~ The Monster Within Me ~
by Nemesis

Disclaimer: this is a very, very short Conqueror story based upon our favourite series
Sex: implied
Violence: implied
Author's note: this is my first try at fanfiction so please be kind especially considering English is not my native language. A small warning for those of you whom are expecting a long and epic tale (it's really not)
I love to read fanfiction including stories about the Conqueror. I must confess I have never seen Armageddon Now but in all the Conqueror stories I've read, I was amazed how forgiving and loving Gabby is towards the Conqueror, so here's another point of view.

Don't you think it's a bit strange to come here and ask me what I think of you, what I feel for you?

Do you really want to know? Are you up for the truth, or are you just seeking confirmation for what you already know?

I think you are beautiful, your body and eyes. That's why it's so cruel considering you're a monster. People say you are a beast, but they are wrong and you know why that is wrong.

I'll tell you, because a beast kills out of necessity, to live another day. Like a lion. It stalks its prey, hunts it down and closes in for the kill. Yet this animal is merciful on its prey. They bite them in the throat, making death imminent and swift.

You on the other hand kill out of pleasure. That's what makes you a monster. So tell me, how does it make you feel to kill my soul?to beat me, cut me, abuse me, violate me again and again.

Does it make you happy or sad? Don't you ever feel guilty, shameful, or remorseful? Do you feel anything at all? The pain and suffering does it please you or is it to remind you that you are still alive. Because if that's the reason you are making a mistake, for you are already dead. You lost your soul and humanity and that's why you became that monster. You are empty inside and that's why you can't feel.

No pain
No suffering
No guilt
No shame
No remorse
No sadness
No happiness

You can't feel anything at all and you are asking me what I feel for you. Think about this first: how is it possible to feel something for a monster without feelings, other than hate

What did you expect from me. What do you want? My forgiveness, my body, my soul?my love?

You've taken my body, destroyed my soul and my life and now you want me to forgive you, forget about what happened.

I can't do that

Did you really think that I could fall in love with a monster, because that's all you are to me, and always will be.

Do you know what's ironic about this entire situation? You had me captured and crucified, because you assumed I was going to kill you. But you were wrong. As it turns out now I am the one that is killing you.

Can you feel it? Your blood is flowing from your body. The end is near. Surely you can feel it. It's getting darker and colder and quieter with every passing moment. Have you ever wandered what will happen to you when you're dead? Have you? I'll tell you what happens. You'll suffer for eternity al alone in a cold, dark and quiet place. Are you afraid of the dark? You should be. When it's dark the demons from your past will come and hunt you down.

And where you are going to now, it will be dark for all eternity. Can you feel the darkness falling upon you, calling for you, waiting. The moment you close your eyes the demons will find you.

I wish you could see that look in your own eyes. But I'm sure you've seen that look before. The look of pain, terror and fear in the eyes of your victims when they realise the final moment has come. That it's really over, no more living, just death. But have you ever seen relief in those same eyes at the same moment. I bet you have. And you know why that is. They feared you more than death itself.

In a few moments you'll be gone. But a new monster will live on within me. The monster you created. Soulless. Devoid of humanity.

Why don't you just let go, just close your eyes and meet your destiny for I am going to wait for mine to claim me soon?very soon.

The End

Copyrightę Nemesis December 2003

Please send your comments and opinions to me. I'd really like to know if people are reading this.

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