~ The Quest and Beyond ~
by Ladybird


Disclaimers

The Characters: Xena and Gabrielle belong to RenPic/Universal/MCA. I am merely borrowing the Gals (and others) for a short romp in fanfictiondom.

Rating: R15+

Genre: Fantasy fiction/Romance.

Timing: Immediately after the episodes 'The Quest' in Season 2.

Length: approximately 12 pages in Word at font size 14.


The Amazon village - celebrations.

The young queen shifted in her seat, trying to find a level of both physical and emotional comfort with her reaffirmed position as leader of the Amazon Nation. What had possessed her, Gabrielle of Potadeia, self ascribed bard, to challenge Valasca, Amazon warrior of royal lineage. For a title she did not even want.

A heavy sigh escaped the Bard's lungs. Gabrielle knew the answer. She cared for these women and their plight and she'd needed the fellowship of friends such as Ephiny, the Amazon Regent, to ground her after Xena's death.

A shiver ran up Gabrielle's back and she felt suddenly cold at the thought of Xena's passing. How many times had she relived that moment in her dreams. Her nightmares.

In truth it still haunted her even though the now living, breathing Warrior Princess sat close to her on the dais. It all seemed so unreal, like she was still in a dream and soon reality would come crashing in.

"Hey."

Gabrielle was shaken from her musings. The young woman turned toward her friend's deep tones and found herself almost nose to nose with the Warrior Princess. The Bard's green eyes found the deep blue of the Warrior's, now fixed on her with concern.

"You holding up alright?" the Warrior enquired with concern.

Gabrielle breathed in Xena's scent, a pleasant mix of soap, leather and ale. "Yeah. You?" Having the Warrior so close was setting her on edge, their recent experiences still too raw for the young woman.

The Bard watched her tall, dark friend scan the crowd of Amazon's celebrating their victory over Valasca's attempt to usurp the throne and send the Amazon Nation backwards by centuries.

"It's good to be here."

Startling blue eyes met her own again as the words were spoken, the underlying message clear and Gabrielle felt her face become warm. The Bard squirmed in her seat, not ready to address all the emotions raging through her. Not ready to explore everything that was revealed in that realm of spirit where she and Xena had briefly met after what seemed like an eternity of living alone with her grief.

"You look exhausted. Bedtime for Bards?" Xena smiled lobsidely.

Unable to help herself, Gabrielle smiled back. "Quittime for Queen's." It was good to hear that deep, amused chuckle from the Warrior and to look into the smiling eyes. "How about you?"

"Nah. I've kinda had enough of lying down for a while."

Gabrielle's smile widened at the quirky comment. It was their usual way of dealing with difficult emotions. For now it would have to do but at some point they would need to talk about what happened. To face the truth they had effectively buried under the guise of deep friendship.

"Come on Your Worship. I'll escort you to your Royal Hut." Xena stood and reached out towards her young friend.

Gabrielle rolled her eyes. "Oh pu-leeze." The Bard slid her hand into the proffered larger one and was hauled unceremoniously to her feet. She yelped when Xena simply swept her up in strong arms and leapt from the dais onto firm ground below. "Ooofph. Hey, put me down!"

Gabrielle found her backside suddenly well acquainted with that firm ground. She glared up at the smirking Warrior who stood over her with hands on hips.

"Just complying with queenly commands," Xena said innocently as she helped the Bard to her feet.

"Yeah right." Gabrielle swatted at Xena's 'helping hands' and then headed with determined strides for her hut, feigning irritation.

The tall Warrior caught up with her a moment later. "Um, sorry about that. Just a bit over energized tonight I guess."

Gabrielle smiled up at her, letting her friend know she was only messing with her. "New lease on life huh."

Xena chuckled. "Mmm, something like that."

They walked in verbal silence then, slowly leaving the cacophony of the celebrations behind. Only a faint sound of drums and ululations reached them as they approached the Queen's hut. Awkwardness descended over Gabrielle as she came to a stop by the door.

"Um, enjoy your night out there in the woods." Gabrielle didn't miss the surprise on Xena's face. The bard knew Xena would not rejoin the party but head for the silent comfort of the woods. The Warrior disliked crowds intensely and after being caged in the spirit realm for so long, Gabrielle understood how much Xena needed some time to reacquaint herself with the real world.

"I will." Xena lingered. "Rest well Gabrielle."

A stab of fear took hold of the Bard and she grabbed the Warrior's hand convulsively and turned her face up to capture blue depths. "Xena. Please be careful." She felt Xena squeeze her hand comfortingly. The tall woman gazed down at her, conveying clearly what was in her heart.

"God's, how you look at me," the Bard mused. "Do I wear that same look when I gaze at you?"

The Bard had her answer a moment later, when her lips were gently covered by those of the Warrior; the kiss soft and warm and intense. Gabrielle lost herself in the moment, responding to the Warrior's gentle movements with a breathless eagerness that surprised and confused her all at once.

Then it was over.

"I'll be close by Gabrielle if you need me," the Xena reassured her in a raw, slightly breathless voice.

Gabrielle's eyes fluttered open and she was engulfed in blue at very close quarters. It was reassuring to open her eyes and see the Warrior Princess this time and not Autolycus. All she could do was nod dumbly, her voice lost under the scrutiny of the woman that could turn her whole being inside out with a single kiss.

A quick brushing of lips and then Xena was gone, leaving the Bard to lean heavily against the door until her brain engaged enough to instruct her legs to move. She was still in that predicament when Ephiny strolled up.

"Gabrielle?"

"Huh." Gabrielle tried hard to focus on her blonde, curly-haired friend.

Ephiny gazed around as if looking for whatever Gabrielle seemed to be staring at. "What's up? Where's Xena? I though I saw you heading out this way together."

"Uh, yeah. She's spending the night out there somewhere." Gabrielle indicated the general direction of the woods beyond the Queen's hut. The Bard could see the thousands of questions written on her friend's face. Questions she was not remotely ready to answer, unable to get a handle on it all herself. She needed some time to think and come to terms with this new facet of her relationship with Xena.

"I was hoping to speak with you both but it can wait for the morning."

Gabrielle nodded at the Amazon Regent without saying a word, still lost in her own thoughts.

"I'll see you tomorrow Gabrielle."

The Bard came back to Earth and gave her good friend a grateful smile for understanding without the necessity for words. On impulse she hugged her close for a moment. "Thanks Eph. It will be good to get some time with you. Its been too long." Gabrielle disengaged from the embrace and looked up into smiling hazel eyes. "I've missed you."

The Amazon Regent smiled for real at her young friend. "Right back at ya."

Gabrielle couldn't help but grin back at her friend. The similarities between Ephiny and Xena were stark at times. They possessed that same warrior reticence that both frustrated and amused the young Bard.

"Sleep well Gabrielle."

"'Night Eph." When the Amazon disappeared into the gloom of the night, the Bard entered her quiet quarters. She quickly removed the royal garb, glad to be out of the skimpy bindings that left minimal to the imagination. It was a warm night and Gabrielle simply collapsed on the large bed, not bothering with a shift.

A candle mark passed and the Bard turned over yet again in an attempt to find sleep. It continued to elude her and for the hundredth time, Gabrielle wished her brain would stop its incessant spinning on matters she could do nothing about at this particular moment. The young Bard relived what she and Xena shared in the past days. It was one thing to meet up with the Warrior in that strange limbo and to have Xena kiss her with such overwhelming love, and quite another to share her own body with the Warrior's spirit self. The intimacy of that union was staggering and Gabrielle was still deciphering the residual effects of a shared psyche.

In those moments they came to know each other intimately and completely. They shared thoughts and feelings and memories. Gabrielle still struggled to separate out Xena from herself but one thing was very clear; they could no longer deny what they meant to each other. There was no fear in the kiss they shared at the Queen's door, Gabrielle's awkwardness simply stemmed from her lack of experience with romantic matters. Her fleeting infatuations over the last two years were nothing more than experimentations into the unknown for the young woman. Until she had shared her body with Xena's spirit self, she could not have admitted to being attracted to the Warrior in a romantic way. Now it seemed so obvious to her. The clandestine glances when she thought the Warrior was involved in daily tasks, the stabbing internal feelings when Xena hooked up with someone in an intimate way. The need she felt for increasing physical contact with her dark friend. So obvious.

Had she been more self aware and truthful with herself, Gabrielle would never have married Perdicus. She now knew intimately how much pain that had caused Xena and tears flowed as she fully realized the poor choice she had made in her union with her young love from a time long past. It hadn't felt right at the time but Gabrielle now knew how easy it was to fool oneself. They had all lost so much.

Gabrielle's mind continued to swirl, an odd mix of confusion and clarity. Several candle marks passed before the young Bard finally fell into a restless, exhausted sleep.







Amazon Village - evening



The sound of running water slowly brought the Bard to semi-consciousness, her body becoming acutely aware of the need to relieve herself. Disoriented, not fully awake, she stumbled and grumbled her way across the hut to the washroom.

Gabrielle stopped dead as she entered and stared at her freshly bathed, shift-clad warrior friend smiling at her from her perch on the edge of the bath. Wakefulness hit with a rush and Gabrielle squawked and darted back out to the main room to find a robe. She was just pulling the fabric in place when the tall Warrior came in after her looking a little sheepish.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you. I needed a bath and didn't want to face the common bathing areas. Thought you might enjoy one after sleeping the day away." A teasing smile played around the Warrior's mouth.

"Uh. Right. That sounds good." A thought suddenly came to Gabrielle. "Um. How long was I out for?"

"The evening meal has been and gone."

The Bard let out a groan of embarrassment. "I suppose you've been up since the crack of dawn?"

"Actually, I never did get any sleep."

"Oh."

Gabrielle felt Xena's intent gaze but couldn't seem to look her in the eye.

"I checked on you a few times during the day. You were pretty out of it, so I let you sleep."

Gabrielle groaned inwardly realizing that she had been sprawled buck-naked across the bed and that Xena must have caught an eyeful of Bardly flesh. "Um. Thanks."

"I saved you some food too. Thought you'd undoubtedly be ravenous by now if you be true to form." That teasing smile was back again.

Gabrielle found herself smiling despite her embarrassment on oh so many levels at that moment. "I might be able to force down a little something."

Xena's chuckle eased her own tension somewhat.

"Um. Are you joining me for some dinner?" Gabrielle finally managed to look into the deep blue of Xena's eyes for a full heartbeat before she had to avert her gaze again, shyness overcoming her.

"I'd like that Gabrielle." Xena's tone had a depth of meaning that made the Bard swallowed convulsively.

Gabrielle found her voice with difficulty. "I'll um go and have that bath then." Even to her own ears her voice sounded an octave or two higher than normal. Her feet carried her quickly into the washroom and she closed the door behind her. "God's, how am I going to survive through dinner. I've gotta get a grip. Come on Gabrielle, its just Xena remember, the same person you've spent nearly every day with for the last two years." A little inner voice reminded Gabrielle of something poignant - that was Xena, your friend, not Xena your?

The Bard's brain shut down for several heart beats.

"Just say it Gabrielle," the Bard chided herself. Long moments passed while she leaned against the washroom door and plucked up her courage. "Lover," she whispered into the empty room.







Now somewhat refreshed after a long sleep, Gabrielle's thinking processes were functioning more rationally and she utilized her time in the bath to come to terms with the change in her relationship with Xena. It wasn't as difficult as she imagined it to be. She'd been melded with Xena in the most intimate way possible and seeing things clearly now, there was no need for doubt or fear or awkwardness. There was nothing hidden anymore, whether intentional or otherwise. She loved Xena and couldn't even comprehend life without the strong woman at her side. Just the thought of it took her breath away, recent events still very raw. Gabrielle understood now her intense grief when the warrior was taken from her. Xena completed her somehow.

The last rays of the evening light were almost gone when the Bard stepped back out into the main room to find Xena sitting quietly in a comfortable chair, working on some of Argo's tack.

Gabrielle double knotted the tie on her robe, taking in the lit candles and table decked with food items. "You've been busy."

Xena used her teeth to break the thread she'd been using to stitch the pieces of leather together. "Ahuh. You ready for some dinner?"

Gabrielle took a moment to think about that and decided she was exceedingly hungry. It was an alien sensation after all the weeks of lost appetite she experienced while journeying towards Amphipolis with Xena's body. She'd been surprised at her leanness when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, her skin drawn tightly over bone. "I'm starving."

The Warrior laughed softly at the Bard's enthusiasm, but not before Gabrielle caught the concerned look quickly covered up. Obviously Xena was well aware of the state of her ravaged body. "Oh yeah Gabrielle. She sure got an eyeful earlier." Gabrielle felt her face flush again at the knowledge that Xena had been privy to her naked abandon in sleep.

Xena stood fluidly and held her hand out for the Bard. Gabrielle smiled at the gallant gesture and moved forward to place her small hand in the much larger one, allowing herself to be escorted and seated at the table.

It was the longest they had spent solely in each other's company since Xena's return to the living world and Gabrielle relished every moment. It was a time to reacquaint herself with the Warrior and she kept the conversation to lighter matters that made Xena smile and chuckle often. The moon was high when they finally made a move to clear the remains of their dinner.

As the evening neared its end, Gabrielle felt an inner tension build. The last thing she wanted was for Xena to leave. The Bard never wanted to spend another night without the Warrior at her side. Gabrielle put the last dish aside and turned quickly to engulf Xena in a fierce embrace, her face buried in the tall woman's neck. The small Bard sighed when she felt strong arms engulf her and hold her tight, her heart doing double time at the unexpected intense emotions overtaking her.

"God's Xena, I love you." Gabrielle felt as if she couldn't breath. "Please stay with me tonight. Every night. I don't think I could stand losing you again?"

Heaving sobs wracked her body and she collapsed against the strong, warm body of her lover.

"Hey Gabrielle, it's okay. Not going anywhere. Love you so much."

It took a long time of absorbing the comforting embrace and loving words for the Bard to come back from her grief, feeling relief for the first time since Xena died in her arms, so many weeks ago.

The Bard felt Xena disengaged a little, and found her face tilted up by a strong hand so Xena could make eye contact with her "Okay now Love?"

The Bard' eyes closed at the term of endearment and she indulgently allowed her shattered soul to absorb it and heal a little. "God's," she smiled shyly. The sensation of Xena's hand mapping her face was making her knees go weak. The intensity of vibrant blue eyes taking in every nuance of her expressions was causing her heart to pound with a disjointed tempo. She needed a moment suddenly and removed herself from the Warrior's embrace gently.

"I'll be back in just a moment," she reassured, not wanting Xena to think she was pulling away emotionally. Gabrielle made her way to the washroom on hurried steps, leaving the door open. After blowing her nose and cleaning her face, she felt able to return to her friend. Her lover.

She found Xena on her return to the main living room, crouched down, rummaging through their packs. Gabrielle just stood there watching the light cast by the candle flames flicker across the Warrior's striking features. The Bard would never tire of watching this woman. That she could do so openly now was something new for her and she took a moment to get comfortable with the idea. When Xena's face turned toward her, the Bard didn't quickly look away, she didn't hide the fact that she was looking this woman over and she thoroughly took in every detail as Xena fluidly stood up. By the time she boldly reached Xena's eyes with her own, they were a few shades darker blue than usual.

Gabrielle starred in wonder. Had she caused that? There was no mistaking what the Warrior's body language conveyed and Gabrielle's body responded in kind, moving her forward to stand scant lengths from the taller woman. Gabrielle's eyes never left those blue depths on her journey.

No words were necessary, the depth of feeling that they had for each other was known by them both in the most intimate way possible. There was no doubt, no fear. Just a raw need for each other that left them both breathless.

Gabrielle reached up, running her hand along the Warrior's high cheekbone before plunging her fingers into dark hair. There was no mistaking her intent and the Warrior leaned down, her hands coming up to cup either side of the Bard's face. They stayed like that for a moment breathing in each other's air, eyes locked, until Gabrielle's gaze moved lower, her mouth watering at the sight of soft, full lips at such close range.

She heard a sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan and was about to naively ask Xena what was wrong, when she was effectively silenced by the Warrior's lips on her own. First her lower lip was gently taken by the Warrior's soft lips, then her upper and lower again. Her whole body quivered with need, Xena's gentle caresses driving her to a rapid frenzy. Her body overtaken by pure instinct, the bard opened herself to the Warrior when Xena's mouth fully covered her own and Gabrielle plundered the new treasurers with her tongue, swallowing the Warrior's sounds of raw pleasure. They broke apart for air, both breathing hard.

"God's, Gabrie?"

The Bard was all carnal need, her mouth found Xena's again in long moments of arrant passion rendering her strong lover weak kneed and gasping. Somewhere, far off in the rational part of her mind, Gabrielle was shocked at her response and could not reconcile her normal self with this creature driven by instinct and primal need.

Then the small Bard felt the ties of her robe loosen and the fabric completely removed from her body to pool on the floor at her feet. The strong hands that roamed her body set every nerve ending on full alert. Xena's touch drove her to the realm of pure sensation, the young Bard's being exploding with her own need to touch, to taste. Passion so overpowering it overwhelmed her soul in a mix of ecstasy and unmet need.

Standing naked and aroused before the tall Warrior was incredibly erotic and all Gabrielle wanted at that moment was to have Xena's naked body cover her own. To that end she managed to make herself heard between deep, exploring oral exchanges, not willing to be separated from that wonderful mouth long enough to form a complete sentence.

The Bard gasped at the loss of contact when her tall lover disengaged from their intimate embrace and led her to the bed, settling the Bard on the surface before slowly removing the unwanted shift. Gabrielle's eyes roamed the muscular body wantonly before reaching for the Warrior and pulling her onto the bed to lie alongside her own heated body.

With single-minded intent, Gabrielle made her wishes clear and a moment later the Bard had what she wanted, the firm weight of her lover's naked body covering her own. It was at that point that Gabrielle gave her body total control.

Much later, with sensibilities restored, the young Bard had to admit to an inability to remember details. All she remembered was her soul melding with Xena's as their bodies moved together rhythmically in unerring knowledge of the other's needs. Nothing she could put into words would even come close to expressing their first night together as lovers. Like phantom pain when a limb is severed, she could still feel Xena's hands and mouth caressing her body. She could taste and smell the warrior on herself, mingled with her own scents. The intense joy she experienced in pleasuring Xena made her head reel and her face reddened a little as she recalled her actions. Her whole being still thrummed with the intensity of their love making as she lay wrapped securely in Xena's embrace, watching as a new dawn came into being.

The first rays of sun were just streaming in through the window when the Bard fell back into slumber from sheer exhaustion, a small smile lingering on her lips.

The End (for now)

Constructive feedback to: ladybird@ladybirdleaf.com




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