The loving relationship between two women is explored. Umm…there is also some of that sex between two women stuff. (NC-17, but not hardcore). Gabrielle/other female.

This is a post "Friend In Need" story, so it focuses on Gabrielle, her life without Xena, and her continuing quest for spiritual enlightenment. Season 4's India episodes create an important background to the story.

I'd like to thank my beta reader, Mary who not only proofed this for me, but also encouraged me along the way.

This story is dedicated to Kevin Smith. "Xena, life is eternal-it has no beginning and no end. The loving friends we meet on our journey return to us time after time. We never die because we were never really born. "-Gabrielle in "Deja Vu All Over Again."

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Part 2

Classes progressed quickly that season. The six students in her 'war' class challenged her as much as she did them. After class, she found herself spending more and more time with these six, talking about her experiences as a warrior in Egypt, the land of the Celts, Gaul, and on Norse soil. All of the students were interested, curious, open to learning, but Ashakiran hung on Gabrielle's every word and Gabrielle responded to her with maternal love.

One evening at mealtime, Gabrielle watched quietly, listening to the light steps of the students as they served, the clanging of spoons against clay bowls, and the slurping of soup by everyone sitting at the table.

Since the return of the older novitiates, these women had taken over many of the roles of the younger girls, especially those who helped serve the monks. Tonight was no exception--the older students moved around the table, politely pouring tea and offering soup.

Gabrielle, from her seasons with Xena and those alone, had learned to 'read' people-their body language said a great deal and she believed she could detect moods and auras. Gabrielle noticed that Ashakiran was very subdued as she served. Her eyes would flash with a hint of happiness the few times that Gabrielle made eye contact with her, but then she seemed to hide away. The blonde also took note of others at the table with special attention to how each person interacted with Pariket. The adults ignored him while the female students tried to avoid him.

Gabrielle had recently been made aware that Ashakiran had been given the duty of serving Pariket both at mealtime and as his personal assistant in his room. She was surprised to hear it, aware that Niti and all others at the monastery knew of Pariket's lack of self-control and his ongoing objectification of women.

Sitting next to Niti, Gabrielle had the spiritual leader's undivided attention. She whispered, "Niti, why do you have Ashakiran serving Pariket? I worry that she might be placed in an uncomfortable situation."

Niti had just started eating her soup. Although it was not a requirement, Niti had become accustomed to taking all of her meals with the group in silence. However, since Gabrielle's arrival, it wasn't unusual to indulge the foreign woman in mild banter and frequent deep discussion. Taking a spoonful of the hearty soup, she savored it, then set the spoon on the table before answering. "There are few here, including myself better equipped to deal with Pariket. Ashakiran commands respect without asking and she is by far our best student. She stands out in everything she does. I would think that she would best know how to handle him. Pariket wouldn't dare approach her with an unseemly proposition."

Gabrielle didn't believe that. Pariket had no boundaries. "You know, I can certainly fend for myself, I don't need a student helping me bathe or massaging me or bringing me food. If I can do it, all of us can. I believe that Pariket uses these chores to his advantage. He isn't a stupid man and knows just how far to go before being called on his behavior." Gabrielle, though speaking with Niti, stared across the table at Pariket who was busily eyeing each novitiate who came in and departed the room.

"What have you heard, Gabrielle?"

"Nothing. It's just a feeling and I'm concerned. Ashakiran sits in two of my classes. In meditation, she excels, falling into a meditative state easily, in fact, much more easily than I. I've watched her just to make sure she hasn't dozed off and I am in awe at how she has regulated her breathing. Her chest barely rises and falls. In my 'war' class, she is amazing. She understands nuances of negotiation and how they could be used to ward off a battle between conflicting parties. Lately, however, there has been a distance as if she were somewhere else. I've asked her about it and she says it's nothing. I would be horrified to learn that she is suffering some form of abuse right under our noses."

"What do you suggest?" Niti asked, hoping to end the conversation quickly and get back to her meal.

"That Pariket take care of himself."

"That would hardly be fair, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle turned and stared at Niti in disbelief. The spiritual head of this monastery had told her when she first arrived that the students serving monks and masters was to teach humility. It sounded more like involuntary servitude. "Unfair to whom?" Gabrielle countered.

"To Pariket, of course and to Ashakiran who is certainly getting a lesson in humility."

"Niti, humility is one thing, putting a young woman in harm's way is quite another." Gabrielle continued to speak softly, but her ire was up and she felt her face warming and knew it was growing pink. Her fair complexion often gave her feelings away in this land.

The short and stocky, Indian woman heaved a deep sigh. "I see. Well, we'll just have to do something that will please all concerned parties."

"Might I suggest that I serve Pariket. I could use a refresher in humility." Gabrielle smiled.

"That would not be a good idea." Niti didn't like to be second-guessed and Gabrielle always seemed to do just that. Niti knew she would have to work on her own ego. She wanted her teachers and monks to have an equal voice at the monastery, but she preferred those voices be in agreement with hers. "We will work something out."

Niti turned back to her supper, picking up her spoon and enjoying the moment.

"Please come in." Gabrielle responded to the soft knock on her door.

She was both happy and surprised to see Ashakiran standing at the opened door. "May I enter or is this a bad time?"

Gabrielle uncrossed her legs and slowly stretched them out before standing. "Not a bad time at all. What can I do for you?"

Ashakiran moved toward the small latched door in the wall where Gabrielle kept her toilet pot. "I've been assigned to assist you as needed. I thought I might follow my usual schedule, so I'm here to empty your pot and then assist you with any other needs."

"Uh...you're not helping Pariket any longer?" Gabrielle was astounded that Niti would have moved so quickly on this issue. She had only spoken with her two evenings ago. Now, she wondered what lucky student had to endure Pariket's advances.

"No. I believe I have you to thank for that, teacher. I've done something right." Ashakiran smiled widely. Ashakiran spoke effortlessly to her teacher, interacting with her not with submission as most of the other students did. She wasn't passive, nor was she particularly assertive. The student seemed to simply be comfortable in her voice and sharing her thoughts with her teacher.

"Was it horrible?"

Ashakiran disengaged the latch. "No, not horrible. Just irritating, I guess." After a moment's thought, she added, "It made me stronger." Lifting the pot from its place, Ashakiran started to turn, but Gabrielle placed a hand on hers. An unknown emotion swept over the blonde. It was jarring and both Gabrielle and her student felt it. Gabrielle blinked several times to clear her head and Ashakiran gasped softly.

"Uh...uh...uh. I take care of that myself. Don't bother." She took several steps backward.

"But?"

"Really, Ashakiran, it's been done already."

Standing awkwardly at the small door, Ashakiran finally returned the pot and closed the small wooden opening. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, my needs have all been met. Especially now that I know you're no longer under his domain. I hate to say anything negative about another human being, but I believe that something must be done about his actions and behavior.

"He is much worse than our spiritual leader realizes. He is quite ill."

"Did he ever hurt you?"

"No. I believe that he is frightened of me."

"Frightened? Why? What have you done?" Gabrielle grinned conspiratorially.

"I did nothing. He's just afraid of me. Each day he comes up with some new and crude thing to do. My first day in his service, I knocked as I did with you, teacher. He told me to enter and I walked in to find him on his back, stretched out on his pallet, completely nude. He was erect and wanted me to 'assist' him. I walked over to the pallet..."

"No, please. You didn't touch him? You are not his body slave. He..."

Ashakiran stopped Gabrielle's raging. "Please, teacher. Let me explain. I walked over to his pallet and knelt before him so that we were face to face. I stared at him for the longest time, looking deep into his eyes to discover why. I saw nothing, but felt something. He has an illness. I am not sure what he suffers from, but he is not well."

"I know and I find it utterly disgusting. You should know Ashakiran that he is not singling you out, but has done this to others. Niti must do something about it."

"I agree. But I also feel love and worry for him. I believe he needs a healer. I feel it might be something in his brain, something that perhaps herbs could manage. I'm just relieved to be away from him."

"So each day he would offer himself up to you?"

"Each day there was something, let me put it that way, and it always involved his penis. Many days, he would just demand that I sit in the only chair in the room and be his audience while he gave himself pleasure. Teacher, his pallet is covered with evidence of his arousal…"

Gabrielle couldn't remember being so repulsed.

"Yet he was unable to reach his peak with me staring into his eyes. He would finally tell me to leave. Regrettably, the entire exercise would be repeated the next day."

"Why didn't you report it?"

Ashakiran shook her head and stared at the floor. "I didn't believe that anyone would help me. He is a monk, after all."

"You could have come to me. Why didn't you? Certainly, you know by now that I will stand up for all my students. I love each and every one of you. You are like daughters to me."

"I don't know why, then. I'm sorry if I let you down." She continued to find points of interest on the floor.

Gabrielle moved from her safe corner to go to the young woman and embrace her. As she hugged her, her mind was a whirlpool of scenes from her past. It was a strange feeling and normally only happened during the beginning stages of meditation. Perhaps, it was because she had comforted Xena so many times in this way. Xena had never wanted to disappoint Gabrielle, but many times she felt she had and would apologize. "You did nothing wrong and you most definitely didn't let me down." As soon as it didn't appear awkward, Gabrielle stepped back again. "How have you dealt with this?"

"Meditation, remembering that he is a creature of god as I am. It is ironic that our monk's name means something directly opposite of the man he has become."

"Hmm?" Gabrielle watched Ashakiran with curiosity.

"Pariket means 'one who is against desire,' or maybe something like 'one who does not give in to desire.' There is a purpose for everything, including the names we possess. In this land, many people believe that it is your name that shapes you and when a child is given a name, its meaning is not taken lightly. It saddens me that he has strayed so far from not only his name, but his faith."

Gabrielle was in awe of the confident woman. Probably only sixteen winters old, Ashakiran seemed far wiser than any of the monks or darshams she had known thus far.

"If there is nothing else, teacher?" Ashakiran waited patiently for Gabrielle's response.

"No, nothing. Thank you for stopping in and I will see you in class in the morning." She said while walking Ashakiran to the door.

As the student stepped into the hall, curiosity bested Gabrielle and she asked, "About the naming? What does Ashakiran mean?" Gabrielle guessed that it would be representative of her strong, intelligent personality or maybe something denoting her goodness.

The young student turned and smiled at the blonde woman. "Ashakiran means 'Ray of Hope,' teacher."

Stunned, Gabrielle fell back, supported by the doorframe, her daughter, Hope's face smiling placidly at her in her mind's eye. Ashakiran was nothing like Hope. In every action, in every spoken word the novitiate personified goodness. She recalled that this had been her one wish for her daughter. 'Be good.'

Soon her students began pestering her about the people who lived below. The relationship the monastery had with the villagers on one side of the mountain was harmonious, but on the other, nothing short of open hostility from the foot of the mountain. After spending candlemarks each evening with the students, they had come up with a plan that might be feasible-if they could get Niti to agree.

The plan involved the six novitiates and Gabrielle taking a big step-a big, frightening step. Niti was against it as predicted, but Gabrielle pushed and pushed. Discussions were heated between the two women and Niti finally couldn't hold back.

"Do you want to run this monastery? Is that it?" Niti asked in exasperation. " I have known these girls all of their lives. Their parents have put their trust in me, trusted me with their prize possession. I cannot and will not allow you, a stranger, a foreigner to come in here, usurp my position and put them in danger. I absolutely will not have it." Niti fumed as she paced her large, private bedroom. Gabrielle knelt on a pillow listening. She had dealt with warlords and royalty who held similar beliefs-that they could control others' minds and force their will on their people. She expected this from heads of armies and kings and queens, but hearing someone as supposedly devout as Niti demanding submission infuriated the woman.

"Niti, I am not saying that there isn't an element of danger. I, of all people, understand the risks when confronting hostile forces. I do believe that the students have a plan of attack, for wont of a better word, for peace. What good is it to pray for peace, yet refuse to work toward it where we can?

"No." Niti said with finality.

The Greek woman wasn't one to give up so easily, though. "These students will leave here eventually, replaced by others. When you send them out to complete their life's journeys, what do you hope for them?"

"I have no expectations."

"Not that they will perhaps teach others about prayer, meditation, the goddess within each of them; explain to children and adults the care they must take today in preparation for their karma and future selves? You don't have those expectations at all?" Gabrielle's voice was gentle, trying to find common ground with the leader.

"Well, yes. I would hope that they continue on with their studies. I would hope that they share what they've already learned with others." Niti plopped down into one of the four cushy chairs in the room.

"What if part of the experience they share is a success story about finding peace between parties when there had been none? Wouldn't that speak so much more to the power of their beliefs, your beliefs?"

"Gabrielle, I don't know if you debate well or if you just wear me down, but I seem to give in to you at every turn. I'm not much of a leader with you around."

"I would say that a good leader is one who is a good listener. I think you've done an admirable job here tonight." Gabrielle, always being the diplomat only complimented Niti on her willingness to sit with her and examine the issues this evening. Overall, Niti chose not to listen and often turned a blind eye as well.

Niti waved her off, hearing the comment exactly as it was meant. "Okay, go ahead. Tell me all about this big plan to bring peace to the land below."

"Great." Gabrielle grinned and quickly stood to pitch the idea with both excitement and wisdom. "First, a messenger will be sent down with a letter of introduction of sorts..."

As her personal aide, Ashakiran spent more time with Gabrielle than anyone. The young student treasured those private sessions where Gabrielle would speak candidly and the younger woman felt she didn't have to be cautious with her questions. Gabrielle had liked the student from the very beginning. They had a true bond and it seemed to grow stronger when Gabrielle learned the meaning of her name. Even before Xena died, Gabrielle had wanted to believe that somehow, Hope with her god-like qualities had survived their encounter in Poteidaia. Xena was convinced that the world was rid of Hope, but Gabrielle wasn't so sure nor did she want to believe it. Hope had survived infancy when she had been abandoned, then a poisoning by her mother, and a fall into a flaming pit, why wouldn't she make it through a simple, mortal stabbing? To cope with all that she had done to her daughter, she had to believe that Hope would persevere and live a normal human life-fall in love, settle down, have a mortal child who would carry a part of her grandmother within her. Now, she couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Ashakiran was the reincarnated embodiment of her daughter. This young Indian novitiate had quickly become the daughter Gabrielle had always dreamed of. All of the things she would have wanted to share with Hope, she now shared with the woman who was the "ray of Hope." Gabrielle believed that now she had the opportunity to be the parent she should have been long ago.

The feeling of connection was mutual and Ashakiran often touched Gabrielle in an easy familiar way when they were alone. Their relationship had grown to a point where Gabrielle used a shortened and friendlier name when addressing her--Kiran.

Ashakiran had made a habit of visiting Gabrielle just before everyone retired for the night. She made sure that Gabrielle had enough water for the night, that the room was sufficiently warm, and any other chores she could conjure up as a potential problem were handled. Gabrielle saw these gestures for what they were and liked the idea that the woman thought of her as a mentor and looked to her for guidance. This night was no exception.

"So things look very good for us to begin, Kiran. Our spiritual leader was most helpful."

Ashakiran grunted softly.

"Problem?" Gabrielle looked up from the parchment she was working on.

"Umm, no. Pardon me, teacher." Ashakiran said as she emptied clean water into the dry bowl on Gabrielle's table.

"Kiran, I think I have been in your company long enough to sense when you have something on your mind."

The student turned to look at her. "It's just...I know you had to push our leader to get this far. It seems so futile sometimes with her. She doesn't want to be with the people, she doesn't want to stand with them. All she cares about is sheltering herself off from the world and losing herself in her thoughts. Even in study, she gives so little of herself, while you give us everything. I don't know...sometimes I feel that we are an imposition, some irritating grain of sand under her toe she must deal with."

Gabrielle stared at the younger woman. "She loves you as do I? She has a different way of going about things, Kiran, but that doesn't make it wrong or flawed. Her nature is perhaps more cautious than yours or mine, but it is filled with caring and devotion."

"I'm sorry. I was out of line."

"You were only out of line if you believed you were speaking an untruth. If this is how you feel, that is not wrong, but I would say possibly her actions are misinterpreted by you."

Ashakiran tested the water. "It's hot now, but don't wait long to bathe." She turned around and looked down at her teacher. "Teacher, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Kiran."

The young Indian woman stared at the hard-packed clay floor, too embarrassed to make eye contact with her teacher. "Long ago, when I was first returning to the monastery and you heard that the other novitiates and I had been kidnapped below, what did you do?"

"You know what I did. I came down to rescue you." Gabrielle stared in the direction of her student, but her eyes rested only on the top of the woman's lowered head.

"Where was our spiritual leader?" Ashakiran whispered, knowing the answer and not really wanting to hear it.

Gabrielle took a deep breath and expelled it slowly. Her mouth twisted and she bit the inside of her lower lip before answering. "Our leader stayed here at the monastery to serve and protect those inside." She stood and walked to her student. Sneaking a peak under the long hair that covered her face, Gabrielle smiled. "Kiran?" She spoke softly. "Kiran?" Kiran's teacher placed a hand on her student's chin and raised her head to see those dark brown eyes. As she waited for Kiran's reply, disjointed images of Hope and Xena snuck into her mind. She saw the warrior fight off Hope to protect her. Blinking, Gabrielle returned to her present reality and watched Ashakiran intently.

Ashakiran wanted to drop the subject, but these were thoughts in her mind and they troubled her. She had tried to dismiss them through meditation or rationalize as she thought her teacher did, but she couldn't. She said, "I do not mean to be rude, teacher, nor contradict you, but could it be that you are misinterpreting her actions?"

Gabrielle chose not to answer.

Finally, Ashakiran looked into her teacher's warm green eyes and for a moment forgot what they were discussing. It was obvious that Gabrielle was engaged in a private challenge, wanting to discuss this openly, but realizing her place in the teacher-student relationship. "I'm sorry again. I don't mean to make you ill at ease. I seem to do that. It's just that I so desperately want to walk with the people in the valley, and throughout the provinces. I want to be a part of life, not run from it. I can't imagine doing otherwise. I left the cave seasons ago with such plans and it has taken this long to even begin. We could have been so much further along, if the masters and leaders weren't such cowards...

Ashakiran gasped when she heard the words that had come out of her mouth. "By the gods, that was uncalled for. Shall I find our leader and apologize? Perhaps I need to spend some time in prayer. Please…" she muttered, "forgive me." Ashakiran moved to the door in two long strides. "Goodnight, teacher."

The novitiate was gone before Gabrielle could acknowledge that she knew what it was to be eager. Gabrielle couldn't fault her there, but Ashakiran would have to learn patience, to temper her words and rein in the negative thoughts. Niti was merely and extension of her as all things and people were. It was a lesson that was taking Gabrielle a lifetime to process.

The celebrations had lasted for days. The six students had been accepted in the village as young women willing and able to give of their time and energies to help the small town. Throwing themselves into the work, the novitiates spent several moons tending fields, making shoes and sandals for those who couldn't afford to cover their feet, cooking meals for the infirmed, and even singing beautifully harmonic songs of piety and happiness in their faith.

Now, several seasons later, the townspeople could no longer remember the feud and those who did, failed to recall the reason for it. With the help of the six women, several men returned to the mountaintop to rebuild the dam. Things had worked out wonderfully and there was peace in the land.

Niti, the reluctant leader would have a legacy-a concrete example of what was taught at her monastery.

One night, Ashakiran knocked at Gabrielle's door and waited for admittance.

"I've brought you a clean sari, teacher," she said, gesturing with her head at the long length of fabric hanging over her arm.

"Thank you, Kiran. Come in."

As the younger woman walked into the room, Gabrielle lifted the cloth from her arm and raised it to her nose. "Ooh, it smells so good and feels really soft."

"I washed it in spices to give it a sweet fragrance and herbs to make it feel like silk."

"That was a lot of trouble and certainly not necessary."

"How could I not, teacher? I wanted the cloth that covers your heart to be treated as a treasure."

Gabrielle blushed and placed the sari over her chair.

"Do you require any more assistance this evening, teacher?" Ashakiran surreptitiously glanced at the latched toilet door.

"No, all's well."

"Then, may I ask a question?"

"You never have to ask," Gabrielle said as she sat on her pallet.

"In class, when you spoke of using a sword, I wondered what caused you to carry weapons? Had you no parents to protect you?"

"I wasn't a child when I picked up weapons, Kiran. It was a decision I made after seeing that the world could be cruel and sometimes people needed help."

"But why you? Others must have seen that those people needed help. How did you know you had to be the one?"

"I can't answer that except to say that I believed it without reservation."

"Then why didn't you work for peace like we did below? Why did you choose to fight for justice."

"It seemed the best decision for me at the time."

"Then what changed? Why not stay on that path? Why are you here and before at your other temple?"

"Something was missing. There was an emptiness and I believed that insight into my spiritual being might be a clue to that void." Speaking with Ashakiran was like thinking. It took absolutely no effort and she could be honest about her doubts.

Ashakiran took a seat on the floor between Gabrielle's legs and placed Gabrielle's foot in her lap. She applied pressure points and gentle massage while continuing the discussion. "Has the void been filled?"

Sighing both in pure pleasure at the wonderful massage and in consideration of the question, Gabrielle spent a moment organizing her feelings. "Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, I feel that I've found peace, but other times, that void seems positively gigantic."

"What can you do?" Ashakiran used her thumb to press on each toe.

"Nothing." Gabrielle looked down at her novitiate. "That feels so good, Kiran." Stretching her neck, Gabrielle tilted her head left and right before going on. "There is nothing to do. If I have learned nothing else from my own studies, I have learned that you can't force change. I must tend to my nature and be alert while on this journey."

Ashakiran shook her head nervously.

"What is it?"

"Uh, it's nothing. I just had this odd feeling that we had spoken about this before."

"We've talked about similar things many times."

"No, it was more. Like I was in this position and you were speaking to me about your journey. It was strange, teacher. Please, though, go on." She said as she started on the other foot.

Why Gabrielle didn't tell Ashakiran that at that same moment she had experienced the same sense of having had this conversation was a simple enough answer. The young woman had enough to study, as did she-why add to that burden when an explanation for it was not forthcoming? It was funny, she only experienced these hazy moments with Ashakiran and they were always transitory and convoluted.

"Uh…should a teacher really speak to her student of these doubts, Kiran?"

"Yes, it's helpful. You are so wise and have studied so many cultures and their faiths, yet you still question. That helps me to feel less fearful of my uncertainties and to see that there is no answer that is always correct."

"I had a wonderful teacher here in India. She's not far from here as the crow flies, but about a moon's ride on horse. She told me once that the only thing we can be sure of is change; that there are no right or wrong answers because every question has multiple parts, thus requiring multiple answers. She is very wise and saw me as a challenge, I'm sure."

"She was not just your teacher, but your lover, too." Ashakiran stated.

Gabrielle blushed at the recollection and the warm hand that now hugged her foot gently. "Yes, she was."

"I was in the library and read some of your scrolls." Ashakiran rushed, "All of us have read them. Is that okay?"

Ashakiran continued with the foot rub, long after that foot had been thoroughly massaged, but both women were reluctant to break contact. The blonde woman reached down and ran her fingers through Kiran's hair, stroking it delicately, enjoying the way the soft, baby-like tendrils fell between her fingers. "Of course it is, my daughter. The scrolls are meant to be read and shared."

"They're so personal, so intimate, though." Kiran's head lolled back, leaning against Gabrielle's leg. Her body warmed at her teacher's touch and her heart thudded in her chest.

"Exactly. I feel no embarrassment. It is like the teaching of any subject. You want to share what you know and what you've learned with others. What greater act to share than the most physically intimate one we experience."

Ashakiran felt herself getting lost in Gabrielle's touch and sat up, moved from where she sat at Gabrielle's feet by pushing herself a few feet away and leaning against the cold stone wall. "So they're true. You've experienced that kind of love."

"Yes, I have been blessed."

"With your teacher."

"Yes, and before her with another."

"And you loved both women?"

"Kiran, you cannot experience a spiritual moment of that magnitude without giving of yourself fully and loving that person completely. It simply can't happen. That's why love must be part of the act for spiritual enlightenment. We can perform the act as we see with the couplings of tigers or elephants, but it is a means to an end-to procreate, to satisfy a hunger, to release stress. That is sex in the simplest of forms. What I have experienced and written of is sex in the purest form. The depth of emotion is not even touched upon in text, it is difficult to put it in to words."

Gabrielle would be attempting to teach and explain this form of lovemaking and passion in the next set of classes Ashakiran would be attending. The six novitiates were older and it was time spiritual lovemaking was included in their vast wealth of knowledge.

Ashakiran nodded. "I understand. I hope some day to experience it."

"Your faith will lead you there, I'm certain. It may take a while to find the person best suited to you."

"Teacher, I'm seventeen summers. I don't know how long I can wait." Ashakiran said dramatically.

Not wanting to laugh, Gabrielle lightly covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile. It was the first time she had seen Ashakiran behave like the teen she was, instead of the reasoned and mature soul she projected.

"I remember what it's like to feel so…well, that way."

Gabrielle glanced at her unobtrusively. She was tall and strong, but with womanly curves. Her lips were full and darker than her skin, her cheekbones high and defined. She could easily be described as beautiful and Gabrielle guessed that one or two of Kiran's peers had already noticed.

Gabrielle also felt a warmth blanket her room. She was aroused, but not by Kiran's presence or the foot massage, but it was the remembrances of her lovers that coursed through her veins. "It's getting late, my daughter." Gabrielle stood and showed her to the door.

"May your mind encircle the universe and join with it as you sleep, teacher."

"You, too. Goodnight."

Gabrielle closed the door and rested against it. Her thoughts turned to Xena and those early days when she felt much like Kiran. She had been spending all of her time with Xena, just as her student did now. Her hero worship had turned into a desire that she could barely suppress. As soon as Xena would leave the campsite, she would hug the warrior's bedroll to her body, trying to capture all of Xena's essence, hoping her fragrance would reach into her every pore and fill her. While Xena had cleaned and sharpened her chakram, Gabrielle had stared, mesmerized at Xena's long, tapered fingers and imagined them touching her face, her thigh, sliding inside of her. There were times when the young girl from Poteidaia could scarcely tolerate sitting across from her at meals. Every time she had caught a glimpse of Xena's pink tongue, her stomach would flip and eyes close with longing. On their travels, while Xena sat on Argo, Gabrielle would walk behind them, watching the warrior's every gesture, each flip of her hair as she tossed it over her shoulder. If Xena chose to walk beside her, Gabrielle would find a reason to touch her-a game of tag, a kick on the butt, or a pinch, anything at all for a physical connection. It was virtually impossible for her to think of anything besides being 'with' Xena. She had yearned for her, prayed to Aphrodite to give Xena to her, confidentially talked with her Amazon sisters about how to love a woman just in the hopes that one day she'd get her chance with the warrior. She felt so out of control and so completely in love.

The teacher made her way to her pallet and unwrapped her evening sari and climbed under the blankets. Her mind flashed back to how her every need had been fulfilled by Xena in those early days, but she had yet to learn how deep her emotions ran with her. As they became used to each other, they had experimented sexually, trying various positions, using phalluses and other toys for pleasure. The two women had played games and took on roles as the mood hit them. They had been a fun-loving couple. But after their trip to India lovemaking became so much more. They could still have fun, but each encounter was layered and complex. It was like the bottle of wine they had once shared in Athens-it started off as just a drink of the grape, but with each sip, they tasted how full-bodied it was, how rich. They tasted the grape, but they could also detect the type of soil the grape had grown in, and the barrels the drink had aged in. That was their lovemaking.

The women would join repeatedly throughout the night, holding off for candlemarks until their climaxes pounded through them, leaving them clutching each other's shoulders, panting into the other's neck, crying out in loving release. Xena had told her bard that she had experienced strange dreams after their dealings with Alti in the future. In these dreams, Arminestra, Xena's future self would come to the warrior and talk to her about divine love. Xena could scarcely understand it, but Arminestra had been patient. She explained to the warrior the importance of the act of making love to a person you fully loved. Xena would go to Gabrielle and try to show her what she had learned of spiritual love as it was expressed in a deeply physical way, explaining the visions she was having of Arminestra, and these odd dreamlike lessons. Gabrielle had become Xena's willing student and eventually, her equally enthralled and interested partner in the pursuit of ultimate expression.

The blonde would never have guessed that she'd find another partner so compatible. Ratha was like the temple where she lived-open, available, physically sturdy and strong, spiritual, emotional, a retreat to lose oneself, a haven. Her lovemaking was playful, romantic, and far-reaching. Ratha could delay for long candlemarks, never giving in, encouraging Gabrielle to follow her on that path. The two women made love with tenderness and devotion. Gabrielle felt spiritually enlightened when she rested her head on Ratha's thigh, watching the darker woman's flower twitch and pulsate in release. Gabrielle would stare at the hardened bud of Ratha's womanhood and wait for her lover's request. "Gabrielle, could you love me with your mouth again? Will you give your tongue to me once more?" The blonde always obliged, offering all of herself while accepting all of Ratha.

Gabrielle turned on her pallet and looked out of the window at the stars in the sky. I love you, Ratha. I surrender to you as I surrender to the universe, she said to herself as she drifted off to sleep, not noticing the universe surrender to her as well.

Gabrielle still saw Ashakiran in the evenings and looked forward to their long and stimulating conversations. There were times when a lull in their talks would cause Gabrielle to look up to see the young woman staring with soulful, loving eyes. The moment their eyes met, Ashakiran would turn away embarrassed. Throughout the day, however, Ashakiran had made herself scarce. Since completing her course work with Gabrielle she stayed busy with what she believed was her calling. The young Indian woman had been spending more and more time in the village below with people she had met during her work down there. Gabrielle's former student had so much hope for the future and was determined to keep the peace and cultivate its growth. Soon, she would leave the monastery and discover other worlds. Gabrielle wondered if she would be like her, going from country to country, learning new languages, meeting new people, as she spread the Way of Peace. She prayed that Ashakiran wouldn't lose her way, that the idealism the younger woman presently had would remain strong and the doubts that plagued her teacher would not be misgivings her student would inherit.

Gabrielle was emptying her pot in the bushes nearby when she looked up and saw Ashakiran in the window. The candlelight was enough to illuminate the room where the young woman stood and Gabrielle found herself staring into the opened window. Pariket entered Gabrielle's field of vision and it looked like he was advancing on the young woman. The blonde watched in dismay as Ashakiran put her arms around him and slowly lowered him onto the floor. Gabrielle's eyes narrowed in disbelief. She was certain that she heard Pariket moan in what sounded like pleasure. Gabrielle was aware of her feelings, but she was uncertain what they were--outrage, anger, betrayal, fear, a bit of everything. She could barely understand her feelings, processing them was next to impossible.

Returning to her room, Gabrielle was unable to get the image of Ashakiran and Pariket out of her mind. She tossed and turned on her pallet. She lit a candle and attempted to write, but she was blocked. She was sure that Pariket had used his influence as a monk to force himself on Kiran. But the young woman hadn't looked unwilling, either. What would possess Kiran to stoop to such a level? She wondered.

Gabrielle tried sitting quite still on the floor and meditating, but her mind bounced from thought to thought until she finally gave up. She would have to go to Pariket's room. If Ashakiran was in trouble or about to make a huge mistake, Gabrielle needed to be there to offer guidance. Just before dashing out, she grabbed a parchment. She could use the excuse of discussing an academic matter with one of the monks if she were seen entering the men's dormitory. She left her quarters and made her way down the hall, the winding staircase, and into the men's dorm. Each step she took seemed to make her angrier. She was furious with Ashakiran for putting herself in this situation after Gabrielle had made a point of getting her away from the perverted monk. At his room, she leaned in so that her ear pressed against the wooden door, listening for any hint to what was happening inside. She heard muffled voices and what she thought were sighs and moans coming from Pariket. Standing fully erect and red-faced, Gabrielle was just about to bang on the door when it opened. She stared slack-jawed at Ashakiran as Pariket finished his comment to the young woman.

"Ashakiran, I can't tell you how much better I feel. You really know how to take care of me."

Gabrielle was stunned into silence when she heard Pariket's voice.

Ashakiran looked at Gabrielle, raising an eyebrow in question while answering the monk. "It was an honor to take care of you, master. I hope that it will be enough. It is important that you be able to function. I believe that this issue has been something you've had to struggle with for some time. If I was able to alleviate some of that stress, then I feel you have paid me a great honor." Gabrielle could sense the warm smile on Kiran's face as her former student talked to Pariket.

"I think now I can concentrate on my work in the library without distraction. Thank you again," he said as he stepped past Gabrielle. "Did you need to see me, my friend?" He spoke to the blonde teacher with real sincerity and not a trace of predator in his voice. His speech was slow and low, almost lethargic, and he possessed none of the edginess he had in the recent past.

"No. I was actually looking for our student, here." Gabrielle breathed heavily through her nose, trying to appear composed. She couldn't even look at the man.

Gabrielle's stomach was turning. She could almost taste the bile churning in her gut as she listened to Pariket. He certainly sounded like a man who was recently satisfied--content and calm. It sickened her to think that Ashakiran would allow herself to be objectified and abused by this man.

"Teacher?" Ashakiran acknowledged Gabrielle's presence, giving her all of her attention.

"Good evening. I was....I was just…" She looked down at the scroll. "…working on something and…" Gabrielle was nervous and dropped the scroll onto the floor. Ashakiran bent to pick it up, just as Gabrielle reached to retrieve it. The women locked eyes--one looking for an explanation for the nervousness, one in search of a sign of abuse, mistreatment, or confusion. Neither got answers from emerald eyes or dark brown ones, but once again, when their hands touched, Ashakiran's head popped back as if she had been punched and Gabrielle's eyes closed as memories of her past came flooding back. It only lasted a moment or two and then the two carried on as before.

"I was on my way to see you, teacher. May I still?"

"Uh...yeah, yes. Of course."

Gabrielle didn't speak one word on the way back. Ashakiran sensed something was wrong, but she didn't know what, so she remained quiet, too. When they arrived at Gabrielle's room, Ashakiran was surprised to find her quarters in such disarray. Gabrielle didn't seem to notice or care.

As soon as the door closed, she cornered the student as if she were a naughty child who had stayed out past her curfew. "What were you doing with him?" Gabrielle demanded.

"Who, teacher?"

"Pariket, of course."

"I had just assisted him with something." Ashakiran was pinned against the wall, staring down into Gabrielle's red face. She could see tiny beads of perspiration above Gabrielle's upper lip.

The teacher stared up into her student's eyes. She knew that her feelings were visceral and perhaps exaggerated, but she was unable to control the burst of rage. "What was he talking about? Why was he thanking you and why did you say it was an honor to take care of him? What did you do for him?"

Gabrielle's words were biting and angry. Ashakiran couldn't understand the cause for this reaction and stood open-mouthed for a few long moments trying to comprehend what was happening. The fact that she wasn't answering seemed to enrage Gabrielle all the more.

"Are you going to just stand there? Don't you have an answer or are you that ashamed of what you did?"

"Ashamed? Teacher, I have nothing to be ashamed of. One of my teachers needed help and I did what I could to help him. I told you that he was sick."

"Yes, you told me. And we all know what he's been sick with. Just how did you help him and don't lie to me, Kiran because I saw you through the window?"

Defeatedly, Ashakiran's eyes lowered and she moved forward slightly. When she did, Gabrielle moved away from her and watched as the student dropped to Gabrielle's pallet and sat, her head in her hands. "I would never lie to you, teacher. Never." She looked up and whispered. "I would never do that."

Gabrielle was still livid, but she felt herself soften at her student's despair. "What happened?" Gabrielle responded in kind.

"I met a healer and alchemist in the village below. I told him about master's problem and he gave me some herbs. I have been ministering to him for nearly a quarter of a moon and each day I've watched him get better. He is a different man as long as he drinks the tea I've concocted and uses a poultice of herbs and oil on his head, right at the temple, nightly. I have been there to help him. I knew he was in pain and I couldn't stand here and do nothing. I believed I had found an answer, so I did what I thought was right." Ashakiran sniffed and for the first time, Gabrielle watched the strong, young woman cry.

The blonde went to her, sitting beside her. She put her arm around her shoulder, then lowered it to her back and rubbed her back slowly, in tender circles. "I am so sorry. I was very worried. I didn't want anything to happen to you and I overreacted when I saw the two of you together. I am so sorry. Please don't cry, Kiran."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I hurt you." Gabrielle spoke very softly as if she were comforting a young child. "I love you and worry. I should never have approached you in such a way. It's not my proudest moment."

Instead of being a comfort to Ashakiran, her words seemed to cause an adverse reaction. Ashakiran sobbed.

"What is it, sweetheart? What's wrong?" Gabrielle asked tenderly.

"I thought I was doing the right thing." Ashakiran sniffed.

"You did. You absolutely did."

"But I made you so mad. I didn't want to do that."

"You didn't make me angry, I made me angry. You have nothing to do with that."

"I love you, teacher."

"I love you, too, my daughter."

Ashakiran turned and embraced her with all the weight of the world. Again, images raced between them, neither of them understanding. Instead of pulling away, Ashakiran's grasp grew stronger. Gabrielle was just able to breathe, but the next words, simply took her breath away.

"I want you to teach me everything you know. I want to be just like you. I love you and want to be with you. " Ashakiran muttered into Gabrielle's hair as they hugged.

How those words sounded so familiar. She had said practically those words to Xena when they first met and she meant them. But Ashakiran added more and she knew that the young woman felt strongly about all of her statements.

Pulling away, Gabrielle looked at the woman. "Kiran, you will have experiences and will undoubtedly surpass me in every way. Already, you are so far beyond where I was at your age. You're strong, brave, intelligent, open-minded, and open-hearted."

"I love you. I want to be with you." Ashakiran's eyes were desperate with both longing and love.

"That's impossible. You are a child of seventeen. I'm your teacher."

"But...but...you were with your teacher. You were lovers with your teacher."

"Kiran, my heart belongs to someone else. I will always love you. You are my daughter and my friend. I hope that we can always learn from each other and will always be a part of the other's life." Gabrielle smiled at her as she took her hand and waited patiently as the ever-present images from seasons past subsided. Finally, she said, "I can't imagine going through my life without our conversations and debates." Gabrielle, still holding Kiran's hand pressed it to her chest. "You are such a part of me."

"I see us together in the way you've written about love in your scrolls. I see that in my mind. Don't you?" Ashakiran was no longer sobbing, but tears ran freely down her cheeks, lingering on her chin until they dropped onto her clothing.

"You will find someone to love you that way, dear. I promise. I know that to be true. With a heart like yours, you will find her."

The two women sat and held hands well into the night. Both seemed to find comfort in this small expression of intimacy.

Gabrielle remembered what she had told Niti on their journey to the monastery many springs ago. She had explained that she needed a physical connection. It was a part of her nature that could not be denied. Gabrielle realized that she had put part of her life on hold when she had come here to teach. She left Ratha, but there hadn't been any closure, just a loving goodbye until they'd meet again. Gabrielle didn't want to wait for her next life, she wanted to be with Ratha now. Talking to her via the stars in the sky was no longer enough. She wanted to pray with her, stand beside her when they made naan, sit under a tree and watch Ratha charm the active bees into making a little extra honey. She craved the feel of her long black hair as she ran her fingers through it while washing it in the stream. Gabrielle's mouth longed to explore Ratha's, reclaim the home nestled between her legs, feel Ratha's fingers inside of her, pushing her to the top and leaving her there for candlemarks until her fingers sent her over to a place called bliss. She wanted to hear the soft purr of Ratha's excitement, the long groans of happiness and the pleasurable moans of joy whispered in her ears. Gabrielle could think of no better tribute than for Ratha to hear Gabrielle say her name again and again as the blonde yielded to her touch. She needed to go home to her.

"Gabrielle? Please come quick. I need your assistance."

Gabrielle had been giving the youngest of the students a tour of the monastery garden, pointing out various plants and explaining their medicinal uses. She was quite surprised to see Niti in the gardens and even more shocked to see her running frantically toward her.

"What is it? What's happened?" Gabrielle responded with the same concern on Niti's face.

"It is Ashakiran. She's been hurt. Badly."

A thousand horrible situations crossed Gabrielle's mind in the few seconds it took her to breathe and ask where the young woman could be found. Ashakiran was broken-hearted at Gabrielle's rejection and that was evident every time the two made eye contact. The situation seemed to encourage Kiran's spiritual growth, however. She focused on her meditation and suddenly started writing scroll after scroll about the levels of love-spiritual love, community love, romantic love, and the love of self. Gabrielle had discovered the scrolls in the library and Ashakiran was unaware that she had read them. The younger woman was wise well beyond her years and although she had yet to experience romantic love, she understood the joy in it.

"She's at the very top of the mountain, on a ledge. We don't know how we're going to get to her."

"What? What's she doing up there?"

"Meditating. It is an old, but common practice. To prove oneself worthy of the goddess' love and to show your commitment to your faith, a group of followers will spend the night in the elements, naked. No one ever does this alone. It's ill-advised."

"Naked? By the gods, we're all bundled and in boots every season and we're barely beyond midpoint. It must be freezing up there."

"It is, but if your commitment is true, then you won't have a problem."

"I don't believe that. That is no way to show your commitment to your faith. The whole thing is ill-advised!"

Gabrielle's students, sensing that they had lost their teacher had moved on to something else in the garden.

"The novitiates in her class tell me that she has also been fasting for five days. She's weak and isn't responding when they call to her."

"I need some rope, some spikes for the ice, a couple of blankets. I'm going to change, then I'll go get her."

"Do you want helpers? Some of her friends could come with you."

Gabrielle looked at Niti. Once again, the spiritual leader offered others up to do a job she should. All of the students were her responsibility, but she had failed them time after time. She had failed Ashakiran especially. She shook her head, then Gabrielle ran back to her room and changed into something suitable for her long climb.

It wouldn't be long now. She could just make out a lone woman sitting cross-legged on the ledge about a hundred paces west of the precipice she had just climbed. It would take another quarter of a candlemark to make her way out there. What was Kiran thinking, Gabrielle wondered. She also wondered in what condition the student would be in once she rescued her. Gabrielle doubted they could safely make it back to the monastery.

"Kiran!" Gabrielle shouted above the wind. "Kiran! Can you hear me?"

There was no response as Gabrielle slowly made her way across. "Kiran! Kiran! Say something."

As she reached her, she saw that Ashakiran's eyes were opened, but they were lifeless. By the gods, I hope I'm not too late. Gabrielle thought. Quickly, she removed the bedroll that had been fastened to her back. It contained two blankets. Unfurling them, she draped them over the naked student. "Kiran! Kiran! Wake up! Kiran!" Gabrielle moved in front of her, careful to stay away from the very edge of the flat surface.

Rubbing her hands over Kiran's upper arms, she tried to warm her body. Gabrielle was reminded of the time she and Xena had been crucified by Caesar and Brutus. It was a day as cold as this one. Somehow the bard and warrior had escaped an inescapable death. Gabrielle prayed that the case would be the same here, but there was no Eli to bring the young woman back. Ashakiran looked thin, her fast probably being much longer than five days and her skin was a deathly gray. She took Ashakiran's hands and blew onto them, trying to warm them with her breath. "Kiran, come on. I know you're still there. You're still with me. C'mon. Do this for me?"

Gabrielle moved around her, rubbing Kiran's naked body through the blanket. It took some effort, but Gabrielle was finally able to uncross Kiran's legs. Once she had, she continued the task of warming her up. She rubbed up and down her legs, continuing to plead with her to come back. Gabrielle worked her way down to her feet and rubbed the toes of one foot, trying to bring back some life. She blew again on the foot, but Kiran's haunting eyes remain fixed, looking out onto nothingness. Gabrielle moved to the other foot and began the same task. Her breath caught in her throat, when she looked down and saw a birthmark-a circle and under that circle a cross. This way, no matter where we are, you'll know me. Xena had said as she made the marking on her foot after their first joint encounter with Alti. In Gabrielle's mind, the circle had represented Xena's chakram and the cross, the vision (that would become a reality) of their death under Caesar's orders.

All movement stopped as Gabrielle stared at the birthmark. It was more than similar to what Xena had done; it was exactly what she had placed on her foot. She couldn't recall a time when she had noticed Kiran's foot. She knew that she would have remembered this marking. Gabrielle flashed back to the day Xena had placed it there. Gabrielle had just received an unwanted haircut and the short style was one that she kept over these many seasons. They had met their future selves that day-Arminestra and Shakti, the mother of Peace and her protector. Xena had made a mark so that in the future the bard would always be able to find her.

Gabrielle looked at the freezing cold seventeen winters old student sitting there naked, starving, saddened, and close to death. She plopped down beside her and pulled the blanket around her shoulders, too.

"I don't know how to help you, Kiran. Tell me what do I need to do?"

Ashakiran was frozen in her spot, in a trance, but alive.

"We've got to get off this mountain. You need help. You have so much life ahead of you. Why do you doubt your commitment? Why did you have to do this to prove that you're worthy? Everyone knows you are. Please, Kiran. The world needs you."

Gabrielle stared at the naked foot peeking beyond the blanket. She looked at her friend, and said softly, "Arminestra? Arminestra? Please."

The blonde was more relieved than shocked when the young woman sitting next to her took a deep, choking breath. Immediately, she started to cough and Gabrielle pulled her to her and patted her gently on the back. "It's okay. I'm here. It's okay, Arminestra."

It was getting colder, but both women incredibly began to warm. It took a while, but soon they were able to speak.

"Why did you do this? Come out here by yourself?" Gabrielle couldn't understand any of this. It was foolish beyond measure, yet she knew Kiran must have an explanation.

"I wanted to be closer to the goddess." Ashakiran stared ahead, but then turned to her teacher. "You are a goddess to me. I kept thinking you could love me as I love you, then as I meditated, I realized that I was missing the point entirely. My thoughts were blocking my view. I see that you love someone else and I don't hold a place in your heart."

"That's not true. I mean, yes, I love Ratha and I love the woman I shared a life with prior to Ratha, but you already hold a place in my heart, daughter. I loved you the moment our eyes met in the square, when you didn't flee, but stopped to make sure I was all right. When I looked into your dark eyes and saw your brave and pure nature, I loved you. I know you feel that bond, too."

"But I feel more. I feel like you're the other half of my soul. And I feel an emptiness I've never experienced because you don't sense the same." Kiran's voice was soft and small causing Gabrielle to strain to hear her above the roar of the wind.

"What makes you say that? I feel the power of our relationship."

"Do you think I'm the other half of your soul?"

Gabrielle wanted to be truthful, but how could she explain the things she knew about the young woman who sat beside her? Gabrielle could hardly fathom the truth of this moment-that she was sitting next to Xena again or at least Xena's reincarnated self. All of these many, many winters and springs she had longed for just this, to have the warrior beside her again, to reach out and touch her soulmate's hand. Now, all of those odd, muddled visions she experienced whenever she made physical contact with Ashakiran were clear; those peculiar images of having done or been with Ashakiran in a situation before were tiny revelations about their past together. "Yes."

"Then we can be together... as lovers?" Ashakiran asked hopefully.

"No. No, we can't. Just like you, I will be leaving the monastery soon. I have another life and someone I am destined to be with. That doesn't mean that I won't always want to know what is going on in your life; that I won't always keep you in my prayers. Please know that wherever you are, whenever you need me, I will be there for you to protect you and care for you and love you. You can always find refuge with me. Always. We are bonded."

"You've taught me so much. Whatever I've learned, I've learned from you. You've brought out the best in me, teacher.

"It's high time you called me Gabrielle."

"Gabrielle." She tried the name out, letting it roll off her tongue a few times, savoring the name of the woman she loved. "Gabrielle. That is a beautiful name."

"Thank you."

They sat quietly, neither shivering nor taking note of the whirling wind and frigid temperatures. "Are you cold, Gabrielle?"

"No, not at all." Gabrielle felt unexpectedly warm and comforted. She tossed the blanket from around her shoulders and began untying her boots. "Quite warm, in fact."

The two women sat naked side by side on the overhang of the mountain, feeling the love they would share for numerous eternities.

Ashakiran turned to face her soulmate. "How did you know my given name?"

"I don't know. It was something I knew." Gabrielle answered, choosing to withhold what knowledge she possessed, while wondering if she would ever speak this truth.

"I have not been Arminestra since I arrived at the monastery when I was four winters old. Our leader named us on our first day and I have been Ashakiran for as long as I can remember. It was strange hearing you say my name, but it also felt very right."

"Yes, it did." Gabrielle stared at her foot and Arminestra unconsciously tucked it under her leg. "Kiran, I never noticed that birthmark on your foot before. You're barefoot during yoga and meditation." Gabrielle wondered curiously.

"I...I know it is vain, teach...Gabrielle. It is just such a large and odd looking mark and I don't want to call attention to myself." She lowered her eyes in shame. "I made a powder to match my skin that I brush over it everyday to hide it."

Gabrielle nodded, but added, "Never hide who you are. It is a gift to all when we see the real you."

Ashakiran smiled and returned her foot to the original position.

Slowly the sun began its descent and Gabrielle was reminded of the last sunset she and Xena had shared. When she turned from the sun, Xena was gone and would forever live only in her thoughts. Today, she turned and looked at Arminestra and knew of the great things in store for the novitiate. Arminestra would become the "Mother of Peace," revered by many, hated passionately by a few. Her life would be in danger as she spread her message and she would eventually meet and welcome her protector, Shakti. Shakti, Gabrielle's future self would honor and love Arminestra as his guiding force and mission. He would fight for her.

"The sun is setting. We should begin our climb down. I want you to wrap up because I guarantee you're going to feel the cold on the way back."

"All right, Gabrielle. But can we watch the sun a bit longer?"

"Of course."

As they watched, Gabrielle chuckled softly.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking about this most perfect moment and I believe that void I have always felt, that emptiness is gone. I feel at peace. My lover and teacher told me that I would have to seek my golden time of day and I believe I have encountered it."

"Golden time of day?"

"This time--as the sun is setting and it takes on this lovely form." She jutted her chin forward pointing at the setting sun. "But more than that, it's the time in your life when you find who you are and when you feel at your very core all the love you've been looking for. As you said earlier, it feels very right."

Gabrielle had been riding for weeks. At night, she camped out under the stars as she had done during her seasons as a sidekick and warrior. She welcomed the blanket of darkness and found that she could still herself to the point of hearing a cricket hop onto and off of a fallen leaf on the mossy ground.

As she rode through her old village, her heart began to race, thinking of Ratha and whether her friend, lover, and teacher would welcome her back. She had sent a messenger with a letter telling Ratha she was leaving the monastery. However, her eagerness would put her at the temple gates long before the messenger would arrive.

The blonde reined in her horse, guiding it to a halt. She jumped off and took the reins in her hands, walking beside the horse, steadying her heart and relaxing her active mind. The temple on the hill wasn't the difficult climb she had remembered, probably the past few seasons of ascending the mountain had strengthened her endurance.

Just as she was approaching the temple, she closed her eyes for a moment or two. When she opened them, Ratha stood at the gate. Beautiful and sensual, the Indian woman stood before Gabrielle and her horse. She smiled broadly at Gabrielle who seemed taken aback to find her standing there. Ratha's hair was unbraided and hung far below her shoulders, looking like silk and shining in the high sun. Her eyes were vibrant and youthful as she stared at her friend. Dressed in a yellow band of clothing, that covered little, Gabrielle found the whole affect very pleasing to her eyes. In her hands, Ratha held a garland of chrysanthemum that she held up for Gabrielle in greeting.

"Beloved, you've returned."

Gabrielle couldn't keep the grin off her face. "It is so good to see you."

Gabrielle let the horse's reins drop beside the animal and ran into Ratha's arms, accepting the garland around her neck as she clung to her.

When they pulled away, Gabrielle asked, "So how long ago did the messenger get here? I was sure I'd beat him."

"Messenger? There has been no messenger."

Gabrielle shook her head. "Then how did you know to expect me?"

"It has been so cold here and I desperately craved your presence to warm me. Perhaps it was my yearning that encouraged your return. Did you hear me call to you?" Ratha beamed.

"Every night. And did you hear my response?"

"Throughout those nights, my lotus," she said in a low timbre.

"I have so much to tell you."

The sun had been bright in the afternoon sky when Gabrielle had arrived at the temple. Now, it had been replaced with a glowing full moon that cast a pleasant illumination on the balmy Indian night. She and Ratha were seated in a secluded garden as they had been all day. Flowers that had been opened and drawing in the sun were closed for the night. Only Ratha's bees seemed to still have energy and Gabrielle could hear their surprisingly pleasant buzzing from where she sat. The blonde had been talking nonstop about the monastery, the masters, the villages below, and her dear novitiates whom she had educated in the art of war, the headiness of deep meditation, the mental clarity of yoga, and the pleasures of physical and spiritual passion. Her voice was tired and a hoarseness had claimed it candlemarks earlier, but she had continued.

"I'm exhausted, but there is one more thing I have to tell you. Something you need to know and..." Gabrielle paused, recognizing her own procrastination. She had been putting this off all day. "And I wish I had a way of knowing how you might react to it."

Ratha's eyebrow raised in humor. "You will have that answer, once you tell me."

"Yeah, right. " Gabrielle smiled weakly. "It's the young woman, Kiran. The one I took under my wing, so to speak..."

Gabrielle reached out for Ratha's arm and entwined it with her own, holding her hand as if it were a precious stone. Ratha turned and stared into the green eyes she adored, then rested her head on Gabrielle's shoulder. Looking out onto the garden, she said, "I want to hear everything."

"It wouldn't surprise me if you could guess this." Gabrielle suggested, continuing to be evasive.

"I probably could guess and I believe I would be correct, but I want to hear it from you and I want to know how you feel about it. That is very important to me and if you are having problems articulating this, please know I would consider this tale and your honesty a gift to me. I know you are fond of gift giving."

Gabrielle lowered her eyes, staring at their hands-dark and light, so much like Xena and the Gabrielle of winters ago, but so different. Dark and light, one who had known only peaceful ways and the other who had seen and participated in her share of war, yin and yang, two personalities balancing each other so well. There hands fit so nicely together.

"Kiran's full name is Ashakiran. It means 'ray of Hope.' I felt a closeness to her from the very moment I met her, but of course, didn't know why. There was a special, wonderful bond instantly. When I learned the meaning of her name, my mind raced with theories-I see that look in your eyes Ratha, without looking at you. I realize that was my first mistake, letting my mind race. Well, I let it and had convinced myself that Kiran was the reincarnation of my daughter, Hope. I felt lucky that I would get the chance I hadn't had before to be a parent, even if it was by proxy. I could mold her, help and steer her in the right direction, be open with her and provide Kiran with the skills needed to understand herself, her calling, and her faith. These last few springs, I loved her unconditionally. But just after I decided to leave the monastery, not too long ago, in fact, I discovered that Kiran was not the reincarnation of my daughter, Hope. No, not at all..."

The tears that gathered at the bottom edges of Gabrielle's eyes finally spilled over and fell freely as the blonde explained everything to Ratha. When she finished, she sniffed and the corner of her upper lip turned up in a forced smile. "So, was it what you thought?"

"Nothing is ever as one thinks." Ratha answered elusively, baffling Gabrielle.

The blonde woman's throat was parched and felt raw, but she had to go on. Her biggest fear was that Ratha would be hurt and confused. "I want you to know that I came back here without any doubts in my heart."

"Gabrielle, she is still your soulmate. Though in a different body with different experiences, you are still meant to be together."

"Yes, but as you say, the relationship between soulmates is complicated and might not include all aspects of one's needs or desires. I told Kiran she will always have a place in my heart and I do want to keep in contact with her. I'd even like for her to visit us here, have a home here if she likes. That is, if there is an 'us'--if this is something you want as well."

"Have you told Kiran what you know? What you've seen?" Ratha remained noncommittal, not giving Gabrielle the answer she had sought.

"No. And I won't. She deserves to live a life without this hanging over her. Xena and I were put into a situation where we came face to face with our future selves. That shouldn't have happened. It doesn't happen to most people. Usually, we just go through our lives, feeling these odd connections here and there, feeling like we've done something or said something before in exactly the same context, but those things are fleeting and inexplicable. Xena and I shouldn't have seen what we did. I shouldn't know these things. I would never burden Kiran with this, too."

"So you do feel burdened? Not at peace? I have watched you struggle for so long. I do not think it wise for you to commit to something only out of some sense of obligation or loyalty to me."

"It pleases me...greatly... to be here. I came back because I need you in my life-not just sharing the sky and sun with you, but physically in my life to hold and cherish. I really need you."

"And are you at peace?"

"Yes. Ratha..." Gabrielle bit her lower lip. "It's not been easy for me. Xena and I had promised each other that we would see it out together, that we would meet on the other side, but she was brutally and heartlessly pulled from my life. I had been alone, traveling throughout the world trying to find out why and I kept coming up empty. When I was a young girl, it was so cut and dried--good girls went to the Elysian Fields and bad girls went to Tartarus. I would dream of my afterlife in the Fields-playing endless games with my friends, having all the nutbread I could eat, never having to do chores." Gabrielle sniffed lightly, suppressing a laugh at her innocence.

"With your imagination, I am sure that your fantasy of the Fields was enough to keep you a good girl." Ratha tightened her grip on the paler hand.

"Yes, I wanted to be certain I got in. My parents didn't have too many problems with me. I would wonder just how bad a bad girl would have to be to end up in Tartarus. These were places I understood from our stories, from the things people talked about. I would see my parents place coins in the hands of dead relatives for Charon to make the crossing over a bit more pleasant. I believed these things with all my young heart."

"And those stories have a value. Even now, they have shaped you in some way."

"Yes, those stories and other things." Gabrielle hesitated, thinking about her distant past. "Later, when I was with Xena, I met gods and goddesses-from Ares and Aphrodite to Odin, and even Kali and I believed in them. Then we died on a pair of crosses and we went to places called 'heaven' and 'hell.' Heaven was more spiritual than Elysia, but it was glorious and hell was darker and more frightening than anything I'd heard about Tartarus. I was there and believed in those places, too." Gabrielle thought about how this sounded. "I guess I was impressionable like Xena always said."

"Perhaps, you were merely searching for meaning."

Gabrielle nodded. "Not too long after those experiences, Xena was given the power to kill gods and in order to save her child, she killed a lot of them, including Hades. It struck me that if Hades was dead what would happen to the Elysian Fields and Tartarus? If those places no longer existed, would my loved ones be able to hear my thoughts? Would I hear them? I wondered when we died, what would become of us? I couldn't stop thinking of this. And, in heaven, we met an Archangel named Michael who was as close to god as any form could be, but he was manipulative. He was supposed to be untainted and pure, but he wasn't. We weren't too accepting of heaven and hell suddenly. From our visit to India, we knew and had witnessed reincarnation, too. This, I was convinced of and didn't question. Naiyima, the darsham didn't have to tell me, for I always knew-Xena and I were like lines of the mehndi, separate, but forever entwined and that we had already shared lives and would again. But Xena died and my world changed. I became unsure of everything. Would I find her again? Could she hear me? Where was she? Would we ever meet again?"

"That must have been a difficult time for you." Ratha felt Gabrielle's pain and uncertainty.

"I don't think I ever shared this with you…"

"What?" Ratha loved Gabrielle deeply and wanted to know everything about her.

"I had traveled north and was living with the Norse people. I had once felt safe there and thought it might be a place to start again. I had arranged for a room and was unpacking my few belongings. I picked up Xena's sleeping shift, lifting it to my nose, just to capture her scent again. It was a nightly ritual since she had been taken from me. That night, I sniffed the shift and it didn't smell of her. I was like a madwoman, moving my hands across the shift, pressing my nose to spot after spot. Her scent had to be there. I needed it to be there." Gabrielle relayed the desperation of that time in her voice. "I had never washed it, kept it away from all of my other things. I shouldn't have lost her scent, but somehow, I had. I was frantic. All night long I held onto that piece of cloth, sniffing, sniffing. It was like it suddenly was all over, like I had just imagined it."

"Imagined what?"

"My life. Xena." She said simply. "It was as if she never existed except in my head. All I had left were these things-a shift, the chakram, the sword, the saddlebags, and my scrolls where I had detailed our lives together. There were times I actually believed that I was just an inventive writer, like it hadn't happened. I spent days reading those scrolls and when I finished, I thought it was all too far-fetched to be believed."

"Gabrielle." Ratha's heart was breaking along with the blonde's.

"I can't describe the loneliness I felt. Ratha, I wanted to die."

Ratha wept softly as Gabrielle continued. "But I pulled it together because someone knocked on my door pleading for help and that was my job. That's when I knew it had all been true. I was a warrior; I had loved a warrior; we had gone on adventures. After that though, I couldn't bear to have Xena's ghost close to me. I knew she wasn't mocking me, but it hurt. It hurt so much. I retreated into myself and stayed there until I moved to India."

Ratha sat patiently waiting for Gabrielle to continue.

"Maybe if I hadn't experienced all that I did, I wouldn't have felt such confusion. If I had just lived a quiet life of a farmer's wife, I would have felt certainty in my life and faith."

"That would have been a sad alternative for me. I doubt the Greek farmer's wife would have found her way here."

"No, not likely."

Sometime later, Ratha asked the question that had been demanding attention, no matter how she tried to unclutter her mind. "Gabrielle, if you had not learned Kiran's real identity, would you still feel peace or did you need this information to move on?"

"I had decided to come back before I learned that Kiran is really Arminestra. Knowing the truth didn't change my mind. I still wanted and needed to return to you."

"Is that an answer to my question?"

"You've told me that there are many answers to a question. I don't know if that's an answer, but it is definitely a result. I wanted to come home." Gabrielle turned and faced Ratha. Using both hands, she held the Indian woman's face between her hands. "I wanted to get back here to you."

That night after a long, hot bath, Gabrielle reclined in the bed that she and Ratha had shared. Ratha fed her raw vegetables, flatbread and a bowl of lentil soup. Before long, Gabrielle fell into a deep sleep, exhausted from her travels, drained after her day's worth of talking, and calmed by the sweet smell of cinnamon incense.

Ratha placed the dishes outside their room and returned to the bed, climbing in behind the sleeping blonde and wrapped her arm around her protectively.

It was just before dawn when Gabrielle slowly moaned in her sleep and without a moment's hesitation, Ratha pulled her closer. Gabrielle snuggled in and moaned a second time. Lightly as if she were responding in a dream, she whispered, "I love you..." She sighed. "Ratha."

At first, they had been tentative with each other. Neither woman seemed prepared to make the first move. Ratha would not take on the role of teacher nor would she behave as a clinging lover. She would wait for Gabrielle. Gabrielle was afraid to push after her long absence and her muddled thoughts about the two women she loved. She didn't want to act inappropriately or insensitively.

It had been four days since Gabrielle's return and already, the two women were getting back into their routine. They started each morning with meditation and prayer, asking and answering questions about their personal discoveries; at mid-morning, they would sit in the garden and munch on apples, oranges, and drink a strong lemon and mint tea. Ratha would go off and work with her bees while Gabrielle wrote or practiced her drills (something she finally admitted was more than a mere dance to her). Just as the sun was moving past its highest point, the women would come together for a candlemark's long session of yoga. Both women were flexible and would enjoy pushing themselves to add more and more complicated positions to their practice. Once yoga ended, Gabrielle would bathe while Ratha finished up with the bees, pouring honey into clay vessels to sell to the nearby villagers. In the evening, the women would meditate again, allowing it to take its natural course. Sometimes meditation would last less than a candlemark, other times, it would go on long after the candle had melted away and they sat in darkness. At the end of the day, Ratha would take a long and fragrant bath. After, she'd join Gabrielle in bed and the blonde would breathe in deeply the mingled scents that were both pleasing and intoxicating.

On this fifth day, Ratha walked to the small stream that ran behind the grounds of the temple. Gabrielle was bathing and the blonde's beauty took her by surprise. The Indian woman stood paces from her and watched her in silence. It was her sigh that caused Gabrielle to look up.

"Hi."

"You are just splendid." The moment was exquisite. Gabrielle's radiant skin competed with the sun for the most dazzling golden hues.

"Then it has paid to be away. You find beauty in this plain body."

"Gabrielle, I believe you are fishing for compliments." Ratha moved closer and squatted beside her in the grass, lightly running her fingers through Gabrielle's damp hair.

"Uh-uh." Gabrielle denied, but her blush gave her away.

"May I help you bathe?"

Gabrielle quickly moved aside to make room in the natural cutout of a pond. She stared up at her as the darker woman stood and unwrapped her sari, showing off her delectably strong, yet soft body. Instantly, she felt her heart quicken at the sight. Ratha slid into the water, taking Gabrielle's hand for support and guidance. "Oooh, nice and warm."

Gabrielle nodded, unable to speak as her eyes surreptitiously devoured the body before her. The blonde, from her seasons of having traveled with Xena and having lived with the Amazons at different times, was well aware of the body changes a woman made during a moon's entire cycle. She could tell by just her small, furtive glances that Ratha was close to her bleeding time. Her breasts looked heavy and full. Her nipples usually pressed against her areolas, becoming part of the disk without any protrusion, but at this time of the moon, they were erect and extended. Gabrielle could feel a strong twitch of arousal beginning between her own legs. Ratha had entered the water quickly, but Gabrielle had seen the tuft of dark hair at the apex of Ratha's legs. She was reminded of Ratha's mouth-watering smell and the feel of that soft, black hair when she parted her, opening her flower to savor her scent and taste her. She licked her lips in response to her thoughts.

This expression wasn't new to Ratha. She had seen Gabrielle's eyelids hood over like this many times, had seen the blonde take a big swallow of breath, had watched as her chest heaved in anticipation, and observed her wildly beating heart lift her breasts under Ratha's gaze. Ratha smiled and edged behind Gabrielle.

Picking up the sea sponge, she gently scrubbed Gabrielle's back in easy circular motions.

"I ached to see this fierce dragon." Ratha commented on Gabrielle's tattoo. "And the woman who wore it."

Gabrielle sighed, loving the gentle touch of hands that knew her so well. "You like my dragon?"

"So much so that...Look?" Ratha stood to her full height in the stream and turned so that her butt was just above the water.

Gabrielle turned and looked down. On Ratha's cheek, there was a tattoo about a fourth the size of Gabrielle's, but it was identical in every other way.

"Wow."

"It was to remind me of you, I did not stop to think that I would not be able to see it."

Gabrielle pulled her close so that the Indian's back pressed against Gabrielle's chest and abdomen. The blonde slid her hand down to caress the tattoo on Ratha's cheek. "Nice."

It didn't take long for the nervousness to vanish. This time Gabrielle searched the water for the sponge and picked it up and began lovingly bathing Ratha.

Gabrielle experienced Ratha's body fully. As she washed her, Gabrielle moved around her, circling the Indian woman in an innocent yet titillating way, breathing in her essence, letting Ratha hear her soft breaths; allowing her to feel them against her neck, beside her ear, at her shoulder, near her breasts. Facing her, Gabrielle stared into the woman's face, feeling the power of home in her presence. "Your lips are so full, soft, inviting. Kissing you is something I missed terribly."

"Kiss me now, Gabrielle."

Gabrielle pulled Ratha to her. Ratha expected a mighty, lingering kiss, but Gabrielle barely grazed her lips at first contact. Second contact let Ratha know that they were at the beginning. The third touch of lips to lips came with a promise of passion as Gabrielle's fervor exploded in Ratha's mouth, making both of them weak-kneed.

Slowly, they made it out of the pond and onto the grassy border of the garden. The two women sat facing each other with Ratha sitting in Gabrielle's lap. Their bodies were in full contact-Ratha's heart pounding against the right side of Gabrielle's chest, while Gabrielle's beat to the same rhythm against the right side of Ratha's.

"Touch me everywhere, my love. Know me completely."

"Yes." Gabrielle answered breathlessly.

It had been so long since they had last been together this way that it would have been easy to slip into a quick quenching of desire. Instead, Ratha and Gabrielle fell into a playfulness that seemed to relax and welcome each woman back into the other's life and arms.

Ratha remembered all of Gabrielle's ticklish spots and soon had the blonde trembling with laughter and begging her to stop. Meanwhile, the brown-eyed woman was struggling with her own control as Gabrielle gently nipped at her, tickling Ratha's skin with her teeth. Before long, both women were rolling on the soft, plush grass, pretending to flee from the other's grasp, but failing miserably.

"Oh, no you don't." Gabrielle giggled. "Get back here."

Ratha had rolled about five paces from Gabrielle and every time Gabrielle reached out to her, Ratha would scamper away, sometimes continuing her roll, sometimes crawling. "No, you cannot catch me."

"When I do, you'll be sorry." Gabrielle threatened with a smile and leer as she tried to pull her into her arms again.

Teasing, Ratha asked, "What will you do to me?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Gabrielle nodded as if she had just concocted a plan.

"Perhaps we can work something out."

"Give?" Gabrielle asked reasonably.

"You can take anything you want, Gabrielle. I willingly submit to you." Ratha's response was seductive.

"Hmm. Do you now?" Gabrielle was crawling, too, a few strides behind her. Just as she reached out to grab Ratha's leg, it slipped from her hand and Ratha crawled quickly away.

"Yes, my love. I am yours for the taking." She turned her head to look at Gabrielle and laughed.

"If I catch you?"

"Visualize it, Gabrielle."

"Umm. Yes, teacher. I see it now." Gabrielle smiled as she closed her eyes. Ratha, caught off guard by her partner's apparent total immersion in the exercise watched with interest. In a move very much like a tiger's, Gabrielle's arm stretched out quickly and accurately, her hand encircling Ratha's ankle. "It worked." Gabrielle laughed.

"Sneaky as a snake."

Gabrielle's tongue darted in and out of her mouth doing a poor imitation of a snake after its prey. "Yes, I'm a snake." Gabrielle cackled.

Ratha laughed, rolling onto her back and stared into Gabrielle's green eyes. Hovering over her, Gabrielle smiled at her victory, but a moment later, her breath caught in her throat when she saw that behind Ratha's lighthearted actions lurked a woman bursting with hunger. And that hunger was reflected in Gabrielle's eyes. The Indian woman flipped the bard over and now rested on top of her.

"Look at you..." Ratha spoke huskily, overjoyed that her lover had returned.

Gabrielle pulled her down and they shared a long, romantic kiss to make up for the seasons they'd been apart.

"Goddess," was the only word Ratha could speak.

"Goddess." Gabrielle replied in total agreement.

Ratha moved down Gabrielle's body, slowly feeling her way from neck to chest, to breasts, past her waist, around her hips and down her legs. As Ratha moved up after a short, but arousing foot massage, Gabrielle spread her legs without thought. It felt so good to be this close to Ratha again, to have her so close to her need, to allow the woman to see her treasure that she entrusted only to her gaze, her hands, her mouth. "Please, love."

Ratha bent into her as Gabrielle rested her feet on the upper part of Ratha's back. Picking up one of the many jasmine flowers that had fallen onto the grass, Ratha gently crushed it letting the petals float onto Gabrielle's womanhood. It was a particularly juicy flower and the nectar from its base, burst through as Ratha squeezed it, letting it flow and mingle with Gabrielle's own wetness. The smell of jasmine permeated both of their nostrils and Gabrielle moaned loudly thinking about the time Ratha had said the flower smelled of passion.

Ratha opened Gabrielle in much the same way the woman opened any other flower when designing a garland. Her fingers moved with delicacy and precision, spreading her open, moving along the thick folds, slowly grazing the thinner petals, massaging them between her finger and thumb, sliding a finger to the place where the nectar gathered and spreading it throughout. "Oh, oh, yes." Gabrielle said, loving Ratha's small fingers against her. "Ummm.

The Indian woman bent further and began licking both Gabrielle and the jasmine nectar. She rolled her tongue over the intricate folds, kissing and nipping at her, sliding her tongue up and down the length of Gabrielle swollen pink lips. The blonde was lost in a state of sensory overload. She could smell the jasmine hanging from the vines and on the ground around her body. The strong scent of sandalwood and cinnamon lingered on their bodies from the soap they had used in the pond. The fragrance of freshly tended grass filled her nostrils, too. Ratha's expert tongue danced against her in a movement so primal--earthly, yet heavenly. Long black hair tickled Gabrielle's thighs and she reached out to run her fingers through the softness of it. She loved Ratha's hair--thick, yet silky. And inside, her emotions welled threatening to pour from her.

Now, Ratha's tongue was making smaller and smaller circles as it drew closer to Gabrielle's hardened center. Gabrielle felt herself surrendering to the intimate touch. "Umm, Ratha." Her hand fell from Ratha's hair and reached out to hold the dark hand that hugged her thigh. Pulling the hand from its position, Gabrielle brought it up her body to rest on her aching breast. She pushed Ratha's hand into the full flesh and with her hand over her lover's, she helped her knead it. Ratha groaned when she felt the pebbly flesh of Gabrielle's tight nipple. She groaned right into Gabrielle's center and that sound pushed Gabrielle further into the overpowering passion she felt for the woman. It was all Gabrielle could do to stay in the moment. She felt outside of herself while she pressed Ratha's hand down further, pushing and squeezing, rubbing and caressing her breast. "Oh, Ratha. Feels good." Suddenly as if she were noticing it for the first time, Ratha sucked Gabrielle's clitoris into her mouth and sucked on it with patience and care, extracting emotions from Gabrielle that the blonde had cordoned off during her time at the monastery. Now those emotions flowed and it was difficult work holding back. But holding back she would. Gabrielle didn't want to climax no matter how passion-filled the result would be. She wanted to linger right at this spot, never edging off the cliff, holding off that final surge of energy until she and Ratha had entered a spiritual place together.

Pushing away from her talented lover, she moved Ratha's hand away from her breast. "Not yet. I'm not ready. Please hold me. Let me tell you how happy I am to be back here in your arms and in your temple."

"Our temple." Ratha said, moving up Gabrielle's body so that they could rest side-by-side and cheek-to-cheek. "Our temple." She repeated while squeezing the blonde triangle between Gabrielle's legs. "Our temple," she whispered once more as she took Gabrielle's hand and did the same to the area covered by her triangle of black hair.

Gabrielle took advantage of her current spot and slipped her forefinger between Ratha's folds. Her stomach flipped over when she felt the thick, viscous fluid that had dampened her wiry hairs, her folds, and her inner thighs. "Umm, honey. I like this."

"I love you," one or both of them said before losing themselves to private thoughts. The two women simply stared at each other for many, many moments. No verbalizations were necessary, nothing demanded or requested from either woman. They lay next to each other savoring the moments of their lives that brought them to this point and lingering in the present moment that gave them such happiness.

The morning dew and perspiration clung to the women who had been locked in a lover's embrace throughout the previous day and into the night. They had both sent the other over the edge twice, but mostly they had been riding the ardent waves of desire for candlemarks. Each woman moved in the waves, careful not to let the other slip into the depth of orgasm.

The pleasure was almost blinding, deafening, and uncontrolled, yet they did control-breathing, resting, and speaking lovingly to one another. Their positions had changed many times. Sometimes Ratha hovered over Gabrielle, barely allowing their bodies to touch, yet Gabrielle's skin was goosefleshed with the magical touch. Later, Gabrielle sat in front of her, as the two looked out into the darkness. Ratha whispered requests into her ear. "Your breasts call to me. I so want to hold them, feel you harden against my hand. Would that please you?" Gabrielle reached back and pulled Ratha's arms, wrapping them around her. She placed her hands over Ratha's and moved them to fulfill Ratha's need as well as her own. Not long after, Ratha whispered, "I smell your desire. May I?" She slid her hand to Gabrielle's thigh and waited for a response. When Gabrielle arched her back, tilting her head back to kiss Ratha, the Indian woman slid her fingers between the Greek woman's folds. Long past the black of midnight, the women were back in their initial positions, Ratha sitting in Gabrielle's lap. Slowly, Gabrielle slid down into the cool grass and as she did, she moved Ratha up her body until her beautiful flower with its dark pink petals was a breath away from Gabrielle's mouth.

Now, at the birth of another dawn, they lay beside each other, each with one leg bent to provide access. Gabrielle's fingers were buried deep inside her lover. The two spots where the goddess made herself most known to the blonde received attention--inside, Gabrielle massaged her fingers over the rough area that had a bit more thickness and on the outside, Gabrielle's wet thumb slid over the other gift from the goddess, Ratha's hard center of desire. Ratha's womanhood held and enclosed Gabrielle tightly, barely allowing for the thrusts that had increased in the last few moments. The Indian woman grunted in ecstasy, seeing flashes of light and a glowing aura of bliss surround her again. Gabrielle's green eyes poured into Ratha's dark ones. The orbs never moving from each other.

"Ugh. Oh, goddess. Oh, Gabrielle. Yes, Gabrielle. Sweet elation." Ratha cried.

Ratha's fingers were actively seeking out all of Gabrielle's pleasure zones, too. Gabrielle pushed against those fingers, feeling the rapture building again. She could feel Ratha's hard nipples pressing insistently against her, her clitoris swollen and throbbing against her thumb. "Yes, Ratha. Yes."

"You feel so good. Goddess! Yes." Ratha's body pushed hard against Gabrielle's and she let out a strangled scream.

"Take...me... with you, Ratha." Gabrielle whispered, following the request with a low groan."

Ratha's fingers slid in and out of Gabrielle, while her thumb stroked her engorged clitoris. Gabrielle jerked. "Yes, oh, Ratha. Yes. Yes." She cried out surrendering with Ratha.

As the two women came down from their climaxes, their fingers remained inside of each other, relishing the contractions of their muscles, enjoying the stickiness of their lovemaking. Finally, Gabrielle pushed away, leaving her fingers inside her partner. She moved to her knees and scooted down, gingerly crawling to Ratha's legs. She looked at the Indian woman as she lifted one creamy leg, then the other over one of Ratha's legs. Ratha opened her legs up fully, spreading herself open. Gabrielle's head lowered and she slowly began licking her soft, aroused petals. "You are so beautiful." She muttered. "All of life's secret's are here. This is sacred to me."

Ratha moaned under Gabrielle's attention. The blonde's heart felt like a clay pot or vessel filled to capacity with love and desire. As Ratha's hips thrust forward and her hands gripped Gabrielle's hair, pushing her deeper into her center, Gabrielle felt the vessel empty and pour into Ratha. Just as the Indian woman came close to toppling over that edge, Gabrielle surrounded Ratha's clitoris with her lips while filling her with her fingers. Ratha's body froze and Gabrielle's womanhood throbbed and pulsed in response. Both women lay together in perfect harmony--drained, emptied, but somehow complete and finally sated.

Much later that day, Ratha sat up, recalling something she had wished to mention to Gabrielle. "While I was alone, working yesterday, I was contemplating reincarnation."

"Umm. Go on."

"I came out to find you to tell you about it. When you were bathing."

"Umm. Yes." Gabrielle smiled lazily.

"I was thinking about how you and Xena had gone into the future and met your future selves, but you didn't meet the future selves of the others whom you had loved. You didn't see your daughter, Hope's future embodiment, or your friends..." Ratha paused as she tried to recall the names. "Autolycus or Iolaus. You didn't see the future lives of your parents and Xena didn't see her mother or her son...Solon, isn't it? All of those souls you've cared about and others were absent in your travel into the future."

Gabrielle sat up, too and nodded. "Right. What are you getting at?" Green eyes turned toward Ratha, very interested in where she was taking this caravan of thought.

Ratha giggled, almost embarrassed to say, but she did. "Maybe I'm one of them. Maybe Niti is the shell that holds one of their souls. Or how about the other novitiates you had trained? Could each of them be carrying the soul of your friends and family? You know that Kiran is really Arminestra and Arminestra is Xena's future self, but you know nothing about the rest of us. We're all bonded to you in some way. As lovers, friends, and admittedly, some of us, like Pariket and even Niti are perhaps, thorns in your side, but the bond is unmistakable. Maybe, it is our karma that you and I are sitting here today and that we have shared lives together before and will again."

"Probably. I hadn't thought of it. " Gabrielle agreed.

"It is a moot point, is it not? We will never have that knowledge."

"No, we won't, but I am certain that you are right. It wouldn't alter the reason I am here, though. In this life, at this moment, this is exactly where I want to be." Gabrielle pulled Ratha to her and hugged her tightly.

"Gabrielle, life is eternal. It has no beginning and no end. The loving friends we meet on our journey return to us time after time." Ratha spoke softly in Gabrielle's ear.

"We never die because we were never really born." Gabrielle whispered in reply.

Ratha pushed back and looked at her golden one. "You must write that down. I belief we have discovered meaning."

"I will," Gabrielle promised. "But first let me hold you a while."

EPILOGUE

Far too many winters and springs had passed to count.

It wasn't as often as Gabrielle had wished, but occasionally, Kiran, who had reclaimed her birth name, Arminestra would visit the temple, too. As Gabrielle had predicted, she had far surpassed her mentor, carrying herself as if she glided on air, a serene and loving expression always on her face, a smile for the lonely, and a helping hand for the ill. Ratha and Arminestra became fast friends and confidantes. This pleased Gabrielle a great deal for no two women were more important to her. Arminestra was her soulmate, but the sexual chemistry she had possessed with Xena was not present. She and Ratha had formed a loving union that she respected beyond measure.

Each visit would find Arminestra asking her mentors questions about things she had observed during her travels. Gabrielle, being the one who had the most experience with the outside world shared her thoughts and offered advice on dealing with hostile forces, warmongers, and dangerous men and women. Arminestra relayed stories of a group gathering a following throughout the sub-continent. The small band of warlords were raising towns, pillaging, destroying lives and Arminestra felt that she had to go. Gabrielle and Ratha encouraged her, but reminded her of the perils in the world and begged her to not put her life in jeopardy. They knew the latter request never reached her. Arminestra was the kind of woman who would deal with any menace head on. She wouldn't resort to violence, but she would face her enemy and stand up for her beliefs. By example, she felt others would stand with her. Always, the youngest of the three women would end these talks by simply stating, "there must be peace."

Several summers earlier, Arminestra arrived at the temple with another woman-a master of yoga with a playful nature. The woman, Deepti seemed to bring out a more carefree Arminestra. Gabrielle's former student would hang on Deepti's words and grace her with a radiant grin in response to a comment. At first, Gabrielle found it unsettling, but later, she was happy for Arminestra. They were a good match and Arminestra seemed calmed by her. The blonde hoped the relationship would last, especially witnessing just how devoted Deepti was to Arminestra. It took only a few visits before all four women were comfortable together, sharing ideas, hopes for the future, and remaining students of life.

Arminestra had been Gabrielle's student and what she had learned from her teacher and from her teacher's partner about love was shared with Deepti. Late in the night and well into the wee of morning, Ratha and Gabrielle could hear the two women coming together again and again in physical and spiritual ecstasy. Their tender words of desire and groans of delight echoed throughout the temple. The first time Gabrielle had heard the sounds of their pleasure, her stomach tightened in sorrow. Arminestra's vocalizations were so much like Xena's--the way she cried out, her intonations, and groans were Xena's; her requests for a particular touch, Gabrielle had heard before coming from her long dead blue-eyed, raven-haired lover. Over time, Gabrielle was able to put those thoughts aside and would simply be inspired to connect with Ratha that way. The next morning, the four women would share hot tea and warm glances.

When Arminestra and Deepti visited the temple, they also offered their skills to women who had joined the temple as students. For over fifteen winters, Ratha and Gabrielle had trained hundreds of women, young and old in the ancient ways of goddess worship through meditation, exercise, and rituals, taught the concepts of sacred lovemaking, and ways to express true love.

With each new group of women entering the temple, there would be an uprising by the men who had followed them, intent on preventing their education. The men would come with torches and loud voices, some with spears and others with daggers. They would attempt to cajole their wives and lovers with promises of a better life at home and when that failed, they would threaten them. The temple became not only a place to strive for enlightenment, but a shelter from abuse. Gabrielle and Ratha were forced to rebuild significant sections of the temple destroyed by purposefully set fires on several occasions. It was not unusual for them to be pelted by rocks and pebbles when they opened the temple gates to receive the women. Gabrielle, like Ratha would take the peaceful approach, talking to the men, and offering them food and water after their long journey. But sometimes, the men would go too far and when the violence escalated, Gabrielle would run for her sais, give them a twirl and jump into the fray. (Gabrielle had come to terms with the duality of her nature and was at peace with it. She was nurturing, caring, loving, joyous, and open, yet she was a warrior when she had to be, able to embrace her darkness when she needed to. She was yin and yang, elephant and monkey. She would do what was necessary to protect those who could not take up arms.) Eventually, the men would retreat, beaten back by one lone woman.

Ratha and Gabrielle could set the change of seasons by the bloodshed and brutality at the temple. It only happened when they received new students at the turn of the seasons. The last attack had proven to be especially hostile. It was fortunate that Ratha and Gabrielle had opened the temple to would-be warriors-strong women who would protect those who walked a different path. When the violence broke out, the warriors in training surrounded the temple, taking down many men. Some of these warriors' lives ended on the grounds and for Gabrielle, it was reminiscent of the fights she had participated in with the Amazons-against the Centaurs, against Pompey and Caesar, and the defining Gabrielle battle against Artemis' son, Bellerophon. This time, she had led these young women into battle against their own men, giving them a talk of encouragement for fighting for their beliefs. It had been a difficult night for her and Ratha tried to soothe Gabrielle's breaking heart, but the Indian woman just had no idea what Gabrielle was going through.

Xena's words from long ago came back to her. Xena having lived a warrior's life knew how Gabrielle felt. She recalled two of their conversations after the big battle between Artemis' son and the Amazons. So many of the warriors had been killed and it had been Gabrielle who had led them. Gabrielle had told Xena she had done what she had to do, attempting to take the edge off of how she really felt. Gabrielle, I can see that you're in pain. Xena had said. Xena, don't…don't say that. Don't try to make me feel better about this. Half of my tribe lies dead on the beach. Now, I have to be as cold and ruthless as I can be. I'll do whatever I have to do to keep these women alive. Gabrielle felt that way again. Here at the temple, it felt exactly the same. She had won this fight, too, yet she felt a greater sense of loss. War's tough on us all, Gabrielle. Xena had commented. Gabrielle was living a new life, but it was picturing Xena's blue eyes, staring at her with love and sincerity that gave her solace that night.

There had been no recent conflicts since no new students had entered the program and life continued at the temple as usual until one morning. The day had started off no different from others, but not too many candlemarks later, there was tension in the air. It was tangible and eerie. The wind had picked up and the sky had gone from a pale, metallic gray to black by noon. Gabrielle had pleaded with Ratha not to go on her daily trip to the village, but Ratha insisted. There were items she needed for the temple and the only way they could afford them was to barter with her delicious honey,

A group of men had surrounded Ratha as she was departing the temple to the village. Her cart was filled with pots of cinnamon and lemon flavored honey. The men overturned the cart, breaking the vessels and pots by throwing them at the peaceful woman's head and body. Gabrielle heard a scream over the howling wind and ran to the balcony to find the cause of such a bone-chilling cry. She saw her lover drenched in honey. Her long black hair was matted and the brown liquid dripped from her chin, nose, and arms. Her sari was plastered to her skin by the gooey sweet. The men taunted and yelled at her, calling Ratha vile names. With each pot they flung at her, there would be another curse, another epithet. "Whore!"

"Promiscuous bitch."

"Man-hater."

"Sinner against the gods."

"Liar."

"She drugs this honey and feeds it to our women. They are under her spell."

Gabrielle had seen what was going on below and was already on the way to take care of it. She could hear the name calling as she ran through the temple, retrieving her sais, quickly grabbing a few of her students who were on the Path of the Warrior. In actuality, very little time had passed, but for Gabrielle, reaching Ratha's side took forever.

Her arms held the sais with comfortable ease, exacting blows with precision. The warriors beside her used their swords to assist while Arminestra who was visiting the temple managed to slip into the melee, pull Ratha out, and sequester her inside the temple.

When it was over, the few men left standing, retreated with the usual vow to return with reinforcements. This time, only two warriors were hurt-one of the new students had a broken arm the result of a man twisting it until it snapped and Gabrielle was left with a severe sword wound to the belly where one of the men had run her through.

Once inside the temple, healers carried Gabrielle into one of the three rooms reserved to treat injuries. While they tried to make her comfortable, Ratha with her hair still matted and face glossy with honey whispered quickly to Arminestra. The younger woman nodded, then ran from the room. A group of students chanted over Gabrielle. Ratha walked to the pallet and sat down beside her, holding her hand, staring into the face she loved so much. With immense effort, Gabrielle opened her eyes for the first time in a candlemark. Green eyes pierced Ratha's brown ones and the former bard, whispered in such hushed tones that it sounded only like breathing.

"What? What, my beloved?"

"Not the first time you've been covered in honey, hmm?" Gabrielle attempted a sexy laugh, but her inability to take in oxygen and the pain of her still bleeding wound caused it to sound strained and faint.

Ratha shook her head, the barest of smiles crossing her face before tears rolled down her cheeks. "N...no." She wailed.

After taking a few shallow breaths, Gabrielle struggled to continue. "Ratha?" She waited until she had her lover's gaze again. "You... took such care with me…sometimes being hurt in the process. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. I always loved you." She said haltingly, laboring to voice her feelings.

"I know. I know." Ratha squeezed her hand with all the emotion she had felt for her over the seasons.

A tall, dark-skinned woman loomed in the doorway, staring at the scene of her mentor and friend with an enormous expression of anguish in her eyes. Gabrielle's eyes slowly moved across the room, away from Ratha to behold Arminestra. Ratha turned and looked, following Gabrielle's eyes. She beckoned Arminestra forward.

The younger of the three women moved beside the bed with colossal effort. "Teacher." She sniffed while giving Ratha the black urn containing Xena's ashes. Ratha gently took her hand and guided it into Gabrielle's.

"Stay on your path, daughter."

As they spoke, Ratha, with tenderness and reverence placed the urn beside Gabrielle, so that her arm rested upon it. The blonde gave Ratha's hand a squeeze in acknowledgment before her lover stood to speak with one of the healers.

"Gabrielle, don't leave me. Please don't go, not yet. I need you."

Gabrielle's eyelids fluttered and it was a chore to maintain focus. "You have to spread peace. That is who you are. You are gifted."

Arminestra stood and began pacing the small room. "I don't care. You're all that matters. If I'm so gifted, I'll stay here and help you to get better. I will pray over you." She stared out of the window, watching as the wind blew leaves across the courtyard. "I can ride for another healer, one skilled in this type of injury. My responsibility is to you, teacher..." She turned to face a very weakened Gabrielle. "…mother."

"No, you are the Mother of Peace. Please, Arminestra. Be strong now."

Her long legs carried her back to Gabrielle's side in two steps. She knelt beside her, taking her hand. "I love you. You are the other half of my soul. I still feel that." She rested her head on their joined hands unable to speak. Finally, she sighed and looked into Gabrielle's eyes again. "What happens to me without my other half?" Warm, heavy tears made twin trails on both sides of her face as she clutched her mentor's hand.

"We will meet again. We are forever entwined, daughter."

"Don't leave me. Don't you leave me. Don't die." Arminestra begged, hoping that she could pray away the inevitable.

"We never die."

Ratha knelt on the other side of the bed, grasping Gabrielle's other hand. Gabrielle turned to look at the woman whom she had shared a life and bed with for most of her seasons.

"Ratha, we are like lines of the mehndi, too."

Sparing a glance at both women, the farm girl from Poteidaia, the tagalong, the sidekick, the Amazon Princess, the Amazon Queen, the Battling Bard, the student and teacher, the lover and partner of Xena and Ratha, the surrogate mother of Arminestra, the soulmate quietly slipped away.

MOMENTS LATER

There had been no midwife to call. Ajay and Pavarti had been traveling on foot, moving from their small village to a larger city to await the birth of their first child. Pavarti's water had broken and it was all Ajay could do to get her off the road and into a sheltering forest. She was now squatting beside a tree, her sari pulled up high on her hips. The young Indian woman had never experienced such pain and she looked at her sweet, young husband for support and to calm her fears. Ajay was close to fainting, though. When she screamed out again, he seemed to come out of his daze. This scream was more shrill and elongated than the ones that had come previously. He squatted in front of her with a look of worry. "Push, love. Keep pushing."

Another scream, then a sudden quiet as the baby's crown appeared.

"By the gods, the baby's coming!"

"I know that!" She yelled in irritation, while panting and pushing. He reached between her legs and began to gently pull as she pushed.

"Here it comes. Here it comes. Almost there."

With one final push, the baby entered the world and Ajay and Pavarti cried over the cute, alert boy. Pavarti fell back, panting in relief and joy.

When Ajay had finished the work of a new father, using his dagger to cut the cord and tying a small, careful knot, he placed his newborn on his wife's chest and then lay beside her. "You did great." He said, then kissed her forehead. "He is beautiful."

Ajay bent to whisper to his baby boy, then looked up into his wife's teary eyes.

"What did you say to him?" His wife asked curiously.

"To always remember that he's safe because love would be his guide."

His words caused a new flow of tears to leak from Pavarti's eyes. Ajay was a sensitive man and now she was doubly blessed with this handsome son. She smiled at the two men in her life and Ajay returned the gaze with the love of a dozen husbands and fathers.

"And we're agreed on the name?" he asked.

"Yes, Shakti."

NOTES:

1. "Golden Time of Day" is a song by Maze and part of the lyrics are used when Gabrielle explains what the phrase means.

2. In this story, there is a section about hostile and peaceful forces coming together (one in the valley and one on the mountain). Any resemblance to the song "One Tin Soldier" is purely accidental.

3. This story does not pretend to speak to any one faith-real or imagined. The real question is did Arminestra teach Xena who taught Gabrielle who added to it with Ratha who trained Arminestra who taught Xena who shared it with Gabrielle who delve deeper into it with Ratha while training Arminestra, who taught Xena…? A space/time continuum problem, perhaps?

4. As I wrote this, I listened to the soundtrack from "The Mission," a very moving and spiritual piece that really kept me in the mood.

3/5/02