~ My Lover, The Sea, My Love, My Life… ~
by S. Anne Gardner
I walk along the shore and the water comes to meet me; its welcoming coolness covers my feet only to recess and leave me yearning. Yearning for more of you.
Longing… all I know is longing.
You are all around me… in the sea whose salty fragrance seems to fill the empty caverns of my soul.
My hair blows wildly around me. Its mass rebellious, blowing...showing outwardly the inner chaos within me… the torment of loving and being loved by you.
I look for you in the distance and whisper your name…and at the response I feel you with me.
You are everywhere, filling me, surrounding me, seducing me, making me want you and dreaming you in every aspect of my life...because you have become my life.
Here by the ocean is where I am closest to you. Here I am at home and the need inside me for you grows and multiplies until the only thought is that of you….you, and only you.
The ocean, I feel the kindness it gifts me with…the kindness you gift me with…
Its wind, from it are your arms, around me, holding me, loving me, wanting me, caressing me, touching me….pulling me closer and closer… until we are but one and I am no longer afraid.
Its salt, on my lips are your lips…your lips bring to life my passion and desire to be yours forever… your lips who taunt me… your lips who incite and give rise to my feverish ardent desire… passion…your lips who know the secrets of my body claim me again and again.
Its vastness, sightless oblivion, I only hesitate a mere second before I dive into its deep dark waters and I am surrounded and filled by you.…no thought, no control, no will… I am devoid of the desire to fight you and I surrender because to be yours is the reason I exist.
As the sun hisses and dives within the ocean's deepest recesses every night so does my body crave and burn at your touch, and I swim deeper. I, like the sun, know that I will know annihilation, but, I dive into you, the ocean, nonetheless. I surrender and offer you my heart.
Longing,… such longing. Always and forever such longing….
If I dive deeper I will finally find you. And, I will no longer have to search for you.
If I dive deeper I will always be with you. And, I will finally be one with you.
If I dive deeper and never come up again for the breath of life; I will finally know death and find peace with you forever. Finally and forever… I will have a life with you. My Lover, The Sea, My love, My life…