Everyone always thought she was in complete control. I think that was understandable. They'd see her stride into their villages or camps, all leather and dark good looks. She could command like no one I'd ever seen or heard of. She could read people and instinctively know exactly how to speak to them to make them listen to her.

Of course there were those that would persistently challenge her. I used to watch these encounters with a bit of awe and fear. But, after time passed I just saw it as comical. I'd no longer try to talk these unreasonable people out of countering the Warrior Princess, I'd merely sit back and watch.

She amazed me. The power she portrayed by the way she held her body was wondrous. There were times when I knew exactly how the people first meeting the Warrior Princess felt. There's a lot to be said about the power of intimidation.

What was more astounding was that most of the time she didn't even try to intimidate people. That power was just a part of who she was. It wasn't an act, it was Xena. And it was perplexing and wonderful at the same time.

She was in control. She had to have that control, she thrived on it and the strength it gave her. When she could hardly trust the people she came into contact with, how else was she supposed to survive? That's what the control was about -- survival. If someone else was in control then she would be putting her life in their hands, and that was something the Warrior Princess never did. Funny thing, I never really thought about it. I followed her without thinking that is wasn't fair that we should be expected to trust her, but she couldn't trust us. There were times where I wanted to have a say in what we did, but I didn't want to take the control away from her, I just wanted to know that I what I thought was important to our lives.

There came a point in our lives though when she gave up some control to me. Not in battle, not even in our days saving people. She explained it to me once. We were laying in each other's arms, under the stars, our bodies cooling from the pleasure we'd brought each other earlier. That was always when she was most insightful about herself.

Her magnificent blue eyes looked into my own eyes and spoke in a quiet voice, one she hardly used most likely because it betrayed emotion.

"I'm in control all the time, Gabrielle. I don't want to always be in control of this." She was referring to our lovemaking.

Surprised? It surprised me too. Don't get me wrong, she didn't always give up control when we were intimate.

When we first discussed this underlying passion for each other, she was very much in control. It was a good thing she was because I had a lot to learn.

After time, after I got bolder, I discovered her need to be controlled in bed. It was so precious to me that she was showing me this, that I had tears in my eyes afterwards.

My strong, brave warrior needed to submit. And she chose me. It was new territory for both of us. She'd never let anyone play that role, never let anyone else have that power over her.

"I trust you and I love you," she said wiping my tears that first night. It made sense. Sometimes she needed to just be Xena of Amphipolis, but she couldn't be that woman when people were looking to her everyday to save them.

And who better to lead her than the woman she shared her life with, the woman who loved her?

Of course, that's not how it always was. Sometimes, when passion was uncontrollable, she'd lead a vicious attack on my body, leaving me quaking in her wake. I love that side of her too.

Which did I prefer? Both were my Xena. Both were facets of the woman I love with all my heart. I loved the tiger and the cat, both serving my needs.

Although, privately, I loved the control I could have over the mighty warrior. I craved that control. Something about her being vulnerable to me created a feeling of power and a surge of love.

When her body was mine to command and my pleasure her ultimate goal, we both experienced a climax greater than ever. Each time I was left so grateful for my partner and her need to submit to me.

And understand one thing: It was all about need. I gave and took what I needed and so did she. It wasn't about power, it wasn't about letting someone take over, it was about what we needed. This didn't diminish our roles in the life we shared, or change them in any way. She was still the Warrior Princess and I was still the bard who loved her.