This is an alternative tale. There are some scenes of women loving women. Be forewarned that it is just shy of being graphic. If you are under 18 or if this is illegal where you live, please move on.

Contact me at madoka_e@hotmail.com.

When I first saw her, I knew she would change my life. But I never guessed in what direction our lives would take. And I really never guessed I would fall in love with her, or she with me. Me, a farm girl from Potidaea.

O.k., O.k., I know I'm not just a farm girl anymore. I'm a bard and an Amazon princess. I still can't compare to Xena, Warrior Princess. But then who can.

What this story is really about is not the night Xena and I met, but why we finally admitted our true feelings for one another. Now that is a tale.

It all started about two years after we met. It was a beautiful crisp fall day. Beautiful, that is, if you were not on a boat.

"Tell me again how you talked me into getting on another boat, Xena" I asked incredulously.

"It's simple, Gabrielle. This is the fastest way to Agnos's town. The faster we reach the town, the faster we can help Agnos and be on our way. Agnos helped me out when I needed it, I feel that I owe it to him to be there." Xena sighed. Placing her hand on my back, Xena looked down into my eyes. "I know you hate boats. Just keep using that pressure point I showed you. I'm going to check things out."

Xena went in search of the captain. I decided to sit out of the way for a while. I managed to settle my stomach despite the strong, salty air. I leaned against a barrel, listening to the sailors calling out to each other. I guess the pressure point worked because next thing I knew, Xena was caressing my face. "Hey, wake up sleepy head" Xena said playfully. "We are here."

"Thank the Gods" I said with fervor.

We had already settled the bill, so we departed as soon as the plank was lowered.

"Land" I said happily. Xena smiled down at me as I bent down and kissed the sand.

'It wasn't that bad, was it" asked Xena anxiously.

"No," I said as I smiled at her reassuringly after wiping the sand from my face. Xena was always so concerned about me. It made me happy to feel her regard for my well-being.

We walked up the wooded path to the village while I regaled Xena with one of my newest tales. She was happy to hear that the tale was not about her, but about a legend I had heard mentioned in the last village.

When we entered the small town, we followed our usual routine. Xena went to check out the town and arrange to meet her friend, while I found an Inn and got us a room. Xena trusted me in this, because I no longer liked the Inns and Taverns with atmosphere. There were only two inns in a town this small. I easily eliminated the first one I saw; it was falling apart as well as being loud and riotous. It was a perfect example of too much atmosphere! The second Inn I came to after a quick walk through town was a good sized wooden building with a tavern on the main floor and rooms above. This much and the fact that it was clean and well taken care of was obvious when I walked through the door.

"Hello, may I help you?" A middle aged portly man said from the bar. He was polishing glasses.

"Yes, I'd like a room with a bath." I stopped and smelled the wonderful aroma coming from the kitchen. "And 2 dinners."

The man who introduced himself as Tomas, the innkeeper, smiled and named a price. The price was fairly reasonable, but I like to bargain so I began to haggle with him. By the time Xena found the Inn, I had gotten the price down to where we were both satisfied.

"Are we all set" Xena asked quietly from directly behind me as her breath caressed my neck. I unconsciously shivered at the contact.

"Yes" I said. We got our things settled into the room, and hurried back downstairs for dinner.

"When is your friend meeting us?" I asked Xena as I mopped up some of my stew with a crustily bread slice.

"I'm to meet him tonight at the other tavern. I shouldn't be long." Xena said firmly. She knew I hated to be left behind.

"Xena, I'm going too. You need someone to watch your back."

"No, your not. Look, Agnos leads a quiet life now. Not like when I knew him. But he still knows people I'd rather you not get mixed up with."

"Xena, I'm not a child" I said through clinched teeth. "I can take can of myself."

"That's not the point." Xena hissed.

"Then what is?" I said with a raised voice.

"I don't want to have to worry about you. I just want to find out what the problem is, fix it, and go. The sooner this is over the better." Xena's eyes bore into me. "I'll be back before you have a chance to notice." Xena said as she touched my hand. Then she took the last bite of her stew and stood up. "See you soon." She brushed my hair lightly as an apology, then walked out of the inn.

I sighed as I contemplated an evening alone. Xena knew I could handle myself with the staff, but she still tried to shelter me from some situations. As much as she hated to be confronted with her nefarious past, she hated me to see certain sides of it even more. Even though Agnos was a friend of Xena's, he still served as a reminder. I understood her reasoning, but it still made me angry.

"That was quite a sigh." said a melodious voice from above me. I looked up into beautiful green eyes belonging to a woman who looked to be a few years older than myself. She was dressed in a short brown suede outfit with a quiver of arrows strapped to her back. Her red highlighted-brown hair was pulled off her shoulders and fastened with a clasp at the nape of her neck. She was taller than me, but not as tall as Xena, I noticed as I stood up. She had a beautiful face. Her large green eyes were looking at me in such a way, I blushed.

"No need to get up," she said indicated my unfinished meal. She sat across from me. I sat down not knowing quite what to expect.

"I'm Antonia." she said.

"Hi, I'm Gabrielle. Why are you dressed like Athena?" I asked bluntly, then blushed. I hadn't intended to ask in so forth righteous a manner.

"You blush well, Gabrielle." she said as she leaned closer to me. "There is a costume party down at the old barn. Why don't you come with me. I'd hate to see a lovely woman sitting all alone on a beautiful night like this."

"Xena won't know where I've gone." I said while considering going. A party might but just the thing I needed.

"If your lover was so inconsiderate to leave you alone, well then..." Antonia let the sentence hang.

"Oh no, she is not my lover." I said quickly while wondering why I was so quick to dispel that thought.

"But I saw the way she touched you, the way she looked at you. Her feelings were written all over her face. You two have to be a couple. I don't mind if you are with someone else, we can still have some innocent fun. Although I'd prefer you to be single." She said seductively.

'Why" I said before I could close my mouth.

She laughed out loud. She had an infectious laugh. I found myself wanting to go to this party, if only to learn more about Antonia. She'd be someone I could be friends with, I thought to myself, discounting her statement and my blushes. "Oh, Gabrielle, you are a gem, aren't you. You can leave word with Tomas as to where we are going. Your friend can catch up with us, when she gets back."

I thought it over and decided that there was nothing that said I had to sit alone tonight. "O.K." I said decisively, "I'll go, it sounds like fun. Let me just finish my stew."

Then another thought occurred to me. The party was a costume party. I did not have a costume. When I expressed my reservation to Antonia, she looked me over carefully, making me blush again. (What was it about that woman and her eyes?)

"It's simple, Gabrielle. Go as an Amazon. With your little green top, short brown skirt, and large staff, you'd make a good Amazon."

"But I am an amazon." I said.

"Then it is perfect." Antonia said with a glint in her eye.

I quickly finished my stew while Antonia told me a little about herself. It turned out she, too, was from a small village. She took up with a trader and ended up in this village.

She laughed as she ran her fingers through her bangs. "When I left him, it was the best thing for me. I set up shop and I do moderately well. It's a good life, Gabrielle." She looked at Gabrielle thoughtfully. "Do you ever get tired of the road?"

"Sometimes, a little. But then Xena and I get caught up in an adventure. I don't know how she does it, but Xena always manages to find a solution to any situation."

"You feel a great deal for Xena, don't you?"

"Yes"

"Are you sure you two are just friends?" Antonia asked.

"Yes" I said in exasperation.

"Good"

I told Tomas where Antonia and I were going and we set off. The walk to the barn was quiet. Antonia and I walked at an easy pace while I went over in my mind our earlier conversation. Was there really something to Xena's frequent caresses? No, there couldn't be. Although I found them very pleasurable... what was I thinking? Antonia interrupted my thoughts and I realized that I had shivered in the fall night air.

"Are you cold? Here," she said without waiting for an answer. Suddenly I found myself under her arm. When I didn't resist, she pulled me a bit tighter. "Is that better?"

"Yes" I said with some surprise. Could I have feelings for Antonia, or Xena? My confused thoughts were interrupted by the sound of music. We could hear the upbeat music from across the commons.

"Do you dance, Gabrielle?"

"I'm an Amazon." I said proudly with a lift of my chin. "Amazons love to dance."

We entered the large barn. Off to the right were the musicians. Off to the left was a refreshment table manned by two bulky looking guys who probably doubled as the bouncers. In the center was about thirty gyrating bodies. I looked closely at the dancers. All were in some kind of costume ranging from the cute to the weird. There were men and women dancing in every combination.

"Gabrielle, I am sure you will have more than enough offers to dance tonight. There are many eligible partners." Antonia's hand swept past many attractive young men, and I was surprised to notice, many attractive women, too. "I only ask for the honor of the first dance with you."

'That sounds nice." I said truthfully. Her arm had felt good around my shoulder.

The first song was a fast one. Antonia and I found a rhythm and moved together. It was amazing. Her body moved with mine in time with the beat. It felt more natural than the clumsy dances with the boys back home or the men I met out on the road. Is this a sample of what I had been missing?

I found myself dancing to several more up tempo songs with Antonia, until a young man cut in. Antonia danced with another lady, to the up beat song. Abruptly, the music ended and they started to play a slow song. I found myself in the arms of the young man, as we clumsily made our way across the floor. I shot a helpless look to Antonia. She quickly left her dance partner and walked up to us. She tapped him on the shoulder saying, "The lady promised me all slow dances." The man stepped away with a flushed face.

'Thank you, but you don't have to dance with me if you do not want too."

"I'm game, if you are." Antonia said as she held out her arms. With a nod I stepped into her embrace, her boding sliding with mine to the music. She took one hand and ran it under and though the hair that fell against my neck. I leaned my face into her hair and inhaled the fresh scent of herbs. I shivered again, but not from the cold this time.

When the song ended, we stopped moving and just looked at each other. She broke the mood with a smile and said, "I think I worked up a thirst, what about you."

"A drink sounds good." I surprised myself with the husky tone of my voice. Yes, a drink would definitely be a good idea, I thought to myself as we walked over to the refreshment table.

"I'll have a cider and what would you like, Gabrielle?"

"Make it two."

After we had gotten our drinks, Antonia suggested we go out to one of the many bales of hay sitting outside the barn. I agreed, as it was very hot in the barn.

We found a comfortable hay bale and sat down. "Tell me more about your childhood." Antonia said to start the conversation. As we talked, we found a surprising amount of experiences in common.

"I grew up in a small farming village." said Antonia as I slowly sipped my cider. "I always felt differently than my older brother and sister. My younger sister is quite a bit like me. She, unlike me, learned ways around being different. Challis is now a respected healer back home."

"I never felt like I fit in either. My sister Lila and my parents were always exasperated by my dreams of adventure and my goal of being a bard. But I had all these stories in me. I had to express them or I would have gone crazy."

"Gabrielle, are you uncomfortable? You keep shifting on that bale."

"It's itchy." I said in embarrassment. My short skirt did not cover the hay.

"Why don't we walk a little?" Antonia asked as she stretched up. "I know a path that will take us to a clearing not far from here. It has a small pond and the site is pretty when the moon is full like it is now."

"Sounds great." I said while standing up and brushing the straw off. I grabbed our drinks and left them inside. I was in a hurry be off with Antonia.

We walked quietly for a while. It was a comfortable silence, the night filled with sounds of crickets, an occasional owl, and the smell of fallen leaves. Antonia was the first to break the silence.

"How did you learn to read? It is unusual for a village girl to have that knowledge?" Antonia asked.

"We had a village elder who could read. She took a liking to me. Said I was special. She taught me to read in exchange for doing chores for her. She said I'd appreciate it more and work harder to learn if the lessons were not given to me."

"Was she right?"

"Yes, even though I had a hunger to learn, it made it sweeter. She also encouraged me to write and tell my stories. I needed that encouragement because my father was so dead set against me being anything other than a farmer's wife. They betrothed me to Perdicas."

"Perdicas? Did you end up marrying him? How are you here, now?" Antonia asked, all of her attention focused on me.

"No, Xena came into my life. I really don't want to talk about Perdicas." I said determinedly. I still felt guilty for leaving him, even if he was dull.

"Tell me, how did you meet the trader?" I asked gently. I hoped I had not hurt Antonia's feelings with my last outburst.

"It was the wrong man at the right time. My parents and I had just gotten into one of our most heart wrenching arguments. Caleb had come into town because he had been set to on the road by bandits. My youngest sister was already training in the healing arts. She invited me to come to the infirmary the day he came into town. He was a sweet talker. He had broken his leg and it was a few days before he was fit to ride." Antonia looked at me to see if she had my attention as we walked.

"It gets a little tricky from here if you don't know the path." Antonia said. "Do you mind if I hold your hand?"

"No, no, that would be helpful." I had been wanting to touch her again. This seemed as good an excuse as any.

"Well, I rode out of town with him. It took me three towns and a season later to discover what a rogue he was. By that time I was confidant enough to go my own way. One morning I got up early and disappeared."

"Were you afraid he would find you?" I asked.

"I knew what direction his business was taking him." Antonia said with confidence. "I simply went the other way.

"Still, that must have taken courage." I said softly as I stopped momentarily to look into her deep green eyes.

"No more courage than hanging around with the Warrior Princess herself. I'm sure you have gotten into some dangerous situations."

"Xena always makes sure I'm safe." I said with emotion clouding my voice as the feeling of disappointment at being left behind washed over me. Antonia pulled at me to resume walking.

"Is that what that fight was about tonight." Antonia asked while rubbing my hand, gently.

"Yes, she treats me like a child. Can't she see that I am not the child who followed her from Podetia? I am a grown woman!"

"If she can't, I can." Antonia said in a whisper. It was then that we cleared the trees.

"Oh" I said in wonder. The clearing was every bit as beautiful as Antonia said. The moon illuminated a small pond. Surrounding the pond on three sides were trees of all sorts, some with fall foliage still clinging to the branches. The side of the pond facing us was clear of any vegetation, save long, soft grass. I sunk down into it gratefully, pulling Antonia down beside me.

"This is where I come to think, or when things get too crazy." Antonia said. "I've never shown it to anyone before you. I've never had the urge to. I like you, Gabrielle, very much. Even though we just met, I feel close to you."

"I feel the same way."

"Gabrielle, I have a question to ask you. I won't be offended if you say no."

"O.k." I said somewhat nervously.

"Can I kiss you?" She asked almost shyly, as she looked down at me.

I was startled. But what harm could one kiss cause. I felt very close to Antonia at that moment. "Yes, I think I would like that."

In one swift motion Antonia brought her face down to mine and kissed me. I stilled my lips for a moment, then responded with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. I brought one hand around her, drawing her closer. Tentatively, she opened her mouth as she drew one arm around me. I opened my mouth, too, and our dance of tongues made me feel weak. She moaned into my mouth. Reluctantly, we both pulled away.

"Wow" I said. Her mouth was so much softer that the boys I had kissed, and my arousal was much higher. What would it have been like if it was Xena I was kissing. Where did that thought come from?

"If we keep this up much longer, we might do something that we are not ready for." Antonia said breathlessly.

"I'm not sure I want to stop." I said and surprised us both. I longed for physical contact with someone. I was so lonely. Somehow, being with Xena made that loneliness more intense. I liked Antonia, more than any of the boys I had met. My body was churning with nervousness and liquid with desire. Desire won.

"I know I don't." Antonia said while leaning in to kiss me again. Somehow the kissing became more intense, as she gently pushed me down into the soft grass. She laid against my body, placing her leg between mine. As she held herself up with one hand, she untied the laces of my shirt. Soon my breasts were exposed to the cool night air. They did not have time to get cold, however, as Antonia took one and then the other into her mouth. I felt myself move against her leg. The friction was exquisite.

"Oh Xena." I moaned. In shock we both stilled our movements. I longed for Xena's mouth and body to be on mine. Gods, what was wrong with me tonight. Get a grip Gabrielle.

"Antonia, I'm so sorry." I said with in a breathy voice. "I didn't mean to-" Antonia put her fingers on my lips.

" It's O.K." Antonia looked into my eyes with a tender expression. "You are in love with Xena, aren't you?"

I quickly laced up my shirt with shaking fingers. I got up and started pacing, waving my hands as I do when upset. "That's just it. I don't know. I have never really thought about it before. I love her, sure. That's easy. But thinking of her as a lover. Maybe. Oh Gods."

"Take it easy, Gabrielle. Here, sit down." Antonia caught one of my hands and pulled it towards her reclining form. "Now, let's go one step at a time. Make a list defining what you feel for Xena. What do you love about her? Maybe that will help."

"O.K." I said while settling down across from Antonia. I looked out across the water to collect my thoughts. " I love it when she listens to my stories, and gets really involved. I love the way she cares so much for others suffering, I can see that in her blue eyes. I love it that she always thinks of me, even in the heat of battle. I love it that she can be so strong, yet turns around to be a gentle healer. I love it when she is in a fun mood and we laugh about everything. I love it when I am upset and she holds me. She takes all the hurt away. I don't know how she does that." I looked at Antonia in astonishment.

"When she touches you, how do you feel?" Antonia prompted gently.

"Sometimes nervous, like butterflies in my stomach, sometimes like Zeus's bolt has gone through me, and sometimes safe and warm, complete."

"Do you still doubt that you are in love with Xena?"

"No," I said while looking down. "I'm sorry Antonia. I did not think our evening would end up in discussion about Xena."

"Gabrielle, It's O.K. I understand. I still want to be your friend. You are very special. Now," Antonia said in a chipper tone as she stood and brushed herself off. "What are you going to do about you and Xena?"

"I don't know. Do you really think Xena feels the same for me?" I asked while standing up and walking with Antonia out of the clearing.

"Yes, and I will tell you what, if Xena is busy again tomorrow, why don't you and I meet for a picnic around noon. I can leave my booth for a candle mark or two. We can discuss strategy then."

"Sounds Good. Why don't you walk me back to the inn and we can call it a night." I said in agreement.

The walk back to the inn was quiet. I found myself wondering how it would feel to kiss Xena. Antonia interrupted my thoughts.

"Well, we are here," Antonia said stating the obvious. "Good night Gabrielle."

"Good night Antonia," I said and pulled her into a brief hug. "I'm sorry again about tonight."

I walked into the inn in a pensive mood. I walked quickly up the stairs to Xena and my room. I crept in to the room as soundlessly as possible.

"Good evening, Gabrielle. Have a good time?" Xena asked with an arch of one eyebrow. I jumped.

"Yes, thank you" I answer perhaps a bit too quickly. "What happened at your meeting?"

"Agnos is having some trouble with one of his suppliers. I simply need to remind them that if Agnos is treated unfairly, I will be very upset. A couple of days is all I'll need, then we can go get Argo." she said while gracefully unwinding her tall, lanky frame from the bed. I notice she was already in her shift. By the gods, she was beautiful. I imagined how her mouth would feel pressed against mine.

"Gabrielle, are you O.k.?" Xena asked. "Your eyes looked a little unfocused and you looked flushed. Do you have a fever.?"

Xena place a hand of my forehead. I unconsciously leaned into her touch.

"You're swaying on your feet. Here, come sit down." Xena indicated the bed. As soon as I sat down, she started removing my boots.

"I'm fine," I said. "I just over did it. You know, the long hike to get here, then a dance. I just need a good night's sleep." I stood up and went to our bags, reaching in and lifting out a shift. I undressed quickly. As I put the shift over my head, I turned around. I could not see Xena's face, but her indrawn breath left me wondering. Was Antonia right about Xena's feelings?

"You are awfully quiet tonight, Gabrielle. Did you meet someone at this dance?" Xena said with fear in her voice that I probably would not have pick up on a day ago. Now I was listening and watching Xena's reactions carefully. I did not want to mistake Xena's feelings. Then a thought, like an icy feeling of dread, ran down my spine. What if, when I tell Xena that I am in love with her, she is repulsed by me? What if she wants me to leave? I realized that without Xena my life would be empty. I feared messing up our incredible friendship by making it something it was not. Tears started to fill my eyes at the thought.

"Gabrielle" Xena said and pulled me into an embrace, rocking me gently while making soothing sounds. "What is it?"

I pulled myself together and managed to stop crying. I pulled away from Xena's embrace so I could look into her eyes. The love and tenderness was very evident. Was I mistaking those feelings?

Xena tenderly wiped a teardrop from my face. Looking up at her, I thought about kissing her, but my nerve deserted me. "Really, I am just tired. You know I can sometimes get teary when I get tired. It's no big deal. Let's just get some sleep."

Xena reluctantly agreed. When we were lying in bed with both of us facing the wall, Xena said quietly, "You know you can tell me anything."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I said gently.

Xena sighed. Then she put her arm around me and drew me close. As we started to drift off to sleep, I wished that I could run my fingers down her face. I wanted to touch her red lips, her soft black hair, her breasts. She was so close. I could feel her breasts pressing into my back. I realized all the feelings I got when ever we touched was love and desire. I had been denying my feelings out of fear. Antonia had awakened thoughts and feelings. For better or for worse, I was going to have to deal with them, now. What feelings had been with Antonia a little candle, had the potential with Xena to be an inferno. The feelings were so overwhelming, that they could easily consume me.

My mind drifted for a few moments in indecision. No, I thought, I will have to let Xena know how I feel. I couldn't hide my feelings for much longer. They were just too strong. The decision made, I snuggled close to Xena and went to sleep.

Chapter II

When I awoke that next morning, I could tell by the lack of warmth on Xena's side of the bed, that Xena had been gone for some time. I stretched, feeling the softness of the sheets. It was tempting to go back to sleep, for it was so rare to be able to sleep in on the road. However, the position of the sun streaming in through the window told me I had slept in already.

When I got up I noticed a tray on the small table in the center of the room. The small wooden table held a tray full of fruit, bread, cheese, and a note.

"Gabrielle, I hope you are feeling better, today. If not, take it easy. There is no reason for you to have to over extend yourself today. However, if you do get antsy for something to do, this town sports a good market. I'll be gone until well after midday.

Xena"

"Shopping" I said with a glint in my eye. I quickly finished breakfast, washed up and put my clothes on. With a happy air I preceded to the market.

The market was bustling. I gripped my staff firmly as I snaked my way through the crowd. 'Let's see." I thought, 'We need a few provisions, I'm running out of scrolls, and who knows what else I will find.'

After bargaining for a quarter candle mark for provisions against a very shrewd old lady and examining various treasures for sale in other booths, I made my way towards what looked like a parchment stall.

"Gabrielle, I knew eventually you would find my shop. A working bard always needs scrolls." said Antonia happily.

"Antonia, it's great to see you."

"Have you eaten your midday meal? We have that planing to do." Besides, I'm starved and my assistant can take over for a while." She indicated a shy young man standing behind her.

"No, that sound's great." I said.

"Good. Alex, please watch the wares until I return. I should be back in a couple of candle marks."

"Yes, Ma'am." Alex said quietly.

"I know just the food booth to hit, then we can have a picnic in a glade on the edge of town. It is quieter there." Antonia said as she place her arm around my shoulders.

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

We wound our way past many shops before stopping at a food vendor. The smells were incredible. My stomach rumbled in anticipation.

"We'll eat soon. I promise." Said Antonia with a laugh.

We got our meal and were headed out of town when we ran right into Xena, literally.

'Oh Hades' I thought when I saw Xena's expression of hurt and anger. She had noticed Antonia's body wrapped around mine to prevent our fall. Antonia kept her body against mine for a moment too long. Xena's eyes narrowed. I'm sure she also noticed that I wasn't objecting to Antonia's touch.

"Hello Gabrielle. Do you want to introduce me to your friend." The slight emphases on the word friend was not lost on Antonia , nor I.

"Xena, this is Antonia. Antonia, Xena." I said while stepping out from under Antonia's arm that had still been in place firmly resting on my shoulders.

"I was not aware that you had friends in this town." Xena's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"She didn't until last night. I took Gabrielle to the gathering last night. She is a most charming companion." Said Antonia while stepping closer to me and running her hand up and down my back.

Xena was fuming at this point. I did not know what to do. I looked from one woman to the other, for once at a lost of words.

"Well, I finished up a little early and thought we might have a meal together. Since you have plans, I will be in our room if you need me, Gabrielle." Xena walked away. The hurt and jealousy written in her stiff movements more clearly that the mask she had assumed by the end of our conversation.

"Antonia, why did you do that?" I asked in disbelief as I turned around to look her in the eye.

"Gabrielle, I like you very much. I feel like we are friends and as your friend I took a chance when I saw Xena to push the issue a bit. If you try to tell me one more time that Xena is not hopelessly in love with you, I will have to call you a liar, Gabrielle. Go to her now. The love that is evident when you and Xena are together happens once in a life time."

"Antonia, thank you." I said with relief.

She smiled and leaned down for one final kiss. "That is to remember me by. You are an extraordinary woman, Gabrielle. If you ever need a friend, you know where I'll be. Now go" she said commandingly.

Chapter III

I raced back to the room, afraid to see Xena packing. Instead, I interrupted Xena's pacing back and forth.

"Hi Gabrielle" Xena said in a strained voice.

"Hi, Xena. We need to talk."

Xena's eyes got teary and her face took on the hurt look that tears me up inside.

"It's O.k. You want to go with Antonia, right? I understand. If I had only known before that you could feel that way about women, I would have..." Xena looked at me, then resumed her pacing.

"Would have what, Xena," I said in a soft voice as I walked over to her and placed my hands on her arms to halt her progress through the room.

"Never mind." Said Xena shortly, as she twisted away from my grasp.

Xena looked away before she could see the hurt and love in my eyes. "Xena, look at me. I am not going anywhere that you are not. I need you in my life, not Antonia. Antonia is just a friend. Although, she has helped me in one regard that you failed to do. She helped me to recognize what had been missing from our relationship."

Xena spun back around and looked at me. Her beautiful tear stained blue eyes pierced through me. "Shhh." I said while wiping the tears off her face. "I'm in love you. You are the other half of my soul. And I want you. I want you to touch me so much. But I'm terrified that it is going to change our relationship."

"Oh, it is going to change our relationship, alright." Said Xena with a determined air. Xena took me in her arms and leaned down, placing her lips softly on mine. My arms encircled her. Time stopped in that moment. I felt her lips and body press mine, all soft skin and leather, and hard armor. I could smell the combination of leather and herbs that made up Xena's wonderful scent. When she slowly opened her mouth, I taste her, my tongue encircling her's in an ever increasing pace. The fear that had gripped us a moment ago fueled our passion.

My desire was a raging river, threatening to pull me under. I molded myself as close to Xena's body as possible. I could not seem to get enough contact.

"Xena," I said in between kisses, "Your armor has got to go."

"Yes." Xena removed her armor in haste. "Gabrielle, that top has got to go."

"Yes, you are right." I tried to removed my green top, but my fingers were shaking too much. Xena took over. brushing my already erect nipples in the process, eliciting a low moan from me.

"Ohhhh" said Xena as she leaned down and sucked a nipple into her mouth. My desire shot from my breast down to my center. I was growing wet with passion. I wanted my mouth to be everywhere. I reached down and pulled her face back to mine. Her tongue ran over my lips. I moaned and started to fall. Xena's strong arms held mine and as one, we started to walk towards the bed. Xena's knees hit the bed first. Abruptly, she sat down.

"Xena" I said as I pulled on one of the straps to her leathers. At my request, she stood once more and pulled her leathers off. Standing just in her shift, her mouth once again met mine as one hand came up to remove my skirt, the other hand caressed my breast. Xena then grasped around me, placing my length upon her as she fell back against the bed.

"Gabrielle," Xena said suddenly, "Are you sure. I love you and want you very much, but if you are not ready, we can wait. I want to spent my life with you."

"Xena, I need to feel you. I've never been surer of anything. Nothing would make me happier than to have you in my life as my lover as well as my friend. Now please stop worrying and kiss me again."

Xena growled hungrily in response as she grabbed my head and brought my lips to hers.

I once again melted into the contact. My body felt like it was melting into liquid fire. Xena moaned and it was all I could do not to rip her shift off of her.

"Gabrielle, sit up," Xena instructed gently. She sat up with me pulling her shift off as she went. I pushed her back down on the bed. I pressed my mouth to hers as one hand went to her breast.

"Oh Gods," I groaned and kissed her again. "I knew it would be like this,"

Xena gently let me explore her body. I learned what pleased her and how that flamed my desire. Xena's loving me was nothing short of miraculous. Our cries of passion split the night's silence again and again. I learned that I could indeed love women, and did love Xena more than my own life. I look back to my meeting with Antonia and smile. She showed me what was in front of me. I will always thank the gods for that.