Sequel disclaimer: This is the sequel to All the Way to Heaven: Or Lesbian Parlor Games and all disclaimers in that probably still apply and you should definitely read it first. Otherwise, this won't make a bit of sense. It might not anyway, but then it's my fault.
Additional not-mine disclaimer: The first part of the title is a Melissa Etheridge song from her CD "Yes I Am." It's not one of my favorite songs, but I like the title.
Thanks: Thanks to my best friend for getting me the CD that I listened to repeatedly while writing (it was the Indigo Girls' latest, "Becoming You", go figure. I usually write better to Melissa.) It inspired me to try writing again. And thanks to all my friends on my list and off who tried to find my muse for me and thank you whoever paid for the Rent-A-Muse... can I keep her?
Feedback: Please do - sberrythebard@yahoo.com. If you wanna join my list, the addy's www.groups.yahoo.com/group/SBerrysStories.
Copyright © 2004 by S. Berry. All Rights Reserved.
I stare at the contents of my closet, wondering what to wear tonight. I want KC to think I'm beautiful and sexy, but I want her parents to think I'm steady and responsible; good enough to date their daughter. I don't have anything that says anything like that. Maybe khakis and a silk shirt? They look good on me, but aren't revealing or anything. I look at my watch. I'd better just get dressed and get going... I don't want to be late. I waited too long to get ready for fear I'd show up too early -- and girls don't like that. I dress and pull on my overly polished boots. (I had to do something to kill time, but I think two hours was overdoing it a little.) I checked myself over -- all buttons buttoned, zipper zipped, belt buckled, boots tied. I splashed on some cologne and taking one last look, went downstairs to pick up my Kathryn for our first date.
I can't believe I threw up on her. I shouldn't have had anything to drink; my stomach doesn't like alcohol. I can't believe she's still going out with me. Or that she kissed me after we brushed our teeth and showered . The party ended pretty quickly after that. I waited with her until her mom showed up. She let me kiss her again on the James' porch swing. God, I could kiss her forever. Her lips are so soft and smooth and warm. I never knew lips could be so soft or that kissing could be so addictive. I wonder if this is normal -- this need to hold and kiss her forever.
I'm so nervous about tonight. I'm pretty sure I can't just take her home and kiss her all night. For one, she probably wouldn't wanna. Two, it's probably not something a good date would suggest, let alone do. I don't want her to think I only like her because she lets me kiss her. I liked her plenty before she even talked to me. I probably should do less kissing and more charming. Girls like to be charmed, right? Or maybe I should just be me -- surely that'd be good enough, right?
*****
I pulled into her driveway, suddenly wondering if I should have taken the car instead of my bike. God, parents don't like motorcycles! What was I thinking?! Well, too late now.
I walk up to the door and knock. A man answers. A very big man, a few inches taller than me and about a hundred pounds heavier, all muscle. He just stares at me, not smiling.
Nervously, I stammer, "Is Kathryn here?" Oh shit, is this her dad? He doesn't look old enough. Older brother maybe?
"Who wants to know?" Still no smile.
I forget my name for a second. Who am I again? Oh yeah -- "Tiffany Robinson, Kathryn's date?" I hated the way my voice rose, making the statement a question. I can face down a motorcycle gang without a flinch, but give me a girl or a girl's family and I fold like a cheap umbrella.
He nodded and opened the door, motioning me in. "Come in and let's get acquainted before I decide if you can take my sister out."
Oh, shit, he's her big brother -- I don't know that brothers are worse than dads. They have more up-to-date grilling techniques and they're been on the other end more recently. And if there's no dad, then they feel even more responsible for their sisters. Or so Mom says, and she'd know. I swallowed and entered to face the inquisition.
He sat me down on the couch and sat in a recliner facing me. At least he didn't have a wooden chair and a spot light. "What do you do?" he asked without preamble.
"I work in my mother's garage after classes and most weekends and vacations."
"Garage? As a mechanic?" He almost smiled at that.
"Yes, sir." Maybe I'll get through this after all.
"What are your plans for the future?" Or maybe not.
"Well, I haven't quite decided. I'm double majoring in prelaw and history, and minoring in education."
He looked impressed at that. "So you don't intend to be a mechanic all your life?"
"No, sir. I love working on cars and cycles and will probably always work on them in my spare time. It's not really a bad living, but I want something more for my family, when I have one."
"What are your intentions toward my sister?"
Oh boy -- what are my intentions? "It's a little early yet, but I'm hoping that someday she'll be the one that I start that family with. Only time and lots of dates will tell."
"Lots of dates? You cheat on my sister and I'll kill you." It wasn't an idle threat.
"I meant several dates with her, not different people all at the same time," I hastened to explain. Though it was heartening to think he'd actually let me date her.
"Good, my sister deserves better than that. Just a few more questions. Do you go to church?"
"No, sir, I'm afraid I don't."
"Would you stop my sister going?"
"No, sir."
"Do you smoke, drink, do drugs, or gamble?"
"I drink only very occasionally, unless you count nonalcoholic beer. I have a few of them and a couple of cigars at the weekly poker games my friends have. We use poker chips or buttons, never money. Other than that, I don't smoke or gamble. I don't do drugs, never wanted to."
Before he could ask anything else, Kathryn and an older woman who looked a lot like her came in the room and looked at him. "So, did she pass the Inquisition?" the older woman asked.
"Yep," Kathryn's brother answered, finally smiling. He held out his hand and shook mine. "Hello, sorry about that, gotta keep the freaks and the womanizers away from my sis. I'm KC and this is my mother, KC, and of course you already know KC." It must've been long practice that allowed him to say that straight faced.
I couldn't help chuckling. "Dinner must be so confusing around here. 'Pass the salt, KC. No, the other one. The one sitting in front of the salt shaker.'"
The Caseys' laughed. "You picked a keeper, Katie," Mrs. Casey said, coming over to sit beside her son in another recliner.
Kathryn and I both blushed. Kathryn came over finally and sat beside me, leaning up and over to place a kiss on my cheek. "Sorry about the third degree; Kevin insisted, and you know how much blackmail material brothers have, even if most of it's made up."
"Um, actually, I'm an only child. My birth mother died having me, and Mom wasn't fond enough of turkey basters to have any kids."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were adopted," Kathryn apologized.
"I'm not, exactly. Mom's really my aunt, no one else would take me. There's another sister, but her husband was in a bad car accident trying to get my birth mother to the hospital, so she was too busy with his rehabilitation to take me in, so that left Mom. She just never got around to filing the papers. It didn't seem to make any difference."
I looked at my watch. "We should be getting going, if we're going to see the movie."
Kathryn looked at her watch and her eyes widened. "I didn't realize it was that late. Let's go."
I grinned sheepishly. "You'd better grab your jacket. I brought my bike without thinking and it gets pretty cool at night."
"You brought your bike? Oh wow, I've always wanted to ride one. It'll just take a sec to get my jacket." She dashed off excitedly.
I grinned in relief, watching her go. I hadn't screwed up after all.
She came back carrying a fleece lined jean jacket, which she handed to me causally, apparently expecting me to help her put it on. I did so, all the while, grinning at her excited chatter. I'd never seen her talk so much. Kevin and her mom looked surprised too. They followed us out to my bike. I helped Kathryn with her helmet, then slipped mine on. I climbed on and held out my hand to help her on behind me. As she was getting settled, I realized I didn't know her curfew.
"What time do you want her back, Mrs. Casey, Kevin?"
They looked at each other and then smiled at me. "Whenever you want to bring her back, just call if it's later than midnight. And you're welcome to come in to talk awhile before you go home. I know it always takes awhile to say goodnight and you don't have to do it in the cold."
I smiled with pride. I was being trusted not to take advantage of the precious girl holding my waist. "Thank you. I imagine even if we watched both showings and went out for a snack, we should be back by one at the latest. But I'll make sure one of us call if it'll be after midnight."
Mrs. Casey nodded and said, "You'd better get going. Have fun."
We said bye and we were off. Riding my bike is one of my favorite things, but riding with KC snuggled close was fantastic. Breathing when KC is around is fantastic, but that's beside the point.
We were only five minutes late, and the previews are always long as hell, so we didn't miss any of the movie. We almost got into a fight over who'd pay for the tickets and snacks. She tried to pay, but I very firmly said no; I asked her, I paid. She said that she could pay her own way. I said I'd let her know when I couldn't afford a date, but until, I'd pay. She gave in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I blushed, surprised she'd be so bold in public on our first date. Well, our first real date. Last night only kinda counted.
We sat in the back, me on the outside, which is the most comfortable place for my long legs. I boldly slipped my arm around her right from the start. I was pretty confident that it'd be okay since she'd kissed me twice already. She moved a little closer and patted the hand I had dangling off her shoulder, letting me know she liked it, then went back to watching the movie.
The movie was good, and I actually paid attention to the first half. I glanced at her periodically and smiled at her. Halfway through, I had to get up to her another soda. She said she'd get it herself, but I insisted. I'm not about to let chivalry die. It makes her smile.
After I got new sodas and sat down, she leaned into me and whispered shyly, "Wanna make out?"
After almost dropping both, I eagerly said yes. I wasn't gonna ask on the first date, but if she was gonna offer, I'm not crazy enough to say no. I wasn't quite sure how one made out in the movies, but after some fumbling, I sat her on my lap, hoping no one noticed, and bent and awkwardly began kissing her. I was feeling so clumsy and kinda shy. We hadn't kissed that much yet and yes, it felt really good, but I still wasn't very good at it. She wasn't complaining, but I still didn't feel good enough for her.
Soon, I stopped thinking and just kissed her. I tried to keep them light, but feelings built up inside and my kisses became more eager. She was kissing me back, first just slightly less awkwardly than me, then she kissed me just as eagerly. She tangled her hands in my hair, keeping my mouth on hers. I pulled away, panting, needing to breathe and calm my racing heart. She didn't want me to stop, which gave me a thrill of pride. She rested her head against my chest.
"Your heart's racing just like mine," sounding surprised.
"Feels so good, I can't help it."
"I didn't know kissing was like this."
"I didn't either. I didn't know that someone could almost lose control from just kissing. I don't know if I can kiss you any more without touching," I confessed, embarrassed. I was surprised we were able to talk without being shushed or getting glared at, but no one was paying us any mind. I guess our whispers didn't carry the 5 rows to the closest people.
"It's okay to touch a little. I don't wanna stop. Can I touch you a little, too?"
I gathered the tatters of my control and said yes, then began giving her more gentle kisses. I knew I'd feel guilty for going so far so fast later, but I couldn't say no. Could you? She kissed me back, a little more eagerly than I wanted to get so soon, afraid I'd lose control and touch her too much. But too soon, I couldn't help it and one hand was shyly exploring her back and she was running her hands up and down my back, pressing me closer to her and she was kissing me so deep... I didn't know what to call the feelings I had. I just knew I needed *something*; touching her back wasn't enough. My hand shyly slipped between us and just short of her breasts, I realized what I was doing. That wasn't touching 'a little'. I moved my hands to her waist and pulled back from the kiss. Everything was too intense; it was too soon; I wasn't ready. I hugged her tight, then I picked her up off my lap and put her in her chair. Squeezing her hand, I got up and went to the ladies' to splash some cold water on my face. I just couldn't take any more of her invitations. I didn't know if I could resist going even further. And I didn't want to do anything to ruin what could be a wonderful relationship. Why didn't anyone tell me how quickly hormones got out of control? I'd have been more careful. I shouldn't have let things go so far as it was. Shouldn't have left like that either. She's probably sitting there thinking she did something wrong instead of me simply being weak. Gonna have to apologize -- but no kisses this time! Mind made up, I went back to my girl.
*****
She was sitting where I left her, looking small and alone. Damn, why do I have to mess everything up? "I'm so sorry, Kathryn... I lost control and I was afraid I'd go way too far. I just had to go give myself a good soaking and a good talking to."
She looked relieved. "I was afraid you'd decided I was too easy and didn't want to spend time with me any more."
"Nope, you weren't being easy... just affectionate with your date. I was the only one out of line."
"You didn't do anything I didn't say you could."
Before I could say anything else, the lights came on and everyone started to leave. "C'mon, hon,... why don't we go to Dairy Queen and eat way too ice cream and cool off and we can talk tomorrow?"
She nodded, looking just as relieved. "Okay, why don't you come over for Sunday dinner, then we can talk in my room."
"Okay, now let's go have ice cream!" I relaxed. Everything was all right.
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