DISCLAIMER: See Part 1.
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The situation was simple enough. Eve, banned from Amazon lands on pain of death for her crimes as Livia, Champion of Rome, had gone to the Amazons on some kind of mission from the new Roman emperor, and was seized on the orders of Queen Varia. Varia's terse letter, addressed to both Xena and Gabrielle, stated that Eve's trial was being postponed until their arrival -- to let Gabrielle participate in the meeting of the council and cast a vote, and to allow Xena to attend in recognition of the services she had rendered the Amazons.

"There's more." Xena looked up from the scroll and turned to Ares, who stood slouching by the wall. "Varia says that if we know where you are, we should bring you as a witness at Eve's trial."

He stared back at her, still in the same casual posture.

"Okay," he said slowly.

Gabrielle shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. She was still shaken by everything that had happened that morning, and trying to sort out her jumbled but discomfiting memories of the night before. And now, this.

"What was Eve thinking?" she said, mainly because she had to say something.

Xena gave her a hard look.

"Maybe she was thinking that if she risked her life to bring peace to the Amazons, she would make up for some of what she did before." Her eyelids quivered and her voice fell to a near-whisper. "Maybe she was thinking that she deserved to die."

She was silent, and it seemed that the small room, crowded enough with three people in it, was suddenly teeming with ghosts.

Xena rolled up the scroll and looked at Ares again.

"What do you know about this?"

"About what?"

"Eve -- Livia's raids on the Amazons."

Ares lowered his eyes and mumbled something.

"What was that?"

He looked up. "It was my idea. You know that, don't you. You just wanted to make me say it."

Xena didn't seem too shocked, yet her voice was choked when she finally asked, "Why?"

He shrugged. "I thought it would be fun to have Livia go up against the Amazons."

"Fun," Xena said heavily.

Ares uncoiled himself from the wall and stood up straight, scowling.

"I wanted a good fight."

The sudden reminder that she was looking at the God of War made Gabrielle shiver, and then stiffen with resentment.

"You mean, you wanted slaughter," she said.

Ares glared at her as if she were an intruder.

"I didn't think it would be a slaughter." He spoke slowly and deliberately. "Maybe I overestimated your Amazons. I didn't expect them to fold like a bunch of schoolgirls."

Xena's mouth curled downward. For a moment Gabrielle felt absurdly elated. She and Xena, united against Ares. That felt right. That felt ... good.

Ares turned back to Xena. "Look, if you expect me to apologize for what I am..." He stopped for a moment, and some of the cockiness seemed to fade from his face and his voice. "For what I was... What did you expect me to do when you were gone? Take up chicken farming as a hobby?"

"How about stay away from my daughter?"

Ares lowered his head, his shoulders sagging a little. Gabrielle felt disgusted with herself. Xena's daughter, their daughter, was in mortal peril, and she was gloating because Xena was angry at Ares.

"I told you," he said, "I didn't know..."

"Listen," Gabrielle said, a little too loudly, "we have to think about how to get Eve out of -- "

"And if you had known?" Xena cut in.

Ares straightened up again, meeting Xena's stare with a kind of desperate defiance.

"What, you're going to blame me for corrupting your baby? I didn't make her who she was, Xena. How do you think she got my attention? The first time I saw her was when she was leading the Roman troops in Gaul, the day she got that scar on her back. Let me tell you" -- he sneered crookedly -- "it was quite a number she did on those Gauls ... three villages wiped out in one day. And she was just twenty years old then."

It hurt even to look at Xena's face.

"And you just loved it, didn't you," she said, her voice hard and brittle.

"I was the God of War. You told me once that I was right for the job, remember?"

"I suppose you also told my daughter to sell the Amazons she had captured into slavery. All in a day's work, huh?"

"I told her that the Amazons would make excellent gladiators -- that if she brought such fighters back to Rome for the gladiatorial colleges, it would be great for her reputation. But don't blame it all on me, Xena. I wasn't the one who told your little girl how to dispose of damaged goods. That was all her."

"Damaged goods..." Xena's voice was a faint echo of itself.

"Yeah. The ones whose injuries were so bad they wouldn't be any good in the arena."

Stop it, Gabrielle wanted to scream, can't you see you're tearing her apart? But she had the bizarre feeling that they wouldn't hear her, as if she were watching them through an invisible yet solid wall.

"She threw them overboard," Ares spat out. "She was taking them back to Rome by boat, and she gave the orders. They still had their shackles -- "

"All right," Xena said, her voice drained of anger, drained of life. She sat down on the bed next to Gabrielle. After a moment Gabrielle drew an arm around her shoulder, and Xena leaned against her a little. Ares looked confused.

"Xena..." he started, and trailed off.

Finally, Xena sat up.

"Does Varia know about this?" She looked as neutral and businesslike as she sounded.

He shrugged. "How do I know?"

Xena nodded thoughtfully, and then said, "We'll leave today -- if we make good time, it shouldn't take us more than a week to get there." She glanced at Ares. "You should stay here."

"Stay here? What are you talking about?"

"It's for your safety. I know Varia. She's ambitious. She'd like nothing more than to make her reputation by bringing down the God of War." She snorted and shook her head. "Even the former God of War."

"And you think I'm going to turn tail and run?"

"Ares, this isn't about your pride."

"Obviously, you don't think I have any," he shot back. "You can't keep me from going."

"I'm asking you not to go."

"I said I'm going."

Xena gave him a grim look. "Do you want me to promise that I ... we'll come back for you?"

Come back ... Gabrielle felt the words sink in like lead weights.

"You think that's the only reason I want to go? That I'm scared you'll dump me? I told you, I'm not going to hide from Varia."

"Look, can we just stop bickering?" Gabrielle snapped. Listening to this would be bad enough anywhere; here in this small, stuffy room, it was almost unbearable.

"Fine," Xena muttered through clenched teeth. "Do whatever you want. We're leaving right after breakfast."

Over the next few days, they rode a lot, slept and ate little, and spoke even less.

Several times on that journey, Ares wondered if he was going mad as his emotions plunged him by turns into fire and ice: scalding hot anger, the coldness of the distance between himself and Xena, the feverish chill of the fear that he had lost her.

At first, his anger was directed mostly at Xena. What did she want from him? He had already given up being a god for her; did she expect him to give up being himself as well, to beg forgiveness for being the God of War? He had told her from the start that he didn't know Livia was Eve, had tried to explain himself, and it still wasn't enough. What had he done, really? He had spotted a young woman brave enough, skilled enough, ruthless enough to be his special warrior ?- took her under his wing and to his bed -- nothing he hadn't done many times before.

Except that sometimes, when he thought about it, it wasn't anger but something else burning inside him. He remembered how Xena looked when he told her those things about Livia, her face unflinching, the way it would be if she were being whipped. There was another time -- another lifetime, it seemed -- when he had seen that look on her face. She stood very still looking at rows of crosses -- her daughter's bloody harvest -- and he taunted her about it, wanting her to hurt as he was hurting, unerringly hitting the spot where it hurt the worst: the fear that she had an evil inside her which she had passed on to her child. She's my daughter, you sick bastard. -- Why do you think it was so easy to turn her?

He had other memories, too, while riding by her side or trying to get comfortable in his bedroll at night: memories of warm smiles and tender looks, of the feather-soft touch of her hands on his face, of her delight in the pleasure they gave each other. Thinking about that made it worse. After all the pain he had caused her, she had given him a chance, and so much else… and he had hurt her again, hurt her so cruelly, for no reason at all, except that her anger frightened him and he struck back.

He had to talk to her, he knew that; only, of course they were never alone. It was bad enough that Gabrielle was always there -- he was used to it -- but a couple of times, he caught her staring at him and blushing, and found himself looking away too quickly. That was the last thing he needed right now, to let her get to him.

Finally, waking up at daybreak one morning, he saw that Xena wasn't in her bedroll; he looked around in the bluish-gray haze of dawn and saw her slipping into her tunic at the edge of the small stream by which they were camping. He got up, stiff and achy all over -- he had fallen asleep in his leathers the night before, exhausted from a full day of riding -- and hobbled toward her. She stood up straight and looked at him, her face rigid.

Ares knelt down, splashed some water on his face and neck and swirled it around in his mouth; it was wretchedly cold but at least it snapped him into full consciousness. He rose and forced himself to look at Xena. He wasn't sure if the chill he felt was from the water or from being near her.

After a few moments she turned away and moved to walk back to the campsite.

"Wait," he said hoarsely.

"What?"

"I -- " he paused to clear his throat. He could barely hear himself speak over the pounding in his ears. "I guess I really messed up, huh?"

Xena stared at him thoughtfully; then, the corners of her mouth curved up a little.

"Is that your way of telling me you're sorry?"

"Uh-huh." He fidgeted, tugging at his vest. "Those things I said -- I -- "

She sighed. "Were they -- true?"

"Yeah … they were."

"Then why should you be sorry," she said flatly. There was no anger in her voice this time, just a dull pain.

"Xena. It wasn't your fault. I'm -- dammit -- " He fumbled for words, and as she watched him, her eyes seemed to soften. "I'm … I'm sorry for -- everything, okay? Sorry about being such a -- "

" -- bastard?"

He glanced at her quickly -- was she angry again? -- and saw that almost-smile coming back.

"Uh … yeah. Look -- I'm doing the best I can here -- okay?"

Xena shook her head, a what am I going to do with you kind of headshake, and then reached out and stroked his cheek. Her hand was cold from the water but her touch still made him feel warm, and he breathed easier. He put his hand over hers, then slowly turned his head, closing his eyes, pressing his face into her slightly damp palm.

"Okay," she whispered.

They stood like this for a while, until she gently pulled her hand back, smoothing his hair, and said again, "Okay...."

His heart skipped a beat and his mouth was dry. Still, he managed to smile, and so did she; at least it was the closest to a smile that he had seen on her face since the morning she had received Varia's message. Then she squeezed his arm and said, "Come on. Let's go gather some firewood."

As always, the Amazon patrol appeared out of nowhere; or rather, the women who swooped down on the narrow forest path seemed to have been born of the trees themselves, as if the thick dark foliage had woven itself into four slender, muscular shapes.

After an uncomfortably long moment, a brown-haired, olive-skinned woman who looked vaguely familiar said, "Queen Gabrielle," bowing her head. The women lowered their spears.

Gabrielle had stayed ahead of her two companions ever since they had entered Amazon lands. For hours now, they had been riding through these woods, where even the day was dusky and the damp smell of mushrooms hung in the air; the path, overgrown and strewn with skeletal branches, was barely wide enough for a single rider.

"Xena," the woman said with a slight nod, then paused as her eyes lingered on Ares, and finally looked back to Gabrielle. "Greetings, Queen Gabrielle. We'll take you to Varia."

As they moved on at a slow trot, their escorts walking by their side, Gabrielle noticed that one of the Amazons, a curly-headed blonde, was dressed according to the custom of Cyane's tribe, in a long-sleeved, fringed tan shirt decorated with criss-cross strips of brown leather; yet another, a tawny woman with multicolored beads in her braids, didn't look like any Amazon she had seen before. Xena was evidently thinking the same thing, because she asked, "You're from the Northern tribes, aren't you? What are you doing this far south?"

"The tribes have united." The woman paused and added, "Under Varia's leadership."

Gabrielle was shocked and, somehow, stung by the news. Who would have thought Varia had it in her? And why had Varia never bothered to send her word of this? Or maybe it was her own fault, for neglecting the Amazons while drowning in the mess her life had become.

After a while the path widened and the trees become more sparse, letting in the pale sky and the fading sunlight, and then they rode out of the forest and onto the slope of a hill. The Amazon village lay below, its thatched huts surrounded by a vast encampment of tents, wisps of bluish smoke floating up from the bonfires.

As they rode downhill, Gabrielle wondered, wearily and fleetingly, if she might have been better off here.

She looked at Xena, whose calm appearance was belied by the tightness of her jaw, and felt a familiar pang at the thought of what Xena had to be going through. Unable to stop her gaze from drifting over to Ares, she noticed his fingers tapping on the hilt of his sword. In the next instant, she intercepted a glance -- unfriendly if slightly awed -- directed at him by the dark-haired woman who had greeted them. The woman had probably been around when Ares' army attacked the Amazons in his mad quest for ambrosia. Did Varia really, as Xena suspected, have something unpleasant in store for him? Well, it would be nothing he didn't deserve… at least Eve had genuinely repented, while Ares … well, Ares was -- Ares.

Disconcertingly, the memory of that morning when he brought Sappho's scroll back to her surfaced again. She remembered the odd way he looked at her; not with sympathy, maybe, but at least with understanding. Damn. She didn't want his sympathy or understanding, or anything else that would make it harder to dislike him. That was probably why he had brought her the scroll in the first place, to worm his way into her sympathy like the manipulative bastard he'd always been. Not for the first time, she felt herself flushing at the thought that he had read the poem, had guessed what it meant to her. It was as if he'd seen her naked … No. That was one place where she was not going.

They rode through the camp under the curious, somewhat nervous stares of hundreds of women, and then down the main street of the village until they reached the square. Varia, in a feathered ceremonial headdress that made her face look small and almost ratlike, stood waiting for them on a waist-high platform under a wooden painted statue of Artemis, with several other queens at her side. A cluster of young pines rose behind them, their narrow tops gilded by the sunset. The banners of the Amazon tribes, mounted on wooden poles over the platform, billowed gently in the breeze.

"Gabrielle." Varia inclined her head with a respectfully neutral air.

After a moment's hesitation, Gabrielle dismounted, with Xena and Ares following her example, and stepped up toward the platform.

"Varia."

"And Xena. Good to see you again."

"I wish I could say the same." Xena's voice had the cold sharpness of a blade. "I want to see my daughter."

"All in due time."

"Well, that due time better be sooner than later, because I'm not leaving here without her."

Gabrielle felt a dizzy rush of panic.

"Xena…" she whispered, gingerly reaching out to touch Xena's hand. "I know you want to save Eve, but these are our friends -- so let's keep it that way, all right?"

For a moment she wasn't sure Xena had even heard her. Then Xena nodded, never turning her head.

"Livia was banished from our lands under threat of death." Varia's voice rose, her mask of composure slipping momentarily.

"Eve," Gabrielle said. "Her name is Eve."

"Changing her name does not change her crimes."

"Queen Marga already passed judgment on those crimes," Xena retorted.

"And decreed that she would be executed if she ever returned to Amazon lands. She did ?- with a guard of Roman soldiers, no less."

Xena was about to say something else when one of the queens standing next to Varia, a swarthy woman with almond-shaped eyes and a wide flattened nose, spoke up. "This is an Amazon council, Xena. You have no prerogative to be heard here."

Gabrielle flinched. "Now, wait -- "

"We recognize your right to speak, Queen Gabrielle," said another queen, a statuesque redhead in a kilt.

"Xena is here with me. She has a right to defend her daughter before the council."

"Fine," Varia said. "We're ready for the trial. We'll start…" She glanced at the glowing orange disc floating low over the hills. "… as soon as the sun has set. That should give you time to rest and get ready for your defense. Thanais" -- she nodded toward the brown-haired Amazon who had met them in the woods -- "will show you to your quarters."

"I'll see my daughter first."

"You'll see her at the trial. You do not give the orders here, Xena."

"I'll see her now." Xena's hand went to the chakram on her belt. There were scattered gasps, and some of the Amazons standing by the platform reached for their swords or spears. Gabrielle felt as if she were watching the world crumble around her, helpless to do anything about it.

"Xena… " Imploringly, she grabbed Xena's elbow. "Xena, please, please -- "

Xena took a deep breath and looked down, her fists clenched. Finally, she said, "All right."

Some of the tension lifted tangibly from the crowd, as if it had breathed a huge, inaudible sigh of relief.

"Come with me," Thanais said imperturbably.

Gabrielle was about to turn and follow her when Varia said, "Take him."

By the time Gabrielle realized that she was talking to the Amazons and referring to Ares, the former God of War was already staring incredulously at several swords and spears pointed at his chest.

"You've got to be kidding," he said.

Xena looked at Varia, her eyes narrowing.

"What is this?" Her voice seethed with barely controlled rage.

"Ares will be tried along with Livia for his crimes against the Amazons."

"You said you wanted me to bring him as a witness."

"Oh, he'll be a witness all right."

"Varia…" Xena paused. "This isn't right."

"Our sisters were slaughtered and enslaved; that wasn't right, either." Varia's voice shook on the word "sisters" but then picked up, ringing clear through the square, and Gabrielle heard an approving murmur from the Amazons. "With your talents, Xena, I'm sure you can defend two murderers as well as one."

Ares, whose hand was frozen less than a finger's length away from the hilt of his sword, looked questioningly at Xena. She stood still and straight, her own hands rigid, as if it took a supreme effort to keep them off her weapons. Gabrielle wanted to say something, do something, but it seemed as if the least noise or movement could make the dense, taut silence explode into disaster. Then, with a sigh, Xena shook her head almost imperceptibly. Ares' lips twitched slightly, and he lowered his hand.

Varia looked on, a little smugness creeping into her smile. Her quiet voice broke the silence.

"Take him away."

Ares was barely able to suppress a shudder as the manacles snapped shut on his wrists. There was something about that sound, about the cold heavy feel of the iron bracelets, that made one aware of one's mortality in a special and very nasty way.

He had to trust Xena, he told himself as he was marched off the square, two women at his sides, three more behind. Humiliating as it was to be taken like this without a fight -- and especially to let the bitches take his sword, dagger and gauntlets ?- it was the smart thing to do under the circumstances. Xena would have a plan; everything would be all right.

The Amazon on his left clamped her hand on his arm, startling him out of his reflections; without thinking, Ares turned his head and snapped, "Don't touch me," and the woman shrank back, a flicker of apprehension in her eyes. That made him feel a little better.

They walked up to a cabin on the edge of the village, obviously meant to serve as the jail ?- with not one but two massive grimy bolts on the door and a barred window; the bars must have been intended mainly to make a point, since the window was so tiny that only a very unusual prisoner, say a child or a midget, could have possibly used it to escape. The two guards who sat by the door, their spears rested against the wall, looked up from some board game they were playing and eyed him with a rather disappointing indifference. Then, one of them lifted an eyebrow.

"What, we put him in with her?"

"It's only 'til sundown," said one of the women escorting Ares. "They both go on trial tonight."

The guard nodded, rose to her feet and pushed the bolts aside with a loud grating sound. As he stepped toward the door, Ares realized, with a queasy anxiety, that the "her" they were talking about was Eve. He stopped abruptly.

"What, you need a special invitation?" the guard jeered. The other women laughed, though somewhat uneasily. The thought of being shoved or hauled inside was unpleasant enough to propel him through the door. It shut behind him with a hard clang.

The smell of food that hit Ares' nostrils reminded him that it had been hours since his last meal. A spasm of hunger clutched at his stomach, even though the smell wasn't particularly appetizing and the surroundings even less so; the stale air inside carried, among other odors, the unmistakable whiff of a latrine. The room was bare except for a pallet by one of the walls, and a jug and a couple of dishes next to it.

Then he saw the girl standing by the window, wearing an olive-green top and a long skirt. She seemed thinner than the last time he had seen her, her hair unkempt; when she turned to him, her face looked almost ashen in the shadows.

Looking away would be too cowardly.

He expected to see some shock in her expression, but her eyes remained dull.

"What are you doing here?"

He wasn't sure why her question made him feel such a violent surge of anger; or maybe it was the listless, barely audible voice in which it was asked.

"You know, I could ask you the same question."

She sighed and moved a strand of hair away from her face, then walked to the pallet and sat down, hugging her knees.

"Is Mother here?"

"Yeah," he said, leaning against the wall.

Eve sighed again. "So they're putting us both on trial. Tonight."

"Were you crazy, coming here?"

"The Emperor Claudius was looking for someone to send as a peace envoy to the Amazons," she said in a flat voice, as if reciting a history lesson. "Caligula had threatened them. Claudius wanted them to know that Rome no longer means them any harm."

"And Claudius couldn't find an envoy who hadn't been banned from Amazon lands under pain of death?"

"I volunteered."

He rolled his eyes. "What part of 'come back here and you're dead meat' don't you understand?"

"I'm prepared to die for my crimes."

"Oh. Well, excuse me if I'm not."

Eve sat up, her features suddenly animated.

"You could make peace with it," she said. "If you accepted the God of Love into your heart …"

Surely she wasn't going to start with this crap? That was all he needed ?- to have his ex-protégée … or whatever … preaching at him. He got a vivid image of Livia in her dazzling armor and blood-red cloak, smiling as she yanked her sword out of some fool unlucky enough to be in its way. At least she wasn't a sniveling twit back then.

"Hey. Did they whack you on the head a little too hard when they got you? This is me, Ares -- does 'God of War' ring any bells? I don't think you want to talk to me about your God."

"His love has room for everyone. Even you."

He had a strong desire to grab those bony shoulders and shake her until her teeth rattled and her brain got unscrambled.

"You know, maybe you got a point there." He continued as she gave him a wary look, "You keep carrying on like this, and I probably won't mind dying too much. Hell, I may beg them to put me out of my misery."

Her shoulders sagging, she turned away with another dramatic sigh. Maybe now she'd shut up and let him get a little rest before this damn trial.

There was no place to sit except on the wooden floor; it was slightly damp and smelled of mold, just like the pockmarked wall he leaned back against, but it would have to do. He stared into the ceiling, trying not to think about Eve, or about food -- or about the trial.

"You can sit here."

Her voice gave him a start.

"Huh?"

"You can have the pallet. You can sit here. Or lie down if you want."

Ares considered the offer, weighing the disadvantage of sitting on the cold hard floor against the disadvantage of sitting in close proximity to Eve. Finally, he got up, walked over to her and sat down. His eyes fell on the dishes next to the pallet, a plate with a large piece of flat bread and a bowl half-full of some kind of stew.

"I'm not going to finish it," she said. "You can have that too if you're hungry."

She was probably just trying to impress him with her newfound spirit of love and forgiveness -- besides, it galled him to know that she had noticed him looking hungrily at her leftovers -- but dammit, it was tempting.

A few moments later he had finished the bread and was cleaning up the last of the stew; actually, slop was a more fitting word, but at least it quelled the pangs in his stomach. The chain of his manacles left him some freedom of movement but, holding the bowl on his knees, he had to crouch over it so that he could lift the spoon up to his mouth. He looked at Eve, her slender profile sharp against the darkening window. It occurred to him that he should probably thank her.

"Are you sleeping with my mother?"

The question nearly made him choke. With some difficulty, he swallowed the lump of stew stuck in his throat and grabbed the jug to wash it down; the abrupt movement caused the chain on his hands to swipe the now-empty clay bowl and sent it crashing to the floor. Eve didn't even flinch at the sound.

"What the hell sort of question is that?" he rasped.

Eve turned to him, and he noticed a strange glitter in her eye, as if a bit of Livia had come back for a moment.

"I think it's a pretty simple one. Are you -- "

"Yeah, yeah, I got you. I just don't see why I should be discussing it with you."

"So you are," she said quietly.

He took another gulp of water.

"It doesn't matter, you know," she said. "Gabrielle will always come first for her."

Damn -- they didn't call her the Bitch of Rome for nothing. Glancing at Eve again, Ares expected to see gloating over a well-aimed hit, but she wasn't even smiling; she stared into the distance, her face full of sadness and longing, though he wasn't sure for what. There was no use trying to figure her out. The girl was nuts.

She shivered and looked at him.

"Did you ever love me?"

Oh shit -- not that too. Love? What love? There had never been any question of love between them, just business. Well, business and pleasure. He'd been a little fond of her in a way, and proud of her as a star pupil -- but --

"You know what?" he said. "I think I'd rather talk about your God."

She snorted. "Cut the crap, Ares." After a long pause, she shook her head. "I know the answer, anyway. I've always come second." She hugged her knees again, burying her face in her stained, tattered skirt.

Then it hit him. It wasn't about him at all, it was about Xena; everything came back to Xena in the end.

"Yeah," he muttered. "I know the feeling."

Ares wasn't sure that she heard him, or that he wanted her to. He leaned back and closed his eyes.

After a while he said, "She'll get us out."

Eve remained silent, and when he opened his eyes she still sat huddled in the same position, her face hidden.

Gabrielle had wondered why Varia had decided to hold the trial at night -- maybe because the proceedings had a more solemn air, almost like a sacred ceremony, in the wavering torchlight that flooded the main square. She sat on the platform with Varia and the three other queens: Gwyn-Teir, the redhead; Cyane, her namesake's successor, with a kind round face and silvery-blonde tresses; and Kanae, the dark-skinned, flat-nosed woman who had earlier admonished Xena about speaking at an Amazon council.

" … and more than two hundred were taken as slaves," said Varia, who was taking her time reciting the catalogue of Livia's misdeeds. Eve, who had been brought from the jail with Ares, stood below; the shackles on her thin wrists made her look fragile and almost waifish -- too frail to bear the weight of these chains, the weight of these crimes. It was hard to tell from the expression on her haggard face whether she was determined to bear it bravely, or was simply resigned to her fate. Ares didn't seem to be paying much attention to Varia's indictment; his eyes kept wandering about the square and then back to Xena as he mechanically fingered his manacles and poked at the dusty ground with the tip of his boot. Xena stood next to Ares and Eve -- it was unsettling to be separated from her like this, to be above her and not by her side at such a time -- but she wasn't looking at either of them, or at Varia. Her eyes were hooded, her arms folded on her chest. The torchlight gave her hair and her leathers an eerie orange sheen and made the chakram at her belt gleam scarlet.

Gabrielle lowered her head and sighed; she couldn't forget Xena's quietly stricken look when she first saw Eve. At least, she reflected with relief, Varia hadn't mentioned anything about captured Amazons being thrown overboard during the transport, so she probably didn't know about it. Or maybe Ares had made it up. Maybe he was trying to make himself look better, to downplay his role in goading Livia to her evil deeds by inventing a crime she had supposedly committed without his instigation. That would be just like Ares.

"There is not one woman in my tribe," Varia went on, "who has not lost several loved ones in Livia's raid. We've lost mothers, daughters, friends, sisters." She paused, bracing herself. "My own sister, Tura, was cut down by Livia's hand before my eyes…"

So it wasn't just the good of the nation for Varia, it was personal. With a sinking feeling, Gabrielle looked at Eve and saw a grimace of pain cross her face. A gasp ran through the assembled crowd.

"This woman admitted her crimes before, when she was banished by the late Queen Marga. She has admitted them again, when she returned to Amazon lands in violation of Marga's edict. She has confessed that she wanted to capture Amazons to bring to Rome as gladiators, and profit from their blood." Varia looked out at the hushed crowd and, after a moment, resumed. "But Livia didn't act alone. She had the help of her patron god --" her voice rose triumphantly -- "Ares, God of War."

Varia paused again, somewhat longer than required for dramatic effect, and addressed Ares -- who, at the moment, looked tired, disheveled and very un-godlike, with dark circles under his eyes from the swaying shadows.

"Ares. Did you order Livia's raids on the Amazons?"

Ares shrugged. "I gave her the idea."

"You gave her the idea," Varia repeated loudly enough for the crowd to hear, causing murmurs to ripple through the square. "And what did Livia say? Did she object? Was she reluctant?"

A corner of Ares' mouth hitched up, as if he were about to sneer ("Livia? Reluctant? Yeah, right"). Gabrielle tensed. It occurred to her that Ares had a chance to save his own hide by making Eve out to be as blameworthy as possible -- and that Xena's best chance to save Eve was to make Ares look guilty. Poor Xena, having to choose between her daughter and… It would have been so much easier if Ares had been a god, beyond the reach of the Amazons' vengeance; she and Xena could have easily argued that it was all his fault. And lied to bail out Eve?

Eve's voice cut into her jumbled thoughts. "No. I did not object."

Focusing on the trial once again, Gabrielle saw Xena look almost helplessly back and forth from Eve to Ares.

"She didn't," Ares said quietly.

"You were once a patron god of the Amazons. Our foremothers sacrificed to you; some of our greatest queens were your own daughters. Yet you betrayed us. You -- you sent your whore to slaughter and enslave our people!"

"Now, wait just a minute -- " Xena growled.

"Mother -- don't." There was a sudden firmness in Eve's voice. "She didn't say anything I don't deserve."

"Why did you do it?" That was Varia, still addressing Ares. Gabrielle caught herself hoping he wouldn't use the word "fun."

"The Amazons are a nation of warriors. They hadn't had a real war in a long time. I thought it would do them some good."

There was a distinctly hostile rumble in the crowd.

"So when you had us attacked by an army that outnumbered us three to one, you were doing us a favor." Varia's voice was too shrill to be sarcastic.

Xena shot Ares a warning look.

"I believed that -- the Amazons were strong enough to take on Livia."

"Really." Varia glared at him. "But that's not all. A year ago, when you were already mortal, you came here with an army here to attack us -- to destroy our forests, to kill our sisters, for no reason at all. Was that for our own good as well?"

Ares stared back silently, with glum defiance. Gabrielle wasn't sure what would feel worse for him, to be held guilty of those acts or to admit that he, a former god, had been driven to babbling insanity.

"You know very well that Ares wasn't himself then," Xena said. "The Furies had driven him mad."

"So you say." Varia raised her voice again. "Amazons! Both Livia and Ares admit their crimes against our people; all that remains is to determine the proper punishment. But first, the council must vote on their guilt -- even if it isn't really in doubt."

She stepped back, took her seat in the center of the semicircle of queens, and looked at the other members of the council.

"How do you vote?"

Once again, Gabrielle had the dizzying sensation of the world coming apart around her and the broken pieces floating away. Was there any way that she could, in good conscience, vote not guilty?

"Before we start," Cyane said quietly, "Queen Gabrielle, you know what the rules are, don't you?"

For a moment her tongue refused to move. "The -- the rules?"

"If the accused is found guilty, only those council members who voted guilty are allowed to vote on the penalty."

"No," Gabrielle whispered. "No, I didn't know."

Now, she had no choice. That felt better.

"How do you vote?" Varia repeated.

"Guilty," said Gwyn-Teir.

She was echoed by Kanae and Cyane, and then all eyes turned to Gabrielle. She felt Xena's stare as well, and realized that Xena wouldn't know -- at least not immediately -- why she was voting this way. She couldn't resist turning to look at Xena, and then, to her horror, found herself unable to tear her eyes away; and so she and Xena were still staring at each other when she forced herself to say, "Guilty."

Xena's eyes widened, first in anger and then in hurt.

"Guilty." Varia was the last to speak. She rose again and walked toward the edge of the platform. "The judgment is made. By the unanimous vote of the council, Ares and Livia are both guilty as charged."

Xena blinked, as if coming out of a daze, and turned away. Gabrielle was finally able to shift her eyes to Eve, who looked like she wanted only for all this to be over, and to Ares, who was darting worried glances at Xena.

"Xena, you speak in their defense," Varia said. "Can you show us a reason why these two should not be put do death for their crimes?"

"Yes." Xena paused, her hands clasped together. "Yes, I can. Varia -- queens of the Amazon Nation -- you know that my daughter is not who she was when she committed those crimes against you. You want to put Livia to death? Livia is already dead. This is Eve. For the past year, she has dedicated her life to bringing the message of love and peace to people -- she has risked her life to do it. She came here, knowing that she was risking her life, to bring you a message of peace. And Ares… Varia, it was Ares, God of War who sent Livia to attack you. That Ares is just as dead as Livia." Ares flinched and stared down; his manacles jangled slightly as he clenched his fists. "This Ares is -- just a man. Killing them will be revenge, not justice."

Varia laughed harshly. "So that's your defense? They're both dead already? I wish our dead were so dead."

"Kill them!" cried out a voice somewhere in the square, and another low rumble rolled over the crowd. With a satisfied smile, Varia waited for it to die down, and then resumed.

"Xena, you can tell us all you want that they're what they were. They still haven't paid for what they did to our people."

"You think so? Varia, every day, my daughter lives with the knowledge of what she did. That's a high price to pay."

"And Ares? Don't tell me he's consumed with remorse."

Xena lowered her eyes. "Ares will live the rest of his life as a mortal. Think about it, Varia. Imagine what it's like after you've been a god -- to feel pain and hunger and sickness …" Ares shifted his feet and twitched his shoulder, as if a part of him wanted to stop her. "… to have to struggle for survival from day to day…"

"It's how we all live," said Gwyn-Teir.

"So he lost his powers," Varia said. "That doesn't atone for anything he's done."

After a brief silence, Xena said, with an obvious effort, "Ares didn't just lose his powers. He gave them up to -- do a good deed."

The look on Ares' face was one of near-panic, and Gabrielle wondered if he would rather die than have the story of how he became mortal told before an audience.

"What good deed?"

Xena met Ares' frantic, almost pleading stare and turned to Varia again. She sighed.

"He -- he did it to right a wrong he had done. I can't tell you more than that."

Gabrielle saw the queens exchange skeptical glances and realized that she had to speak up.

"It's true," she said. "Xena's telling you the truth."

"Even so," Varia said, "it wasn't to right any wrongs he had done to the Amazons. So maybe he's done something good, and so has Livia, or whatever she calls herself these days. That doesn't bring back any of the people we lost."

"Killing them won't bring back your dead, either," Xena said.

"No, it won't -- but it's just retribution for their deaths. To hear you tell it, Xena, letting these two live is punishment enough. If that were true, would you be trying so hard to keep them alive?"

Xena took a deep breath and looked away, the rigidity of her features softening into a quiet anguish.

"Varia," she said, turning back to the queen, "let me ask you one thing. Is there a single way in which killing Ares and Eve will benefit the Amazon nation?"

"Yes, there is." Varia's voice rang with triumph, as if she'd been waiting for this question all along. "If we punish them to the full extent of our law, it will send a message to anyone else who would lift a sword against the Amazons: harm our own -- and this is how you'll be dealt with." As a new wave of murmurings surged in the square, she went on, "For generations now, we've been a nation in decline, no longer feared, no longer respected. But that will change -- once the entire known world learns that the Amazons brought down the Bitch of Rome and the God of War!"

The rumble exploded into a deafening roar. Xena tried to say something, but even a town crier could not have made himself heard over this noise.

When some semblance of quiet was restored, Varia said, "We'll vote on the sentence."

Gabrielle looked on, feeling as if she were trapped in a nightmare, and the shimmering of the torches was a thick fog that wouldn't let her move. She closed her eyes -- and then, in a burst of light, saw something that should have been in front of her all along.

"Wait," she said, her voice unexpectedly strong.

When she opened her eyes, the four queens were staring at her.

"Well?" Varia said.

"There's something all of you need to know. We have been judging Eve by the laws that apply to outsiders who commit crimes against Amazons -- isn't that right?"

"Of course," said Cyane. "How else should we judge her?"

"As an Amazon," Gabrielle said. "Because she is one."

This was followed by the predictable splash of gasps and cries, and the ripple of whispers as the astonishing news was passed along to those in the back of the crowd. Xena's eyes flashed with hope, while Eve's look of passive acceptance gave way to one of utter horror.

Varia, her face tight, was the first to speak. "What are you talking about?"

"Twenty-six years ago -- when Eve was just a baby -- Xena and I stayed with the Northern Amazons for a while," Gabrielle said. "Cyane, it was during your mother's rule."

"Yes, my mother told me."

"While we were there, Eve was given an Amazon baptism, according to the rites of your tribe. Not only that, but I gave her my own right of caste."

"So now she's an Amazon princess?" Varia jeered. "Do you have any evidence to support this story?"

Gabrielle felt the blood rush to her face. "Are you saying that I'm lying?"

Kanae shook her head. "Queen Gabrielle, I'm sorry if we can't take your word for it -- but we know that you want to save your friend's daughter. Is there anyone other than you and Xena who can confirm this?"

"I can."

Everyone turned toward the speaker, a stocky woman in the colors of Cyane's tribe who stood in the front row of the crowd.

"I was there," the woman said. "I was just a kid myself then, ten years old. But I remember."

After the noise had died down, Varia said angrily, "So what? What does it change? If anything, it makes her crimes worse -- the Amazons she butchered were her own people!"

Eve swayed and would have fallen if Xena hadn't rushed to her side. She leaned on her mother's shoulder and sobbed quietly while Xena stroked her matted hair.

"But the law is different, Varia," Gwyn-Teir said hesitantly. "Amazons have killed other Amazons before. Our law says that the guilty one must be given a chance to make restitution to the tribe -- and only if she refuses can she be punished with death or banishment."

"Restitution? What restitution? She and her army killed hundreds!"

"I know a way." Xena looked up, her hand still resting on Eve's head. "She could bring back the Amazons she enslaved. Eve…" She pulled away and gently lifted Eve's chin, so that her wet face shone softly in the torchlight. "How many Amazons did you sell to the gladiatorial colleges?"

Eve shook her head. "I'm -- I'm not sure" -- she sniffled -- "about two hundred?"

Xena turned to Varia again. "Most of them must still be alive; there aren't many gladiators in Rome who could beat fighters like that. If you let Eve live and claim her place among you, she could lead a mission to Rome -- to bring them back."

After a long pause filled with the hissing of torches and the hum of the crowd, Gwyn-Teir spoke up. "I would agree to that."

"So would I," said Cyane.

"I'm not sure there is forgiveness for what she did," Kanae said thoughtfully. "But if we can free our sisters…"

Varia threw her head back. "We can free our sisters ourselves!"

"Varia," Gabrielle said, "to go up against Rome would be suicide."

Varia gave her a look filled with raw hatred. "So you are all prepared to spare her life?"

The response from the other queens, and from the women who filled the square, was an uncomfortable silence that evidently meant assent.

"Very well then -- there is one more thing you should know. Something that I didn't want to mention unless I had to -- because it was -- too horrible." Before she said another word, Gabrielle knew, hopelessly, what was coming. "One of our sisters who was taken away in Livia's raid made her way back to us. Terpi! Come up here."

As the crowd parted, Gabrielle forced herself to look at Xena. Her face was rigidly impassive again, her mouth frozen in a straight line, her arm stiff around Eve's hunched shoulders. The woman who emerged from the throng, tall with red-tinted brown hair, gave them both a look of undisguised loathing as she passed by. Her right arm hung awkwardly at her side.

"Tell us what you know," Varia said as Terpi mounted the platform and turned to face the Amazons.

"Some of the Amazons Livia had captured," Terpi said, "were injured in the battle. I was one of them; a Roman spear had shattered my arm, just above the elbow. On the ship, when they were taking us to Rome, a physician came to examine the wounded, and to determine which of us would be unfit to fight again." She paused, lowering her head.

"Go on."

"Then, an officer and some soldiers came and took all those who'd been pronounced unfit -- about a dozen of us. They brought us up to the deck and then…"

"What did they do, Terpi?" Varia was clearly making an effort to speak gently, but the anger and impatience in her voice broke through.

"They … " Terpi let out a hoarse sob. "They started throwing the women overboard!"

There was a hush, and then a long gasp from the crowd that turned into a groan.

"You saw this with your own eyes?" asked Gwyn-Teir.

"I saw it. I heard them scream as they hit the water -- still in chains -- "

"Yet you survived," Gwyn-Teir said doubtfully.

"I did." Terpi's gaze hardened into defiance. "I won't hold anything back. I'm alive because an officer who was there decided I was good enough to keep as his whore until the ship got back to Italy. 'Shame to let the sharks have such a nice piece of meat,'" she spat out. "Those were his words. Once we had landed, I managed to escape."

"Was Livia there?" Gwyn-Teir asked. "Do you know that she ordered this?"

Terpi shrugged. "I didn't see her on the deck. But one of the soldiers said, 'We've got orders.' Who else could have ordered it?"

Xena's face never moved, but her eyes sparkled with tears. Eve stood up straight, as if knowing that she was doomed had given her resolve.

Varia spoke up. "Amazon or no Amazon -- there is no forgiveness for this. This wasn't killing in battle; it was brutal cold-blooded murder. The only proper penalty is death."

The other queens nodded.

"Are we ready to vote?" Varia asked.

"Hold on."

At the sound of Ares' voice, Gabrielle looked up with a start.

"She didn't give those orders," Ares said. "I did."

The dreamlike fog thickened around Gabrielle again, and it was through this fog that she heard the cries of the Amazons -- and saw the stunned expression on Xena's face and Eve's look of dismayed confusion, and the hint of a strange smile on Ares' lips as he looked at Xena -- and watched Terpi come down from the platform and spit in Ares' face before disappearing back into the crowd -- and listened as five voices, one of them her own, voted to let Eve stay with the Amazons and lead a mission to Rome to bring back her former captives. Even Varia went along, though her "Yes" had a distinctly sour note.

"As for Ares," Varia said. Xena, who had squeezed Eve in a tight hug, raised her head sharply. "There are two options. Death or banishment."

"Death," said Cyane.

"Death," said Gwyn-Teir.

"Death," said Kanae.

Xena's eyelids flickered at each repetition.

Gabrielle shook her head feebly and muttered, "I -- I abstain."

Varia glanced at her scornfully.

"Death," she said, and then took a step toward the edge of the platform. "Ares, former God of War. You have been tried and sentenced to death for your crimes against the Amazons..."

"Varia." Gabrielle found her voice again. "He -- he confessed of his own free will -- doesn't that deserve some mercy?"

Varia glared at her with exasperation.

"Mercy? All right." She turned back to Ares. "Your death will be quick and painless and ?- honorable. Tomorrow at noon, you die by beheading."

Ares shook his head, as if he too were trying to wake up from some foggy nightmare.

"Take him back to the jail."

As two Amazons led Ares away, the silence was so complete that every step they made and every clink of his chains seemed to echo through the square. He turned back once to look at Xena.

Varia spoke again. "This is over."

"Not yet," Xena said. "I know Amazon law, Varia. A challenger is allowed to fight you for his life."

The crowd stirred again.

"So who's going to challenge me?" Varia asked.

Wearily, Gabrielle rose; she knew exactly what Xena had in mind, and she really had no choice but to go along.

"I am." She paused. "Xena will fight as my champion."

"No, she won't. She's not an Amazon."

Xena's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean? The first time Gabrielle and I met your tribe, I fought Queen Melosa as Gabrielle's champion for the life of a centaur named Phantes -- "

"That was a long time ago," Varia said. "A lot has changed since then. Under the law, Gabrielle, you either fight yourself or ask another Amazon to be your champion." She snorted. "I doubt you'll find many volunteers. Or else forget the whole thing."

Xena stood very still, obviously pondering her next move. Wind gusted through the square, flapping at the Amazon banners over the platform, making the flaming tongues of the torches lap at the night air.

Gabrielle looked at Xena. The fog had cleared, and now she knew what she had to do. She wasn't sure why, as yet, but the reasons would come to her later.

"Varia," she said. "I use my right to challenge."

"He lied to save me."

It was the first time Eve had spoken since the trial.

Xena, who had been combing her daughter's hair, still slightly damp from her bath, paused and exchanged a quick glance with Gabrielle; then her hand moved again, drawing the wooden comb through Eve's brown tresses in long mechanical strokes. She had suspected as much; something told her that Ares wasn't lying that morning by the brook when she asked him if the things he had said about Eve were true. She didn't want to think about what it meant to her that he told the truth. My daughter did this…

Eve twisted the long wide sleeve of her robe and gave a short, almost shrieking laugh.

"He must have really wanted to impress you."

The words cut deep. How had it not occurred to her before that Eve could be … well, jealous? She had been so quick to assume that whatever feelings Eve might have had for Ares had been Livia's feelings -- as gone, as dead as Livia herself. But it was still Eve who lived with the knowledge that she had been dropped without a second thought, for her own mother. Yet another reason this thing between her and Ares should never have happened. Only it was too late to think about that.

All she could say was a soft, pleading, "Eve…"

Then Eve turned her head up, her face suddenly earnest, and all of Xena's concern about her daughter's feelings was swept aside for something more immediate: Eve wasn't out of danger yet -- she was about to put herself right back into it.

"I have to tell the truth," she said.

"No." Throwing the comb aside, Xena came around to stand in front of Eve. "You are not doing this."

"Yes, I am." She began to rise from her chair, but Xena grabbed her shoulders, pushing her down.

"I said, no."

Eve's eyes flared, and at that moment Xena could see her own fire in those eyes. Her fire, her guilt… what a strange legacy to pass on to her daughter.

"You forget, Mother -- it's my life. It's my death. It's my choice."

"No, you forget." You forget that I already lost one child and I am not going to lose another, no matter what. "I am your mother -- I would die before I'd let them touch a hair on your head."

"You can't protect me forever. I'm not a child."

"You're my child." And I wasn't there to protect you when you were small. "I'll protect you as long as I can."

"By letting -- someone else die for my crime."

"He's not going to die," Xena said vehemently. She got down on her knees and grabbed Eve's hands almost violently. "Eve, listen to me. Nothing you say or do is going to make any difference to Ares. You go in and confess right now, and Varia will have you both killed if she can. She wants to go down in history as the Amazon queen who executed Ares, God of War -- you think she'll stop just because you tell her that it wasn't Ares who ordered the Amazons thrown overboard? Even without that, they had enough to sentence him to death. You go in there and hand yourself over to Varia, and I'll ... Gabrielle and I will have to worry about saving two people instead of one."

"He's not going to die, Eve." Gabrielle, who had been busy making dinner -- either because Eve hadn't had a decent meal in weeks, or because she wanted to keep her mind off other things ?- finally spoke up. "I'm going to fight Varia."

Xena's heart gave a guilty wobble: In her anxiety about Eve, she had almost forgotten about this. As if she hadn't pushed Gabrielle far enough…

"You don't have to do it," she said softly, trying her best to mean it.

"Yes, I do."

"Gabrielle -- I could find some other way. After everything that -- "

"Let's not talk about it anymore, okay?" Gabrielle got a tray of baked apples out of the oven and winced a bit, maybe because the tray was hot. "I'll do it."

Eve lowered her head and sighed, her resistance wilting. When she spoke again, it was in a quiet, hollow voice.

"So you're going to cover up a lie to save me."

Gabrielle put the tray down with a bang. Eve jerked her head up, and Xena threw a sharp look back at Gabrielle, who pursed her lips and turned away.

"Eve." This time, she held her daughter's hands gently, the way she wished she could have done years ago. "There is no justice in what they're doing."

"Why shouldn't I pay for my crimes?"

"How can you pay for anything if you're dead? You can do so much more good alive... If you lead that mission to Rome, and bring home the Amazons you enslaved -- then you'll pay them back." She squinted, fighting the tears. "Listen to me, Eve -- I've always believed that no matter what someone has done, they can still turn their life around -- and they deserve a chance if they do. Do you think I'm going to make an exception for my own daughter?" She reached up and cupped Eve's chin. "Trust me on this one, okay?"

Eve sighed again and nodded, blinking a little. Then her face crumpled and she started to cry, slumping into Xena's arms, dropping her head on her shoulder.

"I love you ... Mother," she mumbled through big childlike sobs.

"Shh ... I love you too." Xena stroked Eve's fluffed hair and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too. It's going to be all right."

After trying to find a comfortable way to lie down, Ares gave up and sat leaning against the wall, wrapping himself in the thin, worn-out blanket. In the near-darkness, which the checkered square of moonlight on the floor did little to dispel, he groped awkwardly for the jug of water and drank the little that was left. He was getting hungry again, but it was better to endure hunger and thirst than to ask the guards for anything. It was already bad enough to sit in this stinking jail, weaponless and chained, waiting for his girlfriend to rescue him. Of course, it was even worse to think that she might not rescue him and... He shuddered and clutched tighter at the blanket, acutely aware of every discomfort of his mortal flesh: the gnawing emptiness in his stomach, the stiffness in his legs, the hard lumps in the pallet under him, the stale and slightly acrid smell invading his nostrils, the chill of the night. His wrists were sore from the manacles, a heavy numbness seeping into his hands.

In his very long existence, he'd seen plenty of executions. He used to observe, with a detached disappointment, how some of the bravest warriors could falter when having to face the executioner's sword or rope, and disgrace themselves in their final moments -- put up a futile struggle, or blubber like children, or lose control of their legs -- or, worse yet, piss on themselves or ... his mouth tightened in disgust. He reached for the jug again and realized that his hands were shaking.

Not like this -- please, not like this. Let me die in battle, with a sword in my hands -- with her at my side. She would cradle him in her lap, a single tear rolling down her cheek, and wipe the trickle of blood from his mouth and claim his last breath in a long, sweet kiss ... Then, as if in mockery, his mind filled with far less glorious images of death in battle. As if he, of all people, didn't know how ugly it could be... With his luck, he'd probably end up with his guts ripped out or half his head smashed to a pulp. Throwing off the blanket, he got up abruptly, the floorboards creaking fretfully under his boots, and stalked to the window to take a few gulps of fresh air, as if to reassure himself that he was still alive. The stars winked at him, as chilly and distant as his former fellow gods.

Gods... It occurred to him that he could try calling on Aphrodite. Maybe she'd hear him... But no, he hadn't sunk that low, not yet. Even having Blondie save him would be less humiliating.

To think that once, not so long ago, he had been safe from ever having to worry about such things -- and he'd given it up, because ... well, because the thought of a world without Xena in it was unbearable. What if he'd had time to think about the consequences, back then? Would he do it over again? Ares lifted a hand to wipe the sweat that had broken out on his forehead; he had forgotten about the manacles for the moment, and flinched back when the chain hit him in the face. He wandered back to the pallet and slumped down. He tried to think of the night he'd spent with her in Megara, the feel of her kisses, the firm yet pliant warmth of her body in his embrace, the way she held his face in her hands -- only to have his imagination conjure up a vision of Xena holding his severed head. When the painful dry convulsions in his throat subsided, he thought that maybe he should ask the guards for some water after all.

Dammit -- snap out of it. He wasn't going to die. Amazon law allowed a challenger to fight the queen for the life of the condemned; Xena could kick Varia's ass five times over before breakfast. The memory of Gascar's taunt stirred in his mind, making him wince: Even if you survive, you'll never be anything more than a pathetic loser -- relying on Xena to bail you out... So he'd have to depend on her to save him, yet again; but he'd be alive, and with her, and after a few good fights he'd be able to get the bad taste of his present helplessness out of his mouth.

Taking a few deep breaths, Ares lay down again and pulled the blanket over himself. He wasn't sure how much time had passed before he heard voices outside. Her voice.

He sat up. Oh thank -- whoever.

The bolts screeched heavily, and the door swung open with a groan, and there she was. She walked toward him, holding up a lantern; its light gave her dark hair a soft golden shine and made her eyes glitter. She squatted in front of him and said, "Hey..." -- and he knew he'd do it all over again.

Putting down the lantern and the basket she carried in her other hand, Xena reached out to stroke his face, and he touched his lips to her wrist. Through half-veiled eyes, he watched her lean forward, and waited to lose himself in her kiss; but instead she pressed her cheek to his and rested like that for a moment, holding his hands, and only then tilted her head and kissed him.

When she pulled back, she said, her voice almost casual, "Here, I got you some bread and cheese and wine..."

She sat down next to him on the edge of the pallet. As he ate, Ares felt Xena's eyes on him and caught himself wondering if he looked completely pathetic -- his hands hampered by the chains, his hair messed up from all that tossing and turning, bits of straw from the pallet stuck to his vest and probably to his hair and beard, too. He glanced cautiously at Xena and saw the look on her face -- not pitying but thoughtful, almost puzzled.

"What?"

"Why did you do it?" she asked quietly.

He took another bite of bread, then sipped from the wineskin. "Do what?"

"Take the blame for Eve."

He eyed her curiously. "What makes you so sure I didn't give those orders?"

Xena looked away. "Eve told me." Her voice was so low he could barely hear her. "Besides -- it isn't -- wasn't your style."

Why did he do it ... he hadn't thought about it, really. It had just felt like the thing to do at the moment. Maybe it was as simple as seeing the excruciating pain in Xena's eyes, the same pain that had been there when she was looking at those crosses in the Elijan village, and wanting to make it go away. Maybe a part of him felt that he was responsible, having goaded Livia to go after the Amazons... What in Tartarus was that -- Xena's guilt complex rubbing off on him?

He leaned over to nuzzle her shoulder, and then looked up at her and grinned.

"Maybe I just wanted to surprise my girl."

She shook her head, smiling, her eyes shiny.

"Besides, it's not so bad," he said. "Hey, I'm kinda looking forward to watching you kick the crap out of Varia."

Her smile withered, and something in her face gave him a chill.

"What's wrong?"

"Not me," she said. "Gabrielle."

Ares stared in disbelief.

"Please tell me you're joking."

Xena slowly shook her head, keeping her eyes on his.

"Under Amazon law, only an Amazon can challenge a death sentence by fighting the queen. It wasn't this way before -- but it is now. Ares" -- she put her hand on his shoulder -- "I wanted to fight Varia as Gabrielle's champion, but they wouldn't let me. So Gabrielle will fight her instead."

His dismay must have registered fully in his features, because Xena gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't worry. You've seen Gabrielle fight. You know she's good."

Yes, she was -- but ... but somehow, hearing this news had felt like listening to his death sentence all over again. His and Xena's twin shadows swayed on the walls, huge and black, a pair of mocking ghosts; the dankness of the jail was settling into his bones. Ares grabbed the wineskin and raised it to his mouth, but his hands jerked violently, making his manacles clang and spilling the dark red liquid on his chest.

"Damn," he muttered hoarsely, trying to stop his teeth from chattering.

"It's okay." Xena turned toward him and put her hands on his arms. "You'll be okay."

"Xena -- dammit..." He lowered his head, trying to steady his breath. Something wet fell on his hand, and for one awful moment he thought he was crying ... no, it was a drop of sweat. "Xena..." He wanted to say something but the only words that came to mind sounded -- well, they sounded irritatingly like things most likely to be said by Gabrielle. Xena -- there's so much I haven't told you yet... Xena -- this time with you has been the only time I've been really alive...

He picked up the wineskin, and this time managed to keep his hand firm and take a few sips -- and then, turning to Xena again, to shape his mouth into something like a smile.

"Well -- we had a good run..."

"Don't." Her eyes were suddenly hard, her grip on his arm so tight that it hurt. "Don't you dare give up. I won't let anyone kill you. I promise. Anyone."

The ferocity in Xena's voice snapped him out of his misery; not so much because he was entirely reassured about his chances for survival, but because he had picked up the part she had left unspoken: You're mine. Ares nodded, and watched her face melt back into tenderness.

"I promise." This time, her voice was soft. "You'll be okay."

She knelt behind him and hugged him, folding her arms around his neck. Ares leaned back, breathing her in, resting his head on her shoulder; as she ran her palm over his chest, wiping off the spilled wine, he was pierced by an acute, hot shudder of desire that made him moan aloud. Awkwardly twisting his body around, he pressed his face to her neck -- gods, how maddening not to be able to take her in his arms -- and hungrily kissed the soft skin, then trailed his lips higher, shutting his eyes. She opened her lips to his kiss and held him close; but as his tongue moved inside her mouth and his hands fumbled at her thighs, he felt her tense slightly and knew that they were not going to make love, not in this filthy jail with the guards just outside -- not when it would feel like a last, hopeless good-bye.

He drew back, catching his breath. Xena's mouth creased as if she were on the verge of either tears or a smile; finally she smiled, running her fingertips across his cheek. Then she put her palms on his shoulders and pushed him down gently until he was lying on his back, and moved around so that his head would rest in her lap.

"Get some sleep," she whispered.

He closed his eyes again, and felt the touch of her lips on his eyelids, one then the other. He didn't think he could sleep, not with his body still aching for her, not with worry about his possible doom still burrowing about his mind; but eventually the warmth of her hand on his forehead began to soothe him, making his jumbled thoughts dissolve into an almost peaceful haze.

Xena watched as his face relaxed, his eyelashes fluttering softly, his breath growing calm. After a while she whispered, "Ares"; he sighed but didn't move. She sat there a bit longer, and then tasted something salty on her lips. With a start, she lifted a hand to her cheek and realized it was wet. She jerked her fingers away. Get a grip; you just lashed out at him for giving up, and now you're going to sit here crying? There was no time to mope; she had to think of a backup plan in case Gabrielle lost to Varia.

Very carefully, she lifted Ares' head up, laid him down on the pallet and pulled the blanket over him. Then she got up and tiptoed toward the door, leaving the lantern on the floor by the pallet.

The Amazon who let her out made to slam the door, but Xena's hand shot out to catch her wrist.

"Don't wake him."

The guard snorted and glared at her; Xena glared back, and the woman shrugged peevishly and closed the door as quietly as it could be closed. When Xena looked in through the small window, Ares was still asleep.

"Why are you doing this?"

Gabrielle flinched a little and bit her lip. She had expected this question when she went to see Varia, but she still had trouble answering it.

She fidgeted in her bearskin-covered chair, looking uneasily around the queen's hut. It was austere and sparsely furnished, the feathered Amazon masks on the wall and a few trophy weapons the only decorations, unless one counted a motley beaded curtain that separated the private quarters. The sun was bright outside, a slanted beam of silvery-white mist leaving a bleached patch on the brown rug on the floor. Gabrielle could hear the usual sounds of morning in the village: the squealing children, the teenage girls chattering and laughing at the well, the splash of water and the clang of the bucket and chain; and, in the distance, the shouts and grunts of warriors doing their exercises.

Shifting her eyes back to Varia, Gabrielle wondered vaguely why she had come here. To try to talk Varia out of the fight and the execution, of course... as if there was any hope of that.

The prospect of the fight unnerved her, and not because she doubted her skills. She had been awake most of the night, dozing off fitfully a few times. After Eve had fallen asleep, Xena had gone off with a curt "I'll be back," taking a food basket and a wineskin with her. There was, of course, no need to ask where she was headed. Lying in the dark under too-heavy fur covers, watching as the shimmering embers in the hearth melted slowly into black, she was past caring what Xena did with Ares in that jail. There was too much else, too much... She had lied ... or at least helped cover up a lie ... to protect Eve. No, lied -- to her own people. On top of that, she was going to fight Varia, her queen, for the life of Xena's lover, for the life of the man who was ruining her life. It couldn't get much worse than that.

Then Xena came back, and it was worse. She undressed quietly and lay down on the pelts that served as their bedding, and as they lay next to each other, Xena on her back, Gabrielle on her side with her back to Xena, the silence between them thickened into something almost palpable, a hard thing pushing them apart. After a few moments Xena turned, and Gabrielle thought she could sense her hand move closer; a clammy panic enveloped her at the thought that Xena was going to wrap an arm around her, or even touch her, and she wouldn't be able to keep from flinching. Finally the furs rustled softly and Xena turned away, settling on her side.

They had barely spoken or even looked at each other since the trial -- except for a brief moment while Eve was taking her bath, when Gabrielle frantically began to explain why she had voted guilty, and Xena nodded, staring intensely at her boots.

And now she was sitting here with Varia, meeting her expectant, irritated stare.

She couldn't possibly explain why she had to fight for Ares. She couldn't tell the truth about Eve; she couldn't say that if Ares died for Xena's daughter, he would divide them in death more than he ever had alive; nor could she give voice to her fears about how far Xena would go to protect Ares. There was only one thing she could say, and she made herself say it.

"Varia, he saved my life." She paused, and knew she couldn't leave it at that. "He gave up his godhood to save -- Xena and me." It was best not to mention Eve.

Varia's eyes narrowed warily.

"Why?"

"What does it matter?" The passion in her own voice shocked her. "We owe him our lives. I can't let him die."

"I suppose it was because he has a thing for Xena, wasn't it." Varia snorted. "And for that -- you're willing to overlook all his crimes against our people."

"Varia... It's -- it's not the same for gods. To them, mortal lives are -- like toys. You can't really judge him for that ... not now that he's mortal." She almost believed it, too.

"You and Xena -- you've got a good excuse for everything, don't you," Varia said. "Livia isn't what she was, Ares isn't what he was... I have to watch half of my tribe being slaughtered, and when I get a chance to avenge them -- you tell me that those who did it don't exist anymore. Oh, they're not dead -- just different." She shook her head with a bitter smirk. "I wish they'd changed before they did what they did to us."

"But don't you see ... vengeance changes nothing."

"It does for me. A warrior can't just let it rest, Gabrielle." She paused and looked away, her voice suddenly hushed. "I could have changed it all."

"What do you mean?"

"When -- " Varia's voice broke off and she was silent for a moment. "When Livia's troops overran my village, my sister and I were out scouting." She looked turned her head to face Gabrielle again, her face soft and hesitant. "When we came back, the battle was raging, and the Romans didn't see us. I was able to sneak up on Livia from behind, with a sword in my hand. I had the perfect chance." Her voice hardened. "I could have rid the world of Livia. But it was my first battle -- I had never killed before. And so I hesitated -- long enough for her to turn around. I'll never forget the look in her eyes."

Gabrielle shuddered inwardly. Rid the world of Livia ... Eve ... Eve would have been dead. She didn't want to ask herself how that made her feel.

"I thought she was going to kill me," Varia went on. "Just then, Tura screamed and rushed toward me, and Livia ... Livia ran her through." She was silent again, a faraway look in her eyes, her fingers going toward a beaded bracelet on her left wrist.

Her throat tightening, Gabrielle forced herself to keep her eyes on Varia's.

"And you?" she asked in a small voice.

"I was knocked out and left behind. Maybe she left me for dead; maybe she thought it would be worse for me to live with the memory. To live knowing that if I had killed Livia, I would still have my tribe and my sister." She rose from her chair, walked to the window and stood still for a moment, looking out. Then she turned, her face now cold and set in determination. "I can't undo the past. But we can redeem it with justice."

Gabrielle got up as well. There was no point in arguing with Varia about justice; it was, she realized, as much about Varia's own guilt as about Ares' or Eve's.

"Varia," she said gently, "it wasn't your fault."

Varia thrust out her chin. "You're right, it wasn't my fault. It was hers. His."

"Then stop blaming yourself..."

Gabrielle thought she saw the queen's dark eyes soften; but perhaps she had only imagined it, because in the same instant Varia raised a hand, cutting her off.

"No, you stop wasting my time. Why don't you go get ready for the fight." Her lips twisted in mockery. "See you at noon."

With a curt nod, she walked toward the curtain, signaling that the conversation was over.

"Varia!" Gabrielle called out.

Varia stopped and gave an exasperated sigh. "What now?"

"I wanted to say that I'm not fighting for your queenship ... just -- his life."

Varia gave her a pitying look, and then turned and disappeared behind the curtain.

A moment later Gabrielle stepped outside, raising her hand toward her face as the sunlight slashed at her eyes. Two coltish, still baby-faced girls who were walking away from the well, water spilling from their buckets and leaving a dark trail in the dust, stopped and gaped at her; one whispered something to the other, probably about her upcoming contest with Varia. Gabrielle's eyes slid over them blankly. She felt no disappointment -- she hadn't had much hope for a different outcome -- only an expected, dull sadness.

There was less than two hours left until noon.

Bracing herself for her next conversation, she headed toward the jail.

When they let her in, Ares sat up abruptly on the pallet by the wall, his face scrunched up as daylight flooded the cabin for a moment before the door closed again. After a night in jail, he looked nearly as shabby as his surroundings.

"Oh it's you," he said, his voice ragged. She realized that when the door opened, his first thought had been that they had come for him.

"Yeah." She walked toward him, twitching her nose at the smell of this place, and sat down on the floor. She wasn't quite sure how to start, and finally asked, "So -- how are you?"

He snorted. "Ask me again in a couple of hours."

Her cheeks burning at the stupidity of her own question, she looked down at the grimy floor and sighed. "Ares ... it was very brave and unselfish -- what you did."

"I can't tell you how much that means to me." Then, his habitual sarcastic expression turned to an almost sheepish one. "Look, I, uh -- " he squirmed a bit -- "I do appreciate what you're -- you know -- "

She smiled in spite of herself.

"What would it take for you to actually thank me?"

"Let me get back to you on that."

The next part was going to be difficult.

"Ares, if I win... I want to ask you to do something -- for me."

After a short pause, he asked warily, "What?"

"I want you to promise me that when it's over -- you'll go away."

Gabrielle forced herself to look at him. His look of open-mouthed shock darkened into a scowl.

"Go away," he repeated.

"Leave us alone." She paused and added, "I can't go on like this anymore," and then wanted to kick herself -- why did she have to explain herself to him at all? "Listen" -- she looked away again, a pleading note creeping into her voice -- "if you want to see her sometimes, I -- "

A strange sound jolted her, a clap accompanied by a metallic jangle. With a start, she turned her head and watched as Ares slowly applauded her, each clank of his chains making her flinch.

"Congratulations."

"What -- "

"You've learned to play hardball. You know," he added with a crooked grin, "there was a time when, if you had been my student, I would have been very proud."

She felt the blood rush to her face again, the heat spreading to her neck. "What are you talking about?"

"That little offer you just made me. I promise to clear out, you make sure my head stays attached to my shoulders."

"It's not like that! I already challenged Varia... Ares -- dammit -- I'm just asking you!"

"And what if I say no? You could always lose, right? Listen, kiddo, you don't have to tell me how the game is played."

Gabrielle was silent, her mind whirling. She hadn't meant it that way, really she hadn't, couldn't have -- and yet she was taking advantage of his predicament -- there was no denying that.

"Anyway, the answer is no. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

The bastard -- when she was going against her own people to save him...

"Maybe I could always lose," she snapped. By the time she regretted those words, it was too late.

"I suppose you could. And then Xena could get a little upset and do quite a number on your beloved Amazons. Or you could stand by and watch them lop my head off, knowing that you let me die just because you wanted to have your girlfriend all to yourself ... oh, and to save little Evie, of course." The corner of his mouth twitched into a nasty little smirk. "Ready to live with that? Here's a free tip. If you're going to blackmail someone, you'd better be prepared to make good on your threat -- 'cause, see, I don't believe you are. And even if I did..." He shrugged, the look in his eyes suddenly grave and distant. "Forget it, Gabrielle. I'm not leaving."

Gabrielle felt an overpowering surge of disgust; whether at herself or at him, she wasn't sure. She scrambled to her feet.

"You know," she said in a near-whisper, "I didn't want it to be like this."

He gave her a bitter, mocking look. "You think I did?"

She walked briskly to the door and banged on it so the guards would let her out. As the door swung open with a loud angry noise, she glanced back at Ares and saw him grab the wineskin next to the pallet. Their eyes met again, and for one unmasked moment she saw how scared he was. Like a fool, she felt sorry for him.

She shouldn't have come here, she thought. It was as useless as talking to Varia.

Behind her, the door slammed shut. Gabrielle stood still for a moment, wincing a little at the bright blue sky, ignoring the curious stares of the guards. Ares was left behind that door, locked up and sentenced to death, yet she was the one feeling trapped.

They marched him past the silent crowd, under the stares of hundreds of curious eyes. Back in the jail, the Amazons who had come to get him had freed him from the shackles, rather to his bewilderment, but only to yank off his vest -- it took Ares a few moments to realize, with a sickening chill, that this was done to expose his neck -- and tie his hands behind his back.

As they approached the platform, where Varia stood next to a wooden block with a long sword propped up against it, Ares saw Xena in the front of the crowd. Eve was there too; she shuddered when she saw him, and visibly fought the impulse to avoid his eyes. Xena's face was rigidly impassive, just as he had expected. He tried to smile at her but wasn't sure he managed anything other than a grimace. Then he saw Gabrielle, standing in a clear space in front of the platform next to a large yellow-and-blue circular mat. She looked like someone about to get her ass kicked. Dammit, he should have trained the girl when he had a chance.

His eyes shifted back to the platform, to the grey block and the sword gleaming painfully in the sun. The solid, inescapable reality of these objects suddenly made Xena's impassioned words the night before -- I won't let anyone kill you -- sound like ... words. These could be the last things he'd ever see in this world: this crowd of women hungry for his blood; the tops of the huts behind them, their thatched grey roofs almost white in the sun; the stupid statue of a dead goddess with its skin painted a gaudy pink and its hair a bright coppery brown. It was enough to make his knees feel weak and his mouth go dry; when he tried to swallow, his throat clenched in a spasm. Steady. Steady. He managed not to stumble as they hustled him up the steps to the platform.

"On his knees," Varia commanded quietly. The two women at his sides pushed him down, and he couldn't help grunting with pain as his knees slammed into the wooden boards. He looked up at Xena and saw her jaw quiver.

"Amazons!" Varia's voice rang clear through the crowded square. "This man -- Ares, the former God of War -- has betrayed our trust and committed crimes against our nation. He is responsible for the slaughter of hundreds of our sisters. Today, justice will be ours." She paused. "To a strong Amazon Nation!"

To a strong Amazon nation. Gabrielle's lips moved soundlessly as a disjointed chorus echoed the pledge.

She dared not look at Ares, or at Xena. She now knew for certain that Xena had a backup plan in case she failed; she wasn't sure if this made her feel better or worse.

Earlier, when Gabrielle had returned to their hut after seeing Ares, they had talked about her conversation with Varia; and then Xena put her hands on her shoulders, looking at her with a familiar, agonizing, timid tenderness, and said, "Good luck, Gabrielle" --- and, even more quietly, "Thank you." Gabrielle's "I love you" froze in her throat; she nodded, trying her best to smile, and managed a strained "It's going to be okay." Then Xena's expression turned almost businesslike. "If you lose -- be prepared to get out fast. I'll have the horses ready." Gabrielle stared at her, horrified, and finally asked what she was going to do. "Get him out," Xena said briskly. "I promise no one's going to get hurt, okay?" So there was a plan; but when Gabrielle pressed Xena to tell her what it was, she hesitated, and just then Eve came in, and Xena shot Gabrielle a warning look and said again, "Good luck."

So this plan involved something of which Eve would disapprove... well, Eve, in her present state, would disapprove of anything that meant flouting Amazon law.

"As our law allows," Varia continued, an unmistakably sarcastic note entering her voice, "a challenger has come forward to defend this man -- one of our own queens, Gabrielle." As murmurs welled up in the crowd, she pointed to Gabrielle, who, at that moment, would rather have been in the deepest pit of hell. "If she wins, Ares receives my pardon and is free to go. If I win" -- she tapped on the hilt of the sword -- "I carry out the sentence."

She came down from the platform and walked to the circle where Gabrielle stood waiting. Then she turned toward the two Amazons standing next to Ares and added, "Blindfold him."

The words knocked the breath out of him -- and, at least for a moment, the hope. That's it. Now it really felt like the end. The thought flashed through his mind that he was going to miss his last chance to see a good fight. Xena -- there she was -- her face tight as if she were about to cry. His heart throbbed violently. The sky -- the sky was blue ... and the pines were such a soft green ... maybe he was losing his mind. A strip of black flashed before his eyes; with a snarl, he wrenched his head away, frantic to get one more glimpse of Xena, and bit down hard on his lip to keep from calling out to her. Then his head was gripped as if in a vise, and the blackness came down over his eyes.

"Let's go!" said Varia's disembodied voice.

There was a harsh "Yah!", and the sound of flesh crashing into flesh, and then a dull thud as somebody went down -- and cheers and shouts of "Varia!" from the crowd. This was not good.

Please, Gabrielle... please. Xena winced as she watched Gabrielle get up and swing at Varia, and watched Varia dodge the blow and kick Gabrielle in the midsection, making her stumble back and nearly fall. The Amazons cheered again -- "Bring it on, Varia!" "Get her!" Gabrielle's next kick connected, but her moves were haphazard and unsure; Varia's punch caught her full in the face, making blood gush from her nose. Gabrielle... Xena closed her eyes for a moment. I'm sorry... Then she looked at Ares and saw him crane his neck, arms straining against his bonds, as he obviously tried to figure out what was happening. She would make it up to him, somehow. She couldn't afford to think about what he was feeling right now, or about how much Gabrielle was hurting; she had to focus on what she had to do next. It had to work. If only she'd had a chance to tell Ares about it...

Next to her, Eve gasped as Gabrielle was knocked down again. Glancing at her daughter, Xena lightly squeezed her arm. If Gabrielle lost and they had to make their getaway, Eve would have to come too -- it wouldn't be safe for her to stay with the Amazons after this. Eve would hate it ... maybe would hate her for it. But there was no other way. She prayed to any god who could hear her that, if things looked bad, Eve wouldn't decide to save Ares by coming forward and making a full confession. All she'd do is get them both killed.

If only she didn't have to go through with this plan... Come on, Gabrielle -- you can do it.

Gabrielle got up and coughed, wiping the blood that dripped down her chin. Her face was burning, every muscle in her body hurt, and she was losing. Would Xena think that she might have lost on purpose? What if Ares -- if he survived -- told her about their conversation? No, he wouldn't do that ... wouldn't run to Xena to complain. But still ... Dammit -- she wished she knew what Xena was planning to do. No one's going to get hurt... Except that Ares could get hurt or killed in the escape ... or Eve ... or Xena ... and it would all be her fault because she let Varia beat her. One way or another, she would lose -- everything.

With a hoarse shout, she blocked Varia's kick. Something dark and ugly and powerful was rising inside her, swelling in her chest, pressing up against her throat; she remembered the prison yard at Mount Amaro, and Xena crawling on the ground, wounded and crippled -- remembered the moment when she picked up the sword, and threw away all the principles of non-violence she held dear, and went at the Roman soldiers, striking them down, hacking and stabbing at human flesh and bone -- for Xena.

Gabrielle spun and kicked, and saw Varia reel as the impact of the blow shot through her own body. She had fought by Xena's side so many times since that terrible day, shed so much blood ... had given up her own way for Xena's love ... had let the violence destroy her slowly from inside ... and for what? To have Xena carry on with Ares under her nose ... to be treated like a meek little fool who'd put up with anything for a few sweet words and tender kisses... like the meek little fool she was. Her hand shot out and she felt the hard slam of fist against face. Damn it all. Her fist flew out again, and Varia staggered and fell back, a look of shock on her bloodied face. More blood ... Varia got up and charged her, and she aimed another kick -- damn Ares for following them here -- for forcing himself into their lives -- for making Xena fall in love with him... Damn herself for being such a fool. Damn Varia for getting in the way as her life was careening to hell like a chariot with the wheels coming off. She wasn't feeling pain anymore; her body had become pure energy, the dark mass inside her driving her on as she hit and kicked and punched, again and again and again and --

"Gabrielle!"

Xena's cry pierced the air, and everything crashed to a halt. She stood still, breathing hard, suddenly aware that every breath was slicing into her throat, that her hands and feet were aching, and that there was blood, a lot of blood, splattered over her neck and chest and hands... She became aware, too, of the now-silent crowd watching her uneasily -- of Varia lying curled up on her side, dark strands of hair spilling on the yellow and blue of the mat that was now dotted with red -- of Xena, her face contorted in horror and pity.

"It's over," Xena said.

Varia stirred and slowly sat up; with a shaky hand, she pushed aside her hair, slick and shiny with blood. There were gasps at the sight of her face, reddened with marks that would later turn purple and blue, one eye swollen almost shut, the mouth a shapeless red splotch, as if she were wearing a very bright, grotesquely smeared rouge.

Xena watched as Gabrielle took a couple of steps toward her, her feet moving stiffly as if of their own accord, and then stopped, her arms hanging at her sides, frowning a little as if trying to figure out what was happening. She looked so small and lost.

Oh, Gabrielle...

She rushed toward Gabrielle and pulled her away, hugging her tightly, stroking the hot sweaty skin of her back, resting Gabrielle's tousled blonde head on her chest. Then she drew back and ran her fingers over Gabrielle's face, wiping off smudges of blood and dust. Gabrielle looked up at her with an almost puzzled expression, and Xena found herself blinking, eyes blurring with tears. She saw another face before her, the bright-eyed face of a funny village girl in a blue dress who said, gesturing rapidly in excitement, "You've got to take me with you... Xena, I'm not cut out for this village life -- I was born to do so much more." And there was another memory: the time they fought the Horde and Gabrielle insisted on giving water to the enemy wounded. You understand hatred but you've never given in to it, Xena had told her then. Maybe that was the moment she had truly fallen in love with Gabrielle... And now, to see her like this -- to see the girl whose light she had wanted so desperately to preserve pummel another human being in frenzied rage ... that was bad enough -- but to know that she had done this to a fellow Amazon -- while fighting for Ares...

Ares.

Oh no...

He was still on his knees -- tied up -- blindfolded -- probably not even knowing who had won --

Her eyes darted over to him. She saw the tension in his body, his chest shaken by hard shallow breaths, his head tilted as if he were trying to pick out, in the cacophony of hushed voices, something that would tell him what was going on.

Gabrielle caught her gaze and sighed.

"I should go and -- talk to Varia," she said, nodding toward the queen as Cyane and Gwyn-Teir helped her to her feet. "I'm all right."

"Gabrielle -- "

"Go on. I'm all right."

Ares strained to listen. He thought he had heard Gabrielle's voice, but he wasn't sure. For a moment, Xena's scream had made him think that Varia had killed the girl, or at least messed her up pretty badly, and the hollow fear he'd felt had turned to a surge of choking terror. The cheering for Varia had stopped sometime before that, but it was hard to tell what that meant; all he could do was listen to the blows -- which sounded, at that point, more like a beating than a fight -- and the grunts and raspy cries. That damn blindfold... He tried to shift a little; his knees hurt and his arms were numb, the rope cutting into his wrists, but at least the pain was a tangible reminder that he was still alive. The fight was clearly over and Varia hadn't stepped up to declare victory ?- that was a good sign. Where in Tartarus was Xena?

There were steps coming up the platform, getting closer. It sounded like -- Xena -- please let that be you please please --

Something touched his face -- her hand -- yes, that was her hand all right... It felt like his heart was trying to smash through his ribcage. Her fingers tugged at the blindfold, and as it came off the sun nearly blinded him but he made an effort to keep his eyes open. She was kneeling before him, his love, a little misty-eyed and beautiful, beautiful --

"It's over," she said.

He winced, still getting used to the daylight, gasping for breath. "Gabrielle won?"

Her "Yes" was strangely grim, but he wasn't about to puzzle over that. All strength seemed to have drained instantly from his limbs, and he slumped against Xena, dropping his head on her shoulder, shuddering. She drew her arms around him and pressed her lips to his neck.

"You're okay -- " There was a catch in her voice. "You're okay."

Ares' eyes tingled treacherously as she reached down to cut the rope. His arms free at last, he clutched her in an almost convulsive embrace, closing his eyes, unable to suppress a groan. She held him, and her hair was warm on his face, and her lips and her breath grazed his neck again, and there was nothing else, no Amazons, no Gabrielle, no Eve, nothing.

Then she pulled back, gently extricating herself from his arms.

"Come on."

She rose and extended her hand, but he wanted to do it on his own; it took a concentrated effort, and he almost stumbled but managed to stand up. She put a hand on his arm and gave him an encouraging smile.

Coming down into the square, where the crowd was starting to thin out, they were confronted by Varia. Her face was -- whoa! Blondie did that? Then he noticed Gabrielle standing behind the queen, looking as wretched as if she was the one who'd been thrashed.

"Xena." Varia's swollen lips moved with obvious difficulty, her speech slurred. "Who gave you permission to release him?"

Xena frowned. "You said that if Gabrielle won, he was free to go."

"On my pardon." She paused to wipe the blood that had welled up again on her mouth. "I'm still the queen, Xena. Not you." For a moment she sounded less like the queen than like a fretful child. Then again, it was hard to be regal when one couldn't even speak clearly.

Xena's lip curled as if she were about to deliver a sharp retort; then she paused briefly, her eyes flickering toward Gabrielle, and said, "Sorry."

Varia attempted a glare that came out as a squint. "Get him out of here -- now. I don't want him on our lands. Or you. You have an hour to get out."

"All right." Xena was silent for a moment. "Varia... I'm sorry -- it didn't have to end this way..."

Varia's puffy lips trembled a little; when she spoke again, her voice was softer. "Xena -- I thought you were our friend."

"I am your friend. Varia -- what you were doing wasn't right -- you let your guilt and your hatred blind you -- maybe one day you'll understand..."

This time, the silence was long and awkward. Varia sniffled and dabbed at her nose, wincing in pain. Then she said, bitterly but not quite with the same conviction as before, "Save it for some other time."

"Yeah." Xena sighed. She glanced at Ares, then, somewhat hesitantly, back at Varia. "He's going to need his things back."

Varia nodded toward one of the Amazons who had brought Ares from the jail. "She'll bring them to your hut."

As the woman walked off, Xena said, "Come on, Gabrielle."

"Queen Gabrielle," said Cyane, who was standing nearby with the other queens. "Please don't leave yet. You should stay for Eve's initiation; after all, it's from you that she received her right of caste. It wouldn't be right not to have you at the ceremony."

Varia's one good eye glittered angrily -- Eve's initiation was obviously a sore point -- but she said nothing.

"What about Xena?" Gabrielle said. "She's Eve's -- "

"No," Varia snapped. "Xena is not an Amazon."

Gabrielle glanced uneasily at Xena, who lowered her eyes and murmured, "It's up to you."

To be away from Xena right now -- or to be with Xena, so soon after everything that had happened ... what would be worse? She wasn't sure. Eve ... Eve needed her; she could hold on to that.

"I'll stay," Gabrielle said, turning to the queens.

She watched as Varia walked away slowly and stiffly across the square, leaning on the arm of one of her guards. In a few moments the other queens dispersed as well. Two Amazons came over to roll up the mat.

Everyone was gone now, except for herself, Xena, Ares, and Eve -- who stood to the side, staring at the ground, hugging herself as if trying to ward off a chill -- and a few onlookers still lingering in front of the huts. The square seemed smaller somehow, without all the people. Birds chirped overhead and landed on the softly swaying furry branches of the pines behind the platform; somewhere, a dog barked, and a baby wailed, and Gabrielle wondered if all these ordinary sounds of life had been suspended during the past hour.

Xena enveloped her in a tight hug; closing her eyes, she felt Xena's cheek rest on the top of her head and, just for a instant, surrendered herself to the comfort of this embrace, as if there were nothing to divide them. In that moment, she wished she hadn't agreed to stay. Then it all came back, and the cold weight in her chest hurt worse than the bruises on her body. She pulled away.

As they started to walk back to the hut, Ares' voice behind her made her stop. "Uh, Gabrielle -- "

She turned. He shifted his feet and cleared his throat, his eyes darting this way and that, and then looked up at her and muttered, "Thank you."

Gabrielle hadn't expected it to matter to her at all; yet, hearing him say it, she wasn't sure if she was more irritated or pleased.

"You're welcome."

He grinned and added, shaking his head, "Looks like I missed one hell of a show."

The wave of sickness Gabrielle had felt right after the fight rolled over her again. Dimly, she saw Xena give Ares an exasperated look and heard her say, "Let's go."

"I could put some ointment on that -- "

"I told you -- I'm all right." Gabrielle leaned back, away from the touch of Xena's fingers on her swollen lip. The tepid water in the tub rippled a little, tinged pink from the blood. "I'm done, anyway."

She got up, the water rolling down her body, a thin sheen on her bruised skin. Bruised... Her mouth rigid, Xena stepped back from the tub to pick up a sheet and hand it to Gabrielle. Bruised inside and out, for her, and anything she could say or do to make it better would only make it worse.

"Just tell me where to meet you," Gabrielle said, wrapping herself in the sheet.

"You know the lake where we camped the night before we got here? We'll wait for you there."

We. She shouldn't have said that.

Gabrielle got out of the tub, her movements slow and deliberate. "I think I'll stay an extra couple of days," she said. "Maybe I can help Eve -- ease into things." Xena met her stare and nodded silently, and then the deadness lifted from Gabrielle's eyes as she added softly, "Xena, I will come back."

When Xena held her close, Gabrielle's body was cool and still in her arms, her hands lingering stiffly in the air before resting on Xena's back. Finally, Xena mustered the courage to breathe "I love you," and waited forever, unbearably, until Gabrielle mumbled into her neck, "I love you too." They stood like that a while longer; then Gabrielle broke away and said, "You should go..."

"Yeah," she said. Everything was ready for their departure; Ares was outside with Argo and Dragon. "I'll just say good-bye to Eve."

In the main room of the hut, Eve paced around, still hugging her shoulders, wearing the same olive-green outfit in which she had spent her captivity (only scrubbed clean and somewhat faded). After the initiation, it would be replaced by Amazon garb.

"Eve," Xena said softly.

Eve stopped and turned toward her, a distant, wistful look on her face.

"You're leaving?"

"Come sit with me a minute." She walked over to the cot and sat down, looking at Eve, trying to think of what to say. Why couldn't she talk to her own daughter? Eve came up and sat next to her.

"I hope you find a new life here," Xena said.

"Among people whose sisters and friends I butchered."

Xena turned and put her hands on Eve's slender arms.

"You know you're not that person anymore. Livia is gone."

Eve chuckled bitterly. "I'm not so sure about that."

"What do you mean?"

"It's still inside me, Mother," Eve said quietly, looking away, and then Xena understood. While watching Gabrielle fight Varia, some part of Eve had felt fascinated by the spectacle -- as much as the rest of her had felt repelled and horrified.

"Look at me, Eve," she said urgently. "It's not what's inside you that matters -- it's what you do with it. I know you're going to do good. You'll bring back those Amazons you captured. Someday the Amazons will forgive you. Maybe you should think about forgiving yourself, too."

Eve gave her a probing look. "Have you? Forgiven yourself, Mother?"

"Ah... good point." If only all the unforgivable things had been in her past...

"Thank you for -- everything." She paused. "I know I've been a disappointment to you..."

"A disappointment?" Xena felt raw despair, as if, no matter what she did, she couldn't claw through the wall that separated her from her daughter.

"You wanted me to have a different kind of life -- to find a way beyond killing. Instead, I've ended up..." -- she sighed -- "bearing a burden just like yours ... and adding to your own burden."

"Eve, Eve..." How could she make her understand when she really didn't understand this herself? "You will find a way. Please believe me -- you could never be a disappointment." She wrapped her arms around Eve and pulled her close. "I love you."

They sat together, Eve leaning on Xena's shoulder, Xena stroking Eve's hair, and they could have been any mother and child saying good-bye for a while.

"So where will you go now?"

Xena chuckled. "Wherever there's trouble, I suppose. That's how it usually works out."

Eve sat up straight and studied her hands. Then she said, "You care about him a lot ... don't you."

Xena cringed; it was probably inevitable that Eve was going to bring this up. She wondered what Eve actually knew about her and Ares, or about her and Gabrielle. The thought of Eve being aware of what her mother did in bed with anyone would have been rather alarming before; now, it was -- frightening.

"Eve..."

"It's all right." Eve looked up. "I'm completely over ... all that. It's just -- hard to understand."

"A lot of things are."

Eve smiled thinly. "I'm glad you're with people you love. You deserve to be happy."

It was strange, to hear her daughter say that. She wondered if she could ever bring herself to believe it.

"Eve -- sweetheart..." She bit her lip. The wall was still there, and she felt like she could beat her head against it and it still wouldn't do any good.

There was an abrupt knock on the door, and a voice that she recognized as Thanais' said, "Xena! Varia says you and Ares have to leave right now."

"Just a minute!" Xena called out and turned desperately to Eve, brushing her cheek with the back of her hand. "I love you -- you're my greatest gift ..."

Eve's fingers closed around her wrist.

This time the knock was louder and angrier. The beaded curtain rustled and Gabrielle came out of the back room, wearing a plain brown tunic she had put on while her skirt and top were drying off; in the half-dark, with her hair wet and slicked back, she looked waifish and pale and heartbreaking. Xena sighed, helplessly patting Eve's hand, and rose from the cot.

"I'm ready," she said.

The initiation ceremony would start right after nightfall. It was already evening, and only a little daylight penetrated through the small windows into the ceremonial hut where the queens (except for Varia, who had retired to her private quarters) and a few Amazon elders were preparing for the ritual. The weapons laid out on the table, next to the bird and animal masks, the necklaces, and the jars of face paint, sparkled dimly in the quavering light of two small oil lamps.

Gabrielle had just finished listening to Cyane's explanation of her role in the ritual. Quite a few things had changed; thankfully, there would be no more howling at the moon -- she wasn't sure what Eve would have made of that.

"There is something else." Cyane looked almost embarrassed. "While Eve inherits your right of caste, we would like an agreement that she will lay no claim to the queenship. It's an unusual condition, but we hope you -- "

"Of course," she said quickly.

"And after the initiation, she will have to undergo a purification rite to be cleansed of her crimes against the Amazons."

Gabrielle nodded, her mouth suddenly dry. The purification rite ... She remembered, all too well, the time when she underwent it herself -- when the demon child she had protected killed Xena's son, and her bond with Xena was almost destroyed by lies and betrayals and anger.

"That covers everything, then," said Gwyn-Teir. "You should go and prepare Eve for the ceremony."

Poor Eve, Gabrielle thought as she rose from the bench. How confused she had to feel -- about to become part of a nation that had put her on trial for her life just the night before, that had viewed her, not unjustly, as a mortal enemy. Her mind took her back to the moment when she and Eve stood on the outskirts of the village watching Xena and Ares ride away, and when Eve said wistfully, "They look right together, don't they." She had looked at Eve in shock: the truth was that the same thought had hovered somewhere in the back of her own mind.

She wondered how long she should stay with Eve.

"Wait, Queen Gabrielle -- one more thing," Cyane said. "Since you will be initiating Eve into the tribe, you should be the one to mix the sacred ointment into the paint."

Gabrielle gave her a puzzled look. "Sacred ointment?"

"They didn't have that back in the old days," said a grey-haired woman named Meroe, an elder of Varia's tribe. "It was a gift we got from the goddess Artemis, some twenty-five summers ago, isn't that right?" She turned to another elder, from Cyane's tribe, for confirmation. "She gave it to three of the tribes."

Artemis? Strange... Artemis hadn't paid much attention to the Amazons, as far as she'd heard, in a very long time.

"What does it do?"

"It's meant to bring the blessing of the gods to the Amazons," said Cyane. "We use it in the most important rituals."

"The goddess said that as long as the ointment lasted, the Amazon nation would live and prosper," Meroe said reverently.

Gabrielle wanted to point out that Artemis had been dead for over a year, and that her gift had brought little luck to the Amazons when Livia attacked them -- but then decided that it was best to steer clear of that subject. Anyway, if the Amazons believed in something that gave them strength, perhaps it was better for them to go on believing.

Cyane went over to a carved chest in a corner, opened it and took out a small, well-polished silver vase.

"All you do," she said, "is take a dab of this on the tip of your finger and mix it with the paint before you put it on Eve's face, and say, 'With this sacred ointment, I invoke upon you the blessings of the goddess Artemis.'"

Gabrielle wondered if Eve, with her Elijan faith, would object to invoking the blessings of a pagan deity. But it was just a ritual, really; a silly ritual invoking a goddess who no longer existed -- no harm in that. Eve could do that much, to make amends to the people she had wronged.

Cyane lifted the lid. The crimson substance inside seemed to emit a faint glow in the half-darkness of the hut.

In that moment, everything changed.

Gabrielle was unable to stifle a short laugh, and quickly pretended to have a coughing fit as the queens and the elders gave her odd looks.

So Ares hadn't been so crazy after all, back when he had the Furies bouncing around in his head.

The Amazons did have ambrosia.


Continued in Chapter 9