Leigh's Story by Peewee

Okay. I should start at the beginning. I know I should, but it would be excruciatingly boring, and not a great way to start things off. I could start at the end. Images of fantastic, rough, amazing, painful, break-up sex flutter through my mind. That would be an interesting way to start. It does seem like a ratings stunt though, and I know cheap ratings stunts because I create them now. At twenty-four, I am the youngest head writer ever for a Canadian television show. The entertainment press labelled me a phenom. I always thought a phenom was a teenage gymnast who was washed up by the time they were twenty; I didn't take it as a compliment. The industry is filled with vipers and charlatans, but I knew that already. Jacqueline Keating had hurt me deeply with her attempt to buy me off. I assumed she was the rarity in the business; she is and she isn't. Jack hurt me because I could see the good in her - the woman who wanted to feel, and be loved. I rarely see that in the people I work with. Writers are self-absorbed, directors are tyrants, and actors - well actors must have a special spot reserved for them in hell. Why do I do it, you ask? Because as I mentioned earlier, I am the youngest head writer ever... I am especially self-absorbed.

After Jack left the lake, things went back to normal. Kerry and I went off to college. She chose to pursue a political career, I chose film school; fitting, after our high school experience, that we both ended up with jobs that forced us to deal with two-faced creeps every day. We still keep in touch. We meet every few months for drinks, bitch about our jobs, and talk about life on the lake. Kerry and Jamie dated for a while, but it didn't work out. They stayed good friends, though, and she was a member of his wedding party last year. I was invited but declined, saying that it was sweeps, and I was working really hard on the show. In reality, I got hammered and watched an old Jacqueline Keating movie on satellite, while my girlfriend was asleep.

At college I perfected the whole cute tomboy, baby-dyke image; I kept my hair short, wore my baseball cap backwards, and dressed in jeans and flannel shirts. I was every young femme's dream. I had a series of girlfriends, but nothing ever lasted. Then the summer I graduated, I got a job as a DA on a television show that was shot in Toronto. I was basically an overpaid gofer, but I got to watch how shows were made. I really started to appreciate the work the crews did. I used to follow the camera people around, asking them annoying questions until they wanted to strangle me. The director of photography was fed up with the constant harassment of his camera crew, so he released his attack dog.

That's when I met her. Leigh was tall and muscular, with wavy black hair and deep-set brown eyes. Her skin was tanned and she had a crooked smile that could make you grin - or shudder in fear, depending on how she used it. She walked up to me, grabbed the front of my shirt, and pulled me close.

"Listen up, short stuff." She had a deep, gravely voice that affected my libido immediately. "Back-off the guys. You're driving us nuts with your stupid questions."

I must have looked heart-broken, because when she let go of me, she just stared at me for a minute. Then she leaned in and quietly said, "If you promise not to bother the camera crew for the rest of the week, after we wrap on Friday night, I will personally go over any questions you have."

I never said a word on set for the rest of the week, and on Friday - as promised - she answered every question I asked. She became my only friend on the set, and Friday night became our standard "drinks and conversation" night.

I missed one Friday because of a well-meaning, but ultimately stupid friend that set me up on a blind date with this little wisp of a girl. She came to the set to meet me, wearing a sundress, with her red hair in ringlets. Leigh looked at me and laughed. I looked at my date, then back at Leigh and shrugged. It was a pretty bad date, but then most blind dates are.

The thing that really bugged me was Leigh. She was really cold to me the whole next week. When Friday came, Leigh walked up to me and told me she was working late. She said if I wanted to talk I would have to go with her.

We walked the few blocks to her loft; she lived in a pretty trendy area. We took the lift up to her living space. I had thought the Keating house was beautiful, but Leigh's loft was way better. Well not really, but it was very shabby-chic and artsy. As soon as you were inside, you were in the kitchen area. The fridge, stove and dishwasher were to the immediate right against the entranceway wall. There was a long island in the middle with a few stools surrounding it, which appeared to be the only spot to eat in the whole place. Behind that area was an old leather couch and oak coffee table. It had a well-worn look to it, so I suspected that was where Leigh spent most of her time. There was a series of Japanese screens set up to block one corner off. With a quick peak, I verified that it was her quasi bedroom. The whole place was exposed brick and hardwood floors. Directly in front of the entrance was the only walled area of the loft. There were two doors about ten feet apart on the walled area. One I was sure led to the bathroom, but the other was confusing. I'm sure it was supposed to be used as the bedroom, but that was obviously not its current function. I looked to the left and quickly realized that there was more to my friend then I imagined. She had numerous cameras and lights set up in a studio setting, with more cameras and equipment on shelves along the far wall. There was a set of desks with a high-end Mac and editing equipment spread out over them.

I looked at Leigh and raised an eyebrow.

She just smirked. "I work in television to pay the bills and keep myself out of trouble, but I'm a photographer."

I was impressed. Leigh just kept getting more and more interesting. She offered me a beer, grabbed herself one, and then led me over to her work area. She turned on the computer and took a sip from her beer as she waited for it to load. She showed me what she was currently working on. It was a series of black and white stills of naked women, in all sizes and shapes. The women were photographed so you never saw anything but you could tell they were naked. It was beautiful. Leigh was very talented.

"I didn't know," I said looking at her in awe.

"There's a lot you don't know kid," she said bitterly.

That stung a bit. I looked down at my feet.

"How was the date?" She asked, unable to keep the venom out of her voice.

"It sucked," I admitted, peeling the label off my beer.

Leigh watched the deft fingers for a moment. Real interest crept into her voice, when she spoke again. "Do you always date girls like her?"

I noticed the change and looked at her with similar curiosity. "Sorta, I guess so. Why?"

She just shook her head and went back to work. I asked a few questions about her art, and none about the show. I found what she did fascinating. She was such a creative woman, powerful and passionate about everything. I admired her. After an hour or so she looked over at me. I was so engrossed in her work; I just smiled and stared back at the computer screen.

"I think you should go Jilly," she said, her voice thicker and deeper than it had been earlier.

"Huh?"

"I think you should go home now." She said standing and walking away from her work area.

"Okay." I was confused, but didn't want to fight with her.

She led me to the door. I followed along like a good puppy until we reached the door; then I had to know.

"Did I do something to piss you off? You've been weird around me all week." I never got to say another word. She pressed me up against the door and kissed me so hard, I'm sure my lips were bruised.

Once we parted, I just stared at her- out of breath and wanting more. She closed her eyes, as if willing herself to calm down.

"I want you so badly Jilly, so badly." Her voice cracked with desire.

I leaned forward and caught her lips in a searing kiss. This one went deeper, and after a valiant fight for control, I gave in and let her lead. When we pulled away again, I grinned at her.

"I want you too, Leigh." My own voice was a little huskier than usual.

"Oh Jilly," she sighed and leaned her forehead against mine, "I don't play nice. I'm not like one of your little flowery girls."

"I don't care, Leigh." I really didn't. This felt right, more than any relationship in the past. I wanted Leigh, her strength and passionate nature were part of what I wanted.

"Are you sure?" She asked nervously.

"Absolutely." I said, knowing that it was the truth.

Leigh groaned and lifted her head away from mine. I caught her lips and tried to push her forward. She laughed gently into the kiss, and then pulled away. She grabbed my hand and led me into her sleeping area. I was grinning like an idiot. I'd had a crush on Leigh since the first moment we met. She stopped me in front of her bed and pulled me into another passionate kiss. I felt her hand drop to my jeans. I don't think I have ever been so eager to be naked. As we pulled away, I pulled off my t-shirt and bra as she undid my pants. Once free of clothing, she pulled me into her. I had never realized how much bigger and stronger she was until that moment. I was completely at her mercy. It thrilled me beyond belief.

She pulled away, taking a moment to regain her composure; then she motioned for me to be still. She went to her nightstand and removed a harness with a rather substantial tool attached to it. I shivered - part in fear, part in anticipation. Since my night with Jack, I had never let anyone use one on me. Leigh stripped and attached the harness with ease. Moonlight shone down on her from a skylight above the bed; she was beautiful. Her muscles rippled as she advanced on me with catlike grace. Once she reached me, she pulled me into a tight embrace. We kissed for what seemed like eternity; when she pulled away she put her lips to my ear.

"Jilly, are you sure you want this?" She asked one last time.

"God, yes," I gasped. "I'll do anything you want."

At that, she practically growled and spun me around. "Get on the bed; hands and knees," she ordered.

Inwardly I flinched, I know I did. I didn't like it this way. The Coach had never been very gentle, and Leigh already told me she wasn't gentle. I decided I didn't care. I wanted Leigh and would do anything she wanted me to. I climbed up on the bed and positioned myself on my hands and knees. When she moved up behind me, I felt my body stiffen. She gently rubbed my back until I started to relax.

"It's okay Jilly," she whispered. "I won't hurt you."

I nodded; fear had stolen my voice. Tears formed in my eyes, and I wondered why after all this time I would still be scared of the pain of it. Then I felt it; she was moving it into position. I would soon have to grit my teeth and deal with the torture. She moved the dildo to my opening - but not the opening I had feared. Then, with gentle kisses on my neck, she slowly pressed in. It was ecstasy. All the tension left my body. I pushed back, wanting more.

"Slowly Jilly," she cooed.

She set up a slow - and in my opinion - unbearable pace. She was driving me crazy with want. "More," I gasped. "Harder. Please."

She groaned and picked up her pace. Every stroke fuelled my passion. I could feel my hands shaking and my legs quivering, in anticipation of release. I tried to tamp that feeling down; I wanted this to last. I wanted to be together with her as long as possible.

She was starting to lose control. The thrust got harder and deeper. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. When she grabbed my hips to pull me into her, and she drove forward, I lost it. I screamed and cried as my release flooded out of me. I heard her moan out my name as she crested. She fell on my sweat-covered back, and tried to get her breath.

After a moment, she kissed my neck and the side of my face.
"Oh Jilly, I'm so sorry."

I was confused; she certainly had nothing to be sorry about.

"You're crying," she said, wiping a tear away.

I started to laugh, and she looked really upset.

"No Leigh, I'm sorry." I tried to explain. "When you asked me to get on my knees, I thought... well?I thought you were going to take me a different way."

Understanding crossed her features. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Well, I wanted you, and I figured if I said no, you would be mad." I explained.

"Jilly, honey, don't be scared to tell me if you don't want to do something," she said rubbing my back.

I just shrugged.

"Have you ever done it that way?" she asked.

I nodded. "It hurt; a lot."

"Didn't your partner stop when she realized it hurt?"

"No," I said, closing my eyes. "She got mad at me."

Leigh cursed. "Well she was a fucking bitch then."

I wanted to laugh, but couldn't.

"How about we try and get rid of those memories?" Leigh grinned.

I was sceptical, and so was my body.

"Relax kiddo. You say stop and we stop. Okay?" Leigh promised.

I agreed.

"Good, now roll over."

I was confused, but did what she said and rolled onto my back. She tossed aside the harness and dildo, and slid on top of me. Her kisses were gentle and arousing. She moved down my body, caressing every part of me before settling between my legs.

The first swipe of her tongue had me squirming. She devoured me until I could barely take anymore, then she eased my legs over her shoulders. I felt so vulnerable and open to her. I realized I wanted that more than anything in the world. She kept feasting on me, and entered me with one finger. She pumped gently, then removed her finger and entered me with her tongue. It was heaven.

I felt her finger moving towards my other opening. I froze. I wasn't sure what to do.

"Relax Jilly," she hummed. "Tell me to stop if it hurts, and I will."

I calmed with those words. I felt the single digit enter me slowly. It was a weird sensation, but it didn't hurt. Then she began to pump her hand as she moved her tongue, and all conscious thought left me. I was awash in sensation. When she slipped my clit into her mouth and gently bit down, I exploded. She took her time savouring my release, before climbing up next to me. I was still taking in deep gasps of breath.

"I didn't know it could be like that," I panted.

"You don't know a lot of things," she said, echoing her earlier statement - this time without the scorn. "But I have lots of time to teach you."

I laughed and kissed her. "You'll find I'm a very good student."

We spent the rest of the night going over lesson plans.

I lazily awoke, curled up like a cat in the sunshine that came through the skylight. I could hear Leigh moving around me, but I didn't say anything. I couldn't see what she was doing. Finally, curiosity got the better of me; I stretched and opened my eyes. She was standing by her nightstand with a pair of steaming coffee mugs. She smiled at me and set the mugs down, leaned forward and kissed me.

"Morning sweetie," she smiled. "I thought you might need a little pick-me-up this morning."

I laughed and whacked her behind, lightly with my pillow. "It's your fault."

"I know," she said proudly. "I think I wore you out."

I was about to say something sarcastic, but once I moved my leg, the gentle ache inside started to increase. "Well, parts of me anyway." I said, giving her another kiss.

"You're young," she teased. "You'll recover quickly."

"I certainly hope so." I said, as images of the night before flashed through my mind.

"Why don't we curl up and have some coffee? Then maybe we can go for a walk and get some lunch?"

"It's lunchtime?" I was shocked; I never slept that late.

"Not yet, but by the time we're ready to leave, it will be." She smiled. "I think you may have worn me out a bit too."

I just smiled at her and rolled my eyes, "Sweet talker."

We curled up in bed and drank our coffee, kissing and snuggling the morning away. We had a leisurely shower, and then got ready to face the day. We ate lunch at a little caf� that Leigh obviously frequented. The food was fantastic, as was the atmosphere.

Queen Street was the gay Mecca of Toronto. You could sit with your partner, hold hands, kiss, and no one blinked an eye. We took a walk, and basically had a great day.

I knew I should go home at least to change clothes, but I didn't want to leave Leigh. She seemed to sense my distress, so she suggested we go back to her place and watch a movie. Once there, we made love for what seemed like hours; then curled up naked on the couch, with an old afghan thrown over us. She turned on the television and went to the guide to see what was on.

"Hey that's a Jacqueline Keating classic." I said, pointing out a movie choice.

"And that's why I will never watch it," she said, her voice cold.

I gave her a strange look. "Not a fan?"

"I hate the fucking bitch," she seethed.

Uh oh. "How come?"

"It's a long story."

"Tell me," I said wary about what she was going to say. Even after all that had happened I still felt something for Jack. I think it might have been pity.

Leigh just laughed. "Why do you care? You don't know her, do you?"

The last question sounded a little accusatory, so I decided to bend the facts a bit. "I know her brother. He used to summer on the Lake. We delivered his groceries, and he dated Kerry."

"Is he a backstabbing, cruel bitch too?" Leigh asked.

"Ah? No. He's a good guy."

Leigh didn't look convinced.

"What did she do to make you hate her so much?" I had my own reasons for disliking Jack, but I could never bring myself to hate her.

"We were friends." Leigh said softly, with more vulnerability than I had ever seen in her. "I started dating this girl; she was fantastic, and I think I loved her."

I really didn't like where this was going.

"Jack was actually getting a lot of press, and she was being touted as the next big thing. She came to visit me. Shannon - that was my girlfriend's name - she was a big fan, and they hit it right off. We had a great time, but after a few days off, I had to go back to work. When I got home that night, I found them in my bed together. I was livid. Jack didn't even bother to apologize; she just smirked at me as she ground into Shannon. I left for an hour. When I came home the house was empty. Shannon left me a note saying she was sorry, but she was leaving with Jack."

I felt so bad for Leigh. Shannon needed a smack upside the head.

Leigh continued, "Then fast forward six months, and I see Shannon at a club. Not just any club, but a leather club. She had a collar around her neck, and she was high on something. She was being dragged around half-naked by some really cold-looking bitch. I needed to know why she was letting someone treat her so badly. I found out Jack had tired of her, after getting her hooked on drugs and turning her into a pet. She gave her to the bitch as some sort of payment for services rendered."

I shuddered at the idea of Jack doing that. The fact that I knew she could do ugly things to people made me believe Leigh's story.

"I'm so sorry, Leigh." I said, giving her a kiss. "I'll never bring her up again."

Leigh smiled and gave me a bone-crushing hug. "Thanks sweetie."

"Anytime," I smiled back. "How about we forgo the movie and just go to bed?"

Leigh stood up, carrying me with her.

"So I guess that's a yes." I laughed.

~~~

By the time Christmas hit, I was living with Leigh at the loft. That was over two years ago. Leigh was with me when I joined the writer's guild, when I got the job as a writer on the show, and when I was promoted to head writer. I had grown my hair out; it was long and curly. I often had to put it up at work, so I could look older and more professional.

I, in turn, watched her become a photographer of some renown. Her series of black and white stills led to a show. She was primarily a portrait photographer, and she seemed to catch the emotion and vulnerability of her subjects. I was often her subject. She didn't show the pictures of me, but they were quite good. She managed to make me look sexy, so they had to be magical.

We had a good life, but Leigh's work was starting to get to her. She had given up working in television, to pursue photography full time. She had gained worldwide exposure shooting the cover, and pictures for the featured article, in Rolling Stone magazine. It was a great way to help subsidise her more artistic side, but she hated dealing with celebrities.

I was up to my neck in script troubles. The series was ending, and I had to come up with ways to plausibly wrap-up the loose ends of the story. I barely noticed that Leigh seemed crankier than usual. I knew she had a big shoot coming up, but she hadn't told me anything about it... well, other than to generically bitch about actors. I knew where she was shooting and when, but that was about all the information I got out of her.

I went to work that morning, and by the time she was at her shoot, I had a headache that would drop a horse. I decided to call it an early day. I figured I would go see Leigh, get a hug, then go home. I took a cab out to the area I knew she was shooting in. I only got past security because one of Leigh's assistants saw me walking up. He led me right to Leigh.

"Hey baby," I said, hugging her from behind.

"Hey Jilly." She turned and gave me a warm smile.

"How's it going?"

"Oh, just fantastic," was the bitter response. "The star doesn't like the set-up, her handlers don't like me; I hate all of them. It's a great day."

"Aw. Baby." I hugged her again.

"I never should have agreed to this. I knew it would be a total fuck-up, right from the start." She shook her head.

I was about to console her some more when I heard someone walk up behind me.

"How cute! The big bad dyke photographer getting comforted by her little woman."

I felt my stomach drop. It couldn't be. Leigh never would have agreed to shoot Jack. Well not with a camera anyway. I heard the growl start low in Leigh's throat.

"Fuck off, Keating."

I shook my head and thought I might pass out. I wished I could go back to our first day together and tell Leigh the truth. She would never forgive me for lying to her, not about this. Hoping that Jack wouldn't even remember me in her long line of conquests, I turned and looked at my former idol.

She recognized me right away, and a cruel little smile played on her lips. "Well Leigh, I see your taste has improved. Jilly has some rather explosive sexual abilities, don't you honey?"

I felt Leigh stiffen against my back. She let her arms fall from around my waist. I turned to look at her, and she stared at me like she had been hit.

"Leigh, it was a long time ago." I said pathetically.

"Yeah Leigh, it was a long time ago." Jack laughed. "I took her virginity, so it had to be a long time ago."

"You are not helping." I spat at Jack.

"Not trying to." She sneered at us both.

I turned back to Leigh and saw the pain in her eyes. I had betrayed her. If I had only told her the truth back in the beginning... she would have been upset... but now it was too late for apologies.

"Leigh??"

"Get off the set Jilly." the ice in her voice gave me chills.

"Leigh, please let me explain." I begged.

"Not now." She said trying to reign in her temper. "At home. Go home. I'll be there as soon as I'm done."

I nodded, tears filling my eyes. I turned and walked away from the drama. For the first time in my life, I knew what hate felt like. I could forgive Jack for what she did to me, but to use it to purposely hurt Leigh was unforgivable.

I waited at the loft for hours. Leigh was never this late. I was getting worried about her. I felt like such an idiot. All the shoulda-coulda-woulda questions repeated endlessly in my head.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the lift stop. I waited for Leigh to be in the loft before I actually let myself breathe a sigh of relief. She was drunk - that much was obvious from her teetering in the doorway. I knew she wouldn't appreciate me trying to get close to her, so I just waited, standing by the couch.

"How much of it was true?" she asked bitterly.

I took a deep breath. "It's all true. She was the lady who I delivered groceries to that took my virginity."

She looked like she might cry. "Why? Why did you lie?"

"You hated her so much. I didn't want you to hate me because I had been with her." I was crying by then. "She was a bitch to me, and left me feeling dirty and used; I didn't want to tell anyone that."

"I was your partner! You're supposed to tell me things like that!" Leigh yelled.

"Was? Leigh, please we can get past this." I was terrified of losing her.

"No Jilly, we can't. I can't. I hate her with all that is holy, and you slept with her. Not only that, you lied about it for two and a half years! You allowed her to have the perfect weapon to hurt me. You know, she tried all day to make me lose it. She pushed all the buttons to make me react and I let it all slide. I knew that at the end of the day, I would go home to you, and she would slither off to whatever hole she came out of. You took that away from me." She advanced on me. "I trusted you with my heart." She was inches away from me. "And you broke it."

I just sobbed. My whole life was in turmoil - all because of a teenage tryst that I hadn't had a whole lot of control over.

"Please Leigh. Please. I love you. I need you."

"Yeah, well, we'll see about that," she growled as she kissed me roughly.

I had never been scared of Leigh. I loved her, and even when we had rough sex, she had never looked at me with anything other than love. She pulled away suddenly and pushed me over the couch. I felt her lean her body against mine. There was a bulge where there hadn't been one this afternoon. I felt my mouth go dry.

"Do you really need me, Jilly?" she taunted as she pulled my pants down.

I closed my eyes. "I'll do anything you want, Leigh."

She growled and kicked my legs apart. I heard her lower her zipper, and braced myself for the worst.

Instead I felt her breath on my ear. "Tell me to stop and I will."

A sob escaped at those words. My Leigh was still there.

"Anything." I managed to say.

I cried out as she drove into me. She knew I wasn't a fan of sex this way -She wanted to make me hurt like I had hurt her. I could take it. I hoped.

Each thrust felt like it was tearing me up. I couldn't keep the tears from coming. She hated it when I cried. If she wanted to do this, she would have to deal with the consequences - at least that's what I told myself.

It took longer than usual for her to reach her peak. I felt horrible when she landed on my back. It took every bit of self-control I had, not to shake her off me. I felt her breathing relax; then she stood up and yanked her toy out of me with such force, it felt like it ripped me in two. I screamed; she grabbed my shirt and twisted me to face her.

"It's a long night darling," she sneered and pointed towards the bedroom. "Better get comfy."

I crawled out of bed the next morning, hurting all over. I slowly made it into the bathroom and into the shower without waking Leigh. I doubt anything could have awakened her from her booze-infused coma.

The first sting of the shower broke the fragile hold I had on my emotions. I cried like never before. I cried for betraying Leigh. I cried for the loss of my relationship. I cried for the fear I couldn't shake. I cried for the loss of her friendship. When I was all cried out, I got out of the shower and got dressed.

I gathered up a few of my things and put them in a large duffel bag. I called my old roommates and arranged to stay there for a few days. Then I made some coffee and waited for Leigh to wake up.

I had thought about leaving her a note but that wasn't fair to her. Shannon had left her that way. I intended to face her before I left.

A couple of hours later, Leigh got up and looked at me. She groaned and walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower start up, so I made another pot of coffee. I had already drunk the first one, and I knew Leigh would need some caffeine to try and fight off her hangover. A few minutes later, Leigh shuffled out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. I handed her a cup of coffee. She nodded her thanks, and then looked at me with bleary red-rimmed eyes.

"Your things aren't in the bathroom?" She asked carefully, her voice threatening to break.

"No, they aren't." I wasn't going to give an inch.

"Can't we fix this, Jilly?" It was almost a plea.

It would have been so easy to say yes. To give into that trust we had before Jack showed up. I closed my eyes and saw the look on Leigh's face the night before. I opened them and shook my head, then focused on a very broken Leigh.

"Not after last night." I said quietly.

Leigh looked at me with a confused expression on her face.

"You scared me last night, Leigh." I said, looking at my hands. "The way you looked at me, and the way you acted, scared me. I figured I could handle it, but I was wrong."

Leigh could barely hold back a sob. "I hurt you didn't I?"

"We both hurt each other yesterday." I tried to vaguely sidestep her question.

She rolled her eyes and rubbed her temples. "Quit screwing around Jilly. Did I hurt you last night when we were having sex?"

The urge to lie to her was overwhelming. I didn't want this to rip her apart. I looked at her, took her hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and nodded.

"Oh, Jilly. I'm so sorry."

"I know, Leigh." Somewhere deep inside I knew she didn't really mean to hurt me, she was just trying to quell the pain inside her. I walked around the island, gave her a gentle kiss, and walked out the door.

My first real adult relationship ended, all because of lie, and Jack Keating.

The End-for now.