A/N: I hope that my first attempt at an original romance story works. It was a story that got caught in my head during my commute home from work. I realized after my final re-read that my two ladies love the grape but they are obsessed about the drink. Hopefully it does not offend anyone. Thanks to my beta, Lenara. Feedback is welcome and appreciated, mapsnika1@yahoo.com.
The minister smiled brightly at the couple that stood before him. He looked over the congregation of fashionably dressed individuals who were also smiling brightly. The minister was just beginning his speech about the honor of love and devotion before the couples were to recite their vows to each other.
As the minister talked about love, devotion and the sacredness of commitment, Lisa remembering how much he loved to talk found herself daydreaming about the circumstances that brought her to this moment and her first marriage.
.......several years ago
Both set of parents were beaming with pride, happy that this day had finally come, that their children had finally settled down. Lisa's parents were just happy their daughter was not going to be single and alone and Jim's parents were glad he was finally settling down and hoped that Lisa would tame his wild streak.
After the kiss, Jim was doing a happy dance in his head and crowing, 'Oh yeah! I'm the man. Look at me and the hot babe I married.'
'Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!' Lisa screamed in her head as she plastered a stiff grin on her face after Jim's sloppy wet kiss.
The reception was a blur to Lisa. She remembered cutting the cake, drinking, dancing, drinking, tossing the bouquet, more drinking and changing out of her gown as she was drinking; she had rid herself of her shoes hours before. She kissed goodnight to all of the aunts and uncles, cousins, her grandparents, parents and friends as she swayed back and forth walking out of the reception hall assisted by Jim.
Jim had promised Lisa a fantastic honeymoon later after he had nailed the promotion as director at the ad agency which he expected in the next few weeks after the current director retires. So she and Jim went back to the hotel room that was paid for by his parents for two nights. After closing the door to the room, Jim took Lisa into his arms and passionately kissed her. She wanted to return his kiss except for the throbbing in her head and the cha-cha going on in her stomach taking away any thought of passion. It was unfortunate that Jim in his own state of intoxication and sexual arousal did not notice that his new bride was quickly falling out of the mood and even more intoxicated than he was. Jim led her to the bed so she could get ready for their night together as husband and wife and excused himself to the bathroom to prepare himself for a night of passionate lovemaking.
He pranced out of the bathroom in his Zebra striped underwear that he purchased especially for tonight. He was stopped short when he approached the bed. He saw his bride lying on her back with her clothes dumped in a pile on the floor her head placed awkwardly on the pillow with her mouth gaping open with a dribble of drool running out, completely passed out. Still oblivious and hoping she was just resting her eyes; he crawled in bed besides her hoping that his romantic nuzzling of her neck would arouse her passion. As he kissed her neck, she turned her head towards his and began to snore, loudly. His senses were assaulted by the smell of stale alcohol and bad breath. He rose up on his elbow and looked at her in disbelief, then rolled over on his back staring at the ceiling and stated in a huff, "Shit!"
They soon got over their first few nights as a married couple and founds things settled down when they moved into their home where the couple was finally able to truly consummate their marriage. She explained their first night as a married couple was due to her exhaustion and the excitement about the wedding. She explained her lack luster performance the following night as the after effects of her hangover and her anxiety to begin their lives together. Luckily Lisa couldn't have elaborated on her excuses because she didn't have a better explanation and knew that Jim wouldn't ask for a better explanation.
They slid comfortably into their roles of marriage where days bled into weeks and weeks into months. Lisa found that she gained a new peer group that she never dreamed of socializing with before marrying Jim, the married couples. When they entertained, rarely was there a single person present at their parties or dinners unless they were being set up with another single person. Although she enjoyed the parties and dinners because it gave her an opportunity to cook, she didn't find any of the wives of Jim's colleagues people that she had much in common with.
"Jim!" Lisa screamed at her husband. "Why can't you call me first? You realize I have a job too! You do this all the time. Do you think food just miraculously appears on the table? When is this project manager going to be here?"
Jim walked over behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her on the neck. "Thanks huggy bear. Eight." He released her and walked to the bedroom to change. A few minutes later she heard the TV blaring something from ESPN.
"Aarrgh!" she yelled to no one. She secretly cursed the day her grandmother taught her to cook. She wanted to prepare something from a frozen bag in the freezer or create a yellow meal as her college friends use to call it: mac and cheese, fish sticks and frozen fries. She smiled at the thought of a yellow meal and her memories from college. She knew her pride in her cooking skills would not allow her to just slap any old thing together. She looked at the clock and estimated that she would have about 2 hours to create another masterpiece.
At 7:45pm, Lisa smiled in triumph. "Another masterpiece, no thanks to Jim," she said to herself. A few moments later she heard the door chime and Jim greeting their dinner guest. Being a gracious host, she cleaned off her hands and went out to meet their guest.
"Lisa, come meet Alicia, our new project manager," he yelled into the other room.
As she rounded the corner she was a bit miffed that Jim overlooked telling her that the new project manager was a woman. She rationalized that for a woman to reach that type of position on such a large project she had to have been around for a long time and earned the title of ball buster so she was expecting a spinster woman in her forties or fifties. As she approached the entryway where Jim and Alicia were standing, Lisa stopped dead in her tracks with her mouth gaping open.
Standing before her was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen in her life. She lost all ability to speak especially after she locked eyes with the most entrancing chocolate pools of brown eyes she had ever seen. Alicia found herself staring at Lisa as well. Jim looked between the two women and let out a nervous laugh which was loud enough to break Lisa from her trance.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners? Hi Alicia welcome, come in. Jim, get her a drink. Here have a seat on the couch. How are you?" Lisa rambled on nervously as she directed her to the living room.
"What's your poison?" Jim said stopping Lisa's rambling.
Smiling at Lisa and then at Jim she said, "I'll take a glass of wine, white preferably."
"I'm on it," Jim rushed to the kitchen to get the glass of wine. As an afterthought he yelled back to his wife, "Hon, is there any wine chilled, that's ok I found it. You want any?"
Lisa gave a strained smile to Alicia. "Yes please, thank you." It came out with more venom then she wanted. She looked at the woman sitting across from her and gave her a shy nervous smile. "So... Alicia when did you start working for the company? Jim never mentioned you. How long have you been a project manager?"
Alicia smiled brightly at Lisa causing her insides to turn to jelly and her cheeks to flush crimson. Her thoughts were flying so rapidly around her head that she really didn't hear her response to her questions. 'Why is this woman affecting me like this? I'm married for Christ sakes. God she's beautiful. That smile, those eyes...I don't think I can take it if she looks at me with those piercing eyes again.' They were just staring at each other both apparently not knowing what to say to the other.
"Hon...Hon here's your wine." Lisa was jarred from her thoughts that she almost knocked the glass out of his hand.
"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in," she said trying to cover up her day dreaming. She hoped that Alicia didn't notice her 6th grade geeky moment.
"So what have you girls been talking about? Swapping recipes?" Jim said with a sarcastic laugh.
Lisa could have sworn that she saw Alicia roll her eyes at Jim's comment. She couldn't hold back the chuckle from escaping as she tried to cover it up with a cough, glad that someone else noticed how much of an ass her husband could be.
Ignoring his comment and trying her best to ignore him she turned her attention back to Alicia. "Alicia, I hope Jim doesn't make these asinine comments to you at work?"
"No, he can be quite humorous when he wants to be. He has been helpful making me feel comfortable at work. You know introducing me to all the right people in the know at work." This last statement was added, not wanting to make Lisa feel suspicious. She realized that she was attracted to this woman and that she was married to the man that was her supervisor. She wondered why she couldn't have met this woman under different circumstances.
Jim was beaming having received a compliment from the woman. Lisa gave a smirk knowing that any flattery would swell his head.
"Alicia, I hope you brought your appetite." She smiled brightly at the captivating woman. "If everyone is ready to eat, let's adjourn to the dining room."
They rose and walked into the other room. Lisa trailed behind the others taking in the beauty of the 5' 7" woman. She now had the opportunity to really look at her. She was wearing a pair of name brand jeans that weren't too tight but accentuated every glorious curve of her hips and thighs. Her blouse moved with her as if she had orchestrated the air around her to move the shirt in all the right places, at the right moments. The beige color of her blouse brought out the brown in her eyes and was the perfect contrast to her tan skin. Her raven black hair hugged her shoulders, cascading down to her shoulder blades. And her walk...
Lisa knew she had better go to the kitchen before she started to drool. Now she felt more like a junior high school girl infatuated with the PE teacher. "I'll be right back with dinner." She rushed in the kitchen. Her first reaction was to dunk her head under the cold faucet when she heard the door to the kitchen open and was about to flash on her husband when she turned and saw her.
"I thought you might need a hand. I feel bad that you went through all this trouble for me. So what can I do?" Alicia said with a sincere smile.
Lisa just stared at her with a silly grin on her face. She found her feet were plastered to the floor and her tongue was locked to the roof of her mouth.
Alicia walked over to the shell shocked woman and gently placed her long slender fingers on her wrist which sent an electric shock throughout Lisa's entire body. Lisa took a sudden gulp of air and felt the heat rise on her face. Alicia smiled at the reaction she caused in her. "How 'bout I get the salad ready?" she said after spotting all the salad fixings on the counter.
"Uh...oh...yeah sure." The monosyllabic sentence was all she could manage. Lisa was fortunate that the meal was done except for putting the food in serving dishes, because at that moment a yellow meal would have been more than she could have accomplished.
Watching the woman's jittery movements and jumbled speech, Alicia got a sly smile on her face. She thought again to herself, 'Why couldn't I have met this woman under different circumstances.' Not knowing what to do or what was really going on with her she simply asked, "Lisa, do I make you nervous?"
Lisa swallowed hard trying to regain her composure before answering. She quickly started dishing up the meal to occupy her attention so not to stare at the woman. "Uh no. Sorry if I have been acting strange. Jim kinda caught me off guard. He never gives me any notice, always springing things on me. He never really thinks." She stopped speaking suddenly realizing she was saying more then she should about her husband. "I'm sorry I didn't really mean to vent. Thank you for your help, you really don't have..."
She was cut off by Alicia touching her hand, "Please don't thank me, and it's me who should thank you. Just moving to town, it's been ages since I had a home cooked meal. And besides, Jim said you are a wonderful cook."
"I hope you still think so after you taste it. I did have to throw something together fairly quickly."
"I'm sure it will be delicious," she said as she touched her shoulder and smiled with alluring eyes before turning to put the salad together.
'Is she flirting with me? There is that look again with those eyes.' She had the urge to reach up and touch those lips. 'Shake it off Lisa; think about what you're doing. She's a woman, remember? But oh what a woman...'
"We better get the food on the table before Jim starts bellowing," Lisa quickly stated. She gathered up several dishes and walked out to the dining room.
"Sure." Alicia picked up the remainder of the dishes and slowly followed her out to the table. 'Damn that woman is hot. And I think she's into me too. What am I thinking? She's my boss' wife. This is going to be a long dinner.' She sighed deeply in an effort to refocus her attention back to the dinner.
Dinner was a pleasant affair with polite conversation and small talk mostly generated by Jim.
"So Alicia, where did you live before coming here?" Lisa asked between bites of food.
She casually wiped her mouth on the linen napkin that was hidden on her lap capturing the full attention of both Jim and Lisa. Lisa followed the progression of the napkin as her delicate fingers picked it up gracefully from her lap and slowly wiped the edges of her lips and then replaced it.
"I'm originally from Cincinnati, Ohio. I moved to Los Angeles after college for the increased job opportunities until I came here. Who knew a job opportunity would bring me to northern California. Lisa what do you do?" She gave her a bright smile.
Lisa tried to swallow quickly caught off guard by the question directed at her. "I...umm...excuse me. Don't want to talk with my full of food." She brought her napkin up to wipe her mouth and it was Alicia's turn to be mesmerized by her movements. "I'm a social worker for Child Protective Services for the county. Long hours, too much work for too little money. Nothing real glamorous."
"Sounds like you do important work. Helping kids in bad situations. Sounds more important than convincing people to buy the latest brand of soap," she said with a soft laugh. "I'm sure you are very good at your job. Those are some lucky kids." Her comments received a genuine full smile from Lisa which warmed Alicia's heart.
Jim grunted and sarcastically said, "Some of those families she deals with would be better off if they had just got their tubes tied. I don't see how anybody could do that work. But I guess you gotta like it to do it."
Lisa glared at her husband thinking how insensitive he could be at times. He didn't catch the hint but Alicia did. To be safe, Alicia steered the conversation back to small talk such as the food, good restaurants, good movies they had seen, anything that wouldn't cause too strong of an opinion. Alicia hated that she may have caused any type of bad feelings between Jim and Lisa.
Alicia felt it best not to linger too long after dinner and knew it could be risky if she offered to stay and help clear the table. She felt horrible about not helping out especially when she thought about what her mother would say to her. So she came up with the excuse that she had a hectic day tomorrow and wanted to get an early start. She was fighting with herself because she had to somehow see Lisa again but knew she was not free to see her the way Alicia wished. But she could ask her to lunch to repay her for dinner, as friends of course. She hadn't had an opportunity to meet many people since she moved here; maybe she could be her friend. Rationalization was a wonderful thing. "So Lisa, you will have to let me take you out to lunch or dinner to repay you for such a wonderful dinner."
As Lisa and Jim walked her to the door, Lisa smiled brightly at the invitation. "That would be wonderful. There's a new Ethiopian restaurant I've wanted to try. You game."
"I love Ethiopian food! When would you like to go?"
"Lunch might work. I only work a half day on Friday or we can go this Saturday for a leisurely lunch and throw some shopping in the day." Lisa winked at Alicia as if to say 'watch this.' "Hey Jim you can come along to. You know I need to pick up a dress for that dinner party for your client next Thursday. You know if I get a new dress, I will have to get new shoes and ..."
"Hey, no need to let me intrude on your girls' day," he quickly stated not wanting to be dragged into shopping. "Besides, me and Tim were going to play golf anyway. Alicia I'm glad you could come over for dinner. I'm gonna leave you two to work out your lunch and shopping details. Have a safe drive home, see you tomorrow at the office."
"Thanks Jim, I really appreciate the invite. See you tomorrow." Jim waved goodbye and walked to the living room and clicked on the TV.
Alicia leaned against the door frame. "So where do you want to meet. If you like I could pick you up."
Lisa thought it best if she met her downtown. Having the comfort of other people around would be safer. Safer for who she couldn't decide. "You know I have several errands to run that morning, so it will be better if I just meet you there." She figured the little lie wouldn't hurt anyone besides she probably could find errands to run.
Trying to not sound disappointed, Alicia agreed to meet her at the restaurant. Actually really liking Ethiopian food and not a big fan of her own cooking, she had already been there several times. "Well goodnight. I really did enjoy myself." They stood there staring at each other awkwardly for several long moments in silence then Alicia leaned in to give Lisa a hug goodbye which she was grateful the gesture was not rejected although awkward as it was.
The hug only lasted a few moments but what glorious moments they were. As Alicia walked down the walkway Lisa yelled to her louder then necessary, "I was only kidding about needing to look for a new dress."
"Too bad, I was looking forward to helping you pick out the right dress." Alicia waved and got into her burgundy Ford Explorer.
Lisa felt her knees go weak and she had to brace herself against the door as she watched the SUV drive away.
As she walked back into the dining room to clean up the dinner dishes, her thoughts drifted back to the woman who captivated her attention this evening. She kept thinking how much more pleasant the evening would have been if Jim had gone for drinks with his buddies and she entertained Alicia alone. What was she thinking? She was Jim's work colleague. She was making it seem like her relationship with Jim was horrible. He really wasn't a bad guy even though Lisa was starting to tire of his 50's attitude about marriage and women.
As Lisa was putting away the last of the dishes, Jim walked into the kitchen apparently in an amorous mood as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He was happy that his new project manager was happy and that she and his wife hit it off. He hoped that if she had a friend she would stay happy and help make sure the project was a success and bring in loads of money.
She knew this was his attempt to thank her for cooking dinner and entertaining yet another of his work people. In her mind, she was thinking the true thank you should have gone to Jim for inviting Alicia into her world. She curbed his amorous attempts by claiming that she was tired and had some files to go over before going into work tomorrow. But in truth, she knew she would only be thinking about Alicia.
As she lay awake in bed she couldn't get Alicia out of her mind. She couldn't understand her attraction to her. She didn't think she had attractions to other women besides friendships. She had many close friendships with women and some of those women were lesbians but it never went any further then friendships. She and her female friends were close and no one shied away from friendly close contact. She remembered always having an abundance of female friends growing up. She had boyfriends but it was never anything serious. Jim happened because of his persistence and being worn down by everyone in her life asking when she was going to settle down. And it didn't help that he was able to rally her parents on his side. She at times wondered if she talked herself into loving Jim but now after she met Alicia she wondered if she was ever in love with him. Lisa's eyes shot open as she resisted the urge to bolt upright in bed for fear of waking Jim. 'Whoa! Where did that come from? I'm sure, no, I know I love Jim. Alicia is someone I barely know. I can probably begin a close friendship with her. Besides I don't even know if she is gay. ' Rationalization is a wonderful thing. She went over the events of the evening. She drifted to sleep with a huge grin on her face as she envisioned Alicia's eyes and lips...on her.
Chapter 2
Saturday finally arrived.
Jim had got an early tee time as he and his buddies were planning on making a day of golf and drinks. They were planning to play eighteen holes, go out for a steak dinner and end the evening having cocktails at their favorite watering hole. He woke Lisa to kiss her goodbye and wished her a good day with Alicia which she sleepily half acknowledged. After she heard the front door close, her eyes shot wide open and she sat bolt upright in bed. "Oh my God! I'm meeting Alicia for lunch today!"
Lisa jumped out of bed ready to rush into the shower and get dressed until she looked at the clock on her night stand realizing it was only 8:30am. She flung herself on the bed and grabbing her pillow placing it over her head as she screamed into it. She kept saying over and over into the pillow, "Oh my God. Oh my God."
Once she had calmed down, she pulled the pillow down off her face and hugged it around her waist. She began talking out loud trying to make sense of why she was so nervous about a simple lunch.
Having almost four hours to get ready and meet Alicia for lunch, she almost made herself late with her anxious preoccupation about the lunch. She tried on almost all the clothes in her closet, changed shoes about twenty times and fussed with her hair for over a half an hour. No she wasn't nervous. Right.
As she drove downtown, she was amazed that she didn't get a ticket because she would start to rush and then she would slow down trying not to appear too eager. When she finally arrived at the restaurant, it took her another ten minutes to find a parking space. Because she was so flustered, she had to sit in the car for about five minutes so she could calm down and not look so anxious.
Alicia arrived early and found a table by the window so she would spot Lisa when she arrived. Her not being there at 12:00 didn't concern her because she knew she was doing errands before meeting her. But that still didn't do anything to relax her nerves and quiet her excitement about seeing her again, without Jim. 'Be careful Alicia, she probably doesn't have the same feelings that you have about her. She's not even gay, she's married to your supervisor. This could be very, very bad for you. Or very good...'
Lisa was rushing to get to the restaurant even after taking the time to calm down beforehand. Right before she got to the restaurant she slowed her pace so not to look so anxious and flustered when she got there. She saw Alicia before she saw her. She stopped to admire her through the window. 'It's just lunch between two friends, nothing more.' Alicia spotted her and waved.
She was led to the table by the waitress. Alicia looked as beautiful as she did that last time she saw her. Lisa quickly sat down and released a quiet sigh which caused a smile from Alicia.
"Hi. I hope you weren't waiting too long. Traffic was heavier than I thought." Lisa did her best to keep her breathing and voice even.
Alicia's smile grew bright. "No I got here right before you. I resisted the urge to come here for dinner since we were going to come here for lunch today. Did you get all your errands taken care of?"
"What? Oh...yes I got them all done," Lisa responded with surprise having forgotten that she told her she had to run errands as an excuse for her not to pick her up. "How was your week? Jim's done nothing but talk about the big project you are working on." Again she told a little white lie since she was the one asking about Alicia and the project.
"Things are going fine. You mind if we don't talk about the project. I've been dealing with it all week and I really want to enjoy my afternoon." '...with you' is what she said to herself since she was looking forward to this lunch all week.
Lunch was like slipping into that old comfortable fluffy robe on a rainy winter morning. They talked as if they had known each other for years. It was as if they were two old friends slipping into the comfort of a long practiced give and take relationship. They laughed until they cried at the various circumstances and events of their lives until their sides hurt and faces were wet with tears.
To Lisa, she felt like she had found home. The ease that she felt with Alicia made her sad in some way that she did not feel this deep of a connection with her other closest friends, not even Jim. 'What does that say about me? What does that say about Alicia?' thought Lisa.
Alicia noticed the sudden change in Lisa's demeanor and became worried that maybe she had become too familiar to quick. She couldn't let the intensity of this new found relationship slip away this soon. She reached out and gently covered her hand with her own and made a sincere effort to capture her eyes with her own. "Lisa, is there something the matter? You look so sad. I hope I didn't say anything to upset you."
Lisa did not realize that she was showing her mood so obviously. She quickly tried to cover it up with a laugh to play it off, "Oh no nothing is wrong. I guess I was just thinking too hard and my thoughts just took over. What were we talking about?"
As Lisa tried to slip her hand away, Alicia tightened her grip. "Please tell me what's wrong. You've had that same look flash across your eyes for the last half hour."
She bowed her head and fought to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. She silently cursed at herself for being on the verge of falling apart in front of this woman. She realized that it had taken her years to feel this vulnerable in front of anybody this soon after meeting them. 'Was this what a true friendship feels like?' she asked herself.
She sighed deeply before launching into her explanation. "This may sound silly and I feel kinda stupid for even saying it." She looked up and saw the intense stare of Alicia waiting patiently for her to continue. "I have been having such a good time with you."
"That doesn't sound silly or stupid. I'm having a great time too."
Lisa smiled at her and then took a double take when she realized that she said 'great time.' That made what she wanted to say harder. "That's not the silly part. I don't think I've ever felt this comfortable with anybody in my whole life. And that makes me feel sad about all my other relationships. Do you know what I mean?" Lisa finished with that same flash of sadness in her eyes.
All of a sudden the conversation got real serious. "I think I do."
"I guess it makes me think about what I was missing with my other relationships. I've never felt this close to anyone this quickly. I hope we are becoming friends." Lisa had to force herself to stop talking before she continued to embarrass herself more then she felt she already had. She stole a quick look at Alicia to see if she was completely disgusted by her display of emotionality about a simple lunch. "Wow! Listen to me. You would have thought I had a whole bottle of wine all to myself by the way I have been babbling. What time is it? We've been here for a while."
Feeling a spark of hope that Lisa may feel something for her, she knew she had to proceed carefully so not to scare her off. "I hope we are becoming friends. I think I feel the same way about you. I mean I never felt so close to someone so quickly as well. There is no need to feel embarrassed. I'm honored that you feel that you can be so honest with me." Still holding her hand, Alicia gave her a gentle squeeze and a bright smile. "Besides if we become friends, I may get to see what you are like after you have had a full bottle of wine," she said with wicked grin and wink. 'It's going to be hard to just be her friend.'
This caused Lisa to laugh and brighten her mood. 'Why do I feel it's going to be hard to just be her close friend?'
Numerous months later...
Lisa and Alicia's friendship had grown closer than either woman thought possible. Lisa was happier than she had been in years. She finally felt that she had found the close friendship that she had been missing. She resigned herself that her initial response to Alicia was more about the absence of a close female friend and nothing more. And her erotic dreams about Alicia were due to her waning sex life with Jim due to his increased work schedule. That's what she kept telling herself.
For Alicia, the struggle to reign in her feelings was growing more difficult as each day went by. She was happy that she and Lisa had become such close friends but her growing feelings for the woman were something that was becoming harder for her to hide.
Chapter 3
The decision as to where to meet for dinner was quite the debate between the two women. Lisa wanted to go to the latest new restaurant in town but Alicia wanted to go to somewhere that wouldn't be so noisy and crowded. Finally they decided to get takeout and eat at Alicia's place since they both knew that her cooking was a risky venture and Jim was working at home this evening.
Alicia was pleased by the opportunity to have uninterrupted time with Lisa. She wanted to talk to her about her feelings even though she knew this could end their friendship.
Lisa who had volunteered to pick up the food showed up to Alicia's door with arm's loaded with Italian from the local Bistro. She didn't want to set the food down on the ground to ring the bell so she awkwardly tried to ring the bell with her elbow and kick the door to announce her arrival. Hearing the noise at the door, Alicia cautiously went and looked out the peek hole to see Lisa trying to balance the food and ring the bell.
She opened the door with a chuckle and she took some of the bags from Lisa and led her into her dining room. Lisa unloaded the bags of food as Alicia went to get plates and silverware.
"I have a nice bottle of red wine or do you want white?" Alicia asked from the kitchen.
"Red will be fine."
"I hope you don't mind not going to that restaurant tonight. I just couldn't deal with the crowds and noise that go along with a new hot spot," Alicia stated as she rejoined her in the dining room.
Smiling at Alicia she said, "No not all. Having a quiet dinner is what I needed. I brought that movie that just came out in DVD. Jim never wants to watch DVDs with me. He rather see them when they first come out in the theater.
Dinner was quiet affair. Alicia was too preoccupied with what she wanted to say to Lisa to really focus on what Lisa was discussing about her current case. Noticing that she wasn't paying attention, Lisa purposely added things in her conversation to see if Alicia was really listening to her.
"...and then I had to shoot the whole family since they wouldn't let the child watch the movie Shrek."
"Oh that's too bad. I hope everything works out." She was pushing her food around her plate and just briefly looked up at her dinner companion.
Becoming worried, Lisa reached over to take Alicia's hand. "Is everything okay? You seem really distracted."
Not realizing that she had been so out of it, she quickly looked up and smiled. She pushed her plate away from her and refilled both of their wine glasses.
Taking a long drink from her glass she said, "I'm sorry. I guess I'm not very good dinner company."
"What's the matter? Do you want to talk about it?" Lisa said with concern.
"Well...Yes actually. Why don't you take your glass and have a seat in the living room. I'm going to get another bottle of wine." Alicia quickly left the table to get another bottle of wine. Lisa looked at the fleeting image of her friend as she disappeared in the kitchen. She was troubled about what she wanted to talk about that took an extra bottle of wine.
Lisa sat on the couch drinking what was left in her glass as she waited anxiously for her friend to return.
Placing two bottles of wine on the coffee table, one open, Alicia sat on the couch opposite of Lisa. She refilled both their glasses and took a long swallow before putting her glass down and refilling it before finally feeling ready to begin the conversation.
"Lisa, I need to talk to you and I'm scared of how you may react. Please just let me say what I need to get out before you respond because I'm nervous I may lose my nerve to say it." Lisa nodded her uneasy agreement.
"Thank you." Alicia took another long drink of her wine and a deep breath before she began. "Lisa I am happy that we have become such good friends. I was afraid when I moved here that I would never find any friends as special as you are to me. And because of that I owe it to you to be honest with you. I care about you more than I have cared about anyone in a long time."
"Alicia I care about you too. You have become the best friend I have ever had." Lisa couldn't remain quiet any longer after hearing her heartfelt declaration.
Alicia grabbed her glass and refilled it again. 'She does remember that I'm gay I hope? If not this is going to be harder than I thought,' Alicia thought with worry starting to etch on her face.
"I know I said I would let you finish. But did you think I would be upset by what you are telling me? I'm happy we are friends. Remember I said that during our first lunch together."
"I don't think you understand what I'm saying. You do remember I'm gay right?" Alicia simply stated hoping she wouldn't have to explain things further.
"Well of course I do. I was happy that you trusted me enough to tell me. We never really had a need to talk about it. I just took it as who you are. I have other lesbian friends. I don't have a problem with it if that's what you think." Lisa was starting to sweat. This conversation was causing her to question her perception that they were just friends. 'Why is she feeling the need to bring up her being gay? She knows that we are close friends. That's all we could ever be. Right?'
"Lisa, what I'm trying to tell you...what I need you to know... Oh damn!" Alicia reached across and grabbed the collar of Lisa's blouse and pulled her toward her to give the clueless woman a deep passionate kiss.
When the kiss ended, Lisa sat there looking at Alicia with her mouth open staring at her losing the ability to blink and articulate any words aloud. The only thing she could do was think 'Oh my God, she kissed me. Oh my God, she kissed me. Oh my God, I liked it. Oh my God...I...liked...it.'
"Lisa, talk to me. Are you okay? I know I shouldn't have done that but it was all I could think of to tell you how I feel about you. I'm sorry if..."
Regaining her ability to speak but not her ability to think clearly, Lisa blurted out, "I'm straight. I'm not supposed to have these feelings about women, about you."
"I know. I'm sorry Lisa. I didn't mean to shock you but I couldn't continue to have these feelings about you and..." Alicia let the sentence hang as she reached out to take her hand. She was shocked and hurt but not really surprised when Lisa pulled her hand away and turned to face anything but her.
Lisa spoke not looking at Alicia. "Alicia I just want to be your friend. I don't know if I could handle anything else. I don't want to lose you as a friend." She picked up her wine glass and downed its contents. As she stood up she finally glanced down at her friend. "I think I better go. I will call you okay and we can talk some more later when we haven't had so much wine."
Alicia gently took Lisa's hand and softly said, "Okay, we can talk later. I'm sorry Lisa for how I told you but not for how I feel." Lisa slowly pulled her hand away and quickly walked out of the front door. As the door closed, Alicia looked at the door through eyes clouded with tears. She said in a whisper to the closed door, "I love you Lisa."
Sitting in her car staring straight ahead, Lisa touched her lips thinking about the kiss. Tears begin to fall as she hugged herself tightly around her waist while she rocked slowly back and forth trying to soothe herself from what she wasn't sure.
Not hearing a car, Alicia looked out her living room window and noticed that Lisa had not driven away. She could see that she was just sitting in her car looking like she was not making any attempt to leave. She desperately wanted to go to her and offer any comfort she could but feared that Lisa would not want anything to do with her now. This caused her tears to fall in earnest.
After several long minutes, Lisa found the strength to start her car and make the journey home. She was scared about what tonight's events could mean for her life and her future.
When Lisa entered her home, she went and sat in the living room without turning on the lights. The last thing she wanted was to deal with Jim asking her how her evening went, especially since she was trying to figure that out herself.
She was startled out of her thoughts by the brightness of the light that suddenly illuminated the room.
"Lisa, what are you doing sitting here in the dark? How was dinner with Alicia? Have a good time?" Jim walked over to his wife and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. She seemed moody but he thought that maybe it was just her time of the month.
She looked and gave her husband a weak smile. "I didn't want to wake you. The evening was...fine. How was yours?"
He walked over to the doorway and turned to respond, "Great. I was able to finish that proposal I have been working on. If this works out we will be able to expand into markets all over the country. Remember I'm leaving for my meeting in New York tomorrow morning. I should be back next week sometime. I'm going to bed, gotta catch a 5am flight. Don't stay up too late. Glad you had a good time tonight." Jim stared at his wife feeling more distant from her then he has since they got engaged. He was somewhat glad that he was going out of town away from her for a while.
Lisa stared at the doorway as her husband left to go to the bedroom as her thoughts pounded in her head. 'I'm straight. I'm married. Alicia is just a good friend. She's just confused about her feelings for me. She's probably just lonely. Maybe I will introduce her to one of my lesbian friends! That should solve the problem.' Lisa felt that she had just solved her dilemma but why was she feeling so empty.
As she stared at her husband sleeping, she needed to feel that she had her life figured out. Their love life had dramatically dropped off since her friendship with Alicia started to grow. She felt that maybe she was spending too much time with the woman and it was her fault that Alicia was confused about her feelings for her. But why did she feel so complete with her more than she ever had with Jim or any other lover she had.
She thought that maybe she should just crawl into bed next to her husband and make love to him. That would prove that she was straight and the kiss meant nothing. She thought she should just feel flattered that someone found her attractive. As she thought about making love to her husband the vision of Alicia's eyes staring into her soul and her lips on hers made the notion of having sex with her husband an unpleasant task. Besides he had to get up early to catch his plane. She knew he wouldn't pass on the opportunity to have sex with her but it would be more about the mechanics instead of anything emotional.
Lisa became aroused at the thought of what making love to Alicia would be like and hastily went to the bathroom deciding that she needed to take a cold shower. She decided that splashing cold water on her face should do the trick. She needed to do something to divert her attention from the growing wetness forming between her legs and quickly ruled out getting a drink. So she realized a cold shower was the only thing that would help her. She spent what she felt was a safe amount of time in the bathroom after her shower until she had control of her emotions before climbing into bed next to Jim.
Chapter 4
Lisa was on autopilot at work. As much as she wanted to call Alicia, she didn't know what to say to her. She was happy that Jim was going be away for a few days as it would give her time to think through the situation. But think about what was the question.
Thursday evening, Lisa's mother called. She had had a brief call with her daughter the day Jim left for his business trip and was concerned about her mood. She could tell that her daughter was upset although she denied it. But a mother knows when her child is in distress and this mother was going to find out what was going on.
"Hello mother. How are you?" Lisa stated flatly.
"I'm fine sweetheart. How are you? I was worried about you since we spoke earlier this week. What's wrong? Is there a problem between you and Jim?" Lisa's mother asked the question with heighten concern in her voice.
"Mother I am fine. Jim and I are fine. I don't want to talk about it." Lisa realized that she had more anger in her tone than she wanted. Changing the subject, "How is daddy? He's not working too hard, is he?"
Sighing deeply, she knew if she pushed her daughter anymore she would never get her to open up. She hopefully would talk to her when she was ready.
"Your father is fine. The only way I could get him to slow down is if I tied him down," she said with a slight chuckle. "Why don't you come visit us this weekend since Jim is out of town?"
The thought of going home and having her mommy make her feel better was an enticing idea but she knew she had to figure this out for herself. Running home to mommy and hoping she would make everything better no matter how comforting would not solve her problems.
"Mom I would love to visit you and daddy this weekend but I have already made plans. Maybe in the next couple of weeks I can make it," Lisa lied as she closed her eyes to hide from no one in particular about her lie.
"Alright sweetheart. Take care of yourself. Call me if you need to talk. I love you," she said with as much care she could put in her words.
"I love you too mom. Give my love to dad. Talk to you soon. Bye."
"Bye honey." Lisa had hung up the phone before her mother could even respond. She had the urge to go to her daughter's home right then to confront her about whatever was wrong but she knew that could put a wedge between them. And it was also a two hour drive. So all she was left to do was hope her daughter would make the best choice for herself and to call her later to try to get more information.
She felt bad for hanging up the phone so abruptly on her mother but she knew she couldn't handle her mother's incessant questioning. As she was in her kitchen getting a glass of wine, the phone rang again. Thinking it was her mother she picked it up without realizing who was on the phone.
"Look mom, I'm sorry I..."
"Lisa. It's me Jim. What did you do to your mother?" he asked curious as to why she was apologizing to her.
"Oh, hi Jim. Nothing it was a misunderstanding. How is your business trip going?" Lisa was caught off guard hearing Jim's voice.
"The trips going okay but that's the reason I'm calling. Things are a little more complicated than we originally thought, so I'm going to have to stay longer then I thought. I will probably be here a week longer. That's not a problem is it? I'm sure that you and Alicia will find things to do to keep you occupied. Well I gotta go meet some people for late drinks. I will let you know when I will be home. Love ya. Bye." With that he hung up the phone.
"Okay bye Jim." Lisa looked at the phone for several moments before she replaced it back on the base. She then went looking for the larger wine glass.
After getting her glass of wine she slumped on her couch and looked out her living room window at everything and nothing. Thinking about Alicia and Jim jumbled the thoughts in her head. She had to make a decision about what she wanted to do with her life. Had she been fair to either Jim or Alicia? Alicia deserved to find happiness with the right person and she knew she probably wouldn't find it with her no matter what Alicia thought. She should give Jim and their marriage more of a chance. Since Alicia came into her life her marriage had become secondary.
Lisa picked up the teddy bear that Jim gave her for Valentine's Day and began to have a conversation with it. She knew it would listen without judgment. "What would my parents say if I threw my marriage away? I should give Jim a chance. I will start when he returns from his trip. I now have a few more days to think about how to do that. I should tell Alicia the truth. I hope she will understand. Do you understand? She is beautiful, compassionate and loving isn't she? You think I should tell her in person or on the phone? Yeah, you're right; in person would be the respectful thing to do. You think I'm doing the right thing giving Jim a chance. Right? Yeah you'll right I should give my marriage another chance." She gave the bear a hug before she replaced it back on the couch. "Thanks for listening. Wish me luck if...when I decide to talk to her."
Lisa spent the rest of the evening and a bottle of wine working through what she wanted to tell Alicia. By the time she went to bed the only thing she had to show for her efforts was slurring speech, a headache and one word written on a piece of paper, 'Alicia'. She hoped her false sense of resolution about her life will help her mood at work and she will able to put her thoughts on hold while she did her job.
Alicia was also fighting with her own thoughts about the situation with Lisa. She really did love her but did not know if she had the strength to be around her. She also didn't know if she had the strength to not be around her even if it was just as her friend.
As she looked at the pile of papers on her desk all she could think about was how her impulsive actions may have hurt Lisa. Talking out loud to herself, "I can't wait for her to call me. At the very least I have to apologize to her. I wonder if she will come over for a drink or dinner. Or just meet with me for coffee. I will take whatever I can get."
Picking up her cell phone, she decided to go get a cup of coffee and go for a walk as she called Lisa.
Her hand was shaking slightly as she dialed Lisa's number. She was silently practicing how she would say hello as the phone was ringing. She was also hoping that she would get her voice mail instead of having to actually talk to her. Her wish was granted, the call went right to voicemail.
"Hello Lisa. It has been a few days since we talked. I hope you are okay. I was hoping you could come over to my place tonight so we could talk. I could make us some dinner well at least order in some dinner. We don't have to eat if you don't want to. I just really want to see you so we can talk. Call me. I really need to talk to you. I hope I see you tonight. Oh by the way this is Alicia. Bye."
Alicia felt like a twelve year old talking to a junior high crush. "Could I have sounded more pathetic? Why would she even call me back? I am such an idiot!" Alicia chastised herself as she walked back to her office. She was grateful that Jim was out of the office so he wouldn't have the opportunity to know about what was going on between her and his wife.
Lisa didn't answer the call after seeing who it was. She figured if she was calling her on her cell phone she took a walk. After she retrieved the message, she decided to reply by leaving a message on her office phone that she would meet her at her place around 7pm. That way she could avoid talking to her for the time being.
After listening to the message on her office phone, Alicia made an excuse to leave work early. Since the last time she saw Lisa, she had been too depressed to keep her house in any kind of manageable upkeep. She knew she better tidy up somewhat so the house would look like she could still take care of herself. She decided to get something simple for dinner that could be reheated if necessary.
Chapter 5
She finally gathered the courage to go to the front door. She took a deep breath before she knocked on the door. She wanted to knock instead of using the bell because she wanted to feel a connection with something real and solid at that moment. The feel of the hard wood on her knuckles grounded her for what she was about to do.
Alicia opened the door quickly even though she was trying to contain her excitement of seeing the woman she adored.
"Lisa. I'm glad you could come. Please come in and have a seat." She was trying to contain her excitement at seeing the woman as she stood aside to let her in.
Smiling brightly as Lisa passed by her, Alicia's hand lightly grazed the hand of the woman. That was all she risked at that moment especially since she wanted to hug her. The light touch caused electric shocks of energy to radiate through the bodies of both women.
Not trusting her mouth to work properly, Lisa just nodded quickly and walked in the direction that Alicia directed toward the couch in the living room. As she stood in front of the couch Lisa remembered the kiss and her body generated a heat she wasn't expecting.
"Please have a seat Lisa. Do you want something to drink? I have food if you are hungry. Don't worry I didn't cook it," Alicia said with an anxious laugh.
"Just a glass of water please." Feeling her mouth going dry as her nerves increased, Lisa thought it safer to ask for a glass of water instead of something stronger which she really wanted.
"I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable." Alicia quickly went into the kitchen to retrieve the water. When she got a bottled water out of the frig, she saw the open bottle of white wine and quickly took a swig to calm her nerves before returning to the living room.
Handing Lisa the bottle of water, Alicia sat on the opposite end of the couch. "Lisa. I'm glad you agreed to come. I've wanted to talk to you every since that night."
"I've wanted to talk to you as well. I want you to know how much I value our friendship and don't want anything to get in the way of it." Lisa felt that she had momentum to talk about working on her marriage.
Moving closer to Lisa, Alicia took her hand. "Before you say anything else there is something that I need to say to you." Lisa looked down at her hand and then at Alicia's face. Alicia waited until she knew that she had her full attention and eye contact. "Lisa I want to apologize for my actions that night. I never wanted you to feel uncomfortable especially with me. I understand if you are not able to return my feelings and I should have found a better way to tell you how I felt. Lisa you are such a beautiful, kind and loving woman, that you make it is so easy to fall in love with you. Even if you can never love me in the same way I can't imagine my life without you in it." She squeezed Lisa's hand and resisted the urge to kiss it.
All of Lisa's momentum from before dissolved after hearing Alicia's heartfelt pronouncement. She looked down again at the hand that held hers and felt tears begin to form in her eyes. She couldn't look at this woman who said everything she wished Jim would say to her. That thought caused her tears to gently roll down her cheeks in earnest.
Alicia became concerned that she messed things up again when she saw her tears but she felt some glimmer of hope by the fact that she wasn't pulling away from her. Alicia took her free hand and gently wiped her tears away with her thumb.
"What's the matter honey? Was it something I said?" Alicia asked with tender concern.
With a laughing sob, Lisa finally looked into the eyes of the woman who professed her love. "Yes it was something you said. Do you really love me?"
With a bright smile, she responded, "Yes, with all my heart. Given who you are how could I not." At that she raised her hand to her lips and placed a soft kiss on her palm.
With that simple display of affection, the walls that Lisa had worked so hard to maintain began to rapidly crumble. She cupped Alicia's face with her hand and gently and slowly brought her face towards hers until their lips were a breath apart from each other. Not wanting to break the spell, Alicia let Lisa make all the moves. She sent out a silent prayer that the fragile woman would allow their lips to touch. As if Lisa had heard her prayer, she pressed her lips to hers. At first it was a chaste soft kiss and then Lisa added more pressure and Alicia returned the same of level of intensity until it became evident that it was something that they both wanted.
When they finally parted, they rested their foreheads together and smiled. Lisa began to softly giggle which caused Alicia to pull back to look at her.
"What's so funny?"
"When I came here tonight, I was planning on telling you that I was going to devote my energies to my marriage. Now I don't think I can do that." Lisa placed another kiss on her lips.
Alicia became alarmed at hearing this. She didn't want to be responsible for breaking up her marriage and to a lesser degree the possibility of losing her job. "Lisa, maybe you need to think about this some more. Jim's out of town right now so maybe you are just missing..."
Lisa placed her finger on the nervous woman's lips to quiet her. "This has nothing to do with Jim. The first night you walked into my house, I knew that you were going to be something special to me. I just didn't know how at the time. I don't know what my feelings for Jim and you are right now but I am sure that you have to be in my life."
Alicia gently rubbed Lisa's cheek with her hand as she looked deeply and lovingly into her eyes. She could never imagine that this moment would be a reality. Ever since that very first dinner and touching Lisa's hand in her kitchen she only fantasized about being able to kiss this beautiful woman. The fact that she may share the same feelings caused Alicia's heart to beat rapidly and her eyes to begin to tear up.
"What's the matter? Why the tears?" Lisa asked with apprehension.
Letting out a laugh of her own between her tears, Alicia choked out, "I never imagined you would come close to feeling the same way for me." She pulled her love into a fierce hug. "I thought you hated me after I kissed you. Thank you for giving me another chance and coming back to me."
Lisa pulled away from her and sought out her lips again and began a soul altering passionate kiss. Hands began to explore each other's body causing an explosion of sensations and emotions. Lisa felt an intensity that she hadn't felt before in her life and it scared her.
Pulling abruptly away from Alicia, the other woman panted, "Wait. Please wait. It's too much. I don't know if I am ready for this right now. Can we... go slow?"
Alicia felt bad that she allowed her emotions for this woman to take over without even thinking about how she could be feeling. This was probably her first experience with another woman. "I'm sorry Lisa."
"It's nothing you did, it's me. I have never been with a woman let alone kissed a woman except my girlfriends on the cheek," Lisa said with a grin. "Alicia I don't want to disappoint you. I think I want to be with you. But..."
Taking her hand Alicia gently stroked the scared woman's face. "But you need more time and you still need to figure out what loving me will mean for you and... Jim. And you need to figure out what you feel is love for me. It's okay honey. I've waited this long so I can wait as long as needed." There was nothing but compassion in her voice which caused Lisa to relax and Alicia to know that she had not ruined this before it began. "Can I at least hold you?"
With a bright enthusiastic smile, Lisa started to snuggle into her arms. With a raised hand signally for her to wait, Alicia bolted from the living room returning with the bottle of wine from her frig and two glasses. She handed her a glass and opened her arm for Lisa to crawl into her embrace.
That is how they spent the rest of their evening wrapped in each other's arms talking about the newness of their feelings, what each wanted or just sitting in silence relishing in the warmth of each other's body.
Alicia had invited her to spend the night not wanting the evening to end. Lisa knew she had better leave before she completely lost control of her resolve. After all she had already lost her resolve once that evening.
Chapter 6
Alicia spent the better part of the afternoon primping and trying on every outfit in her closet. She was surprised that she was so nervous about taking the woman she loved out on a real date. She wanted everything to be perfect down to the restaurant they ate at and what they did after the movie.
Across town a similar frantic routine was taking place. Lisa was feeling like she was the lucky girl who was asked out by the captain of the football team from the array of eligible cheerleaders. But her captain was the beautiful dark haired woman who thought she was beautiful and said that she loved her. At the moment she wouldn't let herself think about Jim or her marriage. All she could think about was the gorgeous woman who professed love for her who was on her way over to pick her up for their first date.
Lisa was looking out her front window anxiously waiting for the burgundy Ford Explorer that was to be her chariot for her magical date. Once she saw the SUV pull into her driveway, her heart sped up and her palms became damp. She jumped when the door chimed but was able to swallow the yelp that threatened to escape her lips.
Taking care not to rapidly fling the door open, she slowly pulled the door knob. Alicia was a vision of beauty and at that moment Lisa thought she was a goddess.
"Hello Lisa. You look beautiful," said an excited Alicia.
Still staring wide mouthed with a goofy smile at the woman at her door Lisa simply gestured with her hand for her to enter. They stood looking at each other for several moments.
"You look wonderful. Do you want something to drink? I'm a little nervous about our date. I haven't been on a date in a long time and never with a beautiful woman," Lisa said trying to fill the void of silence.
Taking Lisa's hand, Alicia gave her a caring smile. "There is nothing to be nervous about. Why don't we go to the restaurant? We don't want to miss our reservation." She picked up her sweater off the chair before Lisa reached for it and placed it over her shoulders. Placing her hand in the small of her back she led her to the car. As she opened the passenger car door she placed a sweet kiss on her lips. "I'm so glad you are here with me."
Even though the drive to the restaurant was done in silence, the level of tension especially sexual tension could be cut with a knife. The effort to make small talk was almost painful so both women decided to just be content with the silence until they reached their destination. Alicia didn't want to trust the radio playing a romantic song as they drove to the restaurant for fear that she would have to pull the car over and take the woman there.
The dinner seemed to go by in a blur. The meal was wonderful and the conversation was pleasant. They exchanged playful looks at each other as they held hands. They shared a decadent chocolate dessert teasing each other as they fed each other bites of the dessert that only continued to add to the sexual tension.
Once they were finished with their dessert, Alicia took Lisa's hand and gave it a soft kiss. "Would you take a walk with me in the park instead of going to the movies?"
No longer in the mood for a movie herself, Lisa responded, "It would be a perfect ending to a perfect date."
"I am hoping it won't be the end," Alicia said with a sly smile. Lisa blushed at her comment.
It was still early in the evening and the sun had begun its descent for the day before the moon was to make its appearance giving the streets a golden glow. The park near the restaurant was a quiet neighborhood park where there were other couples taking early evening walks and parents playing with their children before they were put to bed. Alicia and Lisa walked arm in arm as they softly talked in the language of new love.
After about an hour the temperature began to drop as the sun had made its final retreat for the night.
"It's getting cold," Lisa stated with a slight shiver in her voice.
Alicia wrapped her arms tighter around her to try to add her heat to her body. "You ready to go home honey?" Her reply was a simple nod. They slowly walked back to the SUV. Once inside, Lisa leaned over and gave Alicia a deep passionate kiss. Trying to regain some sibilance of composure Alicia stuttered, "Oh...uhm...ahh...do you want to go to your house or..."
Before she could finish asking her question, Lisa planted another kiss on Alicia's lips. "Let's go to your place." Alicia nodded her head and quickly started the car heading to her condo. Lisa was feeling very adventurous at the moment and was prepared to be open to anything that could happen.
Once inside Alicia's condo, the couple began to kiss as they made their way to the couch. After parting for air, Alicia asked, "Do you want something to drink? I have a bottle of white chilled or do you want something else?" She didn't want things to go to fast as it did last night.
Thinking that the wine would help ease her nerves and help her have some control over their growing passion Lisa agreed. "Yes wine would be wonderful."
They sat curled up in each other's arms on the couch talking, kissing and sipping their wine. By the time they had finished the bottle of wine they were doing more kissing than anything else. Their fervor fueled by the wine continued to grow even tough Alicia was doing her best to contain her passion for the woman but it was Lisa who gave into her escalating arousal. When Alicia attempted to pull away and slow down, Lisa pulled her closer and tighter to her body. As their kisses intensified clothes began to pile up on the floor by the couch.
Through the sounds of moans and heavy breathing, Alicia was able to whisper urgently, "Are you sure? Please be sure because I don't know if I can stop."
"Yes. Show me how to love you," Lisa slowly whispered in her ear as she gently nipped her lobe.
Taking that as her cue Alicia captured her lips in a deep passionate kiss that led them both to ecstasy. Alicia didn't have to instruct Lisa too much on how to make love to her. They explored each other's bodies with a hunger that could only be sated with the culmination of the ultimate symbol of their budding love.
They lay in each other's arms on the couch. Alicia pulled the light blanket from the edge of the couch over them as their temperature started to drop as the heat that their passionate lovemaking generated began to cool.
"That was amazing. You are amazing," Lisa whispered between kisses to Alicia's neckline.
Kissing her as she lovingly stroked Lisa's hair, she purred, "You make me feel amazing." She hugged her close to her body.
The couple lay together in silence for several minutes. Alicia had a very satisfied smile on her face thinking about the love they had just made. She had only dreamed of this moment but couldn't believe it had happened. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn't notice the changing mood of the woman in her arms.
"Does it always feel like this?" Lisa said aloud not really expecting or hoping for a response. She became sad thinking that she had never felt so loved before when she and Jim had sex. She knew that Jim loved her but each time they made love he always seemed like he was out to prove how good of a lover he was. Lately, she felt that she was just a body to him which could explain why their lovemaking had been less frequent of late.
Finally sensing her change of mood, Alicia looked at Lisa with concern. "What's the matter baby? You seem sad. Are you upset because we..."
"No! No I am just trying to figure out what this means for me and my marriage." Turning so she could look at the woman in her arms, "I've never felt like this. I never knew this was possible but I don't know how to handle it. I hope I have the courage and strength to love you. Thinking about all that makes me scared."
Kissing her on the head Alicia softly asked, "What do you want me to do to help you?" She was secretly afraid that her answer may be to never see each other again.
Sighing deeply Lisa quietly responded, "I don't know. I do know that I'm pretty sure I need you but you may not ..." She didn't know how to or if she could finish her thought of maybe Alicia may not want to deal with all of her craziness while she figured this out.
"Lisa you don't have to figure everything out tonight. You said Jim won't be back for at least another week so you have time to figure out what you want to do. And I will be here if you need me." Although Alicia meant every word she was saying, a small part of her heart was breaking. She never wanted their love to be this hard for her. And she feared that Lisa may decide that it was too much trouble to be with her.
Rolling over to nuzzle deeper within her embrace, Lisa asked softly among her quiet tears, "Will you just hold me tonight? I don't want to go home."
"Of course I will hold you. You can do whatever you wish. Do you want to stay here on the couch or go to my bedroom?"
"Can we stay here for right now? Then maybe later..." She was answered with a soft kiss and a firm hug.
Alicia was the first to awake that morning. They had moved to the bedroom an hour or so after Lisa had asked to be held. She cried a little more once they were in bed but she had finally fallen asleep late in the evening. She quietly slipped out of bed without waking her emotionally exhausted lover and went to the kitchen to get some coffee.
Sitting at her kitchen table she pondered if this was all worth it. 'I love that woman. Shit why does this have to be so hard. I wish she could just love me without all the complications. I can't give up on her now especially after all it's taken to get here.' Her thoughts were all jumbled and she couldn't settle on one thought that made her feel better.
Feeling frustrated that she couldn't fix the issue, Alicia got up from the table and started to make breakfast for the two of them. She figured it was going to be a long day so she might as well start with something that she could fix.
Lisa woke to the smell of coffee but didn't have the energy to get out of bed right away. She couldn't believe how tender and patient Alicia was with her last night. She gave her more than she had ever gotten from Jim in all the time they were married or even dating. Maybe Jim was just with the concept of a wife instead of the real thing. She tried to remember why just two days ago she was so adamant about rededicating herself to her marriage. In the next room was a woman who loved her and was willing to wait until...who was willing to wait. "Why should I have to wait for love especially when it's in the next room? I deserve to be happy." Lisa flung the covers off and marched into the kitchen to claim what she had been missing.
She walked into the kitchen to the most stunning sight she had ever seen. Alicia was standing over the stove cooking eggs and bacon barefoot in a baggy t-shirt with her unkempt hair flowing over her shoulders.
Lisa quietly went and stood behind Alicia and wrapped her arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her neck.
Smiling brightly at the sensation of the warm touch Alicia cooed, "Good morning to you too. Want some coffee? Breakfast is almost ready."
With a squeeze and a kiss, Lisa went over to get a cup of coffee. Leaning against the counter to watch her new lover cook, she watched her through hooded eyes as she blew on her hot coffee. She was staring so intensely that it was beginning to make Alicia nervous.
"What are you looking at?"
Giving the dark haired woman a sultry grin she quietly answered, "You."
As Alicia plated up their breakfast and placed it on the table she let out a small laugh. "Come on let's eat. You are probably just hungry. Maybe you will find the food more interesting. Breakfast I can cook."
Their eyes locked as Lisa joined her at the table. Lisa broke the trance. "Thank you."
Not wanting to press the meaning behind her thank you, Alicia gave her a sarcastic comment in return. "It's just eggs and bacon. You have made better on a bad day."
Lisa took Alicia's hand as she looked into her eyes, "Thank you. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for never giving up on me. And most of all, thank you for loving me and being willing to wait for me to love you back."
Blinking back tears she squeezed Lisa's hand tight and softly said, "You're welcome. Do you have anything planned for today?" Not knowing what else to do she wanted to start to eat and make small talk. Feeling self conscious, she pulled her hand away. She never expected that Lisa would be able to return this level of affection for her and she became nervous that it could not last. Her thoughts went back to her last relationship and how it ended.
Several years ago...
Alicia and Tanya had been together for over three years and to everyone that knew them they appeared very much in love. To Alicia's best friend, Julie, could see that her friend was more in love than Tanya but Alicia didn't want to see it. When they first got together their friends commented on the intensity of their love for each other but like a flame that burned too hot it quickly extinguished. Julie could see that Alicia wanted their relationship to last but Tanya although she loved Alicia was more focused on her career as a fashion photographer. She was traveling a lot, always around the beautiful people she photographed or worked for and attending parties. She tried to get Alicia to join her but that was something she wasn't comfortable with. Alicia enjoyed spending quiet time with her lover outside of the spotlight of all the beautiful people that were part of Tanya's world. Although Alicia attended parties for her advertising agency they were always about business and she never had to be the center of attention. Tanya told Alicia that she loved all the time and would always bring her gifts and would shower her with attention every time she returned from a shoot that Alicia felt secure that her lover would always be there for her. That was why she thought her world was falling apart when Tanya came to her and stated that she wanted to break up with her.
"What do you mean you want to break up? You told me you loved me. What's wrong?" Alicia desperately asked as she tried to hold back her sobs.
Taking her in her arms and bringing her into a tight hug she kissed the tears away from her cheeks. "Sweetheart, I do love you but I need to discover if I can reach the big time with career. You have told me so many times that this life is not for you and I can see how much it hurts you."
Looking up into her lover's face, she pleaded, "I've always supported you in your career. I love you. I don't understand why you feel that you have to leave me."
Taking a deep breath, Tanya tried to explain her rationale. "I know you have always supported me and I love you for it. I know I'm being selfish but I have to do this for me. I don't think I can be the woman you deserve if you are always following in my shadow. You deserve so much more."
Alicia pushed Tanya away from her forcefully as she screamed at her. "Who is she Tanya? Who is the bitch you are fucking? The one you are leaving me for."
"Alicia I swear to you I am not seeing anybody but you. I do love you but I..."
"Stop! So you are saying that you are leaving because I'm not good enough for you. I would never do that to you. I truly love you but I guess I was just your break in your journey until you made it big." Alicia let out a breathy sob as she covered her eyes with her hands. After a few long moments she gave Tanya a pained look. "I wish I could hate you but I love you too much. I hope you get what you...want." Alicia turned away from her lover and went into the bedroom and slammed the door.
Tanya didn't bother to follow her because she knew she would only hurt her more. Alicia saw Tanya two more times before they parted for the last time. She tried keep up with her career for awhile but after awhile it became too painful so she tried to move on with her life. She went on casual dates but was always to afraid to risk anything more serious for fear of risking her heart again.
Wanting to kick herself for her response to Lisa's words she angrily wiped at the tears that started to fall. She didn't know why she couldn't just tell her how she felt and the old fears that intruded her thoughts. 'She said everything I have always wanted to hear from a woman. And now the woman that I have longed for is telling me what I want to hear and I'm acting like a scared child. She's not Tanya. Damn, who's the experienced lesbian?'
"I'm going to go. I should go. Thanks for a wonderful evening."
Lisa stood up abruptly to go change into her clothes. As Lisa walked past the quiet woman she was stopped as her hand was captured to hold her in place. Not able to look at Lisa, Alicia spoke from the heart. "Please don't go. You have done nothing wrong in fact you have done everything right. I'm still in awe that you are here with me now. I've dreamed about this moment for so long. After that night I first kissed you I thought I would never have an opportunity to show you how much I love you." Finally summoning the strength to face the woman she loved, she brought her hand to her lips for a gentle kiss. "Thank you for giving me the chance to show you how much I care about you and making me feel safe enough to love you. I love you Lisa no matter if you will not be able to love me back. Please stay."
Lisa turned so she was face to face with Alicia. "I want to stay." Alicia hugged Lisa around the waist and rested her head on her stomach grateful that she wanted to stay. "I guess I should finish my breakfast." She leaned down to kiss the woman who was capturing her heart on the head before she brought her head up with her fingers to place a kiss on her lips.
"It could be my only attempt at a gourmet meal," Alicia laughed as she released her so she could sit and finish her meal attempting to lighten the mood.
They sat and ate in a more relaxed atmosphere. They talked about how they would like to spend the rest of their day together after agreeing that Lisa wouldn't go home until that evening. They talked about what their new relationship meant for the both of them as best as they could figure out in the current moment. Lisa finally felt comfortable to articulate her fears about ending her marriage and starting a relationship with Alicia.
After cleaning the kitchen of their breakfast dishes, the couple moved to the couch where they continued to talk after finishing their breakfast.
Curled up on the couch wrapped in a light blanket, Lisa began to talk with Alicia about her feelings. "I want to be with you but I don't know if I'm ready to end my marriage. I also don't know if I have the courage to tell the world I'm in a relationship with a woman especially my mother," Lisa said with a chuckle. Looking more solemnly she asked, "How did you tell people when you first came out? Was it scary?"
Taking a deep sigh and running her hand through her hair she tried to think back to when she first came out. "I think I knew I was gay since I was a little girl. I remember having crushes on the little girls in my classes all through school. When I was in high school I finally realized what my feelings were but there was no one to talk to about them. It wasn't until college and my first real girlfriend that I had a name to put to what was happening to me."
With a smile she continued to recount her coming out experience for Lisa. "Feeling jazzed about being in love, I couldn't wait to tell my mother. We had always been so close so I figured she would be happy for me. As liberal as I thought my mother was, she didn't take it as well as I hoped. She didn't take it well at all. We didn't talk for a long time." Seeing the distress in Lisa's face she quickly continued. "That was ten years ago, we have since grown close again. In fact she was more upset than I was when my last girlfriend and I broke up. But when I told my father and best friend, they both wondered why it took me so long to come out. Every experience is different for every person. Coming out is a personal experience for each person. You don't have to tell anybody until you have figured it out for yourself. You have a lot to deal with right now, telling people will come when you are ready. I'll still be here for you."
"What going on with you during breakfast? It felt like you were pushing me away. Tell me what was going on." Even though things felt better between the two she was still wondering what was going on with her lover before.
Alicia took Lisa's hand in her own and kissed it lightly. "Several years before I moved here I was in love with this woman and she broke my heart. I guess my insecurities about how you feel about me and what happened to me in the past just kinda collided. I know that this feels different and I know that you are not her. Thank god." She leaned over and gave her a passionate kiss.
Looking out the window contemplating the woman sitting next to her and the future, she sighed deeply. "I'm sorry that she broke your heart and I will do everything in my power to cherish it. Thanks for telling me your story. I guess I have a lot to figure out. First I have to figure out what I want to do about Jim." She turned to look at Alicia with an odd expression. "I don't want this to sound like I'm giving up on us. But what if I tell people about us, give up my marriage and we don't last? What then?"
"I can only think about us lasting but I understand your fear. Do you think you are gay or are you just attracted to me? That's a question you can only answer. But you don't have to answer it right now." Alicia brought Lisa into a tight embrace and just held her in silence for several long minutes. She knew at this moment there was nothing she could say to make it any easier for Lisa. She silently laughed to herself and she thought 'God I better love this woman to put up with all this newbie shit. Was I this raw when I first came out?'
Not wanting to talk about these issues anymore, Lisa turned so she could look Alicia in the eyes. As she stared at the woman she got an amorous gaze in her eyes. She took her finger and traced the outline of Alicia's lips. "I may not know if I'm gay or not but I do know that I am attracted to you. And right now I'm very attracted to you. I think I need more information to figure out if I am gay or not."
Becoming aroused by Lisa's behavior and words, Alicia played along.
"Well how can I help you gain this needed information?" she responded.
Nipping at her ear lobe she said in a low deep voice, "Well I heard that certain types of touch can produce sensuous feelings."
Running her finger along the outline of her breasts and nipples, Alicia asked, "Is this touch producing the sensations you were expecting?"
Moaning and moving into her touch she was only able to say, "Oh yes."
She moved her fingers down her abdomen to her belly button and gently brushing her fingers back and forth. "How about this touch?"
"Mmm yeah uh..."
She situated herself between her legs she used her tongue to make tracks up and down her belly then lightly blowing them dry. This was driving Lisa crazy as she began to raise up to me Alicia's lips. Talking into her belly she asked again, "Is this the touch you meant?"
She breathlessly responded, "I think...I think you... half done."
Alicia was grateful that they never got dressed from what they were wearing at breakfast, t-shirts and panties. That was going to make what she was going to do that much easier and more alluring. She began to kiss her way down one thigh and then up the other. She ran her hand over her silk panties and smiled when she felt how damp they were. In one fluid motion she removed her panties with one hand and traced the hairline of her pulsing center with the fingers of her other hand. Lisa bucked to meet the wondering hand.
"So have you gathered enough information yet? Should I stop now?" Alicia asked in a seductive voice.
Licking her lips she let out a low guttural moan. "Oh my... don't you dare!" she yelled.
Alicia combined her efforts and used both her hands and tongue to make sure Lisa had ample information to decide whether she was a lesbian or not.
After her second orgasm Lisa laid in her lover's arms trying to get her breathing back under control. Alicia rubbed large circles on her back as she placed soft kisses on her face and neck. Once her breathing was back under control Lisa captured the other's woman's lips with her own. "Thank you for being such a good teacher. But I think I only gained half the information," Lisa cooed. Seeing the confused look on her face she gave her a seductive smile. "I think I need to work on my lovemaking skills to really have all the facts. Do you know where I may be able to find a willing participant?"
She received a wide grin as her answer. "I think I may know someone who would be willing to help you out."
And so Lisa continued her lessons with the tutelage of a helpful Alicia through the rest of the afternoon. Their studies tired them out and they slept enveloped in each other's arms.
Chapter 7
After the weekend with Alicia she was sure that she was a lesbian and was very happy about that revelation. It made a lot things come into focus regarding her past relationships with men and her feelings toward her female friends. Once she worked through her anxiety of being with a woman, she realized how right it felt to be with a woman and the fact that it was Alicia made it that more special.
The two women spent as much time as they could with each other. They both knew that their uninterrupted time was precious since Jim was expected back in a week. They tried to go out on real dates just like new couples would do. Alicia took Lisa to her first lesbian dance club. She was surprised that Lisa had never gone to clubs before with her other lesbian friends but she confided that she was afraid to go because she didn't want people to think that she was a lesbian. She felt ashamed that she was so narrow minded in the past.
Alicia was thrilled that Lisa was starting to feel comfortable with herself and with their budding relationship. She didn't want to tease the woman for voicing her past and present insecurities because she knew how hard it was for her to come out to not only yourself but the world. She had over ten years to come to terms with her sexuality so she couldn't expect Lisa to be comfortable in less than two weeks. But she loved her so she would be there to help her in any way she could even if was just to hold her.
She couldn't help but think about the security of her job if and when Lisa talked to Jim. He wouldn't have grounds to fire her but he could definitely make her life hell. It wouldn't be fair for him working day after day with the woman responsible for breaking up his marriage. She also had the fear of what if Lisa couldn't go through with leaving Jim to be with her. But she couldn't think about that now given that she was happier than she had been in a very long time.
That Sunday the new couple had spent the day at the park. They packed a romantic lunch, rented a paddle in the shape of a swan and ended their afternoon making out like two teenagers beneath an old oak tree. They had decided to end their day together after the park because they both had early and hectic days at work. Alicia drove Lisa home and kissed her goodbye in the car not trusting her willpower to not spend the night if she had walked her to the door.
Lisa stood at the door as the SUV drove away until all she could see was the fading tail lights in the distance. She closed the door with a big smile on her face as she remembered the wonderful day she had spent the gorgeous dark haired beauty. She went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and noticed that the light was blinking on her answering machine. She hit the play button as she got her glass of water. She nearly dropped the glass when she heard the voice of Jim.
"Hi Lisa. I guess you are out. I will be home tomorrow evening. I would love to meet you for dinner. My flight will hopefully get in at 5:00pm, let's meet at Don Pedro's at 6pm. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night. Love you babe."
Lisa dropped heavily onto the chair realizing that her dream fantasy had come to an end. Her mind was racing. She wasn't ready for it to end. Maybe she didn't have to deal with Jim right now. He knew that Alicia and her were friends and spent a lot of time together. She decided that she wasn't ready to deal with Jim right now since she was having the time of her life with Alicia. She needed to call Alicia and... tell her what?
She got up from the chair and traded her water for a glass of wine. She grabbed the cordless phone and went and sat on the couch and hugged the stuffed brown rabbit with fluffy ears that Alicia had won for her when they spent a fun evening at the bowling alley and arcade.
As she clutched the rabbit she dialed Alicia's number. Her hands were shaking but she found comfort holding the rabbit close imagining that it was Alicia she was holding as she waited for the woman to answer.
"Hello"
"Alicia, can we talk?"
"Hi baby. What do you want to talk about?" Alicia heard the sudden intake of air across the phone. "Honey, are you alright?"
"Jim will be home tomorrow night. He said he wants to meet me for dinner."
Alicia was silent for several long moments trying to figure out what to do or say. "Do you want me to come over?" was all she could think of to say.
Lisa debated whether she wanted her to come over but she didn't think she could stand to wait that long for her to get there. "No just talk to me. It's all become so real. I don't think I'm ready to let him know about us yet but if I don't then it will really feel like cheating."
Trying to remain calm for her lover, "You don't have to tell him anything right now. Maybe just talk to him and see how it feels."
"I don't think I could talk to him and not let on about my feelings about you and the changes with me."
"We don't have to see each other until you figure things out first, that way you won't have to feel like you are cheating," Alicia said trying to be as comforting as she could even though her heart felt like it had ceased in her chest.
Understanding what she was trying to say, Lisa exclaimed in a panicked tone, "No! I have to see you. We can work things out until I feel ready to tell him. Please Alicia I have to see you. We will just have to be careful." She felt horrible for suggesting it but that was all she could think of to deal with the issue. But she had to be fair to Alicia. "If you don't want to do it, I'll understand." 'I'll hate it but I will deal,' she thought.
Alicia's heart was breaking for her lover and the situation that they were now in. She couldn't think about how hard it was going to be for her. She didn't want to bring it up to Lisa. She heard Lisa start to cry and she began to silently cry herself.
"Baby, don't cry. It will be okay. It's you I'm concerned about. You have done nothing wrong. I can wait until you are ready. It will be okay. I will do whatever you want."
Taking a deep breath, Lisa softly stated, "I will try to not make it so long. Too bad you fell in love with a chickenshit."
"But you are such a cute chickenshit and I love you," Alicia managed to say with a smile in her tone.
"I love you. I'm so sorry I'm making this so hard for you. I would understand if you just..."
"Stop right there. You said you love me," Alicia said with hope in her voice. "Do you really love me?"
"Yes I guess I really do love you," Lisa said with more conviction than she felt all evening.
"Good, because God I love you. I have not given up on you or us. You said you loved me and that's good enough for me. It will be alright, I feel it. So no negative talk, you understand? I love you," Alicia said in a strong but compassionate voice.
"Alright, but if it gets to hard you will tell me. Promise," Lisa stated.
Taking a deep sigh, Alicia responded "I promise but it won't get hard for me." She silently hoped she could handle the potential coming storm. She truly did love this woman. "Look why don't you call me on Tuesday and maybe we can go to lunch or dinner where we can talk. It will be okay honey. I will talk to you soon. I love you."
"I love you too."
Chapter 8
Normally the clock would tick away at a snail's pace but today the clock seemed to be speeding like a race car trying to clock the top time. When she looked at the clock it was 4:45pm, the last time she looked at the clock it was 2:30pm. She tried to ignore the time as she continued to work but the ticking of the clock became louder that she thought she was reliving Edgar Allen Poe's Tell Tale Heart. She didn't hear her co-worker come to say goodnight and became so startled that she nearly fell off her chair.
"Hey Lisa, I'm sorry. I just wanted to say goodnight. When was the last time you took a vacation? You really should think about taking one soon. You work too hard. Well have a goodnight. See you tomorrow," the social worker said as she left for the evening.
"Thanks. Have a good night." Lisa's nervousness continued to increase as she tried to be nonchalant.
It would take about 20 minutes to get to the restaurant if traffic was on her side and she could find parking. She did bring clothes to change into so that would take about 10 minutes. So she calculated that she had to leave about 5:30 to get there by 6pm.
After exiting the bathroom and making sure she had everything she headed to the parking garage. She sat in her car for a few minutes trying to gain the courage to leave. Hearing her phone beep indicating that she had a text message, she dug through her purse to find her phone. As she was looking she hoped that it was Jim letting her know that his flight had been delayed. When she found the phone she almost burst into tears when she saw that the message was from Alicia.
Remember I love you. I'm here for you.
She had forgotten that this was the restaurant that she and Jim had their first date. Neither had come back here after that first time. She didn't know why because the food and service was good.
Walking into the main room, she was waved to the table by Jim. He stood and gave her a bright smile and a passionate kiss which Lisa struggled to return. He had already ordered her a glass of white wine.
"You look good for spending a full day at work," he said with a smile as he showed her to her seat.
"Thanks. How was your flight? I didn't get a chance to ask you if you needed a ride from the airport." Lisa took his hand as she smiled at him trying to appear as normally as possible.
Smiling back at her he casually stated, "The flight was fine, just long. I'm glad they sell alcohol to break up the monotony of the flight. I wasn't sure when we were leaving since my assistant had to keep changing the time of the flight because of all the meeting changes. I knew it would arrive close to 4 or 5 pm. I took a cab here."
'That's why he looks so flushed. I wonder how many he had before I got here,' she thought as she looked at him across the table with a slight grin.
The waiter came and took their order for dinner. Lisa was grateful for the distraction because she was finding it awkward to keep trying to come up with neutral small talk. Feeling more anxious than hungry, Lisa just ordered the first thing she saw on the menu, the Risotto. After dealing with airport food for the past 7 hours, Jim ordered a medium rare T-bone steak.
Jim took her hand and smiled sweetly at her. He gently rubbed her hand and quietly said, "I missed you while I was gone."
"This was the longest business trip you've been on. How was your trip? Was it successful?" Lisa asked with feigned interest.
Happy that Lisa was showing interest in his trip, Jim's smile grew. "The trip went well. We probably will need to attend several more trips to solidify the deal. I will have to send Alicia and a couple of the other guys to lock up the project."
Lisa's breath caught in her throat hearing that Jim would need to send Alicia on trips away from her. She took a large gulp of her wine to try to settle her nerves.
When they completed their meal, Lisa declined dessert. Jim ordered a cup of coffee as a way to prolong the evening.
"Lisa do you know why I wanted to meet you here?" Jim asked appearing a bit nervous and agitated.
Feeling her nervousness began to rise she made a flippant response. "Because the food is good and it's not too far from the house."
Smiling he answered, "Well there is that. This is where I took you for our first date." Lisa just looked intensely at him until Jim continued to talk. "Lisa you know that I love you. I know that things have not been the best with us for awhile. This trip was a good time for me to think about us and where we are going as a couple."
Her face became a mask of confusion and surprise, Lisa quietly asked in wonder, "What are you talking about?"
"I want us to work on getting our marriage back to where it was. I want to try to make it work. What do you think?" Jim said with sincerity.
Lisa closed her eyes and opened them slowly thinking about what he had just told her. Before she knew she wanted to be with Alicia, she was willing to dedicate herself to her marriage. She wondered what his idea of where he thought their marriage was before.
"I don't know what I think. Why the change all of a sudden?"
"I missed you when I was in New York. I know that's not much of an explanation but it's true." Jim hoped that his simple explanation would suffice.
Rubbing the bridge of her nose she asked, "What are you asking from me?" This could have been be the perfect time for her to be honest with Jim but instead she caved.
"Give us a chance. Give me a chance," Jim said with a desperate expression in his voice. "Don't answer right now. Let's just go home and see where we go from there."
He stood up and placed money on the table and put his hand out for her to take. She looked at his hand for several long moments before she took it. They walked to the coat check and retrieved his luggage. The drive home would have been quiet if not for Jim's manic speech. He talked about all the things he wanted to do differently. Lisa was only half listening as she put all of her attention on the road as she drove home while mentally kicking herself for not being honest.
Once they were home, Jim became amorous. He wrapped Lisa tightly in an embrace as she was trying to change for bed. She was able to finally persuade him into just cuddling after convincing him that she was too tired and he should rest after his long flight. He agreed after she agreed to a romantic evening the next day. She reluctantly agreed with a fake smile and a chaste kiss. Inwardly her heart was breaking because she wanted to spend a romantic evening with Alicia and she was doing all she could to keep her guilt clamped down about her cowardice about her unwillingness to tell Jim the truth. She knew she was playing a dangerous game with Alicia and Jim's heart not to mention her own.
Chapter 9
Alicia had her cell phone set up ready to take a call in hopes that Lisa would call. She almost giggled when she saw the name on her caller ID. She answered with heightened enthusiasm, "Hi baby! I'm so glad to hear your voice. Are you at work?"
"Hi. I called in sick today," Lisa said sadly.
Hearing the tone in her lover's voice she asked, "What's the matter baby? Are you okay? You sound so sad."
She tried hard to hide the fact that she was crying. She didn't want Alicia to know how weak she was and her sense disgust at herself that she was being such a coward. "I couldn't go to work today. I've missed you so much. I can't stand not being able to see you, I just miss you. Can we meet for lunch today? I have to see you. Feel you. Kiss you."
Alicia sucked in a deep breath hearing what Lisa wanted to do. "I miss you and I want to see you too. I have to be sure that Jim doesn't want to have an all day meeting to go over what he did in New York. How about we meet for dinner?"
Lisa tried to suppress the sob that escaped when she heard Lisa talk about dinner. She had to find the courage to talk to Jim and claim who she really was. Not able to hold back the tears she said, "I won't be able to meet you for dinner tonight. Jim wants to take me for... a romantic dinner. I'm so sorry! I'm such a coward. I'm so sorry Alicia; I couldn't tell him that I love you last night. You must hate me. I hate me." Lisa was nearing hysteria as she voiced her self-loathing and cowardice. She knew that she had ruined the best relationship she had ever had. She knew the kindest thing she could do is end things with Alicia but the only thing she could think to do right then was end the phone call.
Alicia could hear her uncontrollable sobs right before the phone went silent. Lisa didn't even give her a chance to say anything she just hung up. She immediately turned her car around and headed to Lisa's home. She called the office to inform them that she wasn't feeling well and may not make it to work this morning or at all depending on how she felt. She didn't feel bad about calling in because she wasn't feeling well now knowing how distraught her love was.
Alicia hurried to Lisa's door. She knocked anxiously for several minutes becoming worried that she was taking so long to come to the door. When she heard her finally turn the lock on the door, Alicia let out a deep sigh of relief. Lisa looked as if she had been crying nonstop. Alicia immediately pulled her into her arms.
"Shh...It's okay baby. I'm here. I love you." She quietly spoke as she placed soft kisses over her face as she held her close. She felt the woman tremble with each sob as she leaned into her embrace. Realizing that they were standing on the front porch she gently said, "Let's go inside and sit down." Lisa held on so tight as if Alicia was her lifeline that was keeping her from drowning as she was led into the living room to sit on the couch.
Alicia just held her lover and rocked her tenderly for quite a few long minutes and she whispered comforting words to her trying to get her to calm down. After awhile she heard Lisa's breathing begin to calm and her tears had stopped. She lifted Lisa's chin so she could look her in the face. When she saw her red tear soaked eyes, Alicia gave her as bright a smile as she could manage even though she knew it wouldn't be reflected back to her.
Lisa turned and buried her head against Alicia's chest not being able to bear having her look at her knowing that she was such a coward.
"Don't smile at me. Why are you even here? You should be at work." Lisa was talking in a low strained voice.
Looking down at the sad woman, she chuckled lightly. "You should be at work too. And why shouldn't I smile at you? I'm happy to be here with you and hold you. I love you."
"You shouldn't love me. I don't deserve to be loved by you."
"You love me right?" She didn't wait for her answer. "I deserve to love you. We will get through this baby." Alicia lifted Lisa's head so she was facing her. She looked deeply into her eyes and then leaned in and gave her a soft sensuous kiss. Lisa tried to resist but her emotions and the love she felt for her took over and she returned the kiss.
The couple continued to kiss and hold each other until their passion took over and they made love on the floor of the living room. Lisa's uncontrollable urge for Alicia and her need to make herself feel better made their lovemaking fierce and animalistic lacking the tenderness that was present before that had connected the two of them. Alicia knew that Lisa was struggling to establish a connection between them and that her intensity was fear driven. She just held her and let her cry in her arms after they both had climaxed.
Lisa had fallen asleep due to pure emotional exhaustion. Before going to asleep in Alicia's arms she felt the comfort and love that she had grown to take pleasure in. When she awoke an hour later, it took her several moments to take in the reality of the situation since Alicia placed a soft kiss on her forehead when she began to stir.
"How are you feeling baby," Alicia asked hoping that she had worked through what was bothering her.
Sitting up to face the woman who held her she gave her a weak smile. "I'm feeling better. Thank you for coming over. I know I was pretty out of it." Lisa captured Alicia eyes with a serious look. "Why are you still here? It would be so much easier for you to be with someone who doesn't have the issues I have. I am being so cruel to you and Jim because I can't make a fucking decision!"
Alicia was taken aback by Lisa's use of language. She had never heard her cuss since she had known her. She decided to approach her as calm as she could hoping that she would remain calm. "Lisa, why is it so hard for you to make a decision? Are you afraid to be with me or are you afraid to leave Jim?"
Her serious look changed to one of despair. Why was it so hard to make a decision? She loved Alicia with all her heart. She did love Jim but was no longer in love with him. It should be easy to just choose Alicia. But her whole identity was now tied up in being married...to a man.
Lisa dropped her head not being able to hold eye contact with Alicia any longer. "I'm afraid. I'm so afraid." That was the only explanation she could give.
"What are you afraid of?"
"What my life would be like with you and what it will be like without you."
"What do you want more? A life with me or a life without me?" Alicia held her breath unintentionally after she asked the question.
Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes she responded, "I want you." She opened her eyes and saw the brightest smile. "But I'm not ready to tell him." There was the slightest of flicker in the smile before her. For a moment she had thought she had lost but was startled when her hand was clasped by the owner of that bright smile.
"It's clear you are not ready to tell him yet but you want me. And that means more to me than you will ever know. I am willing to take what you can give me right now. I know we will be together." Alicia gently cupped Lisa's cheek and smiled again. "I'm hungry. Do you want to have lunch here or go somewhere?"
She couldn't believe the depth of love coming from this woman. She was still willing to wait for her. Lisa knew she could no longer deny the love that Alicia felt for her and she would have to try harder to find the courage to finally be honest with everyone especially Jim.
"I will make us something here. I'm not ready to share you with anyone right now. And besides I look a mess." She bent her head so she could place a sweet kiss in her palm. "Come on we can make it together." She gave her kiss on the lips and stood taking her with her and walked to the kitchen.
After they ate, they made love again. This time it was tender, loving and passionate. Both their desires were able to be met where they both felt fulfilled and content. Alicia pulled herself away from Lisa very reluctantly as she knew she should make an appearance at the office and check in with Jim. She also wanted to give Lisa enough time to pull herself together for her dinner with Jim. But secretly she was hoping that she would occupy Jim's time that he would have to postpone his dinner with her lover.
Chapter 10
When Alicia called Lisa to inform her of her upcoming trip, Lisa pulled all of her feelings into herself that she almost seemed not affected by the news.
"Baby, I have to leave tomorrow. I want to see you tonight." Before she could present an argument Alicia quickly added what she thought would be good excuse. "Tell Jim you are helping me pick out outfits to bring with me to wear for my business meetings." She knew that this reasoning would work on Jim since he still carried the stereotypical views of lesbians and their fashion sense. "It should be easy for you to stay the night. You can just leave here to go to work in the morning after staying up so late." Alicia knew she sounded like she was begging and was but she really wanted to spend the night with her. She was worried that this much time apart might shake Lisa's resolve to want to be with her. She knew she was being silly but just in case she wanted at least one more night.
"Alright sweetheart. I will pick up dinner and see you around 7," Lisa stated in a flat tone.
Alicia was so happy that Lisa agreed that she didn't pay much attention to the tone of her voice.
Once Lisa got to Alicia's place she was still trying to maintain the tight grip she had on her emotions. She walked straight to the kitchen where she deposited the bags containing their dinner and went to the refrigerator to pour herself a large glass of wine without bothering to offer to get Lisa a glass.
"Lisa, what's wrong?" Alicia asked as she walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder.
Taking a deep breath she turned so her back was facing her lover. "I don't want to let my feelings out because I'm afraid that I won't be able to reel them back in. I'm going to miss you."
Alicia went up to the stoic woman and turned her around so she facing her. She leaned in and gave her a tender kiss on her forehead. "Oh baby, I'm going to miss you too. You don't have to hide your feelings from me, ever. I wanted you to come over tonight so I could show you how much I am going to miss you." She gave her a sweet smile and a tender kiss. "Let's eat and then you can help me pack. Then I can help you get undressed."
This last comment garnered a genuine smile from Lisa and she took her hand leading her to where the food was on the counter. Lisa was happy the Alicia had already packed for her trip. So after they finished dinner they spent the rest of the evening talking and making love.
The next morning both women were all smiles as Lisa dropped Alicia off at the airport. They shared a passionate kiss goodbye and vowed to see each other when she returned. They promised each other that they would talk every evening by phone however they could manage it. Lisa's mood from yesterday appeared to have lifted after her night of lovemaking with Alicia.
True to their word, they talked each night on the phone. At first Lisa was able to steal away in the house to enjoy a five to ten minute phone call. They had to talk in code and use other euphemisms to express themselves. But it still lacked the intensity of their passion and love they were feeling.
When Alicia said that she would have to stay longer than she first expected to, Lisa became very frustrated. She would have to be away from her lover and she was finding it difficult to say what she wanted with Jim in earshot.
She wished she had a dog or at least a friend with a dog, that way she could go for a walk and it wouldn't seem strange to Jim. But knowing him he would take it as an opportunity to spend more time with her. She tried to stay longer at work hiding herself in her car as she tried to speak her heart to Alicia but became awkward when her co-workers would knock on her car window asking if there was a problem. She realized after the fifth interruption that staying late at work wasn't working. So she decided that she would use the drive home and find errands to do so it would extend the time she would spend on the phone. Jim would call her wondering where she was at when she wasn't home. She would tell she was running an errand to the store, needing to do a welfare check on a client or any other excuse that Jim would not question too much.
"Where did you tell Jim you are going to tonight?" Alicia lightly teased.
Grunting sarcastically, Lisa responded, "I told him I needed a new bra and New Port mall was having a sale. I asked him if he wanted me to get him new boxers."
"You didn't! What if he would have said yes?" she laughed.
"I guess the shoppers at the mall would overhear more than they bargained for." Lisa had a wicked tone to her voice.
Becoming aroused at the game they were about to play, she softly asked, "Are you wearing that black lace bra that rides just above those beautiful erect nipples of yours?"
"Yes. But my nipples would be hard if someone was sucking them." Lisa pulled her car over and found a spot at far end where there were only a few cars of the parking lot in the New Port Mall. She knew if they kept this up, she would no longer be able to safely drive the car. This way she could put all her focus on Alicia.
They continued on with the verbal sexual seduction until they were wet and moaning for release.
Lisa wished she was there to hold her as they both came down from their bliss. When she was composed enough to drive home, she begged Alicia to stay on the phone with her until she was home. They talked about all the things they wanted to do together, the love they had for each other and what they wanted to do when they saw each other again. When Lisa finally made home they reluctantly said their goodnights.
Closing her eyes tightly she flung herself forcefully on the mattress in her hotel room that suddenly felt too small and wept into the pillow. Alicia had been trying so hard to be strong for Lisa but she wasn't sure how much longer she could be this patient. She sent a heartfelt prayer that Lisa would soon find the courage to tell Jim. She didn't care if she was fired; she only wanted it to be done so they could begin. She had even put out a couple feelers about other jobs in the off chance that things didn't go well for her.
Taking it out of her pocket she smiled seeing who it was from but formed a grimace when she read the message.
Can't call you tonight. I have to take care of something
She realized that she would not be able to function in her meetings the rest of the day and decided to take the rest of the day off in order to get her head together so she could finish up her trip and get back home.
Chapter 11
Lisa felt so loved, wanted and lonely after her phone call with Alicia. Jim wondered why she came home with a goofy smile on her face after shopping for a bra. She simply told him she got a really exceptional deal. He just shrugged his shoulders and got a beer before turning on ESPN. Lisa said she was tired and went to bed. He mumbled something unintelligible as she went to the bedroom. She knew he would struggle trying to give them a chance, not that she wanted to put any effort into trying. Still on an emotional high from her phone call with Alicia, she went to bed hoping she would dream about making love to her all night long.
When Jim came to bed he saw his wife had the most satisfied grin on her face and he knew in his heart that the look wasn't for him. Even though he always wanted their marriage to work especially when he came back from New York he had to face the fact that their marriage was over when she accepted his marriage proposal.
...six months before Jim and Lisa's wedding
He had taken her to an expensive trendy French restaurant. Knowing that she was not much into jewelry, he found an elegant but simple ring. All during dessert he was fiddling in his pocket playing with the ring box waiting for the perfect time to spring it on her. He had ordered two glasses of champagne to be delivered while he made his proposal. Taking her hand he took the ring out of his pocket which he had maneuvered out of its box and held it up to her.
Lisa seemed to be holding back tears. Thinking back on it now, she appeared to have a look of fear. And the way he asked her to marry him didn't make it any better.
"Lisa, this is something I have been thinking about doing for awhile. We have been together for almost nine months and I think it's been pretty okay wouldn't you agree? I think we should make it permanent. I know my folks would love that. They really like you and think you are good for me. I guess they are right. I know your folks would like it knowing that their baby is being taken care. So what do you say, will you marry me?"
He slyly signaled the waiter over with the two glasses. He placed the ring on her finger and waited for her answer. Being so caught up in the moment, he thought she had said yes when the waiter had said champagne as he placed it in front of her. Jim became so excited that he leaped up, took her in his arms and kissed her passionately. Lisa became so wrapped up in the heighten emotion of the moment she couldn't think what her answer was. She loved Jim but she wasn't sure if she was in love with him. She figured it must be love since everyone thought it was a good idea, everyone but her.
"Baby I'm so happy. Let's call our folks right now and tell them right now." Jim was so excited that he pulled his cellphone out of his coat jacket and dialed his parents. After he excitedly told his parents the news he thrust the phone to Lisa.
"Yes. It's exciting. No we haven't picked a date. I haven't told my parents yet. Yes, I'm sure they will be excited too. Thank you. Here's Jim." The phone call felt like it took place in a haze. Before she was able to gain her equilibrium Jim was thrusting the phone in her face again. This time it was her parents.
She had a very similar conversation with her parents except for the fact that her mother was already beginning to plan the wedding between her joyful sobs. At that moment Lisa realized that she was marrying Jim.
Focusing again on his wife, he reached over and lightly brushed the hair off her face and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. He went back into the living room and watched more TV on mute. He left for work before she awoke.
Waking with a satisfied look on her face, Lisa stretched and instinctively reached over to the other side of the bed expecting to feel the soft skin of her lover, Alicia. She was disappointed when she realized it was just the residual feelings from her dream. Then she noticed that Jim was gone and by the temperature and condition on his side he did not come to bed at all.
As she ate her breakfast, she thought again about last night and the fact that Jim had not come to bed. Placing the spoon to her mouth of peach yogurt she stopped as she experienced a defining moment of clarity. She knew what she needed to do.
All day at work she had a lightness and clarity about her. She felt better about life than she had in a long time. When she took a break she took her cell phone and sent a quick text message. She knew the text would be upsetting but she wanted to be free this evening to take care of business. Her next call was to Jim.
"Hi Jim. Got a minute to talk?" she said calmly.
Surprised that Lisa called him in the middle of the day, he quickly responded, "Yeah. What's up honey?"
"We need to talk. I don't want to do this over the phone. Can we meet for dinner tonight? How about Andre's Bistro on 5th at 6:30?"
"You're not going to tell me what we need to talk about are you? Andre's sounds good. See you there. They have a decent bar don't they?" Jim was not trying to sound too nervous since he was pretty sure what they needed to talk about.
"Yeah there is a bar. If you get there before me order me a whisky sour. If I get there before you I'll order you a straight bourbon. See ya there," she said with a light laugh.
As she went to her car to meet Jim she thought about the text she sent this morning and the reaction it probably received since she didn't a return text. She didn't want her to think she didn't want to talk with her that was farthest from the truth. She was doing this for her, for them all of them. If a message was sent now there was the possibility she wouldn't get it until tomorrow but she would still get it. Sitting behind the steering wheel she tried to compose a message that would say what was in her heart.
Never doubt I love you. I'm doing this for us. We will be together soon.
Jim was sitting at the table near the back wall with two drinks on the table. She could tell by the color in his cheeks that he was at least on his second one. He waved her over when he saw her. She gave him a knowing smirk looking at the drinks on the table.
"Second or third?" she plainly asked pointing at the glass taking the seat next to his.
"Third. Rough day at work."
"I guess we better order some food then or I'm gonna have to take your keys. Did you have a chance to look at the menu?" Lisa wondered if he really had a rough day or if he was concerned about what she wanted to talk about. "Maybe you should give me your keys just in case."
Lisa made sure he ordered something hearty and a big glass of water. She didn't want to address what had brought them there until Jim had his food to help with his absorption of the alcohol he was consuming. Having eaten there several times with Alicia, she knew they were quick getting the food out. They engaged in mundane small talk until their food arrived.
"So are you going to tell me what we need to talk about?" Jim said between bites of his food.
Taking a deep breath, she put her fork down, looked deeply at Jim and gave him a sad smile.
"Why did you say that you wanted to work on our marriage a few weeks ago? We never really talked about it." Lisa had felt too guilty to ask him what he meant.
"I love you. I thought that we were slipping apart and wanted to try to...I don't know...fix it."
Taking a deep breath, Lisa launched into what she needed to say. She felt it was kinder to be upfront with him instead of dancing around the issue. "Jim I love you but I'm not in love with you. You are a good and kind man. But let's face it, our marriage has always been a struggle. We are better friends than husband and wife. We both deserve to be in love," Lisa said more quickly then she wanted to. "I'm gay Jim. I finally found the courage to be honest with myself."
He just looked at her not really appearing stunned by her revelation, more disappointed that he wasted both their time and energy for them to end up here. Thinking back to his thoughts about how they got engaged, he should have known that he wasn't the one for her.
"Are you seeing anyone?" He looked at her seriously as she dropped her eyes to her plate. "It's Alicia isn't it?" She quickly looked up at him and then down at the table but did not say anything. "Well at least you have good taste. It makes me kinda jealous." Jim didn't appear to be anger just sad.
"I'm so sorry. I never intended for any of this to happen. She helped me realize what I have been hiding from. I fought my feelings for her for a long time." Lisa finally returned his look with tears in her eyes. Jim tentatively reached over to hold her hand which she did not expect but didn't resist. "Please don't blame her Jim."
"I think I have always known that I pressured you into marrying me. Your folks also helped with my cause. The woman that I fell in love with was more a part of my wishful thinking than the woman that agreed to marry me. A part of you died somewhat the day we got married and I'm sorry for that. But watching you with Alicia, you have never seemed more alive and happy. I love you enough to know when to let you go so you can truly be happy."
She had a shocked look on her face, never expecting Jim to make such a declaration. She realized that this was the man that made her believe that marrying him was the right thing to do. Tears began to roll slowly down her face as she reached up to gently cup his cheek.
"When you say things like that, this is why I love you. Why do you think you forced me into marrying you? We were both there and I could have backed out anytime. I thought getting married would make me happy. It did for awhile but I could see it wasn't making either of us happy. Me being honest about who I really am is the only way I can be happy. We both deserve to be happy."
"I think I have always known but hoped it wasn't true. Maybe that's why I pushed so hard for you to marry me." Jim chuckle softly realizing how ridiculous his logic was. "I think I finally accepted it when I saw how you were with Alicia. When I realized I was jealous of you when you were with her because she seemed attracted to you and not me, I knew I had some thinking to do."
Not being able to suppress her own laughter she said, "How did you get so enlightened? "
"I'm not that enlightened, but I have become more realistic," he said laughing along with her. "Why did you want to have this talk here and not at home?"
Barely getting her laughter under control she said, "If you haven't guessed already I can be a chickenshit when it comes to telling people how I feel. I figured if we met as soon as I built up the nerve to talk to you it would be easier to follow through with it." Becoming more serious she added, "If we did it at home I would probably back out because I would have gone into the habits that I normally fall into at home. Do you want to go home now that we got the big stuff out?"
Laughing lightly Jim responded with a wry look, "Well since we talked about the big stuff... if we were home we could drink freely while we continue to talk without worrying who's going to drive home."
Returning his laugh, she said, "That would be easier. That way we could pass out some place comfortable." They both laughed heartedly until there were tears in their eyes. Neither sure if the tears were from the humor of the moment or the sadness of the situation.
"Yeah. Let's go home and finish talking there," he said once he gained control of his breathing.
Having sobered enough to drive home by himself, Jim couldn't help but laugh. He laughed at himself, he laughed at the fact that his marriage was over and laughed at the reality that his wife was a lesbian and in love with his project manager. He even laughed as he turned into the liquor store and went to the cashier as he purchased an expensive bottle of bourbon. He figured if his life was ending as he knew it, it deserved to be eulogized with something worthy of the occasion.
Lisa was feeling lighter and happier than she had felt in years. She knew she shouldn't be feeling this good knowing that Jim may be feeling horrible. But she couldn't help herself now that she was free to love and be with Alicia. Consumed with thoughts of Alicia she did not pay attention to where she was driving. When she realized where she was at, she pulled her phone out of her bag. It was the park they walked through on their first date. Looking at the time, she realized it was too late to call so she figured she would send her a text so that she would wake up to it.
I can't wait to see you. I have so much to tell you.
The couple spent the next several hours drinking and talking about their lives and their futures. It was the most real and genuine conversation that they had ever had. Lisa found the courage to share more with him about the love she felt for Alicia. He was sad to hear the reality of her new found love and envious that it could not have been him. It made him laugh to hear that she was as neurotic with her as she was with him when they had first started to date. When she frowned at him, he blamed it on the booze. Then they both started to laugh.
She was able to talk about her fears regarding this new chapter in her life. He disclosed that he was insecure of finding a woman that he could love like her. He giggled when said that he was afraid that he might turn another gay. Recognizing that Jim was drunk she couldn't help but wonder if what he was saying wasn't due to the bourbon loosening his inhabitations. But she knew him well enough that he had a hard time hiding his feelings especially when he was drinking. So she knew he was talking from his heart. Understanding his pain her heart felt a deep pang of guilt from breaking his heart and at the same time feeling more love for him.
"Jim you know I still love you even if I am not in love with you. You are a good man and you will find the right woman who will be lucky to have you," Lisa said with a smile as she held his hand. She knew it would be true that he would find the right woman.
Giving Lisa a genuine although alcohol influenced smile he said, "Thanks. You realize that the bar is pretty high." Trying to wink, he slurred, "If Alicia treats you bad I'll kick her ass. But for now I can tease the hell out of her." She started to laugh as he became unsteady sitting on the couch.
Seeing Jim barely able to keep his eyes open she got up and pulled him to his feet leading him to the bedroom. "I think you have had enough. You are going to be so hung over at work tomorrow." She had a smirk on her face glad that she switched early on to water.
Comprehending that he was heading toward their bedroom he got a wicked grin on his face and looked at his ex-wife to be with a lascivious look in his eyes. "Hee hee, one more for old time's sakes."
Slapping his arm, "Jim even if I was going to be generous with you, you'll be passed out before your head hits the pillow." Struggling to keep him upright as they made their way to the bed she almost fell. She tried to sit him on the bed gently but true to her prediction he fell backwards and was out cold. As she took his shoes off and lifted his legs into the bed, she laughed, "Goodnight Casanova." She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for being one of the good guys," she whispered as she placed the blanket over him.
Lisa thought for a moment of sleeping in the spare room but recognized that that was silly because she knew that nothing was going to happen plus she still was married to the man. Besides she wanted to feel the warmth of sleeping next to Jim especially since she couldn't sleep next to one she truly wanted to be next to. Prior to getting into bed she got a large glass of water and two aspirins and set them next to his side of the bed knowing he will need it when he woke. As she closed her eyes her last thoughts were of the happiness she would feel telling Alicia her news tomorrow.
Chapter 12
She had figured out what needed to happen to make the deal work for both companies after the first few days. Now she had to convince the suits at the table so she could go home. Again she wondered why she pushed herself so hard to be the top of her game working for top companies especially Fortune 500 wannabes. These guys at the table were doing everything to boast about how important they were to compensate for their 'shortcomings' that it took everything for Alicia to not roll her eyes every time they tried to prove how good their product was.
Alicia stood at the front of the table and looked at men who varied in different ages and sizes as she prepared to give her presentation. 'They must all buy their suits at the same store,' she chuckled to herself as she pulled out the bound presentation packets from the box on the floor. Passing a packet to each man at the table she made sure she gave each of them her most engaging smile. She wasn't above pulling out every trick in the book including flirting to get this over with as quick as possible. She knew that none of the men had a snowball's chance with her anyway.
"Gentlemen. What you have in front of you is our proposal to take your product to the next level," she said in her most enthusiastic voice. "I have laid out our plan to illustrate our point by point strategy. Now if you open to the first page you can follow along with the powerpoint presentation. The first step..." Alicia began to go through each point of the proposal as quickly as possible hoping that there would not be too many questions or objections.
Being well into her proposal and happy that she had the attention of the men at the table, Alicia didn't detect the woman that quietly entered the room and sat at the far end of the table. Hearing a few voices talking in low tones at that end of the table drew her attention. That's when she realized that a woman had entered the room.
Walking a booklet down to her as she finished detailing her current point, Alicia noticed how beautiful the woman was. "He...Hello," she stammered. "You didn't miss much, you're pretty...it's pretty much spelled out in the booklet. Please feel free to ask any questions you might have." Alicia quickly stopped talking and walked back to the projector. She silently chastised herself for almost flirting with the woman hoping no one else noticed. She focused on finishing her presentation so she could make a hasty exit from the room not wanting to risk any personal interaction with the woman being that they had not been introduced.
Finally coming to the end of her presentation and answering all the questions to everyone's satisfaction she quickly gathered her things in preparation to leave. So focused on her task, the woman managed to walk up next to her. Lightly clearing her throat Alicia jumped startled by the sound and her proximity to her.
"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you that your presentation was very informative." She gave Alicia a warm apologetic smile as she lightly touched her arm. "My name is Peggy Carmichael. I'm the director of Advertising."
'Shit!' Alicia screamed in her head. 'She's the one I have to impress if I'm going to get out of here early.' She kept reminding herself that she had a girlfriend, almost girlfriend I think. Thinking about how the last few weeks had been going she wasn't sure what they were to each other. All she really knew is that she loved Lisa.
"Alicia," she said as you offered her hand. As she clasped her hand in hers she noticed that she had the softest hands as if she spent a great deal of time on her skin care routine "I'm glad you found my presentation informative. Being the director of advertising, you must be the one I need to impress to close the deal." She laughed lightly hoping that she was winning her over. She also tried not to give her direct eye contact. Peggy had the most alluring grey eyes Alicia had ever seen. The tailored suit she was wearing highlighted her eyes not to mention accented the curves of her body.
Returning the laugh, Peggy responded, "Well, I guess I am the main one who needs to be won over. Maybe we discuss your proposal more in depth over drinks and dinner. That way I can also apologize for not being present for your other meetings with my staff. You'd be happy to know that my team was impressed with you and felt that I would be as well. After what I saw, I think they are right."
Alicia stared at her with wide eyes. 'Is she flirting with me? I think she's flirting with me.' She tried to think of anything so that she didn't have to be alone with her and still not alienate her. "Should we invite Alex since he has been acting as your lieutenant in your absence?"
Appearing a bit put off she looked at the gentlemen in question. "I guess we can ask him. I know he likes to get home after work since he and his wife became parents six months ago." She looked back at Alicia and then turned to address Alex. "Alex, Alicia and I were going to get some dinner and talk about her proposal. Care to join us?"
Alicia knew she wasn't going to be able to compete with a new baby and would have to put up her defenses to deal with Peggy. She did want to close the deal so she could go home. Her biggest concern is that she missed Lisa so much she was afraid that she might start to flirt back out of frustration especially since they had not spoken in almost two days and she wasn't sure what was going on with Lisa. She mentally kicked herself for thinking that she could be that weak to even think about wanting to be with this woman when she knew she had the perfect woman for her at home.
"Peggy I would love to but Tess and I are taking Carla to get family photos tonight. And Tess would kill me if I didn't show up. Maybe we can meet for breakfast to finalize everything." Jim was friendly in his reply as he gathered his papers and quickly made his way to the door. "Call or email me about breakfast. Goodnight Alicia and thanks for an informative presentation." He waved as he opened the conference room door to leave.
"Give Tess and Carla my love." Peggy called to Alex before turning to face Alicia again. "It looks like it's just us. What do you feel like eating? There's a great Italian place not far from here. What do you think?" Peggy gave her a warm smile with a twinkle in her eyes.
Trying to hide her sigh Alicia lowered her gaze from the woman facing her. "Yeah, Italian sounds good. I will meet you in the downstairs lobby in thirty minutes."
"Great. It's a date." Peggy gently laid her hand on her shoulder ensuring that she made eye contact with her. She then left to go to her office.
Left alone in the conference room, Alicia felt very lonely. As she packed up the remainder of her things she started to talk aloud to herself. "This is stupid. You know you want to call her. She only said she couldn't talk to you last night, she didn't say she didn't want to talk to you." Tossing the last of her papers in her briefcase, she remembered that she had put her phone in the bottom of her bag.
The door to the conference room swung open hurriedly and drew her attention to the balding middle aged man coming through.
"Oh good I caught you before you left," he said with ragged breaths as if he ran to make sure he would find her in the room. "Peggy said that you two were going to have dinner to finalize your proposal. I have a few questions on how our next product can be launched on the heels of this one. Do you have a few minutes to answer some questions? It would really help my team finalize some things."
Bert was the head of the R&D department and was responsible for their current product getting ready to launch. She knew Jim would be pleased if we could sew up representing both products and anything else that might spring from these meetings. Knowing that it would definitely put another feather in her cap, she also realized it also might keep her further away from her goal to get back to Lisa.
Taking a deep breath, Alicia smiled as she responded, "Yeah I have a few minutes before I need to meet Peggy. You know you can join us since we are going to be talking shop over Italian.
There was an odd gleam in Bert's eyes almost an impish look. "No thanks. My questions won't take that long. Besides I think the boss lady wants to take care of business herself."
"O...kay," she answered with a cautious tone unsure of what he was alluding to with his comment of 'wanting to take care of business herself.' She was trying to not make anything of the comment but couldn't help but feel her gaydar tingling. She decided to focus her mind on something besides the comment. "Sorry you can't join us. So what are your questions?"
Twenty minutes later she was able to pack up her materials, put it in the trunk of her rental car and make it back to the lobby to meet Peggy. Alicia couldn't help but admire her classic beauty as she leaned up against the receptionist desk chatting with the girl who manned the front reception area. Standing from afar she could get a good look at the woman. She appeared to be in her mid forties but she wore her age well. By the sharp definition to the muscles in her legs accented by her 'fuck me' pumps, it was very clear that she was in excellent shape. Alicia sighed and wondered if she could get away with dressing like her when she turned 40.
Peggy noticed Alicia standing by the elevator and rushed over thinking she was on her way back up to her office. Walking over to greet her she called out her name, "Alicia! Are you ready to eat? I hope you weren't going up to my office."
"No I just came from the garage to put my materials in my rental."
Looking surprised she asked, "You got a rental to get around Manhattan? Brave woman. You don't like to take taxis?"
Realizing that it would seem strange to someone who lived in the city to drive when it was probably quicker to just take a cab. She laughed. "I just got the rental for two days because I had to cart all my presentation material around. I didn't want to run the risk of leaving it in a cab. Then you really wouldn't approve of the proposal thinking I was an airbrain."
Peggy laughed good naturedly at her explanation as they walked outside in the cool early evening fall air to hail a cab for the restaurant.
Alicia offered to drive but Peggy assured her that she could get her car out of the garbage when they were done with dinner. After the five minute taxi ride, she realized it made more since to leave the car and take a cab.
They were seated quickly at the restaurant. Peggy must come here often since the staff knew her by first name. She ordered an expensive bottle of red wine and recommended the Gnocchi. The waiter came over with the wine and a complimentary appetizer which confirmed Alicia's impression that she comes there a lot and carried a lot of influence.
"You must eat here regularly?
"I entertain quite a few important business clients here," she said with a smile.
A cell phone rang and Alicia recognizing it as her ring reached in her bag and then realized that she had put a copy of the proposal in her smaller bag instead of bringing her briefcase.
"Shit!"
"What's the matter? Did you forget something?"
Looking dejected Alicia sighed with an angry tone, "I forgot my phone in my briefcase."
"I know how you feel. I feel almost naked without my phone," Peggy said trying to console her.
"I was kinda waiting on a call." Peggy's eyebrows went up as if asking the question who from. Alicia took a sip of her wine and stared at the deep ruby liquid in the glass before continuing. "I was hoping that my girlfriend would call. We haven't had a chance to talk in two days because of our schedules. This may sound sappy but I miss hearing her voice."
This time Peggy took a long drink of her wine as she gave the young woman a look over the top of her glass. Placing the glass back on the table she gave Alicia a sweet smile. "I don't think it's sappy. How long have you two been together?"
"Not very long but we have known each other for almost a year." She ran her finger around the rim of her wine glass as she smiled fondly as she thought about Lisa.
"I bet you are anxious to get this wrapped up so you can get back to her." Watching her nod her head enthusiastically, she thought to herself, 'Oh well, she's too young for me anyway. But damn she's beautiful.'
Before Peggy was able to ask any further questions about the girlfriend their dinner arrived. They spent dinner making casual conversations as they ate. Peggy asked general questions about Alicia's girlfriend but down played any questions she was asked about her love life. After they finished their dinner, they delved into the final points of the proposal. Remembering what it was like to be young and in love, she focused on fine-tuning the points that were critical for her company.
"Alicia I think that about wraps it up. I'm glad Bert had an opportunity to talk you about the upcoming product launch. I think that your company will be very profitable for us."
"Well I'm glad you are happy. Is there anything else you would like for me to provide for you?" Alicia asked the question not noticing the half smile on the older woman's face.
"No I don't think so, you were very thorough. I look forward to working with you on our next product launch. Now you can get back home to your lady love." Peggy smiled brightly giving her a wink.
Returning the smile with equal brightness, Alicia replied, "Yeah I can't wait to see her. We have so much to talk about it."
"Maybe when you come back to solidify the next project, you can bring her with you. Has she ever been to New York?"
"No she has never been. She would love to see a Broadway show. Thank you Peggy for being able to wrap this up so quickly. I think our companies will make excellent partners. Jim will be very happy with the results of my trip."
Chapter 13
When Jim got up he found Lisa humming brightly to herself as she was making breakfast. If his head wasn't pounding he would have felt upset for the reason she was in such a happy mood but now he was only feeling irritated that the humming was not helping his hangover.
When Lisa noticed that Jim was up and looking a bit peaked, she took pity on him.
"How are you feeling? Did you take the aspirin and water I left on your side of the bed?"
Clearing his throat before speaking he hoarsely replied, "I feel like shit. Thanks for the water and aspirin. I woke up around 5:30 and took them but I still feel like shit."
Trying hard to hide her smile she handed him a cup of black coffee. "Want something to eat?" She already knew the answer to that question but she thought she would offer.
"Uggh! God no, unless you want to see it twice. Coffee is fine. Thanks." He took a slow sip of his coffee as he sat at the kitchen table. Leaning forward with his elbows on the table he looked at the steam coming out of his cup. He spoke without looking at Lisa. "How you want to handle this?"
"Handle wh..." She stopped once she realized what he was referring to. "I'm not sure. How do you want to handle this? It affects both of us."
Still looking at his mug, he didn't look up even after Lisa sat across from him. "I guess we will have to talk about living arrangements. Are you going to move in with Alicia or do you want to stay here?"
Not really haven't thought that far ahead she didn't have an answer. She thought about it for a minute before she answered. "I haven't really thought about it. I was just trying to get through telling you first. I have lived with roommates and a husband most of my adult life, I think I want to try to live on my own for awhile."
He finally looked up and gave her a smile. "Maybe we can tell everyone it was a mutual decision, that way we will look like enlightened, mature people who made an adult decision."
"Well, that sounds good but depending on what side of the conservative fence people stand on when they find out that I am gay I'm going to be seen as the bitch who ruined your marriage." Lisa tried to say it with humor but the reality of the situation was ringing loudly.
"Then those people aren't worth being our friends." Jim was trying his best to throw some positivity on the situation.
"That may be fine for me, but some of those people may be your clients and business connections that you can't afford to piss off. I work in a pretty liberal field so it may not affect me so critically. But you, it could mean your livelihood."
"Listen, we can't control what people think. We know the truth and that's all that matters. I'll be fine business wise; they know I can get the job done. The bottom line is all that really matters." He stopped talking for a moment and gave her a sardonic glare. "And don't say it." Jim raised his hand in mock protest.
"Don't say what?"
"Don't say that I am enlightened. I'm just hungover. And I care about you." Jim gave her a kind smile as he gasped her hand. She looked fondly into his eyes wishing that she had not broke his heart but prayed that he would find someone who would see all of his good qualities and forgive his not so good ones.
"So you just want to tell everyone that we are getting a divorce and let the rest sort itself out. Well, you tell your parents and I will tell mine. There's no reason we should go through that torture twice," Lisa said sarcastically.
With a dry grin Jim responded, "How about you tell my parents and I will tell yours?"
"You've met my mother, right?"
"Good point."
"Telling people we are divorcing is the easy part. I have the hard part." Jim could hear the fear in her voice.
"You know you only have to tell those you are comfortable telling. I won't say anything unless you tell me to. The reason why we are not together anymore is between us, no one else."
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she coughed to clear her throat before speaking. "I think I will call in sick to work today so I can look for apartments."
"You don't have to hurry and move out. But I guess I understand why you want to. This is still your home."
They both just sat at the table lost in their own thoughts. Neither one willing to be the first to leave and start their day. Both of them knowing that this would be the last time they would be in this space and time as a married couple. Even though they knew it was for the best for each of them they couldn't help but feel a deep sense of loss.
After several minutes of silence, Jim stood up. Not wanting to experience feeling sad anymore, he announced, "Well I better get ready for work." He placed his cup in the sink and headed toward the bedroom. A few minutes later she heard the shower.
Lisa got herself another cup of coffee and the morning paper. She figured she better call in to her office before she got caught up in looking for an apartment. She found several prospects that looked promising.
Jim came back in the kitchen and filled his travel mug with coffee and saw that Lisa was looking through the rental ads. "Find anything good?"
Looking up she smiled. "Yeah. There are a couple of good prospects but I am not going to know for sure until I go visit them."
Shutting down his instinct to put forward his help knowing that it was important that she do this on her own, he offered a simple, "I'm sure you will find the right place." She answered him with a tender smile. "Well I'm off to work. Alicia should be wrapping up her business meeting soon which means the hard work begins for all of us."
Lisa wasn't sure if his comment was in reference to them or his job; maybe both. As he grabbed his coffee mug and started to head toward the door, a thought occurred to Lisa. "Jim," he walked toward her, "how are you going to deal with Alicia when she comes back to work? I hope this won't make things too difficult for the both of you."
Smiling mischievously, "Like I said last night, as long as she treats you right, all I'm going to do is tease the hell out of her."
As he turned to leave Lisa took his hand to stop him. Looking deep in his eyes she said "Jim, thank you. You didn't have to be so gracious under the circumstances but thank you. I do love you for it. I still love you. Have a good day."
He looked at her as if this was the last time he would ever see her. They locked eyes for a long moment as if they were saying their final goodbyes. He bent down and placed a warm kiss on her cheek and then gently caressed her hair. "It was good for awhile." And then he walked out the door.
She wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement but it was obvious he wasn't looking for a response.
She looked at the door for a few moments after he left and then wondered 'Now what?' She realized that her cell phone was quiet not that she expected Alicia to call figuring she was in her meeting. She went to check to see if there were any messages from the night before. Her heart sank when there were no texts, voicemails or even a missed call. She wondered if she had caused Jim's heartbreak for no reason. Then she guessed that Alicia had taken her seriously about not calling last night. She left her another text hoping that she would call her soon.
She knew it would look silly if she sat home all day waiting for her to call. Besides she did call in sick to look for an apartment, so she better do something with her time. Alicia was working hard to close this major project that she and Jim had been working on for months and she would call when she had the time.
Lisa must have seen over 10 apartments and had narrowed it down to three. It was amazing the exaggeration of many of the ads. There were two places that advertised a beautiful view of the bay. One you would need the eyesight of an eagle to even catch a glimpse of the bay while the other you could see the bay after looking past high rise buildings, the smoke stacks of the cannery and the giant billboard advertising the latest blockbuster movie.
Chapter 14
"Hi honey. I guess you are still in your meetings. I missed you today. I have so much to tell you. I can't wait to see you. I miss you. Call me. I love you." She hoped she didn't sound too pathetic. After she finished leaving the message she felt sad and lonely.
Trying to shake off her melancholy feelings she called Jim to find out what his plans were for dinner. When he told her that he needed to work late and wouldn't be done until close to eight if she wanted to wait she decided to go home and start to pack.
Lisa made herself some pasta and sat on the couch in front of the TV as she ate. She placed her phone on the cushion next to her. Jim had called earlier and said he was going to grab a bite with his best friend, Pete. She knew he was going to tell him about their breakup. She hoped it would go well for him and he could get support from him.
She sat feeling sorry for herself eating her noodles as she watched another mindless reality television show. When the phone rang she nearly dumped her plate on the floor as she awkwardly reached for it. Finally answering it on the fourth ring she was out of breath from fright and excitement.
"Hello! Hello!"
"Lisa, are you alright? Is something wrong? You sound out of breath."
Getting her breathing under control she happily answered, "Yes I'm fine. The phone just startled me. How are you honey?"
With a smile on her face and in her voice, Alicia responded happily. "I'm fine now that I hear your voice. I will be perfect when I see your beautiful face. What are you doing sweetie?"
Lisa was glad that Alicia couldn't see her blush from her comments. "Eating dinner, watching bad reality TV and missing you. What have you been doing? I was hoping I would have heard from you before now."
She immediately felt bad that she had forgotten her phone when she went to dinner with Peggy. Now she was unsure whether to tell Lisa she had gone to dinner with a woman and forgotten her phone. She didn't want to lie but she didn't want to give Lisa cause to feel concern.
"I'm sorry baby. I was finalizing things. I will only have to be here one more day. I might be able to be home by dinner if I can wrap everything up tomorrow morning." Alicia didn't lie she just didn't reveal all the details. But that didn't make her feel any better.
"That's great. You obviously wowed them with your charms." Lisa was very excited that she would get to see Alicia soon. "I think a beautiful talented woman deserves to be taken to dinner to celebrate tomorrow evening."
"Only if she is accompanied by a gorgeous woman. Can we go to Thai Garden?"
"Anyplace you want."
"You know that I love you. I have missed you so much and I can't wait to see you." Without thinking she went ahead talked about her dinner with Peggy. "I'm hoping that my dinner with Peggy, the director of advertising, answered her question so my meeting will be really quick that way I can catch a morning flight."
"That will be great. Call me and I will pick you up at the airport." Before Alicia she could answer Lisa continued since her curiosity was now piqued not to mention feeling a little jealous. "So...you were at dinner with Peggy this evening. Is she pretty?" She wanted to kick herself for asking but...
"Yes she is pretty but she doesn't hold a candle to you. In fact all I did was talk about you. I think that's what made her finalize the project so quickly because she could see how much I was missing you."
"I bet she tried to hit on you." Lisa knew she didn't have a reason to be feeling so insecure but Alicia was a beautiful woman and who wouldn't want to hit on her.
Alicia lightly laughed. "Are you jealous?" A moment later she took on a serious tone. "Listen baby, she might have hit on me but all I could think of was you. I want you. I love you. I'll leave right now if you want me to."
Once again Lisa was glad that she couldn't see her. Her mood went from curious, jealous to guilty. She knew that Alicia loved her and she had given her no reason to doubt her love for her. She knew that Jim probably met plenty of women when he had business meetings and it didn't bother her. So why did this bother her now. As she thought about it more, a smile came across her face as she realized her answer. The love is different with Alicia then it was with Jim.
To show Alicia that she was okay with everything she decided to have a little fun with her. "So you talked about me. Did you make her jealous? I can't wait to hear what you told her. I hope you didn't tell her anything too juicy but saved all the juicy bits for me."
Sighing in relief, she relaxed knowing that they were fine. "Well I didn't tell her how you giggle when I run my fingers along your hips. Or that your nipples perk up to excited peaks after they have been sucked and I blow softly over them. Are those the juicy bits you were referring to?"
Squirming on the couch as she felt the moisture start to form between her legs, she quickly got off the couch to go get something cool to drink. As much as she would love to play this game with her she knew that Jim would be home soon and she was too tired to go for a drive.
"Yes. Those are the juicy bits I'm glad you didn't talk to her about. Those are the bits I don't want you to talk to me about but I want you to demonstrate only for me. Especially after dinner tomorrow night."
"How about I explain what I will do with you now to make sure it meets with your approval?" Alicia was becoming aroused and didn't want to end their game.
"As much as I would love to hear your list of talents, unfortunately Jim will be home soon and I don't want to be interrupted by him. How about you give me the list when I pick you up from the airport and then you can show me after dinner?"
Sighing dejectedly she tried to think about being with the woman she loved instead of her current disappointment. "If you can't pick me up from the airport, don't worry about it I will just get a shuttle or taxi since I will probably need to stop by the office anyway. It might be safer if I get my own way from the airport. Besides, I don't think when I see you I will be able to concentrate on anything but putting my hands all over you."
"What's wrong with that?" Lisa said in seductive voice.
She heard Alicia suck in a deep breath just as she heard keys jingling in the front door.
"Honey I'm afraid I'm going to have go. Jim just got home. I will talk to you tomorrow." Lisa had a disappointed tone to her voice.
"I will be thinking of you tonight baby. See you tomorrow." Alicia had enough excited arousal in her voice that it made Lisa wet all over again. "I love you."
"I love you," Lisa softly whispered back as she closed her phone right before Jim walked into the living room.
Jim walked over to where Lisa was sitting and sat on the couch next to her. He looked at the TV for awhile before he spoke. Turning to face her he had a sad smile on his face.
"I'm sure you have heard Alicia will wrap things up tomorrow and should be home by the evening. Sounds like things went well. She called me about an hour ago and told me. I figured you were her next call."
"I spoke to her right before you got home. We are meeting for dinner tomorrow night."
"Did you find an apartment?"
"Yeah. I think I found three that look good. I looked at about 10 but after awhile many of them started to look the same. I told them I would make my decision in a few days. Will probably go back and look at them again with fresher eyes." She turned off the TV with the remote and gave attention to Jim.
"Maybe Alicia can help. I can go help you if she can't."
Lisa noticed that although their conversation was stiff and somewhat formal sounding, she knew that Jim was trying to be gracious.
Smiling at him she said, "That's a good idea." She wouldn't confirm who would be a good idea to help her look at apartments. Changing the subject seemed like a good idea. "How was dinner with Pete? How are he and his wife? I don't think I've seen them since the Superbowl party."
Jim rubbed his hands anxiously on his legs. "He's fine. They're fine." He coughed nervously to clear his throat. "I told him about us. Not about you but that we are breaking up. He said that he wasn't surprised. He never thought we were a good match. I'm not sure if he is still pissed because I broke up with his sister in college or he really believed that we weren't a good match."
"I don't know what to say. Was he at least supportive toward you?" She held his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
He looked in her eyes and smiled with a contorted expression on his face. No he wasn't smiling he was trying to hold back a chuckle and keep it from turning into a full on laugh. As he tried to hold it in his face began to change colors and his eyes began to water.
"What's so funny?" Lisa was baffled by his mood after revealing what his best friend told him.
At this he lost his control of trying to keep his laugh under his power and burst out in a belly laugh. Becoming caught up in his laugh; Lisa couldn't help but chuckle with him even though she didn't know exactly why he was laughing.
Getting himself under enough control to speak, he rubbed his hand along her arm. "I'm sorry. I guess I just realized that I am the last one to finally figure out that we should have never gotten married. I was thinking that Pete was going to say 'poor Jim' but he was friend enough to tell me the truth. Like what you did. Tell me the truth." He started to laugh again. "I run a company that's becoming one of the most sought after companies around but apparently I am one of the most densest men around."
This time Lisa couldn't help but laugh. "Jim you are precious. Enlightment does come in stages you know. But at least you are on the right path."
Becoming serious, he said "I hope we can remain friends. We should have just remained friends from the start."
Squeezing his hand she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Jim we will always be friends. It was not a bad thing that we got married. It showed me what a wonderful man you are and gave me the freedom to discover who I really am. I'm just sorry you got hurt in the process."
"I'm not hurt about what happened between us. Well, maybe a little. It's my pride that's hurt most because I couldn't see what was apparently in front of my face. Everybody had to tell me." He chuckled sarcastically. "I will have to crawl into a hole if my folks say that I shouldn't have married you."
"Maybe they just might say that you weren't ready to marry anybody. After all you are still your mama's little boy." Lisa giggled good naturedly.
"Yeah you are probably right. You have to promise me that you will give me advice on the next woman I date to counteract any opinions my parents will try to give."
He placed his arm around her and pulled her to him for a hug. As they sat comfortably with each on the couch he spotted the boxes packed by the wall and looked at her. Noticing the direction of his stare, she looked down at her feet.
"Yeah I decided to start to pack some things. I figured I would treat it like removing a Band-Aid." Seeing his blank expression she continued. "If you rip it off quickly the pain is over sooner than if you slowly take it off. I don't want it to seem that I'm rushing to leave but the longer we drag this out well... I'm hoping to make this easier for both of us. I've also moved into the guest room."
He slowly took his arm from around her. He drew in a deep breath and rubbed his hands on his knees. "I didn't want to think about us sleeping apart but I guess I will have to get use to it. I guess I should treat it like the band-aid huh?"
Lisa didn't know what to say as tears formed in her eyes. She realized it was going to be hard for her as well being in the same house and sleeping apart from him.
"It's going to be hard for me too Jim. But if you want we don't have to start our...separation until tomorrow." Lisa hoped this concession would make him feel better.
He looked at her with love in his eyes and rubbed the back of his hand on her cheek. "No. It's going to happen and I don't want to continue being the last one to the party. Good night. Sleep well." He stood and walked to the bedroom. Before exiting the room he turned and smiled. "You can tell Alicia that the teasing will begin next week as I am going to arrange a conference call so she will not have to come to the office tomorrow. You two have a good weekend. I think I may give my mom a shock and drive up to see her this weekend. See you in the morning."
"Jim." She stopped and just looked at him with intensity that lasted for a long moment and then she turned her head back to the TV. "Goodnight." She wanted to say more but thought it best that he exit with as much of his pride intact.
Lisa palmed her cell phone in her hand toying with the idea of going into the guest room and calling Alicia. She looked at the clock and realized that she was probably asleep by now. She decided not to call off work for the whole day tomorrow. She would work until she got the call from Alicia that way she could make sure everything was in order so that nothing would spoil her time that Jim gifted her with Alicia.
Chapter 15
Jim wanted a conference call with Peggy but it took longer than expected to coordinate times when they both were available. In the meantime Alicia was playing Russian Roulette with her plane reservation whenever a time was set and then rescheduled. After the call finally happened, there was a traffic jam on the way to the airport. She cursed herself for getting the rental car and deciding to take it to the airport. Once at the airport, she had to fly on standby due to all the times she had to change her flight. So when they called her name for the standby list she felt like she hit the lottery. The only downside was that she would get home just in time to meet Lisa for dinner but wouldn't have time to take a nap only a shower so she would be dealing with jetlag and feared she wouldn't be great company.
Before the plane took off Alicia called Lisa. Unfortunately she got her voicemail and left a message that she would meet her at the restaurant. She was glad that she was able to get a seat in business class so she could try to catch a nap on the way home.
Lisa smiled when she got the message. She had taken an extended lunch to look at the apartments she had narrowed her choices down to. She wanted Alicia to go with her to finalize her choice. She sent her a text letting her know that she would meet her at the Thai Garden around 6:30 which would give her time to go home and change clothes and pack a bag.
The Thai Garden had become their favorite place especially because of the couple that owned the restaurant. They were a friendly older couple that made a point of greeting their customers personally to make them feel at home. Their regulars they even knew by first names which Lisa and Alicia were regulars.
Alicia was pacing outside the restaurant anxiously waiting for Lisa to arrive. She was nervous as to what Jim and Lisa had been talking about since she had been away. The text messages that Lisa had sent stated that she had something to do and couldn't talk and the fact that they had not talked about it last night was causing her some anxiety.
Alicia was wishing that she smoked so she would have something to do with her hands. She knew waiting inside would be pointless because she would either be jumping out of her seat every time someone would walk in the door or she would be on her fourth or fifth cocktail trying to explain to the older couple what was wrong before she arrived. Not to mention trying to stay awake.
When Lisa saw Alicia pacing back and forth she formed a bright grin on her face. She quietly walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist. When Alicia turned to see who had grabbed her, her heart skipped a beat when she realized it was her love. The smile had barely formed when Lisa captured her lips in a soulful passionate kiss.
Resting her head on Lisa's as she gained control of her breath she softly asked, "You okay?"
"Yes I'm fine. I missed you," Lisa said as she placed a kiss on her nose. "Are you ready to eat? I'm starving."
Alicia wrapped her arm around Lisa's and they went into the restaurant. The couple greeted them warmly as they showed them to a table in the back. Looking at the expression on the couple's faces and their interlocking arms as they entered the restaurant the older woman knew that they wanted to be out of the prying eyes of the rest of the patrons gathered to eat. The older man brought over their favorite drinks and smiled warmly.
"You want your regular dinner?" he asked not even putting the menus on the table.
Not taking their eyes off each other both women just nodded as they held hands neither caring if they were noticed. He left the table and joined his wife in the kitchen where anyone paying attention could hear them chattering in their native tongue obviously talking about the young couple and their blossoming love.
Squeezing her hands Alicia said, "I have been thinking about you since last night. I was worried when you sent me that text that we couldn't talk because you had something to do. Can you tell me what you had to do? Did it have to do with you and Jim?"
Feeling a tinge of worry Lisa asked, "Did Jim say anything to you today?"
"No. He just congratulated me after our conference call with Peggy and said he would see me on Monday." Alicia noticed the melancholy look on Lisa's face. "What's wrong? What happened between you and Jim?"
Not knowing any other way of telling her she decided to just come out with it. "Jim and I decided to split up. Before you ask, no we didn't fight. Actually Jim was very kind and compassionate. He said he knew that we should never have gotten married. He suspected about us but wasn't sure until I confirmed it. I told him I was gay. He wasn't surprised."
"Oh sweetheart. I'm so proud of you. How do you feel about you and Jim breaking up? I know that has to be hard for you." Alicia had not expected to hear anything like that. "Is that what you had to do?"
"Yeah. I knew I needed to talk to him without any distractions. I guess I'm doing better than Jim is. I am feeling much better than I thought I would. Is that wrong to not feel bad? I mean in a way I feel freer than I have in a long time." Lisa was trying not to show how happy she was but she couldn't help but express her cheerfulness.
She brought Lisa's hands to her lips and kissed them with love. "It sounds like you have finally found peace with yourself. I'm very happy for you." Alicia couldn't help but feel a little scared now that she had come out at least to herself, she may now want to discover what her life as a gay woman could be.
"You helped me find that peace. Knowing that you love me has given me the strength to make it this far." Lisa got up and slid into the seat next to Alicia and took her hand and placed it over her heart. She gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. "You also gave me the strength to say this without shame or fear but with pride." She looked deeply in her eyes before softly saying, "I love you Alicia."
"But you have told me that you loved me before. You weren't sure before?" There was some panic in her voice.
Squeezing her hand tightly to her chest she kissed her on the cheek. "I have always been sure that I loved you. Now I can say I love you with the completeness of my soul and my heart." She stared deeply into her eyes trying to covey the depth of her love. "I love you Alicia."
Tears of happiness flowed down her cheeks. The woman she has grown to love truly loves her in return. She finally felt that the shadow of her past love had finally lifted and now Lisa had blissfully brought her from the cold of autumn to the warmth of spring. Alicia took Lisa's face in her hands and kissed her soundly of which the kiss was enthusiastically returned. The couple was so preoccupied in their passion for each other that they didn't notice the old man place their food on the table and refill their drinks. The smell of the newly arrived food brought them out of their reverie.
"I guess we better eat before the food gets cold," Lisa said with a smirk not sure how long the food had been on the table.
Scooping the food onto their plates they continued to steal looks at each other as they giggled like junior high school girls.
Alicia couldn't stop staring at the woman sitting next to her. She had a quirky smile on her face as she continued to stare.
"What?!" Lisa said with mock agitation after a few minutes of her staring. "Do I have food on my face?"
"You said you love me," Alicia cooed in a sing song voice. "Do you really love me? God I love you." She smiled with a Cheshire cat grin.
"Yes I really do love you. I think I've loved you from the very first moment I saw you." Lisa gave her a loving smile then leaned over to give her a quick kiss on the lips. This time it was her turn to stare back at her with an amorous gleam in her eyes. "Can we go back to your place after we are done eating to have dessert and you can show me all those juicy bits?"
Trying not to choke on her food all Alicia could do is give an enthusiastic nod of acceptance. She didn't care at this moment if she was bone tired, she was going to be with her love tonight. Thank god it's Friday.
"Good. Maybe tomorrow we can have a late breakfast and afterwards you can go with me to help me decide on these two apartments I am looking to rent."
Alicia had to bite her tongue so she wouldn't fall into the stereotype of what a lesbian brings on the second date. Although she would love for Lisa to move in with her, even she realized it was way too soon especially for her. Instead she went the more supportive route knowing if she let time take its pace, they would be living together eventually. "I think I can manage that. Where are the apartments located? Are they close to your job?" Although she really wanted to ask her if the apartments were close to her, she didn't want to appear too needy.
"Both places will cut my commute time in half which will be nice which means I will hopefully get home at a reasonable time." Before she put another forkful of food in her mouth she nonchalantly mentioned, "And they are close to where you live."
Looking at her plate, Alicia displayed a smile that took over her entire face.
Chapter 16
Knowing that she wanted to spend her first night in her apartment by herself, Alicia had a bottle of champagne and a stuffed bear from the Make A BEAR Company with a recorded message inside sent to her apartment. The message simply said, "I love you." After that first night Lisa spent alone in her new apartment, Alicia helped Lisa christen her new apartment with a romantic picnic dinner and an evening of lovemaking in every room of the two bedroom apartment.
They spent the next several months together, doing what new couples in love do, dating, having sex and getting to know each other on a deeper intimate level. Although she was happy with her new relationship, Lisa was having struggles coming to terms with her new life and the changes that were rapidly occurring. There were many nights that Alicia spent holding her as she processed the end of her marriage and her feelings that she had failed and her fear that she would fail at this new relationship too. Even though she knew that her fears were irrational especially since she was growing more deeply in love with Alicia every day. But she was venturing into a new life that she was afraid to embrace so long ago and that shook her to her core.
Jim and Lisa were having an amicable divorce although they both felt their own level of sadness about the end of their marriage. The finalization of the divorce appeared to be dragging on longer then it should have mainly due to both Jim and Lisa's reluctance to let go even though they both wanted to move on with their lives. Jim was pleased that Lisa appeared to be truly happy for the first time in her life even though his heart was breaking that he was not the reason for her happiness. True to their promise to each other they remained on friendly terms with each other and even had the occasional lunch which they both were surprised and happy that they were still able to laugh with each other. Lisa thought it funny that Jim was pumping Alicia for information about her when they first separated as she had done Jim when she first met Alicia.
One evening when Alicia was over at Lisa's for dinner, she was stomping around the apartment a palpable ball of anxiety. She gave no indication what was wrong but just slammed food down on the counter and stirred the ingredients in the pots like it had offended her.
Not wanting to get the force of her rampage, Alicia cautiously approached her and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Baby? What's the matter? Is it something I did wrong?" Alicia couldn't think of anything she might have done wrong since she had only been there for thirty minutes.
Lisa swung around to face her with fury in her eyes which made Alicia step back. Before she said anything, she soften the look in her eyes realizing that the woman in front of her was not the target and cause of her anger.
Lisa reached out and took Alicia in her arms and gave her a tender kiss. She wanted her to know that she wasn't angry with her.
"I'm sorry. It's not you. My mother has been hounding me all day. She said she was going to call me tonight to finish the conversation she tried to have with me earlier."
Lisa had told her that her mother was either trying to pump her for information as to why she and Jim were divorcing or trying to figure out how to get them back together.
Holding her tightly in her arms Alicia kissed her on the forehead. "What does she want this time?"
"She finally has come to terms with the divorce but now she wants to get information about what caused the breakup so she will know how to find my next husband."
"You know what you have to do to stop her. But how about for tonight you put your cell on silent and turn the ringer off on your home phone. That way you can finish cooking me dinner...and avoid your mother tonight." Alicia had a devious smirk on her face.
Playfully batting Alicia on her chest Lisa said, "So what is my reward for cooking you dinner?"
"I'm sure I can think of something." She kissed her passionately then turned her around toward the stove and lightly smacked her on the butt.
Chapter 17
"There's not enough alcohol in the world for this conversation. I guess I will see if she can live up to the open minded liberal that she claims to be," Lisa said to no one as she drove to meet her parents with her radio blaring.
After she parked her car, she took a few minutes to summon her courage and resolution to face her parents. She got herself ready to deal with their disappointment, shock and denial. She decided to go with the old adage, 'Hope for the best but plan for the worst.'
Her parents saw her before she saw them. Her mother stood and enthusiastically waved her daughter over to the table. She was enveloped in a big hug by her father and mother as she reached the table.
"Hi mom. Hi dad. Glad you could meet me," Lisa choked out from lack of air as her parents hugged her tightly.
Finally releasing her, her mother ordered, "Sit down sweetie. We ordered you a glass of white wine. We were going to order an appetizer but your father wanted to wait for you. You look good. Have you been working out?" Her mother was pulled down into her own chair by her husband.
"Give her the opportunity to sit down." He pulled out the chair for his daughter before taking his own seat. "How's work honey? Have you talked to Jim lately?" her father asked.
"Works okay. He's good. Umm...Mom, Dad I wanted to talk to you both about..." Before she could continue the waiter came over to the table to take their order.
"We haven't had time to look at the menus. But can we order some stuffed mushrooms? Is that okay with you sweetie? I'll have another glass of wine. Anybody else?" Her mother was taking control again even doing the waiter's job.
"Some things never change huh dad," Lisa said in a quiet voice as she winked at her father. He smiled back at her in return with a wink.
"So what were you saying?" asked her mother.
Lisa took a large drink of her wine and then took a deep breath. "I know this may be hard for you to understand and there is no easy way to say it but to just say it. I know it was hard for you when I told you Jim and I were getting a divorce. We both agreed and we are on friendly terms about it." She waited until she thought the old news had softened them up before continuing.
"I still don't understand why you and Jim are getting a divorce? You are so good together," her mother said in a lofty voice.
"Did he hurt you honey? Is that the reason you are getting a divorce?" her dad questioned with obvious concern and seriousness in his tone.
"Jim has been great. It was something we talked through and came to the conclusion together that even though we love each other we were not in love with each. We probably never were. We decided we both deserved to be in love with someone." Lisa purposely declined to tell them that it was Jim who realized the truth about them.
Her father leaned over toward her and quietly asked, "Do you need any money sweetheart?"
Lisa patted her father's hand and smiled, "No. I'm fine daddy. I'm actually excited to be living by myself for the first time. I'm really okay."
"Well if you need to talk more about it..." her mother loudly whispered, "you know girl to girl, I'm here." She patted Lisa's hand. "Well we better figure out what we want to eat before the waiter returns with our appetizer. When did you two decide you weren't right for each other?"
Focusing her attention in the menu she answered, "A little over three months ago."
"Over three months ago! You just told us a month and a half ago! You have been living somewhere for that long and now you are telling us the truth?"
"I'm sorry mom but I had a lot to think about and needed the space to do it. I gave you my new phone number. Listen, I have something else to tell you both. I'm gay and I am dating this woman from Jim's work." She decided to go with the band aide adage and just do it all at once and just tell them. Trying to lessen the looks she was getting from her parents she placed the menu in front of her face. "The halibut looks good. Maybe I will try the pot-roast. What are you two going to have?" She lowered the menu to find both of them just staring at her. She knew that it was cruel to just blurt it out like that but she couldn't pussyfoot around the subject especially with her mother and she hoped her mother would appreciate her straight forward approach.
Finally able to form words, her mother stuttered, "Is it...is it something I did?"
Rolling her eyes, she responded, "Yes mother, it's all your fault." Realizing that sarcasm wasn't helping, she soften her approach. "No. It's nothing either one of you did, it's just who I am. I finally figured out who I am and I am happier now than I have ever been."
"Does Jim know you are dating someone from his work? Isn't it too soon to be dating?" she asked incredulously.
"Yes Jim knows and he's fine with it. In fact he has been supportive of it. We are just dating. I will introduce you to her soon. I think you will like her." She turned at looked at her father with concern. "Daddy you are awfully quiet, how are you doing with all this?"
Clearing his throat, he took a deep sip of his bourbon before speaking. "Well honey you always had a good head on your shoulders. I think it's good that you and Jim are being adults about your divorce. It is going to take a while for me to get use to my daughter being a lesbian but I will get there." Looking very seriously at his daughter for a long moment and in a severe stance he leaned toward his daughter. "You are not going to make me march in one of those parades, are you?"
"No dad, you don't have to march in a parade. You don't have to do anything. I just wanted you both to know. I hope this won't change how you think of me." Lisa was looking carefully at both her parents to try to assess their mood for several long moments.
Her mother was the first to speak. "Well it's not the choice I would have made for you but I guess it's your life and there's nothing I can do about it. I guess I could have tried harder to get you to go to an Ivy league college instead of the liberal arts school you ended up going to. Oh well, I guess I will probably have to join one of those P-people groups but at least now I will have something interesting to talk about at my Bunco club." Not missing a beat her mother continued as if they were having a conversation about the weather. "The pot roast does sound good. Dear what are you going to have?"
"I think I am having another bourbon and the T-bone steak."
Lisa looked at her mother and father with shock. This woman couldn't be her mother, the woman who had to be in control of everything. Her father's response she could understand but her mother. She was in shock.
"Are you guys okay? You are acting so...normal... under the circumstance." Lisa gazed at both her parents with wonder and love.
"You are our daughter and we love you. That will never change. You will always be our little girl," her father said as he took her hand and squeezed it.
"Well I always thought there was something off about your dating choices. Now I guess I know why." Her mother was still looking at the menu and spoke as if she was saying that the tomatoes were ripe.
Lisa began to laugh at the absurdity of the reaction of her parents and the fear she had that they would reject her. Tears began to form in her eyes as she began to feel for the first time that things may really be okay.
Chapter 18
Lisa had the opportunity to talk with Alicia's mother over the phone and she wanted her to feel comfortable with her but worried that she would make comparisons to Alicia's past lovers. Wanting Lisa too feel comfortable with her mother Alicia made arrangements for the two of them to go out to Ohio to meet her mother for the Labor Day weekend. When she told her mother that she was going to meet Alicia's mother in Ohio it took everything for Lisa to keep her mother from trying to bully her way onto their trip. She had to promise that they would host Thanksgiving dinner at one of their homes so that both sets of parents could meet. Both mothers happily agreed which made the young lovers cringe knowing that they would be under the microscope of two very strong willed women.
Alicia wanted her mother to accept Lisa especially since she was so important to her. She knew Lisa was anxious to meet her mother especially after stating her fear of being compared to her past lovers. She tried to soothe her worries that her mother wouldn't be like that especially after she met her but Lisa was still unsure.
Her mother arranged to have a barbeque to celebrate the beginning of fall and so that Lisa could be introduced to family and friends. Alicia apologized at least twenty times over the course of the weekend because she was bombarded with so many people all wanting to know her story. Lisa kept telling her she was fine but Alicia knew better by how many times she excused herself when she was around all the invited guests being bombarded by many questions and by the fact that she drank more beer than she could ever remember her drinking.
Alicia saw Lisa seek out the side gate to the front yard to get away from the crowd in the backyard. She slyly followed her so they could talk. "Lisa I'm sorry honey that my mom invited everyone over. I should have picked another weekend for us to visit. I could have at least got us a hotel room."
"I told you it's alright. Your family hasn't seen you in awhile. They are happy to see you. Your mom has been great. I think my father will like your dad. I have felt very welcome." She gave her a quick peck on the lips before she turned to go back in the kitchen. "It's fine honey. I'm going to get a beer. You want me to get you something?"
Alicia bowed her head and shook her head no. When Lisa walked back in the house, she felt more like an idiot then she did after she realized that her mother had invited the entire family over. Well maybe not the entire family since her grandmother and great-aunt were still on their 14 day cruise through Europe but it was bad enough.
Alicia's mother noticed that Lisa came back into the house without her daughter so she went out to find her. She noticed that she had been on edge since she arrived home. She couldn't understand why. Lisa was a lovely girl and she could tell that they were very much in love. She knew that Lisa would treat her daughter better than that other girl she was seeing. Her family also liked Lisa so she couldn't understand what was bothering her daughter so much.
She found her daughter staring at the at the lawn ornaments in the front yard. She didn't notice her approach until she laid her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Sweetheart, are you alright? You are out here by yourself. You and Lisa didn't have a disagreement did you?"
She turned to face the older woman and grimaced. "Me and Lisa are fine. Mom why did you invite everyone over for a party? Lisa just wanted to meet and get to know you and dad. This has put a lot of pressure on her not to mention us. We are just beginning and I want us to work out without having to do it in front of an audience."
"Everyone wanted to meet her not to mention seeing you. Who knows when you will make it home again?"
"I'm just worried about Lisa." Alicia sighed deeply as she turned to look at the pink flamingo standing amongst the fallen leaves. "She will never say that she is uncomfortable because that's not who she is. That's why I love her but it kills me to see her uncomfortable."
"What do you want me to do? Send everyone home."
"Jeez Mom! No. I don't want to make her feel more uncomfortable. That would definitely make her feel horrible. There is nothing to do. I will figure it out when we leave tomorrow. I guess we better get back to the party before everyone starts to think I broke up with her already.
Her mother gave her daughter a hug and kissed her on the forehead before leading her back toward the party. "Everything will be alright. You did good this time. I can tell she loves you so much. You have nothing to worry about my precious one." She wrapped her arm tightly around her daughter's waist and Alicia laid her head on her mother's shoulder remembering fondly when she was a little girl hearing her mother call her precious one.
On the flight home Lisa was able to admit that she was a bit uncomfortable with all of Alicia's family. Being an only child she was never around much family. She did enjoy it but it was overwhelming at times. She was looking forward to being part of a large family especially since not only was she an only child but both her parents were only children. Lisa knew it was going to be something for her parents to get used to as well.
"Is that why beer became your new best friend?" Alicia asked jokingly.
"Well there wasn't any wine." Lisa answered straight faced but then became serious. "I really liked your mom and your family. Holidays are going to be an adventure. I'm glad I am going to be a part of your family."
Tears collected in Alicia's eyes and as she began to feel better about the whole family experience. She kissed Lisa passionately. "I'm glad you will be my family."
It had been almost two and half years since they became a couple and they were more in love now than when they first admitted their feelings to each other. They counted the day that Lisa was able to tell Jim of her feelings for Alicia as the start of their official relationship. Lisa's divorce had been final for about a year. Jim had even started to date a very sweet woman named Claire who was the complete opposite of Lisa in many ways. Alicia and Lisa met her one evening over dinner. After that pleasant dinner, it was clear to both Jim and Lisa that they had made the right decision to divorce but remain friends. They were both happy in their new relationships and happy for each other.
Chapter 19
Rubbing the soft skin on Lisa's midriff Alicia softly cooed in her ear, "Baby, I love it when you wake up in my bed and in my arms. I miss you so much when you are not here."
Lisa gave her lover a passionate kiss. "I love it too waking up in your arms and I miss you when we are apart as well."
"You know there is a way where we don't have to miss each other and wake up in each others' arms every morning."
"Yeah? How?" Lisa was clueless to what the woman was hinting at.
"Well you spend most nights here."
"Your place is bigger than mine and closer to my job," Lisa responded.
Alicia turned so she was completely in Lisa's arms and she was able to look fully in her face. "Why don't you move in here with me? That way we never have to miss each other again. And I can wake you up with sweet kisses every morning."
Looking at her for several moments she finally spoke in a sarcastic tone, "I don't know. You hog all the covers and you have cold feet."
"You brat!" Alicia squealed as she tickled Lisa in her sides. "Well you mumble funny noises in your sleep."
Lisa kissed her tenderly on the lips, "Well at least you're lucky that I enjoy heating you up so I put up with your cold feet. And I am mumbling my love for you." She kissed her again more passionately as they embraced. When they finally parted, Lisa said breathlessly, "I would love to live with you baby."
This time Alicia captured her lover's lips and then started the process of capturing other parts of her body with all the passion she possessed. When they finally fell into an exhausted satisfied sleep, Lisa began to make soft noises as if she had just tasted the most delicious confection she had ever had.
The next morning Alicia kept her promise and woke her sleeping beauty with sweet kisses.
Lisa moved into Alicia's place about two months prior to their third anniversary. Even though they had practically been living together before they made it official, they still went through the growing pains of occupying the same space.
"Lisa where is my jacket? I think I left it on the chair in the living room," Alicia yelled to her lover as she was getting ready to leave for work.
"I put it away where you should have put it," Lisa replied annoyed. Alicia had continuously left her coat in various places throughout the apartment and never remembered where she left it and spent 10 minutes looking for it so Lisa finally hung it up in the closet hoping that she would get the hint.
After 10 minutes she called out that she found it. Lisa knew that this wasn't going to be the last time that they would go through this.
"Alicia, are we out of juice? I had some last night." Lisa had her head in the refrigerator as she was looking for mysterious missing juice.
When she lifted her head out of the frig she saw her pissed off partner who was standing facing her with her arms crossed over her chest.
"What?"
"Do you mean the juice that had a thimble full in the container? Do you mean the juice you said you were going to get more of on your way home from work? Is that the juice you can't find?" Alicia was miffed because she also wanted a glass of juice.
"I was so tired when I was done at work and I knew I didn't need to get anything for dinner. Sorry honey. I was thirsty before I went to bed and just took a swallow from the container. I thought there was more left." Lisa tried to explain in the gentlest tone she could manage knowing that Alicia was upset.
After several incidents of these petty arguments they sat down and talked through the issues and came up with how they were going to handle their small differences before they became big issues. They still did annoying things but each tried to make an effort to not do it as often. Lisa was secretly happy that they were having these issues because in her mind it made her feel like they were a regular couple with regular problems.
One evening Alicia came home after work and found that her favorite food had been prepared and a relaxing bath had been prepared for her.
"What is all this for? What did you do?" Alicia asked with suspicion in her voice as to why she was being treated so special.
Helping her take off her clothes and assisting her to get in the tub, Lisa kissed her tenderly on each cheek and then on her lips. "The only thing I did was have the good sense to fall in love with you. And this is my way of thanking you for loving me. You enjoy your bath you deserve it baby."
As Lisa got up to leave Alicia to her candlelit bath she grabbed her hand and placed a sensuous kiss in the palm of her hand.
"Do you expect me to enjoy myself in here all by myself? If you really want me to enjoy my bath you would join me." Lisa smiled lovingly, disrobed and joined her in the tub.
Chapter 20
They hadn't really had an opportunity to celebrate their second anniversary because Lisa was finalizing her divorce and Alicia was out of town for business off and on for about two months during the time of their anniversary. So the night of their second anniversary was spent on the phone. This year Alicia wanted so much more than drinking a bottle of champagne alone in her hotel room while having phone sex with her girlfriend. Their first anniversary was even more hectic than their second.
The night of their third anniversary, Alicia had gotten off work early so she could come home to change and make sure she could get everything ready. She had arranged to have a limo pick her up from home to drive her to the exclusive restaurant she had made reservations where they could have a private dining room. She had left a note for Lisa to change into the outfit she left for her on their bed. She had told her that morning that she needed to be home by 5:30pm and be ready to leave the house by 7:00pm.
After dinner she had planned for them to go dancing and then end the evening with a horse drawn carriage ride ending at the Savoy Hotel. She had packed a bag and left it at the hotel and made arrangements for a bottle of champagne to be chilled and waiting along with a tray of strawberries and chocolate dipping sauce. She had arranged every detail down to the menu for dinner to the special surprise she had waiting for her in the hotel room.
Lisa was excited to celebrate their third anniversary. She was expecting that Alicia had arranged for a nice romantic dinner, maybe some dancing and an evening of mind blowing sex. So when she rushed home she was surprised first of all that Alicia wasn't home. All she found was a note on the living room table that simply stated ~All you need is in the bedroom. Be ready by 7~ Walking into the bedroom she gasped when she noticed a brand new beautiful black tea length dress and her favorite black medium heel pumps placed on the bed. Laid delicately on the dress was a simple card with a hand written message that said
Happy Anniversary.
I love you.
Alicia
She hugged the note to her chest and smiled brightly. She kissed the note and placed it on her night stand. She went to her briefcase and took out the gift she had bought for Alicia. She hoped she would like the gold pendant that said 'Forever' on one side and an etching of a single rose on the other. She placed the small red velvet box in her clutch she took out to go with her new dress.
She checked the clock to see how much time she had to get ready and seeing that she had over an hour she decided to take a bubble bath. While the bath filled she put in her favorite CD and got a glass of white wine. As she soaked in the tub the music gently caressed her like a warm embrace. She thought back to the almost four years that Alicia had been in her life and the three years that they had officially been a couple. The changes that had occurred in her life the last four years brought her to this moment. The night that they met she would have never imagined that her life would end up here. She finally felt happy with her life and that never would have happened if she had never met Alicia. As she soaked in the bubbly warm water listening to the song that reminded her of Alicia and their life together she realize the tears that gently trailed down her cheeks into the bubbles from the overwhelming happiness she was feeling. Shaking herself from her wonderful memories she realized she had to get ready for a magnificent date with a gorgeous woman.
After putting on the dress she admired the good taste that her girlfriend had in picking it out. It was a simple cut with pleats that gathered from the cloth belt that hugged her right below her breast line. The pleats caused the dress to flow in the breeze when she twirled around. She fixed her short hair so that it was spiky but neat the way she knew Alicia liked it. She did her makeup and put on the perfume that she knew drove Alicia wild. Sitting at the table she waited until her love came to pick her up.
She was startled when she heard the knock on the door. Thinking it was Alicia trying to get her to hurry up she went to the door ready to give her a big kiss as a thank you for her gift. When she opened the door she wasn't prepared to see the gentleman standing there in a chauffeurs' uniform.
"Miss Lisa, your limo is waiting. Miss Alicia is waiting for you inside," the man said in a formal voice. Lisa stood there stunned for a few moments before she gathered her clutch and her wrap. "This way miss." He offered his arm to her and led her to the limo.
As he opened the door she caught sight of her lover beaming brightly at her. She slid in next to her. Alicia kissed her deeply and said, "You look beautiful."
"So do you. Thank you for the beautiful dress. It's a wonderful anniversary present." Lisa was leaning in to give her a quick kiss when the limo began to move and she fell into her girlfriends arms which caused her to kiss her more deeply to both their pleasures.
After the kiss ended, Alicia cradled her in her arms as they drove to the restaurant. "That's only one of your gifts. This one is because you deserve to feel as beautiful as I see you every day. Your other gifts will come later. She kissed her on her forehead and hugged her tightly.
"I can't believe you got us a limo. Where are we going?" She turned so she could see her face. "What do you have planned for us? I can't wait."
"I'm not going to spoil the surprise. After last year, I wanted something so much better for us. This year has been so wonderful and I wanted to make it something that we will both remember. You think you can wait because we are almost there," Alicia said with a smile.
They continued to snuggle with each other as the limo traveled to their destination. Between kisses, they exchanged words of love and promises of what they wanted to do to each other later. Both were silently grateful that today was Friday and they had no other obligations but each other for the rest of the weekend.
The limo pulled up in front of the restaurant. The driver opened the door and assisted both women out of the car. He bowed his head to them as they entered the restaurant. The hostess escorted them to their table in the exclusive room Alicia had reserved. Lisa's eyes were wide with excitement when she saw the beautifully decorated room and table. There was a bottle of white wine chilling by the table and a bouquet of wildflowers in the center of the table.
The meal and service was excellent. Neither woman paid much attention to the wait staff after they ordered their food; they were too focused on each other. Alicia told her that she had planned for them to go dancing after dinner at one of the popular lesbian night clubs. Lisa did not want to share her woman with the throngs of other women who would be ogling her.
"Can we maybe go somewhere else instead tonight? I just want it to be me and you. If we go to the club tonight and some woman hits on you I might have to defend your honor."
Alicia took her hand and brought it to her lips for a soft kiss. "Well I don't want you fighting for my honor tonight but I am moved by your gesture. They have a dance floor here or we can just move on to the next part of the evening."
Still holding Alicia's hand she squeezed it as she said, "Let's move on to the next part of the evening."
Alicia excused herself to go the restroom. In reality she needed to call the carriage company and have them waiting outside the restaurant. She also decided to pay the check so they could just leave when it arrived.
When she went back to the dining room, Lisa was caressing the flowers as she softly hummed their favorite song. Alicia stood there for a few moments marveling at her beauty and how lucky she was. Her phone vibrated in her purse alerting her that the carriage had arrived.
"Baby, are you ready to go?"
Lisa turned to look at her girlfriend. "Are we taking the limo again?"
Alicia smiled and walked over to give her hand to assist her up, "No I have something better."
They exited the restaurant hand in hand. Once again Lisa was shocked when she saw what Alicia had arranged. In front of her was a white old fashioned 1800 New England style horse drawn carriage pulled by a beautiful white mare. The driver was dressed in the clothing that dated back to the same period. He hopped down and tilted his hat as he opened the small door and assisted both women into the carriage. He placed a light blanket over their laps even though it was a warm evening. He told them that the breeze can still be chilly. They set off on a scenic tour of the town. They nuzzled into each other enjoying the blanket and each other for warmth.
"You are so good to me. This has been the best day of my life," Lisa cooed in Alicia's ear.
"It's not over yet," Alicia replied.
Lisa pulled herself up so she could face her. "You are spoiling me. Now I'm embarrassed over the gift I got you compared to everything you have done for me tonight," she said with a shy smile on her face.
"I didn't do this just for you. This is for both of us. I like doing things to make you happy."
"I'm the one who should be doing things to make you happy. You have done so much for me. You helped me find myself which helped me find you. You held me when I cried going through my divorce and coming out. You didn't have to put up with all my craziness but you did. God I love you so much," Lisa declared.
"I love you too." Alicia enveloped her fully in her arms and kissed her passionately and hungrily.
Before they had ceased the kiss the carriage stopped in front of the hotel and the driver hopped down to help them out of the carriage. He cleared his throat to get their attention. "We have arrived at your destination."
They both blushed as they disentangled themselves from each other. Taking the hand offered by the driver, they exited the carriage thanking him for a wonderful evening. He got back in his carriage and bid them both a good night.
Lisa thought that they were coming here for a nightcap before they went home. She knew this hotel had a great lounge and was known for their expansive bar. So when Alicia took her hand and led her to the elevators she looked at her with surprise. She didn't speak during the whole ride in the elevator she just stared at her lover in wonder. They got out on the twenty-first floor and Alicia slid her keycard in the door moving aside to allow her to enter the room.
Lisa spun around looking at the room and quickly went through the whole room excited about everything she saw. She stopped and turned to look at Alicia when she saw the balcony that had a bottle of champagne, two glasses and strawberries and chocolate sitting on the table.
"So this is why you didn't want to order dessert." She walked onto the balcony and dipped her finger in the chocolate and seductively sucked it off her finger making sure that Alicia had a full visual of what she was doing. She felt arms wrap around her waist and nuzzle her neck. This time she took a strawberry and dipped it in the chocolate then placed it on Alicia's lips as she opened her mouth to accept the offered fruit. Noticing the chocolate on her lips, Lisa turned to have better access to her mouth where she began by licking the sauce which elicited a deep moan from both women and ended in a deep kiss.
"Do you want to get out of these clothes? I have our robes on the bed. That way you won't mess up your new dress." Alicia pointed at the bed where both their robes were laying.
"You thought of everything. I will be right back. I don't want to ruin my beautiful dress." Lisa walked over to the bed and took off her dress and hung it up in the closet. She took her robe in the bathroom to change out of the rest of her clothes after using the restroom. When she came out of the bathroom, she placed her other garments in the suitcase she saw by the wall. She went and took the small box out of her purse and slipped it into her pocket.
Alicia had her robe on and had brought the champagne and strawberries inside. She walked over to Lisa and handed her a glass of champagne. She had set pillows on the floor and placed the strawberries, chocolate and champagne next to them. She took Lisa's hand and led her to the floor.
"I hope you like the last phase of our anniversary. I wanted everything tonight to be special."
"Oh honey! I feel like a princess." Lisa felt like this was a good time to give Alicia her gift even though it seemed small in comparison to all that Alicia had done. She reached in her pocket and handed the velvet box to Alicia. "I know it doesn't compare to everything you did tonight but this is from my heart."
Alicia opened the box and looked at the pendant. As she read the simple inscription tears began to well up in her eyes. Lisa put the pendant around her neck and Alicia ran her hand over it as it draped over her heart.
"You are my princess. And I want you to be with me forever as well." Alicia put her glass down and reached under the pillow she was sitting by pulling out a small box of her own. She took Lisa's glass and sat it next to hers. She took the contents out of the box and took Lisa's left hand. "Lisa the day you told me that you loved me I thought was the happiest day of my life. And then you agreed to live with me, I thought that was the pinnacle of my bliss. I'm hoping that you will do one more thing that will truly send me to nirvana. Lisa will you do me the privilege of marrying me." She placed the single solitaire ring on her finger and looked hopefully at her for her answer.
It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Lisa had no idea that Alicia would want to make a life commitment to her. She was only expecting that she would get a few years of happiness with Alicia. When she said forever she thought that it was a dream and hope but wasn't sure that it would happen. Now Alicia wanted to marry her and really make it forever. It felt as if all the missing pieces of the puzzle of her life had finally come together.
Finally feeling the air come back to her lungs and the ability to forms words return, Lisa looked at the ring on her finger not trying to restrain the tears from falling. "I couldn't think of anything that would make me happier than to be your wife," came her tearful reply. She leaned in to give her future wife a soft loving kiss.
Alicia handed the glass back to Lisa and held it up for a toast. "Baby I think you have just given me nirvana. I love you so much."
"I think we both have found nirvana." They touched glasses before drinking the champagne.
Putting down her glass, Lisa picked up a strawberry and dipped it in the chocolate. She placed it at Alicia's mouth for her to lick and suck the fruit in her mouth. Lisa watched her eat the fruit with lustful anticipation.
Alicia repeated the act with Lisa. She had some chocolate on her fingers and Lisa obliged her by sucking the sauce slowly off each digit. Alicia dipped her finger in the sauce and Lisa sucked her fingers in her mouth and continued sucking on them long after they were clean.
Lisa took a strawberry dipped in chocolate and used it as a paint brush and decorated Alicia's breast with swirling designs paying close attention to her erect nipples. With each stroke there was a soft moan. When Lisa licked her breasts clean the moans became louder and more intense until Alicia couldn't support herself any longer and fell back on the soft pillows pulling Lisa with her. Lying on top of the woman she loved, Lisa looked deeply into her eyes before she captured her lips. Alicia licked the attacking lips tasting the residual chocolate on them. Lisa opened her mouth to allow her love's tongue to enter and together they began to dance within each other's mouths tasting the sweetness of the confection.
When they finally parted in need of air, they looked longingly at each other with an increasing level of sexual arousal knowing that their evening had just begun.
Alicia asked in a husky voice, "Do you want to continue this on the bed?"
"No not yet. We still have more chocolate. And I can think of other parts of your body that I want to decorate and then lick clean," Lisa said in a seductive voice with a lustful expression in her eyes.
"I don't want to interfere with your creative process. I am a true fan of your earlier work," Alicia said with a licentious grin as she rubbed her fingers smoothly over Lisa's exposed flesh.
Taking Alicia's robe off to expose her painting canvas, Lisa licked her lips in anticipation. With the first drop of chocolate that fell on her body Alicia began to squirm knowing that this was going to be an anniversary to remember.
Chapter 21
Alicia was sitting across from her at the table going over some paperwork and looked up when she heard her chuckle. "What's up? What you got there?"
Not taking her eyes off the note Lisa asked, "Did you know that Jim and Claire were getting married?"
"What?! He hasn't said anything to me. I don't think he's told anybody at the office. Is that what's so funny?" she asked with surprise.
Finally looking up at her girlfriend Lisa answered "No. They are having a baby. That's why the rush to get married." Putting the note down on the table she got a melancholy look on her face. "Jim always wanted us to have kids but I kept telling him that I wasn't ready. He told me he figured out that I probably didn't want kids with him. But that wasn't true. I knew he would have been a great father. I'm happy for them." She reached over to take Alicia's hand as she looked her in the eyes and asked, "We never talked about it but do you want kids?"
Alicia contemplated the question. The news that Jim and his fiancée were having a child let alone getting married must be hitting Lisa hard. She knew that Lisa loved her and was excited about their upcoming wedding but this was the final chapter of her past being laid to rest. She wanted to ask her how she felt about the news with Jim but felt it better if she brought it up when she was ready.
"I've thought about having children but it had never been the right circumstance. I never felt that my ex was the right person to have a child with. Even though I loved her it became evident towards the end that she was too self absorbed to want to put a child first especially when I stopped being important to her. Before that I guess I was too young."
"I don't remember how long you two together?"
"We dated for a little less than a year and were married for two years, but it felt longer."
"What about now? Do you still think about having children?" she asked with a hint of hope in her voice. Lisa felt that now that her life was coming together with the right person she was ready for motherhood.
Smiling at her love, Alicia said with bright eyes, "Yes I have been thinking about it a lot especially because I have found the right person. I think you will be a wonderful mother to our children."
"I would love to have children with you honey," Lisa said with an adoring smile.
Later that night when the couple was in bed, Lisa stared at the dark ceiling thinking about Jim's marriage and his soon to be child. Why was she feeling such a sense of loss? She had everything that she could possibly want.
Without turning to face Alicia she simply asked, "Do you want to go to Jim and Claire's wedding next month?"
"Huh? Yeah that will be great. Do you want to go?" Alicia mumbled as she tried to pull herself out of the sleepy haze she was falling into. 'She had to pick how to process her feelings. I better at least try to be coherent for this conversation.' She turned on her side so she was facing Lisa.
Still looking at the ceiling she responded, "I am happy for them and want to be there but I think I have to be there you know. We have both moved on which has been a good thing. But now that he is getting married and having a baby, it makes him and me really in the past. I have to be really in the present with my own life. All my mistakes and good fortunes are all mine to make. What me and you do from this moment on, I am the active role maker and I can't blame anyone. I don't want to make the same mistakes with you that I did with Jim. I don't think I can stand it. I love you too much to hurt you."
Rubbing her arm soothingly with her hand, she leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek. "I love you so much baby. You are not alone in this. I'm in it with you until the end. The mistakes and good fortunes will be ours. You and Jim weren't a mistake either you know. You both had to go through your time together so you could discover who you both truly are. You both have become happier people and me and Claire have benefited. As my grandmother saids 'everything happens for a reason.'"
Lisa turned to face Alicia. "Thank you. I love you so much and I can't wait to be your wife and have a child with you." She leaned in to give her a soulful kiss. After they separated, Lisa said in a soft voice as her forehead touched that of Alicia's, "Should we get them a wedding or baby gift?"
They both laughed as they hugged one another and snuggled into each other as they drifted to sleep.
Before the last essence of wakeful consciousness left Lisa she recalled the note that Jim had written inside the wedding invitation.
Lisa,
I really want you and Alicia to come share my happy day with me. In a lot of ways you are the impetus for me being prepared to marry Claire and being prepared for my impending fatherhood. We would have gotten married anyway but the baby just sped things up. I hope to see you at the wedding to share my joy just like I plan to be at your wedding to share your joy.
I will always love you,
Jim
Jim and Claire appeared so happy which made Lisa a little bit jealous that she didn't feel that way during her wedding to Jim. Jim seemed so happy as he showed off Claire's baby bump to everyone and they both seemed so excited to be parents.
As Lisa watched the couple take their first dance together as a married couple, she felt a warm embrace around her waist and a soft kiss on her neck.
"You know that is gonna be us in a few months, baby. How are you doing seeing Jim married and happy?"
She turned slightly so she could see her fiancée, "I'm happy for him. I'm just sad that we both wasted so much time before we both found happiness. But I'm glad that we found happiness now." She gave her a light kiss on the lips.
Smiling brightly at her love, Alicia took her hand and asked, "May I have this dance?" Lisa gave her a grin and followed her onto the dance floor.
Chapter 22
"What's this?" she shouted into the other room.
"It's a pre-wedding gift. Open it," came the reply.
She got a funny look on her face as she looked in the direction of the other room. Looking back at the box she became excited about what was inside. She thought it might be a pair of earrings to go with her wedding dress. Seeing the contents of the box her hand flew to cover her mouth as she let out a high pitched squeal. "Oh my God! We got it! We really got it."
Alicia came out of the kitchen with a bottle of champagne and two filled glasses. As she handed Lisa a glass she barely had time to set the bottle down before Lisa jumped into her arms giving a big hug and kiss.
"Oh baby we got our home!"
When they decided to get married they had begun house hunting. They figured if they were going to have children some day, they wanted to have a place where they could raise them.
"Escrow closed today. I couldn't talk the realtor into giving me the keys until we sign the papers so I got this one until we get the real ones. At least now we get to spend our first night as a married couple in our own home." Alicia pulled her tightly to her and gave her a passionate kiss. "I have almost everything I need."
"What more do you need honey?" Lisa asked with a twinkle in her eyes.
"I need you to marry me in two weeks," Alicia replied in a deep sexy voice.
Locking eyes with the woman in her arms she simply said, "Done." Lisa kissed her gently. "Would you like to practice for our wedding night?" Alicia looked at her with an adoring look as she pulled her by the hand toward their bedroom.
The morning of their wedding, Lisa was being fussed over by her mother at her parent's home. During her first marriage she had her bridemaids fussing over her, this time it was just her mother. But it felt right this time. She had lost friends when she came out and others became not as close as they once were. She was happy that she still had friends willing to witness this day for her.
Alicia had the aid of her mother and a good friend from Ohio to help her get ready in their old apartment. They had only moved the bed to their new house, they were going to move the rest of the things over the next couple of weekends after they returned from their long weekend in Victoria, BC for their honeymoon. Her mother was happy that her daughter was finally settling down with someone that she loved and that truly loved her.
The two women made their way to the Hall where the ceremony and reception were to take place. They planned that they would not see each other until they walked down the aisle. They wanted to preserve some mystery for the ceremony; they didn't even show each other what they were going to wear. Lisa decided to wear a beige dress since she had already done the white dress with her first wedding and that didn't turn out so well. Alicia decided on a simple black Armani tux since she felt she looked better in pants than dresses.
Making their way to the altar both women were escorted by their parents. The minister smiled brightly as the couple stood before him. He looked over the congregation of fashionably dressed individuals who were also smiling brightly. The minister was just beginning his speech about the honor of love and devotion before the couples were to recite their vows to each other.
The couple looked deeply into each other's eyes as he spoke of love, devotion and sacredness of commitment. Lisa found herself daydreaming about what led her to this moment.
Her thoughts took her back to a fall afternoon when she was seven years old. She and her best friend Jane were playing jacks on the sidewalk in front of her house. The leaves were starting to turn and fall from the tress that populated her neighborhood to the ground. Lisa remembered that the rainbow colored ball would occasionally land on one of the leaves that would fall in the middle of their game and cause the ball to be carried off in the opposite direction then what was intended. And whoevers turn it was would call out 'do over' and take their turn again. Both girls were happy to agree that it was easier to start over instead of losing out on another opportunity to get their turn right. She smiled thinking that those rules can still apply even now.
It took so long for her to respond and she looked out of it that Alicia became concerned that Lisa was having second thoughts about marrying her. She quietly whispered, "Lisa? Lisa?"
Coming out of her daze, she realized that everyone was staring at her waiting for her response.
"Lisa do you need me to repeat the question?" asked the minister in a low voice.
Catching on to what was asked of her she replied, "No. Yes! Yes I do with all of my heart." She smiled adoringly at Alicia who breathed a sigh of relief that she had not changed her mind.
The minister quietly let out the breath he was holding along with the others in attendance. "By the power invested in me by the proclamations of my church and the love of all those in attendance here, I proclaim you both bonded and joined in love. You may now seal your bond with a kiss."
The couple met first for a tender kiss that quickly became more passionate communicating the love that the two shared. Both set of parents wiped their tears of happiness that they shed for their daughters. When the kiss ended they walked joyously down the aisle hand in hand as the congregation applauded.
This time Lisa didn't remember many of the details of their reception not because she was drunk but because she was so preoccupied with her new wife. They went through all the rituals of the reception that were expected. They stayed an appropriate amount of time before they left to spend their first night as a married couple in their new home.
Their wedding night was a night that they both knew they would remember, it didn't hurt that their mothers' had spent the day before decorating their home in preparation of their first evening as a married couple.
Epilogue
"Mom, Alicia is responsible for putting together million dollar accounts and projects. I think we can organize a simple party." Lisa knew her attempt would fall on deaf ears but she was secretly happy that her mother was so excited about the reason for the party.
Celebrating the first birthday of their son was something that they had talked about every since they knew they were serious about spending their lives together but to see it a reality was something that made their hearts soar. Little Ethan was doted over by both sets of grandparents. They bought him all types of toys and clothes but the most special gift was for his parents - a weekend trip to Las Vegas with the grandparents babysitting.
Lisa and Alicia really felt that everything was going their way and they had a bright future to look forward to.