Operation Drop Zone by Larisa

LEFT…LEFT…STRAIGHT! OOHHH Hell, back the other way…hurry it's getting away!" A voice rang out in the partial silence along with the squeak of tennis shoes, the rubber wheels of the ladder stand and heavy panting. "SHIT I CAN'T REACH!" She swatted with her fish net and jumped up and down on the ladders top platform. "Too damn short even with a ladder," green eyes searched the ceiling, the cross beams in front and behind her before looking down to the floor. "You guys suck big time."

"Yeah well…so do you…shove that net…up your ass!" One of the two women that had been pushing the ladder around the Wal-Mart store panted out and then fell to the floor.

"Yeah well if you'd lay off the chicken tenders you wouldn't have that fat ass to drag around and been able to push me faster!"

"Look who's talking," the other one said and threw a tennis ball up at her. "You got an ass that looks like two of those giant cinnamon buns!" She pointed a shaky finger at the ceiling and yelled. "BIRD!" She then covered her head when it flew right over the top of them and used them as a drop zone. She snickered when a loud scream came from the small woman on the top of the ladders platform.

"Rotten god damn bird…got me AGAIN!" She screamed the last part out and ran for the bathroom. "God damn operation drop zone sucks donkey dicks!"

"GO BIRD!" The other two cheered the grey pigeon on and got up from the floor.

They cringed when they heard the twangy voice of their shift supervisor and tried to sneak away before she saw them. "Ya'll hold on up there now, why aren't ya'll in your departments putting stock up?" She pushed her cat eyeglasses up her long crooked nose and snapped her gum. "Shifts half over with and ya ain't done a damn thing!" She waved a long fingered hand at them and jabbed with a blood red fingernail. "Get movin or it'll be the last thing ya'll do!"

The two women looked to each other with crossed eyes and dropped their front teeth over their bottom lips so that they looked like her and nodded their heads. "Come on Smootcher I think we gots some new boxers in." She shook her long dark hair around her head until she got dizzy and stumbled off with her feet pointing out to the sides.

"Wait Stewie!" The other one yelled and took off frog hopping after her.

"Ya'll gotta be inbred or somethin, simple damn women. I'd fire ya'll but I can't get anyone else ta work." Looking around the immediate area, she spoke aloud to herself. "Now where's Murphy, there's all kinds of dog and cat food to put up?" She patted her fire engine red bouffant hairdo and waddled off with her head wagging back and forth from the weight of her hair. As she walked, she kicked out one leg, pulled the back of her nylon stretch pants up and scratched her ass.

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Judge Bloodstone waited for the automatic doors to slide open before pulling on her surgical gloves and walking over to a shopping cart. Pulling an aerosol can of Lysol from her cargo pocket; she sprayed the handle and then pushed it away. Her first stop for the night were the cleaning supplies; she was running low on everything and wouldn't have enough bleach for her daily cleaning the next morning. She pushed her cart down the aisle and stopped right before all the things she needed. After filling part of her cart with Lysol floor cleaner, Windex with vinegar, Murphy's oil soap, lemon scented bleach, a heavy-duty scrub brush, Clorox orange scented kitchen wipes and various other household cleaners to eradicate disease-carrying germs. Her next stop was the food aisles; she grabbed anything that could be prepared in a matter of minutes with no mess. Moving her below the shoulder length dark hair from her face, she looked up with clear blue eyes when she heard a sound on the shelf above her. What she saw there scared her senseless, all she could do was watch wide eyed as the whipped cream shot from the can and hit her square in the face.

"Gotcha weirdo cleaning lady!" Stewie yelled and jumped down from the shelf to run in the opposite direction. "Smootcher SHE'S HERE!" She screamed throughout the store and came to a screeching halt when Doris, her supervisor stepped in front of her. "But we have lots and lots of work to do." She hid the whipped cream behind her back and side stepped Doris until she was able to escape without her seeing the can.

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Judge pulled a container of hand wipes from her pocket and with shaky hands cleaned the whipped cream from her face and clothes. When she was done, she was close to hyperventilating and falling over onto the floor. "You're clean…no germs…germ free…breathe Judge breathe." She placed both her hands on the shopping carts handle and took deep breaths; she should be used to the ambushes. It happened every time she came into the store; she had thought of coming in during daylight hours but couldn't handle all the people. So she came in at two o'clock in the morning when the store was empty and only the shelf packers were there. The main problem were three tiny little women that made her visits pure Hell, they ambushed her every chance they got and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. She was well known for her problem and it kept her from grabbing one of them and beating the Hell outta them. She pulled her surgical gloves off, replaced them with clean ones and stuffed all her trash into a zip lock bag. "OK you can do this Judge, they only attack you once and then they run off to hide somewhere dark and infested with diseases and insects." She shivered at the thought and pushed her cart to the checkout, the whole way there, she checked for her attackers.

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"Smootcher those are jerky dog treats," Murphy said over her shoulder and then saw that she had four bags of the Ol'Roy jerky treats. "Smootcher, we don't have a dog."

She turned and gave her a roll of brown eyes. "I know that but they're cheaper than the beef jerky things, besides, Stewie doesn't know the difference." She took the bag from the cashier and pocketed the change. "She really likes the turkey flavored ones." She tucked the bag under her arm and kicked Murphy's foot to get her attention. "It's the cleaning lady, the love of your life, the doom of every thing germy and even wrapped in plastic ya ain't gotta chance!" Murphy ran her fingers through her short blonde hair, rubbed her front teeth with her index finger and adjusted her breasts. "Ohh yeah that really made a difference, why not just strip?"

"Shud-up and go hide somewhere, go give Stewie her jerky treats or something." She pushed her away and leaned against the bag holder with a cocky grin plastered on her face. "Aren't you the lucky one tonight, you're the only customer who gets a bag packer?" She winked a green eye and licked her top lip with the tip of her tongue.

"Ohh gee I feel so gifted," she placed her hands at her sides and wiggled her fingers. "Touch me and you're dead, that's d-e-a-d."

"Ohh goody now I can spell three whole words!" She licked her entire hand and grabbed the first item that came down towards her. "Lets see, I can spell d-e-a-d, r-e-t-a-r-d and e-u-t-h-a-n-a-s-i-a." She held up the carton of soymilk and licked the whole side of it before putting it in the bag. "Now if I was to combine those three words in a sentence it would say, 'You want my body!" She jumped forward and humped Judge's leg.

Judge pulled a small can from her pocket and sprayed Murphy with it, she cringed from her scream and once she was free of the humping little retard, she sprayed her leg and the hand that had touched her with Lysol. "Disgusting damn woman, she needs to be locked up somewhere!" She cringed again when two more screams joined Murphy's.

"I'M BLIND!" She stumbled around and fell into Stewie's arms. "She blinded me with mace!"

"Ohh my God…oohh my God!" Smootcher chanted and did her impression of a grieving black woman complete with hysterical tantrum. "Ya hurt my baby…Lord Jesus she's suffering…help her Jesus! She jumped up and down, pulled at her afro, flung her arms around and fell to the floor. "Save her God…she's all I gots…my lil baby…she's an angel…doesn't deserve this!"

Stewie used the front of her shirt to wipe the tears from Murphy's face and kicked out at Judge. "Mean woman, spraying a defenseless tiny little Murphy with Lysol and mace, you've sprayed her so many times there's no way she could have germs ya giant weirdo cleaning lady!" When Judge held up the can of Lysol, with Murphy still in her arms, she jumped backwards, tripped and fell on top of a still tantrum throwing Smootcher.

"You're all freaks, stay away from me or I'll mace all of you!" Judge stuttered and waved the can of mace at them while she pushed her cart away from their tangled squirming bodies. When she was out at her car, she looked around to make sure that she was safe from an ambush and placed all the bags in the trunk. She ran with the cart, shoved it into line with the others and ran back to her old Plymouth Skylark. Unlocking the door, she took one last look around before sliding behind the wheel. She waited for the day that one of the three women would hide in the back seat or jump in front of her car; she knew she would have a heart attack. Fifteen minutes later, she was pulling into her driveway and waiting for the garage door to go up all the way. Pale blue eyes scanned the neat and tidy shelves that lined the garage walls and came back to where a can of car wax sat.

"Ohh now I know damn well that you were clean when I put you there." She forgot all about her groceries and grabbed the can from the shelf, pulled a wet nap from her pocket; cleaned the can and placed it back inside the black circle drawn on the shelves surface. "That's better, must be condensation building up or something." A few minutes later, she had all of her groceries in her kitchen and was in the process of putting them away when she heard the click of toenails on the tiles. She looked down into the deep brown eyes of her Chinese crested dog. "OK Woobie I know you were on my bed, you have the tell tale signs of bed head." She leaned down and tried to fix the grey hair on the side of her little dogs head. "Guess you'll have to stay with the one side of your head flat." She pulled the bag of dog treats down form the counter and held them out. "I got you the bacon flavored ones, all the turkey flavored were gone." She opened the bag, held out two of the jerky treats, and watched her dog trot off into the living room with them. Most people would think that a person with her compulsions for cleaning and germs would not have a pet.

She wasn't like other compulsive people, her dog was cleaner than most humans and she was easier to talk to as well. In fact, the little dog was worse than she was at times; she refused to walk on the ground if it was muddy and wouldn't go outside until her coat was on. With nothing else to do but clean the kitchen counters with Lysol wipes, Judge went into the living room and growled at what she found. "Why are all of your toys and blankets at the laundry room door, I just washed everything two days ago?" She looked with a raised eyebrow at all the chocolate stains on the blankets and then to her dog. "Where did you find candy?" She sighed and slapped her forehead; she had left a bag of peanut M&M's sitting on her nightstand. She always had some kind of chocolate in her bedroom; it was a feel good food and she needed it often. Looking around her pure white sterile environment, she didn't see any little chocolate foot prints. "Ohh you are so lucky," she gave her dog the evil eye. "Because I'm not in the mood to shampoo the rugs, I just want to sit down and relax." She went into her bedroom, flipped the light on and went over to her dresser. Pulling out a pair of PJ's, she then headed to her bathroom.

Flipping on the light, she squinted at the brightness and used a hand to shield her eyes. She placed her PJ's on the glass shelf near the shower, turned on the water and then made sure that the curtain was closed properly. Shedding her clothes, she placed each article in its proper hamper before grabbing a new shower sponge and personal bar of specially hand made sandalwood soap. Her showers always lasted exactly 22 minutes, after shampooing, rinsing, and conditioning and then washing her body twice, she felt clean. Taking the pure white towel from its sanitized paper, she dried off and placed it in the hamper that was strictly for bath towels. Grabbing a squeegee and a small white towel used to polish glass; she cleaned the shower and wiped off the curtain. Next came brushing her teeth and combing out her wet hair, when she turned the light off, her bathroom was cleaner than when she went into it.

"Where are you…you…little bald ass dog?" She wandered around her living room before going into her bedroom, flipping on the light not only did she shield her eyes but so did her dog. The only color in her entire bedroom was the brown leather Traders hat that sat on her dresser. "On my pillow," She pointed and rolled her eyes when her small dog rolled onto her back and kicked her legs. "You better be real glad that I like you." She pulled back the white goose down comforter and slipped between the cool sheets. "Now move your little bald ass before I throw you on the floor."

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A large older black woman with light maroon hair yelled and heard her voice echo throughout the house. "Ohh no they are not, I am gonna tan three asses!" She stomped up the stairs, down the hall and to the last door on her left. "That's enough, get your asses in bed or else!" She walked between each room and waved a pudgy hand in the air. "It's three o'clock in the damn morning and you three imps are making all sorts of damn noise!" She watched her three daughters jump and run around the rooms and hallway before they got into their beds; she wondered sometimes where she went wrong. Out of twelve kids, she had three that she couldn't get rid of. "That's it; tomorrow morning I'm putting the three of you on E-BAY!" She walked into one of the rooms, up to one of the beds and yanked a dog-eared magazine from where it peeked out from under the mattress. "I swear you are worse than all of your brothers," She smacked Murphy over her head with the magazine. "Nudy books hidden all over the damn place."

"Where do ya think we got that big old collection?" She asked and yanked the blankets over her head when mama glared at her.

"And just where do you think I got the money to get you three out of jail, dumb people pay all kinds of money for dirty magazines. Praise the Lord for E-Bay, gonna get me a brand new stove with the latest auction." She grinned and rubbed her fingers together in the international hand signal for money. "One Malibu Barbie, her pink Convertible Corvette gone to some fool in Tuscan Arizona, if she only knew she just paid for my new kitchen and the carpeting in my TV room." She flipped the light off and yelled when she heard snickers. "Shut up Stewie or I'll sell your Bernie Bernard and that goes for you to Smootcher, damn kids." She went down the hall to her own bedroom and rolled her eyes when she heard laughter coming from the other bedrooms. "Retards, just little retarded imps." She draped her pink housecoat over the end of her bed, pulled a flowered shower cap over her hair and crawled into bed. A few minutes later, she was snoring up a storm and in perfect chorus with her kids down the hallway.

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Judge pulled on her charcoal suit jacket and checked her collar in the long mirror by her bedroom door; she checked her belt and then her shoes before leaving the room. "Woobie you behave and don't you dare get into anything, namely my closet." She grabbed her worn leather briefcase, her car keys, and sunglasses and went out the front door. It was close to six in the morning and most of her neighbors were already gone and halfway to work, she was one of the lucky ones and only had a fifteen-minute walk to her office. Her neighbors all worked in Washington DC and she wished that they lived there as well. What used to be nothing but open fields and thick wooded areas were vanishing with each rich asshole that came into West Virginia. They built their 30 room, quadruple garage mansions in the last little bit of Wild Wonderful West Virginia and then complained about the residents that had lived in the area for generations. They clogged the roads with their customized Humvee's and other huge SUV's made by Cadillac and assorted companies. These vehicles tearing around roads built some 70 years or more before hand and not designed for the size of the vehicles caused many accidents; the same went for the parking lots. The blind spots caused even more problems but combined with huge egos of the drivers and disregard for the laws, they became deadly. Or close to it and that was one of the problems that Judge had that day, she had to defend the actions of a small group of people who were chased by an SUV driver. Jogging up the courthouse steps, she went through the door and then turned immediately to her right to go up the stairs to the second level. She hated climbing the stairs, not because of the exercise but because the steps were so narrow, that she had to go up them sideways.

"No germs…no germs…" She chanted on her way to her tiny office and tried to wipe her hand off on her trouser leg and not trip up the stairs. She stopped and pulled her sunglasses down before opening her door and flipping the overhead lights on. Even through her sunglasses it was bright and harsh, she had replaced the small light fixtures with strip lighting and had replaced the bulbs with ones bright enough to give third degree burns. Along with those were smaller blue lights that killed airborne bacteria. "Three cases and you're done for the day…" She pushed her worn leather chair back, checked the seat and then sat down behind her desk. "Take deep breathes and relax nothing can go wrong today because it's Friday." She opened her eyes when her door swung open with a loud squeak.

"It's Friday the 13th every single week where you're concerned," Belinda her secretary said and handed her a stack of file folders wrapped in plastic. "Your first case has been held up and shoved to next Wednesday and I don't envy you one bit for this other one." The older woman snickered and waved a hand at the four-inch thick file. "If I were you, I'd run away…say to maybe another State and give that case to some other lawyer. That family is bad news, always has been always will be."

Judge rubbed her face with her hands and looked up over the top of her fingertips. "What exactly do you mean by bad news, are they like born into the system or something?"

"Ohh worse Judge, far worse than that," she leaned forward and winked. "The system made them what they are." She clicked her tongue, waved a hand and walked from the bright office.

"Just wonderful I would have to go pro bono this week and end up with a one way ticket to hell." She looked up at her secretary with furrowed brows. "Tell me again why I do pro bono cases?"

"You're brain dead and you're too damn tall for me to reach up and slap every time you get the thought in your head."

"Next time just kick me in my ass," she flipped the file open and groaned at all the police reports that fell before her eyes. "How come I get the feeling that they should just be locked up and forgotten?"

"Ohh probably because the two brain cells that those damn lights haven't fried are working." She checked her watch before going to the doorway. "You've got about ten minutes before you have to be in court, if I was you, I'd take a handful of aspirins with a shot of whiskey." She grinned when Judge whimpered and dropped her forehead down onto her desk.

"Why me, I mean I've been good, I've never hurt anyone…OK so maybe a few people but they deserved it and more." She lifted her head and gathered up the items she would need for court, she never really took that much with her. It was more of a power play with the other lawyers to walk in with nothing but her briefcase and a cup of coffee. Most of the time, her briefcase was empty of case files and only held a pair of surgical gloves and little packages of handi wipes. She had a talent of being able to remember every thing she heard or read and was able to spit it back out verbatim. She had pissed off a lot of her professors and other students when she would bring up court cases that would knock their debates off track. She figured that's why they were all debating to begin with; to see who could come up with cases to either make or break the case they were studying.

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Mama D sat fanning herself with a small paper fan; it did nothing for the sweat running down her face or the sweltering heat that seemed to be getting worse. She looked around the room and saw everyone present taking off their coats, unbuttoning shirts and looking to the heat vent that was spewing more hot air. "What the hell is wrong with the bosses in this place are they trying to melt us?" She mumbled and turned her head to see a janitor pushing a huge pedestal fan through the double doors and then making sure that the doors didn't close when he turned the fan on. "About damn time, now if they'd turn the heat off, we might just survive." She looked to her side when she heard the man next to her snicker. "I know I need to loose a few pounds but making me sit in a place hotter than Hell itself ain't gonna do it, if I thought it would, I'd have been sitting my fat ass in the nearest green house years ago." She wiped at her face and blew one of her curls off her forehead.

"Will all stand for the Honorable Judge…Ermine T. Hankins?" The courtroom bailiff yelled and wiped the sweat from his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt; he stepped back when an old decrepit man shuffled in and dropped into his chair.

"Didn't know that he was still breathing, old bastard's been around since the War Between the States." Mama mumbled and fanned herself some more before sitting back down. The judge waved a trembling hand at the bailiff and leaned back in his chair.

"Calling the first case of Whistler Vs the people of Jefferson county West Virginia, will the defendants please stand for the court?" He looked around the courtroom and moaned when he spotted them, he was about to throw something when one of them jumped.

After jabbing her in the ass with a safety pin, Mama hissed in Murphy's ear. "Get your ass up and wake your sisters up!"

"Where's your lawyer?" The judge asked and was about to slam his gavel, when the fan screeched across the floor and their court appointed lawyer came running in.

"Sorry your honor I was given the wrong court room." Judge said and then came to a screeching halt when she saw three sets of familiar eyes looking at her. "Ohhh just throw my ass behind bars."

"What was that Ms. Bloodstone…do I hear contempt of court?" The old man asked and raised his gavel again. "Bailiff, throw Bloodstone in jail!" He slammed his gavel and then leaned forward when the bailiff spoke to him.

"Look Stewie it's the freaky cleaning lady!" Smootcher yelled and then grunted when mama smacked her in the back of her head with her umbrella.

"Shut up before I gotta bail your asses out again, now behave or I'll beat your ass's right here in front of every one." She hissed and smacked all three of them before they could do anything.

Judge looked to the judge, opened her mouth and before she could say one word, the bailiff waved her off. "State your case Bloodstone I ain't got all day!"

"Sir I haven't spoken to my clients, I would like a recess…" She looked to the three women with a terrified gleam in her eyes.

"Throw her in jail…" He yelled again and leaned over to the bailiff. "Proceed and make it snappy, no recess are they guilty or not?"

"Not guilty sir…"

"Be back here in one week…month see someone about that!" He got up and shuffled from the courtroom leaving everyone to jump up and wonder what was going on.

"Ms. Bloodstone if you'll see the court clerk she'll give you the new court date." The bailiff said and then walked to the other side of the courtroom to disappear through another door. Murphy looked to her mama and then to Judge.

"You're a lawyer…worse, you're our lawyer?"

Judge raised one dark eyebrow and pointed a finger. "Not any more, I quit, there is no way in Hell that I'll represent the three of you!" She walked away and went past the fan only to hear her name called by the bailiff. "Life sucks and then they appear and make it worse." She said to herself and turned to see what the bailiff wanted.

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"What did you three do to that lady lawyer?" Mama D asked them once they were outside of the courthouse.

"She's the freaky cleaning lady that comes into the store at like two or three o'clock in the morning." Stewie answered and then looked to Smootcher.

"She's the one that Murphy humps her leg all the time and then she sprays us with mace."

"And Lysol, breath spray or what ever she happens to have in her hand at the time, I don't care though," She gave her mama a bright smile. "She's a hotty!" Murphy grinned like a lunatic.

Mama D smacked her in the side of her head and pointed a finger at the other two. "I think you three do more than hump her leg, that woman would rather go to jail then represent you!"

"We ahhh…" Stewie swallowed deeply and tried to look at her mama but couldn't. "It's all Murphy…she does everything!" She yelled and ran off towards their car and then went right past it to keep running down the sidewalk towards home.

"She's such a retard," Mama mumbled and swung her umbrella at her other two kids. "Who dropped her on her head more, me or one of you two?"

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Judge stood in the hallway that led to the judges chambers; she leaned against the wall and waited for the bailiff to join her. She wondered what she had done wrong this time to be called in the back hallway and sighed when the bailiff gave her a small smile. "Sorry about that Judge, the old man is off his damn rocker again this morning. I talked to the court clerk and you've got a few days before you appear before Judge Johnson."

"Thanks, what was he doing on the bench anyways; I thought they put him in a home?"

"They did but he keeps escaping…with the help of the other old people. Now I have to find out what happened to Judge Hawthorne, he was supposed to be on the bench this morning." He rubbed his face and looked up at her, he knew about her problems but it didn't take away from the type of person or lawyer she was. She was ruthless when needed and compassionate when it called for it; he just wished that she would take the Judgeship that was open. "I wish you would put the damn robe on, my life would be easier if you did."

"And my life would be pure Hell," she squeezed his shoulder and moved away from the wall. "Send someone over to the casino, they'll find Jonathon playing the nickel slots on the second floor."

"See that you made part of my morning easier already, just wish it was an all day thing." He said, gave her a small wave and headed to the clerks office.

"That was my good deed for the week," she rubbed her face and looked down the hall towards the side exit door. "Now why in the Hell did I get stuck with the Whistlers case, is this a way of telling me that I'm going to Hell in a hand basket?" She left the building and was on her way to the front where she hoped that she could catch up with the three women, what she wasn't expecting was to see mama D with Smootcher and Murphy in head locks and dragging them down the sidewalk. "Wait I need to talk to them!" She yelled and ran after mama. "Please ma'am I really need to talk to those two if I'm to defend them." Judge felt small when she finally caught up with mama and her two defendants, the woman was almost as tall as her own six foot height but she had to weigh close to 300 pounds. Her eyes blinked behind black rimmed glasses and maroon curls fell around her round sweaty face.

"I think you should just let that old geezer toss them in jail, I've tried everything I can think of and they're still bad!" She shook them where they hung under her massive arms and grinned when she heard whimpering murmurs. "I've got them up for bid on E-Bay, if we're all lucky, maybe some idiot will buy all three of 'em!" She gave Judge a wink. "Used sex slaves, ten bucks a piece or all three for $25.00."

"I ain't no sex slave!" Murphy yelled and fell to her knees in front of Judge. "But I'll be one if you buy me," she gazed up into pale blue eyes, pulled a twenty dollar bill from her pocket and handed it to her mama. "Here mama she just bought me."

"See what I mean," mama smacked her on her head and then released Smootcher. "I shoulda paddled the three of 'em more when they were babies, now you apologize for being such an ass."

Judge looked down at the two bowed heads and then saw devilish grins on their faces. "If you would all like to come up to my office so I can get the details and your side of the incident with this Humvee." She looked around them and moaned. "Where's the other one, I'm one trouble maker short."

"Stewie ran home before I could kick her ass, if you want, you can come over to the house and talk to them." She pushed Murphy and Smootcher towards their car. "I can control them better at home; I don't get screams of disbelief when I pull out the duct tape there." She handed a shocked Judge a business card and waddled to her old Buick station wagon. "By the time you get there I'll have lunch made." After she climbed in, Judge seen two bodies crawl over the back seat to sit at the very back of the station wagon; she wondered why and then saw tennis balls fly from the front to bounce off the rear window.

"Go over to their house so they can tie me up and lock me in a basement for the rest of my life?" She shrugged her shoulders and headed down the sidewalk to where she parked her car. "I don't have anything better to do and who would miss me besides my dog?" She looked down at the address on the business card and grinned. "Mama D's house of junk, you need it, I got it. Well that's nice; I'm going to the city dump for lunch." She shivered with the thought and wondered if she could get mugged and knocked into a coma so she wouldn't have to go.

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Mama used a huge metal flipper to flip the hamburgers on the griddle, after she flipped them; she placed a thick slice of cheddar cheese on top to melt. She turned to the long scared wooden kitchen table to slice tomatoes and onions and heard the front doorbell. It had to be her kids lawyer because any one else would just come right into the house. Wiping her hands on an old threadbare hand towel, she waddled towards the front door and saw the tall dark woman fidgeting on the stoop. "You look like you're about to have a heart attack, ya know the black folks around here won't attack you." She opened the door and held it open for her. "Come on in here before my hamburgers burn." She walked back to the kitchen and heard the soft hesitant footfalls behind her. "The Ritalin kids are outback getting rid of some left over energy, they're usually in bed at this time." She looked to a frustrated and shaking Judge and waved a hand at a heavy wooden kitchen chair. "Have a seat and don't worry I spent 20 years as a cleaning lady at the High School, my house can't get any cleaner." She handed Judge a tall glass of iced tea and a napkin. "Now tell me how the DA of Jefferson county managed to get my kids case?" She placed all the hamburgers on a large platter, placed it in the center of the table and then dropped a fry basket filled with French fries down into hot oil. `

"I do a couple pro bono cases a month…you said kids, how can that be?"

"You mean the two pasty brats; I adopted them when they were babies. Now back to their case, ya know they're innocent and I ain't sayin that because they're my kids, I saw the whole damn thing from the front doors of Wal-Mart."

Judge looked around the bright airy kitchen and noticed all the hand made pictures that hung on the refrigerator and the wall next to it. "How many grandkids do you have, it'll help me to understand your family and help with their case."

"I've got twelve adopted kids, 31 grandkids and four great grandkids. The only three that haven't given me any is the three retards out back." She went to the backdoor and whistled so loud that Judge flinched. "You got any kids?"

"Me, no I don't have any kids and probably never will. Now about the accident, how exactly did it happen, the police report reads like a comedy sketch?"

Mama waved a pudgy hand at her to join her by the back door. "Now look out there and tell me why it wouldn't read like that and I know all about how they treat you at the store so put that into account as well." Judge stood up and joined her at the back door, she watched as the three women jumped on a trampoline and then smashed against each other in mid air. They fell into a heap and then off onto the ground to roll around moaning and groaning. "Now tell me why the cop wouldn't be all confused when he was making out the report, I tried to tell him but a hysterical black woman isn't much better."

Judge watched as they each got up and started slapping at each other; another whistle had both them and Judge jumping. They came running towards the door, stopped and pulled off their shoes before running past the two women. "They act like little kids here as well as at Wal-Mart," she lowered her voice to a whisper. "Are they mentally challenged; if they are the court case could…"

Mama busted up laughing and placed her hand on Judge's shoulder. "Nope not at all, they're quite normal and sorta sane, so that leaves just plain stupid for the way they act." She pointed to the chair Judge had been sitting in and then placed a paper plate in front of her. "Go ahead and get a burger and what ever else ya want before my kids get in here," she shook the fries of extra grease and dumped them into a huge basket lined with paper towels before putting it on the table.

***********

Murphy crawled on Smootcher's back and tried to look in the mirror; she slid off and landed on her ass in the middle of the bathroom floor. "Ohh come on I gotta make sure I look good for my woman!" She yelled and pushed between her sisters but still couldn't see her reflection.

"She's here ta see me!" Smootcher yelled and hip checked Murphy and Stewie all the way out into the hallway. "After all, I gots the booty ta last all night."

"And break bones, I think my hips broke." Stewie whined and whimpered until Murphy helped her up from the floor. "She might be here ta see me, remember I'm the romantic one, I use whipped cream." She wiped her hands on the front of Murphy's t-shirt and grinned. "I'll share if ya bring the cherries."

"I got ice cream," Smootcher said and dragged them both towards the kitchen. "We'll make her a big sundae!"

"You'll sit your asses down and act halfway human!" Mama said and raised a flyswatter over her head. "Now sit and behave your damn selves or else." They grabbed food from the plates like starving animals until they each got smacked on top of their heads with the flyswatter. Judge had seen such behavior in only the movies; it reminded her of Animal house or Revenge of the Nerds. With each bite of her hamburger, she wiped her mouth. With the three retards, they were lucky to get the food into their mouths. She sat in aghast when Murphy leaned sideways and took a bite of her hamburger and Smootcher stole pickles from Stewie's plate. "Charming ain't they, wouldn't ya like to take them to a fancy restaurant?"

"Only if I wanted to get kicked out and banned for the rest of my life." Judge answered and ignored the way Murphy was licking her fingers and eyeing her. She took a drink of her iced tea and choked when something touched her crotch; she covered her mouth with her napkin and felt tears come to her eyes. Choking made the burn in her sinuses worse and was thankful when mama pounded her on the back.

"Don't go dying at my table, the neighbors will talk and then I'll never get into that country club." Judge set her hamburger down and wiped at her eyes, she took a deep shuddering breath and was grateful that it didn't burn. "I'm making a pot of coffee, you want some?" She asked but never paid attention to what anyone said, it was just her way, she always asked but could care less the answers she received. Judge jumped in her chair and grabbed at her glass before it could fall over, she gave Murphy a glare and snarled at her. "Murphy leave her alone and eat your own food before I beat your ass!"

"Wasn't me mama it was that damn dog." Murphy said around a mouthful of Judge's hamburger. "You know how she gets around strangers?"

"I know that I'm not senile and that we don't have a dog with the exception of you, now keep your hands and feet to yourself." She threw her dishtowel at her and pointed a finger at the other two. "That goes for anything you two were thinking as well, now eat or go outside."

"I really need to know about the accident with the SUV." Judge stated once again and grimaced when Stewie looked to her with mustard and mayonnaise all over her face.

"That crazy bitch tried ta kill us!" Smootcher cried out and waved her ketchup-covered hands all over the place. "Smash us to pieces in front of our mama!" Murphy slapped a hand over her mouth while Stewie grabbed her hands.

"I'll tell ya what happened," Stewie said and launched into her story. "It all started out when we was out in the parking lot, it was cold and dreary, our fingers and toes turning blue from the cold, not like we could actually see if they was blue but ya know what they say about them turning that color when it's cold outside. I asked Murph if she'd take her shoes off so I could see but she said she'd shove her foot up my ass so I forgot about it. And then Smoot said she'd kick my ass to if I didn't get the carts moving up towards the store, I said she could kiss my ass…" She mumbled behind Smootcher's hand and waved her arms.

"We'll be here until we need wheelchairs if ya let her tell our story," Murphy struggled with her sister and pushed her to the floor so Smoot could sit on her. "Now where were we?" She wiggled her brows and winked at Judge while licking her upper lip. "We were pushing around 50 shopping carts up towards the storage area and I was discussing my ways of seduction when Smoot said I was crazier than Hell. So I stopped and was showing her how I was gonna seduce you and hump your leg the next time ya came in the store." She stuck her tongue out and did things that brought a deep blush up Judge's cheeks and a yell from her mama. "Any who's it, this huge ass Humvee pulls up and starts honking the horn. Of course, we flip the driver off and keep on talking and then we notice that the lights are flashing at us and the horn keeps on honking. We thought the damn alarm was going off, so we ignored it just like we always do when car alarms go off." She yelped and looked to her mama and the French fry that she had thrown at her. "What…"

Mama threw a towel at her. "I'm getting older by the second, get to the damn point!"

OK, well the idiot drivin that big ass thing revved the engine and came tearing right at us! We jumped and ran around in circles screamin like little girls, cuz we thought it was gonna get us, ya know like the car in the movie Christine. So we jumped on the string of carts and that thing hit them!" She punctuated it by slapping her hands together and elbowing her sister and Judge at the same time. "Carts went everywhere with us on top screamin our heads off and mama watching from the door. We thought we were road kill until the carts stopped," She scooted closer to Judge and leaned into her side. "Ya know what a sexual high ya get when ya think you're gonna die a virgin?"

Stewie and Smootcher covered their mouths, coughed out the word "Bullshit!" and then snickered at the expression on Judge's face.

"Shud-up dipshits…where was I," she ran her hand up Judge's thigh and watched her neck turn a dark red. "Ohhhh yeah about me being a virgin, wanna deflower me…" Were the last words she said after mama hit her square between the eyes with a tennis ball and knocked her right over in her chair.

"Damn I'm good," Mama punched a meaty hand in the air and then pointed to her other two kids. "Haul her ass to bed; she's done for the day." She gave Judge a bright smile and handed her a cup of coffee. "I'll finish the story so you can go home and do your paperwork or what ever it is that ya need ta do. Now after the Humvee hit the carts and they went all over the place, it kept hitting them until they got to the ones that my kids were hanging onto. It hit the one that Murphy was on so hard that she flew up onto the hood and smashed the windshield. After seeing that, Smootcher and Stewie jumped on the thing and started beating on the hood and roof, that's when the cops showed up."

"And the idiot in the Humvee is bringing charges against your kids for this when they in fact are guilty of attempted vehicular homicide among a half dozen other things?" Judge asked and shook her head. "So what was the original reason for this person hitting the carts?"

Mama leaned over the table and held her pale blue eyes. "The asshole wanted to park in the handicap spot and the carts and my kids were in the way."

Judge shook her head in total disgust, she would not only win this case, she was going to go after the other person. "Don't worry; I'll make sure that nothing happens to them." She got up from the table and reached a hand out to mama. "I'll be in touch before the court hearing and if I can swing it, I'll get the charges dropped all together." She went to the front door and let herself out, once on the sidewalk, she took a deep breath and looked around the quiet neighborhood and then upward towards the second floor windows. There was Stewie and Smootcher blowing her kisses and waving.

***********

Judge looked around her house and then pulled on her goggles and facemask, flipping the switch on for the giant shop-vac; she started vacuuming the ceiling of all imaginary dirt. The sound of the vacuum drowned out her stereo and TV that were both blasting the news. One of her other strange compulsions was to know what was going on around the world, not like she could help in any way but she figured that if anything horrible was heading her way, she could run and hide. She would be the first to admit that she was a huge lily livered, yellow stripe up the back dog. She had her times with facing danger years earlier but that time was done and over with. She wished that she could forget what happened then as well as erase everyone else's memory of the happening also.

In her nightmares, she still felt the darkness and heard her own screams from inside her car where she was trapped. She had been a defense attorney for a short while and had gotten stuck with a bad case where she had to defend a local mushroom farmer who had been caught growing peyote buttons among his puffer and shitake mushrooms. He wouldn't have been caught but the police chief's son had come home stoned off his gourd and carrying a bag of the buttons. With in an hour, police surrounded the farmers place and a DEA agent came in to collect the illegal mushrooms. What made it worse was the redneck farmer trying to convince the officers that by religious beliefs, he had a right to grow the buttons. The only problem was that he said that he was Chief Pocahontas of the Tahoe tribe. Needless to mention but the police dragged him by force from his farm and tossed him in jail until his hearing.

When Judge had lost the case and her client was fined an astronomical fine in his eyes, he retaliated by catching her in the courthouse parking lot, blocking her in and then dumping an entire dump truck load of cow dung mixed in straw on her small convertible Miata car. Once found, it took the fire department a good hour to dig her car out. They ended up sedating her, hauling her away in the ambulance and then to City hospital where she stayed in the nutward for three months. No matter what the doctors tried, she still came out with psychological problems. They all surrounded the need to be clean, who could blame her for that kind of thinking after being buried in cow shit. Even now, she had to live with the teasing and finding steer horns mounted to the hood of her car or little cows glued on as hood ornaments. She had even come home to find cattle crossing signs in her front yard along with a life size plastic Elsa the milk cow on her doorstep. Sighing and letting her arms drop to her sides and the vacuum hose fall to the floor, she dropped onto her couch and shivered with memories. When she heard her telephone ring, she flew off the couch and calmed until she heard the voice speaking on the other end.

"GOT MILK?"

"NO but I got a big gun to shoot you in the ass with!" She screamed back and jumped up and down in the middle of the floor. "Useless cow fucking assholes! May all your chicken eggs be fertile and your milk run sour in the jug!" She ran in a circle three times and then spit over her left shoulder to bring about the family curse. She didn't really believe in curses but it made her feel better that she yelled one out at the tops of her lungs.

************

Murphy peeked from her hiding spot, keyed her Uniden 2-way radio and heard Smootcher snicker, give her an all clear and then give out a rebel yell and charge. Murphy jumped up and tried to duck but red paintballs that splattered all around her head before she could move. "Bitch you cheated!" Murphy said over the radio and then asked where their sister was.

"No idea, I think she's going for the kill though, I heard her humming the Rocky song."

"But we ain't boxing today why the Hell she humming that song?"

"No, the theme song from Rocky and Bullwinkle, geez you're such a blonde!" Smootcher looked around and then ran out from her hiding spot to then slide on her knees and stop beside Murphy. "So what we gonna do if she gets the flag, we gonna beat her up and take it?"

"Ohhh I see how ya are," Murphy said and wiped the paint from the protective shield she wore. "Ya put in some pot shots, see that we're close to losing to the twerp so now ya wanna join forces."

"Of course, ya think I'm a complete moron?" They snickered and grinned at each other before they ran from their hiding spot screaming at the tops of their lungs. They stopped and looked to the ceiling when a screech came over the PA system.

"I gots the flag ya retards!" Stewie said, waved a pair of huge ass grandma underwear over her head and then launched into her victory song that had everyone in the store cringing and the two losers looking out for trouble that always seemed to follow them.

It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're animan-iacs

Come join the Warner brothers
And the Warner sister, Dot
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot
They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose
And now you know the plot

We're animaniacs
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks
Wakko packs away the snacks
While Bill Clinton plays the sax
We're Animaniacs

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe
Good Feathers flock together; Slappy whacks 'em with her purse
Buttons chases Mindy while Rita sings a verse
The writers flipped we have no script why bother to rehearse

We're animaniacs
We have pay or play contracts
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks
We're animany
Totally insaney
Here's the shows name-y Stewie winnies

Animaniacs
Those are the facts.

Murphy and Smootcher dropped to the floor when they heard Stewie scream out over the PA and then their supervisor's voice apologizing to all the Wal-Mart shoppers and assuring them that the culprit did not work there and would be medicated and hauled back to the hospital. The other two looked to each other and then took off running towards the Lay-Away-Department to save their sister.

**********

Judge looked at her watch, saw the time and rushed to her front door. She was going to be late for her weekly visit to Wal-Mart; she was always there at three AM no matter what. After she was finished cleaning her house and getting files ready for court, she took her daily nap and was ready for the rest of the early morning. This wasn't only a run for food and cleaning supplies, she needed to ask the three trouble makers questions about their case. What she hoped was still in the security office was the tape from the night of the SUV case, if she could get that, she would have it placed in as evidence to whom was at fault and get the charges dropped and then turn around and file charges against the other person. Jumping into her car, she pulled out into the road and punched the gas pedal to the floor. At the time of the morning that it was, she knew she was safe from the police because they were all parked in the 7-11 parking lots taking their naps.

A few minutes went by before she made her right turn into the parking lot, as she drove to the top of the spaces; she noticed all the handicap spots were filled. "And how many of you people are legal?" She asked herself and looked at the license plates as she drove by. "Better yet, why the fuck do you people from outta state hafta shop here; stay in your own fucking state and leave us alone!" She screamed and then parked her car a short ways from the front doors. "God damn people drive 25 miles or more to come and clog up our roads and park ILEGALLY!" She saw that none of the cars in the handicap spots had the special tags or the license plate that gave them legal rights to park in the spots. "Of course no one will say or do a damn thing about this because the cops are all sleeping and besides who cares, it's three am in the morning!" She ranted to herself all the way to the doors and continued to rant under her breath; she turned when she heard a deep voice and rolled her eyes.

"Ohhh how wrong you are, I'm gonna take care of those lying creeps right now and be glad you're not parked in the fire lane." The Auxiliary Sheriff said as he smoothed down his dark mustache and spun his nightstick between his fingers. "That's one of my pet peeves, no one is allowed in the fire lane!" He yelled and marched towards his cruiser where a bullhorn sat on the trunk, in a split second; he had the horn up to his mouth and was yelling at the tops of his lungs through it. What amazed Judge was the shattering of the windows of the car that was parked in the fire lane.

"So glad that I'm a law abiding citizen, I can't afford to replace windows in my car let alone pay the damn ticket." She shook her head and went through the door. "Laziness does not pay, you get fat and then ya have to pay tickets because your ass is too big to haul from a parking space a few feet away from the handicap one." She grabbed the end of a cart and saw mama D marching to where the electric carts were stored against a wall.

"Now you listen here you lazy ass whore!" She yelled and grabbed the front of the small cart to keep the other woman from moving it. "I see you hauling your ass over to the casino every day and then to Golden Coral to give the cops in the parking lot blow jobs with no problem, now you come in here and you're gonna use the cripple cart…GET YOUR LAZY ASS OFF!"

"Where do you get off saying anything to me you lard ass bitch!?" The other woman yelled back at mama D and waved a fist at her for good measure before trying to make the cart move.

"For the simple fact that my four hundred pounds of ass and tits doesn't need this little cart and neither do you, now get off and leave it for someone who really needs it and if you won't move…I'LL RIP YOUR ARMS OFF!" She shook the cart so hard that the other woman fell off and crawled away from her while screaming for security. "I am security you lazy bitch, now get outta my area or I'll sit on ya!" She pushed the cart back against the wall and plugged it back into the charging unit. "God damn lazy ass people won't even walk on the legs they was born with, if I can haul all my weight around then so can they." She mumbled and then turned when she heard a deep voice chuckle. "Hey Judge come to get abused by my kids?"

"No I came for my weekly shopping excursion," she whispered low so that the other customers walking past couldn't hear. "They're not gonna attack me like all the other times are they…because I need to ask them some more questions and it'll be difficult if I have to run through the store?"

"I don't think you'll have any problems, Stewie got her ass in trouble earlier and that's why I'm here." She took Judge by her elbow and moved her out of the doorway. "It's the same as when they were still in school, they get in trouble and I get a phone call."

"Sounds like they should be put on Ritalin, they're all a little too old to still have their mom called to bail them out."

Mama D smiled and slapped at Judge's arm. "Hell those three keep me young, how many women you know that are in their 70's and still running around like me?"

Judge was shocked, she was usually pretty good at guessing ages but had no idea mama D was in her 70's, she shook her head and gave her a small grin. "Will it do the same thing for me, some nights I feel like I should be in an old ladies home?"

"You need ta get out more, have some fun, and stop cleaning your house every night. Those cleaning fumes will kill ya, you're neighbors wear oxygen masks because the fumes are getting ta them." She gave her a hip check and almost knocked her across the store. "That's right Judge Bloodstone; I know your neighbors and everything about you."

"Who doesn't know about me, I'm kinda infamous around here." She hated the thought that everyone knew about her run in with the farmer. "I hope that's forgotten in the next century or so, I feel like I should be spokesman for the Cattle association or something." She saw the confused look on mama D's face. "Some kind hearted soul has paid for a lifetime of cow magazines, if it's got a cow on the cover or in the title, I get it. Did you know that calves know their mother by scent, I thought all cows smelled the same?"

***************************

"Ohhhh look Murph," Smootcher waved a CD above her head and then tossed it to her sister. "Usher's new one," she looked around and then grinned when she saw that they were the only ones in the electronic department. "Put it in the huge ass system!" She jumped up and down and then grabbed her chest in pain. "Damn under wire shit, remind me ta toss this damn bra when we get home."

"Why do I gotta remind you about your bra…wait a minute…you're wearing my underwear aren't cha?"

"You know anyone else that has the damn things in our house; still don't know why ya get the wire ones?"

Murphy placed the CD in the sound system and then turned with a hand raised out in front of her. "I get great antennae reception when I wear 'em and keep your paws outta my under…wear!" She felt her face turn a deep red when she saw an unmistakable dark head above the shelves and just hoped that she didn't hear her, a gleaming smile came over her face when she heard the lawyer's deep rich voice and then shivered when she heard her mama's. "Damn mama got her that means I can't be…Oohhh yes I can be bad." She crawled up on top of the counter, winked at Smootcher and waited for Judge to look over at her. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, as soon as her favorite song started, Judge turned to look her right in the eye. She stepped slowly to the edge of the counter and pointed a finger at her.

"Hey!
I feel like I just blow on up
Anytime I could just lose control, caught up
In your lovin' every time I feel your touch
Second thoughts more doubts started buildin' up
You're everything I wanted
Before I knew just what I wanted
And hey, hey
You're killin' me on the inside
And you're the only one I want
I can't deny

Don't know what to do
What to say
I'm not sure what to tell you
Confused, which way do I
Take your hand or let go (do I)
Take your hand or let it go (I can't)
Take this feelin' much more (do I)
Take your hand or let go (go)
Don't know what to do
What to say
I'm not sure what to tell you
Confused, which way do I go

Hey
I feel like I just blow on up
Every time I feel your love
I get so caught up
It's your kissin', your touch
It's just everything
But I'm feelin' like I wanna just run away
I'm here to tell you what I want
But you're everything I want
And hey, hey
It's killin' me on the inside
Cuz you're all I ever wanted
So I can't deny…"

Then, her singing career came to a stop when Smootcher knocked her off the counter and then came to land at her mama's feet.

"Hi ya mama, wanna sing back-up for me?"

Mama reached down, yanked her to her feet and slapped her on top of her head. "Stop acting like an asshole and turn that damn thing down before you get in trouble…again."

"And just how am I supposed to capture Judge's heart if ya won't let me serenade her?"

"Pick a different song and learning how to sing would really help." Smootcher whispered in her ear and then sided up alongside Judge. "I'll sing for ya, everyone knows all black women can sing."

"Bullshit!" Murphy yelled and crawled on her sisters back. "She can't dance either, only black woman I know that ain't got no damn rhythm."

Judge rubbed her jaw and looked between the three women; it sure looked like she wasn't going to get the information she needed. "Uhhmm…I'll leave you three to what ever it is that you guys are doing and I'm going to do my shopping." She walked away and was down an isle adjacent to where she was when she felt something touching her thighs and then her one leg grew heavy from Murphy wrapping herself around it.

"I'll do and be anything you want, just take me home and make me your sex slave."

"How about if I slap the shit outta you and then," she pulled a small can of Lysol from her coat pocket and waved it over Murphy's head. "Give you the royal spray down?" Her eyes turned silver with panic when Murphy smiled up at her and then scratched the inside of her thigh with her nails.

"Ohhh come on Judge, I know you want me in ways other than to spray me down with Lysol." She scratched along the inside seam of Judge's Levis and stood to her full five foot five height. "Go out with me just once, I promise no funny stuff and I'll even meet you at any restaurant ya want." She raised her hands to grip Judges much larger hands in hers and gazed into light blue eyes. "I can be charming and intelligent when I wanna be and we can discuss my case without my sisters acting like animals."

"And why would I want to go out with you, I don't like going out to eat…there's germs and…"

"Stop being such a wimp and using your CID or whatever it is as an excuse, I know you're tougher than you want everyone ta believe. Plus I know that you eat out on occasion, mama has spies everywhere and if ya want I can tell ya what color underwear ya got on."

"Murphy, I'm not gay so that means that the two of us going out wouldn't mean a damn thing in either one of our books and you can come to my office to discuss your case." She pulled her hands free and walked away, biting at her bottom lip; she fought back the feeling of being struck by lightning for lying.

Murphy was one to never give up; she jogged after the taller woman and jumped on the front of her cart. "Ya know what Bloodstone, ya can't lie for shit and I know for a fact that you're family. Your college 'room mate' has a huge ass mouth and blabbed for hours about your sexual hungers," she wiggled her brows and licked her upper lip. "I've been known to be quite adventuress in my sexual encounters, even ended up in the ICU a couple of times." She snickered at the pale shade that Judge turned and then pointed at her. "Can't run or hide from Murphy Whistler, I'm the best there ever will be at snooping, so meet me at Ruby Tuesdays at seven o'clock tomorrow night and if ya ain't there then I'll drag you outta your house." She launched off the front of the cart and went running towards the back of the store where Stewie was being kept against her will.

*************

"And ta think that you're family, I knew ya was a mean old bitch but this really out does my nightmares!" Stewie yelled from where she was duct taped to one of the steel pillars near the back of the store. "You're a wicked wicked aunt and I don't like ya!"

"Well I don't like ya none either," Doris said and snapped her gum. "Damn shame we can't pick our relatives, if we could, I'd toss your ass back and pick again." She walked away and wiggled to get the spandex resettled around her large ass. "Ain't a single relative besides myself that ain't a little off in the head, gotta be the home brew destroying the gene pool or maybe the incest."

"Eeewww…I don't wanna know anything about that stuff…might be true!" She yelled back and tried to wiggle free of her restraints.

"I can't believe that she's kept you taped to that pole or that she was able to do it in the first place," Murphy snickered and pulled a lock blade from her back pocket. "Hold still and I'll cut ya loose, ya know mama's here?"

"She got me from behind with a Wal-mart bag, pulled it right over my head and it was history for me." She took a deep breath and grinned widely with the news. "So mama's here ta escort us home huh?" She sighed when the tape around her chest fell away and allowed her to breath easier.

"Yep, the big gun is here." The last of the tape was cut away and Stewie was free to dance around in circles.

"Mama owes me ice cream; I lasted four hours here before I got in trouble!" She went skipping through the store in search of mama so she could collect her prize.

*************

Smootcher pulled the three heavy black canvas bags from inside the station wagon, tossed them into a cart and then pushed it towards the stores front doors. She should have known that mama just didn't happen to drop by for the Hell of it and that she was there on a mission of no good for three of her kids. "Just couldn't wait until tomorrow could ya Dodger, just had to interrupt our productive night at work?" She pushed the cart through the doors and was on her way to the employee locker room when she saw Judge searching through the underwear bin, she just couldn't help herself. "So are ya getting my favorite French cut silky panties or are ya turning into the freaky conservative plain old boring cotton type?" She looked under Judge's arm and snickered when she saw that she was holding two pairs of plain white conservative underwear.

"Isn't that mama calling you?" She pointed to where she could see mama D coming towards them and snickered when Smootcher whimpered and pushed her cart to where her sisters and mama were waiting. "Damn freaky women and their underwear fetishes, how can all three of them be that way?" She mumbled to herself and tossed the plain underwear back into the bin. "They even know what kind I have on today." She had almost fallen over earlier when Murphy announced over the PA system that she had won a bet because a certain customer was wearing a royal blue Victoria Secret thong. "Wish I knew how she knows what thong I have on, it's not like I'm wearing white pants or anything." She looked down just to make sure that she wasn't and then checked to make sure that her G-string wasn't showing above her waistband.

**************

Murphy pulled on her black windbreaker and looked up when Stewie called her name. "How'd ya know she had the blue thong on?"

"Checked her diary before we came in, she's gotta get a firewall for her PC, I mean we've got all her checking and savings account transactions for the last month and she really needs to turn her PC off when she's not using it." Since Judge had come into their lives a few short days ago, they had been busy getting as much information as they could on the attorney. It wasn't that they didn't trust her abilities to represent them, it was a hobby of theirs not to mention they were just plain nosy. Murphy was hoping to talk to Judge about some of the information they were able to pull up on the internet, such as getting into her checking account by hacking into her personal computer files. "Ya know she spent fifty bucks at Victoria's Secret the other day, she got some of those fancy angel underwears!"

Two sets of eyes looked to her and then ear to ear grins blossomed on their faces. "Did she get the baby blue ones that match her eyes?" Stewie asked and then fell to her knees and put her hands up in prayer. "Please let it be the blue ones, I'll be good fer the rest of the night if ya make 'em baby blue!"

"Why, you ain't ever gonna see 'em." Smootcher said and pushed her over. "Only one who has half a chance is an egotistical asshole." She pulled her matching black windbreaker on and lifted her black canvas bag up in one hand while pulling Stewie to her feet with the other. "Come on moron we got work ta do," she looked to Murphy with raised brows. "Did mama have our truck delivered or do we gotta go in her dork mobile?"

Murphy wiggled her keys and watched her sister's punch hands in the air and jump around like idiots. "But I think she did something to it…my keychain smells funny."

"Uhhmm…Murph your keychain is rubber, so that means it smells like rubber." She shook her head and mumbled. "Blondes will be the death of my last gay nerve...my keychain smells funny." She mimicked Murphy and then stuck her tongue out at her when she growled.

"Well it does smell funny…not like the usual rubber smell, it's more," she took a deep breath, held it for a while and then weaved before falling back down into the chair behind her. "Dude the rooms spinning!"

**************

Judge sat down at her PC and pulled up the program that she used for her daily diary, scanning down to her last entry, she started typing about her waking hours like a mad woman. Halfway through, she came to the area where Murphy won her stupid bet, she had mauled over every way possible as to how the small blonde could have known about her g-string. "Had to be a lucky guess," she glanced to her window and saw that the drapes were open and anyone could see inside to her office. "Peepers! They're peeping morons!" She jumped up, dropped the blinds and then pulled the drapes all the way closed before she felt safe enough to go back and finish typing. "Spying in on me and seeing what I'm writing…" she rubbed her tired eyes and sighed. "How can anyone see what I'm typing, unless they're using binoculars!" She closed down her PC and leaned back in her office chair until the screen went to black, pulling her plastic cover over the monitor and then the keyboard; she got up from her chair and made sure that the wheels went back into the indentations in the carpet. "I'll think about this later, I'm warn out and I have an early court case…I'm loosing it, I'm talking to myself." She looked around for her dog and finally found her lying on her back right in the middle of her bed pillow. "That is my pillow you have you bald body all over." She sighed and crawled across the bed to fall face first into her spare pillow.

************

Smootcher bobbed and bounced in the driver's seat with Stewie doing the exact same thing in the shotgun position. Murphy leaned up between the seats and looked to each one of them with narrowed eyes. "Why are you two humming?"

"Cuz we don't know all the words." Stewie replied and then sang what words they did know. "Feelings…nana nana, feelings…nana owww!" She slapped at the hands that were trying to throttle her. "Stop or I'll sing one I do know…On the Love Boat…nana."

Smootcher started tapping on the steering wheel and then drew Murphy's attention away from her sister. "I like big butts…little hairy mutts, my sisters a slut and please don't smack me I'm tryin ta drive!"

"Ya know if I could have you both locked up I might just have a chance at having a halfway normal adult life…with a girlfriend that doesn't need blown up or bandaged with pool patches."

"At least she doesn't complain about you being a complete slob and wearing those nasty shorts with the ass all torn outta 'em."

"But they're comfortable and thank the all forgiving God of tongues Gene Simons you two could care less about my fantastic tight buns of steel." Murphy sat back in her seat and thought about the fact that they had a blow up doll in their part of the house and she was a close to a girlfriend that any of them had. "You guys realize that even our pointy headed black as coal brother Jay has a wife and a girlfriend and we ain't got anyone." She tilted her head back and hit the steel wall behind her; it was then that she noticed something about the windows in the truck. "We didn't have curtains in here before did we?"

"What in the Hell are you talking about," Stewie tried to look around the seat and fell across the console. "Ohh what in the Hell…mama put frilly curtains in our truck!"

"See I told you guys she did something," she slid the window back and tried to see if mama had done anything back in the cage as well. "Now why do ya think she did that?"

Smootcher busted out laughing and slapped the steering wheel. "Because she ain't all there in the head," she ran her fingers across the radio buttons and snickered. "I bet she went nuts with all the chocolate we had smeared on the radio buttons."

"Ohh now don't say 'we' when it was your nasty fingers all over those buttons, I only leave orange Cheeto's finger prints on the windows and dashboard." Murphy replied and then cussed when Smootcher hit the brakes.

"FuckingnogoodVirginiaassholedrivers!" Stewie screamed and flipped the driver off in front of them who for no reason had slammed their brakes on. "Go the fuck back to your own God damn state and stay the fuck there…we don't wantcha here!" She screamed out her window as they flew past the slow moving vehicle. "No wonder there's so many damn accidents; fucking cops can't drive for shit…" She spun to look into the narrowed eyes of her sister. "Smootcher that was a cop you almost hit and passed doing 75mph!"

"So the fuck what, he's doing 30 in a 55 zone, ya really think he's gonna come after us?" She looked in her mirror and prayed that he wasn't in fact right behind them with his lights flashing. "The asshole's probably too busy filling his face with that bucket of chicken I saw wedged on the dashboard…we got time to stop for chicken?"

******************

Judge ran through the house to the living room, dove for her phone and landed on the couch with it clutched to her ear just as the answering machine clicked on. "Hello?"

"Judge this is your mother, why are you not at work, your father's been at work for hours already?"

She had hoped that it was Murphy calling or at least one of the Whistlers. "Mother it's five o'clock in the morning here, remember the time difference and fathers a workaholic."

"Don't speak ill of your father, he works hard and look where it has gotten you or should I say where it would have gotten you if you had listened to us and taken the position at your father's law firm."

"Why are you calling me?"

"Because I know that I needed to remind you that this weekend is your fathers anniversary with the firm, you will be here and with a suitable date and don't you dare bring some woman with you, you will not disgrace your father's day or our family like you have done in the past."

Judge rolled from the couch, grabbed a bottle of Windex and started cleaning her already spotless windows while she listened to her mother rant on the phone. She cleaned all the windows, her TV, monitor, mirrors and anything else that Windex could clean or shine. By the time she hung her phone up, half the bottle was gone and sweat ran down her face and neck to soak her t-shirt. Dropping into a kitchen chair, she let her forehead fall to the table and her hands went to squeeze the table's edge. She felt her fingers cramp from the pressure and the normal pounding start behind her eyes, it never failed, her mother would call and she fell apart. She moved back in her chair and pressed the edge of the table right over her eyebrows. It was the only thing that helped with the pounding and she didn't care that it left a red crease on her face. "Why did I have to answer the damn phone?" She sat up and rubbed the area between her brows with stiff fingers. "She just had to call and ruin what I had hoped would be a productive day for me, now I'm gonna worry about all the bullshit that she's going to pull at the firms shindig."

Her parents were notorious for making her look like a complete ass for not following in her fathers corporate footsteps, they came up with the excuse of paying penance for her past fiascos while in law school as the reason she worked for peanuts in the court systems. The real reason was that she wanted to beat lawyers like her father in court by way of becoming a Supreme court Judge. Her father was a crook and everyone knew it. He may not actually be the one breaking the law but his clients were and he was guilty in her eyes by keeping them from paying. "Filthy son of a bitch is worried about me soiling the family name when he represents the filth of the business world." She got up, grabbed the bucket she used for major cleaning and started to clean her small house for the third time that day.

**************

Smootcher parked the truck outside of the address that mama had given her, she looked to the flashing neon beer signs and then to her sisters. "Why is it always a damn bar, can't we get clients that hang out at like Pizza Hut or Fridays?" The other two groaned and filed out of the truck to stop and check their weapons. "Ohh come on now," she got out to stand in front of them with her hands on her hips. "Wouldn't ya like ta order take-out, get our creep and food all in one shot?" When neither one of them said anything, she threw her hands in the air and walked away mumbling.

"Do ya think she has a problem with compulsive eating?" Stewie snickered at the wide grin that blossomed across Murphy's face.

"Ya mean like we do?" She pulled one of mama's cookies from her pocket and handed it to her. "Come on before she gets beat up or something." She reached for a flap on the back of Stewie's jacket and pulled it down to reveal 'Whistler Bounty Hunters' in bright yellow letters. They skipped into the bar and looked around for Smootcher; they finally found her at a table near the end of the bar, what didn't surprise them any was the plate of hot wings in front of her. "I bet she called ahead and ordered them things, she knows we gotta bring Charley in and don't have time for this." They dropped down around the table and stared at her.

"What?" She asked around the hot wing hanging from her mouth.

"Did you see Charley before you started filling your face?"

"Ohh sure…he'll be back in a minute." She pointed a sauce-covered finger between them and nodded her head. "Right there, happy?"

Stewie looked over her shoulder and snorted, she found it hilarious that a tattoo covered man weighing three hundred pounds or more with a shaved head and walrus mustache would be seen in a redneck bar carrying a pitcher of milk.

"I got more blue cheese dressing, they never give us enough." He put the pitcher down next to the dressing and then took the plate of wings from the cook who was behind him. "Thanks Junior I think we got everything now, come on guys dig in; who knows when the next time I'll be eating Junior's famous wings."

Stewie grabbed a wing and dipped it into the dressing before Murphy could stop her. "Ohh what the Hell it's not like we're in a hurry or anything, so Charley, what did you do this time?"

He poured each one of them a mug of milk before answering in his deep baritone voice. "Well, it's not all that exciting, I tossed a guy through the front window at 7-11. I was in there with my daughter and he hit on her so I hit on him and then tossed him," he narrowed his green eyes and wiggled his thick mustache. "Ya know those candy ass lawyers at Schmitt, Garrott and Folgers, well Folger's screams like woman." He looked to his watch and groaned. "Do we have time to stop by and see my ma before you take me into the courthouse, she's gonna be mad as Hell about me taking off before my hearing. I was not about to miss my baby leaving for college so the judge can kiss my big white hairy ass."

Murphy looked at her watch and nodded her head, they had about an hour before the bar closed and it would be Charley's ass when he woke his mama at the crack of dawn. They continued to eat and talk until the food was gone and the lights flashed signaling that it was closing time. They grabbed the empty plates, glasses and bowls from the table, carried them to the kitchen area, and then left by way of the back door. Murphy wished that all the men they had to hunt down were like Charley, most of them they spent days hunting down and then fighting once they found them. Charley had called their brother and told him where he was and that he would wait for them to come and get him. They got out to the truck and heard the beep when Smootcher hit the alarm remote; Murphy pointed to the other rear passenger door and told Charley that he didn't have to ride in the cage that was reserved for the violent assholes that they brought in.

**************

Judge shook her head to try and wake up. As the door to the Judge's chambers opened on squeaky hinges, she looked to the defense table and wasn't surprised to see only the lawyer sitting there; she had been told that the defendant had run and was being looked for. She hoped that he didn't show up so that she could go back home and go back to bed, she hadn't slept any after her mother's phone call and had just made it out the door and to the courtroom in time for the bailiff to close the doors behind her. Now she was paying for it by drooping eyelids and nodding head. The sound of the bailiff telling all present to arise and his announcing of the judge had her jumping from her chair and knocking it over to the wooden floor with a clatter. A rush of heat ran across her skin and colored her face a deep red, she waited until the judge had taken his seat before righting her chair and stepping in front of her table to await his questions about the missing defendant.

"Where's your client Mr. Feinstein?" The Judge asked as he gazed over the tops of his half moon reading glasses. "Please tell me that he's in the john and will be with us in a second."

The attorney stood and first looked to Judge and then his honor. "To be truthful I'm not sure where he is, he missed his first appearance and of course you know about the bench warrant sworn out on him."

"And it looks like he will be spending the rest of his time with us until his hearing can be yet again set up." He was about to slam his gavel down when the door opened and the Whistlers escorted Charley inside and to his seat at the defendants table.

Smootcher sighed and wiped sweat from her upper lip. "Sorry we're late your honorablist, traffics a real bitch this morning. I had ta run a red light and then double park…" She flinched at the expression that came over his face with her joke. "Sorry." She dropped down into a seat and gave the Judge a grin. "Hey there Judge you look like shit." She whispered and then jumped when Murphy fell in her lap in able to get to the other side of her.

"Alright people let's get this over with," the Judge said and then took the papers from the pile in front of him. "You're the one that threw that whiny ass bastard Folger's through the window…I should give you a damn medal and the key to the city for that. Ms. Bloodstone what are the people asking for?"

"The people want…him to run for mayor…Uhhmm; we'll drop all charges against Mr. Feinstein if he'll do the same with his countersuit against Mr. Folgers." She looked first to Charley and then to the Whistler's, her eyes lingered on the black clothed Murphy until brilliant green eyes connected with hers.

"And what is this countersuit?" He looked between the attorneys and then to Charley.

"Sexual harassment and behavior unbecoming a public official," his lawyer answered. "As you know Mr. Folgers is about to accept a seat on the city council, this could ruin his career…hopefully."

The judge held up one hand and waved it. "Hold on here, it says here that he hit on your daughter but there are no details. Tell me exactly what he did and don't be cleaning it up any."

Charley stood and clasped his hands in front of him; he grew nervous when he felt all eyes on him. "He came up behind my daughter, put his fat hands on her hips and thrust into her and then said that he wanted to fuck her up the ass like the dog she was, that's when I busted him up long side his head and then tossed him through the window."

The Judge looked up with a disgusted expression and shook his head. "He might as well put his application in for McDonalds his career is as of right now over." He waved the bailiff over and spoke loud enough for everyone present to hear him. "Call the head of the city council for me and inform him that his presence is needed in my chambers in 30 minutes." Slamming his gavel down, he dismissed the case and asked for the next one on the docket. Murphy got up from the bench and waited for Judge to move from where she was standing. When nothing happened, she walked up to her and saw that her eyes were closed.

"Ya know sleeping on the job is dangerous," she snapped her fingers and was amazed that Judge didn't move. "I could be really mean and nasty to you but since we're in the courtroom I'll be nice." She whispered and then took Judge by her elbow while signaling to her sisters for help. Charley seeing what was happening went over, lifted a still sleeping Judge up, and carried her from the courtroom under the bemused looks of both the Judge and Bailiff.

"What's wrong with her?" Charley asked in a low whisper. "Ya know this is kinda weird to be carrying out the attorney that was going to hang me out to dry."

"Well I can honestly say that this is the first time I've ever seen anyone fall asleep standing up." Stewie said with a snicker and was reaching out with a hand towards Judge when she got kicked in her ass. "I wasn't gonna do anything but see what color her bra is…"

Charley groaned and shook his baldhead. "You three are sick bitches; taking advantage of the lawyer lady like that…it's a baby blue color and looks silky, ya know I think she's wearing those angel underwear's."

****************

Mama looked up from her crossword puzzle, counted heads and then looked towards the back door. "Hold on there you…two, I'm missing one, where's Murphy?" She put her pen down and tapped her fingers on the old wooden table. "Well don't you two talk all at once, where is she and if you tell me she's in jail…you're going to join her!"

"Nope it's worse than that mama," Stewie said and then let Smootcher finish the sentence.

"She's with the weirdo cleaning lady…at her house!" She jumped up and down and smacked hands with her sister. "Can I have her room, it's bigger than mine?"

"Why is she with Judge and what happened with Charley?" As usual, her head swung back and forth between the two as they told her what had happened from the time they left Wal-Mart until they dropped Murphy and Judge off at her small house. This wasn't bad, it was when the three of them were together that she wanted to plug her ears and hum, they had started speaking like this when they were still toddlers and it still freaked people out. Most people were used to seeing twins or triplets finish each others sentences off not three people that were no where near related but simply raised together. "OK so she's with Judge and may end up dead," she watched Stewie look through the pantry and come up with Murphy's special blend of coffee. "Don't you dare drink your sister's coffee, she'll kill you and then I'll have two bedrooms to clean out."

Smootcher jumped up and down and waved her hands. "Can I have my pick of their rooms?"

"Be quiet, now what are ya doing with Murphy's coffee?"

"We gotta take this and some other stuff over to her," she winked at mama. "She's gonna cook fer her, she says she's too skinny, doesn't eat right and that's why she fell asleep standing up."

"Mama she didn't wake up at all even when we pushed her in her house using the Hannibal stand." Smootcher shook her head and grabbed a cookie from the huge jar that sat on the counter. "Gonna take her some cookies, she ain't got no junk food in her house."

"And it's freaky clean," Stewie grabbed the half of cookie from Smootcher's hand, took a bite and handed it back. "All pure white and shit, she needs a splash of color,"

"Yeah Murphy's blood after Judge finds out she was playin in her underwear drawer." Smootcher went over to the refrigerator and stopped in her tracks when mama cleared her throat and spoke her name in the quiet whisper that meant she had better freeze or be able to out run mama's fast pitch.

"Why do you have a pair of thong underwears in your back pocket?"

"Ohh that's my new…slingshot, yep that's what it is, the new designer style…makes ya the bum of the neighborhood."

"That's 'the bomb' you dipshit," Stewie corrected her and gave mama a big smile. "Some even got sequins on 'em but we didn't get those ones."

"And you two are gonna put those ones back where ya found 'em or I'll call Judge and ask her if she's missing 'em, now what is Murphy planning on cooking for Judge?"

Smootcher looked up from where she was in a lower cabinet and snorted. "She called it mama's fat food, guaranteed ta put lard on yer ass."

"Now Judge don't know all of this is happening 'cuz she was still dead to the world and we don't wanna be around when she does wake up." She shivered and looked to her sister with worried eyes. "She has a complete arsenal of cleaning agents that if she used all of 'em on us, we'd end up in serious trouble."

"Or maybe for the first time the stains would come outta your clothes." Mama waved a hand at them. "Get your stuff and don't you two be a pain in Judges ass, she could make sure ya'll put in jail." She gave them a big toothy smile before going into the living room to watch TV.

*************

Murphy sat at the head of Judge's bed, a book across her lap and a can of Coke sitting on the night table, which if Judge had been awake and saw, she would have let her know that it was forbidden in that area. She snickered and flipped a page in the binder she had brought out of the truck and then looked over to a still sleeping Judge. "Drunk and disorderly and public nudity," she tapped her chest and pouted. "I went to the wrong college." She read down further and whistled low under her breath. "You drove your car up your private schools steps and through the front doors; I bet daddy's money saved your ass again." She reached out a hand, scratched Woobie's head and blew her a kiss. "What happened to your mother, she's such a wimp now?" She flipped back a few pages to a picture of Judge from about six years earlier; her hair was longer, wilder and looked darker. She was dressed in worn and faded Levis that had more holes than material and a blue flannel shirt with the sleeves ripped off. Her pose was somewhat masculine, with one booted foot on a wooden bench and her forearms resting on her knee, it would make one think twice about approaching her. "Damn you were hot back then…you're hot now but in a different way, maybe it's because you're unapproachable and because ya spray everyone down with Lysol." She looked over at her slack face and just watched for a few minutes before reading on. "And I'm glad to say that you've never seen the inside of a rehab center, just some fucking head shrinker in the nutward you were locked up in." She flipped a couple more pages and blew a heated breathe threw her teeth, if at all possible, steam would blow from her ears. "I would love to have your parents locked up in a cell with one of my relatives, they had you locked up so that the shrinkers could fix your behavior. You were normal until then," she grinned when an idea blossomed in her spinning brain. "And you'll be normal again; I'll make sure of that."

***********

Smootcher and Stewie looked around the pure white kitchen, lifted their sunglasses and dropped them back down over their eyes. They felt like they were in some sterile laboratory, even her pots and pans were sealed in plastic to keep germs from getting on the surface. "I don't know Stewie, this is like freaky clean or something and Murph wants to dirty this stuff so she can cook?"

Stewie nodded her head and looked to the immaculate white stovetop with the plastic stretched over the top of it. "I'll go hafizes with ya when we go through her clothes."

"OK but I get her boots 'cuz your feets are huge and you can have all her Superman underwears 'cuz my ass is huge." They shook hands and then jumped when they heard a low growling behind them.

"I hope that ugly little dog bits your ass 'cuz it's huger than mine."

"Ohh so now I'm ugly, just fer that I'm making sure that I leave all my stuff to Good Will." Murphy looked at the bags that covered the kitchen table and then to the case of Coke on the floor. "So whatcha think mama's special beef stew with sour dough bread or mama's triple cheese lasagna and garlic bread?"

"I vote fer lasagna and so does Smootcher." Stewie started unpacking the bags and tossed a huge container of ricotta cheese to Murphy. "Because we had stew last week and who can resist mama's lasagna recipe?"

Murphy looked at all the cabinets and just picked the one most likely to hold a pan she could use for the lasagna, what she found brought a huge smile to her face. In perfect alignment were pans of every size and shape, she grabbed one that would be large enough to feed an army and placed it on the sterile white counter. "OK, I got the pan, someone find a pot and start the water for the noodles and I'll get the cheeses mixed." She found a mixing bowl and started her chore while her sisters did other preparations for their meal. "What'd mama say about all this?"

Smootcher looked up from what she was doing and gave her sister a wide grin. "Ohh nothing much except that we get your room and stuff when Judge kills ya."

Murphy snorted and shrugged her shoulders. "So nice ta know that my family has faith in my abilities to conquer the sterile heart of one Judge Bloodstone, I'll win her over with my cooking abilities."

"That'll have ta do it," Smootcher remarked.

"Cuz ya ain't got any other things going for ya." Stewie finished her sentence and jumped out of range of a small foot aiming for her ass.

*****************

Judge rolled over took a deep breathe and drifted in between sleep and wakefulness, something just didn't register with the situation. The last thing she remembered were the Judge's words becoming mumbles and then nothing but the peacefulness that came with sleep. With the movement of the bed, she reached out with one hand and felt something that just didn't belong there no matter what. She opened one eye, took in her surroundings and then stared at the thing in front of her. Opening both eyes, she watched the tanned flesh of someone's stomach rise and fall with each breath and then flex when Woobie stepped on it. Panic set in, she knew that she was at least half-naked from the breeze that blew across her back and her thighs but what she didn't know was how she got that way or who was in bed with her. "About time you woke up, it's only been about ten hours or so." Murphy said in a deep whisper and then moved down in the bed so that she could connect eyes with Judge. "So how ya feeling there Judge, me and your dog have been having a Hell of a time," she looked down at her cleavage and winked. "We've come to the conclusion that you have at least one of everything that Victoria's Secrets makes…"

"How did I get here, why am I half naked and what are you doing in my bed?" She pushed herself up and grabbed a pillow to cover her chest.

Murphy rolled her eyes at Judge's attempt to cover what she had been looking at for the last ten hours. "Ohh like you were dressed like that at the courthouse, that I didn't get you that way and enjoyed it immensely and that I do know that your tits overflow my hands by exactly 8.7%." She wiggled her brows and lifted one corner of her lip. "By the way, how do ya get your bikini line so smooth and even, do ya wax or use one of those things they advertise on TV?" She laughed deeply when Judge turned a few shades of red, lurched off the bed and ran to the bathroom. "She's so easy!" She rolled all over her bed and stopped with her face buried deeply in the pillow that Judge had slept on. "Can't wait until she goes in her living room," she mumbled in to the pillow and then raised her head when she heard the door creak open. "Are ya hungry, I cooked…?" She fell off the bed and then ran after a furious Judge; she could only imagine what she was thinking. "Ohh would you slow down…how can you move so fast after just waking up?"

Judge stopped beside her couch and looked down at both Stewie and Smootcher, what raised the hackles on her back was the fact that her dog looked completely comfortable sitting between the two weird women. "Why are you in my house sitting on my couch?"

"Why are you afraid of colors," Smootcher asked. "I feel like I'm in some laboratory, all white and shit…got any cheese?" She clapped her hands and whipped the long tail attached to her costume at her.

"Ya know little white mice love cheese and watching cable TV, did ya know the nasty stuff comes on really early in the morning?" Stewie jumped up and waved her white gloved hands at her. "Murph wouldn't watch it with us; she was too busy staring at your tits and making kissy faces at ya."

Judge crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the two women, she couldn't believe that they were sitting there in mouse costumes or that Woobie let them put white mouse ears on her as well. "You didn't answer my question…" she looked over to Murphy. "You said you cooked…not in my kitchen you didn't!" She ran towards her kitchen and came to a sliding stop with her hands on her table. "It's clean; my kitchen is clean so that means you didn't cook in here." She spun her head to see Murphy leaning up against the door jam with a crooked grin on her face. "Tell me what you three did."

"Ohh we did lots of stuff, we licked all your forks and spoons and then put 'em back in the drawer, fingered all your underwears," she placed her index finger across her lips and thought for a second before dropping the finger to point at Judge. "And I licked every inch of your gorgeous body." When Judge's face turned ashen and she started to sink, she jumped forward and caught her before she hit the floor. "Ohh don't do this, I'm still sore from carrying you in here yesterday." She dragged her backwards and set her down into one of the kitchen chairs. "Don't move I'll get ya something to drink." She went to the cabinet where the glasses were, grabbed one and then went to the refrigerator to get the green tea out that she had made earlier. When she turned back to where Judge was sitting, she couldn't help but grin at the open mouth and wide eyed expression. "That's right Bloodstone; I cooked, baked and made coffee and iced tea in your kitchen." She handed her the glass and waited for her to inspect the contents by smelling it. "For shame Judge, I would never poison someone in their own home; I'd do it in a restaurant so that the blame could go on them." She then went about getting a plate of food heated up and placed in front of her. "Now eat before it gets cold," she sat down across from her and held back a moan when Judge looked down at the plate from every angle before tasting the lasagna. "For someone who spends so much time in Wal-Mart, you don't have any damn food here."

Judge swallowed and took a sip of the green tea before answering. "I eat all that I cook at one time and I only buy enough for a few days."

Murphy slapped her forehead. "Ohh I get it and if you happen to get snowed in or sick, then you starve to death. Mama would kick your ass if she knew you didn't have anything here to cook, ya always gotta have food for an emergency."

"Do not, Wal-Mart's open 24 hours a day and I can drive in any weather."

"Stubborn just like Murph, we're going home, you coming?" Smootcher asked her sister and blew Judge a kiss.

"Later, just leave my bike by the back door and I'll ride it home." She knew damn well that when mama found out that she would be riding her bike home after dark that she'd get her ass kicked, but that was only if she caught her. Chances of that ever happening were a trillion to one in Murphy's favor.

"OK," Stewie winked at her sister and blew Judge a kiss. "Love you Judge, you sexy beast."

"Tell mama I'll be home in a bit and don't you two speed on the way there." She gave them each a hug before they left Judge's house. "I swear they will be the death of me." She mumbled and sat back down across from a shocked Judge. "So how is my cooking, can you taste the puffer fish in it?" She grinned when Judge stopped mid chew, looked down at her almost empty plate and then back up at her with terrified eyes. "HAA! Just kidding, if anyone's been poisoned it's me and my sisters with all the stuff you've sprayed on us."

"Yeah well ya deserve it and so much more for all you've done to me," she finished her meal and leaned back in her chair after wiping her mouth. "So tell me what happened because I have no recollection other than running late for court…shit!" She dropped her face down into her hands and rubbed her temples. "Please tell me that I didn't fuck up the case."

"If you mean by having an innocent man put in jail then nope, Charley's at home with his family where he should be. So tell me, why'd you drop the charges against him?"

"I hate the son of a bitch that he tossed out the window; I just wish they'd been on like the tenth floor of some building when it happened. Folgers is a crooked lawyer," she held up a hand. "I know what everyone thinks about lawyers, but not all of us are that way, I'm not anyways. The bastard paid off a jury member on one of my cases and a drug dealer went free, so this was my way of getting rid of him for a while and hopefully ruining his career."

"Ohh you're not as nice as you look, I'm so glad you're on our side of the courtroom, speaking of which how's it lookin?"

Judge snorted and raised her head up from where it rested in her hands. "It would have been looking good except that I haven't had a chance to speak to any of you since that day at your house. I need more info on the night of the accident and if there are any security tapes from the parking lot cameras that night?"

Murphy rubbed her chin and looked to the ceiling. "Ask me anything and I'll try my best to answer and for the security tapes, I have no idea." She leaned across the table and held pale blue eyes. "I'll tell ya all of my deepest secrets including my sexual conquests if ya answer one question for me…how'd ya get the DOC disease?"

"COD, compulsive-obsessive disorder and I don't have that, I just like everything germ and dirt free…sterile…" She groaned. "The Hell with it, I like things the way I like them, clean and orderly."

"Well, get over it, I've rearranged your kitchen cabinets, refolded all your clothes and mixed up all the sizes of tampons in the little plastic dispensers you 'had' them in and now they're all together and happy."

*************

After running through her house making sure that Murphy hadn't done everything she had claimed, Judge stood in her bathroom wiping sweat from her face on a pure white towel; she looked around her and then inspected her medicine cabinet. What she found was a note telling her that she was anal for putting her deodorant in a zip lock bag. "I am not anal, I just like things the way I like them, that's all, and I don't have any psychological problems."

"Keep on looking in the mirror and telling your self that, just maybe someday you'll believe it that is after the voices only you can hear convince you of it." Murphy looked around Judge and pointed at all the items sealed in zip lock bags. "That is anal Judge and no matter who you ask, they'll tell ya the same damn thing."

"I'm not anal and this way everything stays clean and orderly." She lined up her aspirin bottles and then made sure that the toothpaste was where it was supposed to be. "Do you always barge into peoples bathrooms?"

"Yep, sure do, it's my favorite past time." She touched a blue toothbrush with her fingertip and snickered when Judge grabbed it and held it out of reach. "It's still in the damn box it came in…tell me you don't use a new tooth brush every time you brush your teeth."

"No but I use a new one every five days, that's so that the bristles don't get worn down and everyone knows that worn bristles can't fight gingivitis."

"And that's something that keeps me from sleeping at night, you're anal Judge, face it and I'll see ya later." She smacked Judge on her ass, walked from the bathroom and headed towards the front door.

"It's getting dark out," Judge ran from the bathroom and stopped outside on her front stoop. "You can't ride your bike in the dark…where the Hell are you?" She looked around and then across the road to see her neighbor watering his lawn and then down to her bare feet and up to where her shorts hardly covered anything. She quickly looked to where her trench coat hung on a hook inside the door but thought better of it when her neighbor turned with the hose in his hand and gawked at her. She grinned and pointed to where the water was flowing through the open window of his expensive Saturn SUV. "Serves ya right you freak, now where the Hell is Murphy?" When a whistle sounded behind her, she jumped, spun and tripped down the three steps of her stoop. "If you want me dead, just shoot me and get it over with!" She grabbed her chest and dropped down onto the top step. "Give me a damn heart attack and I won't be able to get you and your retarded sisters out of the trouble you're in." She looked at the mountain bike that Murphy was leaning on and shook her head. "You are not riding all the way home on that thing, I'll drive you home."

"You're not the boss of me and I'll do what ever the Hell I want." She swung her leg over the seat and then sat down. "Besides my mama, the only one I'll ever take orders from is my spouse," she took in the long muscular legs stretched out before her and sighed. "Marry me and I won't ride my bike home."

Pale blue eyes shone silver in the dimming light, white teeth flashed from an evil grin before disappearing. "Let me get my car keys and be the first to try to run your ass over."

*******************

As soon as Murphy peddled out on the sidewalk, Judge ran back into her house and grabbed her car keys from the hook by the front door. In a split second, she was in her car and trying to catch up, she found out real quick that Murphy's little legs could out peddle her car. "Son of a bitch!'' She yelled as she peeled around a corner and hit the curb with the rear tire. "It's not her that'll get creamed by a car; it'll be me that gets hit by a truck or something." She pressed the gas pedal down further and watched the speedometer hit 40mph, she knew Murphy wasn't going that fast but that's how fast she had to go to catch up to the orange reflectors she saw off in the distance. Squinting in the darkness beyond her headlights, she didn't see them any longer. Slowing down, she looked up at the street signs and saw that she was one street away from where Murphy lived, feeling stupid for not being able to keep up with someone on a bicycle, she floored it and took a short cut to Murphy's house. When she pulled up, she slapped the steering wheel and cussed, Murphy and the rest of her small family were all sitting out on the porch waving at her. "Damn her, she did this just to make me look like an ass."

"Come on up here Judge," mama yelled and waved a bottle of Coke at her. "Have a Coke with us before ya go and don't say it's late and ya gotta go to Wal-Mart, it's your night off from cleaning."

She waved a hand at them and shook her head. "No thank you mama, I've got to get some files taken care of and some work done on their case, can I have a rain check?"

"You have a standing invitation, having a nice talk with an adult would be a change of pace." She gave Judge a wink and got up to go inside her house, she missed the wiggling tongues and thrusting hips of her kids. "Knock it off you freaks, now get in here and clean up your damn mess!" Or so they all thought. Judge got back into her car and with one last look and a wave and headed back home.

"I swear the reason I'm still stuck with the three of you is because you're a rude, crude and twisted bunch of freaks, now get your asses in here and clean up all those damn Popsicle sticks and wrappers and get out of those damn mouse costumes. It's not like the neighbors don't already have enough to talk about with your brother wearing an evening gown to the race track."

"Hey wait a minute I didn't get no Popsicle!" Murphy yelled and fell over Stewie's feet trying to get into the house. "Mama she tripped me!"

"Why in the world did I adopt so many whiny brats, I shoulda raised gold fish or something."

*********

Judge rifled through the files covering her kitchen table and then looked through the stack she had sitting on the floor. She could have sworn that she had it at home, she never left files at her office because she had a feeling that someone was sneaking in there and looking through her filling cabinets; sorry about their luck but now all they would find was cleaning gear. "Where the Hell did it go, I know I saw it…" she got up and went into her bedroom, there on her dresser was the file she had been searching for. "That rotten nosy little trouble maker," she leafed through the file and found parts highlighted in bright yellow with notes at the side of the page. "She…she messed up my file!" Her breathing became irregular, sweat broke out on her brow and then she calmed after reading what Murphy had wrote. "Subject has four counts of bodily threats and endangerment with the use of a vehicle in Virginia, two counts of leaving the scene of an accident in Maryland and the state of Pennsylvania is sending their records by courier Now breathe Judge you sexy beast, you can add this to your report and print up a brand spanking new one." A small grin came across her face, she shook her head and went back into the kitchen to reread the report and see what Murphy had added to it.

An hour later, she had a new report in her hands and was waiting for her laptop to shut down, with the new information from Murphy, she was seeing a way of turning the tables and getting the charges dropped completely and the person put away. What she couldn't figure out was how the person had evaded jail time with all the serious traffic violations. "Must be a rich bitch that can buy the judge, that won't happen this time." She placed the file in her briefcase and then stood up to stretch the muscles in her back. Even with all the sleep that she had, she was now exhausted to the point of fighting to keep her eyes open. It would be the first time in years that she was in bed before eleven pm and that was without cleaning before hand.

**************

The three sisters walked into Whistler's bail bondsman office and stood with crossed arms over their chests with identical glares for their brother Dodger. During a phone conversation earlier, he tried to stiff them on their payment for bringing Charley in for court. He thought that they really hadn't had to look for him and that they should only get a quarter of the bounty money, now he was seeing the error of his way, not because of his sisters but because mama stepped through the door. She raised her umbrella and pointed the shinny tip at him. "How would you like me to deflate those saggy ass tits of yours, you're gonna give your sisters their pay or you're going to the ICU for a few months!"

"But mama," he whined and tried to get his huge 400lb body up from behind his desk. "I told them where to find Charley, all they had to…"

"Ya I know what they did and from now on you can get your fat ass out there and find your own fugitives, knock them dense with your tits or what ever 'cuz they now work for mama Whistler's bounty hunting." She moved around the desk and smacked him with her umbrella until he was out of his chair and standing away from all of them. "You just became the fat ass gopher, now go get me a cup of coffee and not that nasty stuff you make either, walk your ass on down to Grandma's kitchen." She shooed him away and then picked up the files that were in the center of the desk. "OK let's see now," she put her bifocal glasses on and squinted through the lenses. "There's one here from Frederick County," a wide smile blossomed on her face. "This ones for five grand, he must be a bad one." She waved it in front of them and grinned when Smootcher grabbed it. "OK, now here's one for this area, Martinsburg bail wants a Ralph D. Trancer Jr. brought in to the Martinsburg jail, considered armed and dangerous, he's a triple hitter so this ones not getting out once he's brought in." She waved it in the air and snickered when Murphy groaned and then took it.

"Ohh Hell, this one's 25 grand if we can find him, that means he was put out on 50 grand bail. What the Hell did he do to have that amount slapped on him?" She went over to the PC set up on a side table and punched in the file number; she whistled low and waved a hand at her sisters. "He's a two time loser with…spousal assault and battery and a two time loser for carrying an illegal weapon…damn," she looked to mama and shivered. "We'll need our vests for this one; he was arraigned for killing a cop."

"Gimme that one back," mama said and reached out a hand. "I'll give that one to one of the boys."

"We can handle it mama, we've had worser ones than that." Stewie said and winced when mama held up her umbrella.

"Who taught you how to speak, worser is not a word, now gimme that file." She knew all was lost when the three of them ran from the office before she could get up from her desk. "Damn rotten kids, I need to kick their asses more." She waved a hand at Dodger when he came huffing and puffing through the door with her coffee and a bag that she knew was filled with fresh turnovers. "Like you really need those things, I'm fat because of my thyroid; you're fat because you're a lazy bastard that eats everything that falls in front of you. Now put those down and go across the street and get your brother Barry."

"But mama I got him on speed dial, just…" He threw his arms up over his face when she produced a tennis ball. "On my way, if I'm not back in a few minutes, it means I fell over from heat stroke!"

"You could use a little heat stroke; maybe it'd melt some of that lard off your ass!" She yelled back at him, bounced her tennis ball off his ass and then fixed her coffee the way she liked it, half cream and a lot of sugar. She started putting the files in order according to how dangerous the fugitive was she knew that her girls were tough and able to handle the worst of the skips, she just didn't like it that they did it all the time while the men got the easy runs. From now on or until Dodger wizened up, she would give each group of bounty hunters one of the bad apples. "I know they can kick all their brothers' asses but they're my baby girls."

***********

The next morning Judge locked the doggie door to her back yard and pointed a finger at her dog. "No funny stuff and stay out of the clothes hamper, you have your toys you don't need my underwear." Grabbing her briefcase, she looked around her kitchen before grabbing the paper bag with her lunch in it. This would be like the second time that she had taken a lunch into work, if not for Murphy cooking, she wouldn't be taken anything in but waiting until she got home. The problem there was that her blood sugar always dropped and left her weak and stumbling. Her secretary always had candy in her drawer for those times and a few harsh words to go along with it. She just didn't think about eating, she was always too busy cleaning to do that. If not for the alarm on her watch going off to remind her that she had ten minutes to get to work, she would have mopped her all ready spotless kitchen floor before leaving. "Now behave your self and stay out of the no dog zones," she leaned down and held the innocent brown eyes of Woobie. "You know what those are, we've discussed them daily."

The second the door was closed, Woobie took off at breakneck speed through the house, she jumped on the couch, launched off the arm to the chair and then to the floor. Her feet moved at warp speed but her body went nowhere until her toenails dug into the carpet. Her next place was her mistresses' bed; she jumped up and rolled all over the white down comforter until she left it rumpled. Bed pillows were next on her agenda, after jumping on each one, she took off to the bathroom and to her favorite hamper; the one that held all Judge's underwear. It was one of nature's mysteries, dogs and underwear; it's simply something that was never meant to be solved.

***********

Judge walked up the stairs of the silent courthouse and felt shivers run up her spine, it never failed to amuse her that being in the building on a weekend could creep her out. She often wondered if the chills weren't from ghosts that she knew wandered the place, after all the building was a couple hundred years old and back then a lot of people were hung in the tree that up until a few years ago was still in front yard of the courthouse. Stopping outside the door to her office, she pressed her ear to the wood and listen to the creaking from inside, she swore that things got moved around while she was away. "Get out of my office unless you plan on cleaning it!" She yelled and then looked around to make sure that she was in fact all alone and no one was watching her talk to her door. "Maybe I should make an appointment with my doctor, I talk to Woobie like she's human, and I talk to things I can't see and mostly to myself." She unlocked her door and walked in slowly, she always wanted to catch a ghost rifling through her desk drawers, if it ever did happen, she'd drop over dead and not be able to tell anyone. If she did want to catch someone, yelling before hand wouldn't help one bit, she always thought of that afterwards though.

As she dropped behind her desk, she had a nagging feeling that she was forgetting something, giving up on it; she pulled her files out and set to work.

*************

The Whistler sisters were dressed in their bounty hunter clothes complete with bulletproof vests and knee, shin and elbow guards. They basically looked like they belonged on a SWAT team. The only thing they didn't wear was the ballistic helmets and face shields. Before they got into their dark truck, they did their good luck ritual; they slapped hands and did a dance in a little circle before head butting each other. Wobbling from the head butting, they got into the truck with Murphy riding in the back. She wasn't allowed to sit up front because she was a backseat driver, she screamed louder than their mama if she was up front. "Come on Smootcher let's go get the creep!" She jumped up and down in her seat and slapped the back of the seats.

"How about if I smack the shit outta you," Stewie asked and smacked at her hands. "Ya always miss and hit me in my head."

"Like I can hurt you, Smootcher remember that time when we were little and you hit her in the head with that brick and it broke?"

"You hit her with the brick and if I remember correctly, mama broke your ass with her hand."

Murphy snickered, smacked Stewie in her head and then moved so that she couldn't reach her. "Either way she's got a hard head," she pulled a paper from inside her vest and read the addresses on it aloud. "Which one first, the nasty mean bastard or the wimpy fuckwad?"

"I think we should just get the wimp over with and then get the hard one," Smootcher looked into the rearview mirror at her sister. "That way if we get the shit kicked outta us, we're done for the night and don't gotta go chase down the other one." All heads nodded, it wasn't like they needed to discuss what they were going to do, it was just a way of making sure that they were all on the same page and part of their ritual. Within an hour, they were pulling up outside of a small well-lit house, pulling up from the drive a bit; they parked and exited as quietly as possible. Using only hand signals, they moved out and took their normal positions when entering a home. With weapons drawn, they each counted to ten before entering through the two doors of the house. With Smootcher screaming at the tops of her lungs at the back of the house, it always distracted the person so that Stewie and Murphy could take them down in a surprise move. When Murphy and Stewie stormed the front room, the extremely overweight man was standing there with a slice of pizza hanging from his mouth, phone in one hand and a crushed can of foaming beer in the other. What was truly shocking for them was that he was completely naked except for the thick black hair covering a good percentage of his body. He whipped his head back and forth, dropped what was in his hands and then the pizza from his mouth.

"Hey I give up just don't shoot me…hey I get all women cops, I must have done something right for a change." He grinned to show lack of teeth on top and what resembled a picket fence the rest of the way around. "Come on tell me this is Scare Tactics."

"Ohh believe us it is," Murphy shivered and pointed to where his bathrobe lay on the couch. "Give us a break and put your robe on."

He looked to her with one raised bushy eyebrow and then scratched his hairy stomach with an equally hairy hand; they all prayed that his hand didn't wander anywhere else. "Guess this isn't scare tactics huh," he slowly grabbed his robe and then pulled it on. "Guess I should have made my court date huh, can I see your badges so I know this ain't a gag?"

Stewie pulled her ID from her pocket and showed it to him with a grin. "Bounty hunters buddy, we're tougher than cops." She turned him around, cuffed his hands with plastic bands and then waited for her sisters to check the rest of the house before taking their prisoner outside to the truck and then securing his house. Once he was inside the cage, they snickered when he let out a wail from sitting on the cold steel bench. He should have thought about something like that happening, his robe barely covered his ass when he was standing. "And men wonder why there are so many lesbians in the world." They got into the truck and headed in the opposite direction to the next place of attack, they would handle this one differently because this guy could really hurt them. That was the last thing any of them wanted because if they survived, mama would happily finish the job. "Uhhmm guys did anyone change the batteries in our zappy guns?"

Stewie leaned over the back seat with her tazer in her hand. "Don't know, stick your tongue on it and we'll find out?" She gave her a big grin and wiggled her brows. "Dare ya…triple dog dare ya."

Murphy rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Do I look that stupid, once is enough; I learned that the last time that's not how you check the batteries; jeez you sorta blondes sure are dumb."

"I'm not the one who stuck their tongue on the connecters and you're calling me dumb? And I wish you would get it straight, I'm not a blonde you dumb blonde."

"Ohh will you two just shut the Hell up, I'm tryin ta concentrate on where were supposed ta go." Smootcher mumbled and weaved the truck back and forth to get her point across.

Their prisoner put his face up to the small window and yelled above their arguing. "Hey do you guys gotta blanket up there, my nuts are freezing to this bench?"

*************

Judge sat at the small table in her office and looked over all the files she had spread out, so far she had written up an inch thick file on the woman that tried to kill the Whistler's. What really surprised her was the fax she found in the paper tray from the PA courthouse, she would have to find out how Murphy had known her office fax number among other things. Moving some files to a leather satchel, she put the others into her briefcase and some loose papers in a wooden tray she had off to the side. Placing all her office supplies in a small plastic carrier, she cleaned up her work area and sat back to rub her eyes. She still had a nagging feeling that she had forgotten something, it was a normal thing for her though, and over the last few years, she had noticed that her memory was getting worse. She hadn't seen a doctor about it because she was afraid that he would tell her that she had the early signs of Alzheimer's. That was more frightening than having a fatal disease that would kill her in a matter of months. Taking a deep breath, she tried to ignore the pounding that was starting behind her eyes. Stress always brought on a major headache that would debilitate her for a day or so, this one felt like a huge jackhammer with a spike on the end. "Just my fucking luck," she looked around for her Mason jar sized bottle of aspirins and found it on her desk amongst other files.

"I need jumbo sized aspirins or a morphine drip." Dumping half a dozen into the palm of her hand, she dry swallowed them and grimaced until the bitterness left her mouth. Shaking her head and slapping a hand on the table, she threw her head back and howled. "Damn that sucks!" Stretching out all the tense muscles in her body, she bent over and let her hands touch the floor. Straightening up only when the pressure behind her eyes became too much. "Time to go home and do something constructive." Gathering up what she needed to take with her, she left her office to head home for the night.

***************

"Ohh this is not good," Murphy said from where she stood hiding at the side of their truck. "How in the Hell are we gonna get past the entire Pagan motorcycle gang to get this asshole and why wasn't it in the damn file?"

"Ohh probably because our dear brother is a fat ass bastard that needs his nuts put in a vise didn't do any more research than necessary, that's why." Smootcher dialed their mama and waited for her to answer, when no one picked up on the other end she swore under her breath. "For fuck sakes we are so screwed, mama ain't home." She checked her gear and made sure that her bulletproof vest was secure. "Either we go in there with swinging fists or we go home with our tails tucked, what is it?"

"I ain't no yellow bellied dog; I'll go in alone and get the asshole." With a cocky strut, Stewie walked from their hiding place and headed towards where she thought a window would be.

Murphy and Smootcher cussed and went after their sister, they knew she would get in trouble and her ass kicked just to prove that she wasn't a coward like some of their siblings, but more of an idiot.

"Damn her but one of these days she's gonna get us all killed." Murphy swore again and checked to make sure that her Beretta 92 USA Desert Storm had a full clip and that the safety was off. She took off running at a crouch and stopped at the side of the building beside Stewie. "What in the fuck are you gonna do now…," her eyes grew wide; she covered her ears and dropped her chin down to her chest. "Oohhh shit Stewie."

Stewie pulled the pin on the flash bang grenades, tossed them through the open window and dropped down to huddle next to her sisters. When the grenades went off, they waited a few seconds before jumping through the window and kicking ass. Or not, they found that some of the men were not affected by the grenades because they were too drunk or stoned to notice. As they searched the room for their skip, they dropped close to a doorway and then flattened out on the floor when bullets flew around them. Each pulled their weapons and waited until the shots from the other room stopped. Murphy tossed another grenade, rolled into the room with her Beretta up and shot the man right in front of her.

Scurrying to a safe area beside a couch, she put her hand over the back of it and returned fire while her sisters rolled into the room. Smootcher let out a scream and tossed another flash bang into the adjoining room, she just couldn't figure out why they were having no effect on the people shooting at them. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and wasn't able to move in time, she howled in pain as the buckshot from a shotgun hit her in her ass and the backs of her thighs. Stewie stood up and charged forward with her pistol blazing until the man fell backwards with half a dozen bullet holes in his chest, she rolled and came up in a kneeling position and took out another man who was reloading his pistol.

Even the sound of sirens coming their way didn't stop the gunfire, Murphy yelled out in pain, dropped to the floor and shot beneath it. She shook her head and saw blood spray out across her hand, raising her fingers to her face, they came away covered in blood. That was the last straw; she gave out a yell, flew over the back of the couch and stormed the room in front of her. Her body jerked from a shot to her chest but it didn't stop her from running forward and tackling the man shooting at her. She punched and used the butt of her Beretta on his head until he fell motionless to the floor. Rolling off him, she lay there until Stewie came rushing in. "Is that all of 'em?"

"Yeah except for the ones sitting around staring into space, did the flash bangs do that?"

Murphy wiped at her cheek and shrugged her shoulders. "No idea where's Smootcher?"

"Laying on the floor, she got buckshot in her ass and legs. Is this our skip that you put a few more lumps on his head?"

"I hope so; I don't want anymore firefights tonight." She sighed and pointed a finger over her sister's shoulder. "Now they fucking show up, after we get shot and blow out all the windows with grenades, the brain dead in blue show up."

"Ya know mama's gonna kick your asses, this is all your fault!" Smootcher yelled and crawled towards them. "Lettin me get shot in my ass and for what?" She looked at Murphy and felt all the blood drain from her face. "We are so dead and your face looks horrible, does it hurt?"

"Does your ass hurt…" she raised her hands in the air and let the officer take her Beretta from the floor beside her. "About time ya got here, we're gonna need identifications on all these people in here."

The officer collected all their weapons and then stepped back for his sergeant to get closer. "And what in the Hell happened here, it looks like the OK corral?"

"Ohh we came to get our skip and the whole damn place went up," Stewie nodded her head and waved a shaky hand around. "Bastards didn't give us a chance or nothin, just started shooting at us. So we threw some flash bangs and got down to business…can I have my piece back now, my mama will kick my ass if I come home without it?"

The sergeant nodded to the officer and then took in the three women. "Who are you people anyway, no one in their right mind would come in here?"

Smootcher gave them a big grin. "Ohh we're the Whistler's, ya know Whistler's bounty hunting?" When the sergeant threw his hands in the air and walked away, she looked to her sisters. "Are we like lepers or something, they always do that?"

**************

Judge sat at her kitchen table looking off into space, it was six o'clock in the evening and she still couldn't figure out what it was that she was forgetting. She took a sip of the coffee she had made and sighed from the rich creamy taste, she had found the small plain can of coffee next to her normal generic brand and knew that it had to have been put there by Murphy. Another thing was the Ziploc containers in her freezer with lasagna in them. The small blonde had thought of everything including slicing the garlic bread in to small pieces and freezing those as well. "I'll have real food for a while thanks to the Whistler's, what I can't figure out is why they did it." She reached down and picked Woobie up to put on her lap.

"What am I forgetting Woobie, I'm supposed to be doing or going somewhere tonight but I can't remember what." She kissed her dogs little head and then rested her chin there. "I'm loosing my mind, whose gonna take care of me when I become a rutabaga…that's a veggie right?" She reached across the table, grabbed a medicine bottle and dumped two of the pills out into her hand. She had been taking the same prescription since college and wondered if the pills did anything at all, she had asked her doctor a few times what exactly they were for and he said they were to regulate chemicals in her brain. She had looked the name of the pills up and wondered why she was on an antidepressant medication, she couldn't remember being depressed. Grabbing another bottle, she poured out one pill an popped it into her mouth, she had grown tired of trying to figure out all that she took and when she forgot to take her medication, she felt horrible. "Well Woobie, how about if we watch some TV and then find something to do later on?" She took her coffee into the living room and dropped down onto the couch, after flipping through the channels, she settled on the History channel.

*************

Smootcher yelled from where she was laying across the backseat of the truck. "I can't believe you guys wouldn't let the ambulance take me!" She slapped the seat and whimpered when they hit a hole in the road.

Murphy snorted and tossed an M&M back at her. "It wasn't our idea; you blew it when ya asked that lady paramedic if ya could bury your face in her tits on the ride over."

"And sucking on her thumb sure didn't help any…SONOFABITCH!" Stewie screamed as a car blew in front of them, she jerked the steering wheel to the left, slammed the brakes on and winced at the squeal of rubber as they slide sideways through the intersection. "MotherfuckingcocksuckingassholeMAN!" She pulled the truck straight; hit the gas pedal at the same time as she hit the siren and the flashing lights. "Gonna kill the son of a bitch, he coulda killed us!"

Murphy yelled enough cuss words in one sentence to break Stewie's all time record and slapped her hands over her eyes. Smootcher screamed and slid off the seat to the floor and let out a scream that had everyone's hair standing on end and that included naked guy who was bouncing around in the cage. Stewie chased after the man and finally got him to pull over on the side of the road. She pushed the truck door open, jumped out and strode up to his car. Yanking his door open, she grabbed the cell phone that he was speaking on, looked at it and then smashed it in the middle of the road.

"Hey what the Hell did you do that for," the man got out of his car and picked up what was left of his cell phone. "That phone cost me five hundred dollars!"

"Too fucking bad," she grabbed the remains from his hand and threw it out into the open field. "You know that talking on a cell phone while driving is against the law, now hand me your car keys and then stand at the back of your car."

"I'll do no such thing until I see a badge and some identification!" He threw a hand out towards where her badge hung on a holder on her jacket and found that it was a very bad thing to do, Stewie twisted his arm up behind his back and slammed him into the side of his car.

"Hey Murphy can I borrow your handcuffs, mine are on one of those stoners the cops got?"

The man tried to look over his shoulder at her. "Who are you people…you're not cops…ooohhh my, you're going to kidnap me and sell me on some kind of slave market!" He struggled against her and cried like a girl.

"Get real asshole, everyone knows that men are lazy assholes with no brains, that's why the slave market is full of women." She took the cuffs from Murphy, slapped them on one of his wrists and then fastened the other to the handle near the windshield that people used to get in or out of their cars.

"Will you hurry up," Murphy hissed. "We got naked guy in the back and Smootcher bleeding all over the seat." At that, the man started screaming for help and then cried when he saw his keys sail out into the field.

"Next time you even think about using a fucking cell phone when you're driving, running a red light anywhere in the world, cause a near fatal accident, think about this moment." She slapped him in the back of his head before flattening two of his tires. "Fucking asshole I hope no one comes by here for DAYS!" She jogged back to the truck and snickered when she heard Smootcher growling in the back seat.

"Can we go to the hospital now; I can't wait until mama tans your asses for letting me get shot in mine? And now that I've hit the floor face first I think I need a breast inspection, my tits hurt!"

"You just want some nurse feeling ya up so ya can get cheap thrills," Stewie said and then sighed in disappointment. "Would someone slap me or maybe zap me with the zappy gun when we get there, I could use a cheap thrill."

Murphy uncovered her eyes and punched her in her upper arm half a dozen times until she yelled out. "I'll do worse if you don't slow down and stop making turns on two wheels!"

******************

Monday rolled around with Judge working at her desk, she looked up from the papers she was reading when her secretary Belinda walked in. She was wearing wrap around sunglasses and nose paint and carried an umbrella in her one hand. "Your mother's on line two and I for one am glad that I am NOT you, that woman broke my eardrum and has me wishing that I stayed home."

Judge whimpered and then reluctantly picked up the phone. "Hello mother…" She flinched and jerked the phone away from her ear.

"You ungrateful bitch, all I asked was for you to come to your fathers celebration and you couldn't even call to say that you wouldn't be coming!"

Judge groaned, covered her face with her hands and wished that a giant hole would open up and swallow her, her parents could and would make her life a living Hell for this mistake. If she planed it right, the Whistler's could knock her off by way of heart attack, all she would have to do was let Murphy grope her or worse. "Mother I forgot all about it, I have important cases that I worked on all weekend, tell father that I'm sorry and that I'll make it up to him somehow."

"To Hell with your piddly ass unimportant cases, family always comes first and you're damn right that you will make it up to him and me. You will be here tomorrow on the first available flight; a ticket will be waiting at the counter."

Judge sighed and was about to explain that there was no way she could just fly off and leave everything hanging and jumped from the slam of the phone in her ear. "Like I can't afford to pay for my own ticket and what if I can't wanna fly there because of unfinished work?" She said to the dead line and knew that it would be the only way she would say such a thing. "I hate Maine, the damn nasty smelling ocean or what ever the Hell it's called, stupid ass accent, lighthouses, sailboats and I hate your fucking huge ass better than the rest of the relatives house!" She ended her tyrant with her hands pulling her hair out to the sides and then dropping down to tap nervously on her desk blotter. "How can I get outta this…?"

"Move to a foreign country like right now," her secretary said and handed her a note in a zip lock baggy. "It's from your nightmare clients." She walked from her office laughing hysterically.

Judge read the note and dropped her head to her desktop. "They're in the hospital…they wanna see me drop over from a stress induced coronary."

"That would make two of us; I wonder if we can get a discount for a double funeral?" Mama D asked and walked into the too bright office. "Damn woman but don't you think you have way too many lights in here?"

Judge's secretary snickered and pointed a finger at a whimpering Judge. "I told her but she don't listen to me any, maybe you can slap some sense into her."

"I told you it's to kill germs and airborne bacteria…ooohhh just give me a fatal disease and end my horrible life!" She dropped her head back down and whimpered until Mama D poked her in the shoulder.

"Stop being so damn weak, where's the trouble making Judge Bloodstone that had an entire campus full of women falling at her feet…and I'm counting the ones you knocked out with that left cross?"

"She's been gone a very long time, there's no more need for the bully I was back then." She ran her long fingers through her hair and then rubbed her bloodshot eyes. "What happened that they're in the hospital and I know there's gotta be something else wrong if you came to my office this early in the morning?"

"Well, outta three brats I got two with gunshot wounds and one that's just being an ass because she's loose in a place with females other than relatives. Then the small part is the Maryland police department wants confirmation that they are in fact bounty hunters working for you."

Judge's face paled at the mention of gunshot wounds, she swallowed with difficulty and stuttered. "Are they alright…it's not life threatening is it?"

Mama D laughed and shook her head. "Hardly, it'd take more than buckshot to hurt them that bad."

Blue eyes widened and then narrowed with what Mama D said about them working for her, she shook her head and raised a finger only drop her hands back to her desk. "I don't have any bounty hunters looking for anyone…do I?" She looked to her secretary and sighed when she pointed at a forgotten folder on her desk. She looked over the papers in the file and whistled under her breath. "They got all of these skips in one night; did they hold a porno party or something to lure them in?"

"Worse than that, they raided one of the Pagan's hang outs, I tried keeping them from going after that asswipe but they took off outta the office before I could do anything. I was gonna give that case to one of their brothers and let him and his group go after him but those three stubborn girls of mine." She shook her head and held out a sheet of paper to Judge. "If ya would sign that I'll fax it back to the cop shop so they can then fax me back the paperwork I need to close out the bonds."

Judge signed the paper and looked to Mama D with curiosity. "You run the bail bondsmen office along with everything else you do?"

"I do now, that lazy ass son of mine was ripping the girls off so I kicked his ass out and now he's my bitch." She looked to her watch, gave Judge a short wave and waddled from her office, as she stopped at the door to the hallway she spoke. "Ya might wanna go check on my girls; they may be in need of a lawyer by now." She laughed deeply all the way out of the building.

"Ohh Judge you are in so deep with the Whistlers that it reminds me of a paid mafia lawyer," she laughed at her bosses pale features and left her to her paperwork. "Judge Bloodstone the Whistler's private defender."

***************

Stewie hid behind the door to the nurse's lounge and waited, she knew that before long one of them would come in and she'd get her chance. For once, she wasn't one of the injured Whistler's so she wasn't about to waste this quality time with a good looking nurse. She was about to give up when she heard the squeak of shoes on the tile and then saw the pale pink scrubs of one of the hotty nurses, she crept up behind her, grabbed her ass and then joined her in a blood curdling scream. "Why'd you scream?" She asked where she was plastered up against the wall.

"What would you do if someone snuck up behind you and grabbed your ass?"

"Uuhmm…thank them and ask 'em ta do it again…OK maybe not." She slid along the wall hoping to make it out the door before the nurse got to her. "Well…must be going now…my sisters in surgery her big ass got shot…" She spun around and was almost in the hallway when another nurse came in, all Stewie could do was groan. "Like threesomes, me and your two huge tits?" She reached out her hands and yelped from the finger thump to her forehead.

"How about some good virility drugs," the young nurse asked and shook the pill bottle in her hand. "They'll make you a stud for hours on end and then we can all play together...a threesome with Stewart Whistler." She took two of the pills out and popped them into Stewie's waiting mouth. They stood around for a few minutes and then watched Stewie fall to the floor and start snoring.

"What did you give her?"

"My sleeping pills," she grinned wickedly. "This is paybacks for all the years she chased me in High School and for the time she made a complete ass outta me in gym, she took pictures of me in the shower." She said the last bit through her teeth. "Rotten bitch put them up in her locker!"

**************

So where's mama, I figured she woulda been back by now," Smootcher moaned and rolled part way onto her side and looked to where Murphy was sitting in the chair next to her bed. "I hope she's bringing real food, I'm starving," she wiggled her dark brows at her. "And maybe she's bringing your giiiirlfriend?"

Green eyes rolled to the side. "And why would mama go and tell Judge that we were stupid and got shot up bringing in a skip?"

"Because I wanna show her how dumb you three really are that's why and how you ignore your mama," mama tossed Murphy a clean t-shirt and flipped Smootcher off when she whined. "I had to get her signature on that paper so that the dumbass cops in Maryland would send me the rest of my paperwork." She shook her head and mumbled under her breath. "Damn dumbass men, like any of us would lie about being bounty hunters."

"So is she coming here…?" Murphy struggled to get out of her blood soaked shirt, got her arms stuck and fell off her chair. "Do I look OK…should I go for the macho look or the pitiful baby me look?" She finally got untangled with mama's help to find that Judge had been watching her struggle.

"How about the 'I'm such an ignorant ass look'?" Judge said and then walked all the way into the room. "Nice tank top, does your underwear have little strawberries on them as well?" She gave Murphy a bright smile and dropped down onto the empty bed on the other side of the room.

"For your information…take me home with you and I'll show ya my under roos." She blew Judge a kiss before pulling her clean t-shirt on.

"No thanks, there's one of you missing, where's Stewie?"

"The Devil only knows, hopefully one of the nurses has tied her stupid ass up somewhere and we won't find her for a few months."

Judge gave mama a raised eyebrow and chuckled at the picture that formed in her head. "Ya know I haven't seen the three of you together since I was over at your house, she will be there for the court hearing won't she?"

"In handcuffs if needed," mama dangled a pair in front of Murphy. "Here's your cuffs from the skip, I'll have to order some more, remind me when we get home."

Judge heard Murphy snicker and looked over to see her pointing at her sister. "Smootcher wants a pair of bullet proof underwear."

"From the looks of the two of you, I'd say a new line of work would be better." She leaned forward to get a closer look at Murphy's face and winced. "That graze is awful close to your eye, is your vision OK?"

"A little blurry, it'll get better." She looked to her mama and raised an eyebrow. "You never did tell me if it adds character or not."

"Get real you little moron, your face is a royal mess, go look in the mirror." Mama pointed and shook her head when Murphy did the same.

"Nope, I'm afraid ta see just how bad it is."

"You're lucky; they coulda used that super glue on your mouth." Smootcher blew kisses at her. "I tried convincing them after you said ta use a giant magnet on my ass."

"Hey I just wanted ta see if it'd work, ya know instead of digging all that buckshot out." She gave her a wide grin and moaned from the pain in her face. "How come I didn't get any drugs and you did?"

Mama threw a cookie at her and reached into her purse for more. "Because they already thought you were on drugs when you came in, ya want a cookie Judge, I made 'em this morning?" She handed a cellophane wrapped jumbo-sized peanut butter cookie to her and watched as her eyes grew misty. "It's just a cookie Judge nothing ta get emotional over."

"It's the simple things mama, when I lived at home; my mother never cooked, baked or did anything that an employee was hired to do. She has never even had to wash her own clothes or change the sheets on her bed; there's always been an employee there to do that, so a home made cookie is special to me."

"Then that's solved, as soon as I get all my kids at home you're coming over for supper," she leaned forward and handed her another cookie. "And it ain't gonna be hamburgers and fries like the last time; I'm talking all home made food that'll put lard on your ass." She grinned and tossed her magenta colored hair over her shoulders. "I guess I better go find Stewie before she ends up staying here and costing me more money."

Judge sat on the bed and played with her fingers, when alone with the two sisters, she became self-conscious and a little afraid of what they could do. Even injured, they could do harm to her, after all they had all kinds of germs. She stood up and gestured to the open doorway before trying to get past Murphy. "I'll see you guys later…I have to go home and pack…" she sighed after realizing that she had said too much. "My lunch."

"Ohhh no Bloodstone, that's not what you're gonna pack." Murphy got up and stalked Judge until she was cornered. "Where ya going Judge, got a hot rendezvous with a good looking woman…ooohhh wait I'm right here." She leaned up against Judge and ran a hand down the side of her face. "So what's up Judge?"

"None of your business now get off me…I have MACE and I have a bad temper!"

"Ohh gimme a good shot of it, I've kinda missed it."

"What did I ever do wrong in my life to deserve you?"

"Ooohhh I don't know but I would love to see your bad side, whatcha say there Bloodstone, wanna get down and dirty?"

Judge stood completely still and gazed down into clear green eyes; a thought came to her and brought with it an evil grin. "I need you." she grabbed her hand and pulled an ecstatic Murphy from the room.

"YES! I knew you'd finally figure it out, so are ya a top or a bottom, kinky or boring white bread…got any neat toys…edible underwears?" Judge jerked her around the corner and made her jog to keep up; Smootcher whimpered and pounded her small cheap pillow with a fist.

"Just fucking ain't fair, she always gets ta go places…ooohhh but she left her cookie!" She grabbed up her sisters cookie and forgot all about being alone in the room.

*************

It serves ya right you retarded brat," mama said loud enough for all the patients in the ER to hear. "Ya shoulda never pissed off that nurse," she maneuvered the wheel chair around the corner and stopped in front of the information desk. "Can I use your phone to call my other daughters room?" She took the phone from the blue haired old woman and waited for Smootcher to answer. "I found Stewie; make sure you thank the nurses for the new mittens and hat she's wearing. After she wakes up, I'm gonna take her over to your brothers house so he can cut the water pitchers off her hands and see if he can get the bed pan off her head; I think it's glued on." She snickered at the looks Stewie was getting from the other people around them and then busted out laughing at what Smootcher said. "OK, I tell her you said she's a Potty head." She gave everyone a bright smile and left the hospital singing the theme song from Gilligan's Island.

*************

Judge pulled a river dancing Murphy out to her car in the parking lot and shoved her through the driver's side door and across the seat, as she got into her car; she noticed that it was bouncing from Murphy's jumping. "Will you stop already, my shocks are shot and you aren't helping them any."

"Can't help it," she bounced, clapped her hands and sang. "I'm gonna get me some…I'm gonna get me some," she saw Judge's eyes change to an eerie silver color and slumped in her seat. "Maybe not…ya ain't gonna like throw me off the bridge to see if it is a fatal fall are ya, 'cuz I can tell ya right now that it would hurt like a big bitch."

"As much as I would love to put an end to your terrorist behavior towards me, no I'm not gonna toss you off the bridge. I need you to rescue me from a certain situation that I'm gonna be in tomorrow."

Green eyes took on an amused look; she licked her upper lip and leaned back against the door. "Please let it be something extremely dangerous…like you needing help outta your underwears."

Judge cast Murphy an irritated look and then made the last turn that led to her house. "What is it with you and my underwear or me out of my underwear, what ever happened to leaving things like that to the imagination?"

"My imagination is overworked where you're concerned, it needs a break." She winked and looked past the black blazer lapel and down to where Judge's breasts pushed against her white cotton button down. "Ya know you should feel special, I haven't shown this kind or this much interest in any woman in years."

"Ohh please," she rolled her eyes and got out of her car. "You're the type who can tell what cup size every one of the Victoria Secret models has and probably know their names and hobbies as well." She headed up to her door and turned to find Murphy staring with a tilt to her head at her ass.

"You've got guys briefs on with the kangaroo pouch in front."

Judge spun to put her back to her door and then put her briefcase in front of her. "Do not…I don't have any of those…you can't tell that just by looking at my ass."

Murphy cocked an eyebrow and gave her a lopsided grin. "Ya got the black ones on and you're wearing a sports bra with extra elastic at the sides and the Y in the back, wanna know what brand socks ya got on?"

Judge raised a finger at her and opened her mouth to only close it and put her key into the door handle. "Stop with the freaky psychic stuff, you're just guessing that's all, nothing for me to worry about." She mumbled to herself and jumped when Murphy grabbed her ass and squeezed past her into her house.

"Ya gonna make me get inside a plastic bag so I don't get germs all over your house?"

"Why would I do that now, you already left your germs in my bed…?" She sighed and went into her bedroom to start packing for her trip. "And stay outta my underwear drawer you pervert." She went into her bathroom to gather new hygiene items to place in her shaving kit bag and other items that were a must when traveling.

Murphy fell back on Judge's bed, grunted when Woobie jumped on her stomach and then buried her face in Judge's pillow. "So where we going that ya need ta pack so much and why do ya need me there to rescue you," she rolled to her side and gave Judge her best seductive look. "Do I get ta set the price for this little endeavor?"

Judge felt her pulse race as she took in the small blonde laying on her bed, no matter how much she denied it, and strange as it was; she was attracted to her. "I have a 'thing' with my parents tomorrow night and I don't want to be stuck there," she dropped down onto the side of her bed furthest away from Murphy and played with her thumbs. "We don't see eye to eye and in just a mere hour they have me suicidal, homicidal, you name it and I'm it. I want you to break up the happy little gathering and get me out of there."

Murphy was ready to be her usual perverted self but saw the sudden change in the tall dark woman, her hands shook uncontrollably, sweat ran down the sides of her now pale face and her breathing was erratic. Moving down the bed to sit beside her, she took her larger hands in hers and held them still. "You're not kidding about how they affect you, why are you going if it's that bad?"

"Because I missed my father's shindig and this is what I have to do to make it up to him and keep my mother off my back, if I don't do this, she'll show up here and make my life more of a living Hell than it all ready is." She took a breath and felt her chest tighten, moaning deeply, she pulled a hand free and clutched her chest. Falling to her side, she tried to breathe but felt her chest getting tighter by the second, fear showed in her pale eyes and tears ran from the corners.

"Ohh Hell Judge," Murphy placed her fingers at her pulse point, looked at her watch and counted, when she looked back into her pale blue eyes, she became really worried. "Does this happen all the time?" She watched her nod her head in answer to her question. Wiping at the tears on her face, she brushed her sweat soaked hair back from her face and then moved so that she could hold Judge against her body. Rocking her gently, she ran her fingers through the hair at her temples. "Close your eyes and picture Stewie, Smootcher and mama in string bikinis." She felt Judge shudder in her arms and smiled. "Can you imagine the screams of horror and how fast the beach would be cleared?" She knew that laughter was the best medicine for everything; she continued to rock Judge until she felt her relax and her breathing even out in exhausted slumber. In a soft voice, she spoke to her. "I wonder if they're the main reason behind your compulsive behavior." She rolled them to the center of the bed, wrapped around her taller friend and drifted off to sleep to the sound of her breathing.

A few hours later Judge woke up to feel the rise and fall of her head and a soft thump in her ear. Confused, she ran her hand upwards and felt a firm breast beneath it. Her eyes flew open and searched around her to see that she was in her own bedroom. Then her memory of what had happened colored her face and brought a soft groan from her throat. "Can my life get any more embarrassing?" She asked herself in a low voice and then froze all movement when Murphy moved beneath her and wrapped her tightly in her arms. The feel of a small hand brushing through her hair and then down to the nape of her neck sent electrical bolts southward. It had been a very long time since she had felt anything in that region of her body and thought it dead. "Not now," she whispered. "Why now and why her of all people?" Her questions went unanswered and then her comfortable pillow woke up.

"Ohh Hell," Murphy grumbled and then rubbed at her gritty eyes. "What time is it?"

"How did you know I was awake?"

"Easy you breathe different and there's little brown eyes staring at you." Woobie was standing with her feet on Murphy's forehead, stepped all over her until she was able to drop her head down so that she and her mistress were nose to nose.

"I forgot to unlatch your doggy door didn't I?" Woobie jumped all over them, barked and charged off towards the kitchen. "Guess that answers that," she rolled off Murphy and hurried from her bedroom. "Hold your bald little ass a minute!" She yelled and stumbled through the house. "I am in so much trouble here little dog, so much trouble." She opened the doggy door and then headed towards her bathroom off the living room, it was another one of her weird problems; she couldn't use the facilities if someone was near. Closing and locking the door, she placed her ear to it to make sure that she was still alone before taking care of her needs. When she walked back into her bedroom, she found Murphy leaning over the bathroom sink washing her face. "Sorry for acting like such an ass before, it's been a while since I had a panic attack that severe." She said from where she leaned against the door jam. "You don't really have to come with me if you would prefer to remain safe and sane."

Murphy stood up, wiped her face on the bottom of her t-shirt and shot Judge a concerned look. "I'm going with you; if just thinking about going to your parents gives you chest pains then I can only imagine what happens when you're in the same room." She stepped closer and placed a hand on Judge's chest. "I can be a real bitch when needed and that's the one you need in this case, so I'm in."

"We'll have to go to your mama's so you can get some clothes and what ever else you need," she took in the old t-shirt and faded Levis. "Do you have any professional looking stuff, you know…intimidating clothes?"

"Black leather or are ya thinking something like Armani, 'cuz I don't do girly."

*********

Stewie sat across the living room from Smootcher with a wide ridiculous grin on her face; she waved the tennis balls at her and pretended to throw one. "Do it and I'll get up and kick your ass…potty head!"

"I'm not a potty head…lead ass," she ran her fingers through the patchy haircut she now had and grinned wider. "Feels like a porcupine's ass."

"Looks like one to, where's mama?" She rolled to her side on the couch. "Is she cleaning out Murphy's room?"

"No I'm not touching that room," mama slapped Stewie in the back of her head and took the tennis balls from her hand. "I might get some damn strange ass disease from touching anything, you girls are disgusting!" She threw garbage bags at both of them and pointed to the stairs. "Get your asses up there and clean those pigsty rooms, your brothers were nowhere as nasty as you three."

Two sets of eyes connected and then swung back to mama, mouths dropped open to speak and then closed when she raised her hands with a tennis ball in each one. "Clean our rooms…we've never cleaned 'em before?" Stewie said and then ducked the flying yellow object that came at her at 60mph. "Sounds like an excellent plan!" She ran for the stairs and snickered at a stumbling, cussing crippled Smootcher.

"Damn brats are close ta 40 and they act like two-year-olds, where did I go wrong with them?" She dropped down onto the couch, grabbed the bag of potato chips and finished them off. "Maybe Judge will give 'em cleaning lessons that is if she survives two days alone with Murphy?" She grinned and then busted out laughing with the knowledge that Murphy was beyond being a pig.

*****************

Murphy swung her backpack over her shoulder and jogged to keep up with Judge, even cussing and pleading for her to slow up didn't do a thing, she wondered what the hurry was. "Ohh come on I'm dying here!" She reached out, tried to grab her hand, and missed. While still jogging, she got her backpack all the way on and then sprinted after the long legged lawyer. "Damn you to Hell and back you bottom feeding…" she jumped and landed on Judge's back and was surprised when she didn't miss a step. "Now this is better," she draped her hands down over Judge's breasts and shivered at the deep growl coming from her. "Ohh do that again, gets me all hot." She whispered close to her ear.

"Let's see, a class A violent felony is life in prison in West Virginia because they don't have the death penalty," she bounced Murphy up against the wall and then started to choke from the tight grip around her neck. "Guess I'll…kill ya now…since we're in…Virginia…they have the…death penalty…couldn't handle being…someone's bitch."

"Ohhh but you're my bitch 'cuz I ain't lettin go until we're on the plane!" She wrapped her legs around a stumbling choking Judge and grinned all the way to the customer service desk. "Ya know Judge," she leaned down and blew into her ear. "You're so butch, who knew?"

"And you're gonna be buried in my parents back yard, who knew?" She blushed when the customer service agent gave her raised eyebrows. "Sorry, here are our tickets." She shivered and felt her face get hotter from what Murphy was doing to her. "Stop that." She growled and tried to shake Murphy off her back. "Will you get down already, my backs killing me?" Murphy licked her ear once more before sliding down to the floor and grabbing her hand in a tight grip. "What are you doing, that's my hand?"

"I know it's your hand," she gripped her forearm with her other hand and stepped even closer to her. "I hate airports…ya know terrorists and stuff." She whispered the last part so that she wouldn't be hauled away by airport security or overheard by the other passengers. "And you're so big; I need all the protection I can get."

"Liar, you just want a free feel," she leaned down close to her ear. "Grab any of my body parts and I'll toss ya out a door at a couple thousand feet, got that?" She gave her an icy look accompanied by a deep growl.

"Ohh God what that growling does ta me!" She ran a fingertip against the side of Judge's breast and then yelped from Judge stomping on her foot. "I'm crippled…I'm crippled!" She limped beside Judge. "You crippled me…you…big mean lawyer!" She stopped suddenly at the end of the Jetway, looked at the planes door and yanked on Judge's hand hard enough to make her jerk backwards. "I can't do this…" she tried to turn and run and ran right into a huge mountain of a man. "I'm afraid of heights…airplane food…flight attendants!" She yelled at the man, gasped when strong arms wrapped around her waist and carried her backwards down the aisle. "You can't keep me on here; I'll cause a…commotion!"

"Do that and I'll strangle you right in your seat and then leave your little body for the cleaning people." Judged dropped her down between two seats and pointed to the one by the window. "Sit or I break both your legs and stuff you in the overhead compartment."

Green eyes looked to the seat and then up into silvery blue eyes; she gulped and with a hasty step, squeezed between the seats and down to the one next to the window. Judge gave the other passengers a small shaky smile and sat down next to a trembling Murphy. "Why didn't you tell me you don't like to fly?"

Murphy looked to her with panicky eyes and wiped her clammy hands on her thighs. "I never knew I was afraid until a few minutes ago, I've never flown before."

Judge sighed and wiped her own hands on her thighs; she looked to Murphy and shook her head. "Murphy, how can you be afraid of something you've never done before?" She pulled a handi-wipe from her pocket and handed it to her.

Murphy looked at the small square package and then raised her left eyebrow at Judge. "And what am I supposed ta do with this, now if ya had some Dramamine." She opened the handi-wipe and wiped her face and hands off before rolling it up and stuffing it in the pocket on the back of the seat in front of her, Judge took a deep shuddering breathe and shook a finger at it. "Ohh come on Judge, what am I supposed ta do with…" she looked out the small window, grabbed her seat belt, fastened it as tight as she could and grabbed Judge's hand. "We're moving and they didn't give us the engines turn or people swim speech!" She tried to stand up, jerked around and kicked her feet out in front of her. "We're gonna crash people! The pilots really old, uses a walker and has cataracts!"

Judge covered Murphy's mouth with her hand and tried to hold her arms down with her other one. "You are gonna get us kicked off and then I'm gonna tell my mother it was all your fault and give her your address!" She leaned in closer and gave her a look that should have planted her six foot under. "My mother doesn't go outside because there's a 99.9% chance that a house will fall from the sky and land on her, do you really want her at your house?" When the threat didn't do anything but make the other passengers give her pleading looks, she turned to see a flight attendant coming their way. "Ohh you are so gonna pay for this." She raised her one hand, cupped the back of Murphy's head and pulled her into a kiss that had the smaller woman moaning and sinking into her seat. When Murphy realized what was happening, she wrapped her arms around Judge's neck and kissed her back. The clearing of a throat and then the insistent tapping of a finger on Judge's shoulder broke them apart.

"The other passengers insist that you two not show public affection," the flight attendant said and looked to the passengers around them. "Just be glad that the homophobic Christian Fundamentalist asshole in the next row has not requested that the Captain turn us around and head back. Myself I could careless what you two do, it's the shallowness of the others that make us play stupid ass games." She walked away leaving Judge and Murphy to look around at all the staring passengers, Judge sunk deep into her seat while Murphy gave them the biggest grin she could and winked.

"She's all mine so turn your bug eyes back to the seat in front of ya!" Taking Judge's trembling hand, she brought it up to her lips and placed a soft kiss in her palm. "Knew ya liked me, wanna neck some more?"

Judge took a deep breathe, looked to a smirking Murphy and yanked her hand away. "No and it will never happen again…I don't know why I did it." She searched through her pockets, pulled out breath spray, an Oral B Brush-up and more handi-wipes. When she was finished with de-germing herself, she placed everything into a Ziploc baggy and placed it back into her coat pocket.

"You really are a freak," she licked her lips and stared at Judge's. "So I guess oral sex is out of the question."

"That and everything else that concerns the transference of body fluids between us," she shivered and rubbed her hands together. "Can't believe I did that and with of all people, Murphy Whistler. Why do you have two last names anyways?"

"Why is your first name Judge, she leaned sideways in her seat to wait for her answer?"

"I asked you first and why am I getting the impression that your little tantrum earlier was faked?"

Murphy's mouth dropped open, she thumbed her chest. "I wasn't faking anything and as soon as this thing takes off I'm gonna drop over from air pressure poisoning or something just as bad, we ain't supposed ta fly through the air unless we were born with wings."

"Uhhmm Murphy, we've been flying for the last ten minutes, they've already turned the seat belt sign off. Now what about your weird ass name?"

Murphy shook her head and growled. "We are not flying, I would have noticed…" she leaned over, looked out her window and then jumped back as far as the seat belt would allow. "Holy shit we took off and I didn't notice." She watched pale blue eyes narrow. "There's nothing wrong with my name and to make you happy, Mama D kept my last name so that I would know who I was and where I came from. It was either that or have a house full of kids with baby as their first names, ya know baby Murphy, baby Stewart, baby Smootcher..." She bobbed her head and held out her hands to get her point across.

"OK well that makes sense," she unfastened her seat belt and stretched her legs out as far as she could before turning her head to Murphy. "So Smootcher got shafted because her mother has a weird last name, and I got screwed because it's a family name. My father didn't care one bit that I wasn't a boy, he said I would be named Judge and that was it."

"So did he pick your profession as well, ya know hoping that you'd be a supreme court Judge; ya gotta admit that Judge Judge Bloodstone sounds stupid."

"And that's why I'll never put on the robes," she leaned back in her seat and breathed out a deep breathe. "I flinch ever time I think of the brass desk placard, people would think it was a typo."

"Or that you have a problem with stuttering."

***************

Mrs. Bloodstone hung up the phone and stomped into her husband's office, she slammed the door closed and then stopped to stand in front of his desk. "I just had the airline check to see if Judge made her plane, she cancelled the reservation and bought two tickets for an earlier flight."

Judge T. Bloodstone the IV looked up through his black framed glasses with brown eyes and shrugged his shoulders, he could care less if his only child walked all the way from West Virginia, it was no secret that their was no love lost between them. He had wanted her to join his law firm right out of college but she had to ruin it by getting into trouble, embarrassing the family and ending up in a psychiatric ward for a year. He went back to his paperwork and groaned when she yanked the papers from his hand. "What do I care if she changed her plans, I still don't know why you insisted that she come here?"

"After all that we've done for her, private schools, college, cars, the medical bills, she can at least show up and congratulate you." She dropped the papers back on his desk and stood with her hands planted on her surgically perfected hips. "When I spoke to her, I distinctly remember telling her to not bring anyone and what did she do, she has done just that. She had better not come here and think that she is going to bring her sinful ways into this house."

Mr. Bloodstone looked at his wife with half lidded eyes and shrugged his shoulders. "So have all the doors and windows locked and make sure that the guard at the front gate knows to not let her in if she comes here with someone, that she's not granted entrance until tomorrow when she's expected. Just do what we do every time we know she's coming, now leave me in peace so I can get this contract finished for my meeting in the morning."

"Ohh she will not get through that gate until she's supposed to, I have everything on a time schedule and she will not disrupt it one iota!" She stomped from the room and slammed the door when she left.

************

Judge took the offered glass of Jack Daniels and Coke on the rocks and sipped it slowly; she wasn't really a drinker but needed something to calm her nerves. At home she would have cleaned or ironed her clothes, here she was stuck with a snoring, drooling Murphy laying up against her and stuck-up passengers whom kept giving her the evil eye. The more she thought of going to her parent's house, the more nervous and agitated she became. Her pulse raced, heart pounded in her chest and sweat trickled down from her temples to soak into her shirt collar. Checking her watch, she saw that they had maybe 20 minutes of flying time left before they hit the airport; from there they would take a rental car. She had planed ahead and got them a room at a motel close to where her parent's house was; she knew her mother and knew that she would be unwelcome until the appointed arrival time. "It's like making an appointment with the fucking Queen of England." She mumbled and ran her fingers through mused blonde hair. "I wish I had a mother like yours," she placed a kiss upon the golden crown and ignored the small hand that made its way to her inner thigh. "Mama D would never have sent me away or put me through the shit that my parents did, I know she didn't put any of your brothers or sisters on a plane when they were five and sent them off to boarding school."

"Nope, she threatened to send us to our grandma Mildred's though, she smelled like mothballs." Murphy stretched against Judge, tilted her head upward and took in the lawyer's angled features. "Pops left us at the grocery store once," she ran her hand up and down Judge's thigh and snickered when she slapped her hand. "They called him at home and told him if he didn't come and get the three of us he'd be in debt for the rest of his unnatural life." She sat up in her seat, took Judge's drink and finished it off. "Every one gave Mama D and pops a hard time about all us kids, it was unknown for black parents to adopt or foster parent white kids. Mama said it didn't make no difference to them what shade we all were, we needed parents and they had enough love for all of us." She saw the tears glistening in blue eyes and squeezed her hand. "Some people are meant to be parents and others shouldn't even have gold fish, yours sound like the former."

"You don't know how right you are," she pointed to the seat belt sign that had come on and fastened her belt for their landing. "You'll see what kind of people they are soon enough and then you may wish you had stayed home."

"Ohh I can handle just about anyone, remember I have eleven siblings and a small army that we call a family."

***************

Smootcher and Stewie sat side by side on the couch with a photo album across their laps; Smootcher flipped the page and sniffled. "Look at her little face; she looked like a toothless little troll." She wiped tears from her eyes and sniffled along with her sister. "She was so tiny for a second grader, a whole two foot tall toothless lil troll."

"I'll miss her blowing toothpaste bubbles out her nose and belching the Lords prayer." She wiped tears from her eyes and fell into a blubbering Smootcher. "But I'll enjoy her Playboy collection like she would want me to."

"What in the Hell are you two doing," Mama D asked and then wiggled her fingers for the photo album. "Gimme that before you get chocolate all over the pages."

"We're mourning Murphy; she was the best older sister we ever had." Smootcher whined and covered her face with her chocolate covered hands.

Mama D smacked both of them on their heads with the album and pointed to the mess on the coffee table. "It ain't gonna work you idiots, she'll be back in two days so forget about the dibs on her stuff and clean up your mess!" Mama opened the album to the page they were looking at and gave them a raised eyebrow look. "All three of you looked like toothless trolls; your poor teacher had to be medicated after a week of putting up with your rotten asses, poor woman thought you were the true devils spawn."

"I saw her the other day," Stewie said and gave her sister a wicked grin. "She screamed and fell over the bushes tryin ta get away from me, all I did was wave."

"And ask if she wanted to see the triple 6's on the back of your head." Mama said and then snickered at her kids before going back into the kitchen to finish making her famous blackberry pies. She had made an extra one to give to Judge when she and Murphy got home, after reading the file Murphy had on the woman, she knew that she had to take her under her wing. "What's one more kid, besides it's never too late to be mothered."

***********

Murphy looked around the motel room and sighed at the two double beds, when she found out that they would be staying in a motel, she had prayed for one queen sized bed. Not that she expected to have sexual relations with Judge; she just wanted to be close to her. She knew she acted like a dog a good majority of the time but would never force or take advantage of anyone. She would never do that with Judge, she may cop a feel or act ignorant around her but it was more of a way to put her at ease than anything. If all of a sudden she treated her differently, Judge would know that something was up.

"Where's the mini bar I need a drink?" Judge asked and looked around the room for the small refrigerator that held the over priced every thing. "There had better be Jack Daniels in there or I'm storming the office." She found it beneath a counter near the sink that she just couldn't figure out why it was in the room and not the bathroom. Pulling it open, she pulled out three mini bottles of Jack and a can of Coke.

"Whoooa there Judge, put that stuff back, its way too expensive."

"But I want a drink and there's nothing else around here." She pouted and dropped down into one of the two chairs at the small round table. "I should have brought…" she watched as Murphy placed a bottle of Jack Daniels and a thermos on the table. "And how did you get that through airport security?"

"What," Murphy looked at the items and into bloodshot blue eyes. "It's nothing illegal and the thermos is plastic, how many drinks did you have while I was snoozing?"

"One mouthful and then you drank the rest, now gimme some before I lose it and scream bloody murder." She slid the sealed plastic cup across the table, watched as Murphy made her a Jack and Coke and then ran from the room to get ice; she came back a few minutes later to find the cup empty and Judge tipped back in her chair.

"Tell me that you're not a light weight and you're wasted already?"

"I have no idea; it's been a while since I've drank." She opened her eyes and blinked a few times to get the blurriness to leave. "I'm hoping that it'll knock me out so that I can get some sleep, I can't sleep in strange places or beds."

Murphy gave her a wicked grin and leaned back in her chair, placing her hands behind her neck, she flexed her biceps. "I can think of a couple things we could do to wear ya out," she flexed her arms again and then blew kisses at her. "Wanna arm wrestle, I win you drink, you win…you drink."

"Ohhh now isn't that a fair deal, go to Hell." She rolled up her sleeves and cracked her knuckles. "Prepare for extreme pain 'cuz I'm gonna kick your ass and break your arm off at the elbow." 30 minutes later, a passed out Murphy was on the floor and Judge was wobbling in her chair, she looked down and ended up falling on top of Murphy. Getting to her knees, she grabbed the front of Murphy's shirt and dragged her across the floor to the bed. After struggling with her spinning head and Murphy's dead weight, she got them into one of the beds and then passed out with Murphy lying across her chest.

***************

Stewie and Smootcher sat on the curb outside Wal-Mart; they looked to each other and sniffled, they had returned to work but felt lost without their sister there. They were hardly ever apart from one another and wondered if that had something to do with why none of them was successful on dates. If one of them managed to finagle a woman into a date, it usually ended up with the other two meeting them wherever they had taken her. "So what we gonna do when she moves in with Judge Dread?" Stewie asked and took a bite from the turkey jerky dog treat in her hand. "We ain't never been apart before, at least not like forever…did that make sense?"

"Does anything you say make sense and there ain't a damn thing we can do about it except hide in their closet and watch 'em." She snickered and slapped hands with a grinning Stewie. "Ya know it just ain't right that she's the only one who's had 'kinda sex', I gots a big looty, how come no one wants it?"

Stewie fell back on the sidewalk and groaned she would have to get her sister a book on slang so she wouldn't get her ass kicked for saying the wrong thing. "You're the only black person I know that screws up slang, it's booty not looty and I think it has something ta do with having Murphy the chick magnet with us all the time, she gets the women's and we get nada," she wiggled her dark brows. "Maybe now we can gets some dates!" She jumped up, pulled Smootcher with her and they hobbled back into the store.

***********

Mrs. Bloodstone slammed the phone down and cussed at the maid who took that moment to try to sneak past, the poor young woman jumped and dropped the dust rag and can of polish she had been holding. "Why are you in here, could you not see that I was on the phone, there are other rooms to clean, find one so I do not have to look at you?" She waited until the maid ran from the area and disappeared. "Where are you Judge," she looked through the phone book that sat on the small telephone table near the library doors. "I know you would not lower yourself or the family's reputation by staying in some less than five star establishments." She flipped through the pages and gave up when she saw that she had called all the Hotels in the area, she knew that her daughter would not drive any great distance and would be in a five-mile circumference of the house. "I'll find out where you were as soon as you get here and then we will talk about your choices."

***************

Murphy groaned, grabbed the side of her pounding head and then noticed the warm moist flesh beneath her cheek, lifting her head; she cringed at the sound of their skin coming unstuck. "Ohhh why did I drink so much?" she whispered and moaned when she lifted her head up. Blinking her eyes, she took in the disheveled form of Judge, if her head wasn't screaming she would have jumped and did a little dance. She didn't know if she had done it or Judge had but the lawyer was naked from the waist up. "Ohh what a body you have," she trailed a finger across hard abs and felt her fingers tingle. "I'd worship you given half the chance." She watched as blue eyes blinked open and then looked to the ceiling in total confusion. "Hey sexy, do ya feel as bad as I do?" She rubbed at her temple and then sat up beside Judge. She wiggled her fingers against the bedspread and noticed that it was damp. "Are ya a bed wetter?"

"Nooo are you?" Judge asked, sat up and wished that she hadn't, she moaned and grabbed at her aching head with both hands.

"Well I know I'm not, so how'd the bed get wet?" She moaned from the rocking of the mattress when Judge launched out of bed. "Damn you're hot!" She gasped at the rippling muscles that danced across Judge's damp skin.

Judge looked down; saw that she was half-naked and that the fly on her Levi's was down as well. "Son of a bitch… I didn't wet the bed; I sweat excessively when I drink too much." She grabbed up her shirt from the floor and rushed into the bathroom, Murphy growled at the sound of the lock clicking.

"Ohh no ya don't, there are no locked doors where I come from, it's unsafe." She grimaced from the spinning room, stumbled to her backpack and pulled out a plastic card. "But that's easily solved." In a split second she had the door opened and was yanking the cheap shower curtain back. "No locked doors and save some hot water!"

Judge jumped, spun and fell back against the shower wall, she felt her feet sliding out from under her and flailed with her arms. "Get out…help!" She gripped the offered hand and let go to fall on her ass in the bathtub. She covered her chest with her folded arms and pressed her legs together tightly. "Why are you in here…get out!"

"You locked the door, I don't like locked doors, don't do it again." She pulled the curtain closed and then went over to the toilet to relieve her extremely full and painful bladder. When the shower curtain flew back, she looked up into questioning pale blue eyes peeking around the edge. She gave Judge a raised eyebrow with a small smirk. "If you ask me what I'm doing, I'm gonna flush the toilet like six times and enjoy every minute of it."

Judge wiggled a long finger at her and moved her mouth to say nothing; she yanked the curtain back and just stood under the spray of hot water hoping that it was just a bad nightmare. So much had happened in just hours that she was feeling her life come apart in giant chunks and that, she no longer had control over anything. "I need to reclaim control, I'm a strong person, I can do anything, I'm a complete failure and I suck!" She pounded her forehead against the tiles and then jumped back when germs entered her hung over brain. "Germs…I'm gonna die from a horrible disease…cool… guess I'll miss out on going to my parents." After washing her hair, conditioning it and washing her body, she shut off the water, climbed from the bathtub and grabbed a towel. "What the Hell am I thinking, there's no way I could catch a bug, virus or other and drop over before I have to be in Hell…unless" she wrapped herself in towels from head to toe and then pulled on the complimentary robe before going out into the room. "Do you have any strange diseases, viruses or anything fatal that can kill me in a matter of hours?"

Murphy looked up from where she was looking through the bags cluttering the small table and almost choked on the donut in her mouth. "Jesus Christ Judge," she coughed and took a quick drink of coffee before she continued. "No I don't have any diseases are ya nuts…well yeah ya are but what's with wanting to die, we only got hangovers?"

"No, if I drop dead then I won't suffer at my parents place today," she moved over to the table and looked down at the many bags of food. "Where did you get all of this?" She took the cup of coffee Murphy handed her and then took the bag with sugar and creamers in it.

"While you were using all the hot water I ran down to the corner restaurant," she took in the ridiculous way that Judge had covered her body and just shook her head. "Ya know we could just turn around and go back home."

"And have my mother show up in West Virginia…Ohh nooo, I can't handle that." She went back into the bathroom and came back out to grab her small carry on bag.

"Crazy woman, she's just plain crazy." She put the rest of the food out on the table and made herself a plate of what they had, placing the rest on another plate, she covered it up for when Judge was done. "She's gonna drive me as nutty as she is, do I have any diseases?" She mumbled to herself even after Judge came out and sat down across from her at the table. "Could just take my gun and shoot yourself if that's whatcha want but I want your body before ya do that." She looked up from her food and choked. "Damn but you cleaned up good." She took in the silvery blue eyes and felt her insides turn to jelly; she let her eyes trail down to where the powder blue silk shirt fell open across full breasts and felt her mouth go dry.

"Or I can shoot you," Judge threw a wadded up napkin at her. "Stop looking at my chest," she glanced at her watch and counted in her head how long they had before she faced Hell on earth. "Four hours until I got to be there and then another fifteen minutes before you rescue me." Green eyes held her and didn't release her until she dropped her head.

"And what's my excuse for rescuing you, it's gotta look good or they're not gonna believe one bit of it."

Judge thought for a minute and then grinned wickedly. "Tell them that you need me at the court house to sign papers for one of your skips, my father knows that as a prosecuting attorney I have to do that at times." She sighed tiredly and looked down at the full plate of food. "I hate this shit and I should move to a foreign country where they don't have electricity and satellites."

"Caller ID and moving without leaving a forwarding address is cheaper and a Hell of a lot easier." Murphy said and grabbed a piece of bacon from Judge's plate.

***************

Mrs. Bloodstone stood by the large bay window that faced the front lawn; she pushed the silk curtain to the side and saw a dark form walking up the long drive. Even half-blind, she would know her daughters walk anywhere, with all the ballet, etiquette classes and every other kind of training or schooling that should have turned her into a lady; none of it worked, she still walked like a truck driver. "She looks ridiculous in a dark suit cut like her father's, she needs a new wardrobe." She walked away from the window and headed to the sitting room where she would take her stand against her daughter's manly ways or not.

*************

The guard at the front gate looked at the dark car pulling up alongside the curb and then nodded when he saw Judge get out of the passenger side. He had never actually spoken to her and had just given her curious glances whenever she came to visit. When he asked the other employees about her, they told him not to ever ask again if he knew what was good for him. He questioned the rule and they told him that, if their employers found out that he was asking about their daughter, they would fire him in a split second and given a terrible recommendation. More or less, he would be finished in the state of Maine. So now, he ignored her except for to call up to the main house to let them know that she had arrived.

Judge looked up towards the house and watched as the curtains floated back across the window. She knew her mother had been watching just so that she could say that she was late and then call her undependable. She checked her watch and saw that she had three minutes before she would be late and then another hour before Murphy would reappear and save her, she had changed the time span so as to not cause anymore problems than necessary. Although she wished that, she could cause such a horrific scandal that they would rule her dead and leave her alone for the rest of their lives. Stepping up onto the sterile front porch, she rang the intimidating doorbell and waited for someone to answer the door. With the first few tones of the bell, she went back to when she was still just a child. Whenever there were holidays the schools closed down and the children returned to their families, they would put her on a plane or train and then a bus would drop her off blocks away from the house. She would drag her luggage all the way to the front door, then stand where she was now, and wait for someone to answer it. She had asked once why she didn't have her own key and both her parents had looked at her as if she was just the hired help. They told her that it was their house and visitors didn't get keys, so to never ask again. Now some thirty years later she was back at the same door and still didn't have a key. When she heard the sound of the doorknob, she quickly wiped her hands on her trousers and took one-step back.

"Miss Bloodstone please go around back, Mrs. Bloodstone informed me that you are to wait for your requested presence in the kitchen." The butler closed the door on her face and locked it.

"Ohh how I just love coming to this Hell on earth and being treated like the hired help, go to the kitchen Judge, don't you dare use the front door Judge." She stomped off the porch and made her way down along side the house to where the servant's entrance was.

***********

Murphy stopped at what she called a fancy smancy store, looking around; she strolled up to the door and went in. She couldn't help but grin at the looks she was receiving from both the employees and customers. She dropped her head so that she was looking over the tops of her sunglasses. Seeing what she wanted, she headed in that direction. "Can I help you with something?" One of the sales clerks asked as she looked down her nose at Murphy.

"Sure can," she pulled the dark suit coat from the rack, placed it up against her chest and nodded her head. "Got any pants ta match in a 28X28?"

"That happens to be a man's suit that comes with double pleated trousers not pants, our ladies apparel is on the other side of the store." She tried to pull the suit jacket from Murphy's hand and jumped back from her growl.

"Take a good look at me lady; do I look like I'd wear anything that came from that area? I want 'trousers' to match and fit and if ya try and sneak some female crap in on me and ya lost your commission." She pulled her jacket aside to show the gold badge on her belt. "Now I'm in a hurry so what is it?"

The sales clerk huffed but went ahead and found trousers in the size that Murphy needed. Once she paid for her suit and some other items that she had found, she strolled from the store and walked across the street to a small café. Checking the bright place out, she found the restrooms and headed that way under the stares of all. "Damn people are all uppity freaks of nature." She mumbled under her breath and shook her head in amazement. A few minutes later, she came out dressed in her new clothes. "So, am I GQ material?" She did a small spin and snorted when everyone dropped their eyes back down to their plates. "Stuck up assholes." She left the café and went back to the rental car, looking at her watch, she saw that she had just enough time to head on back to the Bloodstones and rescue Judge.

*************

Judge looked down at her hands where they traced the fine lines on the wooden table in the large kitchen; she looked up into the kind brown eyes of the cook when she placed a cup of coffee in front of her and smiled her thanks. She had been sitting there for better than 45 minutes and not a word from either one of her parents, she was beginning to wonder if they would ever call for her. It would not be the first time that she was ordered to eat in the kitchen while they entertained people in the large opulent dinning room. Even into her late teens, they often banished her to the kitchen or sent her to stay in her room until the guests were gone. She looked at her watch and wondered where Murphy was, she hoped that she could persuade the gate guard to let her pass. She had made up a phony document for a bail skip and hoped that it got Murphy inside the grounds.

She also told her where the servant's entrance was and alerted the cook to what was to transpire. She knew the older woman would let Murphy in because she didn't like her employers any more than the rest of the state of Maine did. She just hoped that she hurried; she didn't know if she could hold out for the entire time. Glancing at her watch for the umpteenth time, she was about to call it all off when the butler stepped in and motioned for her to follow. "You are to sit at the far end on the right, your place setting is already there and waiting." She stepped into the dinning room, looked around and saw where she was to sit. She might as well eat in the backyard, she was closer to it then her parents and where she was placed, she couldn't see her mother unless she turned in her seat.

"Mother, father good to see you both." She said as she made her way down the table that could seat 40 people if needed. Any further to her chair and she would have to stop and rest before venturing forth, she wondered if this was their way of telling her that they were pissed at her for missing the shindig? Taking her seat, she looked down at the plate and silverware and frowned. What they had given her to eat off was a chinette disposable plate and plastic utensils that you would get from a fast food place. She looked down towards her parents and saw that they had the usual expensive china and crystal wine glasses; her glass was a plastic cup still in its plastic cover. "Glad to see that you find me disposable, family togetherness and a parent's unconditional love, something every child should feel." She sighed and turned to her father, opening her mouth, she shut it when he raised a hand to dismiss her. "Nothing ever fucking changes around here, why do I waste my time?" Pulling the small napkin from the plastic utensil bag, she opened it, placed it across one thigh, and stared down at the paper place mat under her plate. "Gee they went all out on this one, wonder what I get to eat?" Her wait was not long, the cook came in and placed the extra large silver covered serving tray at her fathers side and then left the room. Next came the butler with a small paper plate in his hand, he dropped his head and placed it in front of her along with a bottle of water. "Thanks William, tell them that they shouldn't have gone all out on my meal…on second thought forget it." He nodded his head and left the dinning room to go to the kitchen.

***********

The cook was sitting at the small counter near the double sinks eating a piece of the roast she had prepared for the elder Bloodstone's, when William came in, she pointed to the other stool and the plate of meat. "I hate those sons of bitches, why do they treat her like that?"

"Because they think they have the right, from the day she was born, they've done this; I don't know why she keeps coming back here?"

"If I was her I'd knock both of them out and be done with it," she saw movement in the window at the side door and grinned. "Here's her friend, this ought to get them." She got up and opened the door for Murphy. "You must be Murphy, I'm Delia and this is William." She closed the door and took in the slight blonde-haired woman; she picked up the inner strength and hoped she had enough for Judge as well. "You're just in time…actually kinda late since they started with their humiliation the second she stepped through the gate."

Murphy took in the plump gray haired Delia and the tall whip thin William, she saw by the disgusted expressions that they were none to pleased about what had been happening since Judge had gotten there. "What exactly has gone on?"

Delia took her hand and pulled her over to the counter. "They wouldn't even let her in the front door; they sent her around to come in the same one you used. Then she had to sit in here until they called for her, but that's not the worst part." She shook her head and pointed to the array of food covering the worktable and counter. "Ya see all this food," she watched as green eyes grew wide. "Well, William here can tell you that Judge ain't eating anything even close to this stuff."

"Judge has a plain cheese sandwich on stale bread." He flinched at the deep growl that came from the small woman and then grinned when he saw fire flash in her green eyes.

"While they're eating food like this, she's got what a starving homeless person would throw out?" She growled out and then felt her anger take hold and cause her hands to shake. "I gotta find her a set of balls…sorry for my uncouth language but it's true."

"You might consider getting her off all those damn drugs their doctor has her on." William said and handed her a business card with said doctor's name on it from his wallet. "I'm sure that with some of Judge's contacts you should be able to get her medical records from that quack."

"Ohh I don't need them," she winked and shoved the card in her breast pocket. "I have some very powerful friends myself, namely my family, they can spin a tale you wouldn't believe and charm the gold right outta peoples teeth." She pulled her badge off her belt, flipped the carrier so that it hung from her jacket pocket and cracked her knuckles. "We haven't eaten since early this morning, could ya make us a care package up and how are her parents dressed, ya know colors?"

Delia grinned at William and went to getting food ready for them to take with them. "Mrs. Bloodstone is dressed in a peach colored silk dress and Mr. Bloodstone is dressed in his normal white linen shirt and silk tie." William answered and saw an evil grin blossom across pink lips.

"Got any red wine, I hear it goes good with snobby assholes in expensive clothes?"

*********

Judge sat looking down at the poor excuse for a meal and felt tears form in her eyes, she never cried except for when she was inside the walls of her parent's mansion. Tears trailed down her high cheeks to drip off her strong jaw and soak into the paper mat in front of her. She dropped her head, starred down at her trembling sweaty hands and closed her eyes. She never heard the door open or the click of heels on the marble floor. It wasn't until she felt finger's brushing through the hair at her temple, that she lifted her tear stained face and opened her eyes to see Murphy.

"Ya know what, the Hell with an excuse for those assholes." She wiped the tears from her friends face, placed a soft kiss to her forehead and then pulled her head into her chest. Kissing the crown of silky dark hair, she eased away from Judge and gave her a wink. "Ya know I was talking to Billy and Delia and they say that this here bottle of wine costs like six hundred bucks!" She looked down the long table at the two stricken elder Bloodstone's and waved the bottle at them. "Is that about right, six hundred?" She took a long drink, offered the bottle to Judge, swallowed with difficulty and coughed. "That stuff sucks; I've had three dollar wine that tasted better." She grinned at the grimace on Judge's face, took the bottle from her and walked towards her parents. "Ya know where I come from ya don't treat your kids like lepers, not even if they've been arrested or caused all kinds of hate and discontent." She took another drink of the wine from the bottle and was happy to see that her manners appalled both of them. "Now my girl Judge is a successful lawyer, a good friend and would do anything for any body, but you two assholes are something else!" She waved the bottle at them as she walked behind them and stopped on Mr. Bloodstone's right hand side. "She's down there in bum fuck Egypt with a fucking stale cheese sandwich while you two high and mighty asswipes are eaten real fancy and expensive gourmet food. That just ain't right in my mama's book,"

"Who in the Hell are you…" Mr. Bloodstone demanded, tried to stand up and found steel like fingers digging into his shoulder. "How did you get past our guard and in our house?" He squeaked out.

"Ohh lets just say that I'm the one who makes her scream and getting in was easy, ya see a gold shield gets me in anywhere I wanna go," she tapped her shield for good measure. "And being the police chiefs niece helps to, now about this shit of you two terrorizing Judge." She leaned down between the two and looked to each one before straightening up. "It stops as of right now, no more phone calls, guilt trips or anything else or I'll come back with my entire family. And just so ya get a good picture in your heads, I come from a huge ass family and 90% of them are black."

Mrs. Bloodstone waved her dinner knife at her and screamed loud enough to make everyone's ears ring. "You're one of those lesbians that ruined our lives! Get out of my house right now before I have William throw you out!"

"Ohh well that's something that I forgot to mention," she wiggled the bottle of wine. "When I found out what you paid them, I gave them the rest of the week off, they'll be looking for other jobs that pay better." She winked at a pale faced Judge, raised the bottle above her head and then poured it all over the Bloodstones. "My job here is done, come on lover lets get outta this fucking place, gives me the extreme creeps." She walked calmly to Judge and took her hand. "I got us a packed lunch waiting along with an expensive bottle of Champaign; Billy says it's the best stuff here." She pulled an awestruck Judge from the dinning room and back to the kitchen where Delia and Billy were laughing their asses off. They had been eaves dropping by way of the intercom that ran throughout the mansion. "I think the assholes may be in comas, they're just sitting there in wine soaked clothes."

"Let them sit there and stew for a few days, I'm outta here." Delia said and then waited for William to grab his coat and small overnight bag from the table. "I can go anywhere and get a job that pays better than this that gives me weekends off on top of it, Hell I'm a damn chef."

William nodded his head and thought of the restaurant that his brother owned, he knew he could get them both good paying jobs there. "Come on Delia we're going to see my brother about jobs."

Murphy grabbed the cardboard box of food, handed it to a still silent Judge and then grabbed the bottles of wine and Champaign that lined the counter before ushering them out the side door. "Time to chow down and watch free porno in our room, you two have my card, any time you're in West Virginia give me a call." She waved a hand at the two former employees and then placed it on Judge's lower back. "Anyone home in there," she asked once they were at the rented car that she had parked next to William's car outside of the door. "Come on Judge say something so I know your brain's still working."

"Holy fucking shit!" She said and dropped into the passenger seat. "Holy mother fucking shit."

"Ya said that already but at least I know your brain has some current in it." She got behind the wheel and with in a minute she had them on the road and in the direction of their new motel room.

"We're going the wrong way, our motels the other direction."

"Nope, I didn't want your parents finding us after we left so I got us another room in a different motel under my uncle's name." She looked sideways at a still pale Judge and reached across to squeeze her cold hand. "It'll be alright, they wanna press charges I got a good lawyer who can kick their asses all the way to Hell and back."

Judge gave her a crooked grin. "I just can't believe what you did; I wish I had the balls to do something like that." She said in a low voice and squeezed the warm hand holding hers. "I was so shocked at how they were treating me that I just sat there."

She grinned and brought Judge's hand up to her lips. "Don't worry I got balls big enough fer both of us."

*************

Murphy was in the shower after winning the coin toss or three and cheating, Judge was looking around the room for the box from the food she had gotten from Delia, she just could not stand that there was a bit of trash on the table from their meal. One thing she had to admit, she was thankful that Murphy had asked for the food, it had been a long time since she had eaten one of Delia's gourmet meals and enjoyed the company of Murphy as well. What she never expected was for Murphy to cater to her and then to treat her with such gentlemanly manners; it was something she didn't know the woman knew. After cleaning up the little bit of mess, she placed the box outside the door. Coming back in, she looked around the room for anything else that needed done. Shaking her head, she picked up Murphy's suit jacket from the foot of the double bed and went to place it on one of the coat hangers hanging from the clothes rod. She stopped when she saw the label and then felt Murphy step up behind her. "Are ya impressed?"

"Kind of," she hung it up and ran her fingers down the front of the soft material. "I know you didn't have this in your backpack."

"Nope, I bought it right before I headed over to the Hell mansion. I've never had a designer anything unless ya count the Wal-mart tennis shoes I wear."

"So the first thing you buy is a Ralph Lauren cashmere suit," she turned to look down into her eyes and felt her insides quiver, Murphy looked at her openly. "What are you doing?"

"Standing here looking at you, drooling, dripping water on the floor and freezing my ass off." She grinned wickedly when Judge's mouth dropped open after seeing that she was completely naked. "No towels in the bathroom, either I go for them as is or…"

"I'll go…put something on for my sanity's sakes." She looked around and then decided to just go and get them some towels from housekeeping. When she came rushing back into the room, she heard the sound of a hair dryer and then saw Murphy using it to dry her body off. Looking at her compact thickly muscled body made her stomach quiver and her knees go weak, she had seen her share of naked women but none of them made her feel the way Murphy did. The only problem she saw right now was that no matter what her feelings were towards the smaller woman, she was off limits. Not because she was a client or anything but because Judge couldn't trust herself with relationships. "Here I brought all the ones I could find…" she handed over one of the fresh towels and felt her heart thump against her ribs when Murphy turned and her breasts brushed against her hand. "What are you going to wear to sleep in?"

Murphy rubbed her head with the towel, lowered it and gave Judge a sexy grin. "What ya see is what ya get." She draped the towel around her neck and walked over to fall across the bed and roll to her side. Well come on Judge get naked so I don't feel so alone."

"I think I'll just go take a shower and then sit in the only chair in here to watch the news."

"Gods you're boring, we could roll around on this big old bed get comfortable, intimately close and ya could let me use ya as a pillow." She wiggled her brows and ran her hand up across her stomach to her right breast. "Or you could use me as a pillow, sex slave or just watch what I do to myself." She noticed the red creeping up Judge's neck and then her shaking hands right before she bolted to the bathroom, the sound of the lock had Murphy cussing under her breath and getting up from the bed. "I know I told her about that, no locked doors, it's unsafe." She pulled her plastic card out of her backpack and unlocked the bathroom door, when she pushed it open she couldn't help but snort at what she saw. "You defiantly are hot, uncoordinated and above all else anal!" She grabbed the white t-shirt that Judge had tangled around her arms and helped her get it off. "What is it with the little baggies for your dirty clothes, are you afraid that they might talk to each other about you or maybe contaminate each other?"

Judge pulled her shirt up in front of her chest and looked down at Murphy. "Why are you in here with me, I swear you have a thing for bathrooms."

Murphy rolled her eyes and pointed to the door. "You locked the door and it's not bathrooms alone, it's which ever room you happen to be in." She blew her a kiss and went back out into the other room to get dressed; she figured she had tortured the poor attorney long enough. Dressing in a new pair of blue silk boxers and cotton tank top, she crawled into bed and flipped the TV on, as she watched the boring local news, she drifted off to sleep.

Judge finished her nightly ritual, came out of the bathroom with the mindset that she would be sleeping in the chair and then saw Murphy sound asleep. She went over to the bed, sat down and then just took in the sleeping form of the only woman who could drive her to distraction. With gentle fingers, she touched the area around the stitches on her cheek and felt how soft the skin was. "You could have been killed, why do the bounty hunter thing?" She asked quietly and sighed when Murphy took a deep breath, snuggled further into the bed and laid a hand on her bent leg. Letting her fingers trail over warm skin, she found herself looking down at hardened nipples showing through the white tank top. Butterflies took flight in her stomach and her breathing sped up, she found a clothed woman sexier than a naked one, especially this woman. "And what you did for me today I will never be able to repay, no ones ever done anything even close to what you did and I wish I had the balls to say all of this when you're awake but I don't." She leaned down, placed a soft kiss to her forehead, and then moved so that she wrapped partially around Murphy and rested her head on her chest.

**********

Once seated on the plane, Murphy looked around them and to the other passengers; she was just as nervous this time around and hoped it didn't show too badly. She hated showing weakness around Judge; she wanted the tall attorney to see that she could depend on her for anything. Taking a deep breath, she gave Judge a quick grin and then fastened her seat belt. "OK let's get this show on the road; I know mama's got pie and ice cream waiting for us at home." She took the offered hand and squeezed it tightly when the plane started to move.

Judge saw the strain around Murphy's eyes and lips, she held out her hand and held back the whimper when she took it in a death grip. Seeing that just her hand was not going to calm her, she pulled her against her side as best she could with her other arm and whispered in her ear. "What kinda pie and will she have whipped cream to go with it, ice cream is fine but it makes the pie soggy?"

Murphy breathed easier and grinned at the mention of whipped cream. "Ohh I suppose she'll have a pie in each flavor, whipped cream in both regular and chocolate and ya wanna know what I'd like ta do with the chocolate kind?"

"If I let my brain fall a few stories into the gutter I can only imagine that it's a perverted thing you have in mind."

"Far from it," she nuzzled her face into Judge's neck and then lifted her face high enough to place her lips against her ear. "I wanna completely cover you in it and then lick it off slowly, that's not perverted, and it's sexual, big dif."

Judge closed her eyes and trembled from the sensations Murphy was causing, holding back the moan that threatened to come forth, she answered her in a deep whisper. "You are such a horn dog and it's perverted, kinky what ever no matter what and I could be lactose intolerant."

"Is not," she licked at her ear and ran a hand up the inside of her thigh. "It's intoxicating, stimulating and mind blowing sex and ya can't get lactose whatever by way of osmosis so there."

"People like you two should not be allowed to live!" A man yelled and threw the magazine he was reading at Judge and Murphy. "President Bush should pass a law that all of you…gays be put to death!"

Judge turned steely eyes towards the yelling passenger, bared her teeth and growled in a dangerous voice. "People like you should be gutted and hung on a fence post in the Bible belt, with a sign on your neck stating that you are a hypocrite. Isn't it your 'God' who says pass no judgment but that's exactly what all you religious fanatics do?" She leaned closer towards him looked him up and down and snorted at his overweight body. "Its men that look like you that cause women to jump the so called fence," she glanced down at his visible hard-on. "What would your God think about you getting a hard-on because you were watching us?"

A body came in between them and blocked their view of each other. "If you are going to cause problems on this flight I will inform the Captain to have security waiting when we land." The flight attendant stated and looked between Judge and the irritating man.

"Tell the asshole there to turn around in his seat and leave us alone and there won't be any problems," Murphy remarked and then pointed a finger at him. "Wait a minute, that's the asshole Christian Bible thumper from the other day, he was causing problems then to, kick his ass Judge!"

The flight attendant pointed to the man and then whispered so that only he could hear. The next thing they knew, she led him to a seat towards the front and away from them. "Well that just sucks; he should have been sent back to the economy class, maybe the manual pit or something, maybe strapped to a wing or landing gear assembly." Murphy said and then looked around to see if any one else was going to cause the problems.

"He hasn't seen or heard the last of me, just wait until we land." Judge flexed her fists and felt an old long forgotten flame start in her stomach; it had been years since she was this mad. "He had better start praying now to his God, because he's gonna need all the help he can get."

Murphy grinned, she was loving the idea that Judge was showing a backbone and maybe a little of the forgotten kick ass Judge of the past. She may have never met her back then but she had read all the files, police reports, and just knew that the young Judge was a force to be reckoned with back then. "Ohh baby you make me wet."

"You make me nauseous now behave, we have about 30 minutes before we land." She gave her a wicked smile when her mouth dropped open.

************

Judge kept an eye on the door when the other passengers were beginning to de-board at Dulles, she wanted to catch the loud mouth and teach him some manners. Taking their carry-on bags from the overhead bin, she handed Murphy's backpack to her, took her hand and rushed them to the door.

"What's the hurry lover got a hot date?" She asked and then tapped her forehead. "That's right it's with me and one of mama's pies."

"Ohh I've got a date alright, with that asshole, time for him to learn some manners." She got them past the passengers that clogged the Jetway area and into the waiting area and then handed her carry-on to Murphy. "Hold this and if anything happens to me, run like Hell."

Green eyes rolled, she would not leave Judge alone no matter what happened. "Get real, I'm not going anywhere without you and that's final." She pressed into Judge's side and snickered. "So tell me, whatcha gonna do to him?"

"Plow his bigoted ass into the carpet." She saw the man coming towards them; she stepped right in front of him and growled. "Remember this moment," she pulled back her left fist and hit him in the jaw with all of her power. The sound of cracking bone, and then a thump, as he hit the floor was all that registered through the red fog of anger that covered her eyes.

Murphy jumped forward and grabbed her before she could do anymore damage to the Bush supporting Bible thumping Christian Fundamentalist. "Come on Judge we gotta get outta here before the cops come," Murphy looked around them and then saw security rushing towards them, pulling her cuffs from her pocket, she slapped them on Judge and pushed her towards the security officers. "I got this," she quickly held up her badge and dropped it back into her pocket. "Stand aside I'm a U.S. Marshal, she's in my custody." She rushed them towards the people movers and got through right before the driver closed the doors. "Good thing I'm a kinky bitch that carries cuffs around." She unlocked the cuffs from Judge's wrists and noticed that she was not really with her. "Hellooo, jeez ya take off and don't take me with you." She grabbed Judge's ass and smiled when she jumped, blinked a few times and looked down at her. "Are ya back 'cuz if ya ain't then I get ta have some more fun?" She raised her hands towards Judge's breasts and yelped from her stomping on her foot. Grabbing her foot, she hopped up and down. "You could've said yes I'm back instead of crippling me."

Judge looked around them and rubbed her face with both hands. "Guess I kinda blanked out there for a minute huh?"

"Ohh you could say for longer than a minute and just be thankful I carry a badge or you would be in police custody right now, a customer service agent narked on ya and I got to handcuff you." She winked. "Wanna try it again later and see where it leads us?"

"Right to the house of extreme pain and I'm talking about your pain." She rubbed her temple and sighed. "Forget what I just said, thank you for saving my stupid ass again, I have no idea why I hit that guy other than he pissed me off."

"No apology needed, I enjoyed every second up until ya smashed my toes." She took Judge's hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "Let's go home, I'm hungry and I'm sick of all these freaky ass people."

************

Mama D looked around her kitchen and then held out a finger towards a chair where a little bald dog sat with her head tilted to the side. "Wait until your mother gets here, I'm gonna plant a foot up her ass." She tossed a piece of turkey to Woobie and then went back to making sandwiches for Smootcher and Stewie. "I can't believe she left you all alone in her house, so what if you had 20lb of dog food and a five gallon drinking fountain." She watched Woobie grin and shake her head. "You have my permission to tear up all her underwear and pull the insoles out of her shoes." She tossed her another piece of turkey and then sat down next to her. "So is she as big a clean freak as I've heard, you're kinda weird so it must have rubbed off from her." She ran her fingers through the sparse hair on Woobie's head and snickered. "Just wait until she sees what I made for you."

"How we gonna explain that we got her dog?" Smootcher asked and grabbed one of the sandwiches.

Mama D rolled her eyes and tapped the gold house key that lay on the table. "Daaah, I'm gonna tell her that she drove over for supper and decided to stay. I'm gonna tell her that her secretary brought her over what did you think?"

Smootcher shrugged her shoulders and ate with her mouth open. "Guess we better come up with an excuse for her underwears being all over our bedrooms and then the few missing ones." Her eyes grew wide with what she had let slip. "Uhhmm…STEWIE!" She screamed and ran from the kitchen and what would be a very painful explanation.

************

Judge turned her car off, stretched and then looked over to a sleeping Murphy; they had fled the airport and driven straight to Murphy's home without stopping. It was not as if it took them hours to get there, they were only 50 minutes at best when traffic was light. Judge had driven the distance numerous times and after sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, she now booked flights at odd hours to avoid it all. Now that they were home, she was having mixed feelings about parting from her friend. If not for the small blonde, she could very well be a new patient in the nutward or fighting for the top spot in the local jail. She continued to watch Murphy sleep until she heard blood-curdling screams coming from the backyard. "I really hate to do this but if I don't wake you up something very nasty might happen to me." She leaned towards her and whispered in her ear. "Murph, we're home and I can smell food cooking." Brushing her hair back from her ear, she tried again. "I smell roasted chicken and cornbread…" green eyes blinked open, Murphy turned her head and felt warm moist lips brush against hers.

Murphy groaned and moved in closer so that their lips were touching. "As much as I want to explore this closeness, food wins out." She gave her a soft kiss and slipped from the passenger side, Judge fell forward and threw a hand out to keep from falling out the door. She blinked and took a deep shuddering breath; just the soft kiss had her head spinning and her blood roaring in her ears. "Come on before all the food is gone or touched." She reached in and grabbed Judge by her hand. "You act like we've never done that before," she pulled her out of the car and then closed the door. "We could neck later so ya don't get all weirded out when I kiss you."

"I don't even think so…I don't like kissing or anything that ends in the transference of bodily secretions or fluids…it's unsafe…" from the force of Murphy's body, she fell backwards on the hood of the car and moaned when her mouth was taken in a deep kiss that made her forget everything around them. When the kiss broke, they lay wrapped in each other's arms and gasping for breath.

"Ya know for someone who doesn't like kissing you do it awful well." Murphy slid off Judge and then pulled her off the hood. "Let's go eat before I fall over from starvation." She pulled a still shocked Judge after her and then flinched from the screams getting closer to them, before she could do anything; her sisters knocked them down and smothered them.

"YOU'RE HOME!" They both screamed and dog piled Judge and Murphy.

"Will you two get off them, what're ya tryin to do kill 'em?" Mama D asked and grabbed a foot that was sticking up. "Moronic idiots, I swear I shoulda raised goldfish, fishing worms or sea monkeys." She pulled Smootcher from the pile and then used her foot to push Stewie off and into the grass. "Now get in the house suppers getting cold." She jumped at Stewie and Smootcher and watched as they ran up the front steps and into the dark house. Murphy laid spread eagle in the grass with Judge lying on top of her; she groaned and tried to move her arms. Judge groaned and lifted her head from where it was nestled against Murphy's breasts; she snorted and rolled off to lie in the grass beside her. "Well come on and get your asses up, now I got four retards to look after." She mumbled and went in to make sure that the other two were not getting into trouble.

"What did she mean by four retards?" Judge asked and looked over to see emerald green eyes watching her.

"Mama just adopted you that's what it means…" a crooked grin graced her face and one brow rose rakishly. "When we have sex will it be incest?"

**************

Judge stopped in her tracks in the kitchen and pointed a shaky finger at her dog, she looked around to Murphy and then to mama who was pointing at a chair next to Woobie. "That's my dog…"

"Boy are you observant," mama said and shook her finger at the chair. "Now sit your ass down before I get the fly swatter." Judge moved around the table and then dropped into it while holding eyes with her dog. "I'll tell you how I got her as soon as we eat."

Judge nodded her head and grabbed the bowl that was shoved right in front of her; she looked at the thick mashed potatoes and heard her stomach rumble from hunger. Spooning some on to her plate, she passed it on to Murphy and took the bowl of peas that came in front of her. She had never eaten like this before, plates, bowls circled the table, and then cornbread muffins flew through the air to each person. With never having been in a real family type situation, she wondered if this was how all families ate supper. When she felt a hand rub her thigh, she looked over at Murphy and watched as a small smirk came over her face.

"Not used to this huh," she waved her fork at all the food tossed back and forth. "You should see when we have a family get together, now that's some heavy duty eating and food tossing."

"You're right I've never experienced anything like this but this is a good experience…"

Mama tossed her a can of Coke. "Might make ya a little more human now eat so we can have pie and ice cream." After they had eaten, mama pulled out her pies, whipped cream and ice cream. Judge watched as Murphy stuck her finger into each one and got smacked with a dishtowel for her horrible manners. For some strange reason the fact that Murphy had put her finger into the pies didn't bother her nor that she herself hadn't used sterile utensils or other items that were normal for her to eat with. With her bowl of raspberry pie covered with French vanilla ice cream in hand, she followed Murphy out onto the back porch.

"Your choice," Murphy whispered to her. "You sit on my lap or I sit on yours?"

"Why are you asking me a strange question like that and nothing like that will ever happen," Judge got shoved and spun around in a circle and saw that two of the three seats were taken, next came mama who took the swing which left one chair for both her and Murphy. "You set this up didn't you?"

"Now sit your ass down my ice cream is melting and making my pie soggy." Murphy pushed her down into the chair and then climbed onto her lap; she leaned back into Judge's left side and looked at her with amused eyes. "Are ya comfy, I am, can I have some of your pie?" She wiggled her brows and knew that Judge had gotten the 'real' question because her face was bright red. "You are so easy to rile," she leaned into her and whispered into her ear. "I'll wait as long as I have to but some day I'll be more than your tormentor."

Mama snorted. "She'll be more of a pain in your ass and hope ya don't mind spectators 'cuz you'll get those to." She said and nodded her head at the two gawking retards. "For the retards there, watching you two is better than watching Showtime at 2am." Judge groaned when Murphy wiggled around on her lap and then it got worse when Woobie jumped up there to stare at her along with everyone else.

"Y'all trying to push me off the deep end aren't ya?" She shook her head, after such a short time she had started to sound just like the Whistlers; she hoped their other habits did not rub off as well.

*******

After Judge had left for home mama pulled Murphy into the living room, sat her down and looked at her as if she was a strange creature. Not that she didn't think that about her kids anyway, but Murphy was different to her, she couldn't put her finger on it but she would figure it out. "What happened when ya'll were gone, ya'll seem a little weird?"

Murphy became somber and dropped her brows over her nose in concentration, leaning back in the chair; she crossed one ankle over her knee. "Mama ya would not believe the house that Judge's parents live in," she threw her arms out to the side. "It's a mansion mama, with maids, a butler, a cook and who knows how many other people work there. But ya know I didn't like it, it's impersonal and too big. And ya know that Judge never had a bedroom in the main living areas, the butler said her room was in the servants area, not like she was ever there anyways." She sighed and shook her head. "She told me about being shipped off when she was five and coming home for the holidays to find out that her parents were off to a foreign country. Mama, she has never even had a key to her parent's house and she has to go in through the servant's door whenever she shows up." She went on to tell mama about how Judge was treated in the short time she was there and then what she had done to the Bloodstones right before they left. Mama sat quietly taking it all in and then her fuse went, she clenched her fists and pounded them on the arm of her chair.

"I woulda done worse, they woulda had to call in contractors ta fix their damn mansion! Treating a child like that…Hell an adult like that!" She stood up and began to pace the floor in front of her daughter. "What kinda people send their baby away to boarding school?" She stopped and looked into amused green eyes. "Stop looking at me like that you little troll."

"Ya yelled about all us kids always under foot when we were younger, you're ranting and raving about Judge's past and we all know ya got your wing around her, mama you're a big softy." She got up from her chair and gave her a big hug. "Thanks mama."

********

Judge opened the front door and watched as Woobie ran past her and jumped onto the couch, she shook her head and sighed. Her dog wore a blue windbreaker with Mama D's Bounty Hunters in white lettering across the back. "I leave you alone for a day and a half and you cause enough noise that the neighbors call the police, who called Belinda and some how mama ends up with your rotten little ass." She looked around her living room and swore that something was out of place but she just didn't know what. "The Hell with it, I'm stuffed from mama's cooking and I'm exhausted from the last two days." She stood looking down at Woobie and pointed a finger towards the bedroom. "Well get going and don't think you're wearing that bulletin board to bed." She followed after her but still couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was off about her house, she pushed it to the back of her mind and went into her bathroom to take a shower. After tossing her clothes into the proper hampers, she noticed a spot of color in the white hamper and slowly stepped forward. After sorting through the dirty clothes, she found her blue silk g-string among the whites and knew that someone had been in there.

Looking over her bathroom with a critical eye, she found another discrepancy, there was a blue towel hanging with her pure white ones. As she stalked from room to room, she found other splashes of color around the place and knew for certain that two women were behind the act. "There's…color where there shouldn't be and I'm running through my house bare ass naked with the curtains open!" She high tailed it back to the bathroom, slammed the door and locked it; a second later, she unlocked the door and opened it to make sure Murphy wasn't around. "She's got me going nuts in my own house!"

*********

Murphy sighed and shook her head for the umpteenth time; Smootcher and Stewie were jumping all around her as she sat on her bed. "Forget it I'm not telling you two a damn thing…I don't kiss and tell!" She gave them a smug look and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Since when," Stewie asked and dropped down beside her. "Ya always tell us and give explicit details!"

"So tell us before we make something up, call Judge and repeat it back ta her!" Smootcher grinned, she knew that got her, lying always got them what they wanted.

"Bitches, we didn't do anything, I kissed her and that's it now get outta my room ya retards." Moving down into her bed, she fluffed up her pillow and then turned onto her side to look more closely at it. Dropping her face close to the pillow, she took a deep breath and moaned. "This isn't mine, its Judge's pillow," a wide grin came over her face, she knew how it had gotten in her room, she would thank them later. "Ohh is she gonna be mad when she goes to bed." Burying her face into the soft pillow, she drifted off to sleep.

*************

Judge blinked and rubbed at her blurry eyes, she hadn't slept the night before because of the strange pillow with the familiar scent that lingered on the worn cotton pillow case. Leaning back in her chair, she yawned and tried not to fall asleep. "Are those all your real teeth or did ya have 'em capped like all the other rich bottom feeding lawyers?"

Judge opened one eye, took in the serious expression on Belinda's face and couldn't help but give her a crooked grin. "They're all mine and not one single filling," she waved a hand at her overflowing in box. "Where did all these folders come from, before I left, my desk was a barren surface?"

"Ohh I thought I'd clean out my own desk and hide it all in here," she stepped forward and riffled through the folders until she came to the one she was looking for. "This is a beauty, it came in while you were…where ever, I think ya should slap the shit outta this bitch and get as much as you can for the Whistlers."

Judge raised her left brow and took the folder from her, flipping it open, she read the cover sheet and grinned as if she had swallowed a canary. "I got the bitch now, call her attorney for me and tell him I wanna deal or I'm taking this to the judge."

She rifled through the remaining folders and found two that were full of coupons from the newspaper and Food lion, she was about to scream for Belinda when an evil idea came to her. She pulled her scissors from the drawer and started to cut out each coupon and then she put them into order according to product and then alphabetized them before placing them into a small plastic note card box. The sound of her stomach growling and Belinda stepping into her doorway told her that it was time for the older woman to head on home for the day. She held up the box to her and gave her another one of her evil grins before getting up from her chair. "I think you put those folders in there just so that I'd cut up all your coupons for you." She knew the minute Belinda's husband had to sort through the small box, he'd scream, he was a disorderly person and hated any kind of order in his life; he was like Judge's polar opposite and she couldn't help but terrorize him every chance she got.

"Damn right I did, I hate cutting them things out but you know my old man would have a shit fit if we went shopping without them, he's like the coupon grand Pooh-Bah or something. Before I forget, I left a message for that rich bitche's lawyer. I couldn't understand what his secretary was saying; damn woman speaks some damn foreign language so I don't know if he's out of town or his mind, not much of a difference if he hired that damn 'no speaka English person." With that, she was out the door and clumping down the narrow steps to the ground floor. It wasn't surprising that the lawyer's secretary didn't speak good English; a large majority of the people in the Loudon county area was from different countries. She found it hard even going through the drive thru window at Burger King, how can you place an order if the person on the other end doesn't speak English. And pay phones, ATM's and the credit card readers at stores were another pet peeve of hers. Why should anyone in America have to hit a button to pick English, Judge felt that her rights were taken away with the placement of that little button?

"Sons of bitches should either learn English or go the Hell back to their own shithole country!" She slammed her hand on her desk and then sighed. "I sound like a Whistler, but I'm right and I don't care what anyone says about it." Grabbing the things that she needed to take home, she left her office and made sure that she locked the door. There was nothing of value in her or Belinda's offices but there were court papers that could get destroyed and cause a lot of hassle in the system. "What should I stop and get for supper or should I attempt to cook and not turn it into char broiled goo?" She gazed down at her watch and shrugged her shoulders, it was early for her to be leaving the office and it felt weird to be doing so. "I guess I could stop and get a pizza, cheese bread sticks and a gallon of milk to go with…beer, I want beer." She jogged out the door and across to where she had parked her car, after tossing everything into the back seat, she climbed in and took off to the center of town and to Pizza Hut. She never paid attention to the large black truck behind her or the fact that it was right on her bumper.

Stewie looked in the back seat to Murphy. "So do ya think she blew a gasket when she got home?"

Murphy rolled her eyes and fell back into the seat with a moan. "What do ya think, you two played with all her underwears, ran through her house doing who knows what and ya don't think she didn't? Please, this is Judge the COD nutcase who can tell if ya walked on her yard 'cuz the grass will be bent the wrong way."

Smootcher tapped the box that sat between herself and Stewie and whined. "But we only played with the ones we found in this box, she shouldn't have the UPS guy just leave her packages on her step, strange weirdo peoples could steal 'em!"

*********

Judge pulled into the Pizza Hut parking lot, parked close to the front door and then made sure that she had everything she needed before getting out of her car. She had to make sure that she had her survival kit of sanitary and protective items, restaurants were a biohazard zone and every ounce of help against germs was necessary. As she cleared the door, she heard a cat call whistle and spun around to give the person a piece of her mind or at the least the finger. When smiling green eyes came into view, she gave up the idea of flipping her off, used both middle fingers, and then pumped her arm in the lady like manner of the same gesture. "God damn freaks," she lowered her voice and checked to make sure that no one was paying too close attention to them. "Are you three freaks following me?"

"And what if we are," Murphy asked and moved into her personal space. "Are ya man enough ta do something about it?" She bumped her chest with Judge's stomach and jumped from the hard jab she felt. "What ya got in your shirt that's hard…" she winked. "If ya say something nasty I'll take ya home and we can have some fun for all of three minutes until I pass out."

"She ain't lying none either," Smootcher snickered.

"Three minutes my ass, two and that's pushing it; little twit only has time ta yell God before it's over." Stewie informed a red-faced Judge. "And that's with foreplay included," she slapped hands with Smootcher. "We have thin walls." She grinned evilly and then jumped behind Smootcher to avoid Murphy's foot that shoot back at her.

Judge moved away from the door and walked closer to where she would be ordering her pizza, she turned back and took in how the three sisters were dressed and raised an inky eyebrow at them. "What are you guys, bad knock offs from the Matrix movie?" She touched the collar of Murphy's long black leather trench coat and felt tingles go up her arm from warm soft leather.

Stewie waved a hand and jumped up and down. "Yep that's us, Murph's Zero, Smootch is Dorkiest and I'm…"

A retard that needs her ass kicked," mama said and pushed past her kids to stand between them and Judge. "You got my permission to smack the shit outta them if they need it." Taking Judge by her larger hand, she pulled her over to a table and then pushed her down onto the bench. "Ya ain't in no hurry so you're eating with us."

"I can't mama, I've got Woobie waiting at home and I have tons of work to do and…" she gave up and just dropped her head in defeat when dark brown bi-speckled eyes zeroed in on her. "I can take her some breadsticks and the work can wait for a while."

Murphy slid onto the bench next to her, dropped her hand on her upper thigh and gave her a wink. "Mama's a convincing woman ain't she, besides ya need ta sit down and be with abnormal people for a change."

"Speak for yourself, I'm more normal than I'm supposed to be, after all I raised a bunch of freaks and retards and I've kept almost all of my sanity." Mama took the menu and then smacked all at the table when they reached for the other three that the server was holding. "Paws back on the table I'm ordering and there ain't a damn thing any of ya can do about it." Mama ordered a pizza with every topping she could get without it ending up weighing a ton, to go with it; she ordered a pitcher of milk. Murphy gawked at the thing when the server placed it in the center of the table; she had hoped that mama would have at least ordered a pitcher of Coke. "Ya'll thought I was gonna order beer didn't ya, NOT! We all drove here and driving after drinking is against the law, so get over it." She went about pouring everyone a glass of milk and stuck her tongue out at a bunch of laughing teenagers. "Laugh it up ya rotten little bastards, I can get all your pictures on the side of the carton!" She waved a meaty fist at them and grinned when they got up and left the restaurant.

************

Two well-dressed men sat across the restaurant watching Judge with the Whistlers, the older of the two pulled a cell phone from his coat pocket and hit speed dial. "Boss, she's here with the same woman that she brought back to the mansion." He flinched and looked to his friend. "Yes Ma'am the same one, in fact she's eating with a whole table of women."

"I told you to call me if she beds any women, I don't give a damn if she's eating with a whole table of them, unless she's got one on the table top!"

He flinched at the loud click in his ear and then tossed the phone in the center of the table. "Next time you call that crazy bitch," he pointed to the phone and then crossed his arms over his chest. "Now didn't she say to call her if Judge was with any woman at any time especially the little blonde haired one?"

"That's exactly what she said and that's exactly what we've done every time we've seen Judge with a woman. Now exactly what is wrong with her being near a woman is beyond me, she's a dyke for Gods sakes, she's supposed ta be with women. And we've been watching her for," he looked down at his watch and back to his friends irritated face. "Exactly 19 years, three months, 15 days…" He jumped and fumbled with his glass of Coke. "I wasn't finished and why'd you kick me?"

"Why do you have to put the word 'exactly' in between every damn word in a sentence?"

"Because my mama smacked the shit outta me the last time we were home for saying 'fuck' too many times so I'm trying to clean up my language, so there."

"If you don't knock it off they'll be putting 'exactly' what killed you on your fucking tombstone, me." He took the plates that the server handed him and then kept an eye on the table where Judge was sitting, he didn't know why her mother wanted her watched like this but they had been doing it for more years than he cared to admit. As far as he was concerned, poor Judge hadn't been quite right since she was released from the so called treatment center, she was half a person and his opinion was that the best part was left behind. He liked her when she showed some fire and bucked against the system. He often wondered if she knew that they were watching her, they never got close enough for her to see them and sometimes they went weeks without even bothering. She kept the same routine so all they had to do was drive past at certain hours and she would be where she always was at that particular time. "After supper what would ya say to a few hours of playing in the casino, maybe our girls will be in there?"

"Sounds good but this time you're paying the drink tab, I've gotten stuck with it three weeks in a row."

"And you're full of shit, drinks are free if you're playing the slots, those waiters are ripping your simple ass off."

"Damn I wondered why they always grinned and ran away after I gave them money."

********

Murphy pointed to where the two men sat talking and nudged Stewie. "Hey ain't those the guys who almost jumped our bumper hitch?" Everyone turned to look at the two men who at that moment were looking at them. For a few seconds they all just sat staring at each other before mama's huge pizza was placed in the center of the table. Nothing in the world could distract the Whistlers from food; a full-fledged family war couldn't do it so two men starring was nothing. "Ooohh mama you out did yourself this time!" She said and pulled a thick slice from the pan to put on her plate. "Well come on Judge Dread dig in before we leave ya with crusts." Seeing that Judge was just going to sit and watch everyone take what they wanted, she grabbed a slice, placed it on her plate and then stole a piece of pepperoni from the top. "Now don't get all COD on us, just eat and enjoy our fine company." She grabbed the sterile utensils from Judge's pocket and placed them under her thigh. "And don't you dare spray us down with Lysol; it'll ruin the flavor of the greasy cheese."

After wiping her fork until there was almost no shininess to the metal, she placed it over her pizza. "I wouldn't dream of it," she cut a piece of her pizza with a fork and looked up when everyone gasped. "What, this is how I eat pizza; otherwise your hands get all messy…" She placed her fork down and picked up her pizza and ate it like everyone else in the world did, when her hands shook from having grease all over them, she felt a calming hand on her forearm and looked into green eyes that gave her strength. "I can do this…it's only grease."

"I would love to see how you eat BBQ ribs," Mama said and used her napkin to wipe sauce from her chin. "Bet ya wear a garbage bag to keep clean."

************

Mrs. Bloodstone slammed her hand down on the tabletop and growled deep in her chest, she spun around, jabbed a finger in the direction of the shivering maid and howled like a banshee. "YOU'RE FIRED!" Storming from the sitting room, she headed down the hall to where her husband was hiding in his den. She flung the door open hard enough that it crashed into the opposite wall and sent a framed picture of her father that hung on the other wall to the floor. "Your hired thugs are assholes, they can't follow simple orders, I want new ones and I want them NOW!"

Without looking up from his papers, he replied in a monotone voice. "Why don't you go and hire your own spies and leave me alone, better yet, go take your daily 26 pills times six and wash them down with that rotgut you call Cognac?" His patience was wearing thin where his wife and daughter were concerned, after what Murphy had done to both of them that night; he had washed his hands of his daughter. He just wished that his wife would do the same and then find something else to waste his money on. "If it'll make you happy, I called our attorney today and told him to closeout her trust fund and take her grandmothers inheritance as well, plus all she gets when we die is a dollar."

"I want everything back that we ever spent on her and that includes the nanny service, diapers, food…EVERYTHING!" She screamed and stomped her feet before storming from his den to terrorize the only maid they had left. She had fired almost all of the staff that week and they were having problems getting anyone else to come in and replace the ones they had lost, it seemed that the temporary services refused to answer their phones when he called. "Everyone has damn caller ID nowadays, I should see about having a law passed that you can't have it!" He went back to his paperwork and forgot all about what his wife had said.

************

Woobie sat on the floor on a piece of newspaper at Judge's feet eating her cheese bread sticks and giving her mistress evil looks, when Judge had tried to sneak into her own house, she found a pissed off little dog waiting for her. What struck Judge as odd was the fact that all her shoes were right in front of the door, she was waiting to find all her clothes not far behind and a note from her dog saying she was kicking her ass out for being late. Glancing down from where she was working on her paperwork, she stuck her tongue out at Woobie and took a bite of a breadstick. "OOhhh come on now, you would think that I left for a week and forgot to feed you all together. And what is the deal with my shoes; you've never bothered them before?" She glanced to Woobie and back up to where her laptop had finally loaded the page for her bank account. "Let's see how much I can piss them off, I can see mother having a coronary and falling off her expensive love seat." She opened a new account under JT Webster, Woobie's registered name. Moved all her money around and closed out two of the five accounts. "I have this feeling that the assholes are gonna try and take my inheritance and my trust fund, money that I've never even touched. Now see if they can touch what's not there, not even mother's investigators will be able to find it." She was about to log off when the AOL Instant message window popped up.

Freakme1: You should really get a Firewall and you're buying supper from now on!

Judge blinked and shook her head, she had no idea who Freakme1 was or how they knew what she had just done. She raised her hands to her keyboard and hesitated before typing a response. TheLawOne: Who are you?"

Freakme1: I'm your love slave and I gots your blue G-string with the 'lil angel wings on the front!"

TheLawOne: OK, which freak are you? She typed back with relief.

Freakme1: Ohh I'm the sexy one, the bomb shelter of the neighborhood!"

Judge choked on her coffee and wiped at her nose, there was only one freak that she knew that sucked at slang.

TheLawOne: Smootcher, you're an ass! OK, how do you know what I was doing on my PC and what's a firewall?

Freakme1: I hacked your PC and snuck right on in, Murph's on her way over to fix your PC and no more bank transactions before she fixes it, c-ya Hotty!

TheLawOne: C-ya. She replied and sat starring at her screen. "A firewall and someone's gonna explain all of this to me or else." She was about to sign off when she heard a loud pounding on her door and heard the chime for Instant Messenger come back on.

Freakme2: Let me in so I can play with your PC and files!

"Sick bitch, no one plays with those!" She jumped from her chair and jogged to the front door; she peeked through the curtains and grinned when Murphy saw the movement, jumped and almost dropped her cell phone. "Gotcha little dweeb," she pulled the door open and waited for Murphy to step inside. "Now explain to me what you're going to do to my PC and it better not break it."

"What no Hi how are you would you like to be sexually assaulted, be chained to my bed and covered with chocolate," she watched as Judge's eyes turned dark and knew she had better explain the firewall before she found out how unpleasant the Charlestown jail was. "OK, this is what it does; it keeps hijackers and other PC's from getting into your PC while you're on-line."

"You mean like Smootcher did a few minutes ago…damn it to Hell!" she threw her hands in the air and pointed to her PC. "Could this have been going on the entire time I've had my PC, I mean I do my banking and all kinds of stuff and that includes buying stuff on-line but of course you guys know all about that?"

Murphy snickered and nodded her head. "That and so much more, you really shouldn't have a diary on your PC, unless it's gonna be steamy… which yours isn't." As she walked through Judge's house, she looked around for any changes, her sisters had sworn that they hadn't been inside Judge's house and she believed them. It was the dripped motor oil in the street and in Judge's driveway, which said that someone other than them had been there.

"That reminds me," she jabbed a finger into Murphy's chest. "Tell your freaky sisters to stay outta my dirty laundry, besides trespassing on private property, breaking and entering and a few other things that I could put on the list, it's just plain gross."

Murphy shook her head and dropped down into the chair in front of Judge's computer. "Wasn't them and they wouldn't lie about it," she spun the chair and looked into pale blue eyes. "All they did was play with the new underwear they found on your porch, you really shouldn't just have them drop packages there, it's just plan unsafe."

"Normally I would have been here to get the box; but they shipped it sooner than I thought they would. Why am I telling you that, you probably already know when it was supposed to be here?" Glancing down at the worn leather slippers on Murphy's feet, she grinned. "What no PJ's to go with?"

"Count yourself as lucky; I was going to come as was, naked." She placed the program disk into the CDRW and waited for it to come up on the screen, hitting the proper keys; she sat back and let it load. "Now in a few minutes you'll be safe from hackers and other creeps that want your goodies, me excluded of course."

*************

After Murphy left, Judge wandered around her house with a dust rag and furniture wax to remove any microscopic traces of dust or dirt. She tried to just sit down, read a book or watch TV but she just couldn't do it knowing that there was dust all over her house. Now with all the dust gone and her hands slippery from the polish, she dropped down onto the couch to look at Woobie. "I should put little dust rags on your feet and you can dust while you run around the house." When her dog gave her a disgusted look and jumped off the couch to head off to her bedroom, she leaned back and sighed from exhaustion. "I should go to bed before I end up sleeping at the foot of my bed because of a tiny little dog hogging my pillow, or run the firewall and Spyware programs to clean any traces of Internet mumbo jumbo that I still don't understand." She went over to where she had left her now protected laptop next to her other PC and just looked at it with drooping eyes. "I can do it later, it's not like anyone can get in if they're not turned on." She stumbled off to bed and never noticed her PC flickering back to life or the programs starting up all on their own.

"OK Stewie we can still get in and watch what she does," Smootcher snickered and sent a picture to Judge's PC, they had set it up that it was almost like they were working on their own computer instead of one a few miles away. "OK that should do it, nothing like having a good background picture to stare at all day long." She slapped hands with her sister and shut down Judge's PC. "I'll get her laptop tomorrow when she turns it on."

"Ya know Murphy's gonna blow a gasket, she doesn't know that we put a back door in the firewall program."

"She'll get over it when we show her the hotty's shopping list from Victoria's secret; ya know she has a thing fer those lil silk boxers."

****************

Belinda waved a hand at Judge to draw her closer to her cluttered desk; she had been waiting for the tall lawyer to get back ever since she left to get her lunch. She had to warn her about the man whom had been insistent about waiting for her inside her office and wouldn't take the small woman bodily blocking the door or threatening to call the deputy from downstairs seriously. She had no idea who he was but she didn't like him at all, he had the air of superiority and given half the chance she would push him down the stairs. "Come here and make it snappy," she hissed and then pulled Judge down by the lapels of her jacket. "There's some asshole in your office, I tried to." She had no choice but to let Judge go when she jumped up and ran into her office. "One of these days I'm gonna push her down the steps." She went after her boss and took her stand in the doorway to watch.

With one look at the intruder, Judge's dormant temper flared. "What the Hell are you doing behind my desk?!" Judge bellowed and walked forward to rip the folder from the man's hand. "Get up before I knock your teeth down your throat!"

He smiled to show pure white capped teeth, stood slowly and moved stuff around on her desk just to irritate her more. "Good to see you to Judge but I must say you are far to thin nowadays," he walked around to stand in front of her desk and then splayed his arms out to the side. "I see you still have your germ problem, isn't the medication working, maybe I should contact your doctor to have it changed?"

"Go to Hell and get the fuck out of my office!" Her face was changing to crimson and the veins in her neck started to bulge a purplish color, Belinda jumped and ran back to her desk to make a phone call. "I don't want any of you lackey's anywhere near me or even in the same State that I reside in!"

He shrugged off her verbal assault, brushed off his cashmere sleeve of imagined lint and gave her a million dollar smile. "Come now Judge, your parents are worried sick about you so they sent me to check up on you. He placed a sealed envelope on her desk and dropped casually into one of the chairs in front of it. "Now let's speak about the bank transactions that you did last night, your father is livid about you closing out those accounts without his permission."

Judge slammed her palms down on to her desk, leaned forward and growled deep in her throat. "Go fuck yourself…" she felt the Judge from years ago resurfacing and felt her heart start to pound erratically in her chest from both fear and surprise. "That is my money and I can do what ever I want with it, so tell my parents to go fuck themselves as well, now get the fuck out!" Her eyes swung to her doorway and she felt more strength flow through her now shaking body. "Get this filth out of here and make sure he remembers what happens to trespassers." A feral smile came across her face when the Whistler sisters grabbed the stunned man by his arms and yanked him from the office. "They must have sent him on the damn family jet the second they found out about my accounts." She said to herself and then dropped into her chair to stare at the pure white envelope sitting before her. With a trembling hand, she reached for the envelope and then watched as it was taken by a smaller hand.

"Who the Hell was that and should I stop my sisters from hanging him?" Murphy asked and examined the envelope.

"My parents accountant slash pitbull, Mr. Bandenson does all their dirty work including keeping me from what is mine. Or so they think, I have my own accountant that looks after things and the best thing about her is she hates my parents as much as the rest of the world does, so whatever they do to him for failing, he deserves and much more." She gulped for air and felt her eyes start to water from the exertion of not breathing between words. "The bank must have contacted them as soon as they saw that I closed out some of my accounts, I should have done it years ago. Moved them to someplace like the Bahamas or Switzerland, but this is good to, they can't get to my money." She reached for the envelope and wasn't surprised when Murphy hid it behind her back. "Ohh come on Murph, give me the damn thing."

Murphy shook her head and took a few steps back away from Judge and her desk; she raised the envelope up to the bright lights and whistled under her breath. "I can't let ya open this…its baaaad." She could see a seal of sorts through the envelope, knew that anything with a seal was bad, and she should burn it just because. "I'll open it and break the news ta ya gently," she wiggled a brow and licked her lips. "I can be really gentle when I wanna be and with you I can be like silk." She tore open the envelope, pulled the stiff paper from within and shook it open. After reading the letter, she handed it over to Judge with a low mumbling curse. "Burn them sons of bitches, low living scum sucking people like them shoulda been drowned at birth!" She saw a silvery gleam come into pale blue eyes and gulped. "I take that back, you wouldn't have been born if that happened and I would be without some very hot sexual fantasies."

"And we'd be without material to laugh hysterically about," Smootcher said from where they lurked in the doorway. "That guy is gone but he left without some pieces and parts…"

"To his fancy smancy car that is," Stewie said and waved some chrome parts in the air. "I can have mama sell this stuff on E-Bay, got the cat off his hood to." She tossed it to Judge and grinned when she placed it on a shelf behind her. "Nice little knick-knack, want his watch to?" She dangled his diamond encrusted gold Rolex from a finger.

"No you guys can sell that, with the money you could by a house or a couple of cars, just about anything you all would want or need." She read the letter and dropped it in the trash with a flourish. "They can kiss my ass, that is my money and I can do what ever I want with it."

Stewie winked at Judge. "Like buy an island in the South Pacific…Jefferson County…us lunch and Murphy some more batteries for her vibrator!" She ran down the steps and away from what would be a very painful kick in her ass, or so she thought.

"Or maybe you could buy me an electric one, damn batteries don't last long at all."

*************

Bandenson waited until the phone on the other end picked up and was thankful in a way that it was Mr. Bloodstone; he hated having to talk with the old battle-axe as all referred to Mrs. Bloodstone. "Sir I tried but your daughter has three…henchman who dragged me down some thirty steps, down a hallway and then threw me in the middle of the street before they destroyed my new Jaguar!" He was still pissed over losing parts off the car, it would be a royal bitch explaining to his wife how he let three women beat him senseless and then take parts off her beloved car. "I didn't even get three words in before they showed up; I did leave her the letter stating that unless the money was returned to you, she would be subpoenaed to court."

"Are you ignorant," Mr. Bloodstone asked. "She's a damn good lawyer and will know that there's not a damn thing that I can do about her moving her money. Where the Hell did you get that stupid ass idea…oohh wait, the old bitch I'm married to, gave you the idea didn't she?"

Bandenson cleared his throat and then answered in a soft voice. "She said that Judge was a horrible lawyer and would fall for it because your money bought her that degree."

"That's bullshit and if you haven't noticed, she's the District attorney for Jefferson County. She didn't get that by way of money, she got that job by being voted in, so don't underestimate my daughters capabilities in her profession, just leave her alone, she'll more than destroy herself because of her neurosis."

"Yes sir and that is another thing, her doctor has changed her prescription to stronger doses and that is to be delivered today along with some instructional CD's that he thinks she will find helpful."

"Do me a huge favor and don't ever call me again about what ever the Hell it is that you're doing where my daughter is concerned, you and my wife are the main reasons she's so damn insane and I'm getting closer to joining Judge in her rubber room!" He slammed the phone down and hoped that Bandenson was now deaf in one ear.

"I swear the whole fucking family is insane, if it wasn't for all the money I've gotten from them legally and otherwise, I'd find other employment!" He tossed his cellphone on the passenger seat and sped off towards the nearest Interstate and home.

**********

An hour later, the Whistlers watched as Judge charged into the courtroom just as the bailiff was closing the doors, they found it hilarious that as anal as she was about things, promptness wasn't one of them and that she was always running late for the courtroom. This time they were at fault, she wanted to know how they were able to come to her rescue in a matter of seconds, as was the usual, they went into a long version complete with shoving each other for the lead role of story teller. By the time, that Murphy had gotten out that they were already in the building; Belinda was reminding Judge that she was due in court five minutes before. Now with the Whistlers watching her try to get into her chair without falling, she made her apologizes to the Judge and other lawyer.

"Sorry your honor I had an appointment that ran late," she looked around her and realized that she had left her briefcase in her office, although she didn't need it, she felt naked without it. The expression on his Honor's face told her that no matter if she was dying, there was no way in Hell that she was going to leave the courtroom until they were done. Accepting her fate, she sat down and tried not to panic at not having her props. "I bet she'll kiss ya if ya take her briefcase up to her." Stewie handed it to Murphy with a wide grin and a wiggle of her dark brows. "Maybe she'll hire us as body guards and Murph as her pack horse?" They took seats in the galley right behind Judge's table and made snide remarks about the goody two shoes lawyer representing the defendant and their fawning sister who was sitting next to Judge.

"I'm gonna kill them both when court is adjourned," Judge said to Murphy, turned partway and bared her teeth at Smootcher. "Stop it!" She hissed and swung back at her with a tight fist. The slamming of the gavel made Judge jump and before she knew what happened, she was escorted to the lower section of the courthouse with the Whistlers. "I'm gonna kill all three of you!" She screamed and struggled against the bailiff.

"But then you'll have to fight off all the women's in the jail all by yourself." Smootcher said and then rubbed her hands together. "Maybe we can get dates!" Her and Stewie took off running down the hallway and looked into each cell for women of any age or condition. "I wanna be locked in here!" They yelled and howled like wolves when the two young women ran to hide in a corner. "FRESH MEAT! Got any Tabasco sauce on ya Stewie?"

"Aren't you the lucky one," Murphy took Judge's hand and squeezed it. "You and me in a jail cell all alone, the romantic lighting of a bare 20watt light bulb, melodious screams of my sisters victims and all kinds of perverts watching us."

Judge stepped into the open cell and waited for the door to close before she grabbed Murphy by the front of her leather trench coat. "Just wait until mama gets here, I'm going to tell her that it's all the three of you guys' fault that we're locked up and to leave you in here!" She let Murphy go so she could walk in circles in the center of the floor. "I've never been cited with contempt of court before and I didn't do anything to be locked up…I HATE YOU GUYS!"

"Like we've never heard that before, in fact that's what mama said right before she tossed us all out the door this morning." She pulled off her trench coat, placed it on the hard bench and waved Judge over. "Come on have a seat it'll be a while before anyone comes to get us out, mama D's at the office so he'll get a hold of her there."

"Who's he and it better be soon because I hate being locked up…period?"

"Ohh the bailiff, he's related to us somehow but then who isn't related ta us?" She grabbed Judge by her hand and pulled her over to the bench. "Come on I promise not to drool too much or cop any free feels."

"Ohh that makes me feel so much better, I was so worried that I'd become your jailhouse bitch and have to dress and act cheaply."

***********

Mama D sat looking at the four women, two of which sported assorted bruises and scratches. Smootcher looked out from under her makeshift ice bag at Murphy and then stuck her tongue out. "How many times have I told you that straight women are mean, especially the high maintenance ones who wear designer clothes and Italian made stiletto heels?" She looked to her left at a frazzled Judge and flinched from the look she received. "But not all high maintenance women are as nasty as the ones you were with, now Judge here made Martha Stewart's jailhouse designs look shoddy. I bet the cell has never been that clean before, I just can't believe that they brought her the cleaning cart."

Stewie and Smootcher snorted and rolled their eyes, with all the screaming coming from the cell that Judge and Murphy shared, they were all thankful that the guards gave the lawyer anything she wanted. She did push it though, when she asked them for a floor buffer to finish their cell and requested they let her out so she could do the other cells. "We're surprised that we're not all deaf and that they didn't put her in a straight jacket and toss her into solitary confinement." Stewie jumped from her chair and ran out the kitchen door after seeing Judge start to rise from where she sat.

"Well that just gave me an idea," Mama said as she pointed a finger at Smootcher. "Get your idiot sister, the vacuum and all the cleaning supplies, you two are cleaning the basement apartment." When Smootcher's mouth dropped open, she shook her finger. "Don't even try, I know more ways of torture than you'll ever know, cleaning is just one of 'em." Getting up from her chair, she waved a hand at Murphy and Judge. "Murphy take Judge home so she can get cleaned up and make her a strong drink, better yet, she looks like she needs a few of 'em." She left the kitchen and started yelling for her other two kids to hurry their asses up before she beat them down to the basement. Murphy looked Judge over and noticed for the first time the shaking hands that constantly wiped at the dirty smudges on the grey dress pants and pale blue shirt.

"Come on let's get out of here before you pass out from stress." She pulled Judge from her chair and slapped at her fidgeting hands. "Will you stop already; you're making your clothes worse than they already are."

"I need to take a shower…burn my clothes…" her face paled, she started to sway back and forth until Murphy pushed her back into her chair.

"Now listen here Judge Dread, you're acting like a big pussy, where's the Judge I saw in your office today?" She leaned in close and held watering pale blue eyes with her own. "How do we get that Judge to stick around, piss you off every couple minutes?"

"I have no idea and no one wants her around very long, she's dangerous."

"I'm dangerous, mama's dangerous, Hell, air is dangerous. You need to get some backbone and stop the OCD stuff; dirt never killed anyone so get over it." She stood up straight, ran a hand through her hair and then waved a hand towards the door. "Ya got two seconds ta toughen up or I call my sisters and we do a striptease and make ya nauseous."

************

The next morning, Belinda looked into Judge's office and grinned, she would never have believed it if she hadn't seen the paperwork herself. "So how was lock-up, get any dates with the other jailbirds?"

"Haa not funny Belinda," she rifled through some papers and then got up to look through a filing cabinet. "Any idea what I did with the paperwork on that property I have up on the mountain?"

"You mean that plot that you need a chopper to get to?" She went over to the bookshelf and pulled down a worn book on the Civil War. "Where else would you keep it but in this old moldy book, still don't know what this book and that land have to do with each other?"

Judge took the book from her hand and sighed; she had tried to explain it to her before but always failed to make her see the connection. "It's where the CS artillery was set up that fired upon Harpers Ferry, there's still cannon balls up there and all kinds of other stuff from the civil war. One day I'm going to go up there and bring it down for the museum."

"But first you have to get over your aversion to getting your hands dirty."

Judge gave her a small grin and a nod of her head. "Yeah that would kind of help huh, maybe I can hire the Whistlers to go up there and dig stuff up."

Belinda threw a hand out at her and waved it around. "All you would have to do is wink at those three and they'd do anything you asked, ya have the whole damn family smitten with you." She raised a brow at Judge. "Do they know how bad you really are?"

"Murphy does, at least I think she does…I'm not that bad, I've only washed my hands twice in the last 30 minutes, instead of the usual every five minutes." She looked at the papers in her hand and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think I'm that bad and besides they have excellent taste in women and little things like compulsive disorders don't bother them."

"Well you suck at lying and that's a grand total of…one person that it doesn't bother but that's because Murphy's as nuts as you are. Before I forget, you have a meeting with that SUV bitche's lawyer at noon." She jabbed a finger at her. "And I will remind you, drag you from the office and all the way to the diner so that you're not late. This could be the break you need to get the Whistlers their money, no lawyer wants to meet a week before a court date unless they wanna wheel and deal; but of course you know that."

"I don't wheel and deal, I get what I ask for and he had better be able to write the check for his client or she's going to be Martha Stewart's bitch."

*****************

Stanly and Arnold the Bloodstone henchmen, walked up Judge's drive and then around to the back of her house, they had done this so many times that they never worried about her neighbors, plus the fact that they were dressed like the local meter readers helped stop suspicion. Pausing at the back door, they looked around and then picked the lock in a matter of seconds. Stepping inside, they waited for Woobie to come running and give them her usual greeting of wiggling around and whining. "There's our baby girl, have you been rotten to your mistress lately?" Stanly handed her a dog bone and watched as she ran in circles before lying down to eat it. Arnold, the older of the two slapped his forehead.

"Damn I forgot to bring the surgical gloves." He searched through his pockets and came up with some empty gum wrappers and a half melted breath mint. "What ever you do don't touch anything without gloves; ya know Judge can tell if a fly landed on her counter." He looked around and grabbed the pristine oven mitts from a hook above the stove, shoving his large hands into them; he grinned and walked in the direction of Judge's bedroom. Let's see what we can do with her underwear drawer, she goes nuts when it's messed with." Once in Judge's bedroom, the men went in opposite directions and started rearranging the meticulous drawers and closet. They knew this would send the lawyer off the deep end, or they hoped it would. "Ya know I hate doing this, she's not a bad sort but when it came to the money and my family." Arnold said in a low voice as he destroyed the neatness and order in the underwear drawer.

"I know what ya mean," Stanly answered in the same tone. "After this maybe we should just walk away, we both have enough saved that we don't have to worry about working?"

Arnold nodded his head as he moved over to the other side of Stanly, placed one of Judge's black suits in between a pale dove grey shirt and a dark blue one. "It's a deal, after we lock up we head on home and wipe our hands of this whole Bloodstone mess. I've had it with being a low life henchman for that bitch," he looked around as if the woman could hear him from hundreds of miles away. "Ya know maybe we won't have to spend so much on antacid and aspirins after this?" With the thought of being free, he smiled for the first time in years and felt the heavy weight of Mrs. Bloodstone lift from his shoulders. "Hurry up there, if we leave within the next few hours we can make it home to our families for supper!" With more drastic measures than they had planned on doing, the men left Judge's house three hours later. They were glad that they would be nowhere in the area when she came home that night and upset about what they had done at the same time; they genuinely liked the woman but did what they did over the years to protect their families from Mrs. Bloodstone's threats.

*********

"Captain, the atmospheric pressure is dropping; the life support levels are at 20 percent and dropping as well!" Dust swirled around the air making the three women cough and wipe at caked eyes. "The core is red lining and if it goes…we all…go!" She screamed over the whine.

"Plug that hole in the bulkhead, lock down this corridor, I'll override the system and bleed off the warp core and then we pray it works!" A choking voice rang out right before an eerie screech and blinding white light hit the clouded room.

"We're all gonna die!" Another voice rang out and then went silent with a loud thump.

"Ensign Dumbass get that hole plugged now and get the barriers up before you blow us all back to the alpha quadrant!" In minutes, the room began to clear and the women breathed easier, Murphy rubbed at her dust-covered face and blinked tears from her eyes. "That was the stupidest thing you've ever done!" She screamed at Stewie and then cringed when Mama D came down the steps. "It was Stewie's fault…" she pointed a finger at her sister and then looked to where Smootcher was laid out on the floor. "She even tried killing Smootcher; hit her in the head with the vacuum wand." She knew that Mama D didn't believe a word she said but she wouldn't be herself if she didn't try to put all the blame on her sisters or vice versa.

Mama D stood at the bottom of the steps with her hands planted on her hips, looking around at the mess before her, she was ready to kill the kids. "What in the Hell happened down here?"

"Murphy shot the vacuum!" Stewie yelled and ran for cover behind Mama. "I told her the spear gun wasn't a toy…she almost got me!"

Mama looked to where a small spear stuck from the front of her old vacuum and then to where Murphy was trying to hide the spear gun under the couch. "I don't give a damn who did what, get this mess cleaned up before I start kicking ass!" She stopped halfway up the steps and turned to Murphy. "And you three will replace my vacuum," she pointed a chubby finger at her. "Or else, ya got me?"

After mama was upstairs and the basement door closed behind her, Murphy chased Stewie down and knocked her to the floor. Grabbing both her ears, she pulled her up so they were nose to nose. "You suck and you're a big ass chicken shit, you shot the vacuum!"

"But it was your idea so stuff that in your hat and smoke it." Both Stewie and Murphy looked to their sister and rolled their eyes, they wondered if she wasn't really a blonde bimbo in disguise. "Now who in the Hell hit me and with what?" She rubbed her forehead and winced when she touched the huge goose egg. "Next time I get to play Captain Janeway, you suck at it Murph." She rubbed her head and glanced down at them. "What I don't get is where in the series they used a spear gun?"

Murphy let Stewie up from the floor and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know but it sure did a job on the old Hoover."

"Don't know either but it sure did an excellent job on the vacuum and we better get mama a new one or she's gonna kick our asses daily." Stewie looked around at the dust-covered basement and grinned evilly. "I got an idea; get the leaf blower and the big fans." Within a few minutes, the basement was humming with noise and dust was shooting out of the basement windows into the back yard. Stewie used the leaf blower to move the dust towards the fans that Murphy and Smootcher held up to the windows, it wasn't clean but it would be less work later. "All that time and we ain't even close to being done, why we cleaning down here anyways?" That question scared them more than Mama with a wooden spoon or tennis ball.

"It means one or two things, we're moving down here or one of the kids is coming back home."

*************

Judge rushed into the dinner with Belinda right on her heels, her assistant made good on her threat and had in fact chased her from the office with a chocolate covered hand and a threat of wiping it on her ass. She looked around the small place, back at Belinda and growled. "Are you happy now, we're here but that scum sucking asshole isn't…" She saw a gleam come to the older woman's eyes and knew she was in deep shit. "He's right in front of me isn't he and I should just throw myself in front of a semi truck because I'm an ass?"

"I'll forgive you," the attorney said and motioned to the table next to Judge. "My wife calls me a scum sucking bastard at least three times a week," he sat down and waited for Judge and Belinda to do the same. "Now let's get this over with, I can't wait to get rid of that asshole client, she's ruining my reputation. How about we settle with 20 grand and all the charges are dropped?"

Judge laughed, leaned forward on her elbows and dropped her voice a few octaves to what was her dealing voice. "I want $350,000.00 for my clients, all fees paid and your clients driving privileges suspended for the maximum amount of time," she saw his face pale. "Or we go before a jury and I get double the price and she faces jail time after her sentence is served where ever she is now." She gave him a crooked grin. "Didn't know that I knew she was behind bars for the exact same thing she tried to pull here huh?"

He acted as if he hadn't heard the last sentence. "Are you insane, no one gets that kind of money out of a simple attempted…vehicular manslaughter case…ahh fuck it." He knew his client was getting off easy and had expected this, so he pulled a check from his pocket, filled it out and handed it over. "I'll settle with the court on my way home," he stood and then turned to her. "I would have gone higher on the settlement."

"I would have gone lower," Judge said with a small smirk. "But this amount will make my clients very happy, more so that this is all over with." She handed the check to Belinda and stood up from the table so that she would tower over the other attorney. "I'd suggest picking your future clients better, that would do a lot of good towards your reputation."

"My wife says the same thing, good day Bloodstone, may yours be better than mine." He left the two women in the dinner with a nod of his head.

"Maybe if he'd stop chasing ambulances his reputation wouldn't be so bad, his firm advertises in the want ads for Christ sakes." Belinda put the check into her purse and then sat back down. "Come on Judge I'm hungry and your paying," she looked at the menu and then to Judge. "Ya did good Judge; in all my years in the court system I have never seen anyone hand over that much money."

Judge sat down across from her and nodded her head. "Yeah well I've gotten more than that working a case, that money would have been just a drop in the bucket." She looked at the menu and then up to see Belinda's mouth hanging open. "I wasn't always prosecuting attorney; I worked for a huge ass law firm and made seven figures or more a case." She put the menu down and gave her assistant a big smile. "Close your mouth Belinda, you look like one of the Whistlers."

***********

Murphy peeked from behind a pallet of dog food bags and saw that the way was clear, taking off at a sprint; she came to a sliding halt next to where the hunting clothes were. "Stewie, is the coast clear?" She whispered and waited until her sister waved her forward. "Are they here yet?"

Stewie bent over and went eye to eye with her before asking. "Are what here yet and why were you hiding down there with the 'I'm a tree' clothes?"

Murphy rolled her eyes. "The Spidey 2 DVD's and who else would I be hiding from but your wicked aunt, she's been spying on me all night." She looked around and swore she could hear the clumping sound of her clogs coming after her. "Any one tell her yet that the Dutch boy wants his shoes back?"

"No but I've been searching for some termites or hoping for a giant wood pecker to swoop down and start pounding holes in those damn things." She shivered at the sight that came before her eyes, her aunt in black spandex pants, matching sports bra, leg warmers and clogs. "She's like a middle aged jazzercising…Peg Bundy!"

"Ewww her doing Pilates with a bunch of other bee hived old women with their false teeth clicking to Englebert Humperdink music!" The clumping noise came from behind them and sent them scurrying in the opposite direction and into the camouflage hunting clothes. Then clicking noises came from within inches of Stewie's ear and then the snapping of bubble gum.

"Who's Humperdink?" Smootcher asked and moved in between her sisters. "Is it like rap music and can we dance to it?"

Murphy looked down at Smootcher's feet, saw just her tennis shoes and became worried that their boss was hiding somewhere close by. "Where's the boss from Hell and stop that damn gum snapping shit, you know it drives me nuts?"

"She's in the underwear department, we gots some new spandex in." She winked and got up from their hiding spot. "I told her about the leopard print that's supposed ta be in the shipment," she grinned, pulled a sheet of paper from her pocket and waved it in the air. "So she's putting my stock up while looking at the same time, she don't know that I cancelled it; we don't need no damn ugly ass hillbillies in leopard print spandex…spandex period!"

"And men in sweat pants, gross damn dicks swinging free and shit." Murphy watched as her sisters became nauseous and grinned at her accomplishment. "Anyone who doesn't look like Judge and wears spandex should be put in jail," She growled and then looked between her sisters. "What, am I right or not," she took on a far away look and smiled. "She's perfect in every way, warm and silky flawless skin, even the Celtic tattoo across her lower back is perfect." She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself in a tight hug.

"Whoa there Murph what tattoo and do ya got pictures?" Smootcher asked and shook Murphy from her daydream. "What's it look like ya troll and how do ya know about this?"

"Easy I saw her half nekkid and NUNYA!" She walked over to where the new Spiderman 2 DVD's were and grabbed a copy. "Put this up and remind me before we leave to pay for it, now I think it's time to play Whistlers dodge ball." The three women took off towards the aisle that ran from the front doors to the back of the store, right in the middle of the aisle was a huge metal cage filled with balls. Climbing up the sides, they dropped down inside and then each grabbed a ball. Even though not many customers came in at midnight or later, there were still other employees wandering around the place. As they sat a good twelve feet above the floor, they could see out over the tops of shelves and be able to keep an eye out for their boss. Smootcher grinned evilly and pointed to their extreme left, one of the chauvinistic pricks that worked the garden center was trying his damnedest to pick up one of the younger girls that worked the cosmetic department.

"That little ass hasn't a snowballs chance in Hell, as soon as he clears the perfume aisle, we nail his sorry ass!"

Stewie squeezed the basketball sized rubber ball between her hands and growled. "I still owe that freak for that time he locked me in the layaway trailer, fucker ran after I got out through the damn vent at the front." She moved closer to where the guy stood with one hand on his dick and the other giving the young girl rap gestures. "He's such an ass, has anyone told him he's a white boy?"

"He doesn't speak English," Murphy replied in a deep growl. "He speaks that rap shit, one more reason to plow his ass." They raised the balls to throwing height and as soon as he walked away, they let loose and watched him hit the floor when all three balls bounced off the back of his head. "And the Whistlers score!" They did a little victory dance and grabbed up more balls for the next victim.

*****************

Judge rubbed her tired eyes, crawled from her car and stretched the kinks from her back. She stood looking throughout the parking lot for the Whistler truck but figured they would park along side the building where the other employees parked. She hadn't any idea why she was at the store; she didn't need anything and was wiped out mentally from all the files she had read earlier. The only thing that kept popping into her head was a pair of green eyes and a throaty laugh that she missed more than anything in her life. Yawning wide, she then moved off at a slower pace than normal towards the front doors. As she got closer, she realized that it wasn't only exhaustion that was causing her slow movements. Sweat poured down from her temples and every muscle in her body ached. "With all the precautions I take I still get sick." She whimpered and shivered from the fever coursing through her body. "Maybe I should just go home, drug myself up, crawl in bed and cuddle up with Woobie?" She knew that it wasn't Woobie she wanted to cuddle with, it was Murphy. As irritating as she could be, Judge knew that she could count on her or her sisters for anything. "I'll get some more drugs, say hello to the Whistlers and then go right home to suffer alone in my bed." She wiped the sweat from her face and shivered again when the heat of the store washed across her face, looking around; she winced when a loud scream echoed through out the store. "Can only be the freaks, they must be torturing someone."

As she neared the ball cage, she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Thinking it was from whatever virus that was ravaging her body; she kept on walking and found her mistake instantly. Three balls flew down at her and bounced all around at her feet; she turned her head and felt the floor move beneath her feet. Blinking her eyes did nothing for the darkness closing in on her or the floor rising up to meet her.

Murphy gasped as she watched Judge collapse to the floor, she climbed part way down the cage and then jumped the last couple of feet to the floor. Kneeling beside Judge, she placed her hands to her face and felt the raging heat beating off her clammy skin. "Will one of you call mama?" She looked to her sisters with worried eyes.

"How about 911 instead," Smootcher said as she pulled her cellphone free of its belt fastener. At the shaking of Murphy's blonde head and Stewie running for God only knows where, she called home and waited for mama D to pick up the phone. "Mama come quick Judge passed out or something at Wally world…" she looked to Murphy and nodded her head to what mama was saying and then handed the phone over to her sister. "You listen to mama, she's talking medical stuff." She had no idea about anything except band-aides and iodine. "I'm gonna go find Stewie…boil water…find a midwife…"

"Get me some ice and a towel," Murphy yelled to her and then waved a hand to the young girl from the cosmetics area. "Would you get me a blanket or something and find Doris for me." After the girl had taken off at a run, she moved so that she was cradling the unconscious Judge against her chest. "Mama she just passed out and she's laying here on the floor, what should I do?" She listened to mama and then hung up the cell phone. "Why did you leave home if you felt this bad, geez you could have passed out behind the wheel of your car and killed yourself or some…OK so no one else is out at this time of the night?" She brushed her lips against her temple and brushed her hair away from her sweaty face. "It'll be OK I'll take care of you, I'm a natural at this stuff." She sat on the floor with Judge in her lap until Smootcher and Stewie came pushing an office chair with Doris following. "Mama says to get Judge home and to bed," she looked to Doris and saw that she was in agreement with her. She searched Judge's pockets and came up with her car keys. "Stewie take her car home and Smootcher will bring us in the truck," she tossed her sister the keys and then helped them get the still unconscious Judge into the office chair. Doris took the blanket from the other employee, pulled the tag from it and then covered Judge with it. She knew the other woman by sight but had no idea of her name or that her niece was anything to her but a tormentor.

"Is mama gonna be there?" Smootcher asked. "She might need to protect us when Judge wakes up?"

"She's calling our doctor; they'll meet us at Judge's." She struggled along with her sisters to get Judge's dead weight into the office chair and then keeping her there as they pushed her and the chair out the doors to wait for Smootcher to bring the truck up to the doors. After they had Judge laid across the back seat, Murphy crawled in and held on as Smootcher flipped the flashing lights on and took off towards Judge's house.

Doris stomped her foot and planted her hands on her hips. "I just lost three idiots to play nurse maid, who in the Hell's gonna finish putting up their stuff?" She looked around and saw that she was speaking to herself. "Damn but I hate those three brats."

***********

Murphy ran her fingers through sweat soaked hair and watched as feverish blue eyes opened. "Feel like shit and wish ya were dead?"

"Something like that…" she looked around and recognized her bedroom. "How'd I get home," she tried to sit up in bed and groaned from the pounding in her head. "Could you maybe shoot me in the head and end my pain and humiliation?" She pushed the bed covers down to see that she was dressed in a t-shirt and sweat pants. "So is a picture of me bare ass naked up on the internet somewhere?"

Murphy gave her a lopsided grin and winked. "Nope and the picture I do have is safe and sound in my head," Mama D standing with her arms crossed over her chest and glaring at her was a scary picture. It would come to mind every time she thought about the lost chance of undressing and touching Judge's body. She placed her hand on Judge's cheek and felt just a slight warmness to her skin. "Don't move I'll be right back, it's time for some of mama's special tea."

Judge pushed herself up into bed, looked around to see that the clothes she had been wearing earlier were hanging from the chair in her room and that there was a vaporizer running across on the other side of room. "God they really pulled out the stops on this one," on her nightstand was a glass of water, when she tried to reach over to grab it, she whimpered from the soreness in her body. "MURPHY!" She yelled and grabbed at her aching head.

"What is all the yelling," Mama D asked and stopped to hover over her. "And what in the Hell were you doing out of bed as sick as you are, now what if my brats hadn't been at work, then what?" She handed Judge the glass of water and a few pills from the bottle in her hand. "Good thing that one of my kids is a doctor as well, she came right over and checked you out."

Judge inspected the pills before putting them into her mouth, normally she would have wanted to see the bottle and all pertinent information before taking them but she trusted Mama D. "I didn't feel that bad until I got to the store, what's wrong with me?" She wiped sweat from her forehead and felt her mouth drop open when the doctor stepped into her bedroom.

"You have the flu and you're not to get out of bed for a few days or do anything stressful for the next week." The small Asian woman who didn't look past her late 20's said as she flipped her long jet-black hair cascading over her shoulders back. She walked over to the bed and waved a thermometer in front of her. "Now open up or I'll have the retard come in here and do something gross and disgusting." She saw the questioning look in feverish blue eyes and smiled. "And I know what's going through your head right now and the answer is yes, I'm one of mama D's kids."

Murphy came back into the bedroom a tray in her hands with a coffee cup, toast and a box of Kleenex on it. "That's ping pong Whistler, MD extraordinaire and here's your tea."

"And Murphy's full of shit, my names Vanessa." She pulled the thermometer from Judge's mouth and grinned. "Almost normal, to bad Murphy makes your blood pressure soar; you'd have almost normal vitals if not for that."

"Hell, she drives everyone's blood pressure up." Mama gave Judge one last look, and pointed at Murphy. "I'm going home, behave yourself and keep your paws off Judge." She yawned wide and blinked her eyes to try and clear away how exhausted she was. "Come on Ling Ling drive me home and then you can stay in your old room, I don't want you out driving around at this time of the morning."

Vanessa rolled her eyes and followed Mama D, from as early as she could remember, her family members always came up with weird names for her, it was just one of their ways of showing affection. "OK but you have to make me pancakes in the morning with real whipped cream and blueberry's." She stuck her tongue out at Murphy and waved at Judge. Are ya jealous Murph, ya know the baby always gets what she wants." She smiled to show even white teeth and then flipped her sister off with a flourish for good measure.

"I am so proud of her," Murphy sniffled and then grinned wide before dropping down beside Judge. "She caught on so fast to the proper way of flipping people off." Stretching out on the bed, she leaned up on one elbow and took in a feverish Judge. "Drink your tea and then I'll tell ya a bedtime story."

She was a little afraid of what Murphy would consider a bedtime story. "First what's in the special tea and then where are your sisters?"

Murphy ran a finger across Judge's upper lip to brush away her sweat and noticed the hitch in her breathing from the simple contact. "Whiskey, peppermint and a tea bag, the freaks had a skip to pick up for court in the morning."

Judge took a sip of the tea and felt the slight burn down her throat; she placed the cup back on the tray and turned her head to gaze at an exhausted Murphy. "Is it safe for them to be without you, I mean the last time you guys got hurt?" She noticed for the first time that the stitches were missing from the smaller woman's cheek and changed the subject. "Vanessa took your stitches out," she wiped at the sweat rolling down her face and groaned. "I feel like shit and where's my dog?" Her thoughts once again ran amuck.

"They'll be OK without me and she's chewing on her huge ass rawhide bone, close your eyes and get some sleep, I'll be on your couch playing with a pair of your silk boxers." She stood up, pulled a pair of silk boxers from her back pocket and pulled them over her head. "Night sexy, I'll be dreaming about ya." She bent over and placed a soft kiss to Judge's forehead before leaving her bedroom.

************

The room was dark, smoky and echoed with the hum of huge overhead fans. Smootcher and Stewie blinked and squinted beneath the brims of their baseball hats and grunted when a whiskey voice reminded them that they didn't have all night long.

"Come on will ya put up or shut up?" The old woman said as she flipped the ashes from her cheap cigar.

"I'm out," Stewie dropped her cards on the dirty table and leaned back in her chair to watch the rest of the poker game. "Come on Smootcher if I didn't have anything then I know damn well that you didn't either."

"That's whatcha think moron," she winked and gave everyone at the table a wicked smirk. "I'm a real card fish and I beat my entire family at Strip the old maid." Everyone looked at her and cringed at the thought of her family playing strip anything. She laid her cards down with a flourish and waited, when nothing happened she elbowed her sister. "I won right?" She counted the four aces with a tap and then slid the king of aces out to lay along side the other cards.

"Now that's just impossible," An old man said with a raspy voice, he pointed to the king of aces in front of the old woman and then looked at her with rheumy eyes. "She cheated and you invited her so that means we kick all your asses."

"Pipe down old man or I'll make sure that when I get done with court I forget to pick up your rheumatism medicine." She pushed all the M&M's towards Smootcher and stood up with Stewie's help. "Come on kids lets get this over with." She blinked through her pop bottle lenses when the lights came on and waved a hand at the bar tender. "Make sure your dad gets home, I got court this morning."

The beefy bartender came out to the table, kissed his mom on her cheek and then helped his dad up from his chair. "You know if you'd pay your parking tickets or actually park where you're supposed to, then you wouldn't end up in court all the time." The other three old men that had been at the table snickered and started to clear the table top of glasses and other trash that had accumulated from their card game.

"And where would the fun be in parking the right way, besides this way I get to spend time with the Whistler kids." She took her cane from Smootcher and waved at her son and husband. "Later, I'll call if they give me an orange jumpsuit and a number." She hobbled out the door of the Finish line bar and grill with the help of the Whistlers. "Now tell me more about this woman Murphy is chasing, is she mentally unstable?"

***********

Murphy moved around Judge's kitchen with a familiarity that came from having to search for what she needed, wiping her hands on her apron, she sighed. "OK Judge Dread where's your cake pan, you have to have one, you have everything else?" She walked bare footed to Judge's bedroom and stopped when she saw the tanned skin of an upper thigh peeking out from under the bed covers. The last time she had been in the room, Judge was fully clothed. Her brows wiggled at the thought of what she would reveal when she pulled back the blankets. The raspy breathing and then the coughing that came with it washed the sexy image right from her mind. "Gods you're a mood killer, I was getting this fantasy all together in my head and it's all gone now." She walked over to the bed and pulled the blankets back to find sweatpants hanging off Judge's one foot. She pulled them the rest of the way off and then found a sweat drenched t-shirt tangled around the top sheet. "What am I gonna do with you?" She rolled the dirty clothes up and tossed them through the bathroom door before covering a snoring Judge back up. "You are so going to get it when you wake up; I can't believe what a mess this place was." When everything had calmed down the night before and she was able to relax a bit, she found all kinds of strange things in Judge's place. Namely, the fungus covered food in the refrigerator and a pair of dirty jock socks in the freezer.

*********

Judge rolled over on to her left side, felt her sinuses clear on that side and groaned from the nasty taste in her mouth. Reaching out with one limp hand, she tried to brush away her greasy hair and whimpered when her fingers got tangled. "This sucks…" she opened one eye and saw Woobie sitting at the bedroom door with her head tilted to the side watching her. "Stop staring at me, I already know how bad I look." A distinct sound of pots and pans clattering had her falling from bed. She crawled to where her robe lay across the foot of the bed and saw her dirty clothes lying on the bathroom floor. "Ohh my Gods what did I do last night?" She ran her hands down her robed body and felt her skin aching from touch alone. Her ears caught a velvety voice singing a Dixie Chicks song and became frightened as to who could be in her house; she looked to her dog and whispered. "Some watch dog you are, letting a strange woman in my house." She wandered on weak legs out towards her kitchen and stopped to watch a vision before her, the compact muscular body dancing in front of the stove was familiar but the singing voice was not.

That Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
Those black-eyed peas
They tasted all right to me Earl
You're feeling weak
Why don't you lay down
And sleep Earl
Ain't it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp Earl

The cops came to bring Earl in
They searched the house
high and low
Then they tipped their hats
and said "Thank You ladies
if you hear from him let us know"

Murphy sang and danced as she scrambled the eggs and flipped the bacon in the frying pan on the other burner, she didn't sing that often but when she did, she put her whole heart in to it.

Well the weeks went by and
Spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land
And a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham
And strawberry jam
And they don't
Lose any sleep at night 'cause

Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake Earl
We'll pack a lunch

And stuff you in the trunk Earl
Well is that all right
Good let's go for a ride
Earl hey

She finished the song, spun around and flung the flipper in the air when she saw that she had an audience. "Christ almighty you could have coughed up a lung or something so I knew you was standing back there watching me."

Judge snickered as best she could with her sore throat and stuffed up head. "And miss the finale not on your life," she sat down and sighed with relief. "You have no idea how glad I am that it's you in my kitchen," she became worried when she noticed that Murphy was wearing a pair of her silk boxers. "What exactly happened last night and why are you in my kitchen…cooking?"

"You mean after the hot, sweaty and satisfying sex that rocked my world and just about killed yours?" She put breakfast on the table and sat down across from her. "Ya know that little grunting noise you make when you grind your hips; it's so hot, just thinking about it makes me horny!" She looked up from her plate, saw the deer in the headlights expression on Judge's face, and put that little tidbit to the back of her mind for later use. "Just kidding," she pointed to the medicine bottle on the table. "Take your pills and eat your breakfast and I'll tell ya about all the hickeys on your neck and ass."

Judge looked at the doctor's name on the medicine bottle and started to remember some parts from the night before. "I must have really been out of it," she looked down at the glass of fresh juice and into twinkling green eyes. "You squeezed oranges…I didn't have oranges?"

"No but that place just down the road does, ya know the grocery store?" She waved at the bacon and wheat toast on Judge's plate. "Funny how they had all of this stuff there, ya know that even Wal-Mart sells food." She snapped her fingers and pointed a finger at Judge. "Ohh that's right you couldn't do anything last night because you were out cold on the floor." She got up from her chair, stepped in front of a shocked Judge and tapped her on her chest with each word. "Don't you ever go out running around when you're this sick again; I was beyond worried until Vanessa got here." She sniffed the air and then gave Judge a raised eyebrow. "After breakfast you're taking a shower."

"Are you insinuating that I stink?" She couldn't smell anything so she had no idea.

"No insinuating about it, you are rank, even Woobie won't get near you." She took her seat and went back to eating her breakfast but with one eye on an investigating Judge. "Stop picking at your food and eat, the only thing with germs is you."

**************

After breakfast and a handful of pills that Murphy guaranteed would kill the flu, Judge looked around her bedroom and became uneasy, there was just something not right about her home and it wasn't because of Murphy. "MURPHY!" She yelled and then jumped when her ass was grabbed.

"I was right behind you, you didn't have to yell." She pushed her further into her bedroom. "What is your problem?"

"There's something not right in here," she turned and looked down at how Murphy was dressed. "And it's not only that you're wearing my clothes, it feels different."

"That reminds me; I found dirty jock socks in your freezer." She watched as blue eyes narrowed and Judge started to shake. "I take it that you knew nothing about this, there's some other stuff like moldy food in the refrigerator."

"Moldy food and socks, you know how I live, didn't you find it strange?" She moved around her room and ended up at her dresser, pulling out clean clothes; she stopped and turned around to find Murphy watching her every move. "Someone besides you was in my dresser." She shivered from both the flu and the fact that her home had been invaded.

"You want me to call someone," she followed her and stopped outside of the bathroom door. "Or wash your back?" She winked and then felt her mouth drop open with realization. "Damn it to Hell, I knew there was something odd!" She ran out of the room and out the front door to stop dead in her tracks. "You have got to be kidding me," she watched as the man across the street dropped the binoculars he had been looking through. "Get the Hell back in your house before I knock the shit outta ya!" She stepped down to the driveway and followed the stain in the driveway right down to where it disappeared from her vision on the road. Looking in both directions, she decided that it would be best to get dressed before questioning neighbors.

********

Judge finished with her shower, dressed in sweats and then picked up her dirty clothes from the floor. After dropping them into their proper hampers, she grabbed her suit and placed it in the bag for clothes that needed dry cleaned. Feeling exhaustion steal over her, she dropped the bag on the bathroom floor and headed back to her bed. "Damn, I need to call Belinda." She sat down heavily in a chair and reached for the phone when Murphy came into the room cussing under her breath. "Where'd you go and what's with the cussing?"

"Outside to check on something," she saw that her friend was starting to fall asleep as she sat there. "Get in bed and when you wake up I'll tell ya if anything's panned out." She eased Judge back into bed and was about to cover her up, when she noticed that the sheets were damp from sweat. "Hold on a minute there Judge I can't let you sleep on wet sheets." She went around the bed, folded the sheets up to the center and then went back over to whisper into Judge's ear. "Where's your clean sheets?"

"In the hall closet, I'll get them."

"The Hell you will, I'll get 'em and you'll stay right here in bed." She left the room and then felt Judge right behind her; she opened the closet door and snorted at what was before her. Every set of sheets was in plastic and stacked according to where the colors letter fell in the alphabet. "Gods but you're anal," she grabbed what ever was on top and held up a hand when Judge was clearly going to object. "I don't care if they're fluorescent orange with white stripes, they're clean and you need to get your ass back in bed."

"But the color will clash with my bath towels and…" she dropped her head and shuffled back to her bedroom. "Now I'll have nightmares and you're worse than a mother hen."

"I'd have nightmares to if I had to deal with all the plastic wrap and cleaning agents you have around here. Ya know maybe that's why you got sick; your immune system is shot 'cuz it's not used to all the germs out there." She stepped around Judge, handed her the clean sheets and then started stripping her bed.

"How am I ever going to repay you for everything you've done for me?" She wobbled and placed a hand on Murphy's back to steady herself.

"Ohh I'll think of something you can count on that," she looked over her shoulder and saw that Judge had no idea that her hand had dropped down to plant firmly on her ass. "For now you can squeeze a little harder and move maybe to the left a bit." She felt something other than the bed sheets beneath her hand and turned her attention back to what she had been doing. "Ohh my fucking Gods," she whispered and then turned to Judge. "Who's been in your bed?" She dangled a pair of men's BVD's from her two fingers and cringed from what she saw. "I know for a fact that these ain't yours, only filthy ass men leave skid marks in the ass end and piss stains in the front." Judge took one look at the filthy things and fell back on the floor with her eyes rolled up in her head. "Just great, on top of every thing else you pass out again." She threw the dirty BVD's in the trashcan across the room and finished making up Judge's bed. "She really needs to toughen up," she looked to Woobie who took a seat on her mistress's chest. "Go ahead and jump on her a few times maybe it'll do something."

***********

Belinda looked inside Judge's office, saw the neat pile of folders in her outbox and knew that her boss had spent most of the night huddled behind her desk. Checking her watch, she saw how late it was and became worried because Judge had never been this late before. "Where the Hell is she," she went over to Judge's chair, dropped into it and grabbed the phone. Dialing Judge's number, she leaned back in the chair and waited for Judge to pick up. "Come on Judge, answer the phone."

"She might be sleeping," An exhausted Stewie said as she stumbled into the immaculate office. "We took her home last night…"

"Mama says she's got the flu so can ya cancel her stuff for the…" Smootcher yawned wide and blinked her eyes while her sister finished her sentence.

"Next week or so, Murphy's over there right now taking care of her."

Belinda swung her eyes back and forth and found it really strange how the two women finished each other's sentences. She hung up the phone and looked between them, what she saw was two women who were dead on their feet. "You two need to be at home sleeping, what are you doing here anyways?"

"We brought a skip in," Stewie said and yawned.

"She had a nine o'clock hearing and now we're going home." Smootcher said, waved and stumbled from Judge's office.

"Try calling again or maybe going over to kick Judge's ass and ask her how the floor felt." She gave Belinda a big grin and left the woman wondering what Judge and the floor had to do with each other.

"I'll do that," she searched through the files on her boss's desk and then went back to her own to make the necessary phone calls. She hoped that she was able to cancel some of the court hearings or get someone else to cover for Judge. "Now of all the times to get sick." After she made all the phone calls, she grabbed up all the files that needed signed and the new docket and left the office for the rest of the day.

**********

Murphy lay on the couch with a pillow tucked under her head and a blanket just covering her lower legs, she had ventured out after putting Judge to bed and questioned the few neighbors that were home. The only thing that she found out was that Judge was a reclusive neighbor and that none of them had ever spoken with her. The man across the street had conveniently gone missing before she could question him; he was her prime target since she had caught him with binoculars. Plus, she wanted to ream his ass for spying on Judge; the woman had enough problems without having some freak peeking in her windows. "I'm a pervert but everyone knows and besides I'm harmless," she picked up a picture from the coffee table, rolled onto her back and took in the young version of Judge. "You are the perfect fantasy for anyone who's breathing and here I am on the couch when I could be cuddled up in bed with you." She brought the picture to her lips and placed a soft kiss to it before clutching it to her chest. "I can always have you in my dreams and usually do a few times before I wake up." She sighed and then moaned when she heard the doorbell ring, rolling off the couch; she staggered to the front door. What she saw brought a wide grin to her face and a low belly laugh; she pulled the door open and waited for Belinda to notice.

"You need to get a life you fucking freak!" She turned when she heard Murphy laughing and growled. "Who is that man and why in the love of God haven't you done something about him?" She pointed to where the neighbor was hiding in a tree in his front yard with his binoculars.

"I didn't know he was home yet," she walked past Belinda to stop right below the treed man. "Now since you can't run and hide, I want some information and if I don't get it, I'll call 911 and have you hauled away."

The man looked around and knew his predicament was his own fault; he sighed and nodded his head. "I should have known that the damn camouflage didn't work when all the birds kept flying away." He saw that she was becoming inpatient. "I'll tell ya what I can, just don't tell my wife."

"Well, since you seem to be the neighborhood watch commander, have you seen anything out of the ordinary around Ms. Bloodstone's house?"

"Like what, I mean can you be more specific?"

Murphy thought for a second and raised an eyebrow. "How about, any strange vehicles in her driveway, delivery men besides UPS, people hanging around when she's not here, stuff like that?"

"The only people I've seen over there in months, you excluded, were the meter readers yesterday when I was going to the store. It was two big guys in tan coveralls and white hardhats. Other than that, nothing except for the UPS man, does that help?"

"It might, I'll let you know and don't ever let me find you peeping on my girlfriend again." She jogged back across the road to Judge's house and went inside to find Belinda watching TV. "Has Judge ever mentioned about meter readers coming around here?"

"She has one of those new meters that don't need read; ya know one that sends the information all by itself or something, why?"

"Someone was in here yesterday playing around, I found a pair of dirty men's underwear in her bed and nasty jock socks in her freezer." She sat down on the couch and rubbed her face. "I've got this bad feeling that her parents are involved in this somehow." She told Belinda what happened when she returned home with Judge and what she had done to the Bloodstones in retaliation; Belinda agreed with her and would make a phone call to the electric company to find information about meter readers.

*************

Mrs. Bloodstone stomped back and forth in her sitting room, her normally hurricane proof hairdo was beyond repair and her silk hose had numerous runs in them. She had tried calling Stanley and Arnold and received an automated message from both their cell phones, stating that they were no longer in service. Her next venture was to go to their family's homes and see if they had heard from them, their response was to slam the door in her face and refused to let her threats rile them. Upon returning home, she fired the last of the hired help and she was looking for a way to get rid of her husband as well.

"Useless men, I paid them more money than they were worth and they up and quit in the middle of an important job!" She kicked over an ottoman and then limped over to an original Queen Anne chair to collapse in pain. "Now I have to replace them and brief new henchman on the proper way to send that wreck and disappointing daughter over the edge and into full blown insanity. It's the only way I can save face with my peers, they will accept a crazy person in the family but not someone who is…a small town city official." She kicked off her $500.00 shoe and watched it sail across the room and knock a picture of her husband off a small table. "To bad it wasn't really you, you deserve a swift kick in the head!" She got up, hobbled across the room and picked up her phone. She went through her mental phone book and dialed a number she seldom used, with in seconds a nasally voice answered.

"Antonio's Pizza."

"Tony this is Bloodstone; I need two guys for a job ASAP."

"What kinda job and how many clams ya payin?" He asked in a thick Bronx accent.

"I want my daughter Judge, driven insane so that she is put into an asylum and $250 grand when the jobs complete."

"Make your kid nuts," he was thinking that spending a day with her mother would be a quicker way to accomplish the job. "Does it matter what nuthouse she ends up in?"

"No, as long as she is locked up in any mental ward I'll be happy. When you have the men, call and give me their names and I'll have the funds waiting for them when the jobs done."

"Already got the guys for ya, me and Sid will pay her a visit and get back with ya."

She felt a huge weight lift from her shoulders at being able to replace the incompetent henchmen that had quit after so many years of loyal service. "She is in Eastern West Virginia, she's the District Attorney for Jefferson County, and you'll find her at their tiny little courthouse. Follow her to her residence and watch out for a small blonde headed woman, I think they are having abnormal relations."

He hung up the phone and ran a hand across his baldhead. "Damn woman needs locked up herself, ain't a damn thing wrong with her kid." He walked to the kitchen area of his pizza parlor and found his younger brother pulling a large pizza from one of the ovens. "We gotta job Sid, we gotta go to West Virginia and pay Judge a visit."

Sid gave his brother a wide grin and then chuckled. "So we go see Judge and then what?"

"The bitch of the family wants us to drive her nuts." He held out a take-out box to his brother and after the pizza was inside, he closed it up and handed it over to the delivery guy.

"So are we gonna tell Judge what's going on and then clean up on some clams?"

"Now ya know ya don't even hafta ask that, she's a good kid and shoulda been born in another family, damn people are all crazy in that mansion." He wiped his greasy hands on his apron and walked away two steps before turning. "As soon as we close tonight we'll get a flight outta here, but first I gotta call Stanley and find out why they quit."

***************

Belinda stood beside Judge's bed and snickered at how human her boss really was, sprawled across the bed, her mouth hanging open and drool running down from the corner of her mouth. "She's such a lovely creature; maybe we can get her picture on the cover of 'Sleep depravation and you?"

"She doesn't have sleep depravation." Murphy said in confusion.

"No, but whoever would try and sleep in the same bed with her would, she's like a Saint Bernard." She saw the dreamy expression on Murphy's face and knew no matter what she said or how gross Judge was, it wouldn't matter one bit. "I sure hope I didn't look like you when I first met my husband, damn sappy ass look." She shoved Murphy in her shoulder and laughed when she almost fell on top of a now snoring Judge. "Let me show you what stuff I brought so you can tell the drooling wonder there what needs to be done, you would think after all these years she wouldn't have to be told." They went back into the living room to where Belinda had dropped her battered canvas bag. "These are all the cases that I had the court dates changed and the paperwork that she has to sign before I send it to the other lawyers, don't know why they can't accept the damn change over the phone?"

Murphy looked at the thick stack of folders with the papers attached to the front with paper clips; she had no idea that Judge saw that many cases in a week's time. "This is just one weeks worth of cases; I had no idea her work load was this heavy?"

"Ohh this is nothing compared to some weeks, there's times when she just stays in the court room and they usher the defendants in one door and out the other." She saw the look of admiration on Murphy's face and then saw her brows dip low over her turbulent green eyes.

"What in the Hell are the ADA's doing while Judge is in court seeing to all these cases?"

Belinda grinned at her and then laughed when Murphy crossed her arms over her chest and gave her a look similar to Judge's. "The one and only ADA is spending his time keeping his buzz on in the nearest bar, he's a lush and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. They say they would fire him if they had someone to replace him, he's useless so they should just can his ass anyway."

"Son of a bitch, so the mayor and the city council would rather see there district attorney fall over from work exhaustion than to search for an ADA to replace the drunk?" She chewed on a fingernail and then gave Belinda a smirk. "Mama D knows a lot of people; I know that she'll know of a replacement for the next Betty Ford patient."

Belinda didn't doubt that Mama D would be able to find a replacement for the drunk; she hoped that she did so that she could get a break and a few days off. Not to mention that Judge needed some time off as well, the woman was a total wreck. "If your mama can do that I'll dance at your wedding." She turned when she heard a sniffling and then a deep rattling cough. "Ohh my but you are a scary ass sight, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm hungry," Judge asked and leaned against the door jam for support. "Tell me there's not a problem at work?"

"Nope everything is good to go as soon as you sign off on some paperwork." She looked at the haggard features, tangled and sweaty hair and grinned. "Better yet, ta Hell with paperwork, come on in to the courthouse and scare the shit out of the criminals, we can tell 'em you're a prime example of a jail sentence!"

"That's it pick on me when I'm sick," she whimpered. "We got anything to eat?" She asked and went into the kitchen to search for food.

"She's pitiful, how can you stand all that pouting?"

Murphy grinned. "This is the first time I've ever seen her pout, you want some coffee or tea?" She headed into the kitchen and pushed Judge out of the refrigerator. "Get the coffee and I'll get you something to eat, you want breakfast or lunch?" She rolled her eyes when Judge just shrugged her shoulders at her. "You're so helpful when it comes to picking what you want to eat." She pulled out containers; plastic bags and other things that Judge had no idea were even in her refrigerator. "So Belinda, when's the last time you saw Judge here eat real home made food?"

"My memory doesn't go back that far," she took the offered cup of coffee and gave Judge a raised eyebrow after the first sip. She eats that fast food garbage and you know how I like my coffee?"

"Of course I do, after all these years of working together why wouldn't I?" She sat down, watched Murphy cut up fresh vegetables, grade cheese, and then beat eggs in a bowl. "You know I still have lasagna in the freezer so you really didn't need to do all that."

"Yeah and why is that, I made it so you could just heat it up instead of eating nuker meals?" She placed bacon in a frying pan and then took a seat at the table. "I made Judge Dread there lasagna and garlic bread one night, and then I froze what was left over for meals and guess who hasn't eaten hardly any of it?"

Judge felt her face getting warm. "I was saving it, I didn't know if you'd ever cook for me again." She reached over to the stove and grabbed a dishtowel to clean an imaginary spot from the table. "I'll have some today for lunch along with some of mama's pie."

"You are so whipped Judge, you go up against the meanest criminals in the county without a blink but fold with one glance from Murphy."

Murphy grinned and looked to a blushing Judge. "That's because she knows that I know all her secrets." She winked at her. And no, you're not getting your pillow back." Judge remembered writing in her PC journal about when her pillow was switched with Murphy's, she had wondered to herself in her journal if she would ever get her own pillow back. "I told you that you're PC wasn't safe, does that bring you to light concerning how my sisters know what underwear you have on?"

Belinda raised a finger in the air. "That reminds me, how was the floor?" She watched as her bosses face turned a deep shade of red and Murphy chuckled. "Now I know I missed something, so what was it?"

************

After eating an omelet, bacon and English muffins, Judge went back to bed for what she refused to admit was a nap. No sooner, had her head hit the pillow she and Woobie were sound asleep. Murphy stood in the doorway watching as she slept and felt a warmness envelope her heart, even when Judge rolled to her back, scratched her crotch and began snoring didn't bother her in the least. "She is so human it's scary," she felt butterflies take flight in her stomach at the thought of seeing the stoic attorney at her weakest. "I guess this is the only peek into the old Judge that I'm likely to ever see, unless she's pissed off and pummeling someone." Going back into the living room, she grabbed a Wal-Mart bag from near the front door and jumped a few times when she saw what was inside. "I love my mama," she placed a zip-lock baggie filled with home made peanut butter cookies between her teeth and pulled out four new DVD's. "Ohh I'm gonna give them big hugs when I see 'em!" She went over to the couch, pulled her knife from her front pocket and lost all patience trying to get the security tape off the DVD cases. "Why the fucking morons gotta put so many damn tape seals on these damn things, can get in ta Fort Knox easier." After a mighty struggle, she had one of the cases open and then few minutes later with beer in hand; she was watching 'White Chicks'.

****************

"Gimme some more tape, I got this one spot that won't stay stuck." Stewie pounded on the floor with the heel of her hand and then took the long strip of scotch tape from Smootcher. "God damn shit sucks; did ya get the stuff that was left over from last year or what?"

Smootcher gave her a look that should have singed the skin from her bones. "Like scotch tape has an expiration date," she pulled a long piece off and got an evil gleam in her eyes. "We'll see if it's the tape or the dumbass using it!" She tackled her sister and wrapped the tape around her head until something bounced off the back of her own head.

"I can't leave you two alone for two seconds," Mama hit Smootcher again with another tennis ball and wound up to hit Stewie as well. "Now get this mess cleaned up and get your asses upstairs, you have an hour before your skip gets off work." She looked down at the mess before her and then to a struggling Stewie. "What is this mess anyway?"

Smootcher shoved her sister out of her way, pulled the life size piece of cardboard up from the floor and stood it in front of her. "It's our dear MIA sister Murph," she put her head over the cutout's right shoulder and gave mama a wink. "We gots her in her most loved expression, flipping us all off and we even gots sound effects." She hit a little red button on the front and grinned when the life-size Murphy said. "Bite my ass ya loser!"

"Just lovely, I wish I had thought of that before I adopted all your stupid asses, now take the phony Murphy upstairs and I'll get the mummy." She grabbed a stumbling, cussing and extremely taped Stewie by the front of her flannel shirt and dragged her upstairs. "I should have had my damn head examined when your dad said to, always knew procrastinating was bad for my health."

*************

With the TV blasting and Murphy jumping in the middle of the living room floor, she never noticed Judge wandering through to the closet and getting the shop vacuum out. A few minutes later, she spun around and shot a glare at the bedroom door. "What in the Hell is she doing?" Stomping towards the bedroom she stopped outside of the door and cussed, Judge was vacuuming the area between the ceiling and the wall with a brush attachment. "She's fucking nuts, she's like…ADRIAN MONK!" Moving into the room, she reached down and yanked the plug from the wall. When Judge froze and slowly turned her head to look at a furious Murphy, she knew she was in deep shit. "What in the Hell are you doing cleaning, you look like death warmed over?"

"I woke up and saw dust webs," she planted her hands on her hips and shot Murphy a glare of her own. "I can't sleep if there are cobwebs or dust webs floating above me, it disturbs my sleep."

Murphy walked into the room, took the shop vacuum wand from at Judge's feet and waved it in front of her. "You want disturbing, how about this shoved in any orifice of your choice?" She scratched her head and tilted her head to the side. "I sound like my mama." She dropped the attachment, grabbed Judge by her hand and dragged her from the bedroom. "If you must clean something, you can…shine my boots." Proud of her quick thinking, she grinned all the way out into the living room. "You can shine my boots while we watch the rest of 'Resident Evil."

Judge yanked her hand free and stopped to cross her arms across her chest defiantly. "I hate those slash 'em movies, they're violent and make people do all kinds of crazy stuff."

"You sure are some kind of freak ya know that," she arched a brow and shook her head. "Just think where you're career would be without crazy people to do crimes?" Fifteen minutes later with a boot stuck on her hand, Judge jumped on the couch cheering Alice on. "So you hate these types of movies huh?"

"Kick his ASS!" She punched her arm in the air and ignored the boot flying off to land across the room. "Fucking cannibalistic freak, RIP HIS HEAD OFF!" Murphy sat back on the couch and watched as Judge became more engrossed in the fight scene between the main character Alice and one of the hundreds of zombies that had been chasing them through out the movie. "Damn but she's sexy as Hell when she's kicking ass!"

"She sure doesn't look so sick now," Mama said from where she stood behind the couch watching. "You must have broken her Murphy; she's acting the same way you guys do at home." She tapped a jumping swinging Judge on her shoulder and smiled at her shocked expression. "This is your lucky day, I'm staying with you while the brats get a skip, I'd just send the other two retards but this is a real bad guy."

Murphy shook her head and groaned she had hoped that they wouldn't have any skips for a week or so, to be honest, she just wanted to take care of Judge. That in its self was odd. She gasped and looked to her mama to see a knowing look. "I'm getting to really hate this job, please tell me that the three of us won't end up broken and bleeding in the hospital?"

"Can't guarantee that, only if ya use the wire tasers and knock his ass out before cuffing him. I put the shackles in the truck and if ya hurry up and get your ass out there maybe ya won't have to unlock one of your sisters." She moved around and caught Woobie when she flew up into her arms. "There's the baby, have they been neglecting you?" She handed her a dog bone and gave both Murphy and Judge narrowed looks. "Ya know I'm gonna teach her how to get back at you two, neglecting this poor baby." She wandered into Judge's kitchen so that she could spoil the little bald dog.

Sighing and then getting up from the couch, she cast a quick look at Judge. "Damn but I really need to retire," She mumbled and went after her boot that was across the room. "It's not like I need the money or anything, we're richer than Bill Gates and shit," she sighed. "I guess it's just that I like beating up men and shooting at 'em." She looked to see Judge giving her a raised brow expression. "Ohh come on ya can't tell me that you haven't thought about shooting some ignorant son of a bitch for one reason or another, some men are just useless and should be put down to spare the rest of us aggravation." She finished tying her boots, checked the knife that slide into a special sheath on the side and took a deep breath. "If I don't see you later, your pills are on the kitchen table and there's some left overs and special tea in the refrigerator." She leaned forward and placed a soft lingering kiss to Judge's lips. "And get some rest, you look tired." She left with Judge sitting on the couch with her fingers over her lips. Once outside, she felt a loss come over her that had her stumbling. "Come on Murph, it's not like you're leaving for good or anything, you're just going for a skip and then you can come back and tuck her in." She ran both hands through her hair and sighed, she knew what her problem was, she was completely lost to the compulsive attorney and wanted to spend every available second with her.

"Ohh my Gods…she's ALIVE!" Stewie yelled and then fell out of the passenger side door to hang by one foot, from the ground she looked up at her sister. "You're not like contagious with the flu bug or anything are ya?"

"Of course I'm not, remember I don't get sick. Tell me you two aren't shackled together."

"Nope, I'm shackled to the gear shift, can ya help me up, my foots going numb."

"Ahh leave her there," Smootcher growled. "After a few miles she'll come loose, stupid dipshit tried to shackle us together while we were waiting for your slow ass." She pointed to the back seat and then flipped the switch to open the lock. "We brought your gear bag and one of the new tasers we ordered, this skip we gotta bring in is a freaking gorilla!"

After getting Stewie in, Murphy got into the backseat and started changing out of her street clothes and into her black swat gear. Pulling her Kevlar vest on over her tank top, she then pulled the black jacket on, then her tactical vest and belted on her tactical thigh holsters. A few minutes and miles later, she was completely dressed and examining the new taser. "So will this thing take down a rhino?"

"I sure as hell hope so," Stewie handed her a print out complete with the mug shot of the skip. "We may need an elephant sized tranquilizer gun to go with."

Murphy's eyes shot wide as she read. "Ohh my fucking Gods, this guy is almost seven feet tall and goes over 500lbs, how are we supposed to bring him in if he doesn't want to cooperate?"

"No idea besides running his ass over with the truck, what I wanna know is how come the boys didn't get this one?" Smootcher asked and then figured out why; her brothers didn't answer their pagers or phones when mama called. "When we're done, we're going over and kicking the shit outta the boys, damn losers." Their brothers were infamous for not answering their phones or pagers when they caught wind of a retrieval of a hard ass skip, it didn't matter to them that when mama got a hold of them they'd be sporting tennis ball sized bruises from her fast pitch.

**************

Mama sat next to Judge on the couch and took in her disheveled appearance and pale skin; she did look better but not 100%. "What are you doing out of bed, don't ya know that you'll get better faster with more rest?"

"I can't stay in bed all day and night; I get sore all over and a monstrous headache. Plus I'm going nuts with not being able to keep the place clean," she blushed and looked away from mama. "I was trying to vacuum and Murphy stopped that real fast."

"Did she use the 'I'll shove it up your ass' threat, that's one of my favorites? I still use it a couple times a week with those three."

Judge chuckled and nodded her head. "She put it more as an invasion of any orifice of my choosing, she has no idea how this is killing me, you know not being able to do my normal routine." She played with the hem of her t-shirt and looked up when mama placed a hand over one of hers.

"Ohh she's got an idea of how you feel, she's feeling something similar I can guarantee that, she's used to chasing after women and you're not running away from her. Her routine is, she chases, they get tired of running and then they go out for one date. On the night of the date, Murphy comes home with numerous bruises and swears off women forever, that lasts until another one piques her interest." She grinned and gave Judge a wink. "At first, you were a challenge to her, now you're something more, I saw her kiss you before she left and I can tell she respects you more than anyone in the past."

"I have to admit that she's grown on me, I don't think of spraying her with Lysol at first glance anymore." She twisted her shirt hem. "I owe all of you more than I can ever pay, since I met your family; I've experienced what its like to have a real family, that's something that no price can be given. And that's something I've never had with the exception of the cook when I was little."

"Anytime you wanna get fed up with family members all over the damn place you come on over, a real good time is when I have a couple of grandkids running around screaming at the tops of their lungs."

Judge had never given thought to kids but a few running around and screaming wouldn't bother her, at least she didn't think they would. "My parent's house is a place where you can hear a pin drop; they didn't allow yelling, temper tantrums or anything else unless you happened to be my mother." She rubbed her stomach when it growled and saw mama grin. "I'm starving are you hungry, Murphy said there's food in the refrigerator?"

"Speaking of money, Belinda gave me an envelope the other day and if I hadn't been sitting down I woulda caused a small earthquake when I fell over." She followed Judge into the large kitchen and stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder. "Why didn't you take your cut from all that money?"

"Because I took the case as pro bono and that's how I treat it until the very end even if there is a monetary reward." She shrugged her shoulders and went over to see what kind of food was in the refrigerator.

"Well I'm giving you the money you deserve, pro bono or not and to tell the truth the only reason we went with a public defender so to speak was because no lawyer in the county will touch us." She gave Judge a huge grin. "We have a bad reputation if ya didn't already know that."

****************

The Whistlers waited in the truck until they saw the first of the employees coming from the warehouse building, they knew this was going to be bad with the first man that came out dragging his knuckles. "Damn cavemen and shit," Stewie whispered. "What is this place anyways?"

"They fill orders for R.L. Bean, Dickies work clothes and some other on-line companies, maybe the natural history museum as well." Smootcher shivered and looked to her sisters. "Its show time, Montel Jackson has made his debut." They watched as the huge black man ducked his head as he came out of the building. Grabbing what they hoped they really didn't need to do their job, they got out of the truck and started towards where he was walking towards a beat up Cadillac. "Thou shall I walk through the shadow of a huge fat man I shall fear no…we're gonna die horribly." She whined.

"You are such a brave soul; I wanna grow up to be just like you, now move your fat ass before he gets in his car!" Murphy pushed past a praying Smootcher and ran towards the passenger side of the Cadillac, she wanted to get to the other side and block him from entering and getting away in his car. She jumped and slid across the hood to land a few feet from him. "Montel Jackson I'm here to take you in, come peacefully and we'll have no problems." His laugh was huge; it reminded her of a giant Santa Claus. "You're gonna make us work for this aren't ya?"

"Lady, you ain't taken me nowhere, now get outta my way before I smash you with my man breasts."

She took in his huge quadruple Z sized tits and shivered. "How can ya stand up with those huge things, do ya get a serious back ache after standing around, chaffing or raw spots from your bra strap?" She thought they were good questions until she saw how red his face had gotten and then heard his knuckles cracking. "Hey I'm just curious, I got no tits and I'm jealous as Hell!" She tried to run but found a huge hand grabbing the front of her tactical vest, the next thing she was dangling a good nine or ten foot above the ground. "Damn so this is what its like to be tall," She tapped his hands and looked down into his dark brown eyes. "Could you put me down now…please?" Just then, she heard two yells and then the unmistakable sound of discharging tasers. Her body jumped in his hands from the electricity and then she felt her free fall start to the ground.

Stewie and Smootcher let the darts from the tasers fly into Montel's meaty back, they hadn't even thought of their sister suffering from the shock that traveled through then mans body until after the fact. That was until her blood-curdling scream pierced their ears and then they saw her fall onto the roof of the car next to Montel. What scared them more than Murphy's revenge was the fact that the tasers shock did nothing to the huge fat man. Murphy sure enough suffered, she laid panting and trembling. Montel turned, looked down at them and then roared. They backed up and then started running in opposite directions, when he went after Stewie, Smootcher ran after him, jumped up on to a car and then to his back. He ran around as if she wasn't even there hanging from his neck.

Murphy sat up from where she lay and looked around at all the employees laughing and pointing fingers, sliding off the car and onto shaky legs, she stumbled around to the back and watched Montel run in circles with both her sisters on his back. She flinched when he dropped his shoulder and shook Smootcher off and then tried to toss Stewie after her. Shaking off the final tremors, she staggered towards them and then climbed up into the back of a pick-up truck. "COME ON FAT ASS COME AND GET ME!" When he turned and came towards her, she moved to the back of the truck and felt her mouth drop open when he rocked the truck from side to side. "Come on you can do better than that!" She crawled up on to the cab, slid down the windshield to the hood and to the ground. Taking off around the other vehicles, she yelled fat remarks back at him and grinned when she saw Smootcher pounce on his back after Stewie fell off.

"Ever watch that program the 'Biggest Loser' fat ass; no, well you should be on the program?" She would let him get within a few feet of her and then dodge out of his way at the last second. With her sisters taking turns falling off and jumping back onto his back, she knew he had to be getting tired; she was, from running all over the parking lot. She grinned when the other employees cheered her on and then yelled louder when both her sisters were on his back and trying to put the 'sleeper hold' on his thick neck. Actually, he had no neck and they had their arms wrapped around his head and throat. "Damn but you should be dropping over by now." She jumped to the side and took them out into the open. "Come on you cock sucking asshole!" When he roared and came after her, she jumped to the side, kicked out a leg and caught him in the side of his knee. He stumbled but didn't go down, she dropped down on one knee and kicked him in the back of the same knee and watched him drop down on to his knees with a roar. Jumping back up, she launched onto his back and took them down the rest of the way. Exhausted and with three women on his back, he still was able to push himself up onto his hands.

"God damn but he's gotta be on drugs or something." Stewie mumbled and squeezed her arms tighter around his neck.

"Hold tight retards, its payback time!" Murphy jumped off him, pulled her taser from her vest pocket and fired it into his ass. She grinned when both Smootcher and Stewie let out screams and shook from the electricity. "How'd it feel ya smucks?" Her world flipped on her and left her lying on the hard pavement with a sharp pain radiating through her head. With fumbling fingers, she waved a pair of legs closer and held out her cell phone. "Call 911; tell them we need assistance and a big stretcher." After taking a few deep breathes, she rolled to her side and felt everything spin out of control, she knew she had a concussion but had no idea how she had ended up on her back. "Anyone see how I ended up down here?"

Smootcher crawled over to her, looked into her sisters pain filled face. "Lard ass there kicked you when he was having spasms from his ass being shocked, that's how ya got down here and just wait until later; I'm tellin mama what ya did ta us."

A few minutes later, the Sheriffs department showed up along with the fire department and rescue squad. It took ten men to pick Montel up on the oversized stretcher and get him into the back of the ambulance, the grunting and groaning from the men had everyone around still snickering. The Whistler sisters sat on the curb with ice bags to various body parts; Murphy was the worst of the three. Her head was splitting and she was having a slight problem with double vision. "Come on lets go home," Smootcher helped Murphy up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "We can stop and get you some pain pills or ice cream."

"I wanna grape Slurpee," Stewie said and limped ahead of her sisters. "And a vacation from getting my ass kicked, we better get a bundle for that fat bastard and how come no one helped us?"

"Do you think that everyone's as crazy as we are?" Smootcher rubbed her lower back and just knew that she would be a rainbow of colors in the morning. "Come ta think of it our family's taken 'that' trophy every year for centuries."

************

Mama sat in the recliner across from where Judge was sitting on the couch giving her dog, dirty looks. Woobie had done the unmentionable; she had dragged one of Judge's expensive boots outside and buried it in the yard. The boot part wasn't the shock but the digging a hole and getting her feet dirty was. "So tell me why the compulsive behavior, it can't all be from when ya got buried in cow shit?"

"That's one thing I like about you mama D, you're blunt and no it didn't just start with the cow case." She sat pondering until she found the right words to describe all that had happened to make her less of the woman she had once been. "I'm sure you know about my time in the nutward or should I say nutward's since I've seen the inside of a couple of them. The first one was the worst; it was one of those places, where they thought that they could 'fix' the homosexual problem I have. I kept telling them that I didn't have a problem with being gay, that they were the ones who needed 'fixed'."

A wicked gleam came to her pale eyes that sent a chill down mama's spine. "They got the real meaning when I grabbed the doctor by his nuts and squeezed until he passed out." She took a deep breath and sighed. "Then came the straight jacket, drugs and intense psycho babble one on one counseling that lulled me to sleep a couple times a week. After a while they had me in group counseling where they tried to brainwash a group of us into the 'straight life'." She pulled her legs up onto the cushion and wrapped her arms around her knees. "They used to give us shock treatment and or this drug that made us nauseous while they showed us naked pictures of men or women, you know depending on our orientation. I got sick no matter what they showed me, it could have been a picture of a kitten and I would have thrown up." She sighed again and made eye contact with mama. "Those were the days, I dropped a lot of weight and was in danger of losing my teeth from throwing up a couple times a day, and anorexics would love the damn place. Anyways, after puking and sitting in a room with a bunch of other people puking all over the place, it soon manifested into a compulsion to be clean and be in a sterile environment. The dumb shits there thought they had cured me of my homosexuality because I showed no interest in women and seemed overly domesticated."

"Is this place still open?"

"As far as I know it is, its run and funded by some holy rolling Christian assholes that should be put behind bars. I looked into having them shut down as soon as I was set free, but I was threatened with being disbarred before I even became a lawyer and worse if I didn't leave the whole thing alone."

"What about now, with being a prosecuting attorney, you've got to know other lawyers who can help, places like that are a rotten scam and should be shut down?"

"Doesn't matter, the damn president of the US is one of them so what ever he says goes down as fucking gospel. That asshole passes judgment on others and goes against his bible…" Her temper was starting to rise and that wasn't always a good thing, one thing that could make her erupt, was politics. She would never agree that a bunch of old fat bastards sitting in Congress or in the cabinet had the right to tell her whom she was allowed to sleep with or spend the rest of her life with. She didn't agree with anything the politicians said or did for that matter and that included the local Government. "Sorry, politics and religion are two subjects that piss me off, religion more so because they preach someone's interpretations of the past. I mean if ya think about it, how Adam and Eve could populate the entire world, the world would be full of retards from all the incest."

Mama patted her hand and gave her a wink. "I'm right there with ya, even if I didn't have four gay kids, I'd still feel the same way." She saw the questioning look in pale blue eyes. "That's right, you don't know about my son Keith, he lives in Baltimore with his partner of twenty-one years. They're complete opposites, Keith's a macho truck driver and his partner Sam is a chef at one of the big Hotels there. The boy sure can cook his ass off, almost as good as me. And I don't believe a damn thing that's in that book either, bunch of bullshit if ya ask me, people living for hundreds of years and having a couple hundred kids. How in the Hell did they feed and clothe 'em all, oohh wait, dinars grew on trees way back when?" She gave Judge a grin and a wink; she knew she liked the tall woman for other reasons besides that she threw her kids off kilter. "I wonder if my kids are alright, the skip they were going after is huge and I mean that in the rotund sense."

"If that's the case then why didn't some of the guys go after him?"

"Ohh that's easy, I fired all their lazy asses and I'm changing my will, can ya make one of those amendments to it for me?"

Judge wondered what the boys could have done that had mama firing them and taking them out of her will. "If that's what you really want then yes I can make changes to it…"

"I know ya wanna know and the reason is that, two of 'em called my three baby girls freaks of nature and abominations to their God. After they said that, I disowned their stupid asses. I didn't raise them that way; this is all coming from their wives and the asshole in-laws. If their dad were alive, he'd kick their asses for acting this way. The other two would rather sit on their fat asses and watch the damn car races, so I fired them as well." She clapped her hands together and then tilted her head to the side. "I just heard car doors slam, maybe that's my baby girls now, rotten damn retards that they are, had me all worried." She got up and missed the smirk that came across angled features. Judge sat thinking about mama firing her own sons for calling their sisters names and found it hilarious, what other employer would do something as drastic in the eyes of the world as to stand up and protect gay rights. Any other boss would have looked the other way if it were a family member causing friction.

"Mama I hurt all over and I never wanna go after something like that again, he was beyond HUGE!" Stewie said as she hobbled towards one of the easy chairs across from Judge. "We hit him twice with the new tasers and it took Murph hitting him a third time ta knock his ass down." She shot her sister a glare and wagged a finger at her. "Smack her mama; she tried ta fry us along with Montel!"

"Yeah well who did it first," Murphy growled and then slid over the back of the couch to land beside Judge and then lay down to place her head in her lap. "My head hurts along with every single inch of my wee lil body."

"We did and it was funny as Hell seeing ya twitching and shit," Smootcher sat down at the far end of the couch and slapped Murphy on her ass. "She ain't allowed ta sleep, she's got a concussion and guess who gets ta watch her?"

Mama stopped in front of the couch and ran her fingers through Murphy's hair; she stopped when she felt the huge lump on the back of her head. "You need to get some ice on that lump and take some aspirins, what'd he hit you with?"

"The parking lot," Smootcher snickered and straightened up when mama shot her a death glare. "He swept her legs during his imitation of a big piece of bacon on a hot griddle."

Murphy whimpered from mama's touch and pressed her face tighter into Judge's stomach; she didn't know what hurt worse, the back of her head or the pressure across her eyebrows. She knew that a concussion was the same as shaking a raw egg; your brain just bounces around like the yolk. "My brains on drugs." She raised her head up when she heard Judge start to laugh. "Did I just sound like totally blonde bimbo?"

"Don't worry about it, I know all to well what a concussion feels like, lets get you some aspirin and the ice pack." She waited for Murphy to get up and then went into the bathroom for what she needed, while in there she heard mama cussing her kids out and thought it was hilarious.

***************

"Those tasers are not toys and the next time either one of you zaps anyone but a skip, I'M KICKING ALL YOUR ASSES!" She raised her hand and grinned when Stewie flinched and ducked her head. "Now you two idiots get your asses home, Murphy you behave yourself and you call if you need to go to the ER." She moved over to Murphy, leaned forward on the couch and placed a kiss to the crown of her head. "I'll see you tomorrow and no more skips for the rest of the week, your lazy ass brothers are gonna work their fat asses off instead." After her family left, Murphy sat back on the couch and closed her eyes; her head was pounding and her stomach growling. She knew that if she ate with the way her head was pounding, she would most likely be sick to her stomach.

"My job sucks…both my jobs suck who am I kidding?"

"Could be worse, you could work for someone like me that makes you stay late and sanitize every surface with bleach water."

"I know damn well that Belinda would knock the shit outta you if you made her do that, Hell if you even mentioned it." she took the aspirins from Judge and picked up her glass of juice from the coffee table. "What time is it?"

Judge looked at the DVD player and double-checked by looking at the clock on the wall. "Going on eleven o'clock," she rubbed her eyes and tried to remember how long a concussion victim had to wait before sleeping. "You don't really have to stay up all night do you?"

"No, the best thing for me is sleep," she yawned and rubbed her eyes. "All curled up against your extremely sexy and warm body." She got up from the couch with difficulty. "Come on Judge, time for me to make you all uncomfortable."

****************

Sid and Tony had waited until all of Judge's guests had left and then an hour longer to make sure no one else would show up. After exchanging looks, they got out of the rental car and headed for her back door. They knew better than to be seen standing at someone's front door in the middle of the night and in a strange neighborhood. At least that's how it was where they were from. "Let me do the talking, you'll get all off topic with shit from your screwed up college days." They stopped a short distance from the door and then Tony knocked hard enough to make the door shake in its frame.

"Damn Tony, take it easy before we gotta replace her door." Sid hissed and shoved his brother out of the way. "Let me do it, besides seeing your mug may cause her to scream and pull a baseball bat out or something."

"Like your ugly mug is any better…here she comes, so there." He straightened up and smoothed down his crumbled jacket. When the door opened, they both stood starring down into tired green eyes and the business end of a .9mm. "Uhhmm…is Judge home; we're old friends of hers from New York?"

Murphy tilted her head to the side, took in each man and then yelled loud enough that they jumped three foot in the air. "YA KNOW TWO BONEHEADS FROM NEW YORK?"

Judge stepped behind her, looked to the men in the doorway and stepped forward to push the pistol down towards the floor. "Yeah I know them now put your toy away before you put holes in something." She wrapped an arm around Murphy's stomach and pulled her back from the door. "Come on in and you can tell me what you're doing here."

"Geez Judge no kiss or anything?" Sid said and gave her a cockeyed grin. "Ya look different, good but different." He said and dropped down into one of the kitchen chairs.

"Sorry if we're interrupting something," Tony said after seeing that Murphy was dressed in a t-shirt and boxers and Judge had her robe on. "This situation is kinda urgent so."

"What does my mother want you two to do, knock me off, frame me for something or her favorite thing, have me committed?"

Both men looked from each other to a snarling Murphy and back to Judge. "The last one but ya know we'd never do anything ta hurt you," Sid said and looked to Murphy. "Can ya call off your girlfriend now?" He pointed to where Murphy was spinning her pistol; dropping the magazine and slapping it back in. Judge looked down and grinned at how protective the smaller woman was acting and grinned.

"She's not my…never mind." She wasn't quite sure what they were to each other and wasn't about to get herself caught between a rock and Murphy's revenge. "You two want some coffee or Coke; I think we have beer as well, you bought beer the other day didn't you?" She asked Murphy, realized what she had just said and felt a blush works its way up her neck; she couldn't deny that they hadn't been living together for the last week.

"Coffee would be good, we need the caffeine boost." Tony remarked and yawned to show missing molars and gold caps. "It took us forever to find this place, what made you move to bum fuck Egypt anyways, well besides your crazy ass mother?"

She struggled with Murphy and just decided to let her make the coffee since she had snagged the can of coffee from her hands. "I like it here; it's quiet, inexpensive not to mention a few hundred miles away from that crazy bitch that gave birth to me." She tried to get the coffee cups down and yelped when Murphy stomped on her foot.

"Sit down and let me do this, everyone knows your coffee sucks." Murphy slapped at her hands again and pointed to an empty chair. "Ya want me to call mama?"

Judge rolled her eyes and saw that Tony and Sid had been watching with interest. "Never thought I'd see the day that the mighty Judge would be domesticated, how long you two been together?" Sid asked and took the offered cup from Murphy's hand.

"From the first moment we met," Murphy purred. "She had my heart."

"More like I had a heart attack, we're just…owww, happy as any couple could be." She growled out after being pinched, then let out a grunt when Murphy dropped down onto her lap and wrapped an arm around her neck.

"That's just great you two, I'm glad you're finally happy Judge." Sid said and then looked to his brother. "Tell her all the nasty little details about this bullshit deal her mother offered us." An hour later and sitting alone in the dark living room, Judge wiped at her eyes, she knew that she couldn't hide forever, that some day her parents would try and rein her back in. Even if it was, only to put her away in a mental institution, steal her money and deface her.

"I have to do something; I can't keep running and hiding from all my fears."

"You're right and that starts right now," Murphy said in a whisper before dropping down beside her on the couch. "I got my little sister to write up some admission papers for the boys to take back to your crazy ass mother and now you can relax and enjoy life again." She wrapped her arms around Judge and pulled her close. "Can we go ta bed now, I'm exhausted?"

*********************

Sid took the paperwork from Vanessa Whistler and gave her a curious look. "So you're really Murphy's sister and those other women we saw leaving Judge's are your sisters and your mother?"

"Hard to believe huh, but yep they're just a very small part of the Whistler family; there are a lot of individuals out there that would not have known any kind of family if not for my adopted parents. With them, there is no such thing as race, just a child in need of love and a strong family structure, to bad the rest of the world didn't work the same way." She stuffed her hands in her pockets and gave each man a smile. "And just to let you know, my mama has taken Judge under her wing as one of her kids. So if her parents want a problem, they've got one with a huge ass group of people."

"That's good to know because the Bloodstones have a lot of big wigs that think they can get away with anything and that includes murder…you didn't hear that from us and we didn't have a thing ta do with it." Sid rushed the last part out, flinched with saying too much and looked to his brother.

"He's right and the person responsible for all mysterious deaths is now on death row himself, keep Judge safe and we'll keep an ear out where we're at as well." He handed her a card with all his phone numbers on it. "You need anything you let us know and vice versa?" He took her card and placed it inside his worn leather wallet. "See ya Doc and take care." After they had left, Vanessa stood at the door to the ER and just watched the activity in the parking lot. It was just like any other night with the hospital visitors fighting for parking spaces and employees dodging their cars as they crossed the area reserved for helicopters to land. She thought of what she knew about Judge and her parents and was thankful that she had mama D.

"You people need to slow down and look around you, with all your medical problems you still have it better than some." She closed her eyes and covered her ears when she saw a driver sideswipe a parked car after speeding into the crowded parking lot. "See, no one pays any attention to what I say."

**********

The next day after spending a few hours at her office and then driving around town, Judge made a decision about her life. It was only ten in the morning but it was already too late for her, she now knew that she should have done more things with her life. Now she stood atop the hill and looked out over the Shenandoah River; it had been years since she had been up here at her property and realized how she missed the freedom of noise. All she could hear was the breeze ruffling leaves and the birds chirping in the trees, which alone made up her mind. She needed to gain her freedom back, from herself as well as everyone else that had a piece of her. Dropping down, she ran her fingers through the tall grass and took in the scent of the earth around her. It was pure and fresh and so unlike her yard at home, that reminded her of an aerosol spray with the phony scent of flowers. The air was always tinged with other scents that came from cars, people and just plain old pollution. "It has to end here and now." She stood and walked to where the ground dropped off over the river, she stood staring out over the scenery for a few moments before stepping off.

*************

Belinda looked around Judge's office and noticed that a few of her more personal items were missing and then noticed the envelope with her name on it propped up in the center of her desk. She opened it and dropped down into her boss's chair to read, after the first sentence, she clutched at her chest and swore. "What in the Hell is she thinking?" She flipped through the other pages and came across the deed to her house, on the bottom line was her signature and a post it note sending her to a folder in her out box. Belinda opened it and found all the necessary paperwork that turned the house over to Murphy and that included everything in the house as well. "She has finally gone off her rocker." Picking up the phone, she called Judge's house and was relieved when Murphy answered. "This is Belinda, is Judge there?"

"No, she was gone when I woke up this morning; I thought she was at work."

"Nope, can you come over to her office; we may have a big problem?"

"I'll be right over, give me fifteen minutes or so." Murphy felt fear reach up and grab her heart, she had noticed some strange things when she walked through the house that morning but thought it was just her imagination. Now she was sure that it wasn't and became worried about her friend. "Fuck, I wonder if her friends showing up caused this?" She ran through the house to the bedroom and got dressed in the clothes she had worn the day before. On her way out the door, she called home on her cell phone and asked her sisters to meet her at Judge's office, if there was something seriously wrong, she would need their help.

***********

The mayor of Charles town sat rubbing his temples, it was only 9am and it had already been a bad day. Before he could get into his office, there stood his only good Attorney waiting for him with a grim expression plastered on her angled features. At first, he thought it was some kind of emergency concerning one of her many cases, which was until she handed him an envelope. He had opened his door, ushered her in and then closed it behind them before saying a word. Now he wished that he had just stayed in bed that morning and not come into work at all. She had left quietly without a single word and never looked back over her shoulder even once after he had read her letter. "What in the Hell am I going to do now," he sighed and spun his chair around to look at the picture of Harpers Ferry that had been taken during the 1800's. He wished at that point, that he could fall into the picture and escape the problem of replacing Judge Bloodstone. "Why couldn't she have just taken some time off rather than resigning?" He dropped his head back against his chair, closed his eyes and hoped when he opened them that he was still in his bed and had dreamt every minute of what had happened.

**************

At three pm, the Whistlers stood around Judge's office with grim expressions on their faces; so far, none of them could locate Judge. They had called in favors from both friends and family and nothing had paid off. It was as if Judge had disappeared into thin air, Murphy had gone so far as to have one of her police friends put out an APB on Judge's car. That came up empty as well. "Are you sure she didn't have a meeting somewhere?" Murphy asked and looked out the window that faced the street. "You know with a client or another lawyer, because I can't see her just taking off…fuck me," she clutched her fists and ground her teeth. "She took Woobie with her." She dropped down into the chair and covered her eyes with the heels of her hands. "Maybe she went to the veterinarians or something?" She hoped that it was just something simple such as an overlooked note or message. All hope dashed when the mayor stepped into the office and gave everyone a curious look.

"My God, I've never seen this many people in here before." He looked at Belinda and offered her a sad smile. "I guess you all know that she resigned today…" at the shocked expressions, he then knew that he was the barer of the news. "I take it she pulled the same thing on everyone here," he handed Belinda a copy of Judge's resignation letter and stood silently until she swore under her breath. "I came over hoping to talk her out of it." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not accepting it; I'll keep it in the bottom of my desk drawer in case she changes her mind."

"Son of a bitch!" Murphy swore and stomped from the office with her sisters watching. She didn't know where to start looking for her friend but she wouldn't stop until she found her. She ran over everything that Judge had said the night before and remembered that she said she would stop running and hiding. "So what does that mean?" She asked herself on her way to where she had parked mama's car. She would return to Judge's house and see if she could find an address book or something that would put her on the woman's path. "Why am I panicking, she could be at a doctors appointment, quitting her job doesn't mean that she left the area for good." She sure hoped not, Judge had wormed into her heart and she didn't want to loose her. "Damn you, why didn't you say something to me?" She asked the thin air around her and felt tears slid down her cheeks. "I could have helped you!"

***************

"OOhhh come on I'm not playing that game with you." Judge said to Woobie and crossed her arms over her chest. "You walked all the way down here all by yourself and now you want me to carry you the rest of the way?" She looked to the ledge just eight feet above from where she was standing and sighed, she knew she was beat and just had to accept the fact that her dog had her whipped. "This is the first and last time that I let you manipulate me, from now on, you walk all on your own." She scooped her dog up and made her way down the dirt and rock path to the small cleared area where she had parked her car. When and if she ever built a house on the property, she would build a better footpath or a road that came up to the back of her property. The path was fine if you were a mountain goat but trying to come up it at night or during bad weather was an instant suicide warning.

"Where shall we go, North, South, an island, different country?" She thought a few minutes and stopped right beside her old beat up car. "It's been years since we went anywhere besides to Wal-Mart, how's South Carolina sound Woobie?" She got in and put Woobie on the passenger seat where she turned in circles before jumping into the back seat. "Suit yourself and just remember if we end up somewhere you don't like, it's because you're in the back."

Reaching over to a black leather carrier, she opened it and randomly pulled a CD out. She had noticed the CD carrier after she had already left her house, not wanting to take a chance and find Murphy awake, she would play chicken shit and send it by way of USPS back to Murphy. What came over the small speakers of her cars ancient stereo system shocked her? "You sure don't look the type to listen to country music," turning it up, she listened to the group and wondered who they were. "I'm one to talk; I only listen to the news stations." Pulling a quarter from the ashtray, she flipped it three times and then backed from her parking area to head back down the mountain. "Looks like we're heading North Woobie, I hope you packed your fur lined coat and boots!"

*********************

Murphy wandered through Judge's house looking for anything that would give her a hint as to where the tall lawyer had gone. She headed to her desk and started pulling out drawers and rifling through papers and folders. With the last drawer, she found a leather-bound address book and sighed. Opening it, she looked from page to page until she came upon some names and addresses that looked to be personal ones. "Here's those two guys that were here the other day, I wonder if they know where she is?" She picked up the phone and called the first number when no one picked up she called the next one. "Hello is this Tony?"

"Yeah, whatcha want?" His voice was gruff and threatening.

"This is Murphy Whistler, I'm trying to find Judge, have you heard from her since you left the other day?"

"Nope, me and my brother left right after talking to your sister the doc, are ya sure Judge isn't just out cleaning something?"

Murphy admitted to herself that it may be jumping to conclusions about her friend but her gut was nagging her that it was something else. "Maybe but I just got this feeling if ya hear from her will you call me at her place or tell her to call home?"

"Sure thing and I'll let my brother know to, they're old friends and she may call him first. Let me know if she shows up and thank your sister for us, we're taking the letter over to the bitch's house later on this morning. Later Murphy and take care."

She hung up the phone and went back to looking through the address book; she would call all the numbers in the thing if it led her to finding her friend. "There has got to be someone in here that would know where Judge would go if she's pissed." She thumbed through the pages and stopped at an address for New Iberia Louisiana. "What the Hell is in Iberia Louisiana," She flipped through a few more pages and found another name belonging to a person in Iberia. "Interesting, Judge Dread knows people in bumfuck Egypt." Giving up and heading off to Judge's bedroom, she stopped in the living room and looked around her. "Come on give me a hint here?" An idea hit her, she jogged off towards the bedroom and then to the closet. Opening the door, she checked each item of clothing and then went to the dresser. She knew by heart all the things in Judge's underwear drawer and started there first.

Curiosity hit her between the eyes, she checked again and then went into the bathroom to check the clothes hamper. Everything was accounted for except for what Judge was wearing that day. "This is a good sign, if she went anywhere other than local, she would have packed!" She fell back on the bed and stared off up at the ceiling, she just wished she had some idea of when Judge would be home. "What should I make for supper and why in the Hell did she sign over her house to me…FUCK ME!" Realization was a hard thing to swallow; she clamped her hands over her face and screamed until she needed to breath. "She's not coming back, face it Murphy."

****************

Judge was halfway to Rt. 81 when she saw a police blockade up ahead of her; she slowed down, pulled over and flipped on her police radio. She had it installed for the times she was at a crime scene; it always helped to know the circumstances before she got to the scene. Other times, she listened out of pure boredom. What came over the radio had her pulling a U-turn and heading off in the opposite direction. "What the Sam Hell is up, there's an APB on ME?" She groaned, everything started to come together, she had hoped to be out of the immediate area if not the state when everything started in motion. "Guess I'm heading south, we can always go visit some friends down there and then head maybe west." She said to Woobie who could careless where they ended up as long as there wasn't any snow. No more than a half hour later than she was hearing another call over the radio, it gave out the full description of her car and the license plate number. "Son of a bitch, they don't spend this much time or effort on serial killers!" She thought quickly, turned off down a back road, and kept taking them until she was into Virginia. With the statewide search for her, there was only one thing to do and that was get as far away as possible and trade in her car.

"Just great, maybe I should have sent all that damn paperwork in the mail, it would have given me a day or so to make my get away." She cast a glance at Woobie and shook her head. "That's it, you're gonna share the driving, you know you could stay awake long enough to hear me rant." She turned up her portable CD player and listened to a random CD from Murphy's case, as she listened closely to the words, she had a flashback to when she was in High School. "Oh for crying out loud, she listens to Journey?"

*****************

The next day a bloodshot-eyed Murphy rubbed at her tired eyes and leaned back in the leather office chair in front of Judge's PC. She had been doing searches all night and had a list of accounts in Judge's name along with some other traceable information. She installed a program that would alert her when Judge accessed any of her bank accounts and in what state the banks were. She hadn't heard anything yet from the APB that was out on her friend and figured that she had gotten through the net before the police and other local agencies were able to do anything. "I'll find you if it's the last thing I do."

"You'll stop acting like an ass and leave that poor woman alone," mama D said and slapped Murphy in the back of her head. "I wish I could just take off and disappear like she did, everyone knows I certainly deserve a break and so does Judge. That woman has lived in Hell for more years than not and maybe she just needs to get away and clear her head."

Murphy dropped her head down and clasped her hands together, she could see where her mama was coming from and had seen some of what Judge's previous home life was like, what bothered her was that she hadn't come to her or her family for help. "But mama, she just up and left and didn't even say one word about leaving or quitting her job. Why didn't she say something to me, I could have helped?"

"She's a proud woman, she's always done things on her own and this is another thing that she will do on her own. If she comes back then fine, if not, that's fine to." She pulled Murphy to her chest and gave her a tight hug. "You pulling a stunt by getting an APB out on her sure isn't showing her that you care, it's almost as bad if not worse than the stuff her parents are trying to pull. We all know you care about her but not letting her go is the worst thing you could do." She held onto Murphy as she broke down and cried, she hoped that she would see her errors and allow Judge the space she needed. "Now lets get out of here, you're buying me lunch."

Murphy wiped her eyes and nodded her head she knew mama was right. "Where are the idiots at?"

"Out in the car, I threatened to take their Playboys away if they didn't stay out there." When they got out to the car, she noticed that Stewie and Smootcher were tied together with a length of rope. "I thought you said you threatened them?"

"Ohhh mama did," Smootcher said.

"We pissed off some woman by whistling at her," Stewie tossed in.

"She tied us up and threatened to cut our tongues out." Smootcher finished.

Mama laughed and shook her head. "What kind of society are we living in when women carry rope around with them?"

"Ohhh this is our rope, we always have some with us." Stewie volunteered.

"It was this or she cut our tongues out." Smootcher said with a shudder. "I think we picked the right choice."

**************

Judge pulled over to the right hand lane and took the next exit; she needed gas and a bathroom break. The bathroom part terrified her; she knew that no matter where she stopped the bathroom would be a haven for germs and diseases. A small bit of relief was that she had some cleaning agents with her; she never left home without having at least the bare essentials of supplies on hand. What she had in her car alone would make most janitors envious. "OK Woobie get your ass up, its break time." She turned her car off and waited for it to stop coughing before she got out. Opening the trunk, she pulled out a canvas bag and found Woobie's leash lying on the floor. She had no idea if Virginia had a leash law or not but didn't need a ticket or some idiot screaming at her.

After letting her dog relieve herself in the appointed dog area, she put her back in the car and locked it. She didn't trust anyone and made sure that her Mace was in her back pocket before heading to the small building where the bathrooms were located. The second she stepped into the place, she felt like turning around and running back to her car. Water ran from the men's bathroom, across the floor and out the other door. A brick held open the door and she could see men standing at urinals. "Disgusting sons of bitches," she mumbled as she hurried past the door. "They just whip it out and don't give a damn that a woman sees the disgusting little thing."

She shuddered at the sight of the women's facilities, some of the stall doors were missing, faucets ran because the handles were missing and the big window was open because someone had smashed the glass from the frame. The stench of urine burned her sinuses and the filth made her shake with fear. "Ohhh there's no way in HELL!" As she turned to leave a woman came in and went to the first stall with a door on it, she didn't care how bad she had to go, this would be the last place on earth she would drop her pants. "I'll wait, there's no way I'm getting some disease from this filthy place!" She wiped at her clothes and then thought of something that made her skin crawl. "Place is probably infested with crabs!" That sent her running from the building and all the way to her car. She pulled a map out, found where she was and estimated how many miles she had to go before the next exit. "You have no idea how lucky you are little dog, some grass and you're good to go."

The next 20 miles was excruciating, the closer she got to the exit the harder her foot pressed the gas pedal. Taking the exit at breakneck speed, she peeled around the corner and came to a sliding stop in front of the McDonalds Restaurant. Leaving her bag and everything she needed in her car, she sprinted to the door and almost ran over an old couple. When she came from the bathroom, sweat was pouring down her face and she was having trouble breathing. The place had been thousands of percentages better than the rest stop but it was still nowhere near her standards as far as sanitation went.

Thinking that while she was there, she would suffer more and get something to eat before her blood sugar dropped. With her order in hand, she went back out to her car to find Woobie standing with her feet on the steering wheel and honking the horn. "I didn't leave you for Gods sakes, move your bald ass or you're not getting you chicken McNuggets." Sliding into the car, she sorted out the food before pulling her laptop from the floor. An idea had come to her while eavesdropping on a couple of guys in McDonalds. They had been talking about what supplies they would need to pick up before going camping. "That's what I need to do, get some camping supplies but first, to find a place around here." Booting up her PC, she was waiting when she seen the guys from inside come out.

"Excuse me!" She yelled and then got out of her car to approach them. "I overheard you talking inside; I'm looking for a place to buy camping supplies, could you help me out?" A few minutes later, she was pulling up outside a large building that housed sporting and camping supplies. She knew that they couldn't very well stay in a motel every night or keep stopping at McDonalds or what not for food. She had seen a dramatic price hike in the last 24 hours when she crossed state lines. Virginia was the worst so far and N. Carolina wasn't looking too bad but she had only been in the state for about an hour.

"OK Woobie, you guard the car while I go in here and see what we can get to make our lives a little more comfortable." She was about to add that staying at home with Murphy would have been the best idea but it was too late for that now. She really didn't know what they needed since she had no idea where they were headed, some no fuss camping food would be a good place to start though. After grabbing a cart, she started up the first isle and just looked at all the different items used for just cooking outdoors on a camping trip. Dutch ovens seemed to be a big necessity, she figure this because there were so many different sizes and brands of them. Next came the other cooking supplies complete with Coleman stoves. Her head was starting to spin with all the stuff in front of her when an older man came up and asked if she needed some help. "I'm not real sure what I need, I'm traveling cross country and I just need some stuff to help me survive without spending a small fortune."

He nodded his head and gave her a small smile. "Never tangled with Mother Nature before huh?" He saw a slight blush and chuckled. "That's OK we all start there at some point, I've been camping since I was a toddler." He waved a hand for her to follow and pointed at an assortment of cooking packages. "I put this stuff together so that beginners don't end up buying what they'll never use; fancy stuff has no place out in the woods. All you'll need is a regular sized Coleman stove and that's your kitchen."

"One of my other concerns is hygiene, the rest areas so far are disgusting and sleeping, stopping every night at motels will cost a small fortune. Can you set me up with a small tent, a sleeping bag and what ever else I need?"

"Sure thing," after he put the cooking items in her cart, he went over to the tents first and looked at some of the boxes he had sitting on the floor. "I just got this new tent in; it connects to the back end of an SUV or truck. I've tried it on a car and it works just as good, gives ya some more room for storage and what not. Then we have just regular old tents and pup tents, depends on how many people are going to be using it."

"It's just me and my dog, so a two or three person tent is good." After looking at all the kinds available, she pointed to one and waited for him to put it in her cart. When all was said and done, she could drop camp anywhere and be prepared for just about any kind of weather. She had a sleeping bag that would keep her warm and dry as a bone if it rained and a cot that kept her off the ground. Now, it was as if the older man was reading her mind, he nodded his head to an area across the store and saw relief cross her face.

"I have three woman in my life and believe me they educated me on our first camping trip." He pointed to a port-a-potty complete with carrying case and extra bags. "My wife had me drive 50 miles to the nearest camping supply store to get one of these that day and I tell ya, it saved my skin." He grinned at her blush and dropped it in her cart. "There's more expensive ones on the market but that one will last for years and there's no hassle with having to get it to fit in your trunk." He moved a little down the aisle and pulled a discreet package from the wall. "Now my wife and daughters swear by this little thing, I order them from London of all places." He handed her the package that read The Whiz. Takes care of the nasty bathrooms or lack there of, even my granddaughters use them in school." He chuckled and waved a hand at her. "It wasn't easy but my granddaughters are regular ruffians and the first time one of the other girls made fun of them, she got a black eye for her trouble. I think all women should use something like this, you know with all the diseases in this world you can never be too careful."

"Ohhh I agree with you there, what I saw coming down this way as far as rest areas is just unbelievable, what I don't understand is why no one fixes them. I know that the state is responsible for the highways and such, it's no wonder the truckers are getting semis with living quarters built on to them." She looked to see other hygiene products on the wall and watched as the older man walked away so she could have some privacy.

"Let me know if you need any help, I'll be over in the clothing area."

"Thanks for all the help you've given me so far." She nodded at his wave and went back to looking at the other items. She was getting a different kind of education. She never realized that there were hygiene items that could be stowed away in the glove compartment or inside a purse. Not like, she had ever carried a purse or anything but, she could see some of the things that would be good if she did. Extendable toothbrushes, drinking cups that did the same thing, small unbreakable metal mirrors and small safety shaving razors, she was scanning the area where The Whiz had come from when she saw other types of the female urination device or F.U.D. for short. "I wish there had been stuff like this years ago when I was in college, all those times of standing in line at a bathroom while the guys just went outside." She grabbed another brand called a Freshette; it came with a long tube that fit into a gel-filled bag. It stated on the package that it was used for wheelchair bound persons and numerous other occasions. It made her wonder how many different kinds of things were available for woman to make hiking, climbing, camping and any other male oriented sport easier. When she had filled her cart with everything that she needed and then some, she headed for the cash register. After ringing up her sales, she pulled a brand new Visa card from her wallet and handed it to him.

"Did you get everything you needed?"

"I sure hope so, I've been camping before but it was more like a bunch of us spending the night in a park and getting wasted. That was many years ago and probably the dumbest thing I've ever done, anything could have happened."

He grinned and nodded his head. "I think we can all say that about something but to make it easier on you," he handed her a small book and a map. "The book will keep you from getting into anything poisonous and the map is of all the camp grounds in North Carolina. Some of them have facilities; you know showers and bathrooms, running water and electricity for campers. The map tells you which ones have all that stuff," he handed her back her Visa and then helped her get everything out to her car. "Now be careful out there and if you have a gun keep it handy, if not, then get one."

She gave him terrified look. "For wild animals?"

"Of the two legged variety, don't trust anyone out there and that includes young couples." She thanked him and then drove off to the nearest interstate exit. She thought about the times she and friends had spent weekends in the parks and how filthy she had been when they staggered back to campus. Now years later, she couldn't handle dust blowing on her. She knew that the camping idea was going to be a major lifestyle change for her and may cause her to hyperventilate and fall over unconscious but it was a start in the right direction towards her personal freedom.

"We can do this Woobie, the fresh air," she took a deep breath and held her arms out to her sides. "Mingling with Mother Nature, simple meals cooked over a small stove or campfire, sleeping under the stars…me dying from a contagious tree fungus…bit by a rattle snake…you beaten up by a squirrel…eaten by a wolf…maybe we should just stay in motels?" She looked to her sleeping dog and shook her head. "You could care less as long as I was the first to go, remember that when it comes time to eat."

*****************

After they had taken mama to lunch and returned home for the truck, they went on their way. Murphy found herself looking at every car that was similar to Judge's or female with long dark hair; she was hoping that one of them would turn out to be her missing friend. She blinked and rubbed at her tired eyes and then saw that Stewie had been watching her, she shrugged her shoulders and went back to watching out the window.

She had wandered around the house earlier, pretty much in the same condition she had been for the last few days, she stopped to look at things but never really saw them. She just couldn't believe that the house was hers or that Judge had actually just up and left without a word to her. She had yet to sleep there; she always went back home and crawled into her bed still clothed and grimy from the day. It had been a few days since she had a shower and didn't really care; she could care less about anything at this point and wished that everyone would just leave her alone. "Where we going?" She asked in a bored tone.

"We got a small problem that we gotta take care of," Stewie said and looked right at her with a burning gaze. "Then we're going out and getting shit faced and pick up some good looking women's."

Smootcher slapped the steering wheel and bounced in her seat. "I'm gonna get me drizzled chiseled!"

Both of her sisters looked at her in exasperation, Stewie sighed and shook her head. "I swear one of these days someone's gonna do what you say and we ain't helping."

"Don't tell me I got it wrong again, I know I said it right." She shot them both a glare before returning her attention to the road. "Might get one of those 'Street talk for dummies books so ya'll can't make fun of me no more."

"We just can't help it," Stewie said and tried not to bust out laughing. "We don't know anyone who can come up with the stuff that you do and not get the shit kicked outta them." She looked over at Murphy and sighed, she just didn't know what to do about her sister, and none of them had ever seen her like this or anyone for that matter. "Ain't that right Murph?"

"Yeah, she's lucky to be alive." She let her head fall against the window and squeezed her eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. "Can we just go home…I don't feel like going anywhere?"

"Not a chance there Murph, we're going out as soon as we take care of your hygiene problem."

"I don't have a hygiene problem; ya'll got a problem with not letting me be." Her sisters shared a look and went about dreaming of their plan for Murphy. A few minutes later, Murphy groaned and got out when they pulled into the 'Do it yourself carwash' on Liberty St.

"This is your small problem that you just had to drag me along to help with?"

"Yep," Stewie said and started dropping quarters into the machine. "Gotta make our ride all nice and sparkly, ya know for the women's and all." She winked at Smootcher and grabbed the scrub brush from where it hung on the wall. "All clean, sanitized and sparkly." She nodded her head and watched as Smootcher tackled Murphy and handcuffed her to the trucks door handle.

"What the Hell…" her eyes grew wide when her sisters came at her with the high-powered sprayer and scrub brush. "Ohhhh this just ain't right…you'll both pay dearly for this!" When Smootcher sprayed her head with the warm water, she yelled and tried to hide her head under her arm. "MAMA!"

"Mama can't hear ya; we made sure that we're far enough from home for that." Smootcher snickered and kept on spraying her down.

Stewie started scrubbing her down with the soapy brush and busted out laughing. "Take it like the man ya are Murph!" After they were satisfied that she was clean, they watched as she stood under the air dryer at the end of the automatic car wash, what had them laughing hysterically was her hair and her dodging cars coming out of the carwash. From the force of the air dyer, her hair stood out at all angles around her head and made her look like a demented poodle.

"Now ya have that lemony fresh smell of car polish and sealant."

"Ohhhh thank you very much Stewie," she growled and flipped her off. "Just wait until you two go to sleep tonight." She got into the backseat and had to hold on to the door or slide off the seat. "Bitches, how am I supposed ta sit anywhere without sliding off?" She mumbled and let out a yell when Smootcher took a corner too sharp and she slide across the seat and onto the floor.

******************

Judge looked down at her map and then swung her car across to the far right hand lane before she missed the exit that would take her to a campground just outside of North Carolina. She had wanted to get into the next state by nightfall but was exhausted and was having trouble staying alert. She still had to read the directions on how to set the tent up and some of the other things that needed put together before it got too dark to see what she was doing, if all else failed, she would sleep in her car for the night. Not like it wouldn't be the first night of a lumpy car seat as a mattress.

This far south and she still had no idea of where she was heading, she admitted to herself that she had not planned anything for this adventure into the unknown. She was a little scared of what she was doing and where she would go once they ran out of road, she had never been to the west coast and wondered if she shouldn't veer in that direction in the morning or keep heading south.

"You know Woobie, this is the first irrational and spontaneous thing that I've done in years." She sighed and slowed the car down for a sharp turn into the campgrounds. "I feel like I'm in my twenties again and acting on the spur of the moment." Watching for an open camping area, she spoke to her sleeping dog and herself to cover up her nervousness. "How's this one Woobie, it's clean and we can look out over…the collection of dumpsters and port-a-potties…NOT!" She drove on until she was at the very end of the campgrounds. With only two spots left unoccupied, she pulled into the one that was farthest away from families. "There's either a lot of people who enjoy camping or a lot of cheap people." Her answer came when a handful of kids came charging out of the huge tent. "Geez, that's a bankroll to put all of them up at a motel." After turning her car off, she stretched and yawned wide. "Ok Woobie time to get to work, we have a lot of stuff that needs put together." An hour later, she was sitting amongst her tent that was in a jumble and the poles that were supposed to be holding her tent up.

"Looks like you need some help." An elderly gentleman said from across the ways. "Damn directions never work for me," he pointed to the handful of directions in her hand and spread out on the ground. "They give ya a damn novel of foreign languages and it takes half a page of explaining in English. Just toss the damn things away and go by instinct," he crossed the road and started picking up poles from the ground.

"Thank you, I was about to give up and sleep in my car." She said and was amazed that in a few seconds he had one set of poles together.

"No problem, been here myself a few hundred times." He looked up at her and smiled. "You're a tall one that's for sure, want some helpful advice?"

"Sure, I'm not one to turn down help or advice in this situation."

"Get some clothes that don't scream citified or attorney, ya stick out too much and that's one thing ya don't wanna do in an area like this."

She looked down at her gray slacks and white button down. "Yeah that would help; I wasn't thinking this morning and dressed like I was going to work instead of camping." In a few minutes, they had her small tent up; she thanked her savior again and went about getting her belongings inside. She was amazed that she was able to stand up inside without hunching over. "They were right when they on the outside of the box that said looks can be deceiving." She looked down at Woobie and rolled her eyes. "Ohh come on this won't be that bad, we have an air mattress, sleeping bag and all the comforts of home…ok, so not all the comforts." Going back out to her car, she got the Coleman stove and its stand, after a few minutes; she was heating up stew that she had bought earlier. "Now just look at that Woobie, just like at home…without the microwave, sterile cooking conditions of my kitchen and the comfort of bugs not falling inside it." She wrung her hands together, took deep breathes and tried to keep the darkness creeping at the corners of her eyes at bay. "It'll be alright, I can do this…there's no bugs in the stew…protein…extra protein if there is." She grabbed the pot from the burner and examined it until it grew cold. "If I die from eating this, let Murphy know how sorry I am about everything."

******************

Stewie stood beside her sister and tilted her head in the direction of the dark corner of the bar, they had been in the place for over three hours and the only time Murphy had moved was to go to the bathroom. Normally, she would have been chasing her umpteenth woman or sitting on the ground in the parking lot after the bouncer tossed her out. This was not their sister and they wondered how long it would be before she was back to her normally woman chasing self. "What are we gonna do Stew, I've never seen her like this at all over a woman, let alone one she was never intimate with?"

"It's only been what a day or two; we'll give her some time and see what happens. If she don't come around, we'll drop her off at the nearest convent."

"And what's that gonna do for her? Smootcher asked.

"Not a damn thing but it'll give us more women to chase and we'll get our own rooms." She gave her sister a huge grin and wiggled her eyebrows. "How's one more day sound and we drop her ass off with the penguins?"

"You're on, but I get her room, you got too much shit to move." They moved towards their gloomy sister and sighed, she was a pitiful sight. She gave 'crying into your beer' a completely new meaning, all she needed to do was wail and everyone would think she had just become a widow. "Ohh we have got to get you out of this place, you'll give us a bad reputation."

"We already got one," Murphy sniffled and wiped at her glistening cheeks. "Can't get much worse."

"Ohh yeah it can, remember when Smootcher flashed her tits and they banned us for six months?"

*****************

Mama D stood in the doorway shaking her heads as her kids stumbled up the driveway, she hated when they came home drunk. "In the basement with you three, I told ya no drunks in my house."

"We ain't drunk mama," Stewie said and fell to her knees. "We're fighting Murph!" She covered her head with her hands and waited for the smack of a tennis ball that she knew was coming. Murphy jumped on Smootcher's back, bit her ear and pulled on her hair with her free hand.

"Ohh for the love of God knock it off before I knock you off!" Mama said as she came down the steps towards her kids. "I should change the locks when you guys are out doing something completely asinine and useless." She pulled Murphy from her sisters back and dragged her by the back of her Levis into the house. "You three reek of smoke, do ya'll have to go to a place that lets people smoke?"

"Whose gonna tell a few hundred dykes and queens they can't?" Stewie mumbled and wiped at her smoke irritated eyes. "Do something with Murph; she's so depressing and weepy." She went towards the stairs and took off running so that she would be the first to take a shower and have hot water.

Mama took one look at Murphy and pulled her towards the kitchen, she had no idea what she was going to do with her but she had quite a few ideas, one was hanging her upside down until she gave up on her childish behavior. "I should have raised goldfish, one gets a little screwy and ya just flush the sucker down the toilet." She sighed when Murphy started crying all over again. "Maybe move to Florida with no forwarding address or phone number," she grinned at the idea and wondered if she could sneak off to the land of hurricanes and tropical storms. "The strongest wind couldn't move my huge ass."

*************

Judge sat on her sleeping bag twisting her hands to the point that her fingers were getting sore from the friction, she was at a complete loss as to what to do now that it was dark outside. She had arranged everything in the tent a few dozen times and couldn't do anything else with her small lot of possessions. Even cleaning the inside of her car had ended with fear of a dead car battery and no one to jump it. "You know what Woobie, the more I think about it the more that what I have done is a huge ass mistake," she twisted her fingers and then ran them through her hair for the hundredth time. "I should have just stayed home and tried to work things out there," she sighed when she saw that her dog was paying as much attention as she normally did while sleeping. "It's not like if we headed back now that I would be welcomed with open arms when I stepped up on the porch, a big barreled gun is Murphy's way of a greeting friend or foe."

She laid back, stared up at the material of her tent and wondered what would happen when it rained. She had noticed in the last few hours that her train of thought had jumped from one subject to the next like a flittering butterfly. She had also started to remember long forgotten things, stuff she wondered if she had really done or just imagined doing. It was a feeling of brushing fog and mist aside to see a clearer surrounding, if it was because of her present circumstances or lack of stress, she had no idea.

"Woobie did I bring all my medications with us or did I forget them along with other things?" Crawling on her knees she stopped where she had her overnight bag and small shaving kit bag, dumping the contents of the former, she cussed under her breath. "Damn it all to Hell and back," she rubbed her temples and tried to envision where she had set them. "I left them sitting on the table by the side door, now what am I gonna do?" She didn't know if it was wise to go with out the medication that she had been on for years but had no choice now. For one, she couldn't call up her doctor and ask for more. "I can't do that, he would call my mother and that would ruin the lie of me being locked in the nuthouse. I'll go without them and see what happens; the worse thing that could happen is I really get locked up in a nuthouse." What was really bothering her was the fact that she couldn't take a shower or wash her hands a couple hundred times like she would have done if at home or in a motel, she felt like a fish out of water and felt tremors coming closer to claim her body. Taking deep breathes and closing her eyes tight, she rocked from side to side with her arms wrapped tightly around her chest. A few minutes later, she was sound asleep and snoring loudly.

***********

Mama rubbed her tired eyes with the heels of her hands, she was beyond exhausted but wanted to make sure Murphy didn't do something stupid after she went to bed. "Now you listen to me you troll, no stupid damn stuff out of you, I'm tired and in no mood to kick your ass until noon." She leaned down and looked into bloodshot green eyes. "Judge is doing what she needs to do and I ain't gonna tell ya again, now get your ass to bed or else." She got to the door and turned back with a pointed finger. "Stop being such a pussy, my Murphy would let this roll off her back and chalk it up as experience. I have no idea who the weepy little troll is or where she came from, just wish she'd go away." She left without another word and went to her bedroom.

Murphy stared after her mama with wide eyes; Mama had never called anyone a pussy before and she was shocked. "She called me a weepy pussy…Eeewww that's just disgusting." She shivered and then slammed her hand down on the table. "I ain't no pussy…I'm just," she sighed and wiped at her tearstained face and took a shuttering breath. "So pissed and upset about being left that I don't know what else to do but cry." Fresh tears trailed down her face to drip onto the tabletop. "OK, I gotta go somewhere…do something before I jump off the nearest bridge." She got up from the table, headed upstairs to her bedroom and then into the steamy overheated bathroom. A few minutes later, a much cleaner Murphy jogged down the steps and out the front door. She bypassed the truck and kept on jogging all the way to her families bail bondsman office, using her keys; she opened the door and flipped all the lights on. Moving over to the desk that her mama had taken over, she dropped into the old chair and waited for the PC to boot up.

Tired of staring at the monitor, she got up, started a pot of coffee and cleaned the coffee mess area up to Judge's standards or at least close to it. A few minutes later, she was scanning through all the recent bail orders and skip reports, some of the missing people were real scumbags. "How in the hell do you keep getting out of jail on your own recognizance?" She read down the report and counted all the times the man had been before the judge and for what reason. "You have seven DWI's and all of them were thrown out of court?" She hit print and waited for the full report to come from the printer, there was just something very wrong with this individual or more likely the justice system. Flipping through the pages, she came to the man's biography and cussed under her breath. "God damn useless family…inbred assholes…Social Security scheming sons of bitches…you're all going down if I have to run for public office to do it!" She placed the papers on one corner of the desk and went back to looking for more troublemakers in the skip files.

The sun had been up for hours and Murphy was still at the desk looking over files, she rubbed her eyes and leaned back into the chair. Closing her eyes, she swiveled the chair back and forth for a few minutes before getting up. "What to do first…get some breakfast or go get some creeps off the streets?" Grabbing the files, she got up and headed from the office and down the street to Billy's restaurant. She did better work on a full stomach and just didn't feel like going all the way home to eat. In the hours that she had been at the computer, she had come across a dozen and a half of skips that needed picked up ASAP. She would start as soon as she ate and got the truck from home, thankfully her sisters were the type who slept until noon so she could take the truck without questions or company. She went over to her favorite table and sat down, she didn't need to order, and everyone who worked there knew what she wanted.

"You're all alone this morning?" Mildred one of the very first waitresses from the day the place opened more than 50 years before said as she placed a cup of coffee in front of her.

"Yep, got an early start this morning," she took a sip of her coffee and added sugar and cream. "So many nasty damn people in this city, I could work twenty-four hours a day and not get all of them."

"I know what you mean," she squeezed Murphy's shoulder. "I see most of them walk right past here and go into the sheriff's office right across the street; now he's one that needs to be put behind bars." She moved a few steps away. "I'll be right back with your breakfast; we just got this morning's paper on the counter if you're interested." As she waited for her food, she watched out the windows at the traffic and people. What she wanted to do was run out, herd them right across the street in through the front doors of the jailhouse; it would be quicker to toss the few innocents out the door than pull the criminals inside.

**************

Judge woke to Woobie jumping on her chest and barking in a tone that could make your ears bleed; she covered her ears and mumbled before rolling over and onto the hard ground. "Shit, why didn't you warn me?" She asked and rolled to her knees. "Forgot where I was and I can't believe I slept through the night in a tent." Rubbing her face, she looked down at her hands and panicked, she always washed her hands before touching her face in the morning. Moving over to where she had arranged her sanitation gear, she grabbed a handful of handiwipes and did the best she could with those. "What am I going to do Woobie; I never planed anything past this?" Woobie spun in circles and barked at the tops of her lungs. Ohh all right already, just give me two seconds to get the flap opened."

Before she could get it opened a quarter of the way, Woobie was out and running towards the open grassy area across from the tent. "That's weird, she ran out without worrying that her feet might get dirty." After getting dressed, she went over to where the porta-potties were and checked each one before going to the cleanest. What had the other campers near by curious, was the large plastic bucket over flowing with bottles and brushes. Fifteen minutes later, she dropped the dirty rags and sponges into a plastic bag, shed her rubber gloves and disappeared inside the porta-potty. When she came out, she saw that she had an audience. "The place needed cleaned, you know how many germs and diseases are on the surfaces of a place like that?" She walked past everyone and headed back to her tent. "Guess I'll pack up and get us back on the road to…somewhere." She noticed that she was talking to herself and lowered her voice.

An hour later with the car packed to perfection and the area cleaned up of all evidence that she had ever been there, she got behind the wheel and started the car. "Ok, now where are we going, further south or in the east or west direction," She looked over to see that her companion was sound asleep on the passenger seat. "You are of no help to me what's so ever, you know that right?"

*****************

Murphy rubbed at her gritty bloodshot eyes, she had lost count of how long it had been since she had slept or changed her clothes. She knew it had to be days since she had not done anything close to cleaning up and people were starting to shy away when she walked past. "Funny how the company I've been keeping hasn't complained not once about me reeking." She shot a Barbie wanna-be a glare and pushed the cuffed bail jumper she had in custody in through the open door of the police station. "I hope you like your new residence cuz you ain't getting out after this."

"Lady, after being stuck in a truck with the driver from hell, this place is the safest place I could be." He wiped his nose on his sleeve and blinked his watery eyes. "And it smells a whole hell of a lot better, you allergic to soap and water?"

"No but the pig farmer I brought in before you is, now shut the hell up and get in there." She sighed with fatigue and dropped into a chair when an officer took the man towards the holding cells. "That's it for me, I need some sleep." She yawned and felt her jaw pop.

"I am sure glad to hear that, I have carpal tunnel from doing all the damn paperwork you caused." A tall black officer said as he dropped a stack of papers in front of her. "What's gotten into you sis and where's Smootcher and Stewie?"

"They're mama's slaves for the week." She picked up the papers and stuffed them into the leather case she had by her foot.

"What did they do this time?" He brother asked.

"While mama was out running around, they took all the doors off the kitchen cabinets."

He cocked a bushy eyebrow over his left eye and shot her a crooked grin. "What did they do just leave it like that and why did they do it to begin with?"

"We got the new doors so we could refinish the cabinets but they were supposed to wait for me and then we were gonna do one cabinet at a time, not demolish the kitchen."

"Ohh but that's the Whistler way, tear things up and then sit in the middle of the mess and ponder where we went wrong." He leaned back in his chair and really looked at his younger sister. "You look like shit, go home and get some sleep and I don't wanna see you in here for at least a week. Believe it or not sis, we're running out of cells for all the creeps you keep bringing in. Not to mention the new assistant district attorney is gonna be putting the business end of a gun barrel in his mouth when he gets all these reports." He tapped the pile to his left. "I sure wish your friend was still around, she may have been…eccentric but she got the job done in mere minutes compared to days sometimes weeks with these other clowns we deal with."

"I wish she was still around to, any word on her car," she held up a hand when he opened his mouth. "I know it's wrong and there's the whole crossing jurisdictions and everything, I just wanna know that she's safe."

"Nothing yet, look sis, it's only been a few days. You never know, she may be back by the end of the week."

"Come on Jeff, she signed her house over to me and gave the mayor her resignation, she may never come back and I'm finding it hard to cope with."

"What you need is a vacation, sit at home, read some books, watch some TV and just veg out for a while. Hell, I wish I had the house all to myself to do what I wanted, it's been years since I got to watch what I wanted on the TV."

She chuckled at the picture of her brother having to watch some girly programs with his wife and three daughters. "You could always come over to Judge's and watch the hockey game with me and the idiots."

His face light up and then dimmed. "I'll let you know, with soccer games, band practice and kendo classes, we're lucky to have two minutes to spare. I do have girls right?"

"You are one lucky man Jeff, you have a beautiful wife and three talented girls, what more can a man want?"

"True, at least I'll never have to worry about them not being able to protect themselves, let some guy try something when Julia gets to college." He let out a long sigh. "We're getting old Murph; my baby is two months away from going to college and then it's either the FBI or law school, my luck it'll be both."

"Look at it this way, the Whistler clan will be in charge of all the law enforcement agencies, we can rule the world!" She got up from her chair, tapped his desk and then pointed at the pile of reports on his desk. "I'll take a few days off so you can recuperate, c-ya Jeff, say hi to the girls and your boss at home." She left the police station, went out to the truck and drove to Judge's house. Her name may be on the deed but it would always be Judge's house. Leaving everything in the truck, she walked slowing to the side door and let herself in. Taking a deep breath, she took in the scent of cinnamon that filled the house. "Hope you're having fun where ever you are Judge." Going into the bathroom, she stripped off her clothes, placed them into the proper hampers and then got into the shower. She had yet to sleep in the house since Judge had left; she just came here maybe to clean up and to bring the mail in.

Standing beneath the hot spray of the shower, she closed her eyes and dropped her chin down to her chest. Slowly her tight neck and shoulder muscles began to relax and her body started to ache from long hours of activity and lack of sleep. When she was finished with her shower, she dressed in some of Judge's sweats and fell across her neatly made bed. It wasn't long before she was sound asleep and dreaming of chasing a fat man through a field full of huge muddy sows.

***************

"Where the HELL are we?" Judge asked and flipped the map in her hands around a few times before it sort of made sense, she had zoned out and missed a few exits on the highway and now had no idea where she was and that included the state. She cussed under her breath and threw the map out the window. "Just great," she rubbed her face and leaned back in her seat. "What to do keep going or turn around and take the last exit?" She looked at Woobie and groaned. "You are no help, guess we'll just keep going until we hit an exit with a sign for a motel." She was sore and stiff from sleeping on her small air mattress and wanted a nice hot shower to ease all her aches and pains away. Not to mention to save what little bit of sanity she had left, she had gone through a few 1000 sheet tubs of sani-wipes and needed to find a dry cleaner and laundry-mat to do the rest of her dirty clothes.

She had still yet to pick an actual place to stay with some kind of permanency; everyone she knew would alert her parents that they had seen her. Having that happen would not be a good thing and would end her freedom in a mere second. "That bitch has way too much power, too many years of getting dirt on people and using it for blackmail." She floored the gas pedal and headed off back down the road, she just hoped there was something close by because she hadn't noticed any camp grounds in the area.

"This just really sucks, I should have bought one of those big atlas map books," she squinted at the green highway sign that had to be a good mile down the road. "Next place we stop I'm getting one, this just sucks ass. Now I'm sounding like one of the Whistlers, next I'll be acting like one of them." Thoughts of Murphy flowed through her mind, she wondered what she was doing and how pissed she was at her for just up and leaving with out a word. As she was daydreaming, she caught sight of the international symbol for hotels and motels from the corner of her eye. Slamming on the breaks, she slid sideways into the exit lane and then continued. It was afterwards that she thought about other drivers on the road, fortunately it was close to 2am in the morning and traffic was very thin where she was. "Well Woobie looks like we're in Roanoke Rapids N. Carolina." She slowed as she came to the end of the off ramp, looked both ways and saw a sign for a Holiday Inn Express. "Now that's what I'm talking about, a hot shower and a real honest to god bed to sleep in!" After she had gotten a room, she went to her car for Woobie and her small gym bag that had her clothes and essentials in it. The other stuff could wait until she checked the room out; hopefully the room wouldn't need much cleaning.

When she opened the door and flipped on the light, she sighed with relief. The room was bright, smelled clean and the air was warm and cozy. "This is a hell of a lot better than sleeping in a tiny tent with bugs slamming into the side of the thing and creepy crawlies doing their thing." Woobie ran right over to the bed, jumped onto it and took her spot in the middle. She'd had enough of her mistresses rants and what not for the day, she stretched out and covered her face with her paws. Getting what she needed for her shower, she headed to the bathroom and stopped in the doorway. A smile brightened her face at the sight of a paper band on the toilet seat lid. "It's been years since I've seen one of those, hope the rest of the place is just as clean." She checked the shower and just gave in; she was beyond exhausted and just wanted to take a shower and go to sleep. In the past, after her shower was when she would take some of her medication, it then dawned on her once again that she didn't have them. "Come to think of it, I feel better and not as edgy. That's just got to be a plus for me, for once that is, probably never needed all those damn pills." With in minutes, she was in bed and asleep beside her dog.

***************

Murphy rolled over and bumped into something strange, she reached out, poked the object, and growled. "How the hell did you get in here Smootcher?"

"Wait a minute," Smootcher growled back. "How did ya know it was me, coulda been Stewie?"

"If I poked Stewie, she would've busted out laughing and fell on the floor." She looked up at her sister and had the weirdest feeling that her head was lopsided.

"Nice do Murph, bet it took hours to get it that way."

"Shut up, what are ya doing here?"

"We came for the truck; ya had it for how many days now, besides we got a skip to pick up."

"We don't have any left to get unless this came in over night." She rolled from bed and groaned from stiffness in her joints.

"What do ya mean; we pulled up all kinds of them yesterday." She followed her sister to the bathroom and stood outside the closed door. "We had a total of five guys ta pick up today." She yelled and jumped when the door swung open.

"Already got 'em," she went up on her toes and jabbed Smootcher in her chest. "I was out working while you lazy bitches were in bed sleeping," she went over to one of the dressers and searched for something to wear. "So guess what we're doing today?"

"Playing PS2?"

"Try fixing the kitchen cabinets you two geniuses took all apart, surprised you're still alive after mama got a hold of ya."

"Just wait until ya see Stewie, she didn't fair to good this time." She grinned to herself when she noticed how Murphy was moving from one dresser to the next getting what she needed. "You're looking a little DCO…DOC, what ever the Hell Judge is, maybe it's contagious and we'll all get it from being in this house!"

Murphy looked up from what she was doing and snorted. "The Gods know you two sure need it, damn pigs…did I say that?" She knew that the three of them were huge pigs when it came to their bedrooms and the bathroom that they shared, they had always been that way no matter what mama did to correct it. "Damn, maybe she's right?" She looked down at the clothes she had in her hands and rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna look like a street urchin, damn tall people."

When she went out into the kitchen, she just stood and stared at Stewie. "What in the hell happened to you?" She looked at her two black eyes and the strange bruise mark on her forehead.

"Ohh nothing, just mama's backhand, she's dangerous as hell when she's wound up!" She touched her forehead and winced. "I shoulda ducked instead of dodged, broke the tennis ball on my head though, that was kinda cool."

What was cooler was you falling face first into the net and then doing a flip over it." Smootcher said as she examined the coffee maker. "Where's the water go in this thing?"

"You are hopeless," Murphy flipped the top up on the sunbeam coffee maker and then pulled the coffee strainer and water container loose. "We got these at work, remember?"

"I don't play with the household stuff, it's boring. Ohh before I forget, I think they fired ya."

"Ohh who cares, that place isn't fun anymore, besides who needs it?" she pointed to the leather folder on the table. "There's all the skip paperwork, just needs taken back to the office. Just to warn ya, Jeff says he doesn't wanna see us in the station for a few days, I just about killed him with all the paperwork."

Stewie sat down at the table across from her and held her with her eyes, she knew that they couldn't help her with what she was going through but she could try. "Since we don't have anything to do, wanna take a break and just chill for a while?"

"You sound just like Jeff; he said to veg out or something." She got a look in her eyes that scared both her sisters. "Wanna go with me to look at a new work vehicle?"

Smootcher gave her an intense look and leaned in closer. "What did you do to my truck?"

"Nothing, we need a bigger one with lots of seats…a school bus. We need a great big school bus; we can weld ankle cuffs to the floor and the same with other restraints." She pulled a plate over and held it out to Smootcher who filled it with food. "I got us a contract with the Homeland Security Agency and to do the job, we need a great big yellow bus." She grinned at their shocked expressions and started eating like a starved dog. "So I was thinking that we go over to the state line auction and see if they have one, if not, we check with the river rafters and see if we can buy one of their old ones."

"I think you went off the deep end, no way Homeland Security wants help from us." Stewie replied and looked to Smootcher. "A couple of bounty hunters who chase down bail skippers, I don't even think so."

"Ohh come on guys, this will be easy, all we gotta do is pick up all the illegal aliens in the area and bus them to INS at Dulles airport, they take 'em off our hands and give us receipts that we then give to the acting agent for Homeland."

Smootcher groaned and dropped down at the table, she knew they were in trouble. "And just how do we know who's' an illegal and who's not?"

"Easy," Murphy grinned. "We show up at the horse barns at the race track, flash a badge and tackle who ever runs."

"Ohh easy as pie," Stewie remarked. "We might as well set up a cattle chute into the bus, they're all illegal. What's next, the apple orchard in Bardane and Kearneysville or maybe the titty bar?" She grinned widely with the last one.

"Yep, ya got it and I'm sure we can get a bus load of them out at the mall."

"We are sooo screwed," Smootcher groaned. "We can't do this with just the three of us, we need some help."

****************

Judge looked around the Roanoke Rapids and sighed, she was lucky that she had found a laundry mat and was able to wash her dirty clothes. The place was like Leesburg Virginia, there were mini malls, strip malls you name it and they had it. The Super Wal-Mart had her head spinning; it was at the least three times larger than the one in Charlestown. She looked down into her cart and wondered where she was going to put everything in her car. Looking at all the cleaning supplies she had, she started putting some of them back and just left the Lysol cleaner and some bathroom wipes in the cart. "What were you thinking Judge, you have limited space and you're shopping like you did at home." Checking the rest of the items, she headed into the men's department for socks and some sweats and sweatshirts. She needed clothes that would stand up to the dropping temperatures and wear with the abuse that she was putting on them. A grin came to her face when memories of her rebellious college days came forth.

"Maybe some t-shirts, heavy socks and a pair of work boots, maybe some boxers like Murph wears?" She found herself thinking more of her smaller friend and wished that she were there at times. "She would have kicked me in my ass for just thinking of camping out without so much as a knife for protection." Wheeling her cart around, she headed to the sports department and stopped in front of the glass case that held the rifles and shotguns. In less than five minutes, she had a .12 gauge Remington shotgun and three boxes of shells. She asked the sales person where she could buy a handgun and now had an address for a shop close by, when she was done; she would be able to protect herself and half the town.

"I really need a big truck with a camper or maybe a Winnebago type thing, tour all the states and never need to get a motel room. My own shower and bed, park anywhere and sleep." She grabbed a newspaper from the machine on her way back to her car; she would look but didn't have her hopes up. "Might just get lucky, if not there's always the next town or city, could go to Atlanta and see what they have there." She packed the car, tossed Woobie a rawhide chew and then crawled behind the wheel. "One more stop and we head back to the motel, in the morning we'll head to Atlanta and check out a Winnebago if we don't find one here, how's that sound?" Woobie ignored her and just kept chewing on her rawhide.

***********

Judge looked in the glass cases at each handgun displayed; she didn't need something that would take down a tank just a man or two. She had liked the guns that the whistlers carried but wanted something a little fancier. She spotted a Berretta 92FS Brigadier Inox .9mil handgun, waving her hand; she waited for the salesperson to come over. "Tell me about this handgun, you know the stats."

"That's one of the newer versions we've gotten in, it's semi to full automatic, double to single action. It has rubber handgrips, stainless steel barrel, magazine holds 17 bullets and it weighs almost 34 oz unloaded. It's easy on the wrist and hardly has any kick to it. We have a shooting range in the back if you want to try it out?"

"That sounds like a good idea, let me try the Px4 Storm as well." She handed him her driver's license and followed him to a side door that led to the shooting range. "It's been a while since I shot a handgun, I have an old .45 at home in my closet."

"I prefer a .45 to a .9 mil," he loaded the magazines and handed the Px4 to her to fire. "I'm old school; I used a .45 in Vietnam and never found anything that I liked better."

She braced her gun hand with the palm of her left hand and wrapped her fingers around the outside of her right hand. Aiming at the target, she squeezed the trigger and felt the slight kick in her hand. She fired off the rest of the clip and placed it on the shelf in front of her. "That's a sweet gun; I can see why the cops are switching over."

"Yeah, it's a little smaller but built better in my opinion." He handed her the Brigadier and watched how she handled it. "You handle a gun like a cop."

"I was taught by one many years ago, he told me that I had a natural way with guns." She fired off the first shot and checked the new target before finishing off the other rounds. "I'll have to practice some, anyone not four foot wide or better is safe from me." She pulled the target up and looked at the loose grouping in the chest area.

"You're better than some of the people that come in here every week, the perp would still drop with what you've done here."

"You sound like a cop," she grinned and handed him back the Brigadier. "As long as I knock them down, I'm happy."

"So what did you think?" He asked as they went back up to the front of the store.

"Do you have two of the Brigadiers?"

He stopped and felt his jaw drop; it had been a long time since he had sold two handguns that went for over $800.00 each. "Sure do, I'll throw in two cleaning kits and carrying cases for free."

"I'll need a leather double shoulder holster and six boxes of rounds," she thought for a second and added something else. "Do you have the side saddle shotgun shell holders, it holds six shells?"

"Just got some of those in, we have the slings as well, they hold 55 shells."

"I'll take one of those as well and laser sights for both handguns."

"Do you mind if I ask why all the ammo and weaponry?"

"I'm traveling across country with just my dog and it's just not safe on the road anymore." She pulled her permit to carry a concealed weapon from her wallet along with her District attorneys badge and ID. She grinned when his eyes widened at the gold badge.

"Guess we don't have to worry about the waiting period, not like honest people who buy guns from a place like this are going to go out and commit a crime. Those people buy a gun on a street corner or back alley somewhere, not like I need to tell you this."

"I know all about that all too well, one of the reasons why I'm arming myself so well." She took her purchases out to her car, opened the door and sighed at the sight of Woobie stretched out across the front seat. "Some damn watch dog you are, I could be here to steal this piece of shit car and you would let me." She placed her bags in the backseat and then crawled behind the wheel; she sat for a few minutes to reflect on what she had done in the last few weeks and shook her head. "What else do we need to get before we head back to the motel room?" She thought for a few minutes before pulling out onto the main road, she would check out the mall and see if they had an LL Bean store or something similar. "Ok Woobie, one more stop and we're done for the day, I should have really thought all this out first before we took off."

*****************

Smootcher rolled onto her back and groaned from the stiffness in her shoulders and knees, they had been working on their bus since early that morning and were still fighting with the ankle restraints and floor mounts. If she could walk, she would go into the house and kick Murphy in her ass. "That's it I'm done, I can't kneel no more, so that means I ain't welding either." She flipped her welders shield up and turned the welding torch all the way off. "How many more do we have to do before we're done?"

Stewie arched her back and whimpered. "I think maybe a dozen or so, I have all the rigs for the handcuffs done, they just need welded to the seat frame." She moved over to her sister and sat down in one of the seats. "Why ain't Murphy helping us, this was all her idea?"

"Uuhhmm…she's in doing the kitchen cabinets, I sorta made a deal with her. She would do the cabinet doors and I'd save us from her and the welding torch. She shouldn't even be allowed to use matches or be anywhere near an open flame."

Stewie snickered as she remembered when Murphy had to explain to one of their brothers that his car was now crispy because she heated up the gas tank while welding new muffle brackets on. "Good thing, a bus would be a big boom compared to a little Geo Metro." She shed her leather gloves and sat thinking for a few seconds. "Do ya think she's burying herself in work so she doesn't think about Judge, I mean look at all the skips she brought in by herself and then getting us this contract with Homeland security?"

"Better her working than sitting around crying all the time, I mean Murphy being a weepy lil troll is just…gross and so un-Whistler like." Smootcher shivered and rubbed her hands together.

"Maybe but she looks terrible, I think we better keep an eye on her, you know to make sure she's not working 24/7."

***************

"Will you sit your ass down already, you're making me sick watching you run around like an idiot!" Mama said and pointed a finger at Murphy.

"I wanna get all the doors on so this place doesn't look like Katrina came through and camped for a week." She grabbed another door and held it up to the cabinet, she had found that some of them needed the hinges moved or they wouldn't close right. "I think the house is sinking on one end, the cabinets are way off, may have to jack it up from the basement."

"Let the damn thing sink, now sit down and eat while I get your sisters in here." She went out the back door and shook her head at the blue and white school bus sitting in the driveway; never would she have thought that one of her kids would buy a damn school bus. She had to admit that Murphy had done good with getting them a Government contract and it would boost their already excellent reputation in the bounty hunter business. "All right get your asses in here and eat before Murphy covers the food in sawdust!" She stepped up onto the bus and wrinkled her nose. "What's burning in here?"

"Nothin mama, I was welding." Smootcher hobbled to the front of the bus and whimpered for effect. "My knees are killing me, I need some of those kneepads before I go cripple."

"Stop your whining and get in the house and before I forget, call Jeff."

"Why, when we have to call him it's always bad news." Stewie mumbled. "Probably something about one of the skips Murph took in."

"Nope, something about the new District attorney wanting you guys locked up for something." Mama replied.

"Ooohh so then it is all Murph's fault," Stewie said. "She can call Jeff and see what she did wrong." She grinned and jumped past mama to run into the house and terrorize Murphy.

*************

"Never again, I refuse to do anything with cabinets ever ever again!" She dropped down into a chair and looked at the last door sitting on the floor. "God damn things must be made by blind men, damn hinges all crooked and shit." She took a drink of her Coke and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand. "I need to sleep for about two days and then some."

"I hear that you can sleep all ya want in jail." Stewie said and danced past her sister. "The new DA wants you in orange with a white number across your back."

"Who says?"

"That's what Jeff told mama, you gotta call him ASAP." She dropped down into a chair, gave Stewie her best smile, and pointed at the phone on the table. "Go ahead I wanna hear you scream about being someone's jailhouse bitch."

"In your dreams Stewie," She growled and grabbed the phone. "If anyone's gonna be a jailhouse bitch it's you and Smootcher." She dialed their brother's office number and waited. "Hey Jeff it's me, what did the DA want?"

"Ohhhh did you piss off the wrong people Murph, you brought in the Sheriffs brother for skipping on a DWI court appearance, he was none to pleased about it and wants you…dead. The DA threw the case out after the sheriff pressured him by jacking him up against the wall and threatening to throw the door on his closet open."

"For Christ sakes," she slammed her palm down on the table and made Stewie jump. "What the fuck is wrong with the DA, hell, our so called Justice system, that asshole has seven DWI's and he's still running loose!"

"I know Murph, we pick him up and they turn him loose before we can even get the paperwork started."

"We need to get that asshole out of the sheriff's office and a DA with some damn balls!" She felt her blood pressure skyrocket along with her temper; she hated nothing more than crooked politicians and cops.

"I agree with you Murph but that will never happen until someone comes along that has more pull than he does, his damn family are the ones who keep him in office."

Murphy started to grin evilly, Stewie, Smootcher and mama knew that her brain was going on overdrive and that just wasn't safe. They looked to each other and backed up into the living room for safety. "I might just know someone who can knock his ass out of office, when's the elections for Jefferson County?"

"In two or three months I think, no ones ever beat him before Murph; I hope this person has deep pockets and a Hell of a reputation."

She gave him an evil laugh. "Ohhhh believe me, this person is richer than Bill Gates and has a Hell of a rep." She hung up and sat with a cocked eyebrow and smirk covering her face. "The asshole is history."

"Who is she talking about?" Mama whispered.

"Don't know but I ain't digging no grave to hide the body." Smootcher said.

"Don't look at me," Stewie whispered back. "Last time I dug a hole the power and cable company wanted to sue me."

****************

Judge stood beside the bed and looked down at all the stuff she had bought that day, if she kept it up, she would need a u-haul trailer to haul it. One of the things that she had gotten would be of big help at night; it was an all in one deal with small TV, radio, strobe light, flashlight/lantern combo and tire pump. She had found it at one of the outdoor stores she had wandered in at the mail, no more nights of trying to find something with a small flashlight or being bored with no TV or without the latest local weather information. Taking it from its box, she set it on the floor, broke the box down, and set it aside. Next, were her new Beretta's, she filled all the magazines, slipped the extras into the extra magazine pouches and the last two into her guns. With her guns in the double harness, she placed the cleaning kits into the leather cases and placed the boxes to the side. When she was finished with all her new purchases, she had a pile of boxes to take out to the dumpster. "I'll be right back, stay off my new clothes." She pointed a finger at Woobie and knew it would do no good.

As she went out the door with her hands full, she noticed two men walking in the parking lot. Ignoring them, she went about her way to the dumpster. When she headed back, she saw only one man, what made her uneasy was that he standing near the cars and was looking about. Moving closer to where her room was, she pulled her Koga SD1 from her back pocket and held it in her left hand. She had never actually used the self-defense weapon on a real human but had watched the DVD that came with it. She had to remind herself that it had been years since she had even hit anyone and maybe she should just run to her room and lock the door. As she got closer, she saw that the other man was trying to get her car door open with a slim Jim. "Get away from my car," she strode forward, punched the lookout man in the jaw and shoved him over the hood of the car he was standing by. "Get the fuck out of here before I call the police."

"How about you get the fuck outta here or I'll put you in the trunk?" He said as he moved into her personal space and shoved her backwards. "Now run along or else bitch."

"Bitch…" she raised her left eyebrow. "I hate being called a bitch." She growled right before she struck downward on the man's collarbone and heard a loud crunch. "No one calls me a bitch and doesn't end up in the ICU!" She used a backhanded movement and jabbed him in his solar plexus. "Lights out asshole." As he fell, she came downward with a right cross and heard his jaw break.

"Holy shit lady…"

His partner yelled and tried to run past her, she threw out her leg and tripped him. "You should have run when I said so the first time." She opened her car, grabbed her shotgun and pointed it at his chest. "Move and they'll need a shovel for your remains." Pulling her cell phone from her belt, she dialed 911 and asked for an ambulance and a police officer. She was leaning against her car when police cars and an ambulance showed up. She slowly raised her arms over her head and turned so that the police officers spotlight hit her chest.

"Put the shotgun on the roof of the car, lace your fingers behind your head and drop to your knees!" He yelled while another police officer moved slowly around behind Judge and grabbed the shotgun from the roof of the car. Judge didn't flinch, she didn't want bullet holes in her new shirt. She let the officer cuff one hand and let him move her arms down and behind her back to cuff them together.

"OK, now I'm going to help you up and you're going to stay at the front of the cruiser." He pulled her to her feet and watched as she moved to stand in the headlights.

"I'm so glad to see you guys," The car thief cried. "She's nuts, I thought she was gonna kill us!"

"And just why would she do that," The officer asked and held out another pair of cuffs. "Seems to me that I've hauled you in numerous times before, and I believe it was for stealing cars or stealing items from cars, same goes for your friend there."

"We weren't doing anything, she just came out of nowhere and beat my buddy up and then threatened to shot me."

The officer pushed him down into a sitting position near the front of the car and then checked on his friend. "Need the paramedics over here, this guy is out cold." He turned, saw the slim Jim sticking out of Judge's window and pulled it out by the very tip. "Ohh she just attacked us for no reason, wanna make a bet this has both your fingerprints on it?"

The officer from the cruiser stepped up to Judge and turned her around, seeing the gold badge clipped to her belt he stepped towards her car for the license plate number. "What's your name?"

"District Attorney Judge T. Bloodstone the V. are these handcuffs really necessary?" She was slowly going nuts she hated being restrained. "My ID is in my wallet, just look at it."

"Let me call in your plates and then we'll see about the cuffs."

She would have thought that being a public official they would have treated her differently. "This is just fucking ridiculous, I catch two car thieves breaking into my car and I'm in handcuffs."

"Keep it up and you'll be in the back of the cruiser," The officer spit back. "You had a shotgun pointed at one guy and the other looks like a truck hit him, we could book you on assault."

"And I can bring up charges against them as well as the Police Department, why don't you just call your Sergeant and let him decide if I need to be cuffed like a common criminal." She knew she had gotten nowhere when he got into his cruiser and used the computer to find out if she was lying about whom she was. She leaned back against the hood of the cruiser and watched as the paramedics placed her victim on a stretcher, she grinned when he let out a loud moan and slapped at the one of the paramedics hands. "Hope your mouth gets wired shut ya rotten bastard." She felt the old Judge resurfacing and felt a bit of freedom with it.

"Your license plate checks out," the officer reported and then came around to unlock her cuffs. "What are you doing in North Carolina?"

"Does it matter," she rubbed her wrists and held him with silvery eyes. "A little over 14 hours here and I catch two scumbags breaking into my car; I'm cuffed and treated like a criminal after calling 911. I can guarantee that I won't spend a minute longer here than necessary."

"Will you be pressing charges?"

"What the Hell for, it's obvious that those two have never and will never see the inside of a jail for longer than it takes the judge to release them to their own recognizance. I can only hope that the next person, who catches them, shoots them instead of retaining them for the police." She took her shotgun from the other officer, locked her car and went back to her room.

He watched her go and shook his head at his partner. "You know your cousins Jim and Larry are gonna get killed one of these days and it'll be their own fault."

The officer who had given Judge the hard time shrugged, he knew it would happen eventually, he just hoped it wasn't on his watch. "That dumb ass better not wanna press charges, I think she'd bury him under the jail."

**********

"Now I know why the Whistlers scream bloody murder, asshole justice system sucks ass, I hope she knows that it sucks ass in every state." No sooner had she got in her room than someone was pounding on the door. "Jesus fucking Christ what the Hell is wrong now!" She yanked the door open to see the manager with his hand raised.

"I had some complaints from other patrons that you had caused a disturbance…"

"I caused the disturbance, let me tell you something," she raised her voice and her finger to jab him in his chest. "I go outside and find two men breaking into my car, if those patrons were so damn nosey and had enough time to call you then why the Hell didn't you or they come outside to help me or call the police?"

"I don't know what to say…" He flinched when she stepped closer to him and bared her teeth.

"You can say have a good night and the room is free."

"But I can't do that…"

"I'm a District Attorney, one phone call from me and I'll cause all kinds of hate and discontent, got me?"

"Yes ma'am." He stumbled backwards, turned and kept his eye on her all the way back to the office.

"Sniveling little worm," she went back into her room and leaned back against the closed door. "Sure hope no one calls to see if I'm a DA," she unclipped her badge and tossed it on the bed. "Unbelievable how the justice system fails and so many assholes get to walk the streets, maybe I should have taken the Judgeship and tossed a few hundred in prison." She headed for the bathroom for a shower and thought of what her future could have held if she had stayed in West Virginia. "I could have been the Honorable Judge Bloodstone of Jefferson county circuit court," she sighed and shook her head. "Too late now."

***************

Murphy came into the kitchen and sat down at the table across from mama; she rubbed her face and placed her elbows on the table. "Mama I need some help."

"And don't I know it, been saying that for years."

"Not that kind mama, I need help with campaigning for an election." She watched as mama stopped pouring coffee and turned to look at her with wide eyes. "I wanna run for Sheriff of Jefferson County."

"Murphy, he's never been beaten before." She handed Murphy her coffee and stood next to her. "Because a Whistler has never run against him, the man is history." She squeezed Murphy's shoulder and gave out a holler that had the drapes moving. "My baby's gonna be Sheriff!"

"I think the elections in a few months; can we pull something together in that short of time?"

"I can pull together just about anything in that amount of time, after all I have an abundance of volunteers." She grinned wickedly and reached for the phone.

Murphy knew all to well what that meant, mama would rope in every available relative, which meant that the house would be Grand Central Station until the very end. "Thanks mama, if I become Sheriff I'm gonna tip this county on its ass and clean house."

"When you become Sheriff, it'll be the best thing that's happened in this county in years, damn corrupt asshole we have now." She took the phone and a pad of paper with her into the living room; she had a mission to get underway. "And the basement is your campaign office, it had better be clean."

******************

Early the next morning, Judge was in a rare mood. "We are getting the Hell out of this place Woobie, car thieves, helpful employees and spectators. I could have been killed out there and they would have just gone on about looking out their damn doors and windows, rotten sons of bitches." She piled the last of her belongings near the door and went about looking around for anything she may have missed. "Did I get everything?" She looked around and headed back into the bathroom to look it over again. "Ok, now where the Hell am I going to put all this stuff?" She ran her fingers through her hair and stood there looking at the huge pile. Looking down at the clothes she had on, she decided to change into something else and toss what she had on out, including her dress shoes. "I'm doing all of this to change so I'll start with my clothes, kind of stupid to travel in dress clothes to begin with." A few minutes later, she wore new Levi's, work boots and a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled to mid forearm. She looked in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door and saw a resemblance to the old Judge. Taking all her dress clothes, she placed them inside her old gym bag and set it to the side. "Stop looking at me you bald ass dog, I didn't always dress in suits and such."

After she had packed her car as best she could, she went back into her room, pulled her holsters on and then put on her old hooded sweatshirt. Checking her wallet and pockets, she clipped her badge to the front of her belt and grabbed Woobie. "Time to check out, that asshole better not have charged me or I'll shoot his spineless ass." She put Woobie in the car and then crawled behind the wheel. "Anyone comes near my car, you bit the shit outta them." She stopped right outside the office door and saw the man from the night before trying to hide behind the counter. She went into the office and slammed the room key down onto the counter. "I'm checking out, so get your spineless ass over here."

"Just go, there's no charge." He hid back behind swinging door that led to the small lobby area. "Please lady; just go so I can have some peace."

She gave him a wicked grin and slapped the counter top once more before leaving the office. She jogged back out to her car and jumped in. "OK Woobie, we're going to Atlanta after I drop my old clothes off at a thrift store." It took her a while to find a thrift store and then she had trouble finding her way back to the interstate. Once she found an exit for I-95, it was almost noon. "Wasted almost half the morning getting lost, what would ya say we stop at the next exit and get something to eat?" Woobie gave her a look and dropped down on the seat next to her. "What aren't you hungry? She then realized that Woobie wasn't laying on her favorite blanket and didn't have a treat between her paws. "Ohh Hell, why didn't you say something…almost two weeks ago?" She sighed. "OK, tell ya what, next place we stop I'll buy you a new blanket. New blanket for a new start on life, I'll even get you one of those big ass bones to chew on and you know I've never let you have one of those before because they're so messy."

****************

Smootcher, Stewie and Murphy stood outside one of the bars frequented by illegal aliens, two of their brothers Steve and Alan stood at the back door with the bus door wide open. They hoped that they would be able to usher them onto the bus without any problem, they had two more of their brothers Billy and Gary inside the bus to help if there was any problem. "Are ya sure we can do this Murph?" Smootcher asked in a low whisper.

"Should, after all, they always run out the back door." She placed her hand on the door handle and waited for Stewie to press the door buzzer that would alert the bartender to open the door. "Now remember, we flash our badges and whoever runs towards the front door we get, the back door the boys get."

"Once on the bus, we check for green cards or work visas." Smootcher added and rushed the door when Murphy pushed it open. "Ohh for shit sakes Murphy," The place had over 100 people packed inside the small bar. "Can you say stampede or maybe run of the bulls."

"Ohh Hell this is gonna be very bad." Murphy said and was about to turn around and leave when Stewie pushed past her and flashed her badge.

"This is a raid, all you people who are here illegally step to the front of the room!" Her eyes grew wide when they all started chattering in their language and then ran for both entrance and exit. "OHH SHIT!" She yelled and fought to stay on her feet. "GET 'EM MURPH!"

"We're gonna die!" Murphy yelled back and tried to block the door so no one could get out.

"Dumb ass, I swear Stewie you're brain dead!" Smootcher pulled her gun, fired a shot in the air and watched as people froze in place. "All you people freeze or I shoot holes in ya and I don't wanna hear no hablo English, ya'll sure as hell understand INS!" That had people fleeing for the back door at double the speed. "That's it run for the back door ya cowards!"

****************

The Whistler brothers were having a hard time getting everyone who came out the door onto the bus, some of the people got past them but they didn't much care. The other two brothers on the bus gave up on seating people and just started knocking them out as they got on the bus; they had one hell of a pile of bodies near the door. They all knew that if they survived, they would kill their sisters.

Now a riot was breaking out on the bus and they had to resort to using tasers, they were just about to give up when Stewie and Smootcher came running towards the bus. "Ohh my Gods we got to get outta here!" Stewie screamed and pushed her way onto the bus. "Forget them and let's go!"

"Hold on there Stewie," Billy said and tried keeping one of their victims from getting off. "Where's Murph?"

"Don't care, she tried ta get us killed!"

"Liar!" Smootcher yelled. "You're the one who tried being a badass and yelled INS at the tops of her lungs."

"You shot a hole in the ceiling and told 'em to run for the back door." All the brothers were now on the bus trying to piece together what had happened inside the bar and where Murphy was. When people tried to get off the bus, one of them slammed the reinforced steel door that separated the front two seats and driver's area from the rest of the bus closed and locked it.

"It don't matter who did what, where's Murph?" Billy asked and started to get off the bus. "Her ass is mine, she almost got us all killed with her asinine idea." He walked towards the back door and used every bit of his 250lbs to force the door open and then shove people out of his way. He stopped, squinted and started shoving people out of his way to get to his sister. "What in the Sam Hell are you doing up there?" He looked up into the rafters and shook his head. "I should just leave you up there; you have no idea what kind of problems we had out back."

Murphy looked down and sighed, she had a good idea what happened out back. "I'm really sorry Billy; can you help me get down…please?" She looked to all the people pointing and screaming something at her in Spanish or Mexican, she didn't know which. "If ya don't help me, I'll fall on your big black bald head!" She was relieved when he climbed up onto the pool table and then helped her down from her perch.

"You're lucky that I like you and it's just not because I'm afraid of mama." He tossed her over his shoulder and ran for the back door, the whole way laughing his ass off because she was screaming. He got onto the bus with Murphy still over his shoulder. "Who wants her?"

"Throw her out the door, she's bad news!" Everyone yelled including some of their captives.

"Gee thanks now would ya put me down, my heads ready to explode." He dropped her into one of the seats and then dropped down beside her.

"OK genius, now what do we do with all these screaming people?"

"We go into Dulles airport and let INS take care of them, all we have to do is bring them in and they'll fax their report to the office. After that they'll direct deposit the check into the company account." She covered her ears from all the yelling and looked to Alan. "Can we get going, I'm going deaf, next thing we're doing is putting up sound proofing!"

****************

Cruising down Interstate 95 at 75 miles an hour was letting Judge make up for the time she spent lost, she really just wanted to get to a big city and disappear. She reached over, grabbed the tub of handi-wipes and found it empty. She reached into the back seat and searched around for another tub. "I know I have some so where the hell are they?" She turned around for what she thought was a spilt second; it took only that for her to go off the road and into a deep rut. The wheel yanked from her hand, the car bounced up onto the opposite side of the burn and came to a slamming halt. With this, she slammed forward, smacked her forehead on the steering wheel and snapped back into the seat. Groaning, she ran her fingers over her forehead and came away sticky with blood.

"Fuck that hurt," she immediately looked for Woobie and found her sitting in the back seat. "Please tell me that you didn't get thrown back there." She reached back, picked her up and brought her to her chest. "You didn't get hurt did you?" She ran her hands all down Woobie's bald little body and found nothing wrong. "That has got to be the stupidest thing I've done this week." She kissed Woobie's head and held her tight to her chest. "I'm so tired," she had lost track of how many hours she had been driving but she was tired and starving. "Ok, this is what we're gonna do, find someplace to eat and then either a camp site or a motel."

She pulled the car back onto the road and immediately knew something was wrong, the passenger side wobbled and thumped. "Ohhhh shit, I think we have a flat or I hope that's all it is." She got out and went from tire to tire until she found the culprit. "Fuck me sideways," she wiped at the blood running down her temple. "I can't remember how to do this, where's Murphy or one of the idiots when I need them?" It took her fifteen minutes to unpack the trunk so that she could get to the spare and the bumper jack. Once she had what she needed, she stood and stared at them as if it was the first time she had ever seen them. "How could I have forgotten what to do, it's not like it's changed in all these years; Christ I've had the same car since before I got out of college." She looked at the wreck that she drove and wondered why she had never bought a new one after the one the farmer ruined for her. "Ok Judge, you can do this, just think." She played around with the bumper jack until she got the latch in the right direction and then found the hole in the bumper. "I can do this," she wiped at her forehead with the back of her hand. "If I don't bleed to death first, I really need to clean myself up…" She looked at her dirty blood covered hands and felt her heart beat speed up. "Calm down and breath," she closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. "Wait a minute, you've not been washing your hands every five minutes or done any of your other compulsive things." She wiped at her forehead again and let out a deep breath. "Ok, just change the tire and get on your way you can wonder about what you've not been doing later."

20 minutes later, she had the tire changed and was repacking the trunk, a few minutes later she just tossed stuff in and put the rest of the stuff in the backseat. She was beyond exhausted and had a splitting headache; at that point, all she wanted was to go to sleep. "Ok Woobie lets get out of here," she crawled slowly behind the wheel and slouched in the seat. "I sure hope I put the tire on the right way, it's been years since I changed a tire." She was on the road for maybe 30 minutes when she came upon a rest area sign, pulling off the exit ramp, she continued until she came to the parking lot. Sighing at the sight of the McDonald's golden arches, she heard her stomach growl. "Here we go Woobie; I'll be right back with lots of unhealthy greasy food." When she tried to get out of her car, she felt every single muscle in her body scream out. She stumbled into the restaurant area and noticed that people were giving her horrified stares. She ignored them and went towards the bathroom, once inside, she looked in the mirror and saw why she got stares.

"Ohh my Gods," she turned the water on, grabbed a handful of paper towels and soaked them under warm water. "Surprised I still have a head left." She looked up into the mirror and gently touched the egg sized knot on her forehead and dabbed at the oozing gash in the center of it. "I need stitches or a butterfly thing," she felt sweat break out on her forehead and felt woozy. She took deep breathes and waited until she felt better before washing her face and hands. It was afterwards that she noticed the blood all down the front of her shirt and spatters on her pants.

***********

The salesperson at the counter for the small store in the rest area flinched when Judge came towards her; she looked around hoping someone would help her if there were trouble. "Do you have any butterfly bandages or something I can use as one?"

"I'm not real sure; why not just go to the hospital?" The young girl asked.

"I'm not real sure where I am or how to even find a hospital," she dabbed at her forehead again and flinched. "My car blew a tire and I ended up hitting my head when my car slid off the road." She wondered why she was telling this stranger her story. "Does it look that bad that I need to see a doctor?"

"To be honest, yeah it does."

Judge closed her eyes for a few seconds and nodded her head; she had to admit that she would feel better if she saw a doctor. "Can you give me directions to the nearest hospital or doctor?" After getting directions, she went over to where McDonalds was and got food for both herself and Woobie. She ignored the looks she was receiving and went ahead and took her time getting napkins and condiments. "Assholes act like they've never seen an injured person before," she gritted her teeth and felt her jaw bulge. "I'd like to kick all your asses." She mumbled on her way out the door, by the time she got to her car, she was livid. "Ok Woobie, I'm tired of the pricks around here, we're gonna eat and then take off for the nearest place to get some sleep. To Hell with a doctor or hospital, it'll take forever to be seen and I can't leave you in the car." In between bites of food, she kept looking in the rearview mirror. "You are sooo good looking, such a prize, women will fall all over to get away from you." She finished her meal, wiped her hands, face off, and then got out to get rid of the trash. "I need my head examined and for more than the gash and huge ass knot on my head, I should just turn around, go back home and beg for forgiveness." Her shoulders slumped and she dragged her feet back to her car, she was feeling stiffer every minute.

***************

Murphy sat behind the desk in the bail bondsman office rubbing her eyes; she had been going over the weeks reports and was clearing out the skips that she had brought in. The sound of the Fax machine interrupted her train of thought and had her getting stiffly to her feet. "About damn time, guess we buried you guys with illegals." She read over the report and let out a yell, they had turned only two people loose from the whole bunch. "That is one Hell of a paycheck, mama's gonna fall over!"

"It has got to be quite a few figures to do that," mama said and pushed Murphy in the chair out of the way. "Holy shit, what's all that money from?"

"We cleaned out one of the bars in town for Homeland." She pulled herself to the other side of the desk and propped her feet up on it. "So how's the campaign going?"

"I put in an order at the copy place for some signs, bumper stickers, flyers ya know that sort of thing. All your nieces and nephews are gonna hand out the flyers and put them on telephone poles for you and I got your sister in laws to help with putting the signs up along the roads." She took in Murphy's ragged look and the dark circles beneath her eyes. "Get your ass home, take a shower and get some sleep, you look like shit."

"But mama I have a lot of work that needs done, I have…"

"You got nothing here to do, I'm kicking your ass out of my office, now get out or else." She pointed to the door and had to pull out a tennis ball from her purse as an extra measure of persuasion. "Before I forget, you three at the tennis courts tomorrow at noon."

"But mama, I suck at tennis." She whined all the way out the door. "She just wants ta put bruises on all of us at one time," she thought of Stewie's forehead and winced. "I'll look real good with a tennis ball impression in the middle of my forehead." She shoved her hands deep into her pockets and walked with her head down. When she looked up at her surroundings, she realized that she was at Judges. "Guess I'm home." She pulled her keys from her pocket and walked up the driveway to the front door, before opening it, she looked across the street to her peeping neighbor. Giving him a quick wave, she then went into the house. She flipped the radio on as she went through the house and stopped dead in her tracks with what she heard.

"We need a change in local Government, so vote Murphy Whistler for Jefferson County Sheriff, paid for by the Whistler campaign organization."

"Sure aren't wasting any time mama, what's next, TV commercials?" She was afraid to turn the TV on and see her picture flash across the screen with a vote for me thing across her chest. "My luck it'll be the goofiest picture mama could find." She went into the kitchen, grabbed a beer and dropped down into one of the kitchen chairs. She had been putting all of Judge's mail in a plastic container and after all this time it was getting full, she wondered if she should go through it and make sure that nothing important was there. She had paid the utilities and the garbage pickup but had left all the other stuff alone. "There's got to be a lot of junk mail in there that I can toss." She really just wanted to see if there was anything of a personal nature amongst the envelopes, she wanted for feel close to judge in a way. "She's not here so what does it matter?" She started going through the mail and tossed the junk mail into the trash, the other stuff she set aside. She came across one envelope from the Governor. "Ohh shit, this has got to be important," she held it up to the light but couldn't see anything. "Open it or leave it alone?" She pulled a quarter from her pocket, flipped it three times and gave up. "Open it; I may have to make a reply to it." She started to read the letter and almost fell from her chair, she dropped it and grabbed the telephone from the wall.

"House of ill repute and old fat people." Belinda answered.

"Belinda?"

"Yep, I'm the ill one, is that you Murphy?"

"Yeah, I was calling because I have a letter here for Judge from the Governor of West Virginia. He offered her the position of circuit court judge of Jefferson County?"

"Yeah that was a while ago though, she turned it down…I think."

"She was offered the circuit court Judge spot and turned it down…is she nuts…that was dumb we all know she is but. This is dated this week, he's offered her the spot again, what am I supposed to do?"

"I have no idea, I wouldn't even know where to look for her or what to tell the Governor, she's put us all between a rock and a hard place. I wanna kick her skinny ass all over the state."

"You, me and the rest of the Whistler clan," She thought for a few seconds and grinned. "I have an idea, I'm gonna contact every newspaper I can and place an ad for Judge to contact the Governor, she'll know what it's about if she sees the ad."

"Geez Murphy, that's gonna take a lot of work to do that, you need any help?"

"If I draw up the letter will you help me send it out via internet to some newspapers?"

"Sure count me in; I would do anything to get her back here so I can hang a foot up her ass."

A fire started to burn in Murphy's gut, she had a feeling about this and got up to go to the computer to start her project. She hoped that Judge would take the Judgeship and come back home; she would sell her soul to the devil to have it come true. "Face it Murph, she has your heart and soul and you would do anything to get her back."

***************

Murphy woke from clicking under her ear; she lifted her head and flinched from the sound of the keyboard falling back onto the desktop. She looked around, saw that it was early the next morning and groaned. Blinking her eyes, she then rubbed them and hit the mouse so the monitor would come back on, she saw the last newspaper that she had placed the ad in and sighed. "That was how many before I passed out and got letters imprinted on my face?" She looked at her notes and saw that she had sent the ad to 32 newspapers. "I have to get with Belinda and let her know what I've done, I sure hope this works." She rubbed her eyes and got up from her chair to jump from a loud pounding at the front door. "Go away no ones home!" She yelled and then heard her mama yelling that she was going to kick her ass. She ran to the front door and pulled it open before her mama screamed again or broke the door down.

"What took you so…Lord almighty what happened to your face?"

"Keyboard bit me in my sleep, why are you here so early?"

"I brought some flyers over, you can hand them out when ya go places, stuck a sign in your yard to." She handed Murphy the flyers and headed for the kitchen. "You cleaned in here?"

"Yeah, I keep it clean cuz that's how Judge likes it."

"Maybe you should try that in your bedroom in my house; Lord knows it's been years since it was really cleaned." She started a pot of coffee and looked in the refrigerator for food. "Geez Murphy, from the looks of the refrigerator you would think that Judge still lived here." She pulled the freezer open and gave Murphy a glare to make her hair stand on end. "There's no damn food in this house!"

"I know, I went shopping and…it's contagious," she whimpered and dropped her head into her hands. "I bought cleaning supplies; I'm turning into a miniature Judge."

*************

Judge looked around her and then at the map she had in her hand, she had made it to the next campgrounds in record time, the problem was finding the place to pitch tents. All around her were full-sized campers and huge drivable RV's. "That's what I should have instead of my piece of shit car and my little tent; I wouldn't have to worry about finding a place to camp all the damn time." She got back into her car and looked to Woobie with a shrug of her shoulders. "Let's take one more drive around and if we can't find a spot, we'll drive to a motel or something." She shook her head when Woobie opened one eye, glanced at her and went back to sleep. "You know I would get more responses from one of those car buddy dummies, I can replace you ya know." She drove around again and found that she would be driving to the next exit, which was almost 30 miles away. This campsite being packed to the gills showed that she wasn't the only cheapskate in the area. "This just really sucks, remind me to fill the tank up and check the oil." She shivered at the thought of getting oil and gasoline on her hands and then thought of being able to take a nice hot shower in the motel gave her a small bit of calm in her own personal storm. In the past days, she had barely survived with only being able to clean up with her moist wipes. She hated the thought of even touching her hair, she knew that it would feel dirty and just thinking about it made her head itch.

"No problem, just take deep breaths and calm down, it's only another half hour at the most." She wiped at the sweat forming on her upper lip and then her heart started to race. "Come on Judge, stop being a wimp ass, this wouldn't bother Murphy in the least." She continued on her way with thoughts of Murphy floating through her head and of mama's cooking. She had never thought too much about food until she had to eat while traveling on the road. She was getting tired of fast food and her own cooking over the small Coleman stove was really close to not being fit for human consumption. "What I wouldn't give for a piece of mama's pie with ice cream on top, Hell, even with Murphy sticking her fingers in it would be good." She continued to daydream and on autopilot, she made it to the next exit and to the parking lot of a Motel 8.

******

"What do you mean ya lost the bitch," the Larry hissed at his cousin Jim through the car window. "We've been following her ever since we got out of that mess back home and now you manage to lose her!"

"Hey, this is a big place not to mention its dark as hell and packed with campers and shit, maybe she headed outta here?"

"Get in stupid shit, we'll check the next exit and if not, we're coming back here and you're gonna look again." They looked at each other and growled; they had been on the road for days following Judge and were getting close to tearing each other apart for fun.

"Yeah, well whose stupid idea was it the other day to try and steal cars from the motel on the main strip?"

"Well, who sucks as a look out guy?" He growled back between his teeth and would have slugged his cousin in the side of his head if his arm wasn't in a sling. "If you wouldn't have had your thumb up your ass, I'd have two arms and more teeth!" They drove out of the campgrounds and towards the next exit where they hoped that they could find their prey.

******

Stewie and Smootcher stared at their sister and shook their heads; she was nowhere near attractive in her present state. With her bare feet kicked up on the coffee table, head thrown back over the back of the couch and her mouth hanging open. They both shivered at the sight of drool running down from the corners of her mouth and down her chin. "She's such a prize, men and women fight to the death to be with someone like her." Smootcher said with a shiver.

"More like commit suicide so they don't have ta get near her," she looked around the living room for the video camera and then thought better of it when mama stepped into the room. "Wonder how many days she's worn those clothes…that ain't hers?"

"She maybe filthy as Hell but her house is like walking into a sterilization chamber; I think she beat Judge on killing germs." Mama D said and was just amazed at her kid. "Now if she would only take on some of Judge's other traits like taking a shower and changing her clothes more than once a week. Not to mention buy some damn food for that place, she had zilch as far as food goes in that place." She huffed and went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee; wiped out was too mild a word for the way she felt. She had spent an hour with Murphy at the grocery store and would never do that again. It was like having a two year old in the cart, except a normal kid wouldn't try to sneak Lysol, Pine-sol and any other kind of disinfectant into the cart. More than once she had slapped her hands, made her put the stuff back on the shelf, and then slapped her in the head because of the looks they were getting. She told the gawking strangers that having a mentally challenged child was exactly that, challenging. What she found funny was when the people looked between her and Murphy and mumbled something unintelligible under their breath.

"I just hope she comes around before the election, no one's gonna elect a pig for a sheriff. It would be a hell of a lot better than the crooked asshole we got now but there ain't no way she's gonna embarrass the family by being a filthy pig!" She jumped when Stewie and Smootcher snickered at her.

"Mama, ya know Ling Ling here has some medicine for your problem, ya know talking to yourself." Stewie said and grinned when Vanessa waved a fist at her.

"And the ICU has plenty of beds," Vanessa threatened. "For my three dear sisters that is." She dropped into a chair at the kitchen table and smiled when mama placed a cup of coffee in front of her. "Ok, now what is Murphy's problem that ya called me over here for?"

"Ohhhh I don't think you're the right kinda doctor to help her." Smootcher said with a wicked laugh. "She needs her head shrunk big time."

Mama gave them a raised eyebrow look and reached for the tennis ball sitting on the table, before she could extend her arm all the way out, they were gone. "I called 'cuz I need you to check my blood sugar and pressure, you know my monthly check-up."

Vanessa had forgotten all about her mama's check-up, with the way the hospital was going lately, she was lucky she remembered where she lived. "Ooohh sorry mama I forgot all about that," she took a sip of her coffee and pointed over her shoulder to the living room. "Now what's the problem with Murphy?"

Mama sat down across from her and rolled her brown eyes. "Besides being a filthy little pig, she's just pinning away for Judge. I wish that woman had at least said something or left a note before she left for parts unknown, it's killing Murphy."

"You mean to tell me that our lil Murphy hasn't been able to track her down, you know with all her know how and connections?"

"No I haven't and it's for not trying either, I think she was abducted by aliens." Murphy said close to her sister's ear. "But," she raised a finger in the air and grinned. "I posted in 30 some newspapers that she's supposed to call the Governor about being a real Judge and then," she wiggled her brows. "I'm gonna contact him and see if she called." She knew what mama was going to say and raised her hand to ward her off. "I just wanna know if she's ok," she ran her hands across her face and sighed. "I know that if she wants to come back she will and there's nothing I can do about what her decision is either way. I'm just really worried; she left with just the clothes on her back and Woobie." She got a cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter to blow across the top of the cup. "Not to mention that she's driving a piece of shit car, I swear that thing is older than mama." She winked at her sister and snickered at their mama's grumbling.

"I'm sure that if anything happens to her car, she'll either get it fixed or buy a new one." Mama said. "I can see her driving one of those new Ford Mustangs, maybe a nice metallic red." She nodded her head and sipped at her coffee. "I know one person that wouldn't be getting in that car and that's Murphy," she eyed her. "Judge would really spray you down now, with even stronger germ killers, you reek."

Murphy raised an arm, sniffed and blinked her eyes a few times afterwards. "I can take a hint," she sniffed and pouted. "My own mama saying I reek." She dragged her feet as she left the kitchen and grinned when she heard chuckles coming from the Vanessa and mama. "She knew that she had let her personal cleanliness go to the wayside but with the election preparations, the bail bondsman business and the contract with Homeland security, she was lucky she knew where she was half of the time. There was only one more month before the elections for County Sheriff started and she had a lot to do before then. She would worship at her mama's feet when it was all said and done with, the woman had more done in one week than she herself could have done in a month. No matter where she went, she saw either election signs in yards or her face starring back at her from a store window. She had caught site of two of her nephews slapping bumper stickers under windshield wiper blades and wondered how many were on her brother's car. She moved into her bedroom, grabbed clean clothes and then headed for the bathroom. On her way there, she peeked into Smootcher's room and then into Stewie's. She jumped back from the door and felt her heart slam in her chest when she caught a figure out of the corner of her eye.

"God damn but you scared me…" she peeked back around the corner and let out a loud burst of laughter. "Now this is really talking to myself." She looked closer at the life-sized cutout of her self and shook her head. "Only those two would do something like this." She headed to the bathroom and had to laugh and when an idea came to her, her eyebrow raised over her left eye as she thought. "I'll have to snoop around and see what I can find and then beg them to do it for me."

******

Judge felt a thousand times better than when she came out of the bathroom, she knew she had used a couple hundred gallons of hot water and almost half a bottle of shampoo and conditioner. With her hair towel dried and a towel around her neck, she sat on the bed and flipped through the stations on the TV. When she found a news station, she stopped and then grabbed the phone. Earlier she had found some take out menus in the nightstand and had picked an Italian restaurant; she ordered shrimp scampi, garlic bread and a salad. When her food showed up, she would run down the hallway to the Coke machine. She slipped her feet into the shoes, grabbed her wallet and slipped it back into her pocket. "Are you hungry Woobie, I got you some dog food?" She pulled a small bag of Pedigree chicken and gravy from the grocery bag and waved it at her dog. "It's your favorite; I got some jerky treats for ya to." She poured the food into Woobie's dish and watched as she stretched before she jumped down from the bed to investigate her dish. Judge watched as she sat there, stared at her dish, and then looked up at her. "Either you eat your food or starve because you're not getting any shrimp; I'm not having you breath on me with garlic breath all night long." She jumped when someone knocked on the door and then moved over to the peephole, what she saw made her snort out disbelief. She pulled the door open and looked down at the small white haired man and grinned.

"Don't say it lady," he wagged an arthritic finger at her and narrowed a rheumy eye. "I know I'm older than dirt and I'm a delivery boy, damn pension don't pay for shit and I gotta do this to pay for my medication." He shook his head and sighed. "Don't pay no attention to me, I'm old and I've had a Hell of a day and night." He held out the bags to her and the bill. "That's $7.50 for the food."

She pulled a twenty from her pocket and handed it to him. "Thanks and keep the change." After seeing a wide toothless grin blossom on his wrinkled face, she placed the bags on the small table near the door, checked to make sure she had the card key for the door and then followed the old man down the hallway to the Coke machine. She noticed that he moved slowly and limped a bit on the left side, she thought it was just horrible how the Government screwed over the elderly. "Sons of bitches should have to go on Social Security and put up with all the bullshit that the rest of the people put up with, damn health care costs have raped the elderly." She had read about the problems the elderly were going through with getting their prescriptions after the president's health care reform. Moreover, how the prescription companies were raking in the money, while people went without the drugs they needed to survive. After she got her Coke, she headed back to her room and her first real meal of the day. Her eating habits were worse now than when she was in college, she wondered how she was able to function at all on the greasy fast food.

When she had set the small table near the curtained window, she saw that Woobie had covered up her food dish with the end of the bedspread and was now sitting at her feet with a pitiful expression on her face.

"Christ all mighty," she rolled her eyes and then handed Woobie a shrimp. "Good thing I don't have kids." She ate slowly savoring the creamy sauce and buttery garlic bread. What came to mind was mama D's cooking and the laughter that rang out from the people around her table. She was regretting many things at this moment but the most was the time she could be spending with the Whistlers, one Whistler in particular. "I should just check myself in to the nearest nut ward; I have just got to be completely outta my mind to be doing all this stupid shit."

*****

Stewie and Smootcher ran down one isle and up the other to get away from Stewie's aunt, they had been loafing as par usual and she knew it. "How come we just don't quit," Smootcher asked. "It's not like we need the money and with all the skips we've been getting lately I'm lucky I get four hours of sleep." She blinked her eyes and then rubbed at them. "I've used more Visine in the last month then in my entire life!"

"I was thinking the same damn thing," she ran around the end of the shelf and right into her aunt. "We quit…as of right now we quit!" She threw her arms over her head and took a deep breath. "Damn I feel sooo much better, like tons have just melted from my shoulders." She grinned and then ran screaming from the store with her sister right behind her.

"Now what we gonna do Stewie?"

"I wanna go home and sleep until I wake up," she stopped and looked at Smootcher. "I've lost my mind haven't I?

"I think it's a family trait, don't think we were born with one." She scratched her head and shrugged her shoulders. "See what I mean?" She got into their truck and started the engine. "Think mama's gonna be mad at us?

"Doubt it, this way we'll have more time to spend with her and get the house the way she wants it." She groaned with realization. "We just went from the frying pan to the fire, slaves…we're gonna be mama's slaves."

***************

Murphy sighed with relief when she closed the final page of her resume` or what she hoped looked like one. She had spent hours scouring through old folders and such looking for the information she needed to prove to the people of Jefferson County that she was qualified for the job as Sheriff. Most people thought and knew her and her sisters as screw-ups, not many knew that they had gone to college and graduated with degrees and then went to the police academy. Degrees that they hadn't fully used in their chosen professions, not as if they needed to with it being involved in a family business. Now was the time when she hoped that it all paid off for her, she wasn't a young kid anymore by any measure and it was time to start acting like an adult. That thought scared her more than facing some of the badass skips they had brought in over the years, she knew that at her age it was long overdue. "Do I know how to act my age?" She asked herself and fell back on her bed to ponder the question. "Will people like me if I act my age…who the fuck cares, never cared what they thought before why start now?" She laced her hands behind her head and closed her eyes. "One person does come to mind…hell, she comes to mind constantly." She pictured Judge in her minds eye and felt her lips pull into a small smile, even with all that the tall woman had done to her with leaving; she could still make her smile. "I wonder what she'll think of me being the sheriff."

"Probably run screaming off into the night," Smootcher said and dropped down on the foot of her bed. "You as sheriff means packed jails and over worked lawyers and a lot of pissed off criminals and their families." She grinned and clapped her hands. "I am so gonna love it when you kick that bastard outta office and I want you to give his ugly ass daughter a few hundred parking tickets!"

Murphy laughed and rolled to her side so she could see her sister better. "Did she turn you down again?"

Smootcher rolled her eyes and shook her head; she had given up years ago with asking white women out, actually with asking any women out. "Come on Murph, you know that I would have to be absolutely insane to even think of even looking at her…" She snickered and gave her a grin. "I flipped her off and her daddy arranged to have a cop gimme about two dozen tickets yesterday."

"You gonna pay them?"

"Fuck no…the truck was in our driveway. Does the cop really think that it's gonna fly in court, I mean how stupid to ticket a vehicle for being parked in its own driveway." She got up and left but Murphy could hear her ranting still as she went down the steps to the other part of the large house.

"Only two dozen tickets, good thing she didn't moon her as well…I'd give her four dozen for that alone." She curled into a fetal position and went on daydreaming of her future and Judge, until she drifted off to sleep. When she awoke, she felt worse than when she had fallen asleep. It wasn't until she stumbled downstairs and looked at the time on TV that she saw that she had slept for almost two full days. "Ohh for Christ sakes, how come no one woke me up?" She threw her hands in the air and went into the kitchen to find someone to listen to her rant. "I sleep for two days and no one even cares…Hell, they left me here all by myself." She stomped her foot and planted her hands on her hips. "Fine, just be that way." She wandered around the kitchen until her stomach made a horrible noise. One thing in Mama's house was that there was always food, she could have a feast just from the left overs alone. She had her arms full when the back door opened and in rushed a dozen kids ranging from two-years-old to eight, that meant one thing, the basement was where all the activity was. She wondered if it was too late to run back to her bedroom and feign sleep but that went out the window when Mama tapped her on her shoulder.

"About damn time you woke up," she took in all the food containers in Murphy's arms and shook her magenta curls around her head. "That's not gonna be enough food for you, two days of no food equals a side of beef in your book." She grabbed some of the containers and shook them. "I don't even know what some of this stuff is, could be hazardous…eat this one first." She grinned and dropped the container on the table. "Seen any of the little ones around here?

"I saw them heading towards the living room, who all's downstairs?"

"The 'I hate soccer moms' team, we have more posters and such for the election, which means you can help after you eat." She took a bunch of Cokes and Pepsis with her as she headed back into the basement. "Don't take all day either and no teasing of the little ones."

"Me teasing them, that's the other two retards…geez I just called myself a retard." She dropped into a chair and started searching through the containers; she pushed some of them way to the side and mentally labeled them as hazardous materials. "Stewie can have those ones; she can eat just about anything and not get sick."

She had just tossed some containers into the microwave when she felt small hands grabbing her knee. She snuck a peek and saw sea blue eyes looking back up at her.

"Want some juice Aunch Murph," the toddler mumbled, jumped up and down and tugged on h