Chapter 43

 

Jordanna looked in the rear view mirror of the Pathfinder and saw Cindy's dark curls whipping in the wind. "Is it too windy back there for you, sweetheart?"

The young girl looked up from the child's book that she was reading. "No, it feels good, Jor."

The dark-haired woman placed her hand on top of her partners. "How 'bout you, are you alright?"

The reporter turned and gazed at Jordanna, who had two braids in her hair along the sides of her face, but the rest of it was down and blowing in the wind. "I'm fine, love. There's nothing like a drive on a beautiful summer day. It's a shame that your new convertible won't be ready to be picked up until next week."

The drummer broke out into a smile when she thought about the day they went and picked out their new white Mercedes SL500 convertible. "Yeah, me, too."

"You're such a big baby, you know that?"

Jordanna shrugged. "And you love me for it, don't you?"

"You got me on that one. Are you going to let me drive it?"

"Weeeellll… I'm not sure," the drummer teased.

"Oh, C'mon!"

"Of course you can drive it, Rebecca. It is our car." Jordanna pulled the Pathfinder into the left hand turning lane and waited for the arrow to turn green. "Where does it say to go from here, baby?"

Rebecca looked at the piece of paper that Jordanna wrote the directions down on. "Take this to the end and make a left. It's the second house on the right hand side."

Jordanna pulled up in front of the address her father gave her over the phone and looked around. The house was a two-story colonial home overlooking the bay, with a dock running behind all the houses on that side of the street. "This is a nice area," she muttered and knew then that her father certainly wasn't in need of any money, at least to live on anyway.

The butterflies started to kick in half way into the hour drive from Amagansett to Bayport as she thought about the day ahead of her. Would they like her? Would she like them? How would they treat Rebecca and Cindy? Could she possibly get past the hurt of the past?

"Yeah, it's beautiful here," Rebecca responded.

"Huh?" Jordanna asked, still immersed in her own thoughts.

"I was just agreeing that it's a nice area. I didn't realize there was so much water around here."

"Well, it is an island, Rebecca. That usually would mean it would be surrounded by water."

The reporter stuck her tongue out at her lover. "You think you're so funny, don't you?"

"I don't want to be funny," the drummer teased. "I just want to be incredibly irresistible to you."

"That, my love…" she said before she leaned over and kissed Jordanna, "…you are."

A young voice spoke out from the back seat of the car. "Ugh… not again!"

"Hey kid, no complaints from you." Rebecca turned to look at her smirking daughter in the back, a trait, she realized, the kid was picking up from Jordanna. "Just wait until you meet your first boyfriend, Cynthia Marie."

"Ewww Mom, I'm not kissing no boys." Cindy made a face at her mother. "Yuck!"

"Yeah, kissing boys, yuck." Jordanna repeated and winked at her lover.

"Don't you start, too, Jor," the reporter said as she unbuckled her seatbelt. Taking a deep breath, she quickly got out of the Pathfinder and opened the back door for Cindy. She watched Jordanna, dressed in white jean shorts and a red tank top, slowly walk around the SUV to greet them. She took the dark-haired woman's hand in her own. "Are you alright?"

The drummer answered quickly, and without much thought. "Nervous."

"It will be fine, love." Rebecca looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. "We have an audience. Must be your siblings wanting to get a look at their famous big sister."

The drummer laughed. "I know, I see all the eyes peering through the bushes over there," she whispered, looking to the right side of the yard. They continued their walk up the driveway holding hands, with Cindy walking slightly in front of them, carrying the tray of sausage and peppers that Rebecca made. "Mommy, Jor… look," Cindy said and started to walk toward a flock of geese on the lawn.

"We have a lot of them around here," Thomas explained, greeting the three of them at the gate on the side of the house. "They can be nasty. They'll peck at you if you get too close so try to stay away from them, okay?"

Cindy nodded her understanding. Thomas ruffled the hair on the top of her head and gave his daughter and Rebecca hugs. "Actually, sweetie," he crouched down said to the child, "I was warning Jordanna about them."

"Hey." The drummer glared at her father. "What did I do?"

"You were a handful as a child, kid, don't play all innocent with me. You may have been quiet, but that usually means trouble."

As they walked into the back of the yard, the first thing Jordanna noticed was the boat tied to the dock. "Yours?"

Rebecca tugged on her arm. "Look at the name of the boat, love."

Jordanna looked at the boat again, and noticed the script letters painted in blue across the back.

 

JULIA

Bayport, Long Island

 

She sucked in a breath. "You named the boat after…"

He looked over at his boat with a half smile, unsure if Jordanna would appreciate the gesture or not. "Yep, after you."

She cleared her throat and spoke, her voice weak with emotion. "Do you take her out often?"

"We try to get out every other weekend or so. Do you have a boat?"

"No," the drummer answered, shaking her head for emphasis. "I've considered buying one but I'm not home enough, so it really doesn't pay. Besides, Rebecca gets seasick," she chuckled and looked at her lover.

Thomas turned to Rebecca. "Have you tried using the sea bands?"

Rebecca shook her head. "Nope, can't say I have."

"Try them, they really work. Heather uses them every time we go out." He turned back to his daughter. "I remember how much you loved it when we'd go out to Captree State Park and go fishing when you were young. "

The drummer blinked a few times, and then looked away. "What I loved was spending the time with you," she said quietly, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"We could do that again, Jordanna. Just you, the bait, and me" he suggested, a slight twinkle lighting up his blue eyes. "And Rebecca and Cindy, of course."

A smile made it's way across the dark-haired woman's face. "I'd really like that."

"Good, it's a date. But before then," he said and pointed to his wife and children, who were curiously hovering around them, but trying not to be too noticeable. "These guys have been anxiously waiting for you to arrive."

He introduced them to Heather first who, Jordanna thought, was even prettier in person than in the photo that her father showed them. She could tell Heather felt slightly uncomfortable during the introduction, but wasn't sure if it had to do with the closeness in their ages, the drummer's celebrity status, or her sexual orientation.

With the slightly tense introduction to Heather out of the way, he introduced them to Kathleen, who stood out in the crowd by wearing her hair cut short in a copper shade on one side and long in an eggplant shade, on the other. Her lips sported black lipstick, a look that would make Marilyn Manson terribly proud. Just by her stance, in a defensive pose with her arms crossed in front of her chest, the drummer could tell that it was going to be tough breaking down this specific sister's walls. "Nice tat," the girl said as she got a look at the drummer's shoulder. "What is it?"

'Exactly what it looks like,' Jordanna wanted to say, but didn't. "It's Rebecca's and my initials entwined in a heart," the drummer answered. "Rebecca's got the same one on her ankle. We got them done when we were on our honeymoon."

"Really?" Kathleen looked at Rebecca, who turned her leg to the side so she could get a better look at her tattoo. "It's cool."

"Thanks." Jordanna looked at the girl's eyebrow ring. "Nice jewelry by the way." She heard her father groan at the comment and started to laugh. "What, you don't approve?"

"Not you too, Jordanna." He looked at her with a glare much like her own. "Don't you encourage her with these crazy things."

"What did I say?" she asked, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess I won't tell you about my body jewelry, then."

Kathleen looked at Jordanna's face, noticing she had no piercings there. "Where do you have it? Do you have a navel ring?"

"No, I have my nip…"

Rebecca covered her lover's mouth just as she was about to tell them about her nipple rings. "Jordanna!"

"What's the big deal? You have one, too." She shrugged again. "It's just jewelry."

"Just jewelry… hmph," her father groaned. "It's not just the jewelry, Jordanna, it's the fact that my daughter goes to school every day looking like a character from a horror movie."

"Dad!" Kathleen pleaded, embarrassed by her father once again.

"And please, Jordanna," her father continued. "Don't tell me where you have one. I don't really need to know that."

"I have two, actually," she answered with a smirk, enjoying seeing her father squirm.

His lip twitched and he decided to ignore her comment, taking the time to continue with the introductions. "Um… Jordanna, this is your protégé here, Maggie." Maggie stood patiently, waiting for her turn to be introduced to her idol. "Hey, Maggie," the drummer said, giving the much more receptive girl a hug. "I hear you play the drums, too. Maybe we could jam a little later on or something."

The kid was speechless. "Yeah. That would be cool."

The drummer turned to her younger brother. "And you, handsome, must be Timmy."

He beamed. "Hi, sis. So, who is the babe?" he asked in his 11-year-old voice.

Jordanna burst out laughing at his forwardness. "Which babe are you talking about, Timmy? I came with two."

"Her." He pointed to Rebecca. "She's just a kid," he said about Cindy, who pouted at the comment.

"This is Rebecca," she answered, pointing to her smiling partner. Jordanna crouched down next to the young boy. "Were you flirting with her?"

"Yeah, she's hot." A cherubic smile broke across his face. "Who is she to you, though?"

'You're not kidding, he's just like me,' the drummer thought and chuckled lowly. "She's my, um…" She looked over at Rebecca who put her hand on her shoulder. How do I explain this? "She's my… wife."

"Your wife? But you’re a girl!" Timmy commented emphatically.

Heather cut in on the conversation. "Remember what your father and I told you the other day. Your sister is married to Rebecca. Just like your father and I are married."

Jordanna wondered if Heather practiced that little speech beforehand and laughed to herself.

Timmy's face took on a look of confusion, and then he smiled. "Oh, yeah, I remember now. Do you two sleep together?"

Jordanna's eyes opened wide and Rebecca couldn't help but laugh. "Timmy, did anyone ever tell you that you ask WAY too many questions?" the dark-haired woman asked.

"That's quite enough, young man," Thomas jumped in and scolded his son.

"What did I do? Maggie told me to ask her that question," the young boy answered, tattling on his older sister. "She wanted to know."

"I did not!" the embarrassed young girl exclaimed, and turned to walk away.

"Did, too!"

"Okay guys, let's give Jordanna and Rebecca a break now." Thomas walked them to the porch area where they had quite a few tables set up. "Drinks are in the cooler over there, please help yourself."

Both Rebecca and Cindy sat down at a table while Jordanna went to the cooler. The dark-haired woman pulled out a bottle of Budweiser and lifted it up so Rebecca could see what it was. She pulled out a can of soda and another bottle of Bud when her lover nodded, and made her way back to the table.

"Here you go, babe," she said, imitating her little brother, and eased her long frame into the chair next to Rebecca's.

Rebecca took the beer from Jordanna, and wiped off the top of Cindy's can of soda, before she opened it up for her. Nervously, she began amusing herself by spinning the bottle caps from the beer on the table. "You calling me your wife sounded really strange, but in a very wonderful way."

The drummer nodded and put her hand on Rebecca's to stop her from playing with the bottle caps. "I just didn't know how to explain it so he would understand, Rebecca. I don't think he would understand partner, you know?" She took a pull on her beer and set it back down on the table. "I guess that's what you are to me though, huh? And I'm yours… strange." She sighed. "Even though it's not legal to the rest of the world, in my heart it is."

"It is in my heart, too." Rebecca took Jordanna's hand and put it over her heart. "That's all that matters."

The rest of the afternoon was spent getting to know the other members of the family and friends, some Jordanna vaguely remembered, and some she didn't remember at all. Midday they decided to play a friendly game of volleyball, with Thomas and Jordanna as team captains. The dark-haired woman picked her sisters and brother to be on her team, along with Rebecca and a few others. Cindy gladly volunteered to retrieve the ball when it went out of play, which was quite often. Jordanna's team won by a landslide, and they ended the game giving each other hi-fives.

After the game was finished, Jordanna slipped away and followed Maggie into the house. They descended the stairs into a medium sized room with a drum set and a few other instruments in it. Jordanna smiled as she got a look at her sister's drums, noticing that they were pretty much an exact copy of her set, although a slightly different model that was not meant to use for touring.

The young girl seemed very nervous. "Can you play something, Jordanna?"

The dark-haired woman took a sip of her beer, and then put it down on a table. "Why don't you play something first, Maggie. I want to hear you play."

"Okay," the young girl said timidly. She sat down behind the drums, picked up her sticks and looked up at her big sister. "What do you want me to play?"

"Play how you feel… whatever comes to you… whatever moves you."

"All I feel is nervous," Maggie admitted, looking up at Jordanna through her long blonde bangs.

Jordanna noticed her sister's hands were shaking so much she could barely hold the sticks in her hand. "Don't be, it's only me."

Maggie laughed. "It's only you? You are only the best drummer I have ever heard in my life."

"Maggie," the drummer said as she walked around the drum set, and stood behind her younger sister so she couldn't see her. "I get nervous when we play in front of large crowds, just try to forget that I'm here. Close your eyes and play to whatever audience lives there, okay?"

"Um, I'll try." Maggie's relaxed her shoulders and she went to work on the set, showing Jordanna her vast talent. The dark-haired woman smiled brightly, determining that her younger sister had a natural talent for the instrument. She watched the girl's footing, and noticed that most of her strength was there, and surmised that her stick work wasn't lacking either.

When Maggie finished, she opened her eyes and saw that not only was Jordanna standing there watching, but Rebecca and the rest of the guests were watching her as well. She locked eyes with Jordanna, looking for some sort of comment and instead got a big hug from the dark-haired woman, who was very impressed with her skills and told her so. Rebecca hugged the young girl, too. "You were great, Maggie. I actually thought it was Jordanna playing when we heard you from outside. Your style is a lot like hers."

Not used to all of the attention, Maggie turned a deep shade of red. "Thanks." She turned to Jordanna, hoping to get the focus off of her. "Can you play something for us now?"

"Sure," the dark-haired woman said. She started to walk to the drum set but stopped. Instead she took off her wedding band and walked up to Rebecca. "Hold this for me, baby." Rebecca took her lover's ring and slipped it on her thumb without much thought, knowing that Jordanna found it irritating to play with rings of any kind on. She smiled at the image the thought conjured up in her head. Rings of any kind on her fingers at least.

The dark-haired woman slipped behind the drums and looked out at all the new friends and family watching, and she herself felt a bit nervous. Doing what she told Maggie to do, she closed her eyes and played for a good 15 minutes before she opened them again. Everyone was still standing there silently watching her play, and she noticed the look of adoration coming from Rebecca and Cindy, which she was very used to, and also the same looks coming from Maggie and her father. She smiled at them as her solo came to a close, and rose from the chair. "That's all folks," she said, doing her best Porky Pig impression for everyone in the room. "I'd like to work alone with Maggie a little more," she turned to her sister. "If that's okay with you."

"Yeah, that would be great."

Rebecca walked up to Jordanna and slipped her arms around her lover's waist. "I love watching you play," she whispered in her ear. "You make drumming look so sexy."

The drummer lifted a dark brow at the comment. "I do, huh?" she whispered back. "Will you be okay outside with my family for a while?"

"Sure. You and Maggie have some bonding to do." Rebecca smiled and smacked the dark-haired woman on the butt. "Spend some time with your sister."

"Thanks." Jordanna kissed her lover briefly, and Rebecca turned and went out to join the others. When the drummer turned back around, she saw her sister watching her with interest. "Sorry," she said and cleared her throat. "Does, um… does that bother you, Maggie?"

Maggie narrowed her brown eyes and shook her blonde head. "What? Public affection?"

"No… I mean yeah, but with two women?"

"No, um…"the flustered young girl answered. "It doesn't bother me at all. It's plain to see you and Rebecca love each other a lot, Jordanna." She scratched her head nervously. "You should be able to show your affection as much as anyone else does."

"I'm glad you feel that way." The drummer smiled at her. "I really don't want to make anyone here uncomfortable."

"Jordanna?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you a couple questions?"

"Sure." The dark-haired woman picked up her beer and walked over to the couch sitting in the corner of the room and sat down. "Come sit down next to me and we can talk."

Maggie crossed the room with uncertainty, and sat down next to Jordanna. "Um…"

Jordanna realized that the young girl seemed reluctant to ask her whatever questions she wanted to ask, and was pretty sure she knew what they were going to be about. "Maggie, look, I know we don't know each other very well, but I still am your sister and I want you to know you can talk to me about anything, okay? I'll try to answer any questions you have as honestly as I can. I won't judge you and anything you say to me stays between us."

"Have you been gay your whole life?" the young girl finally asked.

Jordanna chuckled at the forwardness of the question. "Yes, for as long as I can remember."

"How old were you when you realized it?"

"I knew when I was very young. I always liked girls more than boys, but I really didn't understand what that meant." She sighed. "I think I was a little older than you when it all started to make sense to me. That I could possibly be more attracted to a woman than a man and actually have a serious relationship with one."

Maggie twirled a drumstick around in her hand nervously. "Oh."

Jordanna grabbed the other drumstick and did the same. "Why do you ask?" She shifted in her seat and faced her younger sister. "Do you think…"

"NO!" Maggie cut her off at the pass and changed the subject quickly. "Why isn't your last name Smith?"

"My last name is Smith, and ignoring things doesn't make them go away, Maggie. I would know."

Maggie ignored Jordanna's last comment, and continued on. "But you use Fox."

The drummer decided to leave it alone, at least for now. "It's not my real name. Smith isn't a very musician friendly name, so I changed it."

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone?" the young girl asked the drummer.

"I promise." Jordanna never had to have the 'being gay isn't that bad of a thing' talk with anyone yet. Her mind started racing for the right things to say.

"My name isn't really Maggie."

The drummer let out a relieved breath. "No?" Oh, thank God, no need for a speech. She remembered what her father said about the young girl's real name and decided to go along with the conversation. "It's not?"

"It's really Margaret," she whispered, so low that Jordanna barely heard her.

"Margaret's a nice name."

"It's so old fashioned. I hate it."

The drummer leaned forward and spoke softly. "Can you keep a secret, Maggie? You have to promise not to tell anyone this. Only Dad and Rebecca know this about me."

Maggie smiled brightly, feeling honored that the drummer would want to share a secret with her. "Yeah, I can keep a secret. What is it?"

"I have an old fashioned first name, too."

Maggie shook her head in disagreement, not waiting to hear the rest of what Jordanna had to say. "No way! Your first name is soooo cool!"

"Jordanna's not my real name, either. It's really…" Maggie looked at her with big, dark eyes. "Well, my name is really Julia. I changed it to Jordanna a long time ago."

"Like our boat? They named our boat after you?"

The drummer nodded. "Yeah, I guess they did."

"Oh, God! That really is old fashioned!" the young girl said, oozing excitement. "What's your middle name?"

"Elizabeth."

"Elizabeth?" The young girl smirked and stifled a chuckle. "Jordanna Fox is really Julia Elizabeth Smith?"

Jordanna raised a brow and smiled, glad that she could make her sister feel better. "You think it's funny. What's your middle name, Margaret?" she asked, putting emphasis on her sister's real name.

"Catherine."

"That's not so bad," the drummer admitted.

"I still don't like it," the young girl said quietly. "So, if Jordanna's not your real name, where did you come up with the name?"

This was a question that the drummer knew she couldn't answer truthfully, or at least the complete truth. "An old girlfriend mentioned the name Jordanna to me once. I thought it was cool, so I kept it." The drummer thought back many years prior; picturing the very naked blonde woman, whose name she never knew, screaming the name Jordanna out at the top of her lungs, as she came fast and furious after the drummer turned her inside out, and rocked her world. "The way she said it made me really like the name."

"Really? What about Fox?"

"My agent picked that one out for me." 'He most certainly didn't scream it out in any kind of passion,' the drummer mused, and almost cracked a smile at the horrific thought.

"You have an agent?" Maggie asked with excitement, interested in hearing anything that had to do with the behind the scenes happenings in the music world, and anything that had to do with her idol.

"Yeah, I do," the drummer answered quickly, returning to their prior conversation. "So you see, Margaret is not such a bad name after all."

"Wow, I guess it's not, huh?" The young girl looked at her thoughtfully. "Jordanna?"

"Yes?"

"Is this it?"

The drummer narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean is this it?"

"Will we ever see you again?"

"Of course you will," Jordanna answered immediately, slightly taken back by the question. "Why would you ask such a thing?"

"Because you didn't want to see us before," the young girl said sadly.

Jordanna just about choked on that statement. "That's not true, Maggie. There are… things… that went on in the past that you don't know about and the fact is, I didn't know that Dad had more children for the longest time."

"Oh."

"You and your sister and brother are welcome to stay at my house with Rebecca and I whenever you want, Maggie." The drummer put her hand on the young girl's arm and squeezed it gently. "Why don't we make plans to do that right now, okay? Of course, that's only if you want to and your parents are okay with it."

The young girl's face lit up like a light. "If I want to? You've got to be kidding me!"

Just then, Heather poked her head into the room. "Food's just about ready, girls. C'mon outside and eat."

Both Jordanna and Maggie stood and made their way to the door. Jordanna stopped and faced the young girl before they left the room. "Remember what I said before, Maggie, okay?"

Heather looked at them with curiosity, but neither of them answered her silent question. "I will, Jordanna," Maggie said, as she slipped out of the room, ignoring her mother completely.

Jordanna met up with Rebecca, who decided to make herself useful in the kitchen. Heather gave them a quick tour of the house while they were in there, and Jordanna just about lost it when they got to Maggie's room. "Holy shit," she said as she got a look at the room, which was a shrine to Jordanna and the band. There wasn't an inch of space on her wall that wasn't covered with posters or photos.

Heather backed out of the room, giving them some time to be alone. "Well, I'll leave you two in here to look around. Come down and eat when you are done."

Rebecca walked around the room looking at all the photos of her lover, some she was familiar with and some she had never seen. Jordanna noticed an autographed photo framed on the wall and ran her hand along the black frame. "I hope she didn't pay for this," she mumbled.

"When did you take this?" Rebecca asked, pointing to a magazine that Maggie had hidden under other magazines sitting on her bed, looking as if she just read it.

Jordanna looked at the photo of herself on the cover, posed in very sheer black lingerie, and laughed. "That's a man's magazine," she announced. "How in the hell did she get that?"

"You didn't answer my question." Rebecca flipped through the magazine and found the article she was looking for. "Oh my! Oh mymymymymy…" She licked her lips and circled around her lover.

"What?" Jordanna asked, feigning complete innocence.

"Jordanna, you're practically naked in these photos and you look absolutely edible in them."

A dark eyebrow lifted. "Edible?"

"Yeah, edible, you know," Rebecca started to explain, and placed a lingering kiss on the drummer's lips. "Good enough to eat."

"Good enough to eat? Ah, yes. Well…" A huge smile made it's way across the drummer's face. "I'll take you up on that tonight after we get home."

Jordanna watched as Rebecca flipped to the next page of the photo spread, and smiled as the reporter's eyes widened at the backside shot of her wearing only a black G-string, a garter belt and high heels. Rebecca sighed. "Can we go home now, Jordanna?"

The drummer laughed. "Do you think I look edible in that photo, too?"

Rebecca shook her head vigorously. "Hell fucking yeah!"

The drummer lifted an eyebrow again. "And you want me to take you home now, why?"

"Um…"

Jordanna leaned down and whispered in her lover's ear, enjoying the sexual teasing going on between them. "Because you want to eat your edible drummer, perhaps? You are becoming as sex hungry as I am, Rebecca Anne McCarthy."

Rebecca pouted. "No one will ever be as sex hungry as you are, Julia Jordanna 'pick a name, any name' Smith Fox."

The drummer smacked her on the ass playfully. "You'll pay for that when we get home, my beautiful lover."

Rebecca ran her finger along Jordanna's chin, and poked her just as playfully on the tip of her nose. "I’m absolutely counting on it."

"Rebecca, do you still like the way I look in a leather vest?"

The reporter nodded her head rapidly. "Oh yeah, you betcha."

"How about an unbuttoned leather vest, loads of cleavage and just a G-string?"

"Oh God." The blonde shuddered and began to fan herself with the magazine, feeling weak and dizzy at the thought.

The dark-haired woman pulled the magazine out of her hand. "Then you better not look at the rest of these or we'll have to find out where a spare bedroom is, Rebecca."

"No wait!" the reporter screamed and tried to grab the magazine back, laughing as she chased the dark-haired woman around the room. Giving up her chase, she asked, "Do you have this magazine at home?"

Jordanna thought for a few seconds, trying to remember if she had a copy or not. "I think so. I might have it somewhere, yeah."

"Good. Show it to me when we get home, okay?"

Jordanna shrugged and pretended to act hurt. "What, the real thing isn't good enough for you?" she asked as she put the magazine back down on the young girl's bed and put the other ones on top of it. "I still want to know how… why… Maggie has this magazine, though, Rebecca. She's 12-years-old, for Christ's sake! Do you think she's…" she started to ask, and then paused. "I mean, she was asking me a lot of questions about it earlier and I asked her if she thought she might be and she cut me right off, changing the subject immediately."

"Just look around this room." Rebecca picked the magazine back up and waved her hand around the room. "Yeah actually, I do, Jor."

Jordanna rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Well that's just fucking great! Why me? Why not Kelly or Rach?" She spun around and walked to the window by her sister's bed and looked out of it. "I'm her sister, damn it! How in the hell do I handle this one, Rebecca?"

The reporter walked up to her lover and put her hand on her shoulder. "Very gently, sweetheart. Think about how she must feel."

Jordanna let out a deep breath and her shoulders slumped. "I know." She rubbed her temple and started to laugh, even though she felt like crying. "Just when I think that everything in my life is almost normal again."

Rebecca couldn't help but smile at her partner's misfortune. "Your soap opera life will never be normal, love. Welcome to the world of families."

"Thanks for the encouraging words, partner of mine." Jordanna looked out the window again and noticed everyone starting to sit down to eat. "I guess we better get out there and join them," she said, and started to head back outside.

Jordanna and Rebecca sat down at a table with Thomas, Heather, and the kids after they filled their plates with food. Jordanna bit into her cheeseburger, finished chewing and then looked up at her father and spoke. "So, where's the caviar?"

Her father's mouth dropped and he looked at Rebecca who shrugged her shoulders at him. Jordanna burst out laughing. "I'm kidding… I'm kidding. Rebecca told me you called and asked her what I like to eat. I just couldn't resist teasing you for that. Sorry." She snickered. "So you thought I was a spoiled brat rock star with lavish tastes, huh?"

His face turned red. "I didn't know, Jordanna. I just, um… I wanted to…"

She stopped him and frowned. "For your information, I wouldn't put those disgusting fish droppings anywhere near my mouth." Her frown turned into a grin. "I'm more of a beer and chips kinda gal," she said happily.

"Yeah, you should see her sometimes, sitting Indian style on the corner of the couch in the sunroom with a bowl of plain pasta in her hands, humming happily as she's eating it," Rebecca explained. "Sometimes she does it with her cereal at breakfast time, too. It's so darn cute."

Jordanna's father laughed as his mind went back many, many years. "That's right, I forgot you used to hum when you ate. We always knew what you did and didn't like because of that."

"I do not hum!"

"Sure you do, love," Rebecca argued.

After everyone got a laugh at the drummer's expense, her father decided to tease her a little more. "And, something even better than that, she is the only person that I know that prefers instant…"

"Mmm," Rebecca put her hand out, indicating that she had a mouth full of food but wanted to speak. "She prefers instant mashed potatoes over real ones, right?"

"Yeah," he said with a laugh. "She also used to pick…"

"The onions and peas out of her food, even the tiniest of pieces!" Rebecca finished for him, just as Jordanna pushed a tiny piece of celery that clung to her potato salad off to the side of her plate, poked at the potato with her fork and put it in her mouth.

They all burst out laughing.

"Fine. You all laugh at my expense," the dark-haired woman sulked. She picked up her plate and beer and slid off of her seat. "I'm going over there to eat alone, so I can pick at my food and hum as much as I want."

Rebecca grabbed at the back of Jordanna's shorts to try and stop her. "We were just teasing, love. Come back."

"Hmpf!" The drummer sat down at a small, empty table, put her plate down and started eating again, making it a point to pick things that she even liked out of her food. Maggie jumped up from the other table and joined her in the seat across from her.

The drummer looked up at her younger sister. "You gonna make fun of me, too?"

Maggie shook her head. "No, I would never do that."

Jordanna took another bite of her cheeseburger. "Good, I knew I liked you for a reason."

The young girl laughed and blushed.

Jordanna noticed that instead of eating, Maggie sat there pushing the food around on her plate. "You all right, Maggie?" she asked, looking across the table at her little sister.

The young girl looked up at her and whispered. "What we were talking about earlier… um, my um… friend asked me to ask you. How do you know if you are or not?"

A friend, huh? Jordanna controlled the smirk that wanted to make its way across her lips and leaned across the table. "Obviously, the first thing would be to ask your friend who she's more attracted to- girls or boys."

"She likes both… I think. But more girls." The young girl sighed in frustration. "She's really confused."

"It can be very confusing, Maggie. Tell your friend that admitting it to yourself, in my opinion, is the hardest part of the whole thing. Once she does that, she basically has to accept that its what she is, that she really can't change it and she just has to deal with it and move on."

"She's in love with her best friend's older sister."

Jordanna's blue eyes shot open. "Her name isn't Laura, is it?"

"What?" Maggie asked, completely confused.

The drummer snorted and shook her head. "Nothing." She took a long pull from her beer. "Rebecca usually does the sensitive chats."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Do you know how this girl feels about you… I mean your friend?"

"She thinks she likes her, she's not totally sure."

I feel like I should be in a classroom, passing notes back and forth. Jordanna rubbed her temple. Patience was not a strong point for her. Tactfully, she said, "Maggie, I saw your bedroom. We found that magazine you had on your bed with me on the cover."

The young girl looked down. "Oh."

"Is there something you need to tell me?"

Maggie's eyes started to tear. "I… I think I'm gay," she whispered.

"C'mon." The drummer quickly got up from her chair, went around the table and crouched down next to her sister. "Let's take a walk, okay?"

"Okay."

The two made their way across the patio and started to walk towards the dock. As they passed the table that the rest of the family was sitting at they all noticed the younger girl's red eyes and began to grow concerned. Jordanna locked eyes with Rebecca. "Maggie and I are going for a little walk. We'll be back a little later," the drummer announced.

Both Heather and Thomas started to get up to find out what was going on, but Rebecca told them to just let them go for a walk, that everything was alright and that their daughter was in good hands with her partner.

They walked a bit on the dock in silence, trying to distance themselves from the house. As the dock ended, the drummer noticed the small, empty park across the street, and walked through the gates. They made their way to the swing set, and Jordanna sat her large frame down on one of the swings. Maggie sat down on the swing next to her.

The drummer closed her eyes, and prayed that she would come up with the right things to say to her embarrassed sister. What in the hell do I say to her????

"Don't be embarrassed, Maggie, we've all had crushes on rock stars and actors at some point in our lives. I mean, I used to have a crush on… oh God, you probably don't even know who they are. I'm getting old," the drummer babbled.

Maggie looked at her with interest. "Who did you have a crush on?"

The drummer laughed a bit and began to swing slightly; hoping that the thing wouldn't break under her adult weight. "I was totally crazy about Ann and Nancy Wilson from Heart. Stevie Nicks and Chrissie Hynde, too."

"You're right," Maggie said, and looked at her blankly. "Who are they?"

Jordanna shook her head and smiled. "Female singers that were extremely popular in the 70's/80's era."

"But none of them are related to you, Jordanna! You’re my sister," the young girl said, and then burst into tears.

Jordanna stopped swinging and put her hand on her sister's arm, not knowing how to console her. "You didn't know that until a couple of weeks ago, right? I would say, by looking at your room, your crush on me started way before that."

Maggie nodded, confirming Jordanna's assumption as being correct. "God, this is so embarrassing."

"It is a strange situation, Maggie. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself a little time to get past it, okay?"

The young girl nodded again, and felt herself calming down.

"Tell me about this girl that you like," Jordanna said, hoping to ease her sister's mind about the situation.

Maggie looked at her and started to laugh a little. "She's two years older than me. Her name is Lindsay. God, it feels so weird to actually tell someone this."

Jordanna smiled at her. "Go on. What does Lindsay look like?"

Maggie looked out at the dock and sighed. "She's absolutely beautiful. All the guys in school are in love with her. She's got long black hair like yours, and blue-green eyes. She's tall and she's got a body to die for."

The dark-haired woman laughed. "Body to die for, huh?"

"Yeah. I can't believe I am saying all of this to you."

"Why? It's not like I don't understand where you are coming from, Maggie. Look at this way, at least you have someone that you can feel comfortable enough to talk about it with."

"Jordanna?"

"Hmm?"

"What is it like to have sex with a woman?"

She didn't just ask me that, did she??? Completely thrown by the question, Jordanna closed her eyes and looked down, and chuckled slightly to herself. "Well… I, uh… I just feel that if you love someone, no matter what the sex of the person is, and the time is right for the two of you, it can be the most beautiful experience in the world." She looked back up and smiled at her younger sister. "The key point being when the time is right, Maggie. You've got a lot of years ahead of you, please don't rush into things. Make your first time special, as it should be. I can't tell you how much I wish now, more than anything, that my first time would have been with Rebecca."

"Rebecca's really nice… and pretty, too."

A smile spread across the drummer's face at the thought of her lover. "Yeah, she is, isn't she? I wouldn't be the person that I am today had I not met her. She's my light and my life."

"Wow, that's really beautiful, Jordanna. I hope I meet someone that I will feel that way about someday."

The drummer got up from the swing and put her hand on Maggie's back. "You will someday, don't worry." She cleared her throat and smiled. "We better get back before they send the troops out after us."

Maggie got up and stood in front of Jordanna. "Thanks," she said and then paused. "Thanks for understanding and listening. It really means a lot to me."

Jordanna blushed slightly. "Anytime, Maggie."

They walked along the dock in silence. Jordanna looked out at the calm bay water and read the names of some of the other boats docked there. Someone named their boat The Warrior Princess, hmmm… I wonder if they're fans of that stupid show, too?

"How do you think my Mom and Dad will react when they find out?"

The dark-haired woman withdrew her gaze from the bay and turned to Maggie. "Well, they've been pretty accepting of it with Rebecca and I, so I think they will be alright, once they get over the initial shock of it. The only thing is, don't expect everyone to be as accepting as they are, cause they won't be. People can be pretty cruel sometimes."

"Yeah, I know that," the young girl answered as they cut through the gate leading back to the house. Thomas and Heather both stood up and started walking towards them when they saw them. "They're going to want to know what's wrong, aren't they?" the young girl asked.

"Yes, they are, Maggie," Jordanna confirmed.

"Shit!"

"Hey, watch your language, kid!"

Maggie stopped walking and grabbed Jordanna by the arm to slow her down. "Should I tell them?"

The drummer turned to face her sister and shrugged. "That's entirely up to you. Are you ready to tell them?"

"I think so."

"Do you want me to stay with you while you do?"

"Would you?"

"Sure."

They met up with Thomas and Heather as they were walking. Heather put her arms around her daughter and hugged her. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

Maggie nodded and held her head up high. "Yeah, Mom. Can we go in the house and talk?"

"Sure, honey."

Thomas fell in line with Jordanna and walked back to the house next to her. "Is she okay?"

The dark-haired woman ran her hands through her windblown hair and sighed. "Yeah. She just needs to tell you both something."

The tall man stopped walking, and looked at his daughter with concern. "What? Is it bad?"

"It's up to her to tell you," the drummer answered right away, and started to head back to the house. "Is it bad? I would have to say no, but it depends on how you look at it."

"She's gay, too, isn't she?"

Jordanna stopped walking again and put her hand on his arm. "It's up to her to tell you."

"I kinda always thought she was. It is in the genes, you know."

Jordanna started to laugh. "It is?"

"My oldest daughter is, also. Did I ever tell you that? She's a beautiful woman. Smart, strong, talented... she has a lovely partner and a beautiful child. I couldn't be prouder."

"She sounds nice, you'll have to introduce me to her sometime," Jordanna teased playfully, not letting on that what he said affected her emotionally.

"I'm serious, Jordanna, I really mean that. You are a beautiful woman and I'm very proud of what you've accomplished, all on your own. You've had to overcome a lot in your life. I'm very sorry I wasn't there for you."

Jordanna shook her head. "You wouldn't be saying that had you met me a year ago. Rebecca not only saved me from Linda's gunshots, but she saved me from something even more destructive- myself."

The rest of the family stood up as they walked past where they were sitting. Rebecca and Jordanna locked gazes, and the drummer walked over to her partner. Rebecca stood up and put her arms around Jordanna's waist and hugged her. "Everything alright?"

Jordanna planted a tender kiss on the reporter's forehead. "Yes, she's got something she wants to tell Heather and my father and I told her I'd stay with her while she did."

Rebecca released her lover out of her grip. "I hope it works out okay for her, Jor."

The drummer nodded. "I think everything will be just fine, baby."

 

Chapter 44

 

The guests had long since gone and the family gathered in the den together to watch "Zorro." Jordanna sat on the floor with her back against the couch and Rebecca was tucked snuggly in between her thighs, with her back against Jordanna's chest.

Rebecca felt her lover's breath catch as Antonio Banderas removed Catherine Zeta Jones' dress with just a flick of his sword. Rebecca screamed out the actress' name out of nowhere.

Jordanna smirked and put her head on Rebecca's shoulder. "Nope."

"Argh!" the reporter sighed. "Who was it then, damn it? You are so frustrating!"

"I'm not telling you, baby."

The family looked at both of them like they were completely crazy. Jordanna laughed and then explained the guessing game that her and Rebecca began playing ever since the drummer told her that she dated a famous dark-haired movie actress for a while.

"Catherine Zeta Jones is a good guess, baby. I certainly would never say no to her, that's for sure," the drummer teased and wiggled her eyebrows.

"You'd be an idiot if you did." Thomas chimed in. Heather slapped him playfully on the arm. "Hey, what was that for?"

"Yeah, just look at her!" Maggie said and pointed to the large screen television. "She's damn hot!" All eyes in the room turned to her. "What?" the newly out young girl said with a shrug. "I'm just stating a fact."

Rebecca slapped her lover on the thigh. "I will get it out of you one day, partner."

"No, you won't, baby. I promised her that no one would ever know." The drummer loved the aggressive nature of her partner and liked the game they played. Some of the actresses Rebecca picked out simply made her laugh. One of Rebecca's first guesses, Ruth Buzzi, was still her absolute favorite, and wondered where the hell she came up with that answer. She was beginning to believe they had too much free time on their hands, or they were watching way too many reruns of 'Laugh in.'

"If I told you who it is, Rebecca, then her secret would be out then, wouldn't it?" Jordanna tried to explain, but Rebecca wasn't hearing any of it.

"But I'm your wife," the reporter teased, realizing she kind of liked the title. "You know you can tell your wife anything, don't you, sweetheart?"

Jordanna poked her lover playfully on the tip of her nose. "And I do tell you everything, Pooky, just not that."

Every voice in the room repeated the offending word in sync. "Pooky?"

Jordanna blushed furiously.

When the movie ended, the younger members of the family went upstairs to go to bed. Rebecca and Jordanna stood up to get ready for their drive back to Amagansett. Thomas stood up with them. "Do you have to go right now? I'd like to talk a little now that the kids have hit the hay."

The two women looked at each other and sat back down.

"Thank you for being there for Maggie, Jordanna," Heather began. "And for talking her into letting us know." She shifted in her seat. "We've always sort of suspected."

Jordanna put her hands up. "Oh no, she did that all on her own. I didn't talk her into it." She closed her eyes and cleared her throat. "Just be there for her, listen to her when she talks to you. I know it's probably not what you want for your little girl, but she needs to know she has your support. It can be a confusing and lonely place to be."

Rebecca fell asleep in Jordanna's arms as they talked about everything they could think of. They spoke about their relationships, the children, Jordanna's addiction and recovery process, Jordanna's mother and the band.

Jordanna told her father that she was willing to forgive him for leaving when she was a teenager and that she wanted to work on repairing their relationship. He stood up, with tears in his eyes and walked over to the dark-haired woman, and gave her a big hug and a kiss. "I love you, Jul… Jordanna."

"I love you too, Dad," she said sincerely, returning the hug with her free arm. She looked at her sleeping partner lying in the crook of her other arm. "I think I better get someone home."

"Oh no, you are staying here tonight," Heather insisted. "There's no sense in you making that hour-long drive if you don't have to. Cindy has been asleep upstairs for hours. Why wake her?"

Jordanna started to argue. "But…"

"Julia," her father said with the same authority as he did when she was a misbehaving child. "Do not argue with Heather. You are staying with us tonight. That's final." He got up and pulled his daughter off of the couch, making Rebecca stir slightly. "Let me get the guest bedroom ready for you guys, okay? You two do sleep together, right?"

Jordanna blushed immediately. "Dad!"

Thomas laughed at Jordanna's reaction. "Well?" he asked again, when she didn't answer him.

"Do you and Heather sleep together?" she asked with a grin, knowing the answer.

"We're married. Of course we do."

"Well, then, now you know my answer."

Jordanna bent down and lifted her sleeping lover off of the couch. Rebecca stirred a bit, and she wrapped her arms around the dark-haired woman's neck to hold on. "Wha's going on?" she asked in a sleep filled voice.

"Shhh, baby, we are going to stay here tonight, okay?" the drummer whispered.

"'Kay," came the sleepy response.

Jordanna followed her father up the stairs to the guest bedroom and walked in just as Heather was finishing making up the bed for them.

"You're going to need something to sleep in." Heather walked to her own bedroom and grabbed one of her husband's pairs of pajamas for Jordanna and one of her own pairs for Rebecca. She went back to the guest bedroom and found her husband standing there in the doorway, silently watching the two already sleeping forms wrapped around each other in the bed.

Heather put her head on her husband's shoulder. "Guess they won't be needing these then, huh?"

Thomas pulled his wife to him and hugged her tight. "No, I guess not."

"I'm so glad you got in touch with her, Tom. She's a beautiful woman and a lot like you in so many ways."

"Yeah," he said, as tears welled in his eyes. "I should have never left her alone with her mother when we got together. Would you have minded having an instant daughter?"

 Heather pulled away from her husband and looked into his moist, blue eyes. "She knows that we were having an affair, too?" she asked, her surprise showing in her voice.

"She guessed it right away," he confirmed, looked at his sleeping daughter and her lover once more, and shut the light in the room off. "Let's get some sleep, too."

 

Chapter 45

 

(This part is dedicated to all the Merpups who were not very happy with me that I didn't include this part in the web version of "Into the Dark.")

New Year's Eve

December 31, 1999

Jordanna sat on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table, oblivious to all the action going on around the house. The caterers were in and out of the oceanfront home, delivering food and setting up just about everything they needed for the big New Year's Eve party at the house.

The reporter walked over to the couch and looked at her partner. "You look nice and relaxed."

"Mmm." Jordanna turned slightly and patted the area on the couch next to her. "Just resting before the big party. Everything going okay?"

Rebecca sat down and leaned against her lover. "So far, so good. A few problems here and there but we handled them. What are you thinking about, love?"

Jordanna shifted her body and leaned her back against the corner of the couch, stretching her long legs out along the length of the furniture. She parted her denim-clad legs and Rebecca sat down in between them, sitting with her back comfortably snuggled against the drummer's chest. Jordanna wrapped her arms around Rebecca's waist and kissed her on the top of her head. "I was just thinking about my life now compared to less than a year ago."

Rebecca idly ran her finger down the seam of Jordanna's jeans. "Oh yeah?"

"I was thinking how rich I was monetarily wise, but as far as everything else went, I was dirt poor," she admitted. "And the sad thing was, I really had myself convinced that I had everything in life. I didn't think I needed… or wanted love." She ran her hand along Rebecca's cheek. "I was so damn wrong."

Rebecca nodded and remained silent, understanding exactly what her lover was saying to her.

"Now my life is rich in so many ways," the dark-haired woman continued. "First and most importantly, I have the most beautiful partner, lover and best friend in my life."

The reporter took Jordanna's hand in hers and kissed it. "I love you, too."

Jordanna closed her eyes and reveled in the love she was feeling. "And Cindy… I couldn't love her any more if she were my own daughter."

"She loves you very much, too." Rebecca smiled at the words, the words that she needed to hear to bring up the subject she's wanted to discuss with the drummer since summertime. "Jor?"

"Hmm?"

"I've made a decision about something, and I've been wanting to talk about it with you for a while."

Noticing Rebecca's suddenly serious demeanor, the drummer leaned her head on top of the reporter's. "Is something wrong, baby?"

"What would you think about Cindy coming to live here with us?" Rebecca asked hesitantly.

Jordanna narrowed her eyes at the question, surprised that Rebecca would even have to ask. "I would love it, you know that." Don't you?

"Yes, of course I do." Rebecca smiled and cleared her throat, which suddenly turned very dry. "That's why I'm going to tell David that Evan Carlisle is Cindy's biological father when I bring her back to the city next weekend. I want full custody."

Jordanna was completely blindsided by the statement. "Are you serious?"

Rebecca's smile disappeared quickly, taking her lover's surprised reaction the wrong way. "Why? Do you think it's a bad idea?"

The drummer sat up straight, and made Rebecca look her directly in her baby blues. "I'm not so sure if you should do that, Rebecca. You have no idea what it's like to grow up without a father and I can't believe you would even think about taking the only one Cindy's ever known away from her," she said angrily, her words coming out harsher than she meant them to sound.

"You are not understanding what I am saying, Jordanna," the reporter grit her teeth, and tried to explain herself better. "I have absolutely no intention of taking her away from him. I just want to switch the living arrangements around. Here during the week, and the city on the weekends."

"Oh." Jordanna blinked twice, feeling really stupid for questioning Rebecca's motives. "I… I'm sorry for jumping down your throat like that. I guess I misunderstood you," the drummer admitted and relaxed against the back of the couch again, pulling Rebecca back against her. "Forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Jordanna," the reporter whispered, and made herself comfortable again. "I can't believe you thought I wanted to take Cindy away from David."

Jordanna ran her hand through Rebecca's blonde strands of hair. "I'm sorry. Being fatherless is still a sore subject for me, I guess."

"I know it is, honey, but you've reunited with your father and his family. I want the chance to be a mother to my daughter. She starts school next year. I'd rather see her getting her education here on the Island than at a school in New York City," Rebecca admitted truthfully.

The drummer wrapped her arms around Rebecca tightly and whispered in her ear. "You know I'll support you and stand by your side every step of the way, no matter what you do, baby." She sighed, thinking that they will probably have a nasty fight ahead of them with David. "I just don't think this is going to be pretty, Rebecca. That's all."

"You're right. I don't think David is going to take the news very easily." Rebecca kissed the dark-haired woman on the cheek. "It's just something that I have to do, Jordanna. Cindy should be here with us."

The front door burst open as another group from the catering company made their way into the kitchen with more food for the party, startling both women. "Wow, it's really cold out there," the drummer said, as the chilly winter air ripped right through her clothes and nipped at her warm body. "You know, have you thought about we are going to do when I'm out on the road and you have to go away on an assignment?"

"Yes," Rebecca sighed, "I've thought about it. I'm not going out on any more assignments."

Jordanna sat quietly staring at the Christmas tree, thinking hard about what Rebecca just said. "But you love your job, baby," she said solemnly. "You know, as far as from a financial standpoint, we can live very comfortably without either of us ever having to work another day in our lives," Jordanna pointed out blankly.

Rebecca narrowed her eyes and sat quietly for a while, looking at the twinkling lights on the tree, also. Something's up with her. This is not just about Cindy. "Are, um… are you considering leaving the music business, Jor?" she finally asked.

The drummer rubbed her temple. With the release date for the new album just weeks away, she felt herself becoming tenser and tenser. Oh God. I can't believe I'm actually going to say this. "Yes, I've been thinking about it a lot lately."

"But why? You love it so much."

"I think that with everything that happened with Linda at the beginning of the year, its time for me to get out of the business." She pursed her lips, and fought back tears. "I'll help the band find a replacement drummer."

Rebecca was shocked, to say the least. She had no idea her partner felt this way. The only thing she knew was that Jordanna was born to be on stage. "I don't believe you truly believe that, Jor. This is really about something else, isn't it?" She looked at her lover, who looked extremely sad and confused.

"What do you mean?"

Rebecca cleared her throat. "Is it possible you don't want to go on tour again because you're afraid you'll be tempted?"

"No," Jordanna answered far too quickly. No more secrets Jordanna, you promised. "Well, yeah, just a little," she corrected.

"That incident with Mark in the summer really shook you up, didn't it?"

The drummer looked into the fire, letting the flames grab hold of her darkness. "Yeah, it scared me a lot, Rebecca. I don't ever want to hurt you like that."

Rebecca took both of Jordanna's hands in hers. "You are making incredible progress, Jordanna. Even both Dr. Rosen's have said so," she said and paused. "You admitted you have a problem. You have taken responsibility for your actions and you understand why you did what you did. I know you check in with Mark when you are feeling vulnerable, and that means you are not lying to yourself or to me, love. So don't tell me that isn't progress."

"Yeah, I guess I have made some progress, huh?" the drummer said shyly, offering Rebecca one of her most heartwarming smiles. "I'm just so afraid I'll revert back to my old ways. The road is a dangerous place for me to be, Rebecca."

Rebecca kissed Jordanna tenderly on the lips. "I have faith in you, Jordanna. You're a very strong woman."

Jordanna pushed Rebecca's hair to the side and started to place small kisses on her neck. "With you around, how could I not be?"

"Oh, speaking of going away," the reporter turned around quickly and smirked. "I have to go out to California to cover the awards ceremony in two weeks."

Jordanna sighed and frowned. "You do?"

"Uh huh," Rebecca said with a nod. "It's just for two days. I'll be back before you know it."

"You seem to have a knack of getting yourself into trouble when you go out on assignments, Rebecca." The drummer closed her eyes and smiled at the memory of when they first met. "Remember what happened on the next to last assignment you went on?"

Rebecca turned her body completely around and gave her lover a kiss. "Yes, I went on a tour that was supposed to last a few weeks and instead I found eternity." She pulled Jordanna's left hand into her own and held up her ring finger next to her partner's, loving the way the gold bands glistened in the firelight. "I found you."

The drummer felt herself start to choke up, still not used to the fact that someone could feel so deeply about her. "God, I'm going to miss you," she got out, emotion making her voice shaky.

"I'm going to miss you too, love."

"Baby?"

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking about putting the house in California on the market. Do you have any objections to that?"

"Mm, no," Rebecca shook her head. "It's your house, you can do whatever you want with it."

"Correction," the dark-haired woman disagreed. "It's our house, and I just wanted to make sure you had no desires of ever living there. The only reason I bought the house in the first place was because we always used to record in Los Angeles, but since we are recording in New York now, I see no reason to hang on to the place."

"I would object if you wanted to sell this house cause I absolutely love it here."

Jordanna kissed Rebecca on the top of her head. "You don't ever have to worry about that. This is our home."

Rebecca answered sleepily. "Good." She flipped her body back around, lying back with her head resting against the drummer's chest. They sat quietly in each other's embrace, and the warmth from the fireplace lulled them both into a content, sleepy haze. The two women dozed as the caterers they hired worked around them, decorating the house in the colorful splendor that New Year's has to offer.

The older woman finally woke when she heard Rebecca's excited, but exhausted family returning from their day long trip into the city to see the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, a sight they had never seen before. Her family arrived at their house on the day after Christmas, so they could spend some of the holidays with their granddaughter, Rebecca and her new partner.

Rebecca's brother Ryan stopped in his tracks when they walked in and he saw the two sleeping women, lying together, limbs tangled on the couch. "Aww… ain't that just so cute?"

Rebecca's parents turned to look at what he was talking about. Her father gasped when he saw his daughter lying in the arms of a woman. Guess one day I'll get used to seeing this. He turned to his wife. "You're going to speak to her, right?"

Jennifer McCarthy nodded at her husband's question and walked toward the couch, still feeling a bit apprehensive about having to speak to the newest member of their family.

Jordanna heard Jennifer approach, and her eyes opened to meet the green gaze of her mother-in-law who was standing across from the couch, in front of the Christmas tree. "Jennifer? Is everything okay?"

"I hope we didn't wake you."

The drummer tried to get up, but the warm body of her lover on top of hers kept her from doing that. She stretched her arms out and yawned, giving the clock a quick glance. "It's time to get up anyway. Did you have a nice time in the city?"

"We sure did. It's beautiful there at Christmas time." She made a face. "But so darn crowded, and the traffic is horrendous. We didn't get to see everything that we planned on. There were people camping out in Times Square when we got there in the morning. I could never wait around all day like that just to see a ball drop."

"My father took me and my best friend there on New Year's Eve once when I was a teenager. It was different and fun, but I would never do it again. But at least I can now say that I've done it." A smile grew on Jordanna's face as she remembered the cold night fondly. "If you are able to come stay with us in the spring or summer, Rebecca and I can give you a proper tour of Manhattan, if you'd like," the drummer continued.

Jennifer smiled and gave Jordanna a friendly pat on the hand. "I'd like that." Her smile broadened when she looked at her peacefully sleeping daughter, who had her partner trapped in place on the couch. "She still sleeps like a log, huh?"

Jordanna looked lovingly at her partner, who had turned on her side in her sleep and had her head resting comfortably on the swell of Jordanna's breasts. "Yeah, she does." She motioned for her mother-in-law to sit down on the chair next to the couch because she had a feeling the older woman wanted to talk.

Jennifer politely thanked the drummer and sat down. She shivered slightly. "It's cold out there," she said as she rubbed her sweater-covered arms. "Got a chill in my bones."

"They're talking about some snow tonight maybe."

"Mmm," Jennifer responded. "Certainly feels like it."

Rebecca stirred and mumbled something incoherent. Jordanna ran her fingers through her lover's golden bangs. "It's time to get up, baby."

"Just ten more minutes," Rebecca said sleepily. "Pleeeease."

Jordanna shook her head and chuckled a bit at her partner's usual plea for 10 more minutes of sleep. "I really should make her get up, shouldn't I?" she said with a mischievous grin.

Jennifer opened her mouth and then closed it. She looked again at her daughter lying peacefully in the arms of the woman sitting across from her. "I want to apologize to you."

A dark brow rose. "Apologize to me?" Jordanna asked slowly. "For what?"

Jennifer sat back in the chair, making herself more comfortable. "For judging you, Jordanna."

The other brow rose to meet its mate. "Judging me?"

Rebecca's mother shifted slightly. "When Rebecca first told us about you, well uh, we didn't even take the time to get to know you before we ripped you apart." She looked down with shame in her eyes. "We shouldn't have judged you by what we heard about you." She shook her head. "You are not that person at all."

God, are these people too good to be true, or what? I think I married into the freaking Walton family.

"But I was that person at one time in my life, Jennifer."

"Before you met Rebecca."

The drummer nodded in confirmation. "Until I met Rebecca."

"We told Rebecca that you must have seduced her."

The drummer swallowed hard. "I know, she told me." She shrugged. "The fact is, Jennifer, I did try to seduce her when I first met her. She told me to basically go take a hike." The drummer smiled at her mother-in-law because of her own misfortune. "It was only when I stopped trying to seduce her that she started to take an interest in me."

"It's plain to see that my daughter loves you very much and my granddaughter, which Lord knows we found out today, practically worships the ground you walk on," the older woman said with a laugh. "Everything with her is Jor did this or Jor said that. I learned more about you from Cindy today than I did from any magazine article or newspaper I've ever read."

Jordanna blushed. "I would go to the ends of the Earth for both of them."

"We know that now. I was also noticing how, um… different Rebecca is now since she's met you. She's so much more mature."

Jordanna shrugged. That's cause she's taken on some of my darkness, and given me some of her light, Jennifer. "She's been through a lot in the past few months." The drummer looked up at the clock and noticed time was moving on quickly. She shook her still sleeping lover gently. "Baby, it's time to get up. Our guests will be here soon." One green eye opened, looked at her and then closed again. "Rebecca, we really gotta get ready, baby."

The dark-haired woman shook her head and then turned her attention back to Jennifer again. "You know, I can't blame you for the way you reacted. I'm sure it's got to be shocking when your eldest daughter calls you up out of the blue and tells you that she's just shot and killed someone. If that's not bad enough, she then tells you she's involved in a same-sex relationship with a woman with a very bad reputation."

The older woman nodded. "A shock is an understatement."

"I would react exactly the same way if Cindy called us up and told us the same thing, believe it or not," the drummer admitted.

"Do you think of her as your daughter?"

The drummer rubbed her eyes and then nodded. "I was just telling Rebecca earlier that I love Cindy like she's my own. She and her mother both have me wrapped around their fingers." She smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I can see that." The older woman smiled. "I think it's wonderful that you feel that way about my Granddaughter."

"Me too, the drummer answered back shyly. "Thank you for being honest with me Jennifer, I really do appreciate it."

The older woman nervously twirled a lock of her hair between her fingers and leaned forward. "You know, you can call me Mom if you want. You are my daughter-in-law."

The dark haired woman lifted a brow, revealing her shock. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'd like it very much if you did that, and I think Rebecca would be pleased, too," the older woman said and then got up from the chair. "You can call Harry Dad, also." She paused and looked at the younger woman. "If you want to, that is. It's entirely up to you, of course."

Jordanna blinked a few times and then slowly eased her body out from under Rebecca's. The reporter groaned and then sat up, blinking the sleep out of her eyes. Jordanna crouched down, gave her lover a kiss on the cheek and told her she was going upstairs to shower and change. She then walked over to Rebecca's mother and hugged her before heading up the stairs. "I'd love that, Mom."

Rebecca watched the retreating form of her partner take the stairs two at a time and then turned to question her mother. "Did she just call you Mom?" she asked sleepily.

"Yes, she did Rebecca." Jennifer put her hand on her daughter's arm. "We just had a very nice talk."

That I slept right through, of course. Figures. "Does this mean what I think it does?"

Her mother nodded. "She's a welcome addition to the family, Becky. I'm sorry it took us a little long to accept it."

Rebecca got up and kissed her mother on the cheek. "I'm glad that you guys are accepting of her. It means everything in the world to me."

"We know it does, sweetheart." She gave her daughter a hug and a kiss. "We were very wrong about her, and I told her that when we talked."

"Wow." Rebecca sat there, mouth open in surprised wonder. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, honey. Just go upstairs and join that beautiful woman of yours in the shower before this big shindig starts."

"MOM!" the blushing reporter screamed. "I…I…"

"Don't get so flustered, Becky. I was the one that taught you about the birds and the bees, wasn't I?" Jennifer leaned down and whispered in her daughter's ear, a shit-eating grin on her face. "Even your father and I have done it a few times."

Rebecca let her body drop back against the back of the couch and put she her hands over her face. "God, Mom, are you trying to kill me?" Rebecca turned away, unable to look her mother in the face. Everyone knows that parents don't have sex. That's an unspoken given in life. "Besides, you didn't quite teach me the birds and the bees for the kind of relationship I'm involved in now, did you?" she retorted, hoping to embarrass her mother a little.

"No, smart aleck. I guess I didn't." Rebecca's blushing mother laughed, pulled her off of the couch and then pushed her towards the stairs. "Now scoot, young lady!"

Rebecca laughed heartily as she ran up the stairs. This really was shaping up to be one heck of a New Year for her.

 

**

 

After they got ready, Jordanna did a last minute walk through around the house to see that everything for the party was in order. The Christmas tree lights were on and twinkling, the refrigerator was stocked with food and beverages and soft jazz music played in the background. She walked over to the window and looked out at the light snow that was just starting to fall. She felt a hand on her shoulder. "It's starting to snow, baby," she said quietly and moved over so Rebecca could look out the window with her.

Rebecca sighed, her spirits so high she felt as if she could fly. "It's so peaceful and pretty. I just love this time of the year."

"Mmm, me too." Jordanna moved behind her and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's waist. "So, it's New Year's Eve. We're both here, together, just like I promised we would be," she said, and leaned her chin on the top of Rebecca's head.

Rebecca turned around and looked at her lover. "1999 was an interesting year for us, to say the least, wasn't it?"

Jordanna chuckled. "It was rough in spots, but it was the best year of my life because I met and married you." She leaned down for a kiss.

Dressed and ready to party, Rebecca's younger brother, Ryan, came bounding down the stairs and stopped short when he saw his sister in a lip lock with her partner. "Oh, for Christ's sake, you two! Don't you ever get sick of doing that?"

"No," they both answered at the same time. Rebecca waved him away. "Go away, Ryan. Can't you see we are busy?"

"You two are always busy," her brother teased.

"He sounds just like Cindy, doesn't he?" Jordanna pointed out. "Why don't you go upstairs and make love to your new wife before the party starts, Ryan. Show her how much you love her. I'm sure she'd like that."

He laughed, thinking about how romantic things have been for them since his son was born. "Not everyone is as frisky as you two are, Jordanna."

"Ryan." Rebecca took her bother's hand and dragged him up the stairs. "What part of go away don't you understand?" She pushed him towards the guest bedroom they were staying in. "Go to Catherine… she needs her manly man now!"

"Okay, okay," Ryan took the not so subtle hint, and went back up to the room where his wife and month old son were sleeping. "I'm going!"

Rebecca watched her brother go into the bedroom and walked back down the stairs. Jordanna sat on the couch opposite of the large Christmas tree that they put up, and Rebecca sat down next to her. "The guests should be arriving soon."

Jordanna put her arm around Rebecca's shoulder and pulled her close. "Yeah, they should be." She relaxed in the warmth that she felt from her lover. "That was mean to do to your brother."

The reporter ran her hand along Jordanna's stomach. "I know, I just wanted to spend a little more time alone with you before everyone shows up." She shrugged. "At least you suggested he do something fun with his wife. I just told him to go away."

"I never knew you could be so rude, Rebecca." Jordanna leaned down and kissed the blonde woman on the forehead.

"Is it such a bad thing that I want to spend some time alone with my partner?"

"Mmm, no, it's not." The drummer never felt more content than she did now. Her eyes followed the direction that Rebecca's were looking, and came to rest on the tree. "Looking at the tree is so relaxing, isn't it?"

Rebecca didn't answer her. Jordanna turned and saw tears streaming down the young woman's face. "You're not still thinking about what I told you about decorating, are you?"

The blonde woman nodded her head. She thought back to the Christmas Eve day that they spent together a week prior, picking out just the right tree and decorating it. They got the fireplace going, lit a few scented candles, opened a bottle of wine and traded kisses as they examined and put each different, mostly cartoon character ornament on the tree branches.

They used most of the ornaments that Rebecca brought with her when she moved in with the drummer, and they went out and bought a few new ones that they could consider their own as a couple. She delighted in watching the drummer pick out all the South Park character ornaments during one of their infrequent trips to the mall together, teasing Jordanna that she was still a child at heart.

When they were about half way done with the tree, the affects of wine mixed with desire took over and they made love on the carpet in front of the fireplace, not far from the tree, knocking a few of the ornaments they had hanging on the lower branches off. They took a short nap in each other's arms afterward and finished decorating when they woke.

The reporter was surprised to find out that Jordanna didn't have any Christmas decorations for her house because she never put them up before. Rebecca found that to be very sad. When the tall woman told her that she hadn't put a tree up since her father left home, she nearly lost it and vowed to the drummer, and to herself, that would never be the case again. They would make the wine, the fireplace, the candles, the kisses, and the lovemaking a tradition while they decorated the house for the holidays each year.

She felt Jordanna's finger running along her jaw line. "Are you okay, baby?"

Rebecca blinked the last of the tears out of her eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay, love. Please, always remember the promise we made to each other last week about decorating."

Jordanna spoke softly. "I will."

The sound of the doorbell jostled them out of their own little world, and the drummer jumped up, put a silver New Year's top hat on her head and went to the door. Rebecca followed behind her partner to greet the first of the guests, Jordanna's family.

**

The party was in full swing by 11:15. The soft jazz music previously playing had since been changed to dance music and gyrating bodies filled the floor. Alcohol flowed freely and the hosts mingled with their guests. Jordanna noticed that Cindy was lying on the couch, her green eyes just about to close. She picked the sleepy child up in her arms and brought her over to Rebecca. The blonde woman kissed her daughter goodnight, wished her a happy New Year and let her lover carry her upstairs to bed.

The drummer tucked the young girl in bed; sang a quick song for her as she always did and stood there watching as the child's eyes slowly closed and she headed off into dreamland. She could feel her own eyes start to tear when suddenly Cindy's eyes popped open. "What's wrong?"

Jordanna hugged the young girl tight. "I love you so much, kiddo. You know that, right?"

"I know that, Jor. I love you, too."

"Happy New Year, sweetheart," the drummer said, and planted a kiss on the child's forehead.

"Happy New Year, Jor."

The dark-haired woman made her way back down the stairs. She grabbed two glasses of champagne and her lover's hand and walked over to the stereo to turn the music down. Everyone turned and looked her way, including Rebecca, who had absolutely no clue as to what her lover was up to.

Jordanna climbed up on the coffee table that was pushed in the corner out of the way of the guests. She pulled Rebecca up there with her and put her arm around her. "Um, it's 11:30 p.m. on the last day of the century and I want to thank you all for sharing the New Year with my family and I. You don't know how much it means to me… to us… to be surrounded by all the love in this room. You all stood by us through everything that we went through this year, and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart." She paused and cleared her throat of the emotion she was feeling. "I made a promise at the beginning of the year to my beautiful partner here that I have every intention of keeping." She turned and looked at a curious Rebecca. "What that means, is at the stroke of midnight, we will not be down here with you all to wish you a Happy New Year, so I'd like to do that right now." She lifted her champagne glass and saluted the room. "Happy New Year," she said as everyone raised their glasses and saluted back, emptying their glasses of the bubbly liquid.

After the two lovers jumped down from the coffee table, they walked over to Rebecca's family and gave them all hugs and kisses before doing the same with all of Jordanna's family members.

The two walked, hand in hand, to the stairs. Jordanna turned and spoke again. "We will be back down later. But, if by some crazy chance we don't join you again tonight, there's loads of food and drinks in the kitchen. Please help yourselves. More importantly, if you don't feel up to driving home, there's plenty of room here. Please feel free to stay overnight." She smiled and kissed her lover. "Now, I have that promise to keep."

The partygoers whistled and cheered as the two climbed the stairs up to their bedroom. Rebecca's face was a nice shade of red. "What are you up to, my love?"

Jordanna winked at her. "You remember the promise I made to you about the new millenium, don't you?"

"Refresh my memory again, Jordanna."

The drummer picked Rebecca up in her arms, kicked opened the bedroom door and walked toward their bed, which was completely covered in rose petals. A single red rose lay on Rebecca's pillow. A bottle of champagne was chilling on a table and next to that, a bowl made of crystal held fresh strawberries.

Rebecca gasped when she saw the room and turned to look at her partner. "It's… it's beautiful, Jor," she whispered, and then put her hand behind the dark-haired woman's head to pull her down for a kiss. "You are such a romantic mushball."

"Just don't let anyone know that, okay? Don't want to ruin my bad reputation and all, you know?" Jordanna said with a wink. "Happy New Year, baby."

Rebecca snorted and smiled as her lover carried her to their bed, and made good on the promises she made to her many months ago.

"Happy New Year, love."

 

 

THE END.

 

If it seems as if I'm setting up a plot line for a third installment of this series, I just might be doing that. Let me know if you want one. <g>



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