The night that everything began to change was as still and silent as any Xena could remember. Their dying fire made the only sound; neither of them spoke. The warrior felt something in the cool, calm air surrounding their campsite, but her instinctive sense was neither positive or negative; something was simply not right.

Gabrielle had been unusually quiet, speaking only when spoken to, since their encounter with a burly young would-be warrior just after dawn. They had just finished breakfast when Xena detected a nearby presence; that incredibly sensitive hearing making her freeze, her head tilted toward the trees to her right. Her eyes met Gabrielle's across the fire before she threw herself into a flip toward her sword to her left. She heard the bellow, the charge through the trees, just as she seized the sword's handle, whirling to the right in a half crouch to meet the first swing. From the corner of her eye, Xena saw Gabrielle dive for her staff, and come up with it just as Xena met the young man's wild eyes. A well-placed kick to his midriff doubled him over but he swung out with the sword again, only to find the blow deflected easily. He straightened, raised his weapon over his head in the beginning of a downward arc, but Xena took advantage of the opening, slicing open a small wound to his upper left chest. The man screamed and dropped his sword, then upon seeing his own blood seeping through his shirt, turned white and fainted instantly.

Xena dropped her own sword, shook her head. Another one who thought himself big enough and mean enough to challenge her only to find out otherwise. She turned to look at Gabrielle, surprised to see her pale as well, the staff in her hands forgotten. She looked at Xena for the briefest moment, then put down her staff and searched the saddlebags for something to press over the young man's injury.

"Do you think he's a bounty hunter?" the bard asked as she held a scrappy piece of fabric over the wound.

Xena studied the man's prone form. "Could be," she said. She found herself feeling a little sorry for him; he obviously had very limited fighting skill and even less sense, and she crouched beside her companion to treat the wound, though she was rather hurried and disordered about it, deciding that a permanent scar would be just the thing to make him rethink his path in life.

The young man eventually came to, gasping when he saw Xena leaning over him. "You're going to live," she snarled, glowering at him. "You're very lucky my friend here is the compassionate type." She held her fingers menacingly against his throat. "Now. Are you working alone?"

The man nodded quickly, choosing to look at Gabrielle, rather than Xena.

"All right," Xena said in a tone of false friendliness, "you just be on your way like a good boy, and try not to do anything this stupid ever again. Oh!" she picked up his sword, then straightened to her full height. "I'll just keep this as a little momento of what we once meant to each other."

The man struggled to his feet, his hand over his chest, and stumbled into the brush without looking back.

Concern had risen in Xena as she and Gabrielle packed their supplies in the silence that had largely continued until nightfall. Xena had looked over at the bard as she secured their things to Argo's back, noting that her normal color had still not returned. She hardly looked at Xena at all.

Xena crossed over to her and gently took her by the shoulders. "Gabrielle. Are you all right?" Gabrielle gave no response. "What's wrong?" Xena pressed her.

The bard looked at her for a long time, finally forcing a smile. "I'm fine," she said, her tone deliberately light. "It's just that?.that was a little?unnerving?first thing in the morning."

Xena cupped her chin in her hand, stroking her cheek with her thumb. "I know," she said. "But it's not the first time it's happened." She tried to smile. "We've been through worse."

Gabrielle took her hand and held it tightly for a moment, the green eyes fixed on Xena's intently, before turning away.

Xena pulled herself onto Argo's back, her thoughts lingering on Gabrielle. The bard had seen so much worse in the time they had traveled together. It simply made no sense that a brief duel which hadn't even made Xena short of breath had disturbed Gabrielle this much.

Xena had extended her hand to her, and to her surprise, Gabrielle had taken it; she usually preferred to walk. Xena noticed how tightly she held onto her at first, gradually loosening her hold as Argo made her way through the brush.

Now Xena lay back on her bedroll in the near darkness, grateful for the stillness in which to think about this feeling that tickled her senses. Something was different. What was it? Whatever it was, it seemed to have affected Gabrielle as well. She lay next to her as usual, her back to her, breathing evenly in sleep already. The bard had spent a long time by the fire after supper, writing in one of her scrolls, still withdrawn and barely aware of Xena's presence. Xena had allowed her her solitude; there were moments when she just seemed to need time alone. Xena studied her, her concern growing. This time, though, unlike the others, the bard kept the reasons for her silence to herself.

Xena watched her sleep, wanting so much to just put her arms around her and hold her, erase every thought, every memory that brought her pain. Of course, she thought uncomfortably, a memory of yourself would have to be included in there somewhere. She closed her eyes against the thought and began to turn her head away when Gabrielle cried out as if in agony; a high-pitched cry that Xena swore she felt in her own body. The warrior sat up fast, prepared to wake her, but after a brief but violent twitch, the bard visibly relaxed and she made no other sound.

After awhile, Xena lay back again, closing her eyes only after she was certain that Gabrielle slept soundly. She turned onto her side, facing the bard's back, ready to take her into her arms if the nightmare returned. She secretly cherished the moments of physical contact they shared, and had imagined becoming even closer with her, sensing that Gabrielle had done the same. But it was as if each had told themselves that the thought had never occurred to the other, and they had adapted a familiar pattern of denial together. It was for the better, Xena thought, keenly aware of the bard's warm body only inches away. Everything would change. She pulled the blanket over her face, longing for sleep so she could temporarily put her intuitions to rest. But she felt herself only lingering in the half-conscious state that plagued her sometimes, denying her any rest at all.



Sometime in the night, the air now chilled, the moon risen high, Xena came fully awake to the realization that Gabrielle was no longer beside her. She scrambled to her feet in one blinding instant, only to freeze when her eyes rested on the bard's sleeping form, her bedroll now stretched out on the opposite side of the fire. Xena sighed when she saw that Gabrielle once again lay facing away from her. That's it, the warrior thought. When they reached the next village, they were going to talk.



Gabrielle seemed more herself the following dawn, though she gave no explanation for the apparent sadness that had overwhelmed her. Xena suspected that because she slept so deeply, she had no memory of the nightmare, but when the warrior inquired if she had slept well, the bard's serene expression faltered just enough that Xena caught it, and their eyes locked. Gabrielle smiled, turned away. "Yeah," she said. "You?"

Xena kept watching her. "Sure." She smiled to herself. They knew each other so well.

Why should they even bother trying to lie?

They prepared and ate their breakfast in a morning air as still as the previous evening's, in that strange aura Xena had detected then. They fell into the comfortable rhythm they had developed together, temporarily setting aside all that Gabrielle left unsaid.

"We're stopping at the next village," Xena said later as she saddled Argo. "Ask around a little, just in case our friend left out a minor detail or two." And to get you to talk to me, she thought.

Gabrielle carried over the saddlebags. "He was just a kid," she said in a puzzled tone.

Xena crouched to secure the saddle. "Exactly. Definitely not a paid assassin. But he could have been sent ahead to check things out." Even as she said the words, she knew that was likely not the case. She took the saddlebags from the bard. "We should get there by nightfall. We can get a room for the night. Pamper ourselves for a change."

Gabrielle smiled up at her tenderly. "We don't do that very often, do we?" she said quietly. She patted Xena's arm, almost casually, but Xena saw a flicker in the green eyes, an intensity that caught her off guard for a moment.

"That would be nice, Xena," Gabrielle finished, glancing quickly away when the warrior's eyes stayed on hers.

Xena swung up into the saddle. Something was definitely going on with her all right.



Gabrielle chose to walk this time, scouting ahead as she usually did, sometimes wandering so far ahead that Xena lost sight of her. Xena finally kicked Argo into a gallup, catching up with the bard in a clearing, noticing her start at the mare's appearance. Xena hurriedly slid down to the ground, feeling her patience begin to wane.

"Gabrielle," she said, immediately regretting the surliness of her tone, "we ought to stay together."

The bard nodded slightly, her lips pressed together, her eyes dropping to the staff she held in her hands. "I know," she said. "I'm sorry, Xena."

Xena felt gripped by emotion at the torment on her face, in her voice. Her thoughts had disturbed her again, long before Xena had spoken.

The warrior raised her hand to her face. "It's all right," she said gently, thinking then of asking her what had distracted her lately, about the nightmare, her unusual quietude, but this was not the time or place. Instead, she wrapped her arm around Gabrielle's shoulders and squeezed. "C'mon, "she said. "We'll both ride."



They came upon the little village just after sunset. Xena scented the air, took in the length of the hamlet in one alert glance, and concluded the area was safe. There were only a few small huts lining the roads, scattering the visible landscape, along with the usual well-lit tavern, and a small inn, with a nearby stable.

Gabrielle dismounted first, pulling the saddlebags down after her. "I'll go get us a room."

Xena slid down beside her. "I"ll take care of Argo. Then I'll meet you in the tavern."

The bard slung the bags over her shoulder. "You'll stop by the room first?"

Xena gathered Argo's reins. "I'll drop off the tack,"she said, "then I'll join you."

Gabrielle nodded and smiled a little, in what Xena perceived was a nervous way.

"I'll see you later, then," she said in that deliberately offhand tone again, then she stared off toward the inn at the end of the street, looking down at her feet.

Xena stared after her for a moment. "I hope to the gods she talks to me," she told the horse, patting her neck. "And I hope I can help her."



Xena entered the inn some time later, carrying Argo's tack. The inn-keeper, a short, rotund, grizzled man, showed her to the room. "Yer friend said there was a message watin' fer yeh," he said as he hobbled away. "Very im-por-ant."

Xena sighed, shook her head. The furies, she thought. Ares has sicked them onto Gabrielle this time. She lowered the tack to the floor by the fireplace, beside the saddlebags. A message. Her eye caught sight of the scroll, then, open on the table in the corner. She straightened slowly, staring at the parchment, her heartbeat increasing. Looks like she's talking, she thought. Her hands actually trembled a little as she picked up the scroll and read what was clearly Gabrielle's handwriting:

I am so much in love with you. But I have never been able to just come out and tell you.

I have tried so hard to make it return to what it was before, because there would be no going back to the love we had before. But I couldn't do it. And I don't know if I want to now. I tried and nothing changed. So I accepted how I feel, and I want you to accept it, too, if you can. I don't really know what to do. I need you to help me somehow. Whatever happens, I will always feel the way I do, that I love you more deeply than I ever thought possible.

Oh, gods?.Xena sat down heavily, blood rushing from her head, her mouth dry. She was not really surprised that the bard felt this way, but she would never had expected her to admit to it. So much for all that comfortable denial. Xena closed her eyes. Oh, Gabrielle??why? Why now? She sat there, breathing deeply, opening her eyes finally to stare at the words again. All that she had been through in her life, all those she had faced, the times her life had nearly ended, the one time it had, and now she felt terrified. This was either the beginning, she thought miserably, or the end. Her hand closed around a little clay pot in the center of the table, and she hurled it against the fireplace mantle with all the strength she had.



Xena found her at a corner table at the back of the small tavern, looking down at an empty mug in her hand, so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the warrior approach.

Xena stood ver close to her, once again seized by an impulse to take her into her arms.

"Gabrielle." She kept her voice low, to avoid being overheard by the few patrons surrounding them.

Gabrielle realized that she stood over her, and she glanced toward her without raising her eyes. She studied the mug instead, turning it so slowly in her hand that Xena clenched her own fist to keep from jerking it away from her.

She never looked up, even when Xena sat down next to her, watching a face she had looked upon so many times, in so many ways, but had never seen in quite this way before.

"I asked around a little," Gabrielle finally said, trying to keep her voice light again, "and no one here seems to know anything about a price on anyone's head. At least no one mentioned your name. So it seems like that kid was on his own??." Her voice became quieter, finally trailing off into silence.

Xena watched her, her obvious distress so painful that Xena reached over and touched her arm. "I don't know what to say to you," she said, stroking the arm with her fingertips.

Gabrielle abandon the mug and took her hand for a moment, rubbing her fingers with her thumb until she drew her hand away again. "I wish I hadn't told you in that way," she said very quietly, her words now clipped as if she were angry. "I just didn't know how to say it. And I had to." She hesitated. "I'm just so lost?." Her voice stared to break. "And I'm so used to depending on you for help?" She sighed heavily, a trembling exhale of breath.

"Oh, Gabrielle," Xena said, her sigh as heavy as the bard's. "I can't help you with this." A tightening began in her throat at the shattering tone in her partner's voice.

Gabrielle finally looked up, her expression somber, a dark, foreign look in her eyes.

"I guess I knew you couldn't. I just hoped that?.." She stopped, attempted a faint smile.

It was Xena who dropped her gaze then, to her own hands, nervously clenching and unclenching, until she simply laid them out flat on the tabletop. Gabrielle's loss for words made her uncomfortable, irritable. "It's not that we shouldn't talk about this," she said abruptly, "this just isn't the place to do it." She dragged her gaze upward to meet Gabrielle's. "You surprised me, Gabrielle." She hesitated, then surprised them both by saying, "I didn't know you would admit it. But it would have to come into the open someday. It would have to."

Gabrielle's entire face changed. That dark brooding gaze lifted, to something warmer, more familiar. There was something in her face then, that Xena could only define as hope. She leaned forward suddenly, fixing Xena with that green gaze, a determination there that the warrior had seen countless times before.

"You feel the same way," she said, a slight awe in her voice. "Don't you."

Xena stared at her. That was not a question. Yet it required an answer, one she wasn't certain that she could give.

"Just tell me," Gabrielle said softly. Her eyes unnerved Xena; they pinned her down, demanded a response. "Yes or no, Xena. Please."

Xena knew she could never refuse her when she asked her anything in that pleading manner. She took a deep breath, released it, and swallowed hard. "Yes," she heard herself say, "I do."

Gabrielle's face softened, and then blossomed into that warm, familiar smile Xena always looked forward to throughout their days together. She covered Xena's hand with her own, then turned it over and slowly rubbed her palm against hers, causing a little fluttering sensation in the warrior's stomach she had never felt before.

Xena felt her heart begin to race again, a subtle panic building inside her. She looked to the front of the tavern, drawing her hand away from Gabrielle's. "We really ought to get something to eat," she said, with a tense smile.

She felt Gabrielle's eyes on her but she kept her own gaze focused on the door, wishing she were anywhere but here.



They walked back to the inn still enveloped in the uncomfortable silence that had settled over them. Neither of them had spoken during their meal, though Xena had looked up once to meet Gabrielle's eyes and had seen such a longing there, she had to look back at her own plate again, her body weak and flushed with a longing of its own.

Xena looked up at the starless sky, realizing that the uneasy feeling that had come over her in the clearing was strangely absent, although everything certainly was different now. Everything forever changed.

Gabrielle entered the room first, crossing to the table and rolling up the scroll Xena had left there. Finally, she broke the silence.

"Is this the way it's going to be between us now?" she asked, her voice weary and resigned. "Not speaking, not even looking at each other?."

Xena began stripping off her armor, the irritability she felt earlier now turning to anger.

"Gabrielle?.." she drew out the word. "I really don't want to discuss this right now."

Gabrielle lay the scroll on the mantle, moved in front of the warrior. "Xena." Her voice now held a firmness, a resolve. "If not now, then when? We have to talk!"

Xena threw one of her bracers to the floor. "All right," she said tightly, glaring at the bard. "You want to talk. There isn't much to say. Just that we cannot do this. I do not want to do this." Her hand flew up, fingers brushing Gabrielle's lips as she tried to speak.

"No matter what our feelings are toward each other, we should not act on them." She took a deep breath to calm herself. "I care about you too much." She looked into her partner's eyes for a long moment. "I never wanted anything to change," she finished softly.

Gabrielle smiled reassuringly. "I know you're scared," she said. "Don't you think that I am, too?"

Xena tried to take her eyes from Gabrielle's but it was useless. The bard's hands came up, ever so slowly, to take Xena's and hold them tightly, as her body leaned forward to make contact with the warrior's. This was nothing like their usual affectionate contact, Xena thought, but something much closer, a new level of intimacy she could never have imagined with anyone.

Gabrielle's eyes gradually closed and Xena's did the same, as she bowed her head and kissed the bard so lightly, so hesitantly, their lips barely made contact at all.

Xena drew back, her eyes opening. This was Gabrielle after all, not a lover to be used and disposed of, as was her usual practice.

Gabrielle opened her eyes, briefly, reading her unease, her fear, and tightened her hold on Xena's hands. She moved even closer, her lips touching her ear. She kissed her throat from jaw line to jaw line with a slow, sensuous ease that made the warrior's eyelids flutter closed again in spite of herself.

But Xena felt herself begin to draw back again, her body breaking out in a cold sweat.

"No?." she forced the word out. "I can't," she said hoarsely, pulling her hands from Gabrielle's. "Gabrielle?..please." She jerked her head to one side; it took all the effort she had.

Gabrielle looked up into Xena's eyes with the deepest expression of sadness the warrior had ever seen in all their time together. Xena felt a crack open deep within her, becoming wider and deeper and more painful as she looked into those wounded green eyes, pain she herself was inflicting. Gabrielle turned quickly to leave but Xena caught her arm and held on tight.

"Gabrielle?.I know I'm hurting you, but?.." she paused as her throat began to close up. "Don't you see? I'm terrified of losing you," she went on, vehemently, tightening her hold on the bard's arm. "But I'm even more afraid of hurting you again. Even worse than now." She lowered her voice. "What happened with those savages will happen again. You know it, too." She loosened her grip as Gabrielle blanched at the memory of her death. "I've caused you enough pain," Xena finished.

The sadness in Gabrielle's eyes was replaced by a look of gentle understanding, beyond the tears that had gathered there. "It is because of what happened then," she said, weighing each quiet word, "that I want to live the life I have now with as much happiness as I can find. And I want that for you even more."

Xena released her. She stood there, watching a deep, flushed expression harden the bard's features, knowing the same look had crossed her own face. Something beyond love?.a look very close to desire.

"I should?..see about another room," Gabrielle said, her voice deep and hushed. She turned and retrieved the scroll from the mantle, and silently left the room.

Xena slumped to the bed. She sat there a moment, then began to undress. The bard was right of course. Xena went over to the saddlebags and took out her tunic, pulled it on. When Gabrielle came back to the room, she was not letting her go again.



Xena lay back on the bed and waited. Finally, the door opened, and she watched as the bard crossed the room to the saddlebags and crouched to tuck the scroll inside. She straightened with a drinking cup in her hand, her back to the warrior.

Xena rolled over and swung her legs over the side of the bed, her eyes never leaving Gabrielle's form. "Don't go," she whispered.

The bard froze, her head turning slightly to one side.

Xena stood up slowly, swaying a little as desire coursed through her, making her lightheaded. It was only for a moment, then she moved quickly up behind Gabrielle and slid her arms around her. "Don't go," she said, bending to kiss her neck as Gabrielle leaned her head back with a soft moan. The cup slipped from her grasp and clattered to the floor. She gripped the warrior's arms with trembling hands, holding them to her. Xena's acute senses were filled with Gabrielle?.her touch, her scent, the sound of her breathing. The bard turned in her arms, sliding her own around Xena's neck with a whimpering sound as their lips met in a kiss so deep and hungry that Xena felt it down her whole body.

Xena pressed the bard against her, feeling Gabrielle's fingers clawing at her back as if her body was attempting to merge with hers.

The warrior broke off the kiss only long enough to pull her tunic over her head; faster she knew, than her shift would have taken, reaching back quickly to steady Gabrielle, who seemed unable to stand on her own any longer. Xena held one arm around her as she touched her ear with her tongue, trying to unfasten her halter top with her other hand. The bard pushed her hand away, panting as she undid the laces herself, as frantically as the restraints would allow. She pulled off her skirt, then there was nothing left to detain them, and at last they came together, warmth and softness making them both gasp.

They held each other a moment, absorbing the sensation, then resumed kissing, tenderly at first, then with the ardor of before.

Gabrielle's arms tightened around Xena's neck, pulling herself up until her weight rested against the warrior's body. Xena wrapped her arms around her and lifted her a little, swinging her onto the bed, their mouths losing contact only for an instant. Xena lay over Gabrielle, her mouth leaving hers to kiss her throat, her chest, as her hands slid down her body. The bard sighed long and deep, slowly moving her own hands over as much of Xena's body as she could reach. Xena marveled at her touch, so gentle, yet so strong.

The warrior rolled onto her side, holding Gabrielle against her, their lips connecting again, while her right hand glided down the bard's back to her hip, finally reaching down behind her knee to raise it level with Xena's own thigh. Gabrielle moaned against her lips as Xena's hand moved up her leg, over the muscular abdomen, then down, so very slow. Xena shivered, overwhelmed that the bard was so ready for her. She broke off the kiss as their breathing became heavier, her lips touching Gabrielle's neck as the bard made little sounds in her ear, making Xena want her even more.

Xena lost herself in the moment completely, her face in Gabrielle's hair; inhaling the sweet scent of her skin, while the bard's fingers rhythmically kneading her shoulders.

The warrior tried to prolong the experience she had imagined so many times, but Gabrielle could not wait; her body arched against hers, tensing as her breath caught in her throat, fingers digging into Xena's skin.

Xena lay with her arms around Gabrielle's limp body, stroking her hair and kissing her face, tasting the tears there. She heard her name in an exhaled breath as she turned onto her back, hugging the bard close to her.

Gabrielle looked down at her with intense eyes, entwining the fingers of one hand with Xena's, leaning in a little to kiss her as she moved her other hand slowly down her body.

She kissed down her neck, moving against her, increasing the build up of sweat between their bodies, as her hand stroked the inside of the warrior's thigh.

Xena cried out as Gabrielle's mouth moved further down, her hand further up. The depth of emotion she felt for the bard erupted at the intensity of her touch, and she heard herself making soft growling sounds in sync with each gentle, but firm, caress of the bard's hand.

Gabrielle must have sensed from her own experience that Xena could no longer hold back, and she quickened her rhythm, burying her face in the warrior's neck as Xena clutched at her. The warrior felt the eventual eruption throughout her entire body, unlike anything she had ever experienced.

Gabrielle raised her head, leaning forward to press her face against Xena's, her arms coming around her. The warrior tightened her hold on the bard, in spite of the weakness that had come over her. They lay that way for some time, until Gabrielle pushed herself up onto her elbows, grinning down at Xena, who couldn't help but grin back. "Well," she said, her tone amused, "that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Xena laughed a little, smoothing a matted strand of hair from the bard's eyes. "You were pretty sure we'd end up here eventually, weren't you?"

Gabrielle moved to one side, propping herself on one elbow. She laced their fingers together again. "Let's just say that after what happened earlier, I had my doubts." She tried to smile but a trace of sadness briefly crossed her face, making Xena feel instant regret.

"This is a new experience for me, Gabrielle," she said softly. "I've never?.done this?.out of love before. It was always about power. Dominance." She hesitated, looked intently into the bard's eyes. "And it was you after all." She swallowed against the tears that had started to close up her throat. "I just don't know where I'd be without you. What I'd do?."

Gabrielle pushed her face against Xena's neck, her face. "I would never have left you. I couldn't."

After a moment, she lifted her head again, regarding the warrior with a look of uncertainty, and a little fear. "Xena?.I know you didn't really want this. You didn't come to me because you felt you had to?.did you?"

Xena drew her into a fierce hug. "Oh, Gabrielle. Of course I wanted this. I have for a long time now. I was just so?.afraid." She felt an instant surge of remorse as the words she had spoken earlier came back to her, harsh and unfeeling. "Gabrielle?."

The bard raised her head, misty light green eyes fixed on hers. Xena felt tears welling in her eyes; that uncomfortable tightening at the back of her throat again. Their faces were so close, her breath mingled with Gabrielle's. "I am so sorry?." Xena managed in a trembling voice, touching her fingers to the bard's face.

"Xena?." Gabrielle whispered, "don't. I just want to be in this moment. Just as it is. It's all right. Really." She took her hand, held it to her chest, above her heart.

Then she smiled. A sweet, loving, beautiful smile that Xena tried to return. She apparently succeeded, as the bard's smile became even more radiant. They simply looked at each other, their faces sobering into hardened expressions of desire. Xena saw a craving in Gabrielle's eyes that was somehow contagious, and the intensity there gripped her with an urgency both puzzling and exhilarating. She rolled the bard onto her back, gently pinning her body under her own as she kissed her, roughly, her hands in her hair, feeling Gabrielle's body begin to writhe, her hands gripping her shoulders. Xena heard a faint groan escape Gabrielle's lips as she drew her mouth away from hers to begin her descent down her body, kissing her everywhere within reach. She felt the bard submit to her, her trust in her so complete that Xena was nearly moved to tears, even as she made love to her. If only she trusted me enough to tell me why, she thought, rubbing her cheek gently against Gabrielle's stomach, why she told me how she feels now. Xena eased Gabrielle's thighs apart, her last thought the one word?.why??.before her mouth took possession of her.



The sound awakened Xena instantly. Gabrielle had rolled away from her and lay on her back sobbing, crying out unintelligible words in her sleep. Xena leaned over her, tears in her own eyes from the suffering on the bard's face, the tears there visible in the dying torchlight.

"Gabrielle!" Xena spoke directly into the bard's ear, long aware of how deeply she slept, but Gabrielle only stirred slightly, continuing to murmur what only barely sounded like Xena's name.

"Gabrielle!" Xena shouted this time, and the bard woke so suddenly that Xena jumped.

Gabrielle lay panting, squinting into the darkness, finally realizing where she was, and that Xena was with her. Like a blind person, she reached out and ran her fingers over Xena's face, then she lunged into her arms and clung to her, whispering her name.

Xena lay back, still close to tears, her face in the bard's hair, stroking her, comforting her, trying by sheer will to stop her trembling. "Shhh. It's all right, baby. It was just a dream. Just a dream." She repeated the words over and over until she felt Gabrielle's body relax and her breathing returned to normal.

"Go back to sleep now," Xena whispered, rocking the bard lightly, "I'm here." She remembered a lullaby her mother sang to Lyceus as a child, and she began to sing softly into Gabrielle's ear, feeling her loosen her hold, the trembling easing at once. She heard the bard's breathing deepen and knew she had only a few moments before Gabrielle gave into sleep again. "I love you so much," she said. "If only you knew how much."



Xena came awake at dawn as she usually did, though this morning Gabrielle lay curled against her, her arm across her, her hand palm down on her shoulder as if holding her there. Xena realized that her own hand covered Gabrielle's, that the bard's breath warmed her neck, that she wanted nothing more than to stay just this way for as long as possible. She closed her eyes again. Even had they not made love, just to have lain here so close together would have been enough. She smiled to herself. Not that making love with Gabrielle hadn't been wonderful once she had overcome her fear.

Xena heard a shift in Gabrielle's breathing, felt her lift her head. She opened her eyes to meet the bard's, her smile returned sleepily.

"Good morning," Gabrielle said, raising her hand to rub her eyes, her smile almost shy.

"Good morning," Xena answered in a sensual drawl, reaching up to run her finger over the bard's lips, eventually easing them apart while parting her own in anticipation of the kiss that came with such ease?.such expert grace now.

Gabrielle's hand slid from her shoulder up her neck to the side of her face as her tongue touched hers, dizzying Xena's once sleep clouded mind. By the time the bard's mouth left hers much later, Xena knew this was how she wanted to begin each day for the rest of her life. Her eyes stayed closed as Gabrielle gently caught her earlobe between her teeth, then traced the inside curve with the tip of her tongue.

"Oh, Gabrielle?." Xena sighed as the bard nuzzled her neck, "if we start this again, we will never get out of here."

Gabrielle paused just long enough to mumble, "and that would be a bad thing?"

Xena laughed. "You have a point," she said as Gabrielle laughed with her. "I'm glad you're okay this morning," the warrior continued quietly, "I was a little worried about you last night."

Gabrielle raised her head slowly, her eyes suddenly stricken, sobering them both in an instant. She pushed herself up, away from Xena, and sat up, back against the wall.

Xena raised herself to a sitting position, stunned by the bard's reaction. She twisted around to face her, watching her face pale as she stared across the room, seeing not the mantle, but something in her mind. Something horrible, Xena thought, swallowing hard.

She took Gabrielle's hand, held it tightly, but there was no response. The bard leaned her head back instead, closed her eyes.

"Gabrielle?." Xena said gently, leaning closer, heart thudding, aching, as she watched the bard struggle with the image that had flooded her mind.

Xena squeezed her hand again. "Gabrielle?.look at me." The bard's eyes opened into hers, the stricken look softer, but her face remained colorless. "You've had that dream before, haven't you?"

Gabrielle looked down at their joined hands, finally returned the squeeze.

Xena fought the impulse to simply take her into her arms. She had to have an answer. This nightmare was the key to everything. "Gabrielle?." She waited until the green eyes again rose to meet hers. "What do you see?"

Gabrielle took a deep breath, exhaled heavily and looked down again, shaking her head.

Xena raised her other hand to her face, stroked her cheek, smoothed her hair. "Sweetheart?." the term came so surprisingly easy, "you can tell me anything."

Gabrielle smiled suddenly upon hearing the word. "I know," she whispered.

Xena returned the smile before she spoke. "Why?" she pressed her. "Why did you tell me now? About how you feel?"

Gabrielle leaned forward, cupping Xena's chin in her hand as she kissed her, a brief, tender kiss that sent a shiver through the warrior's body; that warm sensation she felt only with the bard. They lingered for a moment, lips touching, reluctant to move, then Gabrielle gently eased away from Xena, who felt the cool air in the room settle over her at once. She watched as the bard got up and crossed the room to the saddlebags. She crouched to retrieve the scroll she had left there the night before, then slowly returned to the bed, holding the parchment out to Xena.

"I added something to it last night," she said quietly, some of her shyness returning.

Xena took the scroll hesitantly, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer now that it was so close.

Gabrielle bent to retrieve her clothing with one last look in Xena's eyes; a pleading intensity in that look that caused the warrior to look away, down at the words before her which Gabrielle could not say aloud.

"I may never get to show you how much I love you," Xena read silently, "but at least you know now. And I want you to know, too, that if anything happens to you again, I will not be in pain long because I will join you. I will not live in this world without you."

Xena sat there for a moment, feeling as if the breath had been knocked out of her. Slowly, she looked up at the bard. Gabrielle concentrated on lacing up her halter top to avoid Xena's gaze. "I suppose we should get ready to go," she said.

Xena remained silent and motionless, staring at her.

Gabrielle finally paused, looking directly into her eyes. "I mean it, Xena," she said, her tone leaving no doubt. "Just what it says."

Then she walked away.



End

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