Chapter Eleven - Come Ye Thankful People Come
Come, ye thankful people, come, raise the song of harvest home;
All is safely gathered in, ere the winter storms begin.
God our Maker doth provide for our wants to be supplied;
Come to God's own temple, come, raise the song of harvest home.
Words: Henry Alford, 1844. Music: George J. Elvey, 1858

Everyone was stuck indoors as the rains came down for the third straight day. It was no gentle, summer shower but a sky-opening deluge that had people thinking of looking for gopher wood. The small pond had flooded to almost twice its usual size and small tributaries were developing in the rest of the yard.

Piper paced around the living room, moving from window to window as she watched the spread of the water. Occasionally, she would fling herself down on one of the daybeds. Those periods of inactivity would never last long.

"Could you just rest a while?" Martha finally asked.

Susan agreed. "Yeah, you're making the floor dizzy." They and the kids had returned early the day before from fishing. They had tried to stick it out but, once the beach went underwater, they gave up and came back to the house.

"Sorry," Piper answered, not really meaning it. "I'm just a little stir crazy."

"Dude, I totally understand." Meeting Piper's eyes, Susan inclined her head to where Doris was sitting. At the glum nod, she shrugged her shoulders. "After all this time, I know how hard it is to be stuck inside."

"I'm glad we're back inside," said Carol.

"Me, too."

Cody fiddled with his tiles. "I am so glad to be dry and warm again."

"My fingers and toes are still a little pruney," added Eva, holding up her hands.

"I know if I had been out there, I would be happy for the forced rest. But I wasn't." Piper began pacing again. "Once the rains started, we couldn't work outside because the garden was simply too muddy."

"And chopping any more wood was out unless one of us wanted to risk losing our grip on an axe handle." Jay smiled at the glaring Piper. "You deserve a break what with the buck processed and one log chopped."

Sighing, the stocky woman went over to the fireplace and added another log. "I know I'm being a big baby but I'd really rather be doing something."

"How about reading a book?"

"Or joining our game?" Cody asked. "I'm getting killed on this one and would love to have the tiles reshuffled."

Cody, Carol and Eva were sitting in front of the fireplace, playing scrabble. Piper looked from them to Martha and Susan who were snuggled up on the couch. In the easy chair, Jay was reading in the low light.

The cozy scene was enough to bring a slight smile to her lips. A smile that dimmed when the next voice spoke.

"We are running out of things to wear." Doris complained as she tried to repair a split seam on Eva's pants.

Jay looked up from her book. "What kind of clothes do you need?"

"Everything. I don't think we have anything that doesn't have a tear or a rip in it." She held up a shirt and another pair of pants and put her fingers through the holes.

"I might be able to help with that."

"What do you mean?" Doris laughed. "In all the other stuff you've got in the basement, you've got a clothing store too?"

"No. Just the raw materials." Jay put a bookmark between the pages of her novel and stood up. Walking over to one of the day beds, Jay lifted the mattress to reveal several bolts of cloth stored in a cabinet underneath. She pulled them out, calling out the material. "I've got flannel, wool, denim, and several different bolts of cotton." She stopped and glanced over her shoulder. "That's cotton twill for pants, broadcloth for shirts and jersey for underwear." She walked over to the other daybed and motioned for Piper to stand up. Under that mattress were several more bolts and a couple of boxes. "I've got stuff in each of the day beds. Upstairs are skeins of yarn to make sweaters and socks. In this box are buttons, zippers, elastic and Velcro. The other is filled with spools of thread and needles."

"This is freaking cool," enthused Piper. She ran her fingers through the colorful cloth.

"Thanks. I'm glad this stuff will find some use before the bugs get to it."

"I don't know how to make clothes." Doris shook her head. "I've never had to do this before."

"It's all right. The bottom shelf of that bookcase has pattern books." Jay pointed to bookcase near the front door.

Carol went over to the indicated shelf and pulled out several titles. "Neat, see all these different shirts." She handed one of the books to Eva. "And awesome, we can make dresses."

Jay shrugged at the look she was receiving from Susan. "That pattern book was Harmony's idea."

"I like the fit of these pants," Cody whined.

"You can also take apart things you like but aren't wearable anymore and use them as a template for a new set." Jay attempted to reassure him.

Susan was overwhelmed with emotion. She stood next to the Martha who filled her arms with different bolts. "Jay, this is fabulous."

"I'm sure."

They all looked at Doris.

"What?" Jay asked, confused by the sarcastic tone.

"This is all well and good but why are you only showing it to us now."

"What do you mean?"

"We've been here for almost a month and you've kept this from us this whole time."

"Two weeks and, I beg your pardon, but you didn't tell me you needed new clothes until now," she answered reasonably.

"What else are you keeping from us?"

"I'm not keeping anything from you."

"What do you call hiding things we need?"

"They were hardly hidden. Those are built in cedar chests."

"And how were we to know that?"

Jay shook her head in bafflement. "What is your malfunction, Doris?"

"That's rich. You're in the wrong and you accuse me of having a problem."

"How am I in the wrong?"

"You're hoarding stuff. During World War II that was considered the worst possible offense."

"Doris, I hardly think I need to justify my actions to you. Yes, I collected materials for the post-apocalypse. Anyone else could have done the same. I will not apologize for planning ahead."

"Why didn't you tell us that you had it?"

"It's not like we've had a chance to go over every inch and inventory every item in this house. Trust me that as you tell me what you need, if it's here, it's available."

"I'm tired of being a pitiful pawn that you play with."

"Doris," Martha shouted. "Enough."

"No, it's not. You all act like lap dogs, sucking up to her."

Jay's voice was calm. "I don't ever recall asking anyone to kiss my ass."

"Oh, you never ask. You are all lady of the manor and we're here at your mercy."

"This is ridiculous. Everything I have is yours."

"But how do we know what you have if you keep hiding things?"

"I'm not hiding anything. I don't even remember all the stuff that's all over this house, unless I need it."

"We shouldn't keep finding things out like this."

Piper spoke up, "Doris, she's been more than generous to open her home virtual strangers. What more do you want? An inventory? Would that make you happy?"

She sniffed in disdain. "I'll be happy if we had more say in the running of our lives."

"You can have all the say you want. Just get the hell off my land first."

"Your land," she said in triumph. "See, I told you that she doesn't consider us full members of the household."

"And why should we? We've brought her nothing but trouble." Susan was very angry. "She's had to work double hard to provide food for us. She's offered us much more than we can ever repay."

"I'm not seeking any repayment, Susan. Frankly, I've generally liked having most of you on board."

"Out with it."

"What?"

Tapping her foot impatiently, Doris asked, "What is it that you want? Everything has a price and I am tired of waiting for you tell us."

"A little courtesy would not be out of order."

Martha grabbed her sister by the back of the neck when she would have spoken again. "Just shut up." There was a tense silence while the two sisters glared at one another.

Blinking first, Doris took a step away from Martha. "I don't know why you all are always mad at me. I'm just saying what you're too afraid to say."

Susan shook her head. "You don't speak for me and I'd appreciate if you'd stop insulting my friend."

Trying to change the subject, Piper looked from the bolts of cloth to the pattern books. "Who knows how to sew?"

"I do but I'm not about to sew everybody's by hand," answered Doris.

"Who said you had to?" Piper asked. "I'm willing to learn, if it means new clothes."

Doris turned to look at Jay. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"You seemed to have thought of everything else. Don't you have a machine?"

"You are quite the piece of work, Doris." Jay shook her head. "Under that cactus there." She pointed what they had all thought was just a table. She opened the top to show them a foot peddle operated sewing machine.

"Do you know how to work it?"

"Yeah. When you're at that stage, I'll show you what to do."

"Jay, I can't tell you how great this is." Martha stepped toward her. Jay surprised her by moving back out of reach. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. Just a little claustrophobic right now."

"Oh? Can I help?"

"No," she said. "I think I'll take a walk."

"But it's getting dark."

"It'll be better than being in here." Jay slammed out the nearest door and called the dogs. They had been curled up in their houses but they all leaped out at her command. Encouraging them to jump and bound around her, she set off down the driveway. At the fork in the road, she turned uphill and decided climb up to the remains of the old fire watching station.

With each stride, she muttered curses against Doris and her ancestors. She found it hard to believe that she and Martha were related. She also found it unreal that none of the others had killed her yet. "I can't imagine the kind of gall it takes for her to spew her guts out at everyone else when she's such a piece of work," she told the dogs. "Sure, I've got my share of problems but she's in a class by herself."

The pack wound their way up the mountain. Growing tired of swearing to herself, Jay sighed and asked her canine companions, "You guys don't think I'm only doing this because I want something, do you?"

Only doggy grins answered her. She balanced her way across a broken down bridge while her dogs ran down the culvert and across the small stream before joining her on the other side.

Out loud, Jay said, "I was getting lonely. I'm glad to have people in the house." She thought about that. "Okay, maybe not all the people that are currently in the house would I choose to invite but I'm not about to kick any of them out. There isn't a ulterior motive." Coming across a pinecone, she kicked it and the dogs chased it down.

"But she is right. I do resent having to spend my stash on her. She works my last nerve." Jay laughed, shortly. "Of course, that would be the only work she does without duress." Kicking the thoroughly chewed cone again, Jay watched the dogs race each other to it.

When the wind blew the rain off the surrounding trees and onto her, she cursed Doris again. "She's nice and dry in my house while I'm out wandering in the rain. Who's the smart one here?"

"Fuck me!" Jay yelled at the top of her lungs. The dogs whined around her. She sat down under the low branches of a young redwood. The dogs crawled around her to lean against her body.

"Sorry for shouting, guys. She makes me so angry." Rubbing and petting the closest dog, Jay told the chocolate lab, "My mama told me that you shouldn't wrestle with a pig because you both get dirty and the pig likes it. Do you suppose she knew somebody like Doris?"

She sat for almost an hour on the log, watching the moonrise from behind all the clouds. Her sweater clung to her and her butt was cold and wet when she realized that the rain was not going to lessen any time soon. Jay sighed and regained her feet. She headed back to the house, knowing that her patience was running entirely too low to continue dealing with that annoying woman. It didn't matter who she was related to, something had to change. She would have to talk to Susan in the morning.

Martha had waited for a few moments after Jay stormed out before whirling on her sister. "Where do you get off?"

"Yeah. You are the living end." Susan stroked her hand over the bolts of cloth. "This stuff is just fabulous and you treat it and her like they demean you. If you've got such a problem, why are you even here?"

"Where else can I go?" Doris wrapped her arms tightly around her body. "You've got them and her," she said, waving her hand and Cody, Carol and Martha. "What do I have?"

"You mean, other than your daughter and sister?"

"I mean that I'm tired of being alone and having to do everything myself. I want someone to take care of me for a change."

"Listen, Doris, I don't know what they're smoking on the planet you're living on but, I've got to tell you, you don't have a reason to be tired. You don't do half the work the rest of us do and I'm including your daughter in that. We have all been taking care of you for a long time." Susan took a deep breath. "You are lucky that Jay's been too generous to call you on your shit. I'm not. Start pulling your own weight and keep your mouth shut around Jay unless you've got something pleasant to say."

"Oh? So I don't even get to talk anymore?"

"I can't deal with this." Susan threw up her hands and turned to her partner. "Martha, you need to talk so sense into her. I'm going to soak in the hot tub."

The tall woman looked over at her sister. "You and me are going to have to talk about your behavior."

"Why is everyone on my case?"

"Because you've been entirely too selfish."

"I can't believe you'd say that to me."

"I should have said something earlier. You don't have any idea of your effect on other people."

"I don't have sit here and listen to this."

"Yes, you do." Martha was implacable. "You and are going to have a sit down tomorrow."

"Why don't you just dump on me now like everyone else?"

"Because all of our tempers are running too high right now. We need a breather or someone is going to say something that will be unforgivable."

Susan came out of the bathroom and asked, "Anyone care to join me for a soak?" Without waiting for an answer, she headed outside.

"Do you care that it's raining?"

She laughed at Piper's question. "It's not like sitting in the hot tub is a dry activity." Glancing over her shoulder, she asked her lover, "Are you going to join me?"

Martha shook her head at Susan's back. "No. I'm going to take a book to bed."

"Your loss. Try and stay awake until I come to bed, okay?"

"I'll try." Martha nodded at others. "You kids head to bed when you're ready. Clear the room when Piper wants to go to sleep."

"Don't worry. I want to stay up until Jay comes back," answered Piper. "Are you sure you shouldn't go after Susan?"

Martha smiled. "No. She'll talk when she's ready. I've learned not to push her. She can be quite the terror when roused."

"I bet. Just try to keep your efforts at détente down."

Trying to look innocent and failing miserably, Martha grabbed her book. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Whatever." Piper flipped her a salute. "Good luck on dealing with your sister tomorrow."

"Thanks, I think I'll need all the luck I can get to make it so we can have a little peace around here."

"You always were a good negotiator. I figure you'll find a way to make us all get along eventually."

"From your tongue to God's ears," Martha answered as she headed into her room. "Goodnight, everyone."

The chorus of goodbyes followed her into the room. She closed the door and leaned her back against it. Trying a few deep breathing exercises to calm herself down, Martha wondered just how she was going use her many skills to resolve the Gordian knot that the household relationships had become.

She shook herself all over and decided to forget about everything until tomorrow. Martha was sure that something would come to her overnight.

Chapter Twelve - My Soul, There is a Country

If thou canst get but thither,
There grows the flower of peace,
The rose that cannot wither,
Thy fortress, and thy ease.
Words: Henry Vaughan, 1650. Music: "Vulpius," 1609


As the rains started coming down harder, Susan sank deeper into the warm water of the hot tub. With only her nose and eyes above the surface, she allowed her mind to drift and her body to relax. She let her arms ride to the surface. The feeling of the raindrops making contact with her skin was almost ticklish.

"Having a good time?"

Susan threw herself backwards as she startled from the voice. "Who? What?"

"Sorry," Jay stepped out of the darkness and closer to the tub. "I didn't think before I spoke."

"Damn you. I think you've taken off ten years from my life." She looked critically at the other woman. In the dark, she could only see that the other woman was completely soaked. "You need to get into some dry clothes before you catch your death."

"I should be so lucky."

"What do you mean?" Susan eased her way across the hot tub and rested her chin on the side.

Jay couldn't meet the eyes of her friend.

"Tell me, Jay."

"I'm tired of the fighting."

"Martha will read her the riot act." Susan splashed her hands in the water. She forced herself to ask, "Do you want us to go?"

"God, no." Jay held her hands up. "Not at all. Things just got close."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be. She's a bitch. I just have to stop letting her get to me."

"Well, once you figure out how, tell me. I've been trying since she showed up."

"Was she like this before?"

"Before the bombs?" Susan clarified. At Jay's nod, she shrugged. "I don't know. She wouldn't give Martha the time of day before the world ended. I had never met her."

"She's quite a piece of work." Jay sent the dogs back to their houses and turned back to Susan. "What's the rest of her family like?"

"They disinherited her after she came out to them. Except for novena cards on her saints day, we had no contact with them."

"Martha is an amazing woman to escape that indoctrination."

"Don't I know it."

"Just make sure that you don't forget to show her." With a flash of white teeth, Jay headed into the dark house. She nodded gravely to Piper before climbing the spiral staircase. She stripped in the bedroom and quickly warmed up in a hot shower before heading up directly to bed. Not even bothering to stoke up the fire, she climbed between the sheets and waited for the shivering to stop and sleep to claim her.

Susan didn't spend too much more time outside. Quietly, she came into the bedroom and clicked the lock on the door behind her. In the dim light, she stood for a moment just looking at her lover. The fight between the two sisters had been long in coming and she had been worried that Martha was still upset. To her lover's eye, though, she looked peaceful.

Martha had gone to bed early, with a copy of Foxfire 3. She read the volume intently, trying to glean as much information as possible. Being out here in the wilderness was opening her eyes to everything she didn't know. She was finding that she didn't much like not being the one with all the answers. If she had to read every book in the house, she would do so.

Glancing up, she watched Susan watch her. "Was that Jay I heard?"

"Mmmhmm. She made it back safely."

"I'm glad."

"Me too, darling," Susan drawled. "I was not looking forward to getting a search party out to look for her. I wouldn't even know where to begin to look."

"She can take care of herself."

"Yeah but what about accidents?"

"Jay knows this area like the back of her hand. She knows well enough to avoid the danger areas."

"But with this rain, the ground is soaked. What if she slipped and fell in a ravine?"

"She made it back. Don't dwell on worse case scenarios."

Susan sighed and finished drying her hair. "All right, I'll let it go." Her voice muffled under the towel, she added, "Although she did look a bit like a drowned rat when she came back."

"You should know. I can't believe you were out in the hot tub in that weather."

Susan pushed away from the door and stepped close to the bed. "It wasn't bad at all. You should have been there." Slowly, she dropped the towel. "I would have been less lonely with you in there with me."

"Sorry. I sort of thought that you were mad at me and I wanted to do some reading."

"I wasn't angry at you, dear. I was just frustrated." Running a hand down her naked body, Susan licked her lips. "I considered doing something while I was there."

Martha stared at her. "You wouldn't."

"If I thought that was the only way to go." She pouted. "Are you planning on doing any more reading tonight?"

Sighing dramatically, Martha tossed the book onto the nightstand. "Well, I suppose, with sufficient inducement, I could be finished for tonight."

"That sounds like a challenge." Susan crawled into bed and curled her body around Martha's larger frame and rested her head on Martha's chest. She felt the pulse speed up under her ear. "I get the feeling that you can easily be induced," she said. Tugging on her partner's sleep shirt, Susan told her to take it off.
Martha quickly complied and fell back onto the bed. She felt like a mouse before a particularly hungry cat as Susan settled herself on top of her. Leaning forward, she shivered as Susan deliberately exhaled over her bare left breast.

"My, what have we here?"

"I've wanted you all day," she admitted.

Smiling faintly, Susan moved the hand that was resting on Martha's stomach to the other woman's warm hand. Grasping it gently, she guided it up over her head and closed the fingers over the spindles in the headboard. She kissed Martha and moved so that she could reach Martha's other arm. Lifting it, she lightly stroked the muscles that quivered under her touch.

"Susan?" the other woman gasped, only to fall silent as graceful fingers shifted to brush her lips.

"Trust me, baby," Susan whispered.

Martha's arm shifted ever so slightly and a strong hand closed over her wrists. Not to restrain her in any way but as a gentle reminder to keep her right where she was. Susan squeezed and released before trailing her hand down the taut frame.

"But…" Martha began.

"Shh. No talking," Susan breathed, her voice a gentle rebuff. Then, there was no more talking as she started kissing Martha with all of the passion in her heart. Hot lips converged. With uncommon skill, she incited and teased relentlessly.

Her heart pounded in her chest and it took all of Martha's willpower not to yank her arms down and take back control. She wanted to show her lover what her kisses were doing to her. Even after all their time together and the week of fishing, Martha couldn't get enough of her sexy partner. But she stopped herself, knowing that letting go now would be rewarded beyond her wildest imagination.

Continuing the butterfly kisses, Susan trailed her hands over Martha's upper body. First stroking lightly and then scraping with her nails, she alternated her touches with no particular rhythm. She continued the delicious torment until Martha was writhing helplessly. Susan trailed her lips down her lover's throat, randomly placing kisses and bites along the sensitive flesh.

"Please," Martha moaned low in her throat when she couldn't take it any longer. Her body was on fire, almost aching from the pleasure of being teased.

"I said no talking," Susan warned softly. She lifted her fingers to brush her lover's mouth. "If you wake the others, I'll be forced to stop." She kissed Martha again and inhaled her lover's soft whimper into her mouth.

"You don't want that, do you?"

Martha nearly answered before enough brain cells worked out that shaking her head would be a better answer.

"Very good, sweetheart." Flattening her palm over Martha's sternum, Susan marveled at the strong, steady beat of her heart. Wanting more contact, she pulled Martha's panties off, exposing Martha to her appreciative gaze.

"You're so beautiful," she stated in awe. She continued her fingers rambling journey and traced her way to the curve of a firm breast. "Here is so soft," she breathed as her mouth slid lower to press kisses onto flesh that goose pimpled in their wake.

Martha released her grip on the headboard and brought her hands down to her sides. She knew better than to seize what she really wanted. As her lover explored and teased, Martha thrashed in pleasurable agony and gripped her hands on the sheets. When Susan's lips wrapped around a taut nipple, she gasped in surprise and need.

"And here you're hard," Susan drawled, continuing her thought while her lover lost all rational ability. She swirled her tongue around the erect tip as her fingers followed her tongue's movement on Martha's stomach. "You want more, don't you, love?"

"God, yes." Martha's body was clamoring for the anticipated orgasm.

"Good," Susan said, with a smirk. "I'd hate to think that you were bored."

"Never bored," gasped Martha. "You enthrall me."

"I'll have to reward that answer," promised Susan. She slid her hand down and brushed Martha's inner thigh. She was pleased to hear the gasp Martha couldn't contain. The soft hair of Martha's inner thighs contrasted to the wiry hairs hiding her throbbing clit. She grinned to herself at the tangle of dark curls under her hands.

Muscles quivered under her light touch and she guided Martha's legs farther apart. Raising herself, she settled her hips between her lover's and applied gentle pressure. Martha bucked beneath her, trying to grind against her thigh.

Susan stroked a thumb against her lover's mouth. "Shh, my love... I'll take care of you." Lips worked against her thumb and teeth scraped, drawing it inside. "Trust me," she promised, pulling the digit free with an audible pop.

Swirling her tongue against Martha's nipples, she smiled as Martha's entire body seem to ripple with tension. "Do you know what I'm going to do?" she murmured.

"I'm hoping," Martha confessed. Susan could be unpredictable when she turned aggressive.

Admitting her uncertainty earned a soft kiss a few inches lower on her body. The sensation of warm tongue on soft skin made Susan moan. Her tongue darted out to brush along the heaving ribs. Her eyes lifted to pierce into Martha's. "Well, I think you're going to enjoy what I have planned," she promised.

Martha whimpered her fingers digging into the sheets. At the sharp contact of teeth against her belly, she bucked again, in desperate need for more contact. The tenderness of Susan's tongue soothed the area almost as soon as she had registered the pain. "Please," she begged as her heart tried to pound out of her chest.

"Soon," Susan promised. She knew that the climax hovering just out of reach would be all the more intense for having been delayed. Sharp teeth bit again; just hard enough to leave a mark, then Susan washed her tongue over the faint injury. Riding the slow rise and fall of Martha's hips, she dipped her tongue into the faint depression of her lover's bellybutton.

Martha looked down as Susan looked up, staring into eyes that seemed to almost black with hunger. Her fingers ached to stroke and caress her beautiful partner.

"Don't let go yet," Susan requested. "I promise you it'll be worth it."

Martha was trembling as muscles flexed along the length of her body. Fighting the urge to take hold of Susan, she tangled her hands into the sheets. "Oh, my god," she gasped.

Susan slid lower and let her lips play along her lover's hipbones. She nudged her lover's knees farther apart, then tasted Martha's inner thigh. She nipped at the tender skin hard enough to leave a mark. Sometimes she felt compelled to make these small signs of possession. Leaving the reasons to be pondered another time, she continued mapping the geography of her lover's body with her mouth.

Martha's jerked her hips in an attempt to meet the lips that were now zeroing in on her aching need. "Please," she whispered, the words a supplication.

Strong hands stroked Martha's inner thighs, purposely drawing things out. Susan reveled in the power of forcing her lover to wait for her touch on her throbbing flesh. Martha was so ready that when that gentle contact finally came she was close to exploding. She was so sensitive that the warm breath against her intimate flesh made her arch and cry out loud.

"I love you," Susan breathed, knowing what the passage of air was doing to the sensitive flesh before her. Gentle fingers caressed lightly before she flicked once with her fingernail. Martha bucked and lifted her head. Their gazes met for a searing instant before Susan relented.

Martha held her breath, afraid that her lover was going to make her wait even longer. With the first, direct touch of Susan's tongue, she arched off the bed. Panting unsteadily, she cried out, "Don't stop. Please don't stop."

Fluttering her tongue, Susan concentrated all her attention on the small bundle of nerves in Martha's clit. With a rough scream, her lover's entire body froze as she climaxed. Shuddering, Martha cried out, "I love you."

Susan quickly climbed up the bed to enfold her lover in her arms. "God, how I love you," she murmured into the dark hair as she gentled her through the aftershocks.

Martha's face wet with tears, she returned Susan's embrace. She kissed her essence off Susan's lips and face. "Thank you, darling."

"You're so very welcome." She licked salt off her lips. "Why are you crying?"

"What can I say? I seem to leak when you're around." Martha joked.

"Are you all right?"

"I can't remember a time when I was better." Martha kissed her partner. "I'd like to return the favor."

Susan nearly purred when her lover's long fingers trailed down her body to play with the dark, damp curls. "It was my pleasure, honey." The hand stilled and she laughed. "But I'm not going to stop you."

"So wet," Martha exclaimed, as she pressed onward. She shifted slightly and inserted her knee between Susan's legs. Lifting slightly, she was able to sink her two middle fingers into the tight channel.

Gasping at the intrusion, Susan clamped down and jerked her hips. "Oh, God. That feels good."

When Martha tried to turn them both, Susan held her tightly. "No, sweetheart. Keep holding me tight. I need you to hold me right here."

Obeying her lover's words and needs, she began to thrust the hand between Susan's legs. She bent her thumb to make contact with her clit. Marveling at the contrast of hard and soft, Martha pressed another finger into her opening. Susan was so wet, she slid her index finger in effortlessly.

Martha reveled in the velvety smoothness surrounding her hand and spared a moment to kiss the uplifted chin. In response, Susan arched further. On the exposed neck, she lavished kisses and wiped with her tongue against the fast beating pulse.

"So close." Susan panted. "Don't stop."

"Never, my love," she promised. "I'll never stop loving you." Martha watched her lover race toward completion, marveling at the beauty when she cried softly and came.

"I can't believe how ready I was," Susan said with a self-conscious laugh.

Martha eased her hand out from its warm cocoon and brought it to her face. She breathed in the musky scent before sticking out her tongue and licking each finger clean. "The work you did on me would have made a corpse randy."

"Did you mind?"

"Can you ask that? I adore what you do to me and I love that it makes you so hot touching me." She brushed sweat-dampened hair off her still trembling lover's cheek. "Go to sleep."

The gentle command worked it's magic and they both slipped into a dreamless slumber.

Chapter Thirteen - Open My Eyes That I May See

Open my eyes, that I may see
Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Place in my hands the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free.
Words & Music: Clara H. Scott, 1895


After lunch two days later, Jay called out to Eva as she walked by with some dirty dishes. "You wanted to know more about the bees?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, please." Eva almost tossed the dishes at Cody before hurrying back to the dining room. "I'm ready."

Grinning at the eager girl, Jay told her to go and change her clothes to pants and a long sleeve shirt. When Eva returned, she held out several rubber bands. "Here. You'll need these."

"Um, what do I do with them?"

"Use them to keep your sleeves and pant legs together."

"Why's that?"

"We're going to check on the hives. And these," she said, plucking on the rubber bands sealing her own sleeves, "Will keep the little buggers from crawling into places that bees just don't belong."

After Eva complied, the two of them walked over to the other side of the geodome. There was a small windowless metal shed under the trees. Sliding open the stiff door, Jay handed out a hat with netting around it.

"Here. Put this on."

"I thought you had to wear a whole costume when you did something to bother the bees."

"When you bother them, you do." Jay put on her own hat and fluffed the netting around her face. "The kind of beekeeping I do is pretty low key. It causes a lot less stress on them and results in more honey for us."

Picking up a small crowbar, Jay led the way out to the ten boxes spread out under the trees. Jay waved her hand to encompass the area. "This is called an apiary."

"How many bees do you have? That's a lot of houses."

"Don't worry. Not all of the boxes are in use. I've got one largish colony of bees."

"Why do you have so many then?"

"Because I do everything to excess." Jay shook her head at the look on the teenagers face. "Sorry. I didn't know when I'd be able to get resupplied, so I just bought everything in bulk."

"How do the bees know which house to go into?"

She pointed at the blocks sealing the bases of several. "The ones in use are open down here. They come and go through the bottoms and that's where the queen hangs out."

"How come you've got two different kinds of beehives?"

"Because I want different things from each of them." Jay tapped the v-shaped box. "This is called a top bar hive. I get less honey but a lot more wax." She walked over to one of the yellow, plastic boxes. "This is called a super. It is what is known as a standard ten-frame hive. From it, I get a lot of honey and just a little wax."

Using the pry bar, she opened each of the hives and showed Eva the few bees inside.

"I expected to see more."

"That's why we're out here in the heat of the day. Most of the workers are out gathering more nectar." She lifted part of the box up and showed her the bottom section that was an actual hive of activity. "This is the brooding chamber. The queen and all her minions live down here. It stays busy all the time but, because it's separate from the top section, I don't get bee larva in the honey."

A number of bees flew out and around them until she settled the two parts of hive back together. They stood quietly until the bees shifted their attention back to caring for the queen.

"What are we doing now?"

"We are looking for capping." Jay lifted another lid and put it to the side. She pulled up one of the frames. "See how the honeycomb is open? You know it is ready to harvest when around 90% is capped."

"Then what do you do?"

"I extract the honey."

"You mean you take their food." Eva put her fists on her hips.

"You shouldn't think of it as stealing, the bees sure don't. Besides, we're actually only taking their spit after giving them a great place to live and room for all their young. I should have been so lucky when I was scrapping rent up during graduate school."

Jay replaced the frame and lid and moved onto the next box where she repeated the operation. Taking the three frames she had collected, she led Eva back over to the shed.

Lighting a small can of sterno, she set a dull knife on top of it to heat. "What I'm doing now is cutting the cap. The bees seal the honey chamber once it has ripened. The honey will ferment if it's harvested before being capped. Once the knife is hot enough, I just slice off the caps."

"What then?"

Pointing at the machine that dominated the shed, Jay said, "I can put up to five panels in this extractor. Then, all I have to do is close the lid and turn the crank. The centrifugal force flings the honey out where it slides down the sides of the chamber to the holding tanks. Little or no damage is done to the delicate honeycomb and the super is ready to be replaced."

Jay put Eva to work turning the handle. "Do you really see this as stealing?" she asked after a while.

"Not really, I just don't know what else to call it."

"Harvesting honey is just good husbandry. We offer them some benefits and, in return, we get a sweet reward for our efforts."

Eva seemed a bit disappointed by the little honey that they were able to collect. "Is that all?"

"Don't worry, kid, this is nothing. I do the big harvest at the end of July. That gives the bees plenty of time to make enough storage for winter."

Bending down, Eva looked at the cloudy liquid. "Um, it looks a little gross."

Jay took a scrapper and a squeegee to get out the remaining honey from the extractor. She took the collection jar and carried it over to a smaller jar. "We've got to strain the honey into the tanks and let it sit for a couple of days for the air and impurities to rise to the top or sink to the bottom. The honey is then ready for bottling." Saying that, she poured the honey through the fine mesh on the top of the jar. She took the empty jar out and set it by the door outside.

"What is that machine?"

"It is a squeeze press. For the other type of hive, we will cut off the comb. I only need to leave about an inch at the top for them to start building a new one. We'll place the comb in here and squeeze out all the honey. The wax is then ready for use."

"Like what?"

"All sorts of things. I use it to rustproof metal, coat cheese, and make candles. You can also use it as the original tie-dye."

"What do you mean?"

"You've heard of Batik? It is done by painting designs in melted wax on cloth and then dying the fabric."

"How do you get the wax off?"

"Boil the cloth."

"Can we do that?"

"Sure. That'll be a good thing to do during the winter."

"Excellent."

Jay took the empty frames and leaned them up against the side of the shed.

"What are you doing now?"

"When we're done with the frames, I just set them outside for a couple of days."

"Why?"

"The bees will come by clean up any honey that is left. If I put the frame back in the hive they would repair any damage then starting loading it up with new honey."

"Don't you need to put those back then?" asked Eva. "How can you be sure that they have enough food?"

"To prepare for winter, the colony needs one full super. I've spread that among a couple of hives. By removing a couple of frames, it forces them to consolidate what they have."

"They don't die out?"

"No, in fact they'll stay remarkably warm. The hive is extraordinary. They air condition it in the summer if it gets too hot and their little bodies generate enough heat to keep it warm all winter long."

"That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. They're some of the most efficient and complex insects. They communicate with each other about where to find food with dances."

"Dances?"

"Yeah. After one of the bees has tasted some nectar, they come back to the hive and do a dance for the other bees. They are able to communicate about distance, quality and quantity of the find."

Eva watched a bee fly back into the hive. "Really? You're not just pulling my leg?"

"No, no. It's the truth." Jay worked quickly to return all the items she had used back to their places in the small shack.

"Why do you keep everything way out here?"

"It's easier to have the whole operation close together. That way, you don't have to walk very far with sticky, drippy things. " Jay winked, conspiratorially. "Honestly, I moved the extracting operation out here after Harmony threatened to kill me because of all the honey I tracked into the house."

Jay handed Eva the strained bottle of honey. "Carry this back and set it downstairs near the water heater. After a couple of days, we can pour it into bottles." She directed the teenager outside and closed the door. "When we bottle the honey, we should come out here and put the screens away in the shed."

"What would happen if we left them?"

"Other insects would make their home on them." Jay sniffed, disdainfully. "Moths, mainly. They'd latch onto them in no time flat." She threw an arm around Eva's shoulder. "Pretty neat, doing all that and not getting stung, huh?"

"Yeah. I thought it was more dangerous than that."

"Just remember to come out during the hottest time of the day to check the hives. That way, most of the bees are off collecting more nectar and not hanging around looking to sting you."

"Have you been stung?"

"Several times in fact. But not lately." Jay pointed at her foot. "The last bee that stung me did so because I stepped on him."

"You should watch where you're going."

"Or wear shoes." They laughed. "Bee stings aren't that bad. If you do get stung, you need to get the stinger out as quickly as you can. Then just make a paste with some baking soda and put it on your skin."

"I don't want to get hurt."

Jay shook the youngster gently. "Hey, there used to be people who would go out deliberately to get stung. They said it boosted their immunity."

"No way."

"Way." Going down into the basement, Eva put the jar aside while Jay grabbed a bag of squabs from the freezer. "How about we do a honey glaze on these birds for dinner?"

Eyes bright, Eva nodded enthusiastically. "Sounds great. Can I help?"

"Can you? My dear child, I insist."

"What do you insist?"

Jay nearly jumped out of her skin. Doris had snuck up behind her before speaking. "Damn, woman. You scared me."

"What have you been doing with my daughter?"

Looking confused, Jay pointed at the jar of honey. "We've been charming bees out of their stash."

Doris turned to her daughter. "Is that true? Is that what happened?" At Eva's nod, she asked, "Are you sure that's all?"

"Now wait just a cotton picking minute here." Jay drew herself up and glared at the taller woman. "What the hell are you implying?"

"Not a thing. I would just appreciate it if you would get my permission before you disappear with my child."

"I'd hardly think that walking over to the other side of the pond is disappearing."

"Mom, it's okay. Jay was just showing me her bee hives and all about extracting honey." Eva put herself between the two women. "It was really neat. I can hardly wait until the summer and we get to do it for real."

Jay smiled at the girl. "Don't forget there is a whole fun time during the spring when the bees swarm." At the concerned looked from both of them, she raised her hands. "Not to worry. The old queen takes off and leaves the new queen to rebuild the empire. It's also really cool."

"I'm not sure I want Eva to have anything to do with that."

Eva's face fell. "Mom, it's not dangerous at all. The bees didn't even come close to stinging me."

"It really is very safe, Doris."

"I'll be the judge of that just as I'll be the judge of any other activities that involve my child."

"Whatever." Jay patted Eva on the shoulder and walked by her to the stairs. "I hope you let her out of jail long enough to help with dinner."

Doris looked at her daughter. "I don't care for her attitude."

"You insulted her, mother."

"Don't take that tone with me."

"Of course. You just take that tone with everyone else."

"Eva Maria Matlan, you go to your room. There is just no talking to you when you're like this." She stalked after Jay. "It's obvious that you know nothing about raising children."

"I didn't do anything with her that I haven't done myself."

"You have the experience to make such decisions for yourself, not for a minor child."

"Nothing happened to her!" Jay nearly shouted in her frustration.

"This time. What about next time?"

"She'll be just as safe next time as she was this time."

"If you can't be responsible, I'll need to insist that you keep away from her."

"That might be a little difficult as we live in the same house." Jay stomped upstairs.

Doggedly, Doris followed her. "You need to respect my decisions regarding my daughter."

"Frankly, I'm finding it hard to accord you any respect at all." Jay pulled open one of the doors to the sideboard and pulled out a bottle of tequila. Pouring herself a shot, she downed it with a cough.

"That's fine coming from someone with a drinking problem."

"I don't have a drinking problem. I have a problem with you and I'm drinking. Big difference."

"Hey, what's going on in here?" Martha stepped out of her bedroom and looked between the two women.

"Oh, your sister seems to think that letting her daughter be alone with me will either kill or corrupt her." Jay poured another shot. This one she savored with her eyes closed.

"Hey, is that Patron?"

"Yeah. You want some?"

"Damn straight."
Jay giggled. "No, that's why we're having issues." She pulled out another shot glass and filled it with the pale liquid. Pushing it across the table, she grinned at Martha.

"I don't think that your drinking is going to solve anything," Doris hissed.

"There's only one way to solve this and, until that happens, my drinking might just be what saves your life."

"You'd threaten me?"

"No. No threats at all." Jay raised the bottle and an eyebrow at Martha who shook her head. She recapped the bottle and put it back on shelf. "I've tried to be patient and give you the benefit of the doubt, Doris. But you seem bound and determined to make the lives of everyone else around you miserable."

Looking at her sister, Doris asked, "Are you going to let her talk to me like this?"

"Shut up, Doris."

Jay nodded a thank you to Martha. "I'm tired of these almost daily clashes. I get that you're not happy but that's no reason for poisoning the air for the rest of us."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that from now on you need to apply yourself to the principle that if you don't have something nice to say, you say nothing at all."

"You're silencing me?"

"Since you don't seem to have the ability to do it yourself, yes."

"You can't do this."

"You're right. I can't. You have to." Jay glared at her. "And if you don't, I'm not sure I can be held responsible for my actions. You've already had a taste of what happens when I lose control."

Doris stood staring at her with her mouth open. Taking the two empty glasses, Jay dropped them off in the kitchen before she headed out the door.

In her wake, the two sisters just looked at each other. Martha waited for Doris to blow up.

"I can't believe you just stood there and let her say those awful things."

"Doris, I can't protect you anymore. You promised me when we last talked that you'd try to get along. I really haven't seen that you're making any effort at all."

"I am trying. It's just so hard." Doris started to cry. "All of you are against me."

Martha stood fast. "No, we're not. We're all in this together. You are the one keeping yourself apart."

"But I have to."

"Why?"

"Because my eternal soul depends on it."

"Sister, you've lived with me and mine. You've seen the love in my life. How can you possibly think that I'm not made exactly the way God wanted me to be?"

"Because the bible says so."

"Exactly where? After the passages about it being okay to sell your daughter into slavery? Or the one's about it being okay to rape someone if you offer to marry them afterwards?"

"Homosexuality is an abomination."

"So is eating shellfish and getting tattoos but I've never seen you turn down an oyster and that rose on your shoulder isn't exactly invisible."

"I just know what I've been told," she wailed. "I don't want to go to hell."

"What you've managed to do is make this a hell on earth." Martha clasped her hands together. "Please, leave the judging to God."

Doris threw herself into her sister's arms. "Don't hate me!"

"Sweetheart, I don't hate you. Life is hard enough without hate." Martha patted the sobbing woman's back. "Just try to be a little more tolerant."

"I don't mean to..."

"What you mean doesn't matter," interrupted Martha. "The results are all that concern me. You have to accept that no one here shares your particular belief system."

"I feel so sorry for them."

"Don't worry. Believe me, they are filled with as much pity for you."

"How dare they?"

"Knock off that holier than thou attitude." Stepping away from her, Martha pointed a finger at her sister. "From this point forward, no more snide remarks, no more baiting, and absolutely no more boundless accusations.

"I don't know if I can."

"Well, if all else fails, why don't you simply try to keep your distance from Jay?"

"If you say so." Doris wiped her face. "Um, Martha?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we should have alcohol left out like that?"

"Like what? She put the bottle back in the cabinet."

"There is no lock. Think of the children."

"I trust the kids."

"There's no need to put temptation into their way."

"It's not like they're ever left alone in the house. I don't think you need to worry about it."

"That's the difference between the two of us. You don't worry enough and I worry too much."

"No, the real issue is that you tend to worry about things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. We're working for our very survival here, Doris. We don't need to waste our time getting wrapped around the axel with something that doesn't matter."

"Are you saying that my caring about my daughter means nothing?"

"No, just that you need to start caring about more important things." Martha began to pace. "We need to make sure that we have enough food to feed us through the winter and enough firewood to keep us warm. An open bottle of booze is not the end of the world."

"It's how things start. Don't you get it? The same thing happened in the country. Every blessed person willing to turn a blind eye to sin."

"No. The way things started is that some people refused to accept that they aren't the center of the universe. Just because you're white and hold as truth a particular version of the bible doesn't give you the right to force your ideas down everyone else's throat."

"You can't tell me that you don't believe that there aren't moral absolutes."

"Not really. I believe that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, everything else is relative. I've stolen to feed my family and I'll kill to protect them. I guess you could say that my ethics are situational." Martha pinched the bridge of her nose. "We've gotten a little off topic here. Your issues with the state of our souls notwithstanding, I want you do your fair share without us having to tell you and I expect that you'll keep a civil tongue in your head."

Gritting her teeth, Doris nodded. "Fine."

"Good. Now, how about you come with me to chop the rest of the log out front? We need to get that area cleared so that we can bring another log down." Martha led her sister out of the house and into the sunshine.

Chapter Fourteen - A Mighty Fortress is Our God

And though this world, with devils filled,
Should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph through us.
Words & Music: Martin Luther, 1529

"Oh, man. You should have seen it!"

"Seen what?" Susan asked. She came out of the kitchen to see Piper and Martha roughhousing in the living room. "What are you two doing?"

"You're looking at two of the baddest hombres on the mountain." Martha boasted as she got the other woman in a headlock.

"Really? What have you done now?"

"We just brought down that mondo log."

"What?"

Piper blew a raspberry on Martha's side and grinned when she was released. "Yep. It's over by the pond. We couldn't get it any further on our own."

"I thought we were going to leave that one until everyone to go up and help bring it down."

"Help? We don't need no stinking help," cried Martha in a bad, Spanish accent.

"You two are in amazingly high spirits for people who are about to get a lecture on safety and teamwork," Susan stated as she set plates down on the table. "You're lucky that I don't even know where to begin the lecture."

"Well, you could just forget about it," Piper said hopefully.

Susan shook her head. "No way. I'm not just going to ignore your doing something potentially dangerous and extremely foolish. Now sit down for lunch."

In a small voice, Martha asked, "Are you really mad at me?"

"I'm a little disappointed, darling, but I'm sure we'll work it out." To erase the sad look on her lover's face, she leaned over and kissed her soundly. She then had to wipe her lips with the back of her hand. "Wow, you're salty."

"It feels good to be active again."

Flexing her arms, Piper kissed each of her biceps. "I'm so glad the rains stopped and we could get out there and use these babies."

Jay took her place at the table. "What are we going to do with you two when winter hits?"

"Oh, God. I hadn't even started to think about that." Susan shook her head.

"May I make a request?" asked Doris.

"Um, sure." Jay looked curiously at her. She had been very quiet for almost a week.

"I would appreciate it if you would refrain from using the Lord's name in vain."

Trying not to roll her eyes, Susan agreed. "Sorry, I just don't know where my head was."

"Thank you. I've made every effort to keep quiet but there are just things that I can't turn a blind eye to."

"Right. We'll try to watch our language." Martha said. "Right, guys?" She received a round of agreement from everyone sitting at the table. Trying to change to subject, she asked, "So, how's the soil turning going?"

"Why don't you ask Doris?"

"Pardon?"

Susan cleared her throat. "We were making good progress on the field until we lost one of our workers."

"Why are you all picking on me? I've been doing what you've asked me to do."

"You know this stuff needs to be done. We shouldn't have to ask you to help."

Martha put her head in her hands and worked on breathing deeply. She was almost at her wits end in dealing with her sister. "Doris," she started to say.

"I can't believe that you're taking their side without hearing mine." She pushed her chair back and stormed out the French doors.

Piper stood up. "Let me go and talk to her." As no one else wanted the job, she was on her own when she left the house in pursuit.

Catching up with her at the woodpile, Piper asked, "So, you want to tell me your side?"

"You don't really care."

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't have followed you out here."

"You're just like the rest of them."

"Unfortunately for you, I don't find that to be a insult." Piper leaned against the pile. "What can it hurt to talk to me?"

"It won't do any good. You stick together like some lesbian club."

"It goes with the secret handshake. Now, it seems to me that you're just defensive because you know you're in the wrong." When Doris didn't respond, Piper went on. "Cat got your tongue?"

"I never!"

"No and that's one of your problems. You've cut yourself off from one of the most fabulous experiences on the planet."

"You are so full of yourself."

Her smile full of dark promises, Piper licked her lips. "To hear my partners tell it, I've got every reason to be so."

"You've got nothing that I would ever want," Doris hissed vehemently.

"I think the lady doth protest too much."

"What are you saying?"

"Just that I don't think that you'd have such a problem if you'd just get laid properly." Piper straightened up and stalked toward the other woman.

"I beg your pardon?"
Taking hold of Doris' upper arms, Piper leaned forward and whispered, "You heard me."

"You're disgusting and you better get your hands off me!" Doris's eyes were wild as she looked into Pipers eyes.

"Shut up while I kiss you." She proceeded to do so, putting her entire body into the interaction. Piper moved her left hand up to cradle the back of Doris' head. The dark hair felt heavy under her fingers as she concentrated on the feel of warm flesh beneath her lips.

"What the fuck!"

Both women took a step back from one another. Martha's shouted question was like a bucket of cold water thrown into their faces.

Reacting without thought, Doris' hand flashed out and she slapped Piper. "I can't believe you did that."

"Oh, like it's my imagination that you were responding to me." Rubbing her cheek, Piper grinned at Doris.

"I think even you are familiar with the phenomena of rape victims physically responding to their attackers." The words from Doris' mouth were coated in ice.

Piper looked like she'd been hit in the gut. Her face lost all color and she swayed slightly. Putting out a hand, she flinched when Doris knocked it away.

"Don't touch me."

Stepping between the two women, Martha asked, "What the heck just happened?"

Doris hissed, "I don't want to talk about it."

Shrugging her shoulders, Piper kept her attention on the ground.

"Speak to me," Martha demanded.

"I've got nothing to say to you or anyone else. Just leave me alone."

"Okay, why don't you stay out here and cool off for bit while I take Piper inside."

"No."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to be around any of you right now." Doris was shivering. She rubbed her hands on her bare arms. "I need to get out here."

"Well, I don't like the idea of you wandering out there by yourself." Martha was really worried about her sister. She had never seen her look so upset. Turning toward the house, she mutely begged Susan to do something.

Stepping outside, Susan called. "Why don't you go with Jay? She won't let you get lost but will let you get as far away as you need." She studied the pale face of Piper. "I think a little distance will do both of you some good."

Jay was standing at her shoulder. "Are you out of your mind? You want me to go with her?" she asked in a whisper.

"She shouldn't be alone right now."

"I don't think that I should be left alone with her."

"You just have to go and keep her out of trouble."

Shaking her head, Jay disagreed. "How do you know she'll be in less trouble with me?"

"You're the local and you've got the survival skills. Face it, Jay, you're the only choice."

"There's got to be a better way."

"No. You have the least invested in this."

"I don't think you should trust me," Jay whined. "Susan, she drives me crazy."

"Please? Do this for me?"

"Don't pull that face on me. It might work on Martha but I'm immune."

Susan stood looking at her with her arms crossed. She slowly blinked her ex lover and allowed her bottom lip to quiver ever so slightly. Eventually, Jay threw up her hands. "Whatever. But know this, if I come back without her, it wasn't my fault."

Susan walked over to the hall closet and pulled out the crossbow. She handed her the weapon and her fanny pack. "Take these and get her out of here so she can calm down."

"You trust me with a gun near your sister-in-law?"

"Just go with her and when she's done with freaking out, bring her back."

With poor grace, Jay stomped out onto the patio. She looked over at the two pale women and felt a slightest pang. "Ready?" she asked Doris.

"I don't need you to hold my hand."

"That wasn't what I was offering." Jay stopped herself and took a deep breath. "Look, you lead the way. You won't even know I'm there. When you achieve inner peace, I'll get us back home. Deal?"

Doris looked closely at her. "You aren't going to try any funny stuff?"

"No way. Scout's honor, I'm just a shadow."

"Okay." Doris pulled on her jacket Eva handed her and practically threw herself in motion. She stormed past the lake and greenhouse to the secondary trail down the mountain. For a while the only sounds were her labored breathing and twigs snapping beneath her feet.

When they reached the road, Doris stood for a while trying to decide which way to go. Finally, she started walking north. They had covered almost two miles when she turned on Jay. "Why don't I ever see animals?"

"What?"

"I never see any of the animals that the others say they see."

Jay shrugged. "You crash through the woods and scare everything away."

"What do you mean?"

"Take just now. All the way down hill, you made a ton of noise. You didn't watch where you put your feet down and everything in a mile radius knew to lie low until you went past."

"You think I walk badly? How should I be doing it?"

"Put your feet down deliberately. Toe first and don't shift your weight until you know that you're not going to break anything." Jay pointed to a trail that led down to the water. "Why don't you follow the trail and try it out."

The two of them made it down the hill and out into the valley. As Doris continued to walk, she started to talk about all the things that were upsetting her. Her list included the primitive living arrangements, the required manual labor and the fact that lesbians surrounded her on all sides.

Jay pretty much tuned out the diatribe that flowed from Doris' lips like water. She was more concerned about a flock of birds that had taken to the air near them.

"You're not even listening to me are you?"

Jay focused on her accusing eyes. "Um, you think this is all a bad influence on your daughter?"

Looking at her suspiciously, Doris nodded. "Yeah. Right. What do you think?"

"You seem to forget that I'm one of them," Jay responded, as gently as she could.

Doris stepped back from her. "Oh, yeah. So, I bet you're on her side."

"No. I don't believe in the Trek philosophy of lesbianism." At Doris' quizzical look, she offered, "You know, to boldly go where no one has gone before. I don't really believe in recruiting straight girls."

"I'm not questioning my sexuality."

Jay tried to concentrate on the sounds of the forest. "Nobody said you were."

"Then why did she kiss me?"

"Hush for a moment."

"What?"

"I need to listen." Jay had a really bad feeling when she could no longer hear any animal sounds. It felt like the woods themselves were holding their collective breaths.

"What for? We're all alone."

"Not any more, you aren't." The deep voice spoke from the woods. "Now, I have to wonder. What are two nice little fillies doing out here all on your own?"

"We wandered away from the tour." Instinctively, Jay put herself between the speaker and Doris. "We'll just be on our way."

A new voice called out from the other side of the clearing, "Not so fast. We want to get to know you."

"If you're so interested in making our acquaintance, why don't you show yourselves?"

"Forgive our rudeness. We wanted to enjoy the show for as long as possible."

"There's no more see here, so you can just move along." Jay took Doris' elbow and started to move away from the still hidden speaker.

A new voice, deep with menace, came from the direction they were heading. "It's not nice when meat thinks it can run."

Doris froze and they turned back to face the original speaker. "Show yourselves," Jay requested.

The bushes rustled all around them as four burly men stepped forward. They were dirty and disheveled, as if they had been traveling hard for many days. As Jay looked into their dead eyes, she felt a burgeoning fear.

"Turn around and face the tree." The largest and hairiest of the men spoke as he waved a sawed off shotgun at the two women.

Jay tried to negotiate. Raising her hands in supplication she said, "Guys, we've don't have anything of value."

One of the men stepped forward and relieved her of her crossbow. "I like this."

"Consider it a gift," offered Jay. "How about you let us go now?"

"Turn around." The largest man repeated the earlier order. "I'm not in the habit of repeating myself," he said with deadly calm.

She looked at Doris and shrugged. Slowly, the two of them turned around.

"Put your hands on the tree."

Doris just stood still. She seemed to be in shock from fear.

Murmuring softly, Jay said, "Hang in there."

"Silence!" he roared. "You do what I say and I order you to shut up."

"What do you…" A crossbow bolt slamming through her back and into the tree cut off Jay's question. The searing pain seemed to block her ability to breathe. She felt Doris' hands on her, trying to lift her up enough so the bolt through her shoulder wasn't supporting her full weight. "Oh, God," she whispered though suddenly dry lips.

"Don't blaspheme," ordered Doris automatically.

Jay felt a powerful urge to giggle at Doris' priorities. "I think we've got bigger problems than my language," she whispered.

Doris was badly frightened. Looking over her shoulder at the four huge and dirty men, she could see the lust in their eyes. In a hiss, she pleaded with Jay, "Stand up. Please, you're too heavy to hold up." When Jay seemed unable to obey her, she got mad. "Lock your knees, damn it."

It was a struggle but Jay finally got her legs under her. She couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips as the shifting caused the arrow to pull at her shoulder.

"Don't leave me," Doris begged.

"Trust me. I'm not going anywhere," she answered.

One of the men stepped forward and wiggled the shaft of the arrow. Jay could feel the bones of her shoulder blade grate together and her knees buckled again. Blinking against the darkness that dimmed her vision, she dug her short nails into the tree trunk and forced herself to stand up again.

"Since you seem to be hung up, I guess we'll start with your friend." The man's voice was oily and the laughter of the men seemed to echo in her head.

"Leave her alone, you bastards." Jay muttered. She moaned slightly when they pulled at Doris. The other woman had a hold on her arm and tried not to be dragged away. Trying not to scream, Jay was almost grateful when one of the men slammed his weapon upon the clinging hand.

Doris released her grip and began pleading to be left alone. There was the sound of clothes ripping and she heard Doris' choked off cough as she hit the ground. Not being able to see what was happening behind her back was making Jay crazy.

Through the haze that surrounded her, she could hear the muffled moans and grunts as the man assaulted Doris. Taking a deep breath, she concentrated on finding a way to get them both out of this experience alive.

Impaled and with her back to the action, she had to hope that everyone's attention was on the sex act in front of them. Bracing both hands on the trunk, she pushed out and was able to pull several inches of the arrow through her. Her jaw clenched tightly against the pain, she did it again. Reaching into the pouch at her waist with her good hand, she drew out the automatic and released the safety.

With a choked cry, she dropped her full weight on the shaft. As it snapped, she pushed her free hand against the tree. Her falling body pivoted as she fell to the ground. On her knees, she brought up the weapon. Almost before the spots cleared from her eyes, she was firing at the men. Like her old instructor taught, she fired twice each into their upper torsos.

The explosive tips on the bullets had tremendous destructive power. The closest lost most of his upper body in a shower of gore. Her shots took the men by surprise and none was able to return fire.

After emptying the clip, Jay ejected the magazine. Bracing the hot muzzle between her knees, she struggled to remove the other clip with one hand. On automatic pilot with her ears still ringing from the concussion, she was able to reload.

Hefting the weapon, she looked across the clearing and saw that nothing was moving. Even the afternoon breeze had died, leaving the air thick with silence and the smell of gunpowder.

Chapter Fifteen - Rescue the Perishing

Down in the human heart, crushed by the tempter,
Feelings lie buried that grace can restore;
Touched by a loving heart, wakened by kindness,
Chords that were broken will vibrate once more.
Words: Fanny Crosby, 1869 Music: W. Howard Doane

It seemed like hours later before the birds had begun to sing again or, at least, before her hearing had come back. Every muscle was tense as she scanned the clearing. She was unsure of whether there were any more members of this gang poised for attack. Ignoring the shivers that shook her frame, Jay forced herself to focus instead on her surroundings.

She knelt in the patch of sunlight and welcomed the sound of crickets and the hum of bees. A squirrel looked down from its perch in the trees and chattered angrily at the mess.

Not hearing anything but the natural sounds of the forest, Jay slid the pistol into her waist holster. Taking as deep a breath as she could without jarring the arrow too much, she forced herself to her feet.

Black spots swam before her eyes. It was a real effort to remain conscious but she could not rest. She needed to assure herself that the men were no longer a threat. She was terribly concerned about Doris. The dark woman had made no move to get out from under the body that was pinning her to the ground. Stumbling over to the prone bodies, she dropped to her knees again and pushed the almost headless form until it rolled off.

"Are you okay?" asked Jay, peering into Doris' open eyes. The woman was sobbing silently but made no other moves. "Doris! You've got to snap out of it and help me."

There was no reaction and Jay spared a moment to visually check the other bodies. She softened her voice and told her, "Doris, honey, they can't hurt you anymore."

Wanting to make sure that statement was true, she laboriously climbed to her feet and went around the clearing. Gritting her teeth, she leaned over to check each man for a pulse.

Dizzy with relief and blood loss, she returned to Doris' side. Touching her gently, Jay pleaded with the taller woman. "Please, you're safe now. Come back."

Getting no response, Jay looked up. The sun was well on its journey across the sky. "You've got to wake up. I can't carry you," she muttered. "I can't carry me." Closing her eyes, she tried to calm the frantic beat of her heart.

She didn't know how long she had knelt there when she felt a hand on her leg. Snapping her head up, she was glad to see Doris' dark eyes on her.

"How?"

"They're dead. Come on."

"He was so heavy and it hurt."

"I know, but we need to get out of here."

"I thought I was going to die." There was wonder in her voice.

"But you didn't. You've got to hold onto that now. You're not dead and you need to help me."

Doris focused her attention on Jay. "How did you get free?"

"I broke the arrow off. Can we go now?"

Doris sat up and pulled the tattered remains of her shirt together. She kicked out at the dead man lying across her legs, nearly sobbing until she was free. She flinched when Jay touched her shoulder.

"We really have to get out here."

"Why? They're all dead." Doris looked around the clearing at the carnage. Flies had begun to be drawn to the blood and were buzzing around the wounds and staring eyes. "What do we have to worry about? You've killed them all."

"Maybe." Jay tried to get to her feet and failed. She shook her head and pushed against the ground, almost smiling when her knees locked and she finally stood. "We need to go."

"Why?"

"Look around, Doris. None of them have camping gear or packs."

"So?"

"So, it means their camp is somewhere else, most likely, with folks who are going to come looking for these guys because they heard the shots or because they don't return when they are expected."

Doris surged to her feet and looked around wildly. "How many more?"

"I don't know. We just need to get away from here."

Looking down at herself, Doris started to cry again. "My clothes." She tried to pull the torn pieces of her shirt together. Unsuccessful in her effort to cover up her chest, she turned her brown eyes on Jay.

Jay turned to look at her. She couldn't believe that the state of her attire was a major issue. "Sorry. I thought upper body shots were safest. Take his pants, he's about your size."

"You're kidding me. I can't take his pants."

"Then make do with what you have." Jay sagged against the support of a tree trunk. "Make it quick, though."

Doris scrubbed the heels of her hands over her eyes. "What's the almighty rush?"

"I'm starting to fade. We have to start moving soon."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm fucking bleeding here and we need to get out of here before I pass out." Jay had stepped away from the tree when she started speaking. Dizzy, her legs buckled on the last word.

Jumping forward, Doris was able to take most of Jay's weight and ease her to the ground. For a moment, she just stared at the unconscious form in her arms. She panicked and shook Jay, crying, "Wake up! Wake up!"

Jay groaned and tried to pull away from the vise that was squeezing her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Doris' face. "What?"

"Oh, thank goodness. You fainted."

"And you think shaking someone with an arrow through them is a good way to wake them up?" Jay snapped as she cradled her arm against her chest. Glancing over at Doris, she saw her crying in remorse. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Jay gritted her teeth and slowly made her way to her feet. "Let's just try to make it back to the house without killing one another, okay?"

"I'm sorry."

Jay didn't answer. She stood swaying for so long that Doris asked, "Hey, I thought you wanted to go." She lightly grasped Jay's wrist. "Hey?"

Her entire body jerked and Jay pulled away from her. Raising a trembling hand to her forehead, Jay swallowed. "Sorry. I keep phasing out." She shifted slightly and grimaced.

"What can I do?"

"There isn't much that can be done until we get back."

"Isn't there anything?"

"I need some sort of a sling."

"With what?"

"Take one of their belts."

Doris was tentative about touching the bodies but she took another glance at Jay's face. It was a color gray that she didn't think human beings came in. Swallowing hard, she forced herself to roll one of her attackers over. Anticipating his turn at her, his buckle was already undone. She brought belt over and helped Jay move her arm into place.

Once her arm was supported, Jay was able to straighten up. "Okay. Let's get this show on the road." The two women started to retrace their steps back to the path.

Jay had a hard time walking in a direct line. After stumbling over a root, Doris took her arm. She received a flash of smile in thanks.

On the narrow deer path, they had to walk closely together. Doris found herself taking more of the other woman's weight. "Can you do this?" she asked before they attempted the steep incline back to the road.

The throbbing of her shoulder made it hard for Jay to concentrate. Her voice breathy, she answered, "It's not like I've got much of a choice."

They were both sweating and panting when they reached the top. Jay was also shivering and mumbling to herself. At the top, her legs buckled and they both went crashing to their knees.

Looking into the glazed eyes, Doris began to feel real fear. "Should I leave you here and bring back help?" Doris asked.

"No. Don't leave me." Jay made the effort to regain her footing. With the other woman's help, she was able to stand. "I can do this."

"You're going to kill yourself."

"Nonsense. I'm fine."

"I don't believe you."

"Just watch me." Digging into her reserves, Jay lifted one leg and then the other. Slowly but surely, she lurched the remaining distance to the mountain hideaway.

Doris nearly wept in relief when she saw the house. "Oh, thank you, Jesus," she said. She supported the almost dead weight of the other woman across the clearing. "Hang on, it's just a little farther."

At the pond, she called out. "Help! Hey, we need some help out here." She was surprised that no one came to meet them, not even the dogs.

Using their last remains of strength, they made it into the house. "Hello? Anyone here? I could use a little help," she shouted. There was no response and she stood there, holding Jay upright and dithered about what to do.

"Put me down," whispered Jay.

"Where?"

"Table."

"I can't get you up on the table by myself."

"No. Sit in chair. Lean on table."

The two of them made their slow way to the dining table. Freeing one hand, Doris pulled out a seat and eased the other woman down.

"Now what?"

"Lay down."

Doris assisted the semiconscious woman in leaning one arm on the table. Gently, she helped lower her head to rest on her bent forearm. Not knowing what to do about the other arm, she left it hanging from the sling.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked. Not waiting for an answer, she patted the dark head and turned toward the French doors. "I've got to find help, Jay."

"Go. I'll be here."

A nervous smile ghosted across her face. "You be sure to do that." Doris came out of the back door at a dead run and scanned the clearing. She didn't see anyone and felt an icy weight in her bowels. She had no idea what she would do if she couldn't find anyone.

In anguish, she headed to the top of the cliff and nearly sobbed in relief when she spied her friends and family. They were all down spreading compost and turning the soil under. For the first time, she felt truly grateful for their presence.

"Hey!" she shouted.

Martha looked up. "Hey, yourself. We didn't expect you back so soon."

"You need to help me," she called down to them.

Shading her eyes Susan studied the agitated women. "What's the problem?"

"Get up here and help me."

"What's up?" Martha asked, setting her hoe down. "Are you all right?"

"It's Jay. She's hurt." When the other women just stare up her, she added desperately. "Really bad. Come quickly."

Martha and Piper reacted immediately to the panic in her voice and led the race up the stone steps. Doris waited only long enough to see that they're responding before she turned and headed back to the house.

Catching up to her, Martha grabbed her arm. "What's wrong?"

Doris shook off the hand. "Let me go. Jay needs you."

"What happened?" Piper demanded.

"Are you hurt?"

Doris looked down at the bloodstains on her clothes and hands. "No. It's not mine."

"Where is she?"

"In the house. At the table."

"Mama," Eva cried. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine now, baby." She glared at Martha. "Please, go help her." Doris stopped walking, enfolded Eva in her arms and began sobbing.

Exchanging glances at the uncharacteristic plea and emotional outburst, Piper and Martha delayed no longer. They sprinted to the house and into the kitchen. They came to a stop over the huddled form in the dining room. The back of her shirt was almost entirely crimson and the feathered haft of the arrow vibrated slightly as Jay drew breath.

"I'm going to be sick."

Martha looked at the white faces of Cody and Carol. She knew that the best thing for everyone was to give them something to do. "Okay, you two start some water boiling. I need some scissors and for someone to go downstairs and bring up some bandages from the first aid closet."

She went down on one knee and felt for a pulse on Jay's neck. She swallowed in relief as the woman moaned softly in response to her touch.

Piper took the scissors from Cody and gently cut away the bloody shirt, starting at the collar. Exposing Jay's back, she could hardly see skin for all the blood. Biting her lip, she pressed on the area surrounding the entrance of the arrow. She felt the bone give beneath her fingers as Jay shifted in agony. "Her shoulder is in at least two pieces," she said, wincing in sympathetic pain. Looking at Martha, she asked, "Are you ready to check out her front?"

"Yeah. We'll need to turn her slightly and support her head."

Jay's other hand scrabbled across the surface of the table as she felt herself falling back. She blinked into Martha's startled eyes. "Whoa," she whispered.

"Whoa, yourself. You been awake long?"

"Don't think so."

"How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy." Jay tried to stifle a cough. "Hurts to breathe."

Martha and Piper cut the rest of her shirt away from the broken end of the arrow. "What happened?" asked Martha.

"These guys. They came out of the woods. It was horrible." Doris was standing in the doorway, her arms tight around her midriff. She began to cry and was taken into Susan's arms. "Oh, dear Lord. This is all my fault."

"Shh," soothed Susan. "You didn't make them shoot her. It's not your fault."

"She wouldn't have been out there if it hadn't been for me."

"Hey, neither of you would have been anywhere near there if I hadn't made you run." Piper's voice was filled with self-loathing.

"We can assign blame later," Martha said. "We've got a few more important things on our hands right now." She watched as Doris pulled out of Susan's arms and went out the back door. Knowing she couldn't deal with her sister right then, she stiffened her back. "Have you ever dealt with something like this?" she asked the room.

"Not without knowing an ambulance was screaming to my location." Piper's voice shook. "I don't know where to start."

"There's always the ABC's."

Both of the women turned their attention to Susan. Piper asked, "What?"

"You know, airway, breathing and circulation."

"Yeah but what about after that?" Piper was still very frightened.

"Maybe Jay can help." Martha leaned forward. She lightly tapped Jay's cheek and waited for the eyes to focus on her. "Jay, I need your help."

"What?"

"I need to you stay awake and tell me what to do."

"Why now…all of a sudden?"

Martha was about to respond sharply when she saw the slight smile on Jay's lips. "I know that asking for help is out of character," she responded. "But this is a little out of my league." She took the cloth that Carol gave her and gently wiped at the dirt and sweat soaked face.

"It's gotta come out."

"Yeah. I kind of figured that. Why didn't you take it out when it happened?"

"Thought I'd bleed to death if I did." Jay blinked slowly.

"You were probably right about that." Martha touched the broken end sticking inches out of her chest. "Just pull?"

"Your guess as good as mine."

"All right. What about afterwards? You're going to do all that bleeding now. And infection, too."

"Should cauterize it."

"How are we supposed to do that?"

"A screw and pruning shears. Cut haft close…to skin…and…put in the screw. Heat it, red hot."

"Pull it out the back or front?"

"Pull it out the back," Jay panted, coughing weakly. When she tried to speak again, they could see blood on her teeth.

Concerned, Martha pulled out a stethoscope from the medics bag. She closed her eyes when she heard the wet crackling from the injured woman's lungs. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself down.

"What?" His voice cracked on the word. Cody was close to tears and his mother enfolded him in her arms.

"Diminished breath sounds on the left." Martha's face was grave as she met Jay's eyes. "That's not good."

Jay nodded and winced. "Yeah, think it nicked my lung."

"This is going to be bad."

"I…know…Might crash…"

"Crash?"

"Her heart might stop," Martha spoke over her shoulder. "We can do CPR."

"Don't," Jay murmured, her head lolling against Piper's supporting hands. "No extraordinary measures."

"We're not going to just let you die."

"Good to hear. Just don't…kill yourselves." Jay's eyes fluttered closed and she sagged sideways.

Chapter Sixteen - There is a Balm in Gilead

There is a balm in Gilead
To make the wounded whole;
There is a balm in Gilead
To heal the sin sick soul.
Words & Music: Unknown

"Jay!" Martha shouted.

Piper moved one of her hands and felt for a pulse. "She's still with us."

Martha stood up and shook out her hands. Taking a deep breath, she dried her suddenly damp hands on her slacks and began to issue orders. "Okay, we've got to collect things." She pointed at Cody. "Run down to the garden and get a set of pruning shears. You know what they look like?" At his nod, she turned to Susan. "I don't know how much blood there will be. We'll need towels and a lot more bandages if we're going to perform an operation."

"What about me?" Piper asked. She continued to hold Jay upright against the back of the chair. Her hands tightened as Jay coughed again and shifted in pain.

"Keep her still. I'm going to go downstairs and get a screw and the propane torch. I'll come back and wash my hands and then I'll relieve you and you can do the same."

"What can we do?" Carol asked, indicating her and Eva.

"Clear off the table. We'll move her there after we get the arrow out. Then get her bed cleared off upstairs."

Everyone dispersed to their tasks. Susan leaned out the back door and looked for Doris. She was sitting on one of the lounge chairs with her head in her hands. Unsure of whether she should go out and comfort her, Susan decided to wait until the operation was over.

Once everyone had returned from their errands, Martha looked around at the pale faces. "Gang, this going to be hard. If you don't think you'll be able to handle it, you need to leave now. There is no shame in it. Heck, I think I'd head for the hills if I could." There were a few smiles at the comment.

"Let's hope they're right that laughter is the best medicine, cause we are sure short on any other kind." She looked around and saw fierce determination in every face. "Well, let's get to it then."

The extraction was every bit as bad as Martha had imagined. The smell of burnt flesh was nauseating and everyone was close to exhaustion before Jay was breathing on her own again. They wrestled the unconscious woman upstairs and laid her on her bed.

Susan tucked the sheet around on the limp figure and smoothed the bangs on the damp forehead. "I think she's running a fever."

"Some of that could be her body trying to heal but we won't know for sure for another few hours. We need to have nursing shifts. She shouldn't be left alone." Piper flipped to a blank page of Jay's bedside journal. She made three columns and labeled them Pulse, Resp, and Temp. "We should fill this out every few hours to track whether she's actually getting better or not."

Martha continued to dry her already dried hands on a towel. "What for? It's not like we can do much more than we already have."

"Don't say that," Susan's voice was harsh. "Recovery is partially mental. We need to think positive."

"You think you can just will her better?" Martha scoffed.

"If you've got a better plan, I'm willing to listen."

"Easy, both of you." Piper interrupted. "You're both right. Jay's a fighter but this is bad. We don't have much more than hope and good thoughts to give her."

"Sorry."

"Don't sweat it. We're all a little tense from the strain. Why don't you two go and I'll take tonight."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm not particularly tired." She pushed a pile of clothes off the chair that was sitting by bed and sat down in it. "Go on and get some rest. Tomorrow might be pretty rough but that operation took a lot out of her. I doubt she'll be any trouble."

It was hours later when Piper was roused from her half sleep by noises from the bed. Jay had kicked off much of the covers and her head was rolling back and forth. She stiffened and opened her eyes when Piper touched her wrist. "Who?"

"It's me, Jay."

"Water?" Jay licked her dry lips.

"Sure. Here you go. Please take small sips." Piper lifted her up a bit and held the mug of cold tea to her mouth. Trickling only a small amount of the liquid at a time, Piper was able to get most of the cup into Jay before she slipped back to sleep.

Jay did not stir again for the rest of the night. The next morning, soon after Martha had started her shift, she had a coughing fit. Things went downhill from there. By lunch, she was breathing in short pants. Anytime she tried to take a deep breath, she would begin coughing.

Martha had the idea of raising her upper body up on a stack of pillows. Once they lifted her up, she didn't seem to struggle as much. As the hours passed, though, her temperature rose.

It was late when Susan jerked awake, wondering what had disturbed her. She looked over at the bed and saw the wet glistening of Jay's open eyes. Jay started when Susan leaned on the bed. "Easy, easy," she whispered as she leaned close. "How are you feeling?"

"Cold," Jay panted. She tried to clear her throat but winced from the pressure in her chest.

"You've got a fever."

Weak fingers plucked at the covers. "Not hot. Cold."

"Okay. Let me get another blanket." Susan opened up the cedar chest at the foot of the bed and pulled out a wool blanket. Laying it down over Jay, she sat down beside her. "Can you try and drink something?"

"Don't want to. Feel sick."

"Would you try?'

Ignoring the weakly shaking head, Susan tried to get her to sip from a glass of water. Jay began coughing deeply after only a couple of swallows. Rolling her over, Susan held her as she coughed and vomited up blood and stomach acid. When the spasm was over, Jays' pulse was very faint.

The next afternoon, Piper held a saturated sponge to Jay's lips. She mumbled something and licked her cracked lips. Once the water touched her tongue, her mouth moved, seeking more. Piper slowly dribbled more into Jay's mouth.

After the last try at drinking had led to a coughing bout, they had been doing everything they could to avoid a repeat. The water dripped slowly and steadily from the sponge into her dry mouth. Jay was able to swallow without coughing.

Her eyes opened briefly, blinked and then opened again to study the concerned face looking down on her. "Piper."

"Yeah." Wetting a cloth, Piper wiped her head and upper chest. The water seemed to dry instantly on the fevered skin.

"Not good."

"No, you're not doing so well."

"Back hurts."

"That may actually be from the fluid in your chest." Piper dampened the sponge. "Do you want more to drink?"

"Ice?"

"To eat?"

"Skin."

"Good idea. Will you be okay while I go get some?"

"Try."

Piper clattered down the spiral staircase. She went into the kitchen and began to crack all of the ice cube trays into a towel. She glanced up when she heard a noise from the living room.

"Who's there?"

Doris came around the corner. "It's only me. What's happening?"

The two of them hadn't been alone together since their kiss. Piper flinched visibly when Doris came closer and held the freezer door open. "Um. I'm collecting ice from the freezer to try and bring her fever down," she replied as she slid the water filled trays inside.

Doris debated for a moment before she asked, "Do you need help?"

"Sure," answered Piper. "Grab the towel and let's go upstairs." She led the way to Jay's bedroom.

Together, they placed several towels on the bed and under Jay. Piper and Doris worked together to place the ice under Jay's neck, around her head and over her feet and hands. Once that was done, they sat in silence and waited to see if their ministrations had any effect.

It wasn't too long before Jay began to fidget and moan. Piper pressed down on her shoulders. Shivering and moaning, Jay fought against the hands that held her down.

"Stop, Jay. We're not trying to hurt you." Piper brushed her hand across the struggling woman's forehead. "Easy, now."

Responding more to the soothing hand than to the words, Jay slowly calmed. She continued to shiver until they removed the ice melt and wet towels.

"I think she'll sleep easier for a while."

"Why don't you head to bed?" asked Doris. "I haven't pulled a night shift yet and I suppose it's time."

"Well, if you think so."

"I'll be fine and Martha will be awake soon."

Jay was struggling for every breath the next morning. Doris had elevated her further during the night, so that she was almost sitting up in bed.

When Martha took over, she decided to change the bandages. The skin was tight around the wound on her chest but swollen where the arrow had entered her back. She manipulated it carefully and was distressed when the blood that oozed out under pressure was watery.

"Jay, wake up. Come on, Jay. I need to talk to you." Martha gently slapped the flushed cheeks until the injured woman responded, albeit weakly.

"Why…you hitting me?"

"I need you to help me."

"Kay." Jay blinked owlishly.

"I think your lung has collapsed. What should I do?"

"Dunno."

"I was hoping for a little more than that." Martha clenched her hands in frustration. "Jay, help me here."

"Know how you can find out." Jay said between gasps.

"How?"

"Medic manual on cd." Jay closed her eyes for a moment. Reopening them, she panted. "Also, bottom of the closet…surgical supplies."

"The wound looks infected. What should we do?"

"Poultice. Garlic and onion, hot as…stand it." She lay still and gasped for a moment.

"How do we make it?"

"Boil water, make a paste…put a layer of gauze, then paste, more gauze and wrap in plastic wrap."

"Do I cook the garlic and onion?"

"No. Raw."

"Anything else we can do?"

"Willow bark tea. For the fever."

"Okay, I'll get to work on these. Can you try and stay awake? Susan will talk to you." Martha moved out the way and let her lover take her place on the bed. When she got downstairs, she waved Piper over. "Give me a minute to flip on the breaker and you can turn on the computer."

"What's up?"

"I think her lung collapsed and you need to figure out what to do."

"Why do I have to do the research?"

"Because you're doing the surgery."

"What?"

Martha held out her trembling fingers. "I can't do it. You have no idea what it took out of me the last time. I don't trust myself." Without another word, she went downstairs. After flipping the breaker, she grabbed the surgical pack out of the closet. On her return, she went over to the bookcase and pulled down a field manual on trees.

Calling the teenagers together, she pointed out the willow tree. "I need you guys to find me some of this plant. Bring me back some bark."

The three of them studied the book and headed out of the house. "We're going to try down by the creek," called Carol.

"Be careful. We don't know if whoever did this to Jay is still out there." Martha walked over and opened the closet. "Take a weapon each and stay on guard." She watched them leave with a heavy heart but knew that she couldn't spare the others.

Walking to the dining room table, she sat down with the surgical kit. She opened up the bag and saw a bewildering array of equipment. She could identify a clear tube, clamps, scalpel, forceps, and a retractor. The rest of the items looked more like devices of torture than healing. Seriously worried, she got up to see if Piper had had any success.

Piper was peering intently at the monitor. Occasionally, she would take notes on a pad beside her.

Leaning over her, Martha asked, "What did you find?"

"Lots of stuff after I changed my search."

"What do you mean?"

"Collapsed lung didn't bring up anything. She's actually got a pneumothorax. Also, we should have been making her cough."

"It hurts when she does."

"I know but the manual says that she has to."

"How do we deal with the lung?"

Piper swiveled in her chair to look Martha in the eye. "Oh, it's a snap. We just remove of the air from the pleural cavity by inserting a hollow plastic tube between the ribs, and attach it to a suction device." She sighed. "I basically have to shove a tube into the her chest and hope I hit blood before I hit a vital organ like, say, her heart."

"Just follow the directions."

"Yeah, right. I can't believe we're seriously considering this."

"I don't think we have a choice." Martha took a quick look over her shoulder. "She's dying."

"I know, I know. It's the fear talking." Sending the current document to the printer, Piper added, "I don't even know if we have the stuff to do the procedure."

"We do." At Piper's look of disbelief, she nodded. "You should see what's in the surgical kit. I think it's got everything we could possibly need."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Print out anything else you'll need and let's take a look together." Martha led the way back to the dinning room table.

Doris came over and stood with them. "What's happening?"

"We're trying to learn how to do surgery," answers Piper. "Want to join us?"

She let her hands touch the sterile packs. "I've never done anything like this before."

"Join the club. Neither have we." Piper picked up an armload. "Come on."

The two women carried all the supplies upstairs and heard Jay talking to Susan.

"How's Doris?" Jay asked.

Susan looked down at her. "Why?" she asked. "What's wrong with her?"

"They assaulted her. I couldn't get free. She okay?" Jay tossed her head in distress.

"I don't know, she hasn't said anything to anyone." Susan answered, turning to stare directly at Doris. "Maybe she'll tell us when she's ready."

"I'm fine."

Jay shifted slightly on the bed and looked around until she could see into Doris' eyes. "You were raped."

"You were shot."

"Sucks to be us, eh?" Jay swallowed and turned her eyes to the others. "What's the plan?"

"I'm going to stick this in between your ribs and we're going to siphon out all the air and fluid that is keeping your lung from reinflating." Piper held up the tube.

"Easy peasy." Wincing, Jay looked at the others. "Got to keep me still. This is going to hurt." She smiled at Piper. "Don't want you to miss."

"You and me both." Piper took a couple of deep breaths. "You all realize that I'm flying blind here, right?"

Martha reached over and began rubbing at the tension in the other woman's shoulders. "Actually, you're flying by manual. It makes all the difference in the world." She turned Piper around and gazed deeply into her eyes. "I have faith in you."

Nodding, Susan stepped up behind her and hugged her. "You can do this."

Gritting her teeth, Piper followed the directions from the manual on inserting the chest tube. It took all the strength of the other women to hold Jay down for the operation. After it was over, Jay was unconscious again. Susan stayed with her while the other women went back downstairs.

Sitting at the table, Martha opened up a bottle of wine. Pouring a glass, she drained it and filled it again before offering the bottle to the others. "Okay, we've got to get something for pain at the very next opportunity."

"I still don't know why we couldn't give her wine or tequila."

"Beyond the fact that it would take a lot to get her drunk enough to cut the pain, the alcohol has a sedative effect. It would make it even harder for her to breathe." Piper was still flipping through the pages she had printed out.

"What's next?"

"The text says that the lung will usually return to normal in 48 to 72 hours." She looked at the others. "So, we wait."

Martha nodded. "Maybe while we wait, you can tell us exactly what happened." She looked at her sister. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Jay needed all your attention. I didn't want there to be any distractions."

"You call sexual assault a distraction?"

"It was only the one and, then, Jay killed him."

"Doris, don't try to minimize it. You were raped."

"She's in worse shape."

"This isn't a hierarchy of wounds." Susan came downstairs and gently squeezed her sister in laws clenched fists. "What can we do to help?"

"I'm fine," Doris insisted.

Martha, Piper and Susan looked at each other helplessly. Finally, Martha cleared her throat. "Okay. But if you're ever not fine and need to talk or anything, please come to one of us. No-one wants to see you hurting."

"Don't worry about me."

"You're my sister. Of course, I'm going to worry." She walked around the table and hugged Doris.

"I'll be all right. Now, we've got to set up shifts to see if what we just did is going to help or hurt the patient."

For three days, they took turns sitting vigil while Jay struggled to heal. They changed the poultice twice a day. Almost imperceptively and only because they could track the change in the journal, did she seem to recover. Eventually, the infection and her fever disappeared and she was able to sleep through the night.

On the seventh morning after the attack, when Susan came up the staircase with a cup of tea, Piper smiled. "It may be my imagination but I think she's breathing easier."

"Has she woken up?"

"She has been muttering this past hour. Should be any time now." Piper stretched and opened the curtains. "You've had breakfast?"

"Yep."

"All right. I'm going to get some sleep. Call out if you need anything." Collecting the empty cups and dry washcloths used that night, Piper headed downstairs.

"We alone?"

Susan was startled by the hoarse question. Sitting down on the side of the bed, she laid a cool hand on Jay's cheek. "Yes, we're alone. How are you feeling?"

"Wiped out." Jay tried to push herself up on her elbows. A sharp pain in her back, dropped her back onto the bed, coughing.

"What are you thinking? Stay still, you idiot." Susan helped ease Jay onto her side and held her through the spasms that racked her body. When she stopped coughing and her pulse began to climb back down, Susan rolled Jay onto her back. She watched closely as Jay's color improved before she offered Jay a mug of tea.

She drank the foul tasting drink of steeped bark, grimacing as she did so. "Who was it that suggested this?" she asked facetiously.

"It was yet another one of your good ideas."

"Good thing I'm so full of them."

"Hmm. I always thought that you were full of it." Susan busied herself taking Jay's pulse. "You really gave us a scare."

"Yeah. I think I scared myself. That whole not breathing thing is a tough way to go."

"Thank goodness you had the supplies and manual."

"Some antibiotics and pain killers wouldn't have been amiss."

"So, you're a dreamer, too"

Jay shifted slightly. "Have y'all seen any sign of those guy's friends?"

"No."

"Did you put out a guard?"

Shaking her head, Susan asked. "We never even thought about it. Do you think we're in danger?"

Jay lay quietly for a while. "I don't think we're in any more trouble than we were before. I don't know where those guys were from or where they were going. Hopefully, any friends they have won't want to borrow trouble by coming after whoever killed them."

"Are you okay about the killing?" Susan picked up the washcloth and began to wipe Jay down. "Doris said you blew them all away."

"I did what I had to do."

"That wasn't my question."

Rolling her head, Jay moved until she was able to look Susan in the eye. "I'm in no condition to second guess myself. Check in with me again once I'm back on my feet. Right now, I need to focus on getting better."

"I'll hold you to that." Susan laughed. "You know you can always talk to me."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Now, why don't you try to sleep some more?"

As she could barely hold her eyes open, Jay nodded and let Susan tuck the covers around her. Her breathing evened out and her muscles relaxed as she slumbered.

Chapter Seventeen - Tarry With Me

Deeper, deeper grow the shadows,
Paler now the glowing west,
Swift the night of death advances;
Shall it be the night of rest?
Words: Caroline L. Smith, 1852 Music: John B. Dykes, 1862


For a long moment after she woke up, Jay lay perfectly still. Only three days ago, she had woken up to a nightmare. She was only just now realizing that it wasn't just a bad dream.

One of the curtains wasn't closed all the way and there was a beam of sunlight shining directly onto her face. She winced when she tried to open her eyes. Closing them tightly against the glare, she listened intently until she determined that no one was in the room with her.

Opening her eyes, she confirmed what her other senses told her. The room was empty. Jay sighed, grateful for that small favor. She needed to get away. She didn't feel able to handle the clogging sympathy and concern that was being showered on her by the other occupants of the house.

They didn't understand that she wanted to be alone. She had to think about her narrow brush with death and she had to figure out what she was going to do if or when she recovered.

Taking in a deep breath, she held it tightly as she rolled on to her right side. Supporting her left arm against her chest, she pushed up and swung her legs off the bed. Hissing softly, she struggled up into a sitting position.

She had to blink quickly to clear the black spots from her vision. Wishing away the nausea, she stumbled over to lean against her dresser. Jay opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of pants. Balancing on one leg was a chore but she zipped up the pants and moved to the closet. There, she chose a soft flannel shirt and eased her arms in and it over her back. She struggled with the buttons and then sat up down to rest.

To finish dressing would be the hardest part. Taking a few breaths, as deep as she could manage, she felt up to putting her socks on her feet. When she slipped her feet into her boots, she nearly fell over as she bent to tie her laces.

Once she recovered from the dizziness, Jay made her way to the staircase and climbed laboriously downstairs, clutching the banister on either side to keep from falling face first to the floor. It was funny but she couldn't remember the stairs being so steep or so long before.

At the bottom, she looked over and saw Doris sitting at the dinning table sipping on a cup of tea. For a long moment the two women stared at one another. The ticking of the grandfather clock was the only noise in the house.

Doris blinked first. Nodding silently, Jay went to the closet and pulled out a jacket and a weapon. Gritting her teeth, she was able to slide her good arm into the sleeve and the other side over her shoulder. She missed her first attempt was finally able to put her automatic in her pocket with a handful of bullets.

For a moment, she considered going into the kitchen and getting something to drink. Jay was afraid that the sleeping members of the household would awake and stop her escape. Her need to get away overrode her thirst.

Never turning around, she walked out of the house. When she gently closed the door behind her, the dogs leapt and bounded around her. In a stern voice barely above a whisper, she commanded them to stay and guard. She didn't look back as she walked past the lake and disappeared into the woods.

"Where's Jay?" Piper shouted an hour later. She almost fell down the staircase, catching herself under one arm on the railing and nearly dropping the mug of tea that she had taken up for the patient.

"She's not up there?"

Piper rolled her eyes at Susan's question. "Do you think the room is so big that I could have missed her?"

"I was just wondering if you checked the bathroom."

"Can she even make it that far on her own?" Piper asked before turning to go back up the stairs.

"She went for a walk." Doris' quiet statement silenced everyone.

"What? She shouldn't be out of bed. How could you let her go?"

"Who am I to stop her?"

"You're right. Perhaps if you had been somebody who gave a thought once in a while to someone other than themselves, we wouldn't even need to be having this conversation." Piper's tone was scathing.

"What are you saying? That this is my fault?"

"Give the lady a cigar. Jay wouldn't be hurt and certainly wouldn't be out wandering around if it wasn't for you."

"Oh, and you had nothing to do with it." Doris sneered. "You kissed me."

"So I made an error of poor taste and judgment. What's your excuse?"

Doris' eyes filled with tears. "None of you have ever made a secret about how little you want me around. I'll just leave."

"Don't be an idiot, sis." Martha was impatient. "This isn't about you right now." She glared at Piper. "You aren't helping things either. Right now, we need to figure out what we're going to do about Jay."

"We need to go look for her."

"I think we should wait." Susan had her arms crossed tightly over her chest. "I think she needed to be alone."

"What?"

"Doris, did she say anything?"

"No. She just took off."

"All right, then. She obviously left under her own power. We need to wait."

"There must have been a reason," Piper wondered aloud. "She hasn't been able to be awake for more than a few hours at a time. Why would she leave?"

"We won't know that until she returns."

"And where?" Piper walked to the French doors. "Maybe her fever came back and she's out there, wandering around and out of her head."

Doris spoke quietly. "She seemed to know what she was doing."

"How do you know?"

"Her actions were very deliberate."

"Tell me exactly what happened." Martha sat down at the table. "Don't leave anything out."

"There isn't much. She had a little trouble with the stairs. We looked at each other and she went to the closet and got her coat." Doris drew her finger through the water rings on the table. "She put her pistol in her pocket with some ammunition and went out the door."

"Oh, that's just great. She's out there with a weapon."

Susan barked, "Calm down. Have you ever known her to leave the house without some form of personal protection? Her having a gun doesn't mean anything."

"Doesn't it?"

"Not really. I think she just needed some time away from us."

"Why? What did we do?"

"Think about it. She's been alone here for a long time. We come and she not only has to baby-sit us but she now has to recover from a life threatening injury. She doesn't like feeling dependent at the best of times."

"Are you sure about this?"

Susan shook her head. "No. But it's a plausible explanation."

"I still think we should look for her."

"Give her some time to get it out of her system. We don't want to her to think that she is a prisoner."

"And you're willing to risk her life on your idea that she just wanted a time out?"

"We have to honor her decisions."

"How long are we to wait while she is out there, dying out in the woods?"

"Give her until after lunch."

"I hope you're right."

"So do I. So do I." Susan glanced out the window and offered a prayer that she was doing the right thing for her friend.

When Jay left the house, she headed down the hill. It was not because she had a destination in mind but because it was easier in her weakened state. She was hardly out of sight of the house before she started to struggle, feeling the burn in her lungs and ache in her muscles. Once she hit the road, she followed it for about a hundred yards until she came to an abandoned drive. She left the road to make her way down the steep incline to the stream.

Crossing the stream took the last of her energy and she sank to the ground at the base of tree. Her back to the smooth bark, she closed her eyes. While she waited for the frantic pace of her heartbeat to slow, she concentrated on the breathing in the fresh scent of the woods.

When she opened her eyes again, the sun had moved overhead. She was grateful for the warm sunlight as the sweat from her earlier exertion meant her shirt was cold upon her back. Cracking her knuckles, she had no more cause for delay.

She pulled the pistol from her pocket and hefted its weight in the palm of her hand. The black metal felt almost too light for the amount of power it contained. Gripping tightly, she considered how best to hold it.

In her entire life, she had never contemplated suicide before. She had no religious conviction about her body and soul belonging not to her but to God nor did she have any particularly Kantian objections about the irrationality of using her free will to destroy her freedom. At the most basic level, she was just too damn curious to ever close that door altogether.

But this was different. She was bone tired and in constant pain. Jay knew that her recovery had hardly even started. Without the medicines that had been available just a few years prior, she knew that she was looking forward to months of agony if she was going to ever return to full health.

And that was her real problem. The Big If. She abhorred the thought of having to give up her independence and identity. She fuzzily remembered the smell of infection and thought the stench of death lingered on her skin. Her body had never failed her before and the cold that settled into her very joints felt like the beginning of the end.

Like Hamlet, she felt the seductive pull of an endless sleep. She lifted her bowed head and knocked it against the tree at her back. Looking around the clearing, she watched a bird take off. Searching for what had disturbed it, she was surprised to see a large, feral cat staring across the space at her.

"Hello." Jay smiled. "Are you here to bring me some kind of message?" The cat's tail twitched. "You're kind of scrawny for a spirit guide."

The two of them stared at one another for several moments before the landing of another bird distracted the cat. Completely ignoring the woman, the cat stalked its prey. It crouched with only the tip of its tail twitching. With a graceful lunge, the feline landed on the bird and made quick work it, despite its struggles.

Jay watched the cat eviscerate the bird and carry the remains out of the clearing. She sighed. "Well, that was a pretty confusing portent. Am I supposed to identify with the bird and worry about what happens when I get distracted? Or perhaps, I'd be better off remembering that the cat lost one meal before the second nearly landed in his lap." She drew up her knees and balanced the pistol on them. "Harrumph. You're probably just making a statement about the frigging circle of life. The question I have for you is whether I'm coming or going?"

Sitting quietly, Jay listened to the sounds of the forest. She could hear the birdcalls, the music of the river, and the wind rustling the tree boughs. Becoming even more intent, she listened to the sound of the insects and the far off rustling of the cat returning to its den. Peering at the automatic, she grimaced. "Do I even belong here?" she asked.

With deadly economy, Jay ejected the magazine and quickly took the weapon apart before reassembling it just as quickly. She fed a round into the chamber and switched off the safety.

For the longest time, she stared down the barrel of the gun. The hole seemed to grow until it filled her entire vision. Finally, she turned it away from her face and ejected the unused cartridge. Sliding the bullet and the weapon into her fanny pack, she climbed to her feet.

She took one last look around the clearing before she turned and headed back the way she came. Stopping at the river, she made the laborious effort to sink to her knees. Leaning over, she took a long drink from the river before she rinsed her face and hands in the cold stream. The water tasted extraordinarily good and felt refreshing on her skin.

She made her way back to her feet and started back up the hill. It was difficult to keep her feet on the gravel road but she made it to the top without falling.

The effort used up nearly all of Jay's remaining strength. She had to hold onto one of the saplings on the shoulder and gasp for air before she could take another step. Gritting her teeth, she growled to herself before having to laugh. Not even an hour ago was she considering ending it all. Now, she was mad when it seemed like she wouldn't make it back to the house. Pushing off, she lowered her head and concentrated on putting one foot ahead of the other.

Piper stepped across the bridge and saw Jay. Her head was down and she was cradling her left arm against her stomach. Moving quickly to close the distance, Piper called out, "Jay!"

Jay's steps were erratic and there was a copper taste in her mouth. She startled when Piper suddenly appeared in front of her. "Hello."

"Hey."

"Where'd you come from?"

"I was looking for you."

Jay nodded. "Are you the only one?"

"No. We all went out in different directions." Piper slipped her shoulder under Jay's right arm. "Where did you go?"

"Didn't I tell you that I had an important appointment?"

"It must have been left off the calendar."

"We need to fire that secretary." Jay had to stop talking to concentrate on staying on her feet.

As they walked, Piper took more of Jay's weight. "Just lean on me."

"It's hard."

"Are you in pain?"

"Yes, thank God."

Piper was confused. "You're thankful you're in pain?"

"You bet." Jay panted. "It means I'm still alive."

"Well, I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks. I appreciate y'all coming out looking for me."

The two of them fell quiet as they concentrated their efforts in making their way up the trail. Piper was grateful to finally see the house. She helped Jay upstairs and was able to sit her on the bed. With an economy of motion, she was able to undress her and get lying down in bed.

"You sweated a bit during your adventures. You want me to give you a wipe down?" she asked, frowning at the pale face.

Jay clenched her jaw briefly against her dependency. Taking in a deep breath and releasing it through her nose, she managed to smile. "Thank you. That would be nice."

Moving to the stove, Piper set a log to burning before gathering together a bowl of warm water and a soft cloth. Setting everything by the bed, she pulled down the blanket and began to wash. Her large hands were gentle in their ministrations.

Jay closed her eyes and willed herself to endure the attention. The strokes were almost hypnotic and she eventually relaxed. After it was over, she tiredly refused any food. Between one breath and the next, she fell asleep.

It was full dark when Susan climbed up the stairs to the attic room. "Hey, Jay," she called. When the brown eyes fluttered open, she said, "I've brought you up a cup of tea."

"Thanks." Slowly and carefully, Jay eased up into a sitting position.

Susan watched her without making any effort to help. Once she was braced, she handed over the warm liquid. "You want to talk about what happened today?"

"Not really." Jay sipped from the mug. Over the tendrils of steam, she watched Susan watch her. "I'm really tired."

"We can do this at another time but, trust me, we're going to talk about this."

"No. I mean it. I'm really tired." Jay shifted against the pillows. She raised an eyebrow. "You know, tired."

"Oh, that kind of tired."

"Yeah. I'm also in a bit of pain."

"I think it's more than just a bit, sweetie. I just wish there was something I could do."

"Well, I thought for a brief moment there that what I wanted was to be done with the aches and pains." Her voice dropped. "Permanently."

"I thought as much."

"You're disappointed."

"I wouldn't say that." Susan leaned closer to her. "You're one of the strongest women I've ever met. The fact that you could even consider killing yourself scares the piss out of me." She picked up Jay's hand and held it tightly.
"Well, as you can see, I had second thoughts."

"What changed your mind?"

"A sneaking suspicion that the pain I'm feeling now is nothing compared to the everlasting torment I'm heading for." She laughed, harshly. "No reason to rush to hell."

Susan cocked her head. "You don't really believe that nonsense, do you? You've been listening to the wrong people if you think you're going to burn." She stroked her thumb over Jay's knuckles. "You've fed the hungry, clothed the naked, and loved your neighbor as yourself. If anyone deserves to make it through the pearly gates, you do."

"Aw, shucks. Your flattery is going straight to my head." Jay joked, batting her eyelashes.

"I'm serious. You saved us. Tell me what I can do to help you save yourself."

"I fear I'm just a poor patient. I don't do sick or weak well."

"It must be especially hard since you're the one that we've been going to for all the answers."

"Knowledge is power and all that jazz."

"It's still cold comfort when you're feeling ill."

"I'm scared.

"You gave us a scare, too."

"Sorry."

"I wasn't looking for an apology. I just want you know that you're not alone."

"I know that. And I'm kind of glad."

"Are you?"

"Yeah." Jay snickered at the look on Susan's face. "I guess you never expected to hear that from me?"

"You never cease to do the unexpected. I need that and I need you." Susan shrugged. "We all need each other, if we're going to make it out here."

"I hate to be the one to break it to you but no-one gets out alive."

Susan slapped her thigh. "Don't make fun. I'm serious. I know that it'll be hard but give yourself time to heal."

"I'll try." She ducked her head in the face of Susan's stare. "Okay, I will."

"It's not going to kill you to accept a little help."

"You don't know that for a fact."

"Please, baby. We want to be here for you. You've done so much for us."

Jay blushed and tugged on the blanket. "Yeah, well."

"Well nothing. It's true."

"Believe me when I tell you that it wasn't any big thing."

"I don't know how to convince you that it was. I guess that I'll have to dedicate my life to reminding you every single day how much we owe you."

"That's quite all right. I accept your thanks and will work on being a better patient," Jay answered quickly.

"Good because you're stuck with us in your life."

Smiling tiredly, Jay whispered. "I guess I can live with that."

"Do me a favor? The next time you're feeling impulsive and self-destructive, you'll pause for just a moment and think about how much I love you and would miss you if you were gone." Susan kissed the startled woman on the lips and stood up. "I'll let you go back to sleep now."

"And how exactly am I to sleep after that?"

"Sweetheart, I was just giving you a reminder that you've got something to live for." Blowing her another kiss, Susan turned and went back downstairs.

Chapter Eighteen - In the Sweet By and By
We shall sing on that beautiful shore
The melodious songs of the blessed;
And our spirits shall sorrow no more,
Not a sigh for the blessing of rest.
Words: Sanford F. Bennett, 1868 Music: Joseph P. Webster

"Where is she?"

"Outside on the patio." Martha flicked her towel over the bowl to keep the biscuits warm and glanced through the window. "She's been there all morning."

"Do you know why?"

"She said she was cold."

"She's always cold," laughed Susan. "I remember how she would always have to bring a sweater and coat when we went anywhere because she was sure to freeze."

"She doesn't seem to be able to warm up at all anymore." Martha picked up the spoon and stirred the Dutch oven. "I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to keep her out of the hot tub."

"Do we have to? I mean, it'll make her happy."

"It could kill her. The hot water would raise her blood pressure and cause dehydration. God only knows if all those bits and pieces inside her are healed enough to handle being cooked."

Susan asked, "Are you serious? It's dangerous?"

"That's why pregnant women aren't supposed to get in them at all."

"What are we going to do?"

"I'll try talking to her," offered Piper. She walked through the French doors and, after taking a deep breath, sat down in the chair next to Jay's chaise lounge.

Hearing the noise, Jay turned her head and looked at the other woman. "What's up?"

"Nothing much."

Jay nodded and closed her eyes again. It seemed like forever since she had been warm and she was trying to absorb as much heat as possible from the pale October sun.

The two of them lounged together for the next hour. During that time, Piper took quick peeks at Jay when she thought the other woman wasn't looking.

"Out with it." Jay finally spoke.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're as jumpy as a virgin at a sex party. I don't know how I'm supposed to get any rest with your fidgeting."

"Um."

"Spit out whatever's got your panties in a wad."

"I just wanted to know, uh."

Jay turned her head and glared at her. "What?"

"Do you want a blanket?"

"What?"

"I'll bring you one."

"Excuse me?"

"It'll be no problem."

"I can't believe that all that hemming and hawing was over a blanket."

"Well, yeah."

Jay stared at her with a furrowed brow. "Whatever. I'm fine."

"Good."

"Why is that good?"

"Because if you don't want a blanket, you probably don't want to take a dip."

"Go swimming? No way, it's too cold."

"I meant the hot tub."

"That's a given. I'd give my firstborn to be able to soak again but I know that it would be a bad idea."

"You're telling me."

"That's right. I am. Now, why don't you tell me what this is all about?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You're going to be." Jay raised her mug of tea. "Don't make me throw this on you. What is going on?"

"We were just a little worried about you."

"You were concerned about me?" Jay waited for Piper to nod. "So, you came out and saw me perfectly relaxed and you thought that the best thing for my health was to piss me off. Do I have that right?"

"I didn't mean to cause you any stress."

"I see."

"Do you?"

"Not really. I'm just humoring you."

"How are you, really?"

"I'm as good as I can be based on current conditions."

"That's good."

Jay lay back down and closed her eyes. After a few minutes and several heartfelt sighs from Piper later, she burst out, "Now what?"

"Are you, uh, are you mad at me?"

"Now or in general?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, right now I'm starting to be a little irritated that you're bugging me. I'm not really mad, though."

"What about the whole getting shot thing?"

"Did you shoot me?"

Piper shook her head in response. "You know I didn't."

"Then why would I be mad at you?"

"Because you wouldn't have been out there if I hadn't gotten into it with Doris."

"Remind me later to ask you about that."

"Please don't. I don't think anything you could say would be half as bad as what I'm saying to myself."

"Well, I'm not usually one to refrain from kicking folks when they're down but you plead so nicely." Jay smiled. "Do you need me to be mad at you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I thought that maybe you're feeling guilty and it could resolve some of that guilt if I were to vent on you."

"Maybe."

"Not going to happen."

"Really? Why not? I'm sure I'd be ready to kill if I'd been through what you've had to."

"That's one of our differences, Piper. All my anger went into surviving."

"But you were? Right?"

"Of course. I'm no saint. I was mad enough to kill when those animals went after Doris. And they all died at my hands. I was furious that my own weapon fired the arrow that nearly killed me. I'm not really ready to die and I was pissed that it looked like I would." Jay sighed. "I'm not mad at you or at Doris. I don't blame you for what happened."

"Why not?" Piper's voice cracked. "You could have died."

"But I didn't.

"But you could have."

"Look, we're going around in circles here. Yes, I could have died. I also could have died anytime in the last five years before you came here and you wouldn't have been any more responsible for my death than you are now." Sitting up, Jay looked earnestly at Piper. "You know, I told Susan before we left that I wouldn't be held responsible if Doris died while we were gone. And it doesn't matter how much we disagree, when those guys started on her, all I could think of was how to get both of us out of there alive. That was what mattered. And that's what matters now."

Martha walked out onto the patio. "What matters?"

"We all do."

Confused, she just sat at the end of Jay's chaise lounge. "Of course we do," she said, nodding sagely. "What are your plans for the rest of today?"

"Not much. We seem to be on target with the wood pile."

"Yep and we've put up the buck Cody brought down the other day." She yawned. "The freezer is pretty full."

"What did he use?"

"The .270."

"How are you doing for ammunition?"

"We've still got some but it is getting low."

Jay hummed to herself before she began to wiggle her feet.

Raising her eyebrow, Martha asked, "What're you thinking?"

Grinning, Jay answered, "I've just had an idea."

"Well, stow it for a bit," Susan interrupted. "I came out here to bring everyone in. It's lunch time."

Making faces at each other, the three women followed her into the house and sat at their usual places at the table. Doris and the children were already in their seats.

Jay grinned when Susan set a plate of real food down in front of her. "What? No more broth?"

"I figure that it's about time we started to do things that will stimulate your appetite."

"Well, my stomach and I appreciate it." She began slowly, lifting a forkful of the seasoned meat to her nose. Rolling her eyes in ecstasy, she shoveled the bite into her mouth. "Oh, man. This is good."

Laughing at her obvious enjoyment, the others dug into their own plates of venison stew.

Piper wiped her mouth and asked, "So, what was your idea?"

"It might be time to go back to the basics."

"What do you mean?"

"Y'all haven't done much with bow and arrows, right?"

Piper scratched her chin. "I think I'm the only one who's ever shot one."

"Then it would be good idea to conduct some archery training for the kids."

"That's a good idea for all of us." Martha opened another biscuit. "I know I could use some help."

"Excellent."

"How do you want to go about it?"

"I've got a target sheet somewhere downstairs that we can lay over one of the wood piles to give everyone something to aim at."

"I don't want to waste any of my arrows," interjected Piper. "They're not going to last long being fired into logs."
"No worries there. I've got supplies."

"Like what?"

"I've got a twenty and fifty pound bows and a bunch of training arrows." Jay drank deeply from her glass of water. "The tips aren't especially sharp and some of the arrows themselves may not be entirely straight but it will be enough to get everyone started."

"That sounds good."

"It sounds boring," Cody muttered.

"What's boring about it?"

"Standing around and shooting at the wood pile."

"Didn't you learn how to shoot your rifle by going to the target range and standing around there shooting round after round into paper targets?"

"Yeah but that was different."

"Not really. If you don't practice, you'll never be able to bring dinner down."

"Why can't I just use the rifle?"

"One day, and that day may come sooner than you think, there will be no more cartridges. Unless you want to chase the deer down and club it with your rifle, you'll need to something else in your arsenal."

"Won't the arrows run out?"

"Well, we can go out and pick up those that miss and we can always make more when our current batch runs out. The Indians didn't have a Wal-Mart they could run to and they did pretty well for themselves."

"Until the people with rifles exterminated them."

Susan laughed. "Boy, are you in a mood today. Who pissed in your cornflakes?"

"Nobody. I just want to do something more fun."

"Once you've mastered a stationary target, I've also got a graduated series of hoops for you to use."

Cody asked, "What for?"

"It's how the Native American's taught the braves to shoot. It's like skeet shooting for bows. You work on shooting an arrow through a hoop somebody's sent rolling across the lawn."

Piper looked intrigued. "I'd like to try that."

"Yeah, me too," agreed Cody.

"Great." Jay turned her attention back to her plate. "We can get all the stuff after we eat."

Once the plates were cleared, Martha and children went downstairs to find the target while Jay lay back down in one of the chaise lounges. She was glad she was past the period of falling asleep every ten minutes but the lingering lassitude was aggravating.

Piper pulled out her bow and restrung it. Wiping a cloth over the fine wood, she asked, "Where should we set up?"

Jay waved at one of the longer stacks of firewood. "I figure that if you center the banner over that, they'll have plenty surface area to hit."

"I don't look forward to chasing down the arrows that miss."

"It's the farthest pile from the cliff face. All the misses should land in the yard."

"From your lips to God's ears." Piper shrugged at Doris' glare. "Sorry, slip of the tongue." She stepped off fifty feet. "Is this far enough?"

"To start with. Since they're not used to pulling too much, we'll start them with the low weight bows and build up from there."

Using her heel, Piper dug a line in the ground. Walking back over to the patio, she rotated her shoulders. "Where are the bow and arrows?" she asked.

"Oh, that's right." Jay struggled to her feet and led the way inside. "Call everyone together."

She waited until the household had gathered around her before she walked over toward the bedrooms. "I should have shown you all this earlier." She looked up at Doris. "And before you get all righteous, I didn't tell you because I didn't really want to have to deal with it."

"Deal with what?" Susan asked.

"Give me a minute to get it open. I came a little too close for comfort to death and y'all need to know about the other secret room."

"You never told us there was another one," accused Cody.

"At the time, you guys were too young." Laboriously, she went down on her knees before the bookcase that was centered between the two bedrooms. She shoved the books on the bottom shelf back to reveal three screws set equidistant apart. Pushing down on them caused the fronting on the base to pop loose. Jay set that aside and wiggled her fingers around in the recess. They all could hear a sharp click.

Jay pulled herself back to her feet. She pressed on one edge of the bookcase. When nothing happened, she put more of her weight onto the edge. This time, it rotated smoothly and they all leaned forward to peer into the darkened recess.

Martha spoke for all of them when she asked, "What do you keep in here?"

Switching on a light, Jay stepped from the front of the narrow room and waved everyone closer for a look. They saw a green metal gun cabinet and several hanging bows. There were cases of ammunition along the back wall and a stack of animal traps.

"It's a secure room. I originally put it in to hide the safe." She pointed a large, old-fashioned iron safe against the back wall. "I then started storing all the guns and stuff. Harmony wasn't big on having a lot of firepower in the house. Heck, she was rabid for gun control before the bottom fell out."

"And you weren't?" asked Doris.

"No. I've always thought that gun control meant hitting what you aimed at." Jay smiled and moved further back so that the others could step into the room.

"It's been here the whole time?" asked Cody as he explored the narrow space.

"Yes, it was built with the house."

"And you never mentioned it before?"

"You know what they say? Out of sight, out of mind."

"What's so important that you had to build a separate room to hide it?"

"Well, you all should know by now that I like secret rooms. But to answer your question, I've got the deed to the land and all of the important documents of my life. Since the collapse of the stock market much of it is just worthless paper."

"But it's bigger than what you would need for the safe."

"I wanted another secure room and, frankly, since I earned the money to pay for it, I did what I wanted."

Piper stepped in and picked up one of the bows. "What does it pull?"

"Fifty." Jay showed her the boxes of arrows. Some had blunted tips and others, deadly sharp heads. "We can use the blunt ones for target practice."

Moving by them, Martha squatted down beside a metal box. "Is this what I think it is?"

Jay nodded. "Yeah. I was able to get some plastic explosives from the guys working on the highway."

"Explosives?" Doris screeched.

"It's safe enough unless it burns," soothed Piper. "I mean, you do keep the blasting charges separate, right?"

"Of course. Also, the room is entirely concrete. Floor, ceiling, walls. Even if the rest of this place burned, the room should stand." Jay directed Piper to bring out the bows and training arrows. "

"You have all these bows but I see that you favor the cross bow."

"Yeah. It's a struggle for me to pull the weight and still be able to aim."

"I hear you." Piper handed out to the teenagers five bows.

"What are the differences?" Cody asked, looking at the two in his hands.

"One is a twenty pounder, the other is a hundred pounder."

"A hundred pounds?"

"Yes."

"Why the difference?"

"Anything below fifty pounds is only good for small game like rabbits or birds. If you want to bring down larger animals, you must have more pounds of pressure."

"Wow! I want to use this one," he said, brandishing the larger bow.

"You need to get the principals down before you attempt the heavier weapons."

Piper looked at Jay. "Shall we bring the whole box of arrows out?"

"Naw, just half." She laughed. "I expect that a number might get lost or ruined. We should keep a few back for the next training session."

Jay came out of the room and secured the hidden door. She glanced up at Susan coming out of her room.

Putting her hands on her hips, she said, "I never knew that room was there. You can't tell at all from inside."

"That's why the closets are back to back. Even if you notice that the rooms aren't large enough, you're fooled into thinking the extra space is explained by the storage area."

"I always knew you had hidden depths."

"Ha, ha. Very funny, Martha," Jay responded dryly. "Are we ready to shoot things?"

"What about the hoops?" asked Piper.

"Oh, those are in the back of the closet." Jay reached in and pulled out the four, six and twelve inch rings.

"How do they work?"

"One person stands to the right or left and send them rolling in front of the shooter. They have to get the arrow through the circle for a point."

"What do we win?"

"How about the person with the most points at the end of the day doesn't have to wash dishes for a week?"

"Cool."

With everyone's agreement, Jay sat back on the lounge while Piper instructed the others on the use of the bow. Good-natured ribbing followed whenever an arrow flew past the target but over the course of the afternoon, nearly everyone eventually demonstrated some proficiency.

The hoops were another story. At first no one was able to get an arrow through the biggest hoop. They kept at the practice and were amazed when Eva was the first to graduate to the smaller size.

"I'm tired," Jay called. "How about we call it a day?"

Piper agreed. "Yeah. I think that a good start has been made." She unstrung her bow. "We can go again in a day or so."

"Why not tomorrow?" Cody asked. He was competitive enough to not want to end the day with his sister and cousin having more points than he.

"Trust me, Cody. Your arms are going to be very sore tomorrow."

With bad grace, the young man put his bow down and joined the others in gathering up the spent arrows.

The sun dipped toward the horizon as the last shaft was brought indoors. The entire group gathered for dinner in better spirits than they had been for days. Eva and Carol sat like queens while the dishes were collected and cleaned.

Chapter Nineteen - Bringing in the Sheaves

Sowing in the sunshine, sowing in the shadows,
Fearing neither clouds nor winter's chilling breeze;
By and by the harvest, and the labor ended,
We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves.
Words: Knowles Shaw, 1874. Music: George A. Minor, 1880

"Jay, wake up." Susan put one knee on the bed and reached over to gently shake her arm. "Jay," she called loudly. When the brown eyes opened, she waited until they focused on her. "You awake?"

After clearing her throat, Jay muttered, "I think so."

Lowering her voice, Susan said, "There's some guy outside."

"What does he look like?"

"Big guy. He has some boxes of stuff and he won't come inside."

"Must be time to go a-bartering." She swung her legs off the edge and sat up. She was forced to sit still until the vise around her chest loosened. Jay squeezed her eyes closed and concentrated on not throwing up. She couldn't believe how weak she continued to be. It had been more than a month since she and Doris walked out of the woods but she was nowhere near even half strength.

"You all right?"

"I'm fine," she answered automatically. When Susan didn't move or say anything, she glanced up into worried eyes. "I'll be fine," she clarified.

Gently, Susan prodded, "You look a little less than fine."

"Sudden movements, like sitting up just now, make me a little short of breath."

"Your lung collapsed. You can't expect to return to running around anytime soon."

"Maybe not but I'd thought I'd be feeling at least a little better by now."

"You've never had any patience with weakness. Especially your own."

"I've never been this weak before."

Susan grinned. "Right. I'll just take your word for it." She walked over to the window and flung the curtains open. "What shall I tell the guy sitting in the front yard?"

"What time is it?"

"I don't know exactly. It's got to be a couple of hours after lunch, though. Was it bad for us to let you sleep through?"

Jay scratched her head, trying to stimulate her brain. "No, these naps are draining but I really needed it." She stood up and stretched, gingerly.

"Uh, the guy?" reminded Susan.

"Offer him a glass of wine. Open the bottle down there in front of him and keep filling his glass."

"Why?"

"We should take any edge we can get."

"What are you talking about? What's going on?"

"Negotiations." Jay took an experimental deep breath. She smiled when she was able to draw in a good deal of air into her lungs. "We want the advantage of being generous with our precious supplies and, if he's foolish enough to let it go to his head, we'll take advantage of that too."

"Whatever. While I'm getting a perfect stranger drunk in the front yard, what are you going to be doing?"

"Waking up."

"And after that?"

"I'll need a shower." Jay moved to her closet. Pulling down a shirt and a pair of pants, she said over her shoulder, "Tell the others that I'll need to see them downstairs in about fifteen minutes."

"Everyone?"

"Sure, we need to decide on a wish list." She started downstairs but looked back to see Susan still standing by the window. "Please and thank you," she offered with a wink.

Bemused, Susan waved her on. "I hear and obey, O Great and Powerful Oz."

"Now you're getting the idea." With renewed energy Jay headed to the bathroom. She had a quick shower, not entirely resulting from her getting lightheaded from too much standing but because she didn't want everyone to have to wait on her.

Cleaned and dressed, Jay dropped into her seat at the table and looked around at the expectant faces. "Okay, Josh is heading out for area harvest festival. We need to figure out what we need and what we've got to trade for it."

"Like what?" asked Piper.

"Shoot the moon. I mean, what have you realized that you're missing?"

"You've given us most everything we could ever need."
"Susan, it's been my pleasure but surely there are things you want. Maybe like different cloth for clothes or patterns that I don't have." Jay climbed to her feet. "I need to go out and speak to Josh. Anyone want to join me?"

Piper cleared her throat. "What do we do?"

"He's got some stuff that I told him I needed the last time we met that I can go ahead and finish the transaction. He's bound to have brought some other things to trade. You can look and see if he's got anything you want."

Susan pushed her chair back from the table. "Just show us what to do. We're here for you."
"Thank you. Let's go outside."

The old man was still sitting cross-legged on the blanket next to his two boxes. He watched them approach and tilted his glass at Jay. "Glad to see that you could finally join me."

"Hello, Josh. I'm sure that you appreciated the opportunity to have all the wine for yourself."

"Thank you for your consideration."

"Think nothing of it." Jay pointed at the four people with her and introduced them. She sat down across from him and indicated for the others to sit around her. Silently, they studied one another.

"You're looking a little peaked, Fountaine."

"It's nothing to worry about." She waved her hand. "I'm a little under the weather but I'm getting better every day."

"Looks like you've got a house full." He watched the others out of the corner of his eye. "Can you speak freely?"

Jay threw her head back and laughed. "They're not holding me hostage, old friend. I just zigged when I should have zagged."

"All right." The old man rolled another sip of wine around in his mouth. "Just curious. Were you trying to get me drunk?" Josh asked, waving the half full bottle of wine.

"Who me? I was merely trying to be hospitable." They both grinned at one another. "How was your summer?"

"Not bad. I've seen your folks around the area." His eyes trailed over the others.

"Of course, they never saw you." The two share a grin before Jay shrugs. "Just a few friends from down south decided to join us."

"Us?" he asked. "Harmony's back?"

"Not yet."

Josh stared at her for a long moment. "I'll keep a good thought."

"Thanks," Jay waved her hand. "Let's do this. What do you have?"

He pulled out several pintsize jars and set them on the ground next to his knee. "Blackberry jam. Trade for an equal weight of honey."

"Not a problem."

After her nod, he lifted out several bags. They were filled with a brown meal. "Acorn flour."

Piper reached across and hefted a bag. "How many acorns does it take to make this much flour?"

"Lots more than you can ever imagine. I sometimes feel that I've looked at every damn acorn on this mountain." The man scratched his scraggly beard and peered closely at Piper. "If you want to see the process, I'm willing to teach."

Before Piper could answer, Jay put her hand on her knee to silence her. "At what cost?"

"Shame, girl. I won't cheat your people." He snapped his teeth at them. "I only bite strangers."

"Accepted. What would be a fair exchange?"

"I need to dig out a new privy."

"One day's work?"

"Maybe three. The ground is all rock."

Jay turned to Piper. "Your choice. It will take three days of hard labor but, in return, he'll show you everything you need to know."

"Just me or could several of us learn?"

"I'm not used to having a lot of folks up in my business. I can teach one, you can teach the others."

Nodding, Piper stuck out her hand. "You've got a deal." She nearly withdrew it when Josh spit in his and reached out. She looked at Jay who grinned at her discomfort. Gritting her teeth, she spit in her own and they clasped on it.

"Come up when I get back and we'll do it then." Josh scratched his bearded chin and held out a bag. Jay took it and opened it up. "Shit, man."
"Yeah."

Jay handed the bag to Piper who whistled and handed it to Martha. It was filled with homemade nails. "How'd you get so many?"

"Made them. I finished the forge last winter. Using scraps for those."

"What do you want?"

"You decide."

"What?"

"You got a better location for growing things. You and me trade for some of your vegetables."

Running her fingers through her hair, Jay shook her head. "Like what?"

"Tomatoes and beans." He smiled. "I could use some beeswax, too."

"I suppose we can spare some," responded Jay with a grin of her own. "Six quarts total and a two pound block?"

"Done." Josh pulled out several animal pelts and set them in an overlapping pile. "Can I tempt you with any of these?"

Jay looked around. She saw several faces gazing greedily at the fur.

Eva petted the rabbit pelt. "How do you keep it so soft?"

"Make sure all the flesh is off. Air dry and salt. It'll need another soaking and then a good scraping and scudding."

"Scudding?"

"I use an old hacksaw blade to scrape and the back of a knife to scud. One takes off the flesh and the other takes off the final tissue layer. If it's not removed, the hide will spoil."

"What about these?" Eva picked up a couple pieces of soft leather.

"After slaughtering, I soak the skin in ashes and water for up to three months. All the flesh comes off and I either work in fat or brains, depending on what it's to be used for."

"Why?"

"Cause tanning the hide makes it stiff and waterproof. Depending on how you intend to use it, you know, clothes versus shoes, you've got to treat it differently." He glanced at Jay and waggled his eyebrows. "I could teach but you'd have to supply your own furs."

Doris interrupted, "I don't think that will be necessary."

"But, Mom! Touch it. They're so soft."

Clearing his throat, Josh shrugged. "Don't sweat it. Another time, perhaps."

"We'll let you know." Jay glanced at the remaining boxes. "That everything?"

"Yep."

"You want to stay for dinner?" Jay asked.

"Can you spare it?"

"Sure. I wouldn't offer it couldn't."

"Okay." Josh stood up and walked over to the pond without another word.

Piper watched him go. "That was interesting."

"He's a character all right," answered Jay. "Cody, could you go into the secret room and fetch three more bottles of wine? The cabs in the lower left corner."

Doris spoke for the first time. "Why?"

"We need something to drink with dinner." Jay beckoned the other's closer. "I noticed that several of you coveted the furs. The big question is what would you do with it when you had it and what are you willing to give for it?"

She stood up and stretched. "Think about it realistically."

Heading into the house, Jay called Carol over to help bring up several jars of honey, the canned vegetables and a block of wax. She pulled twelve venison steaks out of the freezer and carried them up to the kitchen.

"What's for dinner?" asked Susan.

"We can grill some steaks, cook a few potatoes and have a salad." Jay set the packages of meat on the barely warm stove. "Josh won't come into the house, so we'll eat this as a picnic outside."

Doris stepped into the kitchen. "Why are you feeding that man?"

"He's a neighbor. I won't let him make the trek home on an empty stomach." Jay glanced under her brows at the scowling woman. "I would have thought that you'd be pleased to have a single man at the table."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing. He's just been out here alone a long time."

Doris wandered over to the window and gazed speculatively at the swimming man. "I see."

The dinner that night was a low-key affair as Josh talked about as much as Piper did. Doris flirted shamelessly with him but he was very gentle in his rejection. He headed back to his home with a promise to return in two days time.

At the end of the meal, Jay gathered everyone together. "I've got stuff downstairs that I'm willing to spare for a good cause."

"What kind of stuff can we get?"

"Whatever your heart desires and is available for trade."

Martha's voice was low in reply. "Painkillers."

"That might be a good idea." Jay opened her arms. "Think about what you want. It's very likely that it will be available at the fair. People come down from Oregon and even from across the border. The last couple of years there have even been sailors from China."

"What do you want?" asked Susan.

"Books. I've got a pile that I want to trade. You all should go through it and anything you want to read can wait until spring festival." Jay stroked her chin. "I also want to get some nuts. And more salt."

"What about animals?"

"What do you mean?"

Susan ducked her head shyly. "I was thinking that a few chickens might be a good idea. We could have eggs and even the occasional chicken."

"Hmm." Jay pondered on that. "You know, that might be a good idea. I'm just not sure if heading into winter is the best time to start something new like that. It also might be better left for spring when it's our turn to make the trip and get exactly what we want."

"Yeah, you're probably right. We don't even have a coop."

"Don't be discouraged. It's a good idea and I don't want any of you to think that you can't make plans for this place." Sucking her teeth, she walked over to the bookcase near the bathroom and searched through the shelves until she found a specific volume. She carried it over to Susan. "This book has couple of chapters on raising birds. Why don't you review it and we can make plans for the new year."

"Great. Thanks." Susan took the book with a genuine smile.

"So, any other ideas?"
"Chocolate," Carol requested. "I haven't had any since we left the Bay Area."

"They still have coco down there?"

"I think she had connections south of the border." Martha grimaced. "It costs an arm and a leg."

Jay took hold of Carol's hand. "Come with me." She waved her arm to indicate that the invitation included everyone. "Let me show you something." She led them downstairs into the storage room. On the way in, she switched on the light. At the back corner, she twisted the light bulb in the socket to flood the dark area with illumination.

In front of them was a narrow rack. The top shelves had boxes labeled holiday decorations but the rest of the case was loaded with mason jars and cardboard boxes filled with all manner of things. One entire shelf was filled with seeds bottled with small packs of desiccant. On another shelf were boxes of sewing needles, fishing hooks, honing oil and sharpening stones, dental floss, and razor blades. Below that shelf was a smaller shelf of water filters, light sticks, and packages of wicks and mantles. On the floor was a case of several different strengths of reading glasses.

"I'll be the first to admit that Y2K was blown all out of proportion. But it did open my eyes up to the 'end of the world as we know it' planning of the various militias. Online, I found a number of websites loaded with supply guidelines and suggestions for what would be the most use in bartering."

She looked around the group. "I think everyone should make out a dream list. I'm sure this stuff will come in handy and, if what you want is available and easily portable, we should see if Josh can get it."

The happy smiles of her housemates convinced her that she was doing the right thing. She left them to their dreams and went upstairs to take another nap.

The day before leaving, Eva came downstairs to find her mother packing up their bedroom. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"We're getting out of here."

"What?"

"I need you to find your pack and put this stuff in it."

"Mom, are you serious? You're leaving?"

"We're both going, sweetie," corrected Doris. She tightly rolled up her extra clothes.

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. I like it here. This place is so much better than Oakland."

"We'll find some place else. You'll see. You can be happy somewhere else."

"No. You can go if you want but I'm staying here."

"Don't be silly, girl."

"I am. My home is here."

"You're just like your father. You can hardly wait to leave me."

"That's not true, Mother. I'm not the one leaving; you are."

"Don't you understand that I have to get out of here? This isn't the place for me."

"You could make a bigger effort."

"I don't want to outstay my welcome."

"No, I think you'd always be welcome here."

"I don't think so. They can't wait for me to be gone."

"Believe what you want. Did you even ask to see if he would take you?" Eva pulled her clothes out of Doris' hands. "I think this is bad idea."

"This is a perfect plan. I spoke to Josh and he said that he'd be happy to take us with him."

"I don't care. I'm not going to leave."

Doris's arms fell to her sides. She stepped toward the door. Looking back over her shoulder, she begged, "Please don't hate me."

Dropping her load, Eva threw herself into her mother's arms. "I could never hate you, Mom. I love you."

"Don't tell the others what I'm planning."

"I think they're going to figure out when you walk out of here with all your stuff."

"Until then, I don't want to have them preaching at me."

"That should be the least of your concerns. You don't know anything about him or where he's going."

"Obviously someplace with lots of traders and that's all I need to know."

Eva sighed. "I think you're making a big mistake but I'll keep quiet about your plans."

"I just can't live like this anymore."

"Like what? Free from fear or hunger? What is so terrible that you would even consider a life back in a nightmare like we left?"

"A life free of perversion."

"And that's more important than being around people who love and support you?" Eva started to cry. "More important than me?"

Doris pushed her daughter away. "I have to do this for me. If you don't want to come, that's your decision." She left the basement room and trudged up the stairs, every step taking her farther from the sound of her child's broken heart.

Chapter Twenty -- Just a Closer Walk With Thee

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.
Words: Unknown author. Music: "Closer Walk," traditional folk song

"Jay! Jay!" The shout shattered the mid-afternoon quiet.

The women in the garden looked at one another and then to the top of the cliff in almost fearful fascination.

"What now?" Piper muttered.

"Susan doesn't generally get too excitable. What do think she wants?"

"Do you think we should go up there?" Carol and Eva spoke at the same time.

"Hey, Jay!" Calling again, Susan appeared at the top of the stairs.

"She's not down here with us. I think she's in the dome." Martha called back. "What's up?"

"You've got to come see this." Susan waved excitedly and jumped up and down.

"What in blazes are you yelling about?"

"There's a guy up here and a whole bunch of goats." She glanced over her shoulder. "And when I say a whole bunch of goats, I mean more goats than I've ever seen in one place."

"Cool." Eva looked at her aunt. "Can we go see?"

"Sure. It's not like I'd get anymore work out of you now that goats are involved."

"Like you're not dying of curiosity," Piper added.

"That's not the point."

Susan shouted, "What should I do?"

"Keep yelling. If Jay's in the county she'll hear you." Martha led the group up the stairs. "Why don't you two go over and check the dome."

The girls raced each other past the pond to find Jay trimming herbs in the biodome. They told her about the goats between panting for air.

Jay laughed. "That's Frankie."

"Who's Frankie?"

"I'm sure I told y'all about him. He and his family live on the next mountain over." Jay wiped her hands and began to walk toward the house.

"What's that about the goats?"

"He brings his small herd over to cut our grass three times a year."

"Why?"

"There is always the danger of fire up here. That's why I've cleared the area around the house and stacked the wood so far away. The goats eat everything and that includes enough of the scrub growth and ground litter gives us a sufficient a firebreak. They also give us a good quality manure and you can't discount the milk to make cheese."

"What does he get out of it?"

"Beside that nice warm feeling from helping his neighbors?" asked Jay sarcastically. "It's all barter. We need to find out what he wants and if we can supply it."

"It would be good to have some cheese."

"Only if you're willing to milk the suckers." Jay wiped her hands on her pants. "Let's go do some business."

The other members of the household follow her down the driveway where they can watch the four-legged invasion. About twenty goats are milling about the yard, munching everything in their path.

Glancing over her shoulder, Jay yelled, "Shit. Cody, Eva, Carol. I need you three to go back down to the garden and bring up the roll of chicken wire."

"Sure but why?"

"The little buggers are eating my rosemary tree." Jay stomped over, waving her arms and scaring the goats away. She turned her glare on her housemates as they all fell over themselves laughing at her. "Fine. I hope you all pee on yourselves."

After the minor catastrophe was averted, everyone sat on the patio with the bandy legged herder. Jay encouraged the others to discuss barter possibilities with him.

"While I'm here you can have all the milk." He spat on the ground. "Of course, you've got to do the milking."

"Can you show us how?"

Frankie nodded. "Sure. For dinner," he added, slyly.

"I would've fed you anyway." Jay glanced at Susan. "Any ideas? It's your night?"

"Fish?"

"Yeah, that'll be good."

"We're going to be inside. You can show them how to milk while we get dinner ready."

Heading into the house, Jay and Susan discussed different methods of cooking. Frankie led the others over to several of the slower moving goats whose udders were hanging low. The lessons were smelly and hilarious but in the end, they had two buckets of milk.

Cody and Carol carried the buckets into the kitchen. "How do you make cheese?"

"It's pretty easy," said Jay as she put a cooking pot on the stove and then bent down to stir the embers to life. Walking over to the kitchen door she pulled out a couple of pieces of firewood off the stack and slid them into the firebox. She opened up the baffles, so there was a lot of air movement to help the fire build.

"Pour the milk into the pot," she directed. "We're going to heat the milk until it almost boils. This pasteurization will make sure that the finished cheese won't kill us." Handing over a wooden spoon, she told Carol to stir. "Keep stirring. Once it comes close to bubbles, we need to take it off the fire."

"Cody, there's a bottle of vinegar in the pantry. Please get it."

He walked in and then leaned back out the door. "White or apple cider?"

"The white is fine."

"What do you need that for?"

"We need to curdle the milk. The chemical reaction will cause the milk to separate into curds and whey."

"Like the rhyme?"

"Unlike Little Miss Moppet, we don't eat the whey. We'll pour it into a strainer to drain it really well. Then we'll have to squeeze it to make sure all the liquid is gone."

"Then we can eat it?"

"Well, it needs to sit for a few days to age but then, yes, it's cheese."

"What do you do with the liquid?"

"I pour the whey over the dog's food. It's high in protein and good for them."

"I think the goats are cute," Eva announced. "Can we keep a couple?"

"It's not that easy." Jay stirred the mixture. "Right now, Frankie comes when we need him. If we had the goats, he'd be out of job. We'd also have to maintain them-they can forage but we'd have to keep them away from all the herbs and plants we want to eat."

Susan leaned against the counter. "I think we should get some kind of domesticated animal."

"As long as I don't have to take care of them. I hate milking anything."

"Don't worry, Jay. We'll do the hard stuff."

"So, what are our choices?" asked Piper.

"Chickens, pigs, goats…" Martha ticked them off on her fingers. "Any suggestions?"

"Didn't we discuss this before?" She sighed. "You should probably start easy with chickens and work your way up the food chain. You've got to remember that what ever we raise, we have to feed, too."

Jay turned the stirring over to Cody. "Consider what kind of roost or living arrangement you want to set up and we can bring down a couple of more trees. We could build what we needed after winter and then go down to the city at the next Trade festival and see what we can find."

"Cool," the three teenagers enthused.

"Yeah, you say that now," she grumbled.

"Jay, don't be such a stick in the mud." Susan said as she began to set up the kitchen for fixing dinner. "We already agreed that we'd take care of the extra work. Now, I need someone to go and get me some lemons."

Eva and Carol got the task and they left Cody to watch over the pot of curdling milk. He was looking rather queasy from the smell by the time the mixture was ready for cooling.

The group gathered for dinner on the patio. Piper and Martha had made a long table and two benches from one of the trees they had brought down. Now, there was room for everyone and all the food around the table.

The cedar plank with the fish took the center place. There was a large bowl of rice and steamed carrots. For a change of pace, Jay had made cornbread. Conversation flowed with the light, white wine and mint tea.

Frankie shared the stories of the other families on his route around the valley. It was good to hear that there were others who had been able to carve out a living out of the post apocalypse world.

The group also learned that there was a plan afoot to create a school for all the children in the several square miles that make up their area. While the kids were not too happy with the news, Susan was especially pleased. She wanted her remaining daughter and son to grow up with some semblance of normalcy.

"I think it's a great idea. You'll be able to interact with people your own age."

"We're doing fine. The three of us are plenty."

"But you need more than what we can give you." Susan looked meaningfully at Martha. When her partner did not respond, she kicked her."

Grimacing, Martha agreed. "There is also stuff you need to learn that we can't teach you."

"Like what?" Cody challenged. "I bet you guys know everything."

"Flattering but no." Piper laid her hands flat on the table. "If we are to rebuild the world, we can't afford to lose any knowledge. There are many subjects I'm not familiar with. Biology, genetics, physics. Frankly, most of the sciences are beyond me. So many revolutionary discoveries have happened to increase our knowledge of the world we live within. To lose that knowledge would be a greatest loss the planet could endure."

Susan squeezed Piper's hand. "I have to agree. I reiterate that we should each write down what we can offer." She looked at Frankie. "Would you be willing to take the list with you and give it to those organizing the school?"

"Not a problem. I'm glad to see that you are taking an interest outside your clan." He pointed at Jay. "I know you and Harmony did a lot for the others. I'm pleased that those you've vouched for are like you."

"God forbid they be too much like me."

"Yes," he laughed. "That would be a problem only a god could solve." He pushed back his plate. "That was a delicious meal. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Susan answered.

Martha asked, "What are you doing next?"

"Well, I'm going to finish this mountain. I'll be seeing your neighbors next and should be ready to head back home very soon."

"Where do you live," Eva asked.

"Just across the valley. From your mountain top, you can sometimes see the evening campfires." He looked around at the cohesive unit and grimaced ruefully. "Seeing all your smiling faces lets me know that it is past time for me to see my wife again."

"Why doesn't she travel with you?"

"Because she and the rest of my clan work have to get ready for winter." He waved his hand around the grounds. "Firewood to be cut, food to set up for winter, everything that you've been doing."

"But aren't you lonely?"

"Not with my goats."

Jay laughed. "That's way more information that I wanted to know about you."

"Get you mind out of the garden. Those wee beasties are my friends."

"Friends?"

"Yeah. They've got personalities."

"But they can't be good conversationalists."

"Well, maybe not. However, they lack the capacity to lie and on that note alone I'd rather have them then most of the folks I've ever met."

Piper raised her glass. "Hear, hear."

"Present company excluded, of course."

Jay inclined her head in acknowledgement. "I'm sure that we take no offense. Now, did you want to clean up before heading to bed?"

Piper nodded enthusiastically. She knew that she would be sharing the living room that evening.

Laughing, Frankie agreed. "I'd be a fool not to take advantage of the hot water I know you have."

That night, he unrolled his sleeping bag in the living room to sleep inside for the first time in a week. He usually preferred to sleep outside with his goats. He trusted Jay's dogs enough to watch over the small herd.

His sleep left him in a good mood. Jay noticed and led the negotiation for one of the elder goats that was too old to make the trek back across the valley or through another winter. Parting with several quarts of honey, some dried fish and some of the nails that Josh had given them, they received in return a change to their diet.

He packed everything carefully in his cart and harnessed two of the goats to pull. He rang his bell to signal the herd that it was time to move along. "You need to tie that one up or Sammy will find a way to follow." He dashed a tear from his eye. He hated when it was time to part with any member of his herd but the barter was too good to pass up.

Cody tied their new goat to one of the trees. The old male bleated plaintive for several hours after all of his fellows left him behind. They endured two days of this before Piper announced that it was time to silence it forever.

The teenagers and Susan were in tears at the thought of butchering the animal.

"I told you all not to make a pet of it."

"But he's so cute." Carol batted her eyes at her stepmother. "Please, can't we keep him?"

"No. We got him for food and food it what he'll be." Piper was adamant.

Jay glanced at Martha. "Look, raised voices and tempers aren't going to solve anything. It's past time we went foraging for mushrooms. How about we make a trek up the mountain today and things might look better afterwards." She winked at Piper.

Swiping a finger across her nose, Piper agreed. "Why don't you all go? I've got some clothes to repair and I could use the break."

"If you're sure you'll be fine here alone?" Martha smiled and grabbed up a couple of wicker baskets. "That's settled then. Shall we take off?"

"Don't we need to pack a snack or anything?" asked Susan.

"We just need a distraction. We won't be out that long." Saying this, Jay and Martha led the small group up the path to the best fungus foraging area.

The distraction was not the solution that she had anticipated. The returning fungus hunters all screamed when they returned to see the corpse hanging from a tree. Stripped of its hide, it hung in an inverted Y from its hind legs.

Piper raised her arms in confusion in the face of the hysteria. "What? What did I do wrong?"

No one would speak to her as they walked past her into the house.

Martha clapped her sympathetically on the shoulder. "Sorry, buddy."

"You knew this was going to happen?"

"I was afraid that whoever did the deed would be in the dog house. I'm sorry I was right but I'm not sorry that it's not me getting the silent treatment."

"Great." Piper crossed her arms. "So, what do I do now?"

"Nothing. Just wait it out."

Jay agreed. "Yeah. They'll grow of it eventually."

"This is perfect. I'm destined to be the group pariah."

"Probably only until we roast that baby and serve him. Satisfied stomachs will go a long way toward forgiveness." Martha grinned at Jay and walked into the house with her, leaving Piper to sulk alone in the yard with her kill.

Chapter Twenty One - Follow On

Down in the valley with my Savior I would go,
Where the storms are sweeping and the dark waters flow;
With His hand to lead me I will never, never fear,
Danger cannot fright me if my Lord is near.

Words: William O. Cushing, 1878. Music: Robert Lowry, 1880

Almost two weeks from the day he left, Josh returned. Eva kept looking down the driveway to see if her mother had changed her mind and returned. When he gave her a small box, she burst into tears.

The rest of the group gathered around the cartload of supplies and helped to unload. Near the bottom, was a large envelope for Jay. While the rest of the household acted like children on Christmas morning, Jay walked away to open her mail in private.

She turned the brown paper wrapped package with her name and Trinity Mountain written on it over in her hands. Almost reluctantly, she opened it to find a notebook and two letters. She recognized the handwriting immediately. With her heart in her mouth, she walked to the small pond's dock and started to read. Just seeing the handwriting, made her feel faint. Sitting in a patch of sunlight, she read what Harmony had written:

Sweetheart,
You won't believe it but I made it. The trip was even worse than we'd feared. It took me forever to get down here-the Bay Area is bad but the whole area from San Jose to Santa Barbara is a wasteland. They've never recovered from the fires. I had a bit of trouble when I passed through Bakersfield but it turned out for the best-some guys who came to my aid told me about a whole bunch of UCLA folk that have set up a campus in Ventura. They've basically taken over the city and it's the first place I've been that has any real community feeling. It is a brave new world-sort of a mix of Plato's Republic and Walden 2. Take heart, my darling, the commune is alive and well in southern Cali. When I get back, I'd like to discuss starting our own.

I've been here a month and finally found friends that knew Tim. Last they knew he was heading south to San Diego to try to cross over to Mexico. Rumors are rife down here that Mexico is reopening the border for Californians. I'm going to follow this trail. I know I've been gone a while now but I'm so close. I can't stop now.

I see you in my dreams and can't wait until I can hold you again in my arms.
Your loving wife,
Harmony

Jay finished reading the letter and held it to her nose. She couldn't smell anything on it and she set it down and removed the second letter from the package. Carefully folding the letter from Harmony, she turned her attention to the other and read:

Jay,
You don't know me and I don't know what to say. I found this letter and diary in Harmony's stuff. She left it here when she went on to find Tim. I've giving it to a friend who's heading for Canada. I hope it reaches you.

I heard from a reliable source that she never made it through Los Angeles. We told her about the gangs but this is a bad time to try and make it the long way round. With no rain since January, there isn't any water. She didn't suffer, if that's what you're thinking. She went in a convoy that was hit by the Bloods. A stinger took out the bus near Compton. There were no survivors.

She spoke of you often and of how much she missed the mountain. I'm sending you the notebook; it seems to have been written for you. I hope you don't mind but I'm leaving the rest of her stuff in case Tim ever comes back. I figure her brother should inherit something.
Mark

Her eyes burned as she finished. Gripping the notebook so tightly that her fingers ached, she tried to remember how to breathe. In a despair so deep she could hardly see, Jay stumbled back to the house.

She made her way to the spiral staircase without running into anything. Suddenly dizzy, she gripped the railing tightly with both hands and doubled over.

"You okay?"

Turning towards Piper's voice, her eyes passed unseeing over the other woman. Unable to speak, she hung on, just staring blankly.

Piper and Eva looked at her and at one another. "Any ideas?" she asked the teenager. At the full body shrug, Piper got to her feet and moved closer to Jay. "What's happening?"

Standing like a statue, Jay did not react even when Piper took a hold of her upper arm.

"What's wrong?" Piper asked. The bicep under her fingers was literally thrumming with tension. "Can you answer me? You're starting to scare us."

Jay started to shiver. She looked around, seemingly unable to recognize anything. When Piper waved a hand in front of her face, she flinched away.

"Okay, this is not good." Glancing at Eva, she asked, "Should I leave her alone or what?"

"Maybe she needs to rest?"

"I'll try." She took a hold of Jay's arm. "Why don't you lie down for a bit?" Piper asked as she pulls her toward the couches. She hardly had time to react when Jay dropped bonelessly at her feet. "Fuck me," she exclaimed.

Bending down, she was able to slide her arms under Jay's knees and neck. Piper lifted her up and carried her into the first bedroom. Laying her on the bed, Piper unbuckled her pants and unbuttoned her shirt. Attempting to pull the shirt off, she was stopped by the grip that Jay still had on the package.

She saw that the wrapping had Jay's name and the notation to deliver it to the mountain. Unable to take it away from her, she gave up and pulled a blanket over the still form. On impulse, she leaned over and touched her lips to Jay's cool forehead. Not feeling any sign of fever, she was still concerned but a little less panicked. Deciding there was nothing else for her to do, she rejoined Eva in the living room.

Eva tried to glance over her shoulder into the room. "What do you suppose happened to her?"

"I don't know. There isn't a mark on her, just a book that she didn't have before Josh came back."

Coming in noisily from their picnic, Susan and Martha were shushed by everyone. "What's wrong?"

"Jay's having a meltdown."

"What do you mean?"

"She freaked us out."

"Where is she now?"

"She's in your bedroom."

"How long has she been in there?"

"Not long ago. Did anyone see what he gave her?"

"Just a package. It looked harmless."

"Okay. We'll just see how she is when she wakes up."

"That's it? That's all you're going to do?"

"I don't know what is wrong. I don't know what else to do."

Jay was sitting up when Piper and Martha stepped inside the bedroom. She had been starring down at the notebook in her hands but looked up when Piper spoke.

"You're going to get dehydrated." At Jay's confused look, she pointed at her face. "The waterworks."

"Huh?"

"Do you even know that you're crying?"

Jay reached up and touched her cheeks. She glanced down at the wetness on her fingertips before she furiously scrubbed her face with the heels of her hands.

"Anything you want to talk about?" asked Piper. She wasn't expecting the deeply searching gaze that was turned on her. She met Jay's eyes guilelessly. "Tell me."

Instead of answering, Jay handed her two sheets of paper. After Piper took them, she started turning the notebook around in her lap.

Piper read both letters twice before handing them to Martha. When she looked up, Jay was unknowingly crying again. "Jesus, Jay. I'm so sorry."

The bowed head nodded. Jay's knuckles whitened as she gripped the book.

"What's that?"

"Her diary."

"Oh." Piper touched Jay's knee. "Have you read it?"

"I can't." Holding the book to her chest, Jay started rocking. "I just can't."

"It's okay. Don't worry about that now." Martha stepped out of the room to fetch Susan. She hoped that her partner might have a suggestion on how to deal with the emotional maelstrom that Jay was feeling.

Susan sat with Jay for a while before her presence was noticed.

Jay asked, "What happened to Cheryl?"

Startled, Susan had to take a deep breath before she could reply. "There was no running water after the bombing. Each day, a water wagon would come by the neighborhood. We never knew when they would come. That day, Cheryl was alone in the house and she went down to get the water. On the way back up, she was mugged by some lazy bastards who wanted what she had."

"She didn't give it to them?"

"I don't know whether she fought or they were just trigger happy." Susan sighed. "We found her body in some weeds by the side of the road."

"How did you go on? Afterward, I mean."

"You just do. Other people were counting on me. I don't think I'll ever be over it."

"You don't talk about it."

"No, even after all this time, it's still too hard."

"Harmony was gone too long. I guess I sort of knew something had happened."

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Is there anything I can do?"

"I want to be alone for a while. Is that all right?"

"It's fine. I'll go and tell the others." Susan stood and headed for the door. Once there, she looked back over her shoulder. "You know I'm here for you, right?"

"Yeah. I know."

"Good." Susan went into the dining room and sat down with Martha and Piper. "We need to give her plenty of space. She needs to come to terms with this in her own time."

"That doesn't sound very helpful."

"Piper, your being snide isn't helpful either." Susan raked her fingers through her hair. "Look, we all had a sneaking suspicion that this news was coming. Jay's not naive. I know that she at least considered the thought a time or two. If we give her the room to grieve, she'll realize that she'd already moved to the acceptance stage long ago."

Martha sighed. "That makes sense."

"I just feel so helpless." Piper cracked her knuckles.

"Well, if you need something to do, we've got to find places to put all the stuff Josh brought back. Without Jay's guidance, we'll have to figure it out on our own."

"All right. I'll work with you."

"Good." Susan impulsively hugged Piper. "I know that it will be hard for you to watch her hurting. Just be available for when she comes around."

"I'll be here," vowed Piper. Her feelings for the grieving woman were stronger than ever. She had resigned herself to never let Jay know how she felt. Watching her in such pain made it incredibly difficult.

Susan added, "Don't pressure her. She won't react well to declarations of any kind right now."

"I know." Piper sighed gustily. "She'll either realize how I feel or not. I'll never do anything to force into anything."

"I didn't think you would. Piper, you're a fabulous woman. I hope that someday Jay can see what's in front of her face."

"Until then, I'm just happy being her friend." As Piper said the words, she took an oath to herself to be the best friend possible.

"Great. Now, where do you think we should put the dried fruit?"

The three women made their way to the basement, never knowing that Jay had been standing right beside the door and had heard every word.

Chapter Twenty-Two - Battle Hymn of the Republic

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat;
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet;
Words: Julia W. Howe, 1861, Music: "John Brown's Body," 19th Century

"How do you think Eva is handling this?" Piper asked. She was walking with Jay around the mountain path.

Jay shrugged. "I haven't asked." She pulled at the hair on either side of her head. "If you hadn't noticed, my head's been up my ass for the past couple of weeks."

"With very good reason."

"I should have made more of an effort."

"To play nice with that witch? Doris never gave any of us a chance." Piper shook her head ruefully. "I've never made a pretense of caring for Martha's sister, even in the good old days."

"That why you kissed her?"

"God damn. If only I could answer that question."

"Try."

"I don't know what possessed me."

"No," Jay responded immediately. "That's way too easy. Put a little thought into your response next time."

Piper blew a raspberry. "It's true that she infuriated me from almost the first day we met. I really can't begin to explain what possessed me. Maybe it was the challenge to my dykehood."

"Challenge? She was a 'phobe."

"I know. I guess I figured that she shouldn't knock it until she tried it."

"Getting laid is not the answer for everything."

"Maybe. It always worked for me in the past."

"The times, they are a'changing."

"I wish that there was some deep, dark reason behind my actions." Piper kicked at a loose stone. "I think back on that afternoon with almost horrified fascination."

"Wasn't it enough to stop you?"

"No and I'm not sure if that was part of it. I mean, she was married, right? They had a kid, so some sort of intimacy must have taking place at some point. I don't know, maybe I wanted to see if there were any hidden layers that we just hadn't seen yet."

"Still waters run deep but stagnant ponds just stink."

Piper grinned at her. "You're biased."

"I freely admit that I don't like her."

The two women walked in comfortable silence for a while. Finally, Jay clears her throat. "So, was she a good kisser?"

Piper looked over at her in astonishment. "Why would you ask that?"

"No reason."

"Now it's your turn to have to think a little harder on your answer."

They walked for about a mile before Jay spoke. Piper had almost forgotten the topic when the dark woman cleared her throat.

"Sometimes, mainly at night I've thought about kissing someone. As the time passes, I find it harder and harder to accurately remember exactly what Harmony looked like." She sighed. "It's been so long."

Piper watched her feet walking down the road. "She wasn't good." Laughing bitterly, she said, "While some of that might have been from surprise, I think she was pretty much a cold fish."

"That's a sad epitaph."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Jay glanced over at her. "Have you ever thought about kissing me?"

Piper walked silently, debating with herself. Finally, gusting out a breath, she nodded. "Yeah. I've thought about it."

"And?"

Turning toward the smaller woman, Piper took her by the upper arms and proceeded to kiss her senseless.

"What are you doing to me?" Jay eventually gasped.

"If you have to ask, I must not be doing it right."

The two women leaned against one another. They relished the contact as they felt the frantic beat of their hearts slow down to more normal rhythm,

When she can trust her voice again, Jay whispered, "I don't think that I'm ready for this." Jay rested her forehead on Piper's shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's my own fault."

"What is?"

"I wanted to see what kissing you would be like."

"And?" Piper asked.

"You taste good." Reaching up, Jay drew her finger along Piper's jaw. "Doris was an idiot."

"Thanks, I think."

"I'll be more plain. You're a good kisser."

"I'm glad all that practice has finally paid off."

"Brat." Jay swatted her shoulder. "You don't take compliments well."

Piper lowered her head and lightly kissed the slightly swollen lips. "I haven't had much practice."

"I find that hard to believe."

With her tongue and lips, Piper encouraged Jay to open up to her. When she broke the kiss, they were both panting. "Believe it."

Jay pulled back. "What are we talking about? How many women have you been involved with?"

"One."

"Really?"

"Is that okay?"

"Piper, that's perfectly fine."

"Then, what's wrong?"

"I'm just surprised. You're such an attractive and desirable woman that I would have thought that you would have had legions throwing themselves at you."

Piper blushed and looked down. "I couldn't."

"Tell me."

"I, uh, wanted Grande Passiòn."

"Really?"

"I was looking for love. I wanted to find the love of my life."

"How romantic."

"I mean, I had my work and my friends. It's not like I knew I was lonely or anything."

"No. You don't strike me as the sort to pine away for what you don't have."

"I knew it was out there. I just had to be open for the opportunity."

"So, did you give up?"

"What do you mean?"

Jay tugged on her ear. "You think you've found that with me?"

"Not to pressure you or anything but I've been drawn to you since you arrogantly turned your back to us when we drew on you."

"I didn't really have a choice there. My bow was no match for your shotguns."

"But, that's the point." Piper tugged Jay over to a fallen log and pulled her down beside her. "Even when you face impossible odds, you've got a presence. We were close to panicking and killing you out of hand. You walked over to the table like you were bullet proof and we stopped and listened to you."

"You didn't want to kill me."

"But we were scared and anything could have happened." She squeezed the hands she clutched in her own. "You're like a breath of fresh air. Your very being brings order to chaos."

"You'll turn my head with that talk."

"I can only hope."

Jay shook her head. "I meant what I said before. I don't think I'm ready. Losing Harmony is a fresh wound."

"I wouldn't want you to be less than the person who she loved and who loved her back."

"Thank you." Jay jumped up started walking again. After a few steps, she reached out and clutched Piper's hand tightly in her own. Without a word, she continued to walk.

After a while, Jay cleared her throat and asked, "Will you wait for me?"

"Forever. My life makes sense with you in it."

The two women walked companionly down the road. Piper could not help the smile on her face. She glanced up to see the position of the sun and asked, "Are we heading anywhere in particular?"

"Yeah. There's just something I need to do. Well, not really need. I want to do it and I don't think you will mind doing it either. I mean, I …"

"Take a breath, Jay." Piper looked curiously at the other woman. "I've never seen you go into babble mode before."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It's kind of cute."

Jay blushed. She began walking faster, as if she could outrun the rush of blood to her face.

"So, where are we going?"

"Over this hill. It used to be the site of a meditation center." Jay led her around the skeletal remains of the building.

"Creepy," whispered Piper as she looked up at the twin chimneys standing by themselves on either side of the burned out building. "Tell me more about this place," she demanded.

"I don't really know that much about it. I only came out here a couple of times." Jay led the way across the overgrown lawn and down a small rise. She smiled when she saw the design of paving stones nestling in the hollow.

"What is that?"

"It's a labyrinth."

"That doesn't really mean anything to me."

"A labyrinth is an ancient way to find peace."

"It looks like a maze."

"They share some similarities. A maze has twists and turns and is a puzzle to be figured out. You must search to find the center and then to escape again. A labyrinth has only one path. The way in is the way out."

"So, why are we here?"

"I want to walk it."

"And the point would be?"

"To get some closure."

"Why?"

"As you walk, let your mind drift on all the things that are affecting you. When you reach the center, give yourself permission to be free of those worries. As you retrace your steps, let go."

"Very hippy, dippy."

"True but I won't deny that walking these has helped me out of some pretty daunting problems. It's how I broke out of the downward spiral when my folks died." Jay took a deep breath and, with her eyes on the ground began to follow the turns of the trail. When she reached the center area, she opened her arms wide and leaned back. She smiled when Piper joined her.

"Am I doing this right?"

"There are no wrong turns." The smile came easier to her face. Jay took another series of deep breaths and made her way back out of the labyrinth. She waited for Piper to join her before heading back in the direction of the house.

"That's it?"

"You want angels and trumpets, you'll have to go somewhere else."

"No, it just doesn't seem like much."

Jay could feel that the knots of tension in her neck were already releasing their grip. "It was enough for me." She rotated her shoulders. "I realized several things when I walked. For a long time, I've been really angry at Harmony for leaving me. I didn't want her to go." Jay kicked at a pinecone.

"That's entirely normal."

Whispering, Jay confessed. "I almost felt that she got what she deserved."

"I can understand that. Going to LA was a dangerously stupid thing to do." Piper raised her hands. "I don't know her but I don't think she was thinking rationally when she left."

"We both knew that she was risking everything."

"It's amazing that she ran into somebody that knew of her brother."

"You're telling me. It's a small world, sometimes."

"Made smaller by the fanatics that tried to bring on the second coming."

"And those that prey on the survivors." Shrugging, Jay dismissed all them. "I accept that Harmony is gone. She left me long before she died. I've just stayed in limbo for so long because I didn't want to be alone."

"You're not alone anymore."

"No, I'm not. I've got a house full."

"I hope that one day, you can find a place for me in your heart." When Jay would have spoken, she shook her head. "You don't have to decide anything now. I'm not going to be going anywhere, anytime soon."

"What if I'm never ready?"

"We'll still be family. That won't change."

"And friends?"

"Of course." Piper walked a few steps. "You know what they say?"

"What?"

"Love is just friendship set on fire."

The smile that Jay bestowed on her rivaled the sun. Joining hands, the two friends walked back toward home, helping each other over the rough patches on the road.

The End