~ A Simple Matter Of Trust ~
by P Wilson

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The characters in this story are the property of MCA/Universal and Ren Pics. This story is not for profit and is not intended to infringe anyone's copyright. There is very very light subtext, if this offends you, please do not read. I would also like to thank Xena Torres of the PNW Online Xena fan club for her invaluable assistance, patience and encouragement. Thanks, also, to my XWP HCNB friends who encouraged me to make this story available online.



Feel free to e-mail me at: pwilson1@neo.rr.com.

From: The Xena Scrolls

Timeline : late 3rd season early 4th - sometime after BitterSuite

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Part 3

Hope wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and lay down on the blanket, sighing contentedly. "We can go to sleep now, Mother."

Gabrielle smiled bleakly at the irony of her words. Gazing down at the small wineskin in her lap, she realized one of the great truths in life. You couldn't go back. No matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried, you could never go back and make things right. If you doubted the truth of this, you need only ask her, because she had, for the second time in her life, just destroyed her best friend and poisoned her only child. Her tears had frozen inside her. Cold, wicked shards of ice, slicing her heart as painfully as a blade. She sat; dry-eyed and motionless, patiently waiting for Hecate to deliver her from this nightmare back to the one she had tried so desperately to leave behind. She thought, suddenly, of Xan. Remembering her simple knack of so eloquently expressing her deepest emotions, her greatest frustrations in a word; Crap, Gabrielle thought to herself, which pretty much said it all.

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The trip back was pretty much the same, one moment she was present in the past, the next she was present in the future. Or, was she present in the present? It gave her a headache just thinking about it. Had time gone on without her while she was away? Apparently so, for now Zagnan and his merry mercenaries had joined her once more.

"...find her!" Zagnan shouted irritably. "Not all of you!" he yelled at the their retreating backs. "Some of you stay. Hide yourselves down here, like good little assassins. I'm surrounded by idiots." This to Nathan, who nodded in agreement.

"Is it ready?" Zagnan asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Almost." Nathan removed one of the tiny silver orbs from a bowl of liquid sitting on a table in front of them. He dropped it carefully down the metal tube. Since he was wearing gloves, Gabrielle rightfully assumed that the liquid was highly lethal. Zagnan used the narrow strip of metal to tamp it firmly down inside the tube. He looked up at Nathan who nodded once more. Taking the narrow metal strip from Zagnan, he laid the tip of it on the end of a burning log in the fire pit at his feet. Zagnan used the end of the weapon to move the little bag of black powder across the table, safely away from the flames.

"Wonderful," Zagnan said softly. "When Xena shows up, she will have quite a surprise waiting for her."

"Isn't that nice? I just love surprises."

The quiet voice surprised them all. Nathan jumped and moved slightly behind Olean, who took a step back and bumped into him. Gabrielle felt her heart fill with hope for the first time in days, Zagnan merely smiled.

"Xena. How nice of you to join us," Zagnan remarked easily. "Who are my men out chasing this time?"

"Argo. She does love a good chase," Xena wore a mean little grin.

Zagnan laughed. "And what have you brought me?" He inquired, eyeing the blanket-covered basket in her hand.

"Ah, so sorry, Zagnan," Xena settled the bundle in back of her, eyes never leaving Zagnan's face. "The invitation didn't say anything about bringing a gift."

"Come now, Xena," Zagnan urged, beginning to lose patience. "You have come to trade, let's just get on with it, shall we? Besides, I am very anxious to see this child, the one who strikes such terror in the heart of the mighty Caesar."

"Trade? I don't think so, Zagnan, you don't have anything that I want."

"Oh, but you are wrong, Xena, I have something that you want very badly. Get her," he demanded, glancing at Nathan.

Gabrielle's eyes were locked on the basket, she watched as the blankets moved slightly. Rachel's child? Surely Xena would not bring her here.

She had to do something. She tried to get up and ended up sliding backward on her hands. Her hand rolled over something hard and sharp and it tore a small gash in the tender web of skin between her thumb and index finger. In the time honored tradition of self-healing, she jammed the cut into her mouth and looked around, trying to see what had cut her. Her eyes widened a little as she spotted the blade, the knife that Olean had thrown at the rats. She grabbed it and hid it under the cloak just as Nathan reached her, grasped her arms and pulled her to her feet. Dizzy, weak from hunger and fever, she struggled to keep her balance. Nathan half walked, half-carried Gabrielle to stand beside Zagnan. Xena's face remained impassive, but her heart screamed inwardly at the sight of Gabrielle. Face pale and bruised-looking, the cloak hanging on her gaunt frame like a death shroud; she looked more dead than alive. A small muscle bunched and twitched in Xena's jaw and no one saw the black rage rising up in her except Gabrielle. Their eyes met for a moment and everything they felt, everything they needed to say, was conveyed in an instant of perfect understanding.

Zagnan took Nathan's arm, moving him slightly in front of him. Using him as cover, he turned his head slightly and whispered into the darkness. "Kill the child, as soon as Xena goes down."

As Gabrielle opened her mouth to warn Xena, Nathan twisted her arm up behind her and clamped his hand over her mouth. Xena took a step forward and Gabrielle watched in mute horror as Zagnan lifted the weapon and Olean touched the white-hot strip of metal to the small opening in the tube. The next few moments, it seemed to Xena, evolved in a dreamy, otherworldly slowing of time. Gabrielle's eyes met hers and Xena could see, could actually feel, the nearly frantic, fearful warning in them. She saw the glint of metal as Gabrielle lifted the knife from beneath the cloak and swung it back, burying it up to the hilt in Nathan's thigh. Nathan shrieked in agony, pushing Gabrielle away from him. She fell to one knee and turned, grabbing for the weapon in Zagnan's hand. There was a brilliant flash of light and a resounding pop! Gabrielle felt something pass so close to her ear it ruffled her hair on its way by. Xena sensed, rather than saw something coming toward her and moved slightly to her left. Something took a small, stinging bite from her side, hit the stone wall in back of her and ricocheted around the room like a maddened hornet. The men scattered around the area dove for cover. Zagnan stared wildly into Gabrielle's eyes for a moment before hitting her with a solid backhand that sent her crashing into the table. Drawing his sword, he moved toward her with murder in his eyes.

"Damn you, Gabrielle!" he hissed angrily.

Gabrielle reached back, found the pouch of black powder and without a second thought picked it up and threw it. Zagnan's eyes widened, mouth dropping open in utter surprise as the bag landed beside him, smack in the middle of the open pit of burning logs. He smiled dourly, giving her a small salute with the tip of his sword as he calmly awaited his fate.

"Run!" Gabrielle turned and yelled, knowing that Xena was close behind her, and started running herself. Xena spun around, grabbing the basket and dove behind a pile of crates and water kegs. The explosion was deafening; the impact hurling Gabrielle forward like a leaf in a hurricane. There were a series of sharp cracks, groans and an ominous rumble as the already unstable structure above them started to shift and collapse. It fell with a roar of tortured timber and rock, filling the air with choking dust and debris. After a while, everything grew eerily silent.

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Xena opened her eyes, took a deep breath and started coughing. Sitting up slowly, she rubbed at her burning eyes and shook her head, swearing as a tiny avalanche of dirt from her hair filled her eyes again. Gabrielle?" she called out cautiously. Looking around in the gloom and settling dust, she listened intently to the tomb-like silence surrounding her. A shaft of sunlight carved a bright path from a jagged split in the ceiling above her, dust motes dancing merrily in its wake. She got carefully to her feet, grimacing at a jab of pain. Her fingers come away bloodied as she touched her side. She brought her fingers to her nose and sniffed, drawing back slightly at the pungent odor. A timber creaked and bowed, breaking the silence with another spill of dirt and rock. "Gabrielle?" she tried again. A low groan answered in return. Xena made her way toward it, carefully pushing rock and pieces of timber out of her way.

"Gabrielle?"

"Xena."

Xena's breath caught when she finally located her, lying on her back, beneath a huge crossbeam from the ceiling. "Gabrielle!" Xena bent down beside her.

Gabrielle opened her eyes, staring up at her for a moment. "Whoa," Gabrielle whispered hoarsely.

Xena's lopsided smile appeared for a brief moment at the supreme understatement of all time. And Gabrielle surprised herself by thinking that she would, without hesitation, blow up all the temples in the world just to see that smile.

Xena stood up, swaying slightly, a little off balance, and examined the beam. "You're going to be all right, Gabrielle.

Gabrielle looked up at her and snorted.

"What?" Xena asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Xena, I have been stomped on, hit in the head and slapped around. I'm sick, tired, hungry, thirsty and have somehow managed to screw up my past for the second time. Now I've blown up a temple, most of which seems to have landed right on top of me. Only you would tell me I'm going to be all right."

Xena was silent for a moment, deep in thought. "I can get you a drink of water," she offered softly.

Gabrielle stared at her for a moment, then burst into laughter, which quickly turned into a fit of coughing. Xena bent over her and lifted her head a little until it passed.

"Better now?"

Gabrielle nodded.

"I'll get you out from under there," Xena stood up, then stooped back down. "What do you mean, you screwed up your past for the second time?"

"Long story...tell you later," Gabrielle promised.

Xena stared at her for a long moment, then stood back up.

"Xena!" Gabrielle grabbed her hand.

"What is it?"

"The baby!" Gabrielle cried, suddenly remembering the blanket-covered basket.

"What?"

"The baby! Where's the baby?" Gabrielle insisted, pushing against the beam, trying to get up.

Xena bent over her, placing a firm hand against her shoulder. "She's not here, Gabrielle. Stop that, you're going to hurt yourself."

"Not here?"

"No."

"But the basket, I saw the blankets move. Xena.."

"Stop fussing and I'll show you."

Xena walked away into the shadows and returned with the basket.

Kneeling down beside Gabrielle, she lifted the blanket. A pair of shinny black eyes peered up at them and Gabrielle let out a small yelp of surprise when a small brown rabbit jumped out of the basket. It turned, giving them an indignant look before scampering off with long ears flying and a final, defiant flip of white tail. Gabrielle chewed on her lower lip for a moment, trying not to laugh and looked into Xena's amused blue eyes. "Will it be all right down here?"

"It'll find its way out."

Gabrielle looked around her, for the first time really seeing the destruction she had caused. "Will anyone else?"

Xena followed her gaze. "Not very likely."

"Where is the baby?"

"Catherine."

"What?"

"Rachel named her Catherine. She's safe. I left her with Ephiny."

"Ephiny?" Gabrielle said, surprised. "How did you, where did you- "

Xena raised her hand, effectively silencing her questions. "Long story. First things first, okay?"

Gabrielle nodded, wordlessly acknowledging the pain in Xena's eyes. Xena gave Gabrielle's shoulder a gentle squeeze and stood up, thus leaving the biggest question unanswered and hanging over them like a great, dark cloud. If Rachel's child was with Ephiny, then where was Rachel? What would separate her from her child? The most obvious answer brought tears to Gabrielle's eyes and she hastily brushed them away before Xena found her crying. Gabrielle watched as Xena cleared most of the debris away from the beam.

"Are you in pain?" Xena asked, bending over her once more, noting the wetness in her eyes.

Gabrielle shook her head. "Not a lot. It's kind of hard to breathe. I don't know if that's good or bad. Not being in pain," she clarified at Xena's questioning look.

"I think the beam is just lying on top of you, something kept it from crush- if it would have fallen directly on you...well..."

"Mmm, I get the idea. Can you get it off?"

Xena bent down and tried lifting it, which caused her head to spin and little dark spots to dance before her eyes. Gabrielle reached over, touching her side. Xena pulled away with a little hiss of pain.

"You're hurt," Gabrielle told her quietly.

"It's all right," Xena placed a hand over the wound.

Gabrielle reached up and grabbed her other hand. "Xena, was it from the weapon Zagnan fired?"

Xena looked around, subtly trying to withdraw her hand from Gabrielle's grasp.

"Was it?" Gabrielle insisted.

"Yes," Xena said, looking back down at her.

Gabrielle swallowed, saying nothing for a moment. "It was poisoned, the shot was- "

"I know."

"You have to do something, it- "

"It just grazed me, Gabrielle, hopefully, I'm just having a mild reaction to the poison."

"But- "

"There's nothing I can do about it."

"There must be something. Xena- "

"No, there's nothing. Let it rest, Gabrielle."

The look in Xena's eyes quelled any further discussion and Gabrielle reluctantly dropped both the conversation and Xena's hand.

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Gabrielle stared dubiously at the arrangement of wood and rock Xena had concocted. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

Xena gazed down at her. "It should. Why? Do you have a better idea?"

"Not really."

"Well, then..."

"What is it supp...going to do?" she inquired curiously, shifting her gaze from Xena's.

"When I push down on this," Xena placed her hand on a good sized piece of timber she had wedged under the beam and over a another piece of timber lying crosswise beneath it. "I should be able to lift it enough for you to pull yourself out. Do you think you can do that? Pull yourself out?"

"I think so, yes."

"Well, don't take too long. If I can lift it, I don't know how long I'll be able to hold it."

"Just don't drop it, okay?"

Xena smiled a little. "Wouldn't even think about it."

Gabrielle returned the smile.

"Ready?" Xena asked.

"As I'll ever be," Gabrielle attested.

Xena swiped a hand across her forehead as a small bead of sweat trickled down into her eye.

"Are you nervous about this?" Gabrielle asked, giving her a look.

"Not really, are you?"

"Should I be?"

"Probably. Here we go."

"Great," Gabrielle muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"I said, great, I'm ready."

Xena took a couple of deep breaths, wiped her hands on her thighs, placed them on the piece of timber and pushed. Nothing happened. Gabrielle put her hands on the beam and pushed up, stopping when she felt a sharp pain in her chest.

"You okay? Xena repositioned her hands on the timber and pushed harder.

"Uh-huh," Gabrielle fibbed.

Xena redoubled her effort and the beam slowly began to shift upward. It rose slowly and Xena's arms trembled with the effort. "Now, Gabrielle, move!"

As Gabrielle attempted to squirm her way out from under the beam, the whole thing began to shift. Xena pushed down harder. "Wait!" Xena gasped, "I'm losing-- I can't hold it!" Xena struggled to reposition herself and regain control, but the beam began to slide down the crosspiece of wood beneath it. Worse, the whole thing shifted left towards Gabrielle. Afraid that the beam would slide off the crosspiece and crush Gabrielle, Xena began to lower it. Muscles screaming, head spinning, heart thumping wildly in her chest, she fought to hold it. With a sound like a crack of thunder, the crosspiece snapped and the beam fell with a muffled thud and a spray of dirt and dust.

"Gabrielle!" Horrified, Xena dropped to her knees and tried to see her through the nearly impenetrable cloud of dust. "Gabrielle!" Xena whispered. Dread squeezed her heart so tightly she could scarcely breathe until she finally heard Gabrielle coughing. The dust began to settle and Xena stifled a curse as she looked around. The crosspiece, fortunately, hadn't collapsed completely and was still partially resting on the piece of timber Xena had used as a fulcrum beneath it. The beam had shifted further down the crosspiece and now the whole mess lay like a huge, grotesque cross on top of Gabrielle. A vague, hazy-blue image of a crucifixion stole into Xena's consciousness for a moment, raising gooseflesh on her skin, then it was gone. Xena stared for a moment, shaking her head slightly. Unaccustomed to having her plans go so miserably awry, she cursed soundly.

"Xena?" Gabrielle tried to move and the crosspiece groaned ominously.

"Lie still, Gabrielle."

"What...happened?" she asked, struggling to breathe.

"Shush. Let me think."

Gabrielle looked down, then raised an eyebrow and looked up into Xena's blazing eyes.

"Don't say it," Xena warned.

"Not a word," Gabrielle promised and sucked in a quick breath as the crosspiece moaned again and the beam pressed down harder still.

Xena studied the beam and the crosspiece. If she tried to move either one of them and the crosspiece broke completely, that would be the end of it. And the end of Gabrielle. But she couldn't just leave it like that; it was a miracle that it was still holding at all. Maybe she could get another piece underneath somehow. She closed her eyes and swiped a forearm across her sweat-drenched face. Her head spun madly for a nauseating moment and she quickly opened her eyes again. She shook her head a little, trying to form a plan, but found her mind a frightening blank slate.

"Xena," Gabrielle's voice was hushed and small.

Xena looked down at her.

"You don't look so good."

"Yeah, well, neither do you."

Gabrielle gave her a wan smile. Xena stared at her dust- covered face, trying to think. She stood up.

"Be right back."

Gabrielle watched with concern as Xena winced slightly and absently placed her hand on her side as she stood and moved away. Gabrielle closed her eyes as the beam shifted minutely downward once more.

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She opened her eyes again as Xena lifted her head a little and placed a blanket under it.

"Better?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Can you drink some water?"

"Think so."

Xena lifted a battered cup to her lips, keeping a wary eye on the beam. Gabrielle lifted her head a little and sipped thirstily, nearly emptying the cup. "Not too much. It'll make you sick."

Gabrielle reluctantly leaned her head back. "Did you- is there more?" Gabrielle asked, feeling guilty about drinking so much of it.

"There's plenty. Plenty of food, too. Zagnan was storing supplies here. Luckily, they are up front and not buried back there." Xena wet a cloth and wiped Gabrielle's face clean of the dust and grime. It felt wonderful and Gabrielle closed her eyes again, relieved to be rid of it.

"Gabrielle?"

"Hmmm?" she replied somewhat dreamily, opening her eyes once more.

"I think you should-- I want you to stay awake, okay?"

"Okay," she paused for a moment, finding it much easier to speak if she did so on an exhale of breath. Xena gazed into her eyes and Gabrielle found herself floating down into the vast, deep blueness of them.

"Gabrielle," Xena touched her shoulder.

"Listening," Gabrielle assured her, focusing once more.

"I don't know how much longer this is going to hold. I don't know what else I can do without help."

Gabrielle stared at her for a moment, then up at the fading shaft of sunlight. "See there," she stated, returning her eyes to Xena's. "And I thought... things couldn't get... any worse." She laughed a little, which made her cough again, which in turn, made her chest ache like someone was pushing a very dull knife into it.

"Does it hurt?" Xena asked softly.

"Only... when I laugh," Gabrielle answered and giggled. "Ow."

Xena's wry smile appeared for a brief moment.

"Now what?" Gabrielle wondered.

"I've got to get help."

Xena began to stand and Gabrielle grabbed her wrist. "No!" she said vehemently, bringing on another bout of coughing and another menacing groan from the crosspiece. "No, please, Xena, ...don't leave me here...alone."

"Gabrielle, I have to get help. I can't get you out without help."

"And can you find help before it falls?"

Xena looked away for a moment. "I don't know," she admitted quietly. "But, I have to try," returning her eyes to Gabrielle's. "I'm not just going to sit here and wait for it to fall. It will kill you, you know."

"Not afraid to die, Xena. But, am afraid...to die alone."

"I'm not going to let you die."

"Stay with me. Please."

Xena said nothing; Gabrielle squeezed her hand. "Please."

Xena sighed and looked around her. "All right. All right, I'll stay. I'm going to try and find another piece of wood or something, to shore this up."

Gabrielle nodded.

"Stay still and stay awake."

"Okay."

"Promise."

"Promise. Cross my heart ...hope to..." Gabrielle stopped, thinking maybe that wasn't the best phrase to use at the moment.

Gabrielle looked closely at Xena. Her face was flushed and moist, her eyes looked glassy and bright. Gabrielle reached up and laid a hand against Xena's forehead. "You're burning up."

"I'll be fine. You relax, I'll be right back."

Xena stood and walked into the shadows. She stumbled slightly, catching herself before she fell. Her vision was blurring, her head felt as though it were filled with liquid fire. Dizzy, and achingly sick, she leaned against the cool rock wall and tried not to pass out. Whatever the poison was, it was strong and relentless, if the shot had done more than just graze her, she had no doubt at all that she would be dead right now. She lifted her head. There were numerous pieces of wood and rock among the debris, but most of them were either huge or too small to do any good. She slid her hands under one of the smaller ceiling beams and found she could not lift it more than a few inches. She struggled with it briefly before a bout of dizziness and nausea forced her to drop it. Angry and frustrated, she straightened and gave it a vicious kick before stumbling away and making her way back to Gabrielle's side.

She felt her heart very nearly stop as she stared down at Gabrielle's quiet face, dropping to her knees beside her, she could detect no movement whatsoever. "Gabrielle?" Xena whispered, giving her a slight shake.

"Wha..." came a murmured reply.

Xena's heart began beating again, thumping so hard in her chest, it hurt. Gabrielle looked into Xena's glistening, frustrated eyes.

"I can't- I don't know what else..."

"It's all right, Xena," Gabrielle enveloped Xena's clenched hand within her own.

"It's not all right, Gabrielle. I can't help you, don't you understand that?"

"You need to rest for a while, Xena. You can barely stand. Just rest. We'll think of something."

Xena stared at her. She was obviously having trouble breathing, which was not surprising, she was lucky to be breathing at all. But, she was right, she had to rest for a while. Xena sat down heavily beside her. Gabrielle closed her eyes.

"Gabrielle."

"Hmmm?"

"Don't fall asleep. Don't let me fall asleep."

"Okay," she agreed, but did not open her eyes.

"Come on, Gabrielle," Xena took her hand again. "Stay with me, here. Tell me a story... Gabrielle!"

Gabrielle opened her eyes and looked into Xena's insistent gaze. "A story?"

"Yes, a story, you know, from one of your scrolls."

"I..."

"Please."

Gabrielle smiled a little, and took a deep breath as Xena stared expectantly at her. "Once, a long time ago," she began, shifting effortlessly into bard mode. "There was a very young bard from Poteidaia."

Xena raised an eyebrow as Gabrielle continued, pausing after each sentence to pull in a breath.

"And this bard found herself in a bit of trouble, which was not an unusual occurrence for her. But, this time, the trouble was much too big for her to talk herself out of, which was somewhat unusual. Just about the time she had pretty much given up hope of getting herself, and those around her, out of this trouble, a woman appeared. Now, this woman, this woman was like no other the bard had ever seen. Tall, strong, beautiful.. very mysterious. And she fought. Fought with amazing skill and a frightening ferocity, much like the Amazon warriors the bard had once read about. The bard found herself strangely drawn to this woman warrior, not only was she fascinating, but there was something oddly familiar about her."

Gabrielle paused for a moment and Xena gave her a strange look.

"Later that night," Gabrielle continued. "With scarcely a moment's hesitation, the bard decided to follow the woman. Her sister mocked her. "A hardened warrior and a little bard from Poteidaia, are you crazy?" she demanded. "But the bard was determined and without a second thought, well, maybe one or two, she left all that she had known and followed the warrior woman."

Gabrielle closed her eyes and Xena placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Gabrielle..."

The sea green eyes opened once more and Gabrielle took another labored breath and continued. "The warrior, understandably, was not altogether pleased when the bard appeared and attempted to join her on her journey. She informed the bard, in no uncertain terms, that she was sending her home in the morning."

Gabrielle looked into Xena's somnolent blue eyes and Xena's mouth quirked up in a small smile.

"I won't stay home," the bard declared. "I don't belong there any more.

And eventually, the warrior relented. Maybe she just felt sorry for the bard, or maybe she, too, felt something oddly familiar about her. Or, maybe, just maybe, she saw something in the bard that no one else could see. Whatever the case, she relented and allowed the bard to join her on her journey. And so they began a new life. Together. The bard, wildly eager to embrace her future, the warrior..." Gabrielle looked into Xena's eyes once more. "The warrior desperate to escape her past."

Xena's expression did not change; Gabrielle drew a difficult breath, noticeably tiring now, and continued. "They traveled far and had many adventures and life was good. And sometimes... not so good." Gabrielle paused for a moment and looked away from her. "But," she continued, so quietly now that Xena could barely hear her, "the young bard, who matured rather quickly on her journey, never regretted her decision."

Gabrielle reached over and gripped Xena's hand. "Never!" she whispered. "And she never will, because..." looking intently into Xena's eyes, "because when they are together, only then, does the bard feel truly whole... and secure ..and..."

Gabrielle's voice, which had been growing increasingly distant, now completely faded away. Xena bent close to her. "Gabrielle..." she whispered urgently.

Gabrielle opened her eyes, feeling her heart lift, as it always did, at the sight of Xena's shimmering blue gaze. Xena laid her hand gently on Gabrielle's face. "I love you, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle smiled. "And loved, yes. I said that, didn't I?" The smile grew wider. "Who would've ever believed it? The warrior and the bard, still together, after all these years." Gabrielle's smile faded as Xena's grip on her hand slowly slipped away. "Xena?" she whispered into an ominous quiet. Straining against the confines of the debris above her, she found Xena's hand once more. The crosspiece whined beneath the weight of the beam and Gabrielle closed her eyes. The cold, formidable silence descended over them like a shroud.

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Xena slept while her body fought the fever and the poison racing through her blood. Her dreams were not pleasant, full of violence and loss, tears and pain. She dreamed of reaching out, and with a single touch, destroying everyone and every single thing that she had ever cared about. She ran for miles, through bitter cold and scorching heat, trying to outdistance her demons. When she finally stopped running and turned to face them, she found nothing but a mirror image of herself. When she reached out to touch it, it shattered in a thousand pieces.

"Help me," she cried aloud, startling herself awake.

She couldn't remember where she was for a moment, which unsettled her more than she cared to admit. A raging thirst and a draft of cold air cleared her head a little and brought her fully awake. She sat up and felt sick. Head pounding, every muscle in her body aching, she made her way slowly to her feet. Dizziness returned with a vengeance and she staggered for a few steps before regaining her equilibrium. "Gabrielle," she said softly, remembering. Making her way back across the room toward the beam, she reached Gabrielle's side and sat down heavily beside her. Gabrielle was sleeping, the crosspiece was still holding. Xena pulled her feet up, crossed her arms over her knees, rested her head on them and closed her eyes. She sat this way for a long time before finally realizing that she was not alone. She lifted her head, gazing down at Gabrielle, but it was not her presence that she sensed.

"Xena."

The voice was soft, musical, flowing over her like warm water. She recognized it immediately. "Lao Ma," Xena's voice was taut with wonder and emotion.

She appeared out of the darkness like an apparition, which, when Xena thought about it, was what she had to be. Xena struggled to her feet and moved toward her, halting when Lao Ma's image seemed to fade as she drew nearer. "This is a dream," Xena declared.

"No, Xena, it is not."

"You left me."

Lao Ma smiled gently. "I believe it was you who left me, Xena.

"Why are you here? Why now?"

"You desired it."

"If it were that simple, you would have been here long before this."

Lao Ma said nothing. Xena looked over her shoulder at Gabrielle. "Help her."

"I cannot."

Lao Ma's words spilled over her, draining her of hope. She stood motionless for a moment, strength ebbing away. She took a stumbling step back, and sat down hard, not exactly falling, but not quite in control either.

"Only you can save her, Xena."

Xena closed her eyes, shaking her head, never for a moment suspecting that these words would come back to haunt her in the future. She opened her eyes. "I can't. I tried."

"It is unlike you to give up so easily, Xena."

Xena's eyes narrowed. "I guess I'm not quite myself these days. There is something about trying to fight death that is defeating."

"There are worse things than death, Xena."

Xena stared silently at her.

"You have a power within you, Xena. You have possessed it from the day you were born. You have used it, sometimes abused it, in many ways."

"In China..."

"Yes."

"But I can't get it back. I've tried."

Lao Ma gazed into her eyes. "You need not get back what you never lost to begin with."

Xena lowered her head and rubbed wearily at her eyes. "I'm telling you, it's gone. I can't feel it, I can't call it up, I don't know if it is real. I don't even know if you are real." Xena looked up at her once more. "You are dead, Lao Ma. You are not real. It's the fever, or I am dreaming."

"I am real to you."

"I can't touch you."

"Can't you?"

Xena raised her eyes to Lao Ma's. Lao Ma was silent, but her eyes, the lift of her jaw, issued a challenge. "The line between what is real, between this world and what lies beyond, is thinly drawn. In your experience, have you not found this to be so, Xena?"

Xena kept her gaze locked onto Lao Ma's, perhaps drawing strength from it, perhaps fearing that if she broke it, she would sever the fragile bond between them. At first, there was nothing but cold emptiness around her. Then, a rush of pure, sweet air gently flowed past her, surrounding her in its warmth. Xena closed her eyes. Drawing in a long, deep breath, she could smell her now, could almost taste her. An odd, familiar mix of exotic spices, incense, deep forest earth, and sun-filled air. It filled her senses, leaving her breathless, immersing her in sweet images from the past. "Lao Ma..." a sudden longing, an overpowering need; Xena reached out... and gasped at the gentle touch of fingertips against her own. The pressure increased as their hands closed together. Finger to finger, palm to palm, she felt their energy merge and expand, sending a strong, radiant surge of heat throughout her body. Xena kept her eyes firmly shut, terrified to open them and find that this was just a dream, an illusion brought on by the fever and the poison in her blood.

"Don't cry, Xena."

She hadn't realized that she was, until she felt Lao Ma touch the tears on her face. Xena opened her eyes and looked directly into the golden warmth of Lao Ma's soft brown eyes. Her mouth opened, but she could not utter a sound, she could only stare. Lao Ma's small, secretive half smile. Her quiet, unassuming beauty that women would kill for and men gladly died for, and the tender look of pure love in Lao Ma's eyes. For many years she had not let herself remember how much she missed her, how much she needed her. She had never felt about anyone the way she felt about Lao Ma except...

Xena turned slightly to look at Gabrielle, lying pale and silent in the gloom, looking more like a vision than Lao Ma. She felt a disturbing sense of betrayal toward them both somehow and turned back to Lao Ma. The half smile had not left her face, but a touch of...what? sadness? longing? had filled her eyes.

"You were destined to be together, Xena, in this life, as well as the next."

Xena felt at once relieved, elated and overwhelmingly sad. "I miss you, Lao Ma. I was such a fool."

"Your heart was hard and consumed by rage, I could not reach you, Xena. When that rage was finally spent and your heart was empty, you received a gift. One with a heart so pure and innocent, a love so unconditional it became your anchor between the darkness and the light. Gabrielle did not defeat the beast within you, Xena, but it respects her and it no longer rules you."

"Help her," Xena pleaded.

"I cannot. Only you can save her, Xena."

Xena shivered as Lao Ma's words spun away from her. Caught up in the folds of time, they were swept away; into the dark, into the waiting hands of The Fates. Xena began to speak, but Lao Ma placed a hand over Xena's heart, silencing her with a single look. "You have only to believe, in yourself and the power within you. Believe in the bond between you and that which you truly love. Believe in the truth you feel in your heart. That is your true strength, that is the power you seek."

Xena lowered her eyes, thinking, wanting to believe. Lao Ma framed Xena's face with her hands. "It is simply a matter of faith, Xena."

Xena raised her eyes to Lao Ma's once more.

"Did you know that the eyes are windows to the soul, Xena?"

Xena looked deeply into her eyes.

"What do you see, Xena?"

"I see the purest, most mysterious soul I have ever known."

Lao Ma smiled.

"And what do you see, Lao Ma?"

"I see the most frighteningly beautiful soul I have ever known."

Xena continued to look into her eyes, not quite sure what to make of that statement.

"I have a gift for you," Lao Ma said gently. She leaned forward and placed her lips on Xena's. Xena closed her eyes as a tremor of pure ecstasy shook her to her soul. It was something far beyond sexual, rather a joining of spirit and light and everything that was pure and good between them. It was golden sunlight, filling her, cleansing her. Lao Ma drew back, leaving Xena breathless, legs trembling like a newborn foal.

"I will always love you, Xena."

Xena opened her eyes and Lao Ma was gone, as Xena knew she would be. Xena lifted her face to the heavens and the bright band of sunlight reflected her tears like diamonds.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Xena sat down beside the beam and placed both hands on it. She spread her fingers across its width and drew in a several deep breaths. Closing her eyes, she felt the power build within her, saw it as a golden wave of light, filling her entire being. She held her breath, letting the energy grow until her hands, her whole body began to tremble. She released the breath and the power simultaneously, pushing it with her mind, from the center of her essence through her body and outward. The beam trembled under her hands and she opened her eyes. A sharp crack! shattered the silence and fissures opened all along its surface. It shuddered and moaned like something alive. Cracking and snapping, with a final screech of submission, it finally just crumbled like clay beneath her touch. Xena lifted what remained of the shattered crosspiece away and leaned close to Gabrielle, brushing away pieces of the sweet smelling wood.

"Gabrielle," she breathed out softly. Taking Gabrielle's hand, she placed her fingers beneath Gabrielle's jaw and turned her face toward her own, whispering close to her ear. "Gabrielle, please..."

Xena closed her eyes, thinking for a moment, then touched her lips to Gabrielle's, gently at first, then more firmly until she felt her respond. She drew back slightly as Gabrielle opened her eyes and gazed up at her.

"Is it time to get up?" Gabrielle asked hoarsely.

Xena half laughed, half sobbed with relief. They stared at one another for a long moment before Gabrielle raised her head and looked around. She began to sit up and gasped as a burning arc of pain shot across her lower back.

"Easy," Xena advised, laying a hand on her shoulder. "How do you feel?"

Gabrielle took a deep breath and winced. Her ribs throbbed, a dull, constant ache. "Like I've been kicked by a mule and it sat on me for a week."

A tiny smile lit Xena's face for a brief moment.

"How do you feel?" Gabrielle asked in return.

"Tired."

"Xena, how did you--"

Xena shook her head slightly. "Rest now, talk later."

Xena raised her head and looked around her. The room began a slow spin, the floor sinking inexplicably from her view.

"Xena?"

"I'm going to get another blanket," Xena mumbled.

"Why don't you just--"

Xena stood up and everything grew ominously dark. Closing her eyes, she watched, fascinated, as a molten river of purple ebbed and flowed through the ebony darkness. Gabrielle's voice sounded very far away and she started a bit when Gabrielle touched her. Opening her eyes, she found herself lying down, cheek resting uncomfortably on the rough, gritty surface of the rock floor beneath her. Now, how did that happen? she wondered. She heard Gabrielle swear painfully under her breath as she maneuvered herself close behind her and laid a deliciously cold hand across her forehead.

"You're freezing," Xena informed her a few moments later.

"Perfect, " Gabrielle replied. "You're on fire; should work out fine."

"We'll be all right."

"Mmm-hmm."

Xena closed her eyes. The darkness caressed her, teasing for a moment, then surged hungrily forward, trying to swallow her like a great black beast. Reaching out, she found Gabrielle's arm lying protectively across her waist. "Gabrielle?"

"Hmmm?"

"Don't let go."

"Never," Gabrielle promised without hesitation and tightened her grip. "Just hold on."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

And in the days and nights that followed, that was about all she could do. Barely able to move without sending the muscles in her back into spasms of blinding pain, Gabrielle held on. Held on to Xena while she fought the dark poison as it made a final, all out effort to take her. Held her while she trembled and shook, her body alternately wracked with cold and fever. Held her, mourned with her, heart breaking, as Xena wept uncontrollably for her children. Held her while she was violently ill, staring fearfully at the bloody froth bubbling from Xena's lips.

Gabrielle slept fitfully, dragged under, finally, by sheer exhaustion, only to be awakened once again by Xena's desperate, tormented cry.

"Gabrielle! Gabri-"

"It's all right," she whispered.

"No. No, don't... not again, please."

"Xena." Gabrielle pulled herself painfully up and leaned over her. Xena opened her eyes and stared uncomprehendingly at her for a moment. Then, fumbling clumsily, she located Gabrielle's hand and brought it close to her face. She studied it with a feverish intensity, first the palm, then, turning it over, the back, then the palm once more. Finally, with a sharp little exhale of relief, or pain, she relaxed a little and looked up into Gabrielle's puzzled eyes. Saying not a word, she squeezed Gabrielle's hand and laid it over her heart, covering it with her own. Gabrielle continued to study her as her eyes closed once again. The unnatural, fierce flush of the fever was gone, leaving her face pale and drawn. But, her breathing was slow and even now, her heartbeat steady and strong beneath Gabrielle's palm. She was sleeping. Gabrielle breathed a heartfelt sigh of relief and settled herself carefully down by her side.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gabrielle was dreaming. It was a comforting dream, one she had experienced many times before. She was writing. She could feel the quill between her fingers, feel the stiff parchment, even smell the old leather binding. Even though it felt very real, she knew it was a dream. She stopped writing and watched curiously as spidery characters continued to emerge from within the yellowed parchment. Both the style and wording were unlike her own.

Blue is the color

Of your eyes

She smiled a little.

Mysterious and deep

As a midnight sky

Her smile faded a bit as a vague sense of unease settled over her.

Blue is the color

Of dreams undone

Growing even more uncomfortable now, she looked away for a moment. A quiet voice urged her to turn away and not look back. But, a deeply entrenched sense of curiosity effectively silenced the voice and she returned her eyes to the parchment. The writing had paused, as though it had been waiting for her. It waited patiently as she read the verse again.

Blue is the color

Of your eyes

Mysterious and deep

As a midnight sky

Blue is the color

Of dreams undone

A sudden coldness seized her as the next words divulged themselves.

As we lie dying

'Neath a midnight sun.

Bitter cold and mild shock brought her fully and uncomfortably awake. Exhaling sharply, she opened her eyes and watched as her breath, frosty white in the meager torch and firelight, dissipated into the darkness. She reached out for Xena and found her gone. She had been sleeping nearly sitting up; the only position that seemed to ease her tortured back. Looking around, she finally located Xena. She was sitting beneath the crack in the ceiling, head bowed, bathed in the eerie, silvery-blue light of the unseen moon. Sensing Gabrielle's gaze, Xena lifted her head and looked directly into her eyes. Xena's eyes were an unfathomable darkness within the ghostly paleness of her face and Gabrielle's dream whispered softly to her;

Blue is the color

Of your eyes

Mysterious and deep

As a midnight sky

They stared at one another for a moment, until Gabrielle found her voice. "What are you doing?" she asked softly.

Xena drew in a deep breath and rubbed at her eyes with fisted hands. She looked, Gabrielle thought for a whimsical moment, like an exhausted child, up past her bedtime.

"Just thinking," Xena answered.

Gabrielle felt a gentle nudge at her heart. She seldom saw this side of Xena. The fearsome warrior within was absent for the moment. Xena looked drained, battle weary, saddened and so very vulnerable. Gabrielle suddenly ached to go to her and she silently cursed her injuries for making that impossible. She leaned forward a little and ground her teeth together as her back muscles shrieked a soundless warning. Xena rose gracefully and walked toward her. Gabrielle marveled, once again, at her almost god-like ability to heal. Xena sat down close beside her and Gabrielle gazed into the untrammeled blueness of her eyes. She knew, though Xena's body was rapidly recovering, that her heart, her soul, had once again sustained wounds that would never be healed. There were a thousand questions on Gabrielle's lips. A thousand emotions she wanted to voice. And though she searched, she discovered, once again, that words of the heart were not easily found. She took Xena's hand in her own. It was disturbingly cold and she wrapped her other hand around it as well, trying to warm it.

"I want to tell you about Rachel," Xena said quietly.

Surprised, Gabrielle merely nodded. She listened intently, not interrupting, as Xena told her about the prophecy, and the birth, and what Rachel had said about her child. Xena seldom looked at her as she spoke and for this Gabrielle was grateful, for there were times when her tears could not be contained and she feared that they would distract Xena from her story. They sat in silence for a time after Xena finished; Gabrielle had not released her hand. Xena turned and looked into Gabrielle's eyes.

"Ask," she said.

Gabrielle drew in a breath and released it slowly. "Do you think Caesar suspected that Rachel was your daughter?"

"Yes," Xena answered, with a certainty that surprised Gabrielle.

"Do you think he believed he was her father?"

"That's very possible, I suppose."

"Do you think he believed the prophecy, or was he just trying to draw you out through Rachel?"

"Both, I think. I'll ask him when I see him."

Gabrielle felt the coldness. Looking into Xena's eyes, she saw that dreadful, dark emptiness of pure evil flicker within their depths. And in that single unguarded moment, she was afraid of her. Xena blinked slowly and the moment quickly passed, but not before leaving a touch of icy dread lingering in Gabrielle's heart.

"Caesar was not Rachel's father," Xena declared.

"Thank the god's," Gabrielle replied without thinking.

Xena raised an eyebrow and gave her a mirthless little smile.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Their conversation was suspended for a time, testing the limits of Gabrielle's patience, while Xena collected herself under the guise of ministering to Gabrielle's injuries. After accomplishing the impossible; helping Gabrielle turn over and lie down without sending the muscles in her back into fits of petulant rage, Xena began massaging in a pungent, soothing mixture of warm liniment and oil. The only sound was an occasional grunt, of either pain or pleasure, from Gabrielle as Xena's strong hands worked their magic.

"Did I hurt you?" Xena asked after a particularly heartfelt grunt from Gabrielle.

"A little," Gabrielle admitted. "But, it's okay."

It did hurt like Tartarus at times, but the end result was worth it. It was an odd mix of pleasure and pain, the former making the other at least tolerable.

"The liniment and oil seem to be helping," Gabrielle mumbled."

"Good," Xena stated.

"At least I knew enough not to drink it this time."

Xena stopped for a moment, lost in thought, then chuckled as the memory came back to her. It seemed, now, like a lifetime ago. "Sorry," she said, as Gabrielle raised her head and gave her a look.

"Mmm-hmm," Gabrielle laid her head back down on her arms.

"You have to admit," Xena said a few moments later. "Looking back now, it was pretty funny."

"Funny to you, maybe. You didn't have a slug for a tongue with accompanying drool for days afterward."

Xena had to bite down hard on her lip to keep from laughing out loud. She cleared her throat and quietly resumed her massage.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Getting Gabrielle re-situated and not hurt her was a job in itself.

Gabrielle nearly bit a hole through her tongue trying not to scream and Xena, noting the bright pain reflected in her eyes, apologized once again. Gabrielle shook her head a little, dismissing her apology as unnecessary. "Could be worse," she ventured, after a few moments.

Xena agreed.

"How long will it take to heal, do you think?"

"Hard to say. Broken bones are more forgiving than muscle; they usually heal rather quickly. Strained muscles can be cranky. Bruised ribs even more so."

Gabrielle sighed. Even eating was a chore and when they finished, Xena left her for awhile. Gabrielle stared longingly at her as she picked her way through the rubble and made her way outside. She was, presumably, checking on Argo and getting fresh water. But in reality, Gabrielle knew, she needed to escape the confines of the walls surrounding them.

Gabrielle breathed deeply when she returned, savoring the scent of fresh air and sunshine that she brought in with her.

"I'll get you outside soon," Xena promised.

Gabrielle said nothing, fully aware that it would be a while yet before she would be able to manage the somewhat treacherous climb to the small window Xena had found to the world outside. Xena handed her a ladle of cool, fresh water and sat down beside her. Gabrielle wondered if she would continue her story, and to her great surprise, she did.

"There are certain times in our lives," Xena began, "when we meet someone who has the power to profoundly change us." Xena looked into Gabrielle's eyes. "If we let them."

Gabrielle smiled a little. Xena's mouth quirked up in a small half smile for a moment before she looked away. "I was a different person before Cortese attacked our village. I was young, happy, fairly innocent, and..."

Xena looked over at Gabrielle. "I was in love." Xena looked away again, before Gabrielle could reply and continued. "His name was Alexander, he had once been a Gladiator for Rome until it began to wear on him and he returned to Greece. You would have never known he was a warrior, he was the most incredibly gentle man I had ever met. Alexander was...well, he was very different. He gave me, not necessarily what I wanted, but what I needed at that time. He was such a contrast; a farmer, a warrior, a killer, a healer. He taught me to love, he taught me to fight. The man was a true enigma," Xena smiled a little. "And he made me laugh."

Xena looked again into Gabrielle's eyes. "Yet there was such sadness in his eyes, nearly invisible within the light that shone there, but it was there."

Xena was silent for a time and Gabrielle sat patiently waiting. She seldom heard Xena speak in this way and she was deeply moved by the simple eloquence of her story.

"His own people thought him blessed," Xena continued. "They called him a prophet, a title he detested and denied. He believed that the insights and visions that he sometimes had were much more a curse than a blessing. But, he was special, in his way, and he certainly gave me something special. He gave me a child."

"Rachel," Gabrielle whispered.

"Yes. Rachel." Xena took a long, deep breath and closed her eyes, leaning back against the wall. "It took us both a while to get used to the idea that we were going to have a child, I can't honestly say that we were overjoyed at first. It was a bit of a shock, you see?"

Xena opened one blue eye and fixed it on Gabrielle, who nodded and thought, I can just imagine. Her face must have reflected the thought, however, because Xena opened both eyes and shot her a look, then closed them once again. "It didn't take us long to get used to the idea though, and we found that we were actually very happy about it. His people were ecstatic. It seemed we had fulfilled another one of their numerous and somewhat annoying prophecies. Time passed quickly, as the good times do. It was one of the most peaceful and happy times of my life, which was why it came as such a shock when I found him crying one night." Xena opened her eyes and leaned forward, capturing Gabrielle's gaze with the intensity of her own. "I remember that night so clearly. It was fall, there was a harvest moon; a huge, golden ball just rising against the deepest, bluest sky I had ever seen. The air was crisp, but not yet carrying winter's bite." Xena stopped and looked around her, shaking her head a little. "Anyway," she continued, leaning back once more. "I sat down beside him and asked him what was wrong. It was so odd, seeing him like that. I don't believe I ever had ever seen him cry. It scared me." Xena shifted a little and looked into Gabrielle's eyes. "He turned at the sound of my voice and stared at me, but I don't believe he was really seeing me. He laid his hand on me," Xena's fingers touched her heart for a moment. "And I remember thinking how cold I felt and how wonderfully warm his touch was." She paused for a moment and looked away.

"I don't remember what I said exactly. Something about it being the happiest time of our lives and asking him what could possibly make him so sad." She sought Gabrielle's eyes once more. "I looked into his eyes, Gabrielle, and wherever he was, I knew I didn't want to be there. I stood up to leave, but he took my hand. His touch had grown cold, almost as cold as the lifeless words he spoke to me."

Gabrielle felt an apprehensive chill crawl up her spine.

"He said, everything changes, Xena, everything.'"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

They sat quietly for a while. Gabrielle gingerly edged herself closer and took Xena's hand. It was trembling, though whether it was her own, or Xena's, or both of them, she could not tell. Gabrielle was so cold; it felt as though her heart was pumping icy water through her veins instead of blood. Xena picked up a blanket, rolled it up and placed it behind Gabrielle's back, easing her gently back against the wall by her side. Gabrielle moved nearer to her, the closeness giving them both some measure of comfort against the chill of Alexander's hauntingly familiar words. Xena cleared her throat and Gabrielle looked over at her.

"Xena," she said quietly, "you don't have to- "

"Yes. Yes I do, I need to tell you now, while I can, if you want to hear it."

"I do."

Xena pushed a hand through her hair and continued. "Everything did change, of course. And I learned once again that the pure and the good can fall before a greater evil. That love and hate tread a thin line and Death can take the innocent as effortlessly as the corrupt. Evil, in this instance, showed up in the form of Cortese and his armies. My brother Lyceus and I wanted to stand and fight. Alexander...well, he disagreed. In the end, Lyceus and I got our way. Alexander took Rachel to safety, hiding her among his people." Xena looked over at Gabrielle once again.

"I changed after Cortese destroyed our village and Lyceus was killed. I chose a path of violence. Fighting only to protect Amphipolis at first, but somewhere along the line, that changed. I never went back. There was always another battle to fight, another enemy to defeat. There were still a few times in my life when I could have chosen a different path. One of those times was shortly before I met Caesar and I became... whatever it was that I finally became." Xena rubbed her eyes; Gabrielle was silent. "Do you remember me telling you that when Goliath and I fought Gareth I was badly injured?"

"Yes, and Goliath protected you."

Xena drew in a breath and Gabrielle watched as a look of profound sadness stole into her eyes. Goliath had lost his family in that battle and had laid the blame for his wife's death squarely on Xena's shoulders. Gabrielle knew that, no matter what Xena said, she would forever carry that guilt with her.

"Yes. He did," Xena said quietly. "And he also got me out of there. He took me to an old friend of his from Rome. Sometimes, it's a very small world..."

"Alexander," Gabrielle quietly concluded.

"Yes. Alexander. He and his family nursed me back to health. His younger brother, Benjamin, reminded me a lot of Lyceus. His older brother, Tomias and his wife, Bethshea, had just given birth to their first child."

The names triggered a spark of instant recognition in Gabrielle's mind.

"My enemies found me, quite by accident, but they did find me. Alexander's people, it turned out, had in their possession a box. A chest rumored to contain a great fortune, and an even greater power, a power so great that it rivaled the gods. So, naturally, when you possess something of that nature, ultimately, someone will try and take it from you." Something stirred in Gabrielle's consciousness; this was beginning to sound very familiar to her.

"My enemies decided to do just that, " Xena continued. "Needless to say, they were overjoyed when they found that not only was the box a reality, but I was there to sweeten the vengeance pot."

Gabrielle felt Xena stiffen suddenly and then go limp, as if an overwhelming weight had settled on her shoulders. Gabrielle turned her head and found herself staring into the twin pools of Xena's blue eyes.

"We hid the women and children in the caves outside Corinth. They were not a violent people. Most of them had never encountered the ruthlessness of men who killed for the pure pleasure of killing." Xena leaned back and rubbed at her eyes for a moment. "Alexander asked me to stay with Rachel at the caves. But, I couldn't stay hidden in the caves, of course. I went back to help. I had not fully recovered from my injuries. I should have stayed where I was, maybe if I had..." Xena took a deep breath and slowly released it. "The box held a wondrous power all right," she went on. "But it was not what they expected when they finally captured it and opened it. Tomais put it fairly simply, being a man of few words; 'They opened it and it turned on them and ate them alive.' That pretty much said it all. The few that survived, those who weren't looking at the box when it was opened, retreated. But they had already done a devastating amount of damage. Benjamin was dead. Tomias was badly hurt. And Alexander, he died protecting me. I never... I never got to say good-bye; Rachel lost her father."

"Oh, Xena..." Gabrielle gently touched her hand, offering comfort .

Xena hurried on, she seemed driven now, unable to stop the flow of words rushing from her lips. "Rachel. She had been born premature, you know, so tiny, so frail. But, she was a survivor. Seeing her again, being with her. She was beautiful. So much like her father, She-" Xena suddenly hesitated as her attention was drawn to an unexpected spill of sunlight across the floor from the cracked ceiling above. She watched as it crept toward her feet, then pulled away as though she feared it would burn her. She returned her eyes to Gabrielle's. Xena's were compelling, stunning, tragically beautiful and luminous with tears. "I loved her, you know, Gabrielle. Loved her completely."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gabrielle felt tears burning behind her eyes and fought a losing battle to control them. She laid a gentle hand against Xena's face. Xena, grateful for the gesture, closed her eyes and absorbed the warmth of her touch for a moment before she drew slightly away and continued on.

"I knew even then that she was a special child and they knew it, too. I think they believed she was a miracle from God; that One God that they served so faithfully. Maybe they were right."

"One God. The Israelites," Gabrielle surmised as it suddenly all fell into place for her. "The box, the Ark, they called it. The Ark that Autolycus later helped us recover for them, that's how you knew about it."

"Yes."

"You left them? You left Rachel with them?"

"Yes. Not the people you met," Xena confirmed, "but yes, I left her with them."

"Why? Why didn't you stay with them?"

Xena looked into her eyes. "Because I changed, Gabrielle, everything changed. I tried, but it was not the same, never going to be the same. The joy was gone, the peace. The anger returned, it grew inside me, it burned, stronger and stronger until I thought I would go mad with it. Even Rachel could sense it. She was a wondrous little child, Gabrielle. She used to stare at me with those knowing eyes, exactly like her father's, and she knew, I believe, even then she knew I would leave her. And as much as I loved her, I knew I could not stay. So, I left her. I left her where they could nourish her father's light and goodness. I knew they would always protect her. They knew, as I did, that she would never survive if she stayed with me."

"But- "

Xena looked over at her and gently touched a finger against Gabrielle's lips. Gabrielle was momentarily distracted by the shimmering, crystalline blue pureness of her eyes.

"It was the right thing to do," Xena whispered hoarsely. "It was."

Xena leaned away from her. Gabrielle swallowed with difficulty and said nothing. There was nothing left to say. There would be no more questions answered now, even if she had the heart to ask them.

"I lost them," Xena spoke after a while, startling Gabrielle, who was deep in thought. "I gave them up to save them and the moment I entered their lives again, I lost them both forever. Where does it end, Gabrielle, when do we stop paying for sins of the past?"

Gabrielle leaned forward, ignoring the wrenching pain in her back, and took Xena's hands in her own. "I don't know," she answered gently. "I don't know, but I'll stay with you. I'll be with you, until the end, I promise."

Xena turned and stared into Gabrielle's earnest gaze. Gabrielle struggled to find the words to dispel the tiny flicker of doubt she saw there. "Well, you're my hero, ya know?" she said, finally. "I don't have time to go looking for another one."

Xena raised an eyebrow. Gabrielle gave her a tiny shrug and forgot all about the pain that flared across her lower back as Xena pulled her into a gentle embrace.

"You're right," Xena whispered close to her ear. "Heroes are hard to find. But, sometimes, you get lucky. I did."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

What is evil lives forever-

Spanish proverb.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Looking for something?"

The great black dogs tensed and turned as one at the sound of Xena's voice. The heavily cloaked and hooded figure straightened slowly from her position above Gabrielle. She turned; a careful, fluid movement, her hands palm up and open before her. Two of the dogs stood rigidly by her side, their eyes bright and alert, staring curiously at her. The third, however, laid back its ears and took a snarling step forward. Xena stared down at it, her lip curling back in an unconscious imitation of its snarl. The woman in black touched a hand to the dog's massive head.

"Tess," she admonished quietly. The dog glanced up at her, returned its eyes to Xena's for a moment then took a reluctant step back and sat down.

"I apologize for Tess' ill manners. She is embarrassed that we did not hear you approach, it's made her a bit testy. "

Xena lifted her eyes to the face hidden beneath the hood and said nothing.

"You must be Xena," the woman continued, looking her over carefully.

"Something I can help you with? Xena replied sardonically.

"To be perfectly honest, I rather expected you'd be... taller."

Xena huffed out a short breath. She could see little of the woman's face within the black hood, a hint of dark eyes against a pale face, a glint of whiteness - teeth? - in the shadows.

"And you are?" Xena inquired, lifting an eyebrow.

"My name is Hecate."

"I can see from the look on your face," Hecate continued after a brief pause, "that you know who I am."

"Hecate," Xena stated. "The goddess of night, or nightmares, as the case may be. To be perfectly honest, I thought you'd be scarier."

Hecate laughed. A short, sharp sound, like a piece of pottery breaking against a wall. "You have been the cause of more than a few nightmares of your own, have you not, Xena?"

"What do you want?" Xena asked, ignoring the jibe.

"I've come only to collect that which is mine."

Xena waited, saying nothing.

"Two souls," Hecate declared. "One male," she glanced over her shoulder and nodded at the fallen debris. "And one female."

Xena felt a chill as Hecate's gaze rested Gabrielle.

"Don't." Xena warned firmly as Hecate reached down toward Gabrielle.

The hood turned slowly back toward her, the dogs rose once more.

"Don't touch her, Hecate."

A glint of white inside the hood again. Smiling? For some reason, Xena found that extremely disturbing.

"I was told she was dead," Hecate said simply.

"Then it seems you were misinformed."

Hecate looked down again at Gabrielle. "Apparently so."

They were quiet for a moment.

"You have no claim to Gabrielle's soul," Xena told her.

Hecate raised her eyes to Xena's once more. "Oh, but you are wrong, Xena. She is indebted to me. If she fails, or dies, before the debt is repaid, her soul is mine."

"Gabrielle would not bargain with you, not if she knew who, knew what, you are. You tricked her somehow."

Hecate stepped closer to Xena and Xena could see her face more clearly. She also saw much more than she wanted to see of the cold, dark eyes, burning with unholy fire beneath the hood.

"I did not lie to her, she recognized my name. She may not have known exactly whom I was, but she was well aware that I was no Hestian virgin, come to salvage her pure little soul."

Xena took another step forward, until they were nearly nose to nose.

"She was sick, hurt, half out of her mind with fever- "

"She nearly talked me to death!"

Xena's mouth quirked up in quick smile. "That much, I believe."

Hecate's eyes remained locked onto Xena's for a moment. Xena stared at the face beneath the hood. It never seemed to look exactly the same; it shifted subtly, like mist drifting across dark water. She never actually saw it change, but it was always different somehow. Hecate laughed abruptly and took a step back, half turning to look at Gabrielle.

"She is a remarkable child," Hecate observed, almost to herself. "I gave her what she desired," facing Xena once again.

"Which was?"

"She desired to change her past, I gave her the opportunity. She failed."

"That's ridiculous, she wouldn't- " Xena hesitated, remembering her own failed attempt at altering her future by trying to redeem herself in the past. "Only The Fates can change the past," Xena stated.

Hecate was silent for a moment. "These are unusual times, Xena, unusual times call for unusual methods. There is a power at work, a power that...concerns the gods."

"You mean you're afraid of it."

Hecate lifted her chin, her eyes burning with cold fire once more. "We respect it. We are not fools."

"Hmph," Xena snorted.

"It would not hurt for you to show a little respect yourself, Xena." Xena eyed her coldly. Hecate sighed. "But then, you never have, have you?"

Xena said nothing, shifting her gaze to Gabrielle, she stared at her for a long time. "Where did she go?" she asked quietly.

"What?"

"Gabrielle. When she went back, where did she go?"

"I think you know."

Xena shifted her gaze to Hecate. "What happened?"

"That, you will have to ask her." Hecate stretched and pulled in a deep breath, the dogs rose to their feet. "I do have one soul to collect. At least my time has not been totally wasted. Come to me, boy." Hecate turned to the fallen debris behind her and Xena clenched her teeth as a cold wind stirred the dust. An almost inaudible groan made the small hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up. "I don't want Gabrielle to be indebted to you, Hecate." Hecate hesitated for a moment, then turned her attention back to Xena.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning just what I said, I don't want you coming for her some day."

"You wish to cancel her debt?"

Xena hesitated only a moment before answering. "Yes."

"Well. Well, this is highly unusual."

Hecate's eyes gleamed once more; the cold wind subsided, leaving their breath vaporizing in the frigid air.

"Cut the crap, Hecate."

Hecate looked up at her, surprised. "What did you say?"

"I said, cut the crap. You are here for a reason; you used Gabrielle for a reason, just as you used that boy. You want something, what is it?"

Hecate continued to stare at her for a while, then she began to laugh, an unnerving sound, one that troubled even the dogs. "You are a clever woman, Xena. The two of you, together, no wonder- " she stopped speaking abruptly and moved closer to Xena. "There is one way, only one way."

"And that is?"

"You must kill the person she is supposed to save. Kill that person and the debt will be canceled. She will not remember the name. She will not remember me."

Xena swallowed, biting on her lower lip. Thinking.

"Come, Xena. Will you not kill to save her soul? She was willing to wager it to save you, willing to give it up, all to save you."

"Shut up, Hecate."

She did. Wondering at herself, and at this woman who fearlessly commanded the gods to silence.

Xena stared at Gabrielle. "Give me some time with her."

Hecate nodded. "All right. But, not too long, Xena. If you want me, call me. I will come. Everything will be arranged. Oh, one other thing, Xena. You cannot tell her, cannot discuss it with her. "

"Why not?"

"Because those are the rules. Break them, and the game is over."

Xena gave her a look, which made her draw back a little in spite of herself. She motioned to the dogs and they jumped to their feet, eager to be gone. Backing away, she turned and mumbled something to herself.

"What?" Xena called out to her.

Hecate turned back to face her, eyes shimmering dark pools, cold smile in place again. "I said, it's funny. You seem much taller now." And with that, they slid into the darkness, leaving a backwash of cold air behind them.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gabrielle sat, with a steaming mug of broth in her hand, and stared at Xena. She had been unusually quiet for the past few days, even for her.

"Xena?" Gabrielle said quietly.

Xena lifted her eyes from the fire pit she had reclaimed from the cave-in. A residue of the black powder still sometimes sizzled and popped, spitting out brief licks of multi-colored flame.

"Hmmm?"

Gabrielle was silent for moment and Xena studied her. She was still pale and haggard looking, but was slowly recovering her strength and flexibility. Having to be waited on hand and foot and unable to be outdoors for more days than she cared to dwell on did not improve her disposition much. Thank the gods for the jagged tear in the ceiling. That, at least, showed her the passing of day and night and gave her some idea of the weather outside. Gabrielle had spent many hours watching smoke from the fire drift upward, creep along the ceiling and spiral outward to freedom. She watched as tiny, and sometimes menacing, little faces hiding in the shadows were banished by the light from sun, only to reappear under the more forgiving light of the moon. Watched as moonlight and sunlight alike stealthily slipped over the ragged edges of rock and splashed to the floor below. When it rained, she watched tiny rivulets run through minute canyons in the rock above the crack. Gathering in little pools, they swelled and finally spilled over the side, scattering silvery drops of moisture across the floor. Once, Xena had awakened her to see a brilliant and perfect rainbow seep through, riding the coattails of an early morning mist. Though fascinating for awhile, she soon grew tired of these everyday miracles and longed to be on the move. Or, even able to move, for that matter. Xena had to feed her like an infant for a while, much to Gabrielle's chagrin. Xena smiled briefly, remembering.

"I can do it," Gabrielle insisted, reaching for the cup. Xena raised an eyebrow, but handed it over. Gabrielle managed to get it almost to her lips before losing her grip on it and spilling it down the front of her.

"Oh, by the gods!" she hissed, throwing her head back against the pillows.

Xena calmly picked up the mug and began sopping up the broth with a cloth. "I don't know if you are just being unusually stubborn, Gabrielle, or if you are afraid I'm going to poison you."

Gabrielle raised her head and gave her a hard, green-eyed stare.

"It's just broth, you know. Even I can't screw up broth."

Gabrielle's mouth twitched in an involuntary smile.

"I ate it," Xena added.

"You," Gabrielle shot back, "could eat anything that didn't eat you first."

Xena looked a little hurt and Gabrielle sighed softly. "Sorry. I just... I just hate you having to take care of me. Don't you ever get tired of it?"

"Do you? Get tired of taking care of me?"

"I seldom have to."

"More than you realize," Xena told her a little distractedly, lifting a spoonful of broth toward her. "Here, now be a good girl, and eat your soup."

"Something's bothering you, Xena, you want to tell me what it is?"

Xena was roused from her reverie by Gabrielle's voice. "What?"

"I asked you what was wrong."

Xena was alternately pleased and often times dismayed at Gabrielle's uncanny ability to seemingly read her thoughts.

"I'm not reading your mind," Gabrielle said, doing exactly that. "I just know you."

Xena looked her straight in the eye and Gabrielle's breath caught, as it often did, at the awesome, cobalt blue splendor of them.

"I have to leave, Gabrielle," Xena informed her quietly.

"What?" Gabrielle answered, mentally prying herself loose from Xena's gaze.

Xena stood up and walked over to her, sitting down beside her. "I have to leave."

It took a moment for that to sink in and when it did, it left a small, cold spot of unease deep within Gabrielle's gut. "When?" she managed, finally, around the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.

"Soon. Today." Xena answered, not looking at her.

Gabrielle swallowed, the lump seemed to be growing in direct proportion to the unease that was quickly spreading through her. She stared wordlessly at Xena for a few moments, until the cold swept through her like an icy wind, leaving her shivering in it's wake.

"Gabrielle?"

Xena turned toward her and took her arm. Gabrielle just stared at Xena's hand, as her dream, her nightmare came back to her. She heard the words so clearly, she was not certain if they were in her mind or if Xena was actually speaking them;

"I'll send someone back for you. I can't do this anymore, Gabrielle..."

"Gabrielle!?" more than a little concerned now, Xena gave Gabrielle's arm a firm shake. Gabrielle looked up at her.

"You're not coming back, are you?" Gabrielle said quietly.

Startled, Xena opened her mouth, a declaration of denial forming on her lips. It died there, in the heat of Gabrielle's blazing turquoise eyes. Xena averted her gaze.

"I'm not sure. But, that's a definite possibility," Xena winced inwardly at how cold that sounded.

Gabrielle stared at her. Her feelings rapidly moving from anger, disbelief and sorrow to pain so intense, she didn't think she could stand it. "Are you..." her voice sounded a thousand years old. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Are you at least going to tell me why?"

Xena still could not look at her. "I can't," her voice so low, the soft moan of the wind nearly obscured it.

"What?"

"I said, I can't!" voice turning harsh, turning to face her now.

Gabrielle drew back a little.

"I can't," Xena repeated, softening her voice, laying her hand on Gabrielle's arm. "I...I need to ask you to trust me, Gabrielle, believe that I'm- "

Gabrielle pulled away from her touch, shaking her head. "No. No, Xena. Not again. Don't ask me to do that. It's wrong and it's unfair. You can't just walk away like this, for whatever reason you think you have to, for whatever quest you feel you have to go on, and expect me to understand. I won't stand for it, any more than you would. I don't need you to protect me any more, I need you to trust me."

Xena remained stoic and maddeningly silent for so long; Gabrielle began to lose her adrenaline charged anger and finally fell back against the pillows.

"You're right, you know."

Gabrielle jumped at the sound of Xena's voice; the silence had lengthened between them to the point where she had almost forgotten she was there. She opened her eyes.

"I was going to ask you to be strong," Xena laughed a little, a short, bittersweet sound. "But you have always been the strong one. I was going to ask that you find Catherine, because she needs you. And you are right, it is unfair and I wouldn't stand for it. But, I'm asking you anyway."

Xena waited, Gabrielle said nothing, would not look at her. Xena stood and gathered her things. Gabrielle's voice halted her after a few steps.

"Don't do this Xena, please..."

Gabrielle's voice held a note of such sad desperation it almost undid her and her firm resolve to leave. She knew if she turned around, she would be lost. A small voice whispered in her mind, asking if she were doing the right thing. She ignored it, having already had this debate over what her head insisted she had to do and what her heart wanted her to do.

"I'll always be with you, Gabrielle, always love you. And I do trust you, if you believe nothing else, at least believe that."

And before Gabrielle could answer, before the sound of her voice drew her back, without another word, without a backward glance, she was gone.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gabrielle shielded her eyes as she stepped out into the sunlight and took a long, deep breath of the sweet smelling air. Her relief at finally being outdoors again was so great, she was literally dizzy with it and had to sit down. She had no idea how long she had been captive beneath the ruins. After Xena left, she thought she might have gone a little mad from the hurt and pure loneliness. And, sometimes, in the night, with only the feeble torchlight to keep back the dark, she thought she heard Zagnan laughing at her from his stone tomb. Anger and despair battled within her for a while, fortunately, anger won out. She did not allow herself to cry and swore that by the time the sun had shown itself through the jagged tear in the ceiling seven more times, she would be strong enough to leave her prison behind. She had done it in five. A small miracle of sorts. Looking around her, she saw that another miracle had occurred, it was spring. The promise of green was just beginning to be evident on the trees and daffodils bravely stuck colorful heads up through the mud and patches of lingering snow. A sound made her turn and she nearly fainted in surprise. "Argo," she whispered, carefully standing up.

The horse lifted her head and snorted. Gabrielle rubbed her eyes and looked again, the horse was still there. Gabrielle walked slowly toward her and Argo tensed. "Whoa, Argo. Easy, girl." Gabrielle laid a hand on her neck and gently stroked the silky coat. Argo pushed her nose under Gabrielle's other hand and she rubbed her thumb over its velvety softness.

"So, she left you, too, did she? I'm not sure if that's a good sign, or a really bad one."

Argo whickered and pushed Gabrielle with her nose.

"I assume she left the saddle, too?"

Argo ignored the question and bent down to graze on the lush new grass at Gabrielle's feet. Gabrielle tilted her head back and gazed up at the bright blue sky.

"So, Xena, you promised you'd always be with me, you want to give me a sign? I mean, Argo is good, but I'm hardly convinced." She waited a moment, staring straight up, then lowered her head. The head-back-and-then-down motion had not been a wise move. Feeling a little sick, she sat down and put her head between her knees. The nausea passed after a while and she cautiously lifted her head. For a moment she thought it was snowing, then she realized it wasn't snow at all. Tiny butterflies, hundreds of them, surrounded her. Green, white, blue and yellow, she watched in open-mouthed amazement as they bounced and careened drunkenly on the breeze, like flower petals blown by the wind. They stayed for quite a while landing on various objects, herself included, then suddenly lifted en masse and rode the air currents on into the valley. Gabrielle watched until they disappeared from sight.

"Not bad," she said, clearing her throat. "I'm impressed. So, how about one more time, just to be sure it wasn't a fluke?" She sat and waited and finally began to feel more than a little silly. "Zeus, Gabrielle," she murmured to herself. "I think you've been out in the sun too long already." She found the saddle just inside the ruins and lugged it gingerly back out to Argo. She threw the saddle blanket on and Argo raised her head and threw her ears back.

"Now, don't start with me, Argo," Gabrielle warned. "I am not in the mood." She lifted the saddle, grunting with the effort, feeling a slight twinge of pain in her lower back and Argo sidestepped her just as she released it. It fell to the ground, landing in a puddle of mud.

"Argo!"

The horse gazed calmly down at her as she bent down and picked it up again, shaking the mud off of it, almost dropping it again.

"Now, hold still!" she demanded sternly. "Quit fooling around." She lifted it again and Argo moved away.

"Argo! Stand still, you four footed daughter of a- "

"That's not a very nice way to talk to a lady."

For the second time that day, Gabrielle felt as though she were going to faint. And she was seriously thinking that maybe she wasn't as well as she thought she was. She held her breath and waited to hear the voice again. She heard the wind scattering dry leaves across the ground and birds and the sound of Argo's chewing, but nothing else. The weight of the saddle was making her arms ache, and the muscles in her back were beginning to sit up and take notice, she dropped it at her feet.

"Don't I even get a hug?"

The voice was almost directly behind her this time and she jumped. She knew of only two people who could move that silently.

"Xan," Gabrielle whispered and turned around.

She looked tired and her skin showed an unhealthy pallor beneath her tan. Her arm was in a sling underneath her coat and her clothes hung loosely on her now. Even the silver of her eyes had faded to a paler shade of gray. And Gabrielle thought she was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

"By the gods, Xan..." Gabrielle stepped forward and wrapped her in a fierce embrace.

"Gabrielle," Xan wheezed. "You are squeezing the air out me, if you don't let go, you are going to be wearing my breakfast."

Gabrielle laughed and cried at the same time and stepped back, but she would not let go of Xan's arm. "I thought you were dead."

Xan gave her a small, bleak smile. "Yeah, that makes two of us. I had my doubts about finding you in one piece, too." Xan looked closely at her. "You look like crap, Gabrielle. No offense."

"None taken. You look pretty wonderful, too."

Xan grinned at her and her eyes regained some of their silvery fire, Gabrielle almost wept with joy.

"Let's sit down."

Xan looked toward the ruins. "Do you want to go inside?"

"Not in this lifetime," Gabrielle replied grimly.

Xan nodded understandingly. Gabrielle still could not bring herself to release her arm. Xan placed her hand over Gabrielle's.

"I'm real, Gabrielle, I'm not going anywhere," she promised gently.

Gabrielle blushed a little and let go of her arm.

"How did you- "

"What did you- "

They both started talking at the same time and laughed.

"We always seem to be doing that. You first." Gabrielle offered.

Xan settled herself on a blanket and leaned back against Argo's saddle.

"It was Rachel," she said simply.

"I thought she was- " Gabrielle stopped when Xan looked up quickly and met her eyes. "Is she all right?" Gabrielle finished.

"I don't know. I don't remember much, I've been looking for her. Her and Nathan, that son of a bitch."

"He's dead."

"Good. I hope it was painful. Was it?"

Gabrielle glanced over her shoulder at the ruins. "I'd say that was a pretty safe bet."

"May he rot in Tartarus. Sorry," she added, searching Gabrielle's face.

"Not a problem," Gabrielle assured her.

Xan took a deep breath and winced a little. "Anyway, I've been trying to find her and Xena. And you," she added, blushing a little, looking away.

"Xan..." Gabrielle touched her arm again.

"Rachel's dead, isn't she?" Xan asked, not looking at her.

Gabrielle glanced down at her hand on Xan's arm for a moment. She flexed her fingers a little, remembering the healing. She was sure that it had been Rachel. Though now that seemed nearly impossible, she had witnessed stranger things. "I don't know for sure. But, I know her baby is alive."

"What?" Xan sat up, facing her once more, and grabbed her hand. "Are you sure? Where is she?"

"She's safe. Xena left her with a very good friend."

"Who?"

"Ephiny. Do you know who she is?"

"I've heard of her," Xan confirmed. "She's an Amazon, isn't she?"

"Amazon Queen, actually," Gabrielle corrected.

"Even better. Thank you, God," Xan whispered, closing her eyes, leaning back once again. She was silent for a while and Gabrielle sat quietly, waiting. Xan wiped her eyes on the back of her sleeve, a habit that Gabrielle would forever associate with her, and looked at her again.

"I think Rachel is alive, too. I think if she were dead, I would know it, I would feel it. I can't explain...I... "

"I know what you mean."

"I'll find them."

"I know you will."

Xan drew in a long, shaky breath and released it slowly. "Where are you going, Gabrielle?"

It was Gabrielle's turn to look away. "To find Xena."

Her voice was such a strange mix of steely resolve, anger and sorrow, Xan didn't know what to say. "I thought she might be... I was afraid.."

"She's alive."

Gabrielle looked up and Xan stared at her for a moment before reaching over and gathering her gently into her arms. Gabrielle stiffened slightly then let herself relax in her embrace, closing her eyes, laying her head on Xan's shoulder, she wrapped her arms around her and held on tight.

"You need to cry, Gabrielle," Xan advised softly.

"I can't," Gabrielle whispered.

"Tell me."

And she did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

They slept under the stars that night, wrapped in each other's arms, warding off the cold and the demons that plagued their dreams. It would be many years before either of them could comfortably sleep anywhere but outside again. Gabrielle woke to the sight of the sunrise reflected in Xan's eyes and thought she had never seen anything so curiously beautiful. Xan looked down at her when she rolled over a bit to look at the sun rising in the purple sky. A cloud passed in front of it and the sun set it ablaze, throwing orange bands of light in all directions.

"Wow," Gabrielle whispered in awe, looking back into Xan's eyes. "Isn't that gorgeous?"

"Yes," she agreed wholeheartedly." It is."

Gabrielle smiled a little and turned back over. Scooting back against Xan, she intended only to watch the sunrise for a while longer, but ended up falling back asleep, lulled by Xan's warmth and the feel of her heartbeat against her back. When she woke again, the sun was much higher in the sky and Xan was throwing a piece of wood on a small fire. Gabrielle sat up and Xan turned to look at her.

"Not much of a morning person, are you?"

"Not much," Gabrielle admitted.

"I would have made breakfast, but in your weakened state, my cooking could be lethal."

Gabrielle laughed and it felt strange and wonderful at the same time.

"I have something for you." Xan said, as Gabrielle got stiffly to her feet and shivered slightly in the crisp morning air. Xan rummaged through a fur-covered bag and pulled something out. "Ta-da!" she said, handing it to Gabrielle with a flourish and a small bow. Gabrielle laughed and took it. It was Xan's coat. And with all that had happened, it was that simple gesture that almost brought her to tears. She swallowed several times and looked up at her.

"You forgot it when you left," Xan said softly. "I have your staff, too."

Gabrielle hugged the coat to her chest and raised an eyebrow. "It smells like horses," she replied gruffly.

"Could be worse."

"Much," Gabrielle agreed.

They spent the rest of the morning walking through the newly flowered meadows. They did not talk much, content and comfortable in each other's silent company. They stumbled across an area of hot springs and washed out their clothes. Then spent so much time reveling in its cleansing warmth, their fingertips and toes were white and puckered when they finally forced themselves out. By early afternoon they were back at the ruins and stood staring at each other in the warm sunlight.

"I'll come with you."

"No. No, Xan. Thank you, but you need to find Catherine and Rachel. If Caesar finds out they are still alive...well..."

Xan's pale face grew even paler at the thought. "I was thinking," Xan said slowly, "maybe Catherine is the reason I don't feel like Rachel is...gone. Because, a very big part of her is still here."

"And here," Gabrielle placed her hand over Xan's heart.

Xan gave her a small sad smile and took her hand. "You know, Gabrielle, I believe I'm a little in love with you."

Gabrielle felt a great warmth rise within her, it flushed her face with color and set her heart racing. She opened her mouth and Xan laid a gentle finger against her lips.

"You don't have to say anything, in fact, I'd rather you didn't."

Gabrielle closed her eyes and took Xan's wrist, pressing her lips against the palm of her hand. Xan's eyes shimmered like quicksilver as she pulled Gabrielle close to her. "God, I hate good-bye's."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Xena stood silently, a tall, dim shadow in the darkness, staring down at the man she was about to kill. Moonlight glinted off of the chakram in her hand. The man stirred slightly, perhaps sensing her presence, perhaps sensing death, which tonight, were one and the same. Xena chewed on her lower lip while she stood thinking, still trying to figure out how this man's death, or in Gabrielle's case, the sparing of it, would serve the gods. One thing was certain, unlike Ming T'ine, Lao Ma's treacherous son, this man had never harmed either of them, not yet anyway. If she did kill him, it would be murder, plain and simple. And it would be the end of her and Gabrielle. For she vowed to never again look Gabrielle in the eye and knowingly lie to her. And when she told Gabrielle the truth about what she was about to do, that she murdered a man, even to release Gabrielle's soul from Hecate's grip, she would never forgive her, never.

All she had to do was step away. All Gabrielle had to do to repay the debt herself was to somehow save this man in the future, something that was as second nature to her as breathing. So why didn't that make her feel better? Because that was what Hecate wanted, which meant that no good would come of it. Frustrated, she clenched her fist and felt something sticky and warm seep through her fingers. She had forgotten the chakram and she stared blankly at the blood, thick and black in the darkness, dripping from its edge to the floor. Silently cursing her stupidity and the lack of focus that could easily get her killed, she passed the chakram to her other hand and wiped her hand on the black cloak she was wearing. The man turned restlessly in his sleep as Xena hovered over him like a great dark bird. If she killed this man tonight, she would never see Gabrielle again, of that, at least, she was certain. Was it worth the cost, would Gabrielle be better off without her? Unsettling visions still haunted her dreams. And the image of Hecate calling the boy's soul to her made her blood run cold.

The moonlight shimmered on the chakram as she pulled it from beneath the cloak. She had never felt so alone.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gabrielle woke when a bright spear of sunlight managed to penetrate the dense stand of fir trees she was sleeping under. It fell directly on her face. Groaning, she opened one eye and immediately covered her head with a blanket after it was viciously assaulted by the tenacious sunlight.

I should get up, she told herself, get up and get moving, make some decent headway this morning. She thought about it for a moment. Then tried to fight off the depression that always seemed to be lurking. She failed miserably, it settled over her like a thick mantle of fog.

"Crap," she muttered, lifting the blanket an inch or two, peeking out at an impossibly blue sky. Taking a deep breath, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. Her nose wrinkled as she caught a whiff of some slightly rancid odor. Lifting the edges of her bedroll, she looked around her quickly, praying she hadn't bed down on something foul in the dark last night. Nothing. "Huh," she said, rubbing her nose.

Movement off to her left compelled her to reach quickly for her staff. Mentally scolding herself for being so careless, she took a careful survey of her surroundings. She saw a campfire, with a battered old cooking pot hanging above it, but no one was in sight. Standing up, grimacing at a multitude of aches she was beginning to think were never going leave her, she made her way cautiously to the fire. There wasn't much there. A water bag, a small bedroll and an old black pot. She looked around again, seeing nothing. Okay, she thought, so someone else made camp here last night, no big deal. She lifted the lid covering the pot and peeked in. "Phew!" she gasped, hastily dropping the lid and backing away a few steps. Gods, what were they cooking in there, old socks? Ick.

"I made breakfast..."

The voice froze her, literally stopping her heart for a split second, before it lurched painfully into motion once more. She couldn't breathe, couldn't talk, couldn't move, terrified to turn around.

"I know you didn't sleep very well last night, and I- "

The words released her, and her knees almost buckled beneath her, she had to grip the staff with both hands to keep from falling. A great, wrenching sob began somewhere deep within her. It rose like a massive wave and broke, finally, in a cleansing flood of tears she had not yet dared allowed herself to cry. Strong arms surrounded her, pulling her close. The sweet, exquisite, warmth of that touch, the familiar, earthy smell of sun, horses, leather and steel enveloped her senses, filled her with absolute joy and overwhelming relief.

"Gabrielle..." the voice was husky, tender yet incredibly strong.

Closing her eyes, dropping the staff, she turned around slowly, scarcely daring to believe it was true. Gentle hands encompassed her face, lifting it slightly, thumb lightly tracing her lips, her jaw, wiping her tears away.

"Gabrielle, I'm so sorry."

Gabrielle shook her head and opened her eyes, still not believing. If this were but yet another dream, she would not be able to bear it. One look in those extraordinary, brilliant blue eyes dispelled all of her doubts. She felt suddenly lighter. The fear, the loneliness, the overwhelming sadness, magically fell away. Freeing her heart and her soul as well.

"By the gods, Xena, how..." barely able to speak, she lifted a hand to touch Xena's face. "You came back."

Xena graced her with a tiny, crooked smile. "Someone very special once told me that only the very wise learn to truly obey their hearts. I decided she was right."

Gabrielle stared at her for a long time before moving her hand to the back of Xena's neck, urging her gently down. She hesitated, looking into Xena's eyes, searching, waiting; for what, she could not fathom. Xena turned her head slightly, closed her eyes and pressed her lips

gently against Gabrielle's. She was home again, and she intended to stay there.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Epilogue

Gabrielle rubbed a hand over her nose as Xena emptied the contents of the cooking pot into a hole in the ground.

"You know, you promised you wouldn't do that again."

Xena glanced up at her. "Well, how am I going to learn to cook if I don't practice?"

"If you keep this up, you are going to contaminate the water table from here to Athens."

"What are you saying?"

"I should do the cooking?"

Xena grinned widely. "Great. I'm glad we got that settled."

Gabrielle narrowed her eyes, suspecting that she had been out maneuvered somehow. Again. Picking up the water bag, she handed it over to Xena who secured it to Argo's saddle. Xena lifted herself into the saddle and extended a hand down to Gabrielle.

"Want to ride?"

"Uhm, yeah. Thanks."

Xena pulled Gabrielle up behind her and gave Argo a gentle nudge with her knees, urging her forward.

"You know..." Gabrielle began.

"Yeeees," Xena replied, giving her a look over her shoulder.

Unfazed and undaunted by the look, Gabrielle continued. "Remember you said you would answer all my questions?"

"Uh-huh," Xena answered, while seriously thinking about finding Gabrielle her own horse.

"Well. How did you do that thing with the butterflies? And how- "

Gabrielle stopped speaking when Xena reined Argo in and turned around to look at her.

"Butterflies?"

"The butterflies. You know, outside the ruins. You did that, didn't you?"

"Did what?" Xena turned back around and nudged Argo forward once more.

"The butterflies." Gabrielle repeated, growing a little exasperated. "You know, when I asked for a sign and- "

"Did you put the camp fire out?" Xena interrupted.

"What? Yes, I put out the fire. I think. Didn't I?"

"I don't know, Gabrielle, I'm asking you."

"I'm sure I did. Should we go back and check?"

"Not if you're sure."

Gabrielle was silent for a moment, thinking. "I did," she said firmly.

"Good."

"Where was I?"

"You were wondering if you put out the fire."

"Yeah. No I wasn't ... Ah, by the gods, Xena," Gabrielle sighed dramatically.

Xena smiled to herself. "Gabrielle?"

"What?"

"Don't spit, okay, we're downwind."

Gabrielle snorted, which made Xena laugh. Gabrielle gave up and leaned her head against Xena's shoulder. Soaking in the warmth and the peace, taking in the scenery. She was half dozing, watching shape-shifting patterns of shadow play along the side of the road, when she heard the voice.

"You still owe me a debt, child."

She lifted her head from Xena's shoulder and saw a dark shadow detach itself from the trees and drift into the road. Startled, she stared down at it as it transformed itself into a tall monk-like figure, covered from head to foot by a black cloak.

"Hecate." The name slipped into Gabrielle's mind as smoothly as silk flowing through her fingers. Gabrielle opened her mouth, but before she could speak the name, the hood lifted and two words were spoken.

"Brutus!" it hissed at her in a voice older than time. "Remember!"

Gabrielle craned her neck around as they passed and watched it disappear back into the shadows. "Brutus," she repeated quietly.

Brutus. At the mere mention of his name Gabrielle was able to foresee his destiny. And had she been allowed to remember it, she may have somehow been able to change it. But that was not to be. She saw it all; the lives, the destinies, the deaths that would forever change the world. And Brutus was the key. Ephiny, Pompeii, Caesar, Gabrielle and Xena. Brutus would inevitably touch them all and in doing so, ultimately seal their unthinkable fates.

"Did you say something?" Xena asked.

"Uh, no, nothing," Gabrielle suddenly felt as though she had been on a long and very strange journey.

"You all right?" Xena looked back at her over her shoulder.

Gabrielle tightened her grip around Xena's waist. "I'm with you, it's a beautiful day and you get your first cooking lesson tonight. What could be wrong?"

"Hardy har har. Go back to sleep," Xena gave Gabrielle's knee a squeeze before moving on.

"I wasn't sleeping."

"Do you snore when you're awake?"

"I don't snore!"

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"I do not." Gabrielle placed her hands on Xena's sides.

"Don't even think about it," Xena warned.

Gabrielle grinned, highly amused with her secret knowledge that the nearly indestructible Warrior Princess could be tickled into a state of near helplessness. "I do not snore."

"Not only do you snore, Gabrielle, you snort like a wart hog."

"Oh, now that does it! Prepare to die laughing, Warrior Princess!"

Argo lifted her head, pulling against the bit, and snorted herself,

sending Xena and Gabrielle into peals of laughter. Gabrielle leaned contentedly against Xena's shoulder once again, determinedly banishing the tiny, niggling feeling of unease that had settled itself deep within her. Wherever they were going, whatever they would face, she felt safe and secure in the knowledge they would be all right as long as they faced it together.



End



There is a sequel to this story now available entitled The Lesser Evil.

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