~ Xeno's Dilemma ~
by Larisa

Disclaimer: : We all know who owns them, well…with the exception of some of the ones in this, those ones are mine!

Sex and the rest of the bullshit: Although I wrote this many years ago, everything that's in any of my other stories is in here. Ifin ya ain't old enough, go the Hell away! And ifin ya'll are gonna say, "But Xena would never say that!" I've heard there's this place that's really HOT, go there!

Any complaints, E-mail Hecate3366@frontiernet.net.

Have you ever heard the story about the jerk and the bard?" Well let me tell you. Joxer the mighty, friend and pest of Xena, the warrior princess and Gabrielle, queen of the amazons, he always showed up at the most inopportune time; to put it simply his timing sucked! This is about the time he caught them...what was that? Do you hear it? It sounds like it's coming from over there. A low deep growl came from the bushes off to her left, knowing trouble was waiting there, she continued walking, but at a quicker pace. Glancing back over her shoulder, what she saw made her jaw drop and eyes bulge.

"By the gods, not again!" She takes off running for her very life. "You son of a bachai...maaaaaamaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

All she can hear is growling and snapping from behind her, and the tearing of material. For a second, she's held back by the seat of her pants until the material gives pitching her forward. Scrambling on hands and knees she looks up to see a village ahead, getting her footing, she runs to the nearest building screaming the whole way.

Xena tilts her head sideways, grabbing her chakram she moves to the door.

"Xena, what is it?" Questions Gabrielle.

"Someone's coming this way, and in a hurry."

Xena went to the door with Gabrielle right behind her; she opens it just as a body comes flying towards it. She's hit square in the chest and they're both knocked down. Hands grab at Xena clawing up her body to finally latch on to her breastplate, confused, Xena looks down the length of the body on top of her. And sees a large black wolf has hold of the booted foot belonging to the struggling creature. "Oh for the love of gods, shithead let go!" Small hands release their grip on her breastplate to be pulled down her body. Gabrielle struggles to get up from under Xena; looking out the door, she sees the problem.

"Shithead let go now!"

Two green eyes look to her. "I did let go!"

The wolf continues to drag the poor idiot across the ground by her boot, then grabs what is left of the seat of her pants and starts to hump her leg. Gabrielle goes out the door and grabs the wolf by the scruff of its neck.

"I told you to let go!" The wolf releases the material and cowers.

"Now get to the barn, Xe, what is wrong with your dog?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Xena stands in the doorway trying not to laugh. "Got me, at least it's not you this time!"

Gabrielle glares at her, then reaches down to help the poor woman at her feet up. "Come on lets get you inside, I'm sorry about Xena's wolf getting you." She glares at Xena who just gives her that lopsided grin. "His hormones are raging and someone," looking to Xena, "Won't do anything about it!" Xena follows them inside watching the sway of Gabrielle's hips with a grin on her face.

"Don't look at me; I gave up on doing men and kinky stuff! I'm as pure as the driven snow!"

Gabrielle turns and gives her a look similar to her own raised eyebrow. "Yeah right, come on lets get you cleaned up and I'll see what I can do about finding you something to wear until Xena can mend your breeches, right Xena!" Looking over her shoulder, she gives her a smile.

"Yeah yeah, ok, oh by the way, nice underwear you have there, shithead or who ever you are."

"This always happens to me, thanks to my demented aunt! Gods I hope she didn't hear me! And you shut up; I don't want to hear it!" Looking at Gabrielle. "Sorry about that, but he's a pain in my…" looking behind at her tattered breeches. "Now bare ass!"

With raised eyebrows, Gabrielle looked to her and nodded her head. "OKAY, you often talk to yourself? I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, I often end up talking to myself even though Xena is right there with me."

"Oh, I'm not talking to myself, believe me, this is just their way of making sure everyone thinks I'm nuts! I'll explain later, right now I would really like to get rid of this cold breeze in a very delicate area, if you know what I mean?" After Gabrielle got her something to wear, they returned to where Xena was talking to her mother. Xeno walked up to Cyrene and held out her hand. "Aunt Cyrene, I'm pleased to meet you, after all I have heard about you."

Cyrene turns ten different shades of red and groans, clasping hands she gives her an 'I will kill you later look.'

"Ahhh, ma, can you explain something to me?" Asks Xena.

"It's kind of complicated and aaahhh...wellllll..." Looking above her, she yells, "Arte, you'll pay for this! Xena you know your absent father, Gods I need a drink!" She waves a hand and goes out in to the bar area. "Let's all sit down and I'll try to explain things to you, but first, Xena give me all your weapons including your breast dagger!"

Gabrielle pulls her to the side. "Ok, ah what's your name anyways?"

"Don't you dare laugh, it's Xenodike, but you can call me Xeno, Xe, no, what ever. I answer to anything, another thing to thank my aunt for."

"What is going on here, and you had better tell me or I'll let shithead out of the barn!"

"Ok, ok, I'll tell you, but can we do this somewhere else? I don't really want to be around a pissed off warrior when she finds out the whole story!"

**************

Gabrielle and Xeno go into the kitchen, sitting on barstools Gabrielle pours them each a cup of port from a bottle sitting there.

"Ok, let's have it, tell me what is going on here!"

"Some years ago the goddess Artemis decided to take to the countryside looking for excitement and other pleasures, if you catch my drift. When she happened upon a nice little village, this village in fact, and came into the only inn around, where see met the inn keeper's daughter and fell in love, if you can believe that?"

"You lost me, run that by me again."

"Some years ago," Whap! "Ooowwww, what was that for? Gee Gabrielle you remind me of my family, they smack me up long side the head all the time." Mumbling to herself. "Well, you will be family soon."

Gabrielle rubs her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Lets try this again, just tell me about the inn keeper's daughter, who is she?" Then it hit her, smacking herself in the forehead she mumbles. "And I thought Xena was thick, are you telling me that Artemis is Xena's mother, father, donor, Hatcher, what!"

After slamming her cup of port and grimacing, she refills hers and Gabrielle's. "This stuff sucks! How do they drink it, my mouth is getting numb." A hand appears in her peripheral vision, covering her head she squawks. "Ok, sorry, I got side tracked, it's a goddess thing. If there is true love between two women, and one happens to be a goddess then they can conceive a child. And that child will be born with special powers, like Hercules, and Xena the warrior princess. Think of the connection, her mother is guardian of your amazons, and you are her chosen queen, with Xena as your champion! Oh geez I knew I forgot something!" Getting off her stool, she knelt down on one knee, bowing her head she spoke. "My queen, I bring you a message from regent Ephany, you and Xena are to get your ass's home, because you two are to be at her and Solari's joining." Getting back on her stool, she smiled at Gabrielle. "Gods that stuff has gone to my already numb bwain."

Gabrielle's eyes were unfocused with the pupils starting to dilate. A few minutes later after she ran the message through her fogged brain, she slurred her next words.

"Cuse me, but whyd ja just call me your qween? Looking in her cup, she drinks the last of it then refills both of their cups. "You're ...uhm...wite...hite...what eber, this stuff suckzz!"

"Qweenie, I think weez gettin drunkt." Xeno pulls down the front of her tunic showing Gabrielle her Amazon necklace. "I'm the natuns messerer."

Gabrielle squints and answers. "Huh"

"Ya knowz, I runz ever wherez passin messerers...notez...somethins..."

A loud bang comes from the dinning area of the inn along with a deep boisterous voice of Xena followed by a soprano joining in the singing of a very dirty song. Grabbing Xeno by the hand, Gabrielle drags her behind and they both stumble in to the dinning area. What they see is unbelievable; Xena and her mother are singing together and using obscene hand gestures.

"She haz titz out to here, and a tight wittle rear, when I gabs her here," Lower southern part of the body. "Her tongue licks my ear, so I takes her in the rear, when she squeals like an oinker, I done a good boinker."

Xena swaying on very unsteady legs using her mother to try to stand up, she flashes Gabrielle a ravishing smile.

"There's my wittle qweenie, ma, ain't she beau...ti...ful...?" Gabrielle's eyebrows hide in her hairline and her mouth drops open. "Xener your druk...uhm...drinkt...ya knowz?" Looking to Xeno, she sways. "Ain't shez, stopz movin, ya makin me sick."

"Ok girlz, I think it'z time for bed." Cyrene slurs. Dragging a swaying Xena with her, she heads towards the girls; Xena grabs Gabrielle by the hand and winks at her. "Come on qweenie letz go to bed, oh, guess what's, my ma's a lestian like me, ain't that nice?" Cyrene pulls Xeno up the stairs pushing her towards the room next to Xena's and Gabrielle's then heads to her own. Xena and Gabrielle make it thru their door and fall, crawling on their hands and knees they head towards the bed. Gabrielle crawls right up Xena's back and on to the bed, flopping over on to her back she takes off her top and flings it across the room where it hangs off the mirror on the dresser. Her skirt soon joins it to hang perilously from a corner. Armor hits the floor as a struggling Xena fights to get her leathers off, finally they hit the floor and she crawls on to the bed. Collapsing on top of Gabrielle, she rests her head between her bard's breasts.

*******************

Morning comes like a herd of centaurs for four very hung over women, two who are shocked to their still booted feet. Gabrielle is first to wake, for once in her lifetime it's before noon! Can I have her job, Gods, to travel with Xena and see her naked! Hades I'll walk, I'll even carry Argo! Whap!! Just had to hit myself, sorry my little fantasies sometimes get the better of me. Anyways, Gabrielle struggles to get up and then realizes that Xena is lying on top of her.

"Xena, oh big dumb warrior princess." Gabrielle lifts one eyelid and peers into one very bloodshot blue eye staring back at her. "Can I ask you a something, did we...uhm... ya know?" Her hands wave at their entwined naked bodies. Two bloodshot eyes pop open, Xena raises her head and groans, and then she notices how they are positioned in bed.

"Oh my Gods!" She puts her head back down, then jumps up out of bed grabbing her aching head.

"Xe, did we, you know, I mean not that it matters, wait a minute, yes it does, but, well I would like to know if I enjoyed it and if I was any good!"

"Of course we didn't do anything! You would know if I did and yes, and you would enjoy it, shithead thinks you're very good!"

"Should I call your mom so she can grease the door so you can get your big head out, oh one of many skills?"

"Cute qweenie, come on get dressed, and I'll go get us some tea while you go wake up what's her name, shithead?"

"Oh yeah, you're gonna love this, her names Xeno, and guess who named her? Give up huh huh do ya." Xena gave her the eyebrow. "Your other mother!" Laughing she ducked under Xe's arm and ran out the door.

Cyrene was already in the kitchen sipping herbal tea when the girls joined her, four sets of bloodshot eyes and pounding heads to go with them. "I don't need to ask, I can see how you girls feel. Have some tea it will help."

"Mom can I ask you something, does my other mother ever come around?"

"On occasion, she drops in when I need her, like right now would be good Arte, I know you can hear me, get your ass down here!"

A bright blue light appears in the corner, and there stands Artemis wearing leathers like her amazons. Walking over to Cyrene she kisses her then sits on her lap, flashing a familiar grin to Xe she replies. "It's a bitch when you can't pick your relatives, but you know I do what I can for you. You know all those scrapes you and my chosen get into, well you ever wonder how you two get out of them. Have you ever wondered why that was? And Gabrielle my chosen one," she looks to her with both pride and love showing in her eyes. "I chose you to bring peace to my daughter as well as my amazons. Oooohh Xeno, I know you are under the table," A mumbled damn was heard coming from under the table and then a thump. "How are the animals treating you, Cyrene what exactly did you have in mind with my ass?"

"Oh I have numerous ideas." Cyrene pushes Artemis off her lap and then drags her towards the stairs.

Xena reached under the table and grabbed her cousin by the back of her shirt. "Xeno, get up here will you, what exactly did my other mother mean by how are the animals treating you?"

"Wellll, you know her ahhh...silver stag, I kinda painted a big black bull's-eyes on its sides as a joke, she didn't it find too funny. So ever since then, she has had every creepy crawly to Harpy chasing me, they steal my clothes, burrow in my pack, you name it. I woke up one morning with a skunk in my bedroll and for a whole week, the amazons wouldn't let me past the border. And to make matters worse, my aunt made me the official messenger for the Amazon nation, so everyone knows that Xenodike will bring all the news. Xeno's not bad, but dike! I might as well have a sign around my neck saying parents hide your daughters!!!! The last time I had a date was over three years ago and that ended with the two of us covered in mud to help soothe the bee stings!"

Xena and Gabrielle sat there speechless; Xena turned to her bard and grinned. "I feel very lucky; she only punishes me with a bard!" Gabrielle punched her in the shoulder.

"That could go two ways oh dark thick headed warrior princess!"

Xena pulls her eyebrows together and looks at Xeno. "If Artemis is my…ah other mother, then who is yours, Athena?"

"You don't want to know." Xena raised her hand towards Xeno's head. "Ok ok, oh ma, come here a minute, please, and give Xena a heart attack."

Xena got a funny look on her face, looking at Gabrielle who just shrugged her shoulders and smiled. A shimmering pink cloud appeared; low and behold, there stood Aphrodite.

"Hi babes, what's up, need some help with your sex lives?" Glancing to Xena and Gabrielle, she shakes her head. "You two reallllly need some help in that department, here's a hint for you two. Warrior babe, loosen up! Queenie, leave the dog alone!" Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other. "Hi baby X, what can I do for you, need a date? But then dressed like that, you need more than a date. You need a nice lacy teddy!"

"Maaaa, I always look this way, my clothes keep getting shredded, the last time I had to run around a village in a burlap sack!

"What kind of women are you dating, barbarians?" Asked Dite.

"Ma, the last date I had was over three years ago, and it got ruined because of aunt Arte, not to mention everyone thinks I'm in to that bestiality stuff, so they stay clear of me. Even mom thinks I'm weird! Can't you do something about Arte's curse?"

"I'll see what I can do, well gotta cruise, I've got some serious love feasts to start. Let's see orgies in Athens," a twinkle comes to her eyes. "And my favorite kink in Argos! Later, sweet cakes."

Just before she left, she gave a little wave at Xe and Gabrielle before disappearing in a cloud of perfume. With wicked little grins on their faces, Xe and Gabrielle made eye contact. Leaning back in her chair Xe threw one leg up on the table, flipping her leather skirt up, she showed Gabrielle that she wore nothing underneath. With a smoldering expression on her angled features, she purred.

"Come conquer the little warrior Brie!"

Gabrielle's eyes bulged, her tongue slipped from between her lips. Leaving her stool, she moved towards Xe. Placing her hands on Xe's shoulders, she wrapped her legs around one of Xena's and started humping her and growling like a mad dog.

Xeno's jaw dropped, covering her eyes she mumbled "Not again! Ma get back here, now!"

Dite appeared at her side, took one look at the pair and giggled.

"Ma, you did it again, look at them, you gotta fix this before Gabrielle starts lifting her leg on the furniture!"

"Ooh that spell was supposed to go to Argos, sorry babes" With a wave of her hand Gabrielle and Xe woke up, Dite vanished with a giggle and a wiff of perfume. Leaving two very confused people to stare at each other.

"Ahhh...what are you doing?"

Following Xe's eyes down to where she was pressed tightly against her thigh, she blushed. "I have no idea?"

Trying to hide the emotions on her face as well as what was going thru her now flaming body, Xena coughed and got up from her stool, giving Gabrielle a chance to recover. She acted like it was no big deal what they had been doing.

"Gabrielle, when did you want to leave for the amazons?" Xeno asked and tried not to snicker at how uncomfortable her Queen was.

Straightening her skirt Gabrielle took a deep breath trying to calm her aroused body. "I was hoping we could leave this morning, of course after breakfast that is. If you don't mind," she looked to Xena and tilted her head to the side. "It's been a while since we've been there, can we stay awhile, you know get caught up on everything, maybe take a little vacation. That is after I do the joining and we recover from all the parties. You know how they are; they have parties to celebrate having a party."

Xena nodded her head at the babbling bard, raising her hands to fend off any more excuses. "Ok, ok we'll leave after breakfast that ought to give us plenty of time to get there."

********************

After watching Gabrielle eat everything in the kitchen, they went to start packing; Xena went to saddle Argo while Xeno and Gabrielle went to raid the kitchen for supplies.

"Yah know Argo, Brie's gonna turn you into a pack horse, I know she has enough food packed in our bags to feed an army, still not enough to feed her is it girl?" Snickering. "Gods my beautiful little bottomless pit." She dropped her forehead on Argo's shoulder and replayed what she had just said about Gabrielle in her head. A wide grin came to her lips and disappeared when she heard footsteps behind her.

After tying everything to the saddle, they headed out, stopping first at the front of the inn where Cyrene and Arte waited for them. They exchanged hugs with the older women and wave their goodbyes as they moved towards the road.

"Be careful girls and come see me soon." Waving with one hand Cyrene pulled Arte in to the house with the other one, all the trio could hear was Arte saying "AGAIN! But we just!" as the door closed behind them.

**************

They had traveled over six candle marks with Xe riding and Gabrielle and Xeno following behind trading stories back and forth. Not knowing how to get on the subject, Gabrielle just plowed ahead and asked outright.

Stuttering a little at first. "Xeno, what's it like…to be with a…woman. "I mean, I'm curious, ya know for my stories?"

Xeno looked at a very red-faced bard. "Gabrielle, I know how you feel about Xena, Hades little balls, anyone who sees the two of you together can see it! If you want to know how to get her attention, try seducing her!"

Placing her finger across her lips and tip of nose, her eyes started to twinkle as thoughts began forming in her head. A mischievous grin formed on Xeno's lips. "Tell you what, this always works!" Xeno whispered in Gabrielle's ear.

Hearing Gabrielle laugh Xena looked back over her shoulder at them then continued to sing her ditty under her breath.

"Ah well listen to my story about Gabrielle.
A cute little gal that's lookin really swell.
Perfect hair such a lovely lass.
Nice firm breasts and a tight young ass.

All of a sudden, Xeno stopped dead. "Did you hear that?" Looking around Gabrielle asked.

"What?" Glancing at the bushes they both heard a deep grow."

"Oh no, not again, run Gabrielle!!"

The bard and the messenger took off running; Gabrielle looked back over her shoulder and let out a scream of "Xeeeenaaaa!" as they both ran past her and Argo. Xena pulled her chakram and spun Argo around, expecting to see an army behind her she was shocked to see a fury little bunny running after her two brave and fearless friends. With a growl and a flip of her wrist, she let the round killing thingy go. The ferocious bunny split in two and fell to the ground. Looking around for them, she saw two sets of feet dangling from tree limbs. Being the wicked person that she is, she yelled.

"Look out it's coming your way!" She swooped down with one hand, grabbed the rabbit parts and threw them up into the tree. Screams split the silence and then cursing as two bodies lay sprawled at the base of the tree. Laughing hysterically Xena wiped tears from her eyes. Gabrielle got up from the ground brushing off her clothes of dirt and leaves; fire shot from green eyes as she stomped towards the warrior princess.

"Are you nuts? You could have given me a heart attack!" Gabrielle threw a punch at Xe, missing her shoulder but connecting solidly with her breastplate. Cradling her hand, "Gods that hurt, I think I broke it, I really have to practice punching. But not on you, oh no, no, no, where's Joxer when you need him! And see you and Joxer didn't believe me about that rabbit, oh nooo, it's the bards imagination running away with her again!" Xena couldn't hold back her laughter any longer, she doubled over with tears coming to her eyes. Gabrielle stood there huffing. "Xeno tell me this doesn't happen all the time."

"I wish I could say no, but yep, sorry!" She shrugged her shoulders and brushed dirt from her clothes.

Having calmed herself, Xena told them they would make camp over by the stream for the night. Setting up went quick with three of them doing things. Gabrielle was taking the rabbit off the spit as Xena was finishing up with Argo and Xeno was returning from washing up. After eating, they sat around the fire gazing into the flames.

"Hey Xeno, why don't you go run thru camp for me so I can get our breakfast for tomorrow morning." Xena fell backwards off the stump she had been sitting on laughing. Gabrielle threw her boot at her, while Xeno leaned over and said "Bite me!" Picking up the plates Xeno headed for the stream to wash them.

"I know you're there, you can come out now."

Cupid appeared at her side. "I see that you are still being chased by creepy critters."

"Oh shut up, it's not funny, can you do me a favor my dear brother?"

"Oh Hera's tits, now what?"

"Well you know about Xe and Gabrielle, can you maybe give them a little push, you know the raging hormone thing, ma always screws it up."

"No problem sis, I've been dying to do something for them, leave it to me."

Creeping to the edge of the trees, cupid fletched two arrows on his bow, and with a gigantic smile on his face he let them fly. A calm and cool Xena sat a few feet from Gabrielle sewing up tears in her leathers, while Gabrielle worked on one of her scrolls. At the same time they jerked, looking to each other they shrugged their shoulders and went back to what hey had been doing. Looking for her thread, Xena noticed that it had rolled up against Gabrielle thigh.

"Gabrielle could you hand me the thread there by your thigh?"

With out looking, she handed it over; their fingers touched, a tingling feeling went from fingertips to toes. Blue and green eyes connected, witnessing a shared passion so deep that their breaths caught in their chests. Xe gave Gabrielle the sweetest smile she had ever seen.

"Thank you my queen."

"You're welcome my warrior."

Xeno sat at the base of a tree grinning like a lunatic at the exchange of emotions. She whispered a thank you to her brother. Returning to camp, grabbing her bedroll she moved a good distance away from the fire. Seeing this Gabrielle questioned her actions.

"Why are you way over there, aren't you gonna freeze tonight?"

"Oh, no chance of that, you'll see in the morning, goodnight."

Rolled up in her blankets laying on her side with her back to them, she faked sleep. Putting her scrolls away, Gabrielle stretched showing off tight abs, with breasts straining at that awful green bra looking thing. "I guess I'll turn in too, it's been a long day, you know with being chased by the solstice bunny and all."

Xena listened for the deep breathing signaling that Gabrielle was asleep before she lay down behind her and gently draped her arm across a tight stomach. Breathing in the scent of lavender, she let her eyes follow up to that God-awful green thing. Thinking to her self, a grin graced her lips. "Next time she changes that top is gonna disappear." Small fingers interlaced with hers placing between firm breasts. "Well maybe just the lacing at the front, yeah, that'll work." She sighed; pressing their bodies closer together, she drifted off to sleep.

Xeno looked over her shoulder at them; punching one fist in the air, she yelled a silent 'yes!'

Morning came slapping Xena in the eyes with a bright stream of sunlight, glancing down she saw the top of a golden head nestled between her shoulder and breast, a small hand cupping the other and legs all entwined. Brushing soft golden bangs back from her eyes, Xe whispered. "Gabrielle wake up." She felt her bard stir, not fully awake, she cuddled further into soft flesh. "Your pillow needs to get up." Groaning, she opened her eyes to stare into clear blueness.

"Morning Xe." Reaching up she caressed Xe's cheek with gentle fingers before wrapping fingers into long black tresses. She pulled her down closer and placed a heart-warming kiss against her soft lips. She pulled back to see that Xena's eyes were still closed and her breathing was ragged. "Is Xeno awake yet?"

Looking over to Xeno, they saw that she was still asleep. Xena crawled over to her and pushed on her shoulder. "Xeno get up."

Xeno looked over her shoulder at them. "I think you guys had better step back a bit, no telling what is under these furs with me." She slowly moved the furs aside to reveal a fox, two weasels, a rabbit and a raccoon. She gently shooed them away, not wanting to scare them. Dumping her boots out carefully a handful of mice fell out of each one. "I told you I wouldn't get cold; I go thru this every morning." Gabrielle and Xe just stared thanking the gods they didn't have to worry about little critters.

********************

While they packed up camp Xena walked around in a state of mild arousal and mumbling to her self. "First waking up with Gabrielle cuddled up against my breast then the kiss, it should not have been a big deal, oh, but tell that to my body. Some hard hearted warrior, when all it takes is a kiss from my bard and I melt, right into a big old mushy warrior puddle. Take a deep breath and get over it, you can't have her, no way in Hades. She likes men! I like to kill men! I don't do dicks, only if they're on a woman, she does men. That's it Xena, think of gross disgusting, filthy, rancid smelling men! Send the fire from your groin to your dark side that realllly hates men. Got it, no problem!" Gabrielle walked up to Xena and leaned against her side. Her body heat seeped into her, and the scent of lavender played with her senses. With Xena's knees starting to buckle, Gabrielle grabbed her to keep her from falling to the ground.

"Xena are you all right?"

"Yeah, just a little dizzy is all, I'll be alright, is everything all packed?

"We just finished so when ever you are ready we can head out." As Gabrielle left Xena's side to join Xeno, she grabbed Xena's ass, sending her three feet in the air. Gabrielle grinned from ear to ear; winking at Xeno, she whispered. "It's working! Yes!"

***********

Half way there, Xeno stopped them. "Ah guys, I think it would be a good idea if you both rode Argo, we're getting close to the border and that's usually when weird things happen, it would be safer that way." Gabrielle turned to her with a furious look on her face, grabbing her by the arm she spun her around so that her back was to Xena.

"Xeno, I hate riding, and Argo doesn't like me, I'll walk to the border with you." Xeno winked at Gabrielle.

"Have you ever had a wild boar chase you? Believe me you don't want to, so get on the horsey and shut up Queenie!" Understanding hit Gabrielle.

"Ok, ok, I'll get on the horse."

With Gabrielle behind Xena on Argo, she had the perfect opportunity to mess with her warrior. Feigning sleep, she leaned into Xe's back as she normally did. Holding on with her arms around a leather-clad waist and moaning into Xe's hair. She moved her hands up under her breastplate to caress firm breasts, hearing an intake of breath from Xe, she mumbled, "Take me." then pushed her hips against Xe.

Xe was dying, Gabrielle was killing her a little bit at a time.

"I think I have found the answer to spontaneous combustion; it's called Gabrielle!"

****************

They came to the Amazon border, and just as they started in, Xeno stopped them. "You guys go in first and let them know that I am here, because when I do come in it's gonna be fast and they shoot first then ask questions later, and I really don't feel like dodging arrows."

"Ok, as soon as Gabrielle and I get to the guards we'll let them know, c-ya soon."

Xe and Gabrielle stood with their arms raised above their heads waiting for the guards. Within an instant amazons came from everywhere. One came forward, removing her mask; Solari walked up to Gabrielle and dropped to one knee before her.

"My queen, welcome, we will escort you to regent Ephany."

"Oh for the love of gods, get up, how many times do I have to tell you guys. I'm just Gabrielle, bard, sidekick of Xena."

Xe kicks in "Tormentor of Xena," bringing a grin from her bard.

"Yeah that too. We have the nation's messenger with us too; she's waiting at the edge of the border."

"Oh we know...," A blood-curdling scream came their way. "You had better take cover, or get run over." Gabrielle and Xe jumped behind a tree as the amazons returned to theirs. Xeno came busting thru the trees screaming the whole way as she headed towards the center of the village. Hearing the screaming, amazons came from everywhere with their weapons to stop in the center and wait. Xeno came thru the last of the trees and headed for the first Amazon she saw, she circled the woman screaming for help and looking over her shoulder at the bear right on her heels, swiping at her feet. With a swipe of her staff, the Amazon smacked the bear in the ass and sent it howling back into the woods.

Xe, Gabrielle and the rest of the escorts came thru the trees to see the end of the chase. Xeno grabbed on to her savior and slid down her body to end up with both arms around the amazon's thigh. With her face resting against the warm thigh, she gulped for air.

"Hi Eponin, whatcha got on your leg?"

Looking down at the poor gasping woman. "I have no idea my queen?" something made her look again, their eyes connected, deep brown sinking into green, as green as her queens. Spellbound neither one of them moved. Eponin smiled showing even white teeth, offering her hand she helped Xeno up. Gabrielle could see that there was definitely something going on here, wondering if it was the same as what everyone seen in her and Xena?

"Eponin, this is Xeno, the nation's messenger. Xeno, this is Eponin, my weapons master." She reached out a hand to the winded messenger. "Come on Xeno lets get you cleaned up. Poni can you get her some leathers so she can look like the Amazon she is."

"Shall I bring them to your hut?"

"Yeah, that would be good, oh Xena, that means you too."

Two of the three made it back to the hut, Xena took Argo to the stables to feed and groom. "Alright girl, now you can get a rest and I can cool off before I have to sit in a water trough somewhere. Brie has no idea what she's doing to me, or maybe she does!"

Gabrielle started a bath for Xeno, pouring bath oils in the water then setting out soaps for her to use. Entering the living area Gabrielle noticed that Xeno was looking at the scrolls filling the shelves.

"Are these all the ones you have written?"

"A lot of them yes, but some are the treaties and laws of the tribe. Come on let's get you cleaned up, give me your clothes."

"What!" Xeno barked, eyes going wide, she clasped the front of her tunic.

"Strip woman, how do you expect to take a bath if you still have your clothes on?"

"Oh yeah, right I forgot about that."

Having stripped out of what amounted to rags, Xeno stood before her queen sheepishly, and skin tinted a high pink.

"It's just been so long since I've been naked around anyone, guess I'll have to get used to it."

"Don't worry about it, now get in that bath before it gets cold."

Obeying Gabrielle, Xeno surrendered to the hot fragrant water. Gabrielle went to the chest at the end of her bed and pulled out her queen's leathers, Xena's black trousers and blue tunic. Silver designs garnished the cuffs and hem, symbols of her place in the Amazon nation as the queen's champion and protector.

She knew the minute that Xe had seen her clothes she was going to throw one Hades of a fit; without her leathers and armor she felt naked. She had just laid them out on the bed when Xeno came from her bath. Standing before Gabrielle in all her glory was and unrecognizable woman, all the dirt and grime gone, dark hair clean and flowing in long swirling curls streaked with blond.

"Ok, now what, do I get to run around the village like this."

Raising her arms out to her sides muscles rippled up her ribcage, shoulders bulged and pecs hardened, Gabrielle just stared. Thinking to herself, "These amazons are gonna fight over this one, Eponin better make her move quick." From neck to waist she was a perfect v, abs that put Gabrielle's to a shame, perfectly cut and defined. These amazons had no idea what they had been missing all these years!

Gabrielle smiled at her. "Of course not, Eponin should be here with some leathers for you." They heard someone clear their throat, turning Gabrielle saw Eponin as she moved towards her. Eponin got a clear view of Xeno, her jaw dropped open, not being able to get a single word out she just handed the leathers to Gabrielle. Glancing back over her should as she was leaving she misjudged the doorway. Slamming her head into the jam, she stumbled backwards, on wobbly legs she went outside mumbling the whole way as she rubbed her head. Laughing Gabrielle walked over to a very red Xeno.

"Come on I'll help you get dressed."

When Xeno was finished dressing, to keep her from being bored, Gabrielle gave her one of her scrolls of her and Xena's adventures to read. Then she started to run a bath for Xena. She had just come from the bath when Xena came thru the door, and seeing her tunic on the bed she rolled her eyes.

"Briiiie, do I have to wear that?" Pointing to her tunic and trousers.

"Unless you want to stand by my side naked?"

"This ain't fair! I feel so…so...,"

"Naked?" Gabrielle finished for her. "To bad, now strip, your bath is ready."

Xena looked to Xeno with a raised eyebrow. "Bossy little queen ain't she?"

Xeno just grinned at her. "Been there, can't help ya."

Gabrielle started unbuckling Xe's armor taking great care to make sure she brushed against her skin as much as possible. The once stoic warrior held her breath. Leaning up the little queen whispered in her ear. "Breathe mighty one, before you pass out." Moving to a table, Gabrielle laid out Xe's armor. "Give me those filthy leathers so I can clean them."

Xe shook her head, taking her leathers; she threw them at Gabrielle hitting her square in the chest. Knowing that if she didn't move quickly they would boomerang back at her. Sinking down into the hot water, every muscle began to relax. Dunking her head rivulets of water streamed down her face and into her eyes. Closing them, she drifted off to sleep.

Gabrielle handed Xe's leathers to one of her guards, and then whispered in her ear; smiling to herself, she stepped in to the room.

"Well that's done, now it's time to turn the heat up on a certain warrior princess then let her cook for a while." The two conspirators grinned at each other. Xeno now had a good idea of the fun her brother and ma had everyday.

Sneaking into the water, a mischievous grin crossed Gabrielle lips. Sliding her legs along Xe's, she waited for her to notice. Feeling the water rise, Xena opened one blue eye. Making contact with two creamy firm breasts, her eyes drifted up to meet flaming green eyes, her heart just about beat out of her chest. Thinking to herself. "What is happening to me? I've seen her naked thousands of times and it's never affected me like this before. Then she has never touched me like she has the last day either, maybe I was wrong about what I thought earlier with her and men. But there was Perdicus?"

Reaching for the soap, Gabrielle lathered her hands. Beginning at her neck, she worked her way down paying special attention to her breasts and keeping eye contact with her warrior the whole time. Lifting herself out of the tub, she balanced on the edge. Placing her foot on Xe's shoulder she ran soapy hands from ankle to soft blond curls, watching Xe holding her breath, she treated the other leg in the same fashion. Moving forward, she came nose to nose with Xena, thumbs caressing the sides of her neck, she licked Xe's lips. Pressing their lips together, she slid her tongue inside a warm willing mouth, but before Xe could do anything the kiss was broken.

"Breathe Xe." She whispered and got out of the tub leaving a very aroused warrior there. Grabbing her towel, she left. Xe just sat there shocked to her very toes.

"I am going to have to sit here until the water freezes." Feeling the throbbing at her center, she moaned. "Gods, she's killing me!"

Gabrielle was already dressed when Xe entered the room on somewhat shaky legs, moving to the bed she reached down to get her trousers but a small hand beat her to them. Gabrielle held them out to her so that she could step into them, placing her hands on Gabrielle's shoulders to balance herself, she stepped into them and let Gabrielle pull them up her thighs. Good thing too, with feeling her fingertips brushing over her skin, her knees just about buckled on her. The same went with her tunic; fingers grazed her from breasts to ribcage. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. Gabrielle buckled on her sword belt and hung her chakram on her side.

"Can you get your boots on, or do you want me to help?"

Stammering she answered. "Uhm...ahhh...got it, go."

Walking up to Xeno she grabbed her brush. Running it thru her dark hair she placed the traditional braids in for her, and then she smiled. "I knew I forgot something, you're all set now."

Watching Xe struggle with her boots she bit back a laugh, seeing that Xeno noticed too, she winked at her, and mouthed the words. "It's working."

Xena gave up on her boots, she sighed at her half assed lace job. Gabrielle stood in front of her, a beautiful smile on her face with green eyes twinkling.

"Ready?" All Xe could do was nod her head. Grabbing her hand, she pulled the wobbly warrior behind her.

Entering the eating area, everyone seeing their queen stood. "Now I told you guys about that, sit down and eat." Chuckling, she looked over her shoulder at a flustered warrior and smiled. Making their way to the queens table, Ephany and Solari stood so that Xe and Gabrielle could get by. Xeno moved to the other side to the only vacant seat available. At the movement Eponin glanced sideways, once again her jaw dropped and her heart pounded frantically, catching green eyes as green as her queens, she forced out "Xeno."

Sparks shot across between them, nodding her head she whispered "Eponin." She felt her body react to this dark haired woman beside her. Tingling ran thru her body and flames lashed at her center She thought it was pure lust after three years of celibacy, what else could it be?

Everyone at the table noticed, especially Solari, elbowing Eph who in turn elbowed Gabrielle. "Gabrielle, were Solari and I that bad?"

"Worse, I was wondering when she would stop crawling on all fours behind you!"

"Oh, she still does, just not in public." For that statement, she was slapped in the shoulder. "Did I ever tell you what she likes me to do to her when she's on all fours? Wellll she...." Sol's hand quickly covered her mouth, Gabrielle laughed hysterically, glancing sideways at a dumb founded Xena.

Food was brought to the table, two plates were set in front of Gabrielle, it was a well-known fact she ate enough for two people! Two pitchers of port were set in front of Xe, who not bothering to use a cup drank from the pitcher. Eph raised an eyebrow, she knew something was going on, but what, she had no idea? Her brain was spinning. "Gabrielle's happy and acting wicked. Xena hasn't said a word and has sweat running down her flushed face. And Poni and Xeno are practically falling out of their chairs leaning on each other. That could only mean one thing - Aphrodite! No, Gabrielle and Xe always had something between them maybe it's The Furies? That's got to be it, Xena's paying again!"

Xena picked up a small carrot and played with it, seeing this Gabrielle grabbed her hand, bringing it to her mouth; she rolled her tongue around it before taking it and Xena's finger into her mouth. Xena stiffened. Eph and Sol just gawked at what their queen was doing.

Eph moaned and looked to her lover. "You never do that with me, Sol!" Sol scooped up some of her mashed potatoes and smeared them on Eph's face.

"There ya go, how'd ya like it?" Sol grinned from ear to ear then stood up from the table.

"Where ya going?" asked Eph.

"To see if cook has anymore."

"Why?"

Sol wriggled her eyebrows. "I have a better place to put them later tonight."

Eph groaned. "Don't forget the gravy this time." To herself she wondered if there wasn't something in the port. Sol returned with two bowls on a tray, placing them on the table she grinned at Eph.

She couldn't stand it anymore, leaning over to Gabrielle's ear. "What is up with Xena, she's acting all wierded out, are you two fighting or what?"

Giving eph an evil grin. "Oh you could say that, actually, it's a one sided battle, Xena and her iron will, and she's losing big time!"

"Huh"

"Watch this!" Gabrielle slid her hand up the inside of Xe's thigh to rest exploring fingers at her throbbing center. Xena growled, grabbing Gabrielle's hand she stood pulling Gabrielle up with her. Throwing her queen over her shoulder, she practically ran from the room, Gabrielle waved to everyone as they left. The four women at the table gapped, Eph looked at Xeno with a quizzical glint to her eyes.

"Xeno, what was that all about?"

"Oh, let's just say I gave her some tips on ahhh...seduction."

Knowing smiles were shared, but one smile out shinned them all and that was Eponin's.

***********

Xena carried her queen over her shoulder all the way to the hut and right to the bed where she her flipped over on to the bed. Growling as she pulled her tunic over her head, throwing it across the room and all the way out the door where it ended up hanging off one of the royal guards' staffs. Both guards jumped, and then seen what it was, and left it there. One guard looked to the other.

"Jace do you think that's Xena's way of putting out a do not disturb sign?"

"I don't know Rissa, could be?" Just then, the queen's top came flying out the door to hang off the other staff. Jace and Rissa just shrugged their shoulders and continued to stand their post.

Xena covered Gabrielle's body with her own, breasts pressing against breasts, Xe gazed into green eyes full of love and passion, and softly she kissed them closed.

"Do you have any idea what you have put me thru today, my little queen?"

"No more than what I have gone thru for two seasons, you thick headed warrior."

Capturing her lips, Xe caressed closed lips with her tongue. Gaining entrance, she filled Gabrielle's mouth, their tongues dueled bringing gasps from them both. The kiss became hungry and soul searing. Hands explored with a fever. Xena rose up on knees to straddle Gabrielle's hips, teeth nipped at her neck, pulling soft flesh between her lips she sucked. Gabrielle's back arched, her nails dug into Xena's back drawing blood, moaning she turned her head to give Xe more room.
Releasing her neck, she kissed her way down to her breasts; cupping them with her hands, she ran her tongue between them. "Oh gods, Xe!" Gabrielle moaned. Trailing her tongue down to a tight stomach, she swirled her tongue around Gabrielle navel. Hips rose up against her, slipping to the floor she pulled Gabrielle right to the end. Kneeling between her thighs, she ran her tongue from knee to swollen lips. Gabrielle pushed her hips towards her and whimpered from between parted lips.
"Xe ...pleasssse!"

Running her fingers thru blond curls she spoke in a deep passion filled voice. "What do you want Gabrielle?"

"Oh Gods, touch me Xe!"

Xena ran her finger down her lover's clit feeling her juices cover her fingers. "By the gods Brie, you're so wet." Licking her fingers she was hungry for more, her tongue delved deeper bringing sobbing noises from deep in Gabrielle's throat. Xe could feel her own juices running down her thighs, and suffering with the throbbing, she continued sucking and licking Gabrielle. Tremors were coming from deep in Gabrielle. Rising up, Xe heard a strangled moan escape Gabrielle's throat but was swallowed as she kissed her deeply. Pushing her back on the bed, she straddled her thighs covering her with wetness. Groaning, Gabrielle raised her leg making full contact, Xe gasped, bracing on one hand she slid her fingers between Gabrielle's lips, looking into green eyes she asked.

"Brie?"

"I need to feel you in me!"

Carefully she inserted two fingers, feeling tightness she was surprised, now knowing that Gabrielle was still a virgin and was giving this gift to her!

"Gabrielle, this going to hurt." Gabrielle moved her center against Xe's hand.

"I trust you Xe, do it." Pushing as gently as possible, she felt the wall give. Gabrielle let out a small scream, but Xe held fast. Waiting for her muscles to relax, she kissed her gently and felt her hips start to move, her body on its own instincts ground down on Gabrielle's thigh.

Breathing became rapid and ragged; Xena holding back her own peak brought her lover to the edge and over. With an earth-shattering scream, she heard her name Xeeeenaaaa! Seconds later another scream was heard Gabrielleelllllle! Deep orgasms shook them to their souls; their screams were heard all the way to the center of the village.

************

"And here I thought our Queen was so innocent!"

Sol looked at Eph. "Yeah, I thought you were too, so there." That comment got her ear yanked, which led to Eph's nipple being pinched. The movement at the head of the table got the attention of Poni and Xeno, clearing their throats they got the other twos attention.

Blushing from being caught. "Oh, hi, we were just ah..."

Looking to Eph, Sol pleaded with her eyes for help. "Ah... Trying out Xena's pressure points!"

"Yeah, that's it, pressure points!" Sol finished.

Rubbing their ears, they replied in unison. "I don't think our ears can withstand what those pressure points will do!"

*************

The queens guards just about had heart attacks, both dropped in to fighting stances, and then they realized what the screams meant. Jace looked to Rissa who just nodded her head and left with Gabrielle's top still hanging off her staff.

The two lovers held each other; Xe ran her fingers thru sweat-dampened hair. "Gabrielle, I never thought this would ever happen, I've wanted you from the first time I saw you, I love you Gabrielle! You are my heart and soul, without you I am nothing."

"I love you too, Xe! I've always wanted this, from the very beginning, without you, half of me is missing."

The lovers drifted off to Morpheous still entwined in loves embrace, never knowing that cupid and Dite were standing in the room.

"Nice one Cupie, I've been trying for years to get them to this point in their destiny."

"It was nothing ma, I just switched the arrows around a little, lust works wonders on a little queen!" They left in a flash leaving the two lovers to sleep.

*********

After Xe and Gabrielle left, the whole eating area burst into laughter, knowing that their little queen had finally conquered the mighty warrior princess. Some hearts were shattered while others were over joyed. Since the two of them would be busy for a while, Ephany started the bonfire to officially start the party. Only a few women were left at the tables, Xeno was one of them, with her two friends gone she didn't know what to do, so she sat and nursed her cup of port. Brown eyes watched her from the door, taking in the flexing of muscles across shoulders and back, hair falling in soft twisting spirals, brushing across tanned skin with every movement. Eponin felt a fire surround her hard warrior heart, softening it with every breath filling her lungs. On silent feet she approached, reaching out she brushed fingertips down warm silky skin, feeling muscles twitch under her hand a sigh escaped her lips. Xeno turned her head at the sound; she smiled up into melting brown eyes, taking the hand resting on her shoulder she stood. Eponin caressed her body with her eyes, from high cheekbones and strong jaw to wide muscular shoulders and deep chest all the way down to finely defined legs. Fire and passion filled her eyes over whelming Xeno's senses. A low timbered voice reached her ears. "Dance with me." All Xeno could manage was a nod of her head. They reached the center of the village; walking amongst the other women, they caught as much attention as Gabrielle and Xena.

Amazons were everywhere both standing and prone, or should I say passed out, mead, port and ale ran freely as well as some of the amazons. The beat of the drums slowed to a sensual rhythm bringing women close together, two women stood out amongst the rest, their bodies moved as one. Gliding across the ground, eyes stared into each other, seeing deep into a shared soul. Oblivious to everything around them, all that mattered was each other.

Eph and Sol watched them with interest; Sol leaned into Eph, whispering in her ear she asked. "What has gotten into Poni, she's usually the wildest one at our parties?"

"I think she lost her heart this afternoon to the nation's messenger. Did you notice at supper that she missed her mouth more than once while eating? I think we have more than one warrior heart conquered here, and neither one of them knows it, yet"

Poni closed the distance between their lips, hesitant a first until she felt Xeno's tongue caress her top lip, tongues met dueling. Wrapping brown locks in her fingers, she pulled Poni to her deepening to a soul-scorching kiss. Tongues slid against each other and moans released in to each other's mouths. Time froze for them, a fire ripped thru their bodies, knees grew weak, and breathing became labored and needing air they came apart. Two flushed faces stared at each other, in unison they said, "Thank you Dite." Caressing Xeno's cheek she asked, "Stay with me tonight."

"Are you sure, I mean, these things have always gone bad for me before there even started, plus it's been a long time."

"Yes, and tonight all that changes!"

Sol watched them leave. "Two more down," Running her hand up Eph's thigh. "Wanna make it a six?"

"Think we can keep up with the other four?"

"Don't know Eph, let's go see?"

They went towards their hut, which stood, on the right side of the queens; on the left was Eponin's. They came upon the queens guards who were sitting on a bench a ways from their normal post in front of the queen's door. When they saw their regent approach, they stood up. Eph's eyebrows were drawn down in the middle, noticing Xena's blue tunic and Gabrielle's top hanging from their staffs. "What's this?" pointing to the clothes.

Yelling at the tops of their lungs, they answered. "They flew out the door and this is where they landed." She looked at them strangely; turning one of their heads, she pulled the cotton from her ear.

"Is there a problem with your ears?"

"Ah... no Ephany, but believe me we have both prayed to the goddess for that this night! Reaching in her pouch, she handed her some cotton. "You're gonna need this, our queen has one Hades of a set of lungs on her!"

They started to giggle. "Oh just wait - Poni and Xeno just went to her hut didn't they?"

They looked at each other then groaned, "For the love of Dite!" The one guard moaned, reaching in her pouch she handed her partner some more cotton. "Did something get put in the food tonight or what?" Just then, they heard the drums drowned out by Xena's war cry. The guards covered their ears, as Eph and Sol laughed hysterically, trying to keep from falling down they held on to each other as they made their way to their hut.

**************

Eponin and Xeno stood in the center of her hut, she ran her hands down Xeno's shoulders and across tight biceps grazing erect nipples with the tips of her thumbs, with shaky hands she undid the laces on the front of the rust colored leather top. Sliding it down Xeno's shoulders, she let it drop to the floor. Sucking in air, she gasped. "By the gods you're beautiful!" Her hands touched collarbones moving down hard pecs, she watched the muscles dance under the candle light. Xeno's head was tilted back; she could feel every fiber of her body sing out. Eponin's hands continued their exploration down her stomach. She felt her skirt drop and fiery hands glide down over her hips to her thighs and back up to claim her breasts. Opening eyes full of passion, she reached for the ties of Eponin's top, and copying her motions, she slowly undressed her, becoming more aroused with every touch of skin she felt. Pulling Eponin against her hard body, she captured her lips, kissing her deeply tasting the sweetness of this hard warrior caused her head to reel.

Eph and Sol sat on their bed still giggling about the war cry, when the air was split with the word uuuuunnccoooo!!!!!

"Who the hell is unco?" Asked Sol.

"Got me, I have no idea, I hope for our queens sake its Xena!"

"I think its bet time Eph, how long do you think they'll stay in there?"

"I give it two moons, for a new staff."

"I say three moons for your new boots, Ephy!"

Thinking, she agreed on the bet. "Same deal on the other two?"

"Poni and Xeno, ah...yeah ok." Answered Sol.

Sol reached over and brought out the dishes she had gotten from the cook, Eph just grinned. "I forgot about that stuff, you gonna share?"

"Nope, all for me." Sol grinned and continued to eat the potatoes and gravy. Eph glared at her, reaching for the spoon Sol pulled it out of her reach. Eph gave up, crossed her arms over her chest, and just sat there, fire shooting from her brown eyes. Sol filled the spoon, offering it to Eph who continued to glare at her. Putting potatoes on her fingers, she smeared them all over Eph's lips. Leaning over she licked her lips clean, deepening the kiss Eph brought Sol across her lap, the potatoes forgotten as their bodies hungered for something else.

Xeno picked Poni up and carried her to the bed; tenderly, she laid her down then stretched out beside her. Brushing her fingertips across tight muscles and firm breasts, thinking to herself. "Never has she been with such a beautiful woman!" Fingers brushed dark curls, dragging her fingertips back up across Poni's tight stomach she watched muscles jump. A sharp intake of air came from between her lips. Flipping Xeno on her back Poni took control, pinning her hands behind her head she kissed her deeply. Twinning their tongues, moans escaped them, pulses raced faster than ever before. The two lovers rolled and thrashed on the bed until it could take no more and crashed to the floor. They never even noticed! Coming to a silent agreement, they twinned legs. Grinding against each other, their bodies stuck together from sweat. Teeth nipped and nails scratched, drawing bloody welts across back and shoulders. Release was close for them both, with one last thrust, they both came, shattering the silence with screams.

The guards dropped into their fighting stance once again. "What the hell was that, Jace?" Growling and grunting could be heard coming from the hut. Yelling to be heard because of all the cotton in their ears, she said, "Don't know but I hope what ever it is, they keep it in there with them!"

"Hey Rissa, give me some more cotton, how much more of this do we have to listen to before we're relieved?"

Rissa looked to the sky. "Ohhh...only about four more candle marks, remember we lost the draw, we've got until breakfast!"

Jace groaned. "I'll be dead before then!"

More screams were heard from the queen's hut, and then Gabrielle and Xe slept. Sated, Gabrielle laid on top of Xe her head tucked against her neck, and her legs stretched out between Xe's. Two sets of arms were wrapped around each other hugging tightly.

*****************

Eph found out what was in the other bowl that Sol had. She lay on her back with Sol dripping raspberry topping over her breasts, twitching at the coldness that hardened her nipples. Sol started licking the sweetness from her body, taking a very long time to make sure she got it all. Eph kept arching her back every time she felt her lovers tongue; lacing her fingers into dark hair, she pulled Sol's head closer to her breasts. Sliding their legs between each others they moved slowly at first, Sol released Eph's nipple to lick and suck on her soft neck. Using her fingers, she smeared raspberry stuff on her pulse point. Greedy lips sucked, moans escaped parted lips, her hips began to move harder, pressing herself against her lover's thigh, smearing wetness.

Sol shuddered, bearing down she thrust her hips. Pulling Eph to a sitting position, and they ground against each other. Moans were muffled by a deep kiss, reaching the brink together, falling off they screamed each other's names.

Jace and Rissa gave up on the fighting stance anymore that night; they had moved the bench in front of the queen's door. With Rissa's head in her lap, Jace with one of her arms draped over Rissa's legs laid sideways with her head resting on her hip, her hand was resting between Rissa's thighs.

Morning came with two royal guards still lying on the bench blocking the queens door, staffs crossed closing off the doorway. Xe and Gabrielle stepped to the door and glanced down at the guards. Gabrielle just smiled instead of being upset that her guards were sleeping at their post. They ducked under the staffs, surprised when Poni, Xeno, Sol and Eph joined them. Taking a closer look, Xe noticed that Jace had wrapped her blue tunic around her head as Rissa had done the same with Gabrielle's top. "I wondered what happened to those?" Rissa felt eyes staring at her, opening one eye; she saw two sets of legs. Scanning up, she caught blue and green eyes laughing at her. Scurrying to get loose from Jace, she fell to the ground landing on all fours. Jace's head hit the hard bench, stirring her from sleep. Realizing their predicament, they jumped to attention in front of their superiors. Stammering for excuses, Gabrielle raised her hand. "Don't worry about it, we understand, go get some sleep you two."

Xe couldn't let it go that easily. "Nice hat girls." Reaching their hands up they caught on to her meaning, blushing right to their toes, they removed the discarded clothing. Noting all the cotton stuck in their ears, six women burst out laughing and walked away.

"Come on Rissa, it's time for bed!" Grabbing the other woman's hand, she headed for her hut. "But my hut is on the other side of the village!" Jace grinned at her. "Not today it isn't."

****************

As they walked thru the village, they saw nothing but sleeping amazons. Some half clothed others completely naked. Once inside the mess hall the few that were there pointed and started laughing. Xe gave them her death look, which had no effect on them. They finally looked at each other's appearance and figured out what caused the laughing. The worst of the six were Eph and Sol, raspberry topping still covered parts of their bodies; potatoes were smashed all over their leathers and stuck in their hair. Eph slapped Sol in the shoulder.

"Remember when I asked you where the potatoes were, and you said they were in a safe place. Is this safe?" Spreading her arms out to show potatoes everywhere.

"Uhhmm...yeah, their safely smashed all over," ticking off on her fingers. "Us, the bed, floor, blankets and the ceiling." Finished she grinned at her lover.

"Ceiling, how in the Hades did you guys get potatoes on the ceiling?" asked Xe.

Blushing, the two lovers looked to each other for an answer Eph finally spoke up. "We're messy eaters?"

Xe rolled her eyes. "Maybe you guys should stick to say, chicken legs or something?"

"Wellll... let me tell you what Eph likes me to do with...." Eph covered her mouth stopping Sol from disclosing their sexual habits. Four mouths hung open, Xe was the first to recover, and looking to Gabrielle, she said.

"They're all yours Queenie!"

Pulling Sol to the side, Gabrielle whispered. "Tell me some more about chicken legs." Xe groaned.

"Don't worry Xe." Poni said. "With her appetite the chicken will be gone before she can do anything with it."

"That's what's got me worried!"

Xe noticed the scratches and bite marks all over Poni and Xeno. "Well that explains all the animal noises coming from your hut last night, one of Xeno's little friends give you guys a visit?"

"Ahhh...no, actually."

"Never mind, I got it, that long huh."

"We could say the same about you and Gabrielle!" Xeno traced scratch marks across Xe's back that her shift didn't cover. "And from the look of Gabrielle's neck, I'd say maybe a leather collar is needed?"

Xe looked pensive. "Not a bad idea, with a matching leash." chuckling. "Thanks for the idea Xeno."

*****************

Six very relaxed women sat around the head table, laughing at the shape of their sisters this morning, knowing all the screams from their huts last night had started a lot of relationships. And wondering if the centaurs could hear them as well all the way to the outskirts of the border. Oh, they had been heard all right but not by whom they thought. There was one pissed off god of war, nosey bastard, two ecstatic goddesses and a proud Cupid, slapping himself on the back, wings, somewhere.

The three of them sat nearby, unbeknownst to the women. "Well Arte, it certainly looks like your chosen has brought peace to your daughter; could have fooled me with all that screaming last night."

"Now look here Dite, she did you a good turn, they started their own little love feast last night, but your gonna get the credit for it."

"Yeah ma, and I'm the one who did it!"

"Chill babes, just think we got one up on Ares, he's so pissed about losing Xena's attentions that he got drunk and ended up in a gay bar on accident! Gag me but Ares is in a teddy and fishnet stockings!"

Cupid started to giggle. "My uncle the god of war slash drag queen!"

*****************

It took two days to get the village cleaned up, not to mention a certain hut needed its ceiling scraped. Preparations started for the joining later that day and knowing the amazons it would take another two days to clean up afterwards. Gabrielle went thru all the scrolls so as to be sure of the protocol to keep with the ancient traditions.

Thinking of the first time she met her regent and captain of the royal guard her heart warmed. Her first encounter with Ephany, such a hard woman, stoned faced, cold towards her, and now such a warm compassionate woman. And Eponin, fierce and brutal to spar with had turned into Xeno's protective lover. What love can do to people, who would have thought that the conqueror of nations was a wimp when it came to a little Amazon queen! So caught up in her thinking she didn't hear her lover approach, Xena wrapped her arms around Gabrielle's chest pulling her back into soft leather, kissing the top of her golden head she asked.

"Are you ready for the joining?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

With the whole nation present, their queen stood upon the platform with Xena standing behind her right hand shoulder, Eponin behind her left and Xeno stood below to her left. Gabrielle asked those to be joined to present themselves before her. Ephany and Solari came to stand before her.

"In the name of Artemis, guardian of the amazons, I her chosen Gabrielle, Queen of the Amazons, will join these two women as life mates. Is there anyone present to deny this joining?"

"Yes!"

Amazons gasped and spun around to see who would deny this joining. They split down the middle, dropped to their knees and bowed their heads as Artemis walked forward. Ephany and Solari kneeled and dropped their heads; Artemis touched their shoulders and asked them to rise. Approaching her chosen, she hugged her and smiled to her daughter.

"We seem to have some women missing from this joining, am I right?"

Confused, everyone looked around. "I'm going to put this joining on hold for a moment." Raising her hand to Eph and Sol really confused now.

"Sweetheart, will you come up here?" From the back of the crowd, Cyrene walked forward, Xena's eyes about fell out of her head. With Cyrene at the bottom of the platform, Artemis stepped to Xena. "Xena, I should have done this along time ago, I love your mother and I'm asking you for her hand in joining." Xena tilted her head back giving Artemis the 'look,' turning to her mother, she saw the smile on her face, she need not ask. Taking Artemis's hand, they left the platform to join Cyrene. Joining their two hands, she stepped back and nodded to Gabrielle.

"I know no one is going to deny this joining, unless they want to suffer at the hands of Xena." Eyes traveled to the grinning warrior. "I'm going to skip all the unimportant stuff here since Artemis knows it better than us." Gabrielle pulled a braided leather strap that was tucked inside her belt, stepping down. "Keeping with the ancient tradition, each has give to the other something of theirs that they cherish the most."

"It's covered Gabrielle." In a blue cloud appeared Cupid, handing his aunt a small leather covered box, he then floated to Xeno to stand by her side. "Nice catch you got there sis, you gonna keep her?"

"Forever." She replied with a heart-filled smile.

Arte took out a silver ring with a half moon on it out of the box, placing it on Cyrene's finger; she then placed the twin on her own. Tears ran down Cyrene's cheeks and her eyes went up to Gabrielle.. Gabrielle bound their hands with the braided leather. "In the name of Artemis, I joined these two women as life mates, you may kiss." Cheers went up everywhere; Xena hugged her mothers and mumbled to Artemis.

"You had better make her happy, mom!" This was not missed by Eph and Sol. "I'll explain later guys." Xena walked back to Gabrielle, Xe's mothers soon joined them.

"Since I am here I will do the joining, but first, there are some things that need to be done. Dite, get your ass down here!"

In a pink cloud and heavy perfume, Dite appeared to stand next to Arte. "I was just about to catch this awesome wave and you ruined it!" Looking around her. "Oh, I guess we're ready, bummer. Ok babes lets do it."

"There are still some women missing from here, aren't there Dite?" Nudging her.

"Hey, you're wrinkling my lace. Ohhh baby X, grab your woman and get down there and make your mama proud!"

Eponin had a shocked look on her face when Xeno stepped in front of her. "Yep, that's my ma, hard to believe ain't it?" They now stood next to Eph and Sol. "It's not over yet guys!" She grinned at them. Xena seen the look on Arte's face, trying to hide didn't work.

"Ah mom, can I do this my way a least?" Arte nodded to her. Kneeling at Brie's feet holding small hands in her own she looked into the most beautiful green eyes. "Gabrielle, I have always loved you, you are my heart and soul, I can not live with out you, will you marry me?"

Tears filled Gabrielle's eyes; raising Xe, she placed a kiss on her hands. "You are all that I have ever wanted, I love you with all my heart, yes I'll marry you!"

Six women stood before Arte, with a wave of her hand six silver rings with half moons appeared on their fingers.

"In my name you all are joined as life and soul mates!"

"Let the sex games begin, babes!" kicked in Dite.

Cupid floated over the crowd with a huge basket in his hands throwing out huge wads of cotton to every one. The six newly joined women knew the reason for this. Xeno stood holding Eponin and said, "Poni, I didn't even get to ask you if you would marry me."

"You didn't have to; we were already married in our hearts. I love you Xeno."

She pulled her to her body and hugged her tightly. "I love you too Poni!"

The newlyweds kissed long and deep, infernos blazed deep inside of their bodies; they broke the kissing for lack of air. "We better make an appearance at the party, and then later we can slip away and find something fun to do."

With goddesses and amazons, partying together nothing could match it! Dite had women all around her on the dance floor vying for her attention, she was well known as the party girl on Olympus, Athens, Argos etc...etc...etc… Now her sister Artemis was quite the opposite, and that's why she approached her niece and new wife. Hugging them both, she looked deep into Xeno's eyes.

"You have finally broken my curse; no more will creepy crawlies chasing you." Xeno gave her a confused look. "I wasn't mad that you painted bull eyes on my stag, it was an excuse to try and get you to come into this village. I was hoping that you would run here for protection and Eponin would do exactly as she did. I didn't want you to be like me and wait so long to be with your soul mate. Be happy and love each other." She caressed their cheeks then joined Cyrene.

Cupid pirouetted to each of the newly weds and handed them a small scroll. On the top it read.

Fantasia a la Jace

Athens newest resort tailoring to your deepest fantasies!

1 week paid in full for the newly joined

Xena Warrior Princess and Gabrielle Queen of the Amazons

Yours truly,

Jace {Joxer's older brother}

"Xe, can we go, I mean, it would be nice, no wars, battles, gods, slave traders, or warlords." Giving Xena her puppy dog look, she new she could not deny her this.

"Anything you want sweetheart."

Brie kissed her with such passion that her knees started to buckle, and then she dragged her stumbling warrior to their hut. Once inside, they stood in the middle of the room and slowly undressed each other, exploring each other's bodies with hands, lips and tongues. Soft moaning noises came from their shared arousals. Xe kissed Brie's breasts one at a time, licking her nipples bringing them to hard little nubs, teasing each one with her teeth. Sliding her tongue down her tight rippling stomach to her soft blond curls, Brie arched her back pushing her mound against Xe's lips; slowly, she brought her tongue thru swollen lips tasting her lover's sweet nectar. Brie gasped. "Oh gods, yes Xe yes!" Each lick of her tongue brought her lover closer to the edge. Xe felt her own juices run down the insides of her thighs. Capturing Brie's swollen nub between her lips, she suck and licked. "Oh sweet Dite, harder Xe!" Stomach muscles tightened her head thrown back, she leaned her knees against Xe's shoulders for support; she thrust her hips on last time caring her over the edge. "Oh gods..., Riiiiiiissaaaaaa!"

Xena froze; Brie brought her head down to stare in to ice-cold warlord eyes. Shock covered her face.

"Now Xe…I did not..." She panted and sputtered out her words.

"Yes...yes...yes...Riiiiiiissaaaaa!"

Xe jumped up and ran to the window at the back of their hut, beckoning Brie to follow. Outside the window laid Jace with Rissa quite enjoying herself between her lover's thighs. Jace's back arched once more, her hands twined in Rissa's hair moaning, tears ran down her cheeks. Xe grabbed one of Bries's scrolls and quill and started to write.

"Xe, what are you doing taking notes?"

Xe gave her that lopsided grin that she loved so much. Rejoining her lover at the window just as Jace thrust her hips once more in the air, splitting the silence with a war cry.

Xe started clapping and whistling, Brie stunned just looked at her. Jace and Rissa looked in the window at their audience and turned ten shades of red. Xe held out the scroll to them, on it was a big number 10.

Xe grinned at them and winked. "Let the sex Olympics begin, girls!" Moving from the window, she smacked Brie on her ass as she passed. Taking one of their blankets, she tossed it out the window to the lovers.

"You know Xe; sometimes your sense of humor scares me!"

"Well you should really be scared now, because I have another blank scroll!"

Launching herself into her lover's arms, Brie nibbled on her chin. "I hope your a good swimmer because you are going to be swimming in the ocean of Brie!" Xe showed her excitement over her lover's arrousal by giving her a deep throaty growl.

"Get your score card ready, little queen!"

The battle of the score cards continued until the early morning hours, names, screams and battle cries were heard all over the village. Shara was prepared; she had made more than enough of her special elixir for sore throats; a healer's work is never done.

Morning came and went, very few women were seen about the village, only the little ones were up having the time of their young lives, grouping together they decided they would start cleaning up the village. Once done they sat and admired their handy work. One little girls' smile was the brightest of them all; her aunt Poni was going to be mad as Hades! Seeing elders venturing out into the daylight the young ones took off to the trees. Snickering could be heard all over the mess hall along with a terrible snoring. But not wanting to disturb the sleeping woman they let her sleep.

Xena was still in her playful mood and had as usual woke before Brie, she was dressed and searching thru one of her trunks, finding what she needed she walked over to the bed, yanking the blankets off a still sleeping queen she bent over and bit her on her ass. Brie came three feet out of the halfway collapsed bed. "Hades tiny balls. Xe, one of these days you are gonna pay!" She growled, rubbing her ass, she drew down her eyebrows so that her nose wrinkled. Surveying the room, she grinned at the G and X letters scribbled on the wall over the headboard with all the little hash marks below each letter. Then at her hands stained black with ink. Pulling on a shift, she glanced at the inkbottle on the table by the bed and grinned. "Xe, I'm hungry!"

"That does not surprise me Queenie!"

Brie moved in front of her lover, grabbing Xe's ass with both hands she squeezed. "You're gonna take me to the mess hall and feed me, then, were gonna come back here and you're gonna feed me again."

Xe reached down and fondled Brie between her thighs. "Is that so, well come on lets go, cuz your gonna need the strength."

They kissed passionately before leaving the hut that's when Brie seen that Xe was holding something in her hand. "Xe, what's that ya got there?"

"Oh nothin, it's for Xeno and Poni, ya know a joining present, lets go wake up Eph and Sol."

Talk about shocking, as they entered Eph and Sol's hut Brie had to cover her mouth to stifle her laughing, Xe's eyebrows buried themselves in her hairline. Clothes hung from everywhere and the bed sheets were dragged across the floor along with the blankets. Xe approached the entangled bodies, biting down hard on her lip to keep from laughing. She touched Sol on her shoulder, leaning over, she whispered in her ear. "Wakey wakey little chicky, Queenie requests your presence at breakfast, as is!"

Pushing on Eph, Sol winched. "I feel like a centaur stomped on me, Eph, come on time to get up."

Xe grabbed a shift of the ceiling beam and handed it to Brie, as she walked past to get the other shift she mumbled just loud enough for her to hear. "More like a big chicken stomped on both of them!"

They helped both of the still half-awake amazons into their shifts then pulled them out of their huts and headed to Poni and Xeno's hut. Going in, Brie was worrying her bottom lip to death trying not to laugh. On stealth toes, Xe placed the gift between the two women then retraced her steps to the door. Taking a deep breath, she screamed. "Oh my gods Xeno, look out!!!!" Two bodies sat straight up in the bed and seen a huge skunk lying between them. Xeno screamed and fell out of the collapsed bed, crawling on her hands and knees towards the other women standing there. Poni lying on the other side chanced a look over the edge of the bed at the skunk. In one swift movement, she grabbed the skunk and was charging at Xe, who took off out the door at a sprint with Poni chasing behind her swinging the stuffed skunk.

Xeno still on her knees looked up at the others with an ear-to-ear grin, getting to her feet she went out the door to follow Xena and her chasing wife.

Brie sighed. "Well girls I guess she took that rather well, don't you?" Not being able to hold it in any longer, she broke up in to hysterics.

Poni was chasing Xe around the mess hall yelling things that she wanted to do to the warrior princess with a certain stuffed skunk as the other three walked in to the room. Everyone who was there stood up and started clapping and yelling. Eph looked to Brie with a confused look on her face.

"What are they doing?"

"Applauding you and your little chicky baby here, I suppose you two just won best costume!" She said laughing.

"Huh?" Then it hit her, then she hit Sol. "We did it again, didn't we?" The two of them stood there covered in feathers of every color. "You and that damn honey Sol, I asked you if we shouldn't wash it off, Oooohhh but noooo. Eph does her impersonation of her wife. "We can do that tomorrow, don't worry about it."

"Yeah, but who started the pillow fight? Sol grins at her. "Mama Hen, huh, huh?"

They continued to bicker back and forth, just like a couple of chickens.

"Kind of fits them doesn't it, Xeno?"

"Sure doe's Brie, but I was wondering about something?

"What's that?"

"Ah what's your costume suppose to be?" Pulling on the bottom of Brie's shift to show a huge black hand print in her groin area.

"Xeeeenaaaa!!!!!!!!"

At the sound of her name, she stopped in mid stride to have Poni run right in to her back still holding the skunk. She grinned a toothy smile when she seen Brie holding out her shift.

"Hi honey, surprise!"

Brie stuck out her tongue at her.

"Haaa, yours is worse!" She held out her ink stained hands in front of her, making little goosing motions with her fingers. Xe pulled the back of her shift around to see little black hand prints on her ass.

"Ok, ya got me, truce?"

Everyone heard Xeno groan. "Ohhh noooo!" Following her eyes, they looked to the queens table to see the still sleeping woman. There laid Aphrodite, dressed in Amazon leathers except for her little pink slipper thingies, her hair in braids with feathers sticking out all over the place and some amazons mask covering her face. Xeno got closer to her mom as the other five stood back. Lifting the mask, she jumped at what she saw. Dite's face was painted black and white in zebra stripes. Everyone gnawed on their bottom lips.

"Oohh mommy, time to get up!" Dite smiled and said. "Ride me, girlfriend!"

"Maaa!"

Dite sat straight up clutching the left side of her chest, looking down she groaned. "I knew I wasn't dreaming about munchkins, bummer! Those little brats did this!"

Xeno held a pot lid for Dite to look into. "That's it!"

Poni turned as she heard her name called from the doorway where one of the guards stood. "Poni, I think you and Gabrielle had better come and see this."

They all stood in the center of the village. The trees had clothes hanging from every branch, obviously from the sexual forays last night. Xeno tapped her wife on the shoulder and pointed to the Amazon banner poles. Poni's face went blood red. Hanging from the poles was her leather top and on the other one was Dite's pink bra and her see through thingy flying in the breeze.

"Munchkins! We've been terrorized by munchkins!" Grumbled Poni.

"I'll fix them and good," giggled Dite. With a flip of her wrist, ten munchkins fell from the trees naked, except for the zebra stripping covering their bodies.

"There, now we're even." Then Dite vanished in her pink cloud along with her pink bra and see through thingy.

***************

Days later, the six of them walked thru the door of Jayce's in Athens.

"Geez, talk about gaudy, look at this place, it should be called A La Queen!" Xena shook her head at the sights before her. Everything was red and gold fem things, including the little g-stings the men wore, and I use that term lightly. As one of the g-stringed persons walked up to them, Poni looked over Brie's shoulder.

"Queenie, I think the only real men here are us!"

Lisping, {when have you ever heard a woman lisp?} one of them approached.

"Can I help you ahhh...ladies?"

Brie raised an eyebrow at him. "We're here to see Jayce, is he in?"

More irritating lisping. "I'm sorry she's not in but Sal will see you, please follow me!" Then he did the other irritating thing and sashes away.

Sol pushed to the front of them, putting one hand on her hip and doing that limp wrist thing she lisped. "Follow me ladies, hiss hiss!" And sashed away.

Shaking her head Xeno looked to Eph. "She ain't right"

"Oh believe me I know, the scary thing is she gets worse!"

Groans were heard from the rest of them. They were led to an office in the back, stepping through the door, there behind a huge pink desk sat Salmoneous.

"Xena, Gabrielle and Amazons, come in, welcome to Jayce's."

"Salmoneous, you still make an ugly woman!"

"Now Xena, I only wear this gods awful stuff when I'm here." As he flipped a pink boa. "And believe me, I walk with my back to the wall. Anyway, Alphonzo will escort you guys to your rooms. And congrats on all your joining's, see you all later."

As Alphonzo escorted them to their rooms, Sol walked behind imitating him the whole way. Eph walked behind everyone hiding her head in Poni's back mumbling her intentions of what was going to happen to her deranged wife. They all agreed to meet in two candle marks in the dance hall downstairs. Brie and Xe stood with their mouths agape in their room. A huge round bed took up most of one wall; it was covered with dyed furs in the most gods-awful day-glo colors along with pillows thrown everywhere. Silk robes laid across the end of the bed, and on the table laid a menu; Brie being the famous bottomless pit snatched it up.

"Xe, look room service, for the love of gods!" Her mouth fell open. "Xeee, look at this!" Xe leaned over her shoulder and scanned the menu.

"For the love of gods, what is that stuff!" Xe exclaimed.

The two lovers cringed at the first one. Gerbil race, three different sizes available. Neither one of them wanted to know what the gerbils were for. Brie pointed to the sixth one. "That's us number six." licking her lips she winked at Xe. "You know what leather does to me, especially on a certain warrior princess, skin tight, breast revealing; just thinking about it sends shivers up my spine."

Heads spun as five amazons and one warrior princess walked into the crowded dance hall. It was disco Athens style, music pounded, lights flashed as scantly clad male gendered bodies gyrated with the music and each other. The few women that were there had taken over the far corner, and some of these women scared even Xena. There wasn't enough room for even air particles to pass between bodies. Brie held on to Xe's arm with both hands while her amazons surrounded their queen and her champion. One dancer got too close and found himself flying without wings; it was that muscle spasm in Xe's leg again, it happens sometimes.

Xe walked up to a table full of the ugliest drag queens in Athens. That eyebrow with the life of it's own shoot up and a small evil smile crept across her face. All that was left was a few feathers falling to the table from their boas. As soon as they were seated a waiter appeared wearing miss matched cloths and armor, Brie's eyes bulged when she looked up into Joxer's face.

"Joxer!"

"Gabby, what are you and Xena doing here?"

` She told him of their joining's and that this was a gift from Cupid, his face was crestfallen along with his heart.

"I got stuck working for my brother for a while; I got in this fight with these really tough warlord types, so I'm scraping up enough money to get my bent sword fixed."

Xena smiled a very wickedly at him. "The healers here can do that kind of surgery?"

"No, no, no, not that sword." He gave his little giggle. "Believe me; Aphrodite has no complaints about that sword. If you know what I mean." He winked at Brie.

"That's not what Brie told me."

Joxer glared at Brie who smiled her innocence.

"You told! Gabby I'm ashamed of you!"

"She has very talented toes doesn't she?" asked Xe. Joxer giggled. "Oh yes, very talented indeed!" Brie was deep red by now; she knew she would have to explain to the others about the toe thing and Joxer's pocket.

"Joxer, bring us lots of port will you, I'm gonna need it after this little talk." Brie groaned and dropped her head to the table. Candle marks later, the girls were quite drunk, groping hands and wondering feet under the table, who's feet were who's no one knew or cared at this point. Brie wanted to dance but of course, Xe's answer was she doesn't dance. Therefore, it ended up the queen and her amazons on the dance floor while the warrior guarded their table. The two couples were back to front grinding against each other while Brie just kind of jumped around. Athens would have another bad crop year! All was fine until this huge over weight bull dyke from Hades approached Brie and put her hands on her. Steam shot from Xe's ears, warrior mode kicked in as she headed for the dance floor. Standing in front of them, she glared at the woman. The tipsy little queen looked up into ice blue eyes.

"Hi honey, this is tiny, tiny this is my wife, Xena warrior princess."

The woman's mouth dropped open, without a word, she fled the dance floor. Xe pulled Brie into her arms holding her tight, Brie one not to miss an opportunity, snuggled into Xe's breasts. Xe moved her hips against her, slowly grinding, they matched the others movements. Then Xe felt someone at her back, with lighting fast hands she grabbed hold of a leather top with poor Sol in it.

"I love it when you're rough, makes my blood boil!" Xe released her. "Sol you need help!"

"Nah, just 24 hours of sex would do. We have a new dance we want to show you." Signaling to Poni and Xeno, they moved behind Brie as Eph and Sol moved behind Xe, pressing their bodies against her the matched their grinding movements. "We call this the hero sandwich." Both lovers groaned, sweat was starting to run down the over heated bodies, the room felt like Hades itself. Leaning up, Sol whispered in Xe's ear.

"Group sex in queenie's room?"

"How about, group beating in Sol's room, aye?"

"Just kidding Xe, really!"

"Eph, your wife is making passes at me!"

I'll take care of it Xe, I know just the punishment." Eph leaned forward and stuck her tongue into Sol's ear, who if not for being up against Xe would have buckled to the floor. Xe looked to a far corner, squinting against the flashing lights; she tried to bring things into focus.

"Noooo, it can't be!"

Dragging everyone with her, they pushed their way to the couple in the corner. There sat Jayce and on his lap dressed in drag was none other than Ares in a pink leather teddy and fishnet stockings. Ares turned at the sound of his name being purred from behind him.

"Xena! Centaur dung!" In a flash, he was gone.

"Too late Ares, you've been seen!"

Brie swaying against her giggled. "Ares, the drag queen of war!"

Another flash and Artemis appeared. "Hi girls, having fun? I know you have, I've been watching, especially Solari here!"

"Huh, why me?"

"You remind me of someone, and for the life of me I couldn't think of who, then it hit me, I have a surprise for you." She snapped her fingers and a bound up cupid appeared beside her. "Go on Cupie dear, tell her!"

"Aunt A, do I...ouch!!!" Arte stood with a feather in her hand and was reaching for another to pluck, when he gave in and spilled his guts.

"Alright, Solari, I'm ahhh…your daddy."

Solari's eyes rolled back in her head, and then she hit the floor spread eagled.

"It seems that the little fence jumper here likes to jump the hestian virgins, hence the drop in virgins and the growth of the Amazon nation by way of orphaned female babies." More of his feathers hit the floor. "Well, I gotta go see Hephaestus about some chastity belts, later."

Arte was gone leaving Cupid still standing there all tied up. Xeno grabbed a feather. "Ok little brother, what's up with Ares, what'd ya do ta him?"

"Oh, it will wear off, hopefully when he's in the SM room with some big guy named Bubba. I did it so that Xe and Brie could enjoy their honeymoon in peace."

Brie leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

Untying his hands and wings Xe gave him a hug. "I owe you one!" Cupid blushed then disappeared in a pink cloud.

They carried Sol back to their table, Eph got some ice and dropped some down the front of Sols top, Sol smiled and without opening her eyes she gave away more of their secrets. "Lower, Eph lower!" She got it all right; the whole cup of ice in her lap, which brought her eyes open instantly.

"Now we know what's wrong with her, look who her relatives are, excluding me of course." Xeno mumbled the last part.

Joxer came with more port, filling up all their cups he decided it was break time and sat with them. After a while, he was like them feeling no pain. Hands came over his shoulders running down under his metal tray armor on his chest, closing his eyes he sighed.

"I know those hands, Dite, pleeeease not in public!"

Six sets of eyes bulged almost out of their sockets as they looked to Cupid in drag standing over Joxer's shoulder. Chairs fell back as six women ran from the room laughing.

Xe and Brie decided to stay away from the specialty rooms, instead Brie talked her into shopping. Now the other four were a different story.

*******************

Xena and Gabrielle were back from shopping, Xena's feet where killing her not to mention she felt like her arms had been stretched numerous inch's from caring all the stuff Brie had bought. Brie skipped along beside her prattling on about something, Xena had no idea, her ears had gone deaf candle marks ago. Heading down the hall towards their room, they had to go pass those funny ones. When all of a sudden they heard girlie screams and out of one of the doors came queens, running with flailing arms like broken chicken wings and their legs kicking out to the sides, it was surprising they didn't trip each other. The lover's looked to each other and said one word "Poni!" At that moment, she stepped from the room with a bullwhip in her hand.

"Bunch of pansy's, go play with the gerbils!" Seeing Xe and Brie, she waved to them and went back into the room.

As they rounded the corner, a herd of little brown hairy brown gerbils ran past them. Sitting in the middle of the floor with empty cages all around her was Xeno. Dumping the last of the cages she yelled, "Run and be free!" stepping around the little fur balls they asked her what she was doing. With a mischievous grinned she looked up at them. "Do you know what they do with these poor little critters?" shivers over took her. "It makes my skin crawl, Gods those sick bitches!"

"We thought you were with Poni down the hall." Brie said.

"I was at first, but those queens were talking about gerbils and I knew that I had to save them! Anyway, they think Poni is something called a domino......dominic.......dominestress.....something or other."

"Ooooook, so where's Eph and Sol?" Xena asked.

Last I heard Sol was talking about fruit salad, now I don't know if she was talking about food or the weirdo's around here?"

Brie groaned as she rolled her eyes. "I don't even want to think about it. Xe I'm hungry, can we go eat, I hear they have a buffet here!"

"After all you ate today you're hungry? Aaahhh...never mind lets go."

That's where they found Eph and Sol; Eph was filling a dish with little pieces of fruit when they came up to her.

*****************

"We wondered where you were, you guys try any of the rooms." Asked Brie, she got a glare for her answer. "Brie do you have any idea how demented some of the stuff is around here?" Eph rubbed her arms to get rid of the goose bumps that covered her skin. Brie reached for a roll, as she picked it up, she noticed it had a long brown tail, Eph saw it and laughed. "One of Xeno's friends!"

Knowing Brie would be a while getting her food Xena sat down with Sol; for someone who would eat squid Brie had to select her food just so. She watched Sol, who had her tongue which was deep purple, sticking out the side of her mouth thread pieces of fruit on a piece of thin cord. Brie and Eph joined them; Eph set the plate next to Sol as she sat down. "How much more are you gonna need anyway?"

looking at a six-foot length of cord almost all the way filled, Sol looked up to her lover with a toothy smile. "Almost done, then we can go play!" Eph groaned then dropped her head on the table.

"I'm curious, what is that for exactly?" Asked Xe as she pointed to the cord.

"Weeeell, you see, those edible things they have here taste awful, plus it turns your tongue a funny color." She stuck her tongue out to prove it. "So I invented this fruit string." Her eyes twinkled as she gazed at Eph. "Come on Eph, climb up here on the table so I can show them how it works." Eph clenched her teeth and a fist.

"You see this!" She waved her fist in front of her lover.

"We already tried that honey!"

Eph grabbed her blond curls and was trying to pull them from their roots as Brie started choking on her food; Xe reached over and started pounding her on her back trying not to choke on her own food as well.

"Anyway, you put this cord with the fruit on it up inside." As she explained, Eph got further and further under the table as Xena got pinker. Brie was too engrossed in eating to pay any more attention. "As you pull it out you eat the fruit, or I guess you could suck it out?" Brie spewed cider across the table, wheezing with tears in her eyes she looked to Xe. "Don't...say...it!"

***************

At the end of their weeks stay, the queens of Athens were thrilled! Although Jayce's would never be the same neither would some Amazons or the Warrior Princess. Xeno told Jayce that if she heard of any animals being used here, she was coming back with the whole Amazon nation and they were gonna kick some ass! Not to mention that a dominatrix would be added to the SM room as well as a taste-tester for the edible undies. But the biggest change would be the all-you-can-eat buffet; it was closed down now after a certain Amazon Queen ate everything there. She kinda misunderstood; she thought it meant eat the entire buffet. As they walked thru the door, they heard the bolts slide home behind them. The guards told them they were barred for six months and any time after that would still be too soon!

Sol looked to Gabrielle and snickered. "Maybe we should send for the others and storm them in about a week or so, we could turn the place into a women's bar and kick out all the pansies!"

"Why do that, all you guys do is party all the time at home, why come all the way here?"

Xena leaned over her wife's shoulder and whispered in her ear. "She just wants to kick some ass, let's go home; I'm tired and I wish we could sleep in our own bed tonight." In the blink of an eye, they were standing in their hut in the Amazon village. Xena looked to the ceiling and smiled. "Thanks ma! Gotta love it when we get our wishes granted."

Gabrielle wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her head down, whispering against her wife's lips, she said. "I don't need anymore answered, mine all came true the other night." She brought their lips together in a kiss to make all other's pale in comparison. The rest of the day and night, the village was terrorized with screams of passion from certain huts.

The End.
By Larisa
Hecate3366@frontiernet.net

The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive