Prologue
A smile spread over Addison's face as she tried carefully to slip out of the bed without disturbing the blonde. Pulling open the set of drawers beside the bed, she pulled out a pair of white cotton shorts and went to put them on.
"What are you doing?" Tara's drowsy voice asked.
Addison looked adoringly at the younger woman, whose eyes remained shut.
"I didn't think you were awake. I thought I might put on some clothes and then make you breakfast."
Tara moved closer to where Addison stood naked. As she rolled over, the bed sheet stayed trapped between her legs as she resettled.
"I'm not hungry, baby."
"I was going to make those hash browns you like so much."
"There is something I want more then hash browns. And that's you. Please come back to bed, I miss you."
Addison followed Tara's request and sat on the edge of the bed, beside her.
"Good morning, love." She said, as she leaned down and kissed Tara's forehead, then her nose, and finally her lips.
Tara reached a hand around Addison's shoulders and pulled her closer, not wanting to let the soft lips go yet.
"Great morning to you. Now that's a good way to start the day." Tara murmured before releasing her grip on Addison's body.
Addison lay back down beside Tara still holding her tight, and closed her arms around the sleepy warm body.
Tara drifted back into a peaceful sleep, while Addison was content to watch. She studied Tara's body for a few minutes. She loved the way the smaller woman looked while she slept. Her face was relaxed and her lips were just calling to be kissed again.
Addison left a light kiss on Tara's chin, before settling down beside her, and naked legs intertwined, fell promptly asleep.
Tara could feel eyes watching her, and instantly knew it was the woman she loved.
"Good morning again," she said, head resting on Addison's shoulder.
Addison reached her hand to Tara's face and tenderly brushed some sleep from the corner of Tara's eye. Her hand lingered and traveled down Tara's face, coming to rest on her collar bone.
Tara's left hand, which was resting on Addison's stomach, casually drew circles, her nails leaving a slight tingle in their wake.
Both women enjoyed just being close to each other. No clothing separating them. Comfortable in the silence around them. Lying in each other's arms. Feeling the other's warm skin in such proximity. Smelling their own scents on their lover's breath. Staring into the eyes of the one they loved.
Full contact, body and soul.
Chapter 1
The Matron looked at her watch. At the stroke of 8, footsteps could be heard, echoing down the corridor. Matron Morton looked up and couldn't help but smile at the sight approaching her. Every morning at 8am, not a second later, Addison Jones would arrive at the ICU, staying until leaving time at 8 at night. Each day the same routine would take place. Promptly at the beginning of ICU visiting hours, Addison would arrive, arms filled with coffee and 2 bouquets of flowers. Her first stop; greeting the nursing staff and leaving fresh coffee in their grateful hands.
As always she asked politely,
"Is it all right if I visit Molly for a few minute? I got some fresh flowers for her."
Molly Humphries was an 86 year old woman, whose only family was a granddaughter who wasn't able to visit as often as she would have liked. When Addison realised the older woman was alone a lot, she always made a special visit every day. Although in a coma, the staff knew that Addison's visits were the brightest part of the woman's day.
It was only after all this that Addison did what she came to the hospital for.
After leaving Molly's room, she would approach room 26. What lay behind this door was her everything, but also her nightmares" reality.
She entered and gently shut the door.
Addison's eyes softened at the sight of Tara. No matter what she looked like, Addison still thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her lips turned up in the corners in a slight smile and a flush came over her face.
Nothing would ever change the way she felt about Tara.
As Tara rushed out of the supermarket, her shoulder collided with someone else's. Tara bent to pick up her spilled groceries, and a voice interrupted her.
"Tara? Tara Benson?"
Tara looked into the questioning face, at first not placing the familiar woman.
"Tara Benson, from Applegate High School?"
It finally hit Tara, who this lady was.
"Oh my God, Allison McLeay. I can't believe it's you."
"I thought it was you. How have you been?"
"I've been great. How long has it been now? 8, almost 9 years?"
"About that long. You look great. What have you been doing with yourself?"
"I'm working as a Journalist for the Bulletin. And it's Tara Jones now."
"So who's the lucky guy then?"
"Do you remember Addison Jones? She was the year ahead of us in school. She writes children's books now. We've been together for 7 years."
Alison shifted uncomfortably, as the information sank in.
"Oh, that's nice."
An uncomfortable pause occurred, only to be broken by Alison.
"I have to go. I need to... to get some mayonnaise."
Although upset about Alison's sudden change in attitude, Tara wasn't about to let it show.
"That's a shame. Maybe next time we can have a better chat. It would be good to catch up."
"I'm really busy so I won't be able to. Goodbye, Tara."
Allison hurried into the store, without even a backward glance. Though Tara had received some bad reactions to the news of her relationship with Addison, it still hurt that many people disliked the fact she loved another woman.
Not willing to dwell on it, Tara looked at her watch and realised she would be late home, where Addison would be waiting for her. She gathered her bags and hurried up the street. With a quick look both left and right, she stepped off the pavement. Not till the last minute did Tara recognise the danger. The squeal of slammed brakes filled the air. It was a desperate attempt by the driver to stop, but was too late, as the sound of the bumper bar meeting Tara's body soon followed. Tara's body rolled up the bonnet of the 4WD and cracked the windscreen, before being thrown several metres away. Silence descended upon the scene, and seconds went by before anyone moved. The car raced off, not staying to help, leaving her bleeding body behind. Recently bought groceries lay scattered over the road, jars broken and vegetables squashed. Several people ran to help the prostrate woman.
Bronwyn Sugars was the first to approach Tara's motionless form. For the rest of her days, she would never forget the thud of this woman being struck by the vehicle, or the snapping of her bones breaking as she landed, body twisted, in the gutter. Bronwyn knew that there was not much she could do, so she held Tara's hand, taking great care not to move her body. She observed the gold ring on Tara's wedding finger, and guessed that someone special in this young woman's life was going to be heartbroken.
Suddenly out of the quiet, the telephone rang. Thinking it would be Tara, Addison answered with a smile. "Hey Babe."
An unfamiliar voice replied
"Is that Addison Jones?"
"Speaking," Addison said, settling back into her chair.
"I'm afraid there has been an accident."
Addison's heart crumbled. She knew within, that something had happened to Tara.
The voice continued, "Tara Jones was involved in a hit and run, and has been taken to the General hospital. As you are registered as her next of kin, we would like you to get to the hospital as soon as you can."
"Is she OK?" Addison said with a slight crack in her voice, not letting her full emotions be clear, "Please tell me she's OK."
"I'm sorry, madam, I don't know any other information. Just that Ms Jones was in an accident and to inform you."
"It's Mrs. Jones," Addison said absently.
"A police car will be arriving at your house shortly to take you to the hospital. I'm really sorry again, madam."
The voice disconnected, leaving Addison holding the phone in the air. Not till a knock on the door penetrated her thoughts, did her mind start moving. Grabbing her keys and her jacket, she raced to the door, collecting her ankle on the corner of the coffee table. This was the first item of furniture that Tara and Addison had bought together as a couple.
Ignoring the pain, she hobbled to the door, opening it to 2 uniformed police officers and she walked past them to the waiting car. The officers followed, and they were soon speeding toward the hospital. Addison spent the entire journey looking out the window, watching the world flash by. A thin piece of dirty glass separated her from the world outside. She knew her world would never be the same again.
Chapter 2
Addison approached the bed, leant over and softly placed a kiss on Tara's forehead.
"Hey, sweetheart. I bought some fresh flowers for you. I'll just put them in this vase."
Addison removed the day old flowers from the vase, letting them rest on the table, before putting in the new bunch.
"Isn't that better? I got you some roses this morning. I know how much you love the smell. I'll be right back sweetie."
Addison picked up yesterday's carnations, and walked outside to the matron's desk.
"Hi, I thought you might like these," she said as she offered the matron the flowers, "Brighten the place up."
The matron gratefully accepted the flowers, knowing that Addison hated to see them thrown away.
"They're beautiful, thank you very much. Will you be staying all day?"
"Of course," Addison replied.
As Addison strolled off, the matron called after her, "I'll make sure a meal is delivered around 12."
Knowing she was heard, but not expecting a reply, the matron returned to her work.
On her way back to Tara's room, Addison passed Nurse Dish on her rounds.
"Did I get your coffee right this morning?" Addison asked.
"It was great, thanks. If you treat Tara as well as us nursing staff, then she's very lucky."
"I'm the lucky one," Addison replied, before disappearing into the room again.
Addison sat in the waiting room unsmiling. Her only movement was when she nervously brushed her long dark hair out of her face. No one approached her. The look on her face, warned off even the most sympathetic.
"Addy?"
Addison raised her head at the sound of her name. Through the door came a distinguished older couple. Though both were graying, and laugh-lines had become wrinkles, they kept a youthful appearance. Addison stood and fell into their waiting arms. Her face was stony, and not a single tear could be seen.
Vince and Doris Benson regarded Addison as their own daughter, having known her since she was 6, when their daughter Tara brought her home, declaring Addison her new best friend. When Addison came out to the Bensons at the age of 14, they were supportive, especially when her family took it badly. When Tara came to them seven years ago, and told them she had fallen in love with a woman, they were at first disappointed. Though they were fine with Addison being gay, they did not expect it of their daughter. They loved Tara, but thought she would marry and have children. When they discovered that the other girl was Addison, they were initially angry, blaming her for their daughter's decision, and shunning her. After a year with less and less communication, Vince and Doris realised it was no one's fault. They knew that these two girls made each other happy, so they accepted the love they shared, and allowed Addison back into their hearts.
When Doris hugged Addison she could feel the tension running through her body. Vince and Doris both pulled away at the same time. Never losing physical contact with each other, they all sat down on the waiting room chairs, with Addison in the middle.
"What have you heard, dear?" Doris asked Addison.
"Nothing. They won't tell me anything." Addison replied, her voice cracking, "I keep asking, but they say to be patient. How can I be patient?"
The lime green chair creaked as she sunk lower in it. Doris squeezed her hand. They sat together silently supporting each other.
The door at the end of the room swung open, and Dr. Joshua Mulley walked in. He glanced around before finally approaching the Addison and the Bensons. All three jumped out of their chairs, as the doctor spoke only to the Bensons.
"Mr. and Mrs. Jones?" he inquired.
Vince stepped forward.
"I'm Vince Benson and this is my wife Doris. Our daughter is Tara Jones."
Doctor Mulley corrected himself, "Mr. and Mrs. Benson, I would like to speak to you about the condition of your daughter."
Addison had enough. She wasn't planning on being ignored
"Excuse me Dr?.." Addison looked at his nametag, "Mulley. I hope this conversation includes me"
"May I ask who you are Ms??" Doctor Mulley said.
"Jones. Mrs. Addison Jones. I'm Tara's partner. I'd like to be informed as well."
"I'm sorry, Madam, you aren't a relation, so?."
Before the doctor had finished the sentence, Addison had him by the neck against the wall.
In a low tone she growled in his face.
"I'm going to tell you some things, little man. If you had checked the papers before coming here, you'd know I am listed as her next of kin, and also hold Power of Attorney in this situation. You might also want to check who the main benefactor of this hospital is."
Addison moved closer, and the Doctor felt her breath on his face.
"And lastly, we are talking about the woman I love. And there is no earthly way, you, or anyone else, can stop me from finding out what's going on and from being with her."
Vince placed a calming hand on Addison's shoulder.
"Addy, you should let him go."
Addison released her hold on the Doctor and walked to the other end of the room. The stunned doctor regained his breath and adjusted the collar on his shirt, before stammering, "I, I, I'm going to f-find someone? yeah," and hurrying off.
The Bensons slowly approached Addison, and as Doris placed her hand on her arm, she flinched.
"Sweetie, I know you are mad, but killing him wouldn't do anything."
Addison continued to look blankly off to the side. Just as the silence began to envelope them, Addison quietly spoke, "It hurts. She's my everything, and he didn't want me near her. I didn't know how to react."
Doris and Vince let these words soak in
"It hurts." Addison whispered, more to herself than anyone else.
The far end door opened again. This time a female doctor entered and came straight over.
"Mrs. Jones. Mr. and Mrs. Benson. I came as soon as I heard."
Vince shook her warmly, "Thanks, Rachel, we appreciate it."
Addison interrupted.
"Rachel, will you tell me what's going on please?"
Dr Rachel Campbell, took a deep breath before continuing
"First I'd like to apologise for my colleague's behavior. He's quite young and inexperienced in situations like this. The hospital greatly appreciates all that you and the other Mrs. Jones have done for this hospital, and will do anything for you, all of you, over this difficult time."
"He wasn't going to let me see her," Addison said in a small voice.
"Again, I'm sorry. Please come through so we can discuss all this."
Dr Campbell led all three out of the waiting room and down the hall.
Chapter 3
Addison sat beside Tara's bed, gently holding her hand, thumb absently rubbing in circles.
"The lawn needs mowing again. I though I'd ask the Newman kid. He's probably looking for some extra pocket money. I heard he had a new girlfriend. I know what it's like to want to spend money on the woman you love."
Addison smiled at Tara's lifeless body. She looked peaceful, all her outward injuries having healed. Apart from the tubes keeping her alive, she looked to be asleep. Addison just watched as the machines inflated her chest, wishing it wasn't like this, wishing it could be her instead of Tara.
Addison reached up and tenderly brushed some hair off Tara's face.
"I wish you would open your eyes for me, love. I would love to be able to stare into your pretty eyes again."
Before Addison could continue, she was startled out of her thoughts by Nurse Able entering the room.
"Sorry to interrupt," he said, "I just need to check her chart."
Addison's eyes never strayed from Tara's face as he did so.
"I'll leave you alone again." He headed out of the room, but not before hearing a voice thanking him.
"Why do they have to go through all this? It doesn't seem fair," he said.
"What is she doing in there now, Danny?" Nurse Dish inquired.
"Just sitting next to her talking."
"They're a beautiful couple," the Matron added, "Did you see the photos of them together as kids, that the Bensons brought in?"
"The other day, I walked in and Addison was reading the sports pages to Tara. Like there was nothing wrong." Nurse Dish said.
The phone rang, but before the matron answered it, she said,
"I wish this wasn't the end. Addison might look like she's coping, but when the machine turns off tonight, we're going to hear her heart break."
After first talking to Addison and the Bensons in her office, Dr Campbell escorted them to room 26 for the first time.
Their reactions were mixed as they got their first glimpse of Tara since they were informed of the accident. Doris immediately burst into tears, approaching the bed and collapsing beside it. Vince went to his wife, cradling her in his arms, as tears ran down his own face. Addison stood in the doorway, her face expressionless.
"You can go closer, Mrs. Jones," Dr Campbell gently said.
Addison went closer to the bed, and hesitantly reached to touch Tara's bruised and battered face.
"Can I touch her?" she asked before making contact with Tara's skin.
"Yes, some people believe that physical contact and speaking to her can be good," Dr Campbell answered
Addison gently ran her fingers over Tara's eyebrow and down her cheek.
"Hey, babe, got yourself in a mess didn't you?"
One lonely tear rolled down Addison's face, rounding her chin and dripping onto Tara's arm.
"I love you."
At Addison's words, Dr Campbell excused herself and left the three alone in their grief.
"I'll be back a little later to answer any more questions." Dr Campbell said, as she discreetly left.
Chapter 4
At close to midday, into the ward breezed Kim Cunningham. At 5ft 4 and hair in disarray, Kimmy was Addison's best friend and agent. During the past 26 days she had kept the media at bay, as well as being at Addison's side as much as possible.
"Morning, Miss Cunningham. Go on through. Today's going to be tough for her." the Matron said.
Kimmy stopped for a quick chat.
"I have to be here for her. It's not just my job; she's my best friend. There will probably be a few visitors this afternoon, so I'll give her all the support I can." Kim turned to leave.
"Are they still turning off the machines this evening?" The matron queried.
"Yes, this will be her last day. It's all goodbyes from now on. I better be getting in."
"Could you take in her lunch? She needs to keep her strength up."
"Thanks for this. I know she appreciates it."
Kim picked up the tray and entered room 26. She knocked quietly and entered, hoping she wasn't interfering with anything. Addison was asleep in a chair beside the bed, with her head on Tara's chest. As much as Kimmy hated to disturb this scene, she wanted Addison to eat.
"Sweetie? Addy?"
Addison groggily raised her head; a small smile crept on her face at the sight of her friend.
"Hey, I see you didn't get a chance to brush your hair again."
"I thought I'd try out the bed-hair look. You don't like?" Kimmy replied while trying to flatten her hair.
"It suits you." Addison's attention returned to Tara.
"How are you?"
Addison didn't say a word, preferring to watch Tara.
"I know it's a stupid question, but I need you to be alright."
"So I can sell more books? I didn't think money was that important to you," Addison said bitterly.
"You're hurting, so I'm going to let that one go. You know that's not true."
Kimmy walked over and squatted beside Addison. She reached up, and turned Addison's face, so their eyes met.
"You have so many people who need you. You don't have to be strong, but you have to survive."
Addison remained silent, jerking her head away from Jimmy's touch.
Kimmy sighed, "Can you at least eat for me? The staff prepared this fine meal. Ooh, and there's custard!"
"Ok," Addison agreed a lot quicker than Kimmy thought she would. Between mouthfuls, Addison would look to Kimmy, a question in her eyes, but never asking.
"You can ask me anything, Addy."
Addison swallowed what was in her mouth and replied, "Do people really have to visit this afternoon. It makes it so final. Saying goodbyes."
"You weren't the only one to love her, or who needs to say goodbye. She meant a lot, to a lot of people. You can't deny them their farewells."
They sat in silence, one on either side of Tara's bed. Nothing was being said, but a lot was being thought.
Dr Campbell returned to 26, to find all three in silence. Doris held Tara's hand, Addison cupped her cheek, and Vince had his hand on an exposed ankle.
"Sorry to interrupt," Dr Campbell said, "I've come to talk to you about Tara's condition, and to answer any questions you may have."
"Is she just sleeping?" Vince asked first
"As I explained earlier, there was damage to the head, which has put her in a coma. This is when a person is totally unresponsive to sensory stimuli for an extended period, while during sleep the brain is active and oxygen consumption resembles that of a waking state. Coma is not a deep sleep."
"What are her chances of waking up?" Doris interjected.
"In most cases, we can only guess, but her chances are very slim."
"Can't you do anything?"
"When the brain suffers irreparable damage such as in this case, irreversible coma occurs, even though life-support measures may restore vitality to other organs of the body. The result is brain-death, where a dead brain is in an otherwise living body. All we can do is keep her as comfortable as possible, until life-support is switched off."
There was a pause as everyone took in the importance of these words.
"As her physician, I have to determine whether she is alive or dead, because life-support can be removed only after death. Mrs. Jones, as Tara's power of attorney, the final decision to turn off life support is yours."
"Making me her killer."
"NO," Doris said, her voice raised, "The man driving the car that hit her is responsible for her death. You are in charge of not prolonging what she would have hated."
Addison knew that Tara would never have wanted to be on any machines. That didn't make it hurt any less.
"Not right away though, right?" Addison questioned.
"In coma cases, we like to give the patient time to see if there is any improvement. Declaring someone legally brain-dead is not something we rush into."
"I'll need time to say goodbye first. I need her to know that she's not alone."
Doris laid a tender hand on Addison's and said, "Since she met you as a 5 year old, she's never been alone. You made her feel special and loved. There has never been a day where she felt otherwise."
Chapter 5
The first of many visitors that afternoon came at 2-03 pm, in the form of Tara's boss.
"Hello Addison." Larry popped his head in the door, "I hope you don't mind me dropping in."
"That's fine, Larry, "Addison offered with a smile, "she'd be glad to know you're here."
Larry walked closer to the bed as he nervously fingered the hat in his hands. He was normally an outgoing man, who employees adored. He left no question about who was in charge, but allowed the freedom to evolve. For once he was lost for words. He opened his mouth a few times, but no words came out. He knelt beside the bed, silent tears running down his face.
Addison watched this, feelings detached. She had trouble understanding how this man cried for Tara, when she had yet to shed any tears.
"She looks so peaceful," Larry finally said.
Addison stood back to allow Larry his goodbyes.
Larry talked directly to Tara.
"There are a lot of people who are going to miss you. Staff meetings are going to be really bland without your bad jokes. How are we going to get through the day without our hit of Tara humour? Guess we'll have to stick to coffee."
Larry sniffed before continuing.
"By the way. That story you did on same-sex marriage a couple of months ago has been nominated for the Abby J. Carter prize for outstanding journalism. I think you're in with a good chance."
He paused, needing to think about what to say next.
"I'm not really sure how to say this. I never thought I'd have to say goodbye like this."
At the word "goodbye", Addison took another step back so her body pressed against the wall, the pain visible on her face.
"We all love you very much. We know you will go to a beautiful place. Thank you for being in our lives. Goodbye."
At that, Larry stood again, and with one final loving smile at Tara, he turned to leave the room. First he leant close to Addison and whispered, "Look after yourself, we'll be in touch."
The room became strangely silent. Addison stood in the corner, her head bowed and her long hair hiding her face, willing the tears to stay inside.
Addison slowly raised her body from beside Tara's bed. Vince and Doris watched as she made her way to the door.
"Addy, honey, where are you going?" Doris asked
Addison turned around on auto-pilot, eyes not really focused.
"Addy, sweetie, what are you doing?"
The sound of Doris" voice finally snapped Addison out of it.
"I thought I'd give you some time alone with Tara."
"You don't need to do that, Addison. You are a part of this family too, and don't need to leave."
"Thanks, Vince. I really need some fresh air though. Give me some time to think."
"Ok. Take your time. We'll be here with her," Vince replied.
Addison smiled her thanks and left the room.
"May I ask who you are, madam?"
"I'm Kim Cunningham. I'm a friend of the couple, as well as Addison's agent."
"Hello, Ms Cunningham. We were told you would be visiting."
"You'll have to get used to me. I'm going to be here a lot."
"How did you first meet them?"
"High school," Kim said, "Ad and I were friends through school. I remember having this younger girl following us around. I knew they would get together years before they ever did. After University, Ad started writing and asked me to help. I've been her agent ever since."
Kim paused, thinking back to those earlier days. The Matron knew she hadn't finished speaking yet, and let the silence continue.
"I wish this hadn't happened to them. Not that I wish it upon anyone else, but these two belong together."
"I don't really know them, but I can see the love in Mrs. Jones" eyes."
"You'll be seeing a lot more of that. Could you tell me where Addison is now?"
"Oh, sorry. Mrs. Jones is out on the balcony of the sun lounge. And Tara's parents are in the room with her at the moment."
"I might see them quickly before I see Ad. It was nice meeting you. I'll see you later."
Kim veered to the right and opened the door to room 26. She only meant to poke her head in and offer her sympathies, but as soon as the Bensons saw her, they stood to greet her.
They opened their arms to her, letting her cry.
"I'm so sorry."
"What for, sweetie?" Doris patted her back reassuringly.
"To cry on you like this. You don't need some crying girl to comfort."
"It's OK. We know we aren't the only ones who will cry for her," Vince said. "I only wish Addison would let her pain out."
"How is she coping?"
"Not very well. She's trying to be strong through all this. She hasn't cried or released her feelings, except trying to strangle a doctor."
Kim chuckled, "That sounds a little like Addy. Will you guys be OK if I go to Ad now?"
"We'll be fine, we have each other. Addison needs you."
Kim wiped away her tears and weakly smiled, "I'll go to her then. Be strong."
Kim walked out of the room, and with a quick smile at the matron, she headed to the sun lounge and peered in.
"Hey champ," she greeted Addison as she entered.
Addison turned her head in slight acknowledgement, but said nothing as she continued to smoke a cigarette.
"I didn't know you smoked." Kim now stood beside her. "They aren't healthy for you."
Addison took a final puff, before flicking the stub over the railing, and watched it fall to the car park below.
"And littering too. This is unlike you."
"Tara lying in a coma is unlike her too," Addison retorted.
"Maybe you were both taken over by pod people."
An awkward pause descended on the two.
"I'm sorry, Ad. That was foolish of me. I'm really sorry. I never should have said that."
The silence continued, only to be broken by a soft chuckle emanating from Addison.
"Thank you," Addison said.
Kim was confused, "For what?"
"For making me smile again... and for being here."
"Of course I'm here."
The two women hugged each other.
"We should go back inside." Addison left the embrace to walk inside.
"Wait." Kim rummaged in her extraordinarily large handbag. "Tara would hate you smelling like cigarettes."
Kim pulled out a bottle of perfume and sprayed it all over Addison.
"Hey! Not too much. I don't think she'd want me smelling like you either." Addison said as she tried to pull away.
"Are you saying I smell bad?"
Addison chuckled as they walked inside together, arms linked.
Chapter 6
Addison flopped exhausted back into her chair
"How many more people are going to visit?"
"I don't think that are doing it to annoy you," Kim replied.
"Unless you really pissed some higher power off," she added as an afterthought.
"I don't recall if I did." Addison chuckled.
Kim walked over to the door, but before opening it asked, "I'm not sure if you remember her, but Alison McLeay from high school is here. She was in Tara's grade."
A frown came over Addison's face as she remembered the woman in question.
"She was one of Tara's friends at school. She kept telling her to stay away from me. Why is she here?"
"She saw Tara the day of the accident and says she needs to say goodbye and stuff."
Kim finally opened the door and let the anxiously waiting woman into the room.
Allison stood in the door, and made no move to approach the bed. She just looked at the figure in the bed and remembered her from the last time she saw her.
"Are you going to say anything, Alison? Or just stand there staring?" Addison asked icily.
Instead of walking directly to the bed, Alison moved toward Addison.
"I wanted to talk to you actually. I saw Tara that day? Of the accident? At the shop." Alison paused before continuing, "I wasn't very nice. I wanted to apologise to you and her about what happened."
"What did you do?" Addison inquired.
"She told me about the two of you. I didn't like it. I wasn't very accommodating of her? lifestyle choices."
"Oh."
Kim watched all this from afar. Wondering how it was going to end.
"And are you sorry?" Addison asked.
"I'm not going to pretend that I understand. Or even like it. But she didn't deserve me treating her like that. If I had been nice, she would have stayed talking longer and she wouldn't have been hit by the car."
"
"Thank you. Could I talk to her?"
"Go ahead."
Before Alison walked away, she turned to Addison and offered her condolences. Then without another word she quickly left, leaving Kim and Addison in silence.
"That was different," Kim said
"Notice how she never apologised for the way she treated me in high school. That would have been nice too," Addison said, slightly put out, but a smile on her face.
"You can't have everything, sweetie."
Addison looked down at Tara.
"I wish I could."
Kim and Addison entered the room, their arms still linked. Vince and Doris looked up at the approaching footsteps, glad that Kim had arrived to be a comfort to Addison's tortured soul.
Addison quickly took the remaining chair beside the bed, while Kim stayed standing behind her.
"I bought some of the stuff you wanted," Kim said, producing a variety of photos in frames from her handbag. "Where would you like these?"
Kim started placing pictures of Addison and Tara on the right side table, next to the bunch of roses. She did this in silence until Addison interjected.
"Not there. She sleeps on the left side of the bed. The photos should be on her left."
Addison gathered the photos in her arms, and transferred to the other side of the bed. She placed a photo of her and Tara at the beach, at the front. The picture showed younger versions of both Tara and Addison beside a sandcastle they had built. Instead of sitting sedately beside their achievement, 19 year old Addison was stuffing sand down the front of Tara's swimsuit.
"She told me that this was the day she first realised she loved me."
Everyone in the room looked at the picture of the two happy girls, and each recalled the happy times they had shared together.
Chapter 7
Addison was left alone to say her goodbyes to Tara.
Taking off her shoes, she slipped onto the bed and took Tara into her arms, careful not to bump any of the numerous tubes. Her left hand gently stroked the blonde hair that had fallen over her eyes, and her right arm snaked around Tara's waist, holding her as tight as she could. Laying there in silence was all that Addison needed, to show Tara her love.
This was the scene the others found when they reentered the room a little later.
Vince, Doris, Kim and Dr Campbell came in, not wanting to disturb the scene that awaited them.
"Mrs. Jones? Addison?" Dr Campbell inquired gently, "It's time."
Addison slowly extricated her body from Tara's and stayed standing beside the bed, still holding her hand. Addison's blue eyes looked trustingly into Dr Campbell's warm brown ones, glistening with tears.
"I won't hurt her," the Doctor pointed out in an effort to lessen the hurt.
Addison nodded her head in acceptance and gave a weak smile.
Vince and Doris gathered on the right side of their daughter, while Kim stood behind Addison on the left.
"Is there anything else you want to say?" The doctor asked one final time.
"We love you, sweetie," Doris said placing her free hand on Tara's forehead, and leaving a kiss on her cheek.
Addison knew the inevitable was about to happen.
Dr Campbell slowly pulled the breathing tube from Tara's throat. Her body gave one last sigh, and her chest ceased its upward motion.
The sun chose that moment to fully set.
"Time of death 18:26."
Addison let go of Tara's hand and was pulled back into a strong, comforting embrace from Kim. She stayed in Kim's arms for a few seconds before breaking free.
"No." Addison took a final look at Tara's peaceful face, before stalking out of the room.
"No."
Vince and Doris sobbed openly at the loss of their daughter. They would stay in the room as long as Tara's body remained there.
Kim couldn't contain the tears either. A part of her felt she should follow Addison, while another told her that she would be turned away. She would do her best to comfort the Bensons, but hoped that Addison would turn to someone she trusted, and allow herself to feel.
"Happy birthday, baby."
Addison stood in front of Tara's grave. She couldn't take her eyes off the intricate headstone that marked the site. The truly stunning sculpture of an angel had an attention to detail that literally took Addison's breath away. Everything was covered, including the young woman's full name, her birthday, the date of her death and the simple phrase, "Loved by many."
Several bunches of red roses which had been carefully placed in a carved, crystal holder next to the stone, gave it a loved looked.
"I borrowed your jacket. I hope you don't mind. It was the warmest thing I could find."
She shoved her hands deep in the pockets of the jacket.
"It makes me think of you."
She wiggled her fingers in the warm material, trying to keep out the cold chill. Her hand brushed against a piece of paper, crunched up against the bottom lining of the pocket. She slowly withdrew her hand, afraid of what she'd find. Crinkled between the fingers of her right hand, was a piece of paper, slightly yellow around the edges.
Addison slowly unfolded it, hands shaking, as her eyes scanned over it. She knew without reading very far, what this was. The words forever etched in her mind. One line jumped out at her.
Forever isn't long enough to love you.
Addison fell to her knees beside the grave, palms pressed against the ground, as she tried to control the tears. Slowly her breathing returned to normal, while tears still tracked down her face.
"I loved you, Tara, from the first moment I saw you. It was your first day of school and you looked so alone. I knew I had to have you as a friend. Thank you for letting me be your friend. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life."
Addison wiped her tear-stained face with her hand, leaving streaks of dirt behind.
"You taught me so much. You taught me to love. I will love you regardless of what has happened and always will. You are simply what life is all about."
She dug up some weeds that had grown up around the grave and tossed them to the side. Before she stood again, her arm reached out to the stone, and her fingers traced the path of Tara's name.
"Thank you for making me a better person."
She made a quick sign of the cross and took a couple of steps backward.
"I love you."
Addison spun on her heel and quickly walked away, her tears flowing freely. Her grieving had only just begun.
Epilogue
"Happy birthday, baby."
Addison stood in front of Tara's grave, her long brown hair with a hint of grey on the edges, blowing in the breeze.
"Just came to say hi again. Let you know I still think about you. Fill you in on what's going on in my life." Addison said, "Toby turned 20 recently. He's hoping to finish his accounting degree at the end of this year. That's if he buckles down and studies, instead of spending so much time with his girlfriend. I know that sounds hypocritical considering I nearly failed Uni spending so much time with you. I'm beginning to sound like your mother."
A smaller figure walked up behind Addison and slipped her hands around Addison's waist, standing on her tiptoes to rest her chin on Addison's shoulder.
"Sweetie? Just wanted to make sure you weren't cold or anything," Sally said.
"I'm fine, thanks. I won't be here much longer."
"I'll go wait in the car with Toby. Don't be too long." Sally stretched up to kiss Addison and turned to walk away.
"I'm sorry," Addison called after her.
Sally stopped in her tracks, unsure of what the apology is for.
"It doesn't seem fair that I'm still grieving for someone from my past when I love you and should be focused on just you." Addison paused before continuing. "I can't stop loving her."
Sally knew that Addison needed her right now and made her way back over to where she stood, laying a comforting hand on her arm.
"I don't want you to stop loving her. She is a part of you. And a part of you will always love her. She's your past and hopefully I am your future. I understand that. When you love someone as much as you loved Tara, you don't forget about them or stop loving them. I wouldn't ever want you to forget the love you shared."
"What did I do to deserve you?" Addison asked, silent tears coursing down her face.
"I ask myself that everyday too," Sally replied
They stood together, their arms around each other's waist just taking in their surroundings.
"Does it still hurt?" Sally asked, her voice sounding lost in the breeze.
"It will always hurt, Sal, but some days are easier than others." Addison's fingers strayed over the woman's cheek again without her even thinking about it. "I love you."
Addison bent down and dug up some weeds that were growing around the grave and tossed them to the side. Before standing again, her arm reached out to the stone, and her fingers traced the path of Tara's name.
"Let's go get Toby and go out to lunch. My shout."
Addison gave a final look at Tara's grave before walking back to the car, hand in hand with Sally.
"I'll see you next year," she said.