Copyright.  Nothing in this story is intended to infringe in any way on the copyrights of Universal Studios or Renaissance Pictures, who retain all rights to the characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and other characters and material created by them. This story is strictly non-commercial and is  intended purely for the amusement of those  who are already enthusiasts.
 

Sex. This story does depict two women in an intimate relationship, but there are no steamy sex scenes. If steamy sex scenes are your thing, there's no shortage of them in other stories. Sorry to disappoint. I'm not exactly opposed to steamy sex, but it just didn't find its way into this particular tale.
 

Violence. Wherever Xena is, violence follows. Two people are definitely killed in this story, and a third might or might not be. ( I imagine that's well below the average for a broadcast XWP episode. ) And Xena does make an unexpected death threat to an unlikely recipient. Be warned !

" And so, in a single bound, the Warrior Princess, with a feral grin, leapt over the heads of twenty of her enemies and knocked them all unconscious.... "
 

Xena cleared her throat emphatically. Gabrielle looked up from her scroll.
 

" Xena, did you want to say something ? "
 

" Gabrielle.... when you write about me like that, I find it hard to recognise myself ! I'm sorry, but I'm afraid things just don't happen as easily as you sometimes make out. I only wish they did. "
 

" Well, you have to admit that you do make it look easy... "
 

" It isn't. " She caught the look of hurt on the younger woman's face, and went on more gently: " It's not as if I don't appreciate your efforts. I do. You're a great bard and if anyone ever remembers me after I'm gone, it will be because of you. All I wanted to say was... I'm not a Goddess or even a demi-Goddess. I'm only human. Sometimes I even fail. "
 

" You want me to write about the times that you fail ? "
 

" Why not ? "
 

" If I only wrote about your failures I'd have to leave most of my scrolls empty ! "
 

Xena laughed. She should have learned by now that she could never win an argument with the Bard. She stood up, walked over to where Gabrielle was sitting, and tousled her hair.
 

" What would I do without you ? " she muttered.
 

" I don't know, but hey, don't get the idea of trying, all right ? "
 

Xena shook her head.
 

" No chance of that. Anyway, we should be moving on. It's getting late already, and we're due at the village by noon."
 

" Empedocles is expecting us for lunch ? "
 

" I said we'd meet him at the inn around midday. Today. But I doubt if lunch will be included. "
 

Gabrielle smiled a private little smile. So it was today after all.
 
 
 

One day, Xena, you're going to let me in on your plans. What did you tell me when we left Corinth ? 'Come on, Gabrielle, I've had a message from Empedocles, he wants to meet us to discuss something.' And we left. All right, you didn't really have to tell me the trivial details like where we were meeting him or when, I suppose it isn't compulsory, but it might have been nice...
 

Xena's next comment cut through her thoughts.
 

" And today is the first day of March. I thought we would just make it when we left Corinth."
 

" Is it really the first of March ? I lose track of time when we're on the road. The days just seem to run into one another. "
 

" I know what you mean. " Xena hoisted a saddlebag onto Argo's back. " And when you reach my age, you'll find the same thing happening to the years. "
 

" That means tomorrow is.... " Gabrielle blurted out, then stopped.
 

Xena looked at her. " Wanna ride or walk ? - Sorry, tomorrow is - what ? "
 

" Uh, tomorrow is... the second of March ? "
 

" I suppose so. If Cupid doesn't interfere again. But what's so important about the second of March ? "
 

" Nothing. Nothing. Just a coincidence. It was - a date in a story I was reading in Corinth, that's all. Still thinking about it. "
 

Xena nodded, but knew better than to believe her. There was obviously some significance to the date, but Gabrielle, for her own reasons, was keeping it to herself.
 

So be it. She trusted the girl's judgement, and no doubt the truth would come out in time.
 

What irritated her more was that she couldn't guess the answer. After all that they had been through, she should know Gabrielle as well as she knew herself.
 

" I'll walk. " Gabrielle announced firmly.
 

As they walked, Xena mulled over the little problem that the Bard had presented her with. The second of March ? Why did that date mean something to the girl ?
 

It wasn't the anniversary of her marriage, or of her widowhood the following day.
 

It wasn't the anniversary of the day they had met. Xena kept the memory of that event herself, and had celebrated it in her own quiet way, a few months before.
 

Their first kiss.... ? No.
 

The Battle Of Corinth ? That had really got under way with a night attack on the third, but there had been a little skirmish on the second, so some historians would claim that tomorrow was the true anniversary. And they had just come from Corinth. But Xena could not imagine the anniversary of a battle meaning anything to Gabrielle.
 

Perhaps it was a family celebration. Something to do with her parents or sister.
 

Poteideian Independence Day ?
 

Their destination proved to have all the ambience and visual appeal of a scrap dealer's yard. Most of the buildings were little more than collections of loose bits of wood held together with rope and pegs, and the space between them consisted of churned mud and stale household garbage.
 

The smell struck their nostrils immediately.
 

Gabrielle looked at the ground in distaste.
 

" You'd think they could find a way of stopping all these chickens from running around the streets. "
 

" Not many here right now. "
 

" They must let them all out at night then. "
 

She inspected the sole of her boot and scraped it against a lump of wood lying on the ground.
 

" I mean, you can't even walk without - "
 

" I know, Gabrielle. Can't be helped. Anyway: the inn is this way. "
 

" I thought you said you hadn't been here before."
 

" I haven't. I'm just following the aroma of stale beer."
 

" Mm, now you come to mention it... "
 

Perhaps it said something about the village that the inn seemed to be the largest building in the centre of town, and the only one with a second floor.
 

Gabrielle found herself surveying the tap room as they paused after entering. It was a typical village joint, constructed of mud brick and wood, with clouds of dust motes hanging in the air, most of them probably shed from the walls. "Grubby" was the word that sprang to mind. Grubby floors. Grubby furnishings. Grubbier patrons.
 

The noise level dropped several notches as the locals took in the tall leather-clad warrior woman, and the sword sticking out over her right shoulder. All eyes focussed on her, with that familiar mixture of fear, curiosity, and plain lust.
 

One day, thought Gabrielle, I might attract a bit of the fear and curiosity myself - and perhaps a bit less of the lust.
 

" Can you see Empedocles ? " she asked.
 

" Yes. That's him in the corner. Let's see what he wants to talk to us about. "
 

Empedocles was a tall lean man with an aristocratic but somewhat vague manner. He greeted the two women formally and invited them to sit at his table. He seemed, in fact, rather out of place in a grotty rural inn.
 

Xena threw herself onto her seat, leant back, and plopped her grimy boots on the table, next to Empedocles' drinking beaker.
 

" I'm sorry for dragging you here, but unfortunately I could not think of anyone else. " he began. "You see, we have a problem."
 

" I gathered that. " drawled Xena rather off-handedly, deliberately not making eye contact. Gabrielle had often thought that it was just her way of pretending not to be interested, when in fact there was nothing she enjoyed more than solving other people's problems.
 

Empedocles eyed some of the filth that Xena's boots had picked up in the gutters of the village, and moved his drinking beaker discreetly.
 

" Our problem involves - raiders. "
 

" Raiders ? "
 

" Yes, raiders. Well, a bunch of sneak thieves. Led by a man named Scabrus. They were making a nuisance of themselves in a neighbouring village, but they were driven out of there and seem to have set up a base in the forest to our east. "
 

" I see. " replied Xena. " I haven't met this Scabrus before. How many of them are there in his army ? "
 

" Oh - four or five, half a dozen perhaps. "
 

Xena let out a sound that was almost a laugh.
 

" Four or five thieves ! Do you really need us to help you handle that ? "
 

" Well, yes, we do. Most of the able bodied lads in this area are away at the wars, it's harvest time, and this isn't really a military village. I've tried, but other than me there's nobody local who can take them on. "
 

Xena rolled her eyes in exasperation.
 

" I did find one travelling warrior who's offered to help. " Empedocles went on. " But even the two of us aren't enough. "
 

" A travelling warrior, eh. You mean a mercenary ? " asked Xena.
 

" No: just a wandering helper like yourselves. I believe you know him. In fact it was his suggestion that I send for you. Ah - here he is now. "
 

Empedocles nodded towards the back door of the inn.
 

A familiar figure emerged from the doorway. His fatuous grin became even wider when he saw the two women seated at Empedocles' table, and he made straight for them, scarcely even tripping over his own two feet as he did.
 

Not that man again, thought Xena. I thought we'd left him in Thessaly. By the Gods, this is going to be worse than I thought.
 

Gabrielle gave a little smile. " Hi, Joxer. Good to see you." she said, almost as if she meant it.
 

He sat down beside her. " Oh, hi, Gabrielle." he said. "I"m really glad you could come. "
 

He looked up momentarily at Xena.
 

" You too, Xena. " Then his eyes returned to the blonde.
 

Xena made yet another attempt to overcome her visceral dislike for him. Oh, Joxer could be useful at times, and she was still grateful for some of the things he had done for her when she needed assistance... but there remained something that grated.
 

There were even moments when she found herself visualising what his severed head would look like mounted on a pole. And concluding that it would be an improvement.
 

" Oh, look. " Gabrielle said brightly. " All those people over there. They look like they would appreciate a recitation. And we could use a few dinars. What do you think, Xena ? Shall I tell a story ? You and Empedocles can discuss the situation with the raiders. "
 

Xena nodded. " You do that. "
 

Gabrielle stood up and moved to the far side of the tap room, where she propped herself on a stool and immediately became the centre of attention. That was a knack she had always had.
 

" Now, about these raiders - or thieves, or whatever they are... " Xena began.
 

" No problem now that we're all here ! " Joxer gloated. "We'll whack 'em. "
 

Xena grimaced.
 

" Having a plan would help. First we need to know where their base is. " she replied.
 

Empedocles nodded.
 

" I agree. " he said. " We must find the base and storm it. Four of us can do it. "
 

" I don't suppose you have any idea where it might be ? " she asked.
 

He shook his head. " Somewhere to the east. I've done a bit of searching over the last week, but they're well hidden."
 

Xena nodded glumly. " I see. "
 

" But it's too late today to set out, so I suggest we meet here again tomorrow morning and do some scouting then. "
 

" Fine. " agreed Xena.
 

" Why not scout tonight ? " asked Joxer.
 

Xena looked at him and tried to be patient. " You might have noticed that it's harder to follow trails in the dark. Besides, Gabrielle and I are tired. We've come a long way today. We'd be better for some sleep. "
 

Joxer nodded, but his mind was obviously elsewhere. He kept looking over towards Gabrielle, as she began her tale.
 

Empedocles sat back in thought, sipping his ale.
 
 
 

Xena looked at Joxer. She debated whether to ask him about the significance of the second of March.
 

Part of her was simply repelled by the idea of confessing her ignorance of anything to the little runt.
 

But she could not let go of the fact that there was something of significance to the Bard that had so far escaped her attention. And little as she liked the fact, the creature seated across the table from her was the logical person to ask. Joxer was obsessed with Gabrielle: it was one of the few things they had in common: it made him predictable, and occasionally handy to have around.
 

" Joxer. " she drawled. " C'm ere. I want to talk to you." She motioned him towards her ear.
 

He leant over and exhaled garlic onto her face.
 

" Ready to help. What can I do for you ? "
 

" I've got a question. A private one. About - her. "
 

" About - Gabby ? "
 

" Yeah. You've spent a bit of time thinking about her, haven't you ? "
 

He blushed. " Well, that's a very big question, Xena, I don't know that I'd say - "
 

" Hey, relax, I just thought that you might be able to tell me something. About her. "
 

" You mean that there's something about Gabrielle that you don't know ? That I might know ? "
 

" That's the general idea. "
 

His eyes grew wider at the thought.
 

" Fire away. " he said confidently.
 

" Tomorrow is the second day of March. There's something about tomorrow that's going to be important to her. But I can't imagine what. "
 

He shook his head. " Can't really say.... unless she's heard that you've got something planned ? "
 

" No. " she frowned.
 

" Haven't you ? I wondered if you had. Perhaps someone else has something planned then. Wouldn't surprise me. She's got a lot of friends. "
 

Xena had the unpleasant sensation that she had missed something critical somewhere in this conversation.
 

" Joxer, why should anyone be planning something for her?"
 

" For her birthday, of course. I suppose you haven't had time to arrange anything yourself, you've both been too busy saving people and doing good and stuff like that. She'll understand."
 

There are moments when it is useful to have spent a good part of one's life learning military discipline. It enables one to resist the temptation to utter foul language at high volume and repeatedly strike oneself about the head.
 

Gabrielle's birthday ! Of course ! How could she have missed something so obvious ?
 

Xena took a deep breath and compressed her lips.
 

" No. " she replied with affected nonchalance. " You're right. I haven't had the chance to do anything. "
 

Joxer nodded vacantly, but his eyes were wandering again.
 

Gabrielle was now well into her story, and her eyes had that wonderful glow that only the thrill of a good tale could bring.
 

" Hey, " said Joxer, " She's getting to the good bit. I love this story. "
 
 
 
 
 

" - And so the Warrior Princess urged her horse on to ever greater speed to escape the foul Horde members pursing her. "
 

" Down the gully they galloped, its sheer sides resounding to the mighty strokes of Argo's hooves. "
 

" But hold, what was this ? Suddenly the gallant steed threw up its noble head and paused. For an impassible wall of rock lay athwart the narrow pass, a barrier that had not been there that morning. "
 

" And Xena knew then that there had been a landslide but a few hours ago, a landslide which she had not heard over the din of the battle. "
 

" She was trapped ! There she stood in the gully, weaponless and helpless, the hideous mob of hairy anthropophagi lusting after her - "
 

Here Gabrielle's voice grew hoarse suddenly, and her face took on a strange expression -
 

" lusting for a taste of that savoury Warrior Princess flesh, eager to take it between their lips and their teeth, delighting in their anticipation of the flavour and texture of her limbs.... "
 

She coughed, and went on more sedately:
 

" How could Xena stop them ? Where could she find a weapon ? The Horde were but twenty feet away. "
 

" Inspiration struck her. She slid down the muscled flanks of her gallant charger and pulled up one of its hooves. Using only her teeth she removed the horseshoe and bent it between her mighty fingers. Yes, those wonderful, strong, skilful fingers - twisted the horseshoe into a circle. Behold a makeshift chakram ! Only a moment later and the merciless weapon went flying through the embattled air, striking all of the Horde members in turn and smiting each and every one of them into the sleep of unconsciousness ! "
 

Gabrielle raised one arm in a victory salute as she shouted the last line. Her audience cheered, whistled, and banged cups of ale onto the tables before them. Suds dripped onto the floor in a dozen places.
 

" I don't remember doing that. " Xena muttered.
 

Joxer smiled in fondness.
 

" She's a marvellous story teller. " he said. " They loved her. You'll make a few dinars tonight. "
 

Gabrielle approached the table. Her cheeks were flushed and she could not keep the grin away from her face. Telling a good tale always did that to her.
 

She looked even younger when she was smiling. Xena felt a moment of tenderness for her little friend. And she had almost missed her birthday !
 

" You were good tonight, Gabrielle. "
 

" Thanks, Xena. I love that story myself. It's one of my favourites. "
 

" There's just one thing I want to ask. The story you told - it isn't an adventure we took part in together. "
 

" Um, no. It isn't. "
 

" And I know I haven't told it to you, because I can't remember it happening. Who told you about it ? "
 

Gabrielle pursed her lips.
 

" I can't say. Does it matter ? "
 

" Gabrielle, did you just make it up ? "
 

" Xena, what a question ! Do I make things up ? If you mean, do I enhance your reputation by - let's say providing typical examples of your activities even when those examples may not actually represent specific concrete instances of actual events, but are merely in the generic category of the things that you regularly do - well, perhaps. But I only do it for your own good. You understand what I mean. "
 

Xena shook her head slowly.
 

" We'll have to have a talk about that, some day. "
 

Gabrielle nodded, slightly abashed.
 

" - But not tonight. " she added hastily, not wanting to risk an argument.
 

" All right. Anyway, Xena, after running all the way here..."
 

" Gabrielle, that was hardly running..."
 

" Perhaps not to you, but it was fast enough for me, and I'm tired. I might lie down in our room while you go exploring. "
 

Xena nodded. It would give her a chance to investigate the local market.
 

With any luck she might even find something to buy for Gabrielle.
 

Xena walked past a row of tables holding all manner of baubles: necklaces, rings, bracelets. The hawkers began crying out, holding their choicest pieces in their hands, proffering them to her at prices that made her heart sink.
 

Anything good was going to be expensive.
 

She stopped at last at a small stall run by a weaselly little individual in a Persian cap.
 

She ignored the man's frantic hyperbole and picked up a small gold bracelet with a diamond set in it.
 

" What taste you have ! " The stall keeper cried. " I see you recognise real value when you see it. That is a real diamond, a quality diamond from the mines of the Orient. "
 

" A diamond. " She muttered. " That brings back memories."

Joxer raised his eyebrows.
 

" Once, " she said quietly, " I cheated that girl. "
 

" Cheated her ? " he asked.
 

" You were there. Oh, you probably didn't notice. You were too busy picking creepy-crawlies off leaves and eating them at the time. "
 

" Ah, I see. " Joxer conceded. " It was... "
 

" Yes. It was - then. "
 

He had the decency to blush.
 

" I got her to do something for me by playing on her vanity. In fact, I put her life in danger. I promised her a diamond.... the most perfect gem in the world. If I'd been thinking straight I would never have let her go off on her own to get it. "
 

" Oh, Gabrielle came through. She always does. "
 

" Yes, but she's too brave. She forgets the first rule of survival. "
 

Joxer chortled. " I can't remember ever seeing you act on it, if it comes to that. "
 

Xena felt a moment of irrational fury, and had to tense her right arm to stop it from its automatic leap to her chakram. Dammit, little man, you do not talk to me like that !
 

But she forced herself to relax. The real problem was that he was right.
 

She sighed. " No. I suppose that my own survival isn't usually my first priority. It just upsets me to see her acting the same way. She's learned that from me, and I'd never forgive myself if she came to harm through it. Especially if she was on an errand I'd manipulated her into. "
 

Joxer's face settled into a vacant grin.
 

Why do I unburden myself to this... idiot ? Probably because he's the only one here. And I know how he feels about Gabrielle, which helps. Sometimes.
 

" Anyway, although we have been through a lot since then and worse has happened to both of us, I still remember her face when I took that diamond away from her. After making her risk her life to get it. I guess I just feel guilty about cheating my best friend."
 

" I've got an idea, Xena. You could always buy her another diamond ! "
 

She looked at him in puzzlement. Was he really that dense, or did he just pretend to be ?
 

" I was thinking of that. " she conceded as she looked at the inlay on the bracelet.
 

She met the stall keeper's eyes.
 

" Hey, fellah, how much for this piece ? "
 

The jeweller began to squirm with embarrassment.
 

" Your friend called you Xena ? You're - the Xena ? " he asked.
 

She nodded. She was used to this by now.
 

" I - I can't sell you that one. " he said.
 

" Is it already sold ? "
 

" No ! No, it's just not good enough for you. "
 

" It looks all right to me. " offered Joxer. Neither Xena nor the jeweller replied.
 

Xena held the bracelet closer to her eyes and examined the gem closely. A faint smile spread on her lips.
 

" I think I see why you don't want to sell me this one..."
 

" Xena ! " he begged. " Please ! Just let me have it back. Look ! " He reached under the counter and pulled out a little leather satchel. " There are some much nicer ones here."
 

Xena held onto the bracelet.
 

" It's a fake, isn't it. " she stated.
 

The jeweller blushed. " The stone is a composite synthetic, yes. " He could not meet her eyes.
 

She placed the item slowly on the counter.
 

" And you tried to tell me it was real. You know what I ought to do to you. " she began slowly.
 

His hands shook the stall to the point where a ring rolled unnoticed onto the ground.
 

" Lots of us sell it " he began awkwardly. " Some - some people prefer synthetics... " Her expression silenced him.
 

" Take back the fakes. " she said evenly. " If you must sell them, sell them properly labelled. I am not amused by fraud. "
 

He nodded repeatedly, and began to dump much of his wares into the satchel. Even Joxer looked disgusted at the percentage of his jewellery that disappeared.
 

The tall woman shook her head and moved onto the next stall.
 

The owner here favoured her with a smile.
 

" To tell you the truth, I wondered how long it would take before someone did that to him. " he said. " But look at my stuff. All the gems are real. "
 

She raised her eyebrows.
 

" Well, all of them apart from those rings there, and they're kept separate. "
 

Xena picked up a necklace on a slender chain. Its centrepiece was a single heart-shaped diamond wrapped in golden grape leaves.
 

" How much is this ? " she asked.
 

He opened his mouth, then shut it again. She inspected it carefully.
 

" Is there a problem with it ? " she asked.
 

" Oh no ! It's as good as they come, and you have my word on that. It's just that - normally I would ask three hundred dinars, but - I'm from Amphitrace. You remember Amphitrace ? The boar of Amphitrace ? "
 

" The boar ? "
 

" We all remember how you saved our village from that wild boar. You earned our perpetual gratitude for that. "
 

Xena frowned.
 

" The wild boar... ? "
 

" Surely you recall it ! It was rampaging through the farms and destroying everything in its path. It killed one family... "
 

" Ah, yes, that boar ! Sorry. I thought for a moment you were talking about the old guy in the inn there, the one who looked like Silenus on a bad beard day. No, I remember the pig. We roasted it afterwards but it was a little stringy. "
 

" Look, Xena, our village owes you for that, and to be honest, it just occurred to me that.. well... "
 

" That I might not have three hundred dinars. You can say it, it's no insult. Besides, it's true. "
 

" So - make me an offer. "
 

She sighed and shook her head. " I've only got fifty. "
 

" And you'll need some for board and lodging. So we'll say forty ? Done. " He pulled out his wrapping material and began to bundle the necklace up.
 

She laughed, almost unwilling to accept his gift.
 

" The stone by itself would be worth three times that ! That's a good two and a half carats, and no flaws. "
 

The jeweller smiled at her. He continued to wrap the necklace in linen.
 

" You know your gems as well, eh ? That's pretty impressive."
 

Xena raised her eyebrows. " I have - a certain aptitude for it."
 
 
 
 
 

As they browsed the rest of the market she noticed that the sun was already setting. Where had the evening gone ?
 

" Joxer, I should be getting back. It's almost dark, and Gabrielle will be wondering what's become of me. If she hasn't fallen asleep already."
 

Joxer nodded. " I'll just... buy some stuff... meet you back at the inn later. "
 

Xena nodded without any real interest. " Yeah, you just buy some stuff. See you. "
 

From the top of the knoll she should have a good view to the east. That might be worth checking, if the raiders came from that direction.
 

The stone structure on the hill proved to be an open air altar. Xena had little inclination towards formal religion. She did not even bother to read the inscription on the altar to discover which god was worshipped here.
 

It would not, however, have been accurate to call her an atheist: it is hard to be an atheist when one spends a good part of one's time cavorting with gods and goddesses. It would be more accurate to say that in her case familiarity with the divine had bred a certain contempt.
 

In fact her last couple of encounters with gods had ended in attempted deicide.
 

She rested her elbows on the most sacred part of the offering stone and gazed out towards the east, head cupped in her hands.
 

The light of the setting sun lay almost horizontally on the fields and low hills before her, tinting them red and lending a faintly unreal aspect to the landscape.
 

The town itself lay at her feet, its squalid mass surrounded by the beautiful green of the forest, rather like the contents of a rubbish bin dumped on an immaculate lawn.
 

Xena knew something about raiders. Raiders tend to be predictable. They all operate the same way. When they are preying on a town, they always pick a base a certain distance out. Not so close as to be found easily, not so far as to make it a long journey there and back.
 

She estimated the usual distance on the landscape in front of her, and drew an imaginary radius from the town centre.
 

They also like certain types of landscapes. Something concealed and potentially defensible.
 

She picked the two most likely spots on her imaginary radius. That would be where she would look the following day, and ten to one she'd find them.
 

She sighed, and felt a moment of ennui. Dammit, she liked being good at her job: but did she have to do everything herself ? Empedocles and his sort could search for months and still never be able to find the base. It would be really nice if other people could show a bit of competence just for once.
 

She started back down the hill in the fading light.
 

" Hi. Xena. " she mumbled. " Time for bed, isn't it ? "
 

Xena's eyes were darting around the room almost furtively. And her breathing was wrong. Gabrielle couldn't explain it even to herself, but she sensed something in the patterns of her friend's breath that just didn't fit.
 

And she had taken off her leathers and was wearing a simple purple dress. What could have possessed her to do a thing like that?
 

" Are you all right ? " she whispered.
 

" Sure thing, Gab, I'm just fine. " she replied jauntily. Then she corrected herself. " Well, no, I'm not really. Something's sorta come up, you know ? "
 

" Xena ! What's come up ? And why are you dressed like that - are you in disguise for some reason ? "
 

" A complication with the plan. "
 

" I didn't know we had a plan yet. "
 

" We do all right. But there's problems. Gotta come with me and talk to Empedocles. He'll explain. "
 

" Empedocles wants to explain the plan to me ? "
 

" Sure does. So wakey-wakey and let's go jaw. Now. "
 

Gabrielle pulled herself out of the sheets and stood on the cold floor. She dressed quickly while Xena stood with her back to her staring intently out of the window.
 

" So what's the plan ? " she asked.
 

" It's kinda complicated. Tell ya later. "
 

Gabrielle shrugged. She would hear about it in time.
 

They left the room together and began to descend the stairs. Gabrielle was surprised at how nervous Xena had become. She jumped at the sound of a door slamming in the distance.
 

Whatever had gone wrong with the plan had certainly upset her.
 

She paused at the bottom of the stairs.
 

" Hey, Gab, give me that stick of yours, will you ? "
 

" My staff ? Why - "
 

" I need it a sec. "
 

With some reluctance, Gabrielle handed her the staff.
 

" OK, boys. " said Xena.
 

Two men appeared from the shadows. There was no time to react. One grabbed Gabrielle round the waist, the other clapped his hand over her mouth and twisted an arm behind her back.
 

She squealed and tried to kick, but she was pinioned.
 

The truth descended on her. " Damn you, Meg ! " she mumbled through a set of solid male fingers. " You've done it to me again!"
 

Meg, if she heard, made no response.
 
 
 

It was a pleasant evening: she was in love: the world was a happy place. Tomorrow, or the day after, she and Gabrielle would beat the stuffing out of a few pathetic rural thieves and they would be on their way, to bigger and better things.
 

And in the meantime, she would have a chance to be nice to her best friend, to show her that she valued her.
 

She paused in the tap room to see if Empedocles were still there. He had gone, but on impulse she decided to have a mug of cider before bed.
 

She was only half way to the bar before she realised that something was very wrong.
 

Xena had always been good at picking up atmospheres. There was definitely something strained in the atmosphere now. The curiosity that she had sensed when they arrived was gone. It had been replaced by something different. A kind of resentment, almost a contempt. Hostility was something she had always been familiar with, but this was not the kind of hostility that she had known as the Destroyer of Nations. This was the kind of contemptuous hostility that a sneak thief might elicit.
 

Perhaps it's because I've been seen in public with Joxer. Not always a good move. Wonder what sort of rubbish he's been up to, to get a reception like this ?
 

The bartender gave her an odd look as he poured the cider.
 

She tossed him a coin.
 

" Full price, or special Warrior Princess price ? " he asked sourly.
 

She frowned at him, and felt a moment of embarrassment. Perhaps people had heard about the diamond. Well, so what: it hadn't been her idea.
 

" Usual price, of course. " she replied curtly.
 

He poured her a mug of cider. She began to sip it. She noticed that none of the locals seemed interested in approaching her. That at least was a relief.
 

" You're going on a long journey after you leave here ? " the bartender finally asked.
 

" Only as far as we end up going. " she replied. " We don't make a lot of long term plans, you need to be flexible in our line of work. Why do you ask ? "
 

He raised his eyebrows, but avoided looking at her.
 

" Just that... you seemed to be buying rather a lot of things."
 

She gave him a quizzical look.
 

" We've hardly bought anything. " she retorted. " At least, I haven't. Has Gabrielle been out ? "
 

" Your little blonde friend ? Went upstairs hours ago, haven't seen her since. Suppose she could have snuck out the back door. If she knew it was there. "
 

Xena sighed, and finished her cider.
 

" Thanks. " she muttered. She refrained from adding "for nothing", and contented herself with thinking it.
 

The contemptuous eyes followed her out of the room.
 

She deliberately resumed her whistling on the stairs. When circumstances make you uncomfortable, try putting on a front.
 

The whistling stopped when she noticed that the door to their room was ajar.
 

She pulled out her breast dagger and twisted it between her fingers in apprehension. She crept up to the door and looked, not round its free edge - far too obvious - but through the crack on the hinge side.
 

The room was empty. The bed was dishevelled. Gabrielle's clothes and staff were gone.
 

She kicked the door fully open, did a double somersault into the middle of the room, and whirled round, arms at full stretch, dagger held out.
 

Nothing. An empty room. Gabrielle gone.
 

She forced her heart to slow down. It wasn't like the Bard to disappear in the middle of the night in a strange town, but there could be an innocent explanation.
 

Then she noticed the letter on the table. It had been scribbled onto a piece torn from one of Gabrielle's blank scrolls and left in full view beside the candle.
 

" Zeener: I sore you gill fiend took by raidurs to sell at the slave makket at Thebes. That's way she is if you want look fur her."
 

Her eyes took on a faintly opaque look that certain souls in Tartarus remembered well as their last earthly vision.
 

" They're going to sell Gabrielle ! As a slave ! " he howled. " Xena, we must be brave. We must rescue her ! Forthwith ! " He drew his sword and waved it in the air.
 

Several patrons at the bar withdrew hastily from his swing range.
 

Xena sucked a lip in thought.
 

" Mm. Yes, I think you're right - but do you really need my help to do that ? Joxer the Mighty ? "
 

He stopped waving his sword and looked crestfallen.
 

" I'd appreciate it. "
 

She pouted. " This is one of those moments when we have to split forces, I'm afraid. Joxer: you go to Thebes. Search the slave market for Gabrielle. "
 

He nodded, but his enthusiasm was palpably fading.
 

" I'll stay here and finish off these raiders. If we... I mean, if Gabrielle still needs rescued after that, I'll join you at Thebes. "
 

He nodded again.
 

" All right, Xena. I'll do it. For her. - And for you, of course, no offence, I'll do it for both of you. See you in Thebes!"
 

He strode to the door: but paused suddenly and turned to face the room, with an embarrassed air.
 

The innkeeper broke the silence.
 

" Take the south road and turn left at the temple of Hephaestus."
 

" Thank you " Joxer nodded, and left.
 
 
 

Xena turned and slapped the letter on the table.
 

" Well, Empedocles: what do you think about this ? "
 

Empedocles frowned. " You don't want to help Joxer rescue Gabrielle ? "
 

" Oh, I'll rescue Gabrielle all right. But I don't think she's in Thebes. "
 

" Then where is she ? "
 

" The raiders have her at their camp. "
 

He frowned. " How do you know that ? "
 

" From the letter ! Look at it ! "
 

Empedocles did.
 

" It's obviously a red herring ! " she expostulated. "Look at all those mis-spellings. Nobody could be that ignorant. So they're trying to deceive us. And it follows that if they are trying to deceive us, the whole thing is a fraud. It's an attempt to get me out of town on a wild goose chase to Thebes, leaving the raiders free to plunder the village. "
 

" And you can tell that from the mis-spellings. "
 

Xena nodded.
 

Empedocles read the whole letter again, very slowly. He looked up at her, thought about asking her which mis-spellings she meant, but decided against it. Instead he asked another question which was bothering him.
 

" Then... can I ask why you sent Joxer to Thebes ? "
 

She licked her lips.
 

" Mmm. Guess we have to cover all our bases. Any other questions ? Before we head off ? "
 

" Head off now ? It's the middle of the night ! Anyway, we still don't know where the raider's camp is. Or can you tell that from the letter too ? "
 

" No, but we'll find it. I have a rough idea where it might be. Ready ? "
 

He took a deep breath. " Just you and me then. I suppose I'm ready. "
 

She smiled and started for the door.
 

She spat, to remove the taste of unwashed fingers from her lips.
 

An older man appeared from the bushes. He was accompanied by a younger bodyguard.
 

" We've got her, Scabrus. Just like you wanted. " one of the ruffians announced.
 

" Good. " the older man replied. " Wasn't sure you could pull it off, Meg, but you did all right. "
 

Meg stood to one side, twirling Gabrielle's staff.
 

" No probs, pops. Told you I've fooled her before. Hey, I like your stick, kid. Love the bit of rabbit on the end. Can I keep it, Scabrus ? "
 

Scabrus snorted.
 

" You want it, it's yours. But let's get back to base. There's a couple of bottles of Rhodian waiting, and I don't want them to get bored. "
 

The men sniggered.
 

Gabrielle was hurled round and shoved into a tree. She felt her arms being pulled behind her and her wrists tied together.
 

She felt utterly helpless as they dragged her back onto the road.
 
 
 

The party arrived at the raider's base twenty minutes later. Only the outline of the building was visible against the night sky, but Gabrielle immediately saw that this was no normal house. The biggest part of the structure was a tall rounded cone, with a more normal looking, rectangular, extension to one side.
 

" So, girly. We've arrived. But I've got a nice little surprise for you. Know what this thing is ? "
 

His arm waved in the direction of the conical tower.
 

" Actually, I think I do. It looks like a tomb. A tholos, a Mycenaean beehive tomb. Must be very old, from the Age of the Heroes. "
 

" By Athene, you think you know everything, don't you ? "
 

Gabrielle shrugged. The effect was lost in the darkness.
 

" And someone's built a house beside it ? " she asked.
 

" Right again. " Scabrus agreed. " Well, girl, since you're so smart, we can keep you in the tomb part. Think you'd like that ? "
 

" Would it do any good if I said I didn't ? "
 

Scabrus laughed his most evil laugh.
 

Let him think he's got me scared. I've spent the night in worse places than a tomb. If he thinks that leaving me there will spook me.... well, it might stop him from trying something else.
 

They dragged her through the door of the house and into a large room. The builder had evidently believed in economy. One wall of this room was curved, and the stonework consisted of much larger blocks than the other walls. It was simply the outside wall of the beehive tomb, with a room tacked onto it.
 

The crypt itself was a large circular area, paved in flagstones. In its centre stood a modern throne-like chair, and there were boxes and bundles of assorted things lining the back wall. Scabrus and his men forced Gabrielle into the chair and tied her firmly to it. They left after a few minutes of obligatory gloating.
 

Meg did not leave with them, but stood unsteadily in front of the chair looking at her. Even now, knowing who she really was, the Bard still found it difficult at moments not to react to her as if she were Xena.
 

" Sorry about what happened, Gab. " she said quietly. She had been drinking from a hip flask on the journey back and her voice was distinctly slurred.
 

" I don't really enjoy foolin' ya, but Scabrus - well, you know - he's kinda got a hold over me. If I don't do what he says..."
 

Her eyes widened and she drew a hand across her throat in pantomime.
 

" He's got a foul temper on him, he has, so when he says - do your Xena act, bring me Gabrielle - well, I gotta do it. So I thought I'd let you know it was nothing personal. "
 

Gabrielle sighed.
 

" I'm sorry, Meg, but as far as I'm concerned being deceived and taken prisoner is rather personal."
 

Meg sniffed.
 

" Easy for you to act proper. You should try my life for a while, kid. "
 

Gabrielle shook her head. It was hard not to feel sorry for her - and dammit, she looked so much like Xena -
 

" I know you've had it hard, Meg, but ... "
 

" Yeah, I have. " she interrupted. " Don't forget that. And if you see Xena again, 'member to tell her - just tell her that I didn't really have anything against ya. "
 

With that she left, turning at the door to give Gabrielle an unexpected smile. As she did so, she propped the staff just inside the door, in full view.
 

Gabrielle had a moment of confusion. Was Meg taunting her, leaving the staff visible but out of reach ? Or was she leaving it there in the hope that perhaps she could reach it ?
 

It hardly mattered. The staff was fifteen feet away, and she was firmly tied to a chair. Reaching it was out of the question.
 

The man who had been posted to guard her was even drunker than Meg had been. He closed the door, and sank heavily onto a little stool.
 

" So. " He said, and gave her a tipsy grin. " S'just you 'n me, Gab. "
 

Gabrielle sighed.
 

" M'name's Porus. "
 

" I'd like to say I was pleased to meet you... "
 

Deceit, capture, and now being chatted up by a drunk. How much worse was it going to get ?
 

" Xena... stop a second. " he gasped.
 

She stopped, and turned to him quickly.
 

" We haven't got much time, Empedocles. What's up ? "
 

" Shouldn't we be quieter ? Aren't we making a lot of noise marching like this ? "
 

She listened to his ragged breathing.
 

What he really means is that he can't take the pace. He's too old for heroics like this.
 

" They can't hear us. We're still too far from their camp. When we get closer we'll be quieter. "
 

He took a deep breath.
 

" OK. I'd just hate to think we were alerting them."
 

" Don't worry, we won't. Just another half mile. We'll pause then. "
 

She turned back to the trail and moved on.
 

At the base of the hills she reached out and took his arm in a quiet gesture.
 

" Empedocles. " she began.
 

" Yes, Xena ? " he panted.
 

" Right now, we are more or less where I wanted to be."
 

" Oh, good. " he replied.
 

She bit her lip in a moment of indecision. She had glimpsed a couple of tiny flickers on the knoll ahead, and was fairly sure that what she had seen was candle light through windows. The only question was how to arrange the attack.
 

Do I really want him with me ? He'd be a total liability in a fight. He doesn't even know how to carry that sword, let alone use it. I'd have to watch out for his back as well as my own. Totally cramp my style.
 

She pulled him closer and murmured into his ear.
 

" There are two possible places for the enemy base. It might be on that knoll ahead of us. Or it might be down by the creek. "
 

" The creek's a good mile away. Shall we check the knoll first?"
 

She smiled to herself. A mile was far enough.
 

" I don't want to waste any time. Can you whistle ? "
 

" Well, yes. " he replied, puzzled.
 

" Why don't I check the knoll. You check the creek. If you see anything, don't go charging in. Wait for me. Just come back a bit and whistle. I'll join you. "
 

Empedocles nodded. " And if you see something, you'll whistle for me. I'll keep my ears open for that. "
 

" Er, yes, of course. " she replied hastily.
 

He reached out and gripped her wrist in what he had read was a comradely gesture. Xena stiffened for a moment, unsure of what he was doing.
 

" Good luck. " he whispered.
 

He disappeared into the bushes, headed for the creek.
 

Instead he stood up and began to wander round the room, working his way closer to the chair.
 

Finally he reached a position directly in front of her. He leant over and leered despicably.
 

" How about a little kiss for your friend Porus ? " he slurred.
 

Gabrielle reacted in instinctive disgust.
 

" Don't kiss me ! " she snapped.
 

" Why not ? "
 

She took a deep breath and tried to think of something. "It isn't safe. " she offered. "Remember - I'm a friend of Xena's. All I have to do is tell Xena about you... and you're in trouble. BIG trouble. "
 

She hated invoking the name of the Warrior Princess to get her out of tight situations, but sometimes there wasn't much choice.
 

" Xena ? " The guard belched. " Can't say I see her around right now... "
 

" ... And besides, there's the curse. "
 

" What curse ? "
 

" My lips are under an enchantment. Any male who kisses me dies. Doesn't everyone know that by now ? "
 

" Oh ? " The guard paused to consider it. " So how long does this enchantment take to work ? "
 

" Usually they die within - about forty five minutes. "
 

The guard seemed to consider it briefly. Then he shook his head and looked at her.
 

" Nah. " he concluded. " Don't believe it. You're trying to fool me. "
 

She sighed and shook her head. But... yes, her head was free: that gave her an idea.
 

" All right. " she conceded sadly. " You want a kiss... you want to take that risk.... so bend over and I'll give you - a kiss like you've never had before. "
 

The guard leered and bent towards her. She held her head right back - and as soon as he was within range, cracked her forehead down and caught him smartly between the eyes.
 

He fell to the ground stunned.
 

" Sorry. " Gabrielle muttered. " I don't like violence, but you left me no choice. "
 

The next part was harder.
 

From where she sat she could see a dagger hanging from the guard's belt. Her only problem was getting hold of it. Once she did that the rest would be easy: cut the ropes, form an escape plan, carry it through - nothing she hadn't done a dozen times before.
 

However, her feet and arms were both tied firmly to the chair, and the dagger was six feet away, at ground level. This did present difficulties.
 

There was a solution.
 

She began rocking her chair from side to side, manouvering it closer to the fallen guard. When she was in position she threw her weight to one side and the chair tipped over, leaving her face only inches from the dagger. She stretched out her neck and grabbed the pommel with her teeth.
 

Gripping it carefully, she withdrew her head, pulling the dagger from its sheath. Then she manouvered the blade with her lips and tongue until it pointed outwards from the side of her mouth.
 

At full stretch she could just get the blade down onto the bonds that held her left hand. She began to rock her neck back and forward, sawing at the rope.
 

So how on Earth does a nice girl from Poteideia get into a fix like this ? Here I am, tied to a chair lying on its side on the floor, gripping a dagger between my teeth, and at my feet there lies an unconscious barbarian - whom I just knocked out. And he tried to... well, I don't want to even think about that.
 

She continued sawing. Her neck began to ache, and for a moment she thought she was going to drop the dagger. What if it fell behind the chair ? She might never retrieve it !
 

Well, actually, I do know how I get into these scrapes. It's her. Xena. She does it to me. Rescued me from a boredom that I couldn't cope with. Dumped me into a life of danger and adventure that I can only just cope with, on a good day. With friends like her....
 

But she found her eyes misty as she thought of her: Xena, her friend, her companion. Her lover. The centre of her existence.
 

And is it worthwhile ? Risking my life on a daily basis ? Knowing that every morning that I wake up and we're both still breathing is a bonus ?
 

She stopped sawing to think about it.
 

YES ! It is worth it ! Every minute I spend by your side, Xena, is worth a lifetime of stagnation in that hick town. I would throw myself into a pit of burning lava for your sake... in fact I did once.... not that I actually enjoyed it, mind you, but I'd do it again if I had to.
 

She returned to sawing at her bonds. The dagger slipped momentarily and gashed the side of her wrist. She let out a muffled squeal. Blood began to trickle over the arm of the chair. She sighed, and stopped cutting, aware of the pulsing in her wrist.
 

What do I do now ? I could just wait for her to come and rescue me. She's good at that. She'd rescue me. But no, Xena, I want to get out of this by myself. I want to prove to you that I can do it.
 

She returned to cutting the ropes, ignoring the pain. When she cut herself a second time, she refused even to pause. Determination kept her going. At last her hand came free. She flexed her fingers, then used them to remove the dagger from her mouth, and sucked thoughtfully at the cuts on the side of her wrist.
 

But how to get out ? There's only one door, and no windows. Behind the door is a whole mob of them. I might get through, but it wouldn't be nice. I'd have to fight, and if there's a way to avoid that, I'd prefer to.
 

She looked down at the guard. He was snoring, more drunk than unconscious. At least he would pose no threat for the immediate future.
 

The dagger was so coated in blood that it looked as if it had been used for a disembowelment. With a grimace she leant forwards and slid it back into its sheath at his belt. He could clean it later. A grubby dagger was a small penalty for his incivility.
 

Untying the rest of her ropes took only seconds. Her first action afterwards was seizing her staff. She relaxed as she felt her hands slide round the familiar grain of the wood.
 

Now she felt more like her real self again - Gabrielle of Poteideia, armed and dangerous !
 

As the raider's base became visible she noticed the odd shape of the building, but ignored the cone at the side and instead concentrated on the faint light visible through the side windows.
 

She paused for several minutes and drank in the scene, finally concluding that there were no outside sentries.
 

From inside the building came laughter, loud drunken conversation, and an occasional snatch of song.
 

They're having a party in there. Celebrate kidnapping my best friend, would ya ? I'll give ya something to celebrate !
 

She broke from the cover of the bushes and walked to the nearest window. Her fingers found a grip on the wall, and she levered herself up to peer into the chamber.
 

A slow smile spread across her face as she surveyed her opponents. It rather resembled the expression a young child might wear when let loose in a candy store.
 

Gabrielle paced the floor, looking for iron rings that might be worth pulling on, but for some unknown reason the original makers of the tomb had neglected to provide a secret exit. Perhaps they felt that their intended occupants wouldn't really require any special means for leaving.
 

So: no trapdoors. Did she have to do it the hack and slash way after all ? For a moment the impulse to sally forth and fracture a few skulls did seize her, but she suppressed it. That would be Xena's way. If her role in life was to show Xena a better approach, then copying her bad habits was not the answer.
 

At that moment the penny dropped. There were leaves all over the floor. She had been kicking them aside to look for trapdoors but had never stopped to think how the leaves got in.
 

She looked up. And there at the apex of the beehive was a circular hole in the masonry.
 

It was much too far above her head to reach, even if she stood on the chair. So far above her, in fact, that she almost dismissed it. Xena might have been able to jump that high on a good day, but Gabrielle didn't share her skills. She couldn't reach it. Not without a pole-vault.
 

Then she chuckled, looking at the staff in her hand. Wasn't that a good approximation to a pole ?
 

The chamber was not quite wide enough for a decent run, but if she pressed herself against the side wall and took off with a kick she might just be up to speed a few paces later. She took a deep breath, kept the image of her friend and mentor in her mind for inspiration, and charged, with the staff held high in her hand.
 

A thrust and a gasp and she was in the air, headed for the hole - and then she was through it, landing on the masonry outside with a thump that knocked the wind out of her.
 

She glanced up at the stars and the outlines of the trees while trying to catch her breath. She was out. She had escaped. She was sliding down the side of the tomb....
 

A moment later she crashed into the bushes. Too sore to move, she lay there and slowly forced the air back into her lungs. Her wrist was bleeding, her legs were stiff from their confinement, and it felt as if she had cracked a rib in sliding down the irregular masonry. Even her neck still hurt from unaccustomed exercise, and her head felt bruised where she had whacked the guard. She tried to look on the positive side by finding a part of herself that didn't hurt, but the effort was too much.
 

Just another day in my life with Xena.
 

The thought of her friend was enough to force herself into action. After all, if she delayed any longer Xena might wonder where she was and get worried.
 

She paused to let her eyes adjust, then searched the stars to orient herself.
 

The village would be - that way. Just beyond the trees she could make out the outline of a low hill they had passed on the way in.
 

There was a sort of path headed that way. She set off confidently, trying to keep as quiet as possible.
 

Three armed men. One old fellow, who seemed to be in charge, probably Scabrus.
 

And Meg. Meg !
 

Things began to fall into place in her mind. The bartender's comments suddenly made sense.
 

I should know by now that when people start treating me oddly and accusing of things I haven't done that there's something going on... usually her. I should give her the hiding of her life... nah, she'd only enjoy it.
 

Meg raised a wine glass to her lips and blurted out some drunken witticism that set the rest of the table roaring.
 

Xena remembered Empedocles and her promise to involve him if she found the raiders.
 

Sorry, old man, I just didn't have time. Anyway, you know about having to cover all one's bases.
 

She took a deep breath and let out an ululation that echoed from the rafters.
 

Scabrus choked on his wine at the sound.
 

" What in Tartarus was - "
 

A leather clad warrior woman flew from the window and landed with impossible grace in the middle of the floor. Her sword arm was outstretched, and her blade twinkled in the candle light.
 

" It's her ! " He coughed. " Get her ! "
 

I've heard that line before, buster. It's usually a mistake.
 

Three armed men rose from their places and moved drunkenly towards her.
 

" Hi boys. " she announced. Then she kicked the nearest man in the testicles. His eyes grew wide and his tongue popped out. He dropped his sword and bent double, both hands at his groin.
 

OK, I fight dirty, but you did leave me an opening.
 

The other two were more cagey. The didn't close in. Instead they nodded to one another and began circling, one on each side.
 

Well, at least these two would present a little challenge. But being attacked from two sides at once was something to avoid. She formulated a plan of action.
 

She leapt into position and engaged the attacker to her left. Their blades met with a clang that vibrated right though her arm socket. He fell back. Xena pressed forward, very aware that she had to get her timing just right to catch the one coming in from her rear...
 

She feinted with the sword in her right hand, swung her left fist to connect with his jaw, and flung herself into the air in a somersault right over the man behind her. As she vaulted over his helmet she brought the hilt of her sword down on the back of his neck. There was a cracking sound as something dislocated.
 

They hit the floor in unison.
 

She executed a perfect landing, and stretched her arms out in a balletic gesture. Good to know she was still in form.
 

She sensed someone behind her, heard ragged breathing. It was the guy she had kicked before, trying to get her from behind.
 

Creep up on Xena ? He certainly had balls. What was left of them, anyway.
 

The cool way ? Yeah, the cool way.
 

She estimated his position from the sound of his breathing and raised her sword arm. Without even looking behind her she brought her sword down and thrust backwards, right into his abdomen.
 

There was a delightful slippery "shplock!" as the blade penetrated his vital organs, and he let out his last groan.
 

She turned and braced her foot against his chest, using the leverage to extract her sword. She glanced down at his collapsing body.
 

Another kill. More blood to clean off my blade. Haven't done that for - days.
 

Great Zeus ! What a hangover !
 

Memory slowly filtered back.
 

No, it's not a hangover. I didn't drink that much.
 

He raised his hand to the bruise between his eyes. His nose was swollen and too tender to touch.
 

I've been out to it all right, but someone's clobbered me.
 

He remembered his captive. The irritating blonde. Then he saw the empty chair. He groaned again. Scabrus was not going to be pleased.
 

Then the noise that had woken him finally registered. There was a fight going on in the main room ! Swords were clanging, people were yelling and generally banging around, and a strange woman was... well, yodelling was the only word that came to mind.
 

Perhaps if he helped with the fight Scabrus might overlook the loss of the dame. He lurched to the door, trying to ignore his nausea.
 

" X-X-Xena ! " stuttered Meg.
 

" You guessed it. " Xena announced cheerfully.
 

" But you're in Thebes ! " Meg went on.
 

" Am I ? No, I don't think so. "
 

She felt better that she had all evening. Probably had something to do with killing one of the ruffians. She still got that old post-homicidal afterglow, although she didn't really like to talk about it these days. She suspected that Gabrielle sensed it, though even the Bard dared not broach certain subjects with her.
 

Which reminded her of why she had come here.
 

" You have Gabrielle. Where is she ? " Xena demanded.
 

At that moment the door to the crypt opened, and an ashen-faced man with a large bruise on his forehead staggered into the room.
 

" Porus ! " Scabrus exclaimed.
 

Xena turned her head to him as his hand reached to his sword.
 

" Don't even think about it. " she drawled.
 

Scabrus gestured to him. " Drop it " he said tersely. "She's won already. "
 

Porus had retained enough judgement to accept the advice. He raised his hands above his head and sidled towards the other two.
 

" So, as I was saying.... " At that moment she heard muffled noises behind her, and noticed that Meg's eyes were focussed on a point towards the back of the room. One of the other guards must have woken up.
 

Yeah, the cool way. She didn't even turn her head. She simply spoke to the room at large.
 

" - But, as for you behind me: Do you want to live to have breakfast ? "
 

The noises stopped.
 

" If you do, just join your friends. If you don't, well, I can always oblige. "
 

Her peripheral vision soon caught him. He had abandoned his weapon and was walking with his hands raised.
 

" Good boy. Now where were we ? Ah, yes. Gabrielle. She is here ? " It was not entirely a question.
 

Meg looked at Scabrus. Scabrus looked at Xena. He sighed.
 

" You win. She's here. "
 

" Right. So - lead on. "
 

All eyes turned to Porus. Porus gazed studiously at the floor.
 

" She's through there. " Scabrus continued. He inclined his head towards the door. " Show her, Porus. " he ordered.
 

Porus began to tremble.
 

" That's the problem ! I can't ! She isn't there any longer !"
 

Xena's eyes became slightly opaque again.
 
 
 
 
 

An angry Warrior Princess can scan a room in less time than it takes to tell. She returned immediately to the main chamber, noticing Porus' abject terror and the perplexity on the faces of the others, and concluded that there was only one person here that she needed to talk to.
 

She raised herself to her full height - a good three inches above Porus - and stood directly in front of him, pressing the tip of her sword into his throat. His upper lip began to quiver, and he snivelled.
 

At the sight of his fear an old and rather unwelcome delight thrilled through her.
 

Great Ares, but part of me still enjoys this ! Sorry, Gab. I'll try to be nicer in future, really I will, but right now I am so peeved at this twit...
 

" You were the one guarding her. " she stated.
 

Porus nodded gently, wincing as the sword nicked his throat.
 

" She is gone. " He decided not to nod again. " Well - yes." he whispered.
 

" There is blood on her chair. There is blood on the floor. " Her eyes looked him up and down, settling momentarily on a stain on the pommel of his dagger.
 

" Pull out your dagger ! "
 

He whimpered. Producing an offensive weapon when an angry warrior woman is holding a large sword at one's throat is not a generally recommended survival strategy.
 

On the other hand, she was ordering him to do it, and disobedience seemed equally likely to end in tears. He reached out slowly with his hand and produced the dagger, holding it gingerly between the tips of finger and thumb, much as one might hold the carcass of a rat which has died from a particularly repulsive skin disease.
 

There was a collective gasp from the assembled gang.
 

" What have you done, Porus ? " whispered Scabrus.
 

" Holy Mother Hestia, I never meant for him to do that !" whined Meg. " By the Gods, Xena, believe me, if I'd thought..."
 

" Shut up ! " she snapped. Instant silence fell. Slowly, ever so slowly, Xena reached out and took the dagger from Porus' trembling fingers. She ran her thumb down the flat of the blade, testing the stickiness of its coating.
 

" This blood is less than an hour old." she commented.
 

The guard dropped to his knees in front of her.
 

" I never touched her ! " he pleaded. " On my mother's grave, I swear it ! "
 

Xena's lips began to draw back at the edges. It was quite unlike a smile, and yet the muscles involved were the same. How did she do it ? How did she persuade her face to turn a smile into something so threatening ?
 

The guard suddenly recalled a vase painting of a lamia exposing its teeth prior to the bite. Suddenly he knew how the victim felt. He began to count each heart beat. He wasn't sure that he would reach double figures before they stopped for ever.
 

" So what exactly " - the coldness in her voice made his teeth rattle - " did happen ? "
 

" I - I - I was guarding her, and we talked a little. "
 

She sighed. " So far I believe you. "
 

" Then someone must have hit me on the head, I don't recall exactly when or how, and I woke up later with a stinking headache and she was gone. That's it. That's all there is. "
 

She reached out and placed the tip of the dagger under his chin, and used it to lever his head up until he was looking into those eyes. The rictus was back, and her canine teeth were now fully exposed.
 

" Then. Explain. This. Blood. "
 

" I can't ! It wasn't there when I looked this morning !"
 

She slipped the dagger into her belt, as if it were a keepsake.
 

Then her right hand lashed out and he felt a curious numbing warmth on his neck. Suddenly his vision swam, he could no longer breathe, and an agonising pressure began to build in his temples.
 

" I have just " she announced, " cut off the supply of blood to your brain, and... other bits, but the brain is what matters. You have thirty seconds to convince me of your story or you will die a horrible death. Here, and now. "
 

He writhed in agony. Blood began to trickle from his nose.
 

Xena looked into his eyes.
 

" The rope ! " he whispered. " The ropes were cut... "
 

" Where she was tied to the chair ? "
 

" Yes ! Look ! "
 

She strode into the beehive chamber and examined the chair. Yes, there were the ropes that had bound Gabrielle, still wrapped loosely round the arms of the chair. And the edges of the left hand rope were cut, and most of the blood was on the arm rest on that side.
 

Suddenly it all made sense. The man was telling the truth. Gabrielle had secured the guard's dagger and freed herself, cutting her arm in the process. She could almost see it happening.
 

She turned and strode back into the room.
 

" You were right - " she began.
 

The frozen tableau was like a scene from a play. The onlookers with their shocked and angry expressions, the victim lying on the floor, his white face, blue lips, and dead eyes telling the story better than words ever could.
 

Sometimes thirty seconds just isn't long enough.
 

" Oops. " muttered the Warrior Princess.
 
 
 

This presented a interesting dilemma. It was possible that the room was still empty and the chamber maids had simply been tidying up.
 

But it was also possible that a pack of her enemies were skulking in hiding behind the door, their weapons poised to attack her as soon as she made the mistake of entering.
 

Sometimes she had dreams like that.
 

On the other hand... could Gabrielle be back ?
 

She knelt and pressed her head to the floor, angling to see into the room below the door.
 

No feet visible. Wait, what was that by the bed ? Feet ? No, not feet, but a pair of red lace-up boots. Empty.
 

She smiled and opened the door quietly lest she wake the Bard.
 

Her "gill fiend" looked up drowsily. She noted the leathers, the confident stride, the measured breathing.
 

" Xena ? " she asked. " Yes, it is you. "
 

" Hi, Gabrielle. Been busy ? "
 

" Yeah, just got back to bed. "
 

" What kept you up ? "
 

Gabrielle smiled to herself. Would she spill the beans about her ingenious escape ? Perhaps not. It might be better to keep it until later, for the next occasion when Xena pulled out her 'you stay here it's too dangerous for a little girl like you' routine.
 

" Oh, one thing and another. Nothing important. Mm, no, there is something I should tell you: Meg's in town. I've seen her. Probably up to no good. How 'bout you ? "
 

" Meg ? She's not in town any more. I've rounded her up."
 

" You've been busy then. "
 

Xena nodded. " It's been - quite a night. "
 

" What else ya been doing ? "
 

" Routed the raiders. Caught Scabrus. Sent Joxer on the road to Thebes. We should head north in the morning, by the way. "
 

" Oh, good. But not too early. Let's have a sleep-in for once, eh ? "
 

Xena chuckled.
 

" I think I could use one myself. Want me to look at those cuts on your wrist before you nod off?"
 

" No thanks, I bound them myself. " Then she sat up with amazed eyes.
 

" Xena, my arms were under the blanket all along ! How did you know ? "
 

" I saw the blood on the arm of the chair and worked it out."
 

Gabrielle nodded and sank back onto the pillow.
 

" They told you I was there, huh ? "
 

" The subject - did come up. You weren't going to mention it?"
 

The Bard closed her eyes. " Wasn't a problem really. I did get away. You know how these things are. I can handle them. Good night, Xena."
 

Xena smiled. " Yeah, I know how these things are. "
 

She stood by the side of the bed and looked down at her. It was obvious that the girl wasn't really asleep. She could tell that from the way she was breathing.
 

" Oh, Gabrielle. One other thing. "
 

" Mm ? "
 

" Open your eyes. "
 

She did. Xena was holding a little bundle wrapped in linen, looking sheepish. Giving people presents still made her feel awkward. It just wasn't her thing.
 

" Happy birthday, Gabrielle. " she said, and handed her the package.
 

Gabrielle sat up quickly. Her face was alive with happiness.
 

" Xena ! You knew all along ! "
 

" 'Course I did. " she lied. " You think I'd forget your birthday ? "
 

" Oh - I knew you wouldn't - and you've even bought me a present ? Xena, you are... you are just wonderful, you know. "
 

The warmth in her eyes more than matched the words. Xena felt an overwhelming moment of love for the girl.
 

" Shall I unwrap it now ? "
 

" Why not ? It's well after midnight. It is the second of March. "
 

Gabrielle gasped when she saw the necklace.
 

" A diamond necklace ! Xena ! Oh, that's too much - it's just - it's just beautiful. "
 

She held the stone in front of the candle and watched the colours flicker inside it.
 

Xena laid a hand on her shoulder.
 

" I shall have to be careful to always wear this on special occasions, you know. "
 

She looked up at her lover and smiled.
 

" Thank you, Xena. Thank you. "
 

Xena tried to think of something to say.
 

" Hey. it's just - just a token. It's one way of saying what I feel. I'm not as good with words as you are."
 

She smiled a wry smile.
 

Gabrielle stood up and kissed her.
 

" Good night, Gabrielle. "
 

" Night, Xena. "
 

Gabrielle fell asleep instantly. It had been a busy evening.
 

It was another nightmare. They had been getting bad of late. She hadn't missed a night for weeks. Sometimes it even got to the screaming stage.
 

Gabrielle groaned and formulated a half coherent prayer to the God of Sleep.
 

Come on, Morpheus. You remember me: I was your fiance once. Don't you remember the girl you were going to marry ? Anyway, I wanted to ask a favour for Xena. Just let the poor woman get a decent night's sleep. No nightmares. She needs it.
 

Then, too drowsy for dishonesty, she continued:
 

And even if she doesn't sleep for Heaven's sake don't let her kick and hit out when the dreams come - I hate having to hide the bruises from her but if she sees them she only goes on another guilt trip...
 

It was at that unfortunate moment that someone knocked on the door.
 

Xena leapt out of bed wearing only her shift. She uttered an incoherent little cry and grabbed the door handle, reaching into her bosom as she did.
 

Gabrielle knew what she always kept there. " Xena ! " she called in alarm.
 

But it was almost too late. Xena had flung the door open and pulled out the breast dagger.
 

Empedocles stood outside, his face almost circular in its alarm as he beheld the dishevelled woman with flying hair lunging at him with a knife raised in her right hand.
 

" WAKE UP ! " Gabrielle screamed.
 

Empedocles demonstrated his courage by hurling himself to the floor and covering his head with his hands. Xena stumbled at the doorway and then stood blankly, looking left and right. Finally she put the dagger away.
 

Empedocles looked up and began to stammer.
 

" Sorry.. sorry.. " he repeated.
 

" Don't worry. It just doesn't pay to wake me too suddenly. " she commented dryly.
 

Then she reached down and offered him a hand. He took it gingerly and hauled himself to his feet.
 

" I - I thought - there was something that I thought you had to know. " he continued.
 

" What was that ? "
 

" Meg and Scabrus have told me what they were doing last night before they grabbed Gabrielle. "
 

" Oh ? "
 

" Yes. It's kind of complicated. Meg had a bag full of jewellery, valuables, all sorts of stuff. "
 

" Stolen goods ? "
 

" Well, yes - and no. "
 

Xena sighed. " Can you be slightly more specific ? "
 

" They weren't exactly stolen. As such. "
 

" That narrows it down. "
 

" Apparently Scabrus had spotted you in the jewellery market getting something at a discount. So he got Meg to impersonate you and went round the stalls doing a Warrior Princess imitation and demanding things cheaply. Apparently got away with it, for the most part. It was quite a fraud. "
 

Xena said nothing for a few seconds, but her expression hardened.
 

Then Empedocles went on:
 

" The dealers had no idea at first. They all thought they'd been doing you a personal favour. It was only later that they all found they'd been played the same trick. Your name... well, well your name wasn't very popular afterwards. "
 

Empedocles looked at Gabrielle, but she said nothing.
 

Xena's expression grew grimmer.
 

" That woman. " she finally said, " has been using my name - my name - to rob people. "
 

" I'm afraid so. They still don't know the difference between you and her. "
 

" I - I don't know what to say, Empedocles. If I had known that when I got my hands on her earlier, I'm not sure what I would have done. I don't think it would have been nice."
 

" We'll have to apologise to them all, of course, and explain that it wasn't you - "
 

" Apologise ! We'll do more than that. This has to be set right. You've still got all the stuff that they bought ? "
 

" I think it's all there. "
 

" As soon as the market opens, Empedocles, we will have to go round and give it back. All of it. To its rightful owners. "
 

Empedocles nodded. " Yes, that would be just. " he agreed.
 

" So when does the market open ? " she asked.
 

" Not for a couple of hours yet. "
 

" Fine. That gives me another couple of hours to sleep. Empedocles, I'll meet you down in the tap room for breakfast." She yawned. " Sleep first, then food, then justice. Got to get things in the right order. "
 

She closed the door and returned to bed. Gabrielle tried to avoid looking at the expression on her face.
 

Meg alternately snivelled and complained, but remained relatively subdued in Xena's presence.
 

Xena herself showed little emotion, simply quietly demanding of Meg the provenance of each item in her little sack, and returning every piece to its original owner with the minimum of comment. Empedocles tagged along behind, babbling a somewhat incoherent account of the situation whenever opportunity permitted.
 

Xena had decreed that the jewellery be returned without the raider's money being refunded. The vendors, for obvious reasons, raised little in the way of objections, and any queries about her right to dictate this were silenced by the look smouldering in her eyes.
 

Finally the sack was empty.
 

Xena turned to Meg with a grim expression.
 

" That's it, then. You're sure there's nothing else you ought to be telling me about ? "
 

Meg shook her head.
 

" You'd better be very sure you haven't forgotten anything!" Xena snapped, with a hint of her anger showing through. " If you think I'm annoyed at you now - "
 

" No, Xena, really, that's the lot. "
 

" Then there's just one last thing to say. I will not put up with you damaging my reputation like this again ! If you dare - if you ever dare - to try anything - well, the world will become a less confusing place. "
 

Meg raised her eyebrows in perplexity.
 

" What I mean is that there will be one less Xena look-alike to confuse people. And don't think I wouldn't do it. You got that?"
 

Meg nodded dumbly.
 
 
 

Gabrielle sighed. She had been following the group round the market, saying nothing, simply watching. She seemed lost in her own thoughts. She always hated seeing Xena angry, and this was the angriest she had been in a long time. Having Meg threaten her good name must really get to her.
 

But there was something else that was bothering her, a more personal quandary.
 

She watched as Empedocles dragged Meg back to wherever the local authorities were holding the survivors of the gang.
 

Xena stood with arms folded, watching her look-alike depart, but saying nothing.
 

Finally Gabrielle came to her decision.
 

" Mm. Look, Xena, before we go, there's something I have to do. "
 

Xena said nothing. Her expression remained neutral.
 

" I won't be long. You'll meet me back here in five minutes?"
 

" I'm not going anywhere, Gabrielle. Do whatever you have to do. I'll be here. " Her voice was distant.
 

Gabrielle felt a sudden impulse to throw her arms around her, hug her, show her that she still loved her, that somebody still cared: but it wouldn't do. Not here in public.
 

Instead she disappeared round the corner, clutching a small linen bundle in her hand. She returned in considerably less than the five minutes. Xena was still emulating a statue.
 

That was a bad sign. She was definitely not happy. When she went into her silent phases they could last for days.
 

Gabrielle stood in front of her and made eye contact. Xena's brilliant blue eyes locked onto hers without obvious emotion. At least she wasn't looking away.
 

The young girl met her gaze, grim but determined.
 

" Xena: Listen to me. I had to give that diamond back. I've returned it to the trader you bought it from. "
 

Xena nodded, her face impenetrable.
 

" I want to tell you why I did that. I want to because it's important to me. Xena, I was very happy to have a gift from you, and - I valued it - not for itself, but because you had given it to me. "
 

" But there's something more important to me than any object, and that's your reputation. I had to decide whether to keep something I treasured, or give it up for the sake of your good name, and I chose to give it up. "
 

Xena had retreated further into herself. She looked away from Gabrielle, towards the horizon.
 

Gabrielle went on:
 

" Supposing I had kept it. Everyone would say that we had left one fraud unresolved, that we hadn't made restitution for all the bogus demands. How was that dealer to know that you were the real Xena when all the others had been robbed by Meg? He'd still feel suckered. Who could blame him ? And he'd complain. I couldn't risk it. I won't have anyone saying or thinking things like that about you. "
 

She paused.
 

" That's all I can say, Xena. Please understand and don't take it as a rejection. "
 

The taller woman came to a decision, and her face resumed a little of its mobility. She placed a hand tenderly on Gabrielle's shoulder.
 

" I guessed what you were planning. I always seem to put you into these spots, don't I ? " she said reflectively.
 

" Gabrielle, you are the most ethical person I have ever met. I'm not much good at ethics myself. I tend to take the slash and crash approach. It... it isn't really fair on you, because it leaves you to make the hard decisions. The ethical ones. "
 

She smiled: and sniffed. Gabrielle looked at her eyes in shock. They were a little misty. Good heavens !
 

She put her own small hand on top of Xena's and gripped those solid fingers in her own.
 

" I don't know what to say. Perhaps - no, I'd only get mushy."
 

She gave Xena's calluses a good squeeze.
 

" You're not so bad yourself, Warrior Princess. "
 

Xena gave a sad little smile.
 

" There are times when I wonder if I deserve a friend like you. Anyway... bags all packed ? "
 

" Of course. "
 

" I don't know about you, Gabrielle, but I've had enough of this dump. I'd like to head off. "
 

Gabrielle nodded.
 

" There are nicer places in Greece. Let's find one. "
 

" Do you remember Amphitrace ? "
 

" Amphitrace ? Bit of a dump, wasn't it, out near Epidaurus?"
 

" That's the place. "
 

" We were there about eighteen months ago, on our way through to - somewhere else, I don't remember it too clearly."
 

" Can you remember what we did at Amphitrace ? " Xena persisted.
 

" Not much, surely ? All I can recall is that we turned up without supplies and the locals talked us into eating this loose pig that had been rooting through their fields at night. Tough old thing. Worst barbecue we ever had. "
 

Xena laughed. " Do you know, that's how I recall it too. Strange, isn't it, the things people remember you for. Do you know we're famous for doing that ? "
 

" Famous ! I can't believe it. "
 

Gabrielle pursed her lips.
 

" Really was the toughest meat I ever ate. Perhaps they remember us for our powers of mastication. "
 

Xena turned abruptly to her companion.
 

" Gabrielle ! Really ! They couldn't have known ... "
 

The Bard giggled.
 

" Chewing, Xena, chewing. "
 

" Oh. "
 

They continued to walk out of the village. Soon they had left the buildings behind them and were surrounded by trees again.
 

" Xena ? "
 

" Yes, Gabrielle ? "
 

" Can I ask you something ?... When is your birthday ?"
 

The taller woman looked at her companion in surprise.
 

" My birthday ? " she replied sharply.
 

It was simply a question one did not ask of Warrior Princesses.
 

" Yes... " Gabrielle bit her lower lip, looked into her companion's face. " If you don't mind me asking. "
 

" Oh... you can ask me anything, Gabrielle, you should know that. But my birthday.... " she paused for a second. " I don't remember, I'm afraid. It's been so long since the subject came up."
 

It was Gabrielle's turn to look surprised.
 

" You don't remember ? Come on, Xena, you must be able to remember your own birthday. "
 

She shrugged. " All those years in camp, Gabrielle.... armies and fighting, all that hatred. I was the Destroyer of Nations for too long. I was consumed by it. Destroyers of Nations don't have birthdays, it really doesn't fit the image. Somewhere along the line the date must have slipped my mind. "
 

Gabrielle tried to smile, tried to make a joke of it, but Xena knew her well enough to see that there was no humour in her eyes. Gabrielle was so sensitive, anything that reminded her of Xena's past pain hurt her; and yet she always tried to hide that hurt. Perhaps she didn't want to add to her guilt.
 

" No... can't imagine Borias or Darphus just throwing you a surprise birthday party, can we ? " She made a good attempt at chuckling, then her voice grew more serious.
 

" But you're stuck with me now, Xena, and your happiness is important. To me. "
 

Xena threw her an appreciative glance, but the reserve was still there. She couldn't let all her barriers down, and Gabrielle's question had both surprised her, and, in a curious way, embarrassed her.
 

So... what would I have done if Borias had marched into my tent one morning, carrying a cake with candles on it, and started to sing 'Happy Birthday' ?
 

A wry smile pulled at the corners of her lips. She just couldn't imagine it happening. He wasn't the sort. Did he have birthdays ? Perhaps he did. But she would never have known of them.
 

What would I have done ? - I know. I remember what I was then. I would have... exploded, probably taken it as an insult, slit his throat. If it was a good day and he was lucky, I might just have decorated his face with the cake.
 

Gabrielle continued to talk.
 

" You could share my birthday. We could be like twins. "
 

" Gabrielle ! I couldn't do that ! "
 

" Why not ? "
 

" Birthdays are - a special day for each person. It would be like robbing you. It'd take some of the importance away. "
 

The voices fade into the distance as the women disappear down the track.
 

" We could simply invent a birthday for you. "
 

" What an idea ! "
 

" Or maybe I'll just ask Cyrene when I see her next. "
 

" You could do that. "
 

There is a pause, then:
 

" Gabrielle ? "
 

" Mm ? "
 

" Thank you for caring. "
 

" Love you, Xena. "
 

Please don't e-mail me to tell me that the Ancient Greeks didn't celebrate birthdays the way we do. I know that already. As far as I'm concerned, if Renaissance Pictures can have the girls meeting Abraham one week and Julius Caesar the next, I can write about Gabrielle getting a birthday present.
 
 
 

(c) "Salmonellus" 1998