~ The Village ~
by Larisa
Disclaimer: Yeahyeahyeah whatever!
Sex, violence, etc...I wrote it so ya know what ta expect, Diaper Brigade GO AWAY!!
War cries pierced the hallways as Amazon Warriors ran with swords drawn towards the room where part of the army had hidden. They were being led by a tall dark warrior and her smaller blond companion. Her unmistakable war cry sent fear straight to the enemies heart, making some of them fall where they stood and beg for mercy. Her sword held none as it came down upon their necks. Her companion's sai's connected with grizzled jaws and flabby midsections as she fought her way through the fray. When they had the solders beaten in that room, the ones who survived were taken by the amazons and contained in a large room that was under guard. They could still hear the screams in other parts of the complex as the battle raged on. The Queen of the Amazons looked to her Champion. "Xe, I think we should go check on Poni and Eph. They were out numbered and may need our help."
Xena looked down in to the green eyes of her soul mate. Her ice blue eyes sparkling with battle rage. "Nothing I like better than a little fighting before breakfast. Let's go kick some more enemy ass!" Her long strides carried her down a long hallway; Gabrielle had to sprint to keep up with Xena's longer stride.
"Will you slow down! I'm not Hermes!" They rounded a corner and came upon Poni and Ephiny kicking ass, Poni had one of the solders by his arm swinging him in circles, slamming him into the others.
"This is sooo much fun!" She yelled above the guys pleading screams. "Swing your partner and dosee dough!" She sang off key.
"Poni, you need mental help!" Her lover Ephiny groaned as she dropkicked her opponent in his family jewels. "That ought ta keep ya out of the gene pool!" She yelled as he dropped to the floor groaning. Xe leaned against the wall watching the regent and her lover Poni the Amazon weapons master. A huge smile on her face she just stood there.
"Xe, we came to help. Not sight-see!" Brie growled at her lover.
"I know but I was waiting for a dance partner to show up. But Poni won't share."
"Very funny!" Brie moaned right before she launched herself off of the back of the nearest downed solder. Flipping in the air, she landed beside Eph. "Hi ya, need some help?"
"Ooohh could I, Poni just wants ta dance with them. The simple bitch! Any idea how many more are running loose around here?"
"Maybe 15 or 20, Xe and I took care of some down on the other side. Solari's has the survivors under guard in the big room east of here." They heard a loud clang of metal and Poni scream as one of the solders made contact with her shoulder piece.
"You son of a bitch! I just made that armor!" She grabbed him by his head and threw him up and over her shoulder.
"Thanks Poni." They heard Xena say. "I was getting bored without a dance partner." Xe picked the solder up by his arm and started swinging him in circles. In perfect sync, her and Poni swung their partners towards each other and let go. With a loud smack the solders slammed into each other's chests knocking them to the floor where they groaned. Looking around at all the prone bodies, Eph gave out a whistle and watched as Amazons came running with restraints to tie up their new batch of captives and haul them away.
Taking off to the next area of battle the four friends engaged the enemy. Xena did her front flips to land behind a group of solders armed with a long pole. Reaching between them, she grabbed it and jerked it out of their hands. "Play nice or I'll play shish kebob!" Now defenseless the solders looked for weapons among their downed comrades.
Eph and Brie fought side by side. Eph seemed to have a problem with knee spasms and dropped many solders that way. Brie was using her sai's like Thor's hammer on their heads afterwards. "This ought to piss of the Warlord!" Brie laughed as she dropped one more soldier.
"If not we'll raid their food supplies and leave them starving!" Eph replied as she went to help Poni.
"One, two, three! Break your partner's knee!" CRACK! "Four, five, six! Kick his dix!" Xena gave Poni a funny look.
"Dix? What the Hell is that?" Poni gave her a toothy grin.
"It rhymes don't it?" Xena just shook her head at her demented friend and continued to drop solders. When the last one fell, she gave out a loud war cry pronouncing their victory over the Warlords army.
"Let's get all these assholes to the holding room and then we'll wait for the Warlord to come to us." Dragging some by their feet and others who were able to walk they made their way to the room that Solari and the others were guarding. The number of solders numbered 40. All of them were in restraints sitting in the center of the room. Poni looked around her at her friends sitting on tables and chairs. She threw her arms in the air and yelled. "Let's party!"
They danced around the terrified solders, singing, jumping, and just plain having fun. They had found the food stash in the back and proceeded to have a huge feast. Xena and Brie relaxed at the head table stuffing pastries in their mouths and washing it down with a purple drink. Brie leaned against her lover and gazed up with her lust filled green eyes.
"Well, mighty Warrior Princess, since we have beat the Warlord and taken charge of The Bards Village, can we go have some naughty fun? Say you, me, a plastic sheet and Virgin Olive Oil?"
"Thought you'd never ask!"
While Xe and Brie were sliding around on each other the Warlord brought in reinforcements and retook the complex. Eph and Poni where being held in a room that had the walls covered in a rubber type material.
"I just love this stuff Eph!" Poni laughed as she bounced off the wall. All Eph could do was sit on the floor with her arms strapped behind her and groan to herself as she watched her lover play.
Xe and Brie came sliding across the floor on their plastic sheet to end up at the feet of the Warlord. There she stood dressed in a long white coat. "Ooohhh shit!" They both moaned as they took in the pissed off look on the tall woman's face. "I should have known you two would be behind this little uprising!" She motioned to her guards to restrain them. Xe and Brie then sat in a room next to Eph and Poni.
"We tried Xe. Next time they won't get us at the end, Brie said as she leaned against Xe's side.
The Warlord stood in the room where all her guards and solders had been held captive. "I want this mess cleaned up! Look at all the Zinger wrappers and Kool-Aid bottles! I swear I can't leave this damn place for one night with out you damn orderlies letting things get out of hand!" She said handing out huge leaf bags and brooms to the orderlies so they could start cleaning up the patient cafeteria. "Are all the patients accounted for? Cuz it only takes one to get them all riled up and free again!" She asked one of her nurses. "Yes Doctor, we have them all in straight jackets and in rubber rooms."
The Doctor stood with her hands on her hips and glared at her head nurse. "How many bedpans, rolls of tin foil, feather dusters, dinner trays and cushion covers (fake leather look) did we lose this time?"
"About half of what we had," she answered with a down cast look.
The Doctor shook her head. "At least it wasn't as bad as the last time, when they had the Braveheart reenactment. That was a bitch explaining to the board of directors that I needed more art supplies, because they painted all the bed sheets in tartan stripes and their bodies blue." She gave them all a steely glare.
"Next time hide the damn cable guide!" the Doctor said. "That's all we need is for all these damn FanFic authors to get the idea to do a Star Trek Voyager episode!"
The Village
By Larisa
The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive
