- Reunion of friends -
James Davis
Newtron@webtv.net

Inside a brightly lit tavern we find the two heroes, Hercules and Iolaus are relaxing after having a long fight with a Hydra. Hercules is looking very tired and Iolaus is barely able to hold his head up off the bar. The tavern owner, who is at the other side of the bar across from Iolaus is looking very happy. "I just want to thank you guys again. If it hadn't been for you two that Hydra would have trashed our little town." "Oh, please stop thanking us already, we were glad to help. We do this kind of thing all the time. Don't we Herc?" said Iolaus in a tired voice.

"It seems that way lately, at least this last two weeks," Hercules says with a grin.

"Will you guys watch my place for a little while? I got to go and get another barrel of port wine at the warehouse across town. It won't be much longer before all the town folk who ran off will be coming back and they will want to celebrate the fact that they have a town to come back to," says the tavern owner as he made for the door.

"Sure, no problem", Hercules says as he stretches his legs out in front of the fire.

"Hey Herc. What do you think was the worse, most horrible creature we've had to fight against?" Iolaus asks from the bar where his head has come to rest. He raisses his head to look at his friend who is considering his question. The two friends look at one another for a few seconds and then answer at the same time. "Hera, definitely Hera." Their chuckling is interrupted by the tavern owner as he runs full tilt back into the tavern. He looks like all of Tartarus is right on his heels. "I've got to get out of here, now!"

"What is the problem?" Hercules asks him as he gets to his feet. "Another Hydra?"

"Something much worse. Xena warrior princess is riding this way and she don't look happy!" the tavern owner rasps out.

Iolaus, trying to get the man to calm down says, "You don't need to worry friend. She's not a warlord anymore."

"Well, you can stay if you want but I've seen looks like hers before and I tell you she wants to kill someone and it's not going to be me. If you two are still alive after she leaves, lock the door for me!" And so saying, the tavern owner runs out the front door and is gone.

Iolaus and Hercules look at one another and then shake their heads.

"What do you think is the problem this time, Herc?"

Hercules is about to answer when all of a sudden the sound of a horse being ridden full out, passes the front door. They can hear the horse make the turn at the corner of the tavern and the sounds of it being ridden into the stable behind the tavern. "Guess we'll know in a minute, as it sounds like they're coming in here," replies Hercules in a dry voice.

Two voices can be heard to be arguing as they near the front of the tavern.

"I say that you should just kill him and be done with it." The two friends inside the tavern recognize the voice as belonging to Gabrielle.

"You know that I can't do that, Gabrielle so why do you keep saying it?" Came Xena's voice.

"Wishful thinking?" Came Gabrielle's reply. Suddenly the door to the tavern bangs open and Gabrielle and Xena rush in. They don't even look around as they turn back to the door and slam it shut.

Still facing the door, Gabrielle asks Xena, "Maybe we lost him?" "You wish!" replies Xena.

"Lost who, Xena?" Iolaus asks with a smirk, which he quickly loses as he see Xena's face as she whips around with her chakram in her hand. Xena's face is showing worry and unhappiness as is Gabrielle's as she too turns and faces Hercules and Iolaus. "Iolaus, Hercules, I am so glad to see you guys," Gabrielle says as a warm smile breaks out on her face.

"Greetings later Gabrielle, first help me to barricade this door!" Xena comands as she returns her chakram to her hip as she turns and starts to pile chairs against the front door. Gabrielle quickly loses her smile and starts to drag one of the heavy tables against the door. She just manages to get the table in front of the door when Xena grabs her arm and says "Quiet, I think that I hear him coming. You two be quiet also!" She says as she notices Hercules and Iolaus start to look like they are going to talk. Off in the distance, first faintly and then growing in volume with every step closer can be heard.

"Joxer the Mighty!"
"Roams the countryside."
"He never needs a place to hide."
"With Gabby as his sidekick,"
"Fighting with her little stick,"

"Gods, how I hate that song!" Gabrielle says in a fierce whisper.

"Quiet, if he hears us he'll never go away" Xena whispers back to Gabrielle.

"You two are hiding from Joxer?" booms Hercules' voice from behind the two.

Hercules' voice suddenly goes quiet from the look in Xena's eyes as she turns and glares at him. "Will you please shut up before he hears you!" she hisses.

"Hercules? Xena? Are you guys in there?" comes Joxer's voice from the other side of the door.

Gabrielle and Xena back away quietly from the door until they reach the furthest part of the tavern and motion Hercules and Iolaus to join them.

"If you want to get away from Joxer, why don't you just tell him to go away?" whispers Iolaus wondering why he was whispering.

"Yeah, have you ever tried to get rid of Joxer? Gabrielle even knocked him out with her staff and that didn't stop him from following us", whispered Xena.

"Thats not like you, Gabrielle. Why did you knock out Joxer?" Hercules asked in a normal voice.

"Please lower you voice Hercules. The reason I knocked out Joxer was, me and Xena were having a ...... conversation late one night, when he suddenly burst into our camp." Gabrielle whispers.

Iolaus can't help but notice that Gabrielle is now blushing. It must have been some conversation they were having he thinks to himself. He notices that Gabrielle's blushing goes all the way down her cleveage and he moves slightly to get a better vantage point to witness this when all of a sudden he is hit in the back of the head by Xena's hand.

"Sorry about that Iolaus, just reaching for a bottle of port at the bar. Must be getting clumsy." growls Xena.

Iolaus noticing that there is no bottle on the bar, port or otherwise, looks up at Xena's blue eyes and seeing the look in them decides that it is in his best interest to move away from Gabrielle's side.

From the front door Joxer's voice can be heard to yell, "I'm not leaving till someone lets me in". There is a moment of silence and the he starts to sing.

"Joxer the Mighty!"
"He's very tidy,"
"Everyone admires him."

The song continues on while the trapped friends inside move even closer to the far wall.

"I still say you should just kill him!" Gabrielle pleads with Xena.

"Gabrielle, you know that Xena doesn't do that anymore!" came Hercules' shocked whisper.

"Oh, we discussed that a few nights ago," Xena tells Hercules. "It was after Joxer had interrupted me and Gabrielle during one of our conversations. I had just about decided one more killing would not be that much of a black mark on my record. When all of a sudden Hades appeared and told me that if I even thought about sending Joxer to the other side, he would make him immortal and send him back to us and tell him that he was to be our constant bodyguard. So Gabrielle, I can't kill him, so get it out of your mind."

Gabrielle is staring off into space with her lips slightly open and her face is flushed. "Yeah, but it was quite a 'conversation' we were having that night, when he interrupted." She quickly snaps back to the present and glances at Hercules and Iolaus, who are suddenly studying the fireplace behind her. "I think that I need a cool drink"

"Good idea, if you get any redder you are going to be as red as your hair!" Iolaus joked. Then feeling Xena's eyes boring into his back he adds, "I think I need a drink too."

Iolaus moves around to the other side of the bar and starts to look for something to drink. He crouches down behind the bar for a minute and then calls out quietly, "Hey,Herc! There's a small barrel down here but I can't lift it. Give me a hand will you?" Hercules move around behind the bar and with one hand lifts the barrel from underneath the bar and sits it on top of the bar. "Wonder what's in it?" says Iolaus, as he puts a mug under the spout and turns it on.

Xena looks over and says, "if its port, I want some." Soon the strong smell of hard cider fills the air. "Sorry Xena, its cider. Want some anyway?" Xena doesn't answer in words, she just frowns and goes to the front door. "How about you Gabrielle?" "I would love some", Gabrielle says as she moves over to the bar. Iolaus fills a large mug and hands it over to her. Xena stays by the front door for a while listening to Joxer prowl around outside and singing his song. Finally she looks over to Gabrielle and says, "Watch how much you drink of that. It is probably stronger than you are used to."

Joxer hearing Xena near the door yells, "Xena is that you in there? Let me in. What's the problem anyway?"

Xena moving extra carefully away from the door returns to Gabrielle's side at the back of the tavern. "Remember what I said, be careful how much you drink of that. I don't need you drunk at the moment." "Nag, nag. You don't need to tell me. Tell Iolaus, he's already drank 3 mugs of cider and I am still sipping my first one. It's not that strong is it Iolaus?" Gabrielle looks over to Iolaus to notice that he now has a stupid grin on his face and is obviously not feeling any pain. "Then again, maybe the cider does have a wallop to it after all," Gabrielle says as she starts to feel a little dizzy herself. She pushes her half full mug of cider away and moves away from the bar. She leaves her staff leaning against the bar.

"Waste not, want not," Iolaus says as he drinks what is left of Gabrielle's mug.

"Xena, have you noticed how quiet its gotten at the front door? Maybe Joxer gave up and went away?" Gabrielle whispers to Xena.

"You still wish", Xena whispers back. "He's probably thinking up some more lyrics for that song of his."

Suddenly from the side of the tavern they hear whistling. Its coming toward the front of the tavern. "Hercules, who had return to lean against the back wall after helping Iolaus at the bar, opens his eyes and says "I know that tune. The last time I heard it, I was in a castle in the clouds with Autolycus. He was whistling it with a baby harpy."

Gabrielle looks over at Hercules and says, "I didn't know you drank any of the cider."

" I am not drunk or crazy, Gabrielle. I was in a castle in the clouds and Autolycus was whistling with a baby harpy. Its a long story."

"I would like to hear that story. I have a feeling it would make a great addition to my bard stories," Gabrielle grins.

"Later Gabrielle, the whistling is almost at the corner of the building now!" Xena whispers to Gabrielle.

From outside the whistling stops suddenly and we hear the voice of Autolycus say, "Not you. Is it Joxer or Jett?"

"Its me, Autolycus. Joxer the Mighty."

"Great."

Gabrielle thinks to herself, Autolycus only sounds slightly more happy finding out its Joxer and not the killer Jett.

"So what are you doing here, Joxer?"

"I think that Xena and Hercules are inside the tavern but I can't get in. I think they are being held against their will inside." Joxer explains to Autolycus.

"You are not sure if they are in there or not? Have you looked in the stable around back to see if Argo is in there? You know that Xena would never leave her anywhere, Xena wasn't." Autolycus asks Joxer. Inside the tavern Xena turns to Gabrielle and says close to her ear, "I don't care how much we owe Autolycus. The next time I see him, he's a dead man!"

Gabrielle grins and gives Xena a look like, I know that you are just kidding but she gulps when she sees the look in Xena's eyes. "You are just kidding? Aren't you Xena?" she whispers worriedly to the warrior princess. Xena smiles down at Gabrielle and whispers back, "You won't know until I get my hands on Autolycus, will you?"

Outside they can hear Joxer. "Hey, thats a good idea. I'll check the stable and see if Argo is there." The sounds of Joxer moving away from the door and going around the corner can be heard. A few moments later Autolycus trying the front door can be heard. A metalic grating noise is heard. Gabrielle is thinking to herself, that would be Autolycus's grapling hook. The friends inside then hear a noise coming from the roof of the tavern. That would be the hook catching on something on the roof, thinks Gabrielle. They then hear a yodel coming from outside, "Yodela he hoo!"

Hercules leaning against the wall with his eyes closed mutters, "I hate when he does that!"

Gabrielle glances up at the ceiling and sees a skylight start to open and then returns her attention to the front door. A rope drops down from the ceiling. The end of the rope lands on a table near her. The King of Thieves slides down the rope and lands nonchalantly on the table next to Gabrielle, leaning back on his elbows, with his legs crossed. Not to be outdone Gabrielle without turning to look at him says, "Hi Autolycus, nice of you to drop in."

"Hi Gabrielle, miss me?"

Gabrielle takes both of her hands and puts them on Autolycus's waist and pulls him off of the table. He lands on his feet with his hands resting on her shoulders. Gabrielle then smiles up at him sweetlyand in one swift move brings her hands up between his arms, knocking his hands off of her shoulders and grabs his mustache and pulls him down to her eye level. "If Joxer figures out where you went and how you got in here and follows you. I am going to hit you on the head with my staff so hard, you are going to be closer to your prized manhood than you are now", she says all honey and light. She then lets go of his mustache and he straightens up and she steps back a few paces.

"Zeus! Gabrielle what's your problem?" A startled Autolycus asks. Over at the bar where Iolaus is filling his mug with hard cider for the tenth time says, "Her and Xena have been trying to have a really serious conversation at night for a while and everytime they get into it, Joxer appears." Realizing that he spoke that out loud and Xena is starting to turn to face him, he quietly slips down behind the bar taking his drink with him.

Gabrielle starts to blush again and Autolycus standing next to her glances down and says, "Hey, do you know that when you blush it goes all the way down, ooof, owww". The last two sounds from Autolycus are made because Xena hits him in the stomach and then under the chin with Gabrielle's staff that she picked up from the bar on her way over to them. Autolycus is knocked back into a chair that is behind him. "Oh, sorry Autolycus. Just wanted to give Gabrielle her staff back and I must have accidentally hit you. I am just so clumsy today!" Xena says in a sugary voice that reminds Gabrielle of Xena's lookalike friend Meg. Silence descends on the tavern as everyone inside can hear Joxer return to the front door.

"Hey, Autolycus you were right, Argo is in the stable. Hey, where'd you go? Where is everyone?" Joxer is quiet for a moment and the friends inside the tavern can hear someone else walk up to the front door. "Halt, who goes there" Joxer barks at the person.

"The name is Salmoneus, friend. Who might you be?"

"I am Joxer the Mighty"

"You're Joxer the Mighty. The one Gabrielle told me about?" Salmoneus suprised voice asks.

"Oh, you know Gabrielle too? I suppose she has told you what a great fighter I am." Joxer says with pride in his voice.

"Yeah, Gabrielle told me that you were full of.....fighting ability," Salmoneus finishes weakly. "What are you doing standing outside of a tavern?"

"I think Xena, Hercules and Gabrielle are being held hostage inside but I can't find a way in" Joxer whines.

"Well have you tried the back door, yet? All the taverns I have ever been in have back doors. I have had to make use of them sometimes when the mob comes after me, uh, um I mean when customers want to talk about refunds."

"Well I have been in the back and all that is there is a stable where Xena's horse is, there is no door there. You have to go by the side of the tavern to get to the stables and there is no door there, not even windows." Joxer informs Salmoneus.

"How about the other side?'

"That's a blacksmith shop."

"So? I know this quaint little tavern in Athens where the tavern was next door to a blacksmith shop and there was a doorway between the two businesses so you could leave your horse to be shod and go directly into the tavern for a drink. Have you tried looking in there yet?" Salmoneus asks Joxer.

Joxer says, "I'll give it a try." He walks off and enters the blacksmiths. As soon as Joxer is out of sight Salmoneus starts banging on the door. "Let me in guys before he gets back. Please?" Inside the tavern Gabrielle gives Xena a puppy dog look. "Oh, all right. But lets get the door open and close before Joxer gets back." Xena whispers to Gabrielle. They move the barricades and let Salmoneus in. While this is going on, Iolaus decides to check the storage room and see if he can find anything to eat. Not a easy trick considering how much cider he's had.

Salmoneus is looking back over his shoulder as he slips inside the tavern. "Thank you." He earnestly says to Xena and Gabrielle. Xena and Gabrielle immediatly set out to put the barricades back into place.

"What brings you into town Salmoneus?" Asks Hercules from his place at the wall.

"Hydras"

Hercules's face falls. "Excuse me?'

"Hydras," Salmoneus says again. "I heard that this quaint little town was being plagued by one of those multi-headed beasts, and it just so happens I have recently come upon a potion given to me by an alchemist in Athens." He takes a small vial from his pack. "Hydra repellent."

"Hydra repellent?" asks Gabrielle. She and Xena pause a moment in their labors. "Does it work?"

Salmoneus shrugs his shoulders "Haven't a clue. I haven't seen any Hydras to test it on." He starts to reach for the cork, then changes his mind. "But I will tell you one thing, it sure repells me. This stuff smells so bad it would probably keep a man who's been in prison for ten years off of Aphrodite herself if she were wearing it."

Hercules laughs. "Well, I hate to burst your greedy little heart Salmoneus, but I am afraid these villagers won't be needing your services. That Hydra is already dead."

"Oh." Salmoneus's vision of quick dinars wings it's way out of his imagination but only for a moment. "No matter. Where there is one Hydra there is bound to be another. I'll just move on to the next village on the path and see if there is anyone who wants this potion there." Gabrielle and Xena finish moving the barricades back into place against the front door and turn to face the room, when they see a very worried looking Iolaus coming in from the storage room door. "Geuss who I found coming in a door in the storage room from a blacksmiths next door?" he says weakly.

A very happy Joxer bounds into the room and rushes over to Gabrielle and Xena and throws his arms wide and yells, "Group hug!" and sweeps them into his arms.

Xena looks over Joxer's back at Gabrielle and removes her chakram from her waist and holds it behind Joxer over his neck.

Gabrielle gives a quick shake of her head and mouths one word, "Hades." Xena raises one eyebrow and nods her head and replaces the chakram back onto her hip.

Joxer releases the two women and Gabrielle starts to move quickly back toward Hercules at the back of the tavern. Joxer gestures toward the front door and says, "why is the front door barricaded?"

Xena looks at Autolycus, who looks at Salmoneus, who looks at Hercules, who looks at Iolaus, who is staring into a cider mug. They all turn and look at Gabrielle.

Gabrielle is trying to decided who to look at, when she decides its all up to her. "Why is the front door barricaded? Uh, ther were reports that there was a Hydra in the area. Wasn't there, Hercules?" she says as she looks at Hercules. Before Hercules can reply, Iolaus at the bar pipes up and says, "Yeah, me and Hercules killed it earlier. Didn't we Herc?"

Gabrielle shoots Iolaus the "look" and says, "yes but we heard that the Hydra might have had babies and even baby Hydras can be dangerous. Can't they Hercules?"

Hercules replies, "Yes, yes they can be and that is why we barricaded the doors while we rested before going out to look and see if we could find them."

Gabrielle looks up at Hercules and smiles at him in gratitude for the help in the story. Joxer moves over to the front door to see if it needs any more barracading. Gabrielle looks up at Hercules and whispers, "Do Hydras have babies?"

Hercules looks down at her and shrugs his shoulders and whispers back, "heck if I know."

Salmoneus who had moved over to stand next to Gabrielle says, "Well can we get something to eat before we go baby Hydra hunting? I am starved anyone else?" Gabrielle's stomach picks that exact moment to growl. "See? The lovely Amazon Queen's stomach agrees with me. It's lunch time!" Salmoneus laughs.

Everyone starts to make for the bar except Gabrielle. "I wish everyone would stop paying so much attention to how my body reacts!" she mutters.

"Everyone?" Xena whispers into her ear startling her. "Xena, I wish you would stop sneaking up on me like that!" "I just wanted to ask you if you think this tavern has any rooms for the night?" Xena watching to make sure no one else was paying any attention to them says.

"Why?" Gabrielle leans back into Xena

"Because I was thinking it would be nice to have a room with a door we could lock so we can finally finish one of those 'conversations' we keep trying to have." Xena breathes into Gabrielle's ear.

Gabrielle who's legs have suddenly gone weak looks around and replies, "I don't think they have any rooms here at all, Xena. There is no staircase going up and thre is only two doors here. One leading outside and the other appears to go into a storeroom and a blacksmith's shop."

"Drat, that means we have to camp out and take a chance that Joxer will show up again tonight. Unless..." Xena suddenly gets a wicked gleam into her eyes.

"Unless what, Xena?"

"Well there might be a lot of bandits in this area, might there?"

"So?"

"Well Salmoneus being such a great merchant, he shouldn't travel without a bodyguard should he? Say a bodyguard like...... Joxer?"

"Xena, that would be cruel to do that to a friend of ours."

"Are you forgetting that it was Salmoneus that was the one to mention to Joxer that this tavern might have a side door in the blacksmith's shop?"

"Well you do have a point there."

"Okay, you get Salmoneus over here out of the way and I'll talk to Joxer about bodyguarding our good friend." Xena says with a smile on her face.

"Xena, I'm not so sure about this plan."

"Don't you want to finish our 'conversation', Gabrielle? I can get into a pretty heated 'conversation' you know." Xena whispers close to Gabrielle's ear and seeing that no one is watching, she gives Gabrielle's ear a little lick with her tongue.

"Right, I get Salmoneus over here and you go talk to Joxer. Heated conversations tonight!" Gabrielle whispers to Xena with a glazed look in her eyes. Xena moves off to go and stand next to Joxer at the bar.

"Salmoneus can you come over here for a minute?"

"What is it Gabrielle?"

"I just wanted to thank you for suggesting to Joxer that this tavern had a side door."

"Oops, sorry about that. Who knew that a guy who designed a tavern in Athens came here and designed one for this town as well?" Salmoneus gives Gabrielle his best repentant puppy dog look.

Gabrielle who is starting to lose her glazed look and is starting to feel sorry for Salmoneus, opens her mouth to tell him she is sorry and what Xena is planning when she hears from the bar.

"I've been thinking of some new lyrics to my song guys. Tell me what you think of this!"

"Joxer the Mighty"
"With Gabby by his side"
"She worships the ground he walks on"
"Because he never makes a slip."
"He's so handsome and so hip"

Gabrielle looks at Salmoneus and says only one thing, "Have fun on your trip to the next town, Salmoneus."

- - The End.