~ Roadkill ~
by Planet-solin



Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

Comments: If you have any comments or suggestions please write planet-solin@england.com.



Chapter Four



Alex glanced around the restaurant. It was an expensive eatery that featured the finest European cuisine. It was a place on this Monday afternoon that was filled with businessmen. She recognized several faces as those belonging to the cities corporate elite.

"Anything new on the Kennedy case?" the question brought her attention back to her luncheon companion.

"No," she shook her head wincing inwardly and wondering if this were the reason the Commissioner had invited her to lunch..

"The press isn't being kind," the man reminded casually and Alex frowned staring at the food on the plate in front of her.

The man was being polite in his evaluation. The News media was still playing up the case and questioning the Department's competence in handling the murder. She knew the public was nervous at the thought of a child killer loose in the city and the Lieutenant wished quietly that some other scandal would develop to take their attention off the matter.

"There isn't much more we can do right now," she said. "The detective in charge is building a solid case. We have identified the suspect and posted advisory's to all agencies across the country and even up into Canada."

The man nodded eyeing his beautiful companion thoughtfully before taking another bite of his food. He knew the Unit was doing it's best but he was in an awkward position, getting flak from not only the media and the public but also from the Mayor who was seeing this as a black mark for his upcoming re-election campaign. He decided not to press the issue for the moment.

"Otherwise, how are you settling in Alexandria?" the Commissioner's voice made her look up. "Are they giving you a hard time?"

"Did you expect them to welcome me with open arms?" she answered with a hint of sarcasm.

"No," the man conceded with a reluctant sigh. "I had hoped that they would be civil."

"They are...just barely," Alex admitted taking a bite of her food. "I have to admit George, the place is a mess. I'm not even sure I can make a difference."

"Is it that bad?" the man asked with a grimace.

"There is a prevailing apathy among the detectives and the other Lieutenant's are to busy with their political posturing to worry about solving cases," the Lieutenant allowed her frustration to show. "Hell, you have them assigning cases to whomever on a random basis. If it's solvable they give it to their favourite detective, if it's not they'll assign it to someone they want to screw.

"They send lone detectives regularly out to interview suspects. Hell, they've had one detective working on her own without veteran supervision for close to six months of the ten she's been in the Unit."

"Are you talking about Sydney Davis?" the man was not unfamiliar with some of the details of what was happening in the Unit.

"Yes."

"You know she's gay."

"And that makes a difference?" Alex felt her nostrils flare. She wanted to shout with joy over this small bit of news, yet she kept her emotions in check. If nothing else was accomplished with this meeting then at least she had learned some valuable information.

"Not officially," the Commissioner said vaguely.

"What about unofficially?"

"Well, you know....," the man was suddenly uncomfortable. He knew that his companion had once been engaged to a man, but since the engagement had been broken off he had heard rumours. Not that it made any difference to him. "The reality Alexandria is that in spite of policy, the homicide unit is still very much an old boys bastion. The only thing they resent more then women in their ranks, is women who want to be men."

"Bullshit George," this time Alex did explode. "That's the most archaic thinking I've heard in a long time. If the men think that way it's only because the top brass allows them too. Change your attitude and they will change as well. Christ, I don't know any gay women that want to be men."

The Commissioner sat for a long moment staring at the woman. He had known her since she was a child and had watched her grow up into the beautiful woman she had become. He had been absurdly pleased when she had decided to attend the Police Academy. In all that time he had never seen her as anything but calm, even in anger, and that was why this emotional outburst was puzzling.

"What's going on Alexandria?" he was a blunt man, not afraid of asking the delicate questions. "This display of temper isn't like you. I've never seen you this passionate about anything."

"The thing is George, I have a several young sergeant's on my team who could have been great detectives if they had been trained properly and treated right. I'm hoping I can still salvage them but it makes me angry to know that all my work could have been avoided if someone from the top brass had just stepped in and put his foot down. I just wonder how many other good cops are only just mediocre because of poor leadership."

George Ford sat back and allowed the woman the chance to say her peace. He respected her opinion which was the reason he had hired her in the first place. She had a proven track record and he was depending on her to clean up the Homicide Unit. Now that she was doing it he couldn't back away when the criticism was turned in his direction.

"There are problems but we are all human," he conceded and then looked intently across at her. "What I need to know is how can we solve the situation?"

Alex knew it was more difficult then just replacing people. But she also knew that they had to start some place. There were tough decisions to be made if the Commissioner was serious about turning things around. Some of those decisions would be unpopular. She bluntly told him what she thought and then left the man with several ideas how to improve the situation.

The next week was unusually busy with a higher then normal amount of suspicious deaths. Fortunately most were either suicides or easily explained by coroners reports. However, there were two legitimate murders and they were given to the officers at the head of the rotation that the Lieutenant had implemented.

Sydney didn't get a chance to see much of Alex during that week as the Lieutenant was busy with meetings. It wasn't until Thursday morning that she had a chance to talk to the tall, dark haired woman.

"Listen, I don't know whether you're busy tonight but we're getting together to have a pick-up game and I was wondering if you were interested in coming along?" she felt nervous asking, afraid of being rejected.

"I have a meeting this afternoon," Alex said wishing she could think of some excuse to miss the appointment. "What time do you play?"

"We usually start about five and go until everyone's exhausted," Sydney said feeling a measure of disappointment.

"Well, give me the address and I'll see if I can get out early," the Lieutenant said and the blond detective hastily scribbled out an address on a blank scrap of paper.

"I hope I see you there," Sydney called as she watched the other woman walk away. She didn't hold her breath though. Lately the Lieutenant had been in constant demand by the Commissioner and most of her day was spent in Departmental meetings.

As it happened the meeting was cancelled and Alex was called into the Commissioners office to meet with the Mayor. For more than an hour they discussed the situation before finally coming to an agreement on a solution that was acceptable to all of them.

Alex left the meeting with a slight headache, aware that she should be pleased by the results yet she was left strangely dissatisfied. She would have liked to think that the Mayor and the Commissioner had worked out a compromise for the best interests of the Department but all she could think of was that they had resolved the situation to the best advantage for their individual careers and that made her feel disgusted and dirty.

She sighed, aware of how their decision directly impacted her own life. She did not look forward to the next few weeks and mentally began to prepare herself for the hostility that she knew would be thrown in her direction. She had been placed in awkward positions before and was able to handle it, the only thing she worried about was the situation with Sydney.

What situation? she thought morosely to herself. She wanted a relationship with the younger woman. She was more attracted to the blond detective then she had been to anyone in her thirty four years. Yet now she wondered if she was willing to risk her future for such an involvement. Despite those thoughts, an hour later she found herself at the corner of King St and Marion Ave.

St. Mary's was an inner city school whose fenced in yard housed a dozen basketball courts. On each court there were about a dozen people and her blue eyes searched for a familiar face. She finally found it amongst a group of tall black men. A smile came to her lips. Not only was Sydney one of the few women on the court but she was also the only white person.

Alex collected her gym bag from the trunk of her car and then strolled casually around the fence taking up a position at the side of the court where the blond detective was standing. She glanced sideways at the few others who were lounging nearby. She saw the weary and somewhat insolent looks they cast in her direction but she ignored them as she turned her attention back towards the court.

As if sensing her commander's presence Sydney glanced up. She felt a smile break across her face and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the tall woman. She left her companions and trotted over, wishing she could give the woman a kiss or a hug but she was limited only to nodding a casual greeting.

"You made it," she smiled and Alex was reminded of how pretty the woman was. She saw that the smile reached up into the flashing green eyes and her heart swelled with emotion.

"The meeting was cancelled," she shrugged.

"I'm glad," Sydney's grin widened. "Come on I'll introduce you to the guys. I've already told them about you."

Alex nodded and followed the smaller woman over to a group of tall gentlemen who were shooting hoops and warming up. The blonde detective introduced her and while the men weren't overtly hostile she sensed a suspicion on their part and she guessed that many if not all of them had been in trouble with the law at one time or another. Not that she cared. She was here for only one reason. Sydney. Even the game of basketball took second place. If the younger woman had played softball, she would have taken up the sport.

The players were divided up with the women being placed on opposing teams. It was obvious at first that the men were sceptical of Alex's playing ability but by the first break they were nodding their heads with grudging respect.

"You're good man," a tall thin man with a wide smile said and Alex knew then that she had been accepted. "Sydney said you were but we all thought she was a little bias seeing that she likes you and all."

She likes me, the Lieutenant thought with glee but ignored the swell of happiness that surged through her body, keeping her attention on the man.

"I played university ball at Southern Cal, though it's been a few years since then."

"You ain't lost nothin' lady and if you have you must have been awesome," the man called Skinny raved. His praise did not go unnoticed by two black women who were standing nearby. They seemed to have taken an instant dislike to the new arrival.

"You're pretty good yourself," Alex replied. "Did you play college ball?"

"No, weren't recruited," Skinny shook his head regretfully.

"It's too bad, whoever scouted you wasn't very smart, you're a good player," the Lieutenant praised the man's talent and he blushed shyly.

"Thank you," he said and Alex knew that she had made a friend.

"Don't be thanking her for nothin'," one of the black women watching shouted, having overheard the conversation. "She's just jacking you up Skinny. You play like shit, that's why no college recruited you."

Alex looked at the heckler and felt the hair at the back of her neck rise. She could sense trouble and these two women were that, but she wasn't one to back down from anything. The people around them had grown silent as if sensing a confrontation.

"Come on, ignore them," Skinny said hoping to defuse the situation but Alex wasn't in a mood to be messed with.

"You think you can do a better job?" she baited the women who smiled and straightened up.

"I could wipe the court clean with your skinny white ass," the black woman taunted.

"You think so," Alex felt her temper rise though it was completely under control. "Then we should have a game and see."

"Anytime you want bitch."

"How about right now? Your friend and you against my friend and me," the Lieutenant challenged and felt a gentle hand come to rest on her arm. She looked down to see Sydney standing next to her with a concerned expression on her face. She ignored it and turned back to the women. "What do you say?"

"I'm for it bitch and when we win you will have to each kiss my black ass," the woman smiled crudely.

"And when we win, you will keep your black mouth shut," and with that she grabbed the ball and walked to the center of the court to wait for their opponents to warm up. Sydney trailed slowly behind.

There was a frown on the younger woman's face as she rubbed the side of her nose thoughtfully. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not one who likes to kiss anyone's ass," Sydney was honest not entirely happy she had been dragged into this mess. "You should have just ignored Chandra. She likes to think she owns this territory."

"Then how did she let you in?" Alex asked almost afraid to know the answer.

"She hasn't, she can't stand me. The only reason I'm still here is that the guys run interference."

"I'm sorry if I mucked things up for you," the Lieutenant sighed aware that she had allowed her temper to rule her better judgement. "It's been a rough day and I really hate braggarts."

"She is that," Sydney agreed reluctantly, resigning herself to her fate. "You should know that both of them played for Washington State and were scouted for the national team."

"But they didn't get selected did they?" Alex pointed out and the smaller woman shook her head. "Then don't worry. Just play like you did the other day against me."

"That was different," the blond woman groused and the Lieutenant smiled and ruffled her hair.

"Trust me," Alex smiled impishly, "and if we lose I'll kiss your ass too."

Her promise didn't give Sydney any incentive to win. The thought of the Lieutenant's lips on any part of her body was enough to make her grow warm all over. However, the idea of deliberately losing was completely extinguished by the arrogant and cocky attitude of their opponents.

Skinny and another black gentleman by the name of Watson volunteered to referee. As expected the play was rough and Alex recognized early that their opposition had considerable talent but she was confident in her own skill, reassured that they were no match for Sydney and herself. As she had thought, they worked well together instinctively anticipating the others move.

The two black women started off by talking trash but their words had no effect. Alex smiled to herself, realizing that these women had obviously forgotten that they were cops and therefore mentally immune to the verbal jibs and harassment that was being tossed at them.

When it became obvious that their insults were gaining them no advantage the two black women began to play a more physical game. More then once Skinny called a flagrant foul though mostly he allowed the match to proceed of its own accord and as the game progressed so did Sydney's confidence.

The blond detective was amazed by her companion's ability, awed by the moves Alex displayed. It was obvious that the Lieutenant had not played anywhere near her potential in their game of one on one. Chandra and Aretha were good yet they seemed quite ordinary as the tall dark haired woman dribbled easily through their defenses. More then once her actions and movements caused their growing audience to cheer and clap. Sydney felt an inordinate amount of pride at her companion's skill.

"Are you ready to give up yet?" Alex asked with a sneer as she looked at the two women whose exhaustion was beginning to show. She had just finished scoring her third unanswered goal.

"Never, bitch," Chandra replied with a curl of her lip.

"To bad for you. I can go all night," the Lieutenant taunted glancing at her blond partner who was drenched in sweat. Their eyes met. "All night."

Sydney felt her heart flutter, somehow knowing that her companion wasn't referring to basketball any more. Perhaps it had been the subtle drop of her voice and its low seductive tone. She wasn't certain but it caused a delicious shiver to run through her body.

Play started again and even as the other women felt their energy dropping Alex seemed to become more invigorated and her aura enveloped Sydney who was determined to keep pace with her companion. It was Skinny who finally called an end to the match, much to the protests of Chandra and her partner.

"What you talking about girl?" the man snorted in contempt. "Whitey done whipped you asses. They're so far ahead, you'd have to play by yourself for an hour to even come close."

"Ho bitch, we ain't done," Chandra pointed a skinny finger in their direction as Alex and Sydney started to walk off the court.

"Yes we are," Alex turned and stepped up to the woman. "You lost, be gracious, and if I ever hear you have been giving my girl over there grief, I'll come back and I won't be so polite next time."

Then without another word the Lieutenant turned and walked over to where Sydney was standing. She casually draped a long arm across the smaller woman's shoulders and gave her a hug which did nothing good for the blond woman's composure. Even sweaty the tall woman smelt great.

"You were fantastic," Sydney stammered conscious of the way the woman's presence set her whole body aflame.

"Well, there wasn't any way I was going to lose to those women. I don't just kiss anybodies ass," Alex replied with a sly grin. "I told you we were an unbeatable combination."

"Yeah you did," the smaller detective agreed and felt the warmth of the woman leave as the arm dropped away.

"You guys were great," Skinny gushed as he strolled over to join them. There was a huge grin on his face. Both women lifted their hands and they gave the man a friendly slap. "I didn't recognize you but some of those moves they sure were familiar, what did you say your last name was?"

"Marshall," the Lieutenant said easily and if the smile on the man's face could get any bigger, it did.

"I know you," Skinny let out a laugh. "You played for the National Squad."

"Yep, for three years," came the modest reply.

"Why'd you quit girl, you still have all the moves?" the man wanted to know.

"I also have a job I love," Alex said quietly aware that the blond detective was watching the exchange with intense interest.

"Too bad girl," the man shook his head sadly. "Are we gonna see you here again?"

"That depends on my friend," came the solemn reply and for a moment blue and green eyes met.

"She'll be back," Sydney spoke for the first time and Alex nodded feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. She turned to look at the man and grinned.

"I'll be back," she said and the man nodded before wandering back to his friends.

"You never told me you played for the National Squad," the blond woman accused when they were alone. She could understand now why the woman had been so arrogant.

"You never asked," the Lieutenant shrugged. She was never entirely comfortable discussing herself.

"So when we played, you were taking it easy on me," the small woman said and her companion snorted.

"Don't give me so much credit, you're good Sydney, way better then those women we just played against," Alex straightened and looked down at the other woman. "They tried to be fancy which doesn't work with players who have real skill. You work hard and that's more important then any tricks."

Sydney glowed under the praise and hastily averted her eyes least she show something that she didn't want the other woman to see.

"Listen, we still have a few hours before we have to be on shift, do you want to grab something to eat?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," Alex nodded. "It will have to be some place where they don't mind a few smelly women."

"I know the perfect spot," the blond detective smiled. "It's a small pub just down the street. It looks like a dive but the food's great and the Italian couple welcome everyone."

"Let's go," the taller woman agreed.

The restaurant was packed with what Alex concluded was several football clubs but they were still able to find an empty table against the wall. They sat down, savouring the delicious aromas that filled the place.

"I had fun today," she said once they had placed their order. "Thanks for inviting me."

"You're welcome, any time."

"Are you sure?" the Lieutenant was serious. "Some people are pretty tight on having their own space. I don't want to seem like I'm moving into your territory."

"I'm not the territorial type," the blond woman smiled easily and stretched out her aching muscles. "You know I almost considered throwing the game."

"Oh?" finely shaped eyebrows disappeared beneath damp bangs. This admission caught Alex off guard.

"Yeah, the thought of my boss kissing my ass was almost to tempting," Sydney chuckled.

It might yet just happen, Alex thought and allowed herself a moment to fantasize about that moment. She felt the heat of her body rise and swiftly thought of something else.

"So how was it you got too hang with these guys?" the Lieutenant asked sipping on the cold mug of beer that the waitress brought.

"We all went to St. Judes down the street," the blond woman explained. "Skinny and Watson were

on the boy's varsity squad the same time I was on the girl's team. During road trips we used to hang together because we were from out of the district and not really apart of the groups that the others hung with. We stayed friends after high school."

"Are they tied in with any of the area's gangs?"

"Not really," Sydney was careful with her response. "They're loosely affiliated but only because they live in the area. Both have wives and children and good jobs with the city. They don't want to mess that up."

Alex nodded realizing her first impression of the men were correct. She had seen the gang colours on some of the players but most of them seemed to be independents which was probably a tough decision if they were living in this neighbour.

"Listen I managed to get a hold of a couple of tickets to a Sonics, Bulls game for next Friday and I was wondering if you'd like to join me?" Alex asked feeling more nervous then she looked. "Of course you'll have to put up with my brother and his wife, but they're huge fans."

"I'd love to go," Sydney accepted feeling a burst of happiness swell her heart.

"Great," the dark haired woman was delighted. "I could pick you up and we could go out to dinner first."

"That sounds great," the blond woman agreed wondering if she would be able to contain her excitement. Seven days was a long time and not even the thought of meeting members of the Lieutenant's family could dampen her enthusiasm.

Fortunately it was a busy week and her time was occupied but she was unable to keep the smile off her face when she saw the Lieutenant that Thursday evening at St. Mary's. She shook her head trying hard to remind herself that she wasn't a teenager anymore but a grown woman.

Like the previous week they were put on opposing teams but neither of them minded for they personally put themselves in charge of defending each other, something the others players naturally accepted.

The game was competitive with allot of good natured trash talk and plenty of physical contact between the two women. It was more playful in nature then mean spirited and both women noticed that their hands stayed on each others back or hips longer then was necessary. It was as if they needed this connection.

"Do you want to grab a bite to eat?" Alex asked when they were packing up to leave after the game.

"Sure," Sydney was delighted. "I know the perfect place."

"Then I'll drive," the Lieutenant offered and together they drove the few blocks to a popular sports bar.

"Do you just have the one brother?" Sydney asked once they were seated. She hadn't had much chance to talk to the other woman over the week.

"No, I have three brothers. I'm the youngest in the family and the only girl. Andrew is three years older then me, then there's Charlie who is six years older and finally Lawrence who will be turning forty four in a few days."

"Do they all play basketball?"

"All except Laurie," Alex replied with a hint of a smile at the thought. "He was never much interested in sports though there were numerous colleges who tried to recruit him. All he ever wanted to be was a lawyer like our father."

"What do your other brothers do?" The blond woman wasn't normally interested in other people's families yet she had a desire to know everything about her companion.

"They are also lawyers," the dark haired woman admitted with wry amusement. "The fact is all of us graduated with law degrees and everyone with the exception of myself, practice at my fathers legal firm."

"Which one is that?" Sydney asked out of curiosity uncertain how to feel that her companion was also a lawyer.

"Marshall and Fryer," Alex said absently studying their surroundings and missing the startled reaction of her younger companion.

The blond detective recognized the name. It was a highly respected legal firm that was nationally known and the Marshall family were the cream of Seattle society. She hadn't even considered that Alex was related in any manner to those people. Everything began to make sense now, especially the swanky apartment.

"How come you're the odd man out?" she asked feeling slightly numb and it had nothing to do with the alcohol she was consuming. "Didn't you want to work for your father?"

"I will eventually when I want to settle down but right now I'm happy with what I'm doing," the other woman conceded.

"You haven't met anyone then who you want to settle down with?" Sydney asked casually. She knew the question was intensely personal yet she had an deep desire to know where this woman was standing on the emotional level.

Yes, you, Alex wanted to say but she kept her mouth shut and was relieved that the waitress chose that moment to bring their food. When she spoke again it was on a different subject and Sydney took the hint and didn't prod the tall woman for an answer.

Before parting that evening they agreed to meet at four thirty the next afternoon. Sydney stood on the stoop to her building contemplating what she had learned about the Lieutenant. She watched as the lights to her companion's car faded down the street before turning and entering the apartment.

Sydney left work early the next day wanting to be ready when Alex arrived to pick her up. At precisely four thirty she was sitting out on the stoop waiting. A wait that wasn't very long for barely had she sat down when a familiar grey sedan pulled up to the curb. She hopped up and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Hi," Alex smiled and immediately felt a change come over her mood. It had been a stressful day and she had been in meetings all morning and afternoon. She looked forward to this evening.

"Hi," the blond detective beamed extraordinarily pleased to see the woman. The Lieutenant hadn't been in the office all day.

The restaurant Alex choose was a popular place near the arena. Sydney was half afraid that the woman's brother and sister-in-law would join them but they were alone and for that she was grateful. She was nervous about meeting the Lieutenant's family, anxious to make a good impression, particularly since learning who her companion was. As if sensing her mood Alex did everything in her power to put her companion at ease by keeping the conversation light.

They discussed an amazing range of topics and over the course of the meal Alex came too realize that they were very compatible. She had never felt that way about any of her previous relationships. Not even Barry the man she had been engaged too. She thought about that for a minute as she stared across the table at her companion who was telling her some story.

Today more than ever before she was happy that she hadn't made the mistake of marrying the man. She had never felt even half the emotion for him that she did for her companion and something told her that the feeling would only get more intense and stronger as time went by. She would have missed this wonderful feeling if she had gotten married the way everyone wanted. She would have missed knowing what real love was all about.

"Hey are you still in there?" Sydney said uncertainly, seeing the distant look in the other woman's eyes. She worried that she was boring her companion.

"I'm sorry," Alex focused back on the present. "I was just thinking of my ex-fiancee."

"Oh," the blond detective didn't know what too say as a lazy smile crossed the other woman's lips.

"I was just thinking how glad I am that I didn't get married. If I had I wouldn't have been able to be here with you," was the unexpected reply and there was something in the blue eyes that made Sydney blush.

"Oh!"

Alex smiled, memorizing the pretty features that were suddenly stained pink. Her heart beat wildly and she wished they weren't going to the game but back to her apartment. She shook her head to dispel those thoughts and casually glanced at her watch.

"We better go if we don't want to be late."

She likes me, she likes me, the words bounced giddily around Sydney's head making her feel happier then she had ever believed possible. She knew for certain now that her companion was interested in more then just friendship.

The arena was almost full by the time they arrived and Sydney was pleasantly surprised to find that their seats were courtside though after what she had seen in her companion's eyes at dinner they could have sat on the roof and she would have been content.

Andrew Marshall was a male version of his sister, only marginally heavier. His wife Christie was also tall, only a few inches shorter then Alex, but with short blond hair. They were polite and friendly when her companion made the introductions.

"I feel like a dwarf," Sydney muttered standing amongst the trio.

"Good, until now I have always been the short one in the family," Christie laughed. "It's nice to meet you Sydney, its so seldom we get to meet any of Alex's friends."

"That's because I'm afraid you'll scare them off," Alex growled good naturedly.

"And you didn't think I'd be scared?" the blond detective asked inquisitively and for a moment blue and green eyes met.

"No, I think you can handle them," came the amused reply before the Lieutenant looked at her brother. "Aren't you going to buy us some beer?"

"All right, on my way," the man bobbed his head before sauntering off towards the concession stands.

The women sat down with Sydney on one side of Alex and Christie on the other. For awhile the smaller woman listened contentedly as the two women traded family gossip. From the little she could discern Andrew and Christie had three children, a girl and two boys of which only two were of school age.

Andrew returned with their beer just before tip off and from then on they concentrated on the match. Sydney had never been to a Sonics game but she knew all the players and cheered as loudly as the others when a great move was executed and a basket scored.

Alex watched her companion with amusement and pride, noticing that she got as excited and vocal as her brother who had a tendency to jump out of his seat when there was a bad call by the referees.

"I think they make a good pair," Christie said with wry amusement as she looked from her shouting husband to her sister-in-law's excited friend, both who had gotten to their feet to give their opinion on a disputed call.

"Yeah," Alex smiled indulgently unable to hide her adoration for the smaller woman. Her sister-in-law chuckled and squeezed her hand affectionately.

Sydney was having the best time of her life. Not only was it a good game but the company was exceptional. More then once Alex lay a hand on her thigh to catch her attention to whisper something in her ear. Then the taller woman would leave it there longer then necessary which made the blond detective careful not to jump out of her chair to often. Finally the half time buzzer rang with the score tied.

"Come on," Andrew said grabbing his sisters hand. "We need more beer."

Alex had no option but to join the man, aware that he wasn't bringing her along just for the company. He had the grace to wait until they were standing in line at the concession stand before speaking.

"Sydney seems like a nice girl," he remarked casually uncertain how to open the conversation.

"She's a woman Andrew," was the dry response and the man flushed.

"Sorry," he looked at her intently. "Are you serious about her?"

"We aren't even dating," Alex sighed aware that her brother would persist until he had all the answers he wanted. The man raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You're sure cozy for not dating," he snorted sceptically.

"We're friends," came the stoic reply. "We've only known each other for a few weeks."

"Only known each other for a few weeks and you're already bringing her to a Soncis game. She must be special."

"She is," Alex conceded simply unable to lie and her brother chuckled.

"So when are you taking her home to meet the folks?"

"I don't think any of us are ready for that yet," the woman shook her head. "Besides I don't want to jinx this."

Andrew knew then that his sister cared deeply for her friend. Alex had always been a very private person and they had rarely met any of the men she dated. She had been engaged for a month before they had met her former fiancee and since she had announced that she was gay none of them had seen her with anyone. He knew it was in her nature to keep things low key which was why this appearance tonight was a bit of a surprise.

He glanced sideways at her profile. She was a beautiful woman and more then one of his friends had begged him to set them up with her. He had always thought he would feel weird about her new situation but watching her with the smaller woman it had seemed okay. No, it had seemed better then okay, it seemed strangely right.

"She is cute," he said with a smile and a corresponding one broke across his sister's normally dour features.

"I think so," Alex couldn't help the grin that spread across her face.

"And short," he burst out laughing and she playfully slapped him on the arm.



Sydney watched with some trepidation as Alex was marched off by her brother. She leaned back in her chair not entirely sure that they weren't being set up. She glanced pensively at the other woman uncertain what to say.

"So how long have you known Alex?" Christie opened the conversation aware that her husband would pump her for the details later. She was more then a little curious herself.

"Several weeks," Sydney replied deciding to keep her answers to a brief uncertain how much Alex wanted her family to know.

"Where did you meet?"

"We work together," she said simply not comfortable talking about herself. "How long have you been married?"

"More then ten years," the other woman admitted with a little amazement and then smiled. "It was

Alex who introduced us. We were playing basketball at university together and she invited me home for Thanksgiving, and the rest as they say was history."

"Did you get married right away?"

"No, we dated for about four years," Christie answered. "Andrew wanted to be set up as a lawyer before we got married. That's one thing you will find out about the Marshall family. They set certain objectives for themselves and then work towards them with the exclusion of everything else."

"It must have been hard for you," came the quiet reply but the taller blond woman shook her head.

"No, I knew that Andrew loved me so I was willing to wait until he was ready."

There was silence as Sydney contemplated this information. She glanced sideways at her companion realizing that this woman could probably answer a lot of questions that she was afraid to ask Alex.

"You must have known her fiancee?"

"Yes," Christie nodded.

"What was he like?"

"He was polite, respectable, from a good family," the woman thought hard on how she could describe the man. "He was a solid character."

"But?"

"But I never thought he was right for her," the woman sighed. "I adore Alex, she is my best friend outside of my husband, but she never seemed completely happy. Not like with you."

"With me?" Sydney squeaked and the other woman smiled.

"Yes," Christie nodded. "Maybe you don't notice but her face positively glows when she looks at you."

The smaller woman was stunned into silence. Her heart trembled, as the woman's words bounced around her head. She didn't know what to think.

"Alex is like the rest of her family," the other woman said aware that she had put her companion off balance. "They are slow to act, almost methodical in nature but when they fall in love they are absolutely devoted to you. So many people in their position use it as a licence to do what they went but not the Marshalls'. I think what I like most about the family is their sense of responsibility, the fact that they care for others as much as they care for themselves."

There was time to comment as Alex and her brother choose that moment to return with their refreshments. For a brief instant blue and green eyes met and the Lieutenant suddenly felt concerned. From the exit she had seen Christie and Sydney talking. She was curious about what had been said.

"Are you all right?" she asked quietly and Sydney smiled softly, laying her hand upon the other woman's thigh and rubbing gently.

"I'm fine."

Alex wasn't certain she could accept that answer at face value but she knew she could trust Christie not to say anything stupid. Before they could continue the conversation, the whistle blew to start the second half and everything else was forgotten as they turned their attention back to cheering their team onto victory. In the end, after an exciting fourth quarter, the Bulls upset the home team by four points. But it didn't seem to matter to the fans who had been treated to a good game filled with lots of action.

Both women were silent as they drove through the city. Sydney wished the night didn't have to end but all to soon they pulled up to the curb outside her building. She looked at her tall companion, her mind going round in circles. She thought of inviting her companion inside but then tossed out that idea, still uncertain about what was happening between them.

"Thank you, I really enjoyed myself."

"I'm glad," Alex smiled wanting nothing more than to reach out and kiss the other woman. But she contained herself. "My brother really liked you so I don't think it should be hard to get a few more tickets out of him."

"I'd like that," Sydney said and for a moment an awkward silence filled the car. She was indecisive but she turned to look at her companion. "Alex can I ask you something?"

"Sure," the other woman nodded.

"Were we just out on a date?"

Alex caught her breath. It wasn't the question she had been expecting. She swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat. She knew she could lie but she didn't want to. She wanted to get to know this woman more intimately and to do that she would have to be honest.

"Yes," she said softly and then watched as a brilliant smile lit up the other woman's face. Before she could guess her companion's intentions, Sydney was leaning across the seat kissing her.

Alex felt the touch of the woman's soft lips against her own, at first tentatively and then with more passion. Neither could remember how long the kiss lasted but it was still to short. She gasped when the younger woman finally leaned away.

"Goodnight," Sydney said before bolting out of the car, not believing what she had done, yet unable to feel any regret. She would worry later, right now she was content to savour the happiness she felt.

Alex sat staring after the other woman until she had disappeared safely inside the building. It took all her self control not to rush after the blond detective and demand more than a kiss. Her whole body was inflamed and quietly she accepted the truth. Despite her best intentions she would not be able to leave this woman alone. She would risk everything to be with the Sydney.

She turned the car back out onto the street and wondered how she would get through the next couple days, without seeing the younger woman. She couldn't and early the next morning she got the girl's number from work and called.

"Hello," the voice on the other end of the line sounded groggy.

"Sydney," Alex was suddenly very nervous. She was still relatively new at this dating thing and she wasn't entirely certain what was acceptable. "It's Alex, I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No, it's all right I wasn't sleeping," the blond woman lied sitting up in bed and peering at the clock. It was eight in the morning. "What's up?"

"I was just going to take the sailboat out and I was wondering if you'd like to come along," the Lieutenant felt like a nervous school girl.

"Yes," Sydney barely waited for the woman to finish speaking before giving her answer. She knew that this was an invitation she wouldn't turn down for anything. "Where do you want to meet?"

"I'll pick you up," Alex said a wide smile breaking out on her face. "Can you be ready in an hour?"

"Yes, should I bring anything?"

"No, just dress warm, the wind can get pretty chilly out on the water," the other woman said before ringing off.

"Yahoo!" Sydney shrieked replacing the phone and jumping out of bed. She bounced around the room giving in to her excitement for a moment before rushing into the bathroom to start getting ready.

Precisely at the hour Alex pulled up outside the building where Sydney was once again waiting on the stoop. She couldn't keep the silly grin off her face, her heart brimming with emotion.

"Good morning," she greeted cheerfully as she climbed into the vehicle.

"Good morning," Alex smiled and then because the other woman had broken the barrier between them, she leaned over and kissed her. Sydney returned the embrace aware that her action the previous evening had given her this reward.

"I think we better get going," the Lieutenant finally breathed breaking the embrace, aware that her heart was thundering inside her chest and that certain parts of her body had grown very warm.

"Yeah," Sydney nodded her lips tingling and her body flushed with desire.

The boat to which Alex had been referring was a single mast sailboat. The sky was grey but the sea was calm and Sydney eagerly anticipated the trip. So often she had watched from shore as the boats in the harbour had sailed out to sea and wondered about the people who were on them. Today she was one of those people and it felt great to be on the other side of the scene.

The craft was small enough for one person to handle so the blond woman sat back and watched as her companion deftly manoeuvred the boat out of the channel traffic before swiftly setting the sail. She stared at her tall companion memorized by the sight of the long dark hair flowing in the wind. She took a deep breath and looked away realizing she could get lost in the woman.

The day was beautiful but as Alex had suggested the wind was chilly, cooling off considerably the further they got from shore. Sydney had dressed warmly, covering her body in several layers of sweaters and flannel shirts with a down vest over top yet she couldn't help the shivers that raced across her skin.

Alex glanced at her companion. She usually liked to take the boat out on her own and didn't know what possessed her to invite the woman along. But of course she knew. She liked Sydney and she wanted to share everything in her life with the blond woman. Just as she had that thought she saw the girl tremble.

"Hey," she called out and capturing the blond's attention she motioned to a spot just in front of her.

Sydney eagerly scrambled across the deck to the padded seat in front of the other woman, settling in a spot between a pair of long legs. Once she was seated Alex grabbed a thick blanket and draped it over her friend before pulling her back against her own body. The blond woman immediately felt the warmth of her companion and the possessive weight of the Lieutenant's arm which was casually draped across her chest. She leaned back and enjoyed the ride.

The smaller woman didn't know how long they were out on the water and she didn't really care. She was just incredibly happy with her companion wrapped around her body. More than once she allowed her imagination to soar, wondering what it would be like to make love to this woman. She trembled at the thought.

"Are you still cold?" Alex whispered in her ear having felt the shiver run through her companion's body.

"No," Sydney shook her head with a blush wondering what this woman would say if she knew the truth. She turned her head slightly to a point where their faces were side by side. "What would you do if I was?"

"This," the other woman chuckled and wrapped her long legs around the woman drawing her more tightly against her body.

Sydney closed her eyes, moaning softly at the contact and wishing she could just turn around and wrap herself around her companion. But she pushed down that desire, willing herself to remain in control. They sailed for several hours before Alex turned the boat back towards land.

"Would you like to get something to eat?" Alex asked when the boat was moored once more alongside the dock. They had shared some sandwiches earlier in the day but that had seemed like hours ago.

"I'd love that," Sydney agreed. She wouldn't turn down any invitation that meant spending more time in this woman's company. The restaurant Alex chose this time was a seafood place and the younger woman dug heartily into her plate of food.

"I really enjoyed myself," Sydney said contentedly and Alex stared at her for a long moment, seeing the healthy flush of her cheeks. "I've never been on a sailboat before."

"Well, then I'm glad I invited you along," Alex was unexpectedly pleased with this knowledge. She wanted to be there for as many firsts with this woman as she could.

The rest of the meal was spent in quiet conversation and the tall woman found herself laughing more than she had ever done before, realizing that her companion had a vicious sense of humour and a talent for telling a good story. She was sorry when it was time to leave.

"Listen would you like to come over and watch a movie?" she asked not ready to end the day. Sydney nodded quite content to let this woman make the decisions. "What do you like?"

"Action adventures," came the impish response and Alex laughed casually draping an arm across the woman's shoulders as they left the restaurant.

"How could I not guess?" she rolled her eyes.

They stopped at a video store not far from where Alex lived and after much debate they settled on an action film called Ronin starring Robert De Niro. They returned to her apartment while her hostess put a bag of popcorn in the microwave, she popped the video into the machine and settled onto the soft leather sofa in the den were the television and VCR were located.

Alex wasn't usually a fan of action movies, she had seen to much of it in real life to want to watch it on film but she was pleasantly surprised by how much she enjoyed the video. Sydney enjoyed as much as she saw before the long day finally caught up with her.

The Lieutenant smiled as she noticed her friend sleeping soundly. She waited until the movie was over before deciding what to do. She knew she could wake her companion yet she was adverse to doing that. Instead she simply decided to let her spend the night on the sofa.

Carefully she swung the small woman's legs unto the couch, loosening the button and zipper on her jeans and pulling off her socks before draping a blanket over her slender frame and tucking a pillow under her head. She dropped a light kiss on the woman's brow before turning off the lights and retreating to the bedroom.



Chapter five



Sydney landed on the floor with a resounding thud. She lay for a moment in a daze, blinking rapidly and trying to recover her wits when a bleary, blue eyed woman peeked over the end of the sofa. There was a look of anxiety on the drowsy face, but Sydney saw none of that, concentrating instead on how incredibly sexy the woman looked with her tousled dark hair and long bare legs.

"Are you all right?" Alex asked with genuine concern. She had jumped out of bed, roused from her slumber by the crash, and had rushed into the den worried about her friend.

"Yeah, I guess I rolled off the chair," Sydney nodded rubbing the back of her head as she struggled to sit up. She glanced around suddenly realizing where she was and what had happened. She looked up at the other woman sheepishly. "Gosh, I fell asleep on you, that's so embarrassing."

"No problem, it happens," the tall woman replied with a lazy shrug. "Listen, it's still early, do you want to try to go back to sleep or do you want me to take you home?"

"I'll try to sleep," Sydney said realizing it was the middle of the night and unwilling to drag her friend out at this late hour.

"Okay," Alex nodded and made to turn away but paused, scratching her head. "Come on, my bed will be more comfortable then the sofa."

"Are you sure, the sofa here is okay," the blond woman said tentatively.

"Yeah," the dark haired woman gave her a lopsided smile and then reached out to help the smaller woman to her feet, letting the blanket fall to the floor. "I think I have a t-shirt that might fit. It will be more comfortable then what you're wearing."

Sydney nodded mutely allowing her hostess to led her into the bedroom all the while wondering how she was ever going to be able to sleep in the same bed as this woman. She swallowed her trepidation and watched as the tall woman dug an old Sonics t-shirt out of a drawer and tossed it at her.

"The bathroom is through there," she pointed to a door and Sydney nodded.

Just be calm, she told herself taking several deep breaths before exiting the bathroom. She looked across the room to where the Lieutenant was already lying in bed, her back turned in her direction. I can do this, the smaller woman thought before quietly switching off the lights and crawling under the sheets.

"You okay?" the dark haired woman asked drowsily rolling over to face her.

"Yeah," Sydney yawned.

"Good," came the muffled reply and it was followed not much later by a slight snore.

Sydney lay listening to the silence and willing herself to remain calm. She closed her eyes thinking that she couldn't be closer to heaven if she tried. Almost against her will she found herself drifting off to sleep.

By a strange coincidence they woke at the same time the next morning. During the night their bodies had naturally gravitated towards each other's heat and now they lay with their faces only inches apart and their limbs entangled beneath the sheets. Neither of them moved and for a long moment they just lay there silently, green eyes staring into blue, their hearts beating in rhythm.

Alex reached out and gently combed strands of blond hair behind the other woman's ear. So many mornings she had woken in the same fashion and each time she had felt awkward and anxious to be on her way. But there was no such feeling that morning. She began to lean forward when the phone rang. She was tempted to ignore it but it wouldn't stop ringing. It was almost as if the caller knew she was there.

"Yes!" she barked into the receiver making no attempt to hide her irritation.

"Good morning to you too dear," a slightly sarcastic voice answered and Alex cursed under her breath. She sat up and swung her long legs over the edge of the bed.

"Sorry mother, I....you just woke me up."

"Then it's a good thing I called," the older woman continued in a dry voice. "Have you forgotten about brunch today?"

"No... I mean yes...I can't make it," Alex replied glancing over her shoulder at the young woman who was laying quietly in bed. Total silence greeted her announcement. It was the kind of silence that told the dark haired woman that something was wrong.

"Have you forgotten we are celebrating Lawrence's birthday today?" there was a hint of reprimand in the voice. "You did promise to be here."

Shit! Alex thought closing her eyes. She knew her mother would never forgive her if she didn't show up. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It read ten.

"What time are you serving?" she asked with resignation.

"Eleven and don't sound so happy about it," the woman replied dryly. "What time will you be here?"

"Give me an hour," she said and watched with some dismay as Sydney rolled out of bed and padded over to the washroom.

"All right, we'll hold lunch until you arrive," her mother replied and by the time they rang off Sydney

had returned to the room fully dressed.

"Sorry," Alex shrugged helplessly as their eyes met.

"I understand," Sydney smiled though it didn't reach her eyes.

"Can I at least make you some breakfast?" Alex asked, inwardly cursing the phone call, aware that if she hadn't answered it she would be making love to this woman now.

"No, it's all right, I know you're in a hurry," the smaller woman shook her head running her fingers through her hair. "I'll just call a cab."

"If you can wait a few minutes until I shower, I'll drive you," Alex said rising to her feet, her eyes not leaving her companion.

"No, I can catch a taxi," the blond woman said unable to meet the intense blue gaze that was turned in her direction. Her companion moved so quietly that she didn't hear her cross the distance that separated them.

"No," the taller woman said softly grasping the smaller woman's chin and lifting it so that their eyes could meet. "I want to take you home...please."

For a long moment Sydney was captured by the fierce gaze and briefly she felt herself falling into those blue orbs. Her breathing became ragged and not trusting herself to speak she closed her eyes and nodded her head. A flood of pleasure washed over Alex and unable to resist she leaned forward and brushed her lips across the smaller woman's mouth before hurrying into the bathroom to shower.

The blond detective swayed and grabbed at the end of the bed so she wouldn't go crashing to the floor. She was no innocent but she had never been so overwhelmed by any one individual before. Somehow she managed to walk out of the bedroom into the living room, slumping into the nearest chair, still afraid her unsteady legs would give out.

She sat quietly, staring at the wall and thinking about the last forty eight hours. She had never felt such a whirlwind of emotions and she knew without a doubt that she was in love with her companion. It was a love that would have been consummated if the phone hadn't rung.

Damn, she cursed the invention and leaned her head back against the sofa, closing her eyes to wait for her friend to finish getting ready, knowing in her heart that with this woman it would be all or nothing.

She wanted to give it all. For the first time in her life she could see herself having everything that she had ever dreamed about but was afraid to go after. With Alex she could see herself settled with a family and all the things she never had as a child. For a long moment she allowed herself to daydream about that fantasy.

Alex hurried through her morning routine, showering and dressing quickly, aware that her companion was waiting. She paused in the hallway, her eyes coming to rest on the young woman who was so casually lounging on the sofa. It was strange but of everyone who had visited, Sydney was the only one who seemed comfortable. It was as if she fit into the picture. The thought caused her heart to skip a beat.

They had known each other for such a short time yet this woman had become so important to her.

In that moment she realized she would do anything for this small woman. She would go to the ends of the earth and back to protect her.

"You ready to go?" she asked abruptly, realizing that if she lingered any longer neither of them would be going anywhere.

"Yep," the blond woman was immediately on her feet.

The ride back to Sydney's apartment was done in almost total silence as both women were content to dwell on their own thoughts. There was an awkward moment when they finally arrived at their destination. Neither knew what to say.

"Thanks, I really enjoyed myself," Sydney said breaking the silence.

"I did too," Alex nodded. "What will you be doing with the rest of your day?"

"I'll probably do my laundry and clean the apartment," the blond woman crinkled her nose with a light smile.

"Sounds like fun," the Lieutenant flashed a tentative grin but it quickly faded. "Listen, if you get bored give me a call. I should be home later this afternoon."

"I will," Sydney nodded and then before it got any harder she hopped out of the car and hurried up the steps to her building.

The family had already sat down to eat by the time Alex arrived. She flashed an apologetic smile at her frowning mother as she slipped into a vacant chair and then pretended to concentrate on what was being said. As usual the topic of discussion revolved around a recent ruling by the Supreme Court.

She tried to show interest but her thoughts were elsewhere, unable to stop thinking of Sydney and wondering what the other woman was doing. Briefly she began to speculate how long she would have to stay before it was acceptable to leave. Certainly her mother would not be pleased if she only ate and ran, so she took a deep breath and resigned herself to remain at least for a few hours.

After dessert, they moved to the sitting room where the gifts were brought out and the toasts made. Alex had never been close to her eldest brother, the ten year difference in their ages sometimes seeming like a lifetime. They had nothing in common, not even sports, which was an interest she shared with her other siblings.

Of all her family, Lawrence was the one who most objected to her lifestyle, not that he dared to

express his opinion. They had been all brought up to respect other people's choices, but she could sense the subtle hints that he disagreed with how she lived her life. Not that she cared what he thought.

She glanced absently at her nieces and nephews who were sprawled on the floor playing a board game. They were having a slight argument about whose turn it was and with an amused smile she heard one accuse the other of cheating.

She felt a special warmth towards them and for the first time she thought it might be nice to have children of her own. Until now she had never seriously considered having a baby, theorizing that her life as a cop was to unstable. Yet there was still a part of her that hoped to have a family of her own.

Her thoughts drifted for a moment as she wondered whether Sydney had ever considered being a mother. It would be something she would have to ask the younger woman, though she knew it wouldn't matter what the answer was.

"Hey sis," Andrew tapped her arm, bringing her out of her thoughtful reverie, as he slipped into the chair next to her.

"What?"

"You seem to be way out there for a moment," he said with a wry smile. "Should I ask what or who you are thinking about?"

"Nothing important," she replied with a slight blush, embarrassed by the fact that he had caught her daydreaming. Her momentary confusion caused him to chuckle.

"Nothing important, right," he snorted. "I'll bet it was five and a half feet of blond hair and green eyes."

"Stop," she hissed with a glare, glancing fugitively at the rest of her family and glad that they had not heard any of their conversation. "That subject is strictly off limits."

"Okay, okay, I can take a hint," he said putting his hands up defensively.

"Good," she said and without another word she stood up and walked out of the room. She was quickly followed by several adoring children.

Andrew watched her retreat. He knew by his sister's reaction that the blond woman was no casual fling and that gave him cause for concern. He wanted Alex to be happy yet he was also worried about her future. He glanced about the room seeing that the rest of the family had not noticed her departure. By the stream of conversation it was unlikely either of them would be missed and so he slipped out after his younger sibling.

He found her by the garage on the basketball court surrounded by a rapt group of youngsters to whom she was demonstrating a few simple ball handling skills. He hung back and watched not missing the intelligent way she treated each child. It occurred to him that she would be a good mother. He waited a few minutes before joining them.

"So this is where you're hiding," he smirked, snatching the ball out of her hands and firing a shot at the basket. Their nephews shouted with glee as the sphere swished through the net. He turned to grin at his taller sibling.

"I'm not hiding," Alex retorted grabbing the ball as it came bouncing back towards them. "I'm just enjoying the company of my nieces and nephews."

She flashed a charming smile at the small group of children before spinning around on her heel and releasing the ball. They paused to watch as it sailed through the air and into the net. Her effort was rewarded by a cheer from the girls whom she acknowledged with a bow before trotting over to the retrieve the bouncing orb. With a quick spin she flipped a pass at her brother who was barely swift enough to grab it.

"I hear you're making waves over in homicide," he commented bouncing the ball a few times before tossing it into the air. The ball banged against the backboard and dropped into the net.

"Just doing what I was hired to do," she replied softly doing a lay up before flipping the ball back at the older man.

"Word has it that you're being bumped up the ladder," he commented quietly and Alex looked at him intently.

"Where did you hear that?" she demanded. Information about her new appointment wasn't supposed to be released until tomorrow at the press conference. It bothered her that someone had already gone ahead and leaked the news.

"I have friends all over the city," he replied flipping the ball and watching as it dropped neatly through the netting. His sister retrieved the sphere and bounced it a few times. "Is it true?"

"Yeah," she nodded relieved that she could finally confide in someone. "George Ford is serious about cleaning up the Department. He couldn't trust anyone currently in the chain of command to be objective so that's why I was hired."

"You realize there is going to be a hell of a fall out," he commented and she mutely nodded tossing the ball at the basket and watching as it swooshed cleanly through the netting.

"I'm used to it," she replied, seemingly unfazed by the prospect. She caught the bouncing ball and one handed it to her brother. "That's what I did in Chicago and L.A.. You forget that I have another degree besides law. I'm used to being the bad guy and taking all the flack."

Andrew thoughtfully bounced the ball a few times. He knew that Alex was a intelligent and tough character. She had graduated from Southern Cal with two degrees and then in the intervening years had earned not only a law degree but also a Masters of Business Administration. Her success at times was intimidating.

He had heard all the accolades from the Chicago and Los Angeles Police Departments where she had spent the last twelve years before accepting the job here. Everyone was familiar with her reputation and it was no secret why the current Commissioner had hired her. He concentrated on the shot for a moment before tossing the ball and watching as it hit the backboard and bounced into the hoop. This time he retrieved the ball.

"Christie told me that you met Sydney at work," he said idly and Alex glanced sharply in his direction as he snapped her the ball.

"Yes, she's a Detective Sergeant in the Homicide Unit," the woman confirmed, instinctively knowing that her brother was trying to get at something.

"Under the circumstances do you think that's wise, hanging around with her?" he was blunt with his question and without looking at him she tossed the ball sinking another clean shot.

"What are you getting at Andrew?" she grabbed the bouncing ball, and then in a tiny display of temper, flung it at him with more force then necessary.

"Nothing," he said shooting the ball and watching as it hit the rim and bounded away. Alex had to move quickly to catch it before it bounced off the court. "But can I give you a word of advice?"

"What?" she asked in a tight voice, briefly leveling a cool gaze in his direction.

"Watch yourself," he cautioned as she made a shot from outside the circle. They watched as it sailed through the air and into the basket. "Your installation has caused a few people to be bent out of shape. They're going to feel even worse with this new appointment."

"You know I don't care about that," she chided gently as she strolled over to him, the ball tucked under her arm. For a moment dull grey eyes met piercing blue ones. "What are you really trying to say?"

"I want you to be careful sis," Andrew said flatly, knowing there was no way out of this conversation and briefly wishing he had kept his mouth shut. "I haven't got anything against the way you conduct your life but there are others who might be prepared to use it against you. They will be looking for anything."

"I appreciate your concern bro, but I'm a big girl. I've been through this before," she handed him the ball and he looked at it thoughtfully, turning it over in his hands.

"I don't think you have," he shook his head and she turned to look at him. "You weren't gay before."

"What?" Alex was stunned. She had expected this kind of attitude from others but not her brother who had always been supportive.

"Come on sis. Whether you want to believe it or not it makes a difference and you are in an old boys network," he continued hastily recognizing the glint in her eyes. She snatched the ball out of his hands and bounced it a few times before tossing it at the basket. It sailed through the net but unlike before this time she did not try to retrieve it. She turned to face the man.

"The fact that I'm gay means absolutely nothing," she said in a terse voice. "It doesn't affect my job in the slightest. I had hoped you would know that."

"I do but others might not," Andrew sighed aware that this conversation was going badly. "Nobody wants to see you get hurt. You might be tough enough to survive this, hell you have a hide of leather but what about Sydney? When they find out about what's going on between the two of you, they will roast you alive. Neither of you will come out of this unscathed."

He paused to catch his breath, unable to stop now that he had started. "I know you, you've got a horseshoe up your ass and will be able to find something else to do but what about her? if she's lucky she might still have a job on foot patrol writing citations on illegally parked cars. Do you really want to put her through that?"

There was silence and the tension was so thick that it was almost visible. He looked at his sister, aware of the intelligence behind the pale eyes that were now focused intently on him. There was a curtain over those orbs so that he could not tell what she was thinking and unconsciously he shifted on his feet.

"Think about it Alex, you are her boss," he said quietly, wanting to make her understand what was all at risk. "I liked your friend but do you think it wise to set yourselves up for that type of fall? I don't think you want her to get hurt. I know, I don't."

Alex was silent. The man's words struck a cord that run right through her heart. She hadn't thought about it that way and that realization made her angry. Perhaps she hadn't wanted to think about it. She turned away unable to show him how deeply the words cut.

"No, I know you don't, but it seems you don't want me to be happy either," she said in a cool voice before stalking away leaving the man standing alone on the court.

As much as she tried to dismiss his words they just wouldn't leave her head. She went over the conversation, and no matter how she analyzed it, the conclusion was always the same. Andrew was right about everything and that realization made her crazy. If the Department found out about Sydney and her, it would be the end of someone's career.

She returned home to slump listless and weary on to the sofa. She lay her head back and allowed the tears to spill from her eyes. It was ironic that she had finally found someone she could give her heart too, and she couldn't give it. She couldn't risk the chance of Sydney getting hurt that way. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if their involvement cost the other woman her career. It would be better to let go now before they were unable to turn back the clock.

As if summoned by her thoughts the phone rang but Alex didn't answer, instinctively knowing who was on the other end. Her emotions were to raw to talk to anyone, so she merely stood up and walked out of the room while it was still ringing.

Sydney put the phone down unable to quell the flood of disappointment that washed over her senses.

All day she had moped around the apartment going listlessly about her chores and feeling more restless as the day worn on. She had watched the minutes tick by, waiting for an hour when she thought that the other woman might be home.

I wonder where she is, she thought impatiently. It was already the dinner hour and she was certain

that the woman would have been home by now. But perhaps something had come up. She has her own life that doesn't include you, she chided herself trying to find some explanation.

"This is stupid," she admonished out loud. "I'm not a schoolgirl any more who has to sit by the phone and wait for it to ring."

That decided she threw on a pair of cargo pants and a casual shirt before grabbing her car keys. There was work down at the station awaiting her attention. At least she would be able to accomplish more there then at home where her thoughts were centring around one tall dark haired woman.



Alex woke the next morning feeling tired and uneasy. She dressed in one of her best black suits, aware that the press engagement was scheduled for mid-morning and that she had a breakfast appointment with the Mayor and the Commissioner prior to the conference. It was a meeting that she was not looking forward too. It certainly wasn't the way she wanted to start a new week off.

She sighed and strolled out into the living room, glancing at the phone by the sofa. The answering machine was blinking red and she hesitated a moment before pressing the button to review the messages. As she suspected it was from Sydney.

"Hey, just called to say hi," the voice sounded shy and insecure. "I guess you're not home yet. Hope your day went okay. Call me when you get in."

There was a slight pause and then silence as the phone hung up. A wave of misery rolled over her emotions and she closed her eyes to prevent any tears from escaping. She took a deep breath before collecting her keys and walking out of the apartment.



Sydney arrived late for work that Monday, feeling better than she could ever remember being in spite of her inability to reach Alex the previous evening. It had been a wonderful weekend and today her testimony had helped convict a known felon.

She noticed something different the moment she stepped into the station house that afternoon. There was a thick tension in the air. As usual, the first thing she did upon arriving at the squad room was to glance at the Lieutenant's office but it was empty. It seemed she needed to look at the woman to begin her day. She took off her coat and plunked down at her desk.

"Where's Marshall?" she asked of Norm unable to keep her curiosity to herself, more then a little worried that the Lieutenant's absence was related in some way to her inability to reach the other woman the previous night.

"A meeting with the brass I think," the veteran detective shrugged.

"Why is everyone so moody around here?" was the next question and the man leaned back on his chair and eyed her intently. Somehow he thought she would know before anyone else.

"You didn't hear the news?"

"What news?" she asked looking at the man. Inexplicably she felt a wave of panic flood her senses. "I was in court all day. The verdict was being read in the Reid Jones case."

"How'd it turn out?"

"He got convicted of second degree murder," she said. "What news did I miss?"

"Captain Carner is out. He was transferred over to North Division along with Lieutenant Messington. Lt. Gill took an early retirement."

"What happened to Marshall?"

The question caught the older detective off guard. He had naturally assumed that she would know for he had noticed what was going on. He had no problem with the two women being together but perhaps he had read the situation wrong, though he would have bet money against that.

"She's the new Captain," Norm replied watching the woman for some reaction. "Lt. Scarferelli from Vice has been moved in to do the evening shift and Lt. Howe from Northside Division was moved in to do nights. The Captain is going to handle the day rotation. Personally, I think its a good move for the unit."

But not for me, Sydney thought dismally and then wondered why Alex hadn't mentioned anything to her. She couldn't of course, she realized yet there was something about the whole situation that left her feeling terribly uneasy.

She didn't ask any more questions and Norm didn't voluntary any more information. She tried to focus on her caseload but often found her mind and eyes wandering towards the Lieutenant's office, as she considered the ramifications of this new development.

Surely it won't affect our budding relationship, will it? She wondered and then realized with fatal clarity that it did. One consequence would undoubtably be that she would see Alex even less then she did now. Morosely she wondered if their fledging relationship could survive or if Alex would even want to continue pursuing their friendship.

They were two very different people yet they had found some common interests and the few times they had been out together had proven that they were more than compatible. Neither could deny the fact that they were attracted to each other. Yet she wondered if that would be enough.

She sighed, the jovial mood she felt earlier disappearing under a cloud of despair. For the first time in her life she had been ready, no eager, to give herself completely to someone else. She cursed that fateful phone call that had interrupted them that morning, instinctively knowing that had they made love it would have been a totally different situation. Determined not to give in to the depression that threatened to engulf her, she threw all her attention into her work.

Alex was in meetings all afternoon and couldn't help wishing for the day when all the hoopla settled down so that they could get on with the business of fighting crime. More than once her thoughts drifted to Sydney. The blond detective would have heard the news by now and she wondered what the woman would think. She would be happy for her of course, but what else the smaller woman would think, she couldn't say.

It was early evening when she was finally done with the top brass. She wandered back to her office in the squad room. She had been given the choice of moving into the old Captain's office in the First Squad's room but had decided to keep her own office where it was. She had grown accustomed to the space and had only to glance up to see Sydney's blond head. The young detective was at her desk when she entered and looked up, flashing a tentative smile.

"Can I see you in my office?" Alex said in a voice so formal that inwardly it even made her wince. The blond detective stood up and followed the Lieutenant, squaring her shoulders and bracing herself for what she knew was to come.

"Congratulations," Sydney spoke first hoping to delay the bad news. She continued to stand even while the other woman sat down behind her desk.

"Thanks," Alex nodded unable to look at the woman as she tried to form the words in her head. Subconsciously she knew that it was so difficult because she didn't want to say anything. "Sydney, I think we should cool things between us."

Suddenly hearing the words spoken out loud she realized how badly they sounded. Alex felt a wave of panic rush through her body. She glanced up and briefly saw the look of indescribable hurt before the normally expressive green eyes went blank.

"It's just that..." the dark haired woman began to explain but she was interrupted by a sharp voice.

"You don't have to say anything," Sydney said finally able to push down the incredible pain that threatened to overwhelm her senses. She took a lung full of air and realized that it hurt even to breath. "I understand that with your new position we won't be able to see each other any more."

"It's not my career I'm worried about....," Alex tried once again but her words were brushed aside by the other woman who impatiently interrupted.

"Of course it is. Hell, you could lose your job if they knew you were slumming around with me and I understand how important your career is to you, so nothing more has to be said."

With that she turned on her heel and stormed out of the office not even pausing to grab her coat before stalking out of the squad room. Alex watched the woman leave her heart shattering into tiny pieces. She had thought they could end it before anyone got hurt but it was already to late.

Oh God, what have I done? the tall woman asked herself. You threw it away, came the unspoken answer. But I had too, she reasoned intelligently. Did you? came the reply and burying her head in her hands she tried to figure out if that was the truth.

The next few weeks were torture and the only relief that either woman felt was that they didn't see each other that often. In an attempt to alleviate the pain, Alex threw herself completely into her new job, undertaking the huge task of revamping the Unit so that it would work more efficiently. After careful consideration she re-wrote several of the Unit's existing policies and circulated memo's with the new guidelines that she wanted the department to follow.

Meanwhile Sydney buried herself completely in her caseload, putting long hours in to solve the murders that came her way. Her clearance rate, as well as those of the other detectives, began to climb and morale in the unit seemed to lift. There were changes to the way the Unit was to be run and with it came a new mood and the beginning of cooperation. Anyone who fought the changes were quickly reassigned.

"Is your friend coming tonight?" Skinny asked when she showed up that Thursday night at St. Mary's for their regular basketball game.

"No," Sydney shook her head though she held out a faint hope that by some miracle Alex would show up. But in the same thought she realized that the other woman wouldn't do that to her. If anything Alex would purposefully avoid being anywhere that they might meet.

"Too bad," the man commented sensing something more in the solemn voice of his small friend.

"Yeah," the blond woman nodded and then grabbed the ball from his hands determined not to let thoughts of the other woman ruin her evening. "Let's play."



Alex briefly considered going over to St. Mary's that evening but then realized it wouldn't be fair to the other woman. That was Sydney's domain and it would be inconsiderate of her to impede on her personal space. It was strange how she missed the other woman even though they had known each other for such a short time.

She sighed and flipped over the document she was reading, glancing briefly at the clock on her desk. It was already eight in the evening yet she had no desire to go back to an empty apartment. She didn't want to be alone, so she merely opened another file and continued working.



"Okay listen up folks," Lt. Scarferelli barked in a loud voice in an attempt to get the attention of the detectives who had gathered in the conference room just prior to the beginning of the night shift. He waited until there was silence before continuing. "We have a few new policies that are to take affect immediately."

His words elicited a series of groans from the detectives gathered and Sydney glanced curiously at her colleagues wondering why they were voicing their objections to something they didn't yet know. She accepted the sheet of paper the Lieutenant was disturbing around the room.

"Now I want you to read these very carefully," the commander said once he was back up at the front of the room. "The Captain is serious about these policies and she wants them enforced. Anyone not complying with these rules will automatically be subjected to disciplinary measures."

Sydney scanned the paper curiously reading the new policies, one of which was a mandatory provision for all officers to wear bullet proof vests when going out to make a collar. There were others outlining new interview techniques and fresh guidelines for the filing of reports. In all the policies seemed to be positive but then she knew that Alex's first concern was the Department. Unlike others the new Captain had no personal agenda except to improve the overall performance of her command.

"All right, now that we have that business cleared up, I need some volunteers for the holiday season," Lt. Scarferelli's announcement was greeted with a collective set of groans. Sydney glanced around the room and saw that most eyes were turned to the floor.

"I volunteer," she spoke up lifting her hand. She had no place to go and most of her colleagues had families with whom they wished to spend the holidays.

"Good," the man smiled appreciating her support. "All right I need at least one more of you."

In the end Sydney signed on for double shifts right through the holiday season. It wasn't the overtime she was after, she just had no desire to sit home alone on the holidays. Even working murder cases was more appealing. Besides she hadn't really celebrated Christmas in such a long time, she had pretty much forgotten what it was like.

Alex was in her office staring out the window watching the rain come down. In spite of the progress the Department had made in the last few weeks she felt like something incredibly important was missing. She knew what it was yet she failed to admit the truth. The knock on the door rousted her from her thoughts.

"I've finished up the holiday schedule for you," Lou Scarferelli said upon entering. He handed her the sheets and she hastily glanced at the names.

"Why is Davis scheduled for all those doubles?" there was a frown on her face.

"She volunteered. Says she doesn't mind the overtime and she's got no family, so she figures to let some of the other guys take the time off," the man said and Alex felt as if a giant hand had reached inside her chest and squeezed her heart.

"Thanks," she abruptly dismissed him not waiting for the man to leave before accessing the Departments' personnel files. She punched in Sydney's name and the information she required and within seconds all the data she wanted was up on the screen.

According to payroll records, Sydney had worked every Christmas and New Years since joining the police force nine years earlier. The knowledge made tears pool in the Captain's eyes as she realized the girl probably had nowhere to go.

She felt utterly miserable. She had never believed that one person could so completely influence another person's life yet here she was living proof of that truth. It was ironic that her emotions, once so tightly under control, were now dependent on a single person. This must be what it's like to be in love, she admitted in defeat. Her misery was only compounded by a call from the receptionist informing her that her mother was there to see her.

Alex stepped out into the squad room, her eyes briefly glancing over to where Sydney was sitting at her desk talking on the phone, before continuing on to the elegant grey haired lady who was sitting primly on a wooden bench by the door. Her gloved hands were clutching the strap of her purse which was sitting upright on her lap. Today as everyday the older woman was dressed elegantly in a green tweed wool suit with a long black leather coat.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" she asked giving the woman a brief hug.

"I've never seen where you've worked," the older woman said her grey eyes surveying the scene around the room. Briefly they came to rest on a small blond woman who was looking at her daughter with the oddest expression. She turned her attention back to her tall off spring. "It's been a while since anyone's seen you and as you haven't come to brunch lately, I thought I'd come to you."

"Mom, I've been busy," Alex started to protest but the older woman held up her hand to silence her daughter. She was not willing to hear any more excuses.

"Too busy to see your family?"

The taller woman remained silent, unwilling to answer the pointed question. Marie saw something in her daughters blue eyes before a shutter went over them blocking out any opportunity for her to see what the girl was thinking.

"We need to talk," Marie decided in a firm voice that said there would be no more discussion. "Go get your coat."

Alex knew it was useless to argue and so did as she was told, muttering softly to herself as she retreated to her office to collect her jacket, almost afraid of what her mother would have to say. The older woman rarely interfered in her children's life and when she did it was because she thought that child was in trouble. Now she wished she had gone to brunch instead of making excuses.

Marie glanced thoughtfully around the dull room wondering what her daughter saw in the place. Her eyes came to rest briefly on the slender blond woman again and this time the girl was looking at her with interest, but when their eyes met the younger woman hastily averted her attention.

The older woman pursed her lips together and looked across at her daughter who was emerging now from her office. Like before those piercing blue eyes settled briefly on the blond woman with an expression in their depths that caught her totally by surprise. She thought about what Andrew had told her.

"Now, what is so important that you have to drag me away from work?" Alex asked once they were settled into the quaint Italian restaurant that she had first visited with Sydney several months earlier.

"You are," Marie said succinctly, glancing up from the menu to stare across at her daughter. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have been moping around for weeks and don't deny it," the woman paused fixing her daughter with an intense look. "Who is he?"

"She, mother," Alex let out an exasperated sigh. "She!"

"Okay, I know, I just thought I'd give it a shot," her mother chuckled. "Who is she?"

"What makes you think this has anything to do with anyone?" the younger woman asked irritably.

"Give me some credit dear, I've watched all three of your brothers go through the same thing," the older woman said with wry amusement.

"There is no one mom," Alex sighed heavily.

"That's not what you told me a few weeks ago," Marie disagreed and watched as her daughter closed her eyes. Alex wished she had kept her mouth shut. "What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong, it just didn't work out."

"But obviously you wanted it to," Marie said staring intently at her daughter trying to read what the girl wouldn't say.

"Yes," the younger woman admitted reluctantly, something she had been trying to deny herself now for several weeks. "She's a cop. So you see the difficulties."

In a flash of insight Marie knew exactly who her daughter was talking about. She thought back to the small blond woman she had seen in the police station. There had been a similar sadness in her eyes. The same expression of unhappiness that now decorated her daughters face.

"Do you love...her?"

Alex was silent for a long moment and her mother had her answer. She had such high hopes for her youngest child and though Alex believed she had disappointed her parents, that was the furthest from the truth. More then any of their sons, they were prouder still of their only daughter. She had grown into a beautiful woman who had independently carved out an impressive career in the law enforcement field.

"It's career suicide," the girl finally said unable to meet her mother's probing eyes.

"I know your career is important dear, but twenty years from now is that all you want," Marie paused deciding to be blunt. "Is your career keeping you warm in bed at night?"

"Mother!"

"Well!" the older woman was pointed.

"I thought you didn't like the idea of me being gay," Alex said defensively.

"I don't," the older woman was honest. "But worse then that I don't like the idea of you being alone and unhappy. All I want for you Alexandria is happiness and if this woman makes you happy then I can say nothing against it."

The older woman paused her grey eyes narrowing as she studied her daughters face. She could see the hurt in her child's eyes and the sight bothered her. Alex had always been so resilient, even as a child. But she had learned that the tough exterior her daughter showed was a mask for a gentle and emotional soul.

"I know you dear, you don't give your affectations away very easily, so this must be one special lady."

"She is," Alex conceded in a soft voice.

"And you willing to throw her away because of your career?" Marie asked bluntly.

"I don't want to hurt her."

"Don't you think you're doing that now?" her mother wanted to know. "Dear, we only go around once in life. Unfortunately we rarely get a second chance. Can you really afford to miss this one?"

"It's not so simple mother," Alex felt weighted down with her burden. "I am her direct supervisor. If anyone one in the Department found out we were together the chances are that one or both of us would be fired. I have my law degree to fall back on but the Police Force is Sydney's life. I couldn't risk that."

"Did you ask her how she felt about it?" Marie wanted to know and from the guilty look on her daughters face she knew the decision had been made independent of the other woman's feelings.

The older woman sighed. "You were always such a stoic young woman, even as a child. It was like you had the burden of the world on your shoulders.

"I know growing up with three older brothers wasn't the easiest thing and that you were always forced to compete. I also know there were plenty of times when you sacrificed herself to fit in at school and at sport.... even with your family in regards to your sexuality," the older woman paused aware that she had her daughters complete attention. "It's time to stop sacrificing things. Don't forfeit your happiness, dear. A successful career means nothing unless you have someone to share it with."



Sydney was glad for the call that took her out of the office. She didn't want to see Alex again that afternoon. There was something about seeing the tall woman with her mother that made her realize how empty her own life was.

She had missed so much growing up without a stable home life. There were times like now when she desperately wished there was someone she could turn too. Sure Robert Newlie and his wife were good friends but she hated going to them with her problems. What she wanted was a family of her own, but she sadly realized that she probably would never have that.



Alex was relieved when she returned to the squad room and found that Sydney was out. It gave her time to think about what her mother had said but before she had a chance the phone rang. It was Dawn Taylor, a woman in the persecutors office with whom she had become friends over the course of the last few months.

Dawn was a vivacious woman who was quite open about her sexuality not allowing it to interfere with her career in the District Attorneys office. Alex had spoken to the woman several times about that over the course of their friendship and unexpectedly she now found herself pouring out her troubles to the woman.

"I think what you did was the right thing," Dawn said cautiously after her friend blurted out the reason for her solemn mood. "Eventually it would have run into problems."

"But I can't stop thinking about her," Alex sighed. "I close my eyes at night and all I see is five and a half feet of blond hair and green eyes."

"Have you gone out lately?" the other woman asked practically.

"No."

"Well, there's the problem," Dawn announced. "Instead of trying to get over her, you're sitting home stewing about this. Honestly, Alex you won't know for sure how you feel until you start going out again."

"Perhaps," the dark haired woman conceded reluctantly, even though the whole idea of dating made her cringe.

"Listen, my partner Lisa and I are going out tomorrow with a mutual friend. Why don't you join us and make it a foursome?"

"You're not trying to set me up are you?" Alex was suspicious.

"No, Karen just got out of a lengthy relationship, she's not ready to get involved with anyone," Dawn assured her. "It will just be a fun night out."

"Okay," the dark haired woman agreed, realizing that maybe her friend was right. Perhaps all she needed was to go out and meet someone different. For the time being she dismissed her mothers words of advice.

Sydney was restless. It was Saturday and though she had nothing to do, she purposefully stayed away from the station house, afraid she might accidentally run into Alex. It was growing harder for her to see the other woman.

Unable to spend another night alone, she decided to go out. Maybe she would be lucky and find someone and then for at least a few hours she would be able to forget about the woman who had broken her heart. With that thought in mind she soon found herself in one of the cities most popular gay clubs.

She wasn't really into the bar scene yet it would be the only place she would find what she was looking for. She glanced around the dance floor, watching without any real interest as the women moved their bodies to the beat of the music.

During her survey she captured the attention of several women but she ignored them. None compared to a certain tall dark haired woman she knew. Finally her eyes settled on a small woman with short curly red hair. She wanted to find someone as different from the Captain as she could get and this woman seemed to fit the bill.



Alex followed her companions into the club. The bar was full yet somehow her friend Dawn managed to find them an empty table near the dance floor. While the couple went off to fetch drinks, she was left to entertain the fourth member of their party. For once she was grateful for the loud music for it prevented the need to make conversation.

Karen, her companion, was a tall blond computer specialist. She was intelligent and had a certain appeal but Alex wasn't even remotely interested. Over the course of the evening she had discerned that the woman was high maintenance and her own tastes were for a more independent partner.

She smiled politely at the woman before focusing her attention on the dance floor. Almost from the outset of the evening she had realized going out was a mistake. She wasn't ready to start looking for someone else and she wasn't certain she even wanted too. Just as she thought about Sydney a startling image entered her field of view. At first she thought she was imagining things but then with gut wrenching certainty she knew the scene was all to real.

At a table on the opposite side of the dance floor was Sydney. Next to her was a young woman with curly red hair whose her hands were all over the blond woman who, didn't seem to mind the attention. For a moment Alex forgot to breath and her heart stopped beating.

Tears pooled unexpectedly in her eyes and she fought to control the expression on her face but she couldn't look away, not even when her friends returned to the table. She remained completely focused on Sydney and the other woman who was crawling all over her friend.

Alex felt a sense of panic. Her first instinct was to turn and run away but then her mothers words echoed in her head. Marie Marshall had always been very fairminded and blunt with her opinions. Whenever a situation arose her mother would step back and assess it and then come up with a solution. Ninety nine per cent of the time she would be right, much to the chagrin of the rest of her family. Alex had grown up learning to heed the advice her mother dispensed. She wondered why she had not listened to the woman now.

There were so many reason's not to get involved with the young detective yet she had ignored the one overriding factor. She had never been as happy as when she was with Sydney and she knew that given the chance they could be more than just lovers. They could be friends. With startling clarity she knew that she didn't just want Sydney in her life, she needed her.

She took a swallow from her beer and stood up, ignoring her companions inquires. She was completely focused on only one thing. She wasn't going to let Sydney get away and she didn't care what it would cost her. She made straight for the other table her eyes never losing track of the blond woman.

"Excuse me, would you like to dance?"

Even through the blare of music Sydney recognized the warm tremor of the voice and for a moment she closed her eyes and savoured the sound. Her heart was pounding so wildly she was afraid to look, scared that her heart would shatter if it wasn't the woman she wanted.

"She's taken if you can't already see," the red headed woman said in a shrill voice. Her green eyes narrowed and the expression on her face became unpleasant as she looked up at this tall intruder. As an extra measure she put a possessive arm around her companion's waist.

"Are you really taken Sydney?" Alex asked afraid that she had hurt this woman to much to be forgiven.

This time Sydney did look at the voice and her heart melted. She wanted to be angry, to make this woman hurt and jealous as she felt but there was such a beseeching look on the tall woman's face that she was powerless to resist.

"Yes," she answered in a low voice and she watched as a crestfallen look came over Alex's face before the stoic mask once again curtained her emotions.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you," she said in a trembling voice, her whole heart crumbling into tiny pieces.

Alex turned to go and Sydney knew in that instant that if she didn't act the other woman would be gone for good. She broke free of the red headed woman and grabbed the Captain's arm. For a long moment green and blue eyes met.

"You have me Alex," she confessed laying out her emotions for the other woman to see. "You own me, heart and soul."

Alex felt her heart soar. It was like it had suddenly grown wings and was flying. She held out her hand and Sydney tentatively placed her own inside.

"Hey," the red headed woman complained angrily grabbing Sydney's arm and tugging. "Where are you going?"

"She's coming with me," Alex said softly, her lips curling in a firm line as she stepped menacingly towards the other woman. For a brief instant their gazes locked. "Do you want to argue about it?"

"You bitch, you're not worth the trouble," the girl sneered and released her grip and with a tender smile the Captain lead her out onto the dance floor. They stood there for a moment just looking at each other.

"Listen, I don't really want to dance," Alex said reaching out and combing a strand of blond hair behind her ear. "Can we go some place and talk?"

There was a hint of pleading in the solemn voice that reached into the smaller woman's heart and twisted it around. She would never deny the dark haired woman anything and so mutely nodded her head.

"Where do you want to go?" Sydney asked once they were sitting in her jeep outside in the parking lot.

"Would you mind coming over to my place?" the tall woman asked. She didn't want to pressure this woman into anything but she wanted to be some place secure and comfortable when she said her piece. "I can make some coffee?"

The blond woman nodded her head though she wasn't certain it was the best idea. She pushed down her fears and started the vehicle. They drove in silence through the dark streets, the occasional sound of a siren punctuating the night. Within half an hour they were walking through the doorway of the apartment.

"How do you like your coffee?" Alex asked breaking the silence as she tossed off her coat and headed towards the kitchen.

"Actually, I'd rather have a beer if you have any," Sydney said and the other woman nodded.

"Make yourself at home," she said before disappearing into the next room.

Sydney did as she was told, shrugging out of her bomber jacket and hanging it on a hook by the door. She moved into the living room and sat down on the edge of the sofa. She had missed visiting this place, liking it more then her own small apartment. In a short time her hostess reappeared with an two bottles of beer. She passed one to her companion and then sat down on the chair opposite the other woman. There was a moment of silence as both women took a sip of their drinks.

"I've missed you," Alex began, glancing nervously across at the other woman. Now that she had the woman here she wasn't sure what she wanted or needed to do.

"We see each other at work all the time," Sydney replied softly not making it easy.

"I've missed spending time with you," Alex sighed. "I'm tired of watching you from a distance."

"You were the one who decided it wasn't good for either of our futures to be seen together," the younger woman reminded quietly. It was the truth and Alex nodded solemnly, picking nervously at

the label on her bottle. Sydney watched quietly her heart quivering with emotion.

"It was a mistake. I thought that staying away from each other would be the best thing for both our careers," she said fumbling for the right words to convey her feelings.

"You had no right to make that decision for me," Sydney said and the tall woman nodded their eyes meeting briefly.

"I realize that now," she looked away with a flush of embarrassment, aware of the intense green eyes that were staring at her. "My mother brought that point to my attention."

"I thought she didn't like that you were gay?" the blond woman said softly.

"She doesn't which is why this advice is all that more remarkable," Alex sighed. "I didn't want to listen to her even though my heart told me to believe it was true. But when I saw you tonight with that other woman, I knew that she would get to do everything with you that I wanted to do and I knew I couldn't let you go. You are too important to me. More important then my career."

There was a pause as the dark haired woman glanced up and captured her with those intense blue eyes. Alex was willing to sacrifice her career for a relationship, all she needed to know was if this woman felt the same.

"I need to know if you're willing to risk your career, to be with me?" Alex said with a deep breath.

There was silence for a long moment as Sydney didn't immediately trust herself to speak. Her heart was trembling and it took all her self control to prevent her limbs from shaking. She took a sip of her drink suddenly aware how dry her throat had become and then looked back at her companion who was quietly waiting for her to say something..

Sydney knew what kind of effort it was taking for this woman to say these words as so she put down her beer and moved around the coffee table until she was kneeling beside the woman. Gently she reached out and removed the drink from Alex's hand, setting it down on the coffee table before taking both of the Captain's hands in her own. Their eyes met and held for a long moment.

"I'm willing to take the risk," she whispered softly.

Alex felt an overwhelming sense of relief flood her body and she bent her head to accept the kiss, her entire body trembling as their soft lips joined in a tentative exchange that was followed by one with more passion and urgency.

She slipped from her chair onto her knees and then leaned back, pulling the smaller woman on top of her, their lips never losing contact. Finally she broke the embrace, aware that their breaths were ragged and their hearts pounding. The heat of their bodies was searing through their clothes.

"Are you sure about this?" Alex asked in a serious voice as she reached up to comb blond strands of hair behind her companion's ears.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life," Sydney replied bending her head so that their lips could meet.





Chapter Six



Neither could remember how they got from the living room to the bedroom, but the one thing they didn't forget was the instant their naked bodies touched and the moments of ecstasy that followed.

Alex was the first to wake the next morning and for a long time she lay basking in the warmth of the naked woman that was draped over her body. Carefully she reached down and combed strands of blond hair off her lovers face, savouring the memories of the night they had spent together.

They had made love well into the wee hours of the morning until they had finally fallen exhausted into each others arms, their bodies warm and sated, their limbs tightly entwined. She was not inexperienced, having had her share of lovers from both sexes, but last night had been a revelation and she knew it was because of the way she felt.

She sighed and tenderly ran her fingers down the smooth cheek of the sleeping woman cradled in her arms, an aching sadness in her heart as she realized how close she had come to missing out on this. She knew in that moment whatever happened she would never regret this decision.

She glanced at the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was already getting close to mid morning. Carefully she extracted herself from her new lovers embrace and slipped out of bed grabbing her night shirt from off a nearby chair. She put out a clean t-shirt and shorts for her friend before retreating to the bathroom to wash.

After splashing water over her face and brushing her teeth, she wandered through the apartment collecting the clothes that were scattered in the hallway and the living room. A grin tugged on her lips at the memory of the frantic way they had discarded their garments the previous evening.

She dumped the clothes into a pile and then slumped onto the sofa, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. She was tired but it was a glorious fatigue and another smile came to her lips as she remembered the various ways Sydney had made love to her body. The younger woman certainly wasn't shy when it came to being passionate. The phone rang and she hastily snatched it up afraid that it might wake her companion.

"Hello, Alexandria?"

"Hello, mother," the woman replied stretching her body out like a waking feline.

"You sound like you're in a good mood," came the amused response.

"I had a very good night," came the grinning response.

"I don't think I want to know about that," Marie said dryly trying not to think about what her daughter meant. "I'm just calling to see if you are coming to brunch today."

"I am," Alex said and then hesitated. "Is it okay if I bring a friend?"

"A friend?" the request momentarily caught the older woman off guard.

"Yes," she took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "I'd like you to meet a special friend of mine."

"Oh....OH!" there was a sound of surprise in the older woman's voice and Alex smiled. She had never heard her mother so flustered. "Oh, dear, I didn't have anything special planned for today."

"You don't have to have anything special," Alex groaned wondering if she was making a mistake.

"Dear, we want to make a good impression," Marie said recovering her composure. "One does like to prepare for these things. Does your friend like anything special?"

"Me," Alex couldn't help saying and her mother sighed in exasperation, which made the younger woman laugh.

"I didn't mean you!" Marie pretended to be annoyed while privately she was thrilled and a bit nervous.

"No," the tall woman sobered, growing serious as she heard movement coming from the bedroom. "We'll see you in an hour."

She hung up the phone and glanced down the hall. Sydney was leaning against the wall her blond hair tousled and her features still shrouded by sleep. Her heart leapt at the sexy sight.

"Good morning," she greeted in a soft voice, a tender look in her blue eyes as she gazed at the woman she loved. She was so happy she ached.

"Good morning," the blond woman gave a lopsided smile.

"I see you found the clothes I left out."

"Yeah," the grin grew wider as she glanced down at the oversize t-shirt and baggy shorts that covered on her slender frame. "They're a bit big."

"I think they look just right," Alex disagreed and stood up, opening her arms. The smaller woman immediately moved into the embrace, hugging the woman fiercely.

"Last night was incredible," Sydney sighed her voice muffled from burying her face in between her companion's breasts.

"Yes," the tall woman agreed giving her companion a squeeze before gently disengaging herself. "We have to talk."

Oh, oh, the younger woman felt a brief moment of panic as her companion took her hand and lead her to the sofa. They sat down facing each other and Sydney held her breath afraid to know what was coming.

"Are you sorry it happened?" she blurted out her fears before the other woman could speak and Alex immediately lifted her hands to cup the woman's face.

"No, I adore you Sydney," she smiled gently allowing all the love she felt to shine forth. She glanced away, letting her hand drop to her lap. "It's just that we have to be discreet."

She paused as if expecting some comment from her companion but there was only silence and she looked up but could discern nothing in the gentle face that was looking at her. She took a deep breath and continued.

"I'm not ashamed of who we are or what we have together but I think we have to be practical and exercise caution when we are at work together."

"You don't have to worry Alex, I won't do anything to jeopardize your job," Sydney promised solemnly reaching over to grasp the other woman's hand and give it a gentle squeeze. "I won't do anything to hurt you."

"I know you won't," Alex smiled her heart aching. "I just need you to remind me of that sometimes, when I come close to overstepping the boundaries."

"I will."

"Good," Alex smiled and leaned forward to grab a quick kiss before bounding to her feet, dragging the other woman with. "Now it's time to get dressed. We're going over to my parents place for brunch, that is if you don't mind meeting the rest of my family."

Sydney was startled by this unexpected revelation. For a minute she was at a loss for words as a mixture of thoughts raced through her head. Suddenly it felt like everything was happening to fast and some invisible force made her resist the pull of the other woman.

Alex paused to look down at her companion and saw the flash of panic that whipped across her features before a curtain came down over the green eyes. She stopped pulling and released her grasp on the smaller woman, swallowing quickly and wondering what she had done wrong.

"Did I say something wrong?" she wondered out loud stifling the panic that was threatening to overtake her emotions.

"No," the blond woman shook her head and folded her arms defensively across her chest and stared down at her bare feet for a long moment.

"What is it Sydney?" Alex couldn't keep the anxiety out of her voice.

"It's too soon," she finally managed to whisper, she looked up with a pleading look in her eyes. "I don't think I'm ready to meet your parents yet."

Alex went very still, her happiness reeling for a moment as her emotions spun out of control. She stuffed it all down, quietly nodding her head and opening her arms for the younger woman to move into their circle. She kissed the top of the blond head trying to understand, but failing.

"Whenever you're ready," she whispered tightening her embrace for a long moment before slowly disengaging herself. She smiled down at her companion. "I better get dressed."

Sydney nodded and watched as the taller woman turned and hurried down the hallway into the bathroom. She knew she had hurt her lover and that made her feel miserable, but she couldn't bring herself to join her companion regardless of how much she wanted to.

She loved Alex yet she wasn't ready to meet the whole family. The complete idea made her nervous. If she was honest the notion was terrifying. She knew families had certain expectations and because Alex was the Marshalls' only daughter it was likely their expectations were higher then normal. If she was completely honest she was afraid that they would find her lacking in some respect.

She walked over to the chair where her companion had dumped their clothes and quietly picked her garments out of the pile before starting to dress. She normally wasn't an insecure person but nothing had ever been this important. The last thing she wanted was for the Captain's family to think her unworthy of their daughter, afraid that their opinion would influence the dark haired woman's opinion of her. It was an unbearable thought.

Alex stood under the shower for a long time hoping that it would wash away some of the pain she felt. She had woken up so hopeful that morning, ready to fling caution to the wind. She had been so busy thinking about how she felt that she had never considered that Sydney might not feel the same way. Tears unexpectedly sprouted in her eyes and streamed unabated down her cheeks. She felt like such a fool. By the time she came out of the bathroom Sydney was dressed and ready to leave.

The blond detective jumped to her feet and turned to look at the taller woman. She had been tempted to leave before her hostess got out of the bathroom but she knew that was the stupid thing to do. She fidgeted nervously with her keys aware of the blue eyes that were watching.

"Will you call me later?" Alex asked solemnly.

"Yes," the blond woman nodded. She would call because she didn't want to lose this woman. Maybe then she would have an explanation for her. "I better get going so you can get ready."

Alex watched silently as the woman moved from the sofa into the hallway by the door. She was quiet while the woman slipped into her jacket and shoes, waiting until her hand was on the door before speaking.

"Last night wasn't a one night stand," she said quietly swallowing the lump of emotion in her throat.

Sydney pursed her lips together aware of the tears that were pooling in her eyes.

"I know," she said and then hurried out of the apartment afraid of what she might do if she stayed.

Marie was surprised when her daughter showed up alone. She had been busy preparing herself to meet this friend and felt a confusing mixture of relief and disappointment when Alexandria walked into the house on her own.

She wanted to ask what happened but she decided to wait. The dejected look on her daughters face gave her reason to hold her tongue. It was so different then the buoyant mood that had echoed in the girl's voice that morning when they spoke.

"If everyone wants to retire to the sitting room I'll go arrange the coffee," Marie said after everyone was finished eating. "Alexandria would you help me in the kitchen."

She had mulled over various ways to get her youngest child alone where they could talk without interruption. She was concerned, for throughout the meal the girl was her usual dour self. Alex nodded and dutifully followed her mother into the kitchen.

"It's all right Leza, Alexandria and I will get the dessert," Marie addressed the cook who nodded and moved into the dinning room to start clearing away the dishes. "So, do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened," Alex replied nonchalantly as she watched her mother collect the cups out of a cupboards and begin arranging them on a tray. The older woman arched a dark eyebrow.

"You are an awful liar Alexandria," her mother said dryly. "I thought you were going to bring your friend."

"She didn't want to come," was the simple reply but Marie didn't miss the slight catch in her daughters voice.

"Did she say why?"

"No."

Marie was quiet, her mind analyzing the possibilities. She glanced up covertly and saw the downcast expression that marred her daughters beautiful features. Her heart ached. It had seemed like forever since she had seen her little girl happy.

"Did you say something that hurt her?" she wondered cautiously.

"I don't think so," Alex sighed impatiently. "I have been going over our conversation in my head and I can't figure out what I did wrong."

"Well, if you were talking about family, maybe she got lonely for her own," Marie suggested.

"No," the younger woman shook her head. "She doesn't really have any family."

Her daughters admission gave Marie a sudden inspiration. She thought of the young woman she had seen at the station house and the wistful way she had looked at them that day. She finished arranging the cups on the tray and paused to fix her daughter with an intense look.

"Maybe that's the problem."

"What do you mean?" Alex was momentarily confused.

"What did she tell you when you asked you to come today?"

"She said she wasn't ready to meet you," the younger woman said slowly remembering the moment.

Blue eyes suddenly fixed on the gracefully aging face of the older woman. "Do you think I scared her?"

"I don't know," Marie shrugged casually. "What have you told her about us?"

"Not a whole lot," Alex said thoughtfully, thinking back to the little she did say about her parents. "I did mention that you weren't particularly pleased by the fact that I'm gay."

"Aaah," the older woman clicked her tongue knowingly.

"What? It's the truth," the younger woman defended herself.

"Yes, but did you have to tell her that," Marie was plainly annoyed. "You probably terrified the girl. It's hard enough meeting your .... girlfriends parents, without filling her head with these negative images. Goodness the poor thing was probably intimidated at the whole prospect of meeting your whole family."

"She's already met Andrew and Christie," Alex protested though she was starting to believe what her mother said had some merit.

"Yes, you went to a basketball game together," the older woman waved her hand in the air. "But exactly how much socializing did you actually do in between the cheering and shouting and whatever it else is you do at those games."

"Not much," the girl agreed slowly. She hadn't thought that Sydney might be intimidated by meeting her family.

"Sometimes people who don't have a family of their own, find it difficult to adjust," Marie volunteered cautiously. "When someone has been independent all their life, and not part of a traditional family unit, it frightens them when they become involved in a situation that they aren't familiar with."

Alex wanted to deny the claim. Sydney was a feisty and brave woman yet what her mother said made sense. Perhaps she was rushing the other woman, pushing her towards something instead of gradually introducing her. Silently she berated herself for not being more sensitive.

"Thank you."

"For what dear?" Marie asked.

"For being so gracious about the whole thing," Alex answered quietly. "I know this has to be difficult for you."

"I've never denied the way I feel," the older woman was honest fixing her with a intense look. "But I know what it feels like to be in love and I don't want you to miss out on that. If it just so happens that you have fallen in love with a woman....well, I can't begrudge you that happiness. Now come on, the others will be wondering what's keeping us."

Alex nodded grabbing the tray of dessert dishes and following her mother out of the kitchen, her mind already dwelling on what the older woman had said. It made sense and now she chided herself for not thinking of it on her own. She had turned the happiest moment of her life into a painful one. She knew that she had to apologize to Sydney. She didn't even wait to finish dessert before excusing herself.



Sydney moped around her small apartment. There was nothing on the television that held her attention and she had no desire to go in to work, so she wandered around the suite doing the small little tasks that she had been putting off for sometime. She had just finished scrubbing the bathroom when there was a knock on the door.

"May I come in?" Alex asked nervously. She had never been inside the other woman's apartment. Sydney had always seemed reluctant to invite her over and she wasn't certain that she was welcome there now.

"Yeah sure," the blond woman stepped aside, anxiously wiping her hands on her jeans, glad that she had spent the time cleaning the place up. She glanced around the tiny suite slightly shy about her meagre surroundings. It was nothing like the spacious apartment that the other woman occupied.

Alex glanced quickly around the room. It was small compared to her place and the furniture was worn yet it had a warm, comfortable feel to it. She noticed the bookshelves along one wall and a quick glance at the titles gave her a before unknown clue as to what interested her friend. She turned on her heel and smiled weakly.

"Are you going to offer your friend a beer?"

"Sure," Sydney nodded. "Have a seat, I'll be right back."

Alex watched as the other woman disappeared into an adjoining room before moving over to a sofa and sitting down. She sank into the couch and felt an unusual familiarity. She realized this place had more warmth then her own home.

"I hope you don't mind this kind," Sydney said reappearing with a bottle which she handed to her companion, before sitting down the arm of the sofa. "I didn't think you would be home so early."

"Normally, my mother doesn't let us leave before evening," Alex confessed, "but the truth is I should have never gone in the first place."

Sydney was silent not certain what this woman was trying to say. Blue and green eyes met in a long intent gaze where Alex did nothing to hide her feelings.

"What we shared last night was incredible, and being an idiot I left you to spend today alone when I should have stayed with you," she paused to take a deep breath, not able to look at the other woman for a moment. "I was so happy this morning, I never thought it was possible to be that happy and I blew it. First I try to rush you into something that you aren't ready for and then I leave you alone. Can you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," was the quiet response. "I was incredibly touched by your desire for me to meet your family but..."

"It's too early, I know," Alex nodded. "I've never felt this way about anybody before and I guess I just wanted to share it with everyone. I never considered what you might be feeling. It's been a long time since I've had to think about anyone but myself."

"I think we're both in unfamiliar territory here," Sydney said her voice barely louder than a whisper. "The truth is I've never gotten to a stage in any of my relationships where my partner has wanted me to meet her family."

"Yeah," Alex agreed running a shaky hand through her dark hair. "I've never been involved with anyone who I've wanted to introduce to my family and.... I guess its partly my fault for scaring you."

"How?"

"By making my parents seem like ogres," the tall woman replied sheepishly. "Truth is they're good people and they're okay with you and me being together. Sure they wish it were different but they won't do or say anything to break us up. They want me to be happy and I want to be happy and I'll do anything to make our relationship work."

"I want it to work too," the blond woman confided. "I guess that's why I want to take it slowly."

"Then we will," Alex agreed standing up. "I should go and let you get back to what you were doing."

"You don't have to leave," Sydney said hastily not wanting the woman leave. "I was just cleaning up, and there's supposed to be a good movie coming on later, a Hallmark Hall of Fame production. I forget what it is but they're usually pretty good."

"Do I get popcorn?"

"Yeah," the blond nodded and Alex smiled pealing off her leather jacket. "Where do you want me to put this?"

"Anywhere," Sydney shrugged. "I'm not big on formality here."

"It must kill you when you visit my place," the tall woman quipped goodnaturedly.

"I don't go to your place to visit the furniture," the smaller woman replied with a soft smile. "Make yourself at home, I just want to change out of these clothes."

Alex nodded waiting until the other woman was gone before wandering around the room. Her first destination was the bookshelves and she scoured the titles, smiling to herself as she recognized the various authors.

From there she moved over to the television where a whole collection of small animals were perched. She picked one up and examined it carefully, noticing the fine detail of the intricately carved piece. It was a small ornament with a wooden body and glass eyes.

"Every Christmas while my mother was alive she got me a small gift, a statute or figurine of an animal," Sydney said and Alex turned her head to see the younger woman leaning against the door jam, her arms crossed over her chest. "My dad wasn't big on celebrating the Holidays yet every year my sister saw that there was a present for me, an ornament of an animal. She kept giving them to me even after we were grown up. She only stopped two years ago when I told her I was a cop."

"I'm sorry," Alex could tell that her friend was upset about the broken relationship with her older sibling. "Have you tried to see her since then?"

"She took me off her visitors list but I always go at Christmas to drop off some gift for her," Sydney said quietly. "Even though I know she doesn't want anything to do with me any more, I still can't stop caring for her."

Alex didn't know what to say. She had always been surrounded by a loving and supportive family. There had been moments of strain and tension with her parents yet they had always managed to work through the situation. She put the small figurine back in place and nodded towards the books, sensing it was time to ease the tension.

"I would have never guessed you for a history buff," she commented and Sydney smiled losing some of the sadness that had been brought on by their conversation.

"It was my major," the smaller woman confessed. "I particularly enjoy reading about ancient cultures, especially the Greeks and Egyptians. Some day I hope to travel there and tour through their antiquities museums, just to see the old artefacts."

"You have several art books," Alex remarked and the blond woman blushed.

"Another passion of mine. I love the 17th century Dutch paintings, the artists were so meticulous in detail."

"Then we have another thing in common," the tall woman smiled. "When I was in college I took

several courses in art history as my Fine Arts electives."

"There's supposed to be an exhibition of Egyptian antiquities coming to the city early next year, maybe we can take it in," Sydney suggested hoping that they would still be together by then.

"I'd like that," the tall woman agreed holding her hand out. "Come here."

Sydney went willingly and they spent the rest of the afternoon cuddling together in front of the television. Later she cooked them dinner, a simple a stir fry and rice dish, and after cleaning up they settled back onto the sofa to watch the movie.

"This is nice," the younger woman sighed snuggling up against the taller woman who draped a possessive arm across her shoulders.

'Yes," Alex mumbled burying her face in the other woman's hair for a moment breathing in the scent of her shampoo. She realized she could get quite used to lazy days like this.

The movie wasn't a Hallmark Hall of Fame production but it was surprisingly good, keeping them both guessing about the outcome until the very end. All too soon the film was over and with some regret Alex stood up to leave.

"You can stay if you want," Sydney suggested hopefully.

"I wish I could but I have an early breakfast meeting tomorrow with the Commissioner and I'm afraid that if I stay I wouldn't make it," Alex said with a tender smile as she slipped into her jacket. "Do you want to come over tomorrow?"

"I'm on the evening shift," Sydney reminded glumly, aware that it would probably be several days before they got to spend any time together.

"Call me," the Captain said leaning over to kiss the blond woman. "I'll see you tomorrow, goodnight."

Sydney followed the other woman to the door receiving another kiss for her efforts before the taller woman slipped away. She wandered to the window and stared out into the night, watching as a tall dark figure hurried across the street to the gray Lexus sedan that was parked along the curb. She waited until the vehicle drove away before switching out the lights and retreating to the bedroom.

She glanced around the empty room. With the woman's comforting presence gone the place seemed lonely and sterile. She had wanted Alex to spend the night but instead she had left and now all the blond woman had to hold in her arms was a oversize pillow. She curled up under the bedding and closed her eyes hoping her dreams wouldn't be to vivid.



It was harder getting together then either of the women expected. Their conflicting schedules and the vary nature of their work made it almost impossible for them to find any time to be alone. After a few weeks both were feeling the strain.

There has to be something I can do, Alex mused to herself one day as she sat at her desk twirling a pen around in her fingers. In the past two weeks they had only been able to see each other away from the station twice and she was beginning to feel the frustration. The situation had to change if they were going to stay together.

She sighed feeling once again a fit of restlessness. It was the same restlessness that had made her leave Chicago to come to Seattle. She had accepted the position here because she had been looking for something different yet now after the initial newness had worn off it began to feel like the same old grind, just as it had in the Windy city. The only difference was Sydney. She spun her chair around and stared morosely out the window.

It was the end of November and the sky was grey and filled with clouds. A light mist was falling like it had all week. It made her feel depressed, a depression that only one person could help erase. After some thought she picked up the phone and punched in a number.

Sydney arrived for her shift two hours early that afternoon after receiving a cryptic message on her answering machine telling her to be in at that time. It had ordered her to report directly to the Captain. The tone of voice had sent a shiver down her spine and she wondered what she had done wrong. She braced herself for the worst, as faint memories of another summons echoed through her brain.

She glanced nervously around the squad room as she made her way across to the Captain's office, tapping lightly on the door and waiting for the invitation to enter before stepping over the threshold. She tried to hide her fear behind a tentative smile.

"You wanted something?"

"Yep," Alex nodded rising to her feet before plucking the basketball from a shelf and flinging it at the smaller woman. "Change into your gym gear and met me outside in fifteen minutes."

"It's raining outside," the smaller woman snorted in astonishment.

"Nah, it's just misty," the taller woman dismissed the claim and Sydney grinned like a little kid.

They had not played against each other since that last game at St. Mary's and both had missed those hours they had spent jostling each other around the court. Sydney was the first out on the court and so was able to watch as her tall beautiful lover strolled towards her.

They played for the next hour, enjoying the physical aspect of a game that allowed them to clutch and grab each other without suspicion. It allowed them an opportunity to work off some of the frustration that their separation brought. Both were covered in sweat by the time they quit.

"I missed this," Sydney panted.

"So did I," Alex grinned and reached out to ruffle her companions blond hair. She would have liked to give the woman a hug but knew it was out of the question, conscious that they were in a very public place. "Can you come down tomorrow night?"

"I don't get off until eleven," the smaller woman reminded sadly as they strolled back towards the main building. They were walking close enough so that their bodies touched as they moved.

"I can wait up," Alex said, aware that this game had only heightened her desire for the smaller woman. The blood rushed through her body, warming all the wrong places. "I want to see you."

"Okay, I'll be there about eleven thirty, unless I get called out."

"Just don't answer the phone," the taller woman barked playfully and Sydney grinned. They separated once they got to the change room, maintaining a discreet distance from each other.

"What a body?"

"What?" Sydney was startled by the hushed whisper.

She turned in the direction of the speaker, recognizing the voice as belonging to Carmen Martens, a patrol officer who did nothing to hide the fact that she was gay. Covertly she followed the woman's gaze and saw that she was staring at Alex. She felt a pang of anger but pushed it down.

"How do you stand being around her?" Carmen gushed and Sydney carefully averted her eyes from her lover, aware that if she stared to long she might reveal some lustful designs of her own. "Don't you just want to grab her?"

"She's not my type," the small blond woman could have tried to lied about her sexual preference but decided against it, aware that this officer probably knew the truth anyway. "Besides she's my boss."

"But you spend so much time together," the other woman prodded.

"We both enjoy basketball," came the honest answer.

"Have you asked her out?"

"Why would I?" Sydney was becoming annoyed at the woman's persistence and the way she continued to leer at Alex.

"Well...but if you're not interested then I might just give it a try," the woman said with a delicious grin, her eyes still feasting on the Captain so that the blond detective had to struggle not to hit the patrolwoman.

"I don't think she'd be interested. She was engaged to a man a few years ago."

"Rumour has it she's changed teams since then."

"Then go for it," Sydney shrugged, hoping to appear nonchalant. "But don't be surprised if she turns you down. I think she's seeing someone."

"I never let that stop me before," Carmen chuckled.

Apparently she didn't for the next day Sydney overheard several patrol officers in the squad room laughing. Pretending to be interested in something else, she purposefully eavesdropped on the conversation, always anxious to know the gossip that was circulating around the office.

"Heard Martens hit on the new Captain," one of the young uniformed officers laughingly told his colleagues as they gathered before going out on patrol.

"What happened?"

"The Captain wasn't so polite in telling her, she wasn't interested."

"What did Martens do?" a curious colleague asked eager for more details.

"Persisted by telling the Captain in somewhat graphic detail on what she was missing out on," the man laughed. "Whereby the Captain quoted her the official policy on sexual harassment and reminded her that includes not only men but women. Now I hear she's been transferred over to Northside Division."

"Good," another officer snorted. "She was one pain in the ass dyke."

With that the group moved off and Sydney returned to her desk with a huge smile on her face. She didn't like anyone leering at her partner and Carmen Martens was known to be pushy. More then one female at the station had made a complaint about her aggressive attitude.

Sydney couldn't wait until that night, making certain she didn't answer any phone calls that came in towards the end of the shift. She wanted to be with Alex and didn't want anyone interfering with those plans. As promised her lover was waiting.

"Are you hungry?" she smiled helping her partner out of her jacket before enfolding her in a tight embrace, dropping a series of kisses all over her face.

"Can we wait with the food?" Sydney asked shyly. "I'd like to work up an appetite first."

"No problem," Alex chuckled her eyes glinting with passion as she grabbed the smaller woman's hand and pulled her in the direction of the bedroom.

It was several hours later before they made it into the kitchen, sitting at the table in their night clothes and eating the sandwiches that Alex prepared. It was a compatible time and they talked about their day and what they had done since the last time they had been together.

"I hear Carmen Martens asked you out," Sydney said with a mischievous grin. The other woman scrunched her nose in distaste.

"I said no but she persisted."

"So you transferred her to Northside," the blond woman chuckled.

"I hate pushy broads," Alex muttered and then narrowed her eyes. "Does that bother you?"

"No, actually I'm glad," Sydney said taking a bite out of her lettuce sandwich. "The other day when we were in the shower she was leering at you. I could have punched her."

"I'm glad you didn't," Alex smiled pleased by the younger woman's display of jealousy. She savored the feeling for a moment before growing serious. "I don't tolerate that type of behavior from anyone, men or women." The younger woman nodded.

"How did you hear about it?"

"I overheard the guys in the squad room talking, not many people liked her, too pushy."

They talked for awhile longer until the food was finished before heading back to bed. Sydney snuggled up against her tall companion who wrapped her arms tightly around her and that was how they fell asleep.

"Have you decided what you're going to do for Christmas?" Marie asked her daughter several days later when they met for lunch.

"I'll be home," Alex knew that was what her mother wanted to hear.

"And your friend, will she be joining us?"

"No," the younger woman shook her head. "She has volunteered to work."

"That's not terribly convenient," the older woman mused thoughtfully.

"She put her name in before we started going out," Alex shrugged.

"Well, we'll just have to save some food for her and you can take it over later in the afternoon."

"I appreciate it mom," the taller woman was genuinely grateful.

"It's my pleasure," Marie smiled, pleased to see that her daughter was happy.

Despite her nonchalance Alex was concerned about her young lover. Christmas was a difficult time, especially on those without family with whom they could share the holidays. She glanced out of her office towards the desk that Sydney usually occupied. Right now it was empty as the detective was on the midnight shift.

She had been pondering for awhile what she could get the other woman for Christmas. There were the usual small gifts that would be easy to pick out but she was looking for something special. Something that would make their first Christmas together special.

There was only one thing she could think of that would make Sydney happy. With that thought in mind she picked up the phone and dialled the number that put her in touch with the corrections officials that handled the State facilities. Belatedly she hoped she was making the right decision.



Anne Davis didn't have visitors. In the past two years she had only had one and that was from an old boyfriend looking to make connections with some of her old buddies. She had sent him away uninterested in helping him out. After all it was those same friends that had caused her to be in prison in the first place.

She mutely followed the guard down the corridor towards the visitors room. As much as it galled her to admit the truth, she should have listened to Sydney when she had the chance. The girl had turned out to be smarter then the rest of them combined.

It had been two years since the kid had come to visit. Two years since she had angrily told her baby sister to leave and never come back. She had regretted the harsh words as soon as they had left her mouth yet something had prevented her from retracting them. Sydney had taken the words seriously and never come back.

The guard had said that a cop wanted to speak with her and privately she hoped that it was Sydney but she knew the girl no longer tried to make contact. She still got the packages at Christmas, small gifts that she treasured.

She pushed all thoughts of her sister from her mind as she stepped into the caged room. Her hazel eyes went automatically to the chair where a dark haired woman was sitting. She was a bit puzzled, recognizing this woman from the news broadcasts she watched on television. For a moment Anne wondered if someone on the outside had given her name up to get themselves out of some mess. That was something her former friends would do.

Then another thought occurred to her and for a brief instant she felt panic, wondering if Sydney was okay. She hadn't heard anything on the news but she knew that they didn't always report everything. She slipped into the chair across from the other woman and picked up the phone.

"Is she all right?" she hadn't intended those to be her first words but her fear had transmitted itself into verbal actions.

"Sydney is fine," Alex confirmed. She had wondered how to begin this conversation and was almost glad that this woman had done the hard part for her.

It had been easy enough to get the Warden to agree to the interview and in the ensuing days she had brooded over her decision to try and reunite the sisters. She had said nothing to Sydney and she had worried about her reception from this prisoner, but now those fears were partly alleviated. She was happy to acknowledge that this woman, harden and aged by the system in which she was placed, still cared enough to ask about her sibling. It gave her hope that her trip here wouldn't be wasted.

"Then what do you want?" the lines on the prisoners face turned harsh. Just for a brief instant this woman had reminded Alex of her lover yet other then the blond hair and the hazel eyes there was no real resemblance. "Did someone blame something on me, because if they did I didn't do it, I've been in this hole for the last eight years."

"I know," the Captain had read the woman's file and knew her history. "I came to talk to you about Sydney."

"I thought you said she is fine," the woman's eyes narrowed, displaying the distrust she felt for the system.

"She is," Alex took a deep breath. "I just wanted to come introduce myself, seeing she has no other family."

"I know who you are," the woman snorted with a scowl. "You're that bitch Captain in Homicide."

"Yes," the dark haired woman nodded.

"She's your bitch isn't she," Anne growled with a sneer before Alex could say anything more. "You're fucking her and you want my permission."

"Sydney isn't anyone's bitch," Alex retorted angrily feeling her temper rise. She hated the word and the way this woman used it.

"But you are fucking her aren't you?" the woman's laugh was hollow and without amusement. The lines on her face were deep and angry. She hated to think that her sister was being used like she was being used here in prison. It was no way for anyone to live and she hated this woman for making Sydney do that.

"I am in love with your sister," Alex said quietly, admitting something to this woman that she had not even told her young lover.

"Love," Anne snorted in disdain, her skepticism of the concept evident. She leaned back in her chair. "Why are you here, to seek my permission to court her?"

"Sydney is a woman capable of deciding on her own what she wants," the Captain said her own voice hardening as she reassessed her earlier thoughts. Perhaps coming here hadn't been her smartest idea. "I just wanted to meet the most important person in her life."

The words caught the hardened criminal off guard and for a moment Anne didn't know what to say. She looked at the dark stranger on the other side of the glass. She had known her sister's preference for women. She had ignored it for the longest time and Sydney had tried to deny the truth by sleeping with perhaps a dozen guys to prove that she was normal. But Anne had never been fooled.

"What do you want?" she finally growled.

"I don't want anything," Alex said shaking her head then changed her mind. "No, that's not true. I came here hoping I could convince you to see Sydney."

"Why?"

"Because I love her and I can see how your estrangement hurts her."

"I hate that she's gay and I hate that she's a bloody pig," Anne blurted out forcibly.

"Do you really?" Alex asked, her blue eyes boring through the glass into the other woman. "Or doyou hate her because she represents everything you're not?"

A tense silence fell between the two women and Alex waited a moment before continuing to speak, allowing the chance for her harshly spoken words to sink in. She stared at the woman sitting across from her, seeing nothing in the stoic expression on her face. Only the tiny pulse of a vein at the corner of her eye gave her any indication that her words might had gotten through. She took a deep breath.

"Why are you ashamed to be proud of her? Sydney is an incredibly strong and brave young woman with a compassionate heart. It's an honour just to be associated with her."

Anne made no response. She looked at the dark haired woman and saw the fire in the pale eyes. She knew that this woman spoke the truth. She lowered her head, struggling with the emotions she rarely allowed to surface.

"I don't want her to see me like this," the prisoner confessed in a tense voice, defiantly lifting her head to meet the other woman's gaze. "You're right, she is everything you said, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before she starting looking at me in the same way all you cops look at criminals."

"So you pushed her away." Alex suddenly understood what had happened. "She was a police office for five years before she told you. If she would have hated you, she would had done it by then."

"No," Anne shook her head. "She would have kept coming, but one day I knew I would look up and see the shame and disdain in her eyes. I killed a fucking cop and almost took her down with me. How much longer do you think it would have taken before she learned to despise that fact?"

"Sydney isn't like that," Alex disagreed. "She's not someone who would desert you. She isn't that type of person. If you looked past all the garbage you would see that."

"I don't know," the other woman shook her head. "She waited five years to tell me she was a cop and a lesbian. Tell me why she waited so long?"

"Because she was afraid to lose your respect," the Captain answered quietly.

The prisoner looked across at the other woman wondering whether she could believe that. She shook her head and felt a pool of tears in the back of her eyes, not understanding how her younger sister could respect her when she was so messed up.

"Because she loves you," Alex said quietly as if reading the other woman's thoughts.



Continued In Chapter 7



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