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To Touch
The passion ignites
And blazes with the need
To feel, to taste her lips
A lingering kiss
That leaves you stunned at your actions
But the desire for more still rages
Amazed you return to the well
For another drink
But this time not to kiss
For your hands long to touch
They ache, they tremble to touch
Her soft naked flesh
The desire is so strong now
You drink in her body
The hunger has taken control
For it must be quenched
Satiate the need
To touch and be touched
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Wish
I wish I could touch your heart
Like my words do
I wish I could caress you
Like my words do
I wish my body could touch you
Like my words do
I wish I could arouse you
Like my words do
I wish I could stay with you
Like my words do
I wish I could captivate you
Like my words do
I wish my fingers could penetrate you
Like my words do
I wish I could feel your eyes caress me
Like my words do
I wish I could feel your hands upon me
Like my words do
I wish I could make love to you
Like my words do
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adventure
You are my adventure
Your mind, your body
I'd love to explore
All your hills and valleys
I want to be the explorer
Of all the treasures you keep
I want to discover
Your uncharted terrain
Swim in your rivers
Ride your waves
Drink from your waters
Run naked through your forests
Climb to the top of your peaks
All this and more
Await my discovery
I'm ready for the challenge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Offerings
I'm sorry darling
I have no love letter or poem
To give you today
Here I stand before you
With only myself as an offering
I'd give you my heart
My mind, my body, my soul
All I would surrender to you
To your touch, to your kiss
To your control
Have your way with me
Chain me up, tie me down
Take me any way you want
Just take me
My only fear is that you
Won't take what I offer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Cry for That
I have cried for you so many times
I can only imagine that you have done the same
I cry for that
You know how much I love you
I cry for that
You know how much I want you
I cry for that
You know you'll never have me
I cry for that
I know I will never have you
I cry for that
I know I have never loved anyone like this
I cry for that
I will never love like this again
I cry for that
I feel you pulling away from me
I cry for that
I feel your heart breaking
I cry for that
I can not break her heart
I cry for that
So instead I break mine
I cry for that
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Knife
I'm not naive nor would I even deny
Any of the pain that I've felt
From the beginning with you.
The image of a knife in my chest
Came to me today,
You are the knife.
You are the foreign object
Lodged deep in my chest
Through my ribs into my heart,
Into my life as well.
The mystery is that even
With this blade in my chest
My heart keeps beating,
My life goes on.
With the passage of time
My body has become
Attached to the knife,
It has become part of me.
The initial penetrating pain
Has long since passed.
But now with your distance
Comes the painful realization
That you want out.
As if you are trying to
Remove the knife from my chest,
Causing far more pain
Than when I was first stabbed.
My body has become accustomed to the knife
And doesn't want it removed;
Out of fear, fear of the pain,
Fear of bleeding to death,
Fear of a gaping hole in my heart.
Your words are stinging arrows
Piercing my skin
Which only intensifies the pain.
But I can not stop you
From doing what you feel you must,
No matter how much pain
It may cause now.
So go, do what you must.
I will survive.
Pull the knife from my chest.
Pull the arrows from my flesh;
Let me bleed, let me cry,
Let me feel the pain.
For it will take much more
Than these mere wounds to kill me.
For I will not let me die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Shirt
this shirt is a flannel hombre, a gift from my mother
it reminds me of her father, my grandfather
who wears plaids like this shirt
I can still recall his scent and the roughness of his hands
the strength of his arms when he'd wrap them around me
and I'd bury my face in his shirt
I remember his smile and the sound of his laughter
when he'd hold on to my fingers with a grip so tight
and the more I'd wiggle the tighter his grip became
but when I'd stop trying to get away
he'd relax allowing me to escape
I loved listening to his voice
I love him, and this shirt
thinking of him, always makes me think of the island
where I spent so many summer vacations
playing with my Barbie dolls and her camper on the beach
diving for clams with the boys
floating down shore in innertubes
sitting alone in an innertube
at the end of the dock watching the sunset
and watching the clouds that looked like waves in the sky
going fishing, just grampa, daddy and me in an old boat house
where I proudly caught more fish
than they did when they took the boys out
earlier that day and had left me behind
going for rides in grampa's boat, feeling the wind on my face
exploring at the rock quarry
riding their old bikes up and down the dirt road
watching the ships as they passed, listening their fog horns
and his apple pancakes recipe has now become my specialty
the island holds very fond childhood memories for me
funny where just a flannel shirt can take you
all these feelings and memories
come alive whenever I wear
this shirt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wind Dancer
you flew into my life
like a feather carried
on the wind
dancing your way
into my heart
or are you the leaf
suspended by
a spiders web
dancing in the wind
am I the web
holding you here
and just how long
you decide to stay
is really up to you
or does it depend more
on the will of the wind
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Dam
Ironic this choice of a dam
In my search to photograph my emotions
I found an image of myself
Staring back at me
For I am a dam
Through the years I built my stone wall
Built it high, built it strong
To keep intruders out, to protect myself
I never realized
By keeping things out
I was also keeping things in
I had dammed up my emotions
Where they stay
Until pressure causes them to rise
When they rise high enough
Shear force leads them to spill over the dam
I can feel it when they start to rise
I make a futile attempt to hold them back
But I have no control, anymore then the dam
Can stop the rising water from spilling over its stone wall
How much easier would it be
If I were a river flowing free
Never having to be on guard
Or trying to hold anything back
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Walk
we took a walk
an intimate one
along an old dirt road
lined with large green trees
and a few pines
as we walked
we stepped in and out
of shadows and the sun light
that streamed through
the leaves on the trees
up ahead a thin pine tree
bent over the road
evidence of a harsh winter
off in the distant clearing
beyond the coolness of the shade
the mid-day sun shone
brightly on some trees
that had started
to turn orange and yellow
and past them
there is a mountain
a hazy shade of blue
and as we walked on
we talked
you reached out
taking my hand
touching my heart
and I thanked you
for being there with me
god, how I'd love
to have that print
on the wall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's the Light
I drive home by the light of a full moon
As the golden rays fill the car
I glance over in its direction
And see a newly mown field of hay
At that moment I realize it's the light that I love
In my photography it's the light
That I try to capture on film
The black, the white, the shadows, the light
I recall a compliment "you work well with light"
In my fondest memories it's the light
That touches my heart
Morning light shining through a window
Softly illuminates her face and one white tipped paw
Candlelight that makes the bedroom glow
Moonlight through the blinds
Sunlight through the pines at Pilot
Firelight flickers on the bottom of leaves on the trees
The soft pastel clouds of a sunset
Reflected on the calm surface of the lake
And the northern lights dance over the island
Sunlight on your hair
The light in your eyes
The light of your smile
So it is with you too, my dear
I love the light that shines on you
And from you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And still she cries
I lie here, my back on the ground
hands behind my head
one knee up, the other one crossed
contemplating how fast
the mood of the evening changed
I stare at the black sky above me
and at the leaves on the tree to my left
in the breeze not all the branches move
only a few gently shake and vibrate
like a woman's body when she cries
it was not my fight
they have known each other
for many years, much longer
than they have known me
this was between them
crying drunks, I think not
but the result of feelings
held in check for much too long
I felt her heart breaking
it hurt me to watch
it hurt me to listen
it hurt me to feel her pain
I could not handle
the depth of her pain
I had to walk away
and for that I am sorry
I put my arms around her
to hold her, to comfort her
but still she cries
I can not help her
I can offer no more than
what I already have
and still she cries
9/18/99 cmt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Softness
I sat on a bus next to the window
An arm stretched out low cross my body
Was the gesture one of protection or possession
I wasn't sure just which
I looked up the length of the arm
And found the owner to be an attractive woman
With short dark hair and light skin sitting close to me
Much too close for someone that I didn't know
Very well dressed in soft colors
A powder pink sweater
White tee shirt and pale blue jeans
I leaned into the nape of her neck
Felt the softness of her sweater on my face
I inhaled the delicately soft scent of lemons
The words "oh you smell so good"
Softly escaped from my lips
As the scent went straight to my head
I longed to touch her
With the back of my fingers I brushed a cheek
Then the other one with the inside of my hand
And felt the softness of her skin
My eyes watched every movement of my hand
I ached to kiss those lips
As my thumb ran back and forth over them
To which she softly whispered "please stop"
Which I did, just not right away
I moved my hand down between us
And held her bicep but to my surprise
It wasn't her arm that I held it was a breast
I caressed the softness of her and the sweater
My skin begged for contact flesh on flesh
So I pressed my cheek to hers
I softly moaned as I felt the warmth of her skin on mine
The desire to taste her lips became unbearable
My mouth hungrily sought hers
Finally we kissed, I felt her tongue
At that very moment I woke
No not again, it was real, I was so sure
My senses were so live with her
She was touch, smell, sight, taste and sound
It felt real but it wasn't
It was only a dream, an illusion
If I can't trust my own senses
Then what can I trust
The softness of her
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Release
Sometimes I cry
With painstaking slowness
I open my clinched fist
The muscles thimble and shake
As I struggle to release my grip
A grip held so tightly for so long
A grip held on the false sense of control
Control of everything around me
As if I could truly control anything
Your feelings, my feelings,
You, me, our love, my passion, my desires
Sometimes I cry
With agonizing slowness
I open my heart and mind to the truth
As I watch us slowly release
Each other from the past
From the pain, from the guilt
From the promises and from ourselves
Releasing each other to the freedom
We both so desperately seek
The freedom to fly, to live, to love
To be simply who we need to be
Who we truly are
Sometimes I cry
The Athenaeum's Scroll Archive