So You Think You're in Control? by LynetteMae

A couple of weeks later, I'm still plugging away at my overtime, but the goal is within sight. I'm just padding the total a bit so that whatever Cassie wants to do on the cruise will be no problem. Consequently, we haven't seen much of each other with our eyes open since that last trip to the grocery store together. I'm exhausted once again when she picks me up from work on Thursday night. Our telephone call earlier drifted into a suggestive conversation, letting me know she was in the mood to make love tonight. Me? I'm always in the mood, tired or not.

The drive home is in comfortable silence. Her hand drawing lazy circles on my thigh as I drive and I'm thinking about how good she is going to feel tonight. After dinner she tells me to go get a shower while she cleans up the dishes. The shower and the great meal have me relaxed, so glad to be home. I decide to lie across the bed and wait for her to come in as well. The next thing I know my alarm is going off.

Damn it to hell! I fell asleep. She is working the next three nights and I volunteered for some extra hours on Saturday. This sucks. I swear I'm going to have some kind of permanent damage if I don't get some relief soon. Before we met, I would even consider taking matters into my own hands as it were, but now her touch is the only thing that satisfies me. Right now, Sunday feels like a lifetime away.

Friday morning I reach across the bed to find only empty cold sheets. I was sleeping so hard I didn't even hear her leave. Damn. This was getting old. I head to the kitchen to make coffee and there next to the coffee maker under the mug with the red and pink hearts that says 'I love you', is a note from my Cassie. I fix myself a cup taking it, the note and the morning paper out on the patio where I like to start the morning when the weather is nice. The 72 degree sunny morning doesn't disappoint as I relax on a lounge chair and begin to read her note.

It reads: Morning, baby. You were sleeping so soundly I couldn't bear to wake you. Besides, I love watching you sleep with the sheets not quite covering all of you offering me a delectable glimpse of that body I crave?

I groan out loud. The thought of her watching me and getting turned on was making me hard and wet. If she keeps this up, I'm not waiting two more days. Anyway, back to the note.

?Sorry I won't be there when you get home tonight. Since you are off early, could you be a sweetheart and pick up a few things for me at the store? I have a special recipe I want to try tomorrow and I need a few things. Thanks, love. I'll call you later.

My eye drops to the list, confirming my fear. The list is for groceries. Damn it.

Well, the day went better than expected. I did some calculations and realized that I had enough money saved for that surprise trip. I didn't need to work Saturday, so I gave away my hours to someone else. I couldn't wait to surprise my love with that news. Tomorrow was Saturday, and the night was all ours. I was so pumped, the thought of going to the grocery store didn't even seem that awful.

After work, the crew decides to go out for a bite to eat and a couple of beers. The crew being my myself and four of my good friends who I don't see enough of between work and my domestic existence since my lover and I decided to cohabitate. The gang never misses the chance to give me shit about it, either. We have been having a great time. The food tastes great, the beer is flowing and we are well into the jabs and barbs that good friends dish out once someone gets the ball rolling.

"Hey," Maggie says, "how'd you get permission to come out tonight, Tory?"

"I don't need permission," I retorted, "Just because I want to be home, don't be jealous."

"Yeah, whatever," Jan tossed her volley in, "Tory, you are so whipped."

"Screw you."

"Now, now, you're married, remember?" I launch a coaster at her head. She responds by throwing ice from the beer bucket at me. And so the night goes.

About eight o'clock my phone beeps with a text message from my girl. Grinning, I pluck the phone from my back pocket when I recognize her unique tone. The gang quickly launches into a series of jabs about the 'boss' calling and asking if my curfew expired. You know-stupid stuff like that.

What I read when I flip the phone open quickly wipes the smile off my face. Shit. I totally forgot about the store and she is surprising me tonight. She got off work early and will meet be home ten minutes. Oh, I am screwed. But, hey, maybe I can just promise to go to the store in the morning. No, I have to be at work at seven. Damn it. My friend sitting closest to me shoves me in the shoulder, brining me back from my panicked thoughts. I quickly text her saying I am at the pub with my friends.

"Hey, what happened? The wife tell you that you better get your ass home? Jesus, what's the matter with you?"

"No!" Now they were pissing me off. Don't you just want to slap the shit out of your friends sometimes?

"Yeah," another one chimes in, "You are so pussy whipped. You don't see the rest of us jumping just because some woman calls."

Okay, I had to defend myself, right? My phone is going off again, but I don't answer it. "Look, you assholes. I am not in trouble. In fact, I am never in trouble. Being in a relationship doesn't mean I can't do whatever I want."

They all start laughing and telling me I'm full of shit. "So, you're telling us that if she walked in right now and said 'Let's go', you wouldn't leave?" Maggie challenges.

"That's right," I shot back indignantly; "I've got my house under control." The table fell silent and for a millisecond I actually thought that I had shut them up with my bullshit retort. For a millisecond. That's when I realized that everyone was looking past me or at the table very nervously. I can feel Cassidy's eyes boring into my skull from behind me. Carefully, I turn around to find her eyes drilling into me, eyebrow raised to her hairline and hands on her hips. What the hell was I thinking? I know, I wasn't thinking, right?

Rising to my feet I move toward her, "Baby, you know I-" I can't even finish. The look in her eyes is something I've never seen before and it silences me. At that moment I don't care what anyone else is thinking, all I can think about is undoing the colossal wrong I've done. I beg forgiveness with my eyes as I stand there feeling naked under the fierce stare she is pinning me with. Everyone is expecting her to explode. I can see them bracing for the concussions. But I know her better, that's not her style.

"Cass?" She smiles at me with eyes full of a mixture of sadness and disappointment that rips at my heart. In that moment I truly realize the power of real emotional intimacy.

On the way home I stare at her taillights wondering what my punishment is going to be. What penance will make up for my stupidity? I know no matter what she asks, I will gladly do. Already I am desperate to make everything up to her. My phone rings.

"Hey, baby." I say quietly, holding my breath.

"You took care of the grocery list, right?" She asks expectantly. Jesus, this night is going totally to hell for me. I forgot totally about the list.

"No, but I'm on the way now." Already I am making a u-turn and heading back toward the shopping center.

"Thanks."

"I'll be home as soon as I can. I love you."

"Love you too." Her voice is distant, making my stomach churn and I hate myself for the pain I hear. Now my mission is clear. I must find the items on the list and get home as quickly as possible. Then, I will spend the rest of the night atoning for my careless words. My friends and I, despite all the shit we talk we know the real score. When it comes to the women we love, we will do whatever it takes to make them happy.

I enter the store moving fairly quickly at first. I know where the coffee and bread are. A couple of the other items I stumble upon by accident. Dipping chocolate, hmm?I head for the candy aisle. Gotta be there, right? In that aisle I find bags of every imaginable kind of candy, both chocolate and non chocolate, but nothing that says dipping. And, I'm experienced at this trap. I need exactly what it says on the list. After ten minutes in the aisle, I give up, moving onto the next item on the list. I'll find some stock girl and ask about the chocolate in a minute. Whipped cream has to be in the dairy isle. I grin widely when I am successful.

As I turn away, I see butter. Oh, there's butter on my list. Yehaw! I'm on a roll. Only, no. Wait, it says organic non-GMO, non-hydrogenated butter. WTF?? Well, it's still butter, right? (Yes, I'm asking you again. Just wish you were with me in the store, this might have gone a bit more smoothly.) Anyway, who the hell knew there were like fifty different kinds of butter and margarine? Shut up. I didn't. But, none of them say organic GMO, whateverthefuck, and don't even try to tell me you've heard of that shit before either. I stand there for what seems like forever examining every package of butter/margarine, with no luck. Damn it. Okay, we'll come back to this item, too.

Now I'm realizing that the little basket thing that I opted for instead of the cart with the inevitably broken wheel is beginning to fill up. Actually, it's overflowing. I balance a bunch of bananas on the top of the pile and try to hold it as steady as I can as I continue the hunt for the butter stuff and the chocolate. I'm gonna have to hold that stuff in my other arm, but thankfully it seems that will be the end of the list.

I find a stock girl chatting with a group of her little friends in the pickle aisle. They pointedly ignore me and continue their conversation about Paris Hilton's latest escapade. I fight the urge to throttle the three of them right there.

"Excuse me." I exaggerate my tone. They roll their eyes at each other before turning to me. Yeah, just one punch? "I need to find these last two items on my list." I point to the butter and chocolate.

"Candy aisle is aisle twelve and the dairy is behind you." With that, they go back to their mindless discussion. Oh, I so want to-focus "I've already looked there. See," I point to the extra descriptions, "I need dip-" Just then a twenty something surfer looking dude walks up and they are oblivious to me. Sonofabitch!

Thankfully, around the next corner I see a woman whom I have passed at least four times on this chore. She smiles sympathetically at my no doubt exacerbated expression. "Anything I can help you with?"

I swear I heard angels singing. "Yes, ma'am. I need to find these last two items on my partner's grocery list and I'm not having much luck."

She takes the list from me to examine it. She smiles kindly, "Follow me."

In nothing flat we have the last two items on the list. Oh, and by the way, the organic butter is in the special organic dairy section and dipping chocolate is in the aisle with the cake mix. Just in case you ever need it. You're welcome. Ten minutes later, I'm getting my receipt at the checkout. The bagger that waited on us last month smirks and asks, "Where's your girlfriend?"

Are all the kids who work in this store smartasses? I decline his help with my bags and hurry out of the store. I have to get home. I have reparations to make, remember?

My alarm floods the darkened room with the sounds of an old Pat Benatar tune at 0530. Slapping the offending box to silence it, I turn to look at her sleeping peacefully beside me. Her simple beauty makes my heart physically ache. We spoke only sporadically after I got home from the store last night. I could tell she was still working through her feelings and didn't want to push. I made dinner, did the dishes and even gave her a full length body massage when we came to bed. She said she wasn't mad anymore, but I could feel the tension in the brief peck I received in place of a good night kiss.

Before leaving the house, I sit on the edge of the bed to take one last look at her lying so peacefully in our bed. I notice a slightly crumpled piece of paper next to the phone on the nightstand. It's the grocery list, but she had written something below it. I pick it up to see if there was maybe something I'd forgotten. I read, 'Maybe I can make a change. Would a straight up, anonymous encounter be so bad?' The blow is like a kick in my diaphragm. I can't draw a breath around the panic stricken squeeze on my lungs. I stare at her sleeping form in stunned disbelief for a minute. I'm losing you.

Tears blurring my vision, I bolt from the house. I slam the truck door so hard the whole vehicle rocks. As the engine turns over, the tears overflow my eyes and stream steadily down my cheeks. All this time, I thought the comfort of a long term relationship was enough. Have all of my stupid antics caught up with me? Somehow I haven't conveyed to her the depth of my love and that's made her think she needs something more? Was the final straw my fucking idiotic comment to my friends? Leaning on the steering wheel, I bury my head in my arms and let the pain flow from my body with the tears.

At work, my buddy Madi stops by my locker. "Hey, Tory. What's up?" She affectionately punches my shoulder.

"Nothin'," I mumble, pulling on my work shirt without looking up.

"We're off tomorrow, bud. Why the long face?" She leans down to look directly at me. I turn away and slam my locker door shut. Madison-Madi is my best friend, and I know that if I look her in the eye, I'm gonna lose it.

"I'm fine, okay?" I try to push past her but she stops me with a strong grip on my elbow.

"Not so fast." My body is vibrating with the effort to hold my emotion in check. She shoves me into the break room and stands blocking the door with her arms folded across her chest expectantly. "Spill it."

After a long pause, I sigh. "I think Cass wants to have an affair." The words coming out felt like ground glass in my throat.

"Shut up!" Madi is staring at me wide-eyed in disbelief. I shrug and cut my eyes to the floor to study my boots. "And, Einstein, you know this how?" She waves her arms in an animated fashion with the question.

"There was a note."

"A note! What kind of note?" She is nearly yelling. "What the fuck did you do Tory? That woman is the best thing that ever happened to you."

"Not my note, asshole!" I thought she was supposed to be my friend and here she is assuming I fucked around. I glared at Madison. "Just leave me alone."

She stopped and stared at me. The sound of the air conditioner was the only thing in the small room for long moments. Finally, she let out a long breath, "Shit."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Okay, let's start over." She pulls me to the nearest round Formica table and we sit in the plastic chairs. "What makes you think she wants to have an affair? You said there was a note? Was it from someone?"

I shook my head, "No, it was her handwriting. It?it said she wanted a change and would an anonymous sexual encounter be so bad." I wrung my hands together on the table. Saying it out loud was painful. The silence was oppressive and I wished that I hadn't admitted it. I didn't want to be the subject of everyone's gossip. Plus, I knew my friends would support me, but I didn't want them getting down on Cassie; since I was sure that I was somehow responsible for her unfulfilled needs.

She snapped her fingers, bringing me out of my brooding. "I've got it!"

"What?" I raised confused eyes to her. "She's just feeling insecure. What you've gotta do is to romance her." She was animated again.

"I don't understand."

"Yes you do. Buy her flowers, wine her, dine her. You know, all the things you used to do when you were dating." Madi was leaning forward, her eyes gleaming with excitement at her revelation.

"What's that gonna do?" I asked skeptically.

Madison shook her head disdainfully, "Girl, you are slower than I ever imagined, aren't you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you see," she continued, speaking slowly as if to a young child, "When couples are together a long time, this shit happens. You lose that fire. What you need to do is show her that you still love her just as much as you ever did."

I was starting to get it. I remembered what Cassie said one night about being worried I wasn't interested. That was when I was working all that overtime. Madi was right. What Cassie was missing was the romance. The surprise cruise was still a couple months off and this wasn't going to wait. I was going to get my girl back, starting tonight. "Can you get someone to cover my OT tonight, Mad?"

"Sure thing. You got something to do?" She grinned at me.

"Oh yeah."

I called home on my lunch break, wanting to make sure that Cassie didn't make plans with one of her friends or something tonight. It wouldn't do me any good to show up with all kinds of romantic stuff and her not be home, right?

"Hey baby," I begin, "I've got a surprise for you."

"Really? What is it?"

I can hear some motor in the background. "What's that noise?"

"Oh, the mixer I'm making a cake," she explains. "What's the surprise?"

"Well, I can't tell you everything, 'cause that would ruin it, but I did want you to know that I gave away my OT, so I'll be home by six. Then I am all yours the rest of tonight and tomorrow too. Anything you want."

"Anything?" The playfulness in her voice made my heart skip a beat. Maybe it wasn't too late.

"Anything." I said emphatically. "I can take you out to that seafood restaurant you like, and then maybe out dancing. You decide."

"I'll have to think about it. I was going to try a new recipe?" her voice trails off.

I refused to read anything negative into her hesitance, "Okay, baby. Whatever you want. I'll be home soon. Love you."

After work, I stopped by the flower shop and bought a dozen roses and all the sunflowers they had in the store. Sunflowers are Cassie's favorite. Next, I picked up two bottles of expensive wine; one red, one white, since I didn't know what was for dinner. I wanted the gesture to be simple but sincere and then I would spend the rest of the evening reminding her just how much electricity was still between us. I had images of sharing a bubble bath and sipping wine together after dinner. It would be perfect. I smiled to myself as I pulled into the driveway, supremely confident in my plans.

Juggling the armload of flowers and wine as I get to the front door, I find the screen door locked. That's unusual, but maybe she had the door open to let in a breeze earlier and forgot it was locked, I figure. I ring the doorbell. Nothing. I ring it again and follow it up with a rap on the door. "Cass? Can you open up?"

After a few moments, I can hear her coming to the door. "Just a minute." She says impatiently, as though she's talking to some solicitor or something. The door opens and she is standing on the other side of the screen door wearing a long white silk robe that I have never seen before. Her hair is wrapped up in a white towel. Her skin is still flushed pink from the hot shower, and a vision flashes in my mind of licking the drops of water from her smooth skin. I shudder with the thought.

Her eyes drop to the gifts in my arms and for a second I see a warm glow in her eyes. The hint of a smile touches the corner of her mouth. She takes a deep breath and a neutral mask slides over her features.

"I take it you're the delivery woman?" An eyebrow arches toward her hairline while she regards me seriously. She rests a hand on her hip waiting for my answer. I open my mouth to ask what she's talking about, but her other hand steals inside the vee of the robe on her chest and begins rubbing. Her eyes fix me with a smoldering stare instructing me to remain silent through some kind of telepathy. I have no idea what is going on. I swallow audibly and wait.

Cassie reaches unlocks the screen door and holds it open for me to enter. "You may place the flowers and the wine on the table there," she indicates the coffee table in front of the couch. The house smells wonderfully of a combination of steak, my favorite lobster risotto and the lingering sweetness of the cake, making my mouth water and stomach rumble. Damn, this woman can cook.

"The bathroom is through that door way across the hall," she points to the guest bathroom. Now I'm really getting confused.

"Cass, what-" In a blink she is standing inches in front of me. The expression on her face is stern, but her eyes are still warm. She places a finger tip on my lips.

"I apologize for not setting the ground rules sooner." She smiles seductively. Her eyes rake over my body as she speaks. "You are quite beautiful. I imagine you must do very well for yourself in the way of?" She drags her eyes back up to meet mine, "?tips." The finger that rested on my mouth slides down to tease a nipple through my shirt. "However, you must not speak unless spoken to. And you will address me only as Mistress. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I whisper, the clean scent of her skin is registering deep inside me. Instinctively, I reach out to touch her but she steps back quickly.

"Ah, ah, rule number two. No touching without permission." My hand drops back to my side. "Now, I trust that I am your last delivery of the evening, hmm?" She lifts the key ring out of my hand and drops it on the stand in the foyer as she moves toward the kitchen. "Go shower while I finish preparing dinner. I'll bring clothes for you."

Now, I may be a little bit slow, but I'm thinking that tonight is going to turn out to be better than I imagined. I glance over my shoulder on the way to the bathroom. She has pulled the towel from her head, finger combing the damp strawberry blond curls that cascade over her shoulders. Wow. Whatever this game is, I am so ready.

When I get out of the shower, a note is on the counter next to a bottle of my cologne and other toiletry items. It reads: Your clothes are in the bedroom at the end of the hall. Once there, I find only a pair of black leather pants and a white sleeveless t-shirt. Both fit me like second skin. I smile, remembering one night several years ago when Cassie said she thought I would look sexy in leather pants. Then I remembered the rest of the conversation that night.

We were watching some HBO reality sex show and it was about role playing and BDSM. I asked her what she thought of that. She said she wasn't at all interested in receiving or inflicting pain (nor was I), but that the role playing thing might be fun. Suddenly it hit me. What an idiot I am! That note didn't mean she wanted to cheat on me. She was thinking about a scene. I shook my head at my reflection in the mirror.

I checked my look one last time, hoping it would meet with my mistress' approval and stepped out into a house I hardly recognized. Groups of candles flickered almost everywhere, providing the only light in the rooms. Soft music floated through the air. The dining room table was beautifully set with our good dishes and two candelabra's were center stage. The red wine I bought was open and two plates of steaming food were placed precisely in the center of each placemat.

"Would you be a dear and pour the wine?" I turned at the sound of her voice and my heart stopped. She was wearing a skin tight black leather body suit. It was sleeveless and from her shoulders, the vee cut in the front that barely contained her full breasts stopped just above her navel. She had kept her hair down the way I like it, flowing like spun gold around her face. As my eyes feasted appreciatively on her beauty, I saw the satisfied gleam in her eyes as she took in my outfit as well. I felt my pulse kicking up several notches watching her glide toward me.

She placed her palm in the center of my chest and rubbed slowly across each breast, bringing my nipples to rigid attention. "My, don't you look good enough to eat?" Her honey-smooth voice was an aphrodisiac. I sucked in a breath fighting the urge to touch her. Goddess, I wanted to. Don't ask me how I survived dinner, I actually have no recollection. I couldn't stop staring at her.

After dinner, she took my hand and drew me into the living room. The warm glow of candlelight and the soft romantic melodies enveloped us as she slipped into my arms and we began to dance slowly. We moved as one, molded together perfectly. The sensation of her center resting on my right thigh and her breath on my neck as we danced was powerfully erotic. It took all of my control to keep my hands on her waist as she directed. Several dances later, she stepped back.

"Time for desert." She drew me into the bedroom that was also aglow with candles. At the foot of the bed was a tray covered with a white cloth and a magnum of champagne resting in a bucket of ice. "Please sit." She instructed and I complied. She picked up a white bandana and circled behind me to secure it over my eyes.

I was now in complete darkness. I felt her move away and missed her warmth immediately. She recognized my tension and whispered in my ear, "Let the rest of your senses take over, baby. Relax. Trust me to give you pleasure." I jumped when she closed her mouth over my right nipple, biting down on it through the cotton shirt. When I grabbed the back of her head, she lightly slapped my hand away. Her lips were once again at my ear, but this time her voice was stern, "You broke a rule. For that, you will be punished."

I was going to apologize, but I realized that I would be breaking the first rule because she hadn't given me permission to speak. So I sat there in my darkness with my skin tingling with arousal, waiting for whatever was coming. I heard her pouring the champagne and doing some other things. She moved around the bed, drawing down the sheets, I think. Each time she walked past me she stopped to bite one nipple or the other and I bit back a moan.

I was a little disoriented and she helped me up onto the pillows. She grasped the bottom edge of my shirt and pulled it off over my head. "You won't need this anymore." She chuckled before instructing, "Lie down." She pulled an arm to the side and above my head. Then she slipped a leather restraint around my wrist and buckled it, before repeating it with the other wrist. Now I couldn't touch her. And I couldn't free myself. The feeling of helplessness was frightening and exciting simultaneously. "Do not move."

I felt her move off the bed. The cool air from the air conditioning vent blew across my bare torso, chilling me slightly. "Open wide," she told me. I opened my mouth and she fed me a chocolate dipped strawberry, licking up the juices that ran down my chin and neck. I heard the sound of some kind of liquid shaking. Then came the unmistakable aerosol sound of whipped cream squirting from a can. The cold brought a cry of surprise from my throat as it hit my nipples and stomach. The mistress vigorously cleaned the areas with her tongue.

My consciousness melted into intense feeling and exquisite pleasures and I began to writhe and pull against the restraints as she alternated various techniques. The feather with the edible powder topped it off. My arousal was reaching a level that I had never known. My entire body was building towards climax; every inch of me was involved. Feeling in my dark world of pleasure. When I felt her near my lower body, I arched my back and moved my legs toward her.

"Okay. That's all of that." She said coolly. Next I felt her work open the button on the pants and slide the zipper down. "Lift your hips." She pulled the pants over my hips and off of my legs, baring me completely. Immediately she efficiently secured both ankles in leather restraints as well. Now I was completely immobilized. Completely at her mercy. A fresh surge of adrenaline shot through my body and I reached yet another new plateau of arousal.

She dragged some kind of tool with a bunch of leather straps along my legs lightly, dipping into my crotch and then continuing up my torso to tease my breasts. Then she reversed and dragged it back down my body. Suddenly, I felt something thin and hard slid along my slit when she tilted it and I felt the straps brush my thigh, I realized she had pressed the handle between my legs. I could feel my wetness flowing from my center. I needed her inside me. My sex was throbbing with need. She moved away and finally a moan did escape my throat.

I had no idea where she was and I panicked slightly in the silent darkness, my body still vibrating with need. "Baby?" It was a plea more than a question. I strained to hear her. Every cell in my body was screaming for release. She didn't keep me waiting long. Suddenly I felt her move between my legs. Her hands lifted my hips to take me between her lips. Her tongue slipped into the slick wetness and lapped at my juices. I cried out at the sheer pleasure streaking through my body to coalesce in a single point of ecstasy.

She sucked my clit into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it. The sensation was making me delirious. I thought fleetingly that I may actually go mad. I felt myself rocketing skyward through blackness as she relentlessly pushed me to the ultimate orgasm. Screaming out Cassie's name, I came harder than I had ever thought possible and I kept coming as wave after wave crashed through me. From the edge of oblivion I was aware of Cassie crying out as she came with me.

As I stilled, she moved to release the restraints. When I could breathe, I called her. "Cass?"

She slid alongside of me. "Yes Tory."

"I love you so completely." Tears streamed down my cheeks.

"I know." She kissed me deeply and I wrapped her in a tight embrace. We drifted into blissful slumber entwined with each other.

I woke sometime during the night, feeling Cassie stir against me. I shifted a leg between hers and applied slight pressure, eliciting a groan from the beauty resting on my chest.

She raised her head to look into my eyes dreamily. "You're reading my mind again." She grinned.

"Yeah, but I'm just getting to the really good parts?"

The End