Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust by Rae D. Magdon

Here she was, at one of the biggest parties of the year, and Alex felt... restless, for lack of a better word. So far, nothing interesting had happened. Her first few minutes at the annual DA's office Halloween Party had been spent matching work colleagues to their costumes. Some of their choices had been interesting, some had been funny, and some had been downright disturbing (Ridenour really didn't need to dress as Elvis if he wasn't going to choose a shirt that fit over his rather ample gut).

With the help of a dare and some encouragement from her friend Serena Southerlyn, whom she had kept in contact with since their law school days, she had modified a slinky green dress by cutting triangles at the bottom and covered it with glitter. A matching pair of shoes, a bun, and some sparkly wings completed her Tinkerbelle costume, and she was rather pleased with the results. Inexpensive, but sexy. There was no sign of Serena so far, but Alex had already gotten the opportunity to show her costume to several other people from the DA's office, including Liz Donnelly, who would be her new boss starting next Monday.

Thanks to some particularly disturbing psych evaluations that Alex still hadn't gotten the chance to review, she was being transferred. Apparently, the higher-ups thought that her stubborn attitude was just the thing for keeping potentially violent cops in line. This party was supposed to be her last chance to relax and let loose before descending into the gritty world of sex crimes. Although live victims meant possible votes in the future, Alex was still a little unsure about the unit she had been assigned to. She hoped that the emotional armor she had spent years building up as a debutante and then a prosecutor was strong enough to hold.

Alex knew that she should probably be schmoozing with some of the important judges and higher-ranking officials from the DA's office - the Tinkerbelle costume would certainly help - but tonight, she just couldn't bring herself to engage in any ass-kissing. Tonight, she was in the mood for something else...

It wasn't often that Alex Cabot succumbed to what she liked to term her "baser" needs. Most of her energy was directed towards her work. She didn't have time for relationships and other such trivialities. But sometimes, on evenings like this, what she really wanted was some booze and a beautiful woman to keep her company. In college and law school, she had made arrangements with one or two of her friends to take care of that problem, but in this world, the world of money and power and politics, she didn't know who she could trust. The ADA didn't want to come out now, not when her career was just starting to take off.

"Oh well," she sighed, not really disturbed by the fact that she was talking to herself in the middle of a crowded room. "At least they probably have alcohol here." A brief glance around the rented room revealed several tables lined with refreshments, and Alex spied a large red punch bowl in the center of one. The tablecloths were also red, probably to disguise stains. Alex knew from personal experience that some of the judges liked to get a little tipsy at these shindigs. Without hesitating, the bored fairy hurried over to the table and hoped that her empty stomach would lead to a faster buzz.

Dodging someone she didn't recognize in a black tophat and cape and ducking behind a witch to avoid the disapproving gaze of Judge Patel, whom she had never liked, she finally reached her goal: the punch bowl. Looking forward to pouring herself a drink, she reached for one of the plastic cups...

And saw what, to her, was the most horrifying thing she could imagine.

A huge black spider with eight long legs and a bulbous, hairy body was sitting right next to the punch bowl. Alex hated spiders. Not only did she hate them, she was terrified of them. She had even considered seeing a psychologist at one point. It was only in the past few years, once she had started living on her own, that she had learned (reluctantly) how to squish them herself without the help of a parent, relative, or roommate. The unfortunate arachnid did not respond to Alex's look of horror or her choked scream.

"Oh God! Somebody kill it!" Alex stumbled backwards, throwing her arms up to shield herself and almost tripping in her heels. The sudden, jerky movement shook glitter from her wings, and she sneezed and waved her hands frantically in front of her face, afraid to look at the black splotch on the table but also afraid not to look. She didn't want to let the little monster out of her sight... then she would be up all night worrying that the spider had somehow managed to crawl into her inviting green dress and follow her home.

Still waving frantically at the spider next to the punch bowl, she didn't realize that someone was standing beside her until a sturdy prop sword thumped onto the tablecloth, nudging the hairy black beast with its point. The spider didn't scuttle away. In fact, it didn't react at all. Alex stopped screaming. Slowly, she turned around to face her "rescuer".

"Um..."

"Don't worry, it's fake," said the brunette woman who had come to stand at her side. "See? Just rubber." She prodded the spider again. No movement.

Alex let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make a scene..." She glanced around, wondering if anyone else had noticed her ridiculous overreaction. Surprisingly, no one else was looking at them. The crowd was too busy watching ADA Jack McCoy's date shout obscenities at him. A large circle had appeared around them in the middle of the dance floor, and the woman seemed furious.

"I think that guy's going to get a champagne shower in three... two..." Alex's savior was right, and on the count of one, the furious woman pulled back her glass and tossed the contents onto Jack's shirt. "Damn, I hope that toga is just made from bedsheets. He'll never be able to get the stains out."

Alex wasn't paying too much attention to the commotion. She was busy studying her savior instead. The woman had short, spiky brown hair, dark eyes, and she was wearing a very sexy looking pirate costume. Her white shirt was ruffled at the collar and the dapper maroon jacket that went overtop hugged her curves. She wore sturdy black boots that didn't quite match the rest of the outfit, but weren't too out of place, and a plumed captain's hat was perched on her head. Tinkerbelle was impressed.

"Wow, our costumes kind of go together," she pointed out. "You don't have a hook or anything, but the color of the jacket's a close match." The ADA held out her hand. "Thank you for saving me from, uh..." She gestured at the fake spider still standing guard over the punch bowl. "I've got pretty severe arachnophobia, but that's no excuse for screaming like a little girl."

The brunette chuckled, taking the offered hand in a warm, firm grip, but instead of shaking, she brought it to her lips and kissed Alex's knuckles. "It's okay, Tinkerbelle. I'll protect you from the big, scary... inanimate spiders." Alex let out a playful huff. Maybe this party wouldn't be as bad as she had expected. Besides, she was in very attractive company. "May I have the honor of filling your glass, Milady? Just in case there are more spiders lying in wait." Alex nodded, handing the stranger her empty cup. So she was charming, too...

"Of course, Captain."

For a moment, she considered asking the woman's name, but decided against it. She didn't want to spoil the mystery or the magic just yet with mundane things like introductions. Costume parties were all about changing who you were and becoming someone else. For Alex's part, she wanted to become someone daring, someone brave enough to pursue what she wanted instead of focusing only on her work. Her new job didn't start until Monday. Maybe now was the time for a change in her romantic life as well. It could do with a jolt to bring it back to life anyway.

The pirate captain returned with her drink, and Alex smiled in thanks. The alcohol heated her face as she took a sip, and she gazed warmly at her new friend over the rim of her glass. "So, how have you been enjoying the party so far?" she asked, saying more with her body language than her words as she moved closer to her quarry, sharing body heat.

"I thought it was boring at first, but things are starting to get more interesting." The brunette welcomed the intrusion into her personal space, and Alex smiled.

"Really? Exactly what has caught your interest?"

"A character that walked right out of my favorite Disney movie." The ADA tried not to blush. Well, this woman certainly didn't beat around the bush... "I don't suppose you have a date for this event?" she asked, and Alex's opinion of her rose even more. It was rather noble of her to make sure that she wasn't stepping on anyone else's toes.

"No, unfortunately. I was going to meet up with a friend, but I haven't seen her here tonight."

"A friend?"

"A friend," Alex confirmed. "She keeps trying to set me up on blind dates, but none of the women she's chosen are quite what I'm looking for..." She let her eyes roam up and down the pirate wench's body, letting her know that she was exactly what Alex had in mind. "She's under the mistaken impression that I'm partial to blondes, but I prefer brunettes."

Noticing that Alex's glass was empty, her companion took it from her hand and set it on an available tray. She pretended to look at the spread of food, but Alex saw the woman stealing covert glances at her exposed legs. "You know, this punch isn't really to my taste," she said, eyeing the bowl with its accompanying spider. "I don't suppose you'd care for something stronger?"

Alex could see where this was going, and for once in her life, she decided to take the plunge. "What did you have in mind?"

"I have a well-stocked liquor cabinet at my place," she said. There was a heavy pause.

"I think I've reached my limit on alcohol," Alex said. The pirate captain's face fell, her brown eyes darkening with disappointment, until she continued. "But I would love to stop by your place."

...

It was surprisingly warm outside, and Alex blamed the heat on the alcohol as she followed her dashing escort out of the rented room and onto the street. Since it was Halloween, there were several clusters of children running from building to building wearing all kinds of costumes. The traffic in the streets was relatively mild in deference to the holiday.

As she watched a ghost and a werewolf in a plastic mask ring the doorbell of a duplex, Alex felt her companion grip her arm gently. "Shall we? It's only a few blocks to walk. I assume you don't want to lose your parking space if you drove here."

"I actually took the subway," Alex admitted.

The brunette laughed. "In that outfit? I envy the people in your subway car."

"It drew a couple of strange looks, but I wasn't the only one in costume."

Alex couldn't believe that she was really about to do this. Her "date" for the evening was beautiful and charming, but the ADA had never liked the idea of one-night stands. In fact, if she went through with this, tonight would be her first. "You know," she started to say, "I don't normally..."

"Neither do I."

Something about her soon-to-be lover's voice reassured her, and Alex let go of her worries. Maybe it was the alcohol or the holiday or all the changes she was going through at work, but something was stirring inside of her, and she felt a desperate need to lose her inhibitions and learn every inch of this handsome woman's body. She shifted the position of their arms so that they were holding hands and received a brilliant smile in return. The warmth of that smile distracted her until her guide came to a stop. "This one. Fourth floor, I'm afraid."

Alex looked up at the building curiously. It certainly wasn't as nice as hers, but it wasn't a bad part of town either, and the place had been fixed up recently. Besides, what did it matter? The only room she was really interested in viewing was the bedroom.

Without wasting any more time, she leaned in close, pressing her lips against her captain's warm, willing mouth and gripping her costume belt. She was pleased to feel the other woman's mouth opening for her, inviting her tongue to stroke and explore, and a familiar tightening began in her lower belly.

When she realized what she was doing, Alex saw that she had pinned the tan-skinned pirate against the door of the apartment complex. Her chest rose and fell beneath her ruffled shirt, and her eyes were wide and dark with arousal. Obviously, Alex wasn't the only one who wanted this. "Inside?" she purred, trailing a string of kisses towards a delicious looking ear and nibbling on the lobe. She felt the body against hers shiver as she sucked the soft, inviting neck so close to her lips.

The double meaning of the request wasn't lost on the brunette. She groaned at the thought and reached into the pocket of her pants, fumbling for her keys. Alex decided to "help" by reaching into her pocket, unable to resist squeezing a delicious handful of her ass. Even though this woman was fit and toned, obviously stronger than Alex, she seemed content, even eager, to let her blonde Tinkerbelle take the lead. Alex was just fine with that.

Slowly, Alex withdrew her hand from Olivia's pocket, dangling the keys in front of her face and dropping another brief kiss on her lips. "Looking for these?"

As soon as the door was open, the handsome captain hurried towards the staircase, gripping Alex's hand in hers. They paused every few steps to exchange heated glances, and once or twice Alex managed to coax her into a kiss, but both of them knew that many more pleasures awaited them once they were in the privacy of the apartment.

They reached the fourth floor, and Alex's buxom pirate stopped in front of Apartment 4D, caressing the ADA's hand as she reclaimed her keys and unlocked the door. Before she could open it, Alex pinned her again, nibbling at her lips and pressing their pelvises together. "We're going... to give... my neighbors a show," the captain panted in between kisses, trying to turn the doorknob.

Alex didn't seem to care. She grabbed her captive's hand and slid it up her exposed thigh, letting her feel heat and smooth skin. "Mmm. And they don't even have to pay..."

Somehow, they managed to stumble into the apartment, lips still fused together. Their bodies seemed to melt into each other as they nearly crashed to the carpet. "Whoa, easy there..."

"I hope I'm not too easy," Alex teased, kissing and suckling at an exposed shoulder. She eagerly began un-tucking the white ruffled shirt, wanting to feel as much bare skin as she could. "This has got to go."

"I agree." Between the two of them, they managed to get rid of the shirt and coat, tossing them carelessly onto the floor in a heap.

Wanting to even things out, Alex made quick work of her shoes and turned around, lifting her hair. "Unzip me?" She shivered as she felt a warm kiss against the top of her spine. Slowly, the dress peeled apart at the back and began sliding down her thin frame.

Once the dress had fallen down to her hips, Alex pulled it the rest of the way off, leaving her in a white bra and matching panties. She saw approval reflected in her lover's eyes, and Alex allowed herself a moment of self-congratulation. Maybe running in the mornings wasn't a waste of time after all.

"So, Captain, what are you going to do with me?" she teased, reaching down to toy with the buttons on the pirate's trousers.

Her answer was a kiss. Alex sighed into the warm lips that slanted against hers, closing her eyes and reaching out with her hands to grip the generous hips in front of her. But it wasn't enough... not nearly enough.

"Whatever you want, beautiful."

Alex felt her heart beat faster. It wasn't often she had a gorgeous woman offering to do whatever she wanted. Damn if she wasn't going to take advantage of the opportunity. "I want to taste you." Glancing around, Alex looked for an appropriate place to make her fantasy come true. Her eyes flicked over to the comfortable looking couch in the front room. It would have to do. Slowly, she backed the olive-skinned beauty towards the cushions and coaxed her into a sitting position. "I want to feel you come against my mouth, wet and warm..."

"Yessss," her lover hissed, obeying instantly and reaching down to undo her pants. With Alex's help, she pushed them down her legs and kicked them out of the way. The blonde couldn't help licking her lips at the sight of the pirate captain's black underwear clinging to the outline of her mound. Alex felt a large damp patch under her fingertips as she reached down, and she couldn't help growling low in the back of her throat. Pulling away despite the groans of protest from beneath her, she let her hands trail up and down, up and down both muscular thighs, avoiding the place that the brash buccaneer really wanted to be touched. "Don't be a tease..."

Alex decided to take pity. She wasn't sure how much longer she could resist this intoxicating woman anyway. Hooking her fingers in the elastic waistband of her panties, she made quick work of the last barrier and wasted no time dipping her head and covering the brunette's exposed flesh with a long, thorough lick.

"Ooooh..."

Pleased by the response she was getting, she tested her lover's wetness again, then again, teasing apart her outer lips and circling her warm entrance. The Captain's breasts bobbed as she tried to catch her breath, twining her fingers in Alex's hair and pulling her closer as her head lolled back against the couch. "That's it. Don't stop..."

Alex still couldn't believe she was doing this, but she knew it was an experience she would never forget - drawing wet, sensitive inner lips into her mouth and massaging, suckling, flicking the tip of her tongue against the brunette's hard bundle with fast, feather-light strokes. She wanted to taste, to take, to consume. Even though she was the one kneeling, she basked in her lover's complete and utter surrender, enjoying every twitch, every sigh, every low moan. She had never felt so powerful and desirable in her life.

She took her pirate captain's clitoris between her lips, continuing to tease it with her tongue as she traced the tight ring of muscle at her entrance with a hesitant fingertip. When she heard a, "yes, inside, please, I want it..." from above her, she eased in up to the first knuckle, rubbing the spongy flesh she found there and massaging it roughly. She was rewarded for her efforts by another burst of sweet and salty fluid against her mouth. The taste and smell caused her to hum against the swollen bead she had captured, and she felt the strong pair of hips beneath her hands surge forward as her finger was clutched tight by fiercely clenching inner muscles.

Not satisfied with just one orgasm, Alex sped up her motions instead of slowing down, allowing the enraptured woman above her to rock against her finger as the ADA kept her lips in a tight seal around her clit. The brunette let out a soft, strangled sob as she came again, throwing her head back and clutching Alex's hair tight enough to cause her just a little pain.

"Hmmm," the blonde let out a sigh of satisfaction, enjoying the taste and smell of the beautiful woman at her mercy. "So delicious," she murmured, almost wanting to keep up the movements of her mouth, but her lover for the night clearly couldn't handle any more.

"Well, I... enjoyed it..." she panted. "That was-"

"Amazing," Alex hummed. She couldn't resist one last lick before pulling away and climbing back up the brunette's body, nuzzling her neck and smiling against her warm skin. "So, Captain, I noticed that you were missing an accessory for your outfit earlier."

"Huh?" the olive-skinned woman asked, still dazed from two mind-blowing orgasms.

"Sorry, I'm still wondering how I convinced a woman as sexy as you to come back to my place. What am I missing?"

Alex latched on to the exposed neck, suckling gently and grazing the delicious skin with her teeth. "A longsword."

Both women's faces instantly grew red and warm as the comment sunk in. "You mean..?"

"It was the first thing I thought of after you rescued me." Alex was slightly hesitant, but even more excited as she confessed her desires to the naked woman beneath her. She felt the hips below her begin to rock slightly, almost subconsciously. "So, do you have one?" she whispered.

The brunette tried to answer, but her voice caught in her throat as Alex's clever fingers tweaked one of her erect nipples. "Uh... I-it's in my bedroom..."

Alex couldn't hide the grin spreading across her face. "Where?"

"In the nightstand beside my bed..." She tried to get up, but her legs, combined with the sensation of Alex's naked body sliding against hers, just wouldn't obey her. She tried again, and this time, she began wobbling towards the hallway at the other end of the room. Alex let herself take in the amazing view of her new lover's retreating backside, licking her dry lips. She wanted to feel the muscles in that ass tighten as those full hips drove forward, thrusting inside of her.

Even after her hostess had disappeared, the ache between Alex legs continued to throb. Going down on her gorgeous Captain had been an amazing experience, but her body was still thrumming with need. Idly, she let one hand drift down to cup her warm, swollen folds, hissing as her fingers dragged through her wetness.

"Starting without me?" came a low, husky voice from the direction of the hallway. Alex shivered and turned to look, but didn't remove her hand from between her thighs. She continued her leisurely movements, blue eyes locking with brown.

"You were taking too long." The ADA's eyes focused on the blue silicone toy clutched in her Captain's right hand. "I see your treasure hunt was successful."

The handsome woman laughed softly. She circled the couch and reached down to capture Alex's fingers with her free hand, bringing them to her lips and kissing the wet tips. Her eyes closed, and a soft sigh escaped her throat. Refusing to remain passive, Alex allowed her fingers to be sucked, but reached up to take the momentarily forgotten toy. She hefted it in her hand, testing its weight. "So, this part goes inside you?" She wrapped her fingers around the 'pony' seat of the toy, measuring its girth.

"Do you want to..?"

"Of course..." Without any hesitation, Alex urged the brunette to part her thighs, feeling the muscles beneath her hands tense. She took a moment to stroke the firm quads before trailing her fingers higher, testing her gorgeous pirate's wetness. She gasped at the obvious evidence of her lover's arousal.

"Can't help it," she offered in explanation. "Your touch makes my body light up."

Flattered and even more aroused by the compliment, Alex eagerly brought the double-ended shaft between her lover's legs, probing forward gently with the shorter end. The brunette let out a groan as her body accepted the bulb-shaped protrusion, clutching at Alex's shoulder with one hand to keep her balance. "Ummm..."

"You like that?" Alex purred, holding the other end of the toy and stroking her hand up and down its length.

"Yes," she panted. "I can feel..." Alex never found out exactly what her adventurous pirate could feel, because her response was lost in a groan of pleasure. With a mischievous smile on her lips, the blonde ducked her head and kissed the tip of the standing woman's cock. Although that action opened the doorway to some interesting possibilities, the brunette seemed to have other ideas. "Oh no, not again. It's your turn, Tinkerbelle." Before she knew what was happening, Alex found herself lifted out of her seated position and bent over the back of the couch, the silicone shaft rubbing tantalizingly against her as their hips aligned. The head probed teasingly at her entrance, making her legs twitch.

"Inside," she managed to pant, rocking her pelvis backwards. "I want you inside of me."

"Well, with faith, trust, and pixie dust..." Deciding that the blonde had suffered enough, she finally granted Alex's wish, thrusting the toy inside of her all the way to the hilt in one smooth motion. The attorney gasped, shivered, and began to squeeze the shaft with her inner muscles, relishing the stretch as the brunette's hips surged forward, picking up a relentless pace. Her breathing grew labored as the harsh thrusts inside of her shattered what was left of her control.

"God, more..."

Alex had never begged a lover for more before. She had never gone to a stranger's apartment with the express purpose of having sex before, either. But right now, everything that her charming pirate captain was doing to her felt so good that she didn't care. All thoughts of embarrassment and restraint were pushed from her mind by powerful, blinding lust. When she felt the pad of a thumb settle over her hard bundle of nerves and rub in heavy circles, her entire body seized up and shook wildly. The ADA's last thought before she lost herself in a powerful orgasm was that she wished she knew this marvelous woman's name so that she had something to scream.

...

"God, this is what I'm going to be working on now?" Alex made a disgusted face as she tossed the manila files that Captain Cragen had given her into the passenger's seat of her car. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her, and after their "charming" little outdoor brunch at a rather pretentious restaurant she had chosen, Alex had decided to take a quick peek at her new unit's open cases. The details weren't pretty, to put it lightly.

One of the folders held grisly pictures of a woman who had met her death at the hands of a stranger. According to her friends, she had been out clubbing with them, but left early on the arm of a handsome older man. The situation made Alex shudder, and she couldn't help thinking back to her own experience with the mysterious pirate captain at the Halloween party last weekend. She had thought about that night constantly throughout the past week, but until now, it had made her blood race and her heart pound with excitement instead of scaring her. Granted, women didn't usually rape and murder their one-night stands, but it wasn't impossible, either. Alex knew she was one of the lucky ones.

Making a conscious choice not to let the wonderful memories become tainted, she turned the key in the ignition and pulled out into traffic, heading towards Police Plaza. It was time to meet the "crazy" detectives that she had been assigned to babysit. During the short drive, Alex wished - not for the first time - that she had learned her Captain's name. Even though both of them had parted the morning after with a kiss and the silent understanding that they would never see each other again, Alex found herself wondering what the gorgeous brunette was doing, and whether she was remembering Halloween night, too. If she was honest with herself, Alex had to admit that she wanted to see her pirate again.

Finally, Alex pulled into a parking garage close to the station and exited her car to walk the rest of the way. However, the sound of a startled gasp echoing against the concrete pillars made her pause and look back. There, beside another car, was a very familiar face staring at her. "Tinkerbelle?"

Alex's mouth opened and closed in surprise. She didn't know what to say, and she strongly suspected that she looked like a confused goldfish with her jaw hanging open. This time, her Pirate was dressed in a different sort of costume. The sexy brunette was sporting a very stylish leather jacket, a tight black shirt that showed off her contour, and a heavy belt that had a gun holstered on one side and a shiny golden shield on the other.

"Well, Detective," Alex said, trying to keep her voice steady, "I think you look even more attractive in this outfit than you did in your pirate costume." The ADA could hardly believe that those flirtatious words were really coming out of her mouth, but it was definitely her speaking.

The detective ran a hand through her short hair and grinned. She strutted - actually strutted - to close the distance between them, and make no effort to hide her obvious appreciation of Alex's power suit. "Are you headed to Police Plaza?" she asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. My boss just assigned me to a new unit."

"Which unit? Maybe I can help point you in the right direction."

Alex couldn't bring herself to tell the gorgeous woman that Captain Cragen had already given her detailed directions. "The 1-6."

This time, it was the detective's jaw that dropped in surprise. "The 1-6? Seriously?" Alex just nodded, wondering why the normally smooth woman seemed so flustered. It was the first time that she had seen the brunette look surprised, and it was actually kind of cute. "That's my unit. Um, my name is Detective Olivia Benson." She held out her hand, obviously waiting for Alex to shake.

"Well, it's nice to have a name to go with the face." And the gorgeous body, Alex's mind added silently. "I'm Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot."

Olivia gave Alex a brilliant smile, but after a moment, a shadow crossed her face. "This isn't going to be awkward, is it? My job is the most important thing in the world to me. The work I do isn't pretty, but it's important, and with the Morris commission and everything, I don't want-"

"Don't worry," Alex interrupted Olivia's jumbled explanation. "Despite what you've heard, I'm not some kind of witch-hunter sent from the DA's office to sniff out rogue cops. My boss assigned me to this unit because I'm damn good at what I do. Your conviction rate will only get better working with me." The ADA felt a pang of guilt at the white lie, but she didn't want Olivia to worry. Alex had no intention of trying to get her into trouble. Quite the opposite, in fact. "Besides," she said, heading towards the exit to the parking garage and looking sideways to make sure that Olivia was walking beside her, "I have no intention of causing trouble for the woman who gave me what was absolutely the best sex of my life."

The smug smile instantly returned to Olivia's face. "I don't usually do this, but... have dinner with me tonight? Maybe I can tell you a bit about our unit."

Alex couldn't help smiling back. "I don't think either of us 'usually does this', but yes, I'd love to. Sometimes, breaking your own rules can turn out to be the best decision you ever made."