DISCLAIMERS:

COPYRIGHT: Xena Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, the Amazons, Ephiny, Lao Ma and Argo are the property of MCA/Universal and are used here without permission, but for entertainment purposes only, and for no monetary gain. No copyright infringement implied or intended. The story line however, is mine, and reproduction or reuse of it is limited by my permission only.

SUBTEXT: I guess you could call this an anternative piece because it does depiect two women who are very much in love with each other, however, there is absolutely no sex in this one. Just lots of "I love you's" and a little bit of hugging, kissing and cuddling. If this type of love offends you, if you are less than 18 years old, or if love is illegal where you live, climb on board the anti-subtext train and get outta town.

GENRE: This is definitely a relationship piece (ie, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health... yadda, yadda, yadda).

VIOLENCE: None

SPOILER ALERT: This story occurs sometime after the season openers for season 4 (Sins I and II). There are references to nearly every significant event in all three seasons in this story. Some of them won't make sense unless you've seen them all.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I welcome all feedback, however, flames will not penetrate my alligator skin, so don't bother.

Warrior, Heal Thyself

By: kd bard

e-mail: warriorx@together.net

Started 11/24/98

Finished

CHAPTER I

Xena and Gabrielle had been traveling for nearly a quarter moon, on their way to the Festival of Flowers in the Amazon village. Being their queen, Gabrielle's, presence was requested at nearly every festival they held. The Amazons, always looking for a reason to party, had several festivals each year, and Gabrielle made an effort to attend as many of them as possible. As it turned out, they were available, and in the area at the time and so had sent the messenger that had intercepted them, back to the Regent Ephiny, with word that they would be in attendance.

The only thing dampening Gabrielle's mood right now was the oppressive heat and humidity that they had been traveling in for the past several days. Even though Gabrielle was looking forward to seeing her Amazon sisters again, she more than welcomed the delay when Xena found a shimmering pool of clear, cool water on a plateau... bounded by a waterfall coming into the pool on one end, and by a second waterfall on the other end, which emptied into a larger lake at the bottom of a cliff. They were only a day outside of Amazon territory, so the short delay would not make them late for the festival.

It didn't take her long to shed her clothing and run headlong into the refreshing water. Xena was right behind her after removing Argo's saddle and gear to give her a chance to cool down as well.

"Xena, I feel like I've died and gone to Ellisia!", Gabrielle exclaimed as she lay on her back, floating in the cool water.

"Mmmmm", was all the response Xena could muster as she floated along side Gabrielle.

Suddenly, feeling mischievous, Xena rolled over in the water and silently slipped under the surface. With extreme stealth, she swam through the water until she was directly under the bard. Rising quickly, she flipped Gabrielle up and over, sending her under the surface with a loud scream.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Sputtering as she surfaced, the bard flashed an playful glare at the warrior and started to chase her around the pool. Xena, being much taller and stronger, easily managed to stay away from the attacking bard, laughing heartily at Gabrielle's attempts to catch her.

This game of cat and mouse continued for several minutes until Gabrielle was too exhausted to fight the resistance of the water she was trying to run through.

The two friends were so absorbed in their game, that they didn't notice how close they had come to the waterfall that emptied over the cliff. Diving under the water to start swimming back to where their gear was to get the soap, Gabrielle became caught up in an undercurrent that she was too exhausted to fight. Suddenly, she was being pulled closer to the edge of the waterfall.

Noticing that the bard hadn't surfaced, Xena started frantically searching for her, diving under the water, several times, only to resurface empty handed and yelling the bard's name. "Gabrielle!.... Gabrielle!.... Answer me, please... Where are you?" she cried hysterically.

After what seemed like an eternity, Gabrielle finally surfaced hear the edge of the cliff. "Xena!... Xena, help me... Xenaaaaaaa!" she screamed as the current pulled her over the edge.

"Gabrielle!" Xena exclaimed as she helplessly watched her fall over the falls. "Oh gods... Gabrielle!" Swimming as fast as she could to the shore, she ran along the bank until she could look down over the edge of the falls. All she could see was the massive white spray at the surface of the pool below, where the falls entered the water. There was no sign of her bard.

Totally ignoring her nakedness, Xena immediately started climbing down the face of the cliff that ran along side of the falls. She had to find Gabrielle as fast as possible. "Artemis, please let her be alive." Xena prayed.

Xena focused solely on the job at hand, not noticing the various cuts and scrapes she received from the sharp rocks on the way down the cliff. Reaching the bottom, she stood on the highest boulder she could find and carefully scanned the area for a glimpse of Gabrielle's red-blonde hair. Finally, she spotted her, wedged in a log jam on the opposite bank.

"Gabrielle!" Xena screamed when she spotted the bard. She hoped she wasn't too late.

Mindless of her own safety, Xena immediately dove into the water and began swimming across the pool, fighting the swirling water all the way. About a quarter candle mark later, she reached the other side, exhausted, and barely able to pull herself up onto the bank. Taking a minute to regain her strength and catch her breath, she surveyed the area to orient herself and relocate Gabrielle's position. Spotting her almost immediately, Xena got to her feet and made her way down the bank until she reached the log jam.

Things did not look good for the bard. Her body was wedged between two large logs, her legs at odd angles and a large gash across her back. "Gabrielle!" Xena whispered under her breath, a feeling of dread filling her heart. "She doesn't appear to be conscious.... but the gods willing, she'll still be alive." Xena hoped as she waded into the water towards the jam.

Reaching Gabrielle, Xena checked her over for signs of life. Tears sprang to her eyes as she felt a faint pulse in the bard's neck. "Hang in there, Love!" she encouraged as she studied the jog jam, trying to figure out how to free the bard without causing her more injury.

For the next candle mark, Xena dismantled the jog jam around Gabrielle, working from the outside in, removing the peripheral pieces that were holding the jam together. Finally, all that was left were the two large logs that the bard was wedged between. Bracing herself on the log beneath Gabrielle, she planted her feet on the upper log and with all her strength, slowly pushed the log off the bard. Gabrielle groaned as her body was released from the vice.

Carefully cradling the bard in her arms, Xena lifted Gabrielle out of the water and carried her over to the riverbank where she laid her down on a dry bed of leaves. Xena thanked the gods that Gabrielle was still unconscious, oblivious to what her body had just gone through. Seeing that the bard was going into shock, Xena quickly gathered up layers of leaves and moss and laid them over her to keep her warm while she went to retrieve their supplies, including dry blankets and her medicine pouch.

The swim back across the pool and climb up the cliff took more out of her than she expected, forcing her to pause for a few minutes at the top of the climb to catch her breath. After catching her second wind, she sprinted back to where Argo waited with their gear.

Quickly donning her clothes, she re-saddled Argo and shoved Gabrielle's clothes into the saddle bags. Mounting the mare, she rode her across the narrowest part of the pool to the other side. After a short search, she found a path that she was able to lead Argo down without too much difficulty. Reaching the bottom of the falls, it took just a few minutes to reach the place she had left the bard.

Clearing the leaves and moss from the bard, she checked her vitals to see how she was doing. Finding a steady pulse, Xena let out of sigh of relief. "Stay with me, Gabrielle." she coached the bard as she cleansed the stray dirt and leaves from her body.

Xena's first concern was bump on Gabrielle's head. Lifting her eyelids, one at a time, she noticed that the bard's pupils reacted to the light. "That's a good sign." she thought to herself. Cleaning the dirt away from the gash on Gabrielle's forehead, she applied salve and a bandage and then focused her attention on the gash across the smaller woman's back.

Gently rolling Gabrielle over onto her stomach, she gasped at the severity of the injury on her back. There was a cut that ran diagonally from her right shoulder to her left hip, exposing muscle and bone along its length. Upon further inspection, Xena determined that her spine had taken a severe impact, probably on the rocks at the bottom of the falls. Xena's heart sank as she feared what the injury might mean to the bard's future.

"Pull yourself together, warrior." Xena told herself as she felt her control slipping while she contemplated the severity of Gabrielle's injuries. "She needs you now... don't fail her!"

Taking a deep breath, Xena cleansed the wound, dug the needle and thread out of her medicine pouch and started sewing up Gabrielle's back, starting with the layers of muscle and ending with the skin. She then packed the wound with cold moss, hoping to take down any potential swelling.

With the worst of the injuries tended to, Xena began to inspect the rest of the bard's body. She found a broken rib and fractured shin bone, along with various cuts and bruises, which she immediately wrapped.

The next problem Xena had to deal with, was how to move the bard. She knew that with a potential spinal injury, that excessive movement could cause permanent damage. She wasn't even sure that the amount of movement she had already subjected the bard to, hadn't already caused a problem.

She decided that she needed to build a travois to carry the bard on, to keep her back as straight as possible. Looking around the area, she found several small branches, that laid side by side, would provide a relatively flat surface. Xena would brace the underside of them with larger branches to keep them from bowing under the bard's weight. Taking her sword, she set to work de-limbing the branches and assembling her makeshift litter. A couple of candle marks later, after several stops to check on the bard's condition, the travois was complete and attached to Argo. Carefully lifting Gabrielle, Xena laid her down on the travois and strapped her in. Gabrielle still had not regained consciousness. For this, Xena was grateful.

Xena chose to walk beside Argo rather than ride, so that she could be closer to the bard, keeping a keen eye on her patient for changes in her condition. Every so often, she stopped and applied new moss packs to the bard's spine. She hoped with all her heart that the treatments would prevent damage due to swelling, however, considering the angle that Gabrielle's body had been in when she found her, Xena was pretty sure that she had broken her back. This realization made Xena sick with worry, and not at all hopeful about the quality of Gabrielle's future. Tears streamed down the warrior face at the thought. "I won't leave you, my bard." she thought silently. "I promise."

It was near nightfall when the pair came across the first markers signifying the boarder of Amazon territory. Xena sensed the presence of the guards in the trees before they made themselves visible. She pulled Argo to a stop and clasped her hands together above her head in an Amazon sign of peace. Four figures slid gracefully down ropes to the ground. Raising her mask upon her approach, an Amazon with curly blonde hair immediately noticed the travois and sprinted toward it, crouching down beside the litter and looking into the bruised face of the queen.

Looking up at Xena, the Amazon said, "By the gods, Xena, what happened?"

"Ephiny," Xena began, her voice choked with emotion, "she went over a waterfall.... I think her back is broken... I... I.... Oh, gods, Ephiny, its all my fault!" she blurted out, tears falling freely down her face.

Ephiny rose from her position next to the litter and went to Xena, placing her arms around the warrior and pulling her in close. "Shhh, Xena, it'll be all right, you'll see."

Ephiny paused in her comforting to give the other Amazons orders to lead Argo carefully into the village. Ephiny and Xena followed closely behind.

Gabrielle was immediately brought to the healer's hut where Xena insisted on helping with the care of her precious bard. With Xena on one corner and three Amazon's on the others, they lifted Gabrielle off the travois by the edges of the blanket she was lying on, and gently placed her on the healer's examining table. After a lengthy and thorough examination, Nashalla, the elderly healer, motioned for Xena and Ephiny to meet her in the other room for council.

Nashalla paced back and forth across the room, obviously distressed at the news she had for the warrior and Regent.

Knowing what the news would be, combined with Nashalla's nervous behavior, prompted Xena to drop herself in a nearby chair and bury her face in her hands.

Losing all patience, Ephiny grabbed the pacing healer by the arm and swung her around to look into her face. "Nashalla... Tell me!" she demanded.

Nashalla's eyes teared. "It is as the warrior suspected, my Regent. The queen's back is broken. There is little hope that it will heal properly."

Xena started to sob.

"What exactly does that mean!" demanded Ephiny.

"It means that the queen will probably never walk again." answered the healer.

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER II

"Xena, tell me what happened" Ephiny asked as Xena sat beside the bard, brushing the hair off her forehead. Nashalla had made Gabrielle as comfortable as possible, then left her in Xena's care while she went to bed. Gabrielle still had not regained consciousness.

Xena looked at Ephiny, intense sorrow and regret filling her eyes. Ephiny's heart was breaking for the warrior.

"Tell me, Xena." the Regent prompted her again.

Without taking her eyes off Gabrielle's face, Xena began recounting the tale. "We were on our way here, Ephiny. It was hot and sticky. We decided to cool off in a pond I had found. She was just floating around on her back, enjoying the cool water, and I had to go fool around and dunk her under." Xena paused, pain gripping her heart at the memory of what started them in the direction of the waterfall. Xena continued. "She chased me around, bent on revenge. We didn't realize that we had come so close to the edge of the falls. She got caught in an undercurrent and was pulled over the edge." Xena dropped her chin to her chest, the tears falling in streams down her cheeks. She looked up at the Regent, barely seeing her through the veil of tears. "Ephiny... If I hadn't teased her... If I had only left her alone, none of this would have happened!" She paused, wiping at her tears. "Now I've gone and destroyed her life.... Ephiny - she may never walk again, and it's all my fault!" Xena was once again sobbing uncontrollably.

Ephiny rose from her chair and circled around Xena, enveloping her in her arms. Xena let her head fall back onto Ephiny's chest as the Regent consoled her. "Xena," she whispered softly in the warrior's ear. "This is not your fault. You had no way of knowing that she'd be caught in the current. It's not like you planned this for Artemis' sake." Ephiny tried to reason with her. "Besides, we don't know yet if the damage is permanent. We won't know until the swelling is gone and she's had time to recover." She released Xena and moved to her side. Reaching up to turn the warrior's face toward her own, she said, "We can't give up hope, Xena. But whatever the outcome, she is still alive - thanks to you. Please... don't give up hope... It may be all she has left. Okay?"

Xena nodded her head, then turned her attention back to the still form lying on the table.

**********

Morning found the warrior and regent still keeping their vigil at the bard's sickbed. Ephiny's head had fallen onto the bed, where she dozed lightly, however, Xena held her position from the night before, holding Gabrielle's hand and brushing the hair off her forehead. Suddenly, green eyes fluttered open and peered into blue.

Xena's breath caught in her throat at the love and affection she saw mirrored there.

"Hi!" Gabrielle said weakly.

"Hi, yourself." Xena replied, trying to keep a smile on her face. Gabrielle noticed however, that the smile did not quite reach Xena's eyes. "How do you feel, my bard?" Xena asked.

"I feel like I've been run over by a herd of centaurs." the queen replied. "Where am I?" she asked, looking around and noticing Ephiny's head lying a mere inches from her own. "Ephiny?" she asked.

At the sound of her name, Ephiny stirred and looked up into Gabrielle's face. She smiled and said "Good morning, my queen."

Answering her initial question, Xena said, "You're in the healer's hut in the Amazon village, Gabrielle. You've been injured." Pausing, she lifted Gabrielle's hand to her mouth and kissed the back of the bard's knuckles. She used the time to recompose herself before continuing. "What do you remember, Gabrielle?" she asked.

Gabrielle lifted her free hand to her forehead. Xena silently noticed the movement and thanked the gods that she had mobility in her upper body. A hopeful look passed between the warrior and Regent.

"I remember swimming, and chasing you around." Gabrielle paused, obviously trying to remember more. Suddenly it came back to her. "Xena!" she said excitedly, "I was pulled under by a strong current. I remember struggling to get to the surface... I couldn't breathe!" she said, a tinge of panic in her voice. "I remember falling... then, nothing. It's all a blank after that." she finished.

Seeing the stricken look on Xena's face, Gabrielle felt a panic rise in her chest, prompting her to ask for more information. "What happened after that, Xena?"

Xena held the bard's gaze, trying hard not to cry. She took a deep breath. "Gabrielle, you were pulled over the waterfall. You were injured very badly in the fall." Tears escaped the prison of the warrior's eyes and rolled down her face.

An overwhelming sense of doom settled over the bard. Taking a deep breath, she asked as calmly as possible, "How bad is it, Xena? And I want the truth!" she demanded.

Ephiny stood up and started pacing. Gabrielle noticed the movement and realized that whatever the news, it must be very bad for the Regent to react in such a manner.

"Xena... Tell me!" she said, almost hysterically.

"Gabrielle, your back was broken in the fall." Xena said, in almost a whisper, dropping her gaze onto the bed. "I'm so sorry, Gabrielle, this is all my fault."

"My back is broken?" Gabrielle asked, looking back and forth between Ephiny and Xena. "Xena, exactly what does that mean? It will heal, won't it?" she asked hopefully.

When Xena didn't immediately answer, Gabrielle began to panic.

"Oh gods... Oh gods!" she cried, looking around frantically. "This can't be happening. Xena, tell me it will heal - Please tell me it will heal!" she was crying uncontrollably now.

Ephiny sat heavily in the chair beside Gabrielle's bed, the queen's distress overwhelming her. She brought her hands up to her mouth and tried to stifle cries of her own. Her heart was breaking at the sight of the smaller woman grasping for hope. Tears spilled down her cheeks.

Xena grasped Gabrielle's shoulders, preventing the attempt the bard was making to rise up off the bed. "Gabrielle, please lie still... you'll hurt yourself further. Please lie still." Xena begged.

Gabrielle's eyes were wide and filled with a wild panic as she looked at Xena. She whispered in a harsh, raspy voice, "Xena, please tell me I'll walk again... Please!"

"Gabrielle, I can't tell you that... it's too soon to know. Please listen to me... There's always the chance that you'll heal... its just too soon to know right now." Xena replied.

The sound of defeat in Xena's reply deflated the bard's will to fight. She slumped back down onto the bed, releasing all resistance to Xena's attempt at holding her there. She closed her eyes and turned her head to the side to avoid Xena's gaze.

Seeing the change in attitude, Xena lowered her head to Gabrielle's ear and whispered, "Don't give up Gabrielle... please. We'll see this through, just like we always do. I love you with all my heart, and nothing will change that, do you understand?"

Still keeping her eyes closed and head turned away, she nodded slightly. Silent tears escaped her closed lids. "Please go." she said to Xena and Ephiny. "I need to be alone for a while."

"Gabrielle...." Xena started to reply.

"No, Xena!... Please... go." Gabrielle said again.

Xena leaned over an placed a kiss of Gabrielle's cheek. "I will be back, my bard... count on it." she said. Rising to her feet and motioning for Ephiny to do the same, the two woman left the healer's hut. They could hear Gabrielle sobbing loudly as they closed the door. Once outside the hut, Xena collapsed in a heap and cried.

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER III

Over the next few weeks, the cuts, bruises and fractures on Gabrielle's body healed nicely, but none of the treatments they tried, including twice daily massages by Xena, resulted in the feelings returning to her legs. Gabrielle became more and more despondent as each day passed. In the beginning, she held some measure of hope, but as each day passes with no sign of improvement, her spirits fell. When it became apparent that there was no more that could be done for Gabrielle in the healer's hut, Nashalla suggested that she be moved to her own bed. Being in a familiar environment might do wonders to improve her mood.

Ephiny and Solari had gathered several bouquets of flowers and filled the queen's hut with color and pleasant floral scents, however, when Xena entered the hut, carrying the bard, they were sadly disappointed with Gabrielle's reaction. She didn't even acknowledge their own presence, never mind the beautify array of flowers they had provided. Xena gave them an apologetic look as she laid the bard down on their bed.

Shrugging it off, Ephiny approached the bed and sat on the edge. Taking Gabrielle's face in her hands, she placed a kiss on the bard's forehead and welcomed her home. Gabrielle didn't pull away, but did nothing to acknowledge or return the gesture. Ephiny had an overwhelming urge to shake the bard back to her senses, but restrained herself, knowing that had she been in Gabrielle's place, she'd probably be doing the same thing. During the exchange (or lack of), Solari just looked around nervously, obviously uncomfortable with the atmosphere of the hut.

Excusing themselves and promising to send a dinner tray over, Ephiny and Solari left.

Xena closed the door behind them, then turned and leaned against it. She had had just about enough of the bard's attitude.

"Okay, Gabrielle.... Now that you've successfully alienated two of your best friends, I think it's time you give up this self pitying act of yours and start focusing on your recovery." she said pointedly.

Gabrielle was enraged. "What did you say?" she demanded.

"I said, its time to get over it and move on!" Xena said with more force than she intended.

"That is sooooo easy for you to say, Xena. You're not the one lying here useless and broken. I am!" she shot back. Wanting someone else to hurt as much as she was, she added... "And by the way, whose fault is it that I'm in this condition anyway, huh?" Gabrielle really didn't mean what she said... she was just so tired of feeling the way she did... she wanted someone else to share the pain.

Xena reacted as though she had been slapped in the face. She pressed herself back against the door and lowered her chin to her chest. Defeated, she said... "You're right, Gabrielle. You're right. This is my fault. I'm sorry for what I said... I had no right to yell at you like that. Please forgive me." she finished. Approaching the chair by the bed, she picked up her sword and headed back to the door. "I'll be back later, Gabrielle. Eponin will be right outside if you need anything." With that, she left.

Gabrielle sat there stunned at her own unfeeling attack on her best friend. "What have I done?" she thought. "Gods, my life is such a mess. I'm such a burden to everyone around me. I wish I could just lie down here and die."

Gabrielle's head suddenly shot up. "Of course." she thought. "I can end this... end the torment, end the burden, end the pain. I have no future anyway!" Looking around, she spotted Xena's armor on the chair. "Her breast dagger is bound to be there." she thought, reaching over and finding the weapon. "Now, all I have to do is...."

**********

Xena had headed for the practice field. She needed to work off some of this mood. She loved Gabrielle with all her heart, but being around her in her present condition was wearing her down. She knew that she'd be no good to the bard if she allowed herself to fall into a self pitying funk. A good workout is just what she needed. Then she could return to the bard, renewed and better able to deal with Gabrielle's moods. Entering the training grounds, she spend the next candle mark doing sword drills.

"Xena!" a voice shouted. Xena turned to look at where the voice had come from. "Xena, come quickly!" the voice sounded again, this time in panic. Xena realized that it was Eponin running toward her.

Knowing immediately that something was wrong with Gabrielle, Xena ran to meet Eponin. "Ep, what is it?" she demanded.

"Xena!", Eponin said, trying to catch her breath from the run. "It's Gabrielle... she's slit her wrists."

Before Eponin could even finish with the explanation, Xena was on a dead run back to the village. "Damn you, Gabrielle! Damn you! I told you not to give up!" she thought as she ran.

Heading full steam into the queen's hut, Xena charged in to find Nashalla standing over Gabrielle, finishing up with the bandages around the bard's wrists. Ephiny was pacing the room. Xena saw her breast dagger laying on the bedside table. She grabbed it and threw it as hard as she could, embedding it deeply into the wall.

Pushing Nashalla out of the way, Xena grabbed Gabrielle by the shoulders and shook her. "Since when have you ever taken the coward's way out of anything Gabrielle?" she screamed into her face. Gabrielle lay there silently, eyes wide with surprise. "Answer me, damn it!" Xena demanded.

Only then, did Gabrielle snap out of her shock. Green eyes met blue in a desperate plea for help. "Help me Xena... please help me!" she begged.

Xena pulled the bard into the arms and held her, both of them sobbing uncontrollably. "By the gods, you scared me. Please don't ever do this again. I can't live without you." she cried. "Promise me, Gabrielle." she said, holding the bard an arms length away from her. "Promise me!"

Gabrielle just nodded, closing her eyes and letting the tears wash over her face. Xena leaned down and kissed the tears away.

Seeing that the warrior had things well in hand, Nashalla ushered the Regent out of the room ahead of her.

Xena lowered them both down onto the bed and pulled the bard into her arms, holding Gabrielle so tightly, the bard had trouble breathing.

"Xena." the bard said. "I'm so sorry for what I said. I knew I didn't mean it, the minute it left my mouth. Please forgive me. I love you, Xena, really, I do."" she said, starting to cry again.

"I know, my bard. I know." the warrior replied in a soothing voice. "There's nothing to forgive."

"Xena, I'm so scared! I can't live like this for the rest of my life. And I can't ask you to live like this either." she finished.

Xena pulled away and looked into Gabrielle's face. "What are you saying Gabrielle?" she asked, not wanting to hear the answer.

"I want to you to leave, Xena. Go on with your life. You have so much good to do yet. You don't need to be stuck here with a crippled bard. You'll be out of your mind with boredom and restlessness in no time." she answered.

Xena was enraged. She released the bard from her hold and got up from the bed. Pacing the room, tying to get her temper under control, she finally stopped by the side of the bed and looked at Gabrielle. "Is that what you really think of me, Gabrielle? That I would desert you when you need me most? Ahhhhh!" she screamed. Needing an outlet for her anger, she punched the wall, putting her fist through the wood and breaking the bones in her hand. Pulling her bloodied hand out of the wall, she turned back to Gabrielle, her anger spent. "I'm sorry, Gabrielle, I shouldn't have done that." she said.

"I guess I'm not the only one who hurts herself in anger." Gabrielle observed, a slow smile spreading across her face.

Seeing the smile, Xena relaxed. Suddenly, she knew things would be okay. Sitting back on the edge of the bed, she took Gabrielle into her good arm and held her close. "We'll get through this, love. I promise we will." She kissed the side of Gabrielle's face and laid her gently back onto the bed. "I guess I'd better get this looked at, huh?"

Gabrielle nodded through her tears. For the first time in weeks, she had hopes that their love would endure this trial. She didn't know how, but she knew they would endure.

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER IV

Xena wasn't ready to give up. She wouldn't let herself accept the fact that Gabrielle would never walk again, although, she had to admit that in the past three moons since the injury, she had felt her faith challenged in that area.

Xena had been working with Gabrielle daily... messaging her legs, keeping her muscles toned by manually manipulating them, taking her for therapeutic swims. Although there was no improvement in the control Gabrielle had over her mutinous limbs, they were in good shape physically, due to the hard work both she and Xena had put into her therapy routines.

The lack of progress frustrated both women. The only real positive aspect of their hard work is that it brought them closer emotionally. Not being able to participate in any real physical activities, the warrior and bard spent a significant amount of time talking, reading, or just spending quiet time in each other's arms.

Gabrielle was really concerned about Xena's emotional health through all of this hardship. She knew the warrior needed physical stimulation and challenges to keep herself sharp on the battlefield, so she encouraged Xena to spar daily with Eponin, or one of the other warriors. Xena was at first reluctant to leave Gabrielle alone during these times, but soon, she gave in, secretly enjoying the time away from the bard to exercise. Gabrielle on the other hand, was reluctant to leave her hut - not wanting to see the looks of sympathy from her sister Amazons. Ephiny and Solari kept Gabrielle company when Xena was away, not wanting their queen to be lonely, or needing something that she could not get due to her incapacity.

So the days passed in this way, until the sixth month anniversary of the injury passed and Gabrielle finally called a halt to the farce.

Xena had just returned from the practice field and found the bard alone, sitting on the bed among her scrolls, reliving past adventures, and feeling very sorry for herself. Xena hated it when she got this way.

"Hey, Love." she said as she entered the hut.

Gabrielle looked up, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. Without saying a word, she held her arms out to Xena, who rushed over the envelope the bard in her own arms without question.

"Shhhh, it's okay, Gabrielle... it's okay." Xena said, trying to soothe the bard's tears.

"No it isn't, Xena. We're only fooling ourselves. Face it, this is as good as it gets." she said, referring to their current lifestyle.

"No, Gabrielle, I don't believe that. There is a way. I just know it. We just haven't found it yet. Please don't give up hope, My Love, Please." Xena asked.

"Xena, its so hard to go through each day with no change. I can't help but give up hope!" Gabrielle explained.

"I know, my bard. I know... but I'm asking you to try, okay?" Xena encouraged.

"Okay, Xena, I'll try... I promise." Gabrielle replied.

**********

Late that night, as Gabrielle lay cocooned in Xena's arms, sleeping soundly in the realm of Morpheus, a vision came to Xena. Xena saw herself walking through the mist, dressed, not in her warrior leathers, but in a beautifully embroidered oriental gown. Her hair was tied back into a roll at the back of her head.

Suddenly, out of the mist, emerged a figure, a beautiful, petite woman with almond shaped eyes and skin the color of cream. She too was dressed in an ornate oriental gown. As she approached, her identity was made clear to Xena.

"Lao Ma!" Xena heard herself say.

"Yes, Xena, it is I." the small woman replied.

"I... I don't' understand... why am I dreaming of you?" Xena questioned.

"You seek a great truth, Xena. But you have been seeking this truth in all the wrong places. You need to seek within yourself. Only then, will you be able to help the one you love." the small woman replied as she faded into the mist.

"Lao Ma!... Lao Ma, come back!" Xena urged.

"Xena.... Xena!" Gabrielle said, shaking Xena awake.

Returning immediately to consciousness, Xena looked at Gabrielle and knew what she had to do. Rising from the bed, she began to throw her clothes on.

"Xena, what are you doing?" Gabrielle exclaimed. When Xena didn't reply, Gabrielle began to get angry. "Xena! Stop dressing and talk to me!"

Xena approached the bed and sat on the edge, taking Gabrielle's face in her hands. "Gabrielle... I know what to do now! I know how to fix this! Please trust me. I need to leave for a while, but I promise you I'll be back." she said as she continued to dress.

"Xena... I don't understand!" No answer from the warrior. "Xena... you're scaring me.!" Gabrielle said.

"Gabrielle, I've asked you to trust me. Know that I love you, and that I will be back. I can't explain it right now, but our whole future depends on this." Reaching down, she gently kissed the bard. "I will be back, my love.... trust me." she said, then rose and left the hut, leaving a very bewildered Gabrielle behind.

Xena made her way directly to Ephiny's hut. Uncaring that it was the middle of the night, Xena pounded on the door until a disheveled Ephiny opened it. Standing behind Ephiny, was Solari, sword in hand, ready to defend the Regent from the intruder. Xena raised her eyebrow at Solari's presence, not realizing that there was something between the two women.

"Xena, what in Hades name do you want at this time of the night?" Ephiny asked, then immediately thought something was wrong with Gabrielle. "Xena... is Gabrielle all right?" she asked nervously.

"Ephiny, Gabrielle is fine. I need you to do something for me... you too Sol, and also Eponin." she said, addressing Solari.

"Sure, Xena." Solari answered lowering her sword. "What can we do?"

"I have to leave for a while... I may be gone for several moons." Xena started.

Ephiny was immediately wary of Xena's motives. "Xena, you're not thinking about leaving Gabrielle, are you? I know that is has been rough, but...."

"Eph, you know me better than that. No, I'm not leaving Gabrielle, but I do need to make this trip without her. If I'm right, when I return, things will be a lot better for her. I can't explain now.... I just need you to trust me, and to take care of Gabrielle while I'm gone. Please don't let her think that I have deserted her... I will be back - I promise." Xena explained. "Will you do that for me?"

"Of course!" both women replied in unison. "Xena, she's our queen, not to mention our friend. I trust you warrior. Go and do what you have to and I pray to the gods that you are successful." Ephiny added.

"Thanks Eph, Sol." Xena said, giving both of her friends a quick hug. Moments later, Xena had Argo saddled and they were off on a dead run to the sea shore.

************************************************************************************************

CHAPTER V

Two days later, Xena arrived at the sea port. It didn't take long to find lodging for Argo and to book a passage to Chin. Standing there on the dock, waiting for the ship to arrive, memories of her last trip to Chin raged through her mind, along with all of the heartbreak both she and Gabrielle endured because of that time. On her last trip to the exotic land, she was intent on taking a life. On this trip, she was intent on saving one.

The sea voyage took nearly a full moon. Xena missed Gabrielle terribly, but focused on her mission, knowing that if she were successful, the bard's happiness would be assured.

Once she arrived in the land of Chin, she went directly to the Royal Palace, seeking an audience with the current ruler. Having been there just a year earlier, the name of the legendary Warrior Princess who had defeated the cruel and tyrannical ruler Ming Tien was still well known. She was accepted readily into the Palace and provided with a room fit for a queen. "Gabrielle would love this." she thought as she walked around the room, running her hand over the ornate woodwork.

While waiting for an audience with the king, she learned that the new ruler's name was Lao Chang, and that he was a cousin of Lao Ma's husband, Lao Tsu. Lao Tsu died shortly after Lao Ma. Her people believed that he had died of a broken heart, after losing a wife as beautiful as Lao Ma, however, Xena knew that Lao Ma had been keeping him alive with pressure points. Without her help, he quickly succumbed to death.

Lao Chang was known to be a fair and compassionate ruler. Xena was hopeful that he would help her in her quest.

Finally, after several candle marks of waiting, Xena was escorted to Lao Chang's private chamber and treated to a royal meal. Xena felt uncomfortable with royal formalities (a touchy issue between herself and Gabrielle, considering Gabrielle was Amazon royalty), however, she understood that these people stood on formalities, and in order to obtain their help, she gave in and accepted the fuss graciously.

Xena's first impression of Lao Chang was that he was a very young and handsome man, an opinion, it seemed, that he shared with her. "Oh great." Xena thought. "Just what I need - an egotist... Okay, Xena, deal with it - use it to your advantage."

Xena, dressed in the oriental gown that had been left in her room, bowed respectfully the way Lao Ma taught her. "I am honored that you have consented to grant me an audience." she said to Lao Chang.

"It is I who am honored, Xena". Chang replied. "Your name is quite legendary. I can not do enough to thank you for ending the rule of that tyrannical bastard Ming Tien."

"I hope you are a man who speaks only truths, Lao Chang, for I am here on a very important mission for someone I love with all my heart. Surely a man as handsome as yourself has experienced what it is like to be in love?" she baited.

"Ah, Xena, you flatter me... but yes, you are right. There is someone very special in my life as well. I will introduce you to them before you leave my humble home." He said, raising his glass of rice wine to his lips. Placing the glass back on the table, he continued. "Now, Warrior Princess, what is it I can do for you?"

Xena briefly explain her relationship with Gabrielle, not mentioning that she was a woman in the event that this ruler frowned on such relationships. She then went on to explain her mission in Chin.

"So you see, Lao Chang, I need to enter the Land of the Dead to contact Lao Ma. If I am successful, I will be able to bring back with me, the knowledge I need to help Gab... my love." She paused for a moment, then added, "Will you help me?"

Hearing Xena slip by almost mentioning Gabrielle's name, Lao Chang was curious. He fully intended to help Xena, but before committing himself, he wanted the truth. Only with the truth would Xena truly find acceptance within his heart.

Rising from his seat at the end of the table, he walked around the table toward Xena. Pulling out a chair beside her, he said, "I will help you, Xena, but first, tell me about your love."

Xena started to protest that she had already explained the situation, however, Lao Chang interrupted her. "No, Xena, really tell me about your love. Is it a woman?" he asked directly.

Xena looked straight at him defiantly. "Yes, my love is a woman." Xena replied. "However, I fail so see where that is important." she finished.

"Xena, please do not take offense, where none is intended. Please, come with me." he said, rising and taking Xena's hand. "There is someone I would like you to meet who may be able to help you in your quest." he said.

Not releasing her hand, Lao Chang guided Xena into the next room. A servant entered and took instruction from Chang to bring wine and to summon Lao Chi. The servant immediately left to do his bidding. Chang's eyes never left Xena's face during the entire time the servant was in the room, and he continued to hold her gaze as they waited.

Within seconds, an attractive young man entered the room. He was in a word, beautiful. Not handsome, like one would expect of a man, but beautiful. Xena could not take her eyes off him. Noting how his guest was taken with the young man, Lao Chang took Lao Chi's hand and guided him toward Xena. "Xena," he said, "I would like you to meet Lao Chi, my betrothed."

Xena's eyes shot to Lao Chang's face, and an immediate understanding settled between them. "Yes, Xena." he said, understanding the look on her face. "I.. no, We, will help you in your quest to help the one you love."

**********

"Gabrielle." Ephiny called, trying to break the bard out of her daydream. "Gabrielle!, The hut is on fire!"

"Huh?" Gabrielle replied, then realized that Ephiny was trying to get her attention. "Oh, sorry Eph." she apologized. "I guess I was miles away."

"Let me guess... with one six-foot gorgeous hunk of warrior. Am I right?" Ephiny teased.

Gabrielle looked at Ephiny, not attempting to mask the forlorn look in her eye. "Do you think she's coming back, Eph?"

"Yes I do, Gabrielle... she promised. When have you ever known Xena to break a promise?" Ephiny challenged.

"Never." the bard replied.

"That's right - Never. She'll be back, Gabrielle. She loves you too much not to." the regent assured her.

"I hope you're right, Ephiny." Gabrielle said.

"I know I am. Now, you need to eat. I've brought you a lunch tray... it has all your favorites, including nut bread." Ephiny said, trying to entice Gabrielle's legendary appetite to come back.

"Ephiny, I'm not really hungry... Maybe I'll eat something later." she replied.

"No, Gabrielle... Over the past moon, you haven't eaten enough to feed a child. Look at your clothes... You've lost so much weight, they're just hanging off you." the regent observed. Then she tried another approach. "You know, Gabrielle, when Xena comes back, she'll kill me for letting you go to waste like this. If my life means anything to you, you'll eat.... Please?"

Gabrielle chuckled for the first time in several weeks. "She is kind of protective of me, isn't she?" Gabrielle asked.

"That, my dear Queen," Ephiny remarked, "is an understatement!".

This drew another chuckle out of Gabrielle. "Now we're getting somewhere!" Ephiny thought to herself.

Gabrielle selected a few things from the lunch tray and started nibbling. She suddenly realized that she was indeed hungry... hungrier than she thought. Ephiny sat back with a satisfied grin on her face as Gabrielle ate more than half of the tray's content. Finally full, she pushed it aside, promising the regent that she would snack from the tray throughout the rest of the day.

"Ephiny, where do you think she's gone?" the bard asked.

"Gabrielle, you've asked me that question almost daily. I swear that Xena didn't tell me what her destination was, only that she may be gone for several moons. Believe me, Gabrielle, I would tell you if I knew. I promise." the regent finished.

The bard just dropped her chin to her chest and whispered, "Ephiny, I miss her so much. I'm so afraid she'll never come back."

Ephiny had had just about enough of this. Raising Gabrielle's chin so that she was able to look into her eyes, the regent asked, "So what makes you think she won't come back, Gabrielle?"

"Because I told her to leave, Ephiny." the bard replied.

"You did what?" Ephiny exclaimed.

"I told her that I wanted her to start a new life without me, Eph. There is so much more she needs to do, so many wrongs she can right. I didn't want her committed to a cripple, and I told her as much." Gabrielle replied. ************************************************************************************************CHAPTER VI

Refilling Xena's wine glass, Lao Chang asked, "Now, let me understand your request, warrior. You want to enter the Land of the Dead so that you can consult my dead cousin's wife on the art of healing. Is that right?"

"Yes. Many years ago, before I became a warlord, I spent several cycles with Lao Ma. She taught me many things, most of which I did not retain in my arrogance. If I had been a better student, and a better person, I would probably not be here today asking for help." Xena admitted, ashamed of her behavior of years past. She continued... "Before I came to Lao Ma, I was captured by the Roman general Julius Caesar. He had me crucified. While on the cross, he ordered my legs broken. They never healed properly, and I was left with a crippling limp. Lao Ma healed that handicap. As you can see, my legs today are as if they had never suffered any trauma. I need her help to do the same for Gabrielle." Xena finished.

"I see." Chang said. "So would you like Lao Ma to return from the Land of the Dead to heal your Gabrielle's broken back?

"No, your excellency... I do not expect Lao Ma to return. I would not be so presumptuous as to expect that. What I would like, is for her to teach me this healing art so that I can heal Gabrielle myself." Xena explained.

Walking over to Lao Chi, who had been exceptionally quiet during the exchange, Chang whispered something in his ear. Lao Chi immediately rose and left the room.

"Do you understand the risks with such a journey, warrior?" Chang asked.

"Yes, I do. I have already made this trip twice, to the Amazon Land of the Dead. I understand that there is a chance I won't return. It is a risk I am willing to take." Xena concluded.

"You must love her very much, Xena." the emperor observed.

"She is the other half of my soul, Lao Chang. She completes me. I would die for her if necessary." Xena hoped this statement would convince Lao Chang about just what Gabrielle meant to her.

Just then, Lao Chi came back into the room carrying several ancient scrolls. Placing them on the table, he unrolled the first one and anchored the corners. He then bowed to the emperor and backed away.

"All right then... shall we begin?" Chang motioned to the scrolls. "Here are the ancient rituals necessary to complete your journey, Xena. I warn you again, that it is dangerous. Lao Chi will prepare you for your journey. Lao Chi...?" At the command, the quiet man took Xena's hand and led her back to her room.

Upon entering the room, the man spoke to Xena for the first time. "Warrior, the first step in the ritual is a cleansing bath. I have already ordered it prepared. Come with me."

Lao Chi led Xena into the next room where they found a marble tub filled with fragrant bath water. The water was very hot, as steam steadily rose from its surface. Noticing that Xena was eyeing the steam, Lao Chi spoke. "Your journey will require you to pass a few tests, warrior. The first one is this. As you have noticed, the water is very hot... nearly scalding. It is necessary to cleanse the body in preparation for the journey."

Approaching the hot water warily, Xena removed her clothing and stepped into the tub. The temperature of the water scalded her skin, almost beyond tolerance. Pushing the pain to the back of her mind, she slowly lowered her body into the hot liquid, until she was submerged to her neck. She nearly lost consciousness as her body temperature rose to dangerous levels. "For Gabrielle... for Gabrielle!" Xena repeated in her mind. Soon, partially due to the cooling water, and partially due to her skin losing all sensation in the hot water, she was able to tolerate the liquid without pain.

When it became obvious that the warrior had passed the first test, Lao Chi called in several servant girls, who proceeded to bathe Xena's body and hair. A full candle mark from the time she had stepped into the scalding liquid, the bath was concluded. A soothing ointment was applied to her skin, and a soft robe provided for her comfort. Xena was then led to her room and instructed to stay there until the next day. She laid herself across the bed, her skin tingling in the cool air. She soon fell asleep, thinking about her bard.

**********

Until Xena returned, a cot had been moved into Gabrielle's room for Eponin to sleep on. It wasn't unusual for Gabrielle to wake up in the middle of the night screaming Xena's name, and Eponin was always there to hold her and provide comfort. This night was no exception. What made this time different though, is that Gabrielle thrashed back and forth, seemingly running a high fever. Eponin ran to summon Nashalla as she was unable to wake Gabrielle from the throes of her nightmare.

Nashalla verified that Gabrielle was indeed running a fever. She too was unable to wake the queen. Gabrielle thrashed around, sweating profusely for a full candle mark before abruptly stopping. Suddenly, Gabrielle awoke and looked around the room in confusion. Nashalla noticed that a red tinge appeared on the bard's skin... almost like she had been scalded. Removing Gabrielle's clothing, Nashalla applied a soothing ointment to her skin and then wrapped her in a soft robe. Gabrielle laid herself across the bed, her skin tingling in the cool air. She soon fell asleep, thinking about her warrior.

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER VII

Early the next morning, Lao Chi returned to Xena's room to prepare her for the next trial. Lao Chi led her to a room in the basement of the castle where she was ordered to disrobe and lie naked on a cold marble table. On each side of the table, were grips that she was instructed to hold. Servant girls were again called in and ordered to smear a thick sticky substance all over Xena's torso and limbs. The substance smelled sweet, like honey, Xena thought. Lao Chi and the servants soon left her alone in the room after she was given orders not to move from the table top, or release the grips. The implication was very clear that she would be watched to determine if she complied with the orders.

For several candle marks, nothing happened. Xena laid there on the table, the damp basement causing goose bumps to raise on her skin. Her nose started to itch, but she resisted the temptation to scratch, knowing she would have to release one of the grips to indulge herself. Soon, she was able to ignore the discomfort long enough for it to go away.

Suddenly, when Xena thought she would go out of her mind from inactivity, she heard a grinding noise, almost like two pieces of rock sliding against each other. Tuning her sensitive hearing to the sound, she heard the scurry of little feet heading toward her. She had just enough time to shut down her mind before the rats attacked, the sweet, sticky substance on her body drawing them to her. It took three candle marks for the rats to completely cleanse Xena's body of the sweet substance, leaving several scratches and bite marks in their wake. Satisfied that there was no more to be had, the rats scurried back into their hole.

Observing the whole ordeal from a window in the door, Lao Chi was satisfied that Xena had not moved from the table, nor had she released the grips. She had passed the second test. Once again, servant girls were sent in to clean Xena up, and tend to her wounds. She was then led to her room where an array of food had been supplied for her enjoyment. Xena had no idea what time of day it was, but she was sure she had been in that room for 7 or 8 candle marks, and she was famished. Eating her fill and drinking the wine provided with her meal, she again laid her self across the bed, wrapped in her robe and fell asleep. She dreamed all through the night about herself and Gabrielle frolicking in a field of wildflowers.

**********

"No!... Get them off me!" the bard screamed, trashing about in her sleep. "Oh gods, please, get them away. Xena, please help me, they're biting me.!"

Eponin was awake in an instant and at the bard's bedside. "Wake up, Gabrielle... Wake up. It's a dream - it's only a dream!" the Weapons master urged.

Unlike the night before, Gabrielle snapped awake, but started brushing something from her body. "Ep, please, get them off me," she pleaded, continuing to brush her hands over her body.

"Gabrielle... What is it? There's nothing there!" Eponin declared, trying to get the bard to see what was so obvious to her.

"Rats! There are rats crawling all over me... can't you see them? Please Eponin, help me!" the bard screamed hysterically.

"Hera's Tits!" Eponin cursed. Leaving Gabrielle's bedside for just a moment, Eponin went to the door and ordered the royal guard stationed outside to fetch Nashalla and Ephiny. She returned to Gabrielle and helped her to brush the imaginary rodents off the bard's body until the healer and regent arrived.

Ephiny was the first to arrive, running so fast, she had to skid to a stop just inside Gabrielle's door. "Eponin, what it is?" she demanded frantically as she noticed Eponin running her hands up and down Gabrielle's legs like she was brushing something off them.

"Ephiny!" Gabrielle exclaimed. "Please help me... They're biting me. Please get them off!" Gabrielle was nearly hysterical.

Ephiny looked to Eponin for an explanation. All she got was one word, "Rats".

"Rats?" Ephiny repeated, confused.

"Damn it, Ephiny! Help me... Can't you see them? They're crawling all over me!" the bard cried.

Ephiny saw nothing, but set about brushing the imaginary critters off her friend anyway.

This process was repeated again, when Nashalla joined them. After nearly three candle marks of thrashing and brushing, the bard finally calmed down. "Thank the gods, they're gone" she announced, with tears streaming down her face.

Nashalla, Ephiny and Eponin all looked at each other, wondering if their queen had indeed gone over the edge emotionally.

Nashalla broke the silence. "Gabrielle, let me examine you. I need to see if the critters left any marks that will need treatment." she said, humoring the distraught bard.

A collective gasp filled the room as the bard opened her robe to expose numerous bite and claw marks covering her from neck to feet.

"Hera's Tits!" Eponin said again.

"Ephiny," Nashalla instructed. "Get the salve out of my bag for me, will you? And Eponin, take the tea leaves in the blue pouch and brew a cup for our queen here. It will help her sleep."

Ephiny quickly complied, handing the ointment over to the healer who began to apply it to Gabrielle's wounds while Eponin brewed the tea.

Once the healer was done, Gabrielle accepted the tea with shaky hands and drank its entire contents. She then laid her self across the bed, wrapped in her robe and fell asleep. She dreamed all through the night about herself and Xena frolicking in a field of wildflowers.

Nashalla, Ephiny and Eponin left the hut to discuss this latest turn of events outside the range of the queen's hearing. "What do you think is happening here, Eph?" Eponin asked.

"I don't know, Ep, but I'm guessing it has something to do with Xena."
************************************************************************************************CHAPTER VIII

Xena was summoned the next morning for an audience with Lao Chang, sporting several cuts and bruises from the rat attack the day before. Lao Chi escorted the warrior to the royal dining hall and left her there to wait for the emperor to arrive, which he did promptly.

"Ah, Good Morning, Xena." he greeted her with overt friendliness. "I am very pleased to see that you have passed our trials so far. There is of course, one more, and it is by far the most difficult. Where the previous two trials have been of the body, this final test is of the mind." He paused for effect.

"Go on." Xena urged. She wanted desperately to get this over with so she could return to her bard.

"The final trial, Xena, will be to face your past." He saw Xena stiffen at his words. This he knew, would be difficult for her to bear. "You will be served your breakfast, but afterwards, you will be instructed to drink a special mind-altering drug, which will cast you deep into your past. You will relive each painful moment, up to the present day. If you survive this trial without crying out for it to stop, you will be allowed to pass into the realm of the dead. If you abruptly end the journey before it is complete, you will die. Are you prepared for this trial, Xena?" he asked.

"I have one question, Lao Chang." the warrior replied.

"And what is that, Xena?" he asked.

"Can I skip breakfast and get started right away?" she said, meeting the challenging look in his eyes.

"Of course, warrior. Lao Chi!" he called out. Lao Chi entered the room immediately. "Our guest wants to start her final trial right away. Please see that it is so."

"As you wish, my Emperor." Lao Chi said, bowing to Chang. Turning to Xena, he waved his arm in the direction of the door and said, "This way warrior." Xena exited through the door, with Lao Chi following closely behind.

**********

Lao Chi surprised Xena by leading her back to her own room. She was instructed to lie on the bed, fully clothed this time, but to submit to binds that would tie her wrists and ankles to the bed posts.

"Why the restraints, Lao Chi?" Xena asked, not comfortable with putting herself is such a vulnerable position.

"This part of the trail can be very dangerous to the traveler, warrior. The restraints are to protect you from yourself - not to hold you prisoner. They will be released at your request at any point in the process." he replied.

Satisfied that no harm was meant by the restraints, she consented. After drinking the potion, she was shackled to the bed. Soon after, her journey began.

The first memory she encountered was the beating her mother received at the hands of her father when she was only seven. She didn't even realize she had witnessed that event. Soon afterwards, her father disappeared.

Her next memory was watching her brother Lyceus die at the hands of Corteeze. Tears began to stream down her face, but she stubbornly refused to give in.

Next, was her crucifixion and the death of M'Lilla at the hands of Caesar's men.

Her heart ripped from her chest as she saw herself giving up Solan to be raised by the centaurs.

She saw Marcus die in her arms, and felt the rejection of her home village, including her mother, when she gave up her warlord ways and started fighting for the greater good.

She saw scenes of a distraught self, pounding on Gabrielle's chest, yelling at her to wake up in the temple at Thessaly.

She relived the rape of her bard at the hands of the evil god Dahak, and the murder of her son by Gabrielle's daughter Hope.

She saw herself sink the hairpin into the temple of Ming Tien, killing him and then lying to Gabrielle about it.

She nearly cried out when she saw herself dragging her bard through the Amazon country side, intent on killing her. This one memory nearly caused her to end the journey, but she held her will in check and continued.

She saw Gabrielle on the brink of death from a Persian arrow laced with poison.

Watching the bard fling herself and her daughter into the lava pit to save the warrior caused her tremendous grief and pain, but still, she held on.

Finally, the journey was complete with the memory of her bard's broken body lying in the middle of a jog jam.

As Xena lay there, thoroughly exhausted by her memories, hair wet with the tears that had run from the sides of her eyes, a feeling of peace and serenity came over her. She closed her eyes and slipped into a state of oblivion. "Now the real journey begins.", she thought to herself.

**********

Eponin wasn't going to waste her time sleeping tonight. She fully expected to be woken in the middle of her dreams by her screaming queen, so she napped during the day in order to stand vigil over the queen that night.

Right on que, Gabrielle started to thrash around in her bed. This time, the nightmare seemed to affect her emotions, rather than her body like the previous two nights. Suddenly, memories from her past came flooding back. As they surfaced, Gabrielle gave voice to them in her sleep. Eponin leaned in close to the queen, ready to wake her if she appeared to be in danger from her dreams. What she heard was a summary of Gabrielle's life:

"Tympani! No. She can't be dead, Daddy, she was my pony!"

"I won't marry him, Mother. He is a simple farm boy... I want adventure in my life!" Eponin smiled at this comment . "I'll bet you got more adventure than you bargained for when you hooked up with Xena!" she thought.

"Xena, take me with you... I'll die here. Did you see the guy they want me to marry?"

"Promise me you won't become a monster if something happens to me... Promise me!"

"Callisto... Perdicus, NO!"

"Xena, I killed her... Meridian... I killed her."

"He raped me!"

"Xena, she is my daughter... I won't let you kill her!"

"Be good, my Hope, my love..."

"You owe someone so much that you're willing to give up these past few years?"

"Scratch my nose, will ya?"

"Xena, she is my daughter... she is not evil. That is why I sent her to Kaliapus' hut."

"Oh gods, Xena, No... Solan!"

"If I had only listened to you Xena, Kaliapus and Solan would still be alive."

"I love you, Xena."

"I HATE YOU!"

"I wanted to get to Chin ahead of her... I wanted to betray her... I wanted to hurt her for loving someone else!"

"Xena, you can't kill her... Ares made a deal with the fates. If you kill Hope, you will die!"

"Remember our deal, Gabrielle, will you stand by and let Xena die?"

"Xenaaaaaaa"

"Hope is alive?

"Xena!, I was pulled under by a strong current. I remember struggling to get to the surface... I couldn't breathe! I remember falling...."

Suddenly, the bard fell silent. Eponin sat by her side, holding her hand, tears running down her face. "By the gods, Gabrielle." she said out loud. "You life has been nothing but Tautarus since meeting Xena! I hope the love you share is worth the pain you have felt."

After another candle mark, it became apparent that the remainder of the night would be uneventful. Gabrielle was sleeping peacefully. Eponin leaned in an placed a kiss on her forehead, then pulled the blankets up around her chin.

"Sleep well, my queen." she said. "Rest assured, that the warrior and I have a lot to talk about when she returns!"

Rising from the chair beside Gabrielle's bed, Eponin retired to her own cot and settled in for the night. Within minutes, she was in the arms of Morpheus.

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER IX

As Xena slowly regained consciousness, she became aware of a mist surrounding her. Recalling the same scene from the dream that started this whole journey, she knew that she would soon see Lao Ma. Sure enough, a small oriental woman in ornamental dress appeared in the distance.

"Lao Ma." Xena said as the woman's identity became known.

"You have come, Xena. I thought you would." Lao Ma replied. "You did well to make it through the trials."

"Lao Ma, I have come for your help." Xena began.

"For Gabrielle." Lao Ma said, reading Xena's thoughts. " You must love her very much to put yourself through the trials on her behalf."

"Lao Ma, she is my heart, she is the reason I breathe. I can not stand to see her in such pain." Xena replied.

"You have grown, warrior. The Xena I knew would not have put another before herself. Tell me, Xena, have you learned to stop hurting and hating? Have you learned to stop desiring and to serve your enemies?" Lao Ma asked.

"I believe I have, Lao Ma. And I have Gabrielle to thank for it. She is so kind and pure. She is painfully honest and values life above all else. She remains true to her beliefs, regardless of the cost. That conviction has caused her much pain over the past few years, but it is who she is. I am trying hard to learn from her." Xena explained.

"I see that you are, Xena. Your presence here is testament to that fact. Now, what is it that you came here for, warrior?"

"Lao Ma, Gabrielle has been injured, due to my own ignorance and stupidity, I might add. I need your help to heal her... the way you healed my legs." Xena explained.

"Xena, you did not have to make the journey here for my help. You have the power inside of you to help her." Lao Ma commented.

"No, Lao Ma. I have lost the power. After I made the Green Dragon small, it disappeared. It has not come back." Xena said sadly.

"Xena, it is still there... it has always been there. You were born with it. It has not resurfaced because it has been buried under all that guilt you carry around with you. Let it go Xena. Let it go, and allow the power to fill you once more. When you made the Green Dragon small, the power was there because you knew what you were doing was right, without regrets. Trust yourself, Xena... trust that you are doing what is right and just, and accept your fate without guilt. Stop hurting, stop hating, stop desiring. Only then, will the power return."

Lao Ma turned to leave. Xena reached out a hand to stop her.

"Thank you, Lao Ma." Xena said.

Lao Ma smiled at Xena, then disappeared into the mist.

Xena slowly regained consciousness, finding herself still tied to her bed in the bedchamber provided for her by Lao Chang. Clearing her head, she knew she had successfully completed her journey. Xena called out for Lao Chi. He appeared almost instantly, like he was waiting for the warrior's summon.

"Release me, Lao Chi." she said. "My journey is over. I am going home."

Smiling for the first time, Xena thought again, about how beautiful the man was. Lao Chi made short work of the restraints at the warrior's wrists and ankles. "I hope you have found the answers you seek, warrior." he commented.

"Yes, I have, Lao Chi... yes I have. Thank You." Xena replied.

Xena met with Lao Chang to express her thanks for his help. Chang extended an open invitation for Xena and the bard to visit whenever they wished, however, Xena didn't believe Gabrielle would want to return to a place that held such bad memories for her.

Taking her leave, she went directly to the sea port to book passage back to Greece. It was going to be a long voyage home.

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER X

The sea voyage from Chin to Greece was uneventful, but long. 35 days to be exact. Xena was never so happy to set foot on native soil as she was when then boat finally docked. Collecting Argo from the stable, and paying the stable hand an extra five dinar for the exceptional care he provided, she was soon on her way to Amazonia.

Xena rode through the nights, shortening the normal two-day trip into just under a day and a half. As she entered Amazon territory, she dismounted and clasped her hands above her head in the usual Amazon sign of peace. Four Amazon scouts glided gracefully down from the tree tops. Pushing up her mask, Solari threw herself into Xena's arms, hugging her fiercely.

"Xena, it's so good to have you back, Gabrielle will be out of her mind with happiness." Solari exclaimed as she turned to send a scout ahead with the news of Xena's arrival.

"No, Solari!" Xena said, motioning for the scout to return. "I want to surprise her... No advance warning, Okay?"

A huge grin broke out across Solari's face. "Anything you want, Xena." she said happily.

The party began walking back to the village. "So, Solari, tell me about this thing you have with Ephiny." the warrior teased.

Solari blushed furiously, as she filled Xena in on the budding romance between herself and the Regent.

By the time the party reached the village, Xena had received a quick rundown of how Gabrielle had fared over the past two moons. Solari completed the report by telling Xena that Gabrielle had finally left her hut, and allowed herself to be wheeled to council meetings in a wagon. Two strong warriors were always on hand to carry her from the wagon to her seat. Xena could just imagine how Gabrielle was swallowing that bit of humility. "Soon, my bard, soon. If things work out the way I think they will..."

The first place the scouting party stopped was at Ephiny's hut. Stepping inside the doorway, Xena saw that Ephiny was busy recording something in a scroll, and didn't even bother to look up at her visitor. "Yes?" she asked, still looking down at the scroll.

"Is that any way to greet a long lost friend, Eph?" Xena teased.

Ephiny's head flew up. "Xena!" she exclaimed, jumping up from her desk and flinging herself into Xena's open arms. "Welcome home... we have missed you so much! - especially a red haired bard I know."

"Where is she, Eph?" Xena asked anxiously.

"Right now, she taking a nap in your hut. If you hurry, you just might be able to join her!" the Regent suggested.

"That's the best idea I've heard in two moon, Eph. I have a lot to tell you, but it will keep. Right now, I have a bard to see. Don't wait lunch for us..." Xena said as she turned to leave.

Sprinting across the compound, Xena arrived at her own hut in a matter of seconds. Carefully pushing the door open, she saw the bard sprawled out on the bed. If it wasn't for the unnatural rigidness in Gabrielle's legs, one would never know by looking at her that she was a cripple. "Soon, my bard... soon." Xena thought again.

Approaching the bed, Xena carefully removed her armor, boots and leathers, and slipped into bed with Gabrielle. By instinct, Gabrielle burrowed herself deep into the warrior's embrace, but continued to sleep. A grin spread across Xena's face as she imagined Gabrielle's reaction when she finally woke up to find the warrior there with her. With this pleasant thought to keep her company, and with the bard wrapped firmly in her arms, Xena fell into a deep sleep.

**********

Xena was startled awake by a piercing scream.

"Xena!... You're home!" cried a delighted bard. "By the god's, you're home!" she wailed again.

She buried her face in Xena's shoulder, crying out her relief. Xena held her close, kissing her head and whispering endearments to her.

"Shhh, It's all right Gabrielle. I'm home, and I'll never leave you again. I promise." she said to her bard.

"Xena, I missed you so much. I was afraid that you weren't coming back. I'm so sorry I doubted you." the bard confessed.

Suddenly, the door to the queen's hut burst open and Eponin rushed in. "My Queen, I heard you scream... are you all right?" she asked as she entered.

"She's just fine, Ep." Xena replied.

"Well Hera's Tits and Ares Balls!" Eponin exclaimed. "Its about time you came home warrior." she said, crossing the room and taking Xena's arm in a warrior's handshake.

"Its good to be home, Ep." Xena returned.

"Well, no time like the present!" Eponin thought. "Ah, Xena, when you get settled in here, I'd like to talk to you... you know, warrior to warrior, okay?"

"Eponin!" Gabrielle warned. "You're not going to tell Xena about what a difficult charge I was, are you?" she asked jokingly.

"You? Difficult? Piece of cake!" Eponin exclaimed, rolling her eyes so only Xena could see them.

Xena chuckled at the display. "Sure, Ep. What do you say we meet on the practice field at dawn tomorrow morning. Is that okay with you?"

"Tomorrow at dawn sounds great, Xena. Well, as long as the queen is in capable hands, I guess my services are no longer needed here. I'll come by later, Gabrielle to collect by stuff, okay?" Eponin asked.

"Eponin, come here please." Gabrielle asked. Eponin approached the bed nervously. Gabrielle patted the bed next to her, asking Eponin to take a seat. Eponin sat, throwing a nervous glance toward the warrior reclining by Gabrielle's side. Reaching for Eponin's hand, she looked into her face and said, "I want to thank you for taking such good care of me, Ep. I know it wasn't always easy, and I wasn't always very cooperative, but I want you to know that I appreciate your care and attention." Gabrielle surprised both Eponin and Xena by pulling Eponin's head down and planting a kiss on her cheek. Eponin quickly stood, blushing to the roots of her hair and made a hasty exit.

"You are wicked, my bard!" Xena said, laughing.

Gabrielle pointed to her own chest and placed an innocent "Who me?" look on her face. Xena laughed even harder and threw herself back onto the pillows.

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER XI

Moments after Eponin left their hut, a guard appeared at their door to announce that Ephiny had called a special celebration in the mess hut to welcome Xena home. Xena groaned at the news.

"That woman will use any excuse for a party!" the warrior complained.

Xena would have preferred a quiet dinner alone with the bard, but it was obvious that Gabrielle was anxious to let her sisters see that her loyal warrior had returned to her. As usual, Xena gave in to the bard's wishes. Xena did, however, insist on carrying Gabrielle to the mess hall rather than letting her ride in the wagon.

When they arrived at the mess hut, they were immediately surrounded by well wishers, all anxious to welcome the warrior home. Xena had to push her way through the crowd to seat Gabrielle at the head table.

After nearly everyone in the room had stopped by the royal table to extend their greetings to the warrior and bard, things finally calmed down enough for reasonable conversation. Part way through the meal, Xena rose and excused herself to retrieve a refill of punch for Gabrielle and wine for herself. Ephiny followed her to the punch bowl.

Being none too subtle, Ephiny asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "Well, Xena, did you find the answers you were looking for?"

"I believe I have, Ephiny." the warrior replied. "... but before I say too much, I need to speak with Nashalla. I promise I will fill you in on all the details as soon as I can. I need to think about how to do this.... and maybe get a little practice in before I try it on Gabrielle."

"Try what on Gabrielle, Xena?" the regent asked.

Placing a hand on Ephiny's shoulder, Xena looked her in the eye and said, "Please Ephiny, give me some time, I promise you'll know everything as soon as I am sure how to proceed, Okay?"

Ephiny saw the sincerity in Xena's eyes and conceded with a nod.

"Thanks, Eph." Xena said before adding, "Now tell me about Gabrielle. How has she been?"

"Well," Ephiny began, "At first, she was very despondent. She wouldn't eat, she hardly slept and she refused to leave her hut. She was convinced that you weren't coming back, Xena. She said that she told you to leave. It took a lot of talking to convince her that you hadn't taken her up on her suggestion."

"Yeah, I'm afraid my timing could have been better." Xena admitted.

"Anyway, " Ephiny continued, "After about two weeks, her clothes were practically falling off her, she had lost so much weight. I finally convinced her to start taking care of herself when I made her realized that you'd probably kill me for her condition when you returned."

Xena chuckled at the scenario.

"Funny, Gabrielle laughed at that picture too. Are the two of you plotting to get rid of me or something?" Ephiny asked in mock seriousness.

"Now, Ephiny.... Honestly.... What would we do without you?" Xena teased.

"Well, Let's hope you don't get the chance to find out, warrior." Ephiny replied.

Turning the conversation back to Gabrielle, Xena asked, "You said she wasn't sleeping..."

"Its not that she couldn't sleep, Xena, it just that her sleep was constantly interrupted by nightmares." the regent explained. "She would wake up screaming out your name, night after night. Finally about a moon ago, there were three nights in a row that she had very unusual dreams. Actually, they were more than dreams.... more like experiences."

"You said there were three of them?" Xena asked. The regent shook her head yes. "Could you tell what they were all about?"

"Yeah... The first night, she didn't actually wake up, but she did thrash around a lot... and she was running a very high temperature. Funny thing, though, is that the fever lasted only about a candle mark, leaving her whole body covered in a slight rash... almost like she had been scalded by hot water." The regent paused to take a sip of her punch. "The second night, she woke up screaming that there were rats crawling all over her. Eponin, Nashalla and I spent three candle marks pretending to brush the imaginary rodents off her, until suddenly, she declared that they were gone. The real strange part about this dream, Xena, is that when Nashalla examined her, she found her body covered in bite marks and scratches! Only the gods know where they came from." Again, Ephiny paused.

"The third dream, Ephiny, what was that about?" Xena prompted her to finish her story.

"You'll need to talk to Eponin about the details, but apparently, she just started rambling about things that had happened to the two of you over the past few years. Gabrielle was very upset by the memories." Ephiny placed a hand on Xena's arm. "I have to warn you, Xena, that Eponin was not happy with some of the things she heard Gabrielle say. I wouldn't be surprised if she confronts you about it."

"That's probably what tomorrow's meeting on the practice field is all about!" thought the warrior.

"Has she had any nightmares since those three?" Xena asked.

"Actually, no... They just stopped. In fact, it was at that point that she started coming around, leaving her hut, visiting with the other Amazons." Ephiny observed. Seeing the strange look on Xena's face, she asked the warrior, "Xena, do the dreams mean something to you?"

"Yes, Ephiny, they do. The events you described actually happened to me, and if my guess is right, Gabrielle dreamed them at the same time they actually happened." Xena paced back and forth in front of the punch table excitedly.

"Xena," Ephiny said, reaching out to stop the warrior's pacing. "Are you telling me that you and Gabrielle experienced the same thing at the same time.... that the two of you are somehow connected? she asked.

"Yes... exactly, and if I'm right about this, it will make what I need to do so much easier!" she finished breathlessly. Grabbing Ephiny by the shoulders, she said, "Eph, I need to meet with you, Gabrielle and Nashalla as soon as possible. I have a lot to tell you, and we have some decisions to make."

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER XII

Gabrielle looked up to see Xena and Ephiny stride toward her from across the mess hall. Xena had a very determined look on her face. She silently wondered who was in trouble with the warrior this time.

Reaching Gabrielle's side, Xena bent down and scooped the bard up into her arms. Looking to Ephiny, she said, "Eph, find Nashalla and meet us in the healer's hut, Okay?"

Ephiny just nodded and strode off to find the healer.

"Xena?" the bard asked in her confusion. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

Xena looked down into Gabrielle's worried face and smiled. "No Gabrielle, nothing is wrong. In fact, I think something is about to be very right." She lowered her face and brushed a quick kiss across the bard's mouth before starting in the direction of the door.

"Xena, Stop... stop right now and tell me what's going on!" the bard demanded.

Xena's stride never faltered. "Gabrielle, I promise, I'll tell you all about it when we reach the healer's hut... now stop wiggling before I drop you!" Xena warned.

Upon reaching the infirmary, Xena pushed the door open with her hip and entered the room. Sitting Gabrielle on a nearby table, she circled the room lighting candles. Gabrielle sat on the edge of the table, watching Xena's movements. Xena appeared to be nervous, or more to the point, excited about the events that were about to unfold. Moments later, Ephiny and Nashalla entered the hut.

"This had better be good, warrior... You interrupted a very nice dinner." Nashalla scolded.

"Oh, it's good all right." Xena replied. Coming up behind Gabrielle, she wrapped the bard in her arms and looked pointedly at Nashalla. "How would you like to see your queen whole again, Nashalla?" she asked.

Gabrielle gasped and turned in Xena's arms to look directly into her face. "Xena...?" she asked.

It took a moment or two for Xena's words to register in Nashalla's mind. "Warrior, do you know what you are saying?" the healer asked, disturbed that Xena could even think about planting false hope in the queen's heart.

"I know exactly what I'm saying, healer." Xena replied. Continuing, she said, "I think its time I told you where I've been for the past two moons, but first let me tell you what it's like to be crucified."

**********

To a rapt audience, Xena recounted her capture and subsequent crucifixion by Julius Caesar. She described for them how her legs had been broken while she hung there on the cross, and how they had healed into nearly useless and crooked limbs. This story was all too familiar to Gabrielle, but she sat there with tear filled eyes any ways.

She told them how she and Borias had traveled to the land of Chin and how she had become the consort of the Empress Lao Ma. She spoke of the inner spirit she had discovered under Lao Ma's tutelage, how she had found that power within her soul by making herself an empty vessel, free of hate and desire. Finally, she told them about the gift that Lao Ma had bestowed on her for finding her inner spirit.... the gift of strong, straight and healthy limbs, healing her legs and enabling her to become whole again.

Xena paused to gauge her audience's reaction. Nashalla and Ephiny waited patiently for Xena to continue. Gabrielle on the other hand, took a deep breath and said, "Xena, you returned to Chin, didn't you?"

Xena walked up to Gabrielle and took her face between her hands. "Yes, Gabrielle... I went to Chin... for you.... for us."

Releasing the bard, she walked a few paces away and then turned to face the women once more. "I traveled to Chin so that I could learn the healing art that made me whole all those years ago.... So I could use it to heal Gabrielle." Xena admitted.

"Xena... You once told me that Lao Ma was the only one who possessed that gift." Gabrielle exclaimed.

"Yes, Gabrielle, that is true." she replied.

Gabrielle looked confused. "Then how...."

"I had to enter the Land of the Dead, Gabrielle... that is how." Xena answered.

"Whoa... wait a minute Xena. Are you saying that you crossed over to the other side?" Ephiny asked.

"Yes, Ephiny. It was the only way I knew to contact Lao Ma." Xena said.

"And did you... contact her, I mean?" asked Gabrielle.

"Yes I did. And she helped me to realize the gift, Gabrielle. Funny thing is, I had it all along. Here." she said, pointing to her heart. "It has been buried here all along, under the guilt, the pain and the memories."

"So let me get this straight, warrior. You have the ability to heal the queen's back?" asked Nashalla, unbelievingly.

Xena responded with one word, "Yes."

Gabrielle closed her eyes and brought her hands up to her mouth. Stifling a sob, she allowed the tears to roll down her face. Xena crossed the room in two long strides and enveloped the bard in her arms, holding her close. "Its Okay, Gabrielle, let it out... let it go. It will be all over soon, I promise."

"You promise?!" Nashalla asked, still unbelieving. "How can you give her false hope like that, Xena? How do you know that it will work? Have you ever healed in this way before?"

"No." admitted the warrior.

Nashalla walked up to the warrior, who was still holding Gabrielle in her arms. "Then how do you know it will work?"

"In order for this to work, the patient, and the healer have to be free of desire, free of hatred. Gabrielle is already in that state, so we are half way home before we even begin our journey." Xena explained.

"And what about you, Xena?" Ephiny said.

"I will obviously need some work." Xena deadpanned, trying to lighten the mood. She saw the corner of Ephiny's mouth twitch in a tiny grin.

"I'd say that's an understatement, my warrior." That comment unexpectedly came from the bard.

Xena looked down chuckling. "You are soooo right, my bard.... soooo right." she said placing a kiss on Gabrielle's forehead.

"I'm glad to see that you all think this is such a laughing matter." Nashalla commented. "How do you propose we "work" on you, warrior?"

Xena released Gabrielle from her arms and waked around the room. "I have two suggestions." Xena began. "First, the purification ritual... for as long as it takes." Xena noticed Gabrielle grimace at the mention of the torturous ritual she had endured after the deaths of Solan and Hope. "Secondly, a secret weapon... One that Gabrielle and I hold together."

Gabrielle's attention was focused sharply on the warrior. "Xena? What do you mean?" she asked.

Xena walked over to stand in front of Gabrielle. Taking the bard's face in her hands once more, she said, "Gabrielle. While I was gone, you had several strange dreams. The fever..., the rats..., the memories?"

Gabrielle nodded her head, remembering each dream in vivid detail.

"My love" Xena continued, "...you were experiencing those things in your dreams at the exact moments I was experiencing them in reality. Gabrielle, don't you see, we are connected. I can attain a state free of desire and hatred through you." Seeing the hope in Gabrielle's moist eyes, she lowered her forehead to meet the bards and added in a whisper, "We have to try!"

All Gabrielle could do was nod.

Standing to her full height, Xena looked at the Regent and healer and said. "All right... Let's get started."

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER XIII

Xena spent the next five days in the purification hut. Several Amazons volunteered to assist in the ritual, keeping the fire hot under the rocks to produce the steam necessary for cleansing the pores, carrying out the ritual whipping of Xena's naked skin, keeping the warrior's mind focused on the task at hand, not letting it wander. Ephiny, Eponin and Solari served double shifts, watching over their friend, and doing everything in their power to help her through this ordeal. Nashalla visited the warrior every few candle marks to provide her with any medical attention she made need. The healer was secretly very fond of the warrior, however, she would bite her tongue off before admitting it out loud to her.

While Xena was undergoing the purification ritual, Gabrielle spent the time in her hut, meditating, clearing her mind, and trying very hard not to worry about what her love was going through. It was during these times that Gabrielle was able to feel the connection between herself and the warrior. Several times during her meditation, she could feel Xena thinking about her. Little did she know, her thoughts of Xena were also realized by the warrior. It was these transmissions that kept Xena's hopes alive.

After five days, the ritual was brought to and end. Several warriors carried Xena from the purification hut to the queen's chambers where they laid her down on the bed. She was very weak, and somewhat dehydrated. Eponin moved back into the hut with Gabrielle and Xena to help the bard care for the warrior for the next two days. Finally, with adequate food and water, Xena was well on her way to recovery.

Eponin couldn't resist ribbing the warrior. "Ya know, Xena, You didn't have to use the purification ritual as an excuse to avoid our sparring session the other morning. One could almost say that you were trying to avoid me or something!"

Xena's eyes sparkled with mirth. "Eponin, my friend. I know what you wanted to talk to me about. Ephiny warned me that you were witness to Gabrielle's memory dream." Xena suddenly became serious. "I appreciate the concern you have for your queen. You are right... she has not had a very happy life with me. We have both lived through many heartbreaking events over the past three years.... but I promise you, with all that I am, that I will do my best to set things right with her and to love her with all my heart for the rest of our lives."

Eponin quickly looked away, not wanting the warrior to see the tears in her eyes. She rose from her seat next to Xena's bed and walked to the door. With her back still to the bed, she said in as stern a voice as she could muster through her tears, "See that you do, warrior... I will hold you to it". Then she was gone.

"I'm counting on it my friend." Xena whispered. "I'm counting on it."

Xena and Gabrielle spent two more days cocooned in their hut, meditating and communicating through their minds. They took no visitors, and ate sparingly, trying to rid themselves of all desires. They would lie for hours, wrapped in each others arms, staring at the ceiling, or humming old lullabies. Never had they experiences such an emotional closeness as they did over those two days. Finally, on the third day, Xena turned to her bard and said, "It is time."

**********

Xena, dressed in her warrior leathers, but without her armor, carried the bard to the healer's hut and gently laid her on the table. She looked deep into Gabrielle's eyes and saw total and utter confidence there... no fear, no worry, just confidence and love. Xena brushed the hair off Gabrielle's forehead and laid a gentle kiss in its place.

Ephiny and Nashalla helped Xena remove Gabrielle's clothing and then roll her over onto her stomach. Gabrielle just closed her eyes and meditated, connecting on a spiritual level with her warrior.

Feeling the bard's presence in her mind, Xena took a moment to steady herself and to accept the bard completely into herself.

Xena stood on one side of the table, Ephiny stationed herself at the queen's head, and Nashalla was on the other side of the table, opposite Xena.

Xena reached out and traced the scar that ran diagonally across Gabrielle's back. Then, she closed her eyes and held her hands a mere breath's width away from the bard's skin. After what seemed like an eternity, Xena's hands started to wander up and down the length of Gabrielle's spine, never actually touching the skin. Xena's eyes were still closed, her head thrown back, her brow furrowed in concentration. An almost identical look could be found on the bard's face. Sweat was running profusely down the warrior's face.

Suddenly, Xena's body went rigid as her hands descended onto Gabrielle's back, pressing the queen hard into the table. Nashalla became alarmed at the seemingly rough treatment, but noted the calm and almost serene expression on Gabrielle's face. The queen was obviously in no pain.

As abruptly as it started, it was over. Xena's body relaxed its tense hold and slowly folded into a heap onto the floor. Both the warrior and the bard were unconscious.

************************************************************************************************CHAPTER XIV

After examining both women, Nashalla concluded that neither of them was injured enough to remain in the healer's hut, so she ordered them carefully removed and carried back to their own bed. Ephiny tucked them in and returned to her hut.

Several candle marks later, Xena stirred. The first thing she noticed was that she had one Tautarus of a headache. The second thing she noticed was the bard wrapped around her. Suddenly, she remembered what she had been doing before she lost consciousness. Her heart started beating double time with anticipation.

Throwing the covers off the two of them, she realized that the bard was indeed wrapped around her - including the fact that their legs were intertwined. "Oh, Sweet Artemis, let it be true!" she thought.

Reaching down, she lightly ran her fingernail along the side of Gabrielle's thigh. No response. Her heart sank.

Reprimanding herself for giving up so easily, she decided to try again. Remembering a tickle spot behind the bard's knee, she carefully reached down and lightly brushed her nail across it. Suddenly, Gabrielle's knee shot up and caught her in the stomach.

"Oomph!" she responded. Recovering quickly, she tried it again. Once more, the knee shot up.

Xena sprang out of bed and did a victory dance around the room, all the time, yelling her war cry.

Gabrielle, suddenly waking up and seeing her love dance around, whooping and hollering like a banshee, surely thought Xena had lost her mind. "Xena...? she questioned.

Noticing that Gabrielle was awake, Xena swooped down on her and scooped her up into her arms, swinging her around in circles, and laughing like a child.

"Xena, what is wrong with you!" Gabrielle demanded.

"Nothing is wrong, Gabrielle... everything is right." she said, promptly dropping Gabrielle's feet to the floor and taking two steps back.

Gabrielle suddenly realized that she was standing on her own. Her eyes flew open as wide as saucers as she looked at Xena. "By the gods, Xena, you did it!" she cried, tears of joy rolling down her face.

"No, Gabrielle... We did it... You and I... we did it together." Xena replied. Holding out her hands, she then said, "Now walk to me my bard."

Gabrielle took a tentative step. Her legs felt weak, but they continued to support her. She took another step, then another. With each step she took toward Xena, Xena took one step back. In the span of a few steps, Xena had led her out the door of their hut and into the courtyard.

Ephiny and Nashalla were crossing the courtyard, on their way to check on the two women. Suddenly, Ephiny stopped and grabbed Nashalla's arm. "Nashalla - look!" she exclaimed.

Nashalla couldn't believe her eyes. There in the courtyard, were the bard and warrior, dancing... dancing of all things! Xena held Gabrielle in the traditional waltz as they circled the courtyard, skipping and laughing as they circled around, scores of Amazons around them, clapping out a rhythm as they moved. Tears flowed freely down the faces of each and every one.

Ephiny ran to her friends and threw her arms around them both. They were all so overcome with emotion that they couldn't speak, so they all just clung together, and shared in each other's joy. Finally, they pulled apart and Ephiny reached her hands up to place then on the sides of the friends' faces.

"You did it!" she said to both of them. "I can't believe you actually did it!"

"There is nothing that we can't do together, Ephiny." the bard said.

"You are so right, Gabrielle." she responded. "However, we actually have two healings to be thankful for today."

Xena and Gabrielle looked at Ephiny, silently commanding her to explain herself.

You see, Xena," she said, poking Xena in the chest, "You had to heal yourself before you could heal Gabrielle."

Gabrielle nestled into Xena's arms as they contemplated Ephiny's words.

They had barely enough time to digest the regents philosophical words when they saw her climb up to the podium and announce a party in celebration of health, life and love.

Xena turned to Gabrielle. "Like I said, my bard... any reason for a party!"

THE END