Sitting on a grassy hill and heavy in thought, the Warrior Princess was pondering on how things had changed over the years. Here she was talking of peace and doing anything she could not to kill. Then there was her bard. Fighting, killing, a warrior. Losing her soul with each battle. Shaking her head with painful amazement.
How on earth did this happen, she muttered over and over in her mind. When did she stop being the dark half of the partnership and when did Gabrielle start? Was she too blind to see what was happening? When did the world turn upside down without her knowing? The more the warrior thought, the more pain she was in. Ah, guilt, my old friend. Covering her face with her hands, Xena cried for her bard.
Unknown to the warrior, Gabrielle was watching. Sensing all the turmoil her warrior was going through. Xena was probably thinking all the same things she was. When did things change so much? Gabrielle made her way slowly toward Xena. Hoping she could put into words a way so both could heal.
"Hi." Said the cautious bard. Nearly losing it when she saw the tear stained face of her warrior.
"Hi yourself." Xena tried hard to give her a smile, but failed. "We need to talk Gabrielle." The Amazon Queen could see the warrior was going to go into her usual blaming of herself, when the she stopped her.
"Don't." Gabrielle took a huge breath and started. "We aren't going to keep repeating this same conversation all the time." She felt bad when Xena flinched. "Let me talk." She just needed to find the right words. Sitting next to the warrior, taking her hand and holding it tight.
"When you stop and think about humanity, you can't help but laugh." She smiled at that." We complain that our lives are to boring, and dream of adventures we would be too scared to try even if we had the chance." She wasn't talking about them, just people in general.
"Going through daily routines hoping something will change." Taking another deep breath. "Then change occurs we can't accept it and we want it to go back to normal." Both women chuckled.
"I grew up Xena, I changed." She hung her head a little. "It scares me, but that's life." Gabrielle was trying hard not to break down. "More then half of me still believes that love will win over all." A tear slipped out. "The other half knows that the world is far from perfect." Wiping her face and looking up at her warrior.
"Before we were crucified I learned that sometime you have to fight to keep the love." The bard looked into those blue eyes she loved so much. "And yes, even kill." She reached over and brought the warrior's head towards, needing Xena's full attention.
"I do feel with each battle I lose part of myself." The bard caressed the warrior's face that had tears ready to spill. "I've had some time to think." She gave the hand she was still holding a kiss. "If I didn't feel the loss, if I just shook it off and went on...." Giving her warrior a weak smile. "Then I would be truly lost." Gabrielle gave Xena a minute to let it sink in.
"I feel each and every kill, and that's the half of me just wanting us to all to love." Her voice cracked. "I made the right choice Xena, I know that." Saying that strongly. "I had to do whatever I could to keep my sisters alive, and I did. Closing her eyes hoping she made all the right choices.
"Just like you learned that killing isn't always the answer, I had to learn that sometimes it is." Xena looked at her with an odd expression. "You grew up and changed as well." The bard put her arm around the warrior and pulled her close, "We are together to balance one another out." Xena sighed and moved her head up and down.
"So one or the other does not slip too much in one direction." Xena said. She knew Gabrielle was right. Still didn't have to like it.
Kissing her warrior's tanned cheek. "Thank you for bringing me back." Gabrielle said with love and trust.
"I have a good teacher." The emotional couple pulled one another in an embrace. Then they both laid down on the grassy hill to look up at the stars. With the warrior laying in her lap. Sitting in silence until the bard heard a faint snoring from her warrior. For the first time in a couple of days she had a small ironic sense of peace.