DISCLAIMERS:

COPYRIGHT: Xena Warrior Princess, and Gabrielle, are the property of MCA/Universal and are used here without permission. No copyright infringement implied or intended. No dinars will be made on this story. The leading ladies resemble our two X:WP heroines. Any character or name resemblance to 'real' people currently living or dead is completely coincidental. The characters are mine... If you want to use them, please ask me first. Download it, print it out and pass it around if you'd like, but be sure to include these disclaimers.

SUBTEXT: This is a story about two women who are very committed to a caring and loving relationship. Sex is part of that relationship, but not the focus. There are some mildly graphic sex scenes within, but nothing explicit or kinky. If this type of love offends you, if you are less than 18 years old, or if love is illegal where you live, climb on board the anti-subtext train and get outta town.

VIOLENCE: None

TIME LINE: This is the ninth installment in a modern day Uber-Xena sequence, starting with "The 'Commitment'" and followed by "A Family in Blood", "Personal Preferences", "Fighting City Hall", "Visions in Paradise", "What's In A Name?", "Promise Me Paradise", and "While I Was Gone...". Since these stories are continuations of each other, there are events mentioned within that will not make much sense if you haven't read them all in order.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I strongly believe that love is love, regardless of how it is packaged, so please don't flame me for believing in something so wonderful. All flames will be flushed down the toilet, however, I do encourage constructive criticism. Send all feedback to warriorx@together.net.

SPECIAL ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: To Brett: Thank you for providing some much needed clinical information and making this tale a lot more believable and technically accurate. You've been a great sounding board, friend, and a wonderful source of information. I could not have written this story without your help. To Rosa: For "Rosa-Proofing" the text...I dared you on this one girl... - thanks for the inputs! To Herbard: A very special thank you for editing my copy. As always, my friend, you have provided immeasurable help and moral support, and have prevented me, once more, from looking like a literary idiot! Thank you, kd. :-)

Unchained Memories

By: kd bard

Started 02/20/99

Finished 03/02/99

NOTE TO READERS: This story takes place IMMEDIATELY following "While I Was Gone". I generally do not post incomplete stories, and I apologize to anyone who was miffed by the abrupt end to "While I Was Gone", but the document was becoming quite a monster in size, so I decided to split it into two stories. However... I did wait until both documents were finished before posting them together,... so forgive me... please? kd :-)

CHAPTER VII

Cat arrived at her parent's house about 20 minutes later. She was immediately tackled to the floor by three children. After she surrendered to their ambush, they let her up and showered her with hugs and kisses, each one asking when they could visit Billie again.

In all the excitement, she didn't notice it right away, but after a moment or two, she realized that there was something different about Seth. When she realized what it was, she grinned from ear to ear and hugged him close, whispering in his ear, "Mom is going to be very touched, honey." He grinned back at her and blushed.

She spent the next hour visiting with her Mother and the children, telling them all about the progress Billie was making during her therapy sessions.

"She can really walk now?" asked Tara.

"With a little help... yes, she can, love." Cat replied.

"Cool!" came the reply.

"Does Mommy still talk funny?" Skylar asked.

"A little, but that's getting better too, except when she's really tired or upset." Cat answered.

"Is she coming home soon, Mama?" Seth asked. "We really miss her." he added.

"Yeah, we really, really, really, miss her." Tara reiterated.

"Well, if she continues to make such wonderful progress, she should be able to come home in a week or so." Cat explained.

And so went the visit... with the exception of the lecture she received from her mother about not taking care of herself.

After promising that she'd see them all at the hospital after supper, she collected hugs and kisses and was on her way back to Billie.

**********

Cat arrived back at the hospital in a very good mood, hoping that Billie's session with Dr.O'Brien would continue to bring their relationship closer to what is was before her illness. She really missed the warm, loving, affectionate woman that Billie was. She craved the physical contact and the emotional balance they had together, and was looking forward to the days when all would be restored.... "if it can be restored..." said a nagging voice at the back of Cat's mind. Cat tried hard to ignore the voice as she rode the elevator to Billie's floor.

Stepping off the elevator, she strolled down the hallway toward Billie's room exchanging smiles and pleasantries with the nursing staff at the desk on her way by. As she approached Billie's room, she noticed several nurses and orderlies standing outside her door. Cat's stomach did a flip flop as she ran the remaining few steps to her room.

Pushing her way through the crowd, she finally made it into the room to find Doc and Larua trying to physically restrain Billie, who was screaming at them to leave her alone, and throwing anything she could get her hands on.

"Billie!... Billie!" Cat yelled, drawing the attention of everyone in the room... including Billie, who immediately stopped the tirade, and stared at her with such anger in her eyes that it scared Cat witless.

Doc approached Cat and took her by the shoulders. "Caitlain, maybe you should leave. She's pretty unstable right now, and I don't want her hurting you." he said.

Cat looked from Billie to her father, worry etched on her brow. "What happened?" she asked, as she watched Laura try to get Billie back into some semblance of order on the bed.

"We don't know." Doc said. "She asked to use the phone earlier, and the next thing we knew, she was out of control." he said. "I don't know who she called, but it upset her pretty badly." he added.

Cat furrowed her brow and remembered the phone call she had assumed to be a wrong number just before she left the house to visit with the kids. "Could it be?" she remarked to herself. "Jen.... what did you say to her?" Looking at her father, she said, "Daddy, I need to talk to her... alone."

"No, Caitlain. I'm not leaving you alone with her in this condition." he stated.

"Daddy... please. I have an idea about what may be bothering her... please... I need to talk to her alone." Cat explained.

Doc looked at her intently. Seeing the determination in her eyes, he said, "All right, but I'll be right outside the door. If I hear one thing I don't like, I'm coming back in here... understand?"

Cat nodded and hugged her father before approaching Billie's bed. Laura had just pulled the blankets back up to Billie's waist, who was now calmer, but still visually upset. Laura exchanged a look with Cat that very clearly said 'be careful', before she joined Doc in the hallway.

Knowing what Billie was capable of when she was angry, Cat kept herself out of arms' reach of the taller woman until she could more clearly gauge what the problem was. "Billie?" she said tentatively as she approached the bed.

Billie continued to glare at her.

Cat took a step closer. "Billie, Honey, want to tell me what's wrong?" she asked.

"Wwas it ggood?" Billie spat out.

Cat was perplexed. "Was what good, Billie? I don't know what your asking." she said.

"Wwwwith Jjjen... wwas it gggood?" she said again, with even more anger than before.

Cat's eyebrows rose into her hairline. "Jen?" she asked. Then getting angry herself, she put her hands on her hips and glared at Billie. "Billie, just what do you think happened with Jen?" she asked.

"Yyou fffucked hher." Billie yelled.

Cat was speechless. Anger rose instantly in her gut as she launched herself at Billie, pinning her to the bed. She knew she was talking a risk of being physically harmed, but her heart was ruling her senses at the moment, so she cast caution to the wind.

She was sitting astride Billie's legs, her hands on both sides of her face, pushing her head back into the pillows. Leaning in until their noses were nearly touching, Cat very angrily growled back at her. "I did nothing of the sort! Do you understand? We are friends... nothing more! I love YOU... don't you realize that yet? Yes, I love Jen .... but as a sister and a dear friend... nothing more! Now get over it!"

Billie's eyes teared up as the message sunk in.

Cat was still holding her pinned to the bed, looking intently at her lover when the tears came. Her heart was pounding visibly through her chest, her eyes wide with anger. Billie's tears instantly melted Cat's anger away. Cat released her and sat back on Billie's lap, opening her arms to her wife, who went readily into them, resting her head on Cat's chest and wrapping her arms around the smaller woman's body. Cat, in turn, held her tightly in her own embrace, holding her close to her breast, kissing her head and whispering soothing words of endearment.

"Shhh... It's okay, love. I've got you. I love you, Billie... don't ever doubt that." Cat said as she held her wife close, rocking her back and forth.

Billie just held on to Cat for dear life, too choked up speak.

Finally, Cat released her and lowered her back against the inclined bed. Reaching out, she cupped Billie's face in one hand, and leaned in to place a gentle feather-light kiss on Billie's mouth. Then, resting her forehead on Billie's she told her again that she loved her.

Placing one final kiss on Billie's nose, Cat sat back again and asked, "Do you want to tell me what started all this?"

Billie looked down at her hands in her lap, then back up at Cat. "I ccalled yyou at hhome." she said. "I...I mmissed you. Jen answered th..the phone... ssaid yyou were in the sh..shower... ssaid bboth of yyou were ssweaty." Billie explained.

Cat could see where this was leading. Suddenly realizing what she had said to Jen while she was leaving... "Jen... thanks for everything... It was fun... and I really needed it. See you this afternoon, Hon... bye!"... Cat was floored by how that must have sounded to a distraught Billie.

Cat took a deep breath... her chest felt tight with emotion. "Billie, love... We had been on one of Jen's power walks. She caught me just as I got home and talked me into going with her. She was finishing her coffee before she left when you called..." Cat explained.

Billie felt like a fool. She reached out for Cat's hand and held it tightly. Looking up into Cat's face, she said, "I'm ssorry, Cat. I sh..should have ttrusted you."

Cat smiled at her. Reaching up, she traced Billie's right eyebrow and let her finger trail around and down the side of Billie's face to her chin. Tilting Billie's head up, she kissed her lightly and said, "Billie, it's all right... You are just beginning to know me and trust me. I understand how you could have thought..... Well, it's over now, love... let it go. Just know that I love you, okay?" she explained.

"Okay." Billie said as the tears began to fall again.

"Well, I guess you don't need me today." came a voice from the doorway.

Billie and Cat both looked over to see Dr. O'Brien standing there, leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed in front of her.

"How long have you been standing there?" Cat asked, climbing off Billie's lap and sitting on the edge of the bed. Billie captured her hand, preventing her from moving further away.

"At about the point where you put that wrestling hold on Billie, pinning her to the bed." the doctor replied, smiling.

Cat grinned and blushed.

Noting the embarrassment, Dr. O'Brien continued... "Nice move, by the way... Are you two okay?" she asked.

Cat looked at Billie, who smiled at her and then looked back at the doctor, nodding her head.

"Okay then... I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Dr. O'Brien said as she left.

**********

Cat and Billie were talking about the children's visit that evening when Jen poked her head into the room

"Hi!" she said cheerfully.

Cat looked at Billie nervously as she felt her lover tense. Rising from where she was sitting on the bed, she told Billie that she would be right back as she took Jen's hand and led her out of the room to the solarium.

When they reached the solarium at the end of the hall, Cat released Jen's hand and started pacing back and forth. Jen grabbed her on one of her many passes and took her by the shoulders. "Wanna tell me what's wrong?" she asked.

Jen gasped when Cat explained to her what had happened. "Cat, I'm so sorry!" she said.

"For what?" Cat asked. "You didn't do anything.... Billie misinterpreted what you said." Cat explained.

Jen sat down on the edge of the couch. "I wish it were that simple, Cat." she said.

"What does that mean, Jen?" Cat said nervously.

"Damn... how could I be so stupid?" Jen commented. Then looking at Cat, she added, "Cat, I was purposely vague... I wanted to make Billie jealous."

Cat's voice raised three octaves. "Why the hell would you want to do that, Jen?" she asked.

"I was hoping to spur some memories.... to push her into admitting how she feels about you, Cat. I'm sorry... sounds like I really screwed things up." she admitted.

Cat walked over and sat down next to Jen. Throwing her arm around Jen's shoulder, she said, "No Jen...you didn't screw things up. I think your plan worked.... it's just that her reaction was a little more volatile than is healthy for her." Cat explained.

Jen took Cat's hand in her own. "I'm sorry, Cat. I'll back off... Maybe I should go home and let you two be alone, huh?" she suggested.

Cat got up and knelt on the floor in front of Jen. Taking both of her friend's hands in her own, she rested them on Jen's thighs and looked up into her face. "Jen." she said, "I want you to stay... and I don't want you to change the way you are around Billie and I... please don't change... it is one of the things I love the most about you. I've already told Billie how I feel about our friendship... she already knows that I am not willing to give that up." Cat said.

Jen's voice was choked with emotion. "Cat, I know Billie is uncomfortable around me... I've been sensing it since my first visit."

"Yes, she is." Cat verified. "But she has to realize that there's no threat here. The old Billie knew that... the new Billie has to learn it as well."

Jen looked down at their hands and whispered, "I'm sorry, Cat."

Cat rose to her feet and pulled Jen up with her. Looking her in the face, she said... "Well, I'm sorry too... sorry that life sucks so much right now for all of us... but it's bound to get better, Jen... I know it will."

Jen opened her arms and pulled Cat in for a hug.

Breaking apart, Cat wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye and said, "Okay... let's go face the music, all right?"

**********

Cat took Jen's hand and led her into Billie's room. Billie was sitting on the bed, anxiously waiting for them to return. Seeing Jen, she tensed again, but forced herself to relax, realizing that this friendship was important to Cat. "Trust her, Billie!" a voice repeated over and over in her mind.

Jen also tensed as they entered the room. Sensing this, Cat squeezed her hand, silently encouraging her to relax. Taking a deep breath, Jen resolved to just go with it. Releasing Cat's hand, she walked right up to Billie, sat on the edge of the bed, and leaned in to kiss her on the mouth. Sitting back, she said, "How are you feeling, Tough Guy?"

Billie couldn't help but smile at her boldness. Surely Cat told her about the misunderstanding? "Ffine, thanks." she replied.

"Cat tells me that you're just about ready to run the 100 yard dash down the hallway... is that true?" she asked mischievously?

Billie willed herself to relax. "For Cat..." she thought. "Wanna race?" she said out loud, grinning.

Cat stood off to the side, smiling broadly at the exchange.

"Billie, You know the rules, no running in the hallways." Laura said from the doorway.

Billie looked up and smiled. "Yyou're no ffun!" she replied as Laura pulled her walker around in front of her.

Looking at Jen, Laura said, "Hi Jen... Have you come to see Miss Show Off here strut her stuff?"

Jen looked at Billie and raised her eyebrows. "Strut?" she asked.

"Hey, I've ggot to ddo something tto draw attention away from mmy bald hhead!" Billie replied jokingly.

Jen walked over to Billie and planted a kiss on top of her head. "I kinda like your bald head, my friend." she said, causing Billie to smile.

"All right, Missy... Let's go." Laura said, grabbing Billie's hat and planting it on her head before holding the walker down for her to pull herself up.

Soon, the entourage was heading down the hall, stopping at the solarium to visit. Billie made two trips down and back that evening. Jen was very impressed and told Billie as much before she left for the evening.

"Well Big Guy." Jen said, perching on the arm of the chair Billie was sitting in. "I've got to get home and get dinner for the family." she said, leaning in and placing a kiss on her head. "I'm really proud of you, girl... and I love you very much... you know that, don't you?" she asked.

Billie just looked at her and smiled.

Rising to her feet, she opened her arms to Cat who entered them willingly and held her tightly. Releasing her, she looked at Cat and asked, "Walk me to the elevator?"

Cat looked over at Billie who just smiled and nodded slightly. Cat leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll be right back, love." she said as she locked arms with Jen and walked out of the room.

**********

Doc arrived with the kids promptly after dinner. While Tara and Skylar climbed into Billie's lap in the chair, Seth hid behind Cat, not wanting to show Billie his surprise until he had her complete attention.

After several minutes of hugs and kisses, the girls climbed out of Billie's lap and onto her bed to play with the bed controls. Seth, still hiding behind Cat, pushed his mother in front of him as they walked over to Billie. Billie drew her brow together curiously as she watched her son maneuver his way over to her.

"All right, Scout... wwhat's up?" Billie asked.

Cat took a step sideways, exposing Seth to his mother. He reached up and removed the baseball cap he was wearing, exposing his completely shaven head. He was grinning ear to ear.

Billie's eyes flew open. "Seth!" she exclaimed. "Yyou shaved yyour head!"

"Yep!" he exclaimed. "Just like you!"

Billie brought her hand up to her mouth and laughed, then opened her arms to her son. Holding him close, she whispered into his ear, "Thank you, llove. That wwas so ssweet."

Seth pulled back and grinned. "Grandpa took me to get it cut." he said.

Billie looked over at Doc, who was guiltily making himself look busy studying her chart. "Oh, he did, did he?" she said, catching Doc's eye and winking at him. Doc smiled back coyly.

Turning back to Seth, she said, "Well, I llike it.!"

Visiting with the children did wonders for Billie. Several times through the visit, Cat saw glimpses of the old Billie come through... small signs, gestures, expressions, terms of endearment she most often used with them. It was apparent that her body was starting to remember, but her mind was still resisting. All in all, however, the signs were positive. Cat realized that only with the children, did Billie really relax.

"I've got to get her home." Cat thought. "I just know things will improve once she's home."

Finally, it was time for the children to leave. After several rounds of hugs and kisses, they said their good nights, leaving Cat and Billie alone in her room.

************************************************************************************************ CHAPTER VIII

"Okay Billie, on your feet." Joseph directed her two days later in the morning PT session.

Billie planted her feet firmly on the floor and pulled herself off the bed into a standing position, holding onto the walker tightly.

"All right, hold on to my shoulders." he directed.

Billie looked at him warily. "I don't think I'm rready for this, Joseph." she said.

Joseph bent over the walker, looking Billie squarely in the eyes. "Don't be a coward, Billie... You've been cruising the hallways for three days now on this thing... it's time you give it up and move on." he lectured.

Laura stood off to the side with the wheel chair nearby, secretly glad that Cat had to work that morning. Joseph would have had a little spitfire to deal with had she been there to witness the lecture.

Billie still looked uncertain, holding onto the walker tightly.

"I'm going to count to three." Joseph said. "Then I'm going to pull the walker away from you, so you'd better be holding onto my shoulders by then." he warned.

Billie maintained eye contact with him, wondering if she should call his bluff.

"One.... Two..... Thr...." Joseph counted.

Billie quickly let go of the walker and grabbed his shoulders before he could finish counting, looking into his face with undisguised anxiety.

Joseph smiled. "Good, girl." he said. "We're going to try out some crutches today. Laura...." he said, looking over to his assistant.

Laura carried a pair of forearm crutches over to them and handed them to Joseph, taking the walker away.

"All right, these cuffs here fit around your forearms.... like this..." he said, fitting a crutch onto her right arm as she continued to hold on to his shoulders.

Once he had the crutch attached, he motioned for Laura to join him. Laura held onto Billie's belt while Joseph lowered the first crutch to the floor.

"Okay, hold on to the grip and let the crutch help you balance while we attach the other one." he instructed. "Laura is gripping the belt... you won't fall." he assured her.

Billie did as she was told, teetering toward the crutch side. Laura held securely to the belt, keeping her upright as she struggled to maintain her balance. Finally, the second crutch was attached and lowered to the floor. Billie's forehead was drawn and tense while she concentrated on balancing on two support points, rather than the four afforded her by the walker.

"Okay, Billie, try to regain your balance, using the crutches just as anchoring points. Try not to lean on them." Joseph instructed. "That's it... Stand up straight.... good." he encouraged as she brought herself up to her full height. "Okay, now, over the past several days, you've gained a great deal of control over your leg muscles, so you shouldn't have much trouble moving them forward on command. What we need to work on is balance and your sense of rhythm while you walk." he said. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, I think sso." Billie replied, forcing herself to concentrate on standing there without falling over.

"All right. Let's get started. When you move forward, you'll need to move the opposite crutch... in other words, you move the left leg and right crutch together, and visa versa. Okay so far?" he asked.

Billie nodded, looking down intently at her feet.

"Good. Laura is holding onto the belt, and I'll be here in front of you, so don't be afraid of falling over. Now, let's go... left foot, right crutch." he instructed.

Billie did as she was told, teetering side to side, but managing to keep her balance. She looked up at Joseph with an expression of awe. Joseph was smiling at her. Redistributing her weight to her left leg, she moved the right foot and left crutch together. Again, she teetered, but did not fall. Now she was grinning broadly. Five minutes later, she had moved ten feet across the room.

When she reached the other side, Joseph wrapped his arm around her waist to give her extra support as she turned around. Within minutes, she had walked back to the edge of the bed where she had started.

"Can we go again?" Billie asked.

"Sure." Joseph said, leading her to the other side of the room and back once again. "Okay... Let's walk over here to the chair and learn how get on and off your feet using the crutches." he said, directing Billie to the chair by the window.

For the next half hour, with Joseph on one side of her and Laura on the other, Billie practiced raising and lowering herself in and out of the chair. She did fine while they held her arms, but the moment she tried getting up on her own, she lost her balance and fell forward into Joseph's arms.

"Keep your weight over your legs, Billie. Don't lean forward." he instructed her. After several more failed attempts, she finally managed to lift herself out of the chair and stand erect without falling forward.

By the time she accomplished this much, a sheen of sweat covered her body. Exhausted, she slowly lowered herself into the chair and called it quits for the morning.

Joseph leaned down and squeezed her shoulder. "You're doing a great job, Billie. Keep it up and you'll be out of here in no time." he said.

Billie looked up at him and smiled. "Thanks." she said, as she watched him leave.

Before leaving, Laura moved her walker within her reach. "No trying the crutches on your own for a while, okay? You've gotten pretty good with the walker, so as long as you have someone to walk with you, go ahead and use it... but stay off the crutches unless Joseph or I am with you. All right?" she instructed.

Billie nodded and smiled.

"Okay then. I'll see you later this afternoon. Maybe we can take it down the hall if you're up to it. See you then." she said before leaving.

**********

Cat still had not returned from work by the time Billie's lunch had arrived. Eating alone, in silence, she started thinking about everything that had happened to her in the nine or ten days since she had been in the hospital. She found it incredible that she was involved with someone like Cat. When she first woke up, she didn't remember being attracted to women, but slowly, she realized that what she felt for Cat was not merely sisterly affection. She felt different around her. Cat made her feel special, wanted, loved.

She looked forward to waking up each morning, limbs entwined with the smaller woman's. Sometimes she woke up before her and just laid there, enjoying the feel of Cat's head on her shoulder, inhaling the fragrant smell of jasmine in the shampoo she used. Sometimes, she could sense Cat looking at her, reveling in the attention, not letting on that she was aware of the voyeurism. She loved the way her skin tingled when Cat touched her, the way her heart skipped a beat when she hugged her, the way fingers of warmth spread through her when Cat kissed her. She loved to watch Cat with the children... the way she treated Seth like he was her own flesh and blood. She hated the way she felt when others were affectionate with Cat. She hated the feeling of loneliness when she was away from her for long periods of time... like now.

Billie reclined her head against the back of the chair. "By the gods." she said out loud. "I am in love with her. I love her!... I do!... I love her!" Billie exclaimed, smiling ear to ear as she let herself acknowledge the fact. "I.... love.... her!" she said again, liking the sound of it.

Billie had no way of knowing how long she sat there, a stupid grin on her face, before Dr. O'Brien interrupted her thoughts.

"A penny for your thoughts." came the doctor's voice from somewhere in front of her.

Billie's eyes focus on the woman standing there. Smiling, she invited the doctor to sit down.

"Will Cat be joining us?" Dr. O'Brien asked.

"I don't know." Billie replied. "She hhad surgery this mmorning. She hasn't returned yet."

"I see." said the doctor. "You had a very happy look on your face when I came in, Billie. Want to tell me about it?" she asked.

Billie smiled broadly. "I love her." was all she said.

Dr. O'Brien smiled back. "I know." she said.

**********

Billie was still sitting there, smiling, when Laura arrived for her afternoon PT session.

Laura looked at her and knew immediately what was behind the smile. Placing the crutches in front of Billie, she reached out and held her elbow as the dark haired woman rose to her feet. When Billie was standing, and they were face to face, Laura reached up, touched her cheek and said, "So, you've finally realized it, huh?"

Billie looked confused.

"Cat?" Laura said.

Billie just looked down and blushed.

"Thought so..." Laura said as she tightened the belt around Billie's waist. "Okay... Let's get to work, we've got a red head to impress."

For the first 15 minutes, Billie practiced moving around in her room on the crutches. When she was more sure of herself, they ventured out into the hall. It didn't take long for Billie to set up a cadence, moving in jerky, but continuous movements down the hall. A full half hour later, she had reached the solarium where she sat down to rest before making the long trek back to her room.

Cat rushed back to Billie's room from the OR as fast as she could. The surgery she had anesthetized that morning had been long and difficult, and at one point, the surgeons had almost lost the patient. It had taken nearly eight hours for the surgery to be completed. Finally, it was over and Cat was free for the rest of the day.

When Cat reached Billie's room, she found it empty. Checking her watch, she realized that it was time for her afternoon PT session, so she headed down the hall toward the solarium. As she stepped out into the hallway, she looked down the hall and saw Billie and Laura making their way back toward Billie's room. Cat's eyes flew open wide as she realized that Billie was on crutches instead of using her walker.

She was drawn like a magnet toward Billie, walking steadily in her direction until she was directly in front of her. They stopped and looked at each other, both of them oblivious to Laura who was standing off to the side, providing Billie with gentle support with her handhold on the belt. Cat reached up and caressed the side of Billie's face with her hand, while Billie leaned into the touch.

"By the gods, Billie.... I am so proud of you." Cat said softly, her eyes misty over with happiness.

Billie smiled down at her and said. "Cat. We have to talk."

Without breaking eye contact, Cat nodded and said, "Yes, we do."

Laura cleared her throat to remind them that they had company. "Okay, ladies. What do you say we finish our walk, then you'll have the rest of the day to spend together. All right?" she urged.

**********

Billie made her way steadily back to her room, with Cat and Laura in tow. Helping her into bed, Laura ran her through a series of stretching exercises, and then gave her a thorough massage, rubbing the soreness out of her much abused muscles, before finally leaving for the evening.

Laura had left Billie on the bed, the head of it raised so that she was sitting up comfortably. When they were finally alone, Cat went over and shut the door then walked back toward the bed very slowly, never taking her eyes from Billie. She pulled the chair up to the side of the bed and started to sit, before Billie stopped her and patted the bed. Cat smiled and sat where Billie had indicated.

Billie reached down and took one of Cat's hands. Holding her own hand up, she fit Cat's palm into hers and closed her fingers around it. "Nice fit, huh?" she said.

Cat looked from their entwined fingers to Billie's face. "Yes, it is." she said softly.

Their eyes remained locked for several moments before Billie broke the silence.

"Cat." she said. "I love you."

Cat inhaled deeply, catching her breath, and swallowing the lump in her throat, her eyes never leaving Billie's, even as they filled with mist.

"Are you sure?" she asked the taller woman.

Billie nodded. "Very sure." she replied.

************************************************************************************************ CHAPTER IX

..........Billie raced through traffic to get home as fast as possible, running red lights and stop signs along the way. Screeching to a halt in the parking lot, she threw the car into park and ran into the building, taking the stairs three at a time. When she reached their apartment, she noticed that the door was ajar. Her first thoughts were for the children. Running to each of their rooms, she found them still asleep in their beds.

"Cat!" she cried out. "Cat, where are you?" she said again, as she ran toward their bedroom. Pushing the door open violently, the scene before her sickened her beyond all feeling. A totally consuming rage overcame her as she pounced on Brian, who was trying to rise to his feet and zip his trousers at the same time.

"You bastard!" she yelled at him, landing a roundhouse kick to the chin. "You son of a bitch!" Another kick. "I'm going to kill you!" she warned, planting an elbow into his solar plexus, causing him to loose his breath and the contents of his stomach. Her next kick landed squarely on his nose, sending him flying across the room into the bathroom door where he sunk to the floor unconscious. She was about to put him out of his misery permanently, when a small voice stopped her.

Billie! No!" Cat cried...........

Billie sat up abruptly on the bed, sweat pouring down her face, her body trembling violently, her eyes wild with terror. Looking around frantically, she found Cat, lying on her side, next to her, sleeping soundly. Billie took a few minutes to bring her breathing under control before she reached over and touched the sleeping woman's shoulder, assuring herself that she was really there, and safe.

Lying back down on the bed, she threw an arm over her eyes and tried to remember the dream. Cat... Brian... rape... feelings of murderous rage, but no more than that. All that was left were glimpses in time. Rolling over onto her side, she spooned herself behind Cat and reached over, pulling the smaller woman close to her. "I'm scared, Cat." she admitted to herself. "I love you, but I don't know you. I need to remember. We can't be whole until I do." she agonized as she drifted back to sleep.

**********

Cat was scheduled for surgery every morning for the rest of the week. While she was working, Billie threw herself wholeheartedly into her therapy. Over the next two and a half days, she had gained enough mobility and balance on the crutches that Laura found it unnecessary to maintain a constant hold on the belt. At the end of each day, Laura dutifully stretched and massaged Billie's limbs before leaving her in Cat's care. Their evenings were spent cuddling, and talking, or laying in each other's arms, simply enjoying the closeness.

Billie's OT and speech therapy sessions had been discontinued, her progress advancing her to the point that her body could naturally take over and finish the job by itself. Sessions with Dr. O'Brien had been reduced to every other day. With Cat in surgery, Billie attended these sessions alone. She told Dr. O'Brien about her growing love for Cat, and of her fear of never really recovering who she was. Dr. O'Brien tried very hard to make Billie see that permanent memory loss was a very real possibility, and that she would somehow have to learn to live with it, not dwelling on what was lost, but on what lie ahead.

Bright and early Thursday morning, on Billie's fifteenth day in the hospital, Joseph showed up on Billie's doorstep, just after Cat had left for work.

"Good Morning." he said to Billie, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, having just finished her breakfast.

"Joseph." Billie said. "To what do I owe this honor? Wwhere's Laura?" she asked.

"Laura's getting the PT room ready for your therapy. I am here to escort you there, but first, we have a little exercise to do." he explained.

"Exercise?" Billie asked, her eyebrows arching high on her forehead.

Joseph walked over to Billie and held out his hands to her. Placing her hands in his, she automatically pulled herself into a standing position.

"All right... balance yourself." he instructed.

While Billie concentrated on keeping her balance, Joseph released one of her hands. She looked up at him fearfully when she realized what he was planning to do. While maintaining eye contact with her, he gently released her other hand.

She quickly looked down at her feet and started to teeter. Joseph grabbed her by the shoulders and steadied her. "No. Look here." he said, pointing to his own eyes.

Once again, while maintaining steady eye contact, he released her. For long moments, she stood on her own, with no support from a walker or crutches... or Joseph. When her balance started to weaken from standing in one place for too long, Joseph once again reached out and took her shoulders, smiling broadly into her face.

"Well, Billie. I dare say, if today's therapy sessions go as well as this, that you may be going home tomorrow!" Joseph announced.

Billie's eyes widened. "Home?" she asked as she accepted the crutches from Joseph.

"Billie! That's wonderful news!" exclaimed Jen from the doorway.

Billie looked over at Jen and grinned. "Hi Jen.!" she said as the woman crossed the room and hugged her. "Cat's working this morning." she added.

"I'm here to see you, Tall One... not Cat. Want some company during your therapy session?" she asked, a hopeful expression on her face.

A crooked smile appeared on Billie's face. "Sure." she said.

**********

Billie's therapy session that morning consisted of stair climbing techniques. Cat had provided a description of their home to Joseph very early on in the therapy sessions, and it became readily apparent that the stairs to the family room in the basement, and to the bedrooms on the second story were going to be a problem.

Laura had arranged for two configurations of stairs to be set up in the PT room. One with railings and one without. Stair climbing required a combination of muscle strength, muscle control and balance. Considering that she had kept herself in very good condition through regular aerobic exercise and running prior to her illness, her muscle strength had returned almost immediately at the start of her therapy sessions two weeks ago. Through two weeks of hard work, muscle control and a great deal of her balance had also returned. The primary focus of the remaining sessions would be combining the three factors to successfully negotiate the stairs.

Billie easily mastered the stairs with railings, as she was able to use her arms to help pull herself up, and to restrain her descent down the stairs. The stairs without railings were a lot more difficult, having to rely on the crutches and balance to assist movement. Billie worked very hard during her session, while Jen looked on, a thoughtful expression on her face. For two hours, Billie concentrated on climbing up and down the stairs with crutches, Laura standing close by to catch her, should she stumble. Finally, noting that Billie was thoroughly exhausted, Joseph called a halt to the session and sent her back to her room, Jen following closely behind.

Laura left Billie sitting in the chair by the window while Jen sat on the edge of the bed facing her. Billie was very quiet.

"Are you all right, Billie?" Jen asked.

Billie looked up at Jen like she hadn't heard her. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" she asked.

Jen just smiled. "You're nervous about going home, aren't you?" she asked.

Billie just looked down at her hands in her lap. "Yes." she said softly.

Jen walked over to Billie and knelt down in front of her. Taking Billie's hands in her own, she leaned against Billie's legs and propped her elbows up on her friend's thighs. Billie looked directly down at her.

"It'll be all right, you know. Cat loves you very much. I know she will make it as comfortable for you as possible. Don't be afraid, Billie." she said.

"I still don't remember her, Jen. I don't remember you... or the girls. I'm afraid that I never will." she admitted, her eyes misting over.

Jen reached up to smooth the worry lines off Billie's brow. "I think being home with help, Billie. You'll be in familiar surroundings. Maybe it will prompt memory return. Who knows? But if it doesn't.... if for some reason, your memory fails to return, know that you will be among people who love you unconditionally." she explained.

Billie just nodded.

Just then, Billie's lunch arrived.

Jen rose to her feet and placed a gentle kiss on Billie's head. "I've got to go, Big Guy... there's something I need to do before tomorrow. Tell Cat I stopped by and to give me a call tonight, okay?" she said.

Billie nodded as Jen leaned over and kissed her again. "I love you, Billie. I'll see you tomorrow."

**********

Cat arrived at Billie's room just as she was finishing her lunch. Walking over to the chair, she bent over and kissed Billie tenderly on the lips. "Hi.." she said. "How was PT this morning?"

"Stair climbing." Billie said.

Cat looked at Billie. She seemed withdrawn... quiet. Dropping down to one knee in front of her, Cat reached up and ran the back of her hand across Billie's cheek, while watching her expression. What she saw there worried her.

"Billie." she said, raising the tall woman's face to look directly into her own. "What are you afraid of? I can see the fear in your eyes." Cat said.

"Joseph said that I will pprobably be able to ggo home tomorrow." Billie answered.

Cat's face lit up. "Billie! That's wonderful!... Oh, love, I cant' wait to have you home. The kids will be thrilled!" she said, standing up and hugging her tightly.

Cat pulled back when she realized that Billie was not returning the hug. "Billie?" she said, looking for some clue in her face about how she was feeling. "Honey, what's wrong?"

Billie looked up at Cat with undisguised emotion on her face. "Cat, I.... I don't know if I belong there. I still don't remember you. It isn't fair to bburden you wwith this." she said haltingly.

Now Cat was angry. She stood up and walked a couple paces away before turning around to face Billie. "Damn it, Billie. I love you... can't you see that? The children love you. Of course you belong with us. I am thrilled that you are coming home tomorrow. I just know that you'll recover faster there. Please give us a chance Billie. What have you got to lose?" Cat asked.

Billie eyes locked with Cat's. "It's what you've got to lose, that I'm afraid of Cat. What if I never remember? What then, Cat?" Billie said.

"You said you loved me, Billie. Do you really, or were you just telling me something you think I wanted to hear?" Cat asked angrily.

Billie's brow knit together. "I do love you, Cat. I don't know why, but I feel as though I have always loved you. I.... I just don't know you. That terrifies me." Billie said, looking down into her lap. "I'm afraid, Cat... I'm afraid." she added in a soft voice.

Cat approached Billie again and sat on the arm of the chair. Reaching over, she threw an arm around Billie's shoulder and drew her in close, tucking Billie's head under her chin. Laying her cheek on top of Billie's head, she said, "Well, that makes two of us love... that makes two of us."

**********

Laura came to collect Billie for her afternoon PT session as Cat discussed her discharge with Doc and arranged to schedule vacation time for the next two weeks. After the paperwork was done, she called Art to let him know that Billie would be going home the next day, and that he was free to visit whenever he wanted. Finally, she called Jen.

"Hello?" Came the voice at the other end of the line.

"Hi Jen, this is Cat." Cat said into the receiver.

"Oh, Cat... I'm glad you called... I see you got my message. So you probably know by now that Billie is being released tomorrow?" Jen asked.

"Yes... and by the way, thanks for spending time with her today. I really hated that I had to work this week. I missed a lot of her PT sessions. In fact, she's in one now that I need to run to as soon as I'm done with you." Cat explained.

"No problem.... Hey, I was thinking that I could pick your three rugrats up tomorrow, and Fred and I could arrange a coming home party for her. What do you think?" Jen suggested. "We could have a small cookout in the back yard... You know, just our two families. Anything else might overwhelm her." Jen added.

"I think that's a great idea, Jen. You might want to warn Fred, Stevie and Karissa, that Billie probably won't recognize them, though." Cat suggested.

"Yeah, you're right, I will. Okay, Sweetie... I'll let you go.. I know you want to get back to the PT session. Oh, oh, oh!!! Wait a minute... Cat, I almost forgot... Billie is really worried and nervous about coming home tomorrow. You might want to talk to her about it tonight." Jen said.

"You're right, Jen. She is nervous. In fact, she's downright scared. I've already talked to her. This isn't going to be easy. It's going to take a lot of time and patience. I just hope she comes back to us, Jen. I really miss her." Cat finished, her voice choking up at the end.

"Cat, Honey, don't lose faith, all right? I have a good feeling about this. You'll see. Keep you chin up, girl. Okay?" Jen encouraged.

"All right, Jen. Thanks for listening. I'll call you tomorrow when I know what time we'll be coming home.... Okay? I'll talk to you later... All right.. goodbye." Cat said as she hung up the phone.

**********

Billie's PT session went exceptionally well. In addition to stair climbing, Billie practiced walking through the parallel bars using a minimum amount of support from the railings, concentrating on keeping her balance as she placed one foot in front of the other through the length of the bars. The going was very slow, but she managed to walk through the bars with only the lightest touch of her fingertips on the rails. It would be some time yet before she would be able to walk totally unassisted, but it was an encouraging start. Cat stood off to the side with Joseph, beaming with pride as Laura walked through the bars behind her, ready to reach out and support her if necessary.

Finally, the session was over and Billie was returned to her room. Climbing onto the bed, she laid back and waited for the stretching exercises and massage to begin. Laura approached Billie and stood there, looking at her for a few moments. Billie raised her eyebrows to Laura in expectation. Instead of starting the exercises, Laura turned to Cat.

"Cat, come here, will you?" She said as Cat approached the bed. "Since you are the one that will probably be doing this for her at home, you might want to participate in this session." she suggested.

Cat looked at her a little anxiously.

"It's Okay, Cat. You've been watching me for two weeks. You should know exactly what to do by now. Here, let me help you get started." she said, coming around behind Cat and wrapping her arms around the smaller woman. Laura took Cat's hands in her own and directed her in how to exercise and massage Billie's muscles. After a few moments, Cat took over while Laura released her and stepped off to the side to watch, providing verbal direction every now and then.

Billie laid there and allowed herself to enjoy the rub down, closing her eyes and savoring the feelings and emotions that Cat was generating with her hands. For her part, Cat was trying very hard to keep the massage as clinical as possible. Her goal was to provide therapeutic relief, not sexual stimulation, however, glancing over at Billie's face, she wasn't sure which one she was actually accomplishing. By the end of the massage, she was very warm, her face flush, and her heart beating rapidly in her chest. "This is one job that is going to be very difficult to get through each night." Cat thought to herself as she took a step away from the bed, noticing the disappointed look on Billie's face.

Laura chuckled to herself as she saw the emotional state the two ladies were in by the end of the massage. She would have to remember to take Cat aside and remind her that the massage was for therapeutic use only, and that it was necessary to get through it each evening before engaging in "extracurricular activities", so to speak.

"Good job, Cat." Laura said when she had finished. "Don't you think so, Billie?" she asked the tall woman, who was lying there, very relaxed, on the bed.

"Oh Yeah!" Billie said in such a way that it was very obvious what she really thought about the rub down.

Cat blushed, looking everywhere but at Laura.

**********

Later that evening, after dinner, Cat and Billie lay in each other's arms, too nervous about going home tomorrow, to sleep.

"Jen is going to pick the kids up and bring them home for us tomorrow, Billie." Cat said.

Billie nodded.

"Sweet Heart, I know you're nervous. I'm nervous too." Cat said, reaching up to place one hand on the side of Billie's face.

"What is the house like, Cat?" Billie said.

Cat spent the next half hour describing the house in detail to Billie. "We'll have to avoid the family room for a while, since it's in the basement. I don't think you're quite ready for that flight of stairs. And our bedroom is on the second floor, so you'll have to stay in the first floor guest room for a few days." Cat explained.

Billie tensed at the mention of their bedroom. Cat noticed it, but let it pass without comment. "No pressure, Cat... no pressure." she reminded herself.

"We have a fenced in back yard, complete with a tree house." Cat described. "You put a lot of time and effort into fixing it up for the kids. You even installed a manual rope elevator for them." Cat explained. " Jen and Fred are organizing a small cookout in the yard for when we get home tomorrow. Kind of a welcome home party." Cat added.

"Whose Fred?" Billie asked.

"Jen's husband... Oh, Billie, I'm sorry, we haven't talked about Fred in front of you yet, have we?" Cat exclaimed.

"Jen is married?" Billie asked.

"Yes. And they have two children, Stevie, who is Seth's age, and Karissa, who is a year younger than Tara." Cat supplied.

Billie looked at her with a serious expression on her face. Had she known Jen was married, she wouldn't have worried as much about her intentions toward Cat.

Cat knew exactly what Billie was thinking. "Billie." she said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that Jen was married. Come to think of it, that piece of information might have made a few things easier on you. I'm sorry."

Billie yawned. "I gguess I'm more tired than I thought." she commented.

"C'mere." Cat said as she opened her arms to Billie.

Billie rolled over into Cat's arms and placed her head on the smaller woman's shoulder, throwing her arm over Cat's abdomen. Cat rubbed her hand across Billie's head and marveled at how fast her hair was growing back in. Leaning over, she placed a kiss on Billie's forehead and said, "Pleasant dreams, my love. Sleep well." Minutes later, both women had drifted off to sleep.

************************************************************************************************ CHAPTER X

Cat was awakened the next morning by a rhythmic clicking sound. Opening her eyes, she noticed that Billie wasn't in her usual place, next to her in bed. Alarmed, she sat up quickly, suddenly realizing what the clicking was. Billie was nervously pacing back and forth across her room, her crutches clicking with each step she took.

"Billie... Honey, what's wrong." Cat said, noting the look of distress on Billie's face as she paced back and forth.

Billie stopped and looked at Cat. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry, Cat." she said.

Cat climbed out of bed and walked over to Billie, wrapping her arms around the taller woman's waist and resting her head under Billie's chin. Leaning into Cat, Billie lowered her cheek to the top of Cat's head.

They were still standing in this embrace when Doc walked in several minutes later, clearing his throat to announce his arrival. "Good Morning, Daughters." he said, watching the two women separate.

"'Morning, Daddy." Cat said, walking over and giving her father a hug and a kiss.

"Good Morning, Doc." Billie said.

"Well, are we ready to go home?" he asked, looking back and forth between the ladies.

Cat's smile beamed from ear to ear, "You bet!" she said, a sentiment not echoed by Billie, as she looked around nervously.

Doc chose to ignore Billie's nervousness, trusting that Cat had the situation under control. "All right then, Billie. After breakfast, we'll put you through one more series of tests to baseline your condition, then draw up a training and therapy schedule that you can do at home. We'll also need to take a blood sample this morning to check the level of anti-convulant in your blood to make sure it is at the right therapeutic level to keep the epilepsy under control. If all goes well, you'll be out of here by mid afternoon." he said.

"Great! I guess I'd better run home and pick up some clothes for you to wear, Billie." Cat exclaimed. "I'll just jump in the shower and go while you're having breakfast, okay?" she added.

Billie just nodded as Cat excitedly collected her shampoo, towel and clean clothes and headed for the bathroom.

Doc waited for the sound of the shower before addressing Billie.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he said, "Look, Billie. I know this must be terrifying for you. You will virtually be a stranger in your own home. But know this... Cat and the children love you very much. The decision to stay or go is ultimately yours to make, but be sure you've given it a fair try before you do anything. All right?"

Billie looked him in the eye and said, "I will... I promise."

Holding Billie's gaze, Doc continued. "Billie, I once told you that I couldn't possibly replace your own father, but I'd be honored if you'd let me try. I still mean that, regardless of what happens here... and I hope that even if things don't work out with Cat, that you'll still allow an old man to spend some time with his only grandson." he finished, tears forming in his own eyes.

Billie lowered her eyes to the floor and nodded her head. "Of course." she said, her voice breaking as her shoulders shook.

Doc wrapped his arms around the tall woman and held her close as she cried.

**********

As planned, Cat ran home while Billie was having breakfast and her morning baseline session, to pick up a change of clothes for Billie, and to meet with Jen on the afternoon's festivities. As she stepped into the kitchen, Cat could hear the sound of power tools coming from the living room.

"There. That ought to just about do it, Jen." she heard a man's voice say.

Walking through the kitchen and into the living room, she gasped in surprise when saw Jen and Fred, putting the finishing touches on the installation of a new set of railings going up both sides of the stairs to the second story. "What would I ever do with out you two?" she exclaimed as she ran into Jen's arms, kissing her soundly before moving on to repeat the process on Fred.

"I reinforced the basement stairs too." Fred said, grinning, hoping to get another kiss. Jen punched him in the arm and called him a 'pervert' before taking Cat aside to make plans for the cook out.

Before long, Cat was on her way back to the hospital while Jen hurried home to make salads.

Joseph and Laura had Billie about half way through her baseline testing when Cat arrived. Three hours later, they had finished the tests and were formulating a therapy plan that they went over in detail with Cat. The exercises were simple and repetitious, to be done twice a day, followed by stretching and a massage at the end of the day. In between, Billie was encouraged to walk as much as possible with the crutches, and to practice without them as long as she had handholds close by to grab for balance. Laura gave Bille's belt to Cat to take home, instructing her on how to use it to help Billie with unassisted walking. Finally, Laura took Cat aside and talked to her in private about the massages, warning her not to let it lead to 'other' activities, until the massage was done. Cat blushed profusely while receiving the advice from Laura.

Another hour later, the blood tests came back with Billie's anti-convulsant blood levels. They were at the low end of the therapeutic range, so instructions were given to increase the dose slightly and to return for more blood work in a week.

Finally it was time to leave. Saying good bye to Laura was very difficult for Billie. She had grown very close to the woman over he past two weeks, and considered her to be a friend and an ally. Laura gave Billie her phone number at work and an open invitation to call whenever she needed help or had a question about her therapy.

Several hugs and four teary eyes later, she moved on to Joseph, who stood there, as arrogant as ever, arms crossed in front of his chest. Billie smiled and leaned in saying, "Well, Ivan the 'Not-so-Terrible', you really are a pussy cat under all that toughness, you know."

"Don't let that get out, Charland. You'll ruin my reputation." he said, smiling at her. "By the way, I still don't get what you see in her." he said teasingly, motioning with his head toward Cat.

She winked at him then turned to Cat. "Ready to go home?" she asked the smaller woman.

Cat smiled up at her and nodded.

Billie insisted on using her crutches to leave the hospital, refusing the wheel chair. "I've seen enough of that chair to last me a lifetime!" she said. "I'll walk, thank you very much!"

**********

Billie looked around stoically at her home as Cat pulled into the driveway. On the drive home, Cat prepared Billie for the cook out that awaited them. "Jen will be there, along with Fred and the kids." Cat said.

Billie just nodded. "What are the kid's names?" she asked.

"The boy's name is Stevie, the girl is Karissa." she replied.

Cat got out of the car and walked around to Billie's side, opening the door for her. She looked up at Cat with a scowl on her face. "I can do this myself, Cat." she said impatiently.

Cat backed up two steps and threw her hands up... "You're right." she said. "I'm sorry, Billie."

Cat waited patiently while Billie struggled out of the car and set herself up on her crutches. When Billie had cleared the door, Cat pushed it closed, earning another scowl from the tall woman.

"What?" Cat said, looking at her wife.

"I'm not an invalid, Cat!" Billie said tersely.

"Fine!" Cat exclaimed a little more forcefully than she planned, stomping into the back yard and leaving Billie to struggle across the uneven grass on her own.

The kids spotted Cat and Billie the moment they rounded the corner of the garage. Tara was the first one to reach Cat as she jumped into her arms, nearly knocking her over. Seth ran directly to Billie, hugging his mother fiercely around the middle. Skylar attached herself to one of Billie's long legs. Finally, Tara scrambled out of Cat's arms and joined her brother and sister in welcoming their mother home.

Cat noticed that Billie's whole demeanor changed when she was around the children.

"Whoa, there... hold on a minute... Let me sit down at the picnic table so I can greet you properly without falling down, okay?" she said, hobbling over to the table. Billie carefully lowered herself into a seated position and placed the crutches within reaching distance. Looking up at the children, she opened her arms, and welcomed three squirming bodies into them.

Cat watched as Billie hugged and kissed each child, and told then how much she missed them. As expected, Skylar had climbed up into Billie's lap and curled herself into a ball, tucking her head into Billie neck. She stayed there as the other two quickly became bored and ran off to play with their friends. Billie leaned down and kissed the child on the head.

Skylar suddenly sat up and looked at Billie. "Mommy, are you going away again?" she asked.

Cat held he breath a she waited for Billie's answer. "Sky, sweetie, why would you ask a question like that?" Billie said.

"I don't want you to go again, Mommy. I missed you." she said, burying her head in Billie' neck once more.

Billie rocked her back and forth. "I don't want to go again either, love bug." she replied to the child.

If Cat was looking for a commitment from Billie, she was sadly mistaken. Billie had skillfully avoided the child's question, leaving it hanging unanswered in the air around them.

Jen waked up behind Cat and wrapped an arm around her waist. Recognizing the comforting embrace of her friend, Cat leaned her head into Jen's shoulder and sighed.

"How is she?" Jen asked.

"Nervous, edgy, scared." Cat replied. "She's already snapped at me twice since being here."

Jen kissed her on the side of the head. "This is going to take time and patience, my friend. There's bound to be good days and bad days. We'll just need to ride it out and hope that we all come to a safe stop at the end." she said.

Cat reached up and patted the hand that Jen had wrapped around her waist. "You're a good friend, Jen. I am so glad you're here." she said.

Jen came around to face Cat. Placing her hands on both sides of Cat's face, she said, "Cat, know that I'm here for you and Billie. I love both of you very much... I will do anything to help... any time, day or night. Promise me you'll call when you need me - even if all you need is a shoulder to cry on. Okay?" Jen insisted.

Cat smiled and leaned in to kiss Jen on the lips. "I love you, Jen. You are the best friend anyone could ask for." she said as she wrapped her arms around Jen's waist and held her tight.

**********

The cookout was a marginal success. Billie spent a great deal of time laughing and playing silly games with the children. She was introduced to Fred, whom she liked instantly, and she even helped to cook the burgers and hot dogs on the grill. To an outsider, all looked well, but it became painfully obvious to both Jen and Fred, that Billie was avoiding Cat.

Part way through the cook out, Art and Marge showed up. Cat was in the house mixing a new batch of fruit punch for the children when they arrived. Billie recognized Art immediately and rose to her feet, struggling across the yard with her crutches to meet him half way. He opened his arms to his friend, who eagerly went into them.

Art was a big man and quickly absorbed Billie into the circle of his arms, while Marge stood off to the side, waiting her turn. Finally, she grew impatient and slapped Art on the arm with the back of her hand. "Hey, I want some of that too!" she joked, breaking their embrace and taking Billie into her own arms.

While Marge and Billie found a couple of lawn chairs to sit and visit in, Art went in search of Cat. He found her in the kitchen, mixing the punch at the counter and staring out at her friends and family in the back yard. There was a profound look of sadness on her face.

Cat smiled at him as he entered the kitchen. "Hey Little One." he said as he wrapped his arms around her. He held her for long moments, feeling her shudder with emotion and unshed tears.

Finally, she broke away from his embrace and reached up to wipe the corners of her eyes.

Art rubbed her back with is large hand. "Are you all right, Cat?" he asked.

Cat just nodded, not trusting herself to speak right away. After a moment or two, she took a deep breath and said. "I'll be fine, Art. I'm just a big cry baby, that's all." Then, looking up at the big man, she asked, "Did she recognize you?"

"Yes, she did... immediately." he said.

"Good." Cat replied, an uncomfortable silence filling the air around them.

"Well, why don't you let me carry that punch bowl out for you, okay?" he offered.

"Thanks, Art, I'd appreciate that." she replied, following him out the door.

**********

It was early evening before everyone had left. Jen had offered to take the kids for the night, but Cat insisted that Billie would feel more comfortable with them home on her first night.

The kids led Billie on a tour of the first floor while Cat put away left overs from the cookout, straightened the kitchen, and generally did anything she could think of to avoid dealing with the moody woman. Finally, when her excuses ran out, she joined them in the living room, where the four of them were cuddled on the couch, watching a Dr. Doolittle tape on TV.

Cat curled up in a chair off to the side and watched her family enjoy the show. Every once in a while, Cat would catch Billie's eyes, and smile into them warmly, causing Billie to quickly look away. After a few minutes she asked, "Who wants popcorn?" Four pairs of eyes lit up at the suggestion, including Billie's. Popcorn was one of the tall woman's weaknesses.

Cat rose to her feet and went into the kitchen to make some. A short time later, she heard the clicking of Billie's crutches as she approached. Cat held her ground at the stove, keeping her back to Billie.

Billie moved closer and was soon standing directly behind Cat. "Cat." she said. "I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you since we got home."

Cat remained with her back to Billie, trying hard to fight the emotions that were threatening to run away with her. "It's all right, Billie. It's been a hectic day... I understand."

Billie leaned in and placed her chin on Cat's right shoulder. "No it isn't all right, Cat. I've hurt you, and I'm sorry. Forgive me?" she asked.

Cat turned around to face Billie as the taller woman righted her self to her full height. She looked into Billie eyes and saw such a look of utter sorrow and despair, that her heart melted into a puddle at their feet. This time, there was no holding the emotions in check. Allowing the tears to escape her eyes, Cat reached up and touched the side of Billie face and said, "Of course, I forgive you, love.".

Billie lowered her head and kissed Cat lightly on the mouth. Righting herself, she grinned widely as the popcorn started pouring out over the top of the pan onto the stove, sending Cat into a mad scramble to control the eruption.

Finally, Cat followed Billie back into the living room with the large bowl of popcorn and waited until Billie had settled herself onto the couch before placing the bowl in her lap. Cat started back for her chair when Billie interrupted her.

"Cat." she said, drawing the smaller woman's attention. "Right here." Billie added, patting the couch beside her.

Cat smiled and climbed into the fray of bodies, snuggling up close to Billie. The children flowed in to fill any gaps between themselves and their mothers, all wanting to get closer to the bowl of popcorn.

"This is good!" Billie commented on the popcorn as Cat grinned at her.

"Thanks!" she said. "You never could resist a good bowl of popcorn, could you, love?" Cat added.

Billie just smiled, shoving another handful of fluffy kernels into her mouth as she turned her attention back to the movie.

Two hours later when the movie ended, Cat and Billie were surrounded by sleeping children. Seth was laying on Cat's right, his head in her lap. Skylar was laying in Cat's arms with her legs spread out across Billie's lap, and Tara was curled up in Billie's left arm. All three of them sound asleep.

Cat and Billie exchanged an amused smile as they nudged each child awake. "Come on, Rugrats." Billie said. "Off to bed with you."

Seth and Skylar grumbled as they roused themselves awake. Tara stubbornly refused to budge.

Billie looked down into the child in her arms and said. "Tara... Honey, do you remember what happens when you don't behave?"

Tara opened her eyes and looked at Billie. "To the moon, Alice?" she asked, grinning.

"Yep!" Billie replied. Cat said there, wide-eyed at the old joke that passed between her wife and daughter.

"Okay, okay, I'm going." Tara said as she sat up in Billie's lap. Before climbing down, Tara wrapped her arms around Billie's neck and kissed her. "I'm glad you're home, Mom. I missed you." she said, kissing her again.

Billie lowered her forehead to Tara's. "I'm glad to be home too, Sweet Pea." she said.

"All right... off to bed." Cat said as the three children climbed to their feet and gave both mothers hugs and kisses. After a round of "good nights" they headed for the stairs as Billie watched them go. Cat turned to Billie and said, "I'll go tuck them in and be right back, okay?"

Billie just nodded as Cat joined the children.

**********

Twenty minutes later, Cat returned to the living room and found Billie gone. A brief search found her in the kitchen pouring hot water into two tea cups. Cat stood there and watched, as Billie mechanically opened the cubboard, and retrieved the honey, spooning the sweet liquid into both cups and stirring them before automatically reaching for a cinnamon stick from the canister on the counter, breaking it in half and dropping one into each cup. "It's as if she knows where everything is!" Cat mused to herself. "Part of her remembers.... maybe there's hope yet!"

Billie moved the cups to the table, one at a time, while maintaining her balance with the other crutch. Finally, she was done. Looking up at Cat and smiling a satisfied grin, she said, "Tea?"

Cat couldn't help but smile as she sat down at the table with Billie and enjoyed her tea.

**********

After they finished their tea, Cat rinsed both cups and placed them in the dish washer. Then, turning to Billie, who was still seated at the table, she said, "Are you ready for bed, love?"

Billie became very nervous. "Cat..." she began.

Cat interrupted her, knowing she was nervous about the sleeping arrangements. "Billie, I think you should spend the first couple of nights in the downstairs guest room... that way you won't have to worry about negotiating the stairs right away. I'll sleep out on the couch in case you need any thing in the middle of the night."

Billie visibly relaxed. "Cat, you don't have to sleep on the couch... I'll be fine." she said.

"Score one for Cat!" she smaller woman thought as she saw the tension leave Billie's face. "No, for the first night or so, I'll take the couch, Billie. I want to be close by if you need me." she said.

Billie smiled and reached for Cat's hand. "All right, thanks." she said, yawning.

Cat rose to her feet. "Come on... Let's get you settled." she said as Billie struggled to her feet.

Cat left Billie to her privacy as she changed into her night clothes, while she retrieved a couple of blankets and a pillow from the hall closet to use on the couch. After making up her own bed, she returned to the guest room and found Billie already in bed, the covers pulled up to her chest, the room lit only by moonlight. Billie was still awake.

Walking over to the bed, Cat sat down on the edge and reached out to trace a pattern across Billie's brow and down her cheek with her fingertips. "Pleasant dreams, my love." she said, bending over and placing light butterfly kisses on her lips.

"Good night Cat." Billie said as Cat rose to her feet and started walking toward the door. "Cat!" Billie said, stopping her short and causing her to turn around. "I love you." she said.

Cat smiled broadly from her positing across the room. "I love you too, Billie. Good Night." she said before finally leaving.

"Good night my bard", Billie whispered under her breath after Cat left.

Cat stopped in the hallway just outside Billie's room and leaned against the wall to regain her composure. "Good night, my warrior." she whispered before heading to bed on the living room couch.

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