Disclaimer: The Mass Effect universe is the property of Bioware/Electronic Arts. No infringement of these copyrights is intended as this is a not for profit fan fiction work.
Warning: None
Notes: This is inspired by the Beyonce song "Save the Hero," from the album I am...Sasha Fierce. This will be an Alternate Universe, because I often couldn't find the dialog that I actually wanted in the game.
Rating: Teen
Feedback: Always welcome, feedback is what encourages me to keep writing. Please let me know what you like and what you dislike about the story.
Revision History: 02/28/10
The battle so far had been fierce, but not as challenging as Shepard had first feared. Matriarch Benezia's asari commandos were indeed strong, well-trained biotics. Unfortunately for them however, they hadn't paid as much attention to the quality of their weapons or armor. It left them with a definite tactical weakness, at least against Shepard's squad, which was using the most advanced armor and weaponry the Commander could procure.
Liara was just as skilled and strong a biotic as any one of the commandos, and the young asari helped hold them off with biotic singularities, lifts and throws, while Shepard and Tali's superior weaponry tore through their shields and armor and left them dead or dying. Doubtless, the battle was not going quite as Benezia had expected given the arrogant manner with which the matriarch had taunted Shepard at the beginning, "Have you ever faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have."
Wave after wave of both commandos and geth came at them only to be cut down within minutes. Eventually the attacks stopped and the small team was free to concentrate on Benezia. The matriarch hadn't moved from the platform beside the rachni queen's enclosure during the entire battle, and Shepard had to wonder at her tactics. Benezia's attacks were powerful, but also easily avoided as one could see the surge of aimed biotic energy headed your direction from the platform in time evade them. Also, the asari matriarch had focused her efforts on Shepard, and the Commander was certainly experienced enough to both fight the commandos and geth as well as keep an eye out for Benezia's biotic attacks. Not the best tactical choice, the matriarch should have taken out the least experienced members of the team first and then let her commandos overrun Shepard. That would have likely been a very different battle with not as good an outcome for the small team. Shepard was thankful that Benezia hadn't thought about it.
There was another possibility of course, a more optimistic one. What if Liara's mother wasn't as unmoved by her daughter's presence as she had claimed? What if the matriarch's indoctrination wasn't entirely complete? The three of them approached the central raised platform carefully, but no attack came, instead they found Benezia kneeling, holding onto the console while biotic energy swirled around her. The asari matriarch had completely fatigued herself with her attacks.
"This is not over, Saren is unstoppable," Benezia used the console to rise to her feet, "My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear." The matriarch didn't turn around, but stared at the rachni queen in the clear tank before her as she spoke.
Watching the elder asari intently, Shepard responded, "The rachni didn't cooperate with you, why should I?" She was starting to believe that her earlier thought that Benezia's indoctrination wasn't entirely complete was actually true, otherwise why this effort to convince the both of them that he was in control?
That got a reaction from the asari, Benezia turned her face toward her, and their eyes met for a brief moment before the matriarch turned away to face the tank again. "I will not betray him." Abruptly she slumped forward, bracing herself with a hand on the console nearby. "You will... you..."
Benezia straightened, and Shepard tensed, preparing for the asari to attack again. But no attack came, instead the matriarch turned around and faced them, "You must listen," she pleaded. "Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions..." she lowered her head, her tone strained, "briefly, but the indoctrination is strong."
Shepard exhaled a breath in relief, this was Benezia, Liara's mother, and not the indoctrinated shell of the woman they had faced before, "We freed Shiala from the Thorian on Feros, she told us about Saren's indoctrination." Was that a flash of surprise? Surely Benezia must already know that they had destroyed both the geth ship and the Thorian. Perhaps it was a surprise to the matriarch that Shiala still lived.
"It is a terror to be trapped within your mind," Benezia's blue eyes, filled with pain and sorrow, met Shepard's own, "To beat upon the glass as your hands torture and murder. I was powerless, nothing but a tool for Saren. He sent me here to find the location of the Mu relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago."
Shepard frowned, "How does something like that go missing?" Relays were really, really big, how could you possibly lose one?
"Four thousand years ago a star nearby went supernova, the shock wave propelled the relay out of its system but did not damage it. Its precise vector and speed are impossible to determine. As millennium passed the nebula created by the nova enveloped the relay. It is difficult to find any cold object in interstellar space, particularly something swathed in hot dust and radiation," Benezia explained.
Shepard frowned, trying to piece together where this was going, "Someone on Noveria found it?"
The matriarch shook her head, "Two thousand years ago the rachni inhabited that region of our galaxy. They discovered the relay. The rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the relay from the Queen's mind." Benezia's eyes fell to the floor, "I was not gentle," shame and remorse filled her voice as she confessed this.
Beside Shepard, Liara made a distressed noise, and in that moment Amanda regretted that she had agreed to the young asari's request that she be a part of the team that confronted her mother. There was nothing to be done about it now though, the confession was already spoken and hung heavily in the air between mother and daughter.
Shepard finally found her wits enough to ask, "How did the rachni find it?" breaking the silence.
Benezia's eyes shifted from her daughter to the Spectre, and if Shepard wasn't imagining things the matriarch looked relieved. "They searched patiently," Benezia answered, "They are territorial creatures, driven to close any possible way to their systems."
"Why does Saren need the Mu relay?" the crux of the matter, Shepard knew it had to have something to do with finding the conduit.
"He believes it will lead him to the conduit. I would tell you more if I could," she replied apologetically, "but Saren did not share his council with me. I was merely a servant to his cause," bitterness colored the asari matriarch's last words. The defeat of a powerful woman who had once thought she could turn Saren away from his destructive path, only to be entrapped within it.
"You can still make it right," Her voice strong and sure, Shepard sought to persuade the matriarch, "give me the information."
Her persuasive skills were not needed in this instance though, "I was not myself, but I should have been stronger." Benezia strode forward as Shepard watched her alertly. "I transcribed the data to an OSD," she held out the disk, "take it please."
"Knowing the relay's coordinates is not enough," Liara finally spoke to her mother as Shepard took the disk from the matriarch and tucked it away for safekeeping, "Do you know where he planned to go from there?"
"Saren wouldn't tell me his destination. But you must find out quickly," Benezia urged, "I transmitted the coordinates to him before you arrived." The matriarch swayed and looked ill immediately after saying this, something was wrong. Benezia's eyes met Shepard's, "You have to stop...me!" Benezia's words were a plea and a command to the Spectre. She bowed her head, "I... I can't! His teeth are at my ear!" Benezia looked to be in agony, her hands raised to press against her head. She turned away, took a few steps, "Fingers on my spine!" "You should..." she cried out in pain, "you should...".
'No, no, no, fight harder...I don't want to do this,' Shepard watched in despair as Liara's mother faltered, and Saren's indoctrination fought to take the matriarch over again.
"Mother! I...Don't leave! Fight him!" Liara's voice was high, frightened and desperate as she stepped forward towards her mother.
Benezia twisted her upper body, turning back toward her daughter, "You've always made me proud, Liara."
'Oh shit!,' Shepard thought, that sounded like a goodbye to her, which meant that the part of Benezia that the asari Matriarch had kept free of Saren's control was losing the battle. Sensing what was about to happen, Shepard began moving. The one thing a biotic almost never expected was for someone to close with them; they were too used to people trying to keep their distance.
The asari matriarch turned around and it was immediately obvious that Liara's mother was gone and Saren's puppet was back. Biotics flaring, Benezia commanded "DIE!" her voice and eyes cold. Then, her eyes widening with surprise, the matriarch realized exactly how close Shepard was, but before she could react a sharp punch to the jaw knocked her to the floor.
She would keep Liara's mother sedated and unconscious for the entire trip back to the Citadel if she had to, Shepard resolved, looking down at the barely conscious asari. Surely Saren's indoctrination could be broken. Unfortunately for her plans however, several asari commandos, reserves perhaps, rushed in at that moment and began to attack them. Concentrating their weapons fire, the commandos drove the three of them away from the dazed matriarch and into cover further back along the walkways that bordered the room.
The battle that followed was quick and fierce, Benezia finally joining in with her commandos as soon as she recovered from Shepard's blow. Shepard ordered a quick retreat from the matriarch, preferring to take out her commandos first. There was still a chance that Liara's mother would be able to break the indoctrination a second time.
She had advanced forward of Liara and Tali, and had just taken out one of the two remaining commandos when out of the corner of her eye Shepard caught a glimpse of swirling biotic energy. It was Benezia, and this time, unlike the last, she was focused on her daughter. The matriarch raised her arms preparing to strike, "No!" Shepard yelled raising her pistol and firing at the older asari. Without any barrier or any protective armor to stop or slow them, the projectiles tore through Benezia's body. With an enraged yell the final commando Shepard had been hunting rushed from hiding, firing wildly at Shepard. A few shots dropped the attacking asari, and as soon as the commando fell, Shepard ran, along with Tali and Liara, toward the fallen matriarch. She came to a skidding stop a few feet away from Benezia, looking down at the wounded asari who was slumped on the floor warily, uncertain whether or not the matriarch would continue to attack.
Benezia looked up at her approach, her face marked with pain from her wounds, "I cannot go on. You will have to stop him Shepard."
That was all the proof Shepard needed that Benezia had broken free of the indoctrination again, she dropped to her knees beside the matriarch and brought up her omni-tool to scan her. The matriarch's wounds were serious, she was losing blood rapidly, but with immediate first aid and some luck getting back to Noveria quickly they might not be fatal. "Hold on! We've got medi-gel, we can..."
"No!" Benezia commanded, her tone demanding instant obedience. Shepard stopped, seeing for the first time why Benezia had held so much authority among her people, that had been the voice of a leader. "He is still in my mind," the matriarch explained. "I am not entirely myself. I never will be again," Benezia's voice was colored with a mix of emotions, regret, grief, resignation.
"Mother!" Liara knelt down beside her mother, reaching out to her, helping her lean back. Shepard scooted around immediately, offering herself as a backrest for the wounded asari, cradling Benezia against her chest, the matriarch's head resting in the crook of her arm.
Benezia reached out to her daughter, her fingers grazing Liara's cheek, "Good night Little Wing. I will see you again with the dawn," the matriarch's voice was weak, she was fading fast. Benezia's gaze went unfocused, and Amanda's heart clenched in new and remembered grief, she knew what this meant. "No light, they always said there would be a..." the confused whisper tailed off with a weak gasp, it was Benezia's last breath. Her body slumped and Amanda held the dead.
Blood spread slowly across the floor, pooling underneath her where she knelt. Amanda stared at it fighting off memory and seeking tendrils of remembered horror; it was like her mother's death all over again. Fighting it off, Amanda bowed her head and fought back her own tears even as Liara quietly wept for her mother.
Shepard woke, it took her a moment for her to realize she wasn't on Noveria, wasn't back in the labs fighting Liara's mother, but was aboard the new Normandy. In the darkness broken only on by the stars sparking like diamonds through the window above her, she reached up, touched her face, felt the wetness of tears there.
Except for their unease, and in the turian councilor's case outright disapproval, at her choice to free the rachni queen, the council had labeled the mission a success. They were wrong. Except for freeing the rachni queen and destroying her insane children it had been a failure all around.
There was nothing right about being forced to kill those who were not in control of their thoughts or actions, or being forced to kill the mother of the woman she was falling deeper in love with everyday. There was nothing right about Liara having to watch the light fade from her mother's eyes, or hear the fear and despair in Benezia's voice as everything went dark instead of there being some promised light as the matriarch had expected.
Though Liara had cherished the words her mother had spoken, Shepard also knew that Liara was haunted by what had happened on Noveria. Haunted by her mother's death, of watching her mother's life fade, of watching as Benezia's eyes went dull and sightless. As always when she thought about this Amanda felt helpless and angry at how everything had played out. Despite her best efforts she had failed, she hadn't ever wanted Liara to have that type of memory. She knew only too well how it left wounds within your soul that never fully healed.
Goddess, but she missed Liara. She missed just being able to visit and quietly watch the archeologist as the asari bent over her studies oblivious to the world. They had taken so few moments to be alone together, moments stolen from her duties as Spectre and Commander. Amanda regretted that now, that the need to keep their relationship low key onboard a military vessel had almost made it seem as if they were sneaking around to be together.
Enough was enough, of the initial batch of four dossiers she had two left. As soon as she either succeeded or failed in recruiting them, they would take a short supply run to the Citadel and she would pick up some star charts, ones that included the information for Illium.
Purgatory
Miranda was a more than competent administrator and a decent leader so long as everyone already acknowledged her right to lead and followed her orders perfectly. However, actual life was seldom like that, people weren't mechs. They didn't follow orders perfectly and they instinctively evaluated you, looking for a reason to follow you, and if they didn't find it part of them would always mistrust and doubt your decisions. When you led people into situations that could easily get them killed, it was essential that you had the trust of that deep down animal part of themselves. That part of them had to be certain that obeying your orders, even when their instincts were screaming at them that there was a good chance of dying if they did, was actually their best chance of survival. Your people had to be able to trust in you, and not just in your tactical ability.
That was where Miranda failed spectacularly, and she didn't even seem to understand that she needed to instill that type of trust in the people she led. It was a rather glaring weakness in the woman, and Shepard had to wonder why the Illusive Man had never addressed it and what projects Miranda had lead in the past that she was still blind to the need for it. It was also something she needed to address soon, and the only reason she hadn't yet was because she didn't feel as if Miranda was ready to listen to her. The Cerberus operative didn't trust her, and Shepard couldn't blame her, because Shepard would indeed betray Cerberus the first opportunity she got to do so that wouldn't jeopardize the mission. And Miranda was more loyal right now to Cerberus than she was to Shepard, which Shepard mused was perhaps something she needed to work upon.
Jack's response pulled her sharply out of her thoughts, "Tell the Cerberus cheerleader to back off Shepard." Amanda had to fight back the urge to smile at that, it was so true. Jack continued, "I'm here because of our deal."
"Miranda will let you into the system," Shepard responded, keeping her manner calm and controlled. "Let me know what you find," a note of sincerity added to that, and she wasn't acting, she was curious to find out exactly why Jack hated Cerberus so much.
"Hear that precious," Jack taunted Miranda, "We're going to be friends." Her tone shifted to one more that was more serious and threatening, "You, me, and every embarrassing little secret." The two women stared at one another, each one making it obvious they didn't like the other one bit. This was going to be a problem and a headache, Shepard knew, fighting back the urge to snap angrily at the both of them for falling into behavior that was more suited to two teenagers posturing at each other. "I'll be reading in the hold, or somewhere in the bottom," Jack turned and walked toward the door, "I don't like a lot of through traffic, keep your people off me." The woman added without looking back at either of them.
Shepard watched as Jack strode out of the briefing room, her walk cocky as she had gotten what she wanted. Access to the files Cerberus had on her. She turned to the angry woman standing across from her.
Miranda was definitely upset, "You shouldn't have given her those files," the black haired woman said tersely.
It was time to get her second in command to think instead of merely reacting to Jack. "You do realize that the Illusive Man couldn't have expected us to pick her up and her just agree to work with us because he paid for her to be released right?" Shepard pointed out, "Especially given her very antagonistic attitude toward Cerberus."
Miranda frowned at her, her gaze becoming less angry and more thoughtful. "You think he knew she would ask for the information?" She sounded doubtful.
Shepard shrugged, "I'm just saying he had to have known we would have to give her a reason to work with us, and it would have to be something she wanted badly enough." She paused a moment for that to sink in, "He strikes me as the type of person who thinks several moves ahead, and he did give us the dossier on her."
It sounded like the perfect note upon which to leave the conversation, so that's exactly what she did, she turned and left the room. The longer she worked with him the more certain Shepard was that Illusive Man was a master manipulator, and Miranda needed to open up her eyes and realize this as well.
And as for thinking instead of reacting, maybe it was time to take her own advice. Shepard was certain that he was behind the reaction she had gotten from Anderson and the Council. She knew the best way to keep control of a battle was to keep the enemy off balance, and she was definitely off balance right now without her usual support structure and surrounded by people she couldn't trust.
Her light grey eyes narrowed, there had to be some way to reclaim control of her own fate no matter the steps the Illusive Man had taken from behind the scenes and doubtless before she had ever been wakened to prevent her from being anything but his puppet. He had known that she would accept the responsibility for stopping the Collector attacks, she couldn't do anything else and remain true to herself, and he was using that to control her. She was absolutely certain of it. The Illusive Man reminded her of a quote from Sun Tzu, 'Be extremely subtle to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of your opponent's fate.'
He was certainly the director of hers right now, and she couldn't immediately see a way to wrestle control back from him. She would find a way though, she just had to keep looking for it. It was after all what she was good at, figuring out a way to win where others thought the battle already lost. In the meantime she would be patient, and hold in mind another quote from Sun Tzu, 'Thus it is in war the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has already been won, whereas he who is destined for defeat fights first and only afterward looks for victory.'
Doubtless the Illusive Man knew that one as well. She would have to be cautious in any move she made, and things were not helped by the fact that she was not only being monitored by Lawson and Yeoman Chambers, but by the ship's AI who ran the internal surveillance equipment and regularly sent reports back to the Illusive Man on what was occurring inside the Normandy.