Disclaimers: Nope, no violence or sex, sorry. Maybe next time.

Laura Daniels

Xena stared down at her hands as the amazons prepared Gabrielle's body for the burial ceremony. Ephiny had approached her numerous times and asked if there was anything she could do for her, anything she could get her. There was nothing though, nothing Ephiny could do anyway. The only thing she wanted back was Gabrielle and she knew, after much pleading and begging with Hades that that was impossible. No, she wanted nothing now except complete darkness and she knew where she could find that.

Ephiny had been watching Xena for some time now. She had arrived to Amazonia two moons ago and she looked more frightened and miserable then Ephiny could ever remember seeing her before. When Xena told her how Gabrielle had died, she knew there was no way in Hades that it was Xena's fault, but she also knew the warrior princess would blame herself until her dying day. And from what Ephiny observed her dying day would be coming very soon, if not physically, then in every other way possible. The look in the warrior's eyes told Ephiny what she was considering, going back to her dark side, surrendering to her past, to Ares. Gabrielle had long ago made Ephiny promise that whatever happened to her, Ephiny had to make sure that Xena did not go back to the vicious warlord she once was. Ephiny had promised her then that she would never let Xena do that, but at the time she thought nothing would ever happen to Gabrielle. She knew Xena would protect her with her life and that gave her the comfort she needed to make a promise she thought she would never have to act on. It was different now though, the fates had changed what could have been a happy, long life for them both and now Ephiny had to try and make good on her promise. How she was going to do that she was not sure.

"Ephiny," Xena started, startling her out of her thought, "I'm going to leave day after tomorrow, after?," Xena's voice trailed off and she was on the verge of tears, but she would not let herself cry. She had only cried when she saw Gabrielle die before her eyes, but she would not allow herself that comfort or luxury any longer.

Ephiny knew what she meant and she wished her friend would let herself feel the pain that was evident in every movement, everything she said, but she knew she would not, at least not yet. "Xena, I'm not so sure you should leave so soon after all this. You should stay here where there are people who?," but Xena cut her off with a wave of her hand.

"I have to leave Ephiny, I have to get as far away from my memories as possible, all of them."

"It's not like you to run from your fears Xena. Let me help you, please. I'm hurting too and it's better to go though it with someone else as well instead of alone," Ephiny tried to convince her, but knew it was a lost cause. In Xena's mood she took a big chance by just suggesting to the warrior that she was running from her fears, but it was a chance she would take. She would have to take many more in the coming hours and she wasn't sure if she would live to see the outcome, but still, it was the chance she'd take.

"Don't argue with me Ephiny!" Xena shot back, the coldness in her eyes making itself painfully aware to the person on the receiving end. Xena was already at the point of not caring for anyone. The whole world could go to hell now for all she cared. Let the Gods take their wrath out on anyone who they wanted, even her, she wouldn't stop them. She would be going to find one of those Gods soon enough anyway, though she was sure he would find her first. He always had a way of showing up when her dark side was vulnerable for the taking and she always resisted, because Gabrielle was always by her side, but now she didn't care. She blocked out every word, every promise she had ever made to Gabrielle and began back on the path she was on before she met her. The anger took over and soon Xena was cursing Gabrielle for leaving her in this world alone, again.

Ephiny saw all the emotions riding through Xena like a wave. She wanted to comfort her, but she knew that was not what she needed now. She needed to be left alone, for now. Later though, after the funeral, she would confront her. Maybe there would be two funerals, but Ephiny was confident in her abilities and she would make Xena see, she had to.

"Fine Xena, you leave day after tomorrow. No one will try to stop you," Ephiny said pretending to give in.

Xena began to saunter off into the woods and said low enough just so Ephiny could hear it "Like anyone could." Then she disappeared into the woods.

The words were not lost on Ephiny. Gods did she have her work cut out for her. Just then she thought how nice it would be if Gabrielle were here, she would know just what to say and do. Then Ephiny remembered, how could she forget? She felt tears start to sting her eyes and she held them back. Not now she told herself, later. She slowly walked back off to her tent thinking of every possible thing, every tactic she could use to open Xena up. She knew everything she said would be about Gabrielle and once the right cord was struck, the great warrior would come tumbling down with a long, hard, crash.

Xena began to walk slowly into the woods after her confrontation with Ephiny. What did Ephiny think she was doing? Xena was not running from her fears, she was just going back to who she knew she really was. Gabrielle was always the one who believed she was a good person, Xena did not. She was almost convinced a few times by the bard, but deep in her heart she knew better. She knew what she was capable of and the bard was just too naïve and optimistic to see that. Suddenly Xena broke out into full run, running as fast and as hard as she could. Her head was spinning, the anger was crumbling and the pain was setting in, but she wasn't going to let it. So, what? Maybe Ephiny was right, maybe Xena was running from her fears and pain, but that was her choice. She owed no one nothing anymore. The only person who had ever had the courage to stand up to her, to confront her and tell her what needed to be said. The only person who was able to look past her tough, warlord exterior and into her soul. The only person who ever really loved her was dead. Gabrielle was the only person who ever gave her a chance to change who she was and stood by her through everything. How was she supposed to go on living that same life without her?

Xena's legs began to get tired and she realized she had run at least three miles from the Amazons. She was on the verge of physical and emotional collapse, but she wouldn't let herself. She kept running until she came to the edge of a cliff with the ocean below it. She didn't come here to do herself in though, no she came here for something much worse than that. She came here to kill the person Gabrielle had showed her she could be and resurrect the killer she knew she was. She didn't have to wait long before he showed up.

"Well, well, Xena. I heard about what happened. All the Gods have by now. Hades was not too happy with you, though he says he understands. He's weak in my opinion. You'd be surprised to know that more then just me takes an interest in you up on Mount Olympus. I never knew you had so many admirers. They all told me to stay away from you and let you grieve, but I knew you needed me now more then ever. Xena, all you have to do is ask me. The offer still stands," Ares finished smirking. He knew the answer he would get, it's what he had been waiting for. Now that the little babbling twit was out of the way he would have her.

"I'm not doing this because I want to be with you Ares," Xena explained giving him her trademark glare.

"Oh, I know, but I don't care. I know you're doing this because your world is collapsing around you and you are afraid and alone. That's why I'm here for you now. You may not think you need me now, but you will grow to need me, to want me," Ares retorted with a seductive smile.

"Meet me here day after tomorrow. I will join you then."

"Until then," Ares said laughing and he burst off the scene in a fiery blaze.

Xena began to slowly walk back to Amazon territory. All she wanted now was some port and a hot bath. Hell, the bath didn't even matter too much. She knew what she was doing was something she promised Gabrielle she would never do if she died, but she never thought she would. She pushed it all to the back of her mind anyway. She was doing what she had to do to survive without the amazon bard.

Ephiny had sent Epinon to watch Xena. Where she went, what she did, who she talked to. She knew it was a dangerous thing to do with Xena, but in Xena's state Ephiny doubted that she would notice. Almost four candle marks after Ephiny had sent Epinon to watch Xena she came running back at full speed. She had a look of incredible dread on her face and Ephiny knew what she was going to tell her. She had been expecting it, Gabrielle told her to. She waited though, why jump to conclusions even if she knew them to be right.

Epinon caught sight of Ephiny and ran over to her. "My Queen, I followed Xena as you told me to and I saw something very disturbing," Epinon said. She waited before going on making sure the Queen wanted to hear what she had to say.

Ephiny took a deep breath and told her to continue.

"Xena left here and went to the edge of the cliff. For a minute she looked as if she were contemplating jumping, but then she took a few steps back and just stood there as if waiting for something. Then what you feared happened, Ares showed up. He taunted Xena somewhat and then told her his offer still stood. She told him to meet her at the cliff day after tomorrow and she would join him," Epinon finished looking relieved to have this information off her back.

"Good work Epinon. Nothing else was said?" Ephiny asked apprehensively.

"No."

"Good. Go take your post now," Ephiny told her. As soon as she was gone Ephiny took another deep breath and tried to prepare herself for what she would have to do soon. She knew she had to do it tonight. If she waited until tomorrow after the funeral it might be too late. No, tonight was the night and as she looked at the sky she saw that Apollo was making a quick get away and it would soon be dark. She was not looking forward to what she had to do, but she would do it all the same. Xena didn't seem to be at the point of really hurting anyone yet anyway. The anger was clearly there, but the pain and sorrow were there too and Ephiny was sure, despite what Xena might try to say, that the pain and sorrow were much greater then the anger was. Ephiny looked up at the sky and silently asked Artemis for guidance in what she was going to do. She only hoped the Goddess was listening to her. As she began to look down again she saw Xena cross the clearing and began walking slowly back to the village. Xena had a look of pure pain and regret on her face, but Ephiny knew as soon as Xena realized someone saw her she would replace that face with her classic stoic warrior face. Just seeing that Xena did regret what she had just done and felt pain enough for it to register on her face gave Ephiny an added incentive to talk to Xena. There was no reason for her to suffer like this alone and if she wasn't so damn stubborn and prideful she would realize that. She wasn't going to confront her just yet though, but very soon.

"Xena!" Ephiny called as Xena was walking past her towards her tent.

Xena whirled around at the sound of her name, she didn't know why, but for a moment she thought it was Gabrielle. She saw Ephiny standing there though and realized it was her who had said it. Ephiny better not have another lecture to give her, she wasn't in the mood.

"Yes, Ephiny," Xena finally answered tonelessly.

"Everything is set for tomorrow," Ephiny started trying to hold her emotions in check, "dinner is being served now. Are you going to join us?"

Xena studied Ephiny carefully, she was up to something, but hell if she could figure out what right now. Did she even really care at this point? She knew she should eat, but she had no interest in something so trivial right now. They would have port there though, that would at least give her some comfort.

"I guess," Xena responded after several seconds of staring at Ephiny. The scrutiny had made her considerably nervous, but she didn't let it show. She was slightly surprised by the warrior's answer, but it would all fit nicely with her plan. With some port in Xena she would be a little easier to handle.

"I'm glad to hear you are still going to eat," Ephiny said and began walking towards the dining area with Xena slightly behind her.

"I'm not coming to eat," was Xena's flat reply.

Ephiny said no more after that. There was nothing she could say. Until Xena had some port in her conversation would be almost impossible, especially conversation about Gabrielle. They arrived at the dining tent and Ephiny immediately motioned for Solari to come over.

"Solari, please get Xena and myself a pitcher of port. Her and I are going to go sit down over there," Ephiny ordered and pointed over to a small table in a private corner.

Ephiny began to walk over to the table and Solari was already on her way when Xena spoke. "Ephiny, I would rather sit alone," she said in the same emotionless voice she used before. She wasn't even speaking with anger, hate, or revenge. This concerned Ephiny more, at least when Xena was feeling something she knew what to do, but now?

"Well, Xena. You're only going to be here until the day after tomorrow, I would like to talk to you before I never see you again. Besides, you have the rest of your life to live alone and angry," Ephiny said hoping to get Xena's attention. For the slightest second Xena raised her head at the comment, but she said nothing. She continued walking quietly, but she had caught on to Ephiny's comment.

"Fine then," was all Xena said.

After two hours of sitting in almost complete silence and watching Xena swig back more port and wine then any sane person should be allowed to have, Ephiny had had enough. She had tried to talk to Xena at earlier times in the evening, but Xena would silence her with a look or a word and Ephiny would let the matter drop. Now though Xena had drank so much that Ephiny was afraid she was beyond comprehension. There was only one way she could find out though, try.

"Xena, can we talk now," Ephiny asked in a low, apprehensive tone.

"About what?" Xena inquired, her speech a bit slurred.

Ephiny was amazed. This woman had drank more then two pitcher's of port and one pitcher of wine by herself and she was still able to comprehend the human language. It also seemed to have taken enough of a hold on her to be able to have a conversation with her now. Now or never Ephiny thought.

"About Gabrielle," Ephiny answered slowly. Time suddenly seemed to pass as if they were stuck in some kind of slow motion time warp. Ephiny watched Xena carefully for any hint of the warrior she was afraid might show itself, but she saw none. Xena bowed her head forward and seemed to look into her mug of port as if she was trying to see the answers inside of it. Ephiny remembered doing that once upon a time, but that was a story for another time. Ephiny took Xena's silence as a sign to continue and did so very cautiously.

"Xena, I know how hard this must be on you, but I'm?" her voice trailed off when she saw the warrior look up at her with a gaze that would render Artemis into fear. Ephiny was afraid Xena was going to stand up and kill her right there, but instead she only spoke, words that Ephiny remembered hearing not too long ago.

"YOU, have no idea how I feel. I feel as if someone ripped out my soul and then killed what was left. I feel as if my life has no meaning now. I feel like all the so called good I've done is for nothing. I feel like nothing really matters anymore and I know I certainly will never be the same. She was the only person who took me for who I was. She didn't ask anything of me that she knew I couldn't give. She taught me how to love, how to open my soul. What she had done for me goes beyond any words that I could ever speak. Nothing will ever be the same and neither will I," Xena finished, her face showing what her words conveyed. Ephiny could tell she was on the verge of tears again, but kept them at bay. Ephiny for herself was crying at this point and did nothing to hide it.

"Xena, as much as you may think I don't know how you feel, I do. My first love was killed as I watched and there was nothing I could do. There aren't many people I tell of her because it's so painful for me to talk about, but I do know how you feel," Ephiny explained to her, waiting to see Xena's reaction to what she had just told her.

"I'm sorry Ephiny, I never knew," was all Xena said, so Ephiny continued.

"What you just told me now Xena, about what Gabrielle means to you, what she gave you, I've heard similar words before," Ephiny stopped again wanting to make sure Xena was listening to her. Xena looked up at her and Ephiny saw the real Xena there, the Xena she knew and she couldn't let her fall away again. She was chipping away at Xena and was having the desired effect. She was sure once she showed Xena what Gabrielle left for her it would complete things. Xena would ofcouse still have much healing to do, but getting out of the anger was what had to be done first. The rest would be worried about later. Ephiny decided to continue since Xena said nothing.

"When I first heard those words they were from someone who was in as much pain as you. Someone who lost the person who meant life to them.

"No one has ever been in as much pain as I am now. NO one," Xena broke in giving Ephiny a cold glare. Xena knew it was pretty selfish of her to say that, but she didn't think anyone could ever feel the pain she felt now. She wasn't sure why she was listening to Ephiny anyway, she should get up and leave, but she couldn't for some reason. It was almost as if something was forcing her to stay here and face her.

"Yes there is Xena. Gabrielle," Ephiny finally revealed and was now waiting with growing anticipation for Xena's response to this.

Xena heard Ephiny identify the person who she claimed was in as much pain as she was now, but she couldn't believe it. Gabrielle? Then she remembered. When Xena had died Gabrielle told her something about coming to the Amazons. She never specified what she said or did while she was here, only that it was one of the most painful and lonely times of her life. Oh, Gods. Her mind suddenly became flooded with all her emotions and she struggled to put them back behind the stone walls she had built up and only one small woman from Potidiea was able to knock down.

Ephiny saw Xena struggling to control the flood of emotions she must be feeling and she was unsure of what to do. She wished she could say or do something, but she knew that if anything would help now it would be what Gabrielle had given to her. She remembered very clearly when Gabrielle gave it to her and what Gabrielle had told Ephiny when she did. Ephiny decided to tell Xena of these things too. Ephiny reached behind her back and produced a single piece of parchment.

"Xena, I know you must be fighting for control right now, but I must continue. Gabrielle told me that if anything ever happened to her that I could not let you go back on the path of evil and I promised her I would not. You know an Amazon would die first before she would go back on her word. Xena, I know you met with Ares today and I know that you plan to join him again, but I know that isn't really what you want. You are a good person now and to go back to him would be the true death of Gabrielle?"

Ephiny stopped again when she saw Xena look up at her. It wasn't a look of hatred this time, nor a look of anger, but a look of realization.

With the last words Xena realized Ephiny was right. Her going back to Ares would kill Gabrielle more then anything else. Even if she was already dead she knew Gabrielle was watching down on her and she knew that if Gabrielle saw her go back to Ares it would probably destroy her soul. But what was she supposed to do? Gabrielle would get over it eventually, Xena tried to rationalize to herself. Then Xena took notice of the parchment Ephiny held.

"What is that?" Xena asked almost not wanting to know. She had already silently guessed to herself what it was and if she was right she could not bear to read it.

"Gabrielle left this for me to give to you not too long ago. She said that if anything happened to her I was to give this to you," Ephiny told her extending her hand to her and placing the parchment next to Xena's hand. Ephiny waited to see what Xena would do. She just sat there looking at it, with an expression Ephiny rarely saw on her face; fear. But why would she fear it? Then it hit her.

Xena just sat there looking at it. She was too afraid to read it. What would it say? "Well, you'll never know till you read it dummy" she chided herself. She couldn't though, but she knew she had to. In a way it was like Gabrielle's last wish and Xena had to honor that, no matter how painful to herself. She apprehensively put her hand over the parchment, took a deep breath and picked it up to read.

My beloved Xena,

If you are reading this I know then that I am now in a better place, though it will be lacking you. I also know that you are probably blaming yourself for my death. I know that whatever happened to me was not your fault and if there was something you could have done to prevent it you would have. I do not blame you and I don't want you to blame yourself, consider it a last wish. I know you must feel like you're dying inside, that's how I felt when you died. I know all of your instincts are now telling you to go back to your warlord ways, but remember Xena, you made a promise to me. You promised me you would never revert back to who you used to be, that you would never join Ares and that you would continue on your quest for redemption no matter what happened to me. That promise is one of the most important things you ever gave me and I've always loved you so much for being so brave as to give me something that is so hard for you to give. You gave me so much. You're trust, loyalty, companionship, friendship, strength, kindness, understanding, sympathy, love. You've given me more then anyone else has ever tried to give me and I love you so much for letting me into your heart and soul. I know how hard that was for you. I want you to stay true to yourself now and true to me, I know it will be hard, but I know you can do it. Please Xena, don't give up. I love you and I'll be right here waiting for you when it's your time. Stay strong my brave warrior.

Love always,

Your friend,

Gabrielle

Ephiny watched Xena as she read the note and saw the tears fill her eyes. She knew that Xena would be able to control herself no longer and she was ready.

Xena finished reading the letter and folded it to put in the pouch she had with her. Her thoughts and feeling were going to explode from her and she knew she couldn't control them any longer. Suddenly she got up and ran like hell from the tent out into the forest.

Ephiny had her head down and looked up just in time to see Xena bolt out of the tent. Ephiny was unsure of what to do, so she quickly got up and ran after her. She would keep her distance though, but she would be close enough if trouble arouse. She knew Xena was in a horrible state right now and capable of anything.

Xena ran faster then she had ever run in her life and she knew Ephiny wasn't far behind. She also knew that Ephiny would keep her distance and just watch over her. Xena just had to get away from all the people though, she needed distance. In a way though she was grateful for Ephiny's following because she also knew she was going to need someone soon.

Ephiny thought she lost Xena a few times. The woman was running at speeds she thought were not possible, but this was Xena. She caught sight of her though just in time to see Xena drop to her knees. Xena crawled up by a tree and wrapped her arms around her legs. She looked so afraid and alone, yet Ephiny knew now was not the time to make her presence known. Xena probably knew she was there anyway and if she wanted to talk to her she would tell Ephiny so. Soon Xena put her head on her knees and began to cry. Ephiny breathed a sigh of relief, finally. She hoped Ares was now out of the picture, but she knew that when Xena didn't go to meet him he would come looking for her, if not before. If Xena resisted him though and was able to begin the healing process then Ephiny would have completed her promise and helped one of her best friends. Right now though her concern was on Xena, Ares would be dealt with later.

Xena cried for at least half a candle mark and when she was done she felt no better. Xena had hoped she'd feel some sense of relief, of healing, but she knew a process like that took some time. Tomorrow was Gabrielle's funeral and she knew she would cry there again, she didn't care if the world saw her. Gabrielle was worth her giving up a little of her pride for, hell she'd give up anything for Gabrielle, she almost had a few times. Just then she heard Ephiny move in the tree about forty paces from her, she had forgotten she was there. She wasn't sure if she was ready to talk to Ephiny yet, but now she did want some privacy and Ephiny to stop watching over her like a lost child. Xena could handle herself again, she was in control.

"Ephiny, you can come down now."

Ephiny jumped at the sound of her name, almost falling out of the tree and catching her balance just in time. She gracefully descended from the tree and soon stood at Xena's side.

"How long did you know I was up there?" Ephiny asked unsure of what else to say just then.

"I knew you were following me from the village and I knew you wouldn't let me out of your sight. I'm not upset though, I'm grateful. You had the strength to stand up to me, not many people are able to do that and live to see another day. Thank you for everything you've done in the past few days, putting up with a lost warrior isn't an easy task. Now though, if you don't mind, I would appreciate some time to myself," Xena said looking up at Ephiny and trying to give her a reassuring smile. She didn't succeed. She was still in a lot of pain and smiling was not something she cared to do at the moment.

"Are you sure Xena? You're not going to go back to Ares, or hurt yourself are you?" Ephiny asked still a little worried.

"No, Ephiny. I won't hurt Gabrielle like that, I will not be responsible for hurting her in anyway. I will not go back to Ares and I won't do anything to myself. You have my word."

Ephiny searched Xena's face for any sign of a lie, but found none. All she saw was a friend very much in pain who needed some time to herself. "O.K. Xena. Will you come back to the village tonight?"

"Yes, soon."

"Would you like to talk then? There are still things I need to tell you about the ceremony tomorrow, what part you'll play and I would like to talk about your future plans."

Xena had to smile at that. The bard had rubbed off on everyone she met including Ephiny, even herself. Xena began to sense the loss in the pit of her stomach again and felt ill. The smile vanished and Ephiny caught it.

"Xena, we do need to talk when you get back. Come to my tent when you return, I will be waiting there for you," Ephiny saw Xena frown slightly at the thought of having to talk, "and I won't take no for an answer."

Gabrielle really rubbed off on Ephiny, now SHE was giving her orders. "Sure Ephiny, whatever you say. When I arrive back I'll come directly to your tent."

"Good, I'll see you there." Ephiny turned to go then putting all her thoughts in order. She was actually able to do it, she couldn't believe it. Xena was not going to go back to Ares, her promise was fulfilled. Ephiny breathed a sigh of relief and whispered, "I hope you are with her in some way Gabrielle she really misses you."

"I am with her always Ephiny and she knows that."

Ephiny jumped 12 feet in the air when she heard Gabrielle's voice and she almost screamed except something seemed to keep the noise from leaving her mouth.

"Shhh. Calm down, Ephiny, it's only me, Gabrielle. Don't make any noise, I don't want Xena to hear."

"It's ONLY me!" Ephiny said in an astonished tone. "How can you say it's only me? Aren't you suppose to be dead?" Suddenly Ephiny's words settled in on her and Ephiny crossed the distance between her and Gabrielle in three, long strides and embraced her firmly.

"Nice to see you too," Gabrielle said in an amused tone hugging Ephiny back.

"I thought you were dead," Ephiny said still in shock.

"I am dead Ephiny," Gabrielle said frowning slightly.

Ephiny's face dropped at Gabrielle's words. "Then how?," Ephiny asked motioning to Gabrielle as if to explain her presence.

"Hades is granting me this favor. I saw how much pain Xena is in and I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to her the right way. I saw what you did though. You kept your promise to me, you kept her from going back to Ares. Thank you so much," Gabrielle said hugging Ephiny this time.

"She'll be very happy to see you. I don't know if she'll let go though, I don't know if I will," Ephiny said through tears.

"Please, Ephiny, don't cry. The Elysian Fields are a beautiful place to be, I am not alone up there. I do miss Xena and you, but my time came, one day yours will too. Celebrate my death, in doing so you celebrate my life. I have to go see Xena now, but thank you again for being such a great friend. You are truly an amazon."

"Goodbye, Gabrielle. I'll see you in the Elysian Fields." Gabrielle then smiled and disappeared as quickly as she appeared. Ephiny couldn't believe she got the chance to see Gabrielle again. Maybe Hades isn't so bad after all. Ephiny started back to the Amazons knowing that when Xena came to her now they would have much to talk about.

Xena still stood under the tree mulling over what she would now do with her life. She was unsure she could still carry on the path of redeeming all the sins of her past, but maybe she could just settle down with the Amazons and live a quiet life. She laughed out loud at the thought. Her, a quiet life? How absurd! She had always been a free spirit and nothing would ever change that, she needed adventure. To feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins and her senses peaked. In ways she needed that now more then she did before, it would keep her mind off her loss. "What would Gabrielle tell me?" Xena asked herself aloud.

"I would tell you to follow your heart," Gabrielle answered from behind Xena.

Xena spun around at the unexpected voice ready for a confrontation until she placed who that voice was from and soon her eyes confirmed. "Gabrielle?!" Xena gasped in a silent, almost inaudible whisper of hope and astonishment.

"Xena, I had to see you again, I couldn't just leave without saying goodbye now could I?" the bard asked smiling at Xena with the only eyes that had ever accepted Xena for who she was without question.

Xena wasn't sure what was going on, or if it was real, but right now she didn't care. Her Gabrielle was standing in front of her again and she wasn't going to waste any time. She pulled Gabrielle into a tight hug before Gabrielle even had a chance to resist, as if she would anyway. Gabrielle returned the hug with equal strength and both felt complete again in each other's embrace. After at least five minutes of just holding each other Gabrielle found her voice again.

"Xena, I don't have a lot of time, but I knew I couldn't just leave things the way they were. I need to be sure you're going to be okay," she told her all her emotions evident on her face.

Xena frowned slightly. "You really are dead then. For a minute I thought maybe it was just a bad dream or some cruel trick one of the Gods was playing on me."

"Xena, I know this is hard on you, but it's my time and when it's yours I will be waiting for you. I'm never far from you and I am always watching over you. I can hear your thoughts, I can feel your pain and your fear. You are the strongest person I know and I know you will survive my death."

"I feel so dead inside. It's like my soul has been ripped from me and all that's left is the darkness. I feel like I did before you came. Empty, lost, tired, afraid, alone. I don't know how to fill the void Gabrielle, I feel so helpless," Xena explained to her friend, tears filling her eyes.

"I know Xena," Gabrielle said with tears in her eyes as well, "but if you look deep within yourself you'll see there is no void, that I am still there with you. I will always be with you in your soul, in your heart. I can just no longer be with you in the physical form anymore, but I will always be here. If you need me all you have to do is speak and I will hear you. I will never truly be away from you."

Xena held eye contact with Gabrielle for as long possible before tears fell down her cheeks and she turned her head downward, away from Gabrielle's loving face. Gabrielle gently moved her hand to Xena's chin and brought her face back to hers. Gabrielle was crying freely now and she wanted Xena to hold nothing back. Xena looked into the bard's glistening eyes again, to the love and comfort she always saw there when she was in pain and in need. She tried to keep her tears under control, but it was futile at this point. Soon she was crying so hard her body was shaking and she felt very weak and dizzy. Gabrielle took the warrior in her arms and held her tightly while slowly lowering them both to the ground so she could better care for her crying friend. Xena felt as if she weighed nothing and Gabrielle silently thanked whatever God was giving her this strength. Xena's sobs only grew more heart-wrenching by the minute. Gabrielle cradled her warrior in her arms and rocked her gently while stroking her hair and whispering words of comfort to the normally stoic warrior that lay crying in her lap. She hated to be the cause of such incredible pain for Xena, but there was nothing else she could do, she had tried it all. After what was probably half a candle mark of holding Xena, Gabrielle knew it would soon be time for her to go back, though she now found herself wanting to stay here more than anything else in the world. She knew that was not possible though, she would have to say goodbye.

"Xena," Gabrielle whispered softly.

Xena slowly looked up into Gabrielle's eyes with a deep sadness, she knew what Gabrielle was going to tell her.

Gabrielle's heart seemed to break when she saw the look in Xena's eyes, the feeling that they carried. "Why?," she thought to herself, but knew there would be no answer. The fates never did give explanations.

They began to pull away from each other and each movement felt as if they weren't moving their bodies, but Mount Olympus.

"You know I have to go back Xena," Gabrielle started regretfully, "but I want to be sure you are going to be okay."

"Gabrielle, after I read that note you left me I started thinking about the connection we share, the bond we have. I didn't have a chance to write it down, but I made up a song that I would like to share with you. Do you want to hear it?" Xena asked knowing that Gabrielle would jump at the chance.

"Of course I want to hear it!" Gabrielle answered back enthusiastically. Xena chuckled at the bard's enthusiasm and in turn make Gabrielle laugh.

"Okay. It's really just about how I've been feeling these last few days. It's called "The Feeling I Had."

Xena finished singing and Gabrielle was now crying. Xena hugged her again, but said nothing. She didn't know what to say anymore, there was just too much to say and not enough time.

"Don't worry Xena," Gabrielle said though tears, "I can hear your thoughts. I know everything you want me too, all the other songs you wrote for me and never showed me. The poems, the letters, I know them now because I am with you."

Gabrielle started to fade and she knew her time was almost up. "Remember Xena, don't give up. I am always with you, you are NEVER alone and I'm here waiting for you when it's your time. I love you Xena."

"I love you too Gabrielle," Xena said crying again as the bard slowly disappeared from her view.

Xena stood in there for a bit longer and soon began to make her way back to the Amazons. After seeing Gabrielle again she knew what she was going to do. Xena still felt awful, but now she seemed to have a sense of purpose again, a sense of being. Now she just had to discuss her plans with Ephiny.

It didn't take Xena much time to make it back to the village and she headed straight for Ephiny's tent as she promised she would. She quietly peered in to make sure she would not be disturbing Ephiny and when she saw that Ephiny was only talking with Solari she relaxed. Ephiny saw that Xena had entered and dismissed Solari telling her to come back later to finish their discussion.

"Ephiny, I know what you're going to ask me and I've already made my decisions," Xena told her.

"Care to share them with me?"

"Well, if you don't mind I was planning on staying here for awhile. I don't know how long, but I know this is where I should be for awhile."

Ephiny was smiling widely at Xena's decision to stay with the Amazons. "I'm thrilled to hear you will be staying with us for awhile, we'll be happy to have you." Ephiny looked to be lost deep in thought for a few minutes, as if she were making a decision. When she seemed to be satisfied with her choice she spoke again. "Xena, I was unsure if I should ask you this or not, but I'm curious, did you see Gabrielle?"

Xena was taken aback by the question only because she didn't understand how Ephiny could possibly have gotten the idea. "Well, yes, Ephiny, I did see Gabrielle just before I came back here, but how did you know?"

"I saw her too. I know it was hard for me to see her, knowing she wasn't going to be able to stay. It must have been hard for you too, huh?" Ephiny asked.

"Yes, it was very hard for me, but it was also an ending of sorts. A better ending then what I was left with or what the funeral tomorrow would have brought me. I was able to say goodbye and now I can began the rest of the healing process. I know tomorrow will still be hard for me, as will the coming months, even years, but that's why I've decided to stay here for awhile. I know I will be with friends," Xena answered her smiling as she finished.

"Yes, you are with friends and we will do whatever we can to help you through this," Ephiny responded, smiling back.

They stood there for a few minutes, looking at each other. It wasn't awkward, but more comforting, each knowing the other was there. Xena could only take so much though before she spoke.

"Well, if there's nothing else you wanted to talk about I think I will go to my tent and get some much needed rest, finally."

"No, nothing else. I just wanted to know your plans for your future, now I do. I'm guessing since you know about Amazon customs you already know what your part will be tomorrow in Gabrielle's funeral," Ephiny stopped briefly waiting for Xena to nod her head in agreement that she knew her part, when she did Ephiny continued, "I think you're getting some rest now is just what you need. I will see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Ephiny, and thank you," Xena said before stepping out.

Ephiny called goodnight after her and told her she was welcome. A smile played across her lips. It was a rare thing when the warrior princess said a thank you, she normally did everything for herself. Soon Ephiny herself was feeling tired and turned in for the night.

The next day everything was ready to go for the funeral. Xena was up at the crack of dawn as usual and knew she had a long day ahead of her. Soon Ephiny was speaking with her about if she wanted to sing the ceremonial song or if she wanted someone else to do it. It would be hard for her, but no one else would do in Xena's mind, so she quickly accepted the role. She also informed Ephiny of another song she would like to sing before the ceremonial song and since singing was a big part of Amazon custom Ephiny had no complaints. Everyone loved to hear Xena sing anyway, she had the most beautiful voice, one of her many skills. Less than two candle marks later everything was in place and Xena was ready, well, as ready as she would ever be anyway. Every Amazon alive was at the ceremony, they seemed to be lined up for miles, it was amazing. If only Gabrielle realized the impact she had on people, then Xena remembered, she did know, now. The people that wanted to speak had their turns and then Xena gave the Eulogy. It was quick and to the point, but it did honor to Gabrielle. Now Xena was to sing the song she said she would before the ceremonial song. It was a song Gabrielle had always liked. Gabrielle said the song reminded her of Xena and Xena never saw the connection, maybe she didn't want to, but now she saw the connection. Now, that Gabrielle was gone, the song had even more meaning then before, to the both of them. Xena hesitantly walked up to the platform and gave a brief introduction to the song. She pretty much said what she had been thinking about it. Xena took a few deep breaths and stood there for a moment. Everyone was watching her and for some reason it made her squirm somewhat. "Calm down," she thought to herself, these are your friends and Gabrielle is listening too, don't disappoint her. With that last thought Xena began to sing the song "I Will Never Be The Same."

Afterwards she sang the ceremonial song and everyone paid their respects. The morning dragged on into afternoon and soon dusk began to set in. Everyone was starting to leave at this point and Xena breathed a sigh of relief. She appreciated all of them in this difficult time, but she was exhausted and wanted some time to herself again. Xena spoke with Ephiny briefly and then turned in for the night.

The next few days were the hardest, but she had a lot of support. Ares did return the day after the funeral to try to re-claim Xena, but she easily told him to get lost and for once he didn't push. Xena was shocked that he didn't try every trick in the book, every wicked way he knew. For whatever reason Ares decided to back off Xena was thankful. Xena stayed with the Amazons for almost a year. She would still leave for weeks at a time to help some village, but she always came back. Her and Ephiny became very close, but no one would ever be able to replace Gabrielle and Ephiny never tried. After almost a year of living with the Amazons Xena left to travel again. She was only gone for two years though when she came back and settled permanently with them. She shocked everyone with that move, but she was welcomed as one of their own. Xena died ten years later in battle, on the same day she had said goodbye to Gabrielle. When Xena arrived in the Elysian Fields she was surprised a little. She wasn't sure if she had earned her way in or not. Gabrielle kept her word as well. When Xena arrived Gabrielle was there waiting for her. Smiling her innocent, beautiful smile.

"Gabrielle?I can't believe?," Xena's voice caught in her throat as tears threatened to overwhelm her.

"I told you I would be here waiting for you Xena," Gabrielle said smiling again and taking the warrior's hand.

"I missed you so much," Xena said. She wanted to say more, but she realized she didn't have to. She realized Gabrielle could still read her thoughts as she could read Gabrielle's.

"I missed you too Xena," Gabrielle said now crying as Xena's emotions flooded her mind.

No longer needing words the bard and warrior hugged each other tightly and let their thoughts and emotions enter each other's mind's freely. Slowly they parted and smiled at each other. Then, hand in hand they began to walk down the path of their new life together. It was beautiful and endless. Nothing would ever part them again, eternity was theirs.