Who Saves the Hero by Kudara

Chapter 11

Illium - meeting with Shiala

Shiala's presence had been a surprise, as had her green appearance. Some of the Feros colonists had developed health problems as a result of the Thorian's control, headaches and muscle spasms similar to what they experienced while under the Thorian's control and shared sensations with other Thorian victims. Shiala's had been her pigment change, unstable biotics and vivid dreams about her time with the Thorian. The asari suspected it might be due to trace amounts of spores still present within their bodies.

The colony contracted with a company, Baria Frontiers, to do some medical scans and deliver treatment for next to nothing, but now the company wanted to do follow up invasive procedures, a requirement that had hidden in the fine print of the contract. If the colonists refused, then they would be liable for the full price of the medical scans, something they could not afford. Shiala was on Illium trying to get them to amend the contract, but so far had no success.

The longer she spoke to the Baria Frontiers representative trying to work out why the asari seemed to hate other species so much, the more the woman's features reminded her of someone else. Who she reminded Shepard of though remained frustratingly out of reach. "So you'd be this harsh in your contract terms if these were asari colonists?" Shepard asked, she wasn't sure about contract law here, but on Earth entering into a contract in bad faith was a valid reason for the other party to sue for it to be voided.

"If they were asari then they would be dealing with problems unleashed by another race," in her voice Shepard heard so much pain mixed in with the anger, "asari like my bondmate, who died when the geth rebelled against the quarians." Tears welled in the asari's eyes, "Or my daughters, who died during the geth attack on the Citadel. One worked in the embassy the other was a greeter for the Consort."

Now Shepard knew who this asari reminded her of, "Your Neylna's mother. You..." Shepard shook her head, "I mean she looked a lot like you. And the embassy...." Shepard's light grey eyes widened in surprise, "Your Saphyria's mother? Neither of them ever mentioned having a sister working on the Citadel."

Shocked, the asari stared at her, "You knew my daughters?"

"Yes, I spoke with Saphyria most of the times I visited the Citadel. As busy as she was at the embassy switchboard, she always had time to greet me with a smile and ask how I was doing. Neylna was kind enough to fit me in for massages most of the times we were docked for more than a few hours. They were wonderful people, kind and generous; I grieved when I learned they were among those killed." She had grieved at their loss, and been angry at herself for not having arrived sooner, for not having been closer behind Saren and his geth. Neylna had always been so kind to her, fussing over her bruised body almost like a mother hen with a chick before pulling out heat packs and the medicinal massage cream she had gotten specifically for Shepard's massages after it became clear that the Spectre was going to be one of her regular clients.

"They were," tears welled again, "They both loved talking with people, exploring new cultures. I think they got it from my bondmate."

"I knew Neylna better than Saphyria," Shepard said gently, "but I can't think that either one of them would have wanted you to react to their loss like this." She knew for a fact that Neylna would be appalled by what her mother was doing.

"Oh," the pained sound the woman made then made it only too clear that her words had struck home, "I'm not a..." she stumbled backward, "I didn't..." The raw anguish on the asari's face washed away the anger Shepard had been feeling toward her for what she was trying to do to the colonists. She watched as the asari was stopped by the barrier behind her, and then slid down to kneel upon knees and weep. This was Neylna and Saphyria's mother.

Shepard crossed the distance between them, knelt in front of her. The asari looked at her uncertainly, tear tracks marking her cheeks, "I lost both my parents to a batarian slavers raid when I was sixteen," Amanda said softly, "I know only too well that words of comfort can simply sound like empty noise in the face of your pain. Only my grandmother was able to find the words to offer me comfort."

She could see the hesitant question in the asari's dark eyes, "They are with the Goddess now, and she cherishes and loves them no less than you," Amanda said softly to the asari. Her voice was rich with remembered emotion as she recalled those dark days when it seemed that nothing would ever be right again...until her grandmother had come into her life. She looked upon Neylna and Saphyria's mother with eyes full of compassion and understanding, "Though you may feel alone in your grief, never doubt that she is with you always. That she knows your heart, your pain and your loss, and that she grieves with you."

The asari gave a choked cry and then Amanda's arms were full of a grieving mother. She simply held her, saying nothing more, just as her grandmother had held her so many times offering nothing more than her sheltering arms from the world, her strength for the woman to lean upon, and her own true faith in her words and in the Goddess.

Within the quiet recesses of her mind, the Gaelic words of the song her mother had often soothed her to into sleep with, 'Bi thusa mo shuile', echoed softly. Most parents probably didn't sing ancient Irish hymns to their children as a lullaby, but Amanda had simply loved the sound of the Gaelic words and tune as a young child and insisted that her mother sing it to her often. She hadn't cared for the longest time that the song was actually a hymn, and when she had grown old enough to understand what the words meant she had loved it more for its meaning. Right now she was silently singing it to calm herself and channel her emotions toward serenity; the distraught asari in Amanda's arms didn't need her remembered grief on top of the asari's own.

Shepard paid little attention to the passing time, thus she couldn't say exactly when the asari in her arms stopped crying and drew away. "Thank you," the asari said, her voice hoarse. Shepard nodded; she rose and then offered her hand to the asari and pulled her to her feet. "I don't even know your name."

"Amanda Shepard," she replied.

"Erinya T'Nara. I'm sending an amended contract, no more tests, no more fees," the asari said quietly, her eyes dropping in shame, "You're right my daughters would be...horrified by my actions."

"I'm sure they would understand your pain and forgive you," Shepard offered gently.

Erinya's head rose, their eyes met and the purple hued asari stared at her searchingly for several seconds. Then the matron did something that Amanda had no idea how to properly respond to, Erinya bowed to her. "I hope that you are right," the asari responded softly as she turned to leave.

Still confused by Erinya's final action, Shepard watched the asari depart before turning to leave herself. Garrus and Tali were all the way over by the stairs that led up to this area, and two asari matrons over by the other wall were staring at her curiously and whispering to one another. Amanda gave the two matrons a stern, disapproving look, one that had them staring at her in startled surprise before they hurried away. She walked over to her friends, and noticed that Shiala was standing some distance behind them evidently waiting for her. "Garrus, Tali can one of you look at that kiosk and see if we are missing any of the star charts they offer?" She had noticed the kiosk earlier and knew that one of the things Baria Frontiers specialized in was star charts.

"Certainly Shepard," Garrus replied first and head over toward the kiosk while Tali fell in behind her.

"I don't know how you did it, but I just got the revised contracts," Shiala said as she came up to the asari. "Thank you, Shepard. You've saved Zhu's Hope again. I don't think I could have..." Shiala bowed her head in despair. "Is it always like this?" the asari asked Shepard, "Yesterday's problems lingering on in some new form. Isn't anything ever just fixed?"

Shepard understood what Shiala was feeling. She had certainly felt the occasional bout of despair when thinking about the untold numbers of Reapers seeking a way into their galaxy from dark space. Yet one didn't roll over and just accept it, not when there was any chance of winning. "You've got the power to make a difference Shiala, not everyone does," she said encouragingly, as she would to one of her own people who were wavering in their courage.

"You're right; you gave us a chance by saving the colony. I can't let them down. I won't," by the end Shiala's voice had firmed with determination. She came closer, "Thank you for what you've done here Shepard. I'll keep doing what I can." Shepard nodded in response. The green hued asari drew in a breath, looked a little uncertain, "Maybe some time when I'm not organizing the colony, and you're not...doing whatever you do," her voice trailed off, the asari reached out and touched Shepard's arm for a moment before letting her hand fall back to her side with a tentative smile.

Shepard was caught completely by surprise, she hadn't expected this. "Shiala..." she paused and turned to the quarian who had come up behind her a minute or so ago. This wasn't a discussion anyone else needed to overhear. "Tali could you give us a moment please." The quarian nodded and then wandered off in Garrus' direction. Shepard turned back to Shiala. Seeing the asari's wary expression, Amanda guessed Shiala knew this wasn't going to be the response she was hoping for. "Shiala, in the next twenty-four hours I'm either going to still be in a relationship with the woman I love or doing my best to gracefully accept the ending of it because she's moved on in the two years I've been gone," she struggled to hold her voice steady while saying the last words, trying to ignore the sharp pain that rose in her at the very thought.

"Oh..." Shiala's eyes widened in dismay, and then her expression softened as she looked at the human, saw the pain Shepard couldn't quite hide, "I'm sorry Shepard."

Shepard drew in a calming breath, "It's not as if you could have known."

Shiala nodded, after a moment she said quietly, "I hope she realizes what she has in you Shepard."

Shepard closed her eyes for a moment, then opened then and nodded, "Thank you, I hope she does as well."

"Well," Shiala looked over towards the transportation center, obviously ready to escape from what had turned into an awkward situation between them, "I should get going. I need to inform the colonists that the contract has been amended and the company isn't going to insist on any more tests or charge us for those they have already done."

Shepard cleared her throat, given what had just happened, needing to ask this was somewhat uncomfortable, "Before you go can I ask you some questions about the Cipher? Specifically the Prothean memories you gave me?"

Shiala frowned, concerned, "Are you having problems with the Cipher? I remember you didn't look well after I transferred it to your mind."

"Ahh..." Shepard wasn't entirely certain how to explain this, "Not exactly... It's more like the memories... I get caught up in them, forget that I'm not that person until I snap out of it."

Shiala's green eyes widened in surprise and dismay, "I don't understand," the asari said, bewildered, "the Cipher shouldn't have..."

"It didn't," Shepard interrupted her, and Shiala frowned, confused, "The Cipher wasn't originally like this." Shepard sighed, seeing that she was going to have to explain a little bit of what had happened to her, "Shiala, I've been in on an operating table or in a medical facility for most of the past two years, I was badly injured in the attack that destroyed the Normandy. I was so badly injured that they had to do some experimental procedures on me to keep my memories from deteriorating while they worked. What I described to you appears to be a side effect of that."

"You..." Shiala stared at her shocked; it took her a few seconds before she gathered herself enough to continue, "I assumed you had been working for the Council..." Shepard shook her head. The asari stared at her for a moment longer, her expression shifting from confused to concerned, "I'm glad that you survived and are well again Shepard."

Shepard just nodded, she still wasn't sure how she felt about coming back, but that would certainly lead to a rather long discussion that she just didn't want to get into. "So, about the Cipher," she said, wanting to get the conversation back on track, "The one Prothean whose memories I tapped into...I can remember his memories now without getting trapped in them anymore. The memories still feel strange because their Prothean and not human, but I know that I'm not that person. Dr. Chakwas thinks it's because my brain maps out new pathways to the memories when I first consciously access them and from there on out my mind uses those pathways to access them, making them more like my own memories. The problem is, I've only remembered that one person's memories, a biotics teacher, Suiadan Ildroun. I haven't made another attempt to explore the Cipher memories since then and I was hoping you knew how many different Prothean memories there are."

To Shepard's dismay her description of her problem resulted in the green complexioned asari staring at her with an expression of bewilderment instead of an answer. After a few seconds, Shiala said in a confused tone, "Your experience of the Cipher seems to be very different from mine, Shepard. Most of what I remember is simply flashes of imagery, thoughts and words instead of coherent memories. Perhaps it is because of your contact with the Prothean beacon," Shiala offered an explanation and then frowned and added, "or maybe it is simply a difference between asari and human." The asari shook her head, "As for your question, I'm not certain how many Prothean memories make up the Cipher Shepard, thousands I suspect." The asari took in the human's disappointed expression, "I am sorry I do not have a better answer for you," she said looking troubled. "Unfortunately the details of the Cipher have faded from my mind; it is not as clear in my memory as it was when I transferred it to you two years ago."

Shepard's shoulders slumped, "So, no idea then," she said resignedly.

Shiala stared at her, concern evident, "I have not had much reason or..." the green hued asari fell silent and her gaze dropped to the side for a moment before she admitted, "Or desire to remember my time with the Thorian. Give me a moment Shepard." The asari fell silent, a thoughtful frown creasing her brow as she stared at nothing in particular her attention more on her memories than her surroundings. After a few minutes Shiala shook her head, a frustrated expression on her face. The asari sighed as she met Amanda's gaze, "I do not think there would be many extensive memories such as what you are describing, perhaps ten or fifteen?" she offered hesitantly.

As tentative as Shiala's answer was, at least it was something for Shepard to go on. Ten or fifteen certainly less than she had feared, but still more than she wanted to try and deal with as she had in the medical bay, just hoping to stumble across a new one and then hoping that personality wasn't violent. "Do you think that if an asari found them during a meld it would be the same as me remembering them, only with less chance of them taking over my consciousness?"

Shiala's eyes narrowed and she frowned in thought, "I'm not sure," she finally answered, "It seems like it should if your Dr. Chakwas is correct."

Knowing of Shiala's attraction she wished she didn't have to ask this, but she knew Shiala and she trusted her enough to meld with her again, "Could you do it?"

Shiala bowed her head, "If this were a normal meld yes I could, but I remember your mind," she said sounding embarrassed. "It is difficult to meld with you, and this will not be a normal meld, I would be searching for memories that you do not have access to yourself. With my unstable biotics," she looked up, met Shepard's gaze, "I would be concerned about hurting you or myself."

"That's alright," Shepard reached out touched her arm lightly in reassurance, "I wouldn't want to risk either of us for this. Could any asari do it?"

"Any who are skilled at melding and have a good level of control, yes they should be able to help you," Shiala replied, "Do you already know of another asari you can ask?"

If things worked out with Liara, then she was the obvious choice. If they didn't thought, Shepard clenched one fist, well then there was the one asari she was supposed to recruit. She wasn't sure what a Justicar was, only that they sounded like some type of asari holy warrior. "Yes I think so. I'm here to recruit two people for a mission, one is an asari, she's a Justicar named Samara."

Shiala's eyes were wide, "a Justicar," she breathed, "If she is willing to join you, then she will certainly be able to help you."

Shepard was surprised by the strength of her reaction, "She's supposed to be a powerful biotic."

"To survive Justicar training she would have to be, it is very difficult," there was no mistaking the depth of respect in Shiala's tone.

"Ah," Shepard said, a little at a loss in the face of what seemed very much like hero worship.

"Shepard," it was Garrus, "sorry to interrupt, but we're supposed to meet Miranda and Jacob shortly."

"Thank you for reminding me Garrus," she glanced down at her omni-tool and frowned, time had gotten away from her; they needed to go now Miranda's sister was due to be moved in the next two hours. She turned back to the asari, "Shiala I must go, thank you for the information and I hope Zhu's Hope continues to do well and that you find a cure for yourself and the other colonists soon."

Shiala nodded, "Thank you again Shepard for your help, and take care," she seemed honestly concerned.

Shepard gave her a reassuring smile, "I'll certainly try."

Continued...