Subtext: This story is about two women who are deeply in love with each other. I is more graphic than I usually write but still not that graphic. If this isn't your cup of tea, then don't drink.

I wrote this story as a time filler, while I am continuing to work on Young At Heart.

Any comments please send to Muzza

ANY FLAMES WILL NOT BE READ!

Thanks

Chapter 1

August 1990

It was a nice warm day in Wales. Everything seemed right wit the world for a change. I sat thinking for a while about my upcoming wedding. It was going to be different, I knew that much and I wasn't sure whether I was nervous or not. Dean and I had been friends for years, we grew up together and we had agreed to get married to keep our parents happy. We were both gay, we had known that for a long time and we both knew that our parents would find it hard to accept, so when they started pressuring us into doing the right thing we agreed to marry each other, but only in name. This meant that I could still be with a woman and he could still be with a man. We would live together and go places together, like family outings but when we were at home we were free to be who we were. It was a wonderful arrangement I knew this from the start but I also knew it was going to be hard. That was why I had gone away. To get away from everything, just to clear my mind. I had come to this site many times as a child and I knew it was perfect for what I wanted. St. Mary Wells Bay was peaceful, quiet and the scenery was beautiful. All the hills, the beach, the trees, it was your typical Welsh countryside.

When I went away that final time before my marriage to Dean, I never expected to fall in love. It was the last thing on my mind. I was 18 years old and I knew I was ready for that but I still hadn't planned it.

I was walking around the camp saying hello to the permanent residents that I had known nearly all my life, when my eyes fell upon a girl and a couple of other kids. Well I called the kids but they were teenagers. My eyes were fixed on the young strawberry blonde, she was gorgeous. 'Back off.' I told myself, knowing that I would be in serious trouble if I even attempted to make a pass at someone that young. But I couldn't help myself. I had never believed in love at first sight, until that very moment. I looked at her and our eyes met. They were the most gorgeous green eyes I had ever seen and I felt myself falling into them. She smiled a smile that lit her whole face and despite myself, I felt myself smiling back.

I started to panic when she started to make her way over to me. I was like a lion backed into a cage unable to move. I wanted to just turn and walk away but I couldn't. I was hooked and now all she had to do was reel me in.

"Hi." She said, when she reached.

"Hi" I had replied, feeling my heart rate pick up. I knew this wasn't good. 'She's too young' I kept telling myself, but did I listen? Did I hell.

"My name's Laura" She smiled, holing out her hand.

'Please don't smile at me like that.' I mentally pleaded, extending my hand to take hers "Sarah."

Her hand felt like fire in mine. You know when you're freezing cold and you find yourself at a fire and you want to stay near it to keep warm. Well this is how I felt. Reluctantly though I let go, not wanting her to get suspicious.

Me and Laura became quick friends after that. We spent a lot of time together, getting to know each other, against my better judgement. I found out that she was fifteen years old, but I couldn't stop myself from falling if I wanted too. It was already to late. I kept telling myself that you can't help who you fall in love with. Even if she was only fifteen and she felt the same way I did, there was not going to be anything sexual between us. I would stop that. I didn't fancy going to jail.

The time we spent together was wonderful and when we had only one week left I had the surprise of my life when she told me she was crazy about me. She asked me how I felt about her and I couldn't lie, I told her the truth. The last couple of days of the holiday we spent as much time as possible together, enjoying each other's company and also trying to prepare ourselves for the heartbreak we knew was coming. The last day we talked a lot and we had a big argument over what was going to happen to us.

I wanted to keep in touch because I couldn't see my life being complete without her. She said that she couldn't risk her parents finding out about them because they were completely against gays. I remember it all so clearly.

"Laura, I need you as part of my life. Can't you understand that?" I asked, as we walked quietly along the beach.

"I know. I'm sorry Sarah, I just can't risk my parents finding out. Do you know what it's like to live in a family where you know you won't be accepted by your own parents and siblings because of who you are." Laura had asked.

I just laughed. "Let me tell you something about living in a family where you are not accepted, Laura" I told her. "I have to marry my best friend in two weeks time, just so my parents and his parents won't find out we are gay. I don't love him at least not like that and he doesn't love my like that. That is what it is like to not be accepted." I was furious, she was only thinking off herself. I know that could be said about me, but I truly believed that us being together was better for the two of us.

Laura looked like she didn't know what to say. I hadn't told her about that part which was my mistake but I didn't want it to ruin our relationship.

"I love you Sarah, I really do but that's the best I can do. I'm sorry" with that she was gone. Watching her walk away was like having someone rip my heart out.

I wrote to Laura a couple of times when I go back but every time I had my letters returned. In the end I gave up on her and I gave up on love. How could I love anyone else after she treated me like that? She stole my heart and never gave it back.

Chapter 2

August 1999.

As I drove towards the chalet where we were staying I noticed the way the dark clouds seemed to follow us. My son Seth and I were going to spend some time away from everything. He was on Summer break after a hard year in school, and he wanted to get away as well. I was just glad to be able to have the same week off as him, usually I had to take him out of school, when we wanted to go on holiday.

I turned my head and saw that Seth was still sleeping. He was nearly 9 years old and looked adorable. He looked so much like his father in his sleep. When me and Dean got married we hadn't planned on having kids, we never even planned on having sex together but when Dean was diagnosed with Leukaemia we both agreed to try and get pregnant, so we would have something to remember our friendship by and we could gift both of our parents with the one thing they wanted, a grandchild.

We timed it perfectly the second time and Seth was the result of that. Our parents were ecstatic and when Dean died two years later we were all glad to have something to remember him by.

Seth was worshipped by both sets of grandparents, both of whom now knew of mine and Dean's sexuality. Dean had insisted on telling them before he died.

Seth stirred beside me and opened his sky blue eyes, the only thing he had inherited from me. "Hey Mom," He smiled, looking around him. "Are we nearly there yet?"

I smiled at that. Seth hated travelling long distances "Yeah only about 10 minutes to go." with that I pulled of the motorway.

As I pulled into the holiday camp ten minutes later, I was hit with memories off the last time I ever came here. That was 10 years ago.

The camp was nice and quiet, with only the small camp club to go to for a drink in the night. It was ideal if you wanted to go and get away from the hassle of the big city.

We pulled into the small car park and I went to get our cars. I was surprised when a couple of the old faces recognised me. It had been a long time since I had been here.

Once we had the keys me and Seth made our way over to the chalet we were staying in. We got unpacked and settled in to have a nice quiet couple of weeks on holiday.

Chapter 3

The first couple of days went pretty quick really. Seth and I were messing around and enjoying ourselves and I felt like a kid again. That all changed when I was walking over to the swimming pool with Seth and spotted a familiar figure walking towards the pool as well.

My heart nearly stopped when I saw Laura. She hadn't grown much, but she was more shapely than I remembered her being and she had cut her hair. It was now short and it made her look older and more experienced. She was still absolutely gorgeous. Definitely a sight for sore eyes.

I looked away quickly and caught up with Seth, who was excited about going swimming. He had been waiting for this since we got here.

When we got into the pool, Seth jumped straight in and started splashing me until I got in as well. The water was clean and warm. The smell of chlorine was wonderful, it was a smell I had always liked.

Not long after we got in Laura and a group of friends walked in. I saw her skim over everyone in the pool, seeing if she knew anyone. I could tell by her gasp, that she was surprised to see me. I looked her in the eye for a couple of seconds before turning back to play with my son.

Soon afterwards Seth got fed up and we both got out of the pool. I quickly dried him off and then I dried myself and we made for the door. I was relieved that I hadn't had a chance to talk to Laura, although I really wanted to. As we were walking out I heard her call my name from behind me. I just straightened my back and ignored her.

She had hurt me so bad the last time, that I didn't think I could face her without feeling that pain again. So I did the only thing I understood, work. Being a musician came in handy at times like this. Whenever I needed something to do, some way of getting a handle on my emotions I wrote songs. This time was no different. I grabbed my guitar, which I had brought with me, just in case I had a brainstorm while I was relaxing, then I started to write. I strummed the chords, closed my eyes and let the music come to me. Before I knew it I had a song in front of me.

Every time I see your face

I feel the pain again

Every time I close my eyes

I see your face again.

*

Sometimes I just don't think

I'm going to beat this thing

I need you just as much today

As I did so long ago.

*

Our love was strong enough

We should have made it last

We're standing here together

But so many miles apart.

*

My love for you is stronger

Than it ever was before.

We should have stayed together

But instead you broke my heart.

*

You let things come between us

You were afraid to live.

Now the gap between us

Can never been erased.

**

It hurt. More than it should. Reading over the lyrics again. I knew now more than ever that we should have tried to work it out. But it was all said and done now and there was nothing I could do about it.

* * * * *

Later that evening Seth and I went for a walk. I took him to the place I used to hang out when I wanted to be alone. I wanted to share this place with him. There was only one other person I had brought here and at that moment I was hoping she didn't decide to go there too.

Well I am not that lucky. When I walked around the corner, there she was, sitting looking over the sea. She must have heard us because she turned and stood up, so quickly that she nearly fell backwards. I managed to grab hold of her before she fell over the cliff.

"I was hoping you would come" She said, shyly. I think she was a little embarrassed at being there but in a way I was glad she was there. 'Now maybe we could clear the air and then I can have leave all that behind me.' I thought to myself, as I got enough courage to speak.

"It's a surprise to see you again, Laura." I said, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice, but failing. 'Why was this never easy?' I asked myself.

"I could say the same about you" She said, just as bitterly.

'What is she talking about? She returned my letters, she broke up with me' I thought to myself angrily. "Come on Seth, we'll came and see this place later" I held out my hand, which Seth eagerly took.

"No Sarah, please don't go. I would like to talk to you. Please?" She pleaded, and I didn't have the heart to turn her down. I never could.

"Fine" I said, bitterly. I was angry at myself and I was talking it out on her. I knew that wasn't fair but it was the way I was "Talk."

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry" She said and I could have died from laughter, but I managed to control myself.

"You're sorry?" I asked. "After all you put me through, all you can is you're sorry?"

I turned to walk away again, but her voice stopped me. "What do you want me to say, Sarah. I ruined both of our lives I know that now and I'm sorry. I would do anything to change that but I can't"

I turned to face her and saw only sincerity in her eyes, but that didn't take the pain away. So I tired to get back her and I know I was hurting myself, just as much. "You might of ruined your life Laura Parker, but you didn't ruin mine. I got married to Dean afterwards and this is our son" I told her, angry at myself for acting like a spoilt brat but I couldn't help myself.

"Y..y... you're son?" Laura asked in disbelief. She was hurt. I could tell by the look in her eyes.

"Yes Seth, this is Laura someone I met here a long time ago. Laura, this is my son Seth" I introduced them both, before raising an eyebrow at Laura. Would she say anymore, or would she turn and run again?

"Can we talk alone please, Sarah?" Laura asked, her eyes pleading with me to listen to her.

I looked around and saw that there was nowhere safe for Seth to play on his own by here so I turned back to her "You can walk down to the beach with us if you want. I can't leave Seth on his own here."

"Great" Laura said, grabbing her coat that she had been sitting on.

We both walked quietly down to the beach and the Seth went and had a play around on his own, while we talked.

"Well talk" I said, I had no intention of waiting around all night for her to talk.

"I did a lot of thinking after the last time we were her together." She told me, and I wondered where this was going. "The longer I was away from you, the more I wanted to be with you. I told my parents about us afterwards and they were not pleased, but they promised to try and accept it. They did. I wanted to get hold of you, but I didn't have your phone number or address. I didn't even know where you lived. I kept hoping you would write to me or ring me but you never did"

I raised my eyebrow at that "Excuse me, I phoned you everyday for two weeks after I got back and you were never in. So I wrote four letter to you and they all came back, so don't tell me I never tried. I loved you Laura. I would have done anything to get you back" I hadn't want to admit that to her, but it was out in the open now, there was nothing I could do about it.

"You tried." She asked, totally surprised. "I never got any messages or letters. I swear to you. I wanted to be with you so badly that I would have jumped off Mount Everest if I was up the top and you were down the bottom" She looked into my eyes and all I saw was hurt, confusion and most importantly honesty. "I loved you back then, Sarah and I love you now, more than ever."

"You do?" I asked, not sure whether to believe her or not.

"I swear"

There was no way I could do anything but believe her. Especially when she leaned forward and kissed me. My heart started pounding again. Just like it did every time before, when she had kissed me. I wasn't worried about Seth seeing us, because he had seen me kiss other women before. Laura took hold of my hand and placed it above her heart. "This is how much I love you" she told me.

Her heart was pounding as much as mine was. It was wonderful and for the first time in nine years I felt complete. It didn't matter about anything else now. We were together.

Chapter 4

The next couple of days zoomed by. Seth and Laura got on really well which I was pleased about. Laura told me that she wanted us to be together and she had even made plans with Seth to move closer to us.

Seth wanted her to move in with us but we weren't completely sure about that. We didn't want to try to push ourselves if we weren't ready. So we gave ourselves until we went home to see how things went.

I was so in love with her that I was having a hard time thinking straight. Which was wonderful as well. I was happy, Seth was happy and Laura was happy. What more could we ask for.

* * * * *

Laura and I decided that she should come and stay with us for a while, when we went home. We needed to be positive that this was what we wanted before we made that commitment.

We hadn't slept together or anything yet, both of us adamant that sex had nothing to do with the way we felt about each other.

I came home from work on Friday night and was surprised to find it quiet. Seth was staying with Dean's parents tonight but I knew Laura should be around some where. When I walked into the dining room I had the surprise of my life. The table was set for a romantic dinner for two and Laura was sat there shyly, dressed only in a see through teddy. I was totally speechless. I knew what I wanted to do but I didn't know whether to start it right there or wait until after dinner. If I could control myself until then, that was.

"Do you like what you see?" She asked, smiling when the only thing I could do was nod. I didn't trust myself to speak. "Well I am glad, because I was hoping to be able to share this with you tonight" She pointed to herself "This is the first night we have been on our own since we got back together and I'm getting fed up of waiting for you to make the first move. I figured today you wouldn't so I am."

I just smiled and before she had a chance to complain I picked her up and carried her up the stairs. I wanted this to be perfect. I refused to let it be any other way.

Once we were in the bedroom we slowly undressed each other, treating it as a sacred ritual. I didn't care if the light was left off. I could see and feel all that I needed. It was then I noticed the candles burning on either side of the bed. "Expecting to get lucky are ya?" I asked, as I lay the smaller woman on the bed.

"No just hoping" Laura smiled. Without saying another word we drew together, tentative and cautious, barely breathing. I loved the softness of the Laura's lips. I was amazed at how easily they began to move against and into each other. I wanted her so badly. I thought I was going to burst. I had not expected the willingness or surrender that I got from the woman I loved more than life itself.

I wanted to be gentle and slow, tender and light with my touch, like I was capturing something precious and so valuable that it couldn't be damaged, like a firefly. My fingertips touching warm, almost melting skin, like heated milk.

We moved and turned together like dancers. I moved slowly from the lips that fascinated me, lower until I tasted the salty sweetness and heat of her neck them lower again until I reached one of the gifts that had been often a breast. I heard Laura's sharp intake of breath and I sucked even harder on the now rigid nipple in my mouth, before releasing it and moving up to whisper in her ear "I love you so much."

I kissed her soundly and passionately once more before heading back down towards the treasure I knew was waiting for me. I tasted the roundness of her belly before heading down to the musky, scent of arousal.

It was like heaven. I tasted it once before diving back in for more. It was at that point I realised, that nothing could get better than this. I was so in love with the woman writhing around in orgasm underneath me, that if at the moment a hurricane came and tore the house apart, I wouldn't notice.

All that mattered was we were together and we were happy. We were home.

The End

Copyright (C) Ceri Murray 1999