~ Blind Date ~
by Larisa
Disclaimer: Ya'll know the deal, yeah they do but these ones are mine. I used some stuff that's not mine, no encroachment was intended. Sex between two women, violence, gutter mouth and everything else that I could toss in this piece of insanity. If your jailbait go away, if it's illegal where you live, you must have one Hell of a boring life.
Thanks to Lesia and Ri for reading this slop before I posted it.
The clinking of metal against glass echoed in the still morning air, a loud gruff voice drowned out the clattering in a deep gruff voice. "DIE BITCH DIE!" More clattering and then a yell of success rang out!
"I'd say your blind date sucked big time."
"Shut the fuck up!" Green eyes blazed as Levi went back to making horrible noises with her spoon and bowl. "Take that you slimy hairy good for nothing BITCH!"
Hazel eyes rolled, a snorting noise came from Levi's roommate Shane. Her long curly blonde hair stuck out at weird angles around her head and her large T-shirt was tucked into her skimpy black G-string over one hip. Dropping down into the chair next to her small blonde menace to breakfast cereals roommate, she yanked the spoon from her hand and flung it across the room.
"Hey that was mine!" Levi bared her teeth and growled. "And don't you say a word, not one god damn word!" She shook a finger at Shane.
Looking down into Levi's bowl, she smirked then took her life in her hands by asking a question.
"What did the poor Teddy Grahams do to you?"
Levi ran her fingers through her short blonde hair; she left it to look like she had been hit by lightning.
"They look like my blind date! Short, hairy and stupid looking!" Picking a Teddy Graham up from its milky grave, she bit the head off and flung the little body against the wall. "She had one tooth in the middle and a thick MUSTACHE!"
Shane shivered and rubbed the goose bumps that rose on her arms, giving her friend a heartfelt sigh, she squeezed her shoulder in comfort.
"That one tooth really did you in didn't it?"
"HAAA! Shudup! It was the hair all over her chest that got me; I ran screaming from the restaurant and wiped out three people in the process." Taking a drink of her chocolate milk, she grimaced and added orange juice to it. "That wasn't the worst part; she whipped out her pocket knife and cleaned her greasy fingernails before she flashed me."
"What the hell was she gonna do, shave her chest for ya?"
"That would take a couple of hours to do." A muffled voice came from behind them. "Could use Nair, but that gives ya nasty rash."
Levi smacked a huge hairy paw as it came towards her bagel.
"That's mine get your own hair ball!"
"What did you do to my Teddy Grahams, their heads are all gone!"
Green eyes drilled into Shane's twinkling hazel, then hands slapped at the paw that came over her other shoulder to steal her bagel.
"How do you sleep with hair bear here?"
She jabbed a thumb at the five foot seven grizzly bear standing behind her, then grabbed her bagel from where it was stuck out through the hole in the throat.
"I make her take off the suit before she gets in bed, otherwise she sheds all over the sheets."
"That's 'cuz ya keep grabbing me and screaming. Don't be gentle Ben!"
Shane's face turned a deep red, coughing to cover up the low moan that threatened to come through her gritted teeth, she reached back and smacked her lover in the stomach.
"Shudup Teddy, or I'll hide your head!"
"Won't care as long as it's between your legs."
Levi's head dropped to the table and into her cereal bowl, splattering milk all over herself and the table.
"Well, gotta go. Lotsa singing Teddy grams to do." Teddy stumbled from the kitchen, hitting her head on the door jam and falling out the back door in a huge hairy heap. "Hate when that happens." She grumbled from inside the bear head that had turned backwards when she fell. "Shane help me I'm blind!" She yelled and stumbled around the back yard.
Patting Levi on her milk soaked head, Shane went out the back door to save her lover. Levi groaned, lifted her head from the bowl and slammed the heel of her hand down on the remaining Teddy Grahams
"I hate my life! My life sucks donkey dicks!"
Grabbing the Washington post, she looked through the personal ads for another night of torture.
"Here's a good one. Single dyke, 5'8, 195lbs, body builder, seeking fem for friendship and maybe more. Has possibilities." Circling the ad for later, she picked up her glass of Chocolate/orange milk and went to her bedroom.
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Sunflower seed shells bounced off the filthy ground and stuck to the small bull's eye drawn on the side of the large garbage can. Enormous black flies swooped and dove in to the can causing a loud buzzing noise. A large yellow rubber boot crashed into the side sending the horde of flies up into the humid rancid air.
"Go bother someone else!" A deep voice mumbled as the tattered newspaper was flung in the air to bash flies. "More noise than a buzz saw." Smoothing the paper out as best she could, Brody scanned the personal listings. "Fiftyish woman, Five foot two, plump, loves soap operas, Jerry Springer and eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream." A low growl came from parted lips at the next one. "Power hungry professional, gorgeous blonde bombshell, rich. Seeking loser for sex slave/master scenario." A hideous howl pierced the air followed by a deep glutteral rumble. Never again! Don't do the sex slave thingie, blonde cunt maybe, no bombshell unless I dropped one on ya!" Scanning more, blue eyes came to an interesting one and narrowed. "Small blonde, looking for something close to human, DNA typing required. No drugs, booze or smokers, over achievers, professionals, mobsters, hookers, STD carriers or infected. Just a plain normal person! 8pm Giorgio's restaurant every night." Brody erupted into a hearty laugh, wiping the tears from her eyes, she tossed the paper into the garbage and disturbed the flies again. "You aren't a picky one are ya, small blonde? Right, four foot tall, four foot wide! NOT!" Tromping through the mucky alleyway, Brody went back to where she had been unloading boxes of fresh fish off the semi truck trailer that came in every day from the nearby harbor. The air thick with the putrid smell of fish was enough to make the most hardened stomach roll with nausea. Grabbing a surgical mask from her pocket, she coated it with Vicks vapor rub and slipped it over her nose and mouth.
Slinging an 80lb. wax coated box of tuna over her left shoulder, Brody stacked it on the pallet that was all ready over five foot tall. The dock manager came shuffling over with his ancient hand truck, slipping the forks under the pallet, he ended up balancing his 100lb body on the handle and still couldn't get the pallet to raise off the ground.
"Dag nabit Brody, I can't move this thing." He dropped down from his metal perch. "Why ya gotta put so much on these things?" He wiped the sweat from his wrinkled brow and glared at her with the one eye that didn't wander off to the side.
"Why can't you hang a sand bag around your neck?"
"Tried that, damn thing slipped and hit me in my nuts."
Using one hand, she pumped the handle of the truck, raised the pallet and gave it a good push to get the old man started on his way into the warehouse. A loud whistle blew overhead indicating that her day was over with and signaling the start of the next crew. Punching the clock, she shed her raingear and boots and dropped them into the back of her truck. Dragging her fishy hands through her long dark hair, her nose wrinkled at the smell that she could never quite get off her skin.
"I hate this job, need something that doesn't make people think I have a female problem." Having dated a lot of different woman, she associated the fishy smell from her job with rotten crotch. The thought alone was enough to make her stomach turn and swear off dating for eternity.
Pulling her truck into the parking lot of her condo, she climbed from the cab and snickered when her neighbors gave her one look and ran the other direction. Pulling her sweat stained T-shirt over her head on the way to her front door. She dropped it into the Bio Hazard can on the doorstep, then striped out of the rest of her clothes, added them to the can and walked into her condo naked.
"The way they run, you would think I had hair all over my body." Shrugging her shoulders, she grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and headed for the bathroom. Turning the water on as hot as she could stand it, she poured lemon scent bleach into the water. She could guarantee the entire planet that she was germ free, after taking bleach baths for the last ten years nothing could live on her body. Sinking down into the water, she slipped her body down until her head rested on the edge. Draining half of her beer, she put the bottle on the floor, closed her eyes and relaxed.
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Adjusting the dark green turtle neck, she wore because it brought out the gold flecks in her eyes, Levi scanned the bar area looking for her blind date for the night. She had no idea why she did this every night, for some reason she thought that she would be able to met the one and only woman that she would spend the rest of her life with. She had tried the bar scene and grew tired of drunks falling and pawing all over her. This worked out much better for her, being a food critic for the restaurant, she was able to work and feel out blind dates at the same time. Plus if she ran from the table, she could blame it on the food or vice versa. She had just turned to look towards the door when she saw something, cringing inside, she just knew it had to be her date. Pasting a phony smile on her face, she went over to introduce herself to the tall body builder.
"Hi, I'm Levi Straussenhofer. You must be Edweena Shottowski?"
Levi tried not to jump when a very abnormal deep voice came from the woman. To cover up the jump, she kept jerking her head and one arm. To add to the picture, she stuttered and mumbled to herself.
"Yeahhh, my…ahh tables…in back." She limped sideways, twitched and kept yelling in her mind, Die bitch die!"
Levi wished that she could close her eyes and disappear from the room. Her date had shed her button down shirt and now sat across from her in only a skimpy bikini top. The headwaiter came over once to warn the woman but ended up running into the kitchen to hide when she threw a pectoral shot and made them bounce all over her wide chest. Levi almost fell over in her chair when right at eye level was a bulge between the woman's legs.
"Please someone strike me dead!" Sighing loudly caught her date's attention; she covered it with wheezing and launched into a terretes syndrome screamathon right before she ran from the dinning area. "Fuck, bastard, up yours asshole, mother fucker!" Blue eyes caught the blonde crazy as she lurched, cussed and bumped into her, bounced of the wall and spun her way out the door.
"Damn nut cases are everywhere." Narrowing her ice blue eyes to adjust to the darkness, Brody looked for the "small blonde" She just knew the woman had to be some kind of circus freak, they always were. Taking a stool at the end of the bar, she scanned the area without trying to look like that was what she was doing. Turning her back, she looked into the large mirror over the bar and almost fell off the stool. Directly behind her was the most hideous looking humanoid she had ever seen in her 37 years. Throwing a double bicep shot to the scampering waiters was what reminded her of the steroid pumped character that comedian Jim Cary played on Saturday night live. But this was scarier! Paint it green and you would have a sort of female green hulk. Easing off the stool, Brody kept her arms resting on the bar and moved slowly until she was within jumping distance of the front door. After escaping the lunatic bin of a restaurant, she walked along the sidewalk until she came to a small park that was always abandoned after dark because of the hoodlums and mad rapists.
She wondered if she went to the city council, if they would stock the park at night with female rapists. What could it hurt, it would be one way that she might actually get to have sex. Doing herself wasn't fun anymore, she lived alone so there was no one to catch her giving herself a helping of fingers. It always excited her more when she never knew when her roommates would walk in and catch her.
"Shower massage, jumbo industrial sized one with super sonic cleaning action! That's what I need, Gods, sounds like an advertisement for a dishwasher." Dropping down onto a wooden bench she gazed off into the distance and saw what she thought was a ghost. Eerie wails drifted on the night air and sent chills down her back.
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Levi ran through the park with her hands waving like crazy over her head, she jumped in the air doing little leaps and bounds to accompany her screams of terror. Her scream was "Die bitch die!" Drug out for long seconds and then changed to crazed laughter when pictures of the body builder being humped by a horse ran through her mind. Exhausted, she fell onto her back in the middle of the open field, panting hot air through her gaping lips made her look like a dying goldfish. "Disgusting dick swinging she-thing! Huge hairy nuts!" Turning her head to the side, she saw a man dressed in dark clothes watching her. An evil smirk spilt her face, rolling to her knees she ran on all fours towards him.
"Come on rape me?" She growled in a possessed voice, and snapped her teeth together. "Been years since I've ripped a dick off with my snatch." Howling like a lunatic, she charged, tripped him and jumped on his chest.
"Please lady, I'm a man of the cloth!"
Levi looked down and saw the pearly white collar of a priest.
"Damn, sorry father I guess you were hoping for a lost little boy huh?" Getting off of him, she dragged her feet and kicked empty wine bottles all the way back to her condo.
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Brody was just getting up from the bench when an older man came stumbling towards her, he was smoothing down his dark jacket and wiping sweat from his brow and upper lip. Casting huge frightened eyes on her, he gulped and pointed to the area that he had just come from.
"Don't go over there…werewolf…wants sex!" He looked to her one last time before he took off running down the sidewalk.
"Damn, I'm never in the right place at the right time!" Drop kicking an empty beer bottle, she headed home.
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Shane and Teddy were lying on the floor of the living room eating popcorn dipped in grape jelly, and drinking V8 juice from the bottle. Watching reruns of the Golden Girls and laughing hysterically over Sophia's antics.
"If we end up like that, I'll shot myself!" Levi mumbled as she dropped face first onto the couch. "My luck I'll be Sophia."
"Nahh you're more like Blanche without the sex though." Shane rolled over onto her side to look at the exhausted and dirty blonde. "What happened to you, it looks like you brought a bunch of leaves and grass stains home? Your date didn't you know?"
"I wish! Hell, I will never again take another Flintstones vitamin. That freaky thing I met at Giorgio's brought a gym bag full of vitamins, carbo mix, protein mix and some kinda stuff in a little bottle that she shot into her thigh with a needle!"
"You really need to stop calling those ads, they're bad for your temperament and our sanity."
"I'm not insane." Teddy said from where she had rolled over to look at Levi.
"That's debatable, one thing for sure is you're scary as hell." Levi pointed a finger at the long dark hair that had the look of a nesting area for mentally challenged rodents.
"You wear a bear head all day and see what your hair looks like." She threw a piece of popcorn at Levi and watched as she caught it in her mouth. "Ya know those assholes I work for had me doing Easter grams in my bear suit! Can ya see me singing here comes Peter cottontail in a grizzly suit? I scared the hell outta a bunch of kindergarteners."
"Teddy, you have done that without the bear suit!"
Teddy gave her a toothy grin, punching a hand in the air she yelled "YES! Knew I was scary."
"Some feat your wife has accomplished Shane, she can scare five year olds." Raising an eyebrow at Teddy, Levi smirked at her. "Wanna meet my blind dates and scare them away?"
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After tossing and turning, running for her very life from a whinnying body builder. Levi tumbled from her bed still tangled in the sheets and comforter. Long minutes later she was in the kitchen making a pot of strong coffee while her laptop booted up. She had to send in the results to the gourmet magazine that she worked for and the newspaper.
Sipping the strong brew in between bouts of typing like a maniac, she finally finished both articles and was now checking her E-Mail. One caught her eye and brought a smile to her face. 35-year-old single female, college professor, loves walks on the beach and hiking. Quiet nights at home reading poetry and sipping a nice cup of orange tea. "Sounds perfect!" She quickly sent out a reply and arranged to meet the woman the next night at Giorgio's. She was quite excited about the change to meet a normal woman. When her roommates came into the kitchen for breakfast, she had eggs, bacon and fried potatoes all ready for them.
"Uuhh oohh…she's flipped!" Teddy whispered close to her lover's ear. "She cooked breakfast for us."
Shane felt Levi's forehead and cheeks for a fever, then looked into sparkling green eyes and shook her head in confusion.
"She's not sick."
"What is the matter with me cooking breakfast?" She eyeballed both of them. "Believe me, the world is not going to end." She swung her laptop around and showed them the E-Mail she received. "This might be the one. I have this feeling deep in my gut that she's the one and only." She smacked both of her roommates in the backs of their heads when they rolled their eyes at her. "Come on, it could be."
"We've heard this every time you've gone out on a date." Shane replied. "I've lost count of how many have been. The One."
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Brody tossed the last of the boxes on the pallet and pulled the long rubber gloves from her wrinkled hands. Rolling her shoulders to ease the tightness in them, she sighed deeply with thought of her plains for that night. She had answered one of the ads, that night at Giorgio's, she was to meet a woman for dinner and then dancing afterwards. It was the dancing that she was worried about, it had been years since she had danced. She tried to picture the woman from the description she had given her. Blonde hair, five foot five, athletic build and green eyes. Her heart pounded at the part about green eyes, she had always been attracted to woman with that eye color. She just hoped that she could get the smell of fish off of her before she went out.
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Dressed in tight black Levi's and a green silk button down shirt, Levi grabbed her tan suede jacket and headed for the door. She was a nervous wreck and prayed that she could control her nervous habit of babbling like an idiot. Taking a deep breathe, she walked the four blocks to the restaurant and hesitated at the front door.
"You're are such a chicken shit Levi. Now get in there and see if she's there yet." Clenching her hands into fists, she relaxed them, pushed the door open and went in to take her seat at her normal table. A half hour later, she looked up to see a tall woman enter the dinning room, a bright smile came to her face and disappeared the second she could make out the woman's features. She felt the color fade from her face and her heart beat stop in her chest.
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Brody sat with her mouth hanging open and her fork halfway to its destination, the woman was all that she said she was and then some.
"I hope you don't mind." She grabbed Brody's diner roll from her plate and put enough butter on it to clog the arteries of the entire Redskins football team. "I'm a binge eater and I haven't eaten in three days, you know it's really good to fast your body. It lets all the impurities out and cleans out your intestines. I eat lots of bran and roughage for a solid week and then nothing but liquids for another. I bounce back and forth between the two, and at the end of that cycle, I'm a little drained so I eat continuously for another week." Stuffing half the roll in her mouth she reached across, grabbed half of Brody's steak, took a huge bite out of it and put it back. "This food is really good, I'll have to remember to come here more often. The only bad thing is that I'll have to throw it all up at the end of the night. Can't let this stuff stay in my body to long, clogs up my digestive system and that's not healthy." Using the part of diner roll she had left, she sopped up the bloody juices from her plate then attacked Brody's.
Brody's eyes were drying out from not blinking, her jaw was now stuck open and hurt like hell. She was trying to think of a way to get away from the bulimic weirdo but had no idea of what to do. She hoped that the place caught on fire so that she could run towards the flames and end her miserable life.
"Anyway, I found that if you mix prune juice and fresh prunes in a blender is works quicker than Ex-Lax. Are you going to eat your baked potato?"
Brody shook her head, her long dark hair swayed back and forth across her shoulders, she wished it was long enough to maybe strangle her into unconsciousness and give her a way out of the restaurant. She would have to move soon because drool was running down her chin, she knew it was gross but didn't know why it bothered her so much since the woman across from her was talking with her mouth full of food and spewing it all over the place.
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Levi gasped when the woman sat down across from her, she couldn't peel her eyes away from the site in front of her if her life depended on it. She had seen plenty of college professors but none of them looked like this one. Her hair was a rich black and hung to the center of her back. Yellowish colored eyes drilled into hers and held her in a trance. She waited for the usual saying that a hypnotist used to put you to sleep but all she got was a reedy hello that hurt her eardrums. Tilting her head sideways, she tried to see if the eerie eyes were fake. She also wondered if the woman ever went outside since her skin was so pale. Then she covered her mouth to keep from screaming, she had seen a woman that was identical to her date in the movie Blade. She could very well be sitting with a vampire who planed on having her for a midnight snack. Then again, she never saw a vampire with a huge bone through her nose, numerous face piercings or tiny toolboxes through her earlobes.
"So tell me Levi, what do you do for a living?"
"I ahh…recycle used heroin needles." She had no idea where that idea came from.
"That's interesting, I've been to Needle alley in Berlin. You could do a lot of good there. Have you ever been to other countries?"
"Ahh uhh." She was still in shock.
"I just came back from seeing the greatest heavy metal band that's originally from London. They invited me to their party tonight, actually, it's a rave party. I know they'll have all kinds of drugs, maybe you could collect some needles there tonight. And for just walking through the door you get a complimentary nipple piercing. Want to go with me, it'll be loads of fun."
Tingles of pain shot up Levi's spine at the mention of her nipples being pierced, she swore that they inverted and disappeared from her body.
"Well…I ahh…really…pain…bad…" She was in babble mode and was trying to think of a way out of this mess. Then it came to her, her eyes widened, jaw dropped open and she pointed frantically to the doorway. "Look Marilyn Manson!" When the professor turned her head, Levi slipped under the table and crawled on hands and knees under the one next to her. In her attempt to get away, she didn't see the leather clad legs in front of her and crashed right into them. Stifling a whimper, she grabbed her nose and prayed that the person thought it was their friend kicking them under the table. All hope failed when a large hand came under the table and started feeling her head and touching her face. Kneeling between the legs was not a good place to be at the moment, so she covered her face and pretended that if she couldn't see, then neither could the other person.
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Brody jumped in her chair after something hit her legs, she hoped it wasn't the freaky across from her making a pass. Then it couldn't be, the woman was to busy licking the third desert dish. She could feel a warmth penetrating her legs and couldn't figure out what is was, so she reached under the table and almost screamed bloody murder when she felt a face suspended between her legs. Dropping her napkin on the floor, she leaned over, lifted the tablecloth and spotted the small person hiding under the table. Checking on her date, she saw that she was still licking dishes. Taking one of the fingers that covered the small face, she pulled it back until she could see a tightly closed eye.
"Excuse me." She whispered in a soft voice.
"You don't see me, I'm not really here."
"OK, but if you don't move my freaky date may become a cannibal and chew on your arm."
That brought the small hands down from her face, wide green eyes connected with pale blue and locked. Two jaws dropped open and they gasped simultaneously. Tingles invaded their bodies, arcs shot between them and all the air in the room disappeared.
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"Excuse me but did you happen to see the small blonde that was sitting here a minute ago?" The professor asked the bulimic freak.
"No sorry." She looked for Brody and found her also missing. "Did you see a tall dark haired woman? My date seems to have vanished as well." Her green eyes bugged when the waiter placed two huge plates of food on the other woman's table. "Would you mind if I joined you?"
"No of course not, be my guest."
The two freaks tore into the food and forgot all about their dates that were hiding together under the table next to them.
"I think it's safe to sneak out of here, you go first and I'll follow." Brody said in a low husky voice that had Levi breathing hard and sweating. They crawled on their hands and knees all the way to the kitchen, past the chefs and out the back door to the alleyway. Brody helped Levi to her feet and continued to hold on to her hand for longer than need be. She was held spellbound by sea green eyes.
"Are you…well…why were you…"
"Hiding…freaky date…bone through nose…"
Brody gave her a bright smile and chuckled at the way they were stuttering. "Aren't we articulate, maybe together we could complete a sentence." She shook the small hand that she still held. "I'm Brody O'Sullivan, survivor of a blind date."
"I'm Levi Straussenhofer, blind date survivor. You drink coffee?"
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They sat at a small coffee shop just down from the restaurant, neither one knew what to say but felt comfortable with the silence. Levi looked up from her coffee cup to see pale blue eyes watching her, a small smile lifted one side of her mouth.
"Kind of weird huh, going from one situation to the next." Levi said in a low voice.
"I have to admit, I like this better. My date ate my whole dinner and I was afraid she was going to start chomping on my arm next."
"Mine had a bone through her nose and could have been pinheads twin sister." She took a sip of her coffee and tried not to choke when she finally took a very good look at her companion. The woman was breath taking, high cheekbones, aquiline nose and kissable pink lips. What made her heart pound in her chest were the pale blue eyes trimmed by dark eyelashes. The more she stared the higher Brody's left eyebrow climbed up her forehead.
"You're starring." A husky voice echoed through her head.
"Ohh sorry, it's just that you're…so beautiful." She felt her face heat up and knew she was at the very least ten shades of red. "I just made a complete ass of myself." She mumbled.
"My thoughts are very mutual, not about the ass part thou." Brody smiled and patted the small hand before her. "Please tell me you're not into all kinds of freaky abnormal things."
"As long as you're human, I always ask for DNA typing."
Blue eyes widened at those words, her mouth fell open and she pointed a finger at Levi.
"It's you! I mean, I read your ad in the personal page."
"Oohh geez, now I really feel stupid!" She covered her face with her hands and groaned.
"I liked it, it was very amusing. You want to go for a walk in the park? It's nice out and I've been trying to find this werewolf that's been attacking priests."
Green eyes widened, Levi's breath caught in her chest.
"Was this like a couple of days ago that you heard about the werewolf?"
"Yep, heard about it?"
"Ohh you could say that, lets go. I know just where to find the werewolf."
"Ya know, I heard it's a female and wanted sex from the priest. Poor man was scared shitless."
A huge grin split her face, eyes shinned unnaturally, as she took Brody's hand and led her from the coffee shop. "Really, a horny werewolf. Wonder if there's a full moon tonight."
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It was six o'clock in the morning when Brody left Levi at her front door with just a gentle kiss upon her knuckles. She opened the door behind her and fell in to land on her ass at Shane's bare feet. Tilting her head back, she looked up into half closed hazel eyes.
"We didn't wake you did we?"
"Nope, I have to go in to work early. Are you just now getting in?" Her eyebrow rose up her forehead when she saw the stupid grin appear on her roommates face.
"Yep. Gods that woman is amazing!" She got up off the floor and swooned back into the door. "She has the most beautiful blue eyes I've even seen."
"Your blind date was a hot one huh?"
"Hell no!" She shivered and rubbed her arms. "That woman took 20 years of my life!"
She went on to tell Shane about her horrid night with her blind date, then how she came to meet Brody. Shane noticed the way Levi's face brightened up at just the mention of the mysterious woman's name. She knew that she would have to convince Levi to invite her new friend over for supper. She didn't want her friend to get hurt by this woman turning out to be something completely different from what she had shown Levi.
Levi's face went pale; she turned and started to struggle with the doorknob.
"What is your problem Levi? For Gods sake you're going to rip the handle off the door!"
"I didn't get her phone number!" She went to kicking the innocent door and then threw one hell of a temper tantrum in the middle of the room. Jumping up and down and kicking at inanimate objects. "All those hours and I never got her phone number, or where she lives!"
Shane wrapped her arms around the bouncing blonde and held on for dear life.
"Levi she left you right at the damn doorstep, she knows where you live you…blonde!"
Levi calmed down and gave her friend a pat on her clasped hands.
"I guess I'm just really tired. I need some sleep and then I won't have anymore blonde moments."
She kissed Shane on her cheek and stumbled to her room where she fell across her bed still clothed, with in seconds she was snoring loudly.
"God she's impossible." Shane muttered on her way to the kitchen.
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Brody dropped down onto her couch and yawned wide enough to make her jaws pop. Enjoying the peace and quiet, she jumped when she heard loud bangs and then muffled yelling. She was used to hearing loud music and someone singing way off key at times but this was new. She often wondered why she bought a condo; the damn walls were so thin that she could hear her neighbor pissing. She was tempted at times to pound on the bathroom wall and tell the asshole to see a doctor 'cuz it was abnormal to piss that hard and for five minutes. Then the headboard banging and the screams of release sent her running to the bathroom for a cold shower. She was amazed that she got any sleep at all. She heard the low chirp of her digital clock and saw that she would have to be at work in less than an hour.
"Shit! I'm to damn old to be staying out all night and morning and then go into work." Shedding her leather pants and the black silk shirt she wore, she tread into her bedroom to pull her work clothes on. Once dressed, she made a pot of coffee and just about fell asleep watching the coffee brew. The sound of awful singing widened her eyes and brought her back to life. Covering her ears with one hand, she tried to pour the coffee in her work thermos. Grabbing her heavy work coat she trudged to the door on exhausted legs, she hoped that it was a light day at work or she may fall asleep with the fishes.
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"I fall to Reese's pieces, each time I eat you again.
"I fall to Reese's pieces, now can I lick you again.
"You want me to act like we…wever wissssed…aahhh!"
Levi had her hands wrapped around Teddy's throat trying to choke her last breath from her. Leaning forward she grabbed onto her ear with even white teeth and shook her head. Teddy loaded her spoon with fruit loops and flung it backwards hitting Levi in her eye.
"EEEWWW!!!! You bit my ear!"
"You're lucky I didn't kill you!" She used Teddy's shirtsleeve to wipe the milk from her eye. "You really need singing lessons and what the hell did you do to Patsy Clines song?" She then looked down into the cereal bowl and groaned. "Fruit loops and Reese's pieces? That is so gross Teddy."
Carmel colored eyes blinked at her, shaking her head she mumbled. "And what's chocolate milk and orange juice?"
"Junk food with vitamins, where's my Lucky charms?" She searched through the cabinets and ended up crawling on the counter to reach them. Pulling a bowl down while she was up there, she put it on her head, held on to the box with her teeth and crawled back down off the counter. She did a little bow when Teddy started clapping and yelling.
"Can you do a back flip next time and keep the bowl on your head?"
"I can barely walk with out falling down and you want me to do back flips!" She poured her cereal in the bowl, looked into the box, shook it a few times and then let out a howl that wolves would envy. "WHO ATE ALL THE MARSHMELLOWS?"
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Brody heard her boss yelling at her, she opened one eye, sniffed the air and felt her stomach roll at ninety miles an hour. Looking down with the opposite eye, she yelped, jumped back and wiped at her frozen face.
"God damn fish!" She smacked the tuna's head where she had fallen asleep with her face on its side. Pulling the jumbo size jar of Vapor rub from her pocket, she scooped out a large amount and rubbed it on her fishy cheek. Instantly her eyes started to water and her nose ran. A low whimper came to her lips; her face burning made everything else seem like nothing.
"Can I go home, I don't feel good." She whined to her boss.
The old man took one look at her red-rimmed eyes, runny nose and shook his head at her.
"Go on Brody, you look pitiful. Get some rest will ya."
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Using a scrub brush, Brody scoured every inch of her body until it was a bright pink and she could no longer smell fish. Wrapping a towel around her waist, she went straight to her bed and collapsed into a deep sleep. The world could have fallen in on her and she would have never known until it was too late. The sunset and the stars came out to dance across the sky and so did the mad thumpers in the condo that joined hers. Rolling over on to her back, she pulled her pillow over her face and kicked her heels into the mattress. Flinging the pillow at the thin wall, she bellowed to "KNOCK IT OFF!" Crawling from her bed, she pulled on her leather trench coat, cross trainers and headed to her front door. She was going to give them a piece of her mind once and for all. Stomping around the side of her condo, she went up to the front door and pounded until the door rattled in its frame. Long minutes later, she still stood there with no satisfaction of punching someone. Going back to her own place, she went in to her bedroom, started pounding on the wall until the single poster of Xena and Gabrielle fell of the wall and hit the floor. Her temper shot through the roof and with a war cry, she punched the wall and fell right through into the other condo. Coughing from the drywall dust, she looked up from where she lay on her stomach next to a bed. Peeking up over the edge, she came nose to nose with someone. Yelping she fell back on her ass and blinked. Green eyes gazed down at her and then a bright smile crossed pink lips.
"Nice of you to drop in Brody, but we do have a front door."
Brody fell back on the floor and groaned, she wanted to see Levi again but this wasn't exactly how she had seen it in her minds eye. She sat up when she heard snorting noises and saw that it was Levi in the middle of hysterics.
"Yeah yeah, I know you think it's funny. Now I have to fix the huge hole that now joins our…bedrooms. Her eyes narrowed at Levi. "Was that you banging on the wall and making all those screaming noises?" Just then, two screams came from the other wall. "Zeus' tits, what the hell was that?"
Levi fell forward and rolled off the edge of the bed to land between Brody's spread legs. Her face turned a beat red and she gulped before looking up into sleepy blue eyes.
Sobering quickly she gasped. "Uuhhmm…you're…naked under there."
"Yeah well, I was sleeping until the thumpers started beating down the walls." A huge evil grin spilt her face, wiggling an eyebrow at Levi, she said in a low sultry voice. "Want me to flash you?"
"Want me to pass out?"
Two sets of eyes looked at the red-faced women lying on the floor, snickers came from behind hands as Shane and Teddy saw the position Levi was in.
"Dive Levi dive!"
She didn't think her face could turn any redder than it already was, getting up off the floor; Levi held out a hand to Brody and pulled her to her feet.
"Here's your thumpers, the crazy looking one is Teddy and the one who screams the loudest is Shane. Morons, this is Brody, now if you'll excuse us we're going to her place for coffee." She took Brody's hand and pulled her through the new doorway in her bedroom.
"When did she put that door there?" Teddy asked with wide eyes.
"Come on you crazy bitch, Levi bought marshmallow stuff in the jar."
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"I hope you don't think I'm being to forward or anything." Levi said while pulling a stunned Brody through her condo. "'Cuz with those two moron's busting into my room, Shane would have been giving you the third degree and on top of all that she would have wanted to know why you broke through the wall in to my bedroom, how you did it and if you're some kind of handyman and could you remodel our bathroom and kitchen." She took a deep breath, turned and looked in to unbelieving blinking blue eyes. "Why did you break through the wall, I mean you couldn't have known it was my room, then again…" A large hand covered her mouth; Brody shook her head to clear it and took a large gulp of air before pulling Levi down on to the couch.
"You said all that with out breathing!"
"Sorry, I kind of babble when I'm nervous." She tried to keep her eyes from going to the long muscular legs that were showing from where the long trench coat was laying to the side. Taking in the length of thigh, her jaw dropped open and she became speechless. "I ahh…"
"Fell through, no, no, I didn't and I need some coffee."
Blinking green eyes looked up at her and then down to the muscles in her legs flexing as she rose from the couch and turned to go to her kitchen. Following on weak legs, Levi tripped over the edge of the couch and landed on her back, where she got a good look up the trench coat. Her jaw dropped open and worked for soundless seconds before Brody pulled her to her feet and pulled her to the kitchen.
"Why don't you start the coffee, I'm going to put some clothes on."
Levi nodded her head in both directions as Brody turned her back, she wanted to follow and watch but her feet remained planted to the floor. Before she was able to turn away from the tall woman, a trench coat fell from her shoulders to show wide shoulders, tight gluts and very long legs. Levi gasped and grabbed at her chest fearing her heart was about to jump out of her chest and fall on the floor. Brody glanced over her shoulder and gave one of her best sultry looks, which all but put the small blonde on the kitchen floor.
A low mumbling came from inside her head. "Snap out of it Levi! What the hell is wrong with you it's not as if you've never seen a woman naked before. Well not one that looks like Brody." Running a hand across her face and taking a calming breath, she decided to look for the coffee making stuff while Brody was changing. She prayed and offered her own body as a sacrifice if Brody would come out in a see through black silk negligee that left nothing for her wicked imagination. Pulling open cabinets, she looked for the coffee and sugar. Her blonde moment ran out the door when she realized that a lot of people put their coffee in the refrigerator. She had her hand on the door when a deep voice said from behind her.
"Please don't open that."
She turned to see blue eyes pleading with her. Pulling open the door while still facing Brody, who had now clapped her hands over her face. Levi turned her head took one look, screamed and fell back from the site before her.
"Holly shit! Ohh my Gods, what the Sam hell is that?" She pointed with a trembling finger as the other hand clasped her chest and rapidly failing heart. She didn't know if she could stand another scare. "Are you a mobster or something?"
Brody quickly moved to close the refrigerator door to conceal what was inside.
"Well…no I'm…it's really not very exciting." She opened a cabinet over the counter and pulled down the coffee. "Not to mention it's not very pleasant on the senses either." She noticed the pale face waving back and forth in front of her and reached out just in time to keep Levi from falling to the floor. Wrapping an arm around her waist, she led her back to the living room. "Relax and make yourself at home, I'll get the coffee and be back in a minute." She ran to the kitchen, yanked open the refrigerator door and hid the large tuna that was on the top shelf by stuffing it in a plastic bag. "Just my luck, I get a gorgeous woman in here and you scare her!" She jabbed the fish in its side and shoved it in the crisper. A few minutes later she brought out two steaming cups of coffee, sugar in little packs and little creamers that she had stole from 7-11. "I didn't know how you liked your coffee." She put the sugar and creamers on the coffee table and took a seat at the far end of the couch. It was then that Levi noticed to her disappointment that Brody was wearing a pair of baggy sweats with paint stains on them and a Taco Bell T-shirt with the Chihuahua on the front. The silence was killing them, so Brody being the bravest opened her mouth and stuttered.
"I'll get…drywall…fix hole."
Green eyes blinked, a dark brow rose over a left eye while one side of her pink lips twitched. Seeing the tall woman so flustered was adorable, she expected the rough and tough hit man type after seeing the huge fish in the refrigerator. She thanked whom ever, that it wasn't a horse head, she knew that would have killed her.
"When ever you get the time is fine with me." I hope you can put up a steel barrier! Her little voice screamed. If not, she would push her dresser in front of the hole along with every heavy object she had in the condo. I don't want to hear any funny noises, like screams of pain and agony coming from over here. She shivered and rubbed her goose bump covered arms. Trying not to look like she was looking, Levi searched the room for telltale signs of bloodshed. Probably under the carpeting, they always hide bloodstains there.
"Are you all right, you look a little pale." Brody asked as she moved closer to Levi. "I know it's not the best coffee in the world, I could make you some tea if you'd like."
"No this is fine, thanks. I'm just a little tired; I should go and let you get some sleep." She got up from the couch and walked slowly to the front door half expecting to hear the click of a pistol behind her. With her hand on the doorknob, she turned half way and waved at Brody.
"You could have gone back the way we came."
"Nah, this way I can scare the shit out of Shane and Teddy, I know they're in my room with their big ears trying to hear us." She opened the door and rushed out to stand on the doorstep taking in deep breathes. Bumping into the Bio Hazard can got her curiosity up, pulling the lid up; she gasped at the site of bloody clothes and covered her mouth and nose when the stench hit her.
"My Gods! She keeps the murder evidence right at her front door!" Slamming the lid closed, she ran around the other side of the condo and to her front door. Gasping for breath, she high tailed it to find her roomies who were sitting on the floor next to the huge hole in her wall. When they saw her, they tried to look like they weren't spying.
Shane stuttered over her words. "Uhhmm we were…trying to figure out…"
"How to fix…your secret passage." Teddy gave her a forced grin. They looked at her when she placed a finger over her lips and motioned for them to follow her.
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"You're kidding right?" Shane whispered. "A Mafia hit man?"
"Bloody clothes in a trash can?" Teddy remarked then shivered.
"I'm not exaggerating, they're right there on her doorstep. And the huge nasty fish in the refrigerator wasn't my imagination."
Teddy gave her a toothy grin, winked then dug a huge hole for her self.
"I'd go out with her anyway, she's a THUD!" She ducked but not quickly enough for the hand that smacked the back of her head. "OOOWW! Why'd ya do that Pooh bear?"
Hazel eyes drilled into her, Shane raised her hand again and watched Teddy hide behind Levi.
"You're cut off Teddy! No more for you until you keep your eyeballs off other woman!"
Clamping her hands over her golden eyes, she tried to get her self out of her state of celibacy.
"I ain't looking, I didn't look…Levi, that woman is fugly!"
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Forgetting about the hole in the wall, Brody shrugged out of her clothes, stretched her aching muscles and heard a loud thump come from the room next to hers. Leaning back a bit she saw Levi lying on her back on the floor. She was about to step through the hole when a horrible snoring noise reached her ears. Figuring that it was a usual thing for Levi to fall out of bed, she crawled into her own and fell asleep minutes later.
Levi peeked into the other room and was glad not to see Brody; she couldn't help herself earlier, who in their right mind would not watch a beautiful woman disrobe and stretch her assets to their fullest. Her breathing was still ragged from the little show of silky looking flesh. "Can I still go out with her knowing she kills people?" That little voice of hers was yelling at the top of its lungs. "YES!"
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Brody was cussing under her breath as she tore her closet apart, she had forgotten to do laundry the night before and now had to wear the white coverall's that were provided for her from the fish company. She hated the things because they made her look like the Orkin man. Not to mention that the damn things were too short in the torso area and had her singing soprano every time she bent over. Sliding her feet into her boots, she then stomped to the front door and slammed it as hard as she could. She could hear the glass rattle in the front window and yells coming from the other tenants.
"Fuck ya'll, stupid lazy ass white collar workers." Slamming the door on her truck, she pulled the glove compartment open, and retrieved three M-80's. A wicked grin came across her face as she lit the fuses and tossed them into the small front yard next to her condo. Three loud booms went off and then every dog with in ten miles started barking and howling. To top off the 5am start, she blew the horn on her truck all the way out of the parking lot.
As she pulled her truck in to the lot at the warehouse, she noticed that the truck that brought the fish wasn't there. That could only mean one thing; she would end up gutting and taking the head off the fish that were all ready there. She didn't really mind it to much since it gave her back and shoulders a rest from all the heavy lifting. Going through the side door, she grabbed a rubber apron and headed to the gutting station as she called it. She was the only person there besides her boss, whom was sitting on a tall stool reading the newspaper and eating a donut.
"You are the noisiest damn person around Brody; I heard that god awful truck of yours backfiring two miles away. When ya gonna get the damn thing fixed."
She steeped so that the little man had to lean back to look into her pale blue eyes.
"When you give me a damn raise ya old buzzard, that's when." She grabbed the three-inch hair that grew on his ears and gave it a yank. "When ya gonna go to the dog groomer and get clipped?"
His watery blue eyes looked up at her, a small grin formed on his face to show his ill-fitting false teeth.
"When your Grandma gives me the damn money, cheap old biddy rather spend it on Bingo night."
Brody pulled out her gutting knife and waved it close to his ear.
"I'll clip ya for free Gramps."
"Oohh no ya won't nether, you'll make me look like Mr. Spock. All pointy eared and shit." He slapped her in the stomach, climbed down from his stool and grabbed his apron. "Come on youngin, let's get this over with.
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With all the noise that Brody made in her condo, Levi was able to sleep right through it with out even rolling over. Now sleepy green eyes blinked at the bright sunlight streaming in through her bedroom window. A low moan and a pillow was pressed over her face to block out the morning noises from her neighbors and the offending light.
"Hate mornings, who's damn stupid idea was it to invent mornings?" She babbled to herself as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and wiggled her toes. Pulling her Tweedy bird T-shirt over her head, she flung it on the floor, stood up and froze as she saw the huge hole in her wall. Covering her breasts, she moved closer to the hole and peeked her head inside to see the huge mess.
"Looks like a tornado went through here." Listening for any noise, she crept through the hole and called out Brody's name in a whisper. "What the hell am I doing?" She asked herself as she went creeping through Brody's bedroom and out into the living room.
"Hello…Brody…anyone home?" Looking around her, she saw that she was all alone, a big grin came to her face with the thought of being able to snoop around her new friend's home. The grin disappeared quickly. "What if I find a dead body in the closet or something?" Shivers went down her back and goose bumps rose on her flesh. "Easy, I'll scream bloody murder, run back in my bedroom and hide under my bed." Moving to the bathroom, she flipped on the light and immediately saw six bottles of lemon scented bleach.
"What the hell does she need all the bleach for?" Looking into the bathtub area, she saw Herbal shampoo, conditioner, a rusty razor and Lever 2000 body wash. "That's normal, but why all the bleach. Ohh shit, to get rid of blood stains!" Going back into the living room she found nothing of interest and knew she had better get back to her own room before she got caught, before she left, she opened the top drawer of Brody's dresser and found a pair of handcuffs, vibrator, and four packs of D batteries, leather harness and other sex toys. She could feel her face burning and knew if she didn't get out of there she would be tempted to play with Brody's toys.
"Find anything interesting?" A deep voice came from behind her.
"FUCK ME SHANE!" She clasped her chest and took a ragged breath. "Don't sneak up on me like that, Gods you could have given me a heart attack!"
"You'd deserve it ya know. Anyway, what's our Mafia Princess got in her drawers?" Shane slapped her forehead and groaned. "Ohhh I forgot, you haven't gotten that far yet."
Green eyes blazed, Levi smacked Shane in her stomach and stomped past her and into her own bedroom.
"I wouldn't tell you anyway…pervert."
Shane came bouncing in the room, jumped on Levi's bed and wiggled her tongue at her.
"Ohh you'll tell me all right, hell the entire state will know when you do get that far!"
Levi braced her hands on her hips and glared at her roommate.
"What are you insinuating?"
"How longs it been since you've had your oil changed…three…four…Ohh that's right, it's going on five years! You'll scream so loud the roof will fly off!"
"Ohh yeah? Well you're gonna scream right now because I'm gonna beat the hell outta you!" Levi sprang across the room and jumped on Shane, placing a pillow over her head, she jumped up and down on her roommate until she heard her scream for Teddy. "She can't save your sorry ass, she's at work!" She laughed hysterically until she was pounced on and found herself being held down by something big and hairy. "Damn! I can never win, no fair tag teaming poor little me."
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"Don't even think about it Gramps." Brody shook a gloved finger at her grandpa. "I smell bad enough when I get home without your help."
"Aaahh what's a matter youngin, women won't come near ya?" He hauled his hand back and threw fish guts all over the front of her.
"She won't now!" She grumbled. "Hell I may clear the whole neighborhood after today!" She scraped the guts off her chest and the apron and threw then back at her grandpa. "Take that ya old buzzard!"
"Good, now maybe the old biddy will stay away from me tonight. Damn woman wants sex all the time, I'm 70 years old, what do I need sex for?"
Brody scrunched up her face and shivered, she didn't like the picture that had formed in her head.
"EEWW! Gramps I didn't need that picture in my head."
"Lucky you, I have ta see it at night! All 200lbs of it, all wrinkled and saggy. Damn biddy's tits hang ta her knees." He shivered and then gave his granddaughter a wicked grin. "I stepped on one once, she howled like a banshee."
Blue eyes narrowed, Brody's brain tried to figure out how he had done something like that, so making the biggest mistake of the day, she asked.
"She was putting her slippers on and I got out of bed, thought the floor felt a little funny but with my half numb feet I couldn't tell what it was till she howled and smacked me a good one."
Brody closed her eyes and tried to shake the image from her brain. "I'm ruined for life, no more women!" That's what she thought until a little green-eyed blonde came to mind. OK, maybe just one.
"Just wait youngin, one day some little hot thing will make your head spin like your grandma did to mine. Then you're toast for the next 60 or 70 years. Or wish you were when gravity hits her like a ton of bricks!"
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The morons and Levi were scrunched down in the seat of her car, dark hats and sunglasses were their disguises for their little recon mission. They wanted to see when Brody came home if she was toting a gun case, they had seen Mafia movies and knew the hit men carried such things along with having huge pistols hidden under their suit jackets.
"What happens if she does have one?" Teddy whispered from the backseat.
"I have no idea, run like hell?"
Shane rolled her eyes. "Chicken shits, both of you." Looking to the side, she saw Brody's truck coming towards them. "Shit, here she comes." They dropped further down into the seats and tried not to look suspicious.
Brody climbed from her truck, stretched her back out and groaned loud enough for them to hear her. Scratching her ass and one tit, she turned to scan the parking lot for people to scare. Unzipping her coverall's she slipped them from her shoulders as she made her way to her front door. Once she was bare ass naked, she dropped the soiled coverall's into the Biohazard can and went into her condo.
"Gods have mercy I'm blind!" Teddy said from the back seat where she was covering her caramel colored eyes. "I didn't see her tit's…or her tight ass…honest Pooh bear." Peeking from behind a finger, she saw that both her wife and roommate had their jaws hanging on their chests. "Hey did you hear me?"
Two sets of eyes turned towards her and blinked before turning back to look at Brody's front door.
"That's it Pooh bear, you're cut off!" Teddy sunk back in the seat and pouted. "Ain't fair, I look and get in trouble but you can drool all over your chest and it's OK."
Shane found her voice, she shoved Levi in her shoulder and just about blew her ears off when she yelled.
"God damn Levi go jump her bones!"
Levi's mouth was still hanging open, she used her hand to push her jaw up. A few silent seconds went by before she left out the breath she didn't know she had been holding.
"Did you see her muscles? My Gods, she ripples when she walks!" Rubbing her wide eyes, she looked back to the door and mumbled. "Didn't see that last night, wonder if she'll put up a plexi glass wall?"
Teddy couldn't help herself, she hated to be ignored. "Guess it don't matter that she had blood all over the front of her?" Two heads spun and looked at her.
"What blood?" They said in unison.
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Sneaking from Levi's rusty Pinto, they looked around them then ran to Brody's front door. Levi picked the lid up, pulled out the coveralls and fell against Shane.
"See, bloodstains." The three of them quickly covered their noses from the stench of the cans contents.
"Geez that stuff needs to be burned!" Shane mumbled close to Levi's ear. "No wonder they're outside." They turned when footsteps were heard on the other side of the door; they bumped and stumbled into each other trying to get away from the door. They had all gotten untangled from each other when it opened to show a naked Brody.
"Hi guys, what're ya doing?" She looked down at the three cringing women.
Teddy turned to face her, her caramel colored eyes glowing. "We were just looking at your bl…." A sharp jab to her ribs from Shane shut her up.
"Blooming shrubs…yeah that's it." Levi finished lamely. "We want to ahh…plant some just like yours." She elbowed a groaning Shane. "What kind are…Gods have mercy!" She hungrily took in the tall naked muscular body before her. "We should be going…shrubs to buy…" A low moan escaped her lips when Brody stretched one arm up to the top of the door, the play of muscles rippled across her ribcage and stomach. Levi's mouth fell open and she blinked wide green eyes.
"Come on in, I was about to grill some fresh sea bass."
She reached out, grabbed the front of Levi's shirt and pulled her into the condo. Walking towards her bedroom, she motioned to the living room. "Make yourselves at home while I shower and put some clothes on."
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They watched as Brody spun between her fingers a wicked looking knife, Teddy ran her hand across her throat and wondered if she would see the next day. Shane and Levi locked eyes with each other and gulped from the sound of the knife hitting the wooden cutting board. Brody looked over her shoulder at the frightened women and grinned, she knew they were scared shitless by the paled skin tones and wide eyed expressions on their faces. Thank the Gods I'm using my little knife.
"So you guys like seafood? I get fresh fish from the docks all the time."
Mumbles and grunts came from her scared audience. She had never seen three women act like them before; then again, she rarely had any company. What woman would want anything to do with a fish gutter?
"I have a couple bottles of white wine, Levi why don't you open one and I'll show you were the glasses are."
"Uuhhmm OK." She replied in a high voice. "Do you have a cork screw?"
"Don't need one; Bubba puts the stuff in screw top bottles."
The name Bubba echoed through three heads, they pictured a large man with a long beard, no teeth and prison tattoos all over his arms pouring rotgut wine into MD 20/20 bottles and capping them with rusty lids. Between the two ways of dying, they all picked the wicked knife.
"Here they are." Brody pointed with the knife at the bottles sitting on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. Levi pulled one of the bottles out and looked at the expensive parchment label. It said the wine was made in Loudon county Virginia.
"I've heard of this place, they are ranked really high in the wine making business." Hope it's strong enough to deaden my nerve endings so when she kills us it doesn't hurt as much.
"I get it cheap…actually I get it free." She gave them a toothy grin. "Helps when ya know the owners."
Four bottles later, fish bones on a platter and four drunken women sitting around the table snickering at each other's intoxicated state was something Brody hadn't experienced in a long time. With eyes glassy, she looked at her friends with blurred vision. One small blonde caught her attention and held it; Levi was wiggling her eyebrows at her and giving her not so subtle advances. She felt a sock covered foot run up her leg and go towards her crotch but fall short. She held back the moan that wanted so badly to come out. She watched as Levi scooted down in her chair and try again with her attempt. A loud thump came from across the table and then snorting noises from Teddy and Shane.
"She's wasted." Shane slurred and fell into her lover. "Think its bed time Teddy bear." She licked the side of her lovers face, fell across her lap and passed out.
After Brody helped Teddy get Shane to their bedroom, she went back for Levi. Looking under the kitchen table, she found her curled around the table leg in a fetal position. Lifting the table up, she moved it far enough away so that she could pick Levi up. She immediately wrapped her arms around Brody's neck and nuzzled the area beneath her ear. Mumbles vibrated against her skin as moist lips moved, heat flowed down to settle between Brody's legs, a dampness formed within seconds from the small blonde's fingers brushing the back of her neck. A low groan escaped Brody's lips when teeth nipped the flesh below her ear.
Ohh Gods have mercy on me, I can't handle this! She said to herself as her legs became weak at the knees and her breath came in ragged spurts. Not my ear, please don't lick…mother of Zeus! Stepping through the hole in the wall, she stumbled on weak legs to Levi's bed. Gently laying the small blonde down and unclasping the strong arms from around her neck, she was thankful when Levi started snoring deeply. Pulling her shoes off and covering her up with the comforter, she quietly went to her own room where she dropped onto the edge of her bed. Leaning her head back, she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself.
"What has gotten into me, hell what got into them?" She asked herself and then replayed the events that started the night and remembered that she had laundry to do. Retrieving the Biohazard container, she dragged it to her laundry room and dumped it into the industrial sized washer. After adding all kinds of different detergents and half a cup of Oxiclean to it, she closed the lid and started the washer. She couldn't figure out why her friends were so interested in her nasty work clothes or why they were dressed like a bunch of cat burglars. "I know no one in their right minds would want to steal my work clothes." Chuckling under her breath, she went back to her bedroom and peeked through the hole to see Levi still sprawled across her bed. "You are going to pay dearly for drinking all that wine."
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Levi squinted at the light coming in through her window, pain radiated through her head and made her feel as if hot pokers were being pushed through her eyes. A deep groan rumbled from her chest and made her head hurt worse from the noise. Clasping her head between trembling hands, she tried to sit up in bed. "Why was I soo stupid?" Rolling on her side, she pulled her pillow over her head and moaned. "Ohh Gods!" She yelled, threw the pillow across the room and gagged. "Something died in my mouth and I think it's still there!" She could taste and smell the garlic that Brody had used in the small fried potatoes that they had for supper the night before. Falling to the floor, she crawled her way to the bathroom and searched for her mouthwash, toothbrush and peroxide toothpaste. "If that doesn't kill it nothing will." She mumbled before drinking the mouthwash right from the bottle. After swishing it around a while and spitting, she spent another five minutes scrubbing her teeth. It was then that she looked in the mirror and screamed in terror, her hair was beyond tousled; she looked like a dinosaur with the spiny ridge down the center of its head. Sheet wrinkles creased the side of her face, her eyes puffy and red with spider webs and to top it all off. This nagging suspicion of doing something totally asinine to Brody.
"Ohh Levi, what did you do?"
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Pulling open a Styrofoam box, Brody squinted to see through the murky water. She had found the box at the very back of the truck she had unloaded, she asked the driver if it was theirs or belonged to the previous stop he had made that day. He had no idea and told her she could have the damn box as he so lightly put it before pulling his fat ass back into the cab of the truck.
Mumbling to her self as she moved the box back and forth to make the water move. "Lard ass, hate crabby males. Hope your dick gets smashed from your gut dropping on it." Giving up on seeing through the water, she took it to the edge of the dock and poured it out on the ground below. "Zeus' hairy nuts!" She yelped then jumped back a good two foot when a huge lobster snapped at her ankles.
"Whatcha got youngin?" Brody's grandpa asked as he came to stand beside her. "That looks like supper to me, nice big male to."
Brody gave her grandpa a horrified look, shaking her head at him she quickly grabbed the snapping lobster by its back and put it back in its box.
"I can't eat him, he's…to…" She looked down at the creature that had lost one of his claws. "Injured…he only has one snapping thingie."
"You soft hearted little imp, ya eat all the other stuff that comes through here and now when ya get something that would curl your toes you're gonna make a pet out of it." Scratching his bald spot, he clicked his dentures a few times before he went back in to the warehouse mumbling under his breath.
"What would curl my toes is a little blonde imp, not a crusty ole lobster." A bright smile came to her face just thinking about Levi. "Wonder how the gang is feeling this morning, Bubba's wine can give ya a hell of a headache." Putting the box in the back of her truck, she went back into the warehouse to help gut and repack the fish that had come in that day. Their little business supplied all the stores and restaurants with fresh seafood seven days a week, and once repacked per order; they were either picked up or delivered to the places. She had been working with her grandparents since she was ten years old. She had always spent a lot of time with them but it became permanent when both her parents died in a Cessna when it crashed during an emergency landing in Texas. Now 20 years later, she was still hauling fish around and still enjoying it, except for the smell she knew she would never get used to. She turned her head when she heard her grandpa yell her name, rolling her eyes when he added lobster saver at the end.
"Ya want these shrimp, the store said they have way too many of them?"
"They refusing shipment?" She asked while looking in the box.
"Yep, and these are those jumbo sized ones. We can clean them up real quick like and ya can have them for supper since ya won't eat that lobster." He winked at her with his good eye. "Some garlic butter for a few minutes and you're good ta go."
"I'm thinking…" She looked to the ceiling, pondered for a few seconds and then a shit-eating grin covered her face. "Caribbean coconut shrimp with a marmalade-ginger sauce."
Rolling his eyes at her, he snorted. "Youngin, ya should be in some fancy smancy restaurant cooking for rich folks instead of hauling around smelly fish."
"And what would you and grandma do without me?"
"Retire! Travel the world and…on second though, got a good-looking lady friend that would travel with me? I couldn't handle seeing that old biddy on some white sandy beach in her 1920's swimsuit."
Brody shivered at the thought of seeing her boney grandpa in a pair of Speedo's with his skinny white legs. She knew she didn't want to imagine her plump grandma in a swimsuit that would give her nightmares for weeks.
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Levi was all alone for the night, she had taken off work because of feeling like the floor of a porn theatre and Teddy and Shane had gone to the movies to see some movie with The Rock in it. Scorpion something or other, she couldn't remember. She planed on having a quiet night of watching TV and having a Stouffer's meatloaf and potatoes dinner. Besides cooking breakfast, she couldn't boil water with out damaging it. Her ears perked up at the sound of a sultry voice coming through the walls of the living room, turning the TV down she made out the words to Alicia Keyes song Fallen, but the voice wasn't Alicia's. Going to the wall, she pressed her ear to it and listened to Brody's sultry voice.
"Ohh baby, you can sing to me any day." She moaned deep in her chest as she slid to the floor. "Do I care that you're a hit man? NOT!"
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Brody pulled the fresh bread from the oven, placed it on the cutting board beside the glass-cooking dish that contained the shrimp, in a dish next to it were snow peas with a buttery white wine sauce she had invented one day. Going towards her bedroom, she yelled Levi's name.
"Levi! You hungry?" She waited by the doorway until she heard feet running towards her. She couldn't help but grin at the small woman, she was dressed in tartan boxers with a Porky pig T-shirt on. "I cooked up some shrimp and I was wondering if you guys wanted to join me for supper?"
Green eyes flashed at the mention of shrimp, she loved shrimp. Actually, she loved food, one of the reasons she was a food critic. Better yet having parents who owned a restaurant and guest chefs a couple time a week to keep her taste buds from getting bored.
"Shane and Teddy aren't here, would you mind if it was just me?"
"Of course not, come on before it gets cold." She took the small hand in hers and led her to the kitchen. After pushing her down into a chair, she served up a huge portion of the coconut shrimp and other trimmings. She smiled when Levi moaned with her first mouthful. "Do you like it?"
"Ohh gods, Caribbean coconut shrimp. Do you always cook like this? This is excellent, and the sauce on the peas, I've never tasted it before."
A light blush colored Brody's face from the compliment; she gave a small smile to her friend and offered her more bread.
"I kinda invented the sauce, it's really easy to make." She leaned back in her chair and grabbed a pitcher of iced tea. "I made some orange spice tea; I don't like to drink too much wine."
Levi waved her fork around and spoke with her mouth full.
"After last night, I don't want any wine for a great while. Still feel a little weak; in fact I called in to work sick."
"I'm sorry, it's my fault you feel so bad. I should have warned you guys that Bubba's wine was potent. Will you get in trouble with your boss?"
Levi chuckled and took a drink of the spicy tea.
"Nah, I'm pretty easy going on myself, the only thing I would have missed was a meal."
Brody looked confused, her blue eyes narrowed as her left eyebrow rose.
"Huh? Ya lost me after the nah part."
"I'm a freelance food critic at Giorgio's; I eat there every night for free. Plus my parents own the place, so even if I wasn't a food critic I would still eat for free." She took a bite of her shrimp and gazed across the table at Brody, she battled with her self as whether to ask her about her job. She threw caution to the wind and asked.
"Me? I have the most un-glorified job around. I work at the docks; you know warehouses and stuff. I unload trucks full of fish." Offering Levi more shrimp, she grinned when she piled her plate with more of everything. "Ever heard of Crusty's Seafood?"
"Uhh huh…arents et ish err." She asked with a full mouth.
"That's where I work; I've worked there for 20 years."
"What! Have they ever heard of child labor laws?"
Brody quirked an eyebrow. "How old do you think I am?"
"Ohh please don't make me answer that. I really suck at guessing ages. But I do know that you have spent most of your life at this job. You don't look close to forty is what I'm saying here." She closed her eyes and prayed for a tornado or something to rescue her; she opened one eye when she heard a deep laugh come from Brody.
"Actually, my grandparents couldn't keep me away from the place." She leaned forward across the table and whispered. "My grandma is a slave driver though. Had me sitting on a stool cleaning fish as soon as I could hold a knife." Taking her plate to the sink, she set it inside and returned to get the rest of the empty dishes; she was surprised when her hands were slapped away and Levi carried the rest to the sink and started running water to wash them.
"You don't have to do that, I was going to clean them up later." She said as she joined Levi at the sink.
"Nope, you cooked. So that means I clean." She gave Brody a light slap in her stomach, grinned up into smiling blue eyes and handed her a dishtowel. "You can dry them though."
They worked in silence, each thinking their own thoughts of how right it felt to be doing dishes together, almost homey. When it was all done, Brody put on a pot of coffee for them and pulled a strawberry cheesecake from the refrigerator.
"Ohh my, you definitely know how to reach a women's heart don't you?"
"To be honest, last night was the first time I've ever cooked for anyone besides my grandparents."
Levi placed a hand on Brody's forearm and gave a slight squeeze. "Thank you for asking me to join you on both nights. You're an excellent cook and I hope to taste more of your creations. Now for that cheesecake, did you?" She waved her hand towards the extremely thick desert.
"Nope, I'm no baker but grandma is."
"They wouldn't consider adopting me would they?"
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"Pleeeease grandma, I don't wanna go ta bingo." Brody whined over the phone. "I know its Thursday, and it's the big pot night but I…have date." She smacked herself in the forehead for saying that. "OK…I'll ask her, bye." Slumping on the couch, she covered her head with a throw pillow and screamed out her stupidity.
"How the hell am I supposed to do this, I can't ask her to come with me so I can take grandma to Bingo? I'll just tell grandma she was busy and couldn't come." Rubbing her face with her hands, she tried to come up with something but knew no matter what she told her grandma, the old woman would know she had lied. "Come on badness, you can ask Levi if she wants to watch your little grandma wipe the floor at bingo. Promise her supper afterwards, she'll go9 for food." She knew that was a given since the little blonde had a voracious appetite.
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"So I see you survived a night alone, anything interesting happen with you?" Shane asked while pouring a cup of coffee for herself and her missing wife.
Levi looked up from the comic page and gave her an innocent look.
"What could have happened, I was here with my TV dinner, the TV and…"
"Tall dark and deadly right next door." Shane wiggled her eyebrows. "Did you see her last night?"
"Would it matter if I did? I mean she is our neighbor and cooks a mean Caribbean coconut shrimp dish." She looked into hazel eyes and blushed. "I had a very nice dinner and desert with Brody, then I came back over here and went to bed."
Shane leaned close to her over the table; eyes searched green for what ever Levi wasn't saying. Finding nothing, she sat back in her chair and smiled.
"Gods you're a boring date, she cooks for you and you come back over here and go to sleep alone."
"We've known that her entire life, little goody two shoes Levi."
Without looking at Teddy, she spoke. "Shudup Teddy bear." She turned in her chair and spit coffee all over the floor. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" Teddy stood in front of her in a tiara, white stockings, short fairy gown and a wicked looking wand with a star on top.
"I'm Lady Luck, one word and I'll brain you with my wand!" She waved it under Levi's nose. "It's extra money and all I gotta do is stand out side the 7-11 on King Street."
Levi bit back a full-blown laugh and remarked instead. "Should be Drag Queen Street from the looks of you." A knock at the front door saved her from being smacked with Teddy's wand. "That must be your chariot fairy God mother." She bolted from the kitchen with Teddy hot on her heels. They made it to the front door, Teddy grabbed Levi with one arm and picked her up around her waist, her legs and arms kicking and swinging in mid air, she begged Teddy to put her down.
"Nope, you made fun of me." She pulled the door open to find Brody standing there, blue eyes traveled down to see Levi struggling under her arm. "Looky here, your savior the Mafia Princess." She stepped forward and dropped Levi into Brody's arms, closed the door and locked it. "Takes care of her for a while." With a huge grin on her face, she went back to the kitchen to have breakfast.
Levi looked up from where she was cradled in Brody's arms, blue eyes connected and a huge smile crossed her features.
"Do you get thrown out the door often?"
"Only when I make fun of Teddy, aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Brody put her down on to her feet; she looked at the ground and paused for a second before she built up the courage to ask Levi if she would go with her to Bingo.
"Bingo? You play bingo on Thursdays." A burst of laughter came from Levi; she wiped tears from her cheeks and looked at a blushing Brody. "Sorry, you just don't seem the type to play bingo. Let me get some clothes and we'll go out for breakfast." She turned and tried the doorknob and found it locked. "Damn her fairy self, she locked me out."
"Come on, we'll take the secret passage."
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Ice blue eyes gazed from behind wire rim glasses, light blue colored hair shined under the fluorescent lights of the fire halls community room. "You aren't to big for me ta paddle your ass Brody, now sit still!" Brody jumped when her grandma pinched her thigh, scooting closer to Levi she mumbled under her breath. "I heard that Broderick! Just wait until Bingo is over." A wrinkled hand flashed over and stamped a blue dot right between Brody's eyes.
"Grandma! Geez, this stuff doesn't come off easy." She rubbed the spot to no end and knew that it would still be there. She elbowed a snickering Levi and decided that it was two against one and she was not going to win. "Ohh you think it's funny?" In a flash, Brody turned the end of Levi's nose green. "Now see how funny you think it is." Satisfied with her actions, she went back to marking the squares on her Bingo cards. Glancing to the side, she saw Levi trying to see her reflection in her glass.
"Looks like you had your nose up Kermit the frog's ass."
Green eyes narrowed at her, baring her teeth, she growled.
"You look like the blue dot special at Kmart."
"You both look like juveniles to me, now stop before I beat both your asses."
Two sets of hands twitched on bingo markers, eyes bore into each other, lips twitched in anticipation and then it happened. Grandma jumped up and screamed Bingo. Bingo chips flew at them from every direction, cards came at them like Frisbees and chased them under table.
"Is it always this dangerous here?" Levi asked from where she huddled next to Brody.
"You should be on the blue haired ladies bus to Atlantic city, now that's dangerous."
A dark brow rose over a green eye, Levi couldn't think of how that could be worse.
"How so?"
"Just think of 60 old woman taking their dentures out and loosing them in the three hours it takes to get there."
"Ohh…Ewww gross!"
"What are you two doing under there?" They heard grandma ask from above. "Better not be doing the nasty."
Brody rolled her eyes and moaned.
"Geez grandma, you're a pervert."
She felt a hand on her wrist when she went to crawl out from under the table.
"Hold on a minute, let me see if I can get that marker off of you." She pulled Brody's face close to her, used her thumb to rub the spot and decided it needed something else. Leaning in closer, she licked right between her eyes and felt Brody shiver. When she pulled back, she saw that Brody's blue eyes had darkened. "To hell with it." She whispered right before she captured pink lips in a heated kiss. The kiss broke when Brody yelped and her head hit the underside of the table.
"Did I hurt you?" Levi asked breathlessly.
"Nope…she kicked me." Rubbing her ass with one hand, she used the other to snap her grandma's support hose.
"You two get up here before you set the sprinklers off."
Once they were back in their chairs, it became an all out war between the three of them. When Bingo was over, not only was grandma richer as far as funds went but with multi colored liver spots as well.
"Damn kids, the old man will never touch me now!" She reached up and grabbed Brody by her ear. "You take care of that little one, or I'll kick your ass."
Brody looked a good two foot down into her grandma's eyes and smiled. "I will, don't worry."
"Before I forget." She pulled a bottle of Blackberry Merlot from her huge purse and handed it to Brody. "Let me know how it tastes, don't wanna ship it off if it sucks."
After the older woman waddled into her home, Levi took the bottle from Brody's hand. Looking at the label, she read off the name.
"Bubba's Blackberry Merlot?"
Brody grinned at her and shrugged her shoulders, wrapping an arm around her, she led them back to her truck.
"Yep, grandma always puts her name on the wine bottles somewhere."
Levi stopped walking and turned to look up into sparkling blue eyes. Planting one hand on her hip, she tilted her head to the side and glared at Brody.
"That wine we had the one night was made by your grandma…Bubba?"
"Yep, and my grandpa's Crusty Seafood."
"Just great, your grandma is a moonshiner, grandpa's a crusty old seadog and you're a Mafia Princess." Shaking her head, she took Brody's hand and pulled her the short distance to the truck.
"Mafia Princess?"
"Yeah, we thought you were a hit man, you know the bloody clothes, biohazard container, the big fish in your refrigerator etc…"
"Ohh…kinda the Godfather stuff. Don't worry, I'll never make ya sleep with the fishes."
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Levi snorted at the sight of a very ragged Teddy reclining on the couch, her white hose were snagged and holey, dress smudged with dirt and grime, and an ice bag over her one eye.
"What happened Tinker Belle, Captain Hook get ya?"
"Shudup ya smurf!" She growled and threw the ice bag at her. "What happened to you guys, looks like a weird disease or something?"
"Magic marker fight." She looked closer at Teddy's black eye and cringed. "That looks nasty, who hit you?"
"Some old lady didn't win the lottery last week so she hit me with the samsonite suitcase of a purse she was carrying. Damn thing knocked me right to the ground and then she kept on beating me. Cops hauled her away and charged her with beating on fairies."
"Where's Shane, does she know about this?"
"Still at work and nope. She has ta work late, one of the girls called in again."
"She needs a different job, they keep screwing her over all the time."
Brody leaned over Levi's shoulder and looked at Teddy, she held out the bottle of wine to her and grinned.
"Cures all that ails ya. Where's Shane work?"
"She's a phone operator for a specialized company." Teddy answered and then turned a bright pink.
"She ahh…does phone sex." Levi added and then pulled Brody to the kitchen.
"Phone sex…as in getting horney men off over the phone?"
"Yep, that's the kind. She's really good at it." Levi said lowly.
"Hell ya don't have to tell me, I hear them all the damn time."
Levi pulled open the cabinet door under the kitchen sink, the sound of stuff being moved around, a grunt of pain and then a yell of eureka had Brody wondering what in the hell she was searching for and if she had found a gold stash. Continuing to watch the small blonde move around the kitchen, her eyes watched one part in particular, her ass.
"Does it fit your approval?" She asked without turning around.
"What?" Brody replied even though she never heard what the question was.
"My ass, do you approve or not?"
"Huh?"
She turned and caught unfocused blue eyes starring at her crotch. "You didn't hear a word I said did you?"
"What?"
Waving a hand in front of unblinking blue eyes, she waited until they traveled up her body to stare right at her breasts. Using two fingers under her chin, she tilted her face up so that she could look into her eyes.
"Up here Broderick." She used two fingers to point to her own eyes, grinning when Brody's face turned a beet red. "Horn dog." Leaning forward she placed a soft kiss on her lips and moaned at the silky feel. "Now keep your eyes closed."
"Why?"
"You're impossible, just don't argue with me and do it."
Brody knew when she was beat, she did what Levi said and smelled finger nail polish remover and knew what Levi's intentions were. After they had cleaned the marker off each other's faces, light touches on other body parts flamed the fires. Brody knew that she didn't have a marker spots on her breasts but she wasn't about to complain one little bit. Her face was tucked close to a warm neck, hands cupping what had held her attention for long minutes earlier while a warm tongue licked at her cleavage.
"Ohh come on guys, not on the table. We eat our meals there." Shane smacked Levi on her ass when she walked past. "Get a room for Gods sakes."
Brody cleared her throat, her voice low and raspy when she whispered into Levi's ear. "I should get home, it's late and I have to work in the morning." She hugged Levi close to her chest when she heard her whimper. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, OK?"
"OK, meet me at work at 8pm, we can eat dinner together."
Giving Levi a gentle lingering kiss, she left the small blonde leaning against the kitchen table.
"Ohh I see sparkage here! What were you guys doing with fingernail polish remover?" She sniffed the air and then opened the back door to let the fumes out. "You could get high in here from that stuff." Shane groaned when she heard Teddy whimpering from the living room. "I swear I'm going to blacken her other eye if she doesn't stop that whining. Big damn baby."
Levi ran her fingertips across her lips, a goofy grin split her face right before she tore from the kitchen and headed to her bedroom. Diving onto her bed, she hung over the foot and peeked into Brody's room. She wasn't disappointed when tall dark and naked walked past and got into bed. A loud sigh escaped her lips, rolling over onto her back, she continued to watch what she could see of Brody from an upside down position.
"You're starring!" Was said from the darkened room startling Levi so badly that she fell onto the floor.
"Sorry, goodnight Broderick."
"Goodnight Levi Straus."
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It was still dark when Brody pulled up to the docks, easing her truck close to the wall that divided the building from the dock area. Getting out of the cab, she fished on the passenger seat for her rubber gloves and crate hook. With everything in one hand, she used the other to push her self up onto the dock. An acrid smoke reached her nose, sniffing the air she took in a deeper breath and recognized the smell of marijuana. Peering into the darkness, she could see the red ember of the joint blaze brighter. Snickering sounds and then coughing came from the area of the dock in front of her, hiding near the doors were what she could make out as four dark shapes. Normally she would just run them off, but that was not to be this time, simply because they had once again broken out the security lights. Walking on silent feet, she came to stop right beside one of the dark forms. Grabbing the arm with the joint in the hand, she wrenched it behind his back, spun him around and slammed his face in to the brick wall. A loud crunching nose, and then a groan as his emancipated body dropped to the dock.
Her teeth bared and a snarling noise rumbling in her chest, she turned on the others who were cowering in the corner of the building.
"Who's next?" She growled at them.
"You fucking cunt! You got no business doing that!" One of them yelled at her. "Now you'll pay!" He screamed as he charged at her with a straight razor gleaming in the early morning rays. Brody blocked the razor with her forearm, threw up her fist and struck the addict in his throat. His eyes bulged and rolled back in his head before he fell to the dock. Spinning to the side, she avoided another blade from the third addict; a spot light shone past her and then settled right in her eyes blinding her from the addicts. Throwing up her hand to block the bright light, left her open to a hard blow to her jaw and a sharp searing pain across her back. A loud commanding voice yelled "Police Freeze!" The sound of pounding feet came towards her as well as away, with her vision coming back; she had a split second to see what was transpiring around her before she was thrown to the dock, a knee on the side of her head holding her down, while someone handcuffed her. Once her hands were secure, she felt sharp pains in her ribs, lower back, face and then the feeling of falling.
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Two hours later Brody's grandpa Crusty was confronted by a furious truck driver. Holding his hands in the air, he yelled for the man to "Hold your horses!"
"Now calm down and tell me what's got your shorts in a wad?"
The man's face was beet red, a large vein pulsed in his forehead and his breathing was erratic and came close to the conditions of hyperventilating.
"I've been here for over an hour waiting for someone to show up so that my truck to unloaded. I'm 35 minutes late for another pick-up and my boss is pissed enough to dock me for the whole damn day!"
Crusty scratched the three-day growth of beard on his chin; looking at the driver with his wandering eye, he nodded his head.
"Where the hell is that youngin? You see a silver pick-up truck when you come in?"
"It's sitting near the wall, I ain't seen Brody or anyone else and the doors were all locked until you opened them."
"Damn. Something ain't right here; maybe she's sleeping in her truck?"
"Nope, I checked. Did find a pair of rubber gloves and a crate hook lying on the ground near the dock. I put them near the wall there."
Crusty followed his finger, walked over and picked them up. Flipping the large gloves over in his hands, he noticed a few drops of blood on them, scuffmarks and blood littered the dock near the door as well.
"Please Gods don't let nothing happen to my granddaughter." He pressed the gloves to his chest and jogged into the warehouse. "Using the phone near the time clock, he called in one of the workers from the afternoon shift to come in and work. Then he called Bubba at home and asked her to come to the warehouse, even if it meant coming in her housecoat. When she asked him what the hurry was, all he said was that something happened to Brody. Going back out to the docks with tear-filled eyes, he asked the driver if he could wait for the other worker to get there.
"What's wrong Crusty?" The driver placed a hand on the old man's shoulder and looked into his worried blue eyes.
"Look at her gloves and then look at the ground near the door."
"Dear Lord, what happened here?" He looked closer and found a joint lying in a crevice near the brick wall. "This ain't good Crusty." He held the joint up to show him. "I know Brody doesn't use drugs."
Crusty wiped an errant tear from his face. "No she hates drugs and who ever use's the damn things."
"I'll unload the truck for ya Crusty and I'll call some friends and see if they can find out anything about what happened here."
"Thanks Sonny, I appreciate any help ya can give me. She's my only grandchild."
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Her head ached, ribs throbbed and in total, she felt like she had been hit by a truck. Trying to open one eye sent sharp pains through her left temple. Raising one hand up towards her head, she found that it was chained the concrete slab she was sprawled on.
"What the hell?" She peeked from one eye and saw that everything was blurry, using her other hand, she felt a crusty substance on the side of her face and all the way down her neck. Stretching her back, she gasped when a sharp pain shot through her shoulder and back. "Ohh is grandpa gonna kill me, shit grandma will beat him to it!" Dropping her head down onto one arm, she lay there thinking of what had happened and why she was chained to the slab. "Shit! They think I was with those assholes!" She sat up and felt the room spin, forcing back nausea, she yelled for what seemed hours before she heard the jingle of keys and a cool breeze brush across her face.
"What do you want?"
"What time is it and do I get a phone call?"
"It's 8pm and you would have had one if you were awake."
Squinting one eye open, she glared at the male officer before her. "I'm awake now and I want my phone call and the reason I'm here."
"You'll get your phone call, but you'll have to wait for the judge to tell you why you're here."
She sat there for another hour before the door was opened and a female officer came in with a phone. After handing it to her, she stood leaning against the door and waited for Brody to finish her call. Dialing her grandparent's number, all she got was numerous rings and nothing else.
"My grandparents aren't home, can I make another call?"
"Make it quick." The female officer said.
"Shit, I don't know the number to Giorgio's or Levi's."
The officer came closer to her and pointed to the phone.
"You mean the restaurant in town?" She watched Brody nod her head. "Here give me the phone; I know the number by heart." She gave Brody a grin. "I order take out all the time." After dialing the number, she handed the phone back to Brody.
"Giorgio's can I help you?"
"Yes, I need to speak with Levi, is she there?"
"Who's calling?" The snobby voice asked.
"I'm a friend, listen I really need to speak with her; I was supposed to meet her at 8pm."
"CLICK!"
"I don't believe this, that asshole hung up on me!" Handing the phone back to the officer, she dropped her head into her hands. "When can I be released?"
"As soon as the judge sees you in the morning."
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Silverware was slammed down onto the tabletop, water sloshed out of the glass to soak the table clothe and Levi's chair slammed backwards to clatter to the floor.
"I can't believe she stood me up!" She stormed to the kitchen and ran right into her worst nightmare. "Get out of my way Milton!"
"Ohh come on Levi, you know you want to rub yourself all over me."
"Get a life you scumbag!" She glared at the busboy with his Elvis hairstyle, huge bobbing Adams apple and spoon chest. "I'd rather roll around in poison ivy and I'm highly allergic! NOW MOVE!"
"What is all the yelling about?" A short blonde haired woman asked from the small office.
"Ma get this asshole away from me before I flatten him!"
Mrs. Straussenhofer shooed the busboy out of the kitchen, took her angry daughter by her hand and dragged her into the office.
"What is your problem, since 8pm you've scared the hell out of customers, waiters and busboys?"
"I got stood up!" Pacing the small office, she threw her hands in the air. "I can't believe she stood me up, wait until I get home, I'll kill her!"
Green eyes rolled, a low chuckle came from Mrs. Strassenhofer.
"For crying out loud Levi, how many blind dates have you had in the last two weeks?"
Levi collapsed into the chair in front of her mother's desk, she ran her hands through her hair, and let out a curse.
"Two or three, but Brody's different. She's…not a blind date." Wiping a tear from her cheek, she offered her mother a small smile. "I really like her Ma; she's so easy to be around."
"What was that you said about killing her when you get home, are you two living together?"
"Not really, I mean, she lives in the condo behind us and her bedroom buts up against mine. Actually, we have a passage between our bedrooms."
"What?" Green eyes connected and held until Levi looked to the floor.
"It's kind of embarrassing; Brody was pounding on the wall one night and fell through into my bedroom. She thought it was the moron's room." Levi laughed when she thought of the expression on Brody's face that night. "What's weird Ma is that I met her here and didn't know she lived behind us and now I'm really worried that she didn't show up tonight."
"Call her."
Levi blushed; she looked back down at the floor and mumbled.
"Ohh Levi, you don't even have her number do you?" She threw a paperclip at her daughter. "Phone book Levi, don't be such a dimwit."
She sat in her mother's chair and listened until the Brody's phone rang 25 times. Hanging up, she called home and asked Shane to see if Brody's truck was at her condo. Tears flowed freely when she learned that her truck wasn't there. Giving up for the night, she left for home but knew that she wouldn't sleep until she heard from her friend.
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Continued In Part 2.
The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive