EXTREME VIOLENCE WARNING/DISCLAIMER:
This story depicts scenes of extreme violence and/or their aftermath. Some scenes may be explicit and graphic. Readers who are disturbed by or sensitive to this type of depiction may wish to read something other than this story.
SEXUAL VIOLENCE WARNING/DISCLAIMER:
This story depicts scenes of sexual violence and/or their aftermath. Some scenes may be explicit and graphic. Some readers may be disturbed by this type of depiction, anyone who is sensitive to this particular issue may wish to read something other than this story.
HURT/COMFORT WARNING/DISCLAIMER:
This story may be classified as a Hurt/Comfort Story also. Readers who are disturbed by or sensitive to this type of issue may wish to read something other than this story.
LOVE/SEX WARNING/DISCLAIMER:
This story depicts a love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. Some scenes may be explicit. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story.
SPECIAL NOTE:
*There is M/F sex in part one of this story. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story.
*I made up some new medications in this story, maybe one day the medical world will have them. I made up other things too. I can do this-it's my story!
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
*I do not proclaim to be a writer. This was something for me to do to keep my brain running while my body is in the repair shop. This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction and of course I had to pick a difficult topic to write about. So please be nice with any of your criticisms. I can be reached at Shoex@Hotmail.com
I would like to thank my little email buddy Carmen, who helps to keep me on track and checks for my boo- boo's so I don't look like an idiot to my beta reader! And of course there's Val, who rides my butt about needing to post more-- faster!
And a special thanks goes to my beta reader Jennis, for her time in checking my story for all the errors.
Of course, I would like to thank everybody for the patience they have shown me while I'm trying to write this story, you guys have been great!
Thanks everybody!!
These are all original characters within this story and are © copyright by ShoeX.
Everybody, Calli did a wonderful book cover for Faces!! Please stop by her site and check it out and drop her a line, she really does do some beautiful work! It's at…. http://members.nbci.com/calliweb/facesofevil.html
Everybody: Sorry about this being so late… But it's not all my fault! Honest <g> It's everybody in Min's chat rooms fault, they keep me talking until late at night!!! Especially my girls Callisto and Srr of course it's because they love me! <BG>
A special thanks goes to Carmen, Dancer and Bubby for their beta reading skills… Thanks guys!
Part 6
Chapter 13
As Kristen pulled out of her driveway the image of Rebecca lying in her bed filled her mind. A smile formed on her face, then she shook her head, how had that young gentle soul stolen her heart?
Kristen had been driving for ten minutes when she happen to look down and realized that she had forgotten to turn her cell phone back on after leaving the doctor's office. She had turned it off before going into the exam room to be with Rebecca. "Shit, I can't believe I did that!" She reached down and turned it on. She hadn't done that for over ten years, hell, she never turned off her phone, until now. At the time it was more important to be there with Rebecca. She shook her head and spoke out loud to herself; "I need to focus here, Rebecca's safety first, this is too important to be forgetting to turn the cell phone back on -- especially now!" It was the only way she could be reached if something were to develop with Tom while she was out of the house. After turning on her phone she noticed a new voice mail waiting for her. She listened to her message, "SHIT!" She turned the car around and raced back home.
Rebecca rolled over and tucked a pillow under her side, her body still sore from her attack and the appointment with Dr. Epley. During the drive home the cramps started getting stronger and stronger and Kristen noticed Rebecca rubbing her stomach. Right before Kristen was ready to leave the house she brought Rebecca a cup of tea and a whole pain pill.
The pain pill was starting to kick in and just as Rebecca finally got her body comfortable and was closing her eyes she heard a beeping noise. She lay there and tried to ignore it, but after hearing the beeps three more times she slipped out of bed in search of the annoying noise. Rebecca followed the beeps down the hallway to Kristen's office door.
The door was ajar, she pushed it open and noticed that the computer was still on. She couldn't figure out how the computer was still on with no power. Rebecca sat down at the desk; the screen saver was running so she hit the space bar to see what the screen said. A 3D blueprint of the house came up on the screen with all the entrances highlighted. The program at the bottom of the screen was saying there were no security breaches and the system was running on red mode, Rebecca scratched her head, whatever that meant? She didn't understand how or why such a program was running on Kristen's computer and without the electricity being on?
Rebecca was lying back in the chair watching the design on the screen, she knew she shouldn't snoop, at least that's what her brain kept telling her. 'Rebecca, you know curiosity killed the cat?' Before Rebecca knew it she was looking through things on the desk. Rebecca turned the chair a little and looked down to the bottom drawer that was open a crack. The only things in the drawer were folders; she stared at them then made a decision.
Rebecca went into the bottom drawer and pulled out the folders, police files? Looking at them she wondered why Kristen would have them. She sat them in the center of the desk and pulled out the one that said VICTIMS. Rebecca opened the file and saw her name on the top sheet; her eyes went wide with disbelief. It had information on everything about her, where she was born, her parents, schools, her work background, which bank she used, everything.
Rebecca turned the page and found photos of her in the hospital after her rape. Her hands started to tremble as she looked down on herself; the harsh reality of what happened to her was looking back at her. She stared at the photo of herself sedated on the exam table. She saw another set of hands holding her body in place while the photo was taken. Rebecca turned to the next page and found somebody else's information and then their pictures, she counted four different girls in the file. Rebecca went to the bottom of the pile of folders and opened the last one. She saw a picture of Tom and all of his information, his job background, bank records, bills and then read all the honors he had in his personnel file. Then she read e-mails to Kristen about Tom's daily activity since the day after her rape. All this confused her somewhat, what was going on, why did Kristen have all this?
Rebecca went back to her file, and pulled out the sheet that was marked 'Progress Notes.' They started from the emergency room and followed through her stay at the hospital. She went back to the first note from the emergency room that Kristen had written about her. She read the top of the note, it said 'subjective.'
The patient is a 22 year-old white female, transported to the ER via 911after being sexually assaulted. Patient is EMS personnel and is known by ER staff. Upon arrival patient was in an aggressive state and extremely combative towards personnel. Patient was given a mild sedative and then moved into an exam room. After patient had calmed down enough an assessment was completed. Patient was started on IV therapy and pain management medications; she was placed on 4 Ltr./ Nasal cannula. The next line listed her allergies and then listed all the medications they had given her in the ER. Patient required continuous sedation during the assessment/treatment. Rebecca's eyes went to the next paragraph under the word assessment and shock set in at the amount of injuries she had. Patient received extensive trauma internal and external to the pelvic region and the breast region.
7 bite marks/ Back region- 3 required sutures
3 bite marks/Lt. Buttocks- 1 required sutures
5 bite marks/Rt. Buttocks- 2 required sutures
3 bite marks/Rt. Breast- 3 required sutures
1 bite mark/Rt. Nipple & Areola required sutures
2 bite marks/Lt. Breast- 2 required sutures
1 bite mark/Lt. Nipple & Areola required sutures
3 bite marks/Vulva - 3 required sutures
1 bite mark/Clitoris- 1 required sutures
2 bite marks/Anus- 2 required sutures
2 bite marks/Lt. inner thigh- 2 required sutures
3 bite marks/Rt. inner thigh- 3 required sutures
2 Fx Ribs/Lt.- Laceration- required sutures
2 Dislocated finger Rt. Hand/ 1 Laceration/Rt. Knee- required sutures
Rebecca continued to read her progress notes as her hands trembled more and she felt the tears building up in her eyes. She read a few more lines in the next paragraph and saw words like anal penetration, lesions, vulvovaginitis, contusions and damaged tissues, during her exam the damage to the hymen established lack of consent/penetration. Rebecca found herself unable to read anymore of her report, so she placed it back in the file. Her hand went automatically back to her photos and she lifted them up. She stared at herself in the pictures, unable to move.
As Kristen drove on the windy road back to her house, she felt her heart pumping so fast that it felt like it was going to pop right of her chest! It was at this moment that she realized beyond a doubt that the most important thing in this world to her was inside her house, Rebecca. She knew that over these last few months Rebecca was becoming very important to her. Actually if she was totally honest with herself she knew that she had fallen in love with Rebecca. It was such a deep love that it made her soul ache. She had never felt a love like this before and it scared her, but what scared her most was that something would happen to Rebecca and she wouldn't be able to stop it. She wasn't there the first time when Tom hurt Rebecca, but this time she would be there-she would kill him in a heartbeat!
Kristen arrived back at the house parked the car, and then entered the house quietly. She didn't want to alarm Rebecca if she didn't have too. She went to the security panel by the front door the system was running in red mode. There was an orange light blinking on the panel, which meant the generator was on! She released the breath she was holding. The house had not been breached, which meant that Rebecca was still safe within the house.
Kristen started towards the bedroom only to find it empty. She started to search the house, she noticed her office door was open and looked inside, 'SHIT!' Kristen slowly walked over to her desk halfway there she noticed the bottom drawer was open. Rebecca was sitting there, not moving. 'Oh shit, she found the files!… God Dammit!!'
Kristen stood behind Rebecca and looked over her shoulder to see what she was looking at. 'Oh God…her pictures!' Kristen gently placed her hand on Rebecca's shoulder. As soon as Rebecca felt Kristen's hand on her she lost what little control she had and broke down. Kristen felt Rebecca's body trembling under her hand then heard a sob escape . Kristen pulled the photos out of Rebecca's hands and placed them back into the folder then closed it. Kristen turned the chair around and knelt down in front of Rebecca and took her trembling hands in hers.
The pain she saw etched in Rebecca's face tore right through her soul.
"Rebecca… Sweetheart look at me, please?"
Rebecca just stared at their joined hands.
Kristen tried again, "Sweetheart, please look at me!"
Kristen used one hand and gently cupped Rebecca's chin and lifted her face up to meet her eyes. Rebecca was looking at Kristen but her eyes were unfocused. Rebecca was still crying and trembling when Kristen tried again, "Sweetheart, why were you in here?"
Rebecca's only reply was a softly spoken "why?" Kristen's mind was racing, she knew there were things that she just couldn't tell Rebecca no matter how much she would like to be completely honest with her, she just couldn't! The most important thing right now was to get Rebecca out of her office, to remove her from the things that would keep her in this state.
Kristen gently put her arm under Rebecca's legs "Sweetheart, lets get you out of here." Then placed her other arm behind Rebecca and lifted her up and walked out of her office.
Kristen carried Rebecca into the bedroom and went straight to her big chair and sat down with Rebecca still cradled within her arms she would wait until Rebecca was able to talk about what she was feeling, but right now all she could do was gently rock Rebecca while she cried. Kristen didn't say anything to her she just hummed softly in her ear until Rebecca had fallen asleep in her arms from the affects of the pain pill and mental exhaustion.
Kristen was more concerned about Rebecca's emotional state than before, if only she hadn't seen those files. Kristen stood up and laid Rebecca in bed, "I'm so sorry you saw that," she softly kissed her forehead and walked out of the room closing the door behind her.
Kristen immediately headed back to her office; she sat behind her computer and ran the security of the house again just to make sure. Once that was completed and she felt everything was secure she picked up the phone. After dialing the number she pulled together the police folders that were on her desk and placed them back in the bottom drawer. The phone was answered.
"What the hell happened?"
Silence. "Kristen we had him, he went into a car dealership and I don't know?… We waited out in the parking lot, he never came out!"
"Enough!… Do you know where he is now?"
A sigh. "No!"
Kristen held her head in her hand. "Shit!… Okay, head back to his house and wait. Rebecca is safe with me here at the house. Send me the report and let me know when he gets back… and don't ever let this happen again or you'll deal with me!" She laid back in her chair, he was out there somewhere.
"I understand Kristen, it won't!"
Kristen placed the phone down and took a deep breath, she listened as the power came back on then headed to the kitchen. As Kristen waited for the teakettle to boil, her thoughts were on Rebecca and what would be the right way to deal with the newest problem.
Tom watched as the black sport car pulled back into the driveway. He was still trying to place the face, he knew it, but from where? Tom smiled; he at least knew where Rebecca was now, there was a time and place for everything and now was not the time. He watched as the driver entered the house then turned on his SUV and headed down the road. He smiled, the time would come and Rebecca would be with him, he would take what belonged to him!
Kristen was sitting on her back deck watching the sun set, her mind still going over how to deal with Rebecca, she had been asleep now for over an hour and a half. With the last of her tea drunk she stood and looked at the sun set one last time and took in a deep breath of the cool autumn air then headed inside to see what she could prepare for dinner.
Kristen had just finished making a pot of coffee when the doorbell rang. She turned her head towards the front door, 'Great, now what?'
As Kristen went to open the door she could tell it was Adam, a bad feeling came over her. Now she knew she had more problems to deal with. Whatever Adam or should she say John wanted she wasn't going to like it and they weren't going to like her answer. She opened the door; Adam was standing there in his uniform and a blue file in his hand.
Adam smiled, "Hello Kristen, I hate to do this to you…I know you're working on other things and I did try to tell them you wouldn't do this, but they wanted me to try anyway, so here I am." He held the blue file up.
"They said, they needed the best… and that's you blue eyes!"
Kristen sighed then turned and headed back to the kitchen with Adam right behind her. She pulled out another mug and poured them both a cup of coffee then sat at the kitchen table. Adam took a sip of his coffee; he wanted to find out how things were going on the rape cases before they got into the official business that brought him to Kristen's house.
They drank their coffee while Kristen filled Adam in on what's been going on with Tom. Adam sat and listened how Tom had been the model police officer on and off duty, he was a little surprised that Tom lost the tail earlier today. Kristen also filled Adam in on how Rebecca had found the police files that were in her office. Adam was very surprised to find out that this Rebecca person was actually at Kristen's house. He had known Kristen for a long time and she never brought anybody into her house. The more Adam listened to Kristen talk about Rebecca the more he was picking up that there was more going on between them than his friend was willing to admit. The thought of his long time friend finally falling in love with somebody brought a smile to his face. Adam could see that Kristen was really blaming herself for this woman finding her files and her stress levels were running very high at this moment.
Adam got up from his chair and walked around to the back of Kristen's chair and started to massage her shoulders. Kristen just closed her eyes at first; it felt so good. Her muscles were so tense from worrying about Rebecca. Adam's strong hands felt so good she just gave into the feeling and let Adam keep going. She was sitting in the kitchen chair, on the wall in front of her was a mirror allowing her to see the kitchen, part of the living room and the hallway. Kristen would look up every so often at Adam.
When Kristen looked up into the mirror she noticed that Adam had a smirk on his face. "What?"
As Adam found a rather large knot he began, "Kristen as long as I've known you, you haven't had anybody in your house, besides me that I know of? You have kept everybody an arms length away from yourself ever since Paul died…she must be very important to you?"
A sigh. "I don't agree with you Adam … I have friends and I do things!"
Adam took her hand, "No, blues eyes…you talk with people when your at work, but really you never have anybody over and you know this! We've talked about it before, you hide while you're at work, you keep yourself so busy to hide your loneliness, but I see it every time I see you. I hide but not as well as you do! We both have used each other for comfort over the years because it was safe for us…no strings, no commitment."
There was a moment of silence. "So what's going on with you and Rebecca?" Adam asked with a soft gentle voice while still working on the knot in Kristen's shoulder
Kristen locked eyes with Adam in the mirror, she had to be honest with him, he would see through anything else. "Adam, I'm not really sure at this point? She's been here since last Friday she needed some place safe to recover-so I brought her here. I met Rebecca about two months ago in the ER she seemed to be a real nice kid. From that day on we've always talked, then I started going out with her and her friends… it felt great to feel alive Adam. I've enjoyed those times talking and going out with her. She is very special to me! Her emotions are all upset right now, she needs a friend."
Adam shook his head. "Kristen she's not a kid, she's a woman. And it looks like you have developed some strong feelings when it comes to Rebecca? Paul was a good friend of mine, but he's been gone for a long time now Kristen and it would be nice to see you happy again and have somebody in your life! I would say she's very important to you."
"Yes, she is." Kristen said as Adam found a painful knot, a moan escaped her throat as he worked on it. Adam smiled and leaned down and kissed the top of her head, he felt Kristen stiffen.
Rebecca had woken up some time ago and was lying in bed thinking about how to explain things to Kristen. She knew she shouldn't have gone through Kristen's desk that she broke the trust they were building up. Rebecca finally got out of bed to find Kristen so they could talk. She headed for the office first and when Kristen wasn't there headed for the kitchen. While walking down the hallway she heard soft moans coming from the kitchen. Right before getting to the kitchen she could see Kristen sitting in the chair and a man in a blue uniform rubbing her shoulders. Rebecca found her emotions going from being jealous to anger and hurt because this man was touching Kristen. She couldn't move from her spot, she just kept watching the scene in front of her.
A second later Kristen opened her eyes and looked up into the mirror and saw Rebecca standing in the hallway watching her and Adam. When they made eye contact, she stiffened immediately.
"Oh shit…Rebecca wait!"
Kristen quickly stood up, her eyes met with Adams, "Tell John the answer is no, I can't help with this now…"
Before she could say anything else Adam spoke, "Kristen go be with her, you love her… I'll call you later," Adam kissed her forehead, "I hope everything works out for you blue eyes." Then turned and walked out of the kitchen to the front door closing it quietly behind him self. Kristen stood there for a second, then headed to the bedroom, her mind racing with a way to explain things to Rebecca.
Chapter 14
Rebecca heard the front door close and she just closed her eyes and curled up on the bed. She was trying to figure out what her own feelings were. She was angry. Angry at what she saw, but really didn't understand the feelings behind them. The first week after her attack was hellish and she thanked god that Kristen was there for her. The second week of being with Kristen, she found herself much more relaxed her body still painful from the attack but her soul felt more at rest and she knew it was because of Kristen. The soft embraces and touches of love helped heal her soul and heart. She really enjoyed being around Kristen more so now after spending the week with her. She was confused because she knew deep down inside that she was always attracted to Kristen since the first time they made eye contract in the emergency room. There was something about those eyes of hers and her touch that seemed to connect with something deep within her soul. She didn't understand it, and she didn't really want to face it, it was a little scary. It would mean that she was gay and she wasn't, was she?
Kristen stood in her doorway to the bedroom; her heart breaking at the sight of Rebecca all curled up on her bed quietly sobbing. Kristen walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, Rebecca looked up at Kristen with sadness in her eyes.
Kristen softly placed her hand on her shoulder, " Rebecca, we really need to sit down and have a long talk about a few things, what you saw between Adam and I wasn't what you thought it was sweetheart!"
Rebecca took a deep nervous breath, "I'm sorry for interrupting you and Adam…It's really none of my business who you spend your time with." The words came out laced with anger and jealousy. The next set of words came out quietly, "if you need me to leave, I can!"
Kristen shook her head, okay; this was going the wrong way. She heard the anger and jealousy in Rebecca's voice. Kristen brought her other hand over and brushed it across a soft cheek. "Rebecca I don't want you to leave. It's not safe for you!"
Rebecca felt a bigger lump form in her throat. "Is that the only reason? Because I can go out of town and visit one of my friends…if that's your only reason for letting me stay here. You've done enough for me… God, I'm so confused with all these feelings towards you!"
Kristen gently took one of Rebecca's hands within hers, "No, that's not the only reason Rebecca. Like I said sweetheart, I think we need to have a long honest talk about a few things!" She advised gently.
Rebecca wasn't sure what to do at this point, so she did what felt natural, she sat up and latched onto Kristen as if her life depended on her. And Kristen returned the hug with just as much force trying to reassure Rebecca that she felt the same way she did.
Kristen softly kissed the top of Rebecca's head, "Why don't we go into the kitchen and make a cup of tea and talk some?" Rebecca still in the embrace just nodded her head.Rebecca followed Kristen into the kitchen.
Kristen went to make the tea while Rebecca sat down at the kitchen table. Rebecca noticed the blue government file sitting on the table across the front cover it read, Top Secret eyes-only. She was even more confused now, why would a Doctor have this kind of file?
After turning on the kettle Kristen turned from the counter and noticed Rebecca's eyes locked on the blue file on the table. Rebecca felt Kristen looking at her, she looked up and made eye contract. Kristen saw the confused look on Rebecca's face. She knew she needed to start the conversation, and the blue file was as good as any thing to start with. The kettle whistled and Kristen made their tea, then sat across the table from Rebecca.
It was quiet for a minute while Kristen thought about what would be the best way to try and explain things to Rebecca. She sipped her tea, then locked her eyes on Rebecca's.
"Rebecca, sweetheart I'll try to explain as the best I can… there are some things that I just can't tell you. I wish I could but I can't…you'll have to trust me and understand that I can't, and don't take it personally, okay?"
Rebecca looked down to her hands. "Okay, I understand."
So Kristen started, "Rebecca, I'll start with the easy part and do the hardest part last."
Rebecca took a sip of tea and nodded her head, "okay..."
Kristen took a deep breath. "I'll have to start at the beginning for you to understand…so, do you remember our conversation about Paul that we had down by the river?"
Rebecca nodded her head. "Yes…you said you were in love with him and after he died that your world fell apart."
A sad look appeared on Kristen's face as she sipped her tea. "Yes, I was so in love with him, at least that's what I thought at the time. When he died my world did fall apart, but what was worse was I put up all kinds of walls and closed my heart. Paul's best friends and mine were Adam and his wife Michelle; they were there for me so much. Michelle and I would talk for hours when I needed too…and Adam really watched my back at work. There were so many times he saved my butt; especially when we were on a mission… I lost count! As you can see Adam is still in the Navy. Michelle died in a car accident a year after Paul died, which made my walls go up even further…you have to understand both of them were very special to me. Adam was Paul's best friend, they had known each other since high school, Adam always felt like it was his job to watch over me after Paul died… When I had an unofficial mission to go on he was always my back up; he would do whatever was necessary to get me out alive. A year after Paul's death I was known as the best and I'm still considered one of the best in the business. A lot of that is because Adam is my back up he checks and double checks things out before I go on a mission and he's right there with me.
While I was in the navy I finish school and became a Doctor, all my life I have been known to excel in whatever I decided to do…" She laughs.
"Did you know I graduated from high school when I was 12 and from college when I was 17 with a masters degree"
Rebecca's mouth dropped open and her eyes went wide with that statement.
Kristen laughed again, "Close your month Rebecca before your throat dries out… anyway back to the point…Adam and I spent a lot of time together at work and when we weren't at workA year after Paul died I had slept with a few people not out of love, I was just lonely… I know it sounds terrible but even if I was able to escape from everything for a short period of time, that's what I did…but after wards whomever I was sleeping with wanted a relationship and I wasn't ready for that. Adam went through the same things… and… well one day almost a year after Michelle died, it just happened between us, we were both lonely and found comfort with each other."
Kristen sipped her tea again; this was still painful to talk about even after all these years. "We talked about it afterwards and neither one of us was ready for any kind of relationship, so we found comfort with each other after that. We love each other as friends, were not in love with each other…it's a no strings, no commitment deal… I know you may not understand that but, please try." Kristen expression was sad, she was hoping that Rebecca would understand.
Rebecca got up, put the teakettle on and leaned on the counter, she had never seen Kristen look this vulnerable before. "I think I understand somewhat… I haven't been through what you have, but when Steve and I broke up after I found out he was cheating on me… I know what it feels like to be lonely, so I think I understand." Rebecca's eyes only held understanding in them.
The kettle whistled and Rebecca grabbed Kristen's cup, made them both a cup of tea and sat back down at the table while handing Kristen hers.
"As for the files." Kristen arches an eyebrow and points to the blue one on the table, "I used to work for the government unofficially, this means they need my help and nobody knows that and it needs to stay that way." The last part said with sternness in her voice.
Kristen took another a deep breath. "As for the ones in my office, after you were raped I made a phone call to Adam and asked him to look into a few things for me. When he sent me the file, that is of course after you trusted me enough to tell me the truth,. I had Adam look into Tom Greens background. I made a few phone call to people who owe me a few favors and had them start watching Tom's every move. I have some physical evidence on him when I did your exam. I found his semen in you and I found a few hairs that weren't yours when I combed through your pubic hair, but because his record is perfect and you had gone out on dates with him before he would just say that you had intercourse with him earlier. One other rape happened in another county in Maryland that looked a lot like what he did to you but it happened while he was on duty-- so basically I need to catch him in the act!"
Kristen stopped when she saw that this conversation was affecting Rebecca.
"Sweetheart are you okay?… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
Rebecca nodded her head yes, but started to cry. Kristen got up and went to the other side and wrapped her arms around Rebecca and just held her. Rebecca returned the hug. Kirsten kissed the top of Rebecca's head. "How about we get ready for bed and talk some more in the bedroom?" Kristen laughed softly, "These chair are really hurting my butt so I know they must be hurting yours too."
Rebecca laughed with a quiet sob. "Yup, it's kinda hurting my butt too." As she was wiping the tears from her face.
Kristen released Rebecca and grabbed the mugs and put them in the sink then turned and held her hand out to Rebecca. Kristen shut the lights off then checked the front door and the alarm then headed back to the bedroom. Rebecca never released Kristen's hand; in fact as she was walking with Kristen she interlocked their fingers together.
Once they entered the bedroom Rebecca grabbed her nightshirt and headed into the bathroom to change. Kristen changed into hers and pulled the bed cover back and sat waiting for Rebecca to return from the bathroom.
Within a few moments Rebecca came out of the bathroom, Kristen was laying on the bed with her legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. Rebecca climbed in next to her and sat the same way.
Rebecca played with her finger for a second then spoke, "I'm sorry I broke the trust between us by going through your desk. When the power went out I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep when I kept hearing this beeping noise so I got up and tried to find out where it was coming from. I followed the beeps to your office and noticed that the computer was on but I couldn't understand how that could be with no power and when I saw the house on the screen and it was saying that the security systems were operational. I got a really bad case of curiosity… I couldn't understand why a person like you would have such a system. I do now…but at the time I didn't know, so I started looking and in the desk and that's when I found the files... I'm really sorry I let you down!"
Kristen gently took one of Rebecca's hands.
"Rebecca, you didn't let me down… I'm not angry that you looked through the stuff in the office. I just wish you hadn't seen what you saw because it upset you-- and just so you know in the future, when the power goes out a generator kicks in so none of the important systems that protect my house or my computer fail. I do have old case files here that I have worked on and they are classified files and I have a lot of weapons in the house... If you look at the house from the outside it just looks like a normal house but it's not… it's more like a fortress, that's why I brought you here in the first place because I know it's safe… Adam and myself are the only ones who know the codes to the security system."
Kristen rubbed her thumb over Rebecca's hand. "Sweetheart, could you try and explain to me what you were talking about earlier when you said, you were confused about your feelings towards me?"
Rebecca spoke quietly. "I'm not sure I should have said that to you…" She looked down at her hands "I'm afraid you'll think differently about me if we talk about this."
Kristen lightly squeezed Rebecca's hand. "Trust me Rebecca-- I won't think any differently about you because you spoke your feelings. I'm not going anywhere sweetheart, but I need you to be honest with me and not be afraid… If you're trying to tell me what I think you are, let me ask you this… Do you remember earlier when I said, I had slept with a few people?"
Rebecca nodded her head, but wouldn't look Kirsten in the eyes.
"Well, what I didn't really say was I have slept with three people since Paul died…one was Adam, and I have only slept with him since after Michelle's death …but after Paul's death I slept with two other people, one was a female Rebecca… So you see there's nothing to be scared of telling me and believing I would think any differently of you."
Kristen waited until Rebecca looked at her, then squeezed her hand and smiled trying to let her know they were okay.
Kristen took a breath. "But to be perfectly honest with you Rebecca some of the emotions you are having could be because of your rape. Some of the confusion you're having is because you may feel you can never trust another person to touch you. In time you will work through your fears and no matter what happens sweetheart I'll be there for you to lean on."
Their eyes met again. Kristen reached over and gently wiped a tear that was falling down Rebecca's cheek with her fingertip. "Sweetheart, why are you crying?"
"I'm not sure…It means a lot to me to know that you'll stand by me and be there for me… nobody else has ever said that to me…it's just means so much to me."
Rebecca started to cry and Kristen just held her until she was done. Rebecca sat up after a few minutes and wiped her face. "This past week of my life has been the worst of my life and it's been the best of my entire life… I have really enjoyed being here with you… Spending time with you has really been special to me…I would be lying if I said my feelings haven't gotten stronger for you this week. I understand what you were saying earlier about my emotions being confused because I was raped." The last word was spoken as a whisper, then a deep nervous breath. "To be honest with you, the first day I met you two months ago I felt something, especially when I looked into your eyes. I didn't want to admit that to myself because that would have meant that I was gay and I never looked at myself as being gay…I like men, but when I saw Adam touching you like that I got really jealous and it confused me.
Kristen thought for a minute what to say to Rebecca. It made her very happy to hear Rebecca saying this but it also scared her. She had slept with both men and women in the past, but there were no emotions of love involved, it was just sex, just a release. Even with Adam, yes she loved him but she wasn't in love with him. Rebecca pulled feelings from her that Paul couldn't even pull out of her. Yes, this was deeper and it scared her just as much as Rebecca.
"Rebecca, sweetheart I think the best thing to do is to take everything slow and easy and just see how things work out…and like I said, I'll be here for you… Please don't be afraid to talk to me about anything no matter what it is okay, talking is the best thing for you right now, we'll work through everything together… your not alone anymore!"
Rebecca smiled at her. "Thank you!"
Kristen took her hand. "Anytime. But, um, I think my tea has hit bottom. I'll be right back."
Kristen got out of bed and went into the bathroom, as she was sitting there she was mentally yelling at herself. 'What is wrong with you Kristen your acting like a scared teenager…you know you feel something for her… No you love her!…Yes, I know that, but it's a emotional time for her, she's not sure what she wants, she's scared and confused just like me! So try and help her through it, go slow with her and find out if this is really what she wants? To be with you…you know it's going to be a long road to recovery for her, you'll have to show her a lot of love and understanding you do know that right?…YES, I know that and I can.' Once she was done arguing with herself, she got up and went back into the bedroom.
Before she left the bathroom she noticed that there wasn't a bandage in the trashcan, which meant that Rebecca had not taken care of herself this evening.
Rebecca was sitting up in the bed going through her own private conversation. Thoughts of being scared and confused and being rejected because she felt like damaged merchandise were now going through her mind. What helped most were the thoughts of love and feeling safe with Kristen knowing deep down even before her rape she had feelings for Kristen, she just never let herself go to far before she stopped them. She would have to admit to herself there was something else between them other then friendship.
Kristen sat beside Rebecca on the bed. "Rebecca, did you change your bandages and apply your cream tonight?"
Rebecca flushed. "Ahh, no. Sorry!…With everything else going on… I just forgot."
Kristen stood up and held out her hand. "Okay, why don't you go ahead and do now."
Rebecca took the hand and stood, "Okay." Then walked into the bathroom leaving the door open a crack. She heard the TV click on in the bedroom as she was pulling out a fresh mesh bra and the cream. Rebecca pulled her nightshirt over her head then carefully removed the old bandage. Standing only in her boxers she looked up into the mirror at herself. A small sad frown appeared on her face, which wasn't as swollen as it was a week ago. Everything looked a lot better than a week ago, but the marks were still all over her. Yes, the bruises didn't look as bad, some had already faded to a light yellow. Most were still a deep purple or black mixed with yellow, but overall they looked a little better. Her left breast was still infected, you could tell just by looking at it, it was swollen and red. She lightly touched her breast, pictures from earlier flashed in her head. She gently cupped the swell of her breast as the tears welled up in her eyes, bandages and cream forgotten.
Kristen looked at the clock for the second time. Rebecca had been in there for some time now. She didn't want to invade Rebecca's privacy but she was beginning to worry. The shower episode from the other day popped into hermind. So she got up and walked to the bathroom door and peeked through the crack, 'Damn.' Rebecca was just standing there staring at herself in the mirror, not moving.
Kristen pushed the door open and started walking towards Rebecca. "Hey…"
Rebecca's body stayed still but her eyes watched Kristen's movement. Rebecca felt Kristen's hands on her shoulders, the touch felt like a caress. They locked eyes in the mirror.
"Kristen, it looks so ugly." It was said in such a small voice that it broke Kristen's heart.
Kristen hesitated for a second then decided to let her emotions take over, she bent her head down next to Rebecca's ear while she moved her right hand to cup Rebecca's hand and breast. Kristen murmured in her ear. "No, you are so beautiful." As soon as her hand touched skin, all the fine hairs on her body stood up as though a shock of electricity had passed through her to her core.
Rebecca felt a thousand different sensations all at once, as soon as Kristen's hand touched her. This touch felt so different from all the others, so intimate. She couldn't ignore the tingles she felt go through her body and the warmth that spread through her belly. For the first time in over a week she didn't tense up or flinch from a touch.
Rebecca's body reacted on it's own and arched into the touch, her head fell back and rested on Kristen's shoulder. Kristen moved her other hand to caress Rebecca's right breast, Kristen was careful to only caress the under sides of Rebecca's breasts and not touch the still tender spots. Kristen was rewarded with a soft moan from Rebecca; it felt wonderful to finally be able to touch Rebecca and not have to hide her true feelings anymore. These simple touches had awakened something deep within both of them.
Kristen bent her head down lower and kissed the soft skin in the valley between Rebecca's neck and shoulder. Rebecca watched as Kristen lowered her head, then she felt a gentle caress of lips upon her skin, " Oh god!" Rebecca's eyes closed from the sensation of the kiss, it felt so good. Somewhere deep inside herself she found the courage to turn in the embrace and face Kristen; with shaky hands she gently placed them on Kristen's cheeks and pulled her down slowly. Kristen recognized the nervous invite; she wrapped her arms around Rebecca's waist and pulled her gently to herself. At first the kiss was tentative, soft lips met softer lips a slow exploration began. Kristen nibbled on Rebecca's lower lip, soft moans coming from them both. The kiss grew deeper in strength, Kristen tongue asked for entry and Rebecca welcomed it. The kiss was filled with so much passion, so much love, two souls finally coming together. Kristen pulled back in need of air, both breathing heavily. "Easy."
Rebecca flushed and looked down. "I'm sorry."
Kristen placed a finger under her chin and lifted until their eyes met. "Don't be sorry sweetheart, it felt wonderful! We just need to take things slow and easy… This is all new to you and I want you to take your time, I want to make sure you're comfortable with this."
Rebecca placed her hand over Kristen's and pressed her face into the touch more and nodded her head, she didn't trust her voice at this point.
Kristen lightly caressed the soft cheek under her fingers one more time, then kissed her forehead. This was so intense. Kristen took a second to compose herself from the passion she knew they were both feelings, things needed to go slow for Rebecca.
Kristen released a breath. " Um, why don't you go ahead and finish doing your stuff… okay? Can't catch up on birth control
Rebecca nodded her head. "Okay."
"I'll wait for you in the bedroom." Kristen moved past Rebecca while she was speaking and grabbed the cream. Rebecca nodded her head and took the jar, she watched as Kristen left the bathroom closing the door slightly on her way out.
Rebecca applied her cream and put a fresh mesh bandage on, she pulled her nightshirt back on, then went to grab her antibiotic medication. Since she was still having a lot of discomfort from her earlier appointment with Dr. Epley she also grabbed her bottle of pain pills. Rebecca swallowed the pills then looked at herself again in the mirror.
Rebecca felt shaky inside, so many feelings running through her head, she had never felt anything like that in her life. She was nervous and had no clue on how to handle a relationship with a woman, but the pull was too strong. She loved Kristen and would learn.
Rebecca walked out of the bathroom and her eyes met Kristen's. Kristen held her arm open as an invitation. Rebecca walked over and crawled into bed placing her head on Kristen's shoulder as she was wrapped securely in Kristen's arms.
Kristen turned the light off and two very emotionally tired ladies settled into a comfortable embrace. Rebecca had turned on her side and rested her head on Kristen's shoulder. Being very careful of her still sore body, she tucked her arm with the brace between them and the other arm went over Kristen's belly. It was quiet for a few moments then Rebecca spoke quietly to Kristen.
"You know… um, I really like how this feels."
Kristen gave her a little squeeze. "So do I."
To be continued…….