"I'm taking my friend and we're leaving, got it?"

"You fight well. I might ask you to join."

"I'm taking her home to her brother."

"I can see you're determined."

"Put her on the horse. Now!"

"How long do you think you can keep this up? The moment your head turns, the moment your eyes flicker, I've got you and you know it. You don't even know how to hold a sword."

"I know enough," came the quiet reply as the cold metal pushed forward into warm tissue, releasing hot blood which poured over blade and bard equally. Surprise flashed briefly in the warlord's eyes before all life vanished completely. As the body slid to her feet, Gabrielle turned to face the small army, ready to continue her battle. "Who's next?" Fire burned in her eyes as she stared down the men. A large man stepped forward cautiously and the bard was quick to extend her sword as she growled, "Meet the blade."

Slowly the warrior pulled his weapon and sank it deep in the ground as he kneeled. "You've beaten Talmedeus. This army is now yours." The words barely registered, so full of rage was the young woman. She watched, eyes still ablaze, as each man kneeled offering his sword. The man who'd spoken first rose then, turning to the men bellowing, "All hail our new commander, Blade!"

"Blade! Blade! Blade!" The chanting continued as the men raised their swords upwards. Slowly Gabrielle raised her own in salute and the group quieted.

"I am Donner, your second in command-" He stopped abruptly, seeing the anger filled eyes, " ?if it please you, Lord Blade." The small woman merely nodded at him. "What is your command, my Lord?"

The bard blinked, finally realizing her situation. If she showed any weakness now, Salmoneus and the villagers would most certainly be lost. For their sake, she drew a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to follow. Interestingly she found the rage of Xena's death support her as the warrior's mask slipped into place. She thanked the gods that Donner had misunderstood her earlier remark, thinking she was stating her name. Blade sounded much more fierce than Gabrielle.

"Listen up! First - release the villagers!" She heard grumbles among the men and knew she had to be very careful and very persuasive. She could do this. After all, she was a bard, wasn't she? "I am a warrior of honor! It was pledged they would go free if Salmoneus surrendered himself and brought the body of the Warrior Princess. Talmedeus had no honor, but I do and so will all men who follow me! Release them now!" Her words pierced them to the core and in a matter of moments, she had managed to give them all a new focus.

Quickly they moved to carry out her orders. Timidly the villagers stood around uncertain of what to do. "Go home. You're free." Still they hesitated. "Get out of here unless you like the idea of slavery!" Hermes himself would have been hard pressed to keep up with their retreating backs. "Bring Salmoneus to me."

Roughly the man was dragged forward and made to kneel. The cold mask stayed firmly in place and the frightened man found himself wondering if Xena's death had driven his young friend over the edge.

"I know Talmedeus intended your execution." She heard the eager rumble travel through the men. "However that would be a waste of talent. You promised swords and you will procure them for us or your life will be forfeit. How long will you need?"

"I'm sure I could have them in only a moon-" he squeaked nervously.

"You have a fortnight and you will deliver them to us in Amphipolis.

"That's good, too," he smiled at her cautiously.

"But first, you will prepare the warrior's body for travel. And Salmoneus, if you fail to meet us in Amphipolis," she laid the dripping blade menacingly on his shoulder, "you'll wish I'd killed you today."

Try as he might, the verbose salesman couldn't tell what was going on. Sure, Gabrielle had managed to save the villagers and even found a way for him to keep his head firmly attached to his body, but was this reality or ruse? Gulping, he hurriedly replied, "Yes, Gabr-" A hand struck his face fiercely. By the gods, gentle little Gabrielle had hit him! "Yes, Lord Blade, it shall be done right away." He bowed, offering up further platitudes as he inched himself away and moved to Xena's body.

"Which is my tent?"

"This way, Lord Blade." He led her to Talmedeus's tent.

"This will do. Donner, start packing up. We'll move out at noon."

As Donner left to see to things, the small woman slipped into the tent out of view of prying eyes. She expected, once alone, she'd fall apart, but instead felt nothing. No ? that wasn't quite true. Cold deadly anger was there just below the surface. And hate - yes, hate that slowly crawled over her. She yanked off Xena's armor and leathers and began to clean off the blood. Then she scrubbed her arms and face and hands till her skin screamed for her to stop. Though the leathers were still damp, she dressed uncaring and slid the armor back into place. Once the sword was cleaned, she carefully placed it in the sheath pacing the tent's enclosure.

What did she think she was doing? Trying to take command of a whole army, no matter how small, was crazy. But she was determined to get Xena back to Amphipolis. She had promised. It seemed only right that an army take her home. Bracing herself, the new persona of Blade descended on her and she left the tent to survey the preparations.

"Salmoneus!" she barked.

Turning to the small woman, he saw only a hardened warrior. "Yes, Lord Blade, all is ready. I even placed skins of cold river water around the body to help preserve it on the road. You might want to re-fill them occasionally." The woman nodded in satisfaction. "Well then, I guess I'll just be on my way."

"Salmoneus. A fortnight in Amphipolis or I won't be able to protect you. Understand?"

The older man thought just maybe he saw a glint of his friend behind those cold eyes. "Yes, Lord Blade - and thank you." He made his retreat quickly.

The bard looked out at the men. "Mount up! Let's move!" Gabrielle took her place at the head of the group and tried to ignore the squeaking of the wagon that carried her friend.

After several candle marks of silence, Donner ventured to question his new commander. "If I may ask, why are we taking the Warrior Princess to Amphipolis? I hear her own town cares little for her, so I doubt we'd get much ransom for the body.

In a flash, the sword was at this throat. "We are NOT ransoming her body! She was a fierce warlord who turned her life around to help others. She became a warrior of honor. And she deserves respect. Are we clear on this?"

"Yes, Lord Blade."

"Good." The sword was re-sheathed as she urged Argo forward.

Donner quietly wondered to himself just what sort of new leader they had. And just how long the men would tolerate this new 'code of honor' thing?

Several more candle marks later, the bard called a halt. "Lord Blade, we're short on supplies. Perhaps we should keep moving to the next village so we can get what we need."

She looked him evenly in the eye, a steely gaze holding him frozen. "You mean, take what we want, don't you? All right, everyone, listen up!" She turned to the regiment, her bardly voice catching their attention immediately. "Sure we can go to that little village and take all we want." Several men smiled and started nudging each other. "That will prove what fine warriors we are, won't it? Us in our armor with swords against farmers with rakes and shovels." They all began to fidget. "Is that the kind of warrior you want to be? I don't call that a warrior. I call that a coward! I'd rather rely on myself for food. And when I fight, be up against someone who is my equal. Now that's a warrior! And that kind of warrior can hold his head high with pride." They stared at her in amazement, ashamed and inspired at the same time. "Now - I'm going down to the river to catch my supper. Anyone who's hungry can follow." The young woman turned without a backward glance, walking away. First one, then another began to follow. Over half the men ended up in the water, copying the moves of their leader. Before they knew it, they began to laugh and tease each other's efforts. Big fierce warriors had become little boys remembering their childhood. Those left on the bank looked on in disgust and rummaged through their packs for trail rations.

As they ate, war stories began to float around the circle. Gabrielle, who sat a little part from them, listened to their tales. When all grew quiet, the bard let her own voice fill the air with tales of courage and strength. When she'd finished, all was still. Abruptly, the jade eyes snapped onto them. "Let that take you to Morpheus." And she rose and walked away. Slowly the sentries moved into position while the others slid into their bedrolls.

Gabrielle wandered all around the campsite, finally ending her journey at the wagon. She pulled back the covering to expose her friend's face. Staring at the beautiful face, she felt the anger well within her again. The jaw clenched tight as the hands balled into fists. "Why, gods be damned? Why?!" Throwing the cover back up, the newly forged warrior left to take care of Argo.
*********

'Gabrielle ?? Are you there? ?.. It's cold ??so cold ??"

***********

For a change, Gabrielle was up before dawn and rousing others. Nightmares had made rest elusive and activity welcome. Though she pushed to get off as soon as possible, Gabrielle was learning it took much longer to do everything with so many people. As they made their way down the road, they could see a small band of robbers attacking a merchant's wagon. Without thought, the bard spurred Argo into action. Donner looked on for a second dumbfounded, then realized here was an opportunity for fun and urged the men forward. But the small woman had reached the group first, wielding Xena's sword quite like her staff, knocking one of them out. Her army was close behind before she was aware they were taking out the thieves with fatal results. Once the band was dispatched, the army turned their attention to the wagon.

"Stop!" The icy voice of their commander stopped them in their tracks. The merchant looked from the dead thieves to the army to their leader. He feared things had just gotten worse if that was possible.

"Take whatever you want. Just please spare my family."

The men began to surge forward again, broad smiles on their faces. "Freeze! Now! The first one to touch that wagon will be personally introduced to my blade." Cold eyes locked on each man in turn before settling on the merchant. "Are you all right?" came the tight controlled voice.

"Yes, ma'am ? uh, Lord. Thank you."

"Glad we could help." She realized she'd need to get something from this man to appease the men. They weren't ready to make such a drastic leap to altruistic behavior yet. "What do you carry, Merchant?"

"Uh .. cloth, scrolls, fruit, sweets, wine-" He noticed the raised brow at the mention of wine. "It would be my honor to give you a cask of my finest wine in small repayment for your assistance." Was that relief he saw in the woman's eyes?

"That would be appreciated." Two of her men quickly sprang forward at her words, helping relieve the merchant of the barrel. "Thank you, sir. Men, get the bodies off the road so they may continue on their way." Gabrielle looked at the mutilated bodies, furious at herself for not paying attention. "Take all the bodies into the forest. Take what's worth taking then bury them."

"What?" Donner blinked in surprise.

"Wouldn't you hope that someone would do the same for you, rather than leaving you to the animals? Maybe the Gods will see this act and grant us the same mercy some day."

Several men nodded in understanding and were the first to carry out her orders. Gingerly the merchant approached her. "Lord, may I offer this small token to you personally for your mercy?" He handed over what was obviously a very expensive bracelet.

"Thank you, but it's not necessary."

"Would you like something else?"

"Just take care of your family."

Deciding it was best not to tarry any longer, the man sprang to his wagon, snapping the reins. Once the robbers had been buried, Gabrielle's army continued on their way. They made decent time and were fortunate to find level ground near a cold running river.

"Donner, see to set-up and sentries. You." She pointed to a soldier barely into manhood. "Come with me." Nervously the young man followed. "What's your name?"

"Galen, Lord Blade."

"Galen, I want you to help me change the water skins around the body." Though she felt the incredible tearing of her heart, the bard relied on the anger that was never very far away to help her maintain the walls she needed in place.

After handing several skins to Galen to refill, the small woman allowed herself to look at her friend. Steeling herself, she spoke in clipped hard tones. "It takes longer for an army to cover ground than just two people. So I'm thinking it will take about ten days to reach Amphipolis. I'm still mad at you for not taking care of yourself. But I promised to take you home and I will." The young soldier returned, hesitant to interrupt so he merely cleared his throat. "Good, hand those up to me." Carefully she replaced the bags. She started to touch the raven head, but pulled back walking off briskly with Galen hurrying after.

********

"Going home? ?.. Gabrielle ?.? No ? please ? where are you? Please, Gabrielle ? I need you ?"

*********

The following day passed without incident. And again at the end of the day, the bard weaved her magic attempting to instill a higher purpose in the men. Once the stories were over, she'd retire to her tent where she'd attempt to find Morpheus with little success.

As the army reached the crest of a hill the next day, they looked down into a valley being over run by mercenaries. The bard's eyes blazed in anticipation, eager to release the hate burning deep within her. "Listen up! We're going down there and rid that village of those scum! But, by the Gods, if one villager is harmed by a sword that follows me, it will be the last thing you do! Do we understand each other?" Heads nodded, eager for battle. "Attack!"

They raced down the hill screaming war cries. Though the fighting was intense, it was also very short. Those that were not killed, scrambled frantically to make their escape through the woods. The villagers fearfully huddled together waiting to see what this new army would demand. An elder stepped forward to address the woman warrior who seemed to be the leader. "Take what you want, but please spare our lives and our homes."

"Relax, good father. We want nothing from you." The elder looked skeptically at her as his gaze traveled over the men. "However, a hearty meal would be appreciated."

He wasn't sure of her sincerity, the voice was devoid of emotion, but thought it best to cooperate. "Of course! Anything for our saviors." He turned to the villagers. "People of Talus, let us prepare a feast for these good men and spare nothing!" The villagers hurriedly scurried about to prepare the banquet. Gabrielle smiled to herself having noticed her men straighten up as they were heralded as 'good men.' "Just maybe a few more encounters like this will convince them there's a better way to live."

In under a candle mark, they all were sitting down to the most extravagant repast this army had seen in a long time. Villagers sat among them, thanking them and talking excitedly. The little ones viewed them as heroes and wanted stories of past deeds. Though it did Gabrielle's heart good to see this turn of events, there was still too much grief inside to really enjoy it and she ate little.

Most of the army were in good spirits enjoying all the attention. But some noticed the wealth of this village as they looked at the spread before them. They were determined that some of this would find its way into their own saddlebags.

The festivities lasted for several candle marks. Gabrielle, who usually loved such things, became restless, feeling claustrophobic with so many people around. It wasn't just the people. It was the laughter and fun. Her best friend was dead and these people were enjoying themselves. She knew it was irrational to be upset with them, but she couldn't seem to help it. Unable to stand it any longer, she addressed the assembly. "People of Talus, thank you for your hospitality but we need to be under way now." The men stood grabbing a loaf here and a chicken leg there and began to make their exit. "Jarren! Stark! Come here."

All froze, hearing the danger in the silky voice. Eyes followed the pair as they made their way forward. They stood defiantly before the commander.

"Give it back."

"What? Lord Blade, I don't know-"

"Silence! I'm in no mood to listen to lies. Now empty your saddlebags." The men glanced at each other, and decided to take a stand. With arrogance they dumped out goblets and jewelry they'd pilfered. "You stole from our hosts."

"We took a reward," Stark sneered.

"You took booty! I'll not tolerate this. Ten lashes each." The men gaped at her. Since when was stealing punishable? Isn't that what they were all about? Gabrielle saw the confusion in all their eyes. "My command was to take nothing from this village! You disobeyed, you receive ten lashes. Donner, carry out the punishment."

"Yes, Lord Blade." Accompanied by several other soldiers, he dragged the two men over to trees and secured them there. A small voice in the bard was appalled at the order and tried to reason with her. 'Weakness is not respected. They have to learn!' she quieted the nagging voice within. Her face was stone as she watched the whip fall. After it was over, both men were dragged back and thrown before their leader. "If you follow me, you will obey every command. Now you have a decision to make. You may walk away now with your armor and horses. But if you stay and then disobey again, you will pay with your lives. Are we clear? Good. Choose."

It was obvious Jarren wanted to leave, but Stark rose, holding his head high. "I'll stay." His companion was startled by this announcement. The small woman tried to read the underlying reason for this decision. She didn't believe for a moment that Stark had suddenly seen the errors of his way. She'd be sure to keep an eye on him.

"Jarren?"

"Yes, Lord Blade ? uh, yes ? I want to stay."

'Great. Stark has a mindless sidekick.' "Galen!" she called to the young soldier she'd designated as the army's healer. "Tend their backs and then we'll move on."

***********

That night Gabrielle listened as the men sat around the fire telling of their battle and the good food and the pretty girls who hung on them. She left them to bask in this new feeling of respect. Taking her staff, she slipped away to run drills. If she could exhaust herself maybe she could keep her thoughts at bay, maybe she'd be too tired to dream. As she went through her moves, her mind kept turning to the fact that Xena had taught her this move after the war in Troy and that move when Ares had impersonated Xena's father. "Just in case you have to take me down again." She had said to Gabrielle in way of apology for her behavior then. Damn it! Couldn't she forget even for a little while? And what was she becoming? She'd killed a man and had yet to think about it. She'd had two men whipped. She hadn't even tried to protect the mercenaries, letting her army slaughter them. Is this how Xena had started? She knew she'd also done some good things with the men. Tartarus, she'd saved an entire village. Not bad for a little farm girl. But it hadn't made her feel any better. Who was she? She didn't feel like Gabrielle. Maybe she really was Blade now.

She could no longer lift her staff, so the troubled woman headed back to camp. Her glance fell on the wagon. Unexpectedly the anger raced through her again. Storming over, she leapt up, yanking the cover away from the body. "You left me alone!" Her hand came down hard on the beautiful face before her. "You've left me over and over again! Do I mean anything to you?!" Slap. "You just keep throwing yourself into one dangerous situation after another!" Slap. "I thought I mattered!" Slap. "Why didn't I matter?!" Slap. "Why wasn't I enough?!"

As the bard unleashed her fury on the body beneath her, a mind buried deep began to swim desperately to the surface. "Gabrielle? You're here? Help me ? help me ?" She could sense something being slapped. She thought she could hear her name being called. She struggled to re-surface, she struggled toward the essence that called to her. And then her body took the smallest breath, barely noticeable. But it was enough for the bard. She froze in terror. Had that really happened? Or had she imagined it? Or had she caused it somehow with her beating? Firmly she grabbed the face, screaming at it, "Xena!" 'By the Gods, if she was still in there!' She shook the shoulders, then slapped the face again. "Wake up, Xena!" It was such a little breath she'd heard. Air! Certainly she needed air! The bard placed her mouth firmly over her friends exhaling as hard as she could. After coming up for air herself, she repeated the process. "Damn it! Where are you?! Come back to me!" Without thinking, she slapped the face one last time hard and suddenly the body shivered on its own drawing a ragged breath.

'Oh Gods! She's alive! She's alive!" Briefly turning to the men, she yelled, "Donner! Galen! Get over here now!!" The two men came running fast, fearing for their lives if they failed to please. "Quick, help me get her out!"

Perplexed, they looked up. "Lord Blade?"

"Hurry, she's alive!"

Not certain whether or not their commander had lost her mind, they thought it best to comply. Throwing the water skins aside, they reached in to pull the body free. Gabrielle gently cradled the head with her hands, determined to prevent any further injuries. After carrying her friend into her tent, they laid her on the soft furs and the bard rapidly wrapped them around her. "Donner, go heat several rocks, wrap them in blankets and bring them back to me. Galen, here take this," she said handing over a small pouch, "make a tea for me with it."

He was gone in a flash sensing the urgency in his lord. Alone, Gabrielle turned her attention to the pale prone figure. "Come on, Xena, I know you're in there!" Gently she slapped her cheeks in an effort to rouse her. "Come on, open your eyes. You can do it." The slapping became more intense without her realizing it. "Xena! Xena!" She yelled over and over.

Somewhere deep in the dark woman, a flicker of recognition occurred. Struggling, she tried to call to the voice, though it barely came out as a moan. But it was enough for the bard. "Yes! I knew it! I knew it!"

At that moment, Donner entered with the heated rocks. "Place one at her feet and the rest on either side of her." Just as Donner got things situated, Galen entered. "Good. Here, help me sit her up a bit." The men lifted the tall woman as Gabrielle slipped in back of her to support her. "Give me the mug, Galen," Slowly she let a few drops trickle into Xena's mouth. Noticing the swallowing reflex kick in, the bard tried a little more. Relief flooded her body as more of the precious liquid was swallowed. "Good job. Now open your eyes. Come on - open them!" she said with command. All in the tent were motionless until eyelids slowly fluttered half way open. They focused lightly on the small woman, before sliding closed again. "All right, that's enough for now. Help me lay her back down. Gently. Good. Thank you both. You can go now." Donner and Galen exited with backward glances and unanswered questions.

Gabrielle continued to gaze on the face of her beloved friend. She stroked the raven locks, gingerly she placed her other hand upon the warrior princess's chest, smiling as she felt the rise and fall of each breath.

**********

Before Apollo could begin his journey, the bard was up to find her second in command. "Donner." He stopped his attentions to the fire to inspect the dark circles under the woman's eyes. "We'll be staying here for the day. Send a couple of men out to track game. And I want you to go to the next village and get this list of herbs." She turned to leave as another thought caught her. "Here - get something special the men might like," she finished handing over extra dinars.

Returning to the tent, she checked on the unconscious woman, placing her hand gently on the chest. Unwilling to believe her eyes, Gabrielle needed the tactile assurance of the rise nd fall as well as the warmth that was returning to the body. Each candle mark she had faithfully tilted up the head coaxing the warm brew past passive lips. She struggled to do so again and this time was rewarded by fluttering lids. "It's about time." They opened wider and this time latched onto her friend giving the faintest of smiles. Gently she stroked the raven head staring intently. "It's a miracle, Xena. I don't know which god to thank, but I'll be happy to honor them all."

Weakly came the whisper, "No ? no god."

"Right - I know you don't like to give them credit for anything good, but give whichever one it was their due."

"Not ? dead."

The words stopped all her movements. Apprehension filled her as she whispered, "What?"

"Not dead ? trance to ? counter poison."

"What?" Gabrielle couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Had to go deep ? took longer than ? I thought."

"You were never dead?"

"No ? sorry ?"

"Sorry?" She paused to try to latch on to even one of the thoughts racing through her mind. "Sorry ?." Her mind screamed at her and the floodgates were released. "Sorry you scared the Tartarus out of me?! Or sorry you never let me in on your plans?! Or maybe you're sorry you're not dead! Damn it, Xena! Do you have any idea what I've been through the past few days?!"

"Sorry."

"Sorry. Well, that certainly makes everything ok." She paced the tent trying desperately not to lash out. Rage filled her at this deception.

"Gabrielle ? please ? I-"

"No. Not right now. We'll talk when you've fully recovered." She stormed out of the tent avoiding Xena's eyes. Damnation, she had to hit something. She had to put this energy somewhere. "I want sparing partners - now!" Timidly several soldiers came forward reaching for their swords. "No. We'll use staves. Less chance of me cutting anyone's head off." The men drifted into a circle as the first volunteer stepped forward.

The poor man went down in three moves. The next victim approached more cautiously and managed to last through ten moves. "Next!" She commanded, the anger not appeased. Stark stepped forward with an evil gleam in his eye. But the bard returned the look with obvious pleasure. This was not a sparing match for either. This would be a fight to the death. Stark was a large man which only worked to the bard's advantage having more agility and speed. But when he did connect, the blows were forceful. The struggle went on almost a candle mark, both beginning to weary.

Then Stark made the mistake of taunting their leader in an effort to rattle her. "Something seems to have upset our honorable Lord." Parry - parry - whack. "Perhaps the revived warrior princess has interfered with your own plans for conquest. Better use more poison on the dart next time."

The rage gripped her anew. In one fast move she'd gotten past his defenses and rammed the staff hard in his midsection. Stark fell to his knees and the bard promptly clipped him on his chin sending him to his back. Holding the staff firmly against his throat, she spoke through gritted teeth. "What do you know about the dart?! No one knew - except the one responsible!" She pressed harder and his eyes bulged as he gasped for air. "Speak!"

"I ? I was one ? of the soldiers that retrieved ? the body ? I found the dart ? smelled it ? figured it out ? but that's all! I swear!"

Eyes still ablaze, the muscles in her hands twitched wanting desperately to push the staff till she heard the snap of his windpipe. After what seemed like a small eternity, she pulled back and walked away.

She walked for almost a candle mark at a fierce pace. Finally she was able to calm herself enough to return. It was almost noon before she entered the camp. Men looked warily as she walked by. Standing outside her tent, she took a deep breath, then strode inside.

Xena lay where she'd left her, apparently sleeping. She stared at the woman unable to move, emotions warring within her. Blue eyes slowly met green. Xena squirmed slightly, uncomfortable with the look on her friend's face. "Still mad." There was no question in her voice.

"Think you can eat?" came the firm voice devoid of emotion.

"I'll try." Before she could say another word, the bard left, presumably to get food. "You've certainly screwed things up this time, warrior." She lay waiting, wondering how she was going to fix things with her bard when the smaller woman returned. She attempted to sit up but found it harder than she thought.

"Stop that. I'll help you." Xena heard the voice she loved devoid of emotion. Coming to the warrior's side, the small woman raised her enough to slide furs under her back to support her.

"Thank you."

"Here," she said placing the bowl of soup in her hands.

Shakily Xena tried to feed herself. Usually her friend would have been there in a flash to help, but this woman didn't even look at her. "Could you tell me what's going on?"

"You're eating."

"I mean - why are we in Talmedeus's tent? Why are you still wearing my armor? Are the villagers safe? Are we prisoners? What?"

Gods, the young woman hadn't even thought of the occurrences of the past few days. And she really didn't feel like looking at it now. "Don't worry. I've got it under control."

"Please ?"

"Later. When you're better." She left before Xena could question her further. The bard walked the camp presumably to inspect the men, but really to keep her mind of her situation. The pounding of hooves got her attention and she turned to face her first lieutenant.

"Lord Blade, I'm sorry I was unable to fulfill your orders," he said springing from his horse. "As I approached the village I found it under siege."

"How big is the army?"

"What? ? Well ? I can't be sure. Many were hidden, using crossbows on anyone trying to enter or leave through the village gates."

"Take a guess, man. How big?"

"Certainly as big as our own ? maybe a little more."

"Get the captains together and meet at the camp fire. We're going to take them out and free that village.

A wicked grin crossed Donner's face. 'Finally, a little action! "With pleasure, Lord Blade!"

For the next candle mark Gabrielle laid out a formidable strategy relying on all she'd learned from Xena. The men listened eagerly, impressed with their new leader. "All right, you all have your instructions. Make sure each of your squads know what to do. You have one candle mark to be mounted, ready to move out." Gabrielle looked around for someone to leave behind to take care of Xena. She wanted Galen with her in case his medical skills were needed so she had to find someone else. Finally her eyes rested on a soldier that was young but large enough to handle the warrior princess in case she decided to give any trouble. "You! Falltar, right?"

"Yes, Lord Blade," he grinned pleased to have been noticed.

"Ok - I want you to guard the warrior princess while we're gone."

"I'm not going with you, Lord Blade?" The disappointed pout on such a burly man was almost laughable.

"Falltar, not just anyone can handle Xena. I'm sure you know her reputation. I want to make sure she stays put, understand?"

"Yes, Lord Blade, I won't let you down."

"I'm sure you won't." She really didn't think Xena would give the soldier any trouble in her weakened state, but she didn't want to take any chances. She turned to see her army preparing to leave and went to get Argo.

***************

Xena heard the army depart. She wondered what was happening. Had they been left behind? Were they free? Shakily she sat up and tried to get her legs under her. In her attempt, she knocked over a box with her mug and bowl on it.

Falltar heard the noise and went inside to investigate. "What're you doing?"

"Leaving."

"I don't think so," he said crossing his arms across his massive chest.

Xena knew there was no way she'd get past this behemoth in her present condition. "Where's Gabrielle?"

"I don't know any Gabrielle."

Why was this man lying? Something was wrong. She had to find her bard. Summoning all her strength, she rose to her full height and tried her best to give him 'the look.' "I want my bard and I want her now." Determinedly she stepped forward.

"I don't care what you want. Lord Blade said you were to stay right here and I intend to make sure you do."

"Thank your Lord for his hospitality, but I've got more pressing engagements." She took a step forward, but was promptly met with a fast left to her eye. Xena fell to all fours and attempted to clear her head. Unexpectedly she reached out to pinch the soldier, immobilizing his legs. But her reflexes had been greatly reduced and Falltar easily blocked her hands and threw her to the floor. Another punch rendered her unconscious. "So much for the great warrior princess," he sneered reaching for some rope.

************

As the men took their positions, Gabrielle overlooked the layout and was confident all would go well. She motioned for Donner to fire the crossbow as a signal for all to attack at once. Small lighted jars of oil went sailing from a variety of locations, hitting tents and wagons. Blazes were everywhere and the men below darted about in confusion. Then a volley of arrows fell, taking out at least a third of the company. The call was then sounded for a direct attack. The bard and her men swooped down on them from two different directions efficiently squeezing them tight. The fighting was fierce but short since they had the element of surprise on their side. Those that didn't flee for the woods met Hades that day. As the noises of the battle died out, the men gathered around their leader and began to shout, "Lord Blade! Lord Blade! Lord Blade!"

Sitting atop Argo, the small woman looked out at the chanting men and felt fierce satisfaction flood her. She raised her staff to quiet them. "You fought well. But we still have to find the cowards in the trees keeping the village hostage. Though there will be fewer men, it will be more dangerous so let's be careful"

Several men dismounted and spread out, moving as quietly as possible. To Gabrielle's ears, it sounded like centaurs chasing gorgons. When she'd given them enough time to get into place, she sent out a group of men to draw the bowmen's fire. As if on cue, arrows sailed for the small band. This action allowed her own men to locate the enemy. Daggers and arrows of their own were let loose taking out several of the bowmen. The men who had acted as decoys, threw back their cloaks revealing shields strapped to their backs, yanked them off, and turned to confront the sentries on the ground. Gabrielle was in the thick of it all, shouting orders and taking down her own fair share.

This battle had been hard as Galen's skills were required by several. The bard was surprised when the young man was by her side. "Lord Blade, your shoulder and head need tending."

She had been totally unaware of any injury, her adrenaline had been pumping so hard. She glanced at the shoulder and felt her forehead. "Just scratches. Take care of the men first."

"But Lord Blad-"

"Do it," and she turned from him to address the gates. "Hello inside! The siege is over! Your enemy has been conquered." She watched as several heads cautiously appeared over the battlements. "You're safe now." She waited for some sort of cheer to spread through the town, but all remained still. For some reason the silence angered her. "I'm Lord Blade and my army has just saved your little village. Have you nothing to say?"

A man bravely exited a small door in the gates. "How do we know this isn't just another trick of our enemy"

Gabrielle walked forward alone with her sword sheathed and staff hooked to Argo. "Have you seen a woman leading the army before?" Her voice was like steel and her eyes drilled into the man. 'How dare he question us after we risked our lives!'

"No ? Lord Blade," he replied bowing his head in respect.

"I have a list of herbs I need. Now open your gates so you can properly welcome your saviors." She dared him to refuse.

"Certainly. Open the gates!" Nothing happened. "Open the gates for our heroes, Lord Blade and her army!" Finally the massive wooden structure began to creek and swing wide.

Gabriele turned to her troops. "Mount up." She held herself proudly and her men unconsciously followed suit. Easily they moved into the town square and dismounted. Slowly there were whispers of thanks and appreciation. Satisfied the small leader turned to the apparent village elder. "I need to see your healer. I need supplies." The man nodded gesturing for her to follow. He led her to a small house with a large building right next to it.

"Lord Blade, this is our healer Thaddeus. Thaddeus, this is the woman who commands the army that just freed our town. My Lord needs supplies. Please give her anything she asks for." There was an unspoken message between the two men; give her what she wants and maybe she'll leave us in peace.

Gabrielle looked intently at the healer who showed her his dwindling supplies. There was not everything here she needed and not nearly as much as she wanted, but it would just have to do. "I need the following items," she stated firmly handing over the parchment to him. The old man glanced nervously between the list and his meager inventory. "Don't worry. I'll pay you well."

"My Lord, for saving our humble town, I would gladly give all I have, but ?"

"What's the problem, healer?" Her eyes blazed coldly.

"Please, if you could just follow me, my Lord, I can explain." He slipped out a side door and into the lager building acting as a hospice. It was overflowing with men, women and children, all victims of the terrible siege. "Because of you, these people now have a chance. But I need the few medicinal supplies I have, my Lord."

Gabrielle looked at the teaming beds of the injured and sick. 'No, I need those herbs for Xena! This town owes me! By Tartarus, if I hadn't come along, they'd all be dead.' She turned to the healer and realized he was on his knees to her. His eyes were filled with fear, not for his life, but for the lives in his hands. A small voice inside her struggled to be heard. Finally she spoke. "I'll take what I need for tonight. Make a list of supplies you need that you can't get from here. I'll send Galen on our fastest horse to get what we both need."

"Thank you, my Lord, thank you!" But he found he was speaking to a retreating back.

Quickly Gabrielle grabbed the two herbs she felt essential for this evening and went to make arrangements for some sort of reward for her men and an escort for Galen. The bard allowed them to take little from the town, but left them free to ransack the camp and bodies of the marauders. She was anxious to return and pushed them forward.

As their camp came into view, she was relieved to see Falltar still on guard outside her tent. What was she worried about? Xena had probably slept the entire time. "Greetings, Lord Blade. Are you all right?"

Gabrielle had forgotten about her various cuts and scrapes and shrugged them off as inconsequential. "I trust all went well here?"

"Yes, m'Lord! She tried to leave, but I made sure she stayed put just like you wanted, Lord Blade."

"Good man, Falltar." She turned to whisper in the horse's ear. "Just give me a moment to see to Xena and I'll be right back to take care of you, all right?" The large head bobbed in approval. Anxiously the bard strode into the tent and was struck with a sight that made her freeze in her tracks.

The dark woman lay on her side, her arms pulled painfully back and tied to her feet. Another rope snaked tightly around her neck leading back to the rest. One side of her face was a massive bruise and dried blood caked her mouth and nose.

Rage finally moved her feet as she reached the woman that meant the world to her. Swiftly she sliced through the roped releasing the strained position. A groan escaped the parched lips and lids slowly fluttered open. Blue eyes groggily focused on her bard, taking in the bandaged head and shoulder. Tears formed as she tried to lift her hand to touch the face that hovered over her. "Didn't protect you ? sorry ? forgive me ?"

That was more than the bard could handle. She screamed her anger and raced from the tent, "Falltar!"

The soldier turned in alarm seeing the fury in his lord's eyes. The staff came down hard on his head dropping him to his knees. "You beat her! How dare you touch her!"

"I'm sorry ?please ? she tried to leave .. I'm sorry!"

Both kept a continuous stream of words going simultaneously. The staff kept slamming into the helpless body as she screamed, "Never touch her again!" The warrior-bard put the staff to the frightened man's throat ready to push. The men, who had gathered round, stood quietly in awe of the ferocity of their commander.

Suddenly a weak voice broke the stillness. "No - please - don't."

All heads snapped toward the woman who clung to the tent in order to remain standing. The men quickly looked to their leader and were sure that the prisoner would now be meeting her end. But to their amazement, Lord Blade stepped back. "Get back in the tent."

"Please, Gab-"

"Get inside now!" she barked, swinging her staff in Xena's direction. Blue eyes widened in amazement, but didn't hesitate to do as she was told. "And you," she said redirecting her wrath back at the hapless man, "stay out of my sight if you know what's good for you." She turned leaving behind a bewildered, but relieved, Falltar.

Storming into the tent, she grabbed up the discarded medical pouch and moved to the woman sitting on the bedroll. Avoiding the questioning blue eyes, Gabrielle turned her attention to untying the rope still dangling from wrists and ankles. Tentatively Xena broke the tension, "What's going on?"

"I'm removing the ropes and tending the wounds you shouldn't have." The green eyes stayed glued on the raw abused flesh, liberally applying salve and wrapping clean bandages around the wounds. Finally the bard began working on the knots at her friend's neck. Rage still coursed through her body, but she tried to calm her hands and gentle her touch as she tended the neck. "Now lay down. I'm going to mix up an herb I got for you."

"First I want to know what's happening. We need to talk, Gabrie-"

She found her jaw firmly gripped between vice like fingers. "Don't. Don't ever use that name in camp." Xena was completely astounded by the fear and anger that mixed in those eyes. "You must address me as Lord Blade in front of the men."

"I understand."

"I'll mix the herb for you," she said as she pushed Xena back against the bedrolls and the dark woman clenched her teeth to keep the groan from escaping as she fell back. But the bard was use to listening to the quiet intakes of breath. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Damn it, Xena, I don't have time for the stoic warrior routine," she stated flatly as she reached for the shift to pull it up and see what other damage that idiot might have inflicted. Xena tried to push her away, but Gabrielle simply slapped her hands and took a firm hold. The abdomen was awash of colors: blue, purple, green, yellow. "I'll kill him." The voice was quiet and even and caused Xena to fear that her friend actually meant it.

Turning the bard's face to her, she pleaded, "Please, let it go. I don't know what's happened, but I know it's something terrible and I'm frightened for you. I certainly don't want things to get any worse than they are."

The strawberry blonde turned away reaching for the herbs and pot as she muttered to herself, "I'm not sure that's possible." What would Xena think of her when she found out she had killed a man? By the gods, she still didn't know what she herself thought.

The raven haired woman watched her guarded friend make a medicinal tea for her. She gave her those few moments of solitude until the brew was ready. As she sipped the noxious mixture she broke the silence, "I think you've managed to beat my record of foulest tasting medicine."

"Just drink it all."

Xena downed it all in one gulp, then immediately wished she hadn't. "May I have some water please?" Silently passing her a cup, the bard returned to her spot slightly turned from her friend. Xena needed information. Perhaps if she asked simple yes or no questions she might have more chance of making headway. "You seem to be in charge of things here." The strawberry blonde head nodded in the affirmative. "Did you sweet talk your way in, getting Talmedeus to put you in charge?"

"No."

There was such a deadness to her friend's voice. She noticed the tightening of the woman's jaw and the glazing of her eyes. "Whatever happened must have been horrific. I better not try to go there for now.' So what happened to the villagers?"

"They're safe."

"Salmoneus?"

"Safe - for now."

"You did well then." The bard merely shrugged. "Do you know where we're headed?"

"Amphipolis."

"Amphi- Why would you-"

"I was taking your body back there. I promised you, remember?" She turned to glare briefly at Xena before turning to clean things up.

"Thank you. I don't deserve such a good friend."

"Are we?"

"What?"

"Friends."

"Of course. I-"

"Never mind."

"Please, before you put the healer's kit away, let me look at your injuries."

"I'm fine."

"Gabr- Sorry ? please, let me do something." Gritting her teeth, she pushed herself up and reached for the bandage around the bard's head. "By the Gods, what did you do? Just throw a wrap around your head to stop the bleeding and forget about it?"

"Basically."

"Well, it needs to be cleaned properly before I can even tell how serious it is." As gently as possible she cleansed the wound of the dried blood. It bled a little more, but stopped again almost immediately. "A couple of stitches wouldn't hurt. A little lower and you could have lost an eye. May I ask what happened?"

"We freed a town."

"You freed a town? You actually got this band of selfish mercenaries to do something for someone else?

"I've gotten them to do quite a few good things." Green eyes bored into her.

"I didn't mean anything-"

"Yes you did." She turned away, her own version of the 'warrior mask' in place.

After an uncomfortable silence, Xena finally ventured softly, "Let me look at your arm." She worked quietly, cleaning away blood and dirt and sprinkling in a healing powder. Carefully she sewed the long slice with small stitches hoping to lesson the chance of a scar. Throughout the whole process, the bard never showed any pain. "I'm so sorry you had to go through any of this alone."

The innocent girl of Potedia looked at the woman next to her. "So am I." Then she left the tent.

Argo nickered at the bard as she emerged. "Sorry to keep you waiting, girl. I promise to make this good." For over a candle mark she worked on the horse until Argo began to fidget under the attention. "All right, a little too much, huh? Go enjoy yourself," she finished, giving the horse a pat on the rump. Looking around the camp, she could see that the men were just finishing up eating. Strolling over, she got something for herself and Xena. She really didn't want to face the woman, but she couldn't trust any of the men to care for her.

Entering the command tent, she observed her friend curled on her side asleep. For a brief moment it all disappeared, all the horror, the blood, and the rage. Quietly she approached, unwilling to disturb the woman's rest.

"It's all right. I'm awake."

"Should have known. Here. Eat."

Xena noted the flatness in Gabrielle's voice was back. "I was hoping we might talk."

"The stoic warrior princess wants to talk?"

"The babbling bard doesn't?"

They stared at each other a moment. And then the bard turned away. "I just don't see the point."

"Because this whole situation is messed up. And I can see you're hurting."

"I'm fine."

"I'm not talking about your physical wounds. You're in command of this army. That means Talmedeus must be dead. And that must mean you were the one that killed him. Or at least the men think you killed him. I can't really believe you did. I'm sure it was an accident. But I know it must still be bothering you very much and you're the one who's always saying you have to talk about these things. You can't keep them bottled up. So tell me how it happened."

Taking a deep breath, the bard began in a voice that lacked any trace of warmth. "I battled my way through about 20 soldiers, knocked a sword high into the air, vaulted over the next 20 with my staff, landed in front of Talmedeus, caught the sword and held it to his neck. He offered me a place in his army, I declined. I told him to release your body, he declined. He said I didn't know how to hold a sword. I showed him I knew enough. I shoved the sword into his throat. He was quite surprised. You know, people always underestimate me. I really hate that."

Xena sat, shocked by what she heard. "You tripped."

"No."

"The sword was heavy and-"

"No."

"Someone pushed Talmedeus from behind."

"No. No! NO! I killed him, Xena. Killed him. Do you hear me?!"

"You ? you saved my life. ?. You had no choice."

"Stop it, Xena! Stop trying to make excuses for me. I didn't even know you were alive. I killed a man over what I thought was a dead body. There was nothing noble to it. I killed because I was angry. Angry at what he was doing to the villagers, angry with whoever had killed you, angry at the gods for ignoring my prayers, angry at you for dying!" The green eyes blazed, pain and rage battled for dominance. Xena could look at her friend's torment only so long before she closed her eyes and bowed her head in defeat, unable to lift the burden off those shoulders. All of this was her fault. Gabrielle had lost her blood innocence, and she was right, it had not been a noble act. Only the warrior herself could corrupt such purity and goodness. What could she possibly do to fix this? "I know nothing I say will make this better-"

"You've got that right."

"But I swear I will do anything within my power to try ? anything you ask."

"How about letting me in on your plans from the beginning?" The older woman sagged more resting her head on her knees. "For now, eat." But Xena didn't move. "You just finished promising me you'd do anything I asked. Right now I'm telling you to eat. Was that too big a request?" The words slapped at her heart. Slowly Xena unwound herself and reached for the food, mechanically chewing and swallowing without tasting. Satisfied, the bard reached for her own rations and began the same process with as much enthusiasm. Once finished, Gabrielle again mixed the herbs she felt would help Xena recover her strength. "Drink."

"Thank you." She took the cup gently touching her friend's hand, but it was quickly withdrawn.

"You better get some sleep. We'll be leaving early in the morning. I have to check on the men." And she was gone before the warrior could reply.

**********

When Xena woke early the next morning she expected to find Gabrielle still sleeping, but she was alone. She knew the bard had come in late last night and had feigned sleep to give the bard her privacy. She certainly didn't expect the young woman to be awake, let alone up and about. She could hear the first stirrings of the camp as men and animals began their morning routines.

Half a candle mark later, Galen entered caring food. "Lord Blade says to eat quickly so we may move you to the wagon. This is the last tent to be packed." Xena merely nodded as she began to eat. "The wagon is right outside. Do you think you can walk? Or should I get help to carry you?"

"I can walk. I can also sit a horse. Would you ask Lord Blade for my leathers so I can dress?"

"Oh, sorry, forgot. She left this for you." He held out a short tunic for her. The warrior frowned, but figured Gabrielle wanted her thus to make it easier to care for her. "As for riding, Lord Blade was very firm on that. You're to use the wagon. And I am not about to go against her."

"Tell your Lord I want to see her."

"Warrior, I would like to live to see the next moon. Please, just do as she bids. She can be very fierce. You have no idea."

"Fine," she mumbled and slipped on the tunic, then rose to her feet unsteadily. Bracing herself she began to walk to the wagon. The young man came to her side for support. "I can manage."

"Please," he wet his lips nervously, "if you fall ? "

"You'll pay for it." He nodded. "Then thank you for your arm ? what's your name?"

"Galen."

"Thank you, Galen."

They made their way outside and she allowed Galen to help her up. The box had been removed and the floorboards covered in skins. As he was adjusting blankets around the warrior, Gabrielle rode up abreast on Argo. "Are you all settled, warrior?"

"Yes, thank you, Lord Blade. Beautiful horse you have." She reached out to touch her friend. Argo buried her muzzle in the offered hand.

"Excuse me. I need to get us moving." Gabrielle turned and headed to the front of the line. "Move out."

The small army began its labored journey. Apparently the Gods had decided they'd had enough excitement lately and the day passed without event. Taking only a short break for trail rations and to rest the horses, the company was able to travel a respectable distance for a change.

Xena kept hoping the bard would drop back to be with her, but she saw nothing of the young woman. Galen was obviously what passed for the army's healer as he spent much of his time checking on her. With little to do, she dozed often knowing it was the best way she could help herself.

Gabrielle kept them traveling as long as possible before stopping for the night. The men went about setting camp under her watchful eyes. Meanwhile, Galen helped Xena back into the reconstructed tent. He brought food, then began redressing her bandages. Once accomplished, he turned his attention to mixing herbs. "Not quite as bad as your Lord's."

"I put a little honey in. It smelled so bad I felt sorry for you." Galen became the recipient of one of the warrior's rare smiles. "Oh - and there's a little spider veil to help you sleep." The eyebrows raised at him, the smile gone. "It was Lord Blade's order," he offered in defense.

"I see." The raven head laid back on the bedding. "Gabrielle obviously doesn't want to have to deal with me."

The sensitive young man noted the abrupt change in the woman. "Is there anything I can do for you before I leave?" He received only a small nod of no, so he slipped out to leave her in peace.
**********

The next two days were more of the same. On the third night Xena refused to drink the offered cup. "Please, Xena, Lord Blade will be very angry with me if you don't."

"I'm sorry, Galen, but I need to speak with your Lord. You can either watch me pour it out or go fetch Lord Blade. I promise her wrath will fall on me, not you."

The brooding woman expected to see her little spitfire storming into the tent in moments. That's what she would have done if her orders had been ignored. But it was late in the evening when Gabrielle finally arrived. She entered the tent quietly without looking at Xena and immediately began to ready herself for bed.

The silence dragged on till the warrior could stand it no longer. "Don't you think it's time we talked?"

The blonde head shook with wry humor, "I just love this role reversal."

"So glad I could bring some amusement to your life."

"Go to sleep, Xena."

"After we talk."

"Then I guess you'll be up the rest of the night cause I'm going to bed." With that, the bard slipped between blankets pulling them securely over her head. Quicker than a blink, the covers were snatched away and thrown into a corner of the tent. Shocked by the intrusion, Gabrielle responded on instinct, whipping around with sword in hand. Xena easily grabbed the wrist, wrenching the sword free and sending it to keep the blankets company. But the bard was in a rage and followed through with a slap to the face. Blue eyes reflected shock but green didn't notice as she rained blow after blow on the passive dark woman. Stoically she endured the assault, praying this would release the demons she knew Gabrielle was holding inside. Blood spurted from a split lip splashing across the young woman's face. Realization sunk in stopping the tirade.

"By the Gods, what am I doing?" came the whispered voice. She started to reach out to touch the battered face, but pulled back reining in her emotions, her version of the warrior mask slipping into place. "We'll be in Amphipolis soon," she said blandly as she gathered her blankets and sword.

A thought began to whir inside the dark head. "You mean to leave me there, don't you? Talk about role reversal."

"You need time to recover. And I didn't imagine you would appreciate my troops taking up residence in your home town.

"Your troops?"

"That's how it works. Kill the commander, get the army. Better me than one of them."

"But you don't have to keep them. Disband them ? give them to someone else ? anything! But this is not you, Gabrielle!"

"I don't know. I may have found my true calling. I slit Talmedeus's throat without hesitation. I've freed a town and led my men with honor. I think I can make a real difference using strength for the weak. All for the greater good, right?"

"That's how it starts. That's how I started. But it takes power to maintain control and bedtime stories of heroes will not last you long."

"Maybe not, but what does it matter? I'm beginning to see that the price for the greater good is simply one soul. Surely I can give that for so many others? Tartarus, Xena! I've already paid the damned price! What choice do I have? I have to ride this out as long as I can. I've got to make it right somehow! I've got to give it meaning, don't you see?!"

Their eyes locked, drilling into each other for long moments, and amazingly it was Xena who surrendered first seeing the bard's coldness.

"This is destroying you," she said softly. "Please, Gabrielle, stop now before it's too late - before you become me," she pleaded.

"I'm not nearly as good at weapons as you. I'm sure I'll be dead long before that."

The warrior stared at her young friend in understanding. "You want to die."

"Don't be ridiculous."

The black head shook in disbelief. "You're a lot of things, Gabrielle - stubborn, chatty, reckless, but I never thought you were a coward."

The blonde head whirled around to confront the tall woman. "Coward?! How dare you! I took your place while you were busy dieing! I got on Argo! I faced down Talmedeus! I faced this whole damn army single handed when I thought you were dead!" She glared at the warrior daring her to contradict her.

Slowly she approached the young woman coming nose to nose with her. "You're a coward. You couldn't face being alone when you thought I was dead. And now you can't live with the knowledge of having killed a man. Rather than face your pain, live with it, you'd rather put yourself in situations where you won't have to deal with it for long. Deny it if you like, but it won't change reality."

Another staring contest was under way but this time it was Gabrielle who broke away first, doubt tugging at her brain. 'Could she be right?' Turning away, her steps faltered as she sank to her knees, her breath ragged as emotions fought to make themselves known. A scream from the core of her being wracked the small body. Men in the camp jumped to their feet in alarm. Several soldiers raced to their leader's tent, swords ready. "Lord Blade?"

They could see nothing wrong, but the woman was on her knees and Xena was unarmed standing on the other side. "Get out!" she screamed at them from where she knelt.

"But, Lord, we-"

Rising swiftly, she barked again, "I said get out - now!"

Tripping over each other to depart, the men scrambled for the exit. Her back to her friend, she struggled to regain control. She sensed rather than heard Xena move in front of her.

"Gabrielle?" The small woman remained staring at the floor. "Please look at me," she begged as she tried to gently tilt the blonde head up. "It's going to be all right. Not tomorrow or next week - but one day it will be all right again." The small woman merely turned away in defeat. "You're a good person, the best. I've managed to stay on the right path because you believed in me." She took a deep breath before continuing. "And I believe in you. The world needs people like you, Gabrielle. Please, you've got to believe in yourself again." She moved back around and bent down to be able to look her friend in the eyes. "If a bloodthirsty violent ex-warlord like me deserves a second chance, then certainly a generous, kind farm girl deserves the same."

The bard's eyes darted furtively towards her friend, the words tumbling around in her brain. "You're getting better at putting sentences together," she said softly. A smile of relief broke on Xena's face as she wrapped the small woman in a hug. "Hugging too? Won't this hurt your reputation?"

The warrior pulled back to give Gabrielle her crooked half smile. "Humor. That's a good sign. We'll get through this together, I promise you."

The bard nodded weakly as she sank down onto the bedrolls. Gingerly the tall woman lowered herself beside the distraught woman, placing an arm around her shoulders. "Can we just go to sleep now, Xena?"

"Of course, Gabrielle." She grabbed the blankets and tucked them around them both praying to the gods that the gentle woman would be able to get past this.

*********

The next day came much too soon. Sleep had eluded the bard as she lay trying to figure out what to do next. A fragile plan had formed in her mind and she went out to meet the men, taking Xena with her.

"Donner, gather the men, there's been a change in plans." Her first lieutenant quickly had the troops at attention. Gabrielle stood on the wagon in order to look each man in the eye as she made her pronouncement. "After much thought, and getting to know you all individually, I've come to an important decision. Taking into account our resources, our skills, and our personal goals, I've concluded it's time to disband this army." She waited patiently allowing the mumblings to run through the men. Raising her hand for silence, she continued. "I will divide the supplies of our camp equally with all of you. I know many of you miss your families. Take this opportunity to go home. I know you won't go home rich, but I'm betting you'll go home with more than when you arrived. You've also learned invaluable skills in defending your families."

"What about the rest of us?" came a voice.

"And what about the swords that merchant owes us?"

"Yeah, you plan to take those for a new army?" Rumbling began growing.

"Hold on!" The bard's voice carried across the field. "Donner and Xena will continue to Amphipolis to get the swords which will then be brought back here and distributed to each of you. One day there, one day back. While they're gone, we'll divide the camp. For those without families, you will be free to do whatever you wish. Perhaps some of you will choose to go to the home towns of your friends. Other may choose to finally seek out your own dreams. Galen could be a great healer and I can write a letter to introduce him to a school I know. If you're not sure what you want to do, I'd be happy to talk with you and give any help I can. If you choose to continue your career as a mercenary, I'll be happy to point you in the direction of the warlord of your choice. Any questions?"

"Suppose we don't want to disband? Perhaps we all like exactly what we're doing!"

"That's your choice and I won't stand in your way. However, I'll be very surprised if that's the case. Pericles, how long since you've seen your wife and son? Blackie, you've been great at caring for the army's horses. I'm sure any town would welcome you. I know it's tempting to take the easy way to gather your fortune. But if you weigh it against the cost, can you really say it's worth it?"

A different rumbling went through the troops this time as over half the heads nodded in agreement.

"You'll have two days to decide. Now dismissed." Jumping from the wagon she started purposefully for her tent.

Xena's arm reached out to stop the retreating figure. "Gabrielle, I don't like the idea of leaving you alone with them," she whispered intently.

"Xena, you'll make sure Donner stays out of trouble in Amphipolis. And just in case Salmoneus doesn't show, you'll be able to figure something out I know. Look, I handled these men just fine while you were ? dead. I'll be fine. Now go, quickly."

Watching the blonde disappear inside the tent, the warrior tried to keep the rolling of her gut at bay. "I don't have a good feeling about this."

Donner interrupted her thoughts as he approached. "Ready to ride, Xena? Lord Blade said you should use her horse. Our saddlebags are packed so we can leave immediately." He turned, expecting her to follow which she did after one final glance over her shoulder.

********

Throughout the day many of the men came to Gabrielle asking for their share now and heading out immediately. The bard always gave them a little extra since they wouldn't be getting their new sword. They were grateful, preferring the extra supplies as swords were not something that would continue to be a part of their life.

The next day more men visited her, seeking her advice on their options and what might be available to them. It was late afternoon when Stark approached Gabrielle as she continued the distribution process.

"And where's your pile, Commander? Keeping it in your tent so we don't see your personal stash?"

"Actually, Stark, since I came to this army with nothing, I plan to leave with nothing."

"Altruistic to the end, huh?"

"Just practical. I travel light."

The dirty man continued to circle the bard. She knew he was itching for one last confrontation, but she'd be damned if she gave it to him. "Surely you're taking a few dinars?" He noticed her lack of sword and armor. "I hear Talmedeus had quite a chest stowed away." The woman continued to ignore him. "What's the real reason for disbanding the army, Commander?" he asked with a sneer.

Gabrielle looked him squarely in the eye as she calmly said, "To get away from you. You stink." She saw his face instantly ignite in rage. 'Why did I bite? Damn.'

"You think you're so much better than the rest of us with your fancy ways and fancy words. But you're just another wanna-be warlord who couldn't cut it. You're pathetic."

"Whatever." She really didn't feel like a fight. She thought turning away would let him back down. Instead her dismissal of him was the final blow. He landed on her shoving her face into the dirt. Fists hammered into her back and head as she attempted to protect herself. Men began to gather to watch; some yelled for Stark, some for Gabrielle. But none intruded except for Galen who had seen the sneak attack. However Jarren was there to restrain him as he cheered Stark on.

Having been pinned beneath the big man, the bard was finding it hard to get any leverage. At last her hand happened on a rock that she was able to bring to meet Stark's temple. Surprised, he howled in pain as he fell off his victim. Quick as a cat she was on her feet taking a defensive stance. Glancing around, she tried to seek a weapon, but blood poured in her eye, the old cut having been re-opened.

Stark pulled a long dagger from his boot and charged again. Nimbly the bard ducked and rolled out of reach. At that moment Galen got in an elbow to Jarren's ribs breaking free of his grip. "Lord Blade!" he called as he threw her a sword.

Gabrielle caught it with ease and stood ready to meet Stark's onslaught. Fear flicked in his eyes as he froze mid-step. There was a feral grin on the bard's lips as she advanced. Stumbling backwards, the cowardly man fell flat on his butt. The young woman hesitated seeing the steel in her hand, hearing the men chant "Blade!", smelling the fear rolling off the man at her feet. She tossed the sword away and the cheering died away. A moment of disbelief kept everyone still. Stark thanked Ares for his luck as he took advantage of the moment, lunging with dagger extended.

The bard's instincts kicked in as she struck out with the flat of her palm. The blow sent the nose cartilage straight into the man's brain killing him instantly, a look of surprise on his face as he fell. Gabrielle's face mirrored that surprise. Her intent had been defense, not destruction. The men cheered her victory, Jarren ran for the hills, and Galen approached to care for his lord's wounds.

Before the young man could minister to her, she stepped back with a look of shock and confusion in her eyes. "Lord Blade?" Another step back as fear and despair took over.

"I can't stay here ? I have to get out of here ? I've got to leave ?" Turning stiffly she began walking off into the woods.

"Lord Blade! Wait! Come back!" He stood helplessly as he watched the woman he'd come to respect walk out of their lives.

*********

It was late that evening when Xena and Donner returned with the promised swords. The men gathered around like children at Solstice. The tall warrior was grateful Salmoneus had come through for a change. Leaving the soldiers to pick over the wagon, she headed for Gabrielle's tent. She noticed the staff inside, but saw no sign of the bard. Automatically grabbing the staff, Xena sought out the young healer. "Galen, where's Lord Blade?" Shame filled the hazel eyes as he looked at the warrior. "Galen, what is it? What's happened?"

"There was a fight early this afternoon. Stark attacked Lord Blade from behind." Every muscle in the warrior tightened in fear. "I really thought he was going to get the better of her. I tried to help, but Jarren prevented me. Then miraculously she dislodged him and I was able to throw her a sword." He got a faraway look as he remembered what happened next. "But she threw it away."

"And he killed her," she stated flatly as her heart crumbled.

"What? Oh no. Stark charged and with one blow to his face, she killed him instantly.

'Oh Gods, not another death on her hands! It couldn't have happened to a nicer fellow, but it will only destroy her further.' Taking a breath, she continued her inquiry. "Where is your Lord then?"

"I don't know. I was going to dress her wounds, but she wouldn't let me near. Her face was filled with such sorrow. It broke my heart. Then she said she had to get out and walked off into the woods. That was the last I saw her."

"Which way?" The man pointed west and Xena was on her way. Grabbing Argo's reins, the warrior started off doing her best to track the bard in the quickly waning light. Soon the sun gave up its last moments of life to a sliver of moon. Xena wanted to push on, but realized it might only take her further away from her young friend. Grudgingly she stopped and waited for dawn's first glimmering. The moment she could see enough, she was off again.

The trail avoided roads and several times the keen eyes almost missed the miniscule clues pointing the way. She couldn't believe the bard had gotten so far in such a short time, unless perhaps she'd walked the entire night.

Finally, on the other side of noon, she spotted a flash of gold up ahead. "Gabrielle?" she called gently. Xena knew it was foolish to announce your whereabouts without being sure of your surroundings, but she couldn't stop herself. "Gabrielle!" she yelled loudly, hopefully. The small figure up ahead spun around and then disappeared into the brush. "Gabrielle?" She knew it had been the bard. 'Why did she leave like that?' She quickened her step closing the space between them. In moments she broke from the trees to see the young woman scrambling down the small incline to a rushing river. "Gabrielle, wait! It's me, Xena!"

Finally the retreating figure stopped, turning to her. A voice that usually rang with passion, called out with deadness. "Stay away. Just leave me alone."

She knew the bard was upset with her but surely not enough to leave her. She studied her friend whose eyes looked glazed and body looked on the verge of collapse. "Gabrielle, please, let me help you."

"You can't help. You can't get near me. I kill when I don't mean to. It's not safe to be near me. I'll only hurt you."

Could she be serious? The voice sounded so drained of all life. "Gabrielle, Galen told me what happened with Stark-"

"I didn't mean to kill him. I didn't want to kill him ?" The pain in her voice was so evident.

"I know you didn't. This was self-defense. If you hadn't struck out, you'd be dead right now instead of him."

"I wish I was."

The warrior's incredible hearing caught the whispered words. "No! Don't say that. Where would I be without you?" The blonde head looked up quizzically at her. "You're the reason I've been able to turn my life around. You're the reason I keep trying at all. I need you. I need your understanding and your wisdom and your goodness." With each word, the warrior had edged closer. "Now let me take care of you, all right? You're bloodied and bruised and I bet you haven't eaten," she offered with a small smile. "How about we go back up to Argo, make camp, and get some food in you?"

Gently she slipped her arm around the small waist guiding her up the short incline. Xena shifted into healer mode as she cleaned and re-stitched cuts, put salve on abrasions and bruises, and mixed a medicinal tea. Throughout the process, Gabrielle had uttered nary a word, staring out at nothing. "Gabrielle, look at me. I want you to look at me." Slowly the blonde head turned towards the warrior. "I'm so sorry for everything that's happened to you. And I know this sounds lame, but it'll get better. You're not alone in this." She continued to search the weary eyes. "How about we go to the Amazons awhile? Give us a little time away from the world, ok? A little time to recoup and, before you know it, everything will be just fine."

Blue eyes looked into defeated green and she was at a loss at what more to say. Again the blonde turned away to stare out into the distance. Wind stirred the leaves, birds talked noisily to each other, Argo munched on nearby grass; all of it the picture of normalcy. But as Xena watched the small woman who seemed to be searching for something lost, she knew things might never be normal again.

end