~ Bard Or Warrior? ~
by R. D. Elliott



Disclaimers: Don't own 'em. Universal, Renaissance, etc. are the masters. No infringement intended. Subtext? Sorry, it's main text here so if you're not suppose to read this, don't blame me. Violence? It's Xena, hmmmm, let's think about that shall we? Let me give a big thank you to Dawn who helped me to make sense of this story and hopefully keep from giving into a cheesy ending.

Comments are always welcome. (relliott6@satx.rr.com) Who are we kidding? We bards live for feedback! Why do you think we write these things? I always try to write back. Thanks for reading my latest endeavor finished April 2003.


The small strawberry blonde stood facing the massive warlord astride his horse. "Why do they all sneer and smell so bad?" she thought to herself nervously. Slowly he approached half way across the field, as she and the village elder crossed the other half. "Please, Artemis, let this work!" She had argued with Xena for many candlemarks about their options, but she was the Queen and the decision was ultimately hers.

How had a simple trip become so complicated? It was suppose to be a fun excursion to Riterious. The Amazon girls, ages ten to fourteen, were allowed to go along to see how others lived. And showing the nearby village their own children reminded the villagers that the Amazons were more than fierce warriors. It had always been a celebration. The children would play and learn from each other. The men of the village and the Amazon warriors would go out hunting together, always bringing back more than enough for both groups for the winter.

But this warlord, Braxus, must have been watching and as soon as the hunting party left, his small army swooped in and carried off every last child. The hunters returned to find the village in panic and the elders gathering all they had in order to pay the ransom. Xena and the Amazons had argued they needed to go after the warlord. The village was adamant that the children not be risked. It was Gabrielle who came up with a compromise both sides could live with. Four of her finest warriors, including Xena, would disguise themselves as slaves to transfer the goods to the warlord's wagons. Their objective would be to free and protect the children at the first sign of a double cross. Once the children were safe, they could always track down the army later in hopes of recovering their much needed supplies.

But Gabrielle and Galen, the elder, were not prepared for what they saw. The older village girls were tied to the soldiers' saddles as human shields. The Queen scanned for signs of the other children. "Where are the rest of the children, Braxus?" Her voice was firm, but inside she was shaking.

He ignored her, addressing the elder, "Bring your wagons to this point, then unload the supplies into our wagons over there."

"The children first," she said, steel in her voice.

"And who are you, little girl, that I should care?"

"Queen of the Amazons and if you don't want the entire nation down on your head, you'll show me the children." He laughed as he signaled one of his men to pull away the camouflage, revealing a shack surrounded with barrels. Her eyes blazed, "This was not the agreement."

"Come now, did you actually believe that I wouldn't keep a little insurance? You try anything before the wagons are loaded and I set the barrels aflame."

"What about the girls your men are hiding behind?" she dared him.

"Once we're out of the valley, we'll begin letting them go one at a time. You have my word," the sugar dripped from his mouth. "However, if we see anyone following us, we just might have to keep them."

"No one will follow," Galen pleaded. "Please, take what we have. Just don't harm our children."

"I wouldn't think of it, good father. Now get your slaves moving. I'm not a patient man and my lieutenant tends to be rather clumsy." He pointed to the soldier who stood at the end of an oil trail, holding, or rather juggling, a torch.

Galen signaled and the wagons drew close with the 'slaves' walking beside it. In less than a candlemark everything had been transferred to the army's wagons. "All right, Braxus, you've got it all. Now set the children free."

"I'm not sure I do have everything. I'm thinking you held out on me. After all, Amazons are famous for their gold and silver."

"We gave you all that we had with us. Our own village is days away from here and you wanted this now. Be reasonable!"
Abruptly, a deep laugh erupted from the mountainous man, then just as quickly stopped as he leered at them, "I'd rather be feared!" He rode to his lieutenant and, grabbing the torch, dropped it himself. "Remember Braxus!" he bellowed as he turned, signaling his men to withdraw with speed.

**************

Hidden within the woods, the Amazons waited for a signal that it was over and all were safe. Instead, what greeted their eyes was a tower of flame shooting to the sky. Ephiny looked on in shock. Pulling herself from her trance, she screamed, "Amazons, ride!" The hounds of Tarturus would not have been able to catch them as they practically flew to the field.

Confusion abounded; screams shattered the air, smoke billowed everywhere, people scurried frantically to give aid. Slowly the chaos dissipated as the smoke cleared and Amazons knelt beside the wounded.

Ephiny surveyed the area, assessing the situation. She looked at the shed which must have imprisoned the children. The flames licked greedily at the air and Ephiny knew only a miracle would allow for any survivors. And the miracle came in the shape of Xena and Solari coming from around the back of the structure and carrying several forms apiece. A few older children ran behind holding onto the two warriors.

"Artemis, be praised! You got them out!" She scanned the faces before her, then asked fearfully, "Where are Nickie and Tara?"

Xena shook her head sadly as Solari reported. "They had gathered the other children at the back and shielded them with their own bodies before the barrels could explode. We managed to pry enough boards loose to go in and get them out before the flames took the whole shack."

"Ephiny - where's Gabrielle?" Xena asked sternly.

They scanned the immediate area. The warrior's sharp eyes spotted a crumpled figure lying too close to the burning fire. In moments she was at the bard's side, lifting the unconscious woman and carrying her a safe distance from the roaring inferno.

"Gabrielle ?. Gabrielle ?," Xena worriedly tried to coax her friend to waken as she scanned her body for injury.

"What in Hades name happened here?!" Ephiny asked in frustration. "What went wrong? It was suppose to be a simple exchange."

"Braxus was more concerned about making a name for himself than honoring the agreement," Solari offered.

"I told you all it was foolish to trust an unknown warlord to keep his word," the warrior spit out.

"What choice did we have?"

"You could have let me take a group of Amazons into the trees to be prepared."

"He threatened that if we tried anything, he'd kill them all instantly."

"And he tried to in spite of our good faith!" Xena yelled.

"How were we to know?" the Regent fired back. "Gabrielle didn't want to take chances - it was her decision." They glared at each other a moment before the warrior returned her attention back to her partner. "What happened to the villagers' children?"

"Braxus used the older girls as human shields and rode off with them. Our own little ones helped to save their's. They're with their parents now," Solari interjected, hoping to ease the tension between the two women.

'What a mess,' the Regent thought as she took in the scene around her. "All right, let's tend the wounded villagers first and get our children home."

"Aren't we going after Braxus?" Xena snapped.

"Of course, but we take things in order of priority!" The warrior focused on the bard while Ephiny focused on the angry villagers heading her way.

"This is your fault! He said no tricks or the children were forfeit!" a farmer bellowed. "But you had to take in your Amazons and risk our girls!"

"The four Amazons who went in with our Queen were disguised as slaves and were under strict orders to offer no resistance. Braxus blew the shack housing the smaller children. If it hadn't been for our 'trick' as you call it, they would have been lost, too."

"Tomas, quiet down," Galen cautioned, "the Amazons have been our friends through the years. They lost two of their own children as they protected ours."

"I saw their Queen race for the shack in an attempt to stop the trail of fire from reaching it," offered a young man.

"It was obvious he never intended to let them all go. During the confusion he and his men rode off while we tried unsuccessfully to stop them," added yet another.

"I want to assure you that as soon as we've taken care of things here, we'll go after him and get your girls back," Ephiny promised.

"Maybe he'll let them go once they're far enough away. After all, he got what he wanted; a wagon full of supplies and what little wealth we had," the elder suggested.

Ephiny shook her head sadly. "I wouldn't count on it. He was smart enough to make us bring everything in by slave and villager and load it on his own wagon to lessen the risk of betrayal. Then he only took the older girls and none were Amazons. Your girls aren't taught to defend themselves thus it will be easy to bend them to their own desires." The implication of those words sunk in on the desolate villagers gathered 'round. "Now if you'll excuse me, we have work to do before we can go after them."

Leaving the villagers to sort themselves out, she checked on her own people, finally ending up beside the Healer who was assessing the young Queen. "Well, Nashalla? What's wrong with her?"

"A few scrapes and cuts, none of which are serious. There's a good size bump on her head, but I do think she should be awake by now. She keeps mumbling, but I can't make it out."

"I can," Xena interjected. "She keeps repeating 'all dead', 'too weak', 'my fault'. She's blaming herself for what happened."

"Maybe that's the problem. Maybe she doesn't want to wake up and face it."

Blue eyes blazed at the healer. "Gabrielle's no coward."

"I wasn't implying anything of the sort, but the mind is very powerful. The guilt over the death of children would weigh heavily on anyone, but for Gabrielle I would imagine it would be devastating."

"So what can we do?" the warrior asked worriedly.

"Try talking to her. Let her know most of the children survived. Challenge her that we have to go after Braxus to rescue the village girls."

The warrior leaned in close to begin talking to the tossing figure. "Xena, you and Solari should change out of that slave garb. Those collars can't be comfortable," the Regent coaxed.

"And I need to take care of your injuries," the Healer added.

"Take care of Solari. I'm not moving until I know Gabrielle's safe."

"But Warrior-"

"Don't even bother trying, Nashalla," the blonde Amazon interrupted. "Just take care of Solari."

Before anyone could move, the small bard's mutterings became more vocal and her tossing more intense. "No - stop! Please! They're only children ?. Stop! You bastard! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" Her body sat up sharply and though her eyes were open, they were unfocused. All froze in amazement at the gentle woman's words. Then she began to slump backwards and the warrior was quick to ease her back down.

"What in Tartarus was that?" Ephiny wondered.

"Don't know, but it looks like she's trying to wake up," Nashalla observed. "It's all right, my Queen, you're safe. You can wake up now."

The young woman lay still, her head pounding. She could sense several people around her encouraging her, calling her ? Queen? Slowly her eyes slit open and concerned faces swam before her.

"Welcome back, my Queen," an older woman smiled. "Would you like to try sitting up?" The old woman extended her hand while a slave supported her back.

"How are you feeling, Gabrielle?" asked a young blonde directly in front of her.

The bard debated whether or not to be honest with these people. But all she could see was concern on their faces, and decided disclosure was in order. "My head hurts ? and I'm not sure ?" They looked on patiently. "Not sure I remember ? you people ? or what happened."

"That's not unusual after a traumatic accident, my Queen. I'm the Amazon's Healer, Nashalla. This is Ephiny, your Regent, and-"

"What happened?" Gabrielle interrupted in a tone that would brook no argument. They all looked at each other before Ephiny volunteered, "You were hurt when the shack exploded."

"Shack?" Her eyes drifted over to the small building whose flames were just beginning to die. "Children ? there were children ?." The pain was evident in her voice.

"Yes, our children were visiting with the nearby village girls and a warlord took them all hostage."

"Braxus!" the bard remembered.

"Yes, that's right. But he went back on his deal-"

"Gods! The children!" Grabbing her head she doubled over in pain.

"Gabrielle!" Xena cried, but the bard was oblivious to the woman trying to comfort her.

"Gabrielle, listen to me," the Healer began, "most of the children survived."

"Most?! And that's acceptable to you?!!" she screamed.

"Gabrielle, please-" the warrior tried to soothe.

"Get your hands off me, slave!" The young woman pulled herself free and struggled to her feet. "Damn it! Who's insane idea was it to deal with a warlord?!" Rage rippled from her body as she paced agitatedly before the dumbstruck group.

Fearfully Ephiny ventured, "We didn't want to risk the children - we thought if we just gave him what he wanted-"

"Men like that can't be trusted! You should know that! I can't believe I agreed to such a ludicrous plan!"

"But Gabrielle, it was you that thought it best," the Regent replied.

The young woman whirled on her. "NO! No! Never! I couldn't be so weak!" Then unexpectedly she grabbed her head again, screaming in pain and sinking to her knees. Again Xena was there to catch the distraught woman and lower her back to the bedroll as she slipped once again into oblivion.

For a moment, no one said anything.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say that wasn't Gabrielle," the Regent finally spoke breaking the spell.

"It's certainly not the one we know," Xena whispered fearfully, eyes on her partner.

"I'm afraid the Queen's mind is at war with itself," the Healer offered. "When she starts to remember what really happened, it causes genuine physical pain. If we push her to face reality before she's ready, I'm afraid she might withdraw completely into herself."

"What are you suggesting, Nashalla?"

"I'm afraid we're going to need to go along with the personality that's emerged."

"For how long?" Ephiny queried.

"Until we can see signs of our Gabrielle coming through again."

"So we're suppose to relate to her as this ? this fierce blood thirsty warrior?" Xena asked incredulous.

"I think it would be best."

"Does this mean Xena and I are stuck playing slaves?"

"I'm afraid so. Explaining the disguise will only take her closer to the truth, which is what's so hard for her right now. I suggest you get Eponin and Anise out of their get-ups and pass the word around to everyone else to expect some unusual behavior from our Queen."

"Solari, go see to it," Ephiny commanded.

"How long will this last?" Xena demanded.

"There's no way to know for sure, Warrior."

"But if she sees me in my leather and armor, it might jog her memory," the tall woman said hopefully.

"It might. It also might send her into a state of catatonia. But she's your mate so ultimately it's your decision."

"I should have some say as her Regent."

The warrior stood silently weighing the possibilities. Finally she spoke. "I don't care that she's Queen. All I care about is Gabrielle. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her health. Nashalla, you're not worried that playing along with this persona won't do more damage?"

"Considering the pain I witnessed when we even hinted at the truth, I truly believe it's our best option for now."

Slowly the warrior shook her head in agreement. "All right then. But I won't let her do anything that she won't be able to live with when she does regain her true self."

"I think we can all agree on that," the Healer smiled.

"Tell her I'm her personal servant so I can stay close and keep an eye on her."

"Will do." A groan drifted over to the small group. "Ready to play your parts?" the Healer asked with a twinkle as she went to the bard's side. "My Queen?"

Eyelids fluttered before finally revealing the unnaturally cold, green eyes beneath. "What happened?" her voice mirroring the hardness of her eyes.

"I think you moved too quickly. But if you're feeling all right now, I'd like to tend to Xena," she said indicating the slave.

"Has everyone else been tended?"

"Yes, your Majesty."

"Gabrielle, you wouldn't know this, but Xena and Solari were responsible for pulling the children out of the fire," Ephiny informed her.

The young woman scrutinized the slave and was not pleased to see the woman meet her eyes. Xena saw the look of disapproval and, remembering her part, lowered her eyes to the ground. "Very well. Tend them both." She looked to her Regent. "Ephiny, right?"

"Yes, my Queen."

"I want a full report on where we stand."

While Ephiny explained the situation to Gabrielle, Nashalla happily led Xena off. "You did that on purpose," the warrior growled under her breath.

"You need cleaning up, Warrior. She'll be safe with Ephiny." Xena glanced over her shoulder not so sure of that.

* * * * *

Less than a candlemark later, Xena was back at the bard's side. The small woman looked up as she approached. "Yes?"

Xena noted the irritation in her voice. "Nothing ?uh, my Queen."

Abruptly the small woman rose and strode over to the tall warrior, yanking her by the collar to her level. "Are you an Amazon?" she asked fiercely.

"Uh ? no."

"Then you will address me as Mistress, understand?"

Xena swallowed hard looking at the steel in those green eyes. "Yes, Mistress."

Releasing her, she turned her attention back to the Regent. "All right, let's call everyone together so we can get underway. And let's send the slaves back with the children."

"Gabrielle - uh, my Queen. Xena is the best tracker we have. And she is also your personal servant."

"Very well, but send the other one back. It will allow us to keep a warrior here."

"I'll make sure we're ready to leave in a quarter candlemark," the blonde bowed, excusing herself.

The green eyes once again rested on the tall woman. "My personal slave, huh? Then get me some wine."

Knowing the little bard couldn't hold her drink, Xena thought quickly. "Excuse me, Mistress, but because of your head injury, the Healer said you were to avoid all spirits."

"Gods be damned! Ok - just get me some water and then bring my horse."

"Your horse?" she asked in surprise.

"Yes. Horse. The large animal with four legs and a tail. I seem to remember a golden mare. Now go!" she finished irritably.

"Yes, Mistress." Secretly the warrior grinned to herself. 'Well, well ? this charade may end sooner than we thought once she tries to mount Argo.'

* * * * * *

'Damn! Why did I have to tell Argo to be nice?' she thought as she watched her friend mounted confidently and inspecting her small troupe, then turn to address the villagers. "As Queen of the Amazons, I promise the people of Riterious that we will not return until we find your children and bring Braxus to justice!" There was a cheer from villagers and Amazons alike and then they were off.

They kept the pace quick despite Xena's concerns for her partner. And Gabrielle was the one who pushed them harder. "They're at least three to four candlemarks ahead, but carrying a load. I want that distance cut in half by the time we stop tonight." Tracking a wagon was exceedingly easy for the most part. But then they broke out on a large public road and had to stop to read the tracks. Finally Xena choose an obscure path off to the left.

"Are you sure?" the steel in the voice cut through her.

"Yes, Mistress."

"But the horses go with that wagon which stays on the main road. How do I know you're not helping the raiders?"

"Mistress, this wagon is lighter than when it started. This one heavier. Also the rider's horses are lighter which means they no longer carry the village girls as shields. I'm guessing they transferred the girls to the real wagon and the men went with the decoy to confuse us. They'll ditch the wagon at some point then be free to ride hard to wherever the others are headed right now."

Xena watched as the Queen quickly debated the evidence in her head. "Very well, you better be right, woman."

"Or my life is forfeit."

"I'm glad we understand each other."

Again they were on the trail, slower this time trying to wind their way through the trees. As the sun descended and the light rapidly faded, Ephiny called a halt. "We need to stop now, my Queen."

"I can keep up if you're worried about me," she said sternly though it was obvious there was pain in the green eyes.

"My Queen, it's getting dark, the trees are close, we could lose a horse if we're not careful."

"Of course."

Soon an acceptable area was found. "Amazons," the Queen addressed them still aboard Argo, "no fires tonight. I don't want to take chances they've left scouts behind. Eat trail rations and find someone to share a blanket with for warmth. I want us up before dawn and ready to ride the moment we can see. Ephiny, see to the look outs." With that the women dispersed to set up camp. Taking a deep breath, Gabrielle slid off the tall horse and felt large hands steady her as her legs hit the ground, threatening to give way beneath her. She turned to look into the endless blue eyes of her slave. "You think I need help?" she asked with irritation.

"Not at all, Mistress, but my duty is to attend you."

"Right. Lay out my things, then rub down the horse."

"Yes, Mistress."

The Queen moved among her warriors in an attempt to reacquaint herself with them. Her eyes rested on a tall woman with thick chestnut hair and big doe eyes. A name flashed in her mind. "Anise?"

"Yes, my Queen, that's right," she smiled radiantly.

"I have images of you beside me."

"We went on a journey once to Athens."

"Whatever for?"

"You wanted to go to the Festival of Demeter. You participated in a Bard's Competition and won."

"Me? A bard? Ridiculous."

"No - you have a captivating manner and a beautiful speaking voice."

"Can't imagine wasting time on such nonsense. I can imagine spending time with you however. You'll share my bedroll tonight?"

Anise tried to decide if she was being asked or ordered. Her eyes scanned the area for the warrior princess. 'Great - disobey and risk death at the Queen's hand. Obey and wait for Xena to take me out. What a choice.' Hoping her reply would give the young woman pause, she said formally," It is my duty to serve."

Green eyes laughed as they locked onto the Amazon. "I hope it will also be your joy to serve," she said, taking the woman's hand and heading for the bedrolls. They sat comfortably, chewing on cold trail rations, when Anise noticed the warrior approaching, her eyes shooting daggers.

"Mistress, I made a special tea for you. It should help your head."

She glared at the slave for the interruption. "Sip it."

"My Queen!" Astonished, the words escaped the brunette before she could stop them. "Xena would die before she let anything happen to you."

Eyes still locked, the small woman watched as the slave sipped the brew calmly. After a moment, the Queen held out her hand for the mug. "So ... you're a healer as well as a tracker."

"She has many skills, my Queen," Anise smiled, then noticed the frown on the warrior's brow. She glanced at the strawberry blonde who had suddenly grabbed for her head. "Are you all right?"

"Fine." The word came through gritted teeth.

"Will you need anything else, Mistress?"

"Go, eat, sleep with the horse."

"Won't you need warmth tonight, Mistress?"

"I've got it. Now go." Xena threw a cold eye at the Amazon who could only shrug helplessly. "Come Anise, let's get some sleep. Once this is over we'll find another way to pass the night."

* * * * * *

Anise woke to the scorching of blue eyes on her skin. Freeing herself from Gabrielle's embrace, she crossed to the brooding warrior. "Xena, please, nothing happened last night. Really."

"I know. I watched. Doesn't make me any happier."

"Sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help."

"As long as you don't help yourself to your Queen."

"Xena-"

"You take advantage of this situation and I swear you'll be very sorry," she growled.

So intent on each other, they'd failed to notice the approach of the subject of their discussion. "You arguing with my warrior, slave?"

They both froze, startled. "We were just talking about horses," Anise tried to cover.

"Why do I think that's not true?" Both remained quiet, the warrior still glaring. "Very well. Can't imagine why an Amazon would want to protect you, but I better never hear you talking back to any of my warriors again."

"Yes, Mistress. Can I get you anything?"

"Make more of that tea, then ready the horse."

"Argo."

"What?"

"The mare's name is Argo. I thought you'd like to know. She's very responsive if you talk to her. She's a good mount. She'll do anything for you."

The young woman stared at the slave trying to comprehend her motives. Everyone wants something. What did this one want? She left to find her Regent and make sure all was ready to leave.
* * * * * *

Before the sun reached its zenith, Ephiny silently signaled a halt. More hand signals and half the Amazons took to the trees. The strawberry blonde grabbed the young Amazon's arm for explanation. "We believe they're just up ahead," she whispered. "We'll give the scouts time to locate them." Soon a birdcall drifted back to those waiting below. "They've found them and they're in position to cut off any escape. Stay close my Queen."

Leaving the horses they quietly made their way within striking distance. There were only a handful of soldiers. The rest were still with the decoy it seemed. Ephiny gave the call and Amazons descended form the trees. Another call and those on the ground emerged from hiding. Startled, the men jumped looking for escape. Recognizing the Queen, Braxus's first lieutenant pulled his sword and ran swinging. Before he could get close, Xena had intercepted him, flipping him onto his back and relieving him of his weapon. Another man came to his comrade's defense, but soon found himself disarmed also. The three remaining men were quickly corralled. The girls were just as quickly released and checked over for injuries and abuse. Considering their ordeal, they were all relatively well.

The small Queen looked with satisfaction at their success. "I think we deserve to celebrate this. Let's take some time to relax before we start back," she said looking at her Regent.

But Xena was close at hand to capture the Amazon's ear. "Ephiny, we can't stay here. We have no idea how long it will be before the rest of the men arrive."

Gabrielle noted the quiet exchange between her slave and Regent. "My Queen, as much as I would love to indulge in the triumph of this moment, we must remember that Braxus is still out there with almost fifty men. They will be coming to this spot and we must not be here for the safety of our charges."

"Good thinking, Ephiny," she replied coolly. The petite woman turned to the small group which awaited her orders. "No time to relax, Amazons. Gather up the girls and let's get the wagon turned around. Both villages will need their supplies and gold to get through the winter."

The soldiers were bound and placed on the wagon to be returned to Riterious. Each girl rode with a warrior. Within a candlemark they were back on the path making as much distance between themselves and the rendezvous spot as possible. Two Amazons stayed far behind the group, keeping watch for Braxus's possible appearance.

Their speed was cut drastically with the addition of the wagons and the girls so they didn't stop until forced by the setting sun. As everyone went about setting up camp, Gabrielle pulled Ephiny aside. "I want to know what's going on between you and my slave."

Taken by surprise, Ephiny could only stammer, "What?"

"I wanted to set camp where we found the girls. And you were ready to follow my orders till that woman talked to you. You think I'm a fool? What's going on?" Green eyes blazed with contained fury.

Calmly she began, "Xena traveled with a warlord for many years. She knows the mindset and her insights have proven invaluable in the past. I saw no reason to doubt her now."

Again the young woman weighed what she'd heard. Her voice was steel as she spoke. "Once the girls are safe, we're going after Braxus. I'll not allow that piece of dirt to terrorize anyone else."

"Of course, Majesty." She watched the purposeful stride as the bard looked for the woman she knew as her slave.

Lookouts were posted around the camp. It was decided several small fires would be lit for the sake of the newly freed hostages. The Amazons would be on the periphery unable to enjoy the heat, but at least there would be hot food tonight. Gabrielle moved through the camp with hardly a glance at her surroundings. She found the dark woman lovingly brushing out her horse as she talked to it. "You seem to have a special relationship with my horse."

She glanced at the bard trying to read her mood. She was leaning casually against a tree, arms crossed. The body seemed relaxed, but the eyes were menacing. Deciding silence might be better, Xena merely nodded and kept her eyes down as she continued the brushing.

"You handled yourself remarkably well out there today ?. for a slave. Ephiny tells me you use to belong to a warlord. Is that how you learned to fight?" Again the tall woman nodded, concerned where this conversation might be going. "Is that where I got you?" Another nod. "Tell me about it."

The raven head was still as her mind raced wildly. 'What will sound feasible? Stick as close to the truth as possible, warrior, and maybe it will bring her closer to her memories without pain." "Cortese first took my village, then later Draco took me. It was Draco who was trying to take more slaves from a small village called Potedia." She paused and risked a glance to see if the name had any impact, but here was nothing. "You stood up to him and freed the women and sent his men out of the valley."

"Hmmm ?. I freed the women, and kept you?"

'Think fast, warrior!' "I was not part of the village. My home had been destroyed by Cortese. I had no where to go and knew no other life."

"So ?" she walked easily towards the tall woman, "you like being a slave?"

"Only to you." She dared to look at her friend now, hoping to read her. "You've been kind and caring and generous of spirit. You've taught me about love and trust."

Green eyes held blue, calculating. "It's obvious I've been soft in the past. Let's see if you still like belonging to the new me." Turning, she left Xena wondering if she'd ever get her Gabrielle back.

* * * * *

They were all packed and back on the road the next day before Apollo had a chance to begin. As they traveled, Ephiny and Gabrielle discussed the best way to handle the probable appearance of Braxus. Xena rode slightly behind to the bard's left, listening intently. Occasionally the Regent would glance over to see the warrior's reactions to their plans.

"Twenty Amazons can easily bring down the forty-five men Braxus has left. We'll simply turn and fight. The scouts will warn us in time to prepare," the Queen spoke firmly.

"True ?", Ephiny began to agree as she caught Xena's glance at the girls and prisoners. "However, our first duty is the safety of the girls. I'll guess they'll be a target. Then there's the five men we hold right now."

"We can use them to our advantage. They can be our own human shields. Give the savages a taste of their own medicine."

"Amazons don't hide behind people."

"Fine. If that tactic offends your sensibilities, then merely slit their throats. That should give Braxus pause."

"Kill defenseless men?"

"No. Administer justice to kidnappers and murderers." The gaze was unflinching and the curly blonde head shook in disbelief. "But the girls-"

"What do you suggest?" the bard snapped.

"Send half the Amazons ahead with the girls and wagon to Riterious. The rest of us will stop here and begin setting traps to even the odds. Once they've all been sprung, we can engage them directly then."

"You want to split us in half? How smart is that?"

"We won't be worrying about defending our charges, we'll have time needed to set up surprises, and if you'll allow us to keep Xena with us, she'll make up for the shortage."

The Queen glanced back measuring the slave's apparent value to her Regent. "I don't like the idea of giving weapons to a slave."

"She can be trusted. We've used her before."

"Are you telling me she can fight the equivalent of ten Amazons?"

"No - but a good five worth," she smiled.

"Since she stays with me, I guess she might as well fight."

"My Queen, I really think you should be among the group to escort the others back."

"Do Amazon Queens run from danger?"

"Of course not. But they fulfill their duty to protect first. And it's every Amazon's duty to protect the Queen so-"

"So you'd rather have me out of the way."

"I'd rather know you're safe and have our full attention focused on the warlord."

"I'll consider it. Whatever I decide, you may keep the slave with you. We'll break for lunch and divide then. You pick the escorts."

"Very good, my Queen. I'll go to explain now to save time when we stop later." Quickly she turned her mount to explain the plan.

The Queen reigned Argo in and turned to face the tall woman beside her. "If I find that you manipulated this plan in order to cover your own escape, I swear by Artemis, I will track you down and literally skin you alive."

"I would expect no less, Mistress." And indeed Xena did not, for moment by moment she saw her Gabrielle becoming more and more an image of the former warlord herself.

* * * * * * * *

The break for lunch was very brief. The girls were quickly resituated and the wagon off, Gabrielle leading the way. Those remaining immediately began to prepare; cutting logs, digging a shallow trench, and camouflaging ropes across the road.

As they worked, Ephiny broached a thought that had been bothering her. "Xena, have you noticed Gabrielle's behavior?"

"Yes, it's getting darker. She's reminding me of myself."

"I thought with the recovery of the girls, things might begin to improve."

"That's what I'd hoped, too."

"Have you thought what you'll do if ?"

"If she doesn't come out of it? What can I do except be at her side?"

"But she thinks you're her slave," she protested.

"Fitting, don't you think? After condemning hundreds of others to such a life, ending up as one to my life-partner."

"I won't allow that. I'll find a way to convince her to free you."

"Ephiny, first things first, all right? We need to get ready for Braxus and we need to keep an eye open for Gabrielle's return."

"You think she's going to double back?"

"Understanding her mindset right now, I'd bet on it."

* * * * * * *

Traps were finally set and Amazons were nestled securely in the trees patiently waiting the raiders imminent arrival. Within a candlemark, one of the scouts came scurrying through the branches giving out the warning birdcall. Moments later they could all hear hoof-beats rumbling through the pass.

The horses trotted easily beneath them. As the last went past, a volley of arrows was let loose. Screams and the mounts' confusion caused the men to spur themselves forward. This action caused the front row to tumble into the shallow trench and be trampled by those behind. More screaming and more confusion as the men tried to determine which direction offered safety. Before they could re-group, swinging logs were cut loose, bringing their numbers down to two-thirds. Now sharpened sticks showered down on the helpless crew. Finally the signal was given and the Amazons eagerly descended to engage the enemy directly. Swords rang with fierceness. Their numbers had dwindled, but the men soon realized they still outnumbered the women and this gave them courage. Though they rallied quickly, they soon learned that Amazons are not to be taken lightly. The warriors' goal was to take as many back for justice as possible, but that didn't prevent them from cutting down the numbers even further as necessary.

Xena slashed hungrily, relishing the freedom to let loose some very pent-up energy. Suddenly she saw a golden-red head flash to her right and knew Gabrielle had joined in the fray. Keeping her eye on the diminutive woman, she began to fight her way to her side. The tiny figure was a whirlwind of fury, the rage of betrayal fueling her attack as she made her own way towards Braxus. The tall woman could see the red haze of hate covering the Queen's eyes. It was only a matter of time before one of her blows killed. In shock, Xena watched her friend roll away from a blow, only to spring up with a discarded sword in hand. Screaming, she charged the surprised soldier. Without hesitation the warrior princess tackled Gabrielle. Angrily, she struck at her several times before seeing it was not the enemy. Though this realization only seemed to raise the level of her anger. The emerald eyes blazed as she brought the sword around for a deathblow. Xena easily sidestepped the attack and efficiently disarmed the angry woman. Lunging, she reached out to scratch the tall woman, but was quickly caught.

While the little Queen screamed obscenities at her captor, Xena's eyes were fixed on Braxus raising his blade. Swiftly she turned them both wrapping her body protectively around her partner. She felt a sword graze her side, but she kept moving the struggling woman out of harm's way with one quick kick backwards at the large man's midsection.

Seeing that his men were losing the battle, the warlord took this opportunity to slip away into the forest. Those left behind soon threw down their swords, knowing they'd been deserted. While Amazons bound their prisoners, Ephiny was dragging a swinging Gabrielle off one wounded warrior.

"My Queen, stop it! She saved your life!"

"She interfered! She let that bastard get away!"

"She made a choice and it was your safety." Xena knelt in the dirt holding the cut closed. She knew it wasn't life threatening, but it would need attention and defending herself from the bard's blows was not helping.

"She kept me from killing him," she yelled, kicking at the slave's head. Dazed, Xena lay on her back deciding that playing possum might be the best plan at the moment.

"Gabrielle, stop it now!" She shook the small woman, demanding eye contact. "You don't remember, but you have a personal code against killing. Not only did Xena save your life, she saved your honor!"

"Who asked her?!" she fumed as she turned and strode away.

The Regent knelt beside her prone friend. "Xena, are you all right?"

"Just peachy," she replied dryly.

"Let's get you stitched up," she smiled helping the tall woman to her feet.

* * * * * * * *

The evening found the camp in high spirits. With the men securely chained to trees, the Amazons had lit a large fire and were joyously celebrating. Wine flowed as much as could be allowed and all ate with abandon. The Warrior Princess kept track of the bard while trying to stay out of her line of vision. She noted the battle lust gleam that filled the green orbs turning them almost black. Several of the women here had always had an eye for the strawberry blonde and she worried what might happen tonight if the bard acted on her feelings.

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Stop worrying. No one here is going to give in to Gabrielle," came Ephiny's gentle voice.

"That obvious?"

"Just to those of us who know how you feel - and we all know how you feel," she smiled reassuringly. "Besides respecting our Queen, we all enjoy breathing." She elbowed her friend trying to ease her tension.

"Thanks, Ephiny - for everything."

"That's what friends are for. I'll see you later, it's time for my watch."

The dark head nodded watching the muscular Amazon move to the periphery. When she turned her attention back to the camp, she saw Gabrielle and Anise in a heated discussion. The body language was obvious; the bard trying to seduce the taller woman and the young guard trying to keep her at bay. Finally the smaller woman exploded, stalking off into the dark. Luckily the full moon made it easy to track the angry little Amazon. She soon came upon her friend beating a tree mercilessly with her staff. "Mistress?"

"What do you want?" she asked tersely, her back to her slave.

"I saw you go off by yourself. You seemed ? upset. I was worried." Xena let the love she felt fill her voice hoping it would calm the woman.

"Leave me alone. I'm fine."

"Pardon, Mistress, but you don't seem it to me. May I help?"

The Queen paced a moment, anger and battle lust both filling her veins making her head pound. She was angry at Anise's rejection, she was angry with this slave for interfering, she was angry that her body was ruling her now in its demand for release. "Kneel."

'Damn, this is not what I expected. What's she up to?" she wondered as she knelt obediently. Watching the Queen circle her, she reminded herself to keep acting her part.

"You fought well today."

"Thank you, Mistress."

"You saved my life." She paused a moment. "And honor according to Ephiny."

"It's my duty, Mistress."

"Yes." She grabbed the slave's head back fiercely. "You ever intercede again for my 'honor'," she sneered, "I'll gut you then and there."

"Yes, Mistress," she spoke quietly knowing she wouldn't hesitate to do just that for her friend.

Releasing the black tresses, she continued circling. "Tell me, do you enjoy the fight in the same way a warrior does?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you understand battle lust?"

She gulped knowing precisely where this was going. "Very well, Mistress."

"Good. Then you'll know what I want." The Queen stood in front of her slave. Again she grabbed the raven head in both hands, turning the face up to forcefully meet her lips.

The ferocity startled Xena. 'Gods, how I've missed her touch though." Getting lost in the moment, the warrior reached up to caress her lover's face.

Immediately the kiss was broken and her hands slapped away. "I do the touching. I'm the one in control. You do only as I say." Again she grabbed her slave being more forceful if that was possible. Try as she might, the dark woman found it impossible to keep her hands off her bard. As the little woman savagely attacked her body, the warrior's hands slowly slipped up to the woman's waist. This time a hand swiftly backhand her, splitting her lip. "Slow learner, are you?" Yanking the collar, she pulled the slave over to a small tree. "Put your back to the tree and get back on your knees."

The warrior wasn't concerned for herself. She knew she could take whatever the bard dished out. But what would it do to her friend when she realized all she'd done? "If only I had the way with words she does, maybe I could reach her.' Her mind raced while Gabrielle pulled loose a vine and tied her hands around the tree. Taking another vine, she threaded it through the ring of the collar and pulled it over a branch forcing the warrior to hold herself very straight. Not knowing what else to do, she pleaded, "Please, Mistress, you've never done this before."

This actually startled the small woman and for a moment she hesitated. Shaking her head as if to free it from a thought, the eyes grew colder as one hand ripped the coarse shift, the other roughly kneaded a breast, and her mouth captured the slave's. Xena tried to respond with tenderness. "Stop it!"

"I'm sorry, Mistress. Please ? don't do this ? not like this ? it isn't you."

The Queen looked at the blue pleading eyes filled with pain. Somehow she knew the anguish she saw was for her. Some memory flickered in the back of her mind. It made her head hurt, so she pushed it back looking for the safety of her walls. Backing away from the bound woman, she paced, pushing the palm of her hand hard into her temple. Xena noticed her agitation and fervently hoped she was reaching her friend.

"What is it about you? I have pictures in my head. I know you've serviced me in the past. What's wrong? This too rough for my big bad 'warrior'?" she growled with sarcasm.

"You've never taken what I haven't freely given," the woman spoke quietly meeting her gaze.

Cocking her head she stared intently at the azure eyes. "You're - in - love - with me," she said amazed. Xena could only blink, uncertain what to do. "That's it, isn't it? I kept wondering how I could control a big strong woman like you. Oh, I know you're surrounded by Amazons who would cut you down if you looked at me wrong, but I knew it had to be more. They're all so completely at ease with you. They know they have nothing to fear from you. You're not a slave because of that collar, but because of your heart." Xena remained silent but couldn't hide the love in her soul. Gabrielle threw her head back and laughed. "Don't you know that's only for fools? It's the biggest pile of Centaur crap the Gods ever tried to give us!"

"No. It's the one thing that makes us better than the Gods."

"Oh? And what has your 'love' done for you? You're a slave. You're tied to a tree. You're mine to play with as I wish!" Quickly she dropped to her knees, grabbing her slave and biting her neck and breasts.

Hurriedly Xena spoke to the bard, "Listen to me. I want you to know I don't blame you for anything. Remember I told you this when you're better. It's all right ? and I love you, Gabrielle." For an instant the strawberry blonde froze, her body beginning to tremble. Pulling away, a scream ripped through her throat as she grabbed her head and stumbled off further into forest. "Gabrielle, stop! Come back! Gabrieeeellllle!" Immediately Xena began to work on pulling free from the vine. "Damn it! She's finally learned to tie a decent knot." As she continued her struggle, Ephiny came into the small clearing.

"What in Tartarus happened to you? I thought I heard Gabrielle scream! What's going on?"

"Eph, quick, cut me loose. We've got to find Gabrielle before she hurts herself."

In moments they were both off trailing their friend. Broken twigs and twisted ferns pointed the way clearly. A quarter candlemark later they literally stumbled over a prone figure curled tightly in the brush. "Gabrielle?" Worriedly the warrior dropped to her knees, pulling the small figure into her lap.

"How is she?"

"Seems to be just scratched up a little. But I don't see a reason for her to be unconscious."

"Probably just ran herself into exhaustion."

"What if it's like Nashalla said? Her mind closing in on her?"

"Xena, let's not borrow trouble, all right? First we get her back to camp and cleaned up. Then we'll wake her long enough to get some of the healer's special brew down her and she'll be fine by morning."

"I hope you're right," her voice cracked as she picked up the small woman.

"Can you tell me what happened?" They walked in silence a moment before the warrior began to relate the events. When she'd finished, Ephiny nodded her head in understanding. "You were reaching her. That's good!" she said encouragingly.

"But she ran, Ephiny. I may have done more damage than good."

"At least the fact that it caused conflict in her tells us that our Gabrielle is still in there. And I think you're our key."

"I don't know what to do."

"Just keep letting her know you love her. That will be her healing."

"I hope so."

They stepped into camp and gently Xena laid the still form on the bedrolls. Methodically she began to cleanse the cuts and scrapes with a gentleness that always amazed Ephiny. When she was finished, the Amazon was at her side handing her the mug of special herbs. "See if you can get her to drink."

Gently she raised the figure to a sitting position. "Gabrielle," she whispered, "Gabrielle, I need you to drink this. It'll help you. Come on, love, please." Eyelids fluttered and barely slit open, but the mouth opened and she swallowed. "Thank you dear one," the large woman sighed in relief and bent to kiss her forehead without thought. She imagined she saw the faint trace of a smile on her partner's face. Looking to Ephiny for confirmation, the Regent nodded encouragingly. "Yes, you're the key. Now let her sleep and let's get you cleaned up, too. And we better get that shift mended or I'll have a lot of hot Amazons to deal with." Xena merely snorted at her and began to tend her shift. "Here, put this on your lip and eye," she finished, handing her friend a cold cloth and poultice.

"Thanks." When all was completed, she slipped in behind the bard, spooning her body and giving her own warmth.

* * * * * *

Morning came too soon for the warrior princess who had fitfully watched her friend through the night. Without a word, the Queen went about her business, occasionally throwing a sideways glance at her slave. Ephiny noticed the odd behavior as they broke camp. "I think she's upset she hurt you."

"I think I make her uncomfortable."

"Whatever. The point is - you make her think - you cause feelings to stir. The Gabrielle we know is trying to come out."

"As long as I don't cause her pain, I'll be happy to be the burr under her saddle."

"Xena, saddle my horse," came a stern voice. "And pack some trail rations."

"Yes, Mistress." Xena turned a quizzical look back at the Regent.

"Ephiny, I'll be going after Braxus. You take the prisoners in."

Startled by this announcement, Ephiny turned on her, "That's impossible."

"Are you defying me?" the green eyes blazed hot with anger.

"Yes, my Queen." She met the gaze unwavering. "We had only eleven Amazons to bring down a small army. Two of our sisters were injured. That leaves us with nine to get thirty-five prisoners back to the village. As Queen, you must have at least a two-guard escort. That puts us at six. Somehow I don't like our odds for getting that many men back even if they're bound and some injured."

Slowly the rage drained from the small bard. "You're right of course. I'm just so angry at that bastard. It's all I can think of."

"I understand, my Queen."

"But as soon as the prisoners are delivered, I'll be going after him," she spoke with determination.

"And I'll be right at your side," her friend smiled gently.

The trek back was uneventful. Many of the soldiers had to carry their wounded comrades, which made escape impossible. Besides, they were all too demoralized at being captured by a handful of women and deserted by their commander to care about causing any trouble.

By late afternoon they were met on the trail by a regiment of Amazons. Cheers rose from the group as they saw their Amazon sisters victoriously leading in the bound men.

"Congratulations, my Queen!" called Eponin.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"Once we took the girls back, our duty done, we double backed to help. But obviously you didn't need us," she smiled broadly.

"Good thinking, Eponin." Grudgingly she added, "Sorry I snapped. You've saved us valuable time. You take these men back. Ephiny, Anise, and I are going after Braxus. Xena, pack some supplies for us quickly. We're leaving immediately."

"My Queen, it's late afternoon. Maybe we should rest and get an early start tomorrow," the Regent ventured.

"And give him even more time to put distance between us?"

"But you're exhausted-"

"The Queen is right," Xena spoke softly at the bard's side. She turned to eye her slave suspiciously, but was also glad for the support. "I have our supplies ready, Mistress."

She nodded approvingly, "Let's go."

As the Amazons escorted the ragtag group over the hill, the four women turned their mounts back in the direction of their last battle. Without the hindrance of the large group, they were able to push their horses. The half moon allowed them to make it all the way back. It was late and the women exhausted from the hard ride. "No fire, just grab a trail bar. Xena, rub down the horses thoroughly." The large woman merely nodded as she observed the Amazons laying out their blankets. Ephiny and Anise sandwiched their Queen between them. The warrior had to stifle a smile, knowing they did this not only for warmth and protection, but to make sure the bard didn't slip off on her own during the night.

* * * * * *

As dawn approached, blue eyes blinked open in surprise. 'Well ? well ?her mind might not remember, but her body does,' she thought glancing at the small woman sprawled nearly on top of her. Before she could decide how to handle this predicament, green eyes fluttered open. Realizing her position, the bard pushed off quickly. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, Mistress. The Regent relieved me of my watch and told me to take her place to keep you safe. I thought my Mistress wished me to obey her Amazons." She said it with a straight face, but there was the littlest twinkle in her eye.

"Of course ? of course. Uh ? now prepare the horses," the Queen spoke firmly wondering if she had seen the hint of a smile on her slave's face.

Chores and personal needs were quickly seen to and Xena began tracking the elusive warlord. At first the trail was clear and obvious as he ran heedless from the battle. But the further away he got, the more Braxus realized his need to be careful. Several times the Queen worried her slave had lost his trail, but after a moment she'd find it again. 'She tracks like a wolf. Must be why I keep her.'

"He's slowing down. Either he's injured or stupid enough to think we'd lose interest in him. I think we've managed to cut the distance to half a day."

"Then let's keep moving, we'll eat in the saddle."

Though they rode as hard as they dared, careful not to miss Braxus's tracks, they also made sure to walk with the horses to keep from running them into the ground. They kept on till darkness covered them. Tonight clouds hid the moon as a storm threatened to break. Again Xena's knowledge of the area proved invaluable as she led them to a cave for shelter.

"I don't like this. If the rain comes, it'll wash out his trail. We should keep moving. We can carry torches for light," the bard argued as she paced highly agitated.

The Regent replied with a laugh, "Great! We can give him fair warning we're coming and even provide him easy targets."

"And what do we do if the trail gets washed away? You can't track what's not there!"

"Mistress, if you'll allow, I'll scout ahead."

The small woman turned to study her slave. Perhaps the slave had had enough of the new her and was using this opportunity as a ploy for escape. "What assurance do I have you won't warn him or try to escape yourself?"

"Because I give you my word and if you look in your heart, you know I speak true," she spoke softly, daring to look Gabrielle in the eye. They stayed that way for several moments.

"Go." The tall woman slipped out instantly. The bard continued to stare after her.

Anise saw the conflicting emotions flitting across the Queen's face. "Don't worry, she'll be fine."

The small woman looked at her warrior perplexed. Why would she be worried about a slave? All she cared about was finding that bastard.

That night Zeus threw his lightening bolts fiercely, shaking the earth. Though they were dry and protected, still the women found it difficult to sleep. Several candlemarks before dawn the deluge finally stopped and a little later one drenched warrior princess entered the cave. As quietly as possible she dried herself and grabbed a blanket to keep the chill off.

"Xena," came Anise's quiet voice, "you all right?"

"Just fine," she whispered in reply. "I know exactly where he is. We'll be able to pick him up easily."

"I'm surprised you didn't just haul him back here yourself."

"I was tempted, but I figured it would be better for Gabrielle to face him and do that herself."

"Then maybe we'll be able to get all our lives back to normal."

"I certainly hope so."

"We have a little time before Apollo begins his ride. You must be exhausted. Get some rest."

"Thanks. I think I will catch a little nap."

* * * * * * *

All too soon Xena felt a boot nudge her awake. "Anise says you found him. Let's move before he gets away!" She felt the small woman's hand wrap around the collar, yanking her to her feet. She could see the fire in those eyes that knew her prey was close.

Ephiny's voice pulled her around. "Gabrielle, take it easy on her. She was up half the night tracking in that storm. Xena knows the importance of haste."

"I don't want to lose him! Now let's go!"

"Yes, Mistress," the warrior replied and began to move out of the cave leading the way on foot. Gabrielle was on her tail while Anise and Ephiny scrambled to gather their things and hurry after the other two.

Before a candlemark had passed, they had come upon Braxus's camp. Xena couldn't help but wonder how the man had lasted this long. He was still snoring loudly as they surrounded him. Green eyes gleaming, Gabrielle roughly rapped the soles of his boots with her staff. "Morning, Braxus," she sneered. Fear was evident in his eyes as he tried to scoot away from them and reach for his sword. But Anise's foot already had it pinned down. "No. Let him have it," the Queen commanded. "I'm going to give you a chance to die like a man, a better chance than you gave us." Turning briefly to the women, she commanded, "No interference - that's an order! Now pick up your sword! Do it!" The voice bellowed at him and he could see the madness in her eyes. Rolling quickly he grabbed his blade and was on his feet swinging at her fiercely. The bard blocked the blade with ease and began her own assault.

Xena looked on, worried about her lover. She knew anger caused fighters to make deadly mistakes. But she also looked on with pride as her life partner swung the staff with skill and accuracy. Almost before it had begun, it was over. The staff came down hard on Braxus's sword arm, shattering it. But the little red-blonde fury didn't stop. The staff swung up, clipping him firmly on the jaw and sending him onto his back. With one arm raised to protect his head, the fierce warlord began to whimper, "I surrender! I surrender!" Again the staff lashed out, breaking the other arm. "Mercy! Please, mercy!"

"You dare to ask for mercy after the way you treated our children?!! You're a sniveling coward without honor! Why should I show the likes of you mercy?!" Again the staff landed firmly on the man's knee causing a resounding crack. He screamed, writhing and crying on the ground.

Ephiny shouted to her friend, "Gabrielle, stop! It's over!"

But it was obvious that it was not over for the bard. The staff swung high and came around into a wide arc into what could only be a deathblow. Inches from the man's neck, the weapon halted, held firmly in the iron grip of the warrior princess. "It's over, Gabrielle," she spoke quietly sadness filling her eyes.

The small woman stood still in shock, then erupted, "How dare you!" She yanked the staff free and swung at the woman before her who easily dodged the blow. This had gone on long enough and Ephiny threw herself between them trying to quiet her friend.

"Gabrielle, stop it now! He surrendered - Amazons don't kill the defenseless - you don't kill!"

"That is for me to decide - not some slave!" she raged. "I told her I'd gut her if she ever interfered again and I mean to keep that promise!"

Damn. Now what could she do? To save Xena, she'd have to challenge Gabrielle for the mask. The one thing the bard had taught her was that when you're in an impossible situation, start talking, and don't stop. She prayed it would work on the bard, too. "Would you kill your horse for bucking you off? No! It's too valuable to kill for a stupid mistake. And Xena's too valuable to the whole tribe. And to you, too, if you could only remember. You - will - not - kill - her."

The Queen could tell by the woman's stance she would not back down. If she wanted her revenge, she'd have to go through her Regent, which made her uncomfortable. But she would not be dictated to by anyone! She couldn't back down. Isn't that how she lost the children in the first place? "Fine, but you punish disobedience. And what is Amazon law for disobedience to one's Queen?"

Ephiny blinked and gulped, "Ten lashes."

"Then do - it - now." She glared at the Regent daring her to disobey.

Slowly the curly headed woman backed up and turned to her tall friend. Walking up to her, she whispered under her breath, "Now what do we do?"

"It's all right. I can handle it and it's better than the alternative." She gave her friend a small crooked smile to ease her pain.

"You'd do anything to protect her, wouldn't you." It was more statement than question as she looked into the determined blue eyes. "All right then, let's get this over with." Ephiny walked over to her saddle and removed her whip as Xena braced herself against a tree.

"Tie her."

"What?"

"You heard me, tie her. I want it done properly."

Ephiny studied the small woman's features. Confusion, anger, fear, guilt all warred within her. Suddenly the Regent was inspired with a plan, at least she hoped it was inspiration from above. Grabbing rope, she escorted the warrior between two trees and began tying her securely between them. "Hey Ephiny," the dark woman muttered, "you can go easy on the ropes. I'm not going anywhere."

Looking deeply into her friend's eyes, she asked, "Trust me. I think I have a plan."

"You think you've got a plan? Why does this not sound good?" She pulled unconsciously at the restraints and knew there would be no getting out of them. Then she realized that the Amazon was binding her ankles making movement almost impossible. 'What in Tartarus is she thinking?'

"She's ready my Queen."

"Begin."

The Amazon merely walked to Gabrielle, placing the whip in her hands. "I can't, my Queen. You decreed that no one should ever strike your slave, but you.'

'Gods! What was Ephiny doing? Is she thinking Gabrielle will back down? But if she doesn't, she'll never forgive herself for hurting me." "Ephiny! Gods be damned! Don't do this!" She tried to twist herself around to look at her friend. She tried to pull herself free, but the woman knew her knots and the warrior was held fast.

At first the Warrior Queen was going to order her Regent to do it knowing how fond she was of the tall woman. But seeing the slave struggle and plead caused her to think she might actually enjoy doing it herself. She took the offered whip and strode into place. She listened to the angry shouts of her slave and heard fear in that voice. She cracked the whip to the side and the noise brought stillness to the struggling figure. "I see I have your attention." She let the whip lick the air again as she moved closer.

"Mistress, please ? may I speak?"

"Think you can sweet talk me into sparing you?"

"No." Xena took a breath. "But I do want to ask for your forgiveness."

"For interfering?" She smiled and began to circle around to face the woman.

"For failing to protect you when Braxus betrayed you. Everything that's followed has been my fault. I'm sorry." The Queen looked into blue eyes that held sorrow brimmed with tightly held tears. The sight caused her to blink. Again she realized the sympathy was for her. "I know I deserve this."

"You've got that right!" she spat, walking away unable to look at the slave's pain. Taking a stance, she pulled her arm back. "For disobedience!" She yelled as she let the whip sail. It cracked hard against the woman's back, but no sound came from her. "I guess I've gotten soft." Again the whip made its journey, but still nothing escaped the slave's lips. This infuriated the small woman. "What's the matter, slave? Don't care for my technique? Let me try again." Ephiny started to slowly make her way to Xena while Gabrielle continued her assault. "You think you're stronger than me? You'll learn! No one deceives me!" Though the lash continued to fall, the warrior remained silent.

Standing directly in front of her friend, the Regent explained, "I never thought she'd be able to do it." The blue eyes reflected the anger she felt mixed with the pain. "I'll cut you free," she continued as she pulled her dagger. But the raven head only shook negatively at her and Ephiny understood that the warrior was trying to protect her as well. Such an act could be considered treasonous, especially by the Gabrielle that now existed.

As the last lash fell, the Amazon reached to cut the ties. "Leave her!"

"But my Queen, that was ten."

"Ah, but there are other offenses which must be atoned for. Besides, I don't seem to have made much of an impression on my slave. Now step away."

Desperately Ephiny whispered, "You've got to cry, Xena!" Eyebrows shooting up were her only reply. "She won't stop till you do, and knowing you, you'll be dead first! You want her to have to live with that? You're not doing her any favors by keeping your pain silent. Listen to what she's saying as she beats you! She's not yelling at you, she's yelling at herself."

The words barely sifted into the warrior's consciousness. "You're weak! You let them all down! Children are dead because of you, you self-righteous bitch!" Xena realized the Regent was right and that the small woman was lost to her own demons.

"Let her hear your pain! Let her hear that you need her!" She could see the indecision in the warrior's face even as she tightened her jaw against the sound straining to escape. "Are you going to let your pride take priority over Gabrielle's soul?!"

The next strike brought a moan from the warrior. Ephiny knew this was not easy for her friend to let anyone see her vulnerable and moved out of sight. Her cries became louder with each stroke and soon the warrior princess was begging for mercy. This was something the Amazon would have bet her life on that she'd never hear. Then she grew quiet for a moment and the Regent worried that the strong woman had had enough and passed out. But with the next strike, a gut wrenching scream came from the depths of the woman's soul. Everyone froze, including the Queen, as the scream filled the air and seemed to last forever. Then a second voice joined in and Ephiny turned in time to see the bard crumple in a heap.

The warrior hadn't heard her friend's voice join her cry. When it was over she sagged against the restraints and it took her a few seconds to realize the whipping had stopped. By this time Anise and Ephiny were both at Gabrielle's side, supporting her, trying to rouse her to her senses. Xena finally took in the sounds behind her and began to call to the Amazons in a voice raw with screaming. "Ephiny? Is she all right?"

"She's coming round. Hang on."

'Hang on? She's got to be kidding." Taking a moment to swallow in an attempt to get her voice under control, she called, "Anise ? cut me down."

The young Amazon warrior pulled herself away to run to the dark woman's side. Meanwhile mumblings were flowing from the red-gold head, "Xena .? Xena ?need ? help ?." Gasping suddenly, the bard sat up grasping the woman before her for support, "Ephiny? Xena - where's Xena? She needs-" Her eyes stopped on the figure still tied some ways over to her side. "Xena!" she yelled as she scrambled to her partner. Reaching her love just as Anise cut the last rope, she helped the warrior to her knees. Her hands held her partner's face as she began, "Sweet Artemis, what happened? Are you all right? Who did this:? Who could take you? How could this happen? Please, are you all right?" Xena could only smile looking at the beautiful face of her Gabrielle while tears of joy journeyed down her face.

"Gods, Gabrielle, take a breath so the poor woman can answer." Ephiny grinned at her as she handed a waterskin to Xena.

The small woman looked from Ephiny to Anise back to Xena. All were beaming. How could they be filled with such joy after such an atrocity? "What's wrong with you people? Why is everyone smiling?"

"We're just so glad to have you back ? Gabrielle," Anise ventured.

"Back?" She looked around confused. "Would someone please tell me what's going on!" All three started to talk at once when Gabrielle stopped them. "No. Wait. Let's look after Xena's back first. Anise, bring me blankets, then start heating some water please. Ephiny could you get Xena's medicine pouch?" She turned back to see the biggest and goofiest smile she'd ever seen on her warrior. "Xena, you're beginning to worry me. Just why are you grinning so when I know your back has to hurt like all Tartarus."

"I'm just so glad to see you. I thought I might never see you again." Slowly she leaned forward and kissed those sweet lips ever so gently. "Gods, I've missed you."

Finally Gabrielle noticed Xena's attire. "You're still dressed like a slave. Something went wrong - oh Gods - the children-"

"We got them back." But the bard could tell there was more. "Tara and Nikki died saving the little ones. I'm sorry. There was nothing anyone could do."

She choked back a sob remembering the two young girls so full of life and promise. "And that's when you were captured?"

"It's more complicated than that. Another warlord took me."

"What?! Who? Where?"

"It doesn't matter. You found me and saved me."

"Well then ? I'm reclaiming you right now," she said as she pulled the dagger free that she'd begun to carry. With precision she picked the lock of the slave collar and threw it away in disgust. "Oh, Xena ? your poor neck."

"Don't worry, it'll be fine in a day." The tall woman responded, secretly watching as her friend slipped the blade back in its holder. 'Her hand just reached for it automatically. She's not even aware she has it.'

At that moment Anise came running up with blankets and helped Gabrielle to move Xena away from the blood soaked ground. "Scenery's a little nicer over here I think."

"Thanks, Anise. What about our 'friend' over there?" The raven head jerked in the direction of Braxus.

"He's taking a nap right now which I was happy to help him with," she smiled mischievously. "He was out before it started."

"I really appreciate that."

"This will stay here between us." And she moved away to take care of the fire.

Gabrielle looked curiously at the exchange, but decided to hold her questions till later. She helped her partner onto the blankets and carefully stripped away the tunic. There was a quick intake of air.

"I've had worse," the dark woman said comfortingly.

"I don't care. When I catch this warlord, I swear I'll make him pay."

"No!" she struggled to sit up. "No ? please, that's not you."

Gabrielle looked into eyes filled with anxiety. "Sorry, Xena. I was just talking. But I do want to bring him to justice, all right?" She watched amazed as Xena shook her head negatively. The slight movement caused the shift to slip off her shoulders. Green eyes shifted down expecting to see the beautiful breasts she'd come to love, and was not prepared to see the bruises and bite marks that adorned them. Realizing the direction of her partner's gaze, the woman quickly covered herself. "Oh Gods, Xena!" Anger flared again in the green eyes. "He will pay for this with Amazon justice!"

The warrior looked at her mate. She feared how closely her Gabrielle was now resembling the warlord she'd been only moments ago. "I wasn't raped, Gabrielle."

"You don't have to protect me-"

"I'm not. Yes, it was started. But I promise you, she stopped."

"She?!!" She noted Xena's eyes got wide before she turned away. Gabrielle didn't know why this should be worse than a man, but it made her blood boil to think of another woman's hands on her warrior. Getting her voice under control, she asked, "Are you telling me the truth?"

"I give you my word of honor she did not rape me."

Gabrielle knew it was the truth. Xena's word meant too much to her to ever lie, but she also observed that her love did not quite meet her eyes now. Softening her voice even more, she assured, "I believe you. But there's more, isn't there?" The dark head lowered. What could scare the warrior princess? What could cause her shame? Gently, but firmly, she grasped the chin and pulled her head up till they were eye to eye. "What could cause the look of a frightened deer in those blue eyes?" Suddenly it hit her and the idea sent a shiver through her. "She aroused you, didn't she?"

Xena pulled back, shocked. Now what should she do? Would it be better to let her one true love think another had caused feelings to rise? Could they both live with the bard doubting her commitment? To let her know she'd been the one to cause all the pain seemed equally cruel. Unable to decide, she closed her eyes.

But the diminutive woman took this action as affirmation. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she whispered to the bowed head before her. "It's all right, Xena. I understand. You can't help how your body reacts." She stroked the raven hair. "I know there are ways to make a person react against their will. As long as I have your heart, it's all right." She paused in her caress for a moment to ask timidly, "I do have your heart still?"

"Always and forever!" The response was so quick and intense, she had no time to think. "You are my heart."

Looking into those eyes, she knew it was the truth. "Then we won't worry about it anymore. Come on, lie back down. I need to tend your back." Slowly the warrior submitted herself to the bard's ministrations. Ephiny, who had been waiting patiently, sensed it was all right to come closer. Silently she handed over the healer's bag to the strawberry blonde who turned her full attention to the woman who lay before her. The familiar gentle touch calmed the warrior and soon she was dozing lightly. She stirred only when Gabrielle was forced to stitch several of the lashes. "I'm sorry, my love," she whispered. "You'll have to sit up now, Xena. I need to bandage your back." The warrior complied without complaint. "Ephiny, do you have a loose tunic Xena can wear? I don't want her putting that filthy rag back on. Besides, there's not much left of it anyway."

"I'll see what I can come up with."

"Here, Xena," Anise spoke, handing her a mug of tea. "Put in some herbs to fight off infection and fever."

The careful woman sniffed at it. "Not going to fall asleep, am I?"

"No, promise, I'm not slipping you a sleeping potion. Though there is a little something in there for the pain, which might make you drowsy." An eyebrow raised in her direction. "Hey, orders from the Queen," she defended herself with a shrug and moved away to give them some privacy.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better."

"Good enough to eat?"

"I'm not really hun-" The warrior found her mouth crammed with cheese, her only option to chew and swallow. "I guess I'm eating," she said when she could.

"Glad we have that settled," the bard said with a satisfied smile.

Just then Anise strolled over. "All right, the litter's ready and Braxus tied in so we can leave whenever you're ready."

"Braxus?!" she asked in surprise. She'd paid little attention to anything around her but Xena.

"That's why we're all here. We tracked him and you brought him down good." The Amazon guard beamed, then caught the dark woman's frown. Gabrielle had risen to look at the prisoner.
"He deserved everything she gave him," she hissed quietly.

"I agree, but Gabrielle wouldn't. We can't let her know what she's done."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" Ephiny asked plopping down beside her as she handed over a clean shift. "She's going to start asking questions and we weren't the only ones that saw her actions."

"It might be best if she hears it from us first," Anise offered.

The warrior looked over at her young companion's face twisted in horror at the condition of the helpless man. She realized they were right. The bard's mind was too keen and insightful to be mollified with easy answers. No, she wouldn't stop till the whole truth was laid out before her. Resigned, she nodded in agreement just as a shaking Queen stood before them.

"I did that?!"

"He deserved every bit of it, my Queen," Anise said defensively.

"Did he put up such a fight I had to do that much damage?" All remained quiet with furtive glances at each other. "Well ?" the bard sighed heavily, "that answers that question. All right, I want to know exactly what's been going on." Again the looks. "Now."

Taking a deep breath, Xena asked, "What do you remember?"

Her brow crinkled in thought. "The last thing I can see clearly is the shack blazing. After that, I have fleeting images."

"Such as?"

She smirked at herself, "Such as riding Argo ? telling you what to do ? sharing a blanket with -" she stopped glancing briefly at Anise, a blush creeping up her neck. "But none of that can be right. I mean - that's not me." The smile faded as she looked at their somber faces. Slowly she sat, uncertain now if she wanted to know. "What happened to me?"

"You got a good knock on the head," Ephiny began, trying to ease the truth.

"But Nashalla believes the shift in your personality was caused by the shock of seeing that shack on fire and thinking you were responsible for the deaths of all the children," Xena finished.

"It was my decision how to handle the situation. I was responsible."

"No one could predict what would have happened."

She looked into the blue eyes, "You could. You knew it was a mistake to even try."

"I could just have easily been wrong."

"Let's not lie about this. I was so determined to do it the peaceful way - my way. How arrogant to ignore your years of experience."

"You were trying to save lives."

She stared sadly at her warrior. 'When this started she argued with me for candlemarks to let her do it her way. Now she tries to come to my rescue and tell me I was right when we both now the truth. Gods, I don't deserve her.' Rubbing her face briskly to gain control, she sat stiffly asking, "Tell me everything. What happened when I woke?"

"You didn't seem to know us. When we tried to explain, you became agitated. Then pain filled your head and you collapsed again. That's when Nashalla said we needed to go along with the reality your mind was creating. She was afraid if we pushed you, your guilt would cause you to retreat into yourself." Seeing this accepted, Ephiny continued, "Since you'd seen Solari and Xena as slaves, they had to stay that way. We got Anise and Eponin out of their disguises quickly after that."

"You agreed to this?" she asked her friend in amazement.

Xena shrugged, "I didn't want to take any chances."

"And so I became some big tough warrior?"

"Gave Xena a run for her dinars," Anise laughed.

Realization dawned on the golden redhead. "I became Xena, didn't I? I knew her way was right so I tried to be her."

There was a moment of silence before the warrior softly said in shame, "You could never be me."

The bard rubbed her arms as if chilled. "But I did things - I ?"

"No," Xena said firmly. "We all vowed we wouldn't allow you to do anything against your personal code.

"Gabrielle," the Regent broke in, "we'd argue about what to do, but all I had to do was remind you what was best for everyone and you'd put your personal desires aside. You were still in there."

"You were tough, but fair," Anise spoke up.

Looking at her Amazon friend, she again blushed remembering pictures in her mind. "I laid with you." Shock and guilt washed over her face as she turned to her love. "Oh, Xena, I'm so sorry." Tears threatened to fall.

Anise spoke up quickly, "Gabrielle, it's all right. All we did was share a blanket. There were no fires that night and we all shared to keep warm. You don't think I'd let anything happen with the warrior princess watching our every move? I like my body in one piece," she teased in an effort to break the tension.

"It's all right, Gabrielle," Xena comforted, taking the bard's hand. "We're" all right."

Ephiny and Anise continued to fill in their Queen on the sequence of events while Xena sat close lending her support. The warrior was grateful to the two Amazons for skipping little details that were unimportant and only they would know of.

The strawberry blonde nodded in understanding. "All right, the images are making sense now. But where did this other warlord come from? What does she have to do with-" The bard froze, her eyes widening as more pictures flashed at her. Slowly she rose and began to back away. "Oh Gods, no ? no ? oh, Xena ? I'm sorry ?I'm so sorry ?I ?" She turned to run, but the warrior was quick and grabbed the young woman, arms wrapped tightly, holding her back against her chest. Sobs wracked the small body as she continued to blurt out apologies and squirm to get away.

"Gabrielle, stop right now. Just stop." The woman stilled for the voice in her ear. "Take a deep breath. That's it. Take another. Good." The warrior felt the body relax slightly. "None of this is your fault." She could feel the bard attempt to interrupt. "No. No talking. Just listen. I'm proud of you, Gabrielle. Yes, you became one Hades of a tough warrior, but you were fair; never cruel. You took care of your people. You saved the village girls. And you brought all the soldiers back for justice. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I whipped you, Xena. I whipped you for preventing me from killing!" she cried, pulling herself free and starting to leave.

"Gabrielle ?. Please, stop." The voice was barely above a whisper, sounding weak and tired. Slowly the warrior slid to the ground. "It wasn't you. And when you think about all the times you've saved me from making that exact mistake, I figure I owe you one at least."

"I can't believe I did that to you."

"Gabrielle, look at me." She would not be denied and took a deep breath to give her voice command. "Gabrielle." Slowly the young woman turned to face her, but still would not look at her. "You weren't striking out at me. You were trying to punish yourself. I understand ? really."

"How can you be so nice about all this? How can you ever forgive me? How can you ever trust me again?"

"Easy. I never stopped trusting you, dear one." Fearfully green eyes peeked out behind golden bangs. "And my faith in you was well founded." She gave the woman her warmest smile as she teased, "Besides, you didn't do any real damage." Gabrielle just looked at the dark woman as if to say 'tell me another.' The warrior chuckled, "Not buying that, I see? Ok, how about this? You pamper me for the next moon and make those little pastries with the red filling I like and we'll call it even."

The bard shook her head in disbelief as she came to kneel in front of her warrior. "Oh, you can believe I'll be pampering you for many moons to come, but we'll never be 'even.'" She leaned sadly into her warrior, wanting to wrap her arms around her and knowing it would only cause more pain. The agony she heard in the bard's voice only tugged at the tall woman's heart. They sat that way for awhile, Xena rocking her love gently, occasionally placing light kisses on the strawberry blonde locks and humming gently.

The two Amazons looked on self-consciously. "I think Xena's got things under control. Let's move our 'friend' over the hill and give them some privacy," Ephiny whispered to Anise. The guard nodded in agreement and quietly slipped away.

Just when Xena was sure the smaller woman had fallen asleep, she broke the silence. "Xena?"

"Hmmm?"

"What if I'd never remembered myself?"

"But you did."

"But what if I hadn't? You were pretending to be a slave. What would you have done?"

"Continued to be by your side."

The bard couldn't quite believe her ears and asked softly, "Even as a slave?"

"Why not?" the blue eyes twinkled. "You already own me."

The young woman looked into those eyes which touched her soul. "And you own me." She leaned up, kissing her love deeply. Pulling back, she again saw a goofy grin plastered on her partner's face. "You're doing it again. I think that grin is scarier than 'the look.'"

"Just thinking about all the ways I'm going to enjoy my lovely little bard when we get home." She began to pull the smaller woman up into her arms, but the movement caused a searing pain across her back. Her body tensed and her jaw clamped shut to keep in the moan.

"First, I think you'll be laying your body back down on that bedroll and not move until I say," she said with authority as she supported the large warrior.

"Yes, my mistress," she smiled at her. But then Xena caught the guilt flash across her lover's eyes. "I'm sorry - I didn't mean to-"

"Don't you dare apologize to me. I know you were only teasing. It's just so hard for me to believe what I did to you," she finished as she helped the woman to sit on the furs.

"Please, just let it go. We're both all right."

"You are anything but all right, Xena, and I have no idea how I'm ever going to make it up to you." She turned away unable to look her in the eye.

"Do you still love me, Gabrielle?"

"What? Why would you ? Yes!"

"Will you stay with me always?"

"If you still want me?" her voice trailed away.

"Would you be my slave if I asked it?"

The small woman's heart pounded. Was she serious? Is this what she wanted as retribution? So be it. "Yes, I would."

"You would do anything I ask?"

The bard wanted her love to know just how serious she was. She scanned the area and her eyes found the discarded collar. Retrieving it, she returned to kneel before the warrior and began to fasten it around her own neck. But strong hands stopped her, gripping the collar firmly and flinging far away. "I want you to look at me."

The small woman slumped more into herself, tears making the trek down her face, "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm afraid."

"You said you would do anything I ask. I want you to look at me now." It was a command and a plea, firm and gentle at the same time. Slowly the head tilted up to look into blue eyes filled with love. "Here is what I want from you. First, I want you to forgive yourself. Second, I want you to hold me tonight and tell me stories. Third, the second my back is healed, I want to make mad passionate love that leaves us both sore for days."

Shyly Gabrielle smiled at her soul-mate, and brushed her lips with a kiss. "My life is to serve you, Mistress."

For the next few days, the two companions stayed in the small glen. Tenderly, patiently, they helped each other to heal.



End




The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive