Remi parked Jos's car in the parking lot of her apartment building, she jogged up to the door and pulled her spare key from its hiding place, opening the door was like opening an oven. She left the door open, went over to the two windows on the living room, and turned the square fans she had there on. Her next mission was to do the same in the other rooms, she had a small air conditioner but it blew more hot air the heater. Shedding out of her scrubs, she dropped them to the floor and went to the small kitchen. She knew that the only thing she had was a couple bottles of water and a wilted head of lettuce. Before she became a hostage, she had planed on grocery shopping, which changed quickly. Her whole life changed in a week's time and for once, it was for the better. Grabbing a bottle of water, she went over to her old couch, dropped down and flipped her TV on. Grabbing the antennae wire that ran under the couch with her toes, she shook it until channel 7 came in clearer than it was. "This sucks, I need to get a real job so that I can afford a new TV and a nice apartment." She put her feet up on the fourth hand coffee table and looked down at her filthy black feet. "Get some new boots and maybe some socks to go with them." She grabbed the newspaper off the couch and flipped to the help wanted ads, after running through half the page, she found something that didn't call for a PHD. Ripping that part of the paper out, she stuck it under a coaster and lay down to catch some sleep. "Gotta buy a bed to, Jos would fall over if she saw how I live."
The next morning, she used Jos's car to drive to the place that was advertising for a job position. Struggling from the small car, she straightened her pale blue button down and used the backs of her calves to polish the toes of her old cowboy boots. Slipping her sunglasses up on top of her head, she walked towards the doors to 84 Lumber. As soon as she walked into the place, she had everyone's attention. It was as if the men had never seen a woman before, she went up to the service desk and had to hold back her grin when all the male employees fell over each other to help her. "Can I speak to your manager; I'm here about the job opening?"
"Back off assholes!" A loud voice yelled behind Remi, she turned and rolled her eyes. "Hey Remi, what can I do for ya?" Petry asked and pointed a finger at one of her employees that was making lewd tongue motions. "Keep it up and I'll turn Jostyn loose on your scaggy ass!" She waved a hand at Remi and pointed to the office in the back. "Come back to my office before I break all their legs, god damn asshole men," After dropping down into her desk chair she asked. "So what brings ya here?"
"I need a job, I haven't checked with my boss but it's a good bet that I'm now unemployed. Besides, I need a job that pays more than six bucks an hour." She dropped down into the other chair and leaned back. "I want an adult job, ya know what I mean?"
"Know anything about lumber, nails, screws, roofing materials or building?"
"Nope, but I can learn."
Petry gave her a toothy smile and slid an application and a W-4 across the top of her desk. "Good you're hired, fill those out and I'll be right back with your uniforms."
"You're hiring me even though I don't know anything…it's not because of Jos is it?"
"Nope, I hate people who come in here and think they know everything. This way I can teach you everything you need to know and it'll be right." She patted Remi on her shoulder and headed out the door.
"Why can't all bosses be like her?" She pulled a pen from her pocket and filled out the forms, once done; she put them in the center of the desk and waited for Petry to come back. When she heard whispers, she turned her head and saw a couple of the men looking at her. "Have a problem I can help you with, like ripping off three small body parts?"
Petry stopped right behind them and growled. "Forget it, she's married and I know you don't want Jos to know you were discussing how you want to fuck her wife?" She grinned at Remi when they took off for other parts of the warehouse. "God damn assholes, I'd like to use a miter saw and cut their dicks off at right angles."
"I knew it; you guys would have us married before we even went out on a date."
Petry handed her the uniforms she was holding and shrugged her shoulders. "Face it Remi, both of them have you wrapped around their little fingers. I give ya six months and you'll be buying a house and getting a dog." She dropped into her chair and grinned at a flustered Remi. "What's the matter tough stuff, two little blondes got ya scared shitless?"
"To say the least, her mom wants to meet me. At least I can tell her that I have a job and can take care of them until Jos gets back to work…what did I just do?"
"You just proved that there's more to your feelings than friendship, don't worry, Jen dragged me kicking and screaming to our joining ceremony. I asked her why we had to go through it after living together for ten years, the answer I got was a good smack up long side the head and a threat to be sleeping on the couch for the next year." Her golden eyes twinkled at a slouching Remi, she handed her a paper and then sat back to enjoy the shocked look that was sure to come across her friends face.
"You're kidding right…I've never made twenty bucks an hour before?"
"Just don't tell any of the assholes out there, they didn't make that until they worked here for a year and made associate. As of right now, that's what you are," She tossed her a three-ringed binder. "Read that, that's everything you need to know to work here and then some, those are my own notes and no one else knows about them." She saw the dark brows wiggle and then bury themselves in shaggy bangs. "I'm grooming you for my assistant manager, now go home, get cleaned up and go get bullied by two little blondes. Tell Jos we'll be over after work to start spoiling that baby."
Remi stood up and reached across the desk to shake Petry's hand. "Thanks Petry, for everything and that includes helping with our kidnapping." She gave her a bright smile and walked from her office. As soon as Petry was alone, she grabbed the phone and called Jen at work.
*************
Remi checked to make sure that the glass pans were packed safe on the floor of Jos's car before pulling away from her apartment. After leaving 84 Lumber, she had stopped off at the grocery store and picked up some food to make for supper. After she started, she noticed how much she was making and groaned. She had enough manicotti to last her for a week, grabbing the phone; she called Jos and told her not to make supper that she was bringing some over. Pulling away from her apartment, she thought long and hard about her feelings for the two small blondes in her life. In such a short time, they had become very important to her and the trust that Jos showed her even knowing her phobia about kids was enough to make her heart swell. She wiped at her tear-filled eyes and sighed, she knew she was lost to them both and couldn't be any happier. "You fell in love with her in less than a week, you know she likes you but does she want more than friendship? A few kisses is nothing, I've kissed and been kissed plenty but it never meant that there was any love." Pulling into the spot in front of Jos's, she wiped her eyes and grabbed the box with their supper in it from the passenger floor. She opened the front door to Jos's and heard Winnie crying, putting the box on the coffee table; she went into Winnies room and found a tired Jos walking back and forth with a cranky baby.
"She's not a happy camper today; she had me up every two hours to eat and hasn't taken a nap today."
"I'll take her for a while so you can relax, suppers on the coffee table." She held her arms out and cuddled Winnie to her chest, holding out her finger; Winnie grabbed it and pulled it to her mouth. "Ya know you're too young to be doing that already but you go ahead and gnaw on my finger." With in seconds, the crying stopped and tear-filled blue eyes gazed up at Remi. She shrugged her shoulders and leaned over to give Jos a lingering kiss. "She has a thing for my fingers."
"Then I guess I'll just have to cut one off for when she gets cranky again." Jos wrapped an arm around her and leaned into her body, I'm so tired and mom's on her way over." She felt Remi stiffen and hugged her tighter. "Don't worry, mom's a little off the wall but she's mostly harmless."
"Ohh great, she doesn't carry a gun does she?"
"Nope, just one of those huge ass purses like all the other blue haired women carry. I think she has a set of Craftsman tools in it, damn thing weighs a ton." Going up on her tiptoes, she pulled Remi down for a quick kiss before heading out of the baby's bedroom. "What's for supper?"
"I made manicotti, a salad and my world famous dressing."
"World famous huh?"
"OK, so it's famous only in my kitchen." She rocked a sleeping Winnie on her way over to the kitchen and sat down at the table to watch Jos. It was then that she saw that she was barefoot and wore a faded pair of Levis and a thread bare t-shirt. A wicked grin came to her face when Jos bent over to get something from under the counter; she tried to erase the grin but got caught.
"What are you doing Remi?"
"Ohh nothing just thinking is all, did I tell you I got a new job?" She adjusted Winnie in her arms and leaned back in the chair. "My boss is cool and it's only the two of us, the rest are a bunch of asshole guys."
Jos placed the dishes on the table along with forks and then grabbed a gallon of milk from the refrigerator. "So where are you gonna work and is it better than the coffee shop?"
"With Petry, she hired me even though I don't know that much about lumber. She gave me her binder so I could learn the ropes so to speak." She narrowed her eyes when Jos's mouth dropped open. "What's wrong?"
"She doesn't let anyone touch that binder…"
"Guess she likes me and I'll warn ya now, if you go in there every guy will run the other way."
"In one day you scared them all, that's got to be a new record." She put a filled plate in front of Remi and then took the seat across from her. "It took Petry two days to scare all of them." She took a bite of food, closed her eyes and moaned. "I'll pay you if you cook for me every night, this is great."
"Ohh I didn't scare them, you did." She gave her a lopsided grin when she stopped mid chew and pointed to her chest. "Petry told them that…we're married and you're gonna kick their asses if they don't behave. She caught a couple of them discussing how they want to fuck me." She shrugged her shoulders and started eating.
"Damn pigs, I'm surprised she didn't kick the shit out of them."
"I think she wants to watch you do it, who knows, could be fun." She struggled to cut her manicotti and watched as her plate was pulled away and Jos started cutting up her food. When she was done, she slid it back over to her. "Thanks mama."
***
"Where's my granddaughter!" Mrs. O'Flannery yelled as she stepped into the apartment and walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She dropped her purse on the floor and the loud thunk made Remi jump in her chair. Taking off a pair of welders goggles, she dropped them on the table and held her arms out to Remi. "Come to granny so she can see what kinda sperm donor your mother picked." She looked into pale blue eyes and gave Remi a once over. "You must be Jos's best kept secret; she hates me getting into her love life so she never tells me anything."
Jos groaned and rolled her eyes at Remi. "Mom that's Remington Winchester, Remi, my mom Clarisse O'Flannery, royal pain in my ass and the worst match maker this side of the world. She's right up there with Jen and Petry."
"Well, it looks like we won't have anything to do now, go ahead and finish eating before it gets cold." She cuddled Winnie to her chest and smiled down at the small wonder in her arms. "What color are her eyes?" She looked up and saw Jos blushing so she turned to Remi. "Don't you dare tell me their green like every other O'Flannery and she better not have an Irish first name, we got enough of those. I can't keep all the Megan's, Maureen's and Kathryn's apart as it is?"
"They're blue ma'am and her names Winchester or Winnie for short."
Clarisse raised a white eyebrow; she looked to Jos and gave her a bright smile. "Same color eyes as Remi and you two are just friends huh?' She laughed at the shocked expressions on their faces and held up a hand. "Mel called me and told me everything that went on during the delivery, so when's my next grandbaby gonna be here?"
"What are you talking about mom?"
"You having another one, I want another basketball team." Remi grinned at a flustered Jos and tilted her head sideways to await her answer.
"Mom, I just went through delivery four days ago and why would I want to get pregnant already jeez?"
"I had all your brothers nine months apart, you came ten years later because the mailman was in prison on drug charges."
Remi's mouth fell open, she looked to Clarisse and then back to see Jos's eyes rolling. "Don't believe a word she said, my brothers and my father is not the mailman. Mom just liked to scare the Hell outta us when we were little."
"Your dad believed me and I keep telling him that I'm having an affair with Mel, senile old fool believes me. He thinks Mel is a man, even with those huge tits. I told him to go get new glasses but he keeps telling me there's nothing wrong with him." She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned like a maniac. "To prove he's blind as a bat and senile, I taped the beeper thing for his keys to his dick one night. The next morning he hit the little remote for his keys and couldn't figure out where the beeping was coming from. Took him all day to figure it out and then asked me why he put it there." Remi started choking, her face turned bright red and sweat formed on her forehead, Jos jumped up and pounded on her back. The entire time, she was glaring at her mom. When a deep ragged breath came from Remi, Jos pulled her to her chest until she was able to breath without gasping.
"You OK, I should have warned you about mom's pranks. She sewed all the fronts closed on my brothers jockey shorts after Tommy got Annie pregnant."
"Kept them from whipping it out and doing anymore sewing of wild oats, if they had good glue back then I would glued their dicks to their legs." When Winnie started to fuss, she stood up, handed her to Jos, and then took her seat. "Are you breast feeding or using that artificial crap that your sister in-laws used?"
"I'm breast feeding her for now, after that I'm gonna do like you did with all of us, she's getting real milk and cereal. Damn weird ass people and all their phony food, I don't believe one word about allergies and what ever else they blame on milk."
"Well, go ahead and feed Winchester and I'll give Remi the third degree."
"Ohh no you're not mom, I can feed her right here, plus you'll scare the Hell outta her and she'll run for the hills." She lifted her t-shirt up and slipped Winnie underneath; she looked to her mom and raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"I've seen tits before and I have no idea where you got all that damn modesty from, sure as Hell ain't from me. And I know for a fact that Remi's seen your tits, so pull that baby out from under there." Remi got up and helped Jos pull one arm out of her t-shirt and fixed it so that it was out of the way, she then cleared the table and started washing the dishes.
"Remi, I'll do those later. You cooked so I clean up."
"Nah, I'll wash the dishes, that way the cheese doesn't get like concrete." She gave Jos a shy smile and kept on washing the dishes.
"Damn Jos, she cooks and does dishes, your brothers are gonna be pissed. Those damn dummies they married couldn't make instant coffee or find the sink to put the empty cup in."
"Mom taught us all how to cook, she said if we couldn't cook our own meals when we went out on our own, then she was locking the doors. She wasn't running a soup kitchen, so either learn or starve."
"And all my kids can cook, good thing to when they found out their wives couldn't."
"I taught myself," Remi said over her shoulder. "But it's hard when you cook for one; I usually just make simple meals for myself."
"Better start planning them like you're feeding the 1st Marine Division, Jos can out eat them."
***************
Remi was putting Winnie to bed while Jos walked her mom out to her car, she looked down at her bare feet and then up into her mom's light green eyes. "Thanks for coming over mom and when is the party that I know you have planned?"
"On Friday and I will kick someone's ass for blabbing, which one was it?"
Jos grinned and chuckled, her brothers couldn't keep a secret to save their lives. "Every single one of them, you know they're all dense as granite."
"Bring Remi and she can help me," She pulled Jos into a hug and kissed her cheek. "I like her Jos, she's a little quiet and shy but she's a caring woman and she loves Winnie. I never pictured you with a woman that tall though and your brothers will drool over her."
"Just great, there'll be a bunch of crabby men when they get caught and end up sleeping on their couches, glad I don't live close to any of them…"
"Tell them you moved and give 'em Jen and Petry's address." She gave her another hug and climbed behind the wheel of her bright yellow Jeep. "You be sure and tell Remi that she passed my daughter in-law test."
"I will mom, don't speed on the way home, one more ticket and they'll take your license away." She waved to her mom and went back into her apartment to find Remi stretched out on her couch sound asleep. She sat on the edge of the couch at Remi's hip and ran her fingertips across her cheek; her fingers tingled and warmed against the silky skin. "You've won the hearts of three O'Flannery women," She whispered and felt her eyes grow misty and her heart beat rapidly with her words. "You had mine from the first time I looked into your eyes, I want more than your friendship. I want everything, I love you Remington." Using her other hand, she went to wipe the tears from her cheeks and felt warm fingers entwine with hers. She looked down to see misty blue eyes looking up at her and saw her own feelings reflected back.
"You have my heart Jos, and anything else you want." She pulled her down to lie on top of her; and then pulled her head down and poured all of her feelings in to her kiss. Minutes later when it broke, she kissed the tears from Jos cheeks and whispered in her ear. "I love you Jostyn O'Flannery." She hugged her to her body and buried her face in her hair. "You're a bigger chicken than I am; spill your heart when you think I'm sleeping."
"That way you couldn't run from me and disappear into the night."
"I love you but I'm gonna disappear into the night anyway, I have to get up early for work but first I have to jog to the coffee shop to get my car."
"No you don't, you're staying here and I'll drop you off at your car in the morning." She lifted her head and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Come to bed Remi, I'm exhausted and I only have a few hours before Winnie wakes up and wants to eat." She crawled off Remi, took her hand and pulled her up from the couch. "There's a new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet and there's one of my brothers shirts on the back of the bathroom door.
"Did you have this all planned out?"
"Nope but I was hoping, I missed you last night." She pulled her into her bedroom and flipped on the light. She turned to look into pale blue eyes and smiled. "It felt weird to not fight you for my pillow," She stepped into her body and placed her hands on her chest. "And not hear your grunting when I would steal it back."
"So it's just fighting with me in our sleep that you missed huh?" She grinned wickedly and kissed her quickly. "I can make a whole list of things but it can wait." She went into the bathroom off Jos's bedroom and striped out of her clothes, flipping them over the top of the door, she then started brushing her teeth and felt Jos step up behind her.
Jos had never seen Remi completely naked; she was shocked when she saw long white scars marring the smooth bronze skin of her back. She traced each one with a fingertip followed by a soft kiss. Placing her face against her wide back, she wrapped her arms around her waist and waited for her to finish. "How did you get all those scars?"
"Ohh I got into a fight with one of the boys in school and found out the hard way that the glass doors at the front of the building are not strong. He picked me up and threw me through them." She turned and pulled Jos into her body and felt her shiver. "I spent two weeks lying on my stomach until the sutures healed and the next two months sitting in detention for breaking the star cornerbacks nose and jaw."
"I would have done worse if he put me through the door."
"He did that after I hit him, he shouldn't have grabbed my tit." She smiled and then let Jos get ready for bed. Taking the side of the bed near the bedroom door, Remi rolled onto her side and hugged Jos's pillow to her chest. She had missed waking up wrapped around her in the morning and the sound of Winnie fussing with her first feeding. At the sound of the light switch clicking off, she looked to the door and saw Jos dressed in boxers and a half t-shirt coming towards her.
"Stole my pillow already and my side of the bed," She crawled from the foot of the bed and lay down behind her. "That means when Winnie starts crying, you get to get up."
"I don't mind getting up," She snuggled against Jos's body and rested her head beside hers. "I'll even change her diaper before I bring her in to eat."
***
Petry was standing outside the warehouse when Jos and Remi pulled up close to the doors; she waved and went over to hang inside the passenger window. "We were gonna come over the other night but Jen had cramps, so maybe once the curse is gone we can get together."
"How about Friday at my moms, she's throwing my surprise party. Plus, if you're there, you can help keep my obnoxious brothers away from Remi." Remi gave her a panicked look and felt her jaw drop. "Easy there tough stuff, if you survived mom, my brothers are nothing but big kids."
"I'll bring my old Playboys for them that ought to keep 'em busy for the whole day. Come on Remi, time to go play with the assholes and I'll show ya the computer stuff." She pulled out of the window and wiggled her hand at them. "Come on Jos give her a smooch so she'll be flustered the rest of the day plus it'll piss the peeping assholes off." She nodded her head to where some of the other employees were standing at the warehouse door.
"I would do that no matter if ya told me to or not." Jos leaned across the counsel, pulled Remi over to her and left her breathless and wobbly with her kiss. "I'll bring you guys lunch from China Fortune," She pulled Remi's head over so that she could whisper in her ear. "Love you now go scare the little boys."
"Love you too and bring lots of food, after all the manual labor I'll be doing I'll be starving to death." She reached over the seat and caressed Winnie's cheek before getting out and jogging after Petry. Jos sat and watched as her muscular form disappeared from sight and sighed. The way that Remi moved sent her blood pressure sky rocketing and made certain areas ache with need.
"Just great, just watching her move gets me horny. Not a good thing after having a baby, that area is not up for this." She pulled out of the parking lot and headed over to the newspaper, she wanted to drop in, talk to her boss and see Jen. She pulled her car in front of the newspaper building, got out and pulled Winnie from her car seat. No sooner had she stood up, then Jen was there and taking Winnie from her.
"How you doin baby Winnie?" Jen held her close and placed a kiss to her cheek. "Hope you keep your mommy awake all night long so that she'll have Remi move in with you guys."
"Conspiring against me with my own daughter, next you'll get with my mom, Laalaa and Peanut."
"Ohh we're gonna do that tomorrow, we're having special manacles made for you and Remi." She gave Jos a wide grin and walked into their building. "Please tell me that you're here just to visit and not work."
"Thought I'd come by and then go on maternity leave, get my laptop and do some work in the little bit of time I have before feedings." She sighed when she dropped into her desk chair and spun to face Jen's desk. "I may have to buy a cow, she's draining me to the point that my tits look like one of those African women that ya see in the National Geographic books. Ya know all saggy and hanging to my waist, I may have to get a wet nurse of two with her appetite."
Jen chuckled and raised an eyebrow at her friend. "So she takes after you more than you thought she would huh, just wait until she eats regular food. You and Remi will have to get second jobs just to feed her and be thankful you didn't have a boy."
"So you think Remi is gonna hang around?"
"Hell yeah, she's gone and why am I telling you something you already know?"
"So it's that clear how we feel about each other?" She grinned when Jen's eyes widened. "I thought she was sleeping and I spilled my guts," She picked up a pencil and spun it between her fingers. "I don't know why I was such a chicken shit but it worked out anyway. And this isn't gonna be one of those U-haul relationships, those never last like everyone wants them to. I want to get to know her better and after she sees just how bad I can get during my period, she may take off screaming."
"Ohh Hell Jos, I'm a total monster during that time and Petry hasn't run away yet. OK, so she hides in the basement a lot but she stays in the house." She placed a kiss on a now wide-awake Winnie's forehead and handed her to Jos. "You two spent a week chained together, you with your mood swings and Remi with panic attacks and you both survived. Nothing can be as bad as that, ya know chained to a total stranger."
"That's true and she stayed with me during the delivery even though I almost strangled her and her panic attacks don't seem to happen with Winnie." She told Jen about the kid in the bank and how Remi started to flip out the night that they found out that they weren't being rescued. She got up and waved a hand at Jen. "Come on I have to feed the bottomless pit and I'm not whipping out my tit in the middle of the office."
***
Remi watched as one of the guys she worked with struggled with a bundle of shingles, she shook her head, went over to the stack and threw two up on her shoulder. She snickered when he grunted and was unable to lift more than one; she knew damn well that 160 lbs was a lot for a guy who only weighed a little over a hundred pounds. She tossed them into the back of the pick-up truck and went over to get the last two for the customer. When finished, she pulled her gloves off and gave him a grin. "Ya ain't as tough as ya thought huh?" She knew damn well that she was going to have to prove herself here; it was like any other job that was dominated by men. She thought it was asinine but there was nothing she could do about it, she was accepted or she wasn't. She would have to work harder and do more than any of them for a while but that didn't bother her, she had a good paying job and it was worth it. She turned when she heard Petry yell her name and then grinned like an idiot when she saw Jos step up beside her. Hearing the men moan and groan, she grinned wider. No sooner had she stepped in front of Jos than she was handed a wiggling Winnie. "Sorry Winnie but my hands are dirty so you can't gnaw on my fingers." She leaned down, gave Jos a soft kiss, and then kissed Winnie on her forehead. "Is it lunch time already?"
"Yep, I brought lots of food; Jen's got it all in the office." She looped her arm around Remi's waist and gave her a tight hug. "So how is it so far, is Petry working you like a dog?"
"Hey!" Petry slapped her on her shoulder and shook her head. "I only do that with the lazy assholes, Remi's done ten times the amount of work than they have all week."
"Nope and the days gone by so fast, I guess it's because I've kept busy most of the morning. It's not like the coffee shop where we had slow times or a mad crowd yelling out at me."
********
That night, with her car back, Remi sat in her living room staring up at the ceiling. She was lost and didn't know what to do with herself, she reached under the couch and pulled out a paperback that she had found at the coffee shop a few weeks ago. Flipping to where she had used a matchbook cover for a bookmark, she continued reading the murder mystery. When she had read the same paragraph three times and still had no idea what she had read, she closed the book and dropped in on the floor. Rolling onto her side, she caught sight of the picture on the back. "Holy shit!" She grabbed up the book and looked at Jostyn's picture. "She's a published author, why didn't she tell me?" She grabbed the phone and dialed Jos's phone number, before she could say hello, Remi growled. "How come you never told me you're an author?"
"I have no idea and how did you find out?"
"I'm reading this book and I turned it over and there you were any more surprises I should know about?"
"I'm an exhibitionist and I'm totally naked and standing in front of my living room window?" She grinned when Remi moaned deeply and laughed when she heard the phone drop. "Ya know it feels funny when you press your tits up against the cold glass." She kicked her feet up on the coffee table and snickered at all the moaning and groaning coming over the phone. "So what are you wearing?"
"A lot more than you are, just my luck, you're naked and I'm not there to drool."
"Ohhh believe me, you would not be drooling that's for sure. I have a ways to go before I get my body back in shape; ya know all the baby weight."
"There's not one single thing wrong with you, and the only baby weight I have seen is Winnie herself. If she keeps eating like she has been, she'll be taller than me before she's a year old."
"You mention her and she wakes up," Jos listened for a few seconds and knew that Winnie was not going to fall back to sleep. "Time to feed the little bottomless pit, will you come over tomorrow after work, I'll cook supper?"
"After I run home for a shower, anything you want me to bring?"
"Nope, just you that's all I need is you." She wiped tears from her face and said goodnight to the one person besides her daughter that she felt complete and safe with. She wondered if her hormones were all out of whack because of her body changing after having Winnie. "Calm down Jostyn, everything is gonna go back to normal…well not normal but…stop thinking and go feed the little one."
*******
"Whatcha think Laalaa, will this be OK for Winnie?" Peanut held up a baby sized t-shirt that had 'Got Milk?' across the front. "Got this other one to," Holding up the other t-shirt that had 'Where's my boobs?' on it, "So whatcha think?" Laalaa rolled her eyes and dropped down onto their couch with a grunt.
"I think you're gonna get your ass kicked and I'm gonna enjoy the Hell outta watching."
"What did you get for Winnie?"
"Baby things, ya know stuff to amuse you and Remi." She held out a bag of baby toys and some other things that a mother never seems to have enough of. "Got lots of baby wipes, diapers and some other things."
Peanut snickered and pointed to the large box sitting by the front door. "She won't have to buy diapers for a while, Winnie will be in college and Jos will still have diapers." She dropped down on the couch next to Laalaa and grinned. "We gonna give Remi the t-shirt we had made for her?"
"Once we get to Jos's mom's house, we'll wait until the right moment, hand it to her and hide behind Jos." They had spent hours buying stuff for Winnie and gotten some very strange looks when they picked out clothes for a newborn. The sales lady kept watching them and finally asked them if they needed help with anything. Peanut gave her the once over, grinned and got slapped for asking if she could see the breast pump demonstrated. "Now remember, we have to meet Petry and Jen at the newspaper and follow them to Jos's moms. No side trips or anything that the voices tell you to do, ya got me?"
"Yep, so I'm not gonna tell ya that they said you're a meany and they hope your tits fall off in the middle of the night."
****
Remi had blown off going home for a shower, she had thought about Jos and Winnie all the previous night and the entire day while she worked. As soon as her shift was over, she ran to her car and broke some more rules of the road. She jumped from her car before it came to a complete stop and jogged up to her front door. Without knocking, she opened the door and froze mid step. Jos was lying on her back in the middle of the living room floor, her feet braced, she lifted her hips up and held it for a count of 20. Remi felt her heart slam in her chest and all the blood in her body rush southward, she knew Jos was doing her exercises to get her uterus back where it was supposed to be and strengthen the muscles but it hit her as something sexual. Watching her sent throbbing pulses to her center and made her knees go weak. "Gods have mercy on my sinning soul." She whispered and threw a hand out to keep her from falling to her knees, the noise of her slapping hand brought green eyes her way. "Sorry I scared you, I ahhh…tripped over my big feet."
"Bullshit Remi, I know you were watching me." She got up from the floor and walked over to her; she looked up and placed her hands on her chest. "You didn't go home first; supper won't be ready for another hour or so." She moved into Remi's personal space and pressed against her. "What should we do until then?"
"I'll leave that up to you since I seem to have a one track mind at the moment." She shivered when small hands grabbed her ass and squeezed. "And it's getting deeper in the sludge every second…" A pair of hungry lips cut her off, she felt herself sinking to the floor and then was pushed onto her back. Jos cupped her breasts and rubbed her now aching nipples with her thumbs; she moaned softly and wrapped a long leg over the backs of Jos's. As their tongues dueled, their blood pressures rose, they were losing control quickly. Remi rolled them over to their sides and broke their kiss; she dropped her head down and panted. "We have to…stop…you just had Winnie."
"My brain knows that but tell that to my aching and extremely aroused body, it's been years and you drive me nuts!" Remi lifted her head and stared down into dark green eyes; she groaned and fell over onto her back.
"What does Mel say…I mean when can you…I should just shut up before I dig a giant size hole and can't get out."
"Two weeks if I'm good and do all my exercises, only problem is because I'm breast feeding…I may not have lubrication and I may spray milk and be a little tender in my breasts and other areas." She rolled over to face Remi and whimpered. "This really SUCKS!"
"I know," She caressed Jos's cheek. "We can wait; we'll just take lotsa cold showers and picture disgusting things." She moaned and slapped her hands over her eyes. "It's not working; all I can see is you pressing your tits up against the window, I can't think of anything disgusting!"
"How about Peanut and Laalaa in thongs?"
"EEEWW…that works but will I be able to look them in their faces and not laugh?"
"Doesn't really matter, knowing those two, they'll laugh right along with you." She got up and offered a hand to Remi. "Come on it's time for supper and if I don't do something to keep my mind occupied I'll forget all about what Mel told me."
After supper, Jos fed Winnie and handed her to Remi to take care of while she cleaned up the kitchen and then went in for a shower. It would be the first time in a couple of days that she could take her time without worrying about Winnie. She was able to shave her legs, then soak in the bathtub and relax for a while. The whole time she thought of her and Remi making out on the living room floor and wished that they had met before she got pregnant. "I can wait another week and a half or so, I'll do those damn Kelgel's until I can't move if I have to. I just have to keep my hands and lips to myself, fat chance in that, I want her so bad I ache!" She sunk down into the lavender scented water until it went over her head and stayed there until she needed air.
****
"You know Winnie; I'm in deep shit with your mama." She rocked her and looked down into her bright blue eyes. "Can I hold out for another week and a half or so without going completely insane?" She sat down in the rocker in Winnie's room and started to sing in a clear voice.
Doctors come from distance cities
just to see me
Stand over my bed
Disbelieving in what they're seeing
They say I must be one of the wonders
Of God's own creation
And as far as they can see they can offer
No explanation
Newspapers ask
Intimate questions
Want confessions
They reach into my head
To steal the glory
Of my story
They say I must be one of the wonders
Of God's own creation
And as far as they see they can offer
No explanation
I believe
Fate smiled & destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
"Know this child will be able."
Laughed as my body she lifted
"Know this child will be gifted
with love, with patience and
with faith she'll make her way."
When she felt someone else in the room, she looked up to see Jos watching her with tear filled eyes. She stopped singing, lifted a now sleeping Winnie up from her lap, and placed her in her crib. "What's wrong Jos?" She stepped quietly up to her and pulled her into a soft hug. "Why are you crying?"
"Seeing you sitting there with Winnie and singing her to sleep reminded me of when my mom used to sing to me." She wrapped her arms around Remi's waist and cried into her chest. "Damn hormones," She mumbled and then chuckled lightly. "Maybe mom will give me some of her pills?"
"You'll be OK in a few weeks, you're body went though a lot."
"And I don't wanna go through that again for a few more years and never again in the summer." She lifted her head, wiped the tears from her face and gazed into clear blue eyes that were so much like her daughters. "Will you stay with me…I don't wanna be alone?" Remi took her hand and led her to her bedroom.
"I'll stay anytime you want me to, now get in bed and I'll be back after my shower." She gave her a soft kiss and helped her get into bed before heading to the bathroom.
***
Jos sat at her desk with Jen holding Winnie and trying not to bust out in hysterical laughter, she knew what her friend's problem was and had waited years to see it. With each thump of her forehead, she snickered. "You are one Hell of a mess Jos, are we gonna have to chain you to a wall to keep you from jumping Remi?" She smacked herself in the forehead and then pointed a finger at a grumbling Jos. "That's how this all started isn't it?"
"Go to Hell Jen and yes this is all your fault that I'm having problems controlling myself around that gorgeous, long legged, blue eyed, makes me drool woman." She dropped her head down onto her desk and groaned. "How in the Hell am I gonna keep from ripping her clothes off?"
"Easy, when she comes over, make her strip. No clothes, no ripping them off, no problem."
"Ohh HAAA!" She yelled and narrowed her eyes at a grinning Jen. "Like that's really gonna help me before, seven days, fifteen hours and eleven minutes is up?"
Jen blinked her eyes and then whispered to Winnie. "What is your mother talking about?"
"That's how long I have to behave myself; I even set the clock on the stove to go off then!"
***
Remi sat on the floor in the nail aisle, in front of her was a pan for the weighing scale. One by one, she dropped a twelve-penny nails in the pan and cringed at the sound. "What are you doing?" Petry asked from where she was standing behind her and looking over her shoulder.
"Keeping my mind off certain things that will drive me to insanity, plus, I'm trying to figure out exactly how many nails of each kind make up a pound."
"Ohhh OK, that's important information. That means I can toss the scale away and you can count nails all day," She dropped a hand down on Remi's shoulder and growled in her ear. "What are you running away from?"
"Not running, distracting. I'm trying to distract the reptilian part of my brain with…Gods I wanna nail her!" She threw all the nails she had in her hands in the air and fell back on the floor at Petry's feet. "We almost…ya know, last night but I had to stop her."
"You have more will power than I do," Petry offered her a hand and pulled her up from the floor. "Soooo whatcha gonna do until you two can?"
"I don't knoooow…" She whimpered and rubbed her face with her dirty hands. "Jos said to think of Peanut and Laalaa in thongs, all that did was make me stand in front of my mirror this morning in a thong to see if I looked as hideous as I think they must look and then wonder what Jos would look like in a leather one."
Petry placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a shake. "You're babbling and the only thing I can think of is poker."
"Poker? When I think of poker, I think of strip poker and cheating so Jos ends up naked."
"You be over our house tonight and I'll take your mind off sex, I'll call Peanut and Laalaa and we'll play some poker." She led a whimpering Remi past the other employees and growled. "Get to work or I'll turn a PMSing Jen loose on your asses!"
***
Jen and Jos went in to what Jen called her sunroom; Jos thought it was always hilarious since there were no windows in the small room where Jen worked at her PC. To make up for the lack of natural light, Petry put in strip lighting with grow-lite bulbs. What really made it weird were the chase lounges and round outdoor table with a huge umbrella. Jen handed her a pair of sunglasses and a floppy hat for Winnie before flipping all the lights on. "Now we're all set to just sit, catch some rays and drink phony spring water from the special filter on the kitchen sink faucet."
"You're the weirdest person I know besides Peanut and Laalaa."
"Speaking of them, they're coming over in a little while to play poker with Petry. Should be interesting since Petry's the biggest card cheat that I know and…" She wiggled her brows at Jos. "Remi's coming over to."
"Ohh Jesus Jen, what am I gonna do?"
"Just sit back, feed Winnie and let the kids play poker. Petry has a big bottle of bourbon so they'll be wasted in 30 minutes or so and passed out at the kitchen table."
"If that happens can we do horrible things to them, like shackle the four of them together?"
"Only three of them, if I chain Petry to the other three, they'll get in so much trouble that I'll have to take out a loan to get them out of jail."
"OK, so we'll think of something else." She thought for a few minutes and grinned. "We'll strip 'em down to their underwear and take pictures!"
"Jos, you just want a picture of Remi so you can put it as the background picture on your PC." She tilted her head to the side and grinned when she heard voices coming from the other part of the house. "Sounds like the gangs all here, I better go put their food on the table or Petry will make a huge ass mess. Just relax and I'll be back in a few minutes and don't worry, I won't tell Remi you're back here," She snickered and grinned. "Until she's sloppy drunk, disgusting and can't even think of anything but keeping the room from spinning, can't break Mel's rule that way now can you?" She left Jos sitting there with her eyes closed and a low whimpering that had become her normal sound.
"The woman is sexy as Hell when she's asleep, what makes you think she won't be that way drunk?"
********
When Jen walked into the kitchen all she could do was roll her eyes and squeeze past the motley crew. None of them had changed out of their work uniforms and were still filthy and rough looking. The worst of the four was Remi, her face had grayish and black stripes smeared and her hair looked like she had hung her head out her car window. Peanuts hair was standing on end and cracking with static electricity while Laalaa's was burnt and crispy looking on one side. "What in the Hell happened to you two?" She walked around them and shook her head.
"It's Peanut's fault as usual," Laalaa gave her housemate a glare. "We were rewiring a warehouse and she flipped the damn breakers on while I still had a hold of bare wires."
"Ohh stop complaining, I took them off you and your hairs only a little fried." She raised her hands out on either side of her own head and grinned at the crackling noise and the way her hair followed the movement of her hands. "Kinda cool huh, but I can't get near anything metal. Laalaa's fork stabbed me during lunch and I got stuck to the van door when we were leaving work."
"Dumbass is like a huge magnet, open the drawer with the silverware in it and we're all in trouble." Jen looked to her wife and Remi with a raised eyebrow.
"OK what's with you two and the dirty face Remi?"
"Ohh we were moving some of the older stock from the storage room and playing with nails," Petry replied and then went to the cabinet where she kept the seldom-used bottle of bourbon. "The guys refused to help so we did it all our selves, bad move on their part since I docked them the amount of pay for the hours that we worked." Jen waved a hand at Remi and stepped closer when she didn't blink.
"Are you in there anywhere…earth to Remi, what's with you?"
Remi blinked a few times and took a deep breath through her nose and then sniffed some more. "Jos is here isn't she?"
"And if she is?" Jen asked and crossed her arms over her chest. "She's meditating in my sunroom," She wiggled an eyebrow and gave Remi a lopsided grin. "She's so sexually frustrated that I may have to dump ice water on her head," She watched a dark blush creep up Remi's face and nudged her in the stomach. "Just what I thought, now have a seat, drink some bourbon and play nice or I'll come back in here and kick asses." She placed their food on the table, gave Petry a lingering kiss and was on her way back to the sunroom when she ran into Jos. "Would you believe that Remi sniffed the air and knew that you were here?"
Jos blushed and dropped her eyes down to a sleeping Winnie. "It's something that I've noticed lately, I maybe crazy but I can tell when she's close by. The hair on my arms stands up and my heart slams in my chest." She looked up with twinkling eyes and shrugged her shoulders. "Some kind of Remi radar, what are they doing in there?"
"Getting ready to pig out and play poker, Petry has her bottle out so it shouldn't be long before they're all drunk and stupid." She placed a hand on Jos's shoulder and held her back. "Where ya going and do you really think it's a good idea?"
"If you know where I'm going then why did you ask and I have to." She gave Jen a brief smile and headed towards the kitchen.
***********
"Ohh come on now Remi, what's wrong with having a couple drinks and playing some cards?" Petry waved the bottle in front of her and pointed to the tumbler on the table.
"Nah, it's not a good idea to drink…Jos is here and…"
"Remi's whipped Remi's whipped!" Peanut and Laalaa said in a singsong way.
"Jen lets me drink so I can't see why Jos will have a problem with you drinking." Petry tried again and then jumped when she was kicked in her ass.
"Stop the peer pressure or I'll kick you again." Jos moved around her, bent down, gave Remi a gentle kiss, and then handed Winnie to her. "Maybe she doesn't like to drink, ever thought of that?"
Remi looked up into twinkling green eyes and grinned. "I have a drink every once in a while…it's just that I didn't want you to think I was a drunk."
"Ohh Peanut it's worse than we thought, she's not only whipped but pussy whipped!" Laalaa jumped from her chair and hid behind a snickering Peanut. "Sorry Jos but it's the truth."
"Remi if you want to drink then do it, even if we were married I wouldn't pass judgment on you for having a drink. I'll even hold your head when you puke your guts out." She gave her one more kiss before raiding the refrigerator, getting something to eat and then taking Winnie back to the sunroom. When it was only the four of them left in the kitchen, Remi took the ribbing of her life. She made a promise to herself that she wouldn't get wasted and make a fool out of herself in front f Jos or the others. Three hours later, she was playing solitaire and watching the other three snore like chainsaws. When her mouth went numb, she had stopped drinking bourbon and switched to just Coke, she hated getting drunk and worse, the morning after. She looked up when she heard the shuffle of feet and saw a tired Jos stumbling towards her. "Hey Jos did you fall asleep back there with Jen and Winnie?"
"Yeah, we were relaxing and then next thing I knew I was waking up and Winnie was squirming." She looked around the table and grinned when she saw the other three with their faces stuck to the table top and dead to the world. "Guess they'll be paying for it in the morning," She took a drink from Remi's glass and realized that it was just plain Coke. "You didn't put anything in here?"
"Nope, I stopped after two, I don't like getting drunk or the hangover I usually have the next day. Where's Winnie?"
"She's asleep in the chair in Jen's sunroom; as soon as I get something to drink we'll be heading home. Remember, we have my surprise party to go to tomorrow afternoon."
"Guess I should head on home after I take care of the coma patients here, is Jen awake?"
"Yeah, I'll go get her while you throw Peanut and Laalaa on the floor." She grinned at Remi's dropped jaw and headed out of the kitchen.
"See that I can throw you two on the floor and it'll just be following orders from my boss." With a low moan, she scrubbed her face; she knew she was in deep if she was thinking of Jos that way. She looked up when Jen came into the kitchen and laughed at the drunks. "I can carry Petry to your bedroom if you want or try and wake her up."
"Nah that's OK, she's easy when she's like this." She walked over to her wife, grabbed her ear and pulled her head up off the table. With her other hand, she pulled back an eyelid and then yelled in her ear. "Move your ass or you're sleeping on the kitchen floor!"
"Ya gonna make me go in the kitchen ta sleep?" Petry slurred and blinked her one eye. "Ya'll mean and nasty…" She stopped when she noticed the table in front of her and Remi's blue eyes rolling. "OK never mind…" She stumbled when she got up and used the wall to keep from falling. "Going ta bed…baby…hold my head for me?"
"Would you drop the other two drunks on the couches in the living room; they can sleep it off and not be slobbering on my table. Plus, who wants to look at them during breakfast? Thanks for coming over and c-ya tomorrow." Jen shivered and rubbed her goose flesh covered arms as she walked after her stumbling, slurring wife. After putting Peanut and Laalaa on the couches, Remi waited until a still sleepy Jos came into the kitchen with a fussing Winnie
in her arms. She held out her hands and took the baby and cuddled her against her chest, a broad grin came to her lips when Jos sighed and shook her head.
"You have her for a split second and she calms down, it's just amazing and frustrating at the same time."
"It's amazing that she's the only one who doesn't drive me to panic attacks, now put me near a playground and I'll climb the nearest tree to get away from those ankle biters." She leaned down for a quick kiss and then walked towards the kitchen door. "I'll drive you home…I don't want you driving while your still half asleep."
"You don't have to do that, I'll be fine and…" She gave up when she saw the stubborn look on Remi's face. "OK but you'll have to pick me up tomorrow afternoon." Remi gave her a bright smile and held the door open for her; it was when they got out to her car that Jos noticed the brand new baby seat in the back. She gave Remi a raised eyebrow and smirked. "You bought a car seat for Winnie?"
"Well yeah, that way we don't have to keep taking the other one in and out of your car if I drive us somewhere." She strapped Winnie in the seat and then held the door for Jos to get in. "Should I bring something for the party tomorrow?"
"Nope just you, it's all that I need, mom will have so much food there that we'll end up bringing some of it home with…" She blushed and looked down at her twisting fingers. "I just threw us into the same house didn't I?"
"Yeah ya did but I am at your place more than I'm at my own apartment." She closed the car door and ran around to the other side; she shook her head and then climbed behind the wheel. "To be honest, my apartment sucks and isn't fit for rodents to live in. But now that I have a good paying job I'm gonna look for a better place and I'm even gonna buy a bed." She looked over at Jos and saw her mouth hanging open. "I sleep on my couch…I never thought of buying a bed to sleep in…never had any reason…"
"What did you do if you brought someone home to you know?"
"I never had anyone over to my apartment for sex; I always went to their place so that I could…run away afterward." She felt her face heat up with her admission. "I acted like a guy most of the time; I got what I needed and took off afterward. You're the only one that I ever slept in a bed with." A few minutes later, they were pulling into Jos parking space and getting Winnie from her car seat. Remi carried her while Jos carried in her diaper bag and opened the door for them. She took a deep breath and asked before she lost her nerve.
"Would you consider bringing a spare set of clothes to keep here, you know for when you stay over that way you wouldn't have to run home before going to work?"
"I have clothes in my trunk; I always keep a spare set because I never know what's gonna happen." She carried Winnie into her room and placed her on the changing table. "I got covered in donut batter the one day when the damn mixer blew up, I had to go the whole day looking like I huge dough ball. So after that I put a bag in my trunk for just in case reasons." She knew she was babbling but didn't know why, so she put it down to being tired and letting Jos further into her weird life. After Winnie was changed and had a clean sleeper on, she put her in her crib and turned off the light. When she turned, she found Jos standing in front of her. "She's all set and I should…" Fingers covering her lips stopped any further words.
"Go take a shower and come to bed, it's late and we're both exhausted." She took her hand and led her to the bedroom. "Do you know that you've spent the whole night with a filthy face?" She cast a smile over her shoulder and saw Remi shaking her head. "Yep and no one said a word but I have to admit, even filthy you're still sexy as Hell."
***********
Remi pulled along side the curb in front yard of Jos's parent's house, she looked to the small boy who was pointing to the open spot in the grass with an orange flag. She shrugged her shoulders and pulled in even though she thought it was a bad idea. "This looks like the parking lot for a concert, how many relatives are gonna be here?"
"Knowing my mom, she invited every relative from the surrounding three states. Don't worry, she'll only introduce you once and it'll be all over with." Gathering Winnie's stuff, she waited until Remi had the baby in the front pack she had gotten from Jen, wrapped an arm around her waist, and hugged her. "We don't have to stay all night, a few hours and we can escape."
"Just let me know when you want to leave and we'll get out of here." She let Jos walk in front of her and held back a moan when she saw how tight her Levis were. She let her eyes travel up her body to strong shoulders and noticed for the first time how long her hair was getting. Before it barely touched her collar, now it hung way below it and was close to touching her shoulders. She had the sudden urge to bury her face in the soft hair and inhale the scent of her strawberry shampoo. She took a deep breath, followed Jos around the side of the house, and froze at the huge crowd of people wandering around the back yard. She felt panic taking hold and was about to turn and run until Jos wrapped an arm around her waist.
"Easy there tough stuff, they're just relatives and they will love you." She looked around the crowd of fifty or more and pointed to where their friends were at the far edge of the yard with Mel. "Why don't you take Winnie over to see Mel while I find my mom and dad?" She gave her a quick kiss and started to thread her way through all her relatives, stopping every now and again to say hello and give or get a hug. What seemed like hours later, she found her mom by way of her voice coming over a set of speakers. She shook her head when she saw the microphone in her hand and her dad with his hands covering his ears. "What are you doing mom trying to deafen everyone in one shot?"
"There you are I was wondering if you had made it yet and where's your girlfriend and my granddaughter?" Jos chuckled at all the words that came rushing from her mom in one breath and pointed to the far side of the yard.
"Everyone's over there with Mel," She took her parents hands and led them back through the crowd. "You haven't seen your granddaughter yet dad; I was expecting you to show up on my doorstep."
"I would have to but I couldn't find my car keys and mama wouldn't let me drive her Jeep, she says I drive like a little old woman."
"You do you old buzzard, I walk faster than you drive and with my phlebitis that ain't too fast."
"I'm just a careful driver nothing wrong with that ain't that right Jos?"
"Anything you say dad," She knew her dad drove at the warp speed of fifteen miles an hour and waited days for traffic to disappear from intersections. "Now don't scare Remi, she's a nervous wreck around all these people and if a kid gets near her, she may have a panic attack and run like Hell."
"I may join her," Her dad mumbled and gave one of his sons a terrified smile when he waved at him. "If one more of my sons asks if I want to baby-sit again, I'm moving in to an old ladies home."
"You already live in one, you're just lucky I don't charge you room and board." Mom said and chuckled when Jos gave her a funny look. "What, I'm an old lady ain't I and he lives in my house?"
*************
Mel looked over the tops of everyone's heads and saw Jos's dad, which wasn't that hard since the man was six foot six and towered over everyone. She knew by the look on his face that he was ready to run and hide out in his garage. "There they are," She said and patted Remi on her arm. "Don't worry, Clarisse will only embarrass you half a dozen times and Jos's dad is a quiet guy." She gave Remi a big smile and then walked up to grab Jos. "We need to have a little talk like right now and don't worry about Remi, Jen will save her from your mother."
"Talk about what, there's nothing wrong with Winnie is there?" Mel patted her on her shoulder and gave her a bright smile.
"Ohh she's perfect, the talk we need to have concerns something else. Now let's go in the house where it's not so damn loud or crowded." Jos was ready to mimic one of Remi's panic attacks; she always got worried when Mel wanted to have one of her famous talks. It was worse than when her mom wanted to talk although most of the time her mom didn't make any sense what's so ever. "Ohhh for Christ sakes calm down already," Mel said and closed the back door to the kitchen. "Now grab me a beer and have a seat, my legs are killing me from all the standing and my ears are ringing from your mom and her microphone." Jos grabbed a beer for Mel and a can of Coke for herself before dropping into a chair; she spun the can on the table and looked up with worried green eyes.
"What's wrong, there's got to be something or else you wouldn't…"
"Dam it all to Hell Jos, just stop your babbling and listen to me. There's nothing wrong, what I want to know is how you're doing since I last seen you. Any medical problems, spotting or anything else?"
Jos sighed with relief and gave her a small smile. "No, everything's been fine and I've been doing my exercises and taking those vitamins you gave me."
"Good, then when you get home tonight, jump Remi's bones." She snickered at the wide green eyes and held up a hand. "That poor woman is so on edge that she might explode, it'll do ya both some good just no penetration for you. I know you're probably not hurting but give your body some time to heal all the way."
"Jesus Mel, you had me close to having a coronary. How can you tell that Remi's in that kinda shape?"
"Easy, I stood there and watched her watch you walk away. She had such longing in her blue eyes that I thought she was gonna fall over right there, so I asked her if you two had intercourse yet and when her mouth dropped open and she turned crimson I knew that you two haven't done anything."
Jos dropped her head onto the table and moaned, she knew that Mel would blurt out a question like that right in front of everyone. "I was going to ask you about that today because I wasn't sure," She lifted her head up and rubbed her face. "She's not the only one whose been suffering, I jumped her the other day but she stopped me. She said it was too soon and I should check with you."
"Well now you know my answer and don't worry, your friends didn't hear us talking." She downed her beer and nodded her head towards the door. "Come on let's go rescue everyone before your mom drives them nuts."
When they finally made it to where everyone was, Jos almost fell over. Surrounding Remi were all her nieces and nephews and she wasn't in panic mode, she was actually smiling and running her fingers through one of the smaller kids messy blonde locks. "I can't believe it, she's not hiding in a tree or screaming off in another direction."
"I think it's because those kids are all O'Flannery's and they look like you and no matter what, she loves you and that's changed her. Now go be clingy and stake your claim so your brothers will behave themselves, I saw Johnnie giving her the eye earlier and you know what a dog he is."
"Sure I do and if he lays one finger on her, she'll break all his limbs." She squeezed between two of her eight nieces and stepped up to a beaming Remi. She couldn't believe the change in her and was thankful all the same. "Are you OK, they can be a handful but they're all good kids."
"I'm fine and your mom was right, they all look the same. Blonde hair and green eyes, it's like a cloning project around here."
"I know and the worst part is that we can't keep the right names with the right kid, or who belongs to what set of parents. Winnie will be different, with her blue eyes no one will forget who her moms are." She watched a bright smile come over Remi's face that made her heart skip a beat, she leaned into her body and pulled her head down for soft kisses. She froze with her lips brushing Remi's when she heard a deep voice behind her.
"Damn and I thought she was available, figures the hottest woman here is with my sister."
"How would you like me to tell mom about your roaming dick Johnnie, I'm sure her and your wife of 25 years would just love to take turns cutting off body parts."
"Hey now, I'm just too much man to satisfy just one woman." He gave Remi a huge smile and winked a green eye at her.
"In that case, I have two women that would just love to be satisfied." Remi placed a finger over Jos's lips and waved at Peanut and Laalaa. "Come over here you two, why don't you take Johnnie here and have some fun with him." She wiggled her brows at them and nodded her head towards Johnnie. "Show him what your specialties are, you know, the toys you two like to play with?"
Peanut slapped hands with a grinning Laalaa; they grabbed Johnnie by his hands and dragged him around the back of the house and out to where their van was parked in the front.
"Ohh my God, what did you just do to my brother?" Jos asked and tried not to bust up laughing.
"He thinks he's a stud, so who better to take care of him then those two?" She pulled Jos against her side and whispered in her ear. "They have all kinds of stuff out in their van and he's gonna suffer big time. Speaking of suffering, there's two little hands that keep pumping on me. Winnie's starving and she can't figure out why the well is dry." Jos helped Remi out of the baby pack and then carried Winnie up to the house to feed her, she stopped and saw that a pair of pale blue eyes had followed her the entire way.
"God I love you Remi." She whispered and kissed Winnie's forehead before going inside. She went in to the living room and found her sister in law who was married to Johnnie; she gave her a smile and then dropped down on the couch opposite her. "Couldn't take his shit any more huh?"
"Nope, the rat bastard was hitting on our son's girlfriend. I hope he gets his teeth knocked out one of these days." She slammed the glass of whiskey she held and slumped in the chair. "I'd poison his ass if I thought I could get away with it."
"Well Darla at this very moment he's with two nut cases that will have him praying for death, he might survive and he might not." She gave her a bright smile, got up from the couch and headed to her old bedroom to nurse Winnie. "I hope they do horrible nightmarish type things to you dear asshole brother of mine."
********
"Hey Laalaa is this all the electrical tape we have?" Peanut held up a brand new case of bright yellow tape and waved it in the air.
"Nope, we got some black stuff two," She held up bright yellow wire caps. "Think these will work, ya know big enough?"
"Yep, if not we'll just force them on, glue them if possible." She grabbed a hand full of the caps, a roll of wire and helped Peanut with the cases of tape. "I hope this is what Remi wanted us to do." They crawled out of the van, looked down at a bound, and gagged Johnnie lying in the grass. "To bad we left the shackles and chains at home, good thing we got plenty of wire with us." She looked to her right and saw Petry coming towards them; she grinned and waved her over. "Wanna help us; we thought maybe we'd turn him into one of those lawn jockeys's?"
*********
"I don't know about you Remi but these people are all strange as Hell and I need a beer, let's sneak into the house before one more of her uncles hits on one of us." Jen took Remi's hand and ran with her to the safety of her parent's house; they found Petry, Laalaa and Peanut sitting in the living room with a very amused Darla. Jen knew the second she saw her wife that they had caused a huge problem. "What did you three do this time and do I really want to know?"
"Ohh it was Remi's doing, I just helped a little." Petry gave Jen her puppy dog look and crawled across the floor on her hands and knees. "It's really not that bad and you'll see when we leave tonight." She tapped Remi on her foot and pointed down the hallway. "Jos is in her old bedroom feeding Winnie; we think she might have fallen asleep in there. It's been quite a while since we saw her, ya might wanna check."
Remi looked down the hallway and back at her friends; she shrugged her shoulders and went to find Jos. She stopped outside a door that was partially open and peeked inside; there was Jos asleep on her back with Winnie at her side. Quietly, she stepped into the room and crawled up on the bed to lie beside her to watch her sleep. Her eyes followed the length of her neck down to where her shirt lay open to her waist, running a fingertip across the top of one breast, she leaned down to place a whisper of a kiss on warm skin. "What are you doing Remi?" Jos asked with a sleep-roughened voice.
"Worshipping you," She nuzzled her neck, wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her ear lobe between her teeth. "When can we go home?"
"As soon as I get my fill of BBQ ribs and anything else I can fit on my plate," She rolled over careful not to bump Winnie and pressed her body along the length of Remi. "Then we'll tell mom and dad and sneak out of here under the darkness of night."
**********
Remi was still amazed at the amount of food Jos could eat, she not only had two plates already sitting before her but had asked Remi to get her another one filled with home made macaroni and cheese. "Uuhhmm Jos, didn't we stop for hamburgers before we came over here?"
"Yeah but with all the milk I have to produce for Winnie, I have to eat more. But don't worry after these plates are empty, I have a blueberry cheese cake waiting for me in the house." She gave a horrified Remi a quick kiss, wiped the BBQ sauce from her chin and went back to eating like a starved dog. Remi moaned and looked up to see twinkling green eyes of Jos's dad watching her.
"I sure hope you have a good job, you'll need it to feed her and Winnie. She ate more than any of her brothers when they were all still at home and when she moved out our grocery bill was cut in half."
"I think I'll see about buying a cattle farm or at least investing in some shares of the Purdue Company. Maybe get a milk cow for when Winnie stops nursing, I can just run a hose from the cow right to Winnie's high chair."
"Already beat you to the stocks in Purdue and I'll warn ya, I'm barred from every all you can eat restaurant in the surrounding states." She grinned at her dad and Remi and pulled the plate with macaroni and cheese closer to her.
"Well, I'm going to hide in the garage before your brothers find me," he turned to leave and looked over his shoulder. "I haven't seen Johnnie; I hope he's not off with some strange woman again." He shrugged his shoulders and ran for his garage as soon as one of his sons yelled his name.
"He's been running from your brothers all night, why?"
"Because they're all a royal pain in the ass and want dad to teach their sons how to hunt and fish so that they can sit home and watch sports on TV. I told them that it was their job to teach their kids, not mom and dad."
"OK, so are you gonna teach Winnie how to hunt and fish?"
"Of course I am I love to fish. Hunting I don't get into, but I can teach her how to tie fly fishing lures and catch trout." She finished eating and looked up into pale blue eyes. "Do you fish, if not I can teach you?"
"Yeah I fish, I even have my own rod and tackle box."
"Good, we'll go fishing tomorrow if you want. Right now I hear my cheesecake calling me." She handed Winnie to Remi and then got up to head for the kitchen. "Come on, I'll even share some with you."
*******
The entire way back to Jos's, Remi shook, shivered and moaned. Jos had her hands everywhere on her body and in some places that hadn't been touched in years. If not for Winnie being in the back seat, she would have stopped the car and let Jos do anything she wanted. "She's trying to give me an aneurism or a coronary!" She thought to herself when a warm wet tongue slipped into her ear and then teeth nipped at her ear lobe. As soon as the car stopped, Jos grabbed Winnie, ran to the front door and slipped inside. Remi groaned at the wetness between her thighs and struggled to get out of the car; she grabbed the diaper bag and walked stiffly into the house. "I'm a dead woman." She mumbled before slipping into the house and then knew it was true when a half-naked Jos came walking towards her. The diaper bag slipped from her fingers and fell at her feet when Jos dropped the shirt she had been wearing on the floor. She stood stock still when nibble fingers unfastened her Levis, pushed them to floor and then pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it to the side. "Jos…should we…be doing this?" Her head fell back against the door with a thump when warm lips latched onto an aching nipple.
"I'm taking my doctors orders…," She dropped to her knees and helped Remi step out of her shoes and Levis. "She told me to jump your bones." She grinned when Remi moaned and started to slip to the floor. "And that's exactly what I'm gonna do for the next several hours or until when one of us passes out." She stood and pulled Remi back up with her. "But you're not gonna pass out right now or have a panic attack, right now, you're coming with me to our bedroom." She took Remi's larger hand in hers and pulled her behind. When she stopped before her bed, she spun Remi around and shoved her back onto the bed. Climbing up the length of her body, she stopped when she was hovering above her with her knees on either side of her waist. "The only thing and as much as I hate the idea of not doing it is I can't feel your fingers in me." She dropped her head down to take Remi in a hungry kiss that stole her breathe. Remi moaned deeply when Jos lowered herself down and pressed their breasts together, slowly, she moved against her and slipped a muscular thigh against Remi's wet nether lips. She knew that she had caused the abundance of wetness on their way home and it took all of Remi's self-control to get them home without running into something or someone. Nipping at her chin, she moved her way down to nip at the soft flesh above each breast. When Remi moaned and moved up against her, she bit harder until she left red marks and the imprint of her teeth. "When I'm done, you'll be luck to have the energy to breath." Jos said is a raspy voice that sent tingles to the tips of Remi's toes.
She moaned and arched her back when wet lips covered a nipple and sucked gently while fingers squeezed its twin. Every nerve ending in her body was on fire and arcing against each other, shivers ran across her scalp when blunt fingernails scraped across it. Her lips kiss swollen and begging for more as Jos searched every crevice with the tip of her tongue. She wrapped her arms around her lover and pulled her tighter against her body; she pushed her hips upward and ground against Jos's thigh. Deep moans escaped her throat from the contact; she needed more but was denied. Their kiss broke leaving her panting and her head pressing back into the bed. Wet lips kissed and tongue licked its way down the center of her writhing body. She gasped when her naval was speared and then circled without abandon. She grabbed the sheets with one fist and sweat dampened hair with the other. "So wet and swollen." Jos whispered before she licked at the area above her clit. "Lift your knees up for me." She moved so that she was lying between her lover's knees and wrapped one arm around a thigh, looking up, she caught silvery blue eyes watching her and felt her heart stop. "I love you Remi." She dropped her head down and took her first taste of her lover's offering. Moaning deeply, she slipped her tongue deeper and felt her center pulse against her tongue. Licking slowly at first, she pushed Remi closer to the brink and held her there with lingering touches of her fingertips and soft licks. With her free hand, she dragged the backs of her fingernails up the inside of her thigh and felt her thrust harder against her mouth. Spearing her tongue into her center, she drank greedily and felt every muscle in her lover's body tense. She moved her mouth, pulled the sheath back from her clit and stroked the very tip with her tongue while pushing two fingers deep inside her. Pulling them back a little, she searched for the area where she could feel a slight pulse point and stroked it. Remi arched off the bed, screamed out her name and came in a gush of juices. She thrust with each after wave and whimpered from the sucking of her clit. Seconds later, she was yelling again as another stronger orgasm swept her up. Colors flashed behind her eyelids and buzzing erupted in her ears, she could vaguely feeling anything and then life came back into her body from a deep kiss. Small tremors ran through her and settled around her center and the fingers still within her. "I can still feel you quivering around my fingers," Jos whispered against her lips. "I want to feel you come against me." She removed her fingers and positioned herself so that their clits were pressed up against each other. Bracing her hands on Remi's shoulders, she thrust against her and moaned.
"I love you Jos," Remi whispered before capturing her lips and wrapping one leg over her hips. Pushing up against her, she ground their clits together and felt Jos start to tense up. She broke their kiss and watched her lover climax. The howl that came from Jos reminded her of a wolf and the bite of her fingernails sent her over the edge again. They clung to each other and felt the tremors dwindle to just small twinges before Jos lifted her head from Remi's chest. She wiped sweat from Remi's upper lip and cupped her face with one hand. "Make love to me Remi."
*********
Jen tried calling Jos again and all she got was her answering machine, she cast her wife a narrowed look and hung up the phone. "Still no answer, I wonder if they went to Remi's house and I bet she didn't see what you three did to her brother?"
"But baby, Remi said to play with him," she cast a look to Laalaa and Peanut who were spinning in circles watching the ceiling fan blades. "Ain't that right you two trouble making idiots?"
"Huh…oh yeah Remi said to play with Johnnie." Peanut replied and then snickered.
Laalaa slapped hands with her cohort. "I wonder if they got all the electrical tape off him?"
********
"I wish I had thought of this when you were a teenager," Mom said as she walked around her son where he was taped to the light pole in the front yard, she flipped the flashlight on that was taped in his hand and smiled. "I think I'll leave you here until morning, let the neighbors see what a freak you are." He tried to talk but the roll of tape in his mouth made his words garbled. "At least for once we'll know your dick ain't in some whore." She walked back into the house and grinned at her husband. "That'll teach him to mess with his sister's friends."
"Just glad that I didn't piss Remi off, it could have been me out there."
"Don't worry old man; she would never do anything like that to you. You're a harmless old thing unlike our asshole whoring son Johnnie, come on lets go to bed before I come up with something else to do to him."
*********
Remi looked up the length of her lover's body and saw her feverish green eyes watching her. She flicked her tongue across her swollen clit before pulling it between her lips, flicking the tip; she pushed her over the edge. Holding onto her hips, she held her tight and kept sucking until she sent her over the edge again with an ear-piercing scream. When she sunk limply into the mattress and whimpered from the shockwaves still raging through her body, Remi crawled up to hover over her. Leaning down, she licked at the sweat running down between her breasts and then over to a hard nipple. She dragged her tongue across each one and pressed her wet center down into Jos's wet mound. She slowly moved her hips and pressed harder until she grunted with the orgasm that she had been fighting to hold back. She collapsed on top of Jos and then rolled to lie beside her, closing her eyes, she let the waves roll through her body and drifted off to sleep wrapped around her lover. Jos ran her fingers through her wet hair and brushed it back from her high sculptured cheekbone, pressing a kiss to her parted lips, she then whispered. "You're an unbelievable lover and I'm never letting you go." She wrapped her arms around her and joined her in sleep.
*******
Jen looked at the clock on the microwave and sighed, she had been trying to reach Jos all night and now she was worried. She grabbed her car keys and went into the living room to find her wife and their two friends watching WWF. She leaned over Petry kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear that she was going over to check on Jos. "OK, if you need help just call and we'll come over." Jen kissed her one last time before running out the front door and jumping into her car. It was so unlike Jos to not be home at ten o'clock at night or to at least call her to just talk. She sped down the street, made two rights and then a left onto Jos's street. She pulled beside Remi's car and looked up to see lights on. "Alright you guys are home so why aren't you answering the phone?" She jogged up to her door and used her key to unlock the door, the first thing she saw were the clothes on the floor and a whimpering coming from Winnie's room. Walking as quietly as she could, she went in and lifted Winnie from her crib. "Someone must have a dirty diaper on and starving, where's your mama and Remi?" After changing Winnie, she walked into Jos's bedroom and had to cover her mouth to keep her chuckle from waking them. The lingering scent of sex hung in the air and two bodies were still wrapped around each other. "Now I know why no one answered the phone, they were busy." She whispered to Winnie and left the bedroom. "Guess I'll let them sleep and get you a bottle from the refrigerator that is unless mom didn't make you any." She went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle, taking the top off; she placed it in the microwave and stood there. She pulled the bottle out after the beep and made sure that it wasn't too hot. "OK Winnie, if this one doesn't fill you up, I'll have to wake up your mom."
"Jen what are you doing here?" Remi asked with a thick voice and rubbed her bloodshot eyes. Jen turned and knew that her chin was on the floor, her wife was muscular but nowhere near the way that Remi was. And the bronze color of her skin that was every inch of her.
"I called all night and I got worried when no one answered…jeez do ya have to run around naked?"
"No, but I didn't expect to find you in the kitchen either." She gave her a grin and turned for the door. "I'll be back in a minute, if I find my clothes that is." She walked stiffly to the living room and groaned when she bent over to pick up her t-shirt. She had a bit of soreness but knew that it would go away in the next day of two, pants wouldn't feel too good rubbing against her so she just pulled her t-shirt on and went back into the kitchen. "I woke up when I heard you moving around in here."
"And I'm sure if I had been a burglar, I would have dropped over from seeing you bare ass naked." She gave Remi a bright grin and adjusted a hungry Winnie in her arms. "So Mel gave you two the OK?"
Remi turned from grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator and gave Jen a raised eyebrow. "Does everybody know what Jos and Mel talked about?"
"Nope, just me," She blushed and looked down at the empty bottle in her hand. "I talked to Mel before you guys got there, I knew that there was no way in Hell that either one of you could last out the week and a half without losing your minds." She looked up into twinkling blue eyes and smiled. "I knew damn sure that Jos would lose before the night was out, she hasn't dated anyone in years and then with her pregnancy."
"I had no sex life what's so ever." Jos grumbled and dropped down on to Remi's lap. "So it was your idea to talk to Mel, sneaky damn thing. Are ya sure you're not related to me?"
"Quite sure, unless we're twins and I was given up at birth, Winnie's still starving and she doesn't have anymore bottles." She handed her over to Jos and leaned back in the chair. "So now that I know you two aren't shackled in someone's basement, I'm gonna go home, kiss Peanut and Laalaa for getting you two together and drag my wife to bed."
"They're over at your place?" Remi asked and then went back to watching Winnie nurse.
"Yep, they were watching wrestling or something when I left and before I forget, do you know what they did to your brother?"
"Do I want to know what they did to Johnnie?"
"He's now a yard Jockey; they taped him to the light pole in your parent's front yard. What's even better is he's covered in tape except for his nuts and dick and there's a for sale sign hanging around his neck."
"How did they get him taped to the pole to begin with, I can't see Johnnie willingly letting them do that?"
"Easy, they asked him if he wanted to have a threesome and as soon as he had his clothes off; they handcuffed his ass and tied him up. He thought it was gonna be kinky sex and not public humiliation." She got up from her chair and went over to the kitchen door. "Get some sleep you two, ya'll look worn out and I mean that in more ways than one." She laughed all the way out the front door and to her car; she pumped a fist in the air and looked up at the stars. "We did good didn't we?" She had no idea who she was asking but that was OK, she knew deep in her heart that Remi and Jos belonged together.
**********
Remi dropped her head down to rest on Jos's shoulder; she closed her eyes and listened to the noises Winnie made as she nursed. A grin came across her face when the sounds reminded her of something else.
"Stop that."
"Huh…stop what?" She asked and nuzzled Jos's neck.
"Thinking what you're thinking," She yawned and leaned back against her lover's chest. "If I wasn't so exhausted right now, I'd take you back in the bedroom and let you do what you were thinking about."
"I maybe able to think it but beyond that I know I'd fall asleep, let's go put Winnie to bed and turn in. We have about three hours before one of us has to get up again." She lifted Jos up in her arms and carried her and a sleeping Winnie to her room; she put her lover back on her feet and took Winnie from her arms. "Time for bed little one and please give us at least three hours of sleep." She placed a kiss on a small hand and then took Jos's and led her back to their room. Before their heads hit their pillows, they were sound asleep in each other's arms.
********
"Peanut clamped her hands over her ears and started humming loudly; she added tap dancing to add to the noise to drown out the voice yelling in her head. "I'm not listening…I'm not listening…go bother Laalaa!"
"Will you stop already!" Laalaa yelled from her bedroom. "I'm trying to sleep but I can't because of that horrible damn noise you're making in there!" She wandered out and slapped a dancing Peanut in her head. "I'm gonna knock your stupid ass out in two seconds!"
"Good, do it quick so I don't have ta listen to our boss yelling at me." She stopped, raised her chin and tapped it with a fingertip. "Hit me right here and make it really hard."
Laalaa threw her arms in the air and went back to her room mumbling under her breath, sometimes she wondered how she had been stuck with such a weirdo for all of eternity. "Come on, did I really screw up that bad that I'm stuck with her?" She jumped when lightning flashed outside her bedroom window. "Ohh OK, so I did fuck up…quite often but it was her fault not mine!" She dropped into bed and pulled her pillow over the top of her head to drown out Peanuts horrible singing voice.
********
Jos placed a sleeping Winnie on her lover's chest and got up to start breakfast; she was still exhausted and knew that one of them should get some more sleep. She would catch a nap later when Remi was up and would take care of Winnie. She grabbed Remi's t-shirt off the floor and pulled it over her head; she brought the neck up to her nose and picked up the scent of her lover. With a goofy grin on her face, she stumbled into the kitchen and pulled items from the refrigerator. "Gotta call mom and see if Johnnie's still taped to the light post." She started frying eggs and heard the newspaper hit her front door. Leaving the eggs to cook, she went for the newspaper. Flipping it open on her way back to the kitchen, she stopped and stared at the picture on the front page. "Ohh my fucking God, Johnnie's on the front page!" She ran for the phone and dialed her parent's number. "Mom have you seen the newspaper yet?"
"Sure have and I'm putting Johnnie's picture in a frame right now."
"You're not…Ohh yeah you would," She snickered. "What's Darla have to say about all of this?"
"Well, she showed up this morning with divorce papers and made him sign them before we cut him loose."
"Good for her, she should have gotten rid of him years ago. I hope she takes him for everything he's got."
"Ohh she is and then some, she had in the papers that she gets the house and he gets to keep his so called secret apartment that he didn't know that we all knew about." She said something to her husband and then came back on the line. "Your dad said he really likes Remi and he hopes you two stay together."
"Dad said that, he didn't talk to her all that much yesterday."
"Well after everyone left last night, she's the only one he talked about. So if dad remembers her then she's made quite an impression. So did you jump her bones last night?"
"Mom you talked to Mel didn't you?" She rolled her eyes at her mother's laughter.
"Of course I did, she's my gossip monger and lets me know about everything. So did you?"
"I'm not telling you, so you'll just have to suffer."
"I won't be suffering one little bit; I already talked to Jen this morning so there. Now go finish fixing breakfast for your lover and I'll talk to ya later." She hung up before Jos could say a word, she swore that the second she put on underwear, everyone knew what color they were. "Just un-fucking-believable, I wonder if they know how many times I screamed last night."
"If not I'm sure they will by noon." Remi stepped up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist.
"Why aren't you still sleeping?"
"I smelled food cooking and heard you talking to your mom; I put Winnie back in her crib. She was doing those little leg lift things while she was laying on my chest, kinda reminded me of when she was kicking inside of you." She nuzzled Jos's neck and placed a soft kiss beneath her ear. "What did mom have to say?"
"Ohh that she knew what we did when we got home and that Darla is divorcing Johnnie." She pointed to the newspaper and grinned at her lover's chuckle. "Quite a good picture, they didn't even blot out his tiny little dick."
"Probably because it's so small that not many people would notice it," She read the article and smirked. "It says here that it was a case of kinky sex gone bad, if they only knew!" She dropped the paper on the table and leaned back against the counter to watch Jos cook. "So what are we doing today?"
"Well, I thought about fishing but I'd love to just stay home and cuddle with you on the couch." She looked up, smiled brightly at her lover and winked. "Maybe fool around a little and take naps in between feeding Winnie."
"What ever you want is fine with me," She gave her a lingering kiss before pushing away from the counter. "I'm gonna go take a shower and check on the little eating machine." She went back into the bedroom after picking her Levis up off the floor; she reached into the pocket for her wallet and flipped it open to a small pocket inside. She gazed at what was there and sighed before closing it again. "Is it too soon for us…should I ask her or wait a while to see what happens?" She sighed again and went to check on Winnie before going in for a much-needed shower. What she didn't see was Jos standing at the kitchen doorway listening to what she was saying to herself.
"What ever the question was, I would say yes." She wiped a tear from her cheek and went back into the kitchen to finish their breakfast.
After breakfast and feeding Winnie, they lay on the floor in front of the TV with Winnie lying on a blanket next to them. Jos had been waiting all morning for Remi to break the weird mood that she had slipped into. She was pensive and off in another world and it was driving Jos nuts. Finally, she rolled Remi over, pulled her wallet from her pocket and tried to find what she had seen her looking at earlier that morning. Remi started to panic, her breath came out in pants and she grabbed at her chest. "Please don't look in there." She tried to grab her wallet but was too slow.
"What do you have in here, dirty pictures of past girlfriends?" She found the small pocket and pulled an antique filigree ring out. "Is this what you're hiding from me?" She looked at the beautiful detail and looked into terrified silvery blue eyes. "It's beautiful Remi, where did you get it?"
"It's the only thing that I think belonged to my mother, when they found me in the church that was tied to the string on my hat."
"You said you were an orphan but you never said that you were left in a church." She cupped the side of her lover's face and pulled her in for a soft kiss.
"Either way, I was an orphan. That ring is the only thing besides a note with instructions to name me Remington Renee' Winchester and the day I was born." Jos felt tears running down her cheeks; she couldn't understand how a mother could just leave her child.
"I heard you talking to yourself this morning, what ever it is I would say yes." She watched Remi's eyes fill with tears and then run down across her cheeks, she reached out and wiped them away with her fingertips and waited for her to say something.
"Would you think me totally insane if I asked you to marry me? I know it's only been…"
"No, yes, and it's been long enough that I know I couldn't live without you." She sobbed when Remi slipped the ring on to her finger and hugged her tightly.
"I'll love you for eternity." She whispered close to her ear and sealed her promise with a loving kiss. "Are we gonna tell your parents or wait for the gossip vine to get to them?"
"Let the gossip vine tell them, I have other plans for us." She pulled a pacifier from her pocket, put it in Winnie's mouth and rolled them to a safe distance away from her. What they did in between feedings was exhausting but soul binding at the same time. Hours later, Jos placed a sleeping Winnie on Remi's chest and went to answer the pounding on her front door. When she pulled it open, she found a grinning Laalaa and Peanut on the doorstep.
"I think she's crazy but Peanut says that we had to come over here and congratulate you guys." She saw the paleness creep over Jos's face, she reached out and grabbed her as she sunk to the floor. "Ohh damn, you're right again aren't you?"
"Of course I am the voices never lie. Well, at least the big boss's voice doesn't." She helped Laalaa carry a stricken Jos into the living room and sat her on the couch. "I'll go get her a glass of water and maybe an ice bag or something, you wake up Remi."
"Why me, I can get water to ya know."
"I know but I've been hit too much in the last month so it's your turn to get pummeled." She grinned and ran for the kitchen before Laalaa could argue with her.
She shook Remi's shoulder and jumped when blue eyes popped open and glared into hers. "Uhhmm…Remi we have a slight problem here, sorry but Jos is…she's…look at her." She pointed to a semi comatose Jos and moved out of Remi's way.
"Take Winnie and what did you do to her?" She cupped Jos's face between her hands and looked into her unblinking eyes.
"Just congratulated her is all and then she almost fell on the floor."
"What are you talking about?" She took the glass of water from Peanut and tried to get Jos to sip from it.
"Ya know you gave her that ring that you've carried in your wallet all these years." She pointed to the ring on Jos's finger and grinned. "That one right there, the one that belonged to your grandma." Peanut started to wave her hands at Remi and pleaded. "Ohh no don't you dare pass out on us, I can't deal with passed out peoples right now." She grabbed the glass of water from her hand and poured it over her head. "Ohh shit, I'm a dead woman!" She ran behind Laalaa and peeked over her shoulder. Remi shook her head and glared at her two idiot friends.
"You looked in my wallet and that ring belonged to my mother not my grandma."
Peanut shook her head. "Ohh nononono that belonged to your grandma, your mom stole it but couldn't pawn it." She pointed at Jos and waved her hand at her. "Wake her up; throw ice down her shirt or something!"
"Don't you dare or I'll make you pay dearly for it and what is she babbling about and how the Hell did they know?" She turned her head and shot them both evil looks. "Were you two spying on us again?"
"Nope, I told you, Peanut heard it from the voices or voice. I told you she's nuts, she kept me up all night with her singing to drown the voices out. So as soon as she went ballistic and bounced off the walls, we came over here."
"Ohh for Gods sakes!" Peanut threw her hands in the air and ran over to the door to throw it open. "Thank the Goddess that you're here, they don't believe a word I'm saying so you can tell them." She pulled a tall ditzy woman with long curly wild blond hair into the house and pushed her towards Remi and Jos.
"Will you stop with the pawing before I rip your arms off and beat you to death? Ya know you pulled me away from a women's basketball game and I had dibs on the center!" She gave Remi and Jos a bright smile and nodded her head. "Believe what ever they told you, even if Laverne here ignores me when I'm trying to tell her something!" She pointed a finger at her and snickered when her hair stood straight up on end. "Those two blockheads are lucky, if they hadn't done their job, I was sending them to Russia to work for the next 100 years or so." She shivered and rubbed her hands across her silk covered arms. "Ever seen a Russian woman, let me tell ya, they have hair everywhere!"
Jos waved her hands in the air. "Hold on just one damn minute, who are you and who are they…really?"
"Ohh I'm the Goddess of the matchmakers and those two are my slaves," She looked at her watch and sighed. "If I make it quick, I may be able to catch at least one of those women. Just listen to your hearts and you can't go wrong, gotta jet!" She snapped her fingers and was gone in a flash of pink sparkles.
"I hate when she does that, Peanut do that snappy thing on them. You know like in the movie Men in Black."
"Ohh goody, I like doing that!" She pulled dark sunglasses from her pocket slipped them on and was about to snap her fingers when Remi tackled her."
"You ain't doin nothin ta us, now who was that and where did she go?"
"That was our boss and she just pops in and out when ever she wants to. Now watch this neat little trick I learned." She snapped her fingers and grunted when Remi fell with all of her weight onto her chest.
"Ohh good, I get to do the rest!" Laalaa clapped her hands and did a little dance around the passed out couple. "You won't remember our boss lady here, you'll think we're the greatest women on the planet, you'll love each other for all of eternity and make us a bitchin lunch!" She snapped her fingers and watched Remi and Jos wake up. Hi guys, we're here for lunch, what're havin?" Remi rose up on her hands and looked at a grinning Peanut and then over to Jos who was rubbing her eyes.
"Why am I on top of you?"
"Ohh that's easy, you got up off the couch and had a head rush. I tried ta catch ya but you're too damn big." She fluttered her eyelashes at her. "So what's for lunch?"
*******
After Jos and Remi made a huge lunch big enough to feed a small nation, they loaded up Winnie and drove over to Remi's apartment. She had warned Jos that the place was horrible and that she didn't really own anything. All that she really had were clothes, a small TV and a microwave; the rest came with the apartment. She tried to explain that with a job that only paid six dollars an hour and after paying the rent, she didn't have a lot of money left over. Her diet consisted of eating stale pastries and chicken potpies. She dropped her head as she unlocked the door and held it for Jos to enter. She waited for her to blow a head gasket over what the place looked like but when nothing happened, she made sure that she wasn't in shock. "It's a really shitty place…ain't it?"
"Will you be penalized when you break your lease?"
"No, I pay month to month; I was always hoping to get a better job so that I could get a better place to live. If it wasn't for knowing Petry, and everything else that's happened, I'd still be making donuts." She wrapped her arms around Jos from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder. "Now you see why I never asked you over here, besides being a dump, there's no air conditioning."
"Remi, I've seen worse, I've lived in worse. I don't judge people by the size of their apartment or their wallet. So do you have a suitcase or something we can throw your clothes in?"
"I've got an old sea bag and garbage bags, if you pack my clothes, I'll take the microwave and TV down to my car. They're not the greatest but I can take the microwave into work, that way we'll have two there to use." She gave Jos a deep kiss before getting the sea bag for her and taking the TV down to her car. They had talked it over and decided to wait a while before looking for a larger house; Jos wanted something out in the country and a big yard where she could plant a garden. Remi didn't care as long as they were together and it was a safe place for Winnie to play when she got older. She put the TV in the trunk of her car and ran up the stairs to get the microwave and then help Jos pack up the few clothes that she had. She knew as soon as she saw some of her t-shirts, she would toss them out. A huge grin split her face when she looked down at the pale blue t-shirt that Peanut and Laalaa had given her. In bold black letters it read 'Martinsburg Correctional Center' across the back and on the front it said 'Warden's Toy' Jos's shirt had the same across the back but the word Warden on the front. Before she could leave her apartment, she heard Jos yell her full name and knew she was in deep shit. She may have never had a mother but she knew from other people that it was a common practice for full names to be used when you had been caught doing something or not doing something. She slowly crept towards her bedroom and peeked around the door jam, she sighed when she saw Jos holding on to a pair of black leather pants.
"You wanted me for something?" She said in a quiet voice and flinched when Jos waved the pants at her.
"How come I've never seen you in these?"
"I don't know; guess I never thought about it. Why?"
"Because I have this thing for leather," She raised an eyebrow and purred. "I want to see you in these, like right now."
"Now…you want me to put them on right now?" She took the pants in her hand, unfastened her worn Levis and let them drop to the floor. After slipping into her leather pants and turning in a circle for Jos, it looked like the little woman had an adrenaline rush. Her remaining clothes were stuffed into the duffel bag, it was thrown into her arms and she was dragged from the bedroom. "What's the rush?" She slammed on her brakes, flung her duffle strap over her shoulder and grabbed the microwave.
"You're in tight ass leather pants and I wanna get you out of them!"
"Then why did you…Ohhh I got it, I'm a little slow today after passing out." She rubbed her face with a hand and tried to figure out all that had happened before Peanut and Laalaa showed up. "Must be low blood sugar and maybe amnesia."
"Once we get home, you can add exhaustion to your list." Jos held the door for her and then locked it after them, working the key off the ring; she slipped it under the door that had a manager's sign on it. "Call him tomorrow and tell him you moved out." She rushed Remi out the door with a deep purring sound. "Ohh you are in for it when we get home!" She grabbed her ass and squeezed as Remi bent over the trunk to put her stuff in.
**********
"Ohhh no, look at this list boss lady gave us!" Laalaa handed Peanut a list with a dozen names on it.
"What are we supposed ta do with them," She looked at the last names and up to Laalaa. "Aren't these peoples already married, they all got the…" She clapped her hands over her ears and grimaced. "EEWWWWW…boss lady just told me that she wants us ta break up their dating, those idiots are all brothers, sisters or cousins and they're dating each other!"
"And it's all your fault, if you hadn't been singing that damn song about West Virginia; we could be living in California hooking up movie stars instead of dealing with incest practices!"
"I like that song, isn't my fault boss lady hates it. Besides, look at all the good we did, we got Remi and Jos together."
"Yeah but whose idea was it to rob the bank to accomplish it?"
Peanut ran and hid on the other side of the couch; she looked all around their living room for an excuse to not answer and found Laalaa right in her face when she turned back. "OK, that was my idea, boss lady didn't have anything ta do with it, I wanted ta see that tellers tits!"
"Damn pervert, what would you have done if we had got caught and put in jail?"
"Made love connections for all the other prisoners, might've gotten ya a date!"
********
Jos groaned when she heard pounding on the front door, she stepped over a sleeping Remi, grabbed her discarded shirt off the floor and pulled it on before opening the door. She rolled her eyes when her mom turned her head and looked at her through a pair of motorcycle goggles. "Nice hat mom, knock over the red baron on the way here?" She pointed to the leather WWII flight hat she wore.
"I got the top off my Jeep and this keeps my hair from blowing all over the place, where's my grandbaby?"
"In her bed taking a nap, so what brings ya here mom?"
"Ohh I came over ta give ya these tickets and this." She handed Jos a thick wide gold wedding band.
"What's this for…Ohh don't tell me, the grape vine got to ya?"
"Of course it did, Jen called me about twenty minutes ago and told me all about it. So let me see this ring," She grabbed her daughter's hand and eyeballed the ring by putting her finger right up to the lens of her goggles. "Kinda blurry, what's it look like?"
"Mom, take your goggles off, how can you see to drive if they're blurry?"
"I only hit a couple garbage cans on the way over, still better than your dad, he ran over your brother the other day." She slid her goggles up and jumped when she noticed Remi laying on the floor with a shredded t-shirt, no pants and one sock still on. "What did you do to her; she looks like your brother after we pulled him out from under your dad's car?"
"Two words mom, leather pants. Let's go in the kitchen, I need some coffee." She looked at the ring her mom had given her and smiled; she recognized her grandpa's ring and knew that her brothers would be pissed when they found out that she had gotten it. They had all thought that when they got married that one of them would have been given the ring. "Ohh I can't wait to tell all of them, especially Johnnie." She then looked at the tickets, stopped dead in her tracks and turned to her mom. "These tickets are for Bermuda…in two days!"
"Yep, it's from me and your dad, ya know for a honeymoon. I'll take care of Winnie and you guys can go scare the beach dwelling animals."
"But mom, I can't leave Winnie, she's…" Her eyes grew wide when she saw her mom wave a third ticket at her. "I'm going with ya; I got my own little bungalow at the opposite end from you and Remi. While you're out having a good time, me and Winnie are gonna sit on the beach and look at all those men in those tiny little Speedo's." Jos looked up when she heard Remi groaning and snickered at her disheveled hair and torn t-shirt.
"I'm hungry Jos, hi mom…Ohh Hell!" She turned to run but found her hand grabbed by Jos.
"Mom's already seen you all sprawled out on the floor," She handed her the tickets and waited for her to say something. "Well, what do ya think?"
Her eyes widened when she saw their destination. "Bermuda…we're going to Bermuda?"
"Yep, it's from mom and dad for our honeymoon." She pulled Remi into her body and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Mom's going with us to take care of Winnie while we're exploring."
Remi gave her a soft kiss and then looked over to her mom. "Thank you and thank you for going with us, I know that neither one of us could go and enjoy ourselves because we would worry about Winnie."
"No problem, that's why I'm going. I couldn't leave any of my kids after they were born and I wouldn't expect you two to do it either. I hired Peanut and Laalaa ta take care of your dad while we're gone." She gave them a toothy grin when they gasped. "They're gonna make sure that none of your brothers bother him, I bought them a case of electrical tape just in case they need it."
***********
"Ohh Winnie you have no idea what you're missing!" Mom whispered and put her binoculars back up to her eyes. "I can see his PULSE!" She flipped her huge straw hat with flowers all over it back so that she could spy on all the men playing volleyball. She took a quick glance down at her granddaughter, adjusted her sunglasses and the umbrella that shaded her before going back to Speedo Spying. "Ohhh buddy, how did you get that monster in there?"
"Mom that is beyond gross and disgusting," Jos said and then sat down beside her daughter. "So how many phone numbers did you collect for Darla?" Remi lifted up a coffee can and looked inside.
"I'd say Darla can have a date with a different man every night for the next ten years or so." She looked down and saw the hungry look in her wife's eyes. "But she'll never beat what I have in a million years." Her eyes traveled down across Jos's jade green string bikini top to her ripped abs. "She'll never do it." She repeated in a soft purring voice.
"You two have ta stay right here with me, look at all the men gawking at ya!" She grabbed the coffee can and waved. "Come on boys, they want your phone numbers!" Mom yelled and then pointed to Remi in her black thong. "Look at the body on her would ya; I told ya they were hotties!"
"Ohh shit, mom, whose picture have you been showing these horn dogs?" She grabbed her mom's huge ass purse and started digging through it. "Remi run, mom's been showing our pictures!" She took the pictures, grabbed Remi's hand and they ran towards their bungalow. "I can't believe she did that!" They flung the door open, slipped inside and locked it. Remi grinned down at Jos and shrugged her shoulders.
"At least we have an excuse to not answer the door until it's time to feed Winnie." Jos took her hand, placed a kiss on the gold wedding band, and then winked.
"After what we did on the beach earlier I think everyone would prefer that we stay in here anyway." She pulled the string loose on Remi's bikini and let it fall around her hips. "Ya know we got your top on inside out."
"I'm just glad that we found yours…" Her words were cut off by a deep consuming kiss; the only words for the rest of the afternoon were muttered declarations of love.
********
"Jos only got some of the pictures; I still go some in my pocket." Ma pulled them out, taped them to a piece of cardboard and propped it up in back of the coffee can. "Maybe I should change the sign, what do ya think Winnie, does nymphomaniac twins make them sound too cheap?"
The End
Bumbled Burglary
By Larisa
Hecate3366@frontiernet.net