Dayzee sat there staring at the screen wondering what was happening on the other end of the line. So many questions were flying though her mind. Was she still there? Was she angry? Was she happy? Was she shocked? Damn, was she still on the line? Why am I so nervous? What has happened to my rigid control? Do I write anything else? How long should I sit here without a response? She didn't have answers for any of them. As she continued to watch the unmoving screen, she began to think about the circumstances that lead her to being in this terrible state of flux.

Dayzee had been a member of a Yahoo fan mail club for a number of months before she worked up the nerve to post her first comments to the mail list. She found that it was fun to be anonymous on line. It allowed her to drop all inhibitions and write what ever was on her mind. Her normally passive behavior fell to the wayside. She could let the bawdier side of her personality escape on line, saying what ever she wanted without worrying about her personal image. God, the freedom to finally be relaxed and open was unbelievable. She gained a confidence that would have taken her months to develop if she had met any of these new friends in person.

Dayzee would awaken from sleep rising to hit the boot button on her computer as she stripped out of her nightclothes into a comfortable outfit. She was impatient to return to her desk, to read her new mail and discover who was on line in order to open a chat. She found an excitement in reaching out to these women that currently was missing in her real life. For weeks, she had been sending sarcastic responses to comments made on the mail list. She was gaining a reputation as being the resident twit, the person most likely to lead them all into trouble. This became her contact with the outside world. All other real relationships paled in comparison to the fun that she was having on line. She had even gotten to where she ate her meals sitting in front of her computer, afraid that she would miss some of the antics that might take place.

There was one other fan in particular that Dayzee seemed to be drawn to. Her screen name was Dragonlady, Dragon for short. She lived up to her handle. Her comments were sharp and to the point sparing no one in firing range. However, there was also a tremendous amount of humor in her writings and she was right in line with Dayzee to jump into any activity that cropped up on line. Her strong personality was evident in the respect and interactions she shared with her follow members on the list. Her writing was bold and she chose a font to express her individuality on line. It was large, curved, and commanded attention whenever it was seen. Just as she did. Dayzee couldn't help wanting to know more and more of Dragon. There was some unknown element that couldn't be explained that made Dayzee look for Dragon every time she came on line.

As time passed Dragon and Dayzee traded insults and barbs faster than one could possibly read. They filled the mail postings daily with quips back and forth, each one trying to out do the other. Long after others shut down and went to bed, both women continued to chat back and forth. First, it would be by email, one writing, and the other responding. Some times long notes, most times just a short one-liner sentences. After they would exchange fifty or more emails on line, they would switch to private chat, continuing the same conversation started through email. Many times others joined their chats but more times recently, there was only the two on them on line. And so time passed.

Then one day Dayzee realized that her fascination with Dragon had grown beyond just friendship and could potentially be more. But what was more? Was it a new fondness that could be growing in to love? My god, she thought to herself. How could I feel so strongly about a person that I know nothing about beyond the conversations we have had on line? I know her humor, her sarcasm, her wit, the quickness of her mind. I have seen her reach out to members that have problems, to give them humor to lessen the woes. I have talked with her endlessly through email and chat. What is this feeling that is centered in my heart? She realized that Dragon was becoming the reason that she signed on and stayed on until the last good night was said. She looked anxiously each day for the signature "Heya Dayzee" which Dragon always used. She would respond with "G'day Drag." On the rare occasions that Dragon failed to sign on, Dayzee limped through the days and nights chatting with others on line but never with the enthusiasm reserved for Dragon. Dayzee would sit for hours watching her mail and chat window, just waiting for Dragon to sign on. When Dragon did sign on, Dayzee's heart would race, her palms would become sweaty. She would watch anxiously for the first sign that Dragon was calling to her. Her life centered on her contact with Dragon.

Weeks passed and the nightly conversations continued in the wee hours of morning. It wasn't unusual to find them on line as the alarms sounded signaling the need to rise, dress, and go to work. Sleep seemed unessential at this time as long as they could talk together. They discussed their lives, interests that they had in common, hearts aches experienced and dreams for the future. Time drew them closer to one another. Dayzee realized Dragon fascinated her and that she was beginning to feel much more for her than simple friendship. She didn't know what to do. Would Dragon feel the same? Would this cause a rift in their friendship? Dare she risk putting her heart on the line for Dragon to possibly crush? She discussed her worries with another close friend that was also on line and knew about the relationship between herself and Dragon. They called this person Abby, after Dear Abby.

Abby was one of those individuals that would listen and hear the words that were not spoken. She would ask pointed questions and give advice when she felt it would help the situation. Mostly she used her role to simply ask questions of Dayzee and Dragon that would make them think for themselves, to see other alternatives to situations. Abby loved them both equally as only close friends can do. She had the unique advantage of seeing both sides. She was the link that tied the knowledge of the relationship together. When Dragon or Dayzee found that they were unable to be open with one anther due to the seriousness of the conversation, they would turn to Abby and talk about their feelings, their happiness, their fears of saying too much too soon to one another. She listened and watched, realizing the relationship between Dayzee and Dragon was changing from simple friendship to something more. She listened as both women talked to her about the new emotions that were springing up between both Dragon and Dayzee. She stayed back, ever watchful just waiting for one or the other to come to her to talk about how they were feeling. She bided her time, knowing the situation was escalating and soon the relationship would change. The unknown factor was not being sure what real direction the relationship was going to take.

One night in a fit of boredom, Dragon and Abby entered into one of their senseless bets that had been going on for weeks between them. This time the stakes were larger than ever before. Dragon and Abby placed a bet on who would stay up the latest with the full intention that neither of them would go to bed before daylight. The stakes took on peculiar life of their own. This time the prize was going to be one uninterrupted night in Vegas with Dayzee. This would occur on the weekend the fanfic team would make their elusive trip to Vegas to meet one another. The bet was proposed by Abby, knowing full well that she would win with her history of staying up all night. The prize proposed by Dragon had a slight twist to it. The loser would be given to Dayzee to do with as she pleased. Dragon knew that she would never be able to outlast Abby and she wanted to win the uninterrupted night with Dayzee. Dayzee was given control of how the evening would be spent. The only problem was that both Dragon and Abby failed to let Dayzee in on their little bet until much later into the next day. As it turned out, Dayzee did become a little miffed at the bet (and that is putting it pretty mildly). The other two women began to feel guilty for making such a stupid bet. Dragon had made the bet because she wanted to spend more time with Dayzee. Abby knew how Dragon felt. She knew she could win and help Dragon's pursuit of Dayzee. Well the unexpected happened. Dayzee blew her top. She came down hard on both parties, accusing them of being unfeeling and using her as a boobie prize. Dragon couldn't stand the thought of Dayzee being angry at her so she cheated and declared Abby the loser. It didn't matter how much Abby fought with Dragon, she refused to change the outcome of the bet. The wrong person would be spending time with Dayzee. In a side bar, Abby and Dayzee discussed how the bet and the prize had been determined. It was at this point that Dayzee realized Dragon may be starting to feel some of the same fascination with her that she was feeling toward Dragon.

Now the time has come, Dayzee couldn't think. She couldn't sleep. Chatting was painful as she thought of how her feelings for Dragon were changing, how she wanted to explore this deeper emotion that she was developing for Dragon. She waited patiently until she saw Abby sign onto Yahoo. She quickly opened a chat window with Abby, needing desperately to talk to someone who wouldn't judge her actions as she thought through what direction she should take toward Dragon. Abby listened patiently as Dayzee poured her heart out, talking about how much Dragon has come to mean to her and how she wanted the relationship to move to a more intimate level. Abby listened receptively as Dayzee talked about the reasons she felt as she did toward Dragon. Dayzee discussed the hours she and Dragon shared intimate knowledge with one another. Abby did not ask for details, as she was able to discern from the conversation that Dayzee was falling in love with Dragon. Finally, Dayzee stopped talking, there was nothing more for her to say. She wrote one last question to Abby, hoping to find an answer to her dilemma of finding herself in love with Dragon. She wrote carefully and clearly to Abby, "Abby, do I tell her that I am falling in love with her?"

Abby thought for a few minutes before writing back to Dayzee. Dayzee waited patiently, knowing her entire future rested on what Abby wrote back to her. She watched the screen, seeing the message that Abby was typing. She hyperventilated, ran her sweaty palms up and down her pants legs, and fidgeted around in her chair as she waited to see the words that Abby was writing. "What do you have to lose?" My God! What kind of response is that? Does that mean I tell her or do I remain quiet? What do I tell her? All these thoughts ran through Dayzee's mind as she stared at that one sentence from Abby.

"What do you have to lose?" Dayzee started typing back to Abby. "I could lose my best friend, Dragon. I could lose the reason that I wake each day. I could lose the person who has grown to understand me better than any other woman that I have ever known. I could lose the laughter that has come into my life. But more importantly, I could lose this love that is growing in my heart."

Abby read what Dayzee was writing. She placed her fingers on the keyboard and again typed. "If you tell her, what do you have to lose? But more importantly, what do you have to gain? Life is a series of unexpected challenges. If you never seek the answer you will never have the knowledge." Dayzee sat there not responding as she re-read what Abby had written. Yes, she had the choice to leave the relationship exactly as it was or she could take the chance and find more love in her life than she ever expected. There had been enough communication between Dragon and herself that she sensed Dragon cared more deeply for her than they had discussed. She could hide her love from Dragon but was that what she wanted? On the other hand, she could take the chance and let Dragon know what was happening in her heart. This would at least make a change in the relationship. Either it could begin to grow with love, or it could die immediately. The answer would lie with Dragon's response.

Dayzee sat up in her chair and typed back to Abby, "I am going to let her know. Please stay with me; I may need your support if this doesn't go well." Abby responded, "You know I am always here should you ever need me for anything that is within my power to give. Go. Take care of your business. I will remain on line should you need me."

Dayzee knew Dragon was still at work but this burning knowledge to tell her how she felt could not wait till Dragon was home. She opened her mail, typed in Dragon's address for her cell phone and typed in the following text page: " Dragon, I am falling more each day in love with you." Nothing more, nothing less. She hit send and the text was on its way.

Fifteen minutes went by. No response from Dragon was forth coming. Dayzee turned to Abby and stated, "I sent the text telling her how I felt, no message returned." Abby wrote back telling her to be patient, to allow Dragon time to absorb what was written, to allow her to think before expecting a response. Abby knew that Dragon also had strong feelings for Dayzee from the private conversations that she had in the past with Dragon. She wasn't sure how Dragon would respond because Dragon had a lot of difficulty being open with strong emotions. When incidents happened that touched her passionately, her tendency was to hide behind humor and laughter. Abby worried that Dragon might be unable to answer this text. Time would hold the answer and it wouldn't nor couldn't be rushed.

For the next two hours, Dayzee continued to shoot quick one-liners to Abby letting her know that she still had not heard back from Dragon. Abby continually reassured Dayzee to hang in there and wait, that eventually Dragon would reply.

As Dayzee sat waiting for a response these thoughts continually flooded her mind. Was she still there? Was she angry? Was she happy? Was she shocked? Damn, was she still on the line? Why am I so nervous? What has happened to my rigid control? Do I write anything else? How long should I sit here without a response? Now she still waits patiently eager needing to hear from Dragon but scared to death that her life may be changed forever. Either she would be ecstatically happy or plummeted to the depths of despair.

Suddenly, she heard the windows mail alert, notifying her that new mail had arrived. Her hands shook as she reached out to touch the mouse to open the message. She saw the header and realized it was from Dragon. Tears came to her eyes, her heart raced, she felt sick to her stomach. Okay, it was now or never, her future lay within this note from Dragon. She attempted to open the message several times but always just as she was ready to click it open, she would pull her hand back. Not sure that she was ready for the answer she sat there staring at the message for another fifteen minute. Finally, taking a deep breath, she clicked on the open tab. The message opened in front of her. She held her breath as she read the following text: "Honey, what a time to tell me something like this when I can't responded the way that I would like to. I need to talk with you as soon as I get home but my response is, ME TOO."

Dayzee burst into tears, her heart swelled with all the new emotions. She quickly pulled up Abby's address to let her know that she had finally heard and that Dragon was falling in love with her too.

Abby sat there staring at what Dayzee had just written to her. She thought about these two wonderful women and the new relationship that was quickly developing. She knew from her years of experience in watching relationships that there would be good times and bad times ahead for both of them. Silently she said a quick prayer that the love they felt would be enough to sustain their long distance romance and that their love would continue to grow and be all that they wanted it to be. She smiled quietly to herself and sighed thinking how wonderful to find the right love connection.

Feedback to : the_shadylady_629@yahoo.com


Copyright © 2003 by Shadylady. All Rights Reserved.