~ The Lesser Evil ~
by P Wilson
The characters in this story are the property of MCA/Universal and Ren Pics. This story is not for profit and is not intended to infringe anyone's copyright. There is very, very light subtext, if this offends you, please do not read. I would like to thank Xena Torres of the PNW Online Xena fan club for her invaluable assisstance, patience and encouragement. Also, regarding the quotes I have include from various songs and poems; I borrowed them because they are outstanding and, I beleive, added something to the telling of the story. They are also not intended to infringe on anyone's copyright.
This is a sequel to A Simple Matter of Trust. You really should read the first story in order to be able to fully understand this one!
Enemies' promises are made to be broken
The Nurse and the Wolf
Aesop's fables
Timeframe: Shortly before Endgame
One way leads to diamonds,
One way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.
In your heart you wonder
Which of these is true;
The road that leads to nowhere,
The road that leads to you.
Will you find the answer
In all you say and do?
Will you find the answer
There inside of you?
-Enya-
Part 2
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I believe in your eyes
I believe in your fate
I believe we can fly
On the wings we create
-melissa etheridge
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Gabrielle opened her eyes to the surreal sound of sweet birdsong and the sight of bright sunshine. The birdsong was outside, the sun was pouring through a hole in the roof. A hole in the roof? She lay still for a moment, trying to reconcile the events of the previous night with the present. She remembered the storm, the child, the dog, the boar and going into the water, but very little after that. She pushed herself up on her elbows, then closed her eyes as a wave of nausea washed over her. Closing her eyes resulted in that awful seasick spin, so she opened them again and fought off an attack of dry heaves with sheer willpower. Taking a deep breath was also a mistake; her sinuses gurgled, her lungs burned and a surge of foul tasting river water came rushing up the back of her throat.
"Gack!" she turned her head and spit, fought down another dose of the same, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she lay back down. After a few moments, she felt a little better and raised her head to study her surroundings. She was in some type of shelter, there were walls and a roof, and the hole in the roof was not from decay, but rather by design. A rope led from a cleverly designed hoist that lifted a section of thatched roof, opening it to the sky above. Embers glowed in a dying fire ring a few feet away; smoke climbed lazily, easing its way out the hole in the roof. Other objects lay half-hidden in the shadows; a table, a wooden chair, some clothing. She was lying on a bed covered with blankets and furs. She tensed as a shadow filled the sunlit doorway.
"Gabrielle?"
"Xena," The word escaped on a breath of relief she didn't realize she was holding.
Xena stepped through the doorway and scanned the room. She looked exhausted; her face an odd mix of concern, relief, curiosity and maybe a tiny touch of anger.
The child appeared at Xena's side and pushed past her, walking up to the bed with a determined stride. "Where were you?!" she demanded. "Look at you," she admonished accusingly, eyes taking in the fire, the bed, and the warm blankets. "We looked all night for you, we were worried sick!"
Gabrielle stared at her in wonder, feeling instantly guilty at their disheveled appearance, yet not knowing exactly why. "But, I thought- " Gabrielle began.
"How did you get in here anyway?" the child interrupted.
"I..."
"Do you believe this?" the child demanded, looking up at Xena.
Xena raised an eyebrow and, if possible, looked even wearier than before.
"Xena," Gabrielle began, "I thought that you..."
Xena raised a hand, silencing her. The child began to speak and Xena threw her a look, which, amazingly, silenced her, also.
"Are you all right?" Xena asked, voice raspy with fatigue.
"I think so," Gabrielle sat up, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders, and swung her feet out onto the floor. The room tilted, then straightened, and she winced as a number of brand new aches and pains announced their presence. Limping slightly, Xena closed the distance between them and knelt by the bed. Gently pushing the hair from Gabrielle's eyes, she touched the freshly re-opened gash on her forehead, ran her thumb softly over a bruise on her cheek.
"What?" Gabrielle asked of the look in Xena's eyes, unconsciously leaning into the comfort of her touch.
"Cuts and bruises, very colorful, does the rest of you look like this?" Xena's half-smile was brief and utterly weary.
"Probably. I..." distracted by the feel of rough cloth against her face, Gabrielle touched the bloodstained bandage wrapped around Xena's palm. "What happened to your hand?"
"Well, it's a bit of a long story and- "
"She got bit," the child injected, startling Gabrielle, who had forgotten she was there.
"And that was the condensed version," Xena concluded, shooting the child a look.
"Well, you did," the child insisted, in spite of the look.
Gabrielle captured Xena's hand and carefully unwrapped the bandage. She looked up at Xena, who was still in stare-down mode with the child. "Which one bit you," Gabrielle asked. "The boar or the wolf?"
"She's not a wolf," the child informed her huffily, breaking her gaze from Xena's to give Gabrielle an exasperated look.
"She sure looked like a wolf," Gabrielle stated flatly.
The child took a breath and Xena held out her hand in a halting motion. "Allow me. She's just a dog, she could, possibly, be a tiny..."
"Teeny tiny," the child corrected.
"Teeny-tiny part wolf, but mostly dog," Xena clarified.
"Ah. That would be the biting part I presume," Gabrielle replied.
Xena gave her a grim little smile.
"So. Which one bit you," Gabrielle asked again. "Dog, teenytiny part wolf, or boar?"
"Wolf bit her once for sure," the child popped in. "Right in the a- "
"Do you mind if I answer my own questions here?" Xena interrupted.
"I thought you said she wasn't a wolf," Gabrielle challenged.
The child looked at her. "Well, she isn't, that's just what I call her."
Gabrielle's eyes narrowed. "What?"
"Wolf. I call her Wolf sometimes," the child answered. "She looks like a big old wolf." She made a where did you get her face at Xena and rolled her eyes heavenward in a manner implying supreme denseness on Gabrielle's part.
Gabrielle shook her head like a dog trying to dislodge a bee from its ear. Xena pinched the bridge of her nose between a thumb and forefinger. Gabrielle took a deep breath and wisely turned her attention back to Xena's hand, wincing when she saw the wound.
"Xena," she said quietly. "This looks really bad."
Xena looked down at her hand. There was a deep, ragged tear across her palm, it was bruised, furiously red, swollen, and it ached clear up to her shoulder. The child peered over Gabrielle's shoulder and offered a precise, if not extremely tactful, medical opinion consisting of one word; "Yu-uck."
Agreeing with, though not overly impressed with the child's summation, Gabrielle turned Xena's hand over for further examination. "By the gods, Xena. It bit clear through."
"No, it didn't," Xena stated. "Those are just teeth marks on top. It just needs some cleaning up."
The child handed Gabrielle a small leather pouch. "There's herbs and salves and such in there. You can clean it up and make a poultice."
Gabrielle and Xena both stared at her for a moment.
"What?" the child inquired of the looks.
"Nothing," Xena said.
"Where did you..." Gabrielle began.
"It's mine, I didn't steal it or anything. It's a medicine bag. My mother gave it to me," the child's voice softened, "and taught me how to use what's in it, she …"
Gabrielle looked over at Xena who was staring intently at the child. The child looked up and met Xena's eyes. "If that old boar bit you, you're a goner, ya know, it was rabid."
"Child!" Gabrielle said, aghast.
"She's right." Xena quietly confirmed. "It was."
Gabrielle returned her attention to Xena. "Well, which one bit you?"
"I'm not sure," Xena hedged. "It got kind of hectic."
"How can you be so calm about this?"
"No need getting worked up," the child answered. "There's nothing to do for rabies."
"Goner for sure," Xena agreed solemnly.
"Damstraight," the child intoned gravely.
"On the bright side, there's a whole list of people I could bite."
The child giggled, her laughter was like tiny silver bells singing in the wind.
"This isn't funny!" Gabrielle opined loudly, startling them both. "Who are you, anyway?" Gabrielle leveled a look at the child. "Do you have a name?"
"I gotta go," the child jumped to her feet with the effortless agility of the very young.
"Sorry," Xena looked sheepishly at Gabrielle.
"Hey..." Gabrielle turned, but the child was already gone.
"Honestly,'' Gabrielle huffed, and began roughly pulling things out of the medicine bag. "And what about your foot?"
"What?"
"Your foot. That was your foot stuck in the boar's mouth, was it not?"
"Didn't get to my foot, not even a scratch," Xena stated triumphantly. "I already checked."
Gabrielle looked down at Xena's boot, which was thoroughly gnawed and caked with a noxious mix of semi-dried mud, snot, blood and drool, but miraculously, mostly intact. Gabrielle looked up at her.
"Tough boots," Xena stated, trying out a tentative smile. "And," she added, "another good thing, this is the same hand that was already cut."
Gabrielle winced.
"Saves on bandages," Xena tried.
Gabrielle, unamused, turned her attention back to the task at hand.
Xena reached down and took her hand. "Gabrielle."
Gabrielle continued what she was doing using her free hand.
"Gabrielle."
"What!" she retorted angrily, directing a shimmering turquoise gaze into Xena's calm blue.
"The child, she's afraid for me, I think. It's just how she deals with it."
A muscle twitched madly in Gabrielle's jaw as she tried to hold onto her anger, if she let loose of the anger, tears would follow. Xena laid a gentle hand against Gabrielle's face. "It'll be all right."
Gabrielle nodded, swallowed the tears, and went silently to work on the wound.
"Gabrielle?"
"What?" Gabrielle answered, a bit more harshly than she intended.
"How, exactly, did you get in here?"
Gabrielle looked into her eyes again; sapphires reflected in a shaft of sunlight. "I thought it was you, I thought you brought me here."
"No."
"Well, if it wasn't you, then who- "
"I guess that would be me."
Xena had already begun to rise and turn, hand on her chakram, before the voice reached them from the doorway.
Gabrielle watched as Xena's hand dropped to her side and the muscles in her shoulders and arms relaxed. Gabrielle leaned sideways to look around her as a shadow emerged from the doorway and stepped into a shaft of bright sunlight. Gabrielle's jaw dropped as she recognized her.
"Xan!" she cried, delightedly surprised.
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Wanderer how you journey
On the road you chose
To find out why the winds die
And where their stories go.
All days come from one day
That much you must know,
You cannot change what's over
But only where you go.
-enya.
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Xandra, silvery eyes dancing, wore an infectious, ornery grin and an aura of prismatic light. Xena instinctively put a hand on Gabrielle's elbow to help her to her feet. Gabrielle stood up, hastily wrapping the blanket around her when she remembered she had nothing on beneath it, and looked around for her clothes.
A faint blush rose beneath Xan's tan as she nodded across the room toward Gabrielle's clothes, which were laid out near the fire. Gabrielle turned her head and the room tilted.
"Whoa, easy," Xan grasped her other elbow. "You okay?"
"Just a little dizzy," she answered, ducking her head for a moment.
"How many fingers?" Xan asked.
Gabrielle looked up at her. "What?"
"How many fingers do you see?"
Gabrielle narrowed her eyes, studying Xan's fisted hand for a moment. "None."
"Uh-oh," Xan looked at Xena. "This could be serious."
Gabrielle laughed, but Xan wore a look so solemn that she turned to Xena seeking a second opinion. "What do you see?"
"I see a knucklehead," Xena replied evenly, looking over Gabrielle's head at Xan. "But, that's beside the point. Are you all right?"
"Hey..." Xan sounded offended.
Gabrielle laughed again. "I'm fine... honest," Extracting herself from their grip, she went in search of her clothes. Xan watched her cross the room, her grin widening, then dissolving as she turned her head and met the heat of Xena's eyes. Xena's lips formed a slight pout and an eyebrow rose in an unspoken question. A look Xan remembered all too well.
"We were wet," Xan explained.
"Oh, really?" Xena replied, eyebrow rising higher.
"She thought I was you," Xan went on, digging herself deeper.
Xena inclined her head slightly. The other eyebrow rose to join the first as Xena's bottom lip disappeared beneath the top one.
"She was out of her head," Xan added quickly. "Delirious."
Xena's lips made a tiny popping sound as they separated, "Well, that much is obvious," she agreed.
Xan laughed and then grunted as Gabrielle reached her and wrapped her in a firm hug. Surprised and absurdly pleased, Xan closed her eyes and planted a kiss on the top of Gabrielle's head. Xena took an unobtrusive step back. Xena and Xan had a diverse and impassioned history, one that seemed to be continuously sorting itself out. Gabrielle and Xan, on the other hand, had formed a nearly instantaneous and seemingly unbreakable bond of friendship and trust, unfazed by neither time, nor distance. Whether this bond stemmed from the fact that, subconsciously, they reminded one another of the most treasured person in their lives, or whether it was something greater than that, was of no concern to them; it just, simply, was.
Gabrielle, once again, found herself at a loss for words until Xan hugged her tighter and squeezed them out of her. "By the gods, Xan, you look wonderful." And she did. Far different from the pale, wounded woman Gabrielle had bid farewell nearly a year and a half ago. She looked much the same as she had when Gabrielle first met her. Except, that is, for the haunted look lurking within the brilliance of her eyes. Her dark, sun-kissed hair curled thickly over her collar. She wore her usual array of layered clothing, giving her a deceivingly bulky, masculine appearance. Helpful for a woman traveling alone, a bit confusing for those who did not know her.
Gabrielle blushed a little, remembering how she had been fooled, at first, by Xandra's appearance. Or had she? The blush deepened at the thought; Xan gave her a beguiling grin, teeth a perfect contrast to her richly tanned skin.
"Doesn't she look great, Xena?"
"Mmm-hmm," Xena answered, sounding uninterested, but studying Xan with a critical eye.
Xandra just missed being beautiful by a nose that had been broken one too many times, and a scar that bisected her upper lip, giving a slight snarl to an otherwise perfect smile. Xena had not contributed to the broken nose effect, but the scar was her gift. It had been most brutally delivered as they had once fought for the dubious pleasure of ending one another's miserable existence.
"It was a long time ago," Xan said quietly, either reading Xena's thoughts, or voicing her own.
Xena said nothing, but her face softened.
"What?" Gabrielle asked, voice muffled near Xan's shoulder.
Xan moved her hands to Gabrielle's shoulders and gently eased her away.
"I said, it's been too long. I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too. "
Gabrielle gazed into Xan's eyes, and if the eyes truly were the windows to the soul, then that window was unguarded and open to Gabrielle at this moment. Xandra's eyes, like Xena's, were startlingly crystalline and pure at first glance. But, just for a heartbeat, Gabrielle saw that Xandra's soul, like her face, just missed being beautiful as well. Deep in a well of sorrow and pain lay a broken heart that would never fully heal and a soul that was brutally scarred. There lurked a hardness in the silvery luminous of Xan's eyes; something cold and unforgiving that was... frightening. Gabrielle shivered a little and withdrew from this alien part of Xan, back to the comforting warmth of her gaze. Here, there was love and kindness. Gabrielle found Xan looking at her strangely, and she wondered, briefly, if Xan had seen something similarly disturbing in her own eyes. Gabrielle lifted Xan's sleeve and sniffed, wrinkling her nose. "But, you still smell like horses."
Xan laughed and ruffled Gabrielle's hair. "I like the haircut," Xan stepped back, giving her an appraising glance. "And the new look," she added approvingly.
"Do you?" Gabrielle asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, yeah, it's very sexy."
"Ya think?"
"Damstraight."
Gabrielle grinned and directed a quick glance toward Xena on hearing that phrase for the second time today. Xena shook her head a little, telling her, in effect, not to mention the child. If Xan noticed this exchange, she did not acknowledge it. Gabrielle placed a hand on Xandra's shoulder. "How are you, Xan?" Where have you been, what have you been doing?"
"I'm healed, mostly," Xan replied, flexing the shoulder a bit, recognizing the significance of the placement of Gabrielle's hand.
"Though Nathan did leave me with some permanent damage there, the son of bitch." Xan's smile remained in place, the tone of her voice never changed, but Gabrielle unconsciously drew back from the cold fire in her eyes.
"Bitchin' scar, though," Xan finished, drawing a laugh from Gabrielle and a half smile from Xena.
"Where are you staying?" Gabrielle asked.
"Here, as a matter of fact, for a while anyway. There is an Amazon village not far from here. I've been looking for Ephiny." Xan shifted her gaze to Xena. Xena's face betrayed nothing, but Gabrielle noticed the change in her immediately.
Xena blinked once, very slowly, like a hawk lining up a meal. A tiny muscle twitched in her jaw and her eyes grew infinitely darker, as if filling with shadows from within. "Have you found her?" Xena asked, voice reflecting even less emotion than her face.
"No," Xan answered sadly, that one word speaking volumes.
Gabrielle stared at them both, sensing the emotion swirling around them, rising like heat from a mid-day desert. She knew, as Xena did, that Xan was not merely searching for Ephiny. She was searching for that which Xena had entrusted to Ephiny's care. Catherine; Rachel's daughter, Xena's grandchild.
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Is each of us a creature free - or trapped at birth by destiny?
-dean koontz
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The child sat beside the fire and gently stroked the old dog's head. The dog looked up at her with curious eyes; golden eyes, with tiny flecks of turquoise in the irises. The dog had seen the change of many seasons and her senses were not as sharp as they once had been. When the child first encountered her, there was a slight falter to the dog's step. And where once the animal had thrived in the winter cold, and gone positively loony in the early days of spring, now the cold and damp penetrated deeply, leaving an unpleasant ache in her bones. Though her coat was still thick and silky, her black muzzle was now suffused with gray and her once sharp eyes had begun to dim. She no longer ran with the wolves; those ultra-wild creatures who had patiently tolerated her unabashed presence, perhaps, because her ancestors had roamed this particular piece of earth for hundreds of years.
The child looked at her thoughtfully. She had found, or rather, the dog had found her, one bitter winter evening when they had both attempted to lay claim to the same sheltering cave. Fat snowflakes fell lazily, but steadily, from a midnight blue sky. A frosty full moon lit a starkly silent landscape and the icy cold turned each snowflake into a crystalline work of art. Snow covered every surface, shimmering in the moonlight like diamonds. Child and dog had eyed each other warily for a time, a frigid blast of cold wind finally forging an unspoken and uneasy truce between them. They shared the confines of the cave, a fire, and finally, a meal, which the dog provided, and the child expertly skinned, gutted and cooked.
The dog was never a constant companion, but the child would see her now and again, hear her distinctive howl, which she occasionally answered with a howl of her own. Then the dog had shown up at the cave, which the child now claimed as her own, not in the dead of winter, but in the early fall. There was something different about the animal, though she could not determine exactly what it was. She stayed closer, for one thing; the child would often wake to find the old dog staring at her, golden eyes catching the firelight and eerily holding it there long after the flames had turned to glowing embers. There was something different about those eyes. It was as if the dog were observing her, waiting for something. The child did not feel threatened, but she wasn't entirely comfortable with the animal's newfound interest in her. She began to talk to it when she was lonely or troubled, calling it Wolf only because it made the old dog grin in response.
"I'm Rhianna. Rhia, for short," she told the animal. The dog snorted delicately and feigned disinterest.
Rhianna co-inhabited with many animals, touching them when they permitted her that privilege, but she seldom named creatures of the wild, knowing that nothing wild could ever be tamed, nor could it ever be completely trusted not to eat you if it got hungry enough. So child and dog formed an alliance of sorts, built more on respect than trust. As Rhianna thought back on those days her brow wrinkled and a tiny frown pulled at the corners of her mouth.
She had been amazed when the aging dog had fought so mightily against the massive wild boar. Wolf, all fangs and attitude, seemed possessed of a superior strength and agility, one that she had not known for many years, if ever. But Wolf was old when the child met her and then...and then she wasn't. Rhia slowly turned her head and looked into the animal's burning gaze. Rhia tilted her head to the side, eliciting the exact same response from Wolf. Rhia's eyes narrowed as she stared deeply into the animal's eyes, not a very prudent thing to do if you are fond of your nose, but Rhia was past the point of conscious thought, and was acting purely on instinct. There, deep within the ebony pupil, a tiny flame danced on the currents of an unearthly zephyr.
"Who are you?" Rhia whispered to the light and darkness sharing the golden orb. And Darkness answered.
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Time, flowing like a river
Time, beckoning me
-melissa etheridge
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Xena, Gabrielle and Xandra entered the Amazon village just ahead of a storm that was building in the north. Black clouds rushed together, merged, and built towers of forbidding dark energy. Sheet lightning; silent, soft and deceptively beautiful, backlit the scene, forming eerie, yellowish-green moats around castles built of storm clouds. Xena touched Gabrielle's elbow, deftly steering her around numerous obstacles as Gabrielle stared upward, enthralled with the spectacle in the sky above. Xan, however, engrossed in the same exhibition, tripped over a small stack of wood. Gabrielle grabbed her before she fell on her face. Xan blushed slightly, a quick grin crossing her lips. "Thanks."
"No problem," Gabrielle replied, returning the smile, then moving on.
"She's something, isn't she?" Xan asked Xena. "She sure has changed. Wow," she added, giving Gabrielle an appreciative look as she walked away from them.
Xena was silent and Xan turned to face her, grin fading a bit at the look in Xena's eyes. "I mean..."
"I know what you meant," Xena gave her a look that returned the blush to her face threefold.
"I…uhm…" Xan cleared her throat and looked up. "Nasty storm coming on."
"Yes," Xena agreed. "There is."
Xan glanced at her again, wondering if they were both discussing the weather.
"I'll, uhm, just go catch up with..." Xan stood still, trying, without much success, to read Xena's eyes.
"So go," Xena told her, with a little wave of her hand.
Xan looked at Gabrielle, then back at Xena. "Well, okay, then," she replied, nearly stumbling over the same pile of wood as she tried moving toward Gabrielle without taking her eyes off Xena.
Xena lifted an eyebrow and suppressed a smile as Xan finally negotiated the woodpile. She then looked around for a familiar face among the Amazons. One finally found her and was fast approaching, wearing a big smile of her own.
"Xena!" the big Amazon wrapped her in a bone-cracking hug that drove the air from her lungs.
"Solari!" Xena whuffed back.
Solari released her and held her at arm's length. "You look wonderful! It's been too long! What are you doing here? How are you? Where's Gabrielle?"
"Thanks. You too, it has, passing through, I'm fine and she's over there."
Solari laughed, following Xena's gaze, and her smile brightened even more at the sight of Gabrielle. Gabrielle, Xena noted, often had that affect on people. Xena watched Gabrielle for a thoughtful moment. A warm sense of pride swept through her; a fierce pride commingled with an even more fervent affection, surprising her with its intensity.
"With the amazing Xandra at her side, of course," Solari added with a knowing chuckle.
Xena shifted her gaze back to Solari. "You know Xandra, then?"
"Oh, yeah. Everyone knows Xan."
Which, Xena thought to herself, is the reason we entered the village so easily.
"I'm not sure which got the girls the most excited," Solari continued. "When they found that there was a man in camp, or when they found out there wasn't!" Solari laughed uproariously over this and Xena felt herself joining in. Solari's laugh, as well as her quick wit and warm heart, were contagious. Solari's smile faltered as she looked into Xena's eyes. "I'm glad you're here, Xena, you and Gabrielle, we need you."
Xena felt a chill settle over her as Solari led the way to her hut, "Tell me."
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Three six nine
The goose drank wine
The pigs went to town
On the railroad line...
-old nursery rhyme
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Gabrielle stopped to gaze around the small Amazon encampment, giving Xan a distracted smile as she joined her. There was an undercurrent of unease here. Gabrielle did not recognize most of the Amazons in this village, though a few of them were familiar to her. Those she had met before returned her smile of recognition, most adding a respectful nod and bringing a fisted hand to their heart. Xan did not miss the tribute.
"What are you, a goddess or something?" Xan asked teasingly.
"What?"
"Well, that particular salute was definitely not meant for me."
"Or something," Gabrielle replied vaguely as a melancholy smile touched her lips; a curious mix of pride and pain. Xan felt a pull at her heart at that look.
Xan remained at Gabrielle's side as she walked slowly through the camp, merely observing all that went on around her. There were the normal activities of an Amazon camp; lookouts posted high above, warriors measuring their skills against one another. The gathering and storing of supplies. Tending of horses and livestock, cleaning and sharpening of weapons. But, in spite of the apparent normalcy, Gabrielle felt an underlying tension. Or was it merely the restless energy accompanying the impending storm?
"You feel it, don't you?" Xan asked, surprising her.
"Feel what?"
"Like something bad is about to happen and they are all waiting for it?"
"Something like that, yes."
"It's been like that since- " Xan abruptly stopped speaking. Eyes growing wide, she stepped around Gabrielle, putting Gabrielle between whatever she was looking at and herself. This was so completely out of character for the normally fearless and protective Xan, that Gabrielle's jaw dropped in surprise. Bracing herself for something truly awful, Gabrielle stopped and looked cautiously over her shoulder. She saw nothing out of the ordinary, except possibly the huge white goose that was making its resolute way toward them. "What's wrong with you?" Gabrielle asked, turning back to Xan.
"Nothing," Xan answered, standing on tiptoe and taking a quick peek over Gabrielle's head. "Oh, centaur-dung! Could we move along here, please?"
"Xan, what in the world..."
Xan suddenly drew her sword and Gabrielle stepped away from her in alarm.
"You stay away from me, you mangy, flea-bitten pile of feathers for brains!"
Gabrielle, truly fearing for Xan's sanity now, looked over her shoulder once more. The goose had reached them and was giving Xan a hard, cold look. Lowering its head, it took another step closer to them and Xan emitted a tiny squeak of dismay.
"By the gods, Xan…"
"Keep that damn thing away from me, or I swear, I'm going to behead it," Xan insisted, placing her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder and maneuvering her between herself and the circling goose.
Gabrielle hooted laugher. "A goose!? You're afraid of a goose?"
"It's not funny! That son of a bit...buh...bootstrap... is a dang menace!" Xan's tempered cursing was nothing if not inventive.
Gabrielle raised an amused eyebrow.
"I'm serious!" Xan protested, highly offended, looking indignant and sheepish at the same time. It was a look only Xan could master.
Gabrielle struggled to control her hilarity, but doing so made her chest ache and her eyes water unmercifully.
"Yah!" Xan shouted, taking a step toward the bird, trying to regain at least a shred of her dignity. The goose let loose with an angry hiss and Xan raised her sword.
"Xandra!" Gabrielle protested, still sputtering laughter. "Don't you dare!"
"But..."
"I mean it. And stop circling, you're making me dizzy."
"Okayokayokay, gods above and below," Xan muttered.
Gabrielle stared at the goose, who presented her with a woeful look and a most pitiful shiver. "Oh, now, look, Xan, you've scared it."
"Scared it my lily white ass, that thing is a..."
Gabrielle gave her a look and Xan, as usual, wasn't sure if it was for her language, her actions, or both.
"Go on, scoot," Gabrielle said, turning her attention back to the goose and giving a little shooing motion with her hand. "You're scaring my friend."
"Ha Ha," Xan said crossly, not missing the shaking of Gabrielle's shoulders as she struggled with her suppressed mirth. Xan did give her credit, though, for keeping a fairly straight face.
"What were we talking about, before we were so rudely interrupted?" Gabrielle managed, with only a trace of sarcasm. She took Xan's arm as she put her sword away.
"We were talking about..."
"Xan, honestly..." Gabrielle chided her, as Xan surreptitiously picked up a clod of dirt and threw it, managing to shower the goose with black peat as the lump exploded on the ground at its feet.
"Ha! Gottcha! Ya little- "
Gabrielle gripped Xan's arm and led her none too gently in the opposite direction. Xan took one last look over Gabrielle's shoulder and stuck out her tongue at the glaring goose. A flash of lightning and an immediate crack of thunder caused Xan to nearly leap out of her boots, therefore giving the goose, in effect at least, the last word.
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Evil is no faceless stranger..
-dean koontz.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Rhianna closed her eyes as thunder grumbled in the distance. An indecisive rain pattered the ground for a moment, then halted abruptly. The wind drew a low, deep, whistling breath, held it, then slowly exhaled. A cold rush of air snuffled its way into the cave, searching every crevice. Rhia opened her eyes, resisting the urge to look over her shoulder, as a ghostly finger of air ruffled her hair and blew an icy breath across her neck. She drew back from the fire as fading white embers grew red hot, snapping a piece of blackened wood and spewing a twirling shower of sparks into the darkness. Rhia held her breath, trying to hear past the thrumming of her heart. A command was issued. It was more allusion than actuality, felt rather than heard, there and instantly gone, a flicker of the mind, a hissing of flame.
"... home, Tessss..."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Nowhere can a secret keep always secret,
Dark and deep,
Half so well as in the past,
Buried deep to last, to last
- dean koontz
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Welcome to my home, such as it is," Solari said, pulling Xena inside as the first plump raindrops bounced across the ground. "Crazy weather. The gods must be bored. Something to eat or drink?"
"No, but thanks."
Solari studied Xena's various wounds and dressings with a respectful, yet critical eye. "Looks like you've been tangling with a bear, Xena."
"Boar, bandits, boulders and a big bloody hound."
Solari grinned. "Never a dull moment, eh?"
"Seems so."
"Anything I can do?"
Xena studied the dressing on the bite, it was seeping again, and it hurt. "Yeah, if you don't mind, Solari, this could definitely use a little attention."
"Sit down. I'll tend it while we chat."
Xena sat. Solari gathered various medicines and sat at her side, lifting an eyebrow, but saying nothing, as she undid the dressing on Xena's hand. Knowing of Xena's aversion to small talk, Solari got right to the point. "Xan came looking for Ephiny, though she never came right out and said so. I could tell she was disappointed not to find her here."
"But, Ephiny was here?"
"She passed through here less than a month ago. She came in the night, with a small hunting party. She stayed mostly alone, they moved on at dawn two mornings later."
"Did Ephiny leave any...thing here?"
Solari looked at her oddly. "Xan asked the same thing, in much the same manner."
Xena said nothing.
"No. She left as she came. Quietly, almost secretly," Solari was a master at reading people, even one as stoic and unrevealing as Xena. "If she carried anything of great value," Solari continued, lightly touching Xena's arm, "she did not leave it here, and she did not speak of it."
Xena's eyes touched Solari's in a moment of complete understanding. Solari may have guessed that Ephiny was protecting something, or someone, but she did not question her. Nor would she now question Xena. No one here knew of Xena's grandchild, no one knew that she was entrusted to Ephiny's care. Which was as it should be, but which also left many unanswered questions. Was Catherine still with Ephiny? And if not, then, where was she? Was she safe? Was she well? Was she even alive? Xena had no answers, could not even ask the questions. If Caesar even suspected that this child had survived her mother, and his own treachery, he would not rest until he hunted her down and destroyed her. For Caesar was confident that he alone controlled his destiny. He had no intention of letting this child, or Xena, change that destiny.
"Caesar is searching for you," Solari's quiet voice roused her from her reverie.
Xena looked up into Solari's soft brown eyes.
"There are rumors of a prophecy, one that foretells his demise. Have you heard of this, Xena?"
Xena closed her eyes, remembering, not wanting to, but in unguarded moments it all came rushing back. Rachel, with her ancient young eyes and beautiful sad smile, Rachel; her daughter.
"There is a prophecy." Rachel explained, "A prophecy which, presumably, foretells Caesar's true destiny. A destiny far different from the one he visualizes. This is a vision of absolute destruction, to be brought about by someone very close to him. The prophecy provides three clues to the identity of the person, or persons, who will bring Caesar to ruin; it will be someone he once trusted, someone who once trusted him, or someone of his own blood. Most think that the combination of these things will be the catalyst for his ultimate demise."
Rachel stared intently at Xena who said nothing, lost in her own thoughts, focused on memories past, until Rachel's gentle voice brought her abruptly back. "I know you are my mother, Xena, and I know your history with Caesar."
Xena's eyes widened in shock as she connected this last with the words of the prophecy, "And what, Rachel?" Xena demanded, "You think Caesar is your father!? And this child..."
"Knowing your history with Caesar," the sound of Solari's voice jarred Xena once more into the present. "We were not surprised to learn that he has been quietly searching for you, you and Gabrielle.
Xena looked sharply toward her, "Gabrielle?"
"Yes. And another thing..." Solari hesitated, wondering if Xena was listening, for her eyes had taken on a faraway look.
"What else?" Xena asked her.
"Roman troops have entered Amazon lands," Solari continued.
"Roman troops? For what purpose?"
"Why does Rome do anything?" Solari said bitterly. "Probably because that crazy, beguiling bastard who would rule the known world tells them to. I have heard that they are taking slaves, damn thier souls."
"Slaves?" that doesn't sound like Caesar, what possible use could he have for Amazon slaves?"
Solari shrugged and shook her head; she had no answer. "Best keep an eye on that," she advised, giving Xena's hand a tender squeeze as she began putting away her medicines.
"I will, thanks," Xena brought her hands to her face, wearily rubbing her eyes and drawing a deep breath. She held that breath for a long moment before relinquishing it.
"You are troubled?" Solari whispered.
Xena met her gaze over tented fingers.
"So am I," Solari admitted with a sigh. "So are we all."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You know I've seen it before
This mist that covers your eyes
You've been looking for something
That's not in your life
My intentions are true
Won't you take me with you
-melissa etheridge
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Rhia watched with terrible fascination as the old dog's ears twitched toward a sound that only she perceived. Tiny pinpoints of light reflected hot and bright in the dog's eyes. A tiny breeze tiptoed past the child causing the light to flicker, both outside the cave and deep within the dog's eyes. Rhia reached out with a tentative hand and touched her head. "Hey, old dog..." she whispered carefully.
The dog, unblinking, regarded her with grave concern for a long moment. The animal's eyes grew unbearably heavy, their brilliance slowly fading; daylight seeping into twilight. The eyes closed on a weary sigh as the dog's breathing slowed and deepened. Rhia laid her head on its side, listening to the slowing cadence of its diminishing heartbeat. An ephemeral lament drifted around them like smoke, suspended like a ghost in the clear, cold air. A mournful howl sounded outside the cave, joined by several more. The dog, feet already in motion, receded with only a tiny whimper of regret and a single tear as the spirit heeded that timeless call and sought the inherit freedom of all things wild.
"You run, now," Rhianna gently urged. "You run..."
The heartbeat quickened, triumphant, strong and steady, like muted thunder in her ears. It faded slowly, peacefully receding, then stopped altogether. Rhia cried then, tears of joy for the dog, eternally young now, as she rejoined the welcoming pack, in spirit, if not in body. And tears of loss, for part of her heart went, too, and she was filled with a nameless yearning; aching, unquenchable, and soul deep.
"I want to go home," she whispered. "Can you take me home?"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
We have a weight to carry
And a distance we must go.
We have a weight to carry,
A destination we can't know.
-dean koontz
Xan found Xena and Gabrielle talking quietly beneath the low, sheltering branches of an ancient tree. A rickety wooden fence leaned drunkenly forward to eavesdrop, crisscrossing them with pale blue shadow in the early morning light. The wind swept through, immersing them beneath a tide of crimson leaves, which was as unsettling as it was beautiful. Gabrielle gently took Xena's hand and lightly ran her fingers over the bandage covering it. Xena nodded at some question Gabrielle posed, lifting an eyebrow as Gabrielle pressed a light kiss against the dressing. Xan hesitated, watching them, not wanting to intrude on their quiet time, yet unable to turn away.
Gabrielle laughed, brushing leaves from Xena's hair. Xena smiled, a smile that transformed her from lion to lamb, a smile that, as far as Xan knew, was reserved exclusively for Gabrielle. And hidden within that smile lurked a ghost from Xan's past; it was Rachel's smile. Xan had, at first, thought Rachel so unlike her mother and yet, in many respects, they were exactly the same.
Xena, sensing Xan's presence, looked over at her. Those penetrating blue eyes, considerably softened, no doubt, by Gabrielle's proximity, caught Xan by surprise. In that unguarded moment Xan marveled at the power in that gaze. And in the utter stillness of her mind, a phantom softly called her name. Xan closed her eyes, biting back a sudden rush of tears. "Rachel..." she whispered, answering the call unaware.
Xan opened her eyes to find Gabrielle walking slowly toward her.
"Xan?"
Xan swiped a sleeve across her face, a habit Gabrielle would forever associate with her. "Sorry," Xan apologized. "I didn't mean to intrude."
"It's all right," Gabrielle assured her. "Going on a picnic?" she asked, noting the basket in Xan's hand, the blanket thrown over her shoulder.
"I...uhm, I threw a few things together. There's an abandoned temple not far from here. One of Artemis', I think. I wondered if maybe you...both of you, might want to..."
"Sounds interesting."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Why don't you wait here, I'll go get my coat in case the weather decides to change again."
"Okay."
Xan watched her walk away, then moved to sit beside Xena. They sat in silence for a while, Xena sharpening her sword, Xan staring at the ground.
"I wanted to thank you, Xan, for pulling Gabrielle out of that river."
Xan looked up at her, Xena's eyes never left her sword. "No thanks necessary."
Xena paused in her task for a moment. "If you hadn't been there..."
"It was nothing, really."
"Uh-huh," Xena reached over and ran a finger along Xan's jaw, a darkening bruise was just barely noticeable beneath her tan.
Xan winced and rubbed her jaw. "The mini-bard packs quite a punch."
"Gabrielle did that?" Xena smiled a little and went back to her sword-sharpening.
"Yep, she sure did," Xan noted Xena's smile and added, "I guess she wasn't too happy with me pushing her under."
Xena stopped, looked up and turned a puzzled gaze in Xan's direction. "What did you say?" there went the smile...
"Well, I met this young man once, in Thessaly, on my way to Athens?" Xan looked questioningly at Xena. One eyebrow rose, but Xena said nothing. "Anyway," Xan went on, "he was a healer, a philosopher, wrote some pretty amazing stuff. He wrote about this technique he had seen, this mouth to mouth thing. I figured I could test it out on Gabrielle," Xan wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "But she came up sputtering and spitting like a beached trout, so I gave her a shove back under and- "
Xena gave Xan a firm shove off the log she was sitting on. "Idiot," Xena muttered.
Xan laughed heartily as she picked herself up. Xena shook her head and turned her attention back to her sword. Xan chuckled for a bit, squirming some on the log; Xena's shove had lodged a splinter somewhere in the seat of her pants. She settled, finally, into a pensive silence, thinking thoughts of long ago. She watched as the wind left footprints across a small meadow and disappeared into the forest. The air was crisp, alive, yet permeated by the smell of fallen leaves; such was the paradox of autumn. The smell and feel of fall always made Xan nostalgic for things remembered, and those nearly forgotten. It carved a hollow void within, into which sifted countless memories of those who were now just that; memories and nothing more. God, it made her lonely.
Xena's sword sounded a silvery ting and Xan started a bit as Xena set it aside.
"I'm sorry, Xan."
Xena's voice was so soft and gentle, Xan thought she imagined it. Xan transferred her gaze from the horizon to the infinitely more engaging view of Xena's blue eyes. "Did you say something?"
"I never got the chance to tell you. I'm sorry about Rachel."
Xan always felt vaguely uneasy when Xena read her thoughts like that, another thing mother and daughter had in common.
"It wasn't your fault," Xan replied, looking away.
"Nor was it yours."
Xan shook her head and said nothing. Xena picked up her sword and sheathed it, both were thinking that the other was wrong.
Xena looked over at her. "You must miss her terribly."
"Every moment, of every day," Xan whispered, shifting her gaze back to Xena's. The blue eyes shimmered, darkened, liquefied into pools of iridescent blue, Xan was effortlessly drawn into their depths. "I thought I couldn't go on living without her. I didn't want to," Xan went on, half mesmerized by Xena's gaze.
"But you did."
Xan pulled her eyes away. "Depends on what you mean by living."
Xena was silent.
"She gave my life meaning and joy," Xan glanced at her, then quickly away. "She was...special. So very special."
"I know. "
Xan looked over at her, Xena stared at something far away, then, so softly Xan nearly missed it; "She called out for you, Xan," Xena turned her head toward Xan, some quirk of the light, or perhaps the mind, transformed her eyes from sapphire to emerald. "Your name was on the last breath she took."
Xan bowed her head. Xena looked away as Xan gave herself over to tears. It was one thing Xena had always respected, maybe even envied, about Xan; she cried when she needed to. Xena never viewed it as a sign of weakness about Xan, it was, in fact, quite the opposite. They sat in silence for a while. They were always comfortable within their silences; one of the many things they shared so long ago. Lifetimes ago, or so it seemed.
"You're more than a little concerned about Gabrielle, aren't you? Afraid of losing her somehow?" Xan broke the silence with a question that was unsettling in its intuitiveness.
Xena shifted her gaze back to Xan, apparently two could play at this mind reading game. "I'm afraid she's losing herself."
"Is she?"
Xena took a deep breath, looked away again. "It's complicated, difficult; accepting who you are, what you are becoming. Sometimes, it...distracts her."
"And that's very dangerous. For both of you," Xan stated.
"Yes," Xena agreed. "It is."
"There's something more," Xan was keenly perceptive, as always.
Xena's eyes flicked back to Xan's. And just for a moment Xena's mind seemed to fold in on itself, presenting her a nightmarish image of blood and pain and death. A cold, blue emptiness surrounded her and eclipsing it all; the shadow of a cross on snow-covered ground.
"Xena?" Xan touched her hand. It felt lifeless and cold and matched perfectly the look in her eyes. "Xena." Xan leaned closer, concerned now.
Xena blinked and leaned away from her.
"Don't lose her, Xena," Xan insisted. "Hold onto her with everything you've got. Don't let anything, or anyone, come between you."
"She's coming," Xena said, recovering herself. But not before Xan caught a glimpse of something in her eyes that she had never seen there before. Fear; pure and absolute.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Once, as my heart remembers,
All the stars were fallen embers.
Once, when night seemed forever
I was with you. -enya
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Xena decided not to join them on the outing, preferring instead to give Argo a thorough brushing and perhaps spend some time talking with some of the other Amazons in camp. Watching them walk away gave her an odd feeling of aloneness. She watched as Xan leaned close and said something that made Gabrielle laugh out loud. Gabrielle punched her arm and Xan fell dramatically to the ground. Gabrielle nudged her with her foot and Xan grabbed her ankle, nearly upending her. Xena smiled ruefully, and found herself feeling just a tinge of jealousy. Argo nudged her from behind and snorted in her ear.
"Hey," Xena admonished, turning and briskly rubbing Argo's nose. "You should talk, you dumped me for an apple, remember?"
Argo denied all knowledge of such a thing and stepped on Xena's foot for good measure.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The hike to the old temple was fairly long, but the weather held and the day was pleasant. A cloudless sky, blue and immense, stretched out before them, a perfect backdrop for what remained of the still brilliant colors of late fall. The temple itself was falling to ruin. Surprised, Gabrielle wondered aloud why this was so.
"Maybe Artemis has fallen from grace in this part of the country," Xan suggested.
"She won't be pleased by this."
Xan shrugged and started up the long, narrow stairway. Xan, like Xena, was seldom impressed by what did, or did not, please the gods. Gabrielle followed in Xan's footsteps as she sidestepped the worst of crumbling stone. They crossed a small corridor, passing quickly beneath an enormous arch in worse disrepair than the stairway. Xan walked through the doorway and Gabrielle followed after taking an uneasy look over her shoulder. The inside was dusty and shadowed, full of broken statues and pottery. The roof was cracked and part of it had collapsed to the floor below, destroying the altar as it fell.
"What a mess," Xan observed, voice hushed, less in reverence, Gabrielle suspected, than in fear of anything louder bringing the rest of the ceiling down on top of them.
"I don't think we should go too far inside."
"Uh-huh, think you're right," Xan agreed.
They spread the blanket just inside the door and Gabrielle opened the basket, stomach growling noisily. "I missed breakfast." Gabrielle explained, at Xan's look.
Xan cast a wary eye on her midsection. "Mmm. I think it's alive."
Gabrielle laughed. "Yeah, and it's hungry!" she added dramatically.
The basket held fruit, cheese, bread and a small corked jug.
"Wine?" Gabrielle inquired.
"Nope. Better than wine."
Gabrielle, experiencing a moment of total recall, warily eyed the jug. She remembered the last time they were together, Xan had contributed some sweet smelling 'weeds' to kindle their campfire and the ensuing smoke had rendered them both uninhibited and higher than Xena's flying parchment.
Xan gave her a sheepish grin, blushing a deep red, experiencing her own moment of deja vu, no doubt. "It's good, honest," Xan promised. "It's not exactly mead or wine. Here, take a small sip and it will warm you right up."
Gabrielle, mentally throwing caution to the wind, as usual, where Xan was concerned, pulled the cork, upended the jug and took a drink. The liquid, as promised, went down smoothly warm. At least it did at first. Then it hit her stomach like a bolt of lightning and kicked like an irate mule. Gabrielle sucked in a gigantic and totally involuntary gasp of air and choked, eyes watering, her throat on fire. Xan deftly liberated the jug from her hand, downed a quick drink, and pounded Gabrielle on the back, all in one graceful move.
"It's good, isn't it? Takes a little getting used to, though." Xan belatedly informed her, shuddering magnificently, as the liquid infused her insides with a delicious rush of scathing white heat.
Gabrielle, who had yet to exhale, placed a hand over her stalled heart.
"I got it from these farmers outside Athens," Xan continued, oblivious to Gabrielle's respiratory malfunction. "They have this remarkable setup, all these tubes and steaming vats and fermenting goop..."
"By the Ga...HA...od's !" Gabrielle gasped. Xan, for whatever reason, had given her a solid thump between the shoulder blades, thereby forcing air from her frozen lungs and re-animating her stunned heart.
Xan took another sip and handed the jug back to her. Gabrielle's bewildered brain, on temporary hiatus, deferred to a lower authority; reflex, which suggested she take another sip, which she did. This time the lightning merely tingled and the kick was somewhat blunted; a lesser mule, with cotton feet. The third sip produced a pleasantly mellow glow.
"Whoa," Gabrielle stated somewhat breathlessly after the next sip, and hiccuped, finally drawing Xan's full attention, such as it was.
"Hey," Xan began, with a narrow look, reaching for the jug. "Maybe you shouldn't- "
Gabrielle turned her head away and tipped the jug once more, putting another good-sized dent in the contents therein.
"Whadizzistuff?" Gabrielle asked, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.
Xan gave her a goofy grin, which Gabrielle returned with a demure little smile of her own. Though, from the startled look on Xan's face and the widening of her silvery eyes, Gabrielle suspected she might have put a bit too many teeth into it for demure. Demented was actually the word that crossed Xan's mind. They stared at each other for a moment and then giggled.
Uh-oh, whispered that little voice of reason in the back of Gabrielle's mind. Unheeding, Gabrielle reached for the jug, and Xan, thinking that Gabrielle had probably more than surpassed her limit, gallantly downed what was left.
"Huh...ey," Gabrielle said, with a hiccup that transcended into a truly splendid belch. "'Oh! 'Scuse me," Her hand attempted a politely well intentioned gesture to cover her mouth, but stopped halfway, having suddenly lost interest in where it was going and why.
"You okay?" Xan asked, stifling a belly laugh and trying to focus on Gabrielle's eyes, which doubled, then tripled, then cycloped into one. Which was kind of a scary thing, when Xan thought about it.
Gabrielle took a deep breath, began to get up, and sat down hard as the room tilted at an impossible angle. "I'n fime just," she replied. "And me?" she asked, laying her hand on Xan's chest.
"I'm fime...uh, fine, too," Xan assured her, reaching out to touch Gabrielle's remarkable solitary eye, her irrepressible curiosity having overridden her initial apprehension.
Gabrielle looked up, uncomfortably cross-eyed, at Xan's finger resting in the middle of her forehead. Annoyed, she began slapping at the offending finger. She missed, but Xan got the message and obligingly removed it. Gabrielle's head, bereft of the supporting digit, slowly dropped forward onto Xan's shoulder and after a moment, the rest of her languidly followed suit. Xan, deciding that this felt very nice indeed, decided to let nature take its course. Xan never could quite remember how long they stayed like that, she later recalled snatches of conversation, some laughter, some tears, some soul searching, perhaps? She did, with perfect recall, remember gently, albeit reluctantly, gripping Gabrielle's shoulders, finally, and pushing her away. Gabrielle gazed into Xandra's guileless pale eyes for a long moment before laying a hand gently against her face. Xan stared back, and experienced the peculiar sensation that Gabrielle could read her eyes as effortlessly as a well-known scroll. Suddenly, feeling far too exposed under her gaze, Xan looked away. Whatever Gabrielle had seen there moved her enough to close her eyes, lean forward, and place a gentle kiss on Xan's lips, startling Xan almost sober.
"I'm tired, Xandra..." Gabrielle whispered, leaning against Xan's shoulder once again.
Xan merely nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She located the blanket, unfolded it behind her, and lay back. Gabrielle followed her motion and fell instantly asleep with her head still resting on Xan's shoulder and her hand thrown carelessly across her chest. Xan lay awake, staring at cold sunlight spilling narrow paths of gold through cracks in the broken ceiling above. She noticed a slight trembling in Gabrielle's hand and, thinking she was cold, covered it with her own. Gabrielle stirred and mumbled something in her sleep.
"What?" Xan whispered, close to her ear.
"...I love you, Zuh...nuhm," Gabrielle muttered again. Snuggling closer, she began to snore lightly. Leaving Xan to wonder whose name Gabrielle had spoken, whose name she wished she had spoken, afraid to ask, and even more afraid to know.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
If the best laid plans
Go suddenly awry
One can safely assume
There'll be you and I
-pw
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A scratching noise, followed by stealthy movement at her feet, brought Gabrielle half awake. She opened her eyes, conscious of a raging thirst surpassed only by the angry pounding in her muzzled head. It took her several moments to remember where she was and with whom. Gingerly lifting her head from Xan's shoulder, she looked down toward her feet. Something dark receded into the shadows, bringing Gabrielle instantly and fully awake. Gabrielle touched Xan's hand, which was resting on the hilt of her sword lying beside them.
"What is- " Xan began.
"Ssh," Gabrielle silenced her.
They listened carefully into the silence surrounding them. The sun had moved to the far west, casting diminishing light and lengthy shadows inside the temple. Birds, sounding oddly discordant, chittered outside. The wind hummed a mournful tune somewhere above their heads. Xan sat up slowly at Gabrielle's side as they studied the shadows. Something a shade darker than the dark stared back and moved forward, obsidian eyes gleaming in the half-light.
Xan's eyes widened. "Zeus'-naked-butt-on-an-outhouse-throne!" she exclaimed, leaping to her feet, Gabrielle's arm in one hand, sword and coat in the other. "Come on come on!" Xan yelped, backpedaling furiously and pulling Gabrielle to her feet, or rather, off of them, since Gabrielle was already standing. Gabrielle, brain still issuing muddled commands at best, miraculously got her feet beneath her. She snorted laughter at the image of Zeus' naked butt anywhere and finally registered the black creature, white striped tail held ominously high, rushing rapidly toward them. She bolted for the door. Gabrielle and Xan reached said door at the exact same instant and stuck there; two panicked peas in a wooden pod. Xan swore creatively. Gabrielle, ever resourceful, reached over, shoved her hand down the back of Xan's pants and pushed back hard.
"EEEE!" Xan screeched, staggering backward from either the effect of Gabrielle's cold hand down her pants, or losing precious ground. Perhaps both.
Gabrielle popped out the doorway like a cork from a bottle and hit the narrow, crumbling stairs at a dead run. Xan shot a panicked look over her shoulder, catapulted through the doorway and leapt across the portico. She landed half a dozen steps down, fell on her ass, and began a swift descent downward. Two more jarring steps and she caught up with Gabrielle, who ended up in her lap. Xan outdid herself on the way down, not only in sheer howling volume, but also with a vast array of improbable, not to mention physically impossible, curses. Gabrielle held on for dear life. Bumping, grinding and sliding their way downward, they ended up in a tangled heap of arms and legs at the bottom. All was silent, save for the pattering sound of loose shale hitting Gabrielle's back. Gabrielle's coat slithered by, giving them both another start. Gabrielle lifted her aching head and immediately ducked, pushing Xan's head down as well. Xan swore as her forehead bounced off the bottom step and looked up in time to see her sword come rushing down, bottom out with a sharp clang! inches from Gabrielle's nose and sail over them; a fleeting, silver-red streak in the sunset.
"By-the-gods-sonofaBITCHIN-Bacchus-bastard-BITCHES!" Gabrielle hissed.
Xan, shocked utterly speechless, stared at her in solemn awe. Gabrielle sniffed, grimaced, and wrinkled her nose in disgust. Maneuvering herself clumsily to her feet, she stared back up the stairway. The skunk, tail still held menacingly high, stared back. Seemingly satisfied with the outcome, it haughtily turned its back on them and disappeared into the temple. It then took an unexpected and abrupt detour as it shied away from the dark-hooded figure standing just inside the doorway.
"ISH ISH ISH! Is it gone? Did it get us? Where did it go??!!" Xan prattled fearfully, sniffing at her shirtsleeve.
"Yes, and yes, it a little bit did...get us...some, did got us a little bit some and..." Gabrielle shook her head and shut her mouth, thus halting the flow of scattered words that had jolted themselves loose during the fall and refused to assemble themselves into any kind of sensible order.
Xan looked up at her, wisely keeping her own mouth shut, and got painfully to her feet. Limping about, muttering another string of curses under her breath, she rubbed her bruised backside while collecting Gabrielle's coat and her own sword.
Terrorized by a goose and now a skunk, Xan thought to herself, gods, could this just get any more embarrassing?
Torn, battered and defeated, each lost in their own deep thoughts, they made their way back to the village. While Gabrielle contemplated ways to win bloodless battles with legions of trained skunks and deranged rabbits, Xan tried to think of ways to ask for a butt massage without seeming lecherous. Several curious Amazons, noses twitching, gave them a long look and wide berth as they passed by. Even the goose from Tartarus took one menacing step toward Xan, lifted its head, immediately had second thoughts and waddled off in the opposite direction.
"See there?" Xan retorted, with a grim smile and a nod toward the retreating goose. "Something good comes of everything."
The combination of Gabrielle's look and the sight of Xena, arms crossed in front of her, leaning against tree a few feet away, erased the smile and sent Xan in the opposite direction as well. Gabrielle watched Xan go and turned to find Xena standing directly in front of her. With one eyebrow raised above an amused blue eye, Xena casually placed a strategic hand over her nose and mouth.
"Not a word," Gabrielle warned. "Not one, single, solitary word."
Xena had to bite her tongue, but none was forthcoming.
After a long soak in tubs filled with steaming hot water and a mixture of herbs, roots and other mysterious items, Xan and Gabrielle emerged smelling strongly of wintergreen and vaguely, Gabrielle swore, of tomatoes. Which made her hungry. She had missed breakfast, lunch and dinner. Xan sniffed suspiciously at her arm and Solari assured her she smelled good enough to eat. Xan blushed to the tips of her ears and Gabrielle's stomach growled ominously. Xena brought clean clothes and informed them that the clothes they had been wearing had been unsalvageable and disposed of ...burnt.
Xan lamented the loss of another of her favorite shirts. This was getting to be a habit where Gabrielle was concerned.
Gabrielle sighed resignedly and swore to herself never again to eat, drink or inhale anything Xan offered her. After a hot meal and some minor medical treatment, they retired to their respective bedrolls. Xan off to her hut with the hole in the roof, Gabrielle and Xena under a lean-to, since the weather was holding.
Xena propped herself up on one elbow and looked down at Gabrielle, who was lying on her side with her back toward Xena. "I don't know why you're mad at me," Xena spoke into the semi-darkness.
"I'm not mad at you."
"Ah."
"I'm just ...tired."
"Long day," Xena stated.
"Very long day," Gabrielle agreed.
Xena was silent.
"Do I smell skunkish?" Gabrielle asked, a few moments later.
"No," Xena replied, briefly pressing her lips together to suppress a chuckle. "But, you have a tavernish smell about you, what were you two drinking?"
"I don't know," Gabrielle answered somewhat testily. "Something Xan brought."
"You should know better."
Gabrielle thought about that and laughed a little. "I guess I should."
Xena moved closer and began massaging her neck; Gabrielle melted into her touch. "Mmmm, that feels really good," Gabrielle murmured sleepily.
"You like Xan a lot, don't you? Skunk attacks and all?"
"Mmm-hmm."
Xena smiled, Gabrielle was sinking fast. In a few moments Gabrielle was snoring softly and Xena's smile slowly faded as she stared down at her. Brushing back a strand of still damp hair, Xena pressed a light kiss to Gabrielle's temple and lay back. A very short time later, she felt Gabrielle turn toward her. Her arm slipped around Xena's waist and her head found its way to her shoulder, a perfect fit beneath her chin. Gabrielle sighed contentedly as Xena whispered something close to her ear. Xena smiled at her reply; all was good and as it should be in the universe. For the time being, at least.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Hell hath no fury...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The morning, again, dawned unseasonably warm and pleasant. The sun made its appearance, a smudge of umber followed by a brilliant slash of scarlet against a turquoise sky. It ducked behind an ethereal mountain range of deep blue clouds, edging them with silver and gold. A balmy breeze gently scattered lingering remnants of mist, which, in turn, magically sprinkled minute rainbows in their eddying wake. Xena glanced over at Gabrielle, who was still asleep by the fire, only the top of her blonde head visible above the blankets. Xena found herself wishing that she had remained at Gabrielle's side a bit longer so they might have shared the painted sunrise. If she could have awoken Gabrielle to see it, that is. She shook her head a little, wondering at her sudden sentimentalism.
"Wait," Xan's voice emerged softly from the morning fog.
Xena turned toward her with a questioning look.
"You were going to wake her, weren't you? Give a yell, or something?"
Xena didn't bother to deny the statement.
"You should learn to be a bit more sensitive, show a little tenderness, you know what I mean?"
"I'm sure you are going to tell me," Xena replied, crouching down, now near the fire.
"Look how serene, how peaceful she is. A beautiful, sleeping lady," Xan nodded toward Gabrielle, who uttered a distinctly UNladylike snort in her sleep as she burrowed deeper under the blankets.
Xena raised an eyebrow and Xan had the grace to look sheepish for a moment.
"She's not much on morning," Xena stated.
"Well, maybe you could do something to make waking up more pleasurable."
Xena gave her an odd look.
"May I?" Xan asked.
"Be my guest."
Xan bent down and ladled a cup of cool water into a cup. "I always wake up thirsty, don't you? It's nice to have someone- " She looked over at Xena, who was stirring the fire with a stick, trying not to tip over, or scorch her fingers on the pot in it's midst. Xan pointedly cleared her throat, bringing Xena's eyes, if not her full attention, back to the matter at hand.
"Watch and learn, Xena, watch and learn."
"Oh, I'm all eyes," Xena replied, giving Xan an inscrutable look.
Xan threw her a look and moved quietly to Gabrielle's side. Xan was quiet as a cat, Xena had to give her that. On further reflection, Xena realized that this might prove to be quite educational at that. She sat back, spellbound, as Xan bent down and gripped the blanket covering Gabrielle. Xena watched with interest as Gabrielle tensed slightly, hand moving from beneath the blanket, instinctively searching for her phantom staff. Gabrielle often slept like the dead, but the many years spent with Xena on their often-treacherous journeys had honed her instincts considerably.
"Uh, Xan..."
"Ssssh!" Xan shot back over her shoulder, releasing the blanket as Gabrielle turned over once again.
Xena shushed. Xan, once again, gripped the blanket with gentle fingers. Xena's attention was suddenly captured by the appearance of a snow-white demon with orange feet who had now entered the picture, stage left.
Ooooo, this outta be good, Xena thought to herself, a malicious little grin curving her lips.
Xan peeled the blanket back with utmost care and leaned over further, bending close to Gabrielle's ear. Xena, meanwhile, totally appreciated the inescapable and undeniable draw Xan's backside presented. She watched with acute interest as the white-feathered, vengeance-minded menace waddled toward it at breakneck speed.
"Gabrie-"
To give credit where credit is due, Xena noted that somewhere in mid-sensuous whisper, Xan realized that something was afoot. Or awaddle, whichever. Xan lifted her head a little just as the unerring and unstoppable clamping beak met its desired destination and twisted with unspeakable force.
"EEEEEYYYOOWWWEEE-SON-OF-A-DAMN-BANSHEEBITCH!!!"
"Wow," Xena whispered reverently at Xan's lyrical flow of curses.
So many things happened at once that Xena was on sensory overload trying to take it all in. The only thing she clearly remembered later was thinking, Now, that's gotta hurt, several times in quick succession. Gabrielle's head came up like a catapult in response to Xan's unearthly scream. Ice cold water dumped on her bare midsection rudely shocked her into total wakefulness. Xena winced as Gabrielle's head connected with Xan's chin with an audible crack! Gabrielle grabbed her forehead with both hands and went down like a felled tree. Xan let loose another amazing barrage of obscenities while falling over backward directly onto the squawking goose. Said goose took major offense, at either the language, or Xan's intrusion of her personal space. Taking careful aim, she thrummed a measured tattoo thawck-thwack-thwackthwackthwack-THWOCK! against Xan's skull.
Xan scrambled wildly to her feet, a murderous rage seething in her now blazing silver eyes. Another "Ooooo" of awe emerged from Xena's rounded lips. Gabrielle had begun to gather her wits around a knot of screaming pain on her forehead. Gingerly massaging the lump, she raised up slowly on one elbow. The now wisely high-tailing-it goose used her gut for a springboard as it leaped into the air for takeoff.
"Ugnh!" Gabrielle huffed.
"UGNH!!!!!" Xan screamed, making a huge lunge at white tail feathers. She probably would have had them, too, had she not lost her footing on a rather noxious and slip-slidey parting gift from her nemesis. Xena wondered if the puddled offering was intentional-Surely not, but then again- or a purely conditioned reflex while being pursued by a clearly demented human. Xan went down rather marvelously, an awe-inspiring dance of flailing arms and legs that would have rendered tribal dancers everywhere speechless with admiration. Unfortunately, she landed smack atop Gabrielle, ending up in a somewhat compromising, and, Xena thought wistfully, altogether enviable, position. As Xan pushed herself up, utilizing a rather poor choice of Gabrielle's anatomy for leverage, Gabrielle reacted by elbowing her smartly in the nose.
"Yowth!" Xan cried, falling over backward once more and covering her throbbing nose with both hands. Xena's hands unconsciously mimicked Xan's.
"Whuddaell ewnu nat dor, Nabbielle!!?? then, eyes growing wide, awestruck, no doubt, by her new speech impediment. "NAMMID-NALL-NINNY-NAY!!"
"What?!" Gabrielle's voice leapt an incredulous three or four octaves.
No one employed the word "What" quite as effectively as Gabrielle, Xena mused, getting to her feet. "She said, what the heck did you do that for, darn it all any way," Xena replied, cleaning up the translation and holding out a hand to Xan.
Xan angrily grabbed Xena's hand and pulled herself to her feet. Gabrielle absently shook out tingling fingers on one hand, and rubbed her aching head with the other.
"Are you all right?" Xena asked Gabrielle.
"I hit my that little bone in my elbow. Geeze, that hurts like crazy," Gabrielle replied, still shaking out her hand.
"Nuuuu... duboor iddle ding, natz yust derabull!" Xan; positively oozing sarcasm, if not English.
Gabrielle's jaw dropped as she looked to Xena for a translation
"You poor little thing, that's just terrible," Xena supplied. "But I don't think she means it," she added in a conspiratorial whisper close to Gabrielle's ear.
"What's in Zeus' name is wrong with you!?" Gabrielle glowered suspiciously up at Xan from beneath a rising purple ridge above her eye. "Have you been drinking that stuff again?"
"I mit my nam dung, nammit!!" Xan railed down at her, turning and spitting a glob of blood off to the side.
"She bit her tongue," Xena translated, in answer to Gabrielle's look of astonished mystification. Xena placed a hand over her own mouth, partly in sympathy, mostly to hide her barely suppressed hilarity.
"UND!" Xan suddenly yelped, causing Gabrielle to jump. "I dink ew boke ny nodse!!!"
"By the gods, Xandra!" Gabrielle hissed in disgusted exasperation, leaning away as Xan leaked little droplets of blood on her.
"By the gods, Xandra," Xena translated, straight-faced, to Xan's incredulous look.
"Doh, ni erd dutnee ned!! Oleygrap! PUH!"
Gabrielle and Xena both flinched from the puh-spray. And with that, Xan turned and strode away with much spitting of blood and swearing, all while absently rubbing her left cheek where a great welt of goose-bite throbbed unmercifully.
"She heard what you said," translation, again, to Gabrielle. "You know, I'm really kind of surprised you can't understand her, seeing as how you- " Xena stopped at Gabrielle's warning look; probably not a good time to remind her about her own self-induced linseed root affliction of numb tongue.
"Oley grap?" Gabrielle queried.
"Holy crap?" Xena suggested.
"Ah...well, puh to her, too."
Xena chuckled and bent over Gabrielle. Taking a quick glance over her shoulder at her exposed backside, she then wisely shifted position, crouching down instead. She brushed Gabrielle's hair back and gingerly touched the purpling knot on her forehead.
"Ow!"
"Wow. Looks like an overripe plum. Pretty."
Gabrielle winced and slapped her hand away like she was shooing flies.
"Better get a cold cloth on that, you're probably going to have one heckofva shiner."
"Wonderful."
Xena's toothy grin withdrew in self-defense at the not amused look in Gabrielle's watery green eyes. And Xena wisely withdrew herself, busily soaking a cloth for Gabrielle's forehead with icy cold water from the well.
"Xena?"
"Hmmmm?"
"What in Tartarus just happened?"
"A valuable lesson. Several, in fact. Do you have any blank scrolls lying around? I really think you ought to write it all down."
"What?"
"Let sleeping bards lie? Hades hath no fury like a goose scorned?"
Gabrielle's eyes narrowed dangerously.
Xena also had a suggestion for the skunk tale, but decided not to push her luck.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Forever searching,
Never right...
I am lost in oceans of night...
Forever hoping I can find memories,
Those memories I left behind
-enya
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"How's the head?" Xena asked from atop Argo, as Gabrielle fell in step beside her.
"Better than Xan's, " Gabrielle replied.
"She'll be all right. Besides, she's enjoying the attention." Xena inclined her head toward a group of concerned Amazons surrounding the wounded warrior. Gabrielle laughed a little and received an answering smile from Xena.
"You sure you feel up to this?" Xena asked.
"I'm fine. A slight headache is all."
"I'm not surprised," Xena sympathized, biting the inside of her lip before she lost control and began to laugh. She wasn't quite sure if Gabrielle had yet begun to see the humor in the situation. She glanced over and found Gabrielle staring at her with an altogether too knowing look. Gabrielle knew her way too well. "Want to ride?"
Gabrielle held out a hand and Xena assisted her up, feeling absurdly delighted and content as Gabrielle settled in behind her. Very seldom in her indiscriminate past had Xena found herself feeling as she did now; good, extremely good in fact, happy and at peace. Gabrielle's arms slid around her waist, tightening in a brief hug and Xena found herself hoping that Gabrielle felt the same. >From the satisfied sigh Gabrielle uttered as she leaned close against Xena's back, she surmised that she did.
Having not found Ephiny, or Catherine, at the Amazon village, and unable to get the unusual child out of her mind, Xena decided to go back and look for her. Gabrielle, equally intrigued, hadn't argued.
"Do you think we can find her?" Gabrielle asked.
"I think if we go back to the cave, she'll find us."
"You're worried about her."
"No, not exactly," Xena disagreed, "she can obviously take care of herself."
"Curious?"
"Very."
"Me, too. There's something about her...I just can't quite..."
"I know. Do me a favor, Gabrielle?"
"Sure, if I can."
"When we get back up there, stay away from the river."
"Oh, you can count on that," Gabrielle assured her.
A persistent light rain followed them into the hills, gradually thickening into slush and occasional tiny pellets of hail. The temperature dropped steadily as they climbed higher and Gabrielle huddled closer to Xena. By dusk they had reached the overhang and Xena rekindled the fire as Gabrielle began stew preparations. Xena checked the narrow passageway to the cave, but saw no light at its end. Gabrielle kept her distance from it. They settled beside the fire and Xena's mouth began to water at the enticing smell of venison stew that Solari had graciously provided. Gabrielle shivered and pulled her coat closer around her as a stealthy gust of cold wind found its way beneath their shelter. Xena looked up and Gabrielle followed her gaze.
The child had arrived with the wind, quietly, unobtrusively.
Xena and Gabrielle said nothing, though neither missed the dark circles beneath the child's bloodshot eyes, the forlorn slump of her shoulders. Gabrielle instinctively sought to comfort, but held back. Xena's heart clutched in her chest as the mother in her reacted to the child's obvious distress, but she, too, remained where she was. The child ventured closer.
"Would you like something to eat?" Gabrielle asked. "We have more than enough."
The child glanced toward the passageway to her hideaway and then at them, studying them closely. She looked over her shoulder and a moment later the howl of a wolf sounded in the distance. "Nothing ever really dies, you know," she avowed quietly, fixing her eyes on Gabrielle. "The spirit goes on."
Xena and Gabrielle glanced at each other, both knowing that the old dog remained alive now only within the child's heart.
Gabrielle felt a tightening in her throat and found it impossible to speak, her eyes, however, spoke volumes. The child shifted her gaze to Xena.
"We know," Xena affirmed.
The child started a little as the wind kissed the fire, prompting the flames to frolic magically within Xena's eyes. She took this as a sign to stay. The child studied the cup of steaming stew in her hand as Gabrielle studied her. Her eyes were remarkably beautiful. They had been as startlingly blue as Xena's when they first saw her in the sunlight, but now, underneath the shadowed shelter, they looked as black as a moonless sky. Strange, as if, like the sea, they needed the light and the sky to infuse them with color. Gabrielle realized that the child was staring at a silver Amazon bracelet encircling her wrist. Gabrielle hadn't worn it often, but something had moved her to put it on this morning.
"Do you like it?" Gabrielle asked her.
"Yes," the child answered.
Xena watched from beneath half lowered lashes as Gabrielle moved closer to the child and slid the bracelet off over her hand. She held it out the child, who, after a slight hesitation, took it. She examined it with the same bright interest she showed in most everything around her. Running her fingers over the smooth silver, studying the finely etched engravings around its surface. The child handed it back, looking on curiously as Gabrielle stared at it for a long moment. Gabrielle moved toward her and the child backed quickly away.
"I...I just thought maybe you'd like try it on?"
The child glanced at Xena, who appeared to be dozing, then took a step forward. Gabrielle placed the bracelet into her outstretched palm, and the child carefully, almost reverently, slid it over her own wrist. It was too big for her slender wrist, of course, but, at Gabrielle's suggestion, she slid it up until it fit snugly against her upper arm. It gleamed like saffron in the soft firelight.
"It looks good there," Gabrielle remarked. "Why don't you keep it?"
"It is valuable to you," the child stated. "It's worth not measurable in coin."
Gabrielle's eyes widened a bit at this rather uncanny revelation, "Yes. A very close friend gave it to me."
"She will not mind?"
"No. She will not mind."
The bracelet was, in fact, a gift from Ephiny long ago. One that Gabrielle had been reluctant to accept because it looked valuable.
"It's not worth that much," Ephiny assured her. "Not in the way you are thinking. It's a gift. One that is meant to be passed on, to the right person, at the right time."
The child narrowed her eyes, tilted her head slightly to the side, and stared intently into Gabrielle's gentle eyes. Xena, again, felt her heart ache at the familiarity of the motion. For that particular characteristic was the one thing that Rachel had never outgrown. Never, in all the years between the woefully few times that Xena had come into contact with her. But this child was not Rachel, and she was too old to be Rachel's daughter, unless... Xena closed her eyes, losing herself among her unsettled thoughts.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I've come tonight
I've come to know
The way we are
The way we'll go
-melissa etheridge
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The child delved into a small leather bag, then handed something wrapped in a piece of soft cloth to Gabrielle. Gabrielle opened it carefully and a small wood carving of a wolf fell into her hand. It was a classic pose, intricately detailed; eyes closed, head thrown back, ears flat to the skull, she could almost hear its howl raised to the heavens.
"Oh," Gabrielle whispered. "I can't- "
"Close your eyes," the child gently interrupted.
Gabrielle hesitated only a moment before doing so.
"What do you feel?"
The question surprised Gabrielle, not what do you hear as she expected, but what do you feel. She heard the wind, and the breathing of the fire, but she felt the moisture in the air and smelled it all around her. She felt the wind, its chilly, but light, caress carrying the sharp scent of pine, the musk of wet loam. She felt the swollen river, thundering through the canyon. Then she felt the earth's heartbeat, and for a moment, her own kept time. She opened her eyes and for a disconcerting instant, imagined she was looking into the comforting warmth of Xena's azure gaze.
"I want you to have it," the child's voice dissolved the illusion, but left its comforting warmth.
Gabrielle reached out to touch her hand, but stopped as the child's eyes followed the motion with mild alarm. The hand slowly withdrew and Gabrielle did not press.
The child was engrossed in her own thoughts for some time before looking back up at Gabrielle and then over at Xena, who was sitting with her back against the wall, eyes closed.
The child carefully set aside the cup of stew and walked over to Xena, scarcely making a sound as she closed the distance between them. Though Xena did not open her eyes, Gabrielle had no doubt that she knew the child was by her side. The child stood silently beside Xena for a few moments, one hand fluttering within the other like a tiny captive bird. She threw a quick glance at Gabrielle, who raised an eyebrow and took a bite of stew. Finally, the child moved closer and stood on tiptoe. The fluttering hand escaped and stretched toward Xena's head. One brilliant blue eye appeared, which gave the child pause, but only for a brief moment. The other eye opened as the child gently explored the top of Xena's head.
"Where are they?" the child asked curiously.
Xena looked askance at Gabrielle, who shrugged in return.
"Where are what?" Xena asked.
The child stared at her for a moment longer, then shifted her gaze to Gabrielle, who raised both eyebrows behind the steaming cup of stew. The child tossed her a small, impatient pout and turned her attention back to Xena.
"The Amazons have hay, you know."
Xena narrowed her eyes, giving the child a steely-eyed glare that affected her not at all. "I beg your pardon?"
They both looked at Gabrielle, who now wore that 'What?' look upon her face - she wisely retreated behind her cup once more. The child huffed out an annoyed little breath, put one hand on her hip and tilted her head to the side - that gesture, again, causing Xena's heart to lurch slightly within in her chest.
"Well," the child patiently explained. "I heard Xan say that you were cranky, and that meant that you were probably horny, and that meant all you needed was a roll in the hay to get you uncranky."
There was a moment of absolute, stunned silence. Xena's eyebrows shot up into her hairline, which, seemingly, unhinged her jaw since it dropped nearly to her chest. Then, both Xena and the child were startled by an explosion of sound that most closely resembled a hog snorting through a puddle of slop. They both turned as one toward Gabrielle.
"Ehhuuu!" the child exclaimed, voice equal parts horror and wondrously fascinated delight. "Look, Gabrielle has soup coming out her nose!"
"Amazing," Xena replied tonelessly, once she recovered her voice.
Gabrielle quickly buried her face in her coat sleeve and nearly imploded with excruciating hilarity.
"What's wrong with her?" the child inquired with some uneasiness, eyes growing wide.
Xena blinked slowly, pursing her lips slightly. "Well," she drawled. "It looks to me as if something has gone down the wrong way and she's choking on it. Maybe you should go over there and help her."
The child nodded solemnly and moved to Gabrielle's side. By the time she got there, Gabrielle had abandoned the cup of stew and had her face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. The child gently patted her shoulder. "Are you all right, Gabrielle?"
Gabrielle lifted her head, hands sliding down until they covered only her mouth, eyes streaming tears.
"Yeah, Gabrielle," Xena intoned sarcastically. "Do you think there's a tiny chance in Tartarus that you might live until morning?"
That particular statement, full of ominous payback undertones, combined with biting down hard on her lower lip, sobered Gabrielle enough for her to control herself. Somewhat.
"Mmm...uhm, I'm okay," Gabrielle managed. "Something just went down the wrong way."
"You don't look okay," the child glanced at Xena for confirmation.
Xena was leaning back against the wall, arms folded in front of her, a typical Xena-ish sardonic look on her face. Finding little help there, the child turned to Gabrielle once more. Leaning in close to Gabrielle's ear, she whispered something to Gabrielle that brought on a minor coughing fit. The child helpfully pounded her on the back until she recovered.
"Better now?" she asked.
"Much better," Gabrielle assured her, before moving on to a safer topic. "You know Xandra, then?"
The child nodded, but added nothing.
"Does she watch out for you?"
"I watch out for her."
"I see," Gabrielle replied seriously.
The child looked toward Xena and narrowed her eyes a little, letting her know that she hadn't been of much aid to her friend, then picked up her bag and turned away from them.
"Wait," Gabrielle said, unwilling to see her go alone into the night. "You...haven't finished your stew."
The child turned back toward Gabrielle's voice, but looked straight at Xena. "I have to go now. I'll come back to see you again, if you don't tell anyone you saw me."
"But..." Gabrielle began, stopping when she saw Xena raise her hand a little.
"You have to promise," the child quietly insisted.
Xena looked into her solemn blue-green eyes for a long moment, "Could you tell us your name, at least?"
"Do you promise?" the child returned.
"Yes. I promise," Xena answered.
The child looked over at Gabrielle, who also promised and crossed her heart for good measure, drawing a tiny smile from both Xena and the child.
"My name is Rhianna. Rhia for short. I'll know if you tell anyone and I'll know that I can't trust you."'
And with that she was gone, withdrawing as unobtrusively as she had entered, leaving only an odd, hollow emptiness and a soft glow of moonlight where she had stood; as if she had taken the light and left a luminous trail behind her. It was eerily surreal and thoroughly beautiful.
Xena and Gabrielle remained silent for a while, both absorbed in their own thoughts. Xena felt Gabrielle's eyes on her and met her amused gaze. "Something you want to say?"
Gabrielle chuckled a little, trying to control a huge surge of laughter welling up inside her. It would be days before she could look at Xena and not feel an attack of the giggles coming on. "Unusual child," she managed, finally.
"Very," Xena agreed.
"By the gods, Xena," Gabrielle snorted laughter, unable to control it any longer. "You should have seen the look on your face!"
"Yeah, well, wait 'til you see the look on Xan's face when I get hold of her."
Gabrielle totally lost it, she fell back against the blankets, literally howling with laughter. When she finally exhausted herself, she wiped her eyes and looked over at Xena once more. "Hoo, boy...sorry."
"I can see that."
"No, really...gods..."
"Mmm-hmm. What did she say to you?"
"What?"
"Rhianna. She whispered something to you."
"Ah. Yes, she did," Gabrielle smiled again.
"Wellll...."
"She, uh..." Gabrielle cleared her throat. "She said that it would probably be more fun if I rolled in the hay with you. Just struck me funny..."
Xena stared at her for a long moment before uttering a gruff snort of laughter. Gabrielle moved to her side and leaned back against the stone wall close beside her. "Well," she said softly, staring into Xena's eyes, "what do you think about that, cranky, horny warrior woman?"
"I think," Xena replied, leaning closer yet and taking hold of Gabrielle's chin. "That sometimes you talk way too much."
Gabrielle grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Mmmm, maybe I should just sit here and quietly ponder my thoughts."
"Maybe you should," Xena agreed.
Gabrielle pondered.
"Gabrielle?"
"Uhm?"
"What, may I ask, are you pondering?"
"Hay, mostly."
"Ah."
"Uh...Xena?"
"Hmmm?"
"What are you doing?"
"Helping you ponder."
"Pondering is beginning to take on a whole new meaning... not to mention location."
"I have many skills. Now hush."
She did. Pretty much, anyway.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed
-edgar allen poe
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The child appeared with the mist and the morning light. Xena looked up from adding wood to the fire and found Rhianna staring impassively at her.
"Good morning," Xena greeted her, voice low and quiet.
Rhia moved toward the fire as Xena put a finger to her lips and nodded toward a mound of blankets topped with a disheveled fringe of blonde hair. Rhia smiled and whispered, "She likes to sleep in."
"That she does," Xena agreed.
"I'm going to get water, I know a good place."
"I'll come with you."
Rhia turned to leave, Xena picked up the water bags and followed. The child led the way to a small waterfall that pooled and overflowed into a bowl shaped indentation in the rocks. The water was crystalline clear and icy cold. They filled the water bags and sat down to watch as the sun freed itself from the horizon, only to be entangled amongst the skeletal fingers of a dead tree.
Rhia looked up at Xena. "Sometimes I dream."
Xena turned her eyes to Rhia's, saying nothing.
"Sometimes," the child averted her eyes, "the dreams come true." She was quiet for a time, Xena waited in silence. "And sometimes," Rhia continued, "I touch something that is sick, or hurt..." a quick glance at Xena's hand, "and it gets better."
Silence still. The child shifted her gaze to Xena's solemn blue eyes once more. "But, sometimes it doesn't."
Xena took a slow breath, gathering her thoughts. "Why do you think these things happen?"
"I think...I think maybe I got it from my mother, but she could control it, so it didn't..." Rhia's lower lip disappeared beneath her top teeth.
"Frighten her?" Xena finished.
"Yes," Rhia whispered, voice lighter than air. "You can't tell anyone," she quickly added. "Except for Gabrielle, of course...if you want."
"I won't."
The child leaned back, crossing her arms across her chest and closing her eyes.
"Can I ask you something?" Xena inquired. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
Rhia opened one eye in an unconscious, yet perfect, imitation of Xena. The corners of Xena's mouth quirked up in amusement as she turned her head to fill a cup with water.
"Go ahead," Rhia encouraged, opening the other eye.
"Do you know which dreams will come true?"
A strange look crossed the child's face, her eyes grew darkly wary. "Yes," she answered, with slow reluctance.
"Do you know when the healing will work?"
"No."
"Is this why you avoid people, so they don't find out about your...gifts?"
The child blinked. "Do you think they are gifts?"
Xena thought about it. Thought about Rachel and the saddened, far-away look in her timeworn eyes.
"No," Xena said, finally. "I don't think they are."
"People are stinkers, that's why avoid them."
An ephemeral grin crossed Xena's lips.
"Most people," Rhia amended.
"Thanks."
Rhia smiled, revealing a tiny gap between her two front teeth, the sight of which stopped Xena's heart for a split second. The child stood up.
"You watch over Xan," Xena stated.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"She needs someone," Rhia declared. "To watch over her," she added.
"Mmm," Xena replied noncommittally.
"And I have something to give her. When she's ready."
"How will you know when she's ready?"
"We'll both know," Rhia answered. "In here," she elaborated, placing her fingers above her heart.
"I see."
"If something would happen to me, will you give it to her?"
The sudden shift of conversation jarred Xena for a moment, the thought of something happening to this child... "How will I know what it is?" Xena asked, willing her voice not to betray her sudden unease.
"You'll know."
"In here?" Xena echoed, touching her heart.
Rhia's eyes sparkled. "Do you think I'm mys-ter-ee-us?"
"You are that," Xena admitted, smiling to herself.
A delighted, gap-toothed grin appeared. Xena returned it.
The sun disentangled itself from the dead branches and rose higher. Rhia narrowed her eyes as it reflected off the chakram at Xena's side. The grin slid away with the tilting of her head. She moved closer, drawn by the chakram's silvery brilliance, and laid her fingers against it. Raising her head, she looked directly into Xena's eyes. Xena felt the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up. She reached for Rhia's hand, determined to remove it from the chakram. Two words halted her.
"You dream," Rhia said softly, and so sadly, it was a lament.
Xena said nothing. Everyone dreamed.
"It will come true," Rhia's hand went to her mouth, as if the words had escaped unintentionally, the thought; uninvited.
Xena's blood ran cold. The child's eyes shimmered, then overflowed with tears. Something smooth and cold touched Xena's hand. The child went absolutely still, not a muscle, not a breath disturbed that perfect stillness. She stepped back abruptly and the sun hit Xena squarely in the eyes. She squeezed them shut against its brightness, when she opened them the child was gone. Xena sucked in a breath as if she had just surfaced from frigid water; harsh and desperate. Exhaling shakily, she looked down and her breath caught again. A small piece of lapis; cool, blue and roughly formed in the shape of a cross rested obscenely in her hand. And as she watched, a fresh stain of blood pooled through the bandage around it.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Night can be sweet as a kiss,
though not a night like this.
-edgar allen poe
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Xena entered Xan's hut, blinking at the odd collation of darkness and light within. Sunlight spilled through the open roof, scattering dark shadows in its wake, puddling into a dust filled pool of light on the floor. In the midst of this, Gabrielle sat reading, a number of scrolls scattered around her. Xena studied her for a moment. She was totally absorbed in her reading, thoughtful expression on her face. She had not told Gabrielle of the encounter with the child, even though Gabrielle knew, in vivid and painful detail thanks to Alti, of Xena's disturbing visions.
"Gabrielle," Xena spoke softly, but Gabrielle started a bit at the sound of her voice.
"Hey," Gabrielle returned, a smile replacing her small frown of concentration.
"Writing?" Xena asked.
"Reading."
"Good stuff?"
"Very good. Excellent, really. Poems; Xan wrote them."
Xena raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"She used to write. Before...she wrote for..." Gabrielle hesitated, then silently cursed herself for not thinking before she spoke.
"For Rachel," Xena finished.
"Yes...she..."
"She has many skills," Xena inserted, with a half-hearted attempt at levity and a smile that never reached her eyes.
"She does, doesn't she," Gabrielle tried to muster an answering smile and had much the same success as Xena. "Are you going somewhere?" she added, noticing the bedroll in Xena's hand and deftly changing the subject.
Xena looked down at the bedroll as if she had forgotten it was there. Gabrielle titled her head a little to the side, studying Xena as closely as she had the scroll, which was now lying forgotten at her side. Xena looked tired, very tired. Her eyes shimmered, startlingly blue against the paleness of her face.
"Xena..."
Xena shifted her gaze from the bedroll to Gabrielle.
"Are you feeling all right?" Gabrielle asked.
"I'm fine."
"Come here. Please."
Xena smiled a little and moved to stand beside her. Gabrielle looked up at her, shielding her eyes against the sun.
"Sit. I'm getting a kink in my neck."
Xena sat and Gabrielle laid a hand against her forehead, frowning at the heat against her palm.
"Stop that," Xena groused.
"You have a fever," Gabrielle told her, surprised and concerned now, moving her hand to the side of Xena's face.
"I do not."
Xena leaned back, lifting a hand to brush Gabrielle's hand aside. Gabrielle grabbed her wrist, wrinkling her nose at the sight of the bloodstained bandage around Xena's hand. The bite; she had all but forgotten about it. How could she have? "Have you been taking care of this?" feeling guilty and annoyed with both herself and Xena all at the same time.
"Yes. It's- "
"Let me see."
"Gabrielle, I don't have time- "
Gabrielle tightened her grip when Xena tried to free her wrist. Xena huffed out a resigned sigh and ceased the struggle when Gabrielle shot her a look. Gabrielle undid the bandage.
"Xena." Gabrielle hissed, stress on the final syllable causing Xena to feel thoroughly chastised and about two years old. Puzzled, Xena looked at her palm. The jagged wound was fiery red and seeping yellow. The skin surrounding it was swollen, bruised and could have been cleaner. But, how could that be? She had been taking care of it. The threat of infection, and worse; rabies, was real, she would have to be a complete fool to ignore it. And yet...
"By the gods, Xena," Gabrielle huffed, exasperated.
Xena was silent, totally absorbed, and more than a little troubled by her thoughts as Gabrielle retrieved the medicine bag from amongst her scattered scrolls. Gabrielle cleaned and re-dressed the wound, being none too gentle about it. Xena uttered a soft sound. It was not quite a word, not a cry of pain, but something in between, causing Gabrielle to halt what she was doing and look up. Xena was studying her with quiet intensity, a look in her eyes that caused a sudden, uneasy heaviness in Gabrielle's chest. The atmosphere around them grew still and dense. Xena traced the scar on the back of Gabrielle's hand. Gabrielle glanced down and drew her fingers inward, forming a tight fist around the trembling.
"Did I hurt you?" Gabrielle spoke with effort, breaking, finally, the unnerving, smothering silence surrounding them.
Xena shook her head a little. "No. No it's fine. Thanks."
"Xena, you have to be more careful with this."
"I have been careful with it!"
Gabrielle drew back from the angry frustration in Xena's voice. They stared at each other a few moments longer before Xena shook her head a little and looked away. "I talked with Solari today, she got word that there are more troops entering Amazon lands," Xena told her. "There has been fighting among them and scattered Amazon tribes. I'm leaving tomorrow to see if I can find why Caesar, if it is Caesar, would risk war with the Amazons. Solari is also afraid that Ephiny and her small party may be in danger."
"I'll get my things together. And we'll both keep an eye on this wound, okay?" Gabrielle tied off the bandage and began to stand.
"Gabrielle," Xena held onto her hand.
Gabrielle sat back down, giving her a puzzled look.
"I...maybe you should...I..."
"What?"
Xena took a breath and began again. "Maybe you should stay here." Xena spoke quickly and raised a hand against the protest she knew was coming. "Look, Gabrielle, I know the past few months have been... hard for you. The violence, the killing. Especially lately, I'm afraid..."
"What? You're afraid I can't handle it?" Gabrielle's eyes grew dark; a rising storm on an angry sea.
"Gabrielle..."
"Have I become a liability to you, Xena?!" Gabrielle stood, pulling her hand from Xena's grasp.
"I didn't say that," Xena insisted.
"You didn't have to," Gabrielle retorted hotly, turning abruptly and walking away.
Xena was stung by the heated intensity of Gabrielle's anger. She cursed herself for handling this badly, which was usually what happened when she wasn't completely straightforward with Gabrielle.
"I'm going to spend tonight at the cave where we met Rhianna," Xena called after her. "I'll be leaving tomorrow morning, just after sunrise."
It was an invitation.
"Fine," Gabrielle replied shortly, ignoring it.
Dammit, Xena thought to herself, staring at Gabrielle's fast retreating back. Gabrielle, wait. The words, so simple, formed in her mind. Her heart literally ached to voice them. Yet, they died on her tongue, frozen by the touch of the cold blue stone in her hand.
Gabrielle took a few more steps before she hesitated, halted by the senselessness of her animosity. Shaking her head a little, wondering at her anger, she turned around. Xena was gone. She looked around. Her unspoken apology burned in her throat, behind her eyes. Shadows gathered beneath the trees and the wind chortled derisively, chilling her to the bone. Just the wind, Gabrielle thought to herself, rubbing her arms against the cold. It's just the wind.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
And I forgot to tell you
I love you
And the night's too long
And cold here
Without you
-sarah mcLachlan
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The moon was tarnished gold against a velvet blue sky.
Xan studied it through the open roof of the hut. Gabrielle stared at it from beneath the lean-to. Xena looked past it into the vast emptiness beyond. Three hearts, three souls, one thought; lonely.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You found hope
You found faith
Found your dream
But lost your heart
-jessica riddle
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The hooded form moved quietly through the darkness, pausing, listening, just outside the hut. Silence within. Dew glistened on the sleeve as a pale hand pushed aside the covering over the doorway and slipped inside. The shrouded figure, a shadow among shadows, hesitated a moment, then moved toward the bed and reached out. A tingling along the spine, a slight disturbance of air and the swift, deadly song of honed silver.
"Don't!" a single word, breathlessly spoken, just as the blade touched her throat.
"Geeze, Gabrielle!" Xan's irked voice emerged from the darkness. The blade withdrew and Gabrielle swallowed, putting a hand to her throat. The sound of striking flint, a spark. Xan lit a torch, then two more set along the wall. She turned to face Gabrielle, eyes wide in the half-light. Gabrielle touched her throat, her own eyes widening at the feel of a thin line of wetness there.
"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time.
Xan moved beside her, placed a finger beneath her chin and gently raised her head. Grimacing, markedly appalled at the sight of Gabrielle's blood, Xan removed her finger, then repeated the process, tilting Gabrielle's head back once more.
"Well," Xan offered, a bit shakily, "your head didn't fall off, so I guess you're okay?"
Gabrielle produced a grin that made Xan wince at its grimness.
"I'm fine, it's nothing. Really."
"Dammit, Gabrielle," Xan said roughly, angry now that her fright had begun to dissipate.
"I know," Gabrielle held up a placating hand. "I said I was sorry. I was just going to wake you, I didn't want to scare you."
"Tell that to my underwear," Xan grumped, pulling at the seat of her pants.
Gabrielle stared at her a moment, then laughed out loud. The laugh turned a bit hysterical until Xan gave her a look. Gabrielle's hand moved from her throat to her mouth.
"What's wrong?" Xan asked.
Gabrielle told her. Xan stared at her for a long moment before going off on a rant. "Well, crimminies, Gabrielle, what are you doing here? What were you thinking? You don't belong here!"
"Xan..."
"As a matter of fact," Xan began to pace the length of the hut and back, "neither of us belong here. You belong with Xena and I..."
"Xan..."
"Well, I'm not quite sure where I belong, but it isn't here, and you- "
"XANDRA!"
"What?!" Xan yelped, startled into immobility.
"I just came to get my things. And to say good-bye, in case we don't get back this way."
"Oh."
They stared at each other in the flickering torchlight.
"Well, then, give me a hug. You'd better get going if you are going to catch her by first light."
Gabrielle took a step forward, placed her hand gently on Xan's face, and explored the pale gray of her eyes. She began to say something, then merely closed her eyes, leaned forward and gave Xan a soft, sweet kiss before resting her head against Xan's shoulder. Xan, somewhat dazed and inexplicably breathless from the kiss, hesitated a moment, then slid her arms around Gabrielle, hugging her tightly.
Xan closed her eyes as the strangest feeling rose inside her. Emotions; elusive or altogether absent since she had lost Rachel, surfaced with unexpected and painful intensity.
She wanted to laugh, but she could not. She held back tears, hot and stinging, afraid of where they would lead.
Xan was scared. No!
She was invincible! Yes!
Her knees went suddenly weak. Dammit!
She was hurt, and so angry she was definitely ready to kill something!
"I'll miss you, Xan," Gabrielle whispered.
Xan grew meek as a newborn lamb.
God help me I… Xan wisely left the thought unspoken as well as unfinished.
Continued in Part 3
The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive