Disclaimer: This is classified as a hurt/comfort story. If you are sensitive to this type of material you may wish to read something other than this story.
Disclaimer: There is the use of what many consider profanity in this story
If you are sensitive to this type of thing or are under age 18 and or find this type of language offensive you may wish pass on this story.
Moon7u © copyright 2000
She's never late! Alex glanced anxiously at the clock, an old cherry wood grandmother. It was already 4:45 PM and Miranda should have been there thirty minutes ago. She stopped her frantic pacing, and came to a stand still at the window overlooking the wooded backyard. There was a small stream that ran the length of the yard, disappearing out of view into the dense wood. "She's changed her mind," she whispered to herself. "She's not coming." Her heart constricted painfully in her chest. 'You knew this would happen. ' She admonished herself. 'You've been expecting it sooner or later, so just get over it. ' But still the ache in her chest grew to almost unbearable. She'd known Miranda did not love her but she had hoped that the woman would come to love her, if not as much as Alex loved Miranda maybe just a little.
'I've been fooling myself, telling myself that my loving her was enough. That just being with her no matter how infrequent was satisfying.' But as time passed and their affair grew, Alex found herself feeling a mixture of joy and pain in her boss's presence and a near unbearable hollowness when they were apart. It hurt to hold her and it hurt even more when she couldn't hold her. After sex they would snuggle and Miranda's sighs of contentment would fill Alex's heart with sorrow. For those sighs were always followed by the dreaded words "I have to go, now." And she would hold the tears back until later when her boss had gone home to the bed of her husband. "Gods I love her, so much."
'How will I face her on Monday? How can I look at her again without my heart crumbling into a thousand tiny pieces at her feet? I can't go back there.' She was leaning against the left side of the window frame for support. Her arms wrapped around her trying to give herself comfort. She was oblivious to the tears that fell down her cheek. She was oblivious to everything but the deep misery that had gathered around her heart.
Miranda let herself in with the key Alex had given her. She was late. Very late. She glanced up at the clock and then her eyes sought out the distraught form of her lover. She knew what Alex must have thought. Miranda was as neurotic about punctuality as she was about tidiness. She must have given up on me coming. The soft melancholic crooning of Holly Cole filled the room, as the woman sang about pain and longing. Miranda stood there quietly, studying her lovers back a moment longer before making her way over to her. She hadn't gotten very far when Alex sensed her there. She tensed slightly, her back becoming ridged. Miranda thrilled to thought Alex could simply feel her presence.
"I was afraid." Alex whispered. She couldn't bring herself to turn around yet. Doubt still weighed heavily on her heart. "I love you so much."
"I know."
"I thought you didn't want me anymore." Miranda continued across the room, coming to stop directly behind Alex who had yet to turn around.
"You thought wrong." She waited patiently, arms at her side, as the younger woman turned to face her. "I will always want you." She raised her right hand letting the back of it caress a tear soaked cheek. "I will always need you." she lowered her head and her lips descended upon the soft tremulous mouth of her assistant. She tasted the saltiness of tears and drew her tongue across soft lips until they parted, letting her in. The younger woman whimpered at the contact and pressed her body against her boss, desperate to believe. Miranda pressed Alex back against the window pane. She knew Alex wanted her arms around her but instead Miranda braced her hands on the left and right side of the window frame, and continued pressing her body against Alex, moving sensuously against the shorter woman. Miranda was waiting, waiting.
"Please." Alex groaned. "Please hold me."
"Gods." Miranda growled against her lips. She crushed the woman to her in a fierce embrace. She was unable to explain exactly why that word -please, was such a powerful aphrodisiac for her. Maybe it was the need for control. That first time they were together in Miranda's office, It had been Miranda that has surrendered herself completely to Alex's lovemaking. It had surprised her how knowledgeable her assistant had been considering the girl had never been with a woman before. And with every stroke, every caress, Alex had increased the fire that she had created in her boss. Miranda had felt a sense of power once she had realized that Alex was infused by the intensity of their lovemaking. The girl's eyes had widened with hunger as she had feasted on the flesh, her boss had surrendered to her and Alex's own moans of pleasure had added fuel to the fire in Miranda's veins.
When she had slipped her fingers deep inside of Miranda's sex her eyes had glazed over and she had looked into the older woman's eyes with amazement. "You feel so good, Miranda." Miranda had nearly orgasmed with just those softly spoken words and then her assistant had so innocently whispered, "Please, let me taste you," Unconsciously given over control to her boss. It was a plea that had empowered Miranda. And had healed her in more ways than one. This beautiful young woman was begging to be allowed to pleasure her. And she had felt the tattered remnants of her heart being pieced back together.
Her life had been spiraling out of control for two years and in an instant she had felt though the reigns were securely in her hands again. She had looked into the longing verdant eyes of her assistant, the woman who had hours earlier marched into her office for a confrontation. She had been cocky, arrogant, and forceful. Miranda had been grateful for that, and had been just as grateful for that simple plea. Miranda's voice had been a heated growl when she softly commanded. "Do it." She shivered slightly at the memory.
Alex felt security in that embrace and she groaned as Miranda's kiss became more forceful. The woman nibbled on her lips, sucked greedily on her tongue as if she were about to devour Alex whole. "I've missed you." Miranda panted breaking the kiss for much needed air. "I'm sorry I'm late," she whispered in her lover's ears. "Rick came home." She felt the young woman tense. "Nothing happened." she kissed the girl's cheek softly determined now to hide nothing from her lover. "We kissed." she spoke honestly.
Alex moved out of her arms. The pain in her chest was indescribable. She took deep breath and exhaled. " Do you still want him?" she asked calmly. "Did you feel anything?"
"Yes, I was aroused." Miranda answered softly. "I still care for him, Alex." Alex breathed in sharply. "I married him because I loved him. And because we were good in bed together."
"Don't." Alex closed her eyes. "Don't tell me anymore." Alex closed her eyes. She didn't want to hear what would come next. She couldn't bear the idea of sharing Miranda sexually with her husband. She just . . .
"But it's you I want, Alex." Miranda sighed. "He was kissing me and I was wishing it was you." She breathed deeply her voice shook. "I just wanted you." Alex's eyes snapped open and she stared at the older woman. "Yes, I still care about him. But I'm in love with you."
"You love me?"
"Gods, Yes Alex. I love you!" Alex was back in her arms in less than a heartbeat.
"I didn't think you . . ."
"I know." Miranda cut her off. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was confused and more than a little scared at what my loving you would mean." she shivered slightly. "And it means, I don't ever want to be without you. I want to wake up in the middle of the night and watch you while you sleep. It means I don't want to wake up in the morning without you beside me in bed. It means I want to look across the breakfast table or the dinner table and have you there, looking back at me. I can't stand the thought of losing you. I want to cuddle with you and watch movies together. I want to be with you. Always, forever." She looked over Alex's shoulder spoke again, "I was there in that house this afternoon, and realized that, that's all it had become to me: a house. Only when I'm with you do I feel I've come home," Her arms tightened around the woman's waist. "Can you handle that?" she asked softly. "It won't be easy there will be talk at work and my daughters won't accept this easily . . ."
"Can you handle it?" Alex looked up into soft blue eyes. "Never mind work, but your daughters 'may' never accept this. You're relationship with them is strained as it is, this could very well. . ."
"I know that." Miranda lowered her head for a kiss. "I love you. I want you." She allowed herself the luxury of nuzzling her cheek in the woman's hair, breathing in the scent of Lavender and Vanilla shampoo. "I don't want a part-time relationship with you, Alex. I feel empty, when you're not with me. I feel as though my life is on hold until I can have you in my arms again. I'm no longer willing to live like that." She kissed her again than peered down into green eyes. "Will you have me?"
"Yes."
Miranda closed her eyes, for a brief moment then opened them once again. She looked into her lover's face; this was home. Home.
The End?
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