General warning: This story mentions casual drug use and child neglect. It also involves a romantic relationship between two women (surprise, surprise).
Contact the lunatic at: starving.lunatic@gmail.com and lemme know what you think of the story. Thanks and enjoy.
Gus was not surprised when the scent of fresh bacon took her from her sleep. Morning meal smells were better than any alarm clock she had ever owned when it came to waking her up and getting her moving. She never thought that she would be eager to get to food before, but Jayce had certainly trained her in a very short time. She knew that she was trained too, but she did not care.
Having someone cook for her everyday and to have meals waiting for her made Gus feel many emotions. Most of those, she did not put names to. She did not even think about them, just experiencing the sublime feeling that seemed to always course through her now that she had guests in her house. Magnificent guests if anyone ever bothered to ask her, even if they had taken her bed...yes, she knew that she had given them the bed.
Since she had taken to sleeping in the living room, she found that she did her morning routines backwards. Breakfast used to be the last thing she did in the morning at home, but now it was the first. She rushed into the dining and was greeted by a sight that she could not help staring at-Jayce bent over slightly to pour coffee. Gus let a long breath, but that did not get her eyes off of a very alluring ass. It was only when the sound of Princess cheering drew her attention did hazel eyes move on. Jayce turned around as soon as Gus shifted her gaze to the baby.
"Thank goodness you're up. I don't know how much longer I would've been able to keep Princess from charging into the living room to wake you up," Jayce commented with a smile.
"What? Princess wouldn't do that, would you?" Gus asked as she picked up the child. Princess gave her a big wet kiss on the cheek and she returned it with one of her...hers not so wet.
"She really wanted you to wake up. She knows that when you're up that's when we can start eating," Jayce remarked.
"Oh, hungry baby, huh?" Gus sat down at her plate. They were having grits, scrambled cheese eggs, toast, and bacon. She figured it was safe to share the grits and eggs with the baby. She noticed that she had a large portion of food too, so maybe it was assumed that she was going to share. "So, what do you have planned for today?" she asked curiously, picking up a spoon to use for Princess. Scooping up a little bit of grits, she blew on them to make sure they were not too hot before feeding the food to the child.
"Court date," Jayce answered, taking her seat at the table. Her eyes lingered on how comfortable Princess was with Gus feeding her and she thought about how comfortable her hostess was with the baby. The pair made quite a sight.
Gus nodded. "I thought so. Are you going to take Princess with you?"
"I have to. If I let her out of my sight, I know my mother's going to try something. I just can't leave her."
Gus nodded again. "I could take her for you. If you want," she proposed, trying to hold off smiling to avoid looking desperate. She would love nothing more than to spend the day with Princess. This kid is hella awesome! Added to that, she figured that would take some of the stress off of her guest.
Jayce was silent for a moment, staring at Gus as if she was an alien life-form. The businesswoman tried to gather what was going through Jayce's head from her expression, but even that was an amalgamation of bewildering emotions. She could see regret, sorrow, and some hesitation. All that added up to an answer Gus did not favor nor did she want to hear.
"That would be nice Gus, but I think that maybe I should just keep her with me," Jayce replied in a quiet voice, unable to look the brown-haired woman in the eyes as she spoke those words. She did look up to gauge Gus' reaction to her confession.
"So, you don't trust me?" Gus asked, eyes betraying her agony instantly. She wished that she could take the words back as soon as they left her mouth. It was obvious that Jayce did not trust her and she was only going to cause herself more pain when Jayce confirmed it or tried to lie to cover it up.
"Oh, Gus!" Jayce reached over to caress her hostess' forearm in the hope to bring her comfort and get that crushed look out of those beautiful light brown eyes. "Gus, I'm sorry, but I haven't known you that long and...Princess is all I have right now. She is my most precious item in the world. So, it's nothing against you, Gus, but it's just that if I lost Princess..." Jayce trailed off and glanced away, her chin trembling at the thought of having her niece taken from her.
Gus shifted her hold on the baby, so that she could take Jayce's hand. She held onto it tightly, causing near onyx eyes to turn back to her. She offered the distressed woman a small smile, silently saying that there were no hard feelings. The contact and expression softened the look in Jayce's eyes.
"You know what, Jayce, I totally understand what you're saying. I actually felt that way about Jannie when our parents died. I wasn't sure if she'd be able to stay with me and I was scared everyday that someone would come and take her from me, so I totally understand. It's okay." It was okay because the businesswoman did understand the reasoning. Underneath it all, she did wish that Jayce trusted her more, but she supposed that she would build that up with a little more time.
Jayce looked up and saw no animosity in Gus' light brown gaze. This brought a smile to her face, which got another, wider smile out of Gus. They let the subject drop and went back to their breakfasts.
"I think I'm going to go by Jannie's house later on and try to get some of my stuff. She's been calling me a lot about it. My cell is just full of messages from her. Plus, this way I can start sleeping on the floor since Princess'll have her playpen and she can sleep in that," Jayce explained, thinking that might be some good news for her hostess. If nothing else, Gus could have her bed back and she could get a proper sleep before going to work now.
"Hey, no hurry. I don't mind sleeping on the floor," Gus replied with a lighthearted shrug. It really did not make a difference to her, especially since she slept like a rock once she was out.
"Still, I want to get it before she throws it out." Jayce knew that things would come to that if she tried Jannie's limited patience, especially considering the messages that her former girlfriend was leaving on her phone. Really, she did desired to get Jannie out of her life as soon as possible and getting her stuff as soon as possible would best do that. She was aware that she and Jannie would never be together again, so she did not dwell on it. There were too many other things going on in her life.
Gus nodded; she could see her little sister doing something like throwing out all of Jayce's belongings just to be spiteful. "That might be the best idea."
"What about you? What do you have planned for today?" Jayce asked curiously, also looking to get the spotlight off of her.
"Nothing much. I'm going to try to go to both jobs today. I feel like I have to babysit the spa now. I can't wait for Jannie to graduate. I opened the stupid spa for her anyway," Gus answered, sighing a bit. Never did she think that the spa would cause such a headache. It was a great business, but thanks to this thing with her ex-wife, she disliked the aura of the place for the moment.
"Did you? So you just like the software company?"
"I really like my software company and I'm sure I always will. It was my dream since I was in high school. The spa was just something that was spur of the moment. It was a good decision and everything because it gets very good business, but I don't feel the same for it as I do for my software company. It is good to be able to get a free massage, though," Gus remarked with a light laugh.
Jayce chuckled a bit too. "I imagine it would be. I get the feeling you need it every now and then too."
The taller woman nodded. "For a while, yes, but I'm over it now for the most part. I feel a lot better about things," she stated and then she bounced Princess a bit on her knee. Truthfully, she felt better now than she had in years. She was not sure why that was, but she was not going to question it. Feeling so good made her believe that life was going to be all right, despite all of the crap that she had gone through and despite all of the crap that she helped Jayce go through.
All too soon, breakfast was over and the ladies had business to conduct. They were about to part ways at the door, but Gus followed Jayce to her automobile and helped her get Princess strapped down in her car seat. Earlier, such actions would have surprised Jayce, but she was starting to get used to Gus and her rather helpful nature.
"Thanks," Jayce said with a small, but very grateful smile.
"No problem. I wish you the best of luck today," Gus said and on impulse she leaned down to place a quick peck to Jayce's cheek. A blush invaded the shorter woman's face while they both thought that brief exchange was pleasant. "I hope that brings you enough luck to keep this most precious person of yours," the businesswoman commented as she pulled away.
Jayce smiled, but she could not respond. Her brain could not form any coherent thoughts and her mouth would not have been able to deliver them anyway as it was shut tight. Gus was gone before Jayce got a hold on herself, but the delightful, mellow feeling inspired by Gus remained for the rest of the day. It was wonderful; hard to ignore, but she managed it in order to keep her wits about her. She was not alone in that struggle, though.
The subtle, sweet taste of Jayce's cheek settled on Gus' lips and took up residency there for the day. The feeling of the simple kiss and smile that went with it had Gus floating for the day. It just seemed like a good way to start the morning and that stayed with her, making it easy to get through the day. She made a mental note to try that move again sometime in the near future.
---------------
Jayce was on cloud nine as she pulled up to Jannie's house. The smile on her face could not be torn off with a crane, so she figured that going to see Jannie would not bother her much right now. She got out of the car and unstrapped her niece from her car seat. Kissing Princess' cheek for no reason and getting a happy giggle for her troubles, she started toward the door. The bell sounded in its usual monotonous manner and Jayce waited for an answer.
"Who?" Jannie called, clearly standing right at the door from the sound of her voice.
"It's me," Jayce replied.
"Oh." The disappointment and anger was clear, even with a door between them. "Hold on, I'll get your stuff for you."
"You're not even going to open the door? I've got Princess," Jayce informed her ex-girlfriend.
"I really don't give a goddamn, Jayce, and since we're no longer in a relationship, I don't need to give a goddamn."
Jayce scowled. "We can't be cordial to each other? You can't open the door, so Princess-who is only a year old-can be inside while I get things settled in the car?"
"No."
The tension that raced through Jayce's face made her look as if she was possessed, but it did not last long. After this, I don't have to deal with Jannie and her bullshit again. I can just go home and tell Gus what happened. I'm sure she'll be happy along with me, which I know Jannie would never be, even if we were still together. I just need to get through this and then I can go home.
Getting "through it" was not that difficult because there was not much to do. The door opened after a few minutes and Jannie kicked a large box of things out of the door. Before Jayce could gather what was happening, the door slammed. Dark eyes glanced down at the box while a sigh escaped her lips.
"Hello, Jannie, nice to see you too. How are things in your life? Mine? Not bad. Still unemployed, but I did receive the best news today," Jayce muttered to herself as she went back to the car to put Princess down. "...But, it's obvious that you don't care about that."
She could not help wondering if Jannie ever did care about her or just the fact that she had no problem with lavishing Jannie with attention whenever Princess was not around. She gathered it was the latter. Jannie more than likely relished in the fact that she had a little lapdog, who was always begging to be loved and would do just about anything for that affection.
"Well, not anymore," Jayce vowed as she packed away her things into the trunk of the car. Never again would she beg some woman to love her, she promised herself. She was just going to do her best to love and provide for her niece. That would be enough in life and that was all that mattered.
---------------
Gus practically ran into the house after parking her car in the driveway. "Jayce, what happened? Sorry, I couldn't return your call, but I was in a meeting when you called me," she explained, shouting through the house. She was anxious and eager to know why her housemate called her during the day. She hoped like hell that it was good news, if only to get her stomach to stop flipping.
"I get to keep Princess!" Jayce cried, running out to Gus and throwing herself onto the taller woman. Her embrace was so tight that she was cutting off Gus' air supply, but the businesswoman did not care.
Gus returned the loving embrace. "That's great!" she proclaimed with deep sincerity.
Tears suddenly gathered in Jayce's eyes. "You really mean that, don't you?" she asked in a cracked voice. Someone actually was happy for her for once in her life.
"Of course I do. Hey, may I please take you both out to dinner to celebrate?" Gus asked curiously, sounding almost shy. This was partially brought on by the fact that she wanted to lean down and kiss Jayce's cheek again, but she doubted that would be proper. Even though she was sure she could use the excuse of being overly excited and celebrating in an over-the-top manner, but she did not want to abuse the privilege of being close to the smaller woman.
Jayce noticed that Gus' voice sounded odd. It was not as confident as usual and she was being excessively polite. She figured that it had to do with how she handled the situation that morning with Gus offering to hold onto Princess for her. Gus was not sure how to approach about some things now.
"We would love you to," Jayce replied with a bright smile that instantly set her hostess at ease.
Gus grinned, clapped her hands, and then rubbed her hands together. "Great. I know the perfect place! You can tell me all about today there!"
Jayce smiled and nodded. They broke apart and Jayce went to get Princess ready for their day out. Gus went off to call and make sure they could get a table. Under an hour, they were gone, heading to the restaurant in Gus' CUV.
"This place looks a little...extravagant," Jayce commented as they pulled up to the front of the restaurant for the valet parking. The outside was designed to look like a Roman building with a pair of fountains in front that had colored lights shining around them to make the water look like a host of different, beautiful colors. The baby noticed and cooed as if she was impressed by the water show. She wished that she had time to change her clothing now. She wondered if it was a good idea to bring Princess, not that she would have been able to leave the baby anywhere.
"It's not as expensive as it looks, I promise. It's also nothing for you to worry about anyway. This is my treat to celebrate your victory, remember?" Gus pointed out with a warm smile.
Jayce opened her mouth to argue anyway, but Gus silenced her with a weird puppy-dog look that Jayce did not expect from the businesswoman. Her mind screamed adorable while also making a mental note to watch out for that look in the future. What future? I shouldn't be with Gus that long, so why am I think about a future? Still, the thought of a future with the kind, friendly businesswoman made Jayce feel warm inside, so she could not let it go like she believed she should.
They let a valet take the car and they entered the restaurant. Gus was holding Princess now, who was still marveling over the lights. Inside, Jayce got to see the place was more like a family-oriented restaurant than the outside valet parking and façade implied. She smiled as they were shown to a table and a high-chair was brought out for Princess. They were set up in a corner by a window, looking out into a nearby pond. It was a nice view, but Jayce did not have much time to take it in because Gus wanted to know what happened with her and in court.
"So, tell me about today and how you got custody of Princess," Gus asked excitedly, squirming in her seat from her desire to hear all about what happened.
For a moment, Jayce just smiled, touched by the enthusiasm that Gus was feeling and showing. Her animated behavior made Jayce want to jump up and down with her, but she restrained herself enough not to do that. On the inside, she was turning back-flips, though. Taking a deep breath to keep herself calm, the unemployed woman went into the story of her day.
"It was a pretty sound decision. Andrew said the judge was a good guy and very fair and he was right. The judge saw that I've been taking care of Princess since day one while my mom's just a visitor in her life," Jayce explained, a small smile gracing her features.
Gus shared the smile with her, feeling so much joy that something finally went right in Jayce's life. Something huge too! And she had been able to help and now she was able to share in it.
"Did he ask about your brother?" Gus inquired curiously, wondering if Quentin Newton might be some kind of roadblock for Jayce.
Jayce nodded, eyes laced with momentary sorrow. "Indeed he did. I told him I haven't seen my brother since I picked up Princess that faithful day. Then my mother tried to lie about seeing him and she lied about his drug-use. Thankfully, Andrew had police reports to back up the fact that my brother is addicted to everything under the sun."
Gus nodded. "That's great that you got her." She bounced a little more, having so much trouble containing her happiness. She was not sure the last time she felt this happy, but she considered it was probably when her littler sister graduated.
Jayce reached across the table and held onto Gus' hand. That small gesture stopped the businesswoman from childishly jumping in her seat. They stared at each other for a long moment before Jayce continued the conversation.
"You're the reason I've got her for now," Jayce stated, appreciation brightly shining in her dark eyes.
"For now?" Gus echoed. That seemed like a might odd choice of words.
Jayce nodded and blinked, causing the happy glint in her eyes to disappear. Gus was upset at herself for asking that question. She wished that shine remained in Jayce's eyes forever.
"Well, really, it's more than likely just temporary that I have custody of her. My mother's going to fight it, no doubt about it. She's going to find people to talk about how I'm a lesbian and I don't have a job. Hell, she tried to bring that up today, but she didn't have anything really to present in court. I guess she thought just her word would carry things, but now that she knows that's not the case, she's loading up her ammo. I know it. I'm sure it'll be coming full force soon, though. She fights so dirty too and she's not below making things up about me," Jayce said, sniffling a little.
"What do you mean?" Gus asked, griping the hand holding hers just a little tighter to let Jayce know that she was there for her.
"My mother...she can be vicious. When I was in college, she actually tried to get me kicked out a bunch of times. I don't know why. Maybe it's just because she's a malicious old goat, but she would say things like I copied my papers and I was sleeping with my professors. Hell, once she said I was a prostitute who only serviced women!"
Gus' eyes went wide, unable to imagine a mother doing something so horrible to her own child. "Oh, god. Your mother is unbelievable to do shit like that!" she commented, unsure of what else to say.
"That she is, but I don't care. She can throw whatever she wants at me. I don't know what I'm going to do about the job because the only reason I got the job I had was because my boss liked my mother. So, I don't know what I'm going to do about that, but I'm not giving up. It's going to be a hell of a fight."
Gus reached across the table with her free hand and took Jayce's other hand into hers, linking them by both hands now. Warmth passed between them and Jayce felt happiness that she could share this moment with someone that genuinely cared. Having someone to share this with made everything seem so much more important, significant, and precious. Little did she know, but it felt that way for Gus too because she felt special at being able to share something like this with Jayce.
Jayce also felt guilty because of how she treated Gus that morning. Gus had done so much for her and she had paid her back with gross mistrust. She figured that she was going to have to make that up to her host and definite new best friend.
"You'll make it through this fight. You're strong, tough, and you care about Princess more than anybody else," Gus pointed out.
Jayce looked skeptical. "Love will be enough?" The look in her eyes let her companion know that she needed a positive answer.
"It will be in this case," Gus promised her guest.
Jayce was not sure why, but she believed Gus with every fiber of her being. After that, the shorter woman shifted the conversation because she did not need to discuss the court battle anymore. She asked Gus about her day. They did not release their hands, but neither of them noticed that.
"My day was pretty good. I had a meeting today about developing some new educational games and I got some really good ideas. I'm pretty sure the next thing we create will be about math and teaching kids everything from the basics to building until they make it to algebra. This got us to kicking around other ideas. Maybe even developing software for older kids," Gus explained with a smile.
Jayce nodded, but did not add to the discussion because the waiter came over to take their orders. The waiter glanced at their hands, which made them realize what they were doing. They finally let go and gave the waiter their orders. Once that was out of the way, the pair went back to talking with each other. They also took the time to pay attention to Princess, making sure she did not feel neglected. From the size of the baby's smile, they knew they were going a good job.
"So, what made you want to start a software company making education things for children?" Jayce asked curiously.
Gus shrugged. "I guess it's sort of like being a teacher without the headache that I know goes with it. And just in case you're wondering how I know, my mom was a teacher. God bless her for that because I know I wouldn't have been able to take it. My dad is the one that got me into computers. I guess I just combined the two. I love it, though. I love brainstorming new ideas. I love going to pitch meetings. I love playing around with the games in development before they go to market. I even like watching the interactive videos. I use the things like a kid sometimes. I just love it all."
Jayce nodded again. "That's good."
The conversation was paused again as they turned to Princess. The baby was "feeding" herself. Food was going just about everywhere, but some of it was making it into her mouth. To make sure she left the restaurant full, both adults shared some of their meal with her. By the end of the night, Jayce took Princess to the bathroom to clean her off while Gus handled the bill.
"That's a beautiful family you have there," the waiter commented with a happy smile, speaking to Gus.
Instead of correcting him, Gus just smiled and nodded. It's easier than explaining the circumstances and it's not like he would care about that anyway. She did leave him a generous tip and then left to get the car, so that Jayce and Princess would not have to wait outside for the valet to bring it around. The thoughtful gesture was greatly appreciated and expressed when Jayce came out to the vehicle.
"And they say chivalry is dead," the former accountant remarked as Gus helped her put Princess into the car seat. Gus only grinned at her, but there seemed to be a slight blush coloring her cheeks because of the compliment.
The night was not over once they got back to the house. Without a thought, they ended up on the sofa, watching a kiddie movie for Princess' amusement. The baby was thoroughly entertained, falling asleep a little before nine. The adults actually watched the whole movie before Jayce stood to put Princess to bed.
"Can you hold her while I set up her playpen?" Jayce asked, gently rocking Princess to make sure she remained asleep. Really, it was unnecessary, but Jayce enjoyed holding her and rocking her.
"Of course," Gus replied with a smile, happy to take the sleeping child.
The unemployed accountant went to get the playpen from the dining room, where she put the box with her things in it. She glanced over Gus and smiled, seeing just how much Gus did like the child. Affection shined through those light brown eyes, beaming like twin stars.
"I guess I can take the floor now that I have some place for Princess to sleep," Jayce announced as she returned with the folded-up playpen as well as some pillows and a baby blanket tucked under her arm.
"You don't have to. I'm fine with the floor," Gus replied. "Let me help you with that," she offered, starting to stand.
"You're helping by holding Princess," Jayce stated. "Gus, you don't have to do everything. You've done more than enough, okay?"
The businesswoman gave in, hearing the firmness in Jayce's tone. She sat back and held onto Princess while Jayce set things up to put the baby in the playpen. Princess was laid down on top of one blanket and covered with another. Once Princess was comfortable, Jayce turned to Gus and smiled.
"Join me for a grown-up movie?" Gus offered, hope coming through her voice and shimmering in her eyes.
"Yes, thank you," Jayce replied and flopped back down onto the couch. The channel was changed and they made themselves comfortable very close to each other. Before the night was over, Jayce was leaning against Gus, who put her arm around Jayce's shoulders. They did not notice, but it felt so comfortable and natural that even if they did notice, it would not have made a difference.
They did not realize it, but that night shifted something between them. They were infinitely more comfortable with each other, to the point where Jayce had no problem with leaving Princess with Gus for small amounts of time, like when she took trips to the store or such. Gus started calling Jayce often at home, checking on her and making sure everything was all right. Sometimes, she would bring home takeout for dinner, learning all of Jayce's favorite foods in the process. They cuddled more on the couch, whether they were watching movies or not. They took genuine comfort in each other's presence and shared in responsibilities when it came to Princess.
---------------
"Gus, can you get Princess for me?" Jayce called, standing in front of the stove and working on scrambled eggs.
"No problem," Gus replied, walking into the living room while scratching her head. She noticed the child by the television, dancing and laughing. "Come on, little bit. Mommy made breakfast for us," the businesswoman commented, scooping the child up.
"'Us!" Princess cheered, throwing her arms around the woman's neck and hugging her tightly.
Gus blushed, realizing that the baby was trying to say her name. Princess did not attempt speaking much, so it was touching that she would try to say Gus' name. They went into the dining room as Jayce started to serve the plates. Princess had a small bowl of hot oatmeal, but she would also share in Gus' breakfast of French toast with powdered sugar, scrambled eggs, and diced melon. Jayce then poured them some orange juice, putting some in a non-spill cup for Princess.
Gus watched Jayce move for a moment and thought about how much she appreciated all of the things that Jayce brought into her life. On top of that list would be Princess, but right underneath her and great company was home-cooked meals. Jayce was a wonderful chef and she loved cooking for Gus, which was flattering for the taller woman. She loved the way that Jayce served her for every meal too and heaven forbid she try to help. Even the manner in which Jayce glared at her made her list of appreciated things! Of course, it also scared the hell out of her enough to back off whenever Jayce glared at her and scolded her.
Ever since she took Jayce out to celebrate, she somehow felt like things got infinitely better too. She and Jayce were much more comfortable and familiar around each other. She supposed it was because of the level of trust that Jayce showed in her now. Like today, she was being given the honor and privilege of keeping Princess while Jayce had to go back to court to face new, wild allegations from her mother. So, Gus was going to have Princess for the whole day and she was very much looking forward to that.
"Hey, Jayce, would you mind if I go out and buy a high-chair today?" Gus asked, not wanting to overstep her boundaries...although there seemed to be less and less of those as time went on. It was just always better to ask Jayce then just do or she would have to deal with a mild argument or eternal verbal thanks. Neither of which she wanted to bother with.
"Tired of holding her on your lap every day?" Jayce teased as she eased down into her seat.
"She is getting a little heavy," Gus admitted, bouncing the baby just a little bit. Seriously, she could feel some weight on the baby that had not been there when the child first arrived at the house. She figured that it might just be the natural weight that came from being a growing child.
"That's good. She's always been underweight, so hopefully she is gaining weight. It'll help her stay healthy. But, back to your question. I don't suppose I would be able to stop you if you decided to get a high-chair," Jayce answered.
The taller woman smiled. "Now you're learning," she declared pointing at the shorter women with a smile adorning her face. "I knew you were trainable," she added as a tease.
Dark eyes rolled dramatically. "Do you think you can do that while you have Princess with you, though? I mean, it's bad enough you're going to take her to work and to the doctor, but you want to go shopping too?" Jayce inquired seriously with a craned eyebrow. She thought that Gus was planning a little too much for her day, especially since she was spending the day with the baby.
Gus waved it off. "I'll be fine. Princess is great with me. You just worry about knocking down whatever your mother has to throw at you. Focus on what's going on in court. Princess'll be fine," she promised.
Jayce laughed and shook her head. "It's not Princess I'm worried about. I don't want you to try too much on your first outside babysitting venture."
"This isn't my first time at the rodeo. I did have to raise my sister," the taller woman reminded Jayce, holding her head up high with pride.
"Watching a teenager is a lot different than watching a baby," the ebony-haired woman gently countered.
"Hey, I'm fine with her when you go to the store and everything. Why should this be any different?" Gus inquired with a shrug. I can handle this! Princess was a gem and she had watched her on numerous different occasions already.
The baby's guardian could not help chuckling for a moment. "Maybe because this'll be outside and you'll have her for more than an hour by yourself. Not to mention, you've never taken her to work or to the doctor before. So, it will be different."
"Jayce, I'll be fine. Trust me, okay?" Gus flashed a brilliant smile. She knew it would be different and she was ready for that. She did not want Jayce to worry about it when she was confident everything would be fine.
"Sweetie, I do trust you. Trust has nothing to do with it. We both know that things don't always go as planned."
The businesswoman nodded and waved off the concern. "Right, right, right. Don't worry, though. If I don't know what to do, I'll call you right away. If you can't answer, I'll just come right back here," she promised with a smile.
Jayce shook her head. "I don't mean to make it sound like you're incapable-" She was quickly silenced by a hand coming over the table to hold hers and Gus speaking up.
"Hey, it's all right. You're a mom and I know how much moms worry. I'm flattered that you're going to let me take care of her while you're in court, fighting the good fight. I don't want you to worry about anything else, Jay. You don't deserve the stress you're being put through. Focus on winning this battle, okay, Jay?"
Jayce blushed, mostly from the use of a nickname. She had never been given one before. Gus did not seem to notice that she did it, but it caused a warm feeling to flow through Jayce. Once her mind returned to her, she nodded to show that she agreed.
"Now, let's eat breakfast, so we can both kick butt today," Gus declared and Princess chimed in right on time with a loud cheer. Jayce nodded again, feeling confident that Princess would be fine and she did just need to worry about the next round in court against her mother.
---------------
10: Parting is just sorrow
"Okay, little bit, we've got your high-chair set up, but now we need to get things together for your mom. We're going to celebrate tonight, little bit," Gus said to Princess after she finished putting up her purchase of the day. The high chair was set up tall and proud right next to the table in the dining room, so the next meal that they had there, Princess would have her own seat.
Princess was busy with another purchase of the day-a large stuffed fox that was the same size as the child. She was rolling around on the floor with the toy, hugging it tightly and giggling while she did it. Gus bent down to get a closer look at the baby to make sure she was not in any danger of hurting herself. Princess paused to smile at the adult and then she cuddled up to the toy, much like she did with Jayce and Gus.
"I know your mom won in court today, even if she didn't call us to let us know. I mean, your doc was sure her mother didn't have a leg to stand on because she's been the only person keeping you alive since you were born and I know Andrew isn't going to lose. He just can't accept that. Plus, your mom loves you so much that I know she has to win. It's just that simple. So, I got some of your mom's favorite movies and I'm going to call for some takeout. Now, what do you want?" Gus asked, genuinely curious if the baby would answer.
"'Us!" Princess replied, putting her arms up.
"Okay, aside from being picked up, what else do you want?" Gus inquired with a smile, leaning down to pluck the child up from the floor.
Princess did not respond, simply hugging Gus and cuddling into her chest. Gus recently found out that this meant the baby was ready for a nap. Going into the living room, she sat down on the sofa and turned on the television. She watched a show while Princess drifted right off to sleep, curled into her chest, tiny ear close to her heart. Gus could not stop smiling as she held onto the baby and continued to watch her show.
Every now and then, she glanced down at Princess and thought about their day together. She had a good time watching the baby. Princess was a big hit at her office with everyone wanting to hold her and pass her around while smiling and talking to the child. Princess mostly just smiled back at first. Apparently, Princess never met a stranger.
Gus enjoyed explaining that Princess was her friend's baby and they were hanging out together. Princess seemed to get a huge kick out of it too, staring around at all of the new faces, pointing at everything, and going so far as to try to touch a bunch of items in Gus' office. The businesswoman had not minded one bit.
She had been more nervous about the doctor's visit. She was not sure if she wanted to hear what might be wrong with Princess. Jayce often spoke about the health problems that Princess had to endure from having drug-addicted parents and also from being born premature. But, according to the doctor, Princess was showing fine progress and was looking better every time he saw her. For such a good checkup, Gus treated the child to some sweets, which Princess appreciated if her content grin had meant anything.
After that, they had gone shopping for the high chair. At first, Gus was not sure where she would buy such a thing from, but easily found out from a phone call to a good friend who had kids of her own. With that help, it was easy for her to find what she was looking for and pick up the extra-large cuddle toy for the baby.
"It was a good day," the brown-haired woman decided, eyes going back the show.
The sound of the door opening took Gus' attention away from the television. She stood up and went to meet Jayce, knowing that it was her at the door. Gus kept Princess in her arms as she watched her housemate step in. The ebony-haired woman was grinning, which let Gus know that things had gone her way. She leaned in, giving Jayce a warm hug while they were both careful of the napping baby.
"Any more court dates?" Gus asked curiously, hoping that was not the case.
"Why? Having trouble watching her majesty today?" Jayce teased, delight dancing in her dark eyes.
"Of course not! We had a blast! The office loved her, begging to know when she was coming back. She was a great help in picking out a high-chair and an angel when we were at the doctor's office. Oh, she had a very positive checkup today. The doctor was very impressed with her and with the way you've been taking care of her. Princess, strong like bull," Gus explained with a laughing smile as she made a muscle with one arm while making sure to hold onto Princess with the other.
Jayce grinned and rubbed Princess' back. "I'm so glad to hear that. Hey, pretty baby, you're getting better."
"I think today was too much excitement for her. She's dead to the world," Gus reported with a light chuckle.
"She needs the sleep too, so that's fine. She might be wired tonight, though," Jayce replied.
"It's fine. Not like either of us mind being up with her. Now, I want you to tell me about today while we watch some of your favorite movies," Gus announced, taking Jayce by the hand. She led the smaller woman into the living room.
"You are too good to us, Gus. Most people wouldn't bother to remember my favorite movies. Actually, I think you're the only one," Jayce commented with a small, soft smile. She doubted that anyone had ever taken an interest in her or her life like Gus had.
Gus shook her head. "Then they're all missing out. You like a lot of great things from what I've noticed."
Jayce could not help blushing, not used to this attention. Jannie would pay her some mind and take an interest in some things with her, but definitely not to the extent of remembering her favorite movies or thinking to rent them for her in a moment of celebration. She knew that she was going to loathe leaving Gus, but it was going to be necessary. She was not a permanent resident and she was expected to leave at some point; she often had to remind herself of this. Gus was only doing this out of the goodness of her heart and surely she wanted to get on with her life, Jayce silently reasoned.
"So, what happened today?" Gus asked curiously, lying Princess across her chest again to make sure the baby was comfortable. Princess made a little noise, rubbed her nose in Gus' chest, and settled back down, remaining asleep through it all. She then settled in close to her houseguest, looking at Jayce as if the ebony-haired woman held the secrets of the universe.
"Well, my mom pulled out all of the stops today. We were in court all day because of her crap. I mean, she had people come in that talked about how I molested them, how I scammed them out of things, how I couldn't get employed, how I was homeless and leaving on the streets or under a bridge, how I was involved in conning older women out of money, how I was a call girl, and just all kinds of outrageous nonsense. Someone actually came in and accused me of being on drugs and starting Q on drugs, and I sexually abuse Princess. It was just awful," Jayce reported, shaking her head. Some sorrow worked its way into her eyes. No matter how long it went on, she still found it hard to believe that her mother was willing to tell such lies about her.
"Wow, your mother is ruthless," Gus commented, putting an arm around Jayce to bring her some comfort. She caressed Jayce's shoulder, helping to relax the smaller woman.
Jayce leaned into the warm embrace and continued on. "For once, it came back and bit her in the ass, though. The judge wasn't impressed with her antics and said as much. In fact, he looked downright pissed after a while. She didn't have anything to back those claims up, after all. She did make points that I didn't have a job or a place to live, but Andrew had that covered."
"How so?" Gus inquired. She liked hearing about his tricks.
"He gave out my card to some of his associates and they hired me as their private accountant."
"Damn, why didn't I think of that?" Gus grumbled, glancing off to the side. It would have been a very good way to make up for getting the ebony-haired woman fired, after all.
Jayce patted her friend's hand. "It's okay. You've already done enough. I wouldn't have accepted that anyway. But, that handled the job problem. He pointed out that I live here, so the homelessness was not an issue either. I think her biggest mistake was actually admitting that she would give Princess back to Q when she saw him without checking up on him first. I don't think her lawyer wanted her to say that either, but she let's her mouth get away from her all the time. The judge ruled in my favor. Someone is going to come through here to make sure everything checks out and I'm taking care of Princess, but for the most part Princess is my responsibility now. I won. She gets to stay with me."
Gus grinned merrily. "That's great! You're a great mom and whoever the judge has come around to check on that will definitely see it. You are a great mom," she proclaimed, clutching Jayce just a little tighter to her.
A blush stained Jayce's cheeks. "Thanks."
Gus eyed Jayce, wanting to tell her that she was pretty when she blushed, but she held off. Instead, she moved to grab the remote and turned on the first movie, having to release Jayce from her hug to do it. Jayce squirmed in her seat a bit, missing the body against her, but not wanting to say anything about it or show that she missed being pressed against Gus. Before sitting back down, Gus made a call for some takeout.
"You certainly are pulling out all of the stops," Jayce remarked, laughing a bit as the taller woman settled back down next to her.
"No, pulling out all of the stops would be finding a babysitter for the night and taking you to Scarlet's for a real meal," Gus replied quite seriously.
"Oh, Gus, you don't have to do that," Jayce objected. She had gone to Scarlet's once in her life with Jannie. It was a top-class restaurant with prices to prove it. The elegance and atmosphere of the place was great, but Jayce doubted that she would ever really want to go back there. Not because of the prices, but because she preferred simpler things.
"I know I don't have to do it. I would like to do it one day, though. You deserve it," Gus stated. She would love nothing more than to treat Jayce to a real evening on the town, which would include a meal at Scarlet's as well as several other things that Gus was sure Jayce was never treated to. She hoped that she would get the opportunity to do so.
"You don't have to," the accountant repeated.
Gus gave her a charming half-smile that made the smaller woman swallow hard. "I know I don't have to, but I would like to. I also would like for you to accept that," the businesswoman gently stated.
Jayce was not sure how to respond to that, but found herself nodding. Gus grinned and they both turned their attention to the movie. Gus pondered for a moment if she should and could put her arm around Jayce again. She wondered if the embrace had been accepted before because it was an emotional moment or because Jayce enjoyed it. Before her brain could come up with a decision, her arm moved on its own, wrapping itself around Jayce's shoulder and pulling the shorter woman closer. Jayce did not resist and curled into Gus' side.
Before the food showed up, Princess woke up and practically jumped into Jayce's arms when she noticed the other woman. Jayce laughed and embraced the child, who planted a huge kiss on Jayce's cheek. Gus then leaned down and whispered something into the baby's ear. Princess giggled like mad.
"Mama!" Princess suddenly declared in a loud, elated voice.
And suddenly there were tears in Jayce's eyes again. She sniffled and wiped them away. For a moment, she glared at her hostess, but Gus could tell the glower was not from true anger.
"Damn it, Gus, do you realize I've cried more with you than I have in my whole life?" she demanded, hugging Princess close to her, hoping the baby would feel all of the love and joy that was inside of her. She tried not to think about her words to Gus, knowing that she had never been comfortable around someone enough to cry in front of them, but she could not stop the waterworks around the businesswoman. Something about Gus made her feel safe, secure, and let her know it was all right to show any and all emotions inside of her.
"It's all right. I don't hold it against you and I'm sure it feels hella good to let it out," Gus remarked with a charming smile, obviously trying to get a laugh out of her companion. She succeeded.
They had a quiet night at home, as they had been having for the past couple of months. They even stayed curled up close to each other, both taking great joy in feeling the other close to them. It was almost pure bliss, they both thought. Everything seemed to be fine until Jayce said something that made Gus' heart pretty much stop.
"I looked at apartments today too. Just one spot, but I looked," Jayce commented casually. She wanted to throw that out there to show Gus that she was not going to take advantage of her kindness anymore than she had already. She also did it to remind herself that she was leaving soon and that she needed to keep that in mind. She needed to stop taking such solace from Gus' presence and get on with her life before things got so deep that she ended up drowning.
Gus choked on air. "Apartments?" her voice trembled as she echoed the word. Fear raced through her as it hit her that Jayce and Princess were not supposed to be staying with her. It was just supposed to be temporary. But...I don't want... She did not allow her brain to finish that thought.
"Yes, apartments. I felt free after the ruling and figured that it's about time we get out of your hair. Thank you so much for everything, Gus, but you need to get on with your life. You don't need us here, slowing you down," Jayce explained, trying to maintain eye contact, but finding it rather hard to do so. She did not want it confirmed that she and Princess were liabilities, even though she heavily doubted that Gus would ever do that.
"But...but...you're not slowing me down," Gus protested. I love having you guys here! I love coming home to you! I love doing stuff for you and having you do stuff for me! I love taking care of Princess with you! I love just being around both of you! You make me feel alive and worthwhile! I want you to stay. "But, I guess you should get on with your life. I mean, you have a job now and everything..." she sounded more sincere than she felt. You don't need me anymore.
Jayce swallowed a lump around her throat, seeing the despair in hazel eyes. "It's for the best, Gus." You need to move on and so do we before we get any deeper in this thing. Whatever "this thing" is.
Gus nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know. Can I come and visit when you leave? And maybe we talk...you know, every now and then?" she asked shyly. Maybe if she visited, they could build on that, she thought. She had a very good feeling what she wanted to build, but it felt like she had that already. Why should build what we already have? Well, because obviously, they did not have what she thought that did and she knew that. They had some weird pseudo-form of what she wanted.
"I would like that a lot, Gus. You're pretty much the best friend I've ever had in my whole life. I've grown used to talk to you every day about everything, so I would like to keep that up as best we can. But, let's not talk about that now. I mean, we're all still here."
"Right." Gus nodded. Enjoy it while it lasts.
They went back to cuddling, but now things seemed different. Gus was tense and did not focus on what they were watching. Instead, she was deep in thought and making wishes in her mind. She doubted that they would come true and she was not sure if it would be right of her to request that Jayce stay. Besides, it would hurt a lot more if she asked and Jayce decided to leave anyway. It was indeed best to enjoy it while it lasted.
---------------
Jayce smiled softly as she entered the living room and saw Gus knocked out with Princess sleeping on her chest. She loathed that soon this scene would not be common for her. She wondered how Princess was going to take being separated from "'Us." Naptime would be hell that was certain because Princess was used to sleeping on Gus now.
"But, we all need this. Living together is just us building up a weird lie," Jayce muttered to herself. Still, that thought did not stop her stomach from twisting into a knot at the thought of not being in the house anymore, not having Gus' presence and support anymore. Then there was the fear that moving out would change everything between them and they would somehow lose everything. "We need to move on and I guess we'll be moving out sometime this week."
Jayce had just come back from an apartment that was all ready for her and Princess to move in to. She closed on the deal earlier, which was why she had been out. And now that she did not have to worry about someone coming to check on Princess' progress with her anymore, it was the best time to move on. She needed to get her own life and stop depending on Gus for everything, no matter how scary the thought was to not have Gus as she did right now.
She thought that maybe once she was away from Gus, she could also figure out if the feelings that she had for the taller woman meant anything. She knew the emotion was there, even when she tried to ignore it. She wondered if it came from her dependency on Gus or if it was something real. In order to explore that, she needed to get away from Gus for a while and see how she felt about that. Part of her hoped that the emotion was real, but a larger part of her hoped that the emotion only came from the comfort that came from living with Gus the past few months.
She did not really want to be attracted to Gus or have deeper feelings for the businesswoman because she doubted that the feelings would be returned. First off, she had dated Gus' little sister, so she knew that would be a huge obstacle. Sometimes, the irrational fear crept up on her that Gus would somehow turn into Jannie, even though Gus proved to be completely different from the sibling that she raised. The fear only lasted seconds whenever it did show up, but it was still there.
There was always the chance that Gus was just being nice to her out of guilt too since Gus believed that she was the reason that Jayce was fired and she also believed that she was the reason Jannie threw Jayce out. That really scared her. What if Gus was just being nice to her from guilt and nothing more?
Focusing on the sleeping duo to take her mind off of her worries, Jayce was sure of one thing-Gus really liked Princess and the feeling was mutual. Gus never had any problem with doing anything with or for the baby. Princess' face lit up in a special way whenever she laid eyes on Gus. They adored each other and Jayce was glad for that. She hoped that after everything, Gus still wanted to be in contact with Princess at the least because she believed that Gus could and would be a great help in Princess' life.
Moving to wake the napping pair and break the news to Gus, Jayce was taken from that task when the doorbell rang. She turned around and went back to the door, happy for an excuse not to wake the duo yet anyway.
"Who is it?" Jayce called before opening the door. She noted that since she had been there Gus had not gotten many visitors. But, she did get a lot of phone calls and she spent a lot of time answering emails, so she doubted that her hostess was lacking in friends.
There was a long pause. "You sound familiar. Who are you?" the voice countered.
Jayce blinked; that voice did sound familiar. Hesitation held her for a second, but she opened the door. Standing in front of her was Jannie, who was frowning deeply and instantly glaring at her with hard hazel eyes. Jayce frowned too, not used to seeing light brown eyes filled with anger anymore.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Jannie demanded, snarling at her former girlfriend.
Not waiting for a response, Jannie pushed past her ex and stepped deeper into the house. Jayce shut the door, not too sure what to do. It was not like she could kick Jannie out; this was her sister's house, after all. She was just going to have to wait and see how Gus handled things.
Jannie stopped dead in her tracks when she came to the living room and took in the sight. It was not just Gus sleeping on the couch with the baby. It was also all of the baby things that were sprinkled through out the floor.
"What the hell is going on here?" the college student roared, turning to Jayce for answers. "Goddamn it, Jayce, are you fucking my sister?!" she demanded, pointing a sharp, accusing finger at her ex-girlfriend.
Before Jayce could respond, Princess let out a short cry, disliking her sleep being disturbed. This stirred Gus much more than the yelling did. Gus gently rubbed the child's back, calming her down. A yawn escaped the businesswoman before she opened one eye to see what all of the commotion was about.
"Jannie, what're you doing here?" Gus inquired in a curious, partially sleepy tone.
"What am I doing here?! What the hell is my ex-girlfriend doing here is a better question!" Jannie hollered, face turning red from her fury.
"I don't see how that's any of your business. You kicked her out, after all, and wouldn't take her back into the house at least, even though you knew she didn't have anywhere to go. You said she wasn't any of your concern," Gus pointed out.
"So, you bring her in here?!" the younger sister demanded, stomping her foot hard.
"Yes, and I need you to stop screaming. Princess is trying to sleep," Gus calmly replied, rubbing the baby's back a little more to help keep her asleep.
"I don't give a shit!" Jannie roared, eyes blazing and body language carrying any part of the message they might have missed.
Gus curled her lip in disgust and shook her head. Climbing off of the couch, she strolled off into the back with Princess in her arms, walking away as if she had not even heard her sister's screaming. Jannie watched her sister going, staring daggers at the older woman's back. When Gus was out of sight, she turned her glare on her ex-girlfriend.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Jannie barked again, snarling like an enraged animal. Her face was twisted and distorted, hiding any and all traces of the physical beauty that she held.
"She doesn't have to answer you," Gus replied sharply, returning to the living room.
"I can't believe you, Augusta! You can't keep a woman of your own, so you're picking up my scraps! You're really becoming a loser, Augusta!" Jannie declared. Each time she said her sister's full name, it was covered in venom and spite.
"Are you done yet? Because I'm not impressed with all of the yelling or your tone or your goddamn attitude in general," Gus commented dryly. "Let me know when you want to talk about this like an adult."
Jannie scoffed dramatically, throwing her head back. "Please, like there's anything to fucking talk about. My loser sister is screwing my loser ex-girlfriend, not caring that Jayce is only doing it because she's needs a place to stay to keep that brat! She's just prostituting herself to you! You're just being used again and you're too stupid to see it!"
"Jannie, I think it would be best if you left," Gus stated in a completely unruffled manner. Her decision was based more on the hurt look on Jayce's face rather than the hysterics that her little sister was in. Besides, it did not seem like she would be able to speak rationally with her younger sibling.
"You think it would be best if I left?! You should be kicking out Jayce, but you're too chicken-shit to do that! She fuck you that good, Gus?" Jannie sneered. "Not that you'd know since you're a cold fish in bed, right?"
Gus' eyes narrowed. "Jannie, I'm about a second away from tossing you out on your ass and you know I will, so you better go." With her build, it would be no problem for her to pick up her little sister and flung her out onto the lawn.
Jannie glared at both women again before turning and storming out of the house. She slammed the door so hard that whole place shook. Gus rolled her eyes at the display and then turned her attention to Jayce, rushing over to the smaller woman. Gus wasted no time wrapping Jayce in a hug, which she returned.
"That went well," Jayce muttered sarcastically.
"As well as one can expect from Jannie nowadays. This is why I didn't tell her in the first place. I knew she'd be mean and resentful about it," Gus explained, rubbing the small of Jayce's back to help soothe away any hurt feeling. Part of her recognized just how well they fit together and how much she wanted to hold Jayce like this as much as possible, how much she wanted to soothe away all bad things from the shorter woman.
"You were right about that, but was kicking her out the right thing to do?" Jayce wondered aloud.
"What? It's not like I would've been able to explain what happened to her while she was in that state. When she's a bit more rational, I'll talk to her about."
"But, she still won't be happy about it."
"You're right about that, but she's going to have to deal with it."
Jayce sighed and pulled away a little to look the taller woman in the eye. "Gus, I don't want to come between you and your sister. You're the only family you each have and I really don't want to do anything to damage that. Jannie adores you and I don't want to break that apart. I need to move out."
Gus was silent for a moment, doing her best not to frown. She hated being reminded that one day Jayce and Princess were going to be leaving her. She had grown accustomed to having them around and did not see any reason to change that. But, she did not voice that thought because she doubted that Jayce felt the same way. Besides, realistically, she knew that Jayce could not stay with her forever.
"Well, you will, eventually. But, until then, Jannie is going to have to deal with it. Besides, it's not like we're in a relationship or anything." The businesswoman did her best not to sound upset while speaking that last sentence. She could not stop the flash of anger and pain that went through her eyes for a moment, though.
It was Jayce's turn to be quiet and fight back a scowl. "You're right, but still, I don't want to cause trouble between you and your sister. Thankfully, I found an apartment this afternoon. I can move in anytime."
Gus' embrace tightened and she looked down at Jayce with sorrowful eyes. "You're leaving, Jay?" she whimpered. Oh, god, I don't want to be alone now! Not after having you and Princess with me for these past few months! These were the best four months of my life!
Jayce swallowed a little, trying to fight off the sensation that she was drowning in those lovely hazel eyes. For a moment, she dared to consider that Gus wanted her and Princess to stay. She even entertained the thought that Gus might see her as more than a charity case, but maybe as a friend.
"I have to. We both need to get on with our lives, Gus. We've talked about this already," the accountant reminded her host.
"I know..." Gus sighed. "I just didn't think you'd be leaving so soon. I've gotten really used to having you here," she admitted. Probably more than I should have, but I can't help it. You're so special, Jay. You and your little girl are so goddamn special and everyone else is blind if they can't see that.
"I know. I've gotten used to being here, but this was never meant to be permanent. Thank you for taking great care of me and Princess, but now I have to stand on my own. I also need to get Princess somewhere stable. I don't want her to start thinking this is home or it'll be that much harder on her when we do leave." I don't want to start thinking that either because I know you didn't mean for it to be that way. I don't want to be anymore confused than I already am too. I need to sort myself out before I can even begin to deal with you again, dear, sweet, and charming Augusta Tucker.
"I'll help you get your things together. Is that okay?" Gus asked, her voice sounding small and frightened to her own ears.
"Of course."
"And I can come visit, right?" Hazel eyes sparkled with hope while her voice trembled.
"Of course," Jayce stated soundly. This got a beaming smile from the taller woman.
"And you can come visit me. And if you ever need a babysitter for the spud, you know you can call me."
"I know."
Though the conversation was over, they did not let go of each other. They felt something that was too deep and intense to sever yet. There was something very peaceful and healing going on between them, something that they wanted to hold onto for as long as possible.
---------------
Moving was relatively painless because Jayce did not have much to move. Gus offered to go shopping with her for furniture, but Jayce turned her down, knowing that Gus would then offer to pay and all sorts of things. The whole point of moving was to strike out on her own than to have Gus provide for her.
After helping with the move, Gus went home and the silence that greeted her was booming. It only took about five minutes for her to decide that she could not take the deafening, choking quiet that engulfed her. She went out, hoping that would soothe the ache in her heart and fill the huge void in her soul, but when she came back home, the silence seemed even louder. She went to watch some television, but found it was not the same with Jayce not on the sofa with her and Princess was not curled up in between them. It just felt lonely and empty. So, she gave up and just went to bed.
The thundering wail of the alarm clock woke her up for the first time in months. In a daze, she reached for it, but could not recall how to turn it off. She ended up just yanking it out of the wall before falling out of bed. She expected to smell breakfast, but no such aroma greeted her. There were no songs in the air to indicate that Princess was up and watching television.
"This sucks..." Gus muttered, scratching her head on her way to the bathroom.
Once she was done in the bathroom, she put on a suit and had breakfast that consisted of coffee and a slice of burnt toast. She was out of the house in less than twenty minutes. On the way out, she glanced back into the house and noticed that everything was still and quiet. She felt as vacant as the house looked.
"The loneliness will go away, eventually. I felt like this when Jannie moved out for college. I felt like this when I moved in here. It'll go away. It has to go away," Gus told herself, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.
The gaping hole did not get any smaller with time, though. After a week, Gus began having breakfast at Marco's, the small bistro that she knew Jayce enjoyed. She was hoping to run into Jayce, but it was not destined to be. Still, Gus went everyday, even though Zoe refused to serve her and she suspected Sam, the young man behind the counter, spit in her food when she was not looking. And it was often that she was not looking before she was trying to spot Jayce.
Gus sighed, exiting the café after another disheartening day and throwing out her muffin in a nearby garbage can. "This is pathetic. I'm pathetic. I should just go over there, but I don't want her to feel like I'm crowding her. Maybe I could call her tonight, just to check up on her. The sound of her voice and Princess might help me get more than three hours of sleep..." she muttered to herself.
In the end, she did not call. She did not want to smother Jayce, so she figured that she would try to make it to the end of the month before calling or begging if she could come visit. In the meantime, she moped around her empty house, remembering when there was life around the place.
The days ticked by slowly and she often wondered what Jayce and Princess were doing. In moments of weakness, she found herself reaching for the phone. She even called a couple of times, requesting to speak with the baby at times she knew Princess was already asleep. Just hearing Jayce answer the phone was balm to her agonized soul. They always exchanged a few pleasantries, but nothing more and got off of the phone quickly with each other.
"She's moving on without me...I should try to do the same..." Gus decided. It was the smartest thing to do, her brain insisted. Her heart just would not listen.
---------------
11: In the right order
"Come on, pretty baby, hush now," Jayce cooed, gently rocking Princess with the hope that it would help put the baby to sleep.
Princess did not seem to know the rocking was supposed to make her sleepy because she continued crying. Her tears had dried up a while ago, but she was still making the noise to show that she was upset. Jayce tried singing to her, which usually worked on calming Princess down, but it had no effect on the distressed child that night. Turning on Princess' favorite show did not get her to quiet down and reading her favorite book did not have any effect either. Jayce was out of ideas for the moment, not totally sure why her usually happy child was so out of sorts lately.
"Princess, why are you so cranky?" Jayce wondered aloud, even though she had a theory for why that was. "I'm sorry, pretty baby, but Gus is gone now. I know you miss her and everything, but we have to learn to live without her. Yes, it's hard. I mean, there's no consistent support, warm hugs, thankful smiles, body to cuddle against, happy presence, and everything, but we have to learn to live without her. She has a life of her own and we have to build a life. She'll come visit soon and we'll go visit her," she promised in a whisper.
Princess seemed to understand the promise because she drifted off to sleep after that. It was always an adventure with Princess to go to bed ever since they moved into their new apartment. Jayce understood the child's frustrations. Gus was Princess' best friend and she missed the businesswoman, especially during naptime and bedtime. The baby had grown accustomed to falling asleep on Gus, listening to Gus' heartbeat like a lullaby. Sometimes Gus would hum to her too and she was used to Gus' voice for it, so it seemed that Jayce singing to her would not cut it.
"Maybe I should call her..." Jayce considered as she placed Princess down on the air mattress that was acting as her bed for now. She planned to go out and buy a crib as soon as she had the cash to do so, but right now, she was on a tight budget. Princess did not seem to mind the sleeping accommodations, just the lack of Gus' involved.
Sitting on the smooth, hardwood floor, Jayce reached for her cell phone, which was plugged into the wall against her back. She went through the received calls, just to see the three times that Gus had called her. A void that she felt deep in her chest widened with every second that ticked by and anxiety crept through her blood as she stared at the familiar number. A phantom voice told her to call Gus, end the pain. Instead, she flicked the phone away from her, not caring if it was damaged as it slammed into the wall.
"I need a reason to call her. I don't want her to think I'm helpless or something like that. There's nothing attractive about that. Do I want her to find me attractive?" A sigh escaped her lips. "Who am I kidding? Yes, I want her to be attracted to me and find me attractive. I want her to want me. If I miss her this much, obviously those feelings I have are real.
"I need a reason to call her. It would be stupid to just call and say 'I miss you and I just wanted to hear your voice.' How needy would that be? She would probably think I'm pathetic. But, I do...I miss her so much..." she admitted aloud with another deep sigh. "I miss everything about Gus, but I have to move on. This way, she can patch things up with Jannie and I can worry about raising Princess. We both have way too much going on in life and neither of us is probably ready for a relationship anyway. I mean, she just ended a marriage and I just ended a year-long relationship. We need to focus on fixing our lives. Hopefully, I can get another job somewhere or at least more clients, get some furniture in here, and get Princess settled into our new home. Until then, life is going to be a struggle and I don't need Gus-on-the-brain distracting me from that."
Deciding against calling did not prevent her from staring at the phone and wishing that Gus would call. Sure, they had not had any deep conversations since she moved out, but just hearing Gus' voice lifted her spirits. Gus just had an aura that made her believe everything would be okay. A smile lit up Jayce's face when the phone did ring and she saw that it was Gus.
"Hello, Gus," Jayce said, doing her best to control her voice. She did not want to sound as joyous as she felt, even though she knew that Gus was not really calling for her. Still, it was such a delight to hear from the taller woman.
"Hey, Jay," Gus replied, voice smooth and smoky, like a warm mist. "Is the little bit still up by any chance?"
Jayce glanced at the "little bit" in question. "I just put her to bed."
"Really? She's going to bed later." She hoped that Jayce did not point out that she was calling at a time when she thought that Princess was in bed. She doubted that she would be able to explain why she was doing that without sounding like some kind of idiot.
"Yeah. She misses you..." Jayce admitted. She sniffled a little and rubbed her eye, biting her lip to avoid confessing who else missed Gus. Silently, she prayed that she would not burst into tears while Gus was on the phone with her.
"I miss her too. Why's she going to bed so late?" the businesswoman asked, concern dripping from her voice.
"I think she just needs to adjust to the new place. I know she misses her napping buddy," Jayce commented, smile heard in her voice.
Gus laughed, sorrow laced underneath the sound of glee. "I haven't had a nap since you two left. Well, I've got work in the morning, so I should get going," she said, not wanting to keep Jayce just in case the other woman did not really want to talk to her, but was being polite. She noticed that Jayce had not called her since leaving, so she considered that Jayce might not be inclined to speak her much.
"Oh, okay." Jayce could not hide her disappointment; she felt it too deeply. "Have you been eating well?" she asked out of the blue, not willing to get off of the phone yet. She just needed to hear Gus for a little while longer.
"Uh..." Gus paused for a moment. Part of her was happy for the excuse to continue speaking to her good friend, but she wished that she could report that she had been taking care of herself. She did not want Jayce to think that she was pitiful and needed someone to take care of her.
"You're not," Jayce answered her own question.
"I'm not. I've been eating a lot of fast food. I think I'm gaining weight from it," Gus replied. It was either the fast food or the intense emptiness devouring her that was putting a spare tire around her middle. She preferred to blame the junk food.
"You need to eat better than that," Jayce gently scolded the older woman. And then she thought better of it; she did not want to come across as a nag because she wanted to keep Gus on the line. "I'm sorry, Gus. I don't have any right to tell you that."
"What's the supposed to mean? You're only telling me that because you care about me. I don't want you to apologize for caring," Gus replied in a semi-hard tone. I want you to care about me!
"I do care, but I don't want to sound like I'm a nagging wife or anything like that."
The choice of words gave them both a bit of a pause. "Wife" echoed through both of their minds. Gus could not help realizing that she missed Jayce in ways that she never missed her now ex-wife, Amanda. She felt closer to Jayce than she ever did to Amanda. She trusted Jayce more than she ever trusted Amanda. She forced down those thoughts before anything further came out because she did not want to the lonely, empty feeling to balloon into something even deeper.
"I don't mind," Gus replied. "It's nice to have someone worrying about me for a change." She was the one that usually did the worrying. Everyone else either assumed that she had everything under control at all time or they just did not give enough of a damn about her to worry.
"I'm sure you have plenty of people that worry about you. I just can't see Amanda getting all of your friends in the divorce," Jayce remarked with a light laugh.
"Please, all she made in that divorce were a hive of busy-bee enemies. She didn't even get a good settlement. I'm sure next time she'll consider sleeping with a lawyer when cheating on someone," Gus joked. Being around Jayce and Princess had healed her enough to joke around about her ex-wife's betrayal. She knew that everything that she wanted out of life would not have been gained with Amanda and now knew that there was something wrong with Amanda and not her. She honestly felt better off. She credited all of that to Jayce and Princess.
"At least you got away from that intact. Speaking of getting away, I should let you go, so you can get ready for bed and you'll be fresh for work," Jayce conceded. She did not want to go too far or she thought that Gus might call less if she did sound like a nag or if she kept Gus from doing important things. I wish I was there with her and didn't have to worry about how long to stay on the phone with her. She never felt this way about anyone before and she was not sure how to handle it.
Gus was silent for a while. "I guess you're right. I should get to bed." And stay up staring at the ceiling, trying to hear you and Princess breathing from miles away.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
The call disconnected and Jayce stared at the phone, feeling tears gathering in her eyes. She wiped the tears away before they could fall...from her eyes anyway. Her heart pretty much erupted into tears, crying out for Gus.
"This doesn't make any sense. We're just friends, so why do I feel like this?" Jayce wondered, rubbing her face.
At first, she blamed her unease from being alone for the first time in over a year, but she knew that was not it. It was not that she missed Jannie-the person that had been with her for a year. No, she knew it was Gus' absence specifically that caused her discomfort and downright pain. She hurt from the loss of companionship, gentle understanding, and pure sincerity that came in everything Gus did. She missed the only person that seemed to care about Princess as much as she did. She missed the only person that seemed to care about her.
Deciding to sleep off the trauma of being separated from Gus, Jayce silently crawled into bed, lying close to Princess. Sleep only came for a few hours before Princess woke up, crying into the dark. Jayce shot up and gathered the child up. Cooing and whispering soothing words, Princess drifted back to sleep after a few minutes. Jayce sighed and placed the baby back down.
"She never did this when we were with Gus..." Jayce muttered. Every night since moving out, Princess woke up in the middle of the night, crying as if she was having a nightmare. A couple of times, she had actually called out for Gus, like she expected Gus to save her. That broke Jayce's heart each time she heard it. Not knowing what to do about it, she just hoped that eventually Princess got over it and moved on.
The next day, Jayce took Princess outside. She thought that going some place familiar and friendly would lift the baby's spirit, as well as her own. Princess was difficult and fussy while getting dressed, but when she saw that they were going outside, she cheered loudly. This put a smile on Jayce's face. It seemed like an eternity since she heard the child cheer over something.
They took the short ride to familiar territory, getting more cheers out of the baby, as they pulled up to Marco's. Princess twisted and turned, trying to get out of her car seat. A chuckle escaped Jayce as she freed the child and carried her into the café. A loud, jovial, high-pitch squeal echoed through the eatery, getting some disdainful looks from many of the patrons.
"You finally brought the baby back!" Zoe grinned, charging over to Jayce. "I wondered what happened to you! We've never gone a week without seeing you let alone something like four whole months!"
"I'll tell you all about it. You'll never believe it," Jayce commented with a small sigh. She could hardly believe it. Those few months that she was gone seemed like some great dream, made great by the presence of a certain hazel-eyed businesswoman who could have quite possibly been a guardian angel in disguise.
"I hope it involves you getting to keep Princess. She's such a cutie and she deserves a parent who loves her unconditionally, like you," Zoe replied.
Jayce smiled. "Thanks. I'm going to take a seat."
Zoe nodded. "I'll bring the usual for both of you and then you can tell me the story. Oh, you won't believe who had the nerve to show her face here! That bitch that kept bothering you from before came in again a bunch of times!"
Jayce paused. Gus? Gus was here? "She did? Did she say anything?"
Zoe shook her head. "Nah, we chased off pretty good. She might've been looking for you again. She came in here all distracted, scanning the crowd and everything. I bet she was looking to bug you. I mean, she even went over to your table and stared it one time, like you were just going to appear there!"
The accountant decided not to fill Zoe in on things while they were standing right there. This is a tale that needs to be told sitting down. She also figured that she needed to sort out what she wanted to share with Zoe and what she wanted to keep to herself. She sat down at a nearby table with Princess on her lap. Princess reached for the salt and peppershakers, but was unable to grab them.
"You hear that, pretty baby? Gus was in here looking for us. She really does miss us. Maybe we should go visit her," Jayce whispered to the busybody baby.
"'Us?" Princess turned around at the sound of that name and stared at Jayce with wide, near-black eyes, begging to know where the tall businesswoman was.
"No, she's not here right now, pretty baby. But, we can go see her," Jayce replied, getting a loud laugh. Princess seemed to approve of the idea. It seemed safe to go see Gus if the taller woman was looking for them. It would not seem like they were butting in on her life then.
Before Jayce could go into further detail, Zoe came over with a high chair for the baby. Jayce sat Princess down and the child continued to reach for the items that were not within her grasp. Zoe walked off, only to return seconds later with Jayce's favorite muffin and a small coffee.
"So, tell me, what happened? Where have you been the past few months? Did you find a job? Did you get custody of Princess? Did that bitch girlfriend of yours ever stop being a bitch? And what about Princess? She's so big now! Did you get custody?" Zoe shot off each question rapidly, not giving Jayce a chance to respond. She finally stopped when a hand went up from Jayce. However, the hand did not stop her from bouncing in her seat, eager to hear what happened.
"Can I weigh in on this conversation or what?" Jayce asked with a teasing smile.
A sheepish blush colored Zoe's cheeks. "Oh, sorry. Go ahead and tell me what happened."
Jayce nodded and went into the story of what happened in her life since the last time that she was at the bistro. Zoe was glued to her seat and listening to every word, leaning in closer every now and then to make sure that she did not miss a single detail. It slipped her mind that she was supposed to be working. No one said anything to her, though. The story went on totally uninterrupted.
"Wow, I didn't expect Gus to be such a nice person," Zoe commented at the end. A thoughtful look appeared in her eyes. "I feel bad for giving her a Danish I dropped on the floor."
"You did what?!" Jayce demanded, glaring at the younger woman.
"Sorry! I thought she was the enemy! But, don't worry, I think she knew and she threw it out as soon as she left!" Zoe replied, throwing her hands out in her defense. She decided against saying all of the other things she and Sam did to the items that Gus ordered. She supposed that the next time she wanted to help a friend, she had better get the full story just to make sure she was doing the right thing.
"So? You still took her money and you treated her badly when she didn't do anything to deserve it. She's a sweetheart of a person and she needs to be treated as such. She's gone through a lot lately and it really tears me up to know that you were being so mean to her," Jayce scolded the young woman.
The waitress pouted and turned her eyes to her feet. Jayce sighed; Zoe looked downright pathetic, especially when she poked out her bottom lip and whimpered a little. The expression tugged at Jayce's heartstrings.
"It's all right, though, Zoe. You were trying to look out for me and I appreciate that," Jayce said, earning a smile from her tablemate.
"I'm sorry I was so mean to her. I just thought that she was trying to pester you again. I can't believe she helped you keep Princess."
Jayce nodded and reached out for the child, taking her hand. "She adores Princess just as much as I do, I think. She helped me get comfortable with the idea of being Princess' mom. I'm not her aunt. I'm her mom," the statement was said with unblemished and righteous pride.
Princess grinned. "Ma!" she declared.
The shout caused Jayce's eyes to water, even though the child was not looking at her and most certainly not addressing her. Still, Princess was not the most talkative child, even though she loved to laugh and make other noises; words just were not her thing for the most part. Jayce could only hope that one day Princess' random shout might be directed toward her.
Zoe smiled too. "You are her mom and you're a great mom. So, when was the last time you saw Gus? When she was in here, I guess she was looking for you."
"I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks, since I moved out of her house. I'm going to go see her when I leave here now that I know she was looking for me. I was trying to just ease out of her life, let her get on with things, but that might've been a mistake," she realized. If Gus was around looking for her and Gus was the one making it a point to call, then maybe Gus really did want her and Princess around. There was no need to make them all suffer if that was the case.
"Seems that way. When you told the story, it seemed like you two got along great, so I don't see why you would stop seeing her. She probably needs a friend. I know you do," Zoe pointed out, eyes saying more than her mouth. Beyond a friend, she believed Jayce deserved happiness and someone that would treat her with all the kindness that she needed and deserved. From what she heard in that tale, Gus was probably that person.
Jayce nodded in agreement, thinking that she might be getting the underlying message. She hoped that Zoe was right about it now that she had time to see what life was like without Gus around. After catching up on Zoe's life, Jayce grabbed Princess and went back to the car. Princess fussed a little, not wanting to go back to her restraining car seat.
"Calm down, pretty baby. We're going to go see Gus," Jayce informed the struggling child.
Onyx eyes lit up and a bright grin took over a chubby face. "'Us?"
"Yes, baby, 'Us. We're going to go see her."
Princess clapped, clearly grasping what was going on. It was easy to put her in the car seat now. Jayce jumped in the driver's seat and they were off. So overjoyed was Jayce with the idea of seeing Gus, she did not remember to call and see if Gus was home. She was quite disappointed to find the house empty.
"'Us?" Princess asked, eyes wide with hope, staring deeply at Jayce as they stood on the doorstep of the house.
"Sorry, pretty baby, but 'Us isn't home right now," Jayce replied with a sigh. Part of her wished that she had kept her key, but she knew that even if she had, she would not be comfortable with going into the home without Gus' permission to enter. Not ready admit defeat, she did knock again, just in case. There was no answer again. She turned to return to the car.
Tears gathered in the baby's eyes and her mouth fell into a deep pout. "'Us?" Her mouth trembled, not liking one bit that they were not going in the house.
Jayce knew just how the baby felt because she wanted to cry too. She had been looking forward to seeing Gus. She longed to see Gus, knowing just a glimpse of the older woman would end the ache in her heart and soul. As soon as she was about to start the car, she watched as a familiar CUV pulled into the driveway of the house.
"'Us!" Princess cheered, tugging at her car seat straps, trying to escape the contraption and reunite with her second favorite person on Earth.
Jayce got out of the car at the same time as Gus exited her vehicle. Their eyes met and the world seemed to stop around them. Jayce smiled while Gus' face did not know what to do. A grin spread across Gus' chestnut colored face while her eyes lit up with pure joy and she trotted over to the pair, not caring how silly she looked jogging in a business suit. It took every ounce of willpower that she had not sweep Jayce up into a tight embrace; the same thing could be said of Jayce.
"'Us!" Princess was trying to go to the woman before Jayce finished unbuckling her from the seat.
"She's happy to see you. I hope you don't mind us just dropping by like this," Jayce said.
"No! No! I don't mind at all! I'm happy to see both of you. Please, come over anytime," Gus replied, unable to keep her enthusiasm down. She seemed ready to jump out of her shoes to celebrate their return. Jayce smiled because of the reaction, knowing that the businesswoman's words were sincere.
The trio went into the house; Gus carried Princess. The baby hugged Gus all the way in and barely wanted to let her go, so that she could get out of her work clothes. Jayce was able to pry Princess away and Gus bolted off to get out of her suit to change into something more appropriate and return to her guest. After changing clothes in record time, Gus went to play with Princess.
"Hey, little bit!" Gus grinned, feeling much more comfortable in a plain white tee-shirt and tan sweatpants. She figured that was much more appropriate for playing around with Princess. "Who's my little bit? Who's my little bit?" she inquired before blowing a raspberry into Princess' cheek.
"'Us!" the child giggled as Gus blew another raspberry into her chubby cheek.
Jayce watched the laughing pair roll around on the living room floor. Gus tickled Princess, who tried her best to tickle Gus in return. Eventually, Gus tired out and grabbed a book.
"I miss reading to you," Gus said to Princess as she carried the child to the sofa. The baby clapped when she saw the book while Gus took a much-needed seat. "Hey, Jay, I'm going to read to Princess. Are you going to come read too, so we can do the voices for her?" the businesswoman inquired.
Jayce sat down with the duo, moving close to Gus, but leaving her some space. Princess moved in between the women, which actually made them move closer together. They wanted to make sure they both had a hold on the baby. Gus put the book in Princess' lap once they were all settled. The baby held the book while the two women read, each doing different, individual character voices. This always got a laugh out of Princess and today was no different.
"Again!" Princess requested when the book was finished.
"My thoughts exactly!" Gus replied, happy to start the book again.
Jayce chuckled. "Okay, I guess we'll read it one more time, but then after that, I think we need to get some dinner in both of you."
"I can order out," Gus volunteered. She figured if she did not trouble Jayce with anything, it would keep the accountant and the baby at the house longer.
As tempting as it was, Jayce would rather the alternative. "I'd rather cook...I miss cooking for you," she admitted, silently hoping that did not seem creepy or anything like that.
Gus was sure her heart stopped at that admission. "...I miss your cooking..." she confessed.
A bright smile grace Jayce's face. "Then it's settled. You've got something that I can make a meal out of?"
"I think you'll have to decide on that."
Jayce laughed a little and made her way to the kitchen after they read Princess the book one more time. She found there was more than enough for her to make dinner, but she also found that she had to throw a lot of things out for Gus. It seemed that the businesswoman did not realize much of her food expired or was becoming its own ecosystem. She shook her head, smiling to herself.
"Gus, what am I going to do with you?" she asked the air in a lighthearted tone.
While Jayce was busy with dinner, Gus turned on the television and put it on Princess' favorite channel. Princess started dancing as soon as the show came on; anything with music always got the baby off of her feet. Gus danced with her, wearing herself out again before Jayce called them for dinner.
"Come on, little bit. Mommy's calling us for dinner," Gus informed the child, smiling because of how quaint and domestic that sounded.
"Mommy," Princess echoed, grinning as she spoke.
"Yes, mommy. Make sure you say that to her face when we see her, okay?" Gus asked and Princess nodded.
Gus picked the child up and went to the dining room. Jayce was still setting the places, but she looked up at the duo when they came in. She smiled at them while Gus whispered into the baby's ear.
"What're you doing?" Jayce asked curiously.
"Okay, Princess, who's that?" Gus inquired, pointing at the shorter woman.
"Mommy!" Princess cheered, throwing her hands up.
Jayce was taken aback, wide-eyed from surprise. She then turned her gaze to Gus. "You should stop putting her up to that. It's not going to keep shocking me, you know," she scolded the taller woman.
Gus held her hands up in surrender. "I didn't do it this time. It was all her." She pointed down to the "little bit" in her arms. Jayce glared at her a little harder. Gus continued looking innocent. "I swear, I just asked her if she's ready to eat, so we can go back to playing!"
Jayce blinked hard when she saw that Gus was sincere. She shook her head a little. "She just...she never...she..." she babbled.
"Mommy?" Princess' expression dropped because of Jayce's shock. The baby's lip quivered when Jayce started crying.
"Ah, Jay, it's okay," Gus said in a soothing tone as she put her arm around Jayce. She caressed Jayce's lower back while Princess hugged Jayce around the neck.
"This is the first time she's ever called me that, especially without being put up to it by you. Before, I barely ever got an 'auntie' out of her, but she says 'mommy' with such confidence," Jayce sniffled.
"Because she knows. She knows you're her mommy. You're the one that takes care of her, Jay. Even before her father physically abandoned her, she knew you were the one that was there for her," Gus said in a low tone. She kissed the side of the shorter woman's head, hoping to calm her down.
Jayce nodded to show that she understood and the kiss to her head did its job. Taking a deep breath, Jayce got herself under control. She noted that she thoroughly enjoyed the feel of Gus' lips, even if it was just a peck to her temple. Little did she know, but Gus liked giving the kiss as much as she liked receiving it. They would both love excuses for more physical contact, especially shows of affection.
The three of them stayed in the embrace for a while, savoring the moment. Silently, they agreed it was time to eat dinner. Gus held onto Princess as they had dinner. They all ate in a comfortable atmosphere with a gentle quiet between them. Jayce watched Gus with the baby while eating, noting that Gus could not stop smiling as she fed Princess. A smile settled on Jayce's face too. Gus is so good with her and she seems to love Princess so much. I hope Princess isn't too upset when we leave, but at least I know I can bring her back any time and Gus will be willing to pay her so much attention.
To prolong the night and their time together, Jayce helped Gus with the dishes. Gus held onto Princess for that too, letting her try to help. All the baby really did was play with the bubbles from the dishwashing liquid. But, even those antics got a pleased smile from the hazel-eyed businesswoman. From the delighted peace on Gus' face, Jayce smiled and felt at peace herself. For a moment, she dared to wish that things were always like this.
"You want to watch a movie?" Gus asked, hope coloring her voice and eyes. Maybe snuggle on the couch.
Jayce answered quickly, eagerly. "Sure!"
They curled up on the couch and Gus quickly found a movie for them to watch. Princess fell asleep ten minutes in, resting on top of Gus. Gus held the baby carefully, making sure she stayed put. Somehow, throughout the picture without any thought, Gus and Jayce inched closer to each other until they were leaning on each other. Halfway through the movie, Gus' arm wrapped itself around Jayce's shoulders and Jayce pressed herself into Gus' side. For the rest of the film, they were hugged up together where it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. When the movie was over, Jayce reluctantly turned to Gus and the sleeping baby.
"I should get her home and in bed," Jayce said in a low tone, reaching out to rub the child's back.
"Oh...right..." Gus muttered, purposely forgetting that they did not live with her anymore. Hazel eyes glanced down at the baby resting on her and her mind reminded that this was not her baby, this was not her family.
"We'll be back soon and you still have to visit us," Jayce reminded Gus with a sorrowful smile. She could see the agony in Gus' eyes and she wanted so badly to rid the older woman of that.
"Right...I'll walk you to your car," Gus mumbled, doing her best not to frown. All she really did was cause her face look tense and tight.
The air turned somber as the pair began to leave. Princess did not stir, which Jayce was thankful for because she knew the baby would cry if she saw they were leaving Gus. Jayce struggled not to burst into tears as she drove away, staring at Gus in her rearview mirror. The tall woman stayed outside until the car was out of sight.
Gus rubbed her eyes when the backlights of Jayce's car faded from view. Shoulders slumped as she returned inside. Immediately, the emptiness assaulted her like some malicious marauder. The silence was like hot and icy daggers twisting in her gut. Ghosts of Jayce's and Princess' presences haunted her, dancing in the shadows. Their voice whispered to her in the still air. Gus could not stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks.
---------------
Jayce almost winced as she entered the apartment, consumed by the isolation she felt. Princess seemed to sense it too, crying out in her sleep. Jayce clutched the baby tightly to her chest and bounced her slightly in her arms, hoping to keep the child asleep. Princess turned and whined.
"Hush, pretty baby," Jayce whispered.
"Mommy, 'Us," Princess muttered, rubbing her nose in Jayce's chest.
Jayce's heart clenched tightly. "Oh, baby, we'll go see Gus again," she promised.
Princess moaned, disliking the idea. Jayce said a silent prayer that Princess would remain in a half-sleep state at the most. She just could not deal with a wailing Princess tonight, not when she was hurting just as much. A few whimpers escaped the child, but she did not wake up. At least, not until Jayce put her on the bed and started taking out of her clothes. Princess was up and sniffling before Jayce could even get her pants off. Jayce quickly brought the child back to her chest, bouncing her, rubbing her back, and cooing in Princess' ear.
"Hush, pretty baby," Jayce repeated, singing the words now.
Princess started crying. It was not a wail or bawling, nothing loud or obnoxious. It was a displeased noise, like she was annoyed with something. Jayce could guess what that something was. Princess cried herself back to sleep because Jayce could not do anything for her.
"Oh, god," Jayce muttered, covering her face with her hands after she putting Princess in her pajamas and settling the baby on the bed. She sat on the foot of the bed and rocked helplessly. Never before had she felt so alone and out of sorts.
A knock at the door drew her attention and was a welcomed distraction, even though she had no idea who might be visiting her at all. Picking herself up from the bed, she dragged her body to the door. Peering through the peephole, she drew back with wide eyes and rapidly opened the door.
"Gus, what're you-" Jayce's question was cut off as Gus rushed in, cupped her face with both hands, and planted a passionate kiss on parted lips. Jayce moaned, accepted, and returned the show of affection, but it was over almost as soon as it started.
"Come home," Gus begged. Hazel eyes watered, beseeching the smaller woman to give into that request. "I don't mean stay with me as a roommate. Live with me as my girlfriend. Be my family again."
"Gus..." Jayce was overwhelmed by the kiss and request.
"Please!" the businesswoman implored in a tone that Jayce had never heard before. It broke her heart to hear Gus sound so desperate, but it also made her feel so very wanted for the first time in her life.
"What about Jannie?" Jayce inquired, not sure what else to say.
"I'll take care of Jannie. I can deal with her, but I can't deal with being apart from you and Princess. Please, come back home. I need you and I need Princess in my life. I want us to be a family again. Please."
"...I really...really want that, Gus. I've missed you so much," Jayce confessed.
"Then come home, Jay. I want to be with you and I want to help raise Princess. Please."
Jayce bit her lip, tasting Gus and the answer to her request. "Yes! God, yes!" She threw herself into Gus' arms and they shared another passionate, but short kiss. "I've missed you so much, Gus."
"I know the feeling. Can we go tonight?"
"Yes. Princess will be so happy to wake up at home. She was crying for you so much. I felt like joining her most of the time."
Gus smiled a little. "I know the feeling. Most days, I just wanted to cry too. I haven't slept more than three hours a night since you guys have been gone. I just wanted you back so much."
Jayce nodded. "I'm glad you had the courage to come here and say what needed to be said. Give me a minute to pack some clothes."
Gus reluctantly released Jayce. The shorter woman quickly stuffed a few things in a duffel bag while Gus went over to Princess. A grimace was frozen on Princess' face, which Gus could not believe. She picked the baby up, along with her little blanket, and held the tiny body to her.
"Would it be all right to take her out like this? So we don't have to wake her to get her dressed?" Gus asked.
"Is it still warm outside?" Jayce countered.
"Yes."
"Just make sure you put her shoes on."
Gus nodded and did as she was told. They were off after that, returning to Gus' home in her car; they agreed to go get Jayce's car tomorrow along with other belongings from the apartment. They also decided to discuss what to do about the apartment tomorrow. Right now, all they wanted to do was get a good night's sleep for the first time in too long time as far as they were concerned. They all ended up sleeping in Gus' bed, which was fine by the businesswoman.
Gus woke up in the middle of the night, smiling when she realized both Jayce and Princess were cuddled into her body; Princess had ended up on top of Jayce and partially on top of Gus. The hazel-eyed woman ran her fingers across Jayce's bare arm and fell back to sleep with a happy grin on her face.
When Gus stirred from sleep again, the wonderful smell of breakfast wafted through the air and wide, innocent obsidian eyes stared at her. Reaching up, Gus caressed Princess' cheek, getting a giggle out of the baby.
"Hi, 'Us!" Princess greeted with a merry smile.
"Hey, little bit, let's go see what Mommy made for breakfast!" Gus suggested, snatching up the child and exiting the room, stepping into her new life. The life that she was now happily going to share with Jayce and Princess. They were going to be a family, she was sure of that.
---------------
Epilogue: Growing
Gus sniffled and wiped her face, wanting to keep herself from crying. It was hard because of all the emotion bubbling up inside of her, wanting to pour itself out in some manner. She took a deep breath and hoped that it would keep the tears at bay for a little while longer. She supposed if she did weep, she could blame it on allergies and the fact that they were outside in a grassy area.
A gentle hand on the businesswoman's shoulder got her attention and she turned to smile at the owner of the hand. Jayce smiled back and then they turned their focus back to the stage where graduates were walking to receive their diplomas. Gus found her emotions settling down somewhat thanks to the comfortable hand still on her shoulder.
"I can't believe my baby sister has an MBA now," Gus whispered, sniffling a little because she still felt like crying. Her pride just wanted to let it out because it was so amazing. She could not believe that her sister made it to this point in her life. Her eyes followed Jannie as she strolled across the stage as if the whole world belonged to her as she received her degree.
"With honors too," Jayce added in, which did not help Gus' watering eyes.
"She's such a good student! She works hard. She had a better GPA than I did," the taller woman admitted, pride and joy in her voice. She pounded her chest just a little, feeling good about herself because she knew that she helped get her sister to this point. "I wish my parents lived to see this day. I bet they wouldn't believe it! Jannie was not the best student when she was younger."
"You raised her well. I know your parents would be proud of both of you. Now, you have to get another one through this," Jayce remarked, bouncing Princess in her arms.
Gus laughed a bit. "I look forward to that, but I hope it doesn't happen as fast as it did with my sister. I want to savor my little bit being little for a while. I'm going to try to spoil this one a little less, though," she commented, rubbing Princess on the top of her hand, getting a grin out of the baby. She then smiled at her girlfriend. "I will spoil her mommy as much as I please, though," she added in, putting her arm around Jayce's shoulders and pressing the smaller woman to her.
"I don't know if her mommy is going to let you spoil her too much," Jayce said with a half-smile. She did not mind the occasionally romantic gesture, of course, but she did not want Gus to burn herself out, trying to take care of someone that did not need attention every minute of the day.
"You can argue all you want, but I'm going to continue to spoil you. I'm going to make sure you want for nothing. Jannie can try to spoil herself from now on. This graduation gift is going to be the last one I give her for a while," Gus proclaimed.
Jayce did not say anything to that, but she thought that her girlfriend's heart was way too big to just cut Jannie off and let her grow up. She loved that about Gus, though, and would not hold it against her. It was that big heart that let her and Princess in and gave them all a new life together.
"I'm going to go talk to her, okay?" Gus said once the graduation ceremony was over.
"Sure. I'll take Princess to the car. I'm sure she'll enjoy the AC," Jayce commented, her face glistening from the unusually hot May afternoon. Princess was sound asleep now, not thinking about the heat at all.
Gus smiled a bit. "Is it her or you that might enjoy the AC?" she teased, leaning down to kiss the baby.
Jayce's eyes twinkled in a way that showed that she had been caught. The tender expression earned her a light, but passionate kiss from Gus. After pulling away, they stared at each other for a moment.
"Good luck," Jayce whispered.
"I hope I don't need luck, but thanks for the support," Gus replied.
"No problem. I really hope Jannie is grown up enough to put everything behind her. I don't want to cost you your sister."
"You won't," Gus assured her, tenderly caressing her cheek as if that helped drive her point home. "Everything that happens is between me and Jannie. It has nothing to do with you."
Jayce did not bother to argue that because she had already argued against it many times. Right now, she just wanted to give Gus the space and opportunity to reach out to her younger sister. They parted ways with Jayce going back to Gus' car while the businesswoman moved through the crowd to find Jannie. She was not surprised to find the little diva in the middle of taking pictures with her friends. Gus had no problem with waiting, especially since she did not have to wait long. As soon as Jannie noticed her sister, she moved over to Gus.
"You made it!" Jannie grinned, her excitement radiating off of her as she threw her arms around Gus and engulfed her in a huge, loving hug.
"Of course I made. I haven't missed a graduation yet," Gus replied, returning the embrace with as much zeal. She patted Jannie on the back a couple of times before pulling away. She had to wipe tears from her eyes that time; nothing was going to keep them from falling after such a warm greeting.
"I know you haven't, but..." Jannie trailed off, glancing down at the grass, moving a few blades with the toe of her high-heel shoe. Things had been pretty awful between them, she thought, and she figured that Gus would punish her for what happened by missing her big day. That thought had haunted her to the whole day and had her trembling up until the point where the diploma was presented to her.
"Walk with me, Jannie," Gus requested and gently pulled the younger woman away with her, so they could speak in private. "I wouldn't miss your graduation, a giant accomplishment for you, just because the last couple of times we saw each other didn't work out as well as I'd like," she informed the young graduate.
Jannie continued looking down. "I would have..." she admitted. She would have completely bailed if the situation were reversed. She would have looked at it as teaching Gus a lesson.
"Well, you're not me, Jannie. I'm not like that. Just because we're arguing doesn't mean I'm going to forsake everything going on in your life, especially a major step in your life. You're still my sister, no matter what," Gus explained in a calm, tender tone.
"I guess I didn't think of it that way..." Jannie replied. She did not think of it that way. All she thought was that she would want to punish Gus for being a jerk, possibly for Gus not recognizing her own worth for going after her little sister's ex-girlfriend, and lastly for going against her. "You seemed to think Jayce was more important, though..." she pouted as she spoke.
"No, you jumped to conclusions and said some very hurtful words after doing that. Not just to Jayce, but also to me, which I didn't want to put up with. I didn't have to put up with it either, so I didn't. You needed some time to clear your head, whether you know it or not. No matter what, you're always going to be my sister. Yes, we might fight, but at the end of the day, you're still my family," Gus proclaimed, wrapping an arm around her younger sister's shoulder for a moment and rubbing her back. She did not want to prolong the contact, just in case the younger woman was still in a pissy mood.
Jannie nodded. "You really feel like that?" she asked, emotion shining in her eyes. Inside, she felt almost light to know that nothing would ever drive Gus away from her. They were always family, always sisters.
"Of course, which is why I got us reservations at your favorite restaurant to celebrate today. Everything is set up for a nice dinner at six tonight. Now, the question is, do you want to go or are you going to carry on with your usual behavior?" Gus asked.
The shorter woman frowned. "Is Jayce going to be there?"
"Yes, Jay will be there. And to answer your next question, yes, she and I are a couple."
"How can you date her, Gus? She went out with me for a year!" Jannie reminded her sister, as if Gus could ever forget.
"She's gone out with plenty of girls. Yes, I know none of them were you, but that's just life. She fits with me and I fit with her. She didn't do anything wrong to you, Jannie, and she didn't break your heart. You broke up with her," Gus countered. Underneath it all, she was a little thankful for all of the other madness that had been going on in Jayce's life when Jannie broke up with her. There were enough distractions to keep Jayce from dwelling on being dumped and she did not have to go through mourning period like Gus had. With everything clear now, Jayce seemed completely confident in their relationship, only talking about Jannie in terms of her being Gus' sister and rarely as being her ex.
"Still! It makes you seem so...desperate! And you're not that way! You're a great catch!" the younger woman argued, motioning to Gus with her hand as if presenting the businesswoman to the world.
"Jay would agree with you. She's a great catch too. Are you upset just because she's your ex-girlfriend? Is that really what's bothering you? Do you still have feelings for Jayce?" Gus inquired earnestly. She was not sure what she was going to do about that, but it was something that they would have to work on if it was confirmed.
Jannie was quiet for a long moment, eyes searching the ground and then the sky. "I don't...I don't think I ever really had feelings for Jayce beyond being my friend..." she confessed. Most people had suspected that about her after watching her with Jayce for a few months. "...But, she showered me with so much attention, I didn't notice..." Jayce was what she wanted in a girlfriend, so she always figured that she must have feelings for Jayce. Unfortunately, when Jayce left, she knew that she had felt nothing for the accountant because she never missed her. She had easily moved on with her life and wiped Jayce from her mind, until the day that she saw her ex-girlfriend at her sister's house anyway.
"Then what's the problem, Jannie? Do you think Jayce is beneath me?" Gus asked curiously. She thought it was weird that Jannie would judge Jayce fine for herself, fine enough to string along for a year, but consider Jayce a waste of Gus' time.
Jannie avoided that question with one of her own. "Does she still have that baby?"
"We're raising Princess together, yes."
"Raising? How long have you two even been together? Since she moved out with me?" the younger sister pressed.
"We've been officially going out for a month. The feelings between us have been growing since she moved in. Jannie, I understand if it creeps you out that I'm dating her, but I can't help it. We fit together. We want the same things and we compliment each other well. I think we have the potential to be together for a long time. I like having Princess around too. We all get along and enjoy each other. I'm going to stay with her," Gus declared soundly.
Jannie blinked in shock and frowned in anger for a moment. Never before had Gus stated that she was going to stay with someone that Jannie did not want around. She supposed that meant that Jayce really did mean something to Gus. For a moment, she dared to consider whining about why the relationship would never work and how Gus really needed to just cut her losses now before she ended up hurt like with Amanda, but glancing at Gus, she knew that would never work. Besides, Jayce was definitely no Amanda and it would not be fair for her to even let something like that leave her mouth.
"You like her a lot, huh?" Jannie inquired curiously. Something inside of her told her that she needed to get used to this relationship if she wanted to keep her sister close. Besides, Jayce was not that bad. Maybe they would make better friends than they had lovers, she considered. But, she did not want to give in that easily. She wanted things to go her way, like they always did.
"I'm sure that I can love her if I give these feelings enough time. I'm not going to let that go," the taller woman stated.
"Do you think she feels the same way? I mean, she could be-" Jannie was cut off.
"No, she's not after my money. She's got money and she's employed again. She's not after my house. She moved out of a pretty decent apartment at my request to stay with me again when she could have just used me that first time and never left. I trust her and she trusts me. We're going to build on that and gather things together in life now. Let me worry about my relationship with Jay."
Jannie was quiet again. "...Is she going to come to dinner with us?"
"Indeed she is."
"Bringing the baby with her?"
"No, we have a babysitter lined up for tonight," Gus said.
"A babysitter? You mean she's not super-paranoid anymore about her mother stealing Princess?" Jannie inquired, rolling her eyes and snorting a bit.
Gus frowned, but took a deep breath to keep herself calm. The last thing she needed was to get upset because Jannie would get upset and they would end up right back where they started. Neither of them wanted that.
"If you must know, Jayce is now Princess' legal guardian. If her mother touches Princess without her permission, it would be kidnapping. Besides, my friend is babysitting and I trust her with Princess. Is this going to be a problem, Jannie?" Gus inquired.
The younger woman thought on it for a moment. She knew what would happen if she decided it was a problem. She would end up pushing away the only family that she had left. That voice inside of her told her again that she needed to accept and get used to the idea of Gus being with Jayce.
"Are you really happy with Jayce?" Jannie asked seriously.
"Extremely," Gus answered with total honestly. Her emotions shined through her eyes so clearly that Jannie was sure that she would have recognized it even if she were a blind woman.
Jannie nodded, knowing what she had to say now. "That's good. You really deserve happiness, sis. I guess if it's with Jayce, I'll just have to get used to it. It's bit weird, though. I mean, you're dating my ex-girlfriend. You don't think it's weird?"
"Honestly? I don't think of her as your ex. I think of her as my now and my future. Do you have any problem with this?"
"I think I can get over it. I'll try to get over it anyway. Jayce isn't that bad, after all. I mean, if you really like her, I have to try to get over it anyway. If she's going to be in your life and I'm definitely going to be in your life, then I'll try my best to get through this," Jannie proclaimed confidently. She had been missing her sister in these past couple of months, so she knew that to avoid that feeling, she was going to have to try.
"Do you mean it?" Gus asked in shock. Considering the way Jannie had been acting for the past few months, especially toward Jayce, the businesswoman was stunned that her sister would agree so easily.
"Yes, I mean it, you big goof. You're my sister and I've missed you. It hurt when you kicked me out last time we saw each other too. I don't want to feel like that again. Um...it didn't mean you were picking Jayce over me, right?" Jannie asked, voice quiet and scared now.
"Never! Jannie, you're always going to be my sister. I told you that. I'm trying to build a life with Jay, but you're already in my life. I want to keep you there too. I'm not going anywhere, so if you're not going anywhere, then we're going to stay sisters," Gus assured her little sister, putting her arm around Jannie's robe-covered shoulders.
Jannie smiled and nodded. "That's good. Um...do you think there's something wrong with me since I couldn't make things work with Jayce?"
Gus laughed. "That doesn't mean anything! You both wanted different things. You were also in different places in life. You admitted that you never even had feelings for Jayce that would have made you want to really make it work. You'll meet someone that fits well with you and makes you feel better than you thought possible. You're going to put your all into staying with her, just like she'll put her all into staying with you and you'll both grow old together. I'm sure of it," she declared with confidence.
Jannie smiled again. She felt like if Gus said it, then it would be so. She knew also that Gus was right about her and Jayce wanting different things in life. They probably never would have worked, she mentally conceded.
"So, can I bring my girlfriend with us to dinner?" Jannie requested with a slight smile.
Gus chuckled a bit again. "Yeah, you can bring her. I did make the reservations for four, just in case. I'll be happy to meet whoever's in your life now," she answered. She thought that would make things easier for Jannie seeing her with Jayce too. Hopefully, it would lessen the blow and ease Jannie into the idea of Gus and Jayce being together.
She hoped that Jannie was trying to be as mature as she was finally acting because she did not care about whatever tantrums the younger woman was going to throw. She was going to stay with Jayce and try to make things work. Jayce and Princess were now her family, just as much as Jannie was. Time would tell how Jannie took it all and time would also tell how well she and Jayce worked out. She prayed that things would be as good as they seemed right now.
Jannie left Gus after that, looking to return to her friends, but the farewell was as warm as the greeting had been. They would meet up later for dinner. Gus walked to her car as if she was ten feet tall. Jayce smiled at her as she entered.
"It looks like things went well," Jayce commented because of the air surrounding Gus. She could practically feel the happiness coming off of her girlfriend.
Gus nodded. "She has grown up some. There's hope for that kid yet, which is great. I feel good about my focus shifting to the little bit and you," she replied, leaning over to kiss Jayce on the lightly on the lips.
"That sounds promising," Jayce smiled as they pulled away. Neither retreated very far.
"It is a promise. I want this to work, Jay. I want to be with you forever. I want to raise Princess with you and one day see her walk across that stage, just like Jannie. I want us to be lovers and a family," Gus stated.
"That's what I want too, so I don't see why we shouldn't be able to have that."
To show that she agreed, Gus leaned in for another kiss, much more passionate than the first. This kiss held the promise that they just made each other and the desire to work for forever together. The tender show of affection held the emotions that were forming between them and the single life that they could build together. The kiss held everything that they were and would be.
Interrupting the fervent embrace, Princess suddenly cheered. Gus and Jayce jumped apart from each other, surprised by the nose and they turned around to look in the back of the car. They started laughing as they saw Princess' smiling face. The hopeful family then drove off together to return to their home, still smiling at each other.
---------------
The end.
Thanks for reading my story. I hoped you enjoyed it. I also hope you show up for my next story. Thanks for the support. Again to let me know what you think contact this Lunatic at: starving.lunatic@gmail.com. Hasta...