~ MacArthur's ~
by Larisa
Disclaimer:
Yeah, yeah we all know who they resemble. These guys are all mine. The normal stuff goes with them same gender sex, foul language, violence and everything else that I could toss in. No infringements meant with using artists songs. If you're not old enough or live some place where this is illegal. Can't help ya!
In addition, my thanks to Lesia and Ri for reading this slop before I posted it.
I'm tired, my feet and legs ache as if I just ran the Boston Marathon and not to mention I'm pissed off beyond belief! I slammed the cash register drawer closed as the customer steps out of the door of the 7-11 I slave in. I look around at the mess the place is in, coffee spilled all over the counter and dripping to form a large puddle on the floor that I will forget about and slip and bust my ass once again. The slurpee machine Has become possessed and keeps spraying all over the place causing a deep purple goo to accumulate on everything and all I can think about is that after sixteen hours in this damn place I'll have enough time to walk home take a shower just to turn around and come back for the next shift. But as usual when I'm here, nothing can be normal! With the rush of customers, I had completely forgotten about the empty coffee pots on the heating coils. Who knew that the damn things could blow up in a synchronized fashion?
I cleaned up all the broken glass shards and proceeded to blow what was the last remaining nerve in my body when I found that we had no more coffee pots to replace the six broken ones. I kicked the hell out of the counter throwing my temper tantrum over the shitty job our midnight person, who decided to quit 20 minutes before she was suppose to relieve me, for not ordering more replacements like she was suppose to. I'd had enough! I climbed up onto the counter right in front of the video camera, with the veins bulging in my neck and temple I proceeded to give my boss a little message for when she reviewed the tape in the morning.
"I've had it! I've been in this Goddamn store for sixteen fucking hours! If my relief doesn't show up I'm locking the fucking doors and throwing the key away! And you can all kiss my ass!"
The whole time I'm wagging my finger at the camera and stomping my feet like a pissed off toddler on the counter top. What do they expect when they leave one person by herself to run a busy store for sixteen hours. I then realized that the entire time I had been screaming into the camera that customers had been standing in the parking lot watching me. I gave them the meanest look I could, my green eyes flashing with fury trying to will them to run before I got down off the counter. No luck there, the assholes came in anyway and wanted to by off all the stupidest things considering they were all ready three sheets to the wind. BEER!! Three intoxicated men stumbled their way up to the counter each carrying two cases of Old Milwaukee's Best. Dropping all of it onto the counter in front of me all I could do was groan.
"Sorry, I can't sell you any alcoholic beverages."
"Hey were old enough!"
"A kindergartner could come in here and I'd tell him the same thing." I told them, which they didn't seem to care.
"Listen girl." My blood pressure just went through the roof with that comment. "Let me pay for this and we'll be outta here." He slurred and spit all over my counter.
"If you had read the sign on the vault doors you would no that I can't sell beer after 2am. Right now its 3:30am, so put it back!" By this time, my face was crimson and I was all but crawling over the counter at them.
It had turned into one hell of a shouting match, me with my great height of five foot four against three huge drunks, who could stuff me into the nearest receptacle if they so wished. I was reaching for the phone to call 911 when out of the corner of my eye I saw a red tow truck pulling up to the store. I gave a sigh of relief as I saw Brian my boyfriend of 2 years climb out of the cab. His dark hair covered by a greasy baseball cap with the name of the wrecking yard he worked for across the front, his light blue work shirt covered in mud, grease and what ever else he had managed to crawl through that night. He gave me a huge grin when he seen my bright red face, he was all too familiar with my temper, having seen it many times in this slave chamber.
"Hi honey, problems?"
"You could say that, these...what evers refuse to take my word about the beer curfew." I shoot them a glare that I recently found out only scared small children and dogs, but what the hell I thought I'd try it anyway. "Brian can you please tell them the laws of 7-11 and the state of West Virginia."
"Sure honey, no problem." He stepped up to the drunk that had been giving me the most trouble, his dark brown eyes narrowed down at him.
"Put the God damn beer back before I kick the shit out of you for harassing my girlfriend!"
They decided that tangling with someone who stood at six foot tall was not a good idea, so they put the beer back and stomped out of the store. I dropped my head down on the counter and proceeded to bang it a few times out of aggravation.
"Why are you still here Keila? Shouldn't what's her name be working?"
My head was still down on the counter when I answered him with mumbles. "Bleach blonde bitch from bimboland quit!" Say that a couple times and see if you're not nuts! Which makes me wonder about my mental condition since I'm the one who made it up.
He ran his hand over the back of my head smoothing down my short blonde hair trying to comfort me, what he almost accomplished was putting me to sleep and making me feel like his damn blue tick hound.
"I thought you were done at 8pm?"
"I was but they needed four wreckers out on Rt. 9, so I thought I'd stop in and grab a Coke and a beef stick for Grumpy."
I just love how he thinks of his damn dog before me, the last time he bought me something it was a bottle of flea soap so I could give the damn thing a bath on my single day off.
"Are you going home after you leave here?"
"Yeah, I have tomorrow off and me and the boys are going to the drag strip to watch the motorcycles race."
I looked at him with a look of indifference with my bloodshot eyes. "Could you throw a load of laundry in the washer and I'll finish it when I get home?"
"Sure, anything for you." He kissed the top of my head, grabbed MY bottle of Coke and a beef stick and left.
"Maybe you could pay my store bill since all the stuff on it's either for you or your damn dog!" I said to his taillights as they left the parking lot. I had no idea why I even bothered to ask him to do anything, I knew as soon as he got home he'd forget what I asked him to do. Men are basically tall children that need to be lead through life by the hand. I sat down on the floor and waited for the time to tick slowly away, I knew that the mad rush was over for the next 45 minutes or so.
I looked down at my Marvin the Martian watch and saw that it was time for my relief clerk to show up, I put the mop and bucket in the back room and was just coming through the door when I saw her red hair bounce into the office. I had my smock off and rolled in a ball before I reached the same door.
"Thank Gods your here Brenda! Before you do anything call one of the other stores and see if you can borrow some coffee pots." She went to say something but I held up my hand to stop her. "Don't ask! I'm going home and unless the damn place either blows up or catches fire you have forgotten my phone number and where I live."
"Oohh one of those nights, what are you doing here anyway?" Her green eyes questioned me. "Please don't tell me what's her name quit!"
"Ok, I won't." I scrubbed my face with my equally tired hands. "What was her name anyway?"
"Got me? From what I heard all the guys called her SUCK HARDER!!" She wiggled red eyebrows at me and all I could do was groan. "I'm outta here!"
I walked the 200foot to the small house that Brian and I lived in, before I got the door open, I knew that the place looked like a tornado went through it. The empty beer cans sitting on the front windowsill were kind of a dead giveaway. I pushed the door open with my foot because I had covered my eyes with my hands hoping that when I uncovered them that the place wouldn't be half as bad if I peeked through my fingers. I was dead wrong! An assortment of beer cans and bottles littered every surface in the entire place, they had managed to build a beer can sculpture in the middle of the small living room floor and it looked kinda like a leaning hour glass. They were talented that was for sure, I could imagine if they had gone to college and had four years of beer bashes what they could do.
I stepped over all the trash that was sprawled through the living room and refusing to touch Brian's disgusting work clothes that he had dropped all the way to the bathroom, I went into take a hot shower. Or so I thought!
"Son of a bitch! I'll kill him, I swear I'll kill all of them!" I looked down into a bathtub full of ice, water and beer. There was no way I was going to stand in ice water to take a shower. So I pulled the plug and hopefully in the whooping three hours of sleep that I was going to get the ice would be gone. I went to our bedroom and held back the scream I was so tempted to let go.
"Get your hairy God damn ass off the bed!" Grumpy lay spread out on my side of the bed, his greasy paw prints all over the cream-colored comforter and MY pillow. His big stupid head with all it's wrinkles lifted from where it rested on my pillow, one brown eye looked at me before it closed, a soft snorting noise came from him as he went back to sleep. I did the only thing I could do, I striped out of my clothes and lay down on Brains side of the bed, just as I was ready to fall asleep I felt four huge paws press into the back of me as Grumpy tried to push me off the edge of the bed.
"Does the word DOG POUND! Mean anything to you?" He gave me a woofing noise and rolled onto his back.
I woke up to warm moist breath washing across my chest, cracking one blurry eye I looked down to see Grumpy's head resting nice and comfortable on me. It wouldn't have bothered to me much but the dog had drooled all over me. "You're just as bad as Brian! Get up!" I tried pushing his limp body off me but all I managed to do was push myself out of the bed, so know I'm sitting on the floor looking at a huge pile of Brian's dirty filthy work clothes.
"What did I do to deserve this bullshit?" I asked anyone who would at least laugh at the way I had been living for the last year. Had I known that I would have to pick up after Brian and all his friends, I would have become a nun! At least the sex would be better or so I have been lead to believe from all the girls I know that went to Catholic schools. I pulled on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, holding my breath and trying not to cringe I gathered up all his clothes and made my way to the laundry room. Dropping them with the rest of what I could only think of were the boys clothes, because they weren't mine, I opened the washer up and let out a string of cuss words that any sailor would be proud of.
"STUPIDGODDAMNLAZYFUCKINGSONOFABITCHINDICKLESSWONDER!!!" When I had to take a breath I started pulling out what had been at one time in the past white clothes, which now had the faint hue of green! Brian the boy wonder had just tossed any old thing into the washer and set the temperature on hot, which would have been all well and good if the dumbass had not mixed the colors and whites, soap would have helped a lot to. I could smell the stench of sweat and grease coming from the wet clothes.
I wondered how many years in prison I would get for killing him and all his friends? I felt like a den mother or one of those women that takes care of the dorm mother .
I had just sat down at the small cluttered kitchen table and tried to drink a cup of black coffee, it seems that all the milk was gone along with the sugar. In fact, the whole damn refrigerator was a barren wasteland, the cup I had for my coffee I had to wash because all the dishes were dirty. Made me wonder why I even left the store, I could at least sleep on the clean floor of the back room and have a decent cup of coffee when I woke up. And to think that I had been pulling between sixteen and twenty hour shifts for the past two weeks to be able to buy us nice stuff and then to come home to the city dump.
Looking at the clock, I saw that I had 20 minutes to get ready to head back to work for another day of hell. When I went into the bedroom if it had been possible to raise my blood pressure any higher with out having a stroke, I think this was it. Grumpy lay on the bed with one of my new white T-shirts clutched between his paws and teeth and was having one hell of a fun time of shredding it. I ignored him and started to get dressed, I would deal with his owner later. No sooner had I pulled my shoes on then Grumpy went running from the room, his baying could wake the dead and that meant that Brian was home. I walked out into the living room to find Brian kissing all over the filthy dog. I stood in front of him with my hands planted firmly on my hips and glared at both of them.
"Hi honey, going to work?" He continued to rough house with Grumpy, it finally hit him from my silence that there was something wrong. He stood up and at that, very second I slammed my fist with my shredded T-shirt clenched in it right into his stomach.
"You owe me a new shirt!"
Brian shook out the shirt and saw all the tears in it, a big grin came over his face when he looked down at Grumpy.
"Was my baby boy playing?"
That was the last straw! I spun on my heel and gave the beer can sculpture a roundhouse kick, cans flew across the room in every direction. My temper was flaring, I was ready to tear the whole house apart and Brian knew it. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me into his bony chest.
"What's wrong?"
I stiffened in his arms, not only from my anger but because the rank smell of stale sweat and beer was making me nauseous. I pulled away from him and swung my arms out to the sides looking like a demented Vanna White.
"Look at this fucking pigsty! I refuse to clean this place, when I get home I want it to be spotless!" I jabbed a finger into his chest just about breaking it against his bony breastbone. "You and your boys can clean it up and don't tell me they're not here!" I stepped closer to him, leaning my head back I gave him a narrowed eyed look. "I know they're hiding in the back yard waiting for me to leave."
"But Honey, we're going fishing down at the river." He gave me a puppy dog look.
"If this place is not clean when I get home, I'm going to the nearest MOTEL!!!!" I spun on my heel and slammed out of the house and just because I'm a bitch, I went around the back and scared the hell out of the boys creeping through the back door.
"CLEAN UP YOUR DAMN MESS!!!" "Six grown men fell all over each other trying to either get in the house or out. They knew that I meant business, or it could have been the beer bottle that I held in my hand like a blunt weapon.
I had just crossed the road by the Middle School in Bolivar, 7-11 was only 20 foot away. For the past five years I had walked to work and I never paid much attention to the small building on the left side of the store that was separated by the road that ran back to the wrecking yard that Brian worked for. What caught my attention were workmen hauling materials in through the back door. For as long as I could remember the place was empty, obviously someone was going to fix it up and more than likely turn it into another phony antique furniture store. Like the Bolivar and Harpers Ferry area didn't already have enough of them. But people from Virginia and Maryland came to this tourist trap and bought the stuff thinking that they were getting a good deal on something that had never ever seen the 1990's let alone the civil war era. If they paid attention they would see the new pine furniture sitting out in the elements behind all the stores that advertised antiques for sale.
"Dumbasses will never learn, I know I could sell them my underwear as being worn by George Washington and they'd believe it!" I mumbled to myself as I ran across the road.
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I stood in the driveway after work and looked through the front window at the boys and Brian. I couldn't see any beer cans like before but I had this awful feeling that things weren't as they seemed. Going through the door I almost fell face first into the dirty foot stained carpet. Their way of solving the can collection was to put a fifty-five gallon drum near the door. What really got me was the mini basketball board that was attached to it, I knew right away what they were doing as a can came whizzing past my head, hit the backboard and landed into the drum. Jumping out of the way I spun towards the opposite wall to see one of the boys sitting in my favorite chair with a five-gallon bucket at his feet. All I could think of the use for it was to rolf in, that was until he whipped out his dick and started pissing in it!
I covered my eyes and stumbled towards our bedroom, I didn't know how much more of this I could take. Once again the floor had filthy clothes pilled up and the room reeked. I opened the window and a glimmering caught my eye from the backyard, sliding up the screen I put my head outside and almost screamed bloody murder. I had found where they had thrown all the beer cans and bottles, a huge pile was built up in the center of the yard.
I knew what I had to do, I grabbed my Louisville slugger from the closet and went to the kitchen and got the box of leaf bags. Taking a place alongside of the TV, I dropped the bags and swung with all of my strength at the TV. It took the loud explosion and sparks for them to realize that I had even walked in front of every single one of them.
"Keila what in the hell did you do that for?" Brian yelled. Mistake one, never yell at me, stupid as they are, they made mistake number two by calling me a stupid bitch. I maybe a bitch but stupid I am not. Brian came towards me and met the end of my bat.
"I want every single one of you to get your asses out in the back yard and pick up those beer cans and bottles!" I lifted the bat up and took a practice swing. "Who's knee caps wanna come off?" They figured their knee caps were more important than picking up beer cans, Brian took the bags and they all went out the back door. I could hear them calling me every name in the book and I really didn't care. Minutes later I could hear the noise made from moving beer cans. I went into the bathroom, taking a shower when I heard the sound of tires peeling out of the drive.
"Good go sulk at someone else's house!"
I had the first peaceful sleep in more days than I can count. That was until the wee hours of the morning when I heard Brian come into the bedroom. I heard his boots hit the floor then the rustling of his clothes, I was not prepared for him pouncing on me. I knew what he wanted so I didn't fight, it would last all of three minutes anyway.
He was pumping into me with his head tucked near my ear, I knew he was done as soon as he belched in my ear. He rolled off of me and went to sleep and as par normal I got up went into the bathroom and used the strongest feminine products they sold, that is after I threw up. I'm no authority on sex but I don't think this is normal behavior.
Maybe it was Brian but most likely it was I who had the problem, I just didn't enjoy it and my stomach rebelled whenever I thought about sex. Just him sweating all over me grossed me out, along with his other bodily functions that he thought were just hilarious.
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A week has gone by and the house was clean for all of two days before it went back to happy hours at Brian and Keila's. I didn't know what else to do, I was thinking of just changing the locks on the place and kicking them all the hell out but I couldn't because the house belonged to Brian. I know sat out front on the window ledge of the store-watching people go into the building next door that they had opened at the beginning of the week. It was called MacArthur's Pub and from the looks it was very popular. I had fifteen minutes left on my shift, I couldn't wait to go home shower and crawl into bed. That went out the window when I saw Brian coming towards me from the new Pub, a smile a mile wide was on his face and I knew right then that I was in trouble.
"Hey Honey, you wanna try supper at the new place?"
"I had numerous thoughts before I accepted his offer, I mean really! I've been surviving off 7-11 food and it was getting pretty gross by now. I clocked out and took his hand to walk across the road to the Pub, it was not what I was expecting at all. The place was very nice inside and very Irish, Celtic music played softly in the background and the employees all wore Kelly green shirts with a four leaf clover over the left breast.
I had the 12 deep fried shrimp with plank fries and a Coke, or I should say I had two shrimp a couple of fries and two whole mouthfuls of Coke. Brian had called the boys and they helped eat my supper, I was to the point of leaving when I saw a blond head come bouncing through the crowd of assholes at our table.
Brenda grabbed me by my hand and pulled me to the side.
"Can't he go anywhere with out them assholes?"
"No, I'm waiting for all of them to move in and sleep with us!" We moved into a far corner to try and talk in private and to be able to hear each other without having to yell over the assholes big mouths. When we had almost made it Brenda ran right into the back of me nearly knocking me over a table.
"Mother fucker! I'll cut your hands off!" She yelled at a shocked man.
"What was that all about?" I asked her as we took chairs and placed them against the wall.
"Fucker grabbed my ass! And my mother asked me why I'd rather have a relationship with a woman than that!" She pointed to a scuzzy old man. "OOHHH MY GODS!!!" She yelled directly in my now deaf ear. "I'm in LUST!" I was about to get her a bib for her instant drooling bout.
"What?"
"Her! Look at her ass, wouldn't you just love to..." She gave me a shake of her blond curls. "Well, maybe not you but I would love to run my hands all over her!" I followed her eyes to where a very tall woman with long jet-black hair was serving Brian and the boys. Brian did something I never thought he would do, he grabbed her ass! I wonder if he would have done that if I had still been there? Come to think of it I really didn't care, maybe he would dump me and I'd be free. Seeing him continue to grab her made me think of what I just said to myself, did I want to be free? OHH YEAH! I jumped when Brenda put the squeeze on my leg, I thought she was going to drop over on me when the woman came to ask for our order. I reached over and pushed Brenda's mouth closed, she was drooling all down her chin and couldn't get a word out to save her life. I looked over when an order pad came into my direct vision, on it was wrote "order please" I glanced up quickly then did a double take that left me staring into the bluest eyes I had ever saw. My mouth went dry, my heart stopped and now both Brenda and I looked like huge goldfish gasping for air. My eyes traveled from her eyes down to high cheekbones and all the way to where they lingered on her breasts before taking in the rest of her.
I felt Brenda smack me in my head, when I looked back up into those beautiful eyes I saw her mouth the words "Order Please" She then tapped her lips with two fingers, I knew why she had wrote on the pad, she couldn't speak. I took the pen from her hand and wrote that we wanted two bud lights, when I handed the pen back I could swear that I felt a shock go through my body when our fingers touched. A lopsided grin came to her lips before she walked away.
"Keila, where did she come from and are there any more!?!"
"Ahhh...huh?" I am such a literary genius. I lost all thought process as I watched her skin tight Levi's hug her ass.
"Mars to Keila! Hey are you ok?"
I turned to her with my mouth still hanging open, it was her turn to slam my jaw up. I heard the bartender yell the name Conor and the tall woman turned to him and nodded her head.
"Conor."
Brenda gave me a raised eyebrow look. "What?" She asked after her brows dropped down to gather over her nose.
"Her names Conor." She shook her head when she saw the stupid grin on my face.
"If I didn't know any better I swear you just jumped over on to my side of the fence."
It hit me as to what Brenda just said, I couldn't believe that I had just acted like a complete moron and over a woman! But it got worse when she brought our beers over and bent down between us to put them on the table. I accidentally on purpose turned my head towards her and looked right down the front of her green polo shirt. When she left I smacked myself in the forehead for my crude male like behavior.
"I think I'm gonna head home, it's been a very long day." Rubbing my eyes I stood up after finishing my beer, I couldn't help but scan the area for one last look at Conor.
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That night I dreamed of pale blue eyes smiling down on me only to be interrupted by Brian and his flipping around in our bed. I wanted so badly to haul off and kick the shit out of him. I tried to go back to sleep and would have accomplished it had Brian not flopped his greasy hand on my chest. Looking down I saw all the filth beneath his fingernails and became so repulsed that I got up and went into the kitchen.
Getting the coffee pot ready I could hear the pig belching.
"How the hell can someone dead to the world belch?" I sat there and tried to write down all the reasons I was with Brian and all the reasons I should run for another country like Sweden and become a sheepherder or something. So far on the side that said to stay all I had was "House" On the side that said "RUN LIKE HELL!" I had listed, he's a pig, the boys, Grumpy, reeks, lack of hygiene, sex sucks, he's gross and disgusting and I didn't need to write any thing more down. For one reason I was making myself sick just thinking of all the repulsive things about Brian.
There was only one problem, I didn't have any place to go. My sister had a house full of kids and my parents drove me nuts with trying to get me to marry Brian. I can see myself married to him and ending up on Jerry Spring of Jenny Jones for the white trash special about "My Husband is allergic to soap and water!" I heard Grumpy come padding down the hallway into the kitchen, he gave me a disgusted look then plopped down at my feet.
"What's the matter Grumps did he run you out of the room with his rank body?" He gave me a snorting noise then I heard his big head hit the floor with a thump. "Believe me I know what you mean, maybe we can throw him in the river and...nope, he'll cause an ecological catastrophe and then the green peace people will put us in jail."
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I was bent over at the waist trying to find bags to put in the holders by the registers when I felt the hair raise on the back of my neck. I jerked my head up so fast that I hit the back of my head underneath the counter. I heard the boy's tabernacle choir, Pavarotti and Shania Twain all at once and the fourth of July fireworks on the Potomac dancing before my eyes.
"Mother FUCK that hurt!" I came up slower this time rubbing my aching head. I looked around the store but didn't see anyone, the feeling was still there though. I went back to trying to find the bags when I heard something placed on the counter, I came up saw pale blue eyes looking down at me and the next thing I knew I was slipping on the bags that fell out of my hand and landing on my ass.
"Aahh man! I really need a vacation." Conor came around the corner of the counter and offered me her hand. I now know what it feels like to grab onto an electric cattle fence! One touch of her hand just about killed me. "Thanks...I'm such a klutz." I could feel my face turning all kinds of horrific reds. "Can I help you?" Conor pointed to the cup of coffee and package of animal crackers, she handed me a five-dollar bill and all I could do was stare at it.
"No, it's on me." She gave me a look with a raised dark eyebrow and tried to put the money in my hand.
"Honest, it's on me. I ahh...saw what my boyfriend did to you at the pub the other night. I'm sorry, he's such an asshole at times." Giving her a small smile I closed her fingers over her money. She nodded her head and gave me a smile then left me standing there praying that my heart would start back up on it's own and I wouldn't have to use jumper cables.
"What was that all about?"
"Ohh uhm, I bought her a cup of coffee." My voice seemed to climb a few octaves when Brenda snuck up and caught me watching Conor walk across the parking lot.
"I still think you fell over the fence or...you've been hiding in the closet for so long you don't know how to get out."
"Pulease!" I gave her a chuckle that didn't sound at all convincing to me. "I'm not in any kind of closet." Well, I don't consider what I did in high school as being gay, it was just experimentation. Right, just keep on telling yourself that Keila and maybe one day you'll actually believe it!
The rest of my time at work I kept looking out the door to see if Conor was within range of my limited vision. I knew that I would definitely have some very heavy thinking to do. I was confused as hell, wondering if the way I lived had anything to do about it. I also wondered if Brenda could keep her mouth shut if I talked to her about it. I can hear her now yelling about what kind of toaster oven she wanted. A goofy grin covered my face and I was humming to myself. Why? I haven't the foggiest idea! Brenda came out from the vault looking a little blue around the lips from the cold, she gave me a funny grin before she went into the office. I heard her chuckling and knew that she was watching the monitor on the desk, she could see me perfectly from the camera above me.
I just couldn't help myself, I just had to stick my tongue out at her and wiggle it in a very dykish way.
"Oohh baby! Come back here and do that!"
"You wish you were that lucky!"
"Wanna go for a late lunch over at the pub?"
That took me all of two seconds to say yes.
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Brenda and I were sitting at one of the tables waiting for Conor to take our order, I heard a very familiar laugh and felt my guts tighten. I looked over and saw Brian and the boys across the room slamming beers, and what really pissed me off was Brian groping Conor. My temper flared and I know that my ears were bright red.
"Keila what's wrong?"
"Asshole is over there grabbing Conor again! I'm gonna kill him when he gets home!" I had to ask myself if it was because I was jealous of him doing the grabbing or that I couldn't?
"Go over and knock the hell outta him."
"Ohh I plan on it as soon as I get some food in my stomach."
"I should have known that, nothing comes between you and food!"
I felt the tingles run up my neck and knew that Conor was close by, looking over my shoulder I got a face full of green shirt. Pulling back I looked up into smiling blue eyes and felt the heat run up my neck to my hairline. Brenda gave me a sharp jab in the ribs and a smack in the head bringing me back to earth and making me close my open mouth. Conor pointed to the menus before us. Since I was at a loss of the English language Brenda ordered for us. I turned my head to see her holding back hysterical laughter.
"Shut up!"
"Ahh come on I think it's funny! I wish I had a camera so you could see the doe eyed look on your face."
"Did not have one of those!"
"Did to!" She tilted her head to the side and gave me a wink. "So tell me Keila, what kind of cologne does she wear?"
"Drakar." Big kick in the ass for me!
"I thought you didn't pay attention to women?"
"How could I not? My Gods my face was right between her...never mind." I slunk down in my chair and covered my beet red face. "Brenda, is this normal? I mean I'm with Brian and all I can think of is..."
"The pair of pale blue eyes that are looking right at you?"
"What?"
"Don't look know but she's coming this way, 'cuz if you do your gonna have a lap full of food."
Conor put our plates before us along with fresh glasses of Coke, it was very hard for me to eat my food, answer Brenda and keep an eye on Conor.
"Is your gaydar working Brenda?"
"Always, why?"
"Is she?"
"Oohh boy!" She exclaimed loudly. "Open your eyes dipshit."
"Brenda, I don't have gaydar because I'm not gay."
"Been there, said it, and ignored it. Why is this so important to you?"
"I don't know, maybe if she is and Brian finds out then he'll stop grabbing her ass?"
Brenda gave me rolling eyes. "Good excuse there Keila, now tell me another one."
I just about came out of my shoes when I felt a large hand touch my shoulder, Conor placed the cheque in front of us before she mouthed a thank you and went back to serving the rest of the small crowd.
"That was interesting?"
"Oh like how, she only gave us the cheque?"
"And leaned over you after she touched your shoulder! I feel left out, after all I'm the dyke here and your not. But the most beautiful woman around besides myself is touching miss straight and narrow you!"
"Ohh please, it was an innocent gesture."
"Yeah, well maybe so but that isn't!" Brenda pointed to Brian who had pulled Conor down on to his lap, every time she tried to get up he grabbed her arm harder.
"Son of a bitch!"
Brian had just made a very big mistake, about 120lbs worth Brenda watched as Keila walked over grabbed him by his ears and made him let go of Conor. When his mouth started to run off at her she slugged him in the jaw, his next mistake was hitting her back. Conor grabbed him by his throat with one hand, lifted him up out of his chair and carried him out of the pub that way, leaving the entire place deathly quiet. Brenda came running over to a shocked Keila who was wiping the blood from her lip and chin.
"I can't believe he did that!"
"Neither can I, or the fact that he called me a cunt either."
"Ohh is that why you slugged the hell out of him."
"Yep, shit I'm going to look like hell for work in the morning." I could feel my lip and jaw starting to swell, I grabbed Brian's beer from the table of still stunned men and put it against where he hit me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to find Conor standing there with a concerned look on her face. She took the bottle from me, with a critical eye she checked my rapidly swelling jaw. She took my hand and started pulling me towards the back door of the pub, a worried Brenda followed us out the door and into the small house that was behind it. I assumed that she lived here or at least knew who did. Taking me into the small kitchen she pulled out a chair and sat me down then motioned for Brenda to do the same. I watched her grab a plastic bag from a cabinet and then fill it with crushed ice from the refrigerator dispenser. Wrapping it in a dishtowel she placed it on the discolored area and then put my hand up to hold it. I kept trading glances with a grinning Brenda, I was ready to kick her under the table if she didn't knock it off.
"By the way I'm Keila Johanson and this is Brenda Wilkes."
Conor wrote us a note telling us she was Conor MacArthur.
She started a pot of coffee and gave us a hand signal to stay and that she would be back in a minute. The second she was gone Brenda started to poke me in my ribs.
"Ya think if I go back in there and get hit she'll baby me?"
"She's not babying me so just stop all ready."
"Yeah, right tell me something I haven't witnessed with my very own eyes!"
Brenda shut up when we heard what could only be Conor's foot falls coming back in, she handed me a bottle of Advil's and a glass of water to wash them down with. When I was done she pulled the ice away and motioned for me to move my jaw.
"It's ok, just sore. Thank you for doing what you did, I don't know what's wrong with him anymore."
"He's got a dick?" Brenda tossed in.
"And is one!" I added. Conor smiled and shook her head making her long black hair swirl around her broad shoulders.
"Your right." She mouthed to us.
"Brenda, I can't go home until he cools off."
"You can come..."
"No. Thanks but that's the first place he'll look and I know your roommates wouldn't appreciate it if some raving lunatic came pounding on the door in the middle of the night. I'll just get a room at the Quality Inn down the road."
"That will be the next place he looks! What about...hell!"
"Exactly! What am I going to do?" I dropped my head down onto the table and winced when I hit my lip. Conor put coffee in front of us along with cream and sugar. When she was done I asked her if she would be in trouble for not being in the bar. She nodded her head and smiled at us, I thought I was going to fall out of my chair when she did that. She pointed to both of us and motioned for us to follow her.
She stopped at the end of a hallway and walked into a small room with a bed and dresser in it. Pulling a pad of paper from her back pocket she wrote a note that said "I was more than welcome to use the room as long as I needed it."
"I can't inconvenience you like this, besides I'm a total stranger."
"You'll be safe here." She gave me a pleading look.
"Gods this is hard." I jumped when Brenda grabbed my ass.
"Think about it dummy, will he look for you here?"
"But Brenda?"
"She'll stay and thank you for everything Conor."
I looked between the two of them and shook my head. "Brenda one of these days I'm gonna throw you off a bridge somewhere."
"Then it's settled." Conor showed me the note along with a beautiful smile that sent a warm feeling through my body. We followed Conor back out to the kitchen where we sat for a while and communicated with Conor passing us notes.
"I feel like I'm back in school and the teacher is gonna take the note and read it to the whole class again." Brenda snickered and gave me a wicked grin.
"You got caught? How dumb is that?"
"Well, at the time it seemed like a good idea, until I was thrown right outta my little closet in front of the whole math class!" Her eyes twinkled at us. "It got better, 'cuz then the principal called my parents and had them come down and get me. Not the way I expected to have them find out!"
We watched as Conor scribbled a note to us, she slid it across the table when she was finished.
"Try getting caught naked with your girlfriend in the barn loft by your father." My eyes grew wide after I read it, not only from the conformation but because Brenda stepped on my toes.
"That beat you Brenda!"
"Ok Keila, we spilled so what about you?"
I didn't even think about what I was going to say before it fell right out of my big mouth. "Never got caught." I looked at both of them, closed my eyes and groaned. "Ok Brenda before you say a word, yes I did experiment a little."
"And how much is a little miss straight thing?"
"Uuhhmm shit, heavy petting ok? Ya happy now?"
"And it made you hotter than Brian ever has!"
"Brenda, Grumpy can do that!"
Conor asked me who Grumpy was and all I could do was turn bright red.
"A big old dog." Brenda answered for me. "She's kinky, ya know whips and shit."
"I am not!"
"Look who's talking, you have a strap-on collection!"
"Only seven, ya know one for each day of the week. Gotta be prepared."
"Speaking of prepared." I looked down at my blood stained shirt and dirty black work pants. "I'll have to sneak into the house and get some clothes." I wiggled my eyebrows at Brenda. "Wanna play recon with me?"
"Are you nuts!?! He may at the house right now!"
"I could sneak into the bedroom window?"
Conor watched us with a raised eyebrow, scribbling a note she wrote. "Wait until later, I'll go with you two."
"Conor you don't have to do this."
She held up her hand, made a fist and slammed it into the palm of her hand as she mouth "Brian."
"Face it Keila." Brenda ruffled my hair. "You can't win."
Brenda and I sat in Conor's kitchen while she went back to work, we planed on going over to my house as soon as Conor was done. The time seemed to drag and pass by quickly all at the same time. We jumped when Conor appeared in the kitchen wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and jingling car keys.
"Guess this is it then, time to kick some ass if need be." I groaned the last part, I did not even want to touch Brian any more than I had to.
@@@@@@@@@
Conor pulled her old Chevy truck on the street behind the house that I use to live in with the biggest asshole ever known to me. We crept past the neighbor's side door hoping that they didn't notice two women tripping over each other and the tallest one trying to keep us from hitting the ground in a heap. Brenda had her hand over her mouth to stop the giggling fit that she wanted to have, Gods only knows what was going through her head and if he was smart he'd run while he had the chance because the little dyke had one hell of a vindictive mind.
We got to the bedroom window without being caught, I didn't worry about Grumpy because he was to dumb to notice if the place was being ransacked by burglars. I slid the window up and with my great height being that it is I couldn't get my leg over the windowsill to get in. Conor picked me up by my waist and put me through the window, once in all I could do was look at her with amazement. I almost lost my composure when Brenda started feeling Conor's biceps then looked at what she was most definitely lacking in her own physique. Brenda reached out towards Conor with an index finger and poked her in her upper chest, the look on her surprised face was priceless. I was waiting to see if she was going to do the T-paper squeeze test, the minute I saw both of her hands come up in those claw like forms I grabbed the first thing I could find and hit her with it.
I didn't wait to see what happened after my impromptu attack on her I started throwing all my clothes that I could find out the window along with what else was mine. I figured I had enough and went back out to pick them up, Conor had an arm full and Brenda was staggering around the back yard holding her head. I got worried that maybe I had hurt her, I was about to grab her when I saw the glimmering of beer cans right in front of her, my mouth dropped open but nothing came out. Conor seen the panicked look on my face then looked to see Brenda take one more step and fall right into the huge pile of beer cans that the asshole as I will refer to Brian from this day forward and the boys had not picked up like I assumed. That word has become my worst nightmare, it always works against me!
The loud crash and curses coming form Brenda could have woke up people three counties over. Conor and I moved at the same time, flinging my clothes to the side we ran and dove onto Brenda and the three of us rolled to the other side of the pile. Brenda started to yell but her voice was being muffled by something, I assu...hoped that it was Conor's hand and not a beer can wedged in her mouth. Then again what I've seen her do with her tongue and a long neck beer bottle I knew I had no worries. We stayed still when Grumpy started baying and the outside lights flipped on.
"Fucking cats must be chasing the rats again." The asshole said to Grumpy right before he flipped the lights off.
When I had the guts to open my eyes I saw a pair of pale blue eyes looking down at me from about an inch away. What I wouldn't give to be able to move up that inch! Did I just say that? Anyway, Conor jerked her arm and almost crushed me! I looked to see Brenda's white teeth flashing in the night then her tongue wiggling, Conor wiped her hand on Brenda's chest and grimaced. I then knew that my wicked little friend had been being very bad, that's ok paybacks were a bitch and when she found out what had caused her to stumble around like an idiot I know there would be an all out war.
We grabbed up my clothes and ran like hell back to Conor's truck, Brenda pushed me in first then slammed the door after her. When she got a good look of herself in the side view mirror her face went completely white, all Conor and I could do was snicker.
"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Brenda's face was turning some pretty strange colors. "Your a dead woman Keila!" She flung a pair of Brian's dirty jockey shorts out the window of Conor's truck. "Now I gotta shave my head!" She whined after she smacked the hell out of my shoulder.
"Sorry Brenda, but you have to admit it's kinda funny." I gave her a great big wicked grin. I could hear Conor snorting out her nose, out of the side of my eye I saw her grab her throat and a look of extreme pain flashed across her face.
"Are you all right?" Putting my hand on her forearm she turned to look at me I saw the tears in her eyes, I wiped them from her cheeks and gave her a small smile.
Hauling all my clothes into the house I was pissed when I noticed that allot of them had holes and cuts in them.
"That son of a bitch! Look what he did to my clothes?" I held up my concert shirt from when I had seen Terry Clark. Half of the bottom was torn off. Conor took it from my shaking hand and showed on her own body a half shirt. I nodded my head and before I knew it she had pulled out a knife and cut the rest of the bottom away.
"Looks like I'm going to be sewing a lot in the next couple of days."
"You can sew?" Brenda asked me.
"Of course I can, I just have to make sure I have a good supply of Band-Aids." I grinned at her shaking head.
"Still say your in a closet."
@@@@@@@@@@
I was dreading what I had to do next, it was inevitable that Brian would contact my family, and tell them all kinds of lies to make me look bad. For some asinine reason they thought Brian was the greatest thing in the world and that if I didn't take the chance given to me to marry him I'd be an old spinster. Shows they thought I was some kind of useless female.
I asked Conor if I could use her phone and she gave me this exasperated look like "You live here, why are you asking?" I just felt that I should ask permission, after all I had just walked in that day and everything was still kinda of surreal for me. I took the cordless and went into the small living room and sat down on the comfortable couch that sat in front of a large screen TV. I grinned evilly thinking that I was going to be able to watch this huge TV and Brian didn't even have one now.
I waited for the phone to be picked up, and as the usual the first words out of my mother mouth was "When's the wedding?"
"Mother, I am not marrying that asshole! I told you before how many times?"
"I don't know why not, he's such a nice man and he has a good job and provides for you."
My temper was getting ready to skyrocket. "If he's such a catch YOU marry him!"
"Don't be ridiculous Keila..."
"He punched me tonight in front of a whole group of his friends and strangers. Do you really think I'd stay with him after that?"
"I can't see him doing that, you must have done something to provoke it."
"Ooohh nooo, don't put this on me! I caught him molesting one of the pubs employees and when I stopped it he called me a fucking cunt!"
I could see my mother now with her jaw hanging on the floor, she thought it was a sin of God to swear.
"Watch your mouth young lady, I didn't raise you to speak like that."
"And I wasn't raised to be called that and all the other names that he calls me. I left him tonight and I'm not going back!"
"I think your making a big mistake, where are you going to live? You can't live on your own."
"My mistake was going out with him at all and I'm quite old enough to live on my own. I'm not a child, I'm 28 years old."
Brenda and Conor stood in the kitchen, they couldn't help but over hear the one sided conversation. Conor raised her left eyebrow at Brenda.
"Her mother is a real idiot, she thinks we're still back in the dark ages and women can't survive with out an asshole man."
Conor mouthed one word. "Ignorant."
"Mother I'm not going back so just forget about it and I'm not telling you where I'm staying."
"But Keila, how an I suppose to get hold of you?"
"It's been how many months since you called me? I'm hanging up now, bye."
I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes, I knew she was going to give me that line of bullshit. To hell with her and Brian.
@@@@@
A week had gone by with me waking up 5 minutes before I was suppose to be at work, jumping in the shower and running out the door with my shoe laces dragging across the ground. One of these days I know I'd end up kissing asphalt. Brenda had threatened to buy me those shoes with Velcro on them, that was enough to make me cringe. I already looked like a geek with my clothes all sewn up and grandma shoes would really have me in the top 10 list of people you should avoid.
During the day I saw Conor maybe 30 minutes and that was when she stumbled in exhausted from the pub, her once brilliant blue eyes showed lack of sleep and the dark circles below were getting darker by the day. I knew what I was going to do as soon as I got off work. I was going to spy on her and see if there was any way that I could help. That is when all the idiots that spend their hard-earned money left with their handful of lottery tickets.
I hadn't been in the pub since the night that Brian had hit me, I didn't want to see him or the boys. I wanted a clean break and staying away was the only thing that I could do to keep it that way. I found the back door to the kitchen, when I walked in I saw a small woman with black hair with streaks of silver running through it flipping burgers on the grill.
"Just don't stand there Keila, grab those buns on the counter for me."
I was shocked to say the least, I had no idea who she was but obviously she knew me.
"How do you know who I am?" I walked up beside her with the buns in my hand. When she turned her head I knew instantly who she was, her pale blue eyes surrounded by dark lashes smiled up at me.
"Ohh because your all my baby talks about. I'm Katy Conor's Momma." Her grin was mischievous and contagious.
"Why would she be talking about me, I never see her except for when she comes dragging in at night. Which is the reason I'm here." I looked down at my feet and found that my shoestrings were the most horrid shade of gray. "Is she the only waitress?" I asked in a whisper.
"Yep, for now anyway. She's put an add in the paper and so far no ones contacted her about the job."
"But why not?" I was shocked that no one had called.
"It seems that word has gotten around about how the men act around here."
"That's another thing that I wanted to ask her about, why she lets those assholes grab her all the time."
"She found out in our other pubs if she smacked the hell outta them." She turned to look at me with a troubled look. "It just caused more problems."
I could see that there was something hiding behind what she said, I'm not the type of person to let things go unsaid.
"What's the real reason? Conor isn't the type to let men get away with anything, she proved that when she threw Brian out by his neck."
"You never heard this from me." She pointed a finger at my chest.
"Nope, didn't hear a thing. Now what is it?"
"One night in one of the other pubs, a guy grabbed her breast." Katy put the last of the burgers on the tray then slid it through the window to a long fingered hand that I knew belonged to Conor. She waited until she knew Conor was out of earshot. "She lost her temper and beat him until he was unconscious, when the police came they cuffed her and dragged her away. She had to spend the night in jail and then go through all the bullshit with the court systems." Katy leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. "She was convicted for assault and battery and is on probation for the next year."
I was floored, I didn't know what to say but it explained a lot. "Why not hire a bouncer for the place, that way she wouldn't be put in the position of having to put up with all the assholes grabbing her?"
"Hopefully by the end of the week her Enforcer will be here and all the grabbing and pawing will be over with. I know that's why she's so tired, she keeps running around out there to avoid their hands." She gave me a grin that was so much like Conor's. She pointed to the small window and I look out into the pub and watched Conor fly from one table to the next. One table in particular she tried to reach as far as her long arms could to put the pitchers of beer on it, I didn't have to see the men to know who was sitting there. I heard Brian's ignorant laugh as Conor shot backwards from pawing hands. My temper flared red-hot and before I knew it I was walking into the pub, hands clenching at my sides with each stride across the floor towards the table. Brian never saw it coming, I grabbed him around his skinny neck in a half nelson and dragged his ass out the door. I may be small but when pissed I can lift semi trucks up and toss them to the side. Brian was yelling the whole way out the door, I let go of him and dropped his stupid ass on the ground, before he could get up I drop kicked him in the nuts.
"Keep your fucking hands off Conor!" I screamed into his ear while he retched his guts out. "If you lay your filthy hands on her one more time it'll be your last!" I was just about to kick him again when strong arms wrapped around me from behind and picked me up. I was about to start struggling to get free when I smelled Drakar.
"Fucking DYKES!!!" Brian yelled from where he was trying to get up. I tried to get free of Conor's hold but she carried me into the Pub and went right to the kitchen. She let me go and pushed me down into one of the chairs by a small table. I looked up into her darkened blue eyes but before I could say a word she jabbed me in my chest and shook her head no. Pleading blue eyes looked to Katy.
"Keila, Conor would tell you this if she could." She placed a hand on our shoulders. "Don't make the same mistake that she did, it's not worth it."
"But Brian deserved it and more!"
"We know this, but he can gain more from hurting you than he can from grabbing Conor."
"I don't get it?"
"He knows your living with Conor and figures if he keeps grabbing her that you'll do exactly like you did today."
"How does he know I'm living with her?" I rubbed my eyes and groaned. "Stupid bitch! Of course he knows, he works not 25 foot from the house." I looked into Conor's blue eyes hoping she could see how sorry I was. "I'll move out so that you don't have to put up with his bullshit anymore."
Conor put her hands on either side of my face and shook her head no, taking a pad of paper from her pocket she scribbled on it then handed it to me.
The note said. "He's an asshole and if you do that, he wins."
"But why is he doing all of this?"
Katy pulled up a chair and sat down next to me. "Because you made him look like the asshole he is in front of all those men. So to get back and make it look like it's all your fault he keeps playing games. He ran his mouth in here and told all of them that he threw you out because you were frigid in bed."
I busted up laughing, Katy and Conor gave me a strange look. "For once the asshole didn't lie!" I wiped the tears that were running down my face from my laughter. "Frigid is not the word I would use, desperately sick, nauseous or praying for death are more like it!" I took a deep breath, looking at Conor's concerned face made my heart ache. "He called us dykes, I wonder how many other people think that?"
"Does it matter?" Katy asked.
I thought for a few minutes and came to the conclusion that "No, it doesn't." I grinned evilly at both of them. "I'll tell everybody that he's so bad in bed that he made me that way." Conor's eyebrow buried itself in her dark bangs. "I know that's not how it is but these idiots don't."
"He already passed around that you two are lovers."
I raised both of my eyebrows at Katy then looked at Conor's grin. "Am I frigid with you to?"
"Ohh boy Conor, your in deep shit now!" Katy laughed all the way back to the grill.
"I'll pass it around that your a screamer." Conor wrote on her pad.
@@@@@@
I started spending more time in the kitchen with Katy, helping her with the cooking and stealing glances of six foot of woman running around in the pub. I knew every inch of her body by now and wondered to myself why I kept watching her like I did. Or why I felt a slow burn when our eyes connected through the small window. Numerous times I caught Katy grinning at me from her permanent spot in front of the grill.
Brenda came in with me everyday to eat lunch, which we did back in the kitchen, she was to the point where she was going to beat Brian up if she went out front. That would all come to an end in a few days, Conor's Enforcer was suppose to be here to take care of the rowdy assholes and from what I heard this person was a real monster.
"So Keila, how's the lesbian life treating you?" Brenda asked me.
"I wouldn't know, you haven't told me anything lately."
"Ha ha very funny." She gave me a slanted eyed look. "Ya know it spread like wild fire."
"Did it really, I wonder if I'm having any fun?" I froze in the middle of lifting my fork. "Shit! I bet my family is going nuts right about now! I should call my sister and see if she's heard anything."
Brenda dropped her head down towards her chest. "She's suppose to come see you tomorrow at work after she drops the kids off at school."
"Just great! Then she is more understanding than our mother." I wish that I could drop into a hole somewhere and forget about seeing Tina, she would give me the third degree.
@@@@@@@@@@
The store had been crazy all morning, some kind of big happening in town had brought people from all over and even though our store was kind of hidden they still managed to find it. The last of the crowd had just gone out the door when I heard Brenda yell at me from the office.
"How's your girlfriend doing?"
"Brenda I do not have a girlfriend!"
"Oohh sooo all those longing looks you give Conor are being wasted huh?"
"I do not do that! She's just my roommate, nothing more. Hell I never see her except for at the pub."
Grumbling under my breath. "I'm not longing for Conor."
"Ohh so you two have already done the deed." She yelled loud enough that the people in the pub could hear her. I jumped up on the counter right in front of the camera. A wicked grin on my face as I unzipped my smock. "Hey Brenda, suck my tits!" I pulled up my T-shirt and flashed her.
"KEILA!"
I turned to see my sister standing in the doorway along with Conor right behind her. I felt my face turn the same color red as my smock.
"Hey Sis, good to see you. How are the kids?" I tried to give her a bright smile hoping she didn't hear Brenda laughing her ass off in the office. Conor smiled at me and shook her head as she helped me down off the counter. Tina stood right in front of me with a smirk on her face.
"So Mouse." She used the nickname she had given me years ago. "Do you always flash Brenda?"
"Nope, in fact this was a first for her. I just took her flashing virginity."
Tina was taller than me and had dark brown hair and eyes, she made sure that she was always standing so that she towered over me. "So where's this woman your sleeping with?" I knew she was joking by the glimmer in her brown eyes. I dropped my head down and cast a sideways glance to where Conor was making a cup of coffee. Tina's eyes grew wide when she looked at Conor.
"My Gods Keila!" She whispered only loud enough for me to hear. "She's gorgeous! I'd jump the fence for her."
"Tina, I didn't jump any fence so just stop. Brian's just pissed because I left his nasty ass." She came to stand right in front of me and dropped her head so that we were nose to nose. "I'm gonna do something for you that needs to be done." I was confused as all hell. Tina reached down and picked me up in her arms and went right towards the office where Brenda was sitting in front of the monitor with Conor behind her. "Tina what the hell are you doing." I held on with my arms around her neck and hoped she didn't drop me. "Tina?" She walked up to Conor and dropped me into her arms then looked down at where Brenda had froze the picture of me flashing her on the monitor.
"To bad you couldn't print that, we could put it in the family album." Tina said with a deep chuckle.
Even though there was no place I would rather be than in Conor's strong arms, I gazed up at her and shrugged my shoulders as I wiggled free so that I could smack both Brenda and Tina.
"Your both sick bitches!" I jabbed Tina in her chest with my index finger. "And to think your my sister!"
@@@@@@@
When Conor came home that night I was sitting at the kitchen table balancing my checkbook and wishing my last name was Gates. After paying my bills and my car payment, I was looking at a four-digit number and three of those digits were zeros.
"Maybe I could kidnap Brian and sell him to a research lab?" I was doing my usual by talking to myself. "Nah, from the looks of him they would think he had already been there for an extensive amount of time for testing for chemical reactions on rodents."
A piece of paper slid across the table and stopped in front of me.
"Mental hospital, $50.00 a head." Conor had wrote.
"There's an idea!" I grinned at her evilly. "Hijack one of those tour busses that goes to Atlantic city and turn them all in! I could retire early!" I could tell that I scared her with my idea. "I can get worse ya know." Conor covered her ears and walked over to the eternal coffee pot, I gave her a look that told her to drink at her own risk. At Brian's I learned that coffee had to be stretched, so I drank it whether it was five hours old or ten hours past the time it began to have a life of it's own. Sometimes the only intelligent conversations I had in that house were with Grumpy and the things living in the refrigerator.
I sat back and wondered if I could claim Social Security benefits for my mental health problem because I was definitely insane when I moved in with Brian. And for now also. As I watched Conor move around the kitchen with panther like grace, the things that ran wild through my wicked little mind about how she could put those movements to work. She turned and caught me with a lecherous look on my now blushing face. Her raised eyebrow told me all I needed to know. In the short time I had been around her I knew that that look was a questioning one when she tilted her head a certain way.
"I was just thinking about...Brian." Yeah right you idiot! "Uuhhmm...so when's your Enforcer supposed to be here." I'm so smooth with changing topics, just like 40-grain sand paper. The soft snort told me she saw me as a piece of crystal. I really suck at lying! She held up two fingers and pointed to her watch, I couldn't wait to meet this person. But then again the word MY Enforcer gave me the impression that there was more to the picture between them. My heart sank a little and my mind sped up double time. Why did it bother me that she had a lover? Was I jealous because she had one and that I didn't or the fact that I found her very attractive and wanted her for myself? At the rate that I was going she would be making a quick fifty bucks by turning ME into the nut house!
I felt warm air come across my face and came back to Mars to see cleavage. Conor was leaning over the table waving her hand in front of my face, of course now I feel like a piggish man for looking right down her shirt and worse for wanting to bury my face between her breasts. I nearly came out of my chair when she used her fingers under my chin to tilt my head up so that our eyes were meeting.
She mouthed the words. "Are you ok?"
"Huh?" I'm such a brilliant conversationalist! I wonder if I threw myself in front of a semi truck if it would be considered suicide? My new mantra that just replaced my old one of "I hate Brian" is "I'm not gay?" Ran through my head. I really need to talk to Brenda about all of this or call a help line.
I can hear myself now asking them asinine questions like. "Am I gay if I want to jump my female friend even though I've only slept with men?" Cha-ching one more toaster oven!
Conor's dark brows dipped down over her nose, she tilted her head to the side. Before my very eyes she smiled so big I thought her jaws were going to pop. Then I heard a rumbling noise coming closer to the house, Conor was up and running out the door. It must be her girlfriend the Enforcer. I felt like a ton of bricks fell on my head. I walked to the front door like I was being led to the electric chair, did I want to see this person? How bad could it be?
Really BAD! They stood in the drive way wrapped around each other next to a huge dark blue Harley. I really needed to get a grip on myself. "I'm not gay, I'm not gay" But it hurt to see her with this strange woman in such a affectionate way. After Conor placed a kiss on this woman's forehead she put her back on the ground, they were heading my way and I wished that a giant hole would open up so that I could jump and end it all.
"Hey ya, I'm Chianne Bruster." I almost fell over when I looked into her golden eyes after taking her extended hand. Spooky was a good word for the feeling I had and extremely tiny! She stood maybe five foot seven and looked like she could bench press Conor's truck! Thick muscles covered her entire body making her look like a miniature Chyna. No wonder she's a bouncer! Plus it solved one question about Conor. She likes body builders, which I am not. I do work out but there is no way in hell I'd ever look like Chianne!
Conor smacked Chianne in her head then shook her head no and mouthed the words "Pony."
"Where?" Being a natural blonde I can't use the excuse of peroxide melting my brain cells for my ignorance.
"Right in front of you." Chianne answered. "Just love how Conor uses one word sentences, mass confusion." I was thinking that she wasn't much better until she told me that her nickname was Pony.
"Why Pony?" S&M pictures ran through my head as to why she would be called Pony. Did I want to know?
"That's Conor's way of reminding me how stupid a city kid I was." She backhanded Conor in her stomach when she snorted at her. "We got drunk one night and Conor took us out to this field. She said it would be fun to do some cow tipping. So here's all us Dumbasses drunk ass shit trying to tip over what we found out were tiny little pony's, while stretch here stands back and laughs her ass off. Well, I just happen to find the one that hated humans. I went to tip her over and she kicked the hell outta me then sat on my chest." She smacked Conor again. "And don't start up with Chia pony or Chia pet either! I could kill mom for my name!"
@@@@@@@@@@
I was jerked from a deep sleep with a big crash coming from the living room. I scraped myself off the ceiling and stumbled with blurry eyes out to the living room. There half on the couch and the other half on the smashed coffee table were Conor and Pony passed out.
"You two love birds can stay there until morning!" I whispered harshly. "Normal people are in bed at this time of the damn morning and I hope you guys get the hang over from hell!" I wasn't really mad that I had been woke up, it was because they had been over at the pub after closing all by themselves and I could only imagine what they had been doing besides drinking. The green monster was beating me up one side and down the other.
@@@@@@@
"Ya think she bought it?" Pony asked a snickering Conor.
"Psssss!" Conor pointed to what was left of the table beneath them.
"Hope ya didn't like it any." Pony lifted one of her legs to pull a piece of wood out. "From the look on her face I think little Blondie is pissed at you! Tell me again why were doing this?" Conor gave her the eyebrow then growled at her.
Conor pulled extra blankets and a pillow out of her closet and handed them to Pony who had cleaned up the broken coffee table so she could get to the couch where she would be sleeping until her apartment was ready.
Conor lay on her bed fully clothed, grabbing the edges to try and keep the bed from tossing her on the floor. She had no idea why she let Pony talk her into doing rum shooters but she would pay for it in the morning. Pony always could out drink her, had something to do with her quick metabolism or something. One of these days she would get her so wasted that she would be praying to the porcelain Goddess for hours.
Pony tossed and turned on the couch trying to find a position that didn't make her head pound so much, she knew that last shot of rum would make her pay for her ego. Now she waited for the night sweats to hit, that always happened when she drank to much and the reason why she had stopped her partying ways, but she always made an exception when it came to Conor. She was just to funny when she was loaded and trying to pretend that she wasn't.
"The pain I go through for amusement." She groaned from the seven little dwarfs beating on her brain. "Conor and her damn contests!"
After I beat the hell out of my pillow a few times I finally got back to sleep. So now my blurry eyes shot daggers at the alarm clocks I had purposely put across the room. I hated getting up at 0430 to go to work but that meant that I got off in the afternoon and had the rest of the day to get things done, unless I got stuck pulling a double shift or groceries and the liquor order came in. Which is what today was, 90 cases of liquor to put away not including what was ordered for MacArthur's pub. I didn't mind putting the liquor away, it was the drunks who tried and put it in their pockets before I could get it on the shelf that pissed me off.
Like I couldn't see the two fifths of rot gut sticking out of someone's pockets! I had learned a long time ago that men are the stupidest creatures on the planet. I now know that I wasn't much better by dating and living with the king of the idiots. I shocked myself but wishing that there was an island somewhere that was inhabited by only women like the Amazons of Greek history.
I made sure that I made as much noise as possible in the kitchen as a form of paybacks from early that morning. Grabbing a travel mug from the cabinet I made my short walk over to the store.
I was sitting at the desk when Brenda came in looking like she had been hit by a beer truck. Her hair was wilder than I've ever seen it and her eyes looked like tomatoes in color.
"Gods your ugly first thing in the morning! No wonder all your girlfriends leave you."
"Gee thanks, I love you to." She dropped down into the chair next to me and let her headrest on the edge of the desk. Her groaning made me feel like I was in there with a suffering wildebeest.
"You had a date with Jose Cuervo last night didn't you?"
"Him and the rest of his family, including his pet worm. I will never drink again...until next weekend that is." Brenda leaned back in the chair to look at me, a grin formed on her face. "And why do you look so rough this morning?"
"Because Conor and Pony decided to come in drunk and fall all over the place making enough noise to wake the dead!" I rubbed my tired eyes. "I hope they're both suffering with hang overs."
"Ooohh do I hear a bit of jealousy in your voice?"
"No, why would I be jealous? Conor and I are just friends and Pony is her girlfriend, who by the way looks like she could wrestle gators and win."
"Damn! All the good ones are always taken." She ginned at me with her evilness. "Are you gonna come out of that closet yet?"
"Brenda I am not in any closet." I started my mantra, I'm not gay I'm not gay! Did it help? NO! I was just about to ask Brenda a very important question when the grocery truck from McClain's showed up. I groaned more for my chicken shit ways than the fact that I had all the stock to put away.
"I guess this means we have to work huh?" Brenda asked me with an low grumble.
An hour later Keila was sitting on the floor surrounded by the gray totes filled with the new inventory that needed to be scanned into the computer, priced and put on the shelves when the liquor truck pulled back to the front doors. Brenda couldn't help but laugh at her after the truck had been unloaded. The boxes where way over her head and she was standing on a little wooden stool so that she could open the boxes up.
"Need a ladder Keila?"
"Ha ha very funny, like your much taller than me." I knew that the driver piled the boxes this high just to get me mad. Not to mention that the damn things were heavy as hell and shifted when you carried them. I was just about to give up when two would be slaves came through the doors.
"Good, you two can carry all this stuff to the back room for me." Conor and Pony gave me a laser death look on the scale of 10, 10 being the highest. "You two can sweat off all the booze ya put away last night.
"And why exactly should we do this for you?" Pony asked me.
"Because I'm soo irresistible and your such nice people." I was laying it on thick.
"Conor you gonna let her sweet talk us into doing all her work?" Conor just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
"Come on Pony, with all your muscles are you telling me these little boxes are gonna kill you?" Pony grumbled under her breath but grabbed four boxes of liqueur and headed for the back room.
"Brenda can you show Pony where to stack the boxes."
"Why me? I always feel like your lackey!" I thought to myself. "Because I want Conor all to myself, so you get Pony."
Pony hadn't even come back yet before I was dragged off to the office by a flustered Brenda.
"All my Gods Brenda!" She just about screamed in my ear. "Do ya think Conor would notice if her girlfriend came up missing as in kidnapped and cuffed to my bed forever?"
Pony pulled Conor into the back room took the boxes from her and jumped up and down like a little kid. "I want Brenda! Can I have her? Can I, can I. Tell me she's free!"
Conor held onto a pleading Pony by her shoulders. She mouthed the words to her. "Yes, she's free. But make it discreet."
"No problem, YES!" They froze the minute Keila stepped into the back room. "You two done playing around back here?"
"You ain't no fun!" Pony puffed out her chest, spread her lats and strutted out to impress Brenda with her muscles.
"What is she doing?" I asked a snickering Conor who just shrugged her shoulders. "I wish you could speak, it would make things a lot easier." She draped one arm over my shoulder, lead me out of the room and into my land of sexual frustration.
After all the liquor was put up and the other stuff taken over to the pub, it was time to clock out. I was worn out and just wanted to take a hot bath and go to bed. But Conor and Pony had other ideas. They convinced me to go with them to the tourist trap part of Harpers Ferry and walk around. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but then again I would get to spend some time with Conor and get to know the tall silent woman. And watch how she interacted with Pony.
We walked through the area with Pony in front of us scaring all the tourists off into the roadway. It was like having an armed escort, that all of a sudden went completely ballistic and ran off.
"Where's she going?" I watched as Conor pointed to where Pony was flirting with Brenda. "Match made in HELL!" Conor just chuckled, she put her hand on my lower back and guided me into the homemade ice cream shop where she bought me a triple scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. She just got 10 points added to her scorecard. By the time we headed back so that she could open the pub my body was on a sexual high from all the small touches she had given me through out the day, I have always been a touchy person so it was nothing for me to place my hand upon her arm or touch her to get her attention. So when she did the same to me it was something I had never been exposed to. Brian never touched me except for one reason and I always felt sick. If she only knew what she had done to me. And of course I was repeating my mantra continuously the entire time to myself.
@@@@@@@@@@@
Brenda and I were sitting in the kitchen with Conor's Mom when I got up the nerve to ask the questions that had been beating me in the head for the last two weeks.
"Can I ask you a question? Now this is just because I'm curious, nothing more."
"Question away."
"How do you feel around Pony? Doe's your heart beat uncontrollably in your chest and make you feel like your having a heart attack?" Brenda gave me the eyebrow look.
"How did Brian make you feel?"
"Hey that's not what I'm asking about!"
"Maybe it's the same way?"
"Sooo, Pony makes you sick to your stomach and you want to run to the hospital for a rabbis shot?" I grinned at her.
"HELL NO!! All she has to do is touch me and I feel like I've been hit by lightning. Does that help?"
"Sorta."
"Oohh I get it! You want to know if the feelings you get from Conor means your a dyke."
"I do not get any feelings from Conor touching me."
"Ohh so that stupid grin you had on your face all day was for nothing? And every time I saw you two your hands were all over each other because you didn't like it?"
I chewed on my bottom lip, at a total loss of words as I relived earlier that day. "You know I'm a touchy person, it's just me."
"Right! Get out of the closet already. I know what you need to do!" She gave me a toothy grin and let me stew for a good five minutes.
"WHAT!?!"
"Kiss her!"
"Are you nuts? I told you I'm not gay."
"So it won't matter if you kiss her because your not gay."
"Your an ass, ya know that?"
"Yep, I dare ya to go out there and lay one on her."
She knew that I would never turn down a dare, even if it killed me.
"And what do I get if I do this?"
"Uhhmm an answer to your question?"
I growled at her, I knew she would never let me live it down if I didn't do this. So I got up on shaky legs and half stumbled to her snickering out into the bar area to look for Conor. The only one I found was a pissed off Pony tossing some drunk out the door.
"Pony where's Conor?"
She wiped her hands on her pant legs and grimaced. "She had a doctor's appointment in Baltimore, she won't get back until late tonight."
"It's nothing serious is it? She never said anything to me about having to go to one."
"Nah, just a check-up. Is it like this in here all the time with these asshole men?"
"If you mean the shitty pick-up lines and the ass grabbing? Yep!"
"No wonder Conor begged me to come out here from the other pub."
I went back into the kitchen and ran right into Brenda who was peeking out the little window.
"Where is she?"
"In Baltimore at a doctor's appointment." I was hoping that I had just got out of the dare.
"I guess it can wait until later, I mean what's the hurry."
I left after talking to Conor's mom since Brenda abandoned me to flirt with Pony. I wondered how Conor felt about that? To each their own. I went back to Conor's and took a nice hot bath to relax all the muscles that had been screaming from the store work and walking for hours in town. I went to bed right after that to be waken again early in the morning by sounds I knew were coming from Conor's bedroom. I almost went over and pounded on her door for her and Pony to stop making so much damn noise with their moaning and groaning. If they were going to do that all the time I would have to find another place to live. I just couldn't handle knowing that they were having sex right across the hall from me. Then pictures of Conor naked popped into my head and made my body do things it hadn't ever done before. I gave up and went to the kitchen to make coffee, plus it was far enough away that I couldn't hear them.
After drinking three pots of coffee and feeling like I could run across the world and back from the caffeine high I felt the prickles on the back of my neck and knew that Conor was behind me. I wanted to lash out at her for all the noise but as soon as I saw how tired she looked I changed my mind.
"You want a cup of coffee, it's fresh?" I went to get up but she placed her hand on my shoulder keeping me in my chair.
"You look tired, long night with Pony huh?" She turned from where she was fixing her coffee and gave me a funny look. I turned when I heard giggling coming from behind me and saw Brenda looking like a rough road hanging all over an equally disheveled Pony. I covered my eyes and dropped my head down onto the table. I had just made a huge ass out of myself to Conor. I wondered how Conor felt seeing her girlfriend with Brenda. I was about to look up to see the expression on Conor's face when I felt warm air touch my ear and neck, I froze and held my breath.
A deep throaty voice whispered in my ear. "I didn't have any fun, but they did." The tingles that went through my body headed right for the south area and sat down there and screamed bloody murder. If Conor could do that by just talking...she talked to me! I jerked my head up and just about knocked her out when my head collided with her nose. She stumbled back and hit the counter with her back and slid to the floor. I jumped up out of my chair and straddled her hips. Blood was running from both of her nostrils, I just knew I broke her nose. Not thinking I pulled my T-shirt off and wiped the blood from her face.
"Gods I'm so sorry Conor! I didn't know you were still that close." I watched as her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell forward into me.
"Ohh my Gods! I think I killed her!" I moved so that she was laying in my lap with her head tilted back. Pony and Brenda finally noticed after checking each others tonsils out that I was on the floor with a passed out Conor.
"What happened to Conor?" They both asked at the same time.
"I accidentally head butted her in the nose. I think she's dead!"
"Nah." Pony answered me. "She just can't stand the sight of her own blood." She laughed when I gave her a raised eyebrow. Then she looked at me a little better.
"Did she pass out before or after you took your shirt off?"
"After, why?"
Both her and Brenda laughed at me, I soon figured out why when I felt cold air across my back from the kitchen door opening. There I sat with Conor in my lap with only what God had given me. I forgot that I didn't have a bra on. I dropped over Conor, which I knew looked kind of sexual since her face was now buried between my breasts.
"She has this thing for tits." Pony informed me just as Katy came into the kitchen.
"Who has a thing for tits?" Conor's mom asked us.
"Stretch does, she passed out as soon as Mouse there took off her shirt and flashed her. She flashed me the other day, it's a new thing for her. You know teasing the dykes."
"That's not what happened!" I tried to tell Katy without raising up from my cowering spot over Conor. I was wiping the blood from her nose and she passed out."
"After she saw your tits!" Pony tossed in.
"All right children! So, Mouse is it? Did you give her a bloody nose 'cuz she got fresh with you?"
I groaned into long silky black hair that smelled of lavender. "I accidentally head butted her when she spoke into my ear."
Katy rummaged around in the freezer and handed me a baggy full of ice. "Put this on her nose, it'll help with the bleeding. And don't worry about Stretch, she passes out at the first sight of her own blood." She walked over and grabbed Pony by her ear and dragged her from the room. I heard Pony yelp and Brenda laugh before Katy came back into the room with a T-shirt for me.
"What did you do to Pony?"
"I kicked her in the ass for being an ass. I swear I should have taken her over my knee more often when she was little!" She handed me the shirt then went to get herself a cup of coffee.
"You've known her that long?"
"Ohh yeah!"
I felt a vibration against my chest and knew that Conor was awake. I rose up to see blinking blue eyes looking up at me, she had a wicked shit-eating grin on her face.
"Since the day she was hatched, she's my sister."
I almost fell over at the news of who Pony was.
"Your sister! I thought she was your girlfriend from the way you two were acting when she got here!"
"Surprise!" Both Conor and Katy said in unison.
"Why I outta!"
"Put your shirt on? Even though it is a very lovely sight this early in the morning." I knew my face was bright red, I pulled on the shirt and smelled Drakar right away. Katy had given me one of Conor's shirts to put on.
"Then the other night when you two came in and fell all over the place, what was that?"
"Uuhhmm drinking contest."
"And most likely playing with your head." Katy said as she toed Conor in her ribs. "Stretch and Chianne like to play with people minds. I can't believe I have two evil daughters and five sweet boys."
I coughed and wheezed when I added up seven kids. "You have seven kids?"
"Yep, I can get pregnant just thinking about sex. Thank the Gods their father passed away years ago otherwise I'd have my own football team."
"That's gross Ma! I was an immaculate conception."
Katy got this evil look on her face, she leaned right over Conor. "You know your father and I had sex right on top of the bar in the pub."
Conor's eyes grew wide, her mouth dropped open. I thought she was going to pass out again. "STOP! I don't wanna hear no more!"
"He was really fond of the Aunt Jamima treatment to. You know spanking me with a flipper?"
Conor jumped up and ran from the kitchen yelling for Pony. I just sat there on the floor laughing until tears rolled down my face.
"She hates even thinking about me having sex." Katy chuckled. "Evil damn kids."
I saw everything in a brand new light, they were all in cahoots together. At least now I didn't have to get rid of Pony as competition for Conor's friendship. I just had to figure out what the hell I was doing.
Tina went and I went out after I was done with work to get something to eat, she tried to get me to go to the pub, like I don't already live there! Instead we went to one of the oldest places in Ranson called Billy's. I think the women working there came with the place when it was first started. I always looked for their walkers to be parked up against the counter somewhere.
I was on my third apple dumpling with vanilla ice cream covering it, I would have to run back to Bolivar after this supper. I wasn't that hungry but it had taken me all that food to get the nerve up to talk to Tina about sex.
"Sis, I need to ask you something."
"About sex?" She gave me a shit-eating grin.
"I hate when you read my mind!"
"It's not that, it's the amount of food you just put away that did it. So what do you want to know? How to do it?" Her gasp came from me kicking her under the table.
"No...how would you know?"
"Ohh so it is sex. With any one I know?" She was really asking for a ass whipping.
"No. I just want to know if sex with your husband has ever been...undesirable? You know what I'm saying."
"Nope, never. Keila, Brian was just the wrong person for you." She had a serious look on her face. "You should have never been with him. So now's your chance to find the person your supposed to be with and if it's a woman, so what."
I just had to ask this question, it may make her mad but she'll get over it in a few years. "Have you ever...you know...with a woman?" I was waiting for the volcanic eruption.
"Would you think differently of me if I had?"
"Noo! You should know that I'm not like that."
She was contemplating her answer for a few minutes, so I sat and played with the melting ice cream in my bowl.
"Remember Amanda Faulks? You and her were in the same class."
I know my jaw bounced off the tabletop a few times. "Uuhh huh." Tina's brown eyes went distant as she thought of a time long past.
"Lets just say that we became really close one summer."
I almost flipped my spoon in the air along with the bowl that had just spilt melted ice cream all over my black pants.
"Oohhh shit!"
"That's going to be a really embarrassing walk out of here." She pointed to my lap.
"I don't care about my pants. It's just that Amanda and I...we kinda..." I groaned and covered my face with my hands.
"Keila, it's all right. Amanda and I played around but I didn't feel like I do with Dave. There was no sparkage there, sure we had fun but I like men and enjoy having sex with them." She snickered. "If Dave only knew how many before we got married he'd have a coronary!"
"Gods Tina! Your a slag and here I thought I was bad because I want to rip Conor's clothes..."
"To shreds, toss her down and play Warlord and sex slave?"
"Is that wrong to want to do that, considering I'm not..."
"A dyke?" Tina finished my sentence for me. "What are you so afraid of? Keila follow your heart and don't worry about what other people think or say."
"Thanks Tina."
"No problem. Sooo when are you going to jump Conor?" She asked with a huge grin on her face.
Me and my big mouth. Now I would have both her and Brenda dogging me about a certain six foot of heart stopping sexual frustrating blue-eyed woman.
I went back to Conor's after Tina and I had gone to do her grocery shopping to find the place silent. Not a soul was to be found and I knew they wouldn't be at the pub because it didn't open for another four hours. Pony was more than likely with Brenda. But Conor was always here right up until she had to go to work, who was I to question her absence?
I made a pot of coffee and plopped down in front of the TV and flipped the cartoon station on to watch the X-Men. Rogue was my favorite and I thought she looked sexy as hell with that white streak in her hair. Really, I'm not gay! And the Pope is a Pagan in disguise who wants to convert the entire following of the catholic religion to worship the Greek Goddess Artemis. I had dozed off somewhere in the middle of the Tiny Toons and woke up when I heard voices coming from the kitchen. The deep throaty purr I knew was Conor's but the other one I had never heard before. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and went to investigate. Ok, so I was nosy and wanted to know who she was talking to. I stopped just short of the door way and bent down to tie my shoelaces. Good thing no one saw me considering it would have been a very bad excuse since I was bare foot.
"I want you to come back."
"I told you months ago it was over. And I meant it so just leave me the hell alone."
"But Conor, we were so good together! You can't deny that."
"We were. The operative word here is 'were' But you just could be satisfied with just me. You had to drag every woman that turned your head into our bed."
"I've changed. I want another chance."
"No. Your chances ran out a long time ago!"
"What are you involved with some one already? You've only lived here a little while, did you run right out and get yourself a little whore to warm your bed?"
I could tell things were escalating to the point where some one was going to get hurt. I took a deep breath and charged in on my little white pony with my brain screaming. 'Your and idiot!' I walked right up to Conor and shocked the hell out of her.
"Hey baby, why didn't you wake me up?" I put my hand behind her head and pulled her down for a soft lingering kiss. Her eyes were still closed and she moaned as I pulled away. If I hadn't been holding on to her I would have hit the tiled floor in a heap of unconscious Jell-O afterwards. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled my body up against hers in a protective and comforting manner. She found her voice and gave an order in a deep growl.
"No, now get the fuck out! And don't come back or"
"Or what?" The tall blonde asked in a threatening way.
"Or I'll knock the living shit out of you and send you back to hell on a one way ticket!"
The blonde turned to see Pony and Brenda standing behind her. The look in Pony's golden eyes glowed with a hatred that could send demons on their way.
"Still having your little sister fight your battles?"
Pony stepped within an inch of the blonde and growled. "I don't fight her battles, I just like to fight! So get out before I use you as a warm up dummy!"
She stepped around Pony then turned back to face us.
"This isn't over Conor, not by a long shot because you owe me!" Her brown evil eyes drilled right into me.
I heard a low rumbling that turned into a growl. Conor had bared her teeth in a snarl, I could feel her body tensing against me. I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her head down close so that I could whisper into her ear.
"Don't do it, she's not worth the jail time."
I heard the front door rattle the windows and knew that the blonde had left. I let Conor go but she still held onto me.
"Are you ok? I didn't mean to barge in but I over heard the conversation and I was afraid that you were going to do something stupid like hit who ever she was."
She gave me a tight hug then let me go. "Thanks. I would have done more than hit her."
"And I would of had ta hide another body!" Pony chuckled when she saw the look on my face. "Just kidding. We don't hide them, Ma cooks 'em up for the customers."
"BBQ spare ribs, nice and tender." I turned to see Conor grinning. "Human, the other white meat." Both sisters where laughing at their sick little joke. And Brenda being...Brenda joined right in with her sick little mind.
"Pony if your a cannibal...come eat me." Golden eyes flashed, a roar was unleashed and two sets of feet beat down the hallway.
"Sick bitches." Conor whispered.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, I'll even answer if I can." She gave me a lopsided grin.
"Who was she?"
"A bitch from hell."
"That was obvious. But what was she to you?"
"Lets see. My former lawyer/agent/lover, worst nightmare and biggest mistake."
"Agent?"
"Yep, I'm the world champion in hog calling."
"Let me guess, you were practicing one day and she came running out of the nearest pig sty?"
"Sorta, she was sitting in the audience and heard me singing and I couldn't get rid of her after that."
I was floored, I would never have thought of Conor as a singer. "Your a singer?"
"Yep, opera if ya believe it." She jumped up on the counter and sat with her legs swinging like a little kid.
"Nope, you don't look...big enough. You know like Beverly Sills."
"EEEWWW! Scary picture, me at 300lbs!"
"What did she mean by you owe her?"
"She kept me from going to jail, so she thinks she can blackmail me into just about anything. Like going back to her. NOT!"
"Blackmail, how?"
"She says that she can get other people to swear in a court of law that I beat them up also. I really don't care what she does 'cuz I have my own ammunition to use against her. She should have been more careful who she fucked." She grinned evilly. "One word jailbait."
"Oohh! But this woman."
"Debbie."
"Debbie was you lawyer slash what ever and she wants to turn you in? She's nuts!" I just couldn't believe someone could stoop that low.
"That's a lawyer for you, pond scum sucking bitch."
"So about you not speaking?"
"I just wanted to annoy the hell out of people." She grinned until I smacked her in the stomach. "I had throat surgery for polyps on my vocal cords. I wasn't allowed to speak for two months while I healed."
"Will you ever be able to sing again?"
"My doctor doesn't know yet, I have a little bit more healing to do and then only time will tell. So what about that kiss you gave me?"
I turned bright red and stuttered. "Well...I...just wanted to...annoy her."
She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me to her, her blue eyes darkened right before me.
"Maybe I'll call her back and you can annoy her some more." She leaned closer to me, our lips were just inches apart when running feet came into the kitchen. We both groaned at the interruption. I pulled back to see Pony with her dark hair standing up like she had been electrocuted, at the refrigerator with the door open. What really got me was she was naked and had scratches all down her back right to her muscular thighs.
She turned smiling gold eyes on us and grinned showing all her even white teeth.
"I forgot the ice." She held up a handful of ice and ran back down the hall.
"Ice?" I asked Conor.
"Uuhhmm, I tell ya some other time. You wanna have a drink with me?"
"Got any Jack Daniels?"
"Hell we got ever label Jack ever put out! Come on lets go get us a drink."
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We went to the pub and grabbed one of the industrial size bags of chips and a bottle of green label Jack Daniels. I thought we were going to sit in there and drink but Conor had other ideas. We ended up in the back yard sitting in the grass leaning back against the split rail fence that bordered the yard. With the chirping of the crickets I almost forgot that Rt. 340 was just on the other side of Bolivar.
Conor sat with her long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles in front of her, the bottle of Jack held between her thighs and the chips between us. My eyes kept going to where that bottle was and very wicked thoughts were dancing around in my gutter mind. I had never had a guttersnipe mind before but I was soon becoming the sewer slug who would knock Brenda from her throne and reign as Queen. Both Brenda and Tina always told me that with my innocent looks I could get anything I wanted, just flash them a bright smile and the world was mine. I wondered if that would work with Conor? Did I want Conor? HELL YES! There goes my well thought out mantra.
Well, I've been caught staring at the area just above where the Jack was being held but thank the Gods that Conor thought I was trying to will the bottle to levitate over to me. If she only knew I was trying to will away her Levi's. I took a healthy slug and gasped when it burned all the way to join the burning in the south. Along with the burning came a loud roar from my empty stomach.
"What in the world do you have in there Godzilla?"
"Nope, baby Godzilla. He excites me more than Brian ever did." I got the raised eyebrow look from her.
"What made you even go out with that asshole? From what I saw of him running him over with my truck would be to good."
"I guess because he's the only guy who ever asked me out."
"Are all the men around here blind? You're beautiful!"
My face turned an unhealthy red at her compliment.
"No I'm not. My parents say that I'm just cute. It was their idea for me to go out with him and I thought if I didn't I would end up all alone for the rest of my life."
She cupped my cheek and turned my eyes to meet hers. "I don't believe that and your not alone anymore." A small smile graced her face. "He's a real idiot for hurting you that's for sure." She took a long drink of Jack then handed me the bottle back. "You'll find another man, I'm sure there's one out there just waiting for you to come along."
"But I don't want a man." I remarked. "And the catch that Brian is I didn't even want him!" She chuckled at what I had said about him. "I mean what women wouldn't want a man that has his friends over so much that you think your in just a big community living center, you have your very own beer can recycling plant and a greasy bloodhound dog that will eat all the food they drop on the floor." I hit myself in the forehead. "Damn and I gave all that up to live where it's the Pony and Brenda sexcapades! I'm going to get a decibel machine to make sure their screams aren't damaging my hearing."
"I just wish that I could sleep in my own bed, the bar in the pub is awful hard on my poor body."
"You've been sleeping on the bar!?"
"Yep, I can't handle the couch, it's to short and my face ends up stuck to the cushions. It's either that or let those two roll around on the floor in the living room."
"Uuuhhmm no, I know I couldn't handle seeing that in the morning." I thought for a minute. "You take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch. I'm shorter and being stuck to the cousins is heaven compared to being laid on by a dirty old bloodhound or an even dirtier Brian."
Conor tried to focus her eyes, the whiskey was getting to her quicker than usual. "I can't do that."
"Yes you can. I don't pay you any rent so the beds yours."
"Ya know what?" Her mind was fogging up with each drink of whiskey.
"What?" I took a long pull off the bottle and grimaced when it hit bottom. My face was numb and I was feeling no pain what's so ever.
"Huh?" She had a stupid grin on her face and she kept weaving where she sat.
"What?" I handed the bottle back to her and watched her miss her mouth twice before finding it.
"I don't know, what?" She snickered and fell over while handing the bottle back to. Draining the last of it, Keila took a deep breath as a rush of grass came right up at her. They decided that they had better try and get into the house before they ended up staying outside for the rest of the night. Keila climbed to her feet that kept wanting to go in opposite directions and helped a staggering Conor up. It felt like hours before they found the back door and made it to the bedroom Keila was using. The last thing they remembered seeing was the bed.
"Ohhh Gods please let me die." I whispered as I felt the room spinning and a throbbing pain that pounded with each heartbeat. "I will never do that again." I tried to lift my head from where it laid on something that was really hot. I tried with all the strength that my poor body had but all I could do was turn my head a little bit to the side. I then panicked when all I saw was nothing! "I drank so much I went blind!" I was on my stomach and it felt like I had a ton of weight on my back, I wiggled around until I realized that I did have a ton on me and it was six foot tall and smelled of Drakar. We had collapsed the night before in a heap on top the single bed and had gotten all tangled together. My head was buried between Conor's neck and shoulder and she had some how ended up laying across my back. "Just my luck, I get you in bed and we both pass out." I mumbled against her.
I felt her body shake with chuckles, I didn't know that she was awake, and what's more is why she didn't move off of me when she did?
"Conor I feel smushed."
"I feel nice and comfortable but I'll get off of you before you either die on me or beat the shit out of me."
She rolled over and the cold air hit my body making me shiver for a minute. I wasn't a snuggler but with Conor I knew I would become one real damn fast! I snuggled down into her shoulder and inhaled deeply of her cologne and a scent that was all hers. I felt like I was being watched so I looked up to find blue eyes smiling down at me.
"Comfortable?" Conor asked.
"Now I am, what time is it?"
"About six am. Did you have to work this morning?" Her voice sounded worried.
"Nope, off today. Just wanna sleep." I wrapped my arm around her waist and drifted off to sleep.
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"Ain't that cute? Wish I had a camera." Pony whispered to Brenda as they stood in the doorway. "Do ya think they did IT?"
Brenda slapped her lover in the shoulder. "Your kidding right? Keila is not like that." She became silent for a moment. "Are ya up for some good smutty fun Pons?" A wicked gleam showed in Brenda's hazel eyes.
"How smutty?"
"Very!"
Conor woke up to snorting and mumbling in her ear, plus the warm breath that was blowing into her ear. Other parts of her body were definitely awake and screaming at her for some relief. She moaned deep in her chest as the throbbing became worse with each breath from Keila.
"I'm gonna die from this, I just know it!" Conor thought to herself. "It's been a very long time since I...so long I can't even remember what it's called!" She moved out from under Keila and stumbled to the bathroom where she laid with her face pressed against the cold tile floor.
"Gods I feel like shit." She mumbled. A sound of pounding feet came to her ears and before she could move Keila was falling over her and landing on her knees to pray at the porcelain Goddess. Conor felt her stomach roll at the sounds of Keila's retching. Biting the insides of her mouth she tried to think other things rather than tossing her cookies. It didn't work, as soon as Keila was done Conor took her place. And that's where Katy found them an hour later, curled up together on the bathroom floor.
"I swear you kids will give me more gray hair." Katy remarked as she leaned down over them. "Geez, you two smell like the pub after closing hours." She pushed on her daughters shoulder trying to wake her up.
"Come on Stretch, it's after one o'clock all ready."
"Maaaa I feel awful." Conor whined.
"Good! Next time don't drink so damn much. Now get your ass in the shower, we have the BBQ in a couple of hours." Katy laughed at the moaning and groaning coming from her suffering daughter.
"And get your Mouse off the floor before she can't move." Katy laughed all the way out of the small house. "My Mouse?" She asked herself. Conor tried but Keila refused to get up, she kept saying that the floor was moving and she refused to let it beat her. So she was going to hold it down right where it was. So Conor striped right where she was and crawled into the shower. She finished and stepped out with a towel wrapped around her. Grabbing her toothbrush she scrubbed her teeth until she felt eyes watching her. She looked down to see green eyes studying her thighs that were showing below the towel.
"How you feel?"
Green eyes shot upwards to lock with pale blue. Keila's face turned a bright red from being caught checking out her friends long legs.
"Like a rough country road."
"Makes two of us."
Conor stepped over her, as she came to the door she pulled her towel off and dropped it into Keila's lap then went to her room. Keila lay on the floor with her mouth hanging open.
"Gods! I'm gonna die from blushing so much!"
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Continued In Part 2...
The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive