A Little Slice of Heaven by Shea K.

17: Love spelled backwards

"Jaz, that is a nice bracelet you're wearing," Robbie commented as she happened to catch the gleam of the piece of jewelry. She, Jaz, and their usual group were huddled around a table in their college library, trying to get some work done. It was likely that they were going to be kicked out of the library, considering the mess they made with books and papers being everywhere. It did not help that Mitch did not seem to know the meaning of the word "quiet." Thankfully, they would be leaving soon enough anyway and just hoped that they could make it to that without anything embarrassing happening.

"Whoa, it is," Cocoa agreed, grabbing Jaz by the arm and yanking her closer, so that he could get a better look at it. "Are those real sapphires?"

Jaz shrugged indifferently. "I'm sure they are."

"Damn, Georgie is buying you shit like that?" Peach inquired as he leaned over the table to examine the bracelet.

"It was probably another apology gift," Mitch pointed out, rolling her eyes. The group groaned as they realized she had a point.

"Is it another apology gift?" Robbie asked, looking the giantess in the face. "I swear, you two have more fights than an old married couple," she declared.

"No, this isn't an apology gift and you make it sound like we fight all the time. We've only had a few fights. I wouldn't even call them fights. They're just misunderstandings," Jaz argued.

Mitch rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, that whole 'vacation misunderstanding' was hell for a week for us because of your shitty attitude," she stated.

"Plus, didn't you guys just have a fight last week?" Peach asked.

Jaz snorted. "You guys need to find your own girlfriends if you're clocking me this hard. Everything is fine with me and Georgie. She bought the bracelet for me a while ago. I never wore it and she keeps asking about it. She thinks I don't like it, so I'm wearing it now, so she'll see it when I go over there later," she explained.

"Oh, that's sweet that you would wear it just so she feels appreciated," Cocoa commented.

"I don't know. Aren't you just encouraging her to buy you more things, which you don't want her to do?" Robbie inquired.

"Well it's either that or put up with her pouting about how I never wear anything she buys me unless she asks me to. While I like her pouting face because it is adorable, I don't want to seriously see it every time I show up at the door," Jaz answered.

"You should just leave that chick alone. She's married. She was fine as a friend, but you shouldn't be dating her," Mitch proclaimed.

"Did I ask you who I should be dating, blondie?" Jaz asked with a smart-aleck smirk.

"Do I give a shit?" Mitch countered. "You're putting yourself through a bunch of bullshit for no reason."

Jaz rolled her eyes. "It's not for no reason. Mind your own business, Mitch," she snorted angrily.

The blonde rolled her eyes too and put her hands up in a defensive manner. "Always afraid of the truth," she remarked.

"Fuck you," the artist snapped.

A couple of glares got Mitch to keep her thoughts to herself. Of course, it did not stop the others from expressing their thoughts. Jaz did not even bother countering them anyway. They had opinions and they were going to keep voicing them, no matter how much she hated it. She really wished that they would all go out and find their own significant others, if only to get out of her business. The group was able to make it out of the library without being escorted out by security, mostly because Jaz had enough presence of mind to avoid screaming at her friends when they began to get on her nerves.

Jaz's mind did wander to the topic of arguments. She and Georgia had been fighting much more since they started dating. She supposed it was because of the change of their relationship. Going out was rather different from being friends, especially when it involved a married woman. Shaking her head, she forced herself not to think about it. She liked being with Georgia and that was that. In fact, she made it a point to go see Georgia when she left her other friends.

"Hey, Jazzy, I didn't expect to see you today," Georgia said, opening her front door and smiling brightly as the college student walked in.

"Sorry, but I missed you," Jaz replied, which got a bigger smile out of Georgia.

"I always miss you when you're away. Come on in. Allen is out playing cards," Georgia explained.

"I thought he only did that on Tuesday."

"This was a spontaneous game. He'll probably be gone for a while."

"Good." Jaz wrapped Georgia into a tight hug and proceeded to kiss her senseless as well as breathless. The best part was that for a few seconds after the kiss, Georgia was speechless.

"Your kisses are always so good," Georgia muttered after just staring blankly at the amazon for a while.

"I do try," Jaz remarked with a proud grin.

"You can try that all you want then," the older woman quipped.

Jaz chuckled and took that invitation, leaning down for another kiss. By the time she pulled away, Georgia was pressed up against her, legs unable to support her anymore. Jaz smiled proudly and wrapped her arms around Georgia. She then lifted the older woman up bridal style and carried her to the couch. Georgia giggled and clung to Jaz on the way.

"I love it when you carry me places!" the smaller woman commented. "You're so strong," she added.

Jaz only chuckled, not wanting to tell Georgia that she had been working out for a while now to make sure she could easily carry the smaller woman. She liked that Georgia thought she was strong and felt safe when she held Georgia. Lowering Georgia down to the couch, she made sure to hold on tight, getting several kisses from the pale woman.

"Do we have time for…" Jaz whispered, wiggling her eyebrows instead of finishing her question.

"I don't know. I don't know how long Allen is going to be gone," Georgia replied.

"That's okay. Cuddling on the couch with you is always fun," the younger woman declared with a smile.

"With plenty of kisses and caresses," Georgia added.

Jaz nodded eagerly in agreement, sliding down onto the sofa. Georgia crawled over onto her, prompting her to lie back until Georgia came to rest almost completely on top of her. Georgia rested her head on Jaz's shoulder, so that kissing would be easier.

"So, what have you been up to?" Jaz asked curiously, her hands idly wandering around Georgia's backside. The brown-eyed woman was certain that was Jaz's favorite area of her anatomy, not that she had any complaints.

"Nothing much. The usual really. I spoke with my friends recently, as they're trying to organize a neighborhood block party for Halloween. Something for children in the day and for the adults at night. We didn't get much done, though," Georgia answered.

"Why, did you have this little meeting here and Allen walked in to break it up?"

"No, thankfully not. Sometimes, my friends like to be spiteful and come here, but other days they just don't want to bother with Allen. I don't understand why he's like that. He makes it seem like my friends are such fiends and pure evil. He still swears you've been robbing us blind, even though nothing is missing."

Jaz chuckled. "Maybe I should take something. Would it make him feel better if he was right?"

Georgia giggled. "Don't you dare. I would never hear the end of how right he was about you. Although, I have to admit, he was right about one thing."

A sandy golden eyebrow arched in curiosity. "And what's that?"

"He assumed you were a lesbian and out to seduce me."

"Well, he was right about the first thing, but I assure you, it wasn't until after I slept with you that first time that I had any plans of seducing you. Hell, I don't think even after that. I'm just drawn to you," the taller woman explained.

"I know what you mean. I never had any plans to seduce you either, but something about you always pulls me in."

Jaz nodded and sighed, enjoying the feel of Georgia pressed against her. It felt so right, she thought. She wondered if it felt as right to Georgia. Part of her concluded it could not feel as good to Georgia because if it did, Georgia would have left Allen by now. I guess everything is not right.

"You okay?" Georgia asked.

"Of course. I'm here with my favorite gal. Why wouldn't I be all right?" Jaz countered, wondering if Georgia had felt her tense a few seconds ago and that was what prompted the question.

Georgia smiled a bit at the compliment. "Your favorite gal? You make it sound like there's a list."

There was a hoot of laughter. "There is a very long list," she teased.

"There better not be!" There was a pinch to the side that only got more laughter out of the taller woman.

"You're the only one for me," Jaz insisted, knowing in her heart that much was true. She was careful not to gulp as she realized that she meant that.

Georgia opened her mouth, as if she was going to say those words back, but quickly closed her mouth. Obviously, the words coming from her would seem very false while she was still married to Allen. Swallowing down the response, she managed a smile at Jaz.

"You're special to me," Georgia managed.

Am I? "I know."

Settling down, they turned their attention to whatever was on television. Through out the time, Georgia occasionally kissed Jaz's neck, throat, or cheek until she turned her head for a proper kiss. Whenever she pulled away, she noticed a somewhat troubled look in Jaz's eyes. Tempted to ask what was wrong, she kept her mouth shut, fearing that she was the answer.

"Wouldn't it be nice to stay like this all day?" Georgia asked, snuggling closer to the artist.

"We do this all day a lot," Jaz pointed out. Whenever Allen was out on business trips, this was one of the main things that they did when they were in the house.

"Today in particular I would like to do it, though."

"Are things all right between you and Allen?" Jaz asked, even though she did not give a rat's ass anymore. In fact, she was extremely sick of him and wished that he would just go away forever.

"They're like they always are."

"I thought that vacation was supposed to be his showing that he was ready to turn over a new leaf," Jaz commented caustically. Thankfully, Georgia chose to ignore her tone.

"That's what I thought too, but when we got back it was business as usual. His business still has him running around, even though things are looking up for him in that area. He has gotten a couple of big clients to buy his software, so that's always good. Unfortunately, he's taken to celebrating by hanging out with his friends instead of spending time with me," Georgia explained.

"He has his priorities confused."

"Good to know it's not just me that thinks so. I was telling my other friends about it too and, even though they don't want to say it to my face, I get the impression that they believe the spice has gone out of my marriage."

Jaz nodded, more absently than in agreement. Mentally, she was stuck on the term "my other friends." It was as if she was included in that category-the friend category. She was more than a friend, though, she quietly insisted. I'm her girlfriend, goddamn it! Doesn't she realize that? She's my fucking girlfriend!

"Jazzy, are you sure you're okay?" Georgia asked.

"I'm fine. I might be tired or something. I spent my morning being ridiculed by my friends and wandering a mall," Jaz replied, forcing out a laugh.

"Why were you in a mall?" Georgia inquired, sounding a little bewildered. The mall certainly was not a normal destination for Jaz and her crew.

"Peach was trying to find his mother a gift for her birthday. We tried to tell him to do like the rest of us do and just order junk online, but he listens as well as Mitch sometimes," the college student remarked.

Georgia chuckled. "You and your friends are a little odd."

"A little? I could've sworn that we're damned weird. Now, I find out we're only a little odd. I have to tell them we must work harder!" Jaz joked.

"You're so silly."

"You like me silly."

Georgia made a little noise of agreement. "I like many things about you."

"Oh, tell me," Jaz requested. Show me that you see me, you pay attention to me, you want me as badly as I want you.

The seriousness in her voice caught Georgia by surprise, but she had no problem going down a list. "Where to start? Well, I like your boldness because without that we never would have met in the first place. I like your kindness for the same reason. I like that you're talented, but humble in regards to it, as well as your intelligence. I like the way you cutely rub your nose whenever you're in deep thought. I like how you value your family and friends. I like that you're always there for me and how special you make me feel. I like how you hold me as if I'm the most precious thing in the world to you and I like how you let me hold you the same way. I like how you appreciate all of the little things that I do for you, like when I make you cupcakes or other baked goodies. I like how you look at me."

"Look at you?" Jaz echoed as if she did not understand, even though she did. Thanks to her friends, she knew that when she looked at Georgia all of her emotions showed on her face. Hell, when she spoke about Georgia, her emotions and feelings showed on her face and could be heard in her voice.

"When you look at me, Jazzy, it makes me feel like the luckiest woman alive."

Jaz nodded for lack of a better thing to do. Georgia could see her emotions on her face? She never would have guessed. Honestly, knowing that actually hurt her. It meant that Georgia had a very good idea of what she meant to Jaz and, still, she stayed with Allen. It was more than troubling and disconcerting.

"Jazzy, are you sure you're okay, baby? You have such a strange look right now," Georgia pointed out, putting her hands on Jaz's cheeks.

A slow nod was her response. "I'm fine. I just… I just didn't know…" she muttered, hoping that she was not giving away too much with that response.

"Didn't you?" Georgia asked skeptically, smiling a bit as she spoke. She then pulled Jaz in for a sweet kiss, which did little to fix the taller woman's expression. Pulling away, Georgia continued to smile and used two fingers to massage Jaz's forehead, hoping to ease the tension out of her face.

"I love you…" Jaz whispered, sounding as if she just realized it.

Georgia blinked hard and moved, needing to look directly at Jaz. "Excuse me? What did you just say?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"I love you," Jaz declared, much stronger this time, but still a bit shocked herself. Straightening herself out, she stared at Georgia, looked her dead in the eye and said it again. "I love you," she repeated.

"Why would you say that?" the older woman inquired, face trembling as if she was about to cry.

"Because that's the truth. That's why I feel this way. That's why I look at you the way I do. That's why I appreciate any and everything you do. I love you, Georgie-girl. I love you so much."

"Jaz, you're young. You don't know what you're saying."

"I may be young, but I know exactly what I'm saying. I love you."

Georgia suddenly frowned. "So, what is that? Like you're staking a claim on me?" she demanded.

Jaz snarled, livid that her emotions were being met with near belligerence, as they often were. "Why the hell does it always have to be like this with you? Why the hell can't I just love you and that be that? Staking a claim on you? HA! You mean like you do to me any and every chance you fucking get?!"

"What are you talking about?" Georgia asked, her tone heated and her expression tense.

Jaz stood up, almost as if she needed to physically look down on Georgia to have the argument. "All of this bullshit that you buy me isn't that to take a claim on me? Oh, don't tell me it's not! You get to let all of the other ladies know you own the big dyke standing next to you!"

The glare and harsh use of the word "dyke" seemed to snap Georgia out of her funk. A grimace tore through her face before settling into a sorrowful expression. Reaching out, she sort of cooed Jaz's name.

"Jazzy." Georgia grabbed onto her lover's hand. "Is that what you really think? That I buy you things for that reason?"

"Isn't it?" Jaz growled.

"No, Jazzy, I don't do that. I don't want to own you either. I just like buying things for you to show you that I appreciate you too. We've gone through this before. I can't do much for you, baby, especially compared to what you do for me, so I try to make up for it by buying you nice things," Georgia explained, pulling herself up using Jaz and then embracing the taller woman.

Jaz tried to hold steady, but taking a deep breath caused her to inhale Georgia's sweet scent. The aroma instantly calmed her. Long arms slide around Georgia and pressed her to Jaz.

"I'm sorry I make you feel that way, Jazzy. I'm also sorry I keep starting these stupid arguments with you. I hate always thinking so suspiciously. I'm starting to wonder if it's really Allen who's always starting fights with me and not the other way around," Georgia commented.

"I've witnessed his attitude, I'm sure it's him more often than not," Jaz replied dryly. Although, she was not willing to be blame him for quite as many fights as she had in the past. She was willing to bet that Georgia's knack for misunderstanding many of the things she said and did came from dealing with Allen, though.

"I'm sorry I just assumed the worst. And after you say that you love me of all times," Georgia muttered, hiding her face in Jaz's chest.

For a second, the college student was going to let it slide, saying something like "it's okay," but no, it was not okay. She was in love with Georgia. It was exhilarating and harrowing in the same instance. The mixture made for a lousy sensation. Quite frankly, she did not even want to repeat the declaration. Much to her surprise, she was saved from having to dwell on it by Allen of all people.

"What the hell is going on here!" Allen roared as he marched into the living room, throwing his long jacket over the back of the couch.

"Allen!" Georgia shouted in surprise as she shoved Jaz away from her. The movement got a very deep frown from Jaz.

"What the hell is going on?" Allen repeated in a slow, deliberate tone, eyes locked on Jaz.

"Nothing is going on. I was just leaving," Jaz informed him, hating that it actually did not feel like a lie. Nothing more than usual was going on anyway and she was leaving now. Why stand around to be pushed away as if she had the plague, after all?

"And you better never come around here again," Allen warned her with a menacing glare in his eye.

Jaz's frown deepened to the point of hurting her face and she ceased any moves that she was making toward the door. Turning to him in a rather methodical manner, she growled. Georgia stepped over quickly, putting her hand on Jaz's arm. The action was supposed to calm Jaz down, but all it did was enrage her further. Yanking her limb away, she glowered at the married couple.

"I'll come around as much as I damn well please if Georgie invites me. Is that understood?" Jaz informed him.

"And I'll call the cops," he countered.

"For what? Can't be trespassing if I was invited, dipshit," Jaz pointed out.

"Jazzy, please," Georgia begged in a low whimper.

"I don't have time for this bullshit. I'll see you later, Georgie," the tall woman stated, pushing by Allen, making sure not to touch him. The last thing she wanted to do was end up in jail on phony assault charges.

"No, you won't!" Allen screamed.

Jaz did not respond, walking out as coolly as she could, even though she wanted to break out into a jog. Once she was clear, it took a considerable effort to not slam the house door or peel off in her car. For the first time in a long time, she did not care that she was leaving Georgia alone with an upset Allen. As long as he did not hit her or something else as extreme, he could argue with her to their hearts' content as far as Jaz was concerned.

-8-8-8-8-

"What the hell was she doing here yet again?" Allen demanded to know, glaring down at his wife.

Georgia's focus was more on the door that Jaz practically ran out of not even a minute ago. Turning, she looked out of the window just in time to see Jaz's car speed off. Allen did not even register to her brain until he was in her face, grabbing her by the chin to force her to look at him.

"I asked you a question!" he bellowed.

Georgia winced and pulled her face away. "You don't have to scream. I think it's obvious what she was doing here-keeping me company."

"I've told you time and time again about having your friends over here!"

"I've listened to you go on about that madness, but I refuse to obey! If your friends can come here, which they do much more frequently than my own, then I should be able to have friends over too. Do I bark and whine when you have your poker parties or your sports' parties or anything like that over here? No! I merely go find something else to do with my time. Even if I stick around, I don't say anything, as you and your friends proceed to order me around as if I were your your maid. At least I have the courtesy to have friends over when you're out of the house, so you don't have to suffer through them!" she pointed out.

"There's nothing wrong with my friends!"

"And there's nothing wrong with mine!"

"Oh, no? How about we start with the one who just left who probably has been robbing us since you met her and who's probably just trying to seduce you," he stated, as if those assumptions were stone-cold facts.

"You don't know that. You're just being judgmental! What do you have against her? Is that she's young, black, or possibly gay?" she inquired. It was eating her up to find out what exactly rubbed her husband the wrong way about Jaz at first. It seemed like a combination of things, which she could not believe. Or… did not want to believe anyway.

"It doesn't matter. I just know she's not good for you, but you're too…" He swallowed whatever insult was on the tip of his tongue, but there was a suspicious hissing noise coming from his mouth before he stopped himself.

Georgia arched an eyebrow and folded her arms across her chest. "Too what?" she dared him to finish. She suspected the word would be "stupid."

"Trusting. I was going to say you're too trusting," he insisted.

Bullshit! Georgia turned her mouth up, skeptical that was how he planned to finish that sentence. He had said that she was too trusting in the past, but she was beginning to believe that was his way of saying she was too ignorant and could not fend for herself. She needed him to guide her and walk her through life. Bullshit!

"Allen, do you think I'm a fool? I'm so easily taken advantage of?" she asked, even though she knew the answer to that. She wondered what made him think that. Was it something in her character? Were there instances where she had acted in some manner that led him to that conclusion? What could it possibly be?

He sighed, as if he was hurt that she would think such a thing. "I don't think you're a fool. I just think that people mistake your kindness for weakness and I'm sure that's what that girl is doing. I think that's what most of your friends do."

"Why do you think that? Because they ask me to do things and I do them? They ask me because I'm reliable and I'm happy to do it because I have little else to do with my time. After all, you don't want me to work unless it's running my own business, which I can't do until your business is off the ground. So, what do you want me to do? Sit in the house and pine away for you? Ha!"

"You know, most women would be happy to be in a house where they didn't have to work," he countered with a growl.

"Most women would like to have a choice. I'm trying to be supportive, Allen. You don't want me to work, so you can prove to my parents that you can take care of me, fine. You see I don't work. But, I'm not going to sit in here and do nothing all day. Nor will I be servile and cater to your every whim. I'm not your servant girl or your slave, all right? I have a life of my own."

"I'm not saying you don't. I'm saying you don't appreciate what I provide and then you bring all sorts of questionable characters into our home. This is supposed to be our sanctuary. I'd like to be able to leave on a business trip and know that when I get back in a week nothing is missing!" he barked.

"Nothing is ever missing! Jaz isn't a thief nor are my other friends! No one here ever snoops like you think either! But, what do you think they'll find, Allen? What's going on around the house that you feel other people don't need to see?" she inquired.

There was something about the look on his face as she asked that question that struck her as odd. It was clear that he took it as an accusation before he even opened his mouth, even though she meant it as a simple question. But, the look in his eyes spoke more than just a mere accusation. She was not sure what it meant, though.

"Do you think something's going on?" he countered, glaring down at her as if she had some nerve accusing him of anything. Not that she was accusing him of anything at all! He just took it the wrong way.

"I think you're too paranoid for no reason. I'm tired of fighting over this. We're always fighting and it's exhausting," Georgia declared and she started walking off. Sighing, she could see why Jaz sometimes seemed so tired after being with her. Arguing all of the time was a struggle and she was sick of it. Before she could completely retreat, Allen gripped her bicep with his right hand.

"Do you think you can just dismiss me?" he demanded.

"I'm not dismissing you. I'm dismissing myself," she stated.

"You're brushing me off. Now that you have friends what I have to say isn't important anymore?" he asked, sounding something that seemed close to hurt.

As she turned, Georgia could see sorrow in his eyes. It was not the first time that she had seen the expression, but it was the first time that she wondered if it was genuine. For some reason, she considered that he might be acting, forcing out that hurt look to make her feel bad. She decided to believe him. He was her husband, after all, and she did not want to think that he could be so manipulative of her feelings and emotions. So, she turned to completely face him.

"Of course what you have to say is important. I'm just tired of the arguing. It seems like all we do now is argue. We don't talk. We don't spend time together. Even when we went on vacation, it was like two separate vacations. You went partying and I went shopping. Whenever we're together, there's always an argument," she explained.

He nodded as if he understood. "I see what you mean. I suppose I should shoulder some of the blame since I know I start trouble when I come back from business trips. I'm just so stressed sometimes and I feel like you don't appreciate it," he replied, sounding contrite and pouting. Again, something about his expression said "acting" to her, but she ignored it.

"I do appreciate it! I understand your stress, but I just wish you didn't make it seem like every time I walk in a room there's something wrong."

"You're right."

"And I need to feel appreciated too, Allen," she reminded him.

He nodded again. "You're right. I tell you what, how about we go out for the whole weekend?"

"It's our anniversary anyway, Allen," she pointed out.

"Only Friday is the anniversary. I mean, the whole weekend. From Friday to Monday," he proposed with a smile.

"Do you mean it?" Hope sneaked into her voice there, making it smaller than she would have liked. "And we'll spend time together?"

"I mean it and we will. I have earned enough credit at a few nice hotels for us to have sort of a mini-vacation. We'll stay at a hotel and then we'll eat at the finest restaurants and see a show or two. What do you think?"

"Can you really do all of this on such short notice?" she asked skeptically.

"Well, I do have tickets for the show already and reservations for dinner. I think I can manage the rest. You just be ready for the time of your life," he declared.

"Oh, Allen!" Georgia flung herself at him, embracing him tightly and forgetting that she was ever upset with him in the first place. Allen smiled as he returned the hug.

-8-8-8-8-

Jaz found herself bored and more than a little disappointed in herself. Lying in her bed, she kept thinking about how she abandoned the woman she claimed to love all because Georgia had upset her. Yes, Georgia had treated her rather poorly, but that did not make it right for her to leave Georgia to fight with Allen. Sighing, she rolled over onto her stomach, wondering how she could go about making things up to Georgia.

"Should I really be the one to apologize? She was the one that was wrong. Do I roll over for her too easily?" Jaz wondered, not that any of that mattered since she was feeling around for her cell phone anyway.

Times like these made her wish that she could talk to her parents about her relationship with Georgia. She was sure that they would be able to give her fine advise, but she was not about to approach them. They were already disappointed in her for dating Georgia. She did not want them to know that she was having problems with Georgia now. It would mean that they were right all along and she had been wrong in more ways than one. No, she was not ready to admit that.

Dialing Georgia up, Jaz tried to figure out what she was going to say. She quickly found out it did not matter because Georgia did not pick up. The voice mail answered and Jaz was forced to leave a message, just saying that she called and wanted Georgia to call her back. Sighing, she put her phone back down and stretched out on the bed, feeling like she had done all that she could do.

"Well, I guess doing the minimum that I could do. Should I get her some flowers or something? Surprise her with a really nice date at that Indian place she likes?" Jaz mused and then she shook her head. "Fuck, no. If I do that, I'm rewarding her for acting like an ass to me. I'm telling her it's okay to always spit in my face when I make a declaration of love. The ball's in her court this time. I'm not going to keep bending over backwards for her."

For some reason, she did not believe her own words. She knew all Georgia had to do was snap her fingers and she would be there like a little lapdog… well, a big lapdog. Georgia had her wrapped around her little finger.

"Once upon a time, I didn't care that she did. I would do anything for her quite happily… not so much anymore…" Jaz muttered to herself. "Maybe I'm just down because our time ended so abruptly. I bet I'd feel better if I saw her for as long as we usually do, not stealing a moment like earlier."

Deciding that was the truth, she pulled herself off of her bed and went about her night as she generally did. Settling back into her bed after a hot shower and hot food, she checked her phone to see if she had a message from Georgia. If not, she would just stop by the house in the afternoon. Allen was almost always out in the afternoon. It would only have to be a minute, just to give her and Georgia some time on her own terms. Before she could fall asleep, her phone rang. A smile worked its way onto her face when she saw that it was Georgia.

"Hey, Georgie-girl!" Jaz greeted her.

"Hey, Jazzy," Georgia replied, her voice low. "Sorry for calling so late. Allen wanted to stay up, watching movies and stuff."

Jaz frowned; that was her thing to do with Georgie! "Oh."

"Yeah, but I got your message. I'm sorry, but I probably won't be able to do anything with you this week, Jazzy."

And the frown got deeper. "This whole week? Why?" her voice was harsher than she meant it to be.

"My anniversary is Friday and I want to plan out something special for Allen since he's planning something special for us. He says we'll celebrate for four days. Isn't that sweet?"

"Yeah, last time he did something sweet, he left you to your own devices in a foreign country," Jaz pointed out.

"He apologized for that. What's your problem?"

"My problem is that I want to spend time with my girlfriend again, but she's doing something else. What the fuck, Georgie? What the fuck do I need to do to get some time with you? It can't be fuck you since I do that already!" Jaz proclaimed, not caring if the whole house heard her screaming into the phone.

"Jazzy, calm down," Georgia hissed. "We've been through this before. I can't just tell him no. Plus, it's our anniversary. Why do you have to keep acting like this?"

"Why? Because I want to be with my girlfriend. What the hell don't you understand about that? What the fuck is so hard to understand about that?" Jaz demanded.

"Stop screaming at me, Jaz. I don't appreciate your attitude. Maybe I should call back when you've stopped whining."

"Stop pulling this fucking age shit! Every time I have a problem with something you do, I'm suddenly whining and being a brat. What the fuck? Am I only an adult when my head is in your fucking crotch?"

"Jazzy!" Georgia shrieked as if she had never heard such crude language. Typically, Jaz would never think to say something so harsh to Georgia, but she was just so far gone in her fury that she did not care anymore.

"What! What do you want from me, Georgie? To just be happy with the fucking runner-up prize? To be happy with second place all the fucking time?"

"Prize? Is that what I am to you, some prize?" Georgia demanded.

"No, no, no, don't try to flip this shit and make it seem like I'm the one treating you badly. You're not the prize. You're the selfish bitch," Jaz declared.

Georgia gasped. "It's my anniversary," she said through gritted teeth.

"Uh-huh and the wonderful Allen is treating you to a four day beautiful spoiling session, so he can go back to fucking up for another couple of months. But, let me ask you this one since I'm so fucking important to you, what's Monday?" Jaz inquired.

Georgia was quiet, making it clear that she had no idea what Monday was. Well, of course, aside from her last day with the great Allen and his spectacular apology gift. Jaz swallowed down all of the sorrow and pain that she felt at the moment.

"What's Monday?" Georgia asked in a low voice, making it seem like she knew it was something significant, but did not know what.

"Nothing. Monday's nothing. Never mind. Enjoy your anniversary," Jaz said, sounding more than deflated. She almost sounded defeated. She ended the call before Georgia could say anything. "Damn it!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, resisting the urge to throw her phone, but unable to hold back her tears.

A knock at the door did not halt the sobs either. "Little gem, is everything all right?" Maggie called from outside the room.

Jaz sniffled a bit and wiped her face. "Yeah," her voice broke as she spoke that one word, so she knew that her mother was not going to buy it.

"Little gem, you know if you want to speak about it, I will talk to you, even if it involves Georgia," Maggie informed her daughter.

"I'm fine, really, Ma," Jaz insisted, her voice in shambles thanks to her sobs.

The door opened with a soft creak and Maggie stepped in, wearing her pajamas of a ratty tee-shirt and gym shorts. From the state of her hair, Jaz suspected that she woke her mother up; the woman slept so lightly a feather hitting the floor could wake her up. Without an invite, she sat down next to Jaz and wrapped her arms around her distressed daughter.

"Tell Mama what's wrong, little gem. What happened?" Maggie asked in a soft tone, gently rocking Jaz and caressing her side.

"Mama… I don't know what to do anymore. I just… I'm so tired, so tired," Jaz replied, sniffling again and wiping her face.

"What happened?"

"We argue all the time. I feel like I get in trouble for his mistakes while he gets to try to make it up to her. Every time I say something to her, there's a chance she'll take it the wrong way and start an argument. Every time I want to do something with her, I have to make sure Allen isn't trying to do something with her. I can't surprise her. I can't do anything big for her. Whenever I try something, it feels like it just blows up in my face. I wanted to see her tomorrow, but she's planning her anniversary with him."

Maggie nodded. "Well, that one is understandable, Jaz. She is a married woman."

"Our anniversary is Monday…"

"Your anniversary?" Maggie echoed.

"Six months. She didn't remember it…"

"Oh, little gem," Maggie whispered and held her child tighter. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I told her I love her today and she started an argument with me over it. And, I do, Ma. I do love her. Is it wrong to want to celebrate our six month anniversary? Is it wrong to love her?" Jaz begged to know, clutching onto her mother for dear life now.

Maggie rested her head against her daughter's and kissed her hair. "Baby, I don't think it's wrong to ever love anyone. I just know that sometimes it hurts and that's what you're feeling now, the hurt."

"Does it always hurt?"

"Has it always hurt with Georgia?"

Jaz sniffled and shook her head. "Sometimes, it's magical. Being with her is like being in heaven. But, that heaven always turns into Hell. Does that always happen or does it just mean she doesn't feel the same way as I do? Does Georgie not love me like I love her?"

There was a small sigh. "Little gem, I can't begin to tell you what Georgia feels for you. I suspect she must feel quite a bit to continue seeing you, even though she's married," Maggie commented.

"But, you thought she was using me before."

"I know. I was upset before and I was worried about that. You know I always worry about you, munchkin. After seeing you when you come in from being with her, I can tell she makes you very happy much of the time. I don't think someone with wicked intent or purely selfish reasons can make another person that happy. From what you say now, maybe Georgia is just confused. I know you treat her right, baby, so maybe she just needs time to realize that. It's possible she's not ready to move forward with you."

"Why not? I'm better than he is. I know I am. I'm better to her and I'm better for her. Why does she keep picking him then? Why would she remember her anniversary with him, but not her anniversary with me? Do our six months mean nothing to her?" Jaz begged to know, breathing sounding heavy now.

"Baby, I need you to calm down. You know what happens when you get too worked up."

"It's not so bad. My chest hurts, but it's not my asthma."

"It's Georgia."

Jaz nodded and then sniffled. "What do I do, Mama? I love her and I feel like I don't mean anything to her."

"Don't think like that. She probably has her hands full dealing with her husband and sometimes she just thinks you'll be there always for her, like you are. She doesn't have to stress about you, Jasper. She feels like she has to deal with him, but things aren't like that with you."

"Is that a good thing?" Jaz asked, sounding quite bewildered. It sounded like a good thing, but felt like it was the opposite.

"It has it's drawbacks, as you are experiencing. But, you have made her comfortable with you and you're not a problem for her, which is good."

"So not a problem that she forgets our anniversary? She's making this big deal out of her anniversary with Allen and he's an ass to her most of the time. While she just forgets me when I would bend over backwards for her. That doesn't seem fair."

Maggie was quiet briefly, as if she was thinking of the best thing to say. For Jaz, there was no "best thing to say." She was not important to Georgia and it was plain as day to her.

"Is it always going to be like this? I had always envisioned having a great relationship like you and Dad have," Jaz said.

"It won't always be like this. One day, you're going to find someone that makes you feel so good that you'll actually do something crazy for them, like move out of the house despite the fact that I'll be on my hands and knees begging you to stay," Maggie remarked with a sad smile.

Jaz laughed. "If I ever get that idea, I'm sure you're going to chain me to my bed, so I don't."

"Probably. I know my parents wish they thought of that before I left Greece."

"But, if they did that, they wouldn't have the two coolest grandchildren on Earth," Jaz boasted, feeling a little better thanks to her mother.

"No, you two would have still been in the cards. They would've kept your father too, just like I tell you and Flint that there's plenty of room for your wives around here."

Jaz looked around her room, which was slightly messy as always. "I better find a girl that likes house cleaning or she'll never fit in here."

Maggie chuckled that time. "Or just make sure she's not our height."

"That too." Jaz suddenly yawned. "Thanks, Ma. I feel better. I think I need to get some sleep now, though. Class always comes earlier than it needs to."

"I know that's true. Goodnight, little gem."

"Goodnight, Mama."

Maggie kissed the side of Jaz's head and then left to go back to bed. Jaz collapsed onto her pillow as soon as she was alone. Replaying the conversation in her head with her mother, she felt like her mother was just being nice to her. When she brought up that she wanted to have a relationship like her parents had, she noted her mother said she would find someone, implying Georgia was not that person. Her mind was starting to think that might be true, but her heart refused. She loved Georgia, despite everything that happened. She loved Georgia.

-8-8-8-8-

18: In Pandora's box

Georgia sat at the dining room table in the dark, sipping some tea with the hope that it would sooth her nerves. She was waiting for Jaz to call her back after hanging up on her. After the first few minutes, it was pretty clear that Jaz was not going to call back, but she held onto the hope. She always held onto the hope.

There was something about Jaz that made her trust that things would be better. She never felt that with Allen. With Allen, she was always waiting, anticipating the next acrid moment. It was like she did not have time to hope, except for when he seemed somewhat contrite and was looking to make things up. Like now with the four-day anniversary celebration.

"It's my anniversary. Why doesn't she understand that? Why did it have to turn into a fight? Why does everything have to turn into a fight? And what was so important about Monday?" Georgia pondered aloud.

Taking a drink from her cup, Georgia tried to think of the answer to at least one of her questions. She wished that she could chalk the fight up to the fact that Jaz was surprisingly immature when it came to accepting the fact that she was still a married woman and had responsibilities to her marriage. But, she sensed it was more than that. She also conceded that putting it that way was trying to blame things on Jaz's age, as she tended to do.

"But, sometimes it is her age. She shows how callow she can be given the right circumstances," Georgia grumbled. She felt like Jaz was being juvenile now, whining about wanting to spend time with Georgia on her anniversary. She should just understand and accept that sometimes Georgia could not drop everything and be with her. Unfortunately, Georgia was not unattached like she was. They were not the average couple.

"Georgia," Allen called, sounding as if he were at the foot of the stairs.

"I'm in the dining room," she replied.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked, turning into the room in question.

"I just needed to have some tea. I couldn't sleep," she explained. And I probably still won't be able to sleep. Not with Jazzy on my brain. I still wonder what she meant by what Monday was.

"You couldn't sleep?" he echoed, almost as if that was the most ridiculous thing that he had ever heard. "Why couldn't you sleep? I feel like I should've worn you out properly," he remarked with a lewd grin.

Georgia tensed momentarily, but it went unnoticed as Allen slid into the seat next to her. Her tea almost made an unscheduled trip back up, but willpower prevented that. She had felt so dirty and used, she realized, not even an hour ago. She had been feeling like that almost any time she was next to Allen and he was touching her in some way. She did not know what to do about that. It was not like she could request that he never touch her again. That would seem bizarre.

"I've got a lot on my mind," she said.

"Planning for our anniversary?" he guessed.

"Yes." She was surprised by how easy it was to lie to him. It was something that she had no practice at before Jaz came along.

"You really could just leave everything up to me."

"You always want me to leave everything up to you. No matter how big or small it is. I would like to do something too, you know."

"It's just easier for me to do everything and you just show up and be pretty," he remarked, smiling, so he obviously thought that was some sort of compliment. "It's how we should always do things. You look good on my arm, after all. Everybody always says what a good-looking couple we are," he chuckled.

For a moment, all Georgia could do was stare at him as if he were some kind of idiot. "Has it ever occurred to you that I want more out of life than standing there and being pretty? I would like to plan and control things too, believe it or not. I would like to lead my life rather than be led," she said as soundly as she could without seeming harsh or rude.

"You don't need to do that, though. Why don't you get it, Georgia? I can do everything for you. I used to do most things for you and you were fine with it. You never complained once. I want to do everything for you and just have you appreciate it. I want to make it so you won't need your daddy's trust-fund to make ends meet. I want to make it so you never have to work a day in your life. I want to make it so you can be spoiled and pampered and pretty for the rest of your life."

"And when did you ask me if I want those things? You make it sound like I should be content to be your pretty little bird, kept in your beautiful cage," she commented.

A frown settled onto his face. "You know what your problem is, Georgia? Nothing is ever good enough for you. You're never going to be happy with that sort of attitude. So, how about you change it and just come on back to bed? There's no need for us to argue at one in the morning, especially when we could be doing other things if we're not going to sleep," he countered.

"I want to finish my tea," she replied in a low voice, eyes staring down at her dark reflection in the cup.

"Fine." The single word was said in such a pungent tone with a matching glower. If looks could kill, Georgia would have died right on the spot.

Allen tore himself away from the table and marched back upstairs. Georgia sighed, wondering why everything came down to an argument. Maybe it really was her that started all of the fights. After all, she had just argued with both Jazzy and Allen in less than an hour's time. The common factor there was her. Maybe it was her.

"Something must be wrong with me," Georgia grumbled. She could not think of what it might be, though. "Aside from the fact that I don't know why Jaz asked me about Monday." For some reason, she felt guilty for not being able to remember.

Beating herself up over it was not going to help, she figured, so she decided to let it go. She finished her tea and slowly made her way upstairs. Peeking into the bedroom, she noticed Allen was on his phone, which he quickly put away when she opened the door. Too tired and wrapped up in her own problems, she did not dwell on the fact that he was randomly on his phone at one in the morning. Lying down next to Allen, she actually felt the guilt increase. When he embraced her, she honestly thought her chest would cave in.

There was something wrong with Jaz, she thought. Just the way that she gave up after she brought up Monday seriously troubled Georgia. Instinctively, she knew that she was messing up, but for the life of her, she could not figure out how. She was distracted momentarily as Allen turned and nuzzled into her neck.

Georgia had to suppress a shudder as her husband cuddled into her body. She was not used to sleeping so close to him. More often than not, when they shared a bed, he would sleep on his side, leaving her to see his back. Even when they made love, which she found herself disliking more and more than ever, he usually turned over onto his side afterward. It used to bother her, but suddenly, she found herself appreciating that much more than him snuggling with her.

When she used to want him to snuggle, he never seemed interested… unless he was trying to appease her. Now, Jazzy always liked to hold her and she liked being held by Jaz. She delighted in holding Jaz too. She could spend the whole day just cuddled up with the artist. Hell, plenty of times that was how they spent the day, snuggled up together and talking about nothing in general.

With her mind back to Jaz, she thought again on how Jaz sounded when she hung up. It was almost as if Jaz had given up on her, which definitely did not sit well with her. She did not care how immature Jaz sometimes acted, she still enjoyed being with Jaz and she did not want to lose her, did not want to lose what they had. Especially not after Jaz declared her love for her.

And then I started a fight. How screwed up does one have to be to start a fight because someone that you like says they love you? I should have said something nice in return, even if I couldn't tell her I love her. Do I love her? I have no idea. I'm supposed to love Allen. I thought I did, but more and more, I'm starting to think I was very wrong about that. Maybe it wasn't so much love, but that he was the first person I trusted with my heart. I don't seem to be very good at judging that sort of thing, though. Could I be like that with Jazzy?

The very idea that her judgment could be wrong with Jaz frightened her. She had done some very immoral things for Jaz. She would not be able to forgive herself if she had been wrong about the younger woman.

Georgia eventually drifted into a very troubled sleep, full of nightmares. Dreams of Jaz walking away from her filled her mind. When she woke up, she felt even more exhausted than she did before. She prayed that the dreams were not premonitions.

-8-8-8-8-

Jaz had not called all week and Georgia was not sure what to make of that. She spent the duration preparing for her anniversary rather than dwelling on if Jaz was done with her. It was easier to keep busy than to think that she had lost Jaz.

Her time with Allen was as expected. Spending time together led to a few minor arguments, but nothing that they could not live with. Sure, she would have preferred ordering for herself every time they went to eat, but it was easier to let him do it, so she would not have to cause a scene. The show that they went to was not one that she wanted to see, but it was better than nothing. Allen enjoyed himself, so that kept him from bothering her.

More than anything else, she found herself enjoying herself a lot less than she thought she would and it had nothing to do with arguments or Allen ignoring her. During their time alone, she was not very responsive to his more amorous advances. He did not seem to notice, touching and kissing her to his heart's content. All she could think was, if only he had shown her such affection a year ago. It had taken all of her will to avoid bursting into tears.

Had he planned such an elaborate anniversary a year ago, Georgia was sure that she would have been over the moon with the little vacation. Now, all it did was make her feel guilty and awful on the inside, almost rotten. When they made love, she thought that she would be sick. If only he had done all of this last year, I wouldn't be like this.

She shook that thought off; it did not matter now. At least the trip was all right. She would give Allen that.

"Do I plan a good anniversary or what?" Allen inquired with a prideful grin as they walked into the house.

"It was fine," Georgia replied, knowing he wanted more credit than she believed he was due.

"Just fine? Come on, you know you had a good time. Why can't you just give me that?" he demanded.

Sighing, she decided to agree to avoid an argument. "You're right. I did have a good time. Thank you for all of the wonderful planning."

The look on Allen's face showed that he did not know if she was being sarcastic or not. She did not give any indication and he accepted that she was being genuine. A smile spread across his face and he embraced her. Giving her a sloppy kiss, he then pulled away and went upstairs to unpack.

Georgia sighed and wondered just how long his good mood would last. She decided not to knock it. It was nice to not fight over pointless matters, even if it meant that she had to placate him by backing off. She could understand now why Jaz often just walked away when she started arguments with the taller woman.

"Speaking of Jazzy…" Georgia reached into her purse and checked her cell phone. There were no new calls from the artist. That news caused her to pout.

Trying her best to brush off not hearing from Jaz all week, she went to unpack. Everything then quickly returned to normal. The next day Allen went out to hang out with his friends like he often did when he was at home. Georgia did not know what to make of it, but she did not have time to dwell on it. Soon after Allen left, the doorbell rang.

"I wonder who that could be," Georgia muttered, walking to the door. She gasped when she saw who was waiting for her to open the door. "Jazzy," she smiled, quickly letting the amazon in.

"Hey, Georgie," Jaz replied, bundled up in a long coat. It was cold outside; it was November, after all. It was just that Jaz did not usually wear long coats.

"It must be freezing out for you to be dressed like that," Georgia commented.

"No, it's just easier to keep things a surprise with a coat this long," the tall woman stated, causing her lover's brow to wrinkle.

"What do you mean?"

Jaz smiled as she put her hand into her coat. A small bouquet of a half-dozen roses appeared and was presented to Georgia. The older woman was so shocked that she could not move for a few seconds, just staring at the beautiful flowers. She then accepted the roses with shaky hands.

"Oh, Jazzy, they're beautiful." Georgia then breathed in the aroma. "And they smell so good."

Jaz shrugged nonchalantly. "They're not that great. Not as beautiful as you anyway," she quipped with a smile. She then leaned down and her eyes seemed to search Georgia's face briefly before going in for a quick kiss.

"Flatterer," Georgia pretended to grumble, even though they both knew she loved the attention. "What's the occasion?" she asked in a teasing tone, but the question made Jaz's expression drop.

"You mean you never figured out what Monday was?" Jaz inquired through gritted teeth. Whatever good mood that she had abandoned her with her smile.

Georgia knew that she had to tread carefully with how she answered that question. She was not sure what yesterday was, but it obviously meant something to Jaz. Unfortunately her silence was answer enough. Jaz shook her head and dug into her jacket pocket. Retrieving a package, which was gift-wrapped and it was about half the size of a shoe box. Jaz looked down at Georgia with sorrowful blue eyes.

"Here, Georgie-girl. This is for you. I'm gonna go home now before Allen comes in,"Jaz muttered, sounding heartbroken. Pale blue eyes appeared shattered and her bottom lip was actually trembling.

"Jazzy, what's this? You don't have to leave right away. He should be gone for at least a couple of hours," Georgia said.

"No, that's fine. I'll see you around, Georgie," Jaz replied, leaning down and giving Georgia a sweet kiss on the cheek. She then let herself out and left Georgia standing there, wondering what in the world just happened.

Brown eyes drifted from the closed door to the window, watching Jaz's car slowly pull away. Once the car was out of sight, her eyes went to the gift in her arms. She could not figure out why Jaz brought her a present. That was not usually Jaz's style. Jaz tended to just make sure she showed Georgia affection and pay for their dates when Georgia did not insist on doing it rather than buy her things.

"What am I missing?" Georgia asked the air.

Moving to the living room, she sat down on the couch and peeled the wrapping paper away from her present with caution. A small wooden box was revealed and there was an envelope taped to the bottom of it. Pulling the envelope away, she could guess that it was a card. She swallowed hard as a lump worked its way into her throat and her chest tightened a bit. Something told her to look in the box before she opened the card or she might never see what was inside.

Tilting the polished wood, opening the box on its hinges, she noticed it was full of large, index-sized cards. Pulling one out, she noticed on the left side there was a little cute cartoon character dressed as a chef that looked suspiciously like her holding a mixing bowl. She was willing to bet that Jaz had drawn the character. The top of the card was cut to where it could be cataloged and whatever was on it could be easily found in the group. Underneath the raised part, written in elegant calligraphy read "Georgie's recipes" and there were lines for her to write down her recipes.

"They're perfect…" Georgia muttered.

Jaz was certainly better than she was when it came to giving gifts, Georgia thought. Jaz went with something both thoughtful and beautiful. It would have been so easy to buy her jewelry, but instead the younger woman got her something that Jaz knew she would enjoy and use.

"But, why?" Georgia asked herself. It was then her attention went to her card. Shaky fingers tore the card open and she took a deep breath before reading it. In plain print were the words "Happy Anniversary." In Jaz's rather decorative and bubbly writing was the message, "This has been the best 6 months of my life, even with the occasional down period. I love you, Georgie, and I plan to love you for a long time. So, I thank you for the wonderful feelings. I can only hope I return them and make you feel the same. Happy Anniversary, sweetheart. I love you."

The card dropped to the floor as soon as Georgia finished reading it. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. Monday was their anniversary. She had forgotten her anniversary.

"Oh, god… How do I even make up for that? She's probably going to want to call this whole thing off now. First, I screw up and start a fight with her when she tells me she loves me. Then, I don't have the guts to say it back. And now, I've forgotten our anniversary. Of course, worst of all to Jaz was that I was with Allen on the day of our anniversary. God, how do I even begin to make up for this?" Georgia pondered aloud, panting from the panic gripping her heart. Nothing came to mind, beyond the obvious-apologizing first and foremost.

Getting up, Georgia went on a frantic hunt for her cell phone. She was not surprised when Jaz did not pick up. She decided to leave a voice mail, figuring even a messaged apology was better than nothing.

"Jazzy, I am so, so sorry. I was just so busy worrying about Allen when I should have been worrying about you too. I promise I will make it up to you. I will never forget our anniversary again. I swear. Please, just give me a chance and I promise I will make it all up to you. I am so sorry, so very sorry," she cried, wiping away tears as she spoke. She wondered if Jaz would even listen to her message, considering how pained and upset the artist was when she left.

When Georgia finished her message, she continued to cry. It felt like she had just lost the best thing in her life and she did not even realize it. She had under-appreciated Jaz and over-valued Allen, she realized. She needed to do something about it, but she was not sure what to do.

"Well, first, I need to buy Jazzy an anniversary gift. Even if she wants to end things, I owe her that much," Georgia decided.

She knew that she needed to get Jaz something thoughtful and useful, like her gift was. There would be no jewelry, clothing, or shoes like she had been giving the taller woman. She needed to get Jaz something that showed she knew Jaz well and cared about her. It actually sounded like it would be a fun shopping trip; if only she had thought of it before forgetting such an important event and possibly pushing Jaz away.

-8-8-8-8-

Jaz sighed as she listened to the first of several apology messages that Georgia left on her phone. She had not answered a call from her girlfriend in a week. She could tell from the messages that Georgia was starting to think that they were over and done with, but Jaz would not go that far. She just needed time and space to erase the agony of just how unimportant she was to the woman that she loved.

The teen was not entirely sure what she should do. Eventually, she would have to call Georgia back or things would be over, which she did not want, even if Georgia did not love her. She would have to say something. So, she decided to pick up the next time that Georgia called her.

"Hey, Georgie," Jaz responded as she answered her phone.

"Hi, Jazzy," Georgia replied, her voice small and full of compunction, almost as if she were tucked into herself.

"What's up?"

"I'm just so happy you're talking to me!"

Jaz sighed and rubbed her head. "Yeah, sorry for ignoring you." She was aware that for Georgia being ignored was just about the worst thing ever. For the pale woman, it was better to have an argument than to be given the silent treatment. Ignoring her meant making her invisible, leaving her alone and lonely. If the silent treatment was to be used, Georgia preferred to be the one doing it.

"I guess I understand why you did it. It was stupid and insensitive of me to forget our anniversary. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you, Jazzy. You mean the world to me, but I haven't been showing it at all lately. I just keep putting you at the bottom of the list, like it's a given that you'll be here. I should always show you how happy I am that you are here and how much I appreciate it."

Jaz grunted. Those were very pretty words, but she had heard similar things from Georgia. Of course, those other words did not come after Georgia forgot an anniversary. An anniversary that obviously did not register to Georgia and probably did not mean much of anything to her until Jaz started ignoring her calls.

"I was hoping you'd let me start making things up to you. I wanted to make you dinner," Georgia proposed, sounding quite shy.

"I like dinner," Jaz commented, trying her best to sound upbeat, but it was so hard. Too hard, actually.

Georgia forced out a chuckle. "I know you do. So, do you accept?"

"When will this dinner be happening?"

"Tonight if you want. I would thoroughly enjoy seeing you tonight and making dinner for you."

"I suppose I could swing that. See you in a couple of hours."

"Sounds good."

"Okay then. Bye."

"Bye, baby."

Jaz disconnected the call and sighed. A gnawing sensation in her stomach told her that she would not enjoy dinner. If her stomach felt any worse, she figured that she might not be able to hold onto dinner. She was tempted to call back and say that she was sick, but she hated to lie like that, especially after she already agreed. Besides, she would have to see Georgia at some point.

"Well, not really. She's out of the way no matter what. But, if I never see her, it is like breaking up and I wouldn't be able to live with that. I love her, no matter how much she hurts me," Jaz said to herself.

Sighing, she rubbed her face and decided to make herself decent enough for dinner. She showered and then threw on some jeans, not feeling up to putting forth an effort for getting dressed up. She then put on a tee-shirt and a button-down shirt on over that. She then marched downstairs and retrieved her coat.

"Little gem, where are you headed?" Maggie called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, little gem, where you headed?" Flint teased, walking into the small foyer to give his sister the once over. "You don't look like you're headed for a fancy night out, but Georgia is the only person that you leave so abruptly for," he commented.

"Shut up," Jaz hissed. "I'm going to see Georgie, Ma."

"Dinner's almost ready, though," Maggie pointed out.

"Georgie is gonna feed me," Jaz answered.

"Oh, you'll be dining on Georgie for the rest of the night," Flint quipped, a lewd smirk on his face.

"Shut up," Jaz repeated, pushing him a little. "She's making me dinner."

"Flint, leave your sister alone," Maggie ordered. Jaz was thankful for the command, not wanting to be taunted about Georgia at the moment.

Flint rolled his eyes, but allowed Jaz to leave without harassing her any further. She rushed out and was off to Georgia's house. For the whole trip, she tried to get excited, talking about how nice it would be to spend time with Georgia. But, it just was not happening for her. She felt like she was being burdened to go and see her girlfriend.

"Relationships shouldn't be like this. Hell, our relationship wasn't like this in the beginning," Jaz murmured. "When did we get to this point? I hope it gets better. I love Georgie and I'm not sure if that'll ever change. Despite our circumstances, she's a fun person to be around, kind, caring, considerate… except toward me anyway. I don't know how to change that. She claims to see it, but I've heard this song and dance before. She's so sorry and then I get a gift and then for a couple of weeks things are fine before the cycle starts again."

Even though she knew how things were, she always hoped for a different outcome. She hoped that one day, she would look back at all of their drama and chalk it up to the fact that they were just starting out. After so much drama though, she was getting tired. Sometimes, just the thought of Georgia exhausted her now. But, she continued to have faith. One day, Georgia would make the right decision and pick her. With luck, it would happen before she dropped dead from this weary feeling. So, this is love, she thought sarcastically.

"Come on in, Jazzy," Georgia grinned, opening the front door after hearing the knocking.

Jaz nodded and stepped inside, so caught up in her own thoughts that she did not even notice that Georgia was wearing a very lovely black dress. The door closed and Jaz stopped when she felt hands on her shoulders. She knew that Georgia was taking her coat, so she shrugged out of it.

"I'm so happy you came," Georgia commented, hanging the coat in the nearby closet.

"Well, you did offer food," Jaz remarked, trying her best to force out a smile. It did not come.

"There is plenty of that," Georgia said with a proud smile, moving toward the kitchen. "You can sit in the dining room, Jazzy. I want to serve you."

Jaz nodded and made her way to the dining room. The room was bathed in candlelight from two candles on the table. Jaz was tempted to blow them out, but sat down and mentally tried to get herself together. Her girlfriend had cooked dinner for her, lit candles for her, and was willing to wait on her for the night. She should be elated! But, for some reason, she just felt like it was foreplay to their next fight.

"What do you want to drink, baby? I bought soda, but there's juice or wine if you're feeling a little adventurous," Georgia called.

"Soda's fine," Jaz replied. Her mother never let anyone in the house drink soda with dinner, so whenever she could do it, it always felt nice. She figured that tiny, almost insignificant thing might pick up her spirit somewhat.

"All right," Georgia said, coming into view with a glass in one hand and a bowl of salad in another.

"Thanks," Jaz said as the start of the meal was placed in front of her. Glancing down, she saw that the salad was covered in her favorite dressing. Maybe Georgie does pay attention to me. The thought put a small smile on her face.

"I'll be out next with biscuits and the main course," Georgia reported.

Jaz nodded and got started on the salad. It was quite delicious, as far as salads went. Georgia had put walnuts in it, which she liked. Unfortunately, a good salad with her favorite dressing was not going to make the pain of a forgotten anniversary go away. It was not going to make her forget how Georgia pushed her away both figuratively and literally when Allen was around. It was not going to close the void slowly growing inside of her.

"And here we are," Georgia said, her voice pulling Jaz out of her thoughts.

Blue eyes went down to see a large steak being eased in front of her. Next to the steak was broccoli covered in melted cheese and rice and peas. A baked potato dripping with buttered was set to the side of the plate. As the aroma wafted up to her nose, Jaz's mouth dropped open.

"I love all of these…" Jaz muttered. It was hard to make a food that she did not like, but there were things that she was partial to. Everything in front of her fell into the latter category.

"I know you do. That's why I made them," Georgia said.

"Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, Jazzy."

Dinner was eaten in silence mostly. Jaz did not feel like talking and it showed whenever Georgia tried to start a conversation. After a while, Georgia gave up on conversing while there was food in front of them. Jaz noted that Georgia seemed a bit uncomfortable by the stillness of their meal, which she thought was just strange. Georgia was, after all, very shy and in front of people would not talk without prompting. It made no sense that she seemed to think they always had to talk, be it a polite conversation or arguing. But, then again, she figured it was only when Georgia felt like something was wrong that the lack of discussion bothered her. That actually seemed healthy, Jaz considered; perhaps it was better than just silently fuming.

"That was great, Georgie," Jaz declared once she finished eating.

"I'm glad," Georgia said and it seemed like she was relieved.

"Cake for dessert?" Jaz asked.

"I thought ice cream…"

"I love ice cream!"

Georgia chuckled. "I know."

"After that, do you think we could have hot chocolate?" Jaz asked, tilting her head to side a little.

"I have to check and see if I have any."

As it turned out, Georgia did have hot chocolate. After they had ice cream, she made some and they went to sit in the living room. For a while, silence continued to reign until Georgia spoke up.

"Jazzy, I am so sorry for the way I've been treating you. I had no idea I could be so inconsiderate and awful. To forget our anniversary…" Georgia shook her head. "I don't have any words for it."

"I'm not going to say it's all right because it's not," Jaz stated bluntly.

"I didn't think it was, especially since you barely said two words at dinner. I'm glad you came and you stayed. When I called, I didn't think you would since you haven't spoken to me in a week."

"I need time to get over stuff. I'm not like you where we can just scream at each other and then you're fine. I need to cool off." Not that she was aware of that fact until she started dating the older woman.

Georgia's brow wrinkled. "Is that what you think? That I like arguing with you?"

"Certainly comes across that way, especially since we're about to walk right into one."

Georgia opened her mouth, as if she was about to reply. Quickly, she then closed her mouth, obviously realizing that Jaz was right. Sighing, she focused on the taller woman.

"It's not that I like arguing, Jazzy. I don't like being pushed around or treated like I'm always wrong or that my opinions don't matter, not that you treat me that way at all. I know you respect my thoughts and opinions. I just like to settle things and come to an understanding. Unfortunately, that tends to take the form of an argument. If we could talk things out like this, I would feel much better."

Jaz nodded. "This one here isn't much to talk about. I think you know exactly what happened."

"And I'm trying to make up for it," Georgia pointed out. She then got up and walked out into the foyer, returning with a box in her hands. "I even got you a present," she said, handing the wrapped package over to the younger woman.

Jaz accepted the box and examined it. For some reason, the gift did not make her feel better. It felt like an insult to her. It was almost like "here's this gift, so you have to forgive me now," which Jaz quite frankly thought was bullshit.

"You know what, I take it back. I don't think you know exactly what happened," Jaz decided.

"I forgot our anniversary," Georgia replied. "And now I am trying to make up for it," she repeated through gritted teeth.

"It's not just about that. You picked Allen, okay. That's what it's about. You picked him."

Brown eyes blinked before a bemused look settled in them. "What do you mean? It was my anniversary with him. You expected me to drop everything with him and be with you? You know I can't do that, Jazzy!"

"Why not? Why the fuck is it so easy to tell me no, but you have to go along with every little thing that asshole says? I bet if he came in right now and told you to throw your hot chocolate in my face, you would. And then later on, you'll cry and apologize to me all the while saying you had no choice. But, that's total bullshit," Jaz proclaimed.

"Now who likes an argument," Georgia accused her.

"No, this isn't an argument, these are the facts. You picked him."

"Jaz, he's my husband and it was our anniversary. I've been with him for years. Years."

Jaz nodded as if she understood, but really she did not give a damn. There just did not seem to be a point in arguing over it. Not tonight. Not when she should be enjoying her lover's company. Eyes turning down, she looked at the gift that she had just been given.

"What is it? It's definitely too big to be jewelry," the artist commented, doing her best to sound amusing.

"I should hope so," Georgia replied, a bit thrown off by the shift, but happy that they avoided yet another argument.

Jaz shook the box and the older woman giggled at her antics. It got worse as she held it to her ear. Georgia laughed even more.

"You don't usually do this with gifts," the shorter female pointed out.

"I actually do it most of the time. It drives my father nuts. He always ends up screaming, 'If you just open the damn thing, you'll see what's in it!' He especially hates when I start sniffing the box," Jaz reported. She never did it with Georgia's gifts because they were pretty predicable.

"You seriously sniff the box?"

"It could be chocolate!" Jaz defended herself.

An elegant ebony eyebrow arched. "Has it ever been chocolate?"

"Just because it's never been chocolate doesn't mean it won't be chocolate at least once. Is this that one time?" Jaz inquired, putting the box under her nose and inhaling deeply. No, it did not smell like chocolate.

"Just open it!" Georgia laughed, swatting at Jaz.

Jaz decided to end the torture and tore open the wrapping paper. Once the gift was revealed, all of her movement halted. Her eyes remained glued to what was in her hands and she gasped.

"Georgie…" Jaz whispered.

"I'm not very good at art, but the man at the art supply store said those were the best markers for your type of work. I had to show him my recipe cards for him to get an idea of what you do," Georgia explained.

"Georgie… these must have cost a fortune…" Jaz said, eyeing the set of a hundred markers and the pack of pens on top of it. A pack of twenty cost over fifty dollars, so she could not image how much the hundred cost along with the black ink pens.

A blush invaded Georgia's cheeks. "You're worth it, Jazzy. You're worth all of it and more."

Jaz wanted to believe it, but found it incredibly hard to do so when just a week ago Georgia had forgotten they had an anniversary. Still, there was no reason to pour salt on the wound now. Instead, she opened up her newest art supplies and inspected them.

"I'm going to use these as soon as I go home!" Jaz declared. "In fact, I'll draw something for you," she informed her lover.

"More of the little chef on my recipe cards?" Georgia asked with a smile.

"You like that, huh?"

"I thought she was cute. She seemed a little lonely, though. Maybe you could draw her some friends?" Georgia requested.

"No problem. You can use them as mascots when you open your own bakery," Jaz suggested.

A sigh escaped Georgia's lips and she got a far away look in her eyes. "I would like that so much. I would love that, actually. I hope it happens soon."

"I'm sure it will. You just have to believe in it."

Those must have been the right words because Georgia threw herself at Jaz, embracing tightly, holding on for dear life. They tipped over, Jaz on her back and Georgia halfway on her. By the time Jaz returned the hug, Georgia had already moved onto kissing. Jaz continued to have to play catch up, as she started returning the kiss, Georgia was caressing her body. Suddenly, she found her hand on Georgia's back, directly on the zipper on her dress.

"I'm not wearing anything underneath this," Georgia whispered.

Jaz groaned deep in her throat. "Tempting…"

"Oh, no, wait, I lied. I am wearing something under this."

"What?" Jaz asked, concentration failing her as Georgia gently ground against her thigh. "Which is it?" the amazon inquired with a whine mixed with a growl.

"You'll have to undress me and find out."

Another groan worked its way out of Jaz's mouth and she found herself needing to know what was underneath the dress. The zipper was practically ripped down and dress pushed off of Georgia's shoulders. Skin was revealed, but it was not until the dress was down by gyrating hips that Jaz found what Georgia was wearing.

"Where did you get a thong from?" Jaz inquired, sitting up a little to look over Georgia's shoulder. The tiny string of the throng seemed to smile up at her.

"Bought it yesterday. Just for you," Georgia answered with an impish look on her face.

"You actually had the guts to go into a lingerie section and buy this?"

"And some other goodies for your eyes only. But, you'll have to wait until later to see them. Now, are you going to interrogate me about my shopping habits all day or do something?" Georgia challenged her.

Jaz growled and flipped Georgia onto her back. Yanking the dress clean off of the older woman, Jaz attacked, attaching her to Georgia's neck with her mouth. Her hands first wandered all over Georgia's torso before settling on two heaving hills and teasing the pink pearls with caresses and pinches.

Georgia moaned loudly and pulled at Jaz's shirt, wanting to get it off. The taller woman sort of slithered out of her clothing before sliding up against Georgia. She settled her body in between Georgia's creamy thighs and started kissing her way down the writhing form beneath her. Quickly, her lips found their way to one treasure as her hand rediscovered its twin. Her tongue darted out of her mouth, tasting all that was on display for her and it caused Georgia to arch her back.

"Jazzy, I've missed your touch so much," Georgia groaned, locking her limbs around the long body above her as if she never wanted to let go.

Jaz did not respond, thinking of nothing more than her desire to make love with Georgia. If she let her brain into things, she knew that she would just take offense to almost anything Georgia said. How can I still be in such a mood when I've got her nipple in my mouth and her body is pretty much coating my stomach with how badly she wants me? She did not have an answer for that.

"I love how you taste," Jaz muttered before switching gems. She was almost certain that she could remain there for the rest of her days.

"There's more…" Georgia panted, rolling her hips against Jaz's abdomen.

"I'll get to that. Right now, I like my little friends." Jaz then switched sides again. She then nipped and bit around the area.

"Ah." Georgia groaned. "Jazzy, careful. Don't leave a mark…"

Jaz pretended not to hear. She was not going to try to leave a mark, but if there was one, she would not mind. She should be able to mark up her girlfriend's body, she thought. She had been able to do it with other girlfriends, so why not Georgia?

"Jazzy, please, no marks," Georgia begged as the nibbles got bolder and harder.

Lips, tongue, and teeth did not seem to be listening, but Georgia was past caring when she felt long fingers stroking her most intimate area. Jaz easily found another gem that had held her attention. She purred with pleasure as the living room was filled with Georgia's whimpers and moans. But, for some reason, those noises were not good enough for Jaz. She wanted more.

"Tell me what you want," Jaz growled, hinting to the answer that she desired.

"You…" Georgia mewed.

"I'm here. What do you want me to do?" A playfully hard bite to the smaller woman's collarbone followed the question.

"Take me…" Georgia felt breathless. It was as if Jaz was everywhere at full force, except one very lonely place.

"How?" Jaz demanded to know.

"How?" Georgia seemed confused.

"How?" Jaz snarled and pushed up against Georgia, giving her a clue of how she should answer.

"Hard…"

An animalistic growl clawed its way from the depths of Jaz's soul and she proceeded to do just as she was asked. Biting Georgia again, she practically jammed her fingers into the writhing female. For a brief moment, she was a bit shocked by her own behavior, but when she realized Georgia was clinging to her and screaming to the heavens, she could only continue. Her fingers slammed into Georgia's body and slender hips always rose to meet them. Her mouth and all of its parts persisted against Georgia's neck and chest and they were answered by Georgia's nails digging deep into her shoulders and back.

Eventually, they were nothing more than panting bodies on the living room floor. Somewhere along the line, Jaz had ended up on her back and Georgia was now resting on top of her. They were both sore, but it was a delightful sore.

"That was incredible," Georgia whispered, her voice unable to go any higher. "I don't think I've ever experienced anything like that. It was simply amazing."

"I'm sure it was considering how loud you were," Jaz pointed out with a light laugh.

"Do you think the neighbors heard?"

"It's possible," Jaz conceded. Georgia had really let loose, but then again, she had done the same. It seemed surreal now that she thought about it.

"I hope they didn't. What time is it?"

Jaz craned her head to find the time somewhere. "Late."

"Late? How late?"

"Past midnight late. We-should-go-to-bed late," Jaz explained.

Georgia nodded and then her expression dropped. "Wait, we can't."

"Why not?"

"Allen will be home tomorrow. I'm not sure what time he'll come in, but we shouldn't chance it," Georgia explained.

Jaz's expression and demeanor dropped. "No, we couldn't have that," she muttered. She could not take the thought of Georgia pushing her away again because he was around. Going home was the wise decision, she told herself, and it was about time she started making wise decisions.

"Jazzy, don't sound like that," Georgia implored.

"Would it be so bad if he knew…" Jaz wondered aloud and then the look of sheer terror on Georgia's face answered that question. "Sorry, just a strange thought."

"You won't tell him, right?" the older woman begged.

"Of course not. I don't want to talk to him about anything, let alone you. I guess I should dressed then. Thanks for the markers and pens again," Jaz said, pushing herself up and giving her lover a kiss.

The kiss seemed to sooth away any hurt feelings that Georgia might have had and she let Jaz leave without a problem. Driving home, Jaz could not help but feel like an idiot. She was used to doing stupid things, but they never made her seem this stupid before. I really do need to start making wise decisions.

-8-8-8-8-

19: Special day

Jaz was going to start an argument, but felt it was necessary. She just wanted to throw the idea out there and see what would happen. She had not banked on it making her miserable. Of course, asking Georgia when she planned to leave Allen seemed like a good idea, just letting Georgia know it was possible. When Georgia looked at her like she had nine heads and all of them were gushing blood, she knew that she should have kept the question to herself.

"You act like it's so simple, Jazzy," Georgia huffed, holding her arms against her chest and moving to the other end of the couch.

"Uh… I'm pretty sure it is. You file for divorce and you move on with your life," Jaz pointed out. She needed to know that eventually things would change. She could not bear going through years of this. It was time for something to happen and for whatever that was, she needed to put the idea out there.

"It's not that easy. You wouldn't understand," Georgia replied, nose in the air as if that would keep them from discussing the matter.

"What the hell wouldn't I understand? I love you and I want to be with you." Jaz was now speaking with her hands, motioning to herself and Georgia. She was sick and tired of how things were. She just wanted to be with Georgia!

"You are with me," the older woman stated.

"No, I'm not. This isn't with you. This is stealing time. I want to be able to come over and be with you whenever the urge overtakes me. I want be able to surprise you with pizza or flowers or just in general anytime. I don't want to have to duck out of here late at night like some criminal-" And the amazon was cut off.

"Oh, you mean when your mom is calling?" Georgia snapped. It was not a taunt, but something to counter any point that she might make about Allen.

"You got a problem with my mom?" the college student inquired with a tense jaw. Nobody, not even Georgie, talks about my ma!

"Only the fact that you go running to her every time she calls. You might as well date your mom with the way you act," Georgia replied with a sneer.

Jaz found herself without a decent comeback. She did run whenever her mother called. She did not see it as a bad thing or something to make fun of, though. She just happened to love and respect her mother and the fact that her mother worried endlessly.

"I see what you're doing, Georgia. You're trying to turn this around and make it about me. I'm not in the mood for it, though. I'm not going to sit and take it either," Jaz declared, climbing to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Georgia asked with a quiver in her voice. Her forehead furrowed with worry lines creasing the center.

"I'm going home. I'm tired of spending time whenever it's convenient for you. I'm tired of making out on the sofa. I'm tired of having to park around the corner if I'm going to come here more than two days in a row. I'm tired of competing with him and losing," Jaz replied with a sigh. She was just tired.

Brown eyes filled with tears. "What are you saying? You're leaving me?" her voice trembled and her bottom lip did the same.

"No. I love you, Georgie. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love someone. I just need some time right now to get my head together." She needed to ruminate on the future of their relationship.

"Jazzy, I wish you could understand."

There was another sigh. "I think I'm starting to understand. I'll see you later." She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to the corner of Georgia's mouth. With that done, she left the house, not even turning back.

-8-8-8-8-

Georgia watched Jaz leave, unsure of what she could do to change the younger woman's mind. For once, she decided to back off. She recalled that Jaz said she often needed space and time to figure things out. Going after her would only make matters worse, as would calling her. So, Georgia was left to sit at home and contemplate what just happened.

Jaz asked her to leave her husband was what just happened. Honestly, the thought had never crossed her mind. She knew that Jaz would not want to hear that. She wished that she could chalk it all up to Jaz being an immature kid, but she knew that would be short-changing Jaz's emotions. Jaz loved her, wanted to be with her, and that was impossible if she remained tied to Allen.

Unfortunately, she could not see herself leaving him. Yes, he had his faults and they got along quite miserably most of the time, but she just could not bring herself to walk away. He was her first love, the man that got her out of her shell in college, and was infinitely patient with her once upon a time. He wanted to take care of her and be a man for her… or at least that was what he always said.

"Somewhere inside of him is the man I fell in love with. He's just busy with his business now and stressed. I can't just divorce him. It would be like abandoning him in his time of need. What would that make me?" Georgia asked herself.

Sighing, she decided to put it out of her mind. With luck, Jaz would not bring it up again and they could move on. Now that she was not going to focus on that, she turned on the television to make sure her mind stayed away from that subject. She found an old, black and white, slapstick comedy to watch, occupying her time until someone, be it Allen or Jaz, returned to keep her company.

-8-8-8-8-

Jaz collapsed on her bed and wished that she could just automatically fall asleep, but it was not working. Her mind was stuck on recalling the way Georgia looked when she suggested that she leave Allen. She felt like things would have went better if Georgia just slapped her instead of giving her that crazy look and then treating her like a child.

"Always like a child. Why do I do this to myself?" Jaz asked herself. Because you love her, idiot.

Yes, she was an idiot, an idiot in love with someone who was constantly and consistently hurting her. In that manner, she could understand why Georgia would not leave Allen, but then that meant that Georgia loved Allen and not her. The thought made her want to vomit and left pains clenching her chest. Thankfully, she was saved from having to think about it by her phone ringing.

"Hey, Robbie," Jaz answered the call.

"Whoa! I didn't expect you to answer!" Robin shouted.

"Yeah, well, I'm full of surprises," Jaz replied, trying her best to sound lighthearted. Her best was not good enough.

"You don't sound too good, sweetie. Shouldn't you be buried nose deep into some sweet Georgia peach? I would have thought she monopolized your birthday weekend," Robin commented.

"I'm not sure she's aware it's my birthday weekend."

"What? Come on!" Robin said in disbelief. "She has to know! I mean, you've been going out six months. You know her birthday, right?"

Jaz sighed. "Of course. March 5th," she answered. That was too easy, but she doubted that Georgia knew her birthday at all. If she did, she had not said anything.

"I'm sure she knows your birthday. I'm really surprised, though. I figured she would have grabbed you up today and just held you hostage until you had to go to school on Monday."

"You sound like you've done it before," Jaz teased. She would like to have a girlfriend who would do something like that.

"Oh, I have. My man couldn't even walk when I was done with him."

Jaz laughed. "And you could?"

"Hell, no! It was wonderful! My momma kicked my ass when I came home, but it was still wonderful!"

There was another laugh. "My mom would probably hunt me down if I did that. I can see her now, banging on the door of a motel room after the sun came up and I wasn't in bed at home."

"She'd probably drag you out by your ear while you're butt-ass naked too!" Robin laughed.

"And then scold me for being so rude as to not driving my date home."

"Oh, yeah, she would get you for that. Maggie is a hoot, though. I'm sure she's going to force you guys all out on your birthday."

"Yeah, of course. You guys know you can come," Jaz said.

"You know we probably will. Hell, I'm signing up already. But, I'm calling to find out if you're free tonight or Saturday."

Jaz shrugged. "Both."

"And you're sure Georgia doesn't have anything planned for you?"

"Nothing that I know about."

"Well, you up for drunken foolishness at all of your favorite clubs?"

"Sounds promising. Is food involved?" Jaz inquired.

"Trust me, Jaz, we know if we have you and Cocoa out for more than two hours we're obligated to feed you. I swear, we'd go broke with you guys if we hung out all night like we do on birthday nights."

"Didn't we run out of money one time because Peach's birthday fell during spring break?"

Robin groaned at the memory. "I'm still throwing up over those chili dogs."

"They tasted fine to me."

"You don't even taste food! You just inhale it, you cow!"

"I taste everything and if you don't watch your mouth, I'll prove it!" Jaz countered.

A light chuckle echoed through the phone. "You lesbians are all alike, trying to turn the rest of us upstanding, innocent young women in sexual deviant lesbians."

"Don't you know all women are lesbians underneath it all?"

"HA! You tell Mitch that and see if you don't get a black eye!" Robbie cackled.

"First off, Mitch isn't a woman. Second off, there's no way she could reach that high!"

Robin laughed more. "You know, you've got me there." She paused and there was some yelling in the background. "Damn it, I've got to go get my little brothers before they kill each other. I'll see you tomorrow, beanstalk. Be ready for food and drink!"

"I'll starve myself for the rest of the day."

"Please, don't! I need to be able to pay for classes next semester!"

Jaz chuckled and disconnected the call. Surprisingly enough, she felt good, almost sanguine. She was looking forward to spending her birthday weekend with her friends and then having dinner out with her family on her birthday; both customs for as long as she could remember. She honestly did not care if Georgia remembered her birthday or not.

"Nuts to Georgie!" Jaz declared with a grin.

-8-8-8-8-

Georgia was busy stuffing boxes under the guestroom bed and praying that Allen would leave already. She had never been more eager for him to be going on a business trip than she was now and for some reason he seemed to be lingering around the house. Or maybe it was her imagination. It did not matter, she wanted him to be gone, so she could call Jaz and make arrangements for them to get together soon.

Eventually, she got Allen out the door. He seemed to eye her a little suspiciously, so she was certain that he knew something was up. She was past caring, though. She needed to talk to Jaz and hopefully set them on a path of mending their relationship. She was not sure when things started to go askew, but she was certain it was her fault. She needed to atone.

After several rings, Georgia was scared that Jaz might be ignoring her again. They had not parted on the best terms, a running theme with them it seemed. But, after a while, Jaz picked up.

"Hey, Georgie-girl. I wasn't expecting to hear from you today," Jaz said, sounding as if she was moving around wherever she was.

"No? Why not?" Georgia asked curiously. She considered it might be because they had left things badly the last time they saw each other. Or was it just she who left things badly?

"I dunno. I know Allen just got back from a trip and everything, so I thought you might squeeze in some time with him."

Georgia frowned. "You know it's rare that he and I spend time together."

"Is it? If you say so."

"Jazzy," Georgia growled, ready to huff and puff, but she quelled her temper. Silently, she told herself that Jaz was just upset and she sometimes lashed out when she was upset. There was no need to start a fight. "Look, I was calling because I want to spend time with you. How about we go out to dinner or I cook something for you?" she proposed. A weekend of pampering Jaz should be a suitable beginning to requite Jaz's affection.

"Sorry, Georgie. I have plans tonight."

"Plans?" Georgia echoed, certain that she sounded like quite the idiot.

"Yes, plans. Robbie and everybody are taking me out to my favorite clubs. I haven't gone clubbing with them in a while, so I'm ready to go tear it up," the younger woman remarked with a laugh.

"Clubbing?" Georgia imagined bodies gyrating against her lover and felt not just jealousy, but also envy. She would like to dance with Jaz, but ever since they became lovers, she was hyper sensitive and aware about what they did in public. None of her friends were over thirty, so it was very possible that they could be at a club and they would see her with Jaz. For some reason, she felt like anyone that knew her would know that she was having an affair the second they saw her with Jaz.

"You can come, of course," Jaz offered.

"Um… I would like to…"

"But?"

"I just don't think it's a good idea. You know I don't like clubs that much," Georgia pointed out.

"You didn't seem to mind before," Jaz countered.

"No, it was a good one time experience, but I don't like the idea of it. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable and I don't want to risk getting drunk again."

"Why? Do you think I would do something to you when you're drunk? Like Allen did?" Jaz inquired, some fire in her tone.

"You know I don't think that! I just don't like the idea of being drunk. I trust you, Jazzy. I know you wouldn't do anything to me or let anything happen to me. I trust you, Jazzy. I trust you," Georgia whispered, unable to cover up the hurt that she felt because Jaz did not seem to think that she trusted the artist.

Jaz sighed. "Sorry for biting your head off there. Are you sure you don't want to go? It's a two-day party and they're treating me to all the food I can eat."

"Yikes! Did they hit the lottery?" Georgia teased.

There was a chuckle on the other end of the line. "I think they're cutting me off once I eat my own body weight. That or they know something I don't know."

"And you said for two days?"

"Yes, they have kidnapped me for today and tomorrow. My family owns me on Sunday, though," Jaz explained.

Georgia pouted and was unable to keep the expression out of her voice. "Oh. I had hoped I could see you this weekend. I've got birthday gifts for you…"

There was silence for a long moment. "I'm not sure I can make it. When birthdays are on weekends, me and my friends get crazy and my mom always claims birthday rights. She did give birth to us, she would say. So, Sunday I belong to her and my family. But, you can come with us clubbing. Flint is coming. You could meet him."

Georgia thought about it for a few seconds. She doubted that she wanted to meet Jaz's brother. He would know she was older and married, so he would probably assume that she was taking advantage of his younger sister. Georgia would not be comfortable in a crowded club anyway. Jaz's brother and friends would more than likely keep her occupied, which would make things worse for Georgia. She would feel ignored and uncomfortable.

"To be honest, Jazzy, I was hoping for some time alone with you," Georgia confessed.

"Sorry, but I've already agreed to this. I can't just back out," Jaz replied.

"And you agreed to the whole weekend?"

"Yup."

"So, I won't see you at all this weekend?" Her voice was plaintive.

The tone seemed to go unnoticed by the artist. "You're free to come hang out with us at any time. I'm not stopping you."

"I understand that," Georgia said with a sigh. "I suppose I feel disappointed in myself. I was going to surprise you for your birthday. I didn't expect you to be taken for the whole weekend."

"Yes, well, I have friends and family too," Jaz said. The response sounded suspiciously like a snap. Apparently, Jaz was still upset with her. Georgia wondered if it was possible that Jaz had purposely agreed to have her weekend monopolized.

"I understand that…" Georgia's voice was small even to her own ears. Agony tore through her as she considered that Jaz might actually be pushing her away. "Maybe Monday then?"

"We'll have to see. I have classes and work on Monday."

"Okay…" That was almost a whisper, but Jaz did not react to it.

"Well, I need to get ready. Later, Georgie-girl."

"Bye…" The call was disconnected and Georgia began to cry. She could sense in her heart that something was wrong, more so than she thought. Never before had Jaz left no room for her in Jaz's schedule, especially some time alone.

Flinging herself on the couch, Georgia wondered what she was going to do. She had planned for Jaz's birthday with the hopes of making up with Jaz. Now, she felt like she was being pushed away, which let her know that she had screwed up way more than she had first assumed.

"Am I being punished for something? For not leaving Allen? That's ridiculous. She can't honestly expect me to leave Allen just like that. These sorts of things take time and I have to be certain it's over between he and I. A few fights shouldn't mean it's over. Once his business gets underway, I'm sure things will get better. But, then again, what will happen to Jazzy?" Georgia wondered aloud.

She had not thought about that before, but she was certain that Jaz thought about it all the time. Did I think we would just go back to being friends? That would be nice. Nice, I suppose, but would I really want that? She did not know. She felt like her answer to the question should be "absolutely," but she did not feel that in her heart.

"If only things could stay like this…" Georgia thought, but then again, if things stayed the same, she would end up strangling Allen and then Jaz would probably strangle her. "No, this is way too exhausting to continue. But, I need to do something. I can't just lose Jazzy."

Tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. She did not know what to do. She hoped that something came to mind before she lost Jaz.

-8-8-8-8-

Jaz stared at her phone for a long time after she ended her call with Georgia. She was surprised that Georgia had remembered her birthday and had actually planned to surprise her. She was tempted to call her friends and bail on them in order to spend time with Georgia, but her fingers refused to make such a call.

She always went running to Georgia, always. Well, it was time to stop. Georgia never ran to her. She would like to be chased a little bit. She would like to find out that she had some value beside her talent at making Georgia orgasm on a regular basis. She wanted to find out that she was needed, not just wanted as a stand-in when Allen was overbearing or gone.

Also, she had been putting her friends off to be with Georgia for a long time. Even before they started dating, she would pick Georgia over her other friends. Well, it was time to give back to the people that were always there for her. The people that would always be there for her, no matter what.

"Time to do some partying. Hang out with my best friends, eat until my stomach hurts, drink until I can't stand up anymore, and dance until they have to drag me out of the club," Jaz declared, marching out of her bedroom.

"Ready to go, Jaz-butt?" Flint inquired. Internally, he chuckled about how they were dressed similarly. They both had on button-down shirts with matching ties; his was blue and hers was maroon with the same embroidery design. They had on black slacks; his were baggier than hers. She had on sneakers while he was wearing dress shoes.

"Born ready, little big brother," Jaz replied, patting him on the shoulder.

"We gonna pick some chicks and have wild monkey sex."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Totally not part of the plan on my part. I'm here for the drinking and eating part of the evening," Jaz informed her brother, who it seemed had thought too hard on their outing.

"What? Come on, Jaz. You know you and me always pick up chicks together when we go out. Why's this any different?"

"Because I'm with Georgie," Jaz reminded him.

Flint shook his head. "Jaz-butt, do you think she makes that same argument when her husband is home? Did she even tell you that when you let your desires be known?"

Jaz frowned. "What's your point, Flint?"

"My point is we need to bond and we do that best when getting women together. Now, you're not married to Georgie. In fact, she's married to someone else entirely, so it's not like you would be cheating on her. Besides, it's just fun. There doesn't have to be wild monkey sex, even though you might need some of that. You haven't been yourself lately. You're not as happy or just cheerful like you used to be. Not as many smiles or your great stupid decisions. Nothing," he explained, his voice laced with concern. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him in a hug.

"I'm fine," she lied, voice cracking.

"No, you're not. But, hopefully, tonight and tomorrow can get the old Jaz back," he stated, dragging her down the stairs and out the door. "Don't wait up!" he called to their folks.

Of course, it was a given that their parents, at the very least their mother, would wait up. Jaz hated to think about the state that she and her brother would be in when they finally returned home, but their parents were used to it. As long as they did not end up in jail or in the hospital, their parents would chalk it up to them being "young, dumb, and full of come"; their father's own words to describe both of them.

They met up with Jaz's other friends and the adventure began. First, the pack had to be fed. After that, they were off in search of merriment. They came to their first club and broke off from each other, the siblings making their way to the dance floor. They easily found partners to grind against.

"You see that giant over there?" Flint asked the girl he was with as he nodded toward Jaz. His dance partner nodded. "It's her birthday and she would love it if you danced with her while she was still dancing with your friend," he said and then flashed her the most adorable grin.

Jaz noticed her brother's expression and was not surprised when his partner was dancing against her. She accepted the silent offer and danced with both women, smiling as they moved against her. It was not the last time that it would happen that night. She continued to just accept.

Drinks came as easily as women did and Jaz accepted those too. That was pretty much the night. It was a damned good time had by all.

"Next year, we're going to get you some lap dances," Flint remarked with a chuckle, patting his sister on the shoulder.

"We got her those," Cocoa pointed out, holding the birthday girl up. He was barely able to stay on his feet, but knowing that Jaz was depending on him to make sure her head did not meet the pavement was enough to keep him standing.

"I meant in a real strip club. Not by some chicks just happy to stick their tits in Jaz-butt's face," Flint pointed out. He then glanced at his sister. "Although that was fun too."

"I don't think it mattered to her. Good thing she was drunk or we would've been reminded about how she's 'dating' Georgia and all that crap," Robin commented.

"I feel so sorry for her," Mitch said, getting some very surprised stares.

"How drunk are you? You feel sorry for Jaz?" Peach asked to be sure.

"Of course, I do. We butt heads a lot, but she's my friend and she deserves much more than being a mistress. She needs a real girlfriend to spoil and to be spoiled in return instead of being some dirty little secret. That's not her style. Jaz is out there with everything she does and I know she'd like to be out there with Georgia, but she can't be because Georgia's married," Mitch sneered.

"She's under the impression that if she tries hard enough Georgia will leave her husband and then they can be a real couple," Flint informed them, even though they already knew that.

"I forget that Jaz's an idiot," Mitch remarked with a light laugh.

"My Georgie will come to me…" Jaz grumbled, letting everyone know she was somewhat coherent.

"Is that why she came out with us? Because she's your Georgie?" Mitch inquired with a scoff, rolling her eyes.

"You know, we were heading home, but if you still remember Georgia, we might need to keep this party going," Robin commented.

"More lap dances!" Peach cheered. The others were in agreement with that and went off in search of more merrymaking.

The party had to wind down eventually as the sun crawled into the sky and morning turned into afternoon. Jaz and Flint returned home and fell into bed, planning to sleep until the evening when they had to go out. They got what they wanted. They were fresh and ready for dinner with their parents, which went well. Jaz decided that it was a good birthday weekend.

-8-8-8-8-

Jaz sat in her car, which was parked in the lot at her school. She had finished with her classes for the day and now she was torn as to what she should do. Should she go home or finally go see Georgia?

She had been reluctant to go see her girlfriend, even though Georgia had birthday gifts for her. It was just that she could not trust Georgia to not bring her mood down. Besides, thinking about Georgia made her think about what her brother and friends said. She could only wonder what seeing Georgia would bring to mind.

"Well, I have to see her sooner or later. I'll start going through withdrawal if I don't," she teased herself. Despite the fact that she had a lot of questions about her relationship with Georgia, she still loved her and still delighted in seeing the older woman. Yes, things could be better, but they could be worse too, she reasoned.

So, she decided to go see Georgia. She considered that being away for a while had left Georgia to realize that she might mean something to the older woman. Maybe Georgia had an idea of how much she disliked being without Jaz in comparison to being without Allen. The short absence might have helped Georgia to start seriously considering leaving her husband. Or so Jaz hoped anyway.

She called, just to give Georgia the heads' up that she was coming. She did not get the overly enthusiastic response that she would have liked, but Georgia still welcomed her over. She was greeted with a small kiss as soon as she was in the house.

Jaz pulled Georgia in for a hug, wanting to hold the smaller woman for just a few seconds. She breathed in the sweet scent of Georgia and found herself comforted, but also pained. She missed the aroma terribly, but it reminded her of what was not hers.

"I'm glad you decided to come by, Jazzy," Georgia said.

"Yeah, sorry for not being by, but sometimes things happen, you know?" Jaz pointed out, as if that made any sense to their situation. She had not come by before now because she was upset and somewhat frightened. It seemed like every time she stepped into the house, she was reminded that Georgia was with Allen and was staying with Allen rather than coming with her.

"I suppose. Happy belated birthday, sweetheart," Georgia said. "I wish you had called sooner. I would've made you that birthday dinner I promised."

"Sorry about that. I didn't know I was going to come, actually. I just got out of class and thought I might go home and crash, but here I am instead," the taller woman pointed out, shrugging. For the first time in a long time, she felt awkward and from what she could tell, Georgia felt the same because her hands were fidgeting.

"Well, I am glad you came. I should get your birthday gifts. You can wait in the living room if you want."

Jaz shrugged again and Georgia rushed off. The artist went into the living room and flopped down on the couch. Taking a deep breath, she thought about her birthday, which lead her to think about her friends. They believed that she was an idiot for having faith in Georgia, having faith that Georgia would eventually end up with her. Are they right? Am I an idiot?

"Here we go," Georgia said, coming in with a stack of boxes.

"Whoa. All of these are for me?" Jaz asked curiously.

"Of course. It was your birthday, after all," the older woman pointed out. She sat down next to Jaz and eased the boxes onto Jaz's lap. "Please, open them."

Jaz wasted no time tearing into the gifts, opening the boxes with a smile on her face. She was not sure why she expeditiously tore into the gifts, not bothering to savor them as she usually would. There were clothes and art supplies, which made Jaz extremely happy. She was about to lean over and kiss Georgia, desiring to show her appreciation, but Georgia's phone suddenly rang.

"It's Allen," Georgia said with a frown. She answered the call, though, getting off of the sofa. "Hello," she said, easing out of the room.

Jaz sighed, trying not to let sorrow overwhelm her. Turning her attention to her gifts, she looked at the shirts that Georgia bestowed her with. She could always use new clothing, which Georgia was very aware of. She was happy to get the presents at an appropriate time. The moment would be short lived.

"Jazzy, sorry, but I think you should go home now," Georgia said, returning to the room.

"What? Why? I just got here," Jaz pointed out in a bewildered tone.

"I know, but Allen is on his way home and you know how annoying he could be when he comes in and you're here," Georgia explained.

A frown sliced through Jaz's visage. "So, I need to slip out the back because your husband's coming home."

"Jazzy, it's not like that," Georgia tried to plead with her lover and reach out to Jaz. The taller female stepped away.

"Of course not. We should just make everything perfect for when Allen comes home to make your life a living Hell," Jaz proclaimed.

"Jazzy!"

"What! Why are you huffing at me like I'm the one with the problem? I want to spend time with you and you act like it's something so wrong!" the amazon barked. She would have been surprised at how she was raising her voice and who she was raising her voice to, but she was beyond caring.

"Because you know how Allen is when he shows up. I don't want to go through that! I don't want the day to be a total mess!" Georgia countered.

"Too late! Why the hell can't you just leave him? What's the problem?" Jaz importuned.

"I already told you it's not that simple!"

"Why not?" Jaz hollered, folding her hands across her chest and glaring down at Georgia.

"It just isn't. Jazzy, can we not talk about this now? Allen will be home soon," Georgia's tone was begging.

"It's always about him," Jaz grumbled, grabbing her coat and shrugging it on. She marched to the door.

"Jazzy, your gifts," Georgia pointed out.

For a moment, Jaz was tempted to tell Georgia to shove the gifts up her ass, but her mouth could not say that. Instead, she collected her presents and left without a word more. She did not even give Georgia a kiss goodbye.

"It's always about Allen. Do I even matter?" Jaz asked herself when she was safe in her car.

The college student went home, wondering just what the hell she was doing. She was hurting herself, she realized. Being with Georgia was starting to become constant pain with only little moments of pleasure. It was also starting to become quite clear that Georgia was not going to leave her husband. She and Georgia would never be a proper couple.

"Does she even care? I'm more like a little puppy she can summon when she's lonely. I can't even stick around when I want to. I can't show up whenever I want to. I can't do anything that I want to unless Allen isn't around," Jaz growled to herself.

Jaz silently admitted to herself that she desired more than what she was getting from Georgia. Yes, she was in love with Georgia, but right now, love was tantamount to pain. Love equaled being a joke to everyone that knew her. Love meant being a replacement for a jackass when he was not around. It was a disturbing thought.

"How did things come to this?" Jaz asked the air. She looked around her bedroom, as if expecting to see clues.

Nothing came to mind as she took in her meager belongings. She looked down at the gifts that Georgia had just given her and for some reason she was appalled with having them. Flinging them to the other side of the room, she found hot tears pouring down her face. Throwing herself on her bed, she wept, gut-wrenching sobs ripping through her long frame.

"Why am I not good enough? Why doesn't she want me? Am I so awful that she'd rather be with a man that treats her like an object than being with me?" Jaz pondered as she soaked her pillow with tears of sorrow and aggravation.

She just could not understand it and she doubted that she would. She was so good to Georgia and all she wanted was for Georgia to act like her girlfriend. Georgia was her girlfriend, after all… right? She could not help thinking about what her friends had said when they took her out on her birthday, how she was Georgia's dirty little secret. They were not girlfriends according to her friends and she was finally inclined to agree.

"If we were girlfriends, I'd be able to take her out anytime I wanted and the only thing holding her back would be her. She could tell me no based on what's going on with her, not what's going on with fucking Allen. Why the hell is he always a factor in shit? Oh, yeah, she's married to the fucker and won't leave him. She'd never think to push him away, but it's fine to do with me. Fine to tell me to leave and start fights with me because I love her. And then, to make up for all of the bullshit she puts me through, she'll buy me an expensive gift because I'm a stupid bitch that can be bought. Fuck, I feel so dirty just thinking about it. I'm like a fucking mistress," Jaz growled.

Blue eyes were wide as soon as the word left her mouth. She was a mistress. She was Georgia's mistress!

"We're not girlfriends. I'm just the woman on the side. Fuck…" Jaz groaned, wiping her face. "How the hell did I let this happen? Why the hell did I think this was a good idea? What the fuck is wrong with me for thinking this could end any way aside from badly? Everyone knew. Everyone told me. Why the hell did I do this? Who the fuck fucks around with a married woman and actually expects her to leave her husband, especially for another woman?"

A quiver shot through her stomach and she had to race to the bathroom. The retching sound echoed throughout the house and the distressed sobbing that followed it did the same. She was not surprised when there was a gentle rapping at the door.

"Yeah?" Jaz croaked out.

"Jaz, you okay?" her father inquired.

"Not really," she groaned, too distraught to even lie.

"Anything I can help with?" Jeremy asked.

"No, you already tried to help and I was too stupid to listen."

Outside of the bathroom was silent for a second. "Georgia problems?" he asked.

"Uh-huh."

"Should I just leave you alone or do you want to talk about it?"

"… I'm sorry…" Jaz mumbled, eyes tearing up again. She had disappointed her parents so much in the past few months. Again, she felt disgusted with herself and her insides seemed to agree by tying themselves in knots. I'm so fucking stupid!

"I couldn't hear that."

"I'm sorry!" she shouted, climbing to her feet. Going to the sink, she rinsed out her mouth and washed her face. Taking a deep breath, she walked to the door, ready to face her father. When she opened the door, she could imagine how her face looked based on the way his expression dropped.

"Jasper…" Jeremy whispered.

"Dad, I don't know what to do…" Jaz whimpered, rubbing her eye like a lost child.

"Jasper, what's wrong? What happened with Georgia?" he asked, concern and compassion all over his demeanor. His dark brown eyes implored her to talk to him, which actually caused more grinding in her guts.

"I was wrong. I went into this thing trying to break up a marriage. I'm a bad person and I'm full of misery now," Jaz hiccuped.

Jeremy sighed. "Jaz, you're not a bad person. Unfortunately, you went into a bad situation, thinking you could improve it. You fell in love with Georgia long before you started the relationship. You were just trying to make yourself and your beloved happy. I think you've discovered that your beloved isn't interested in your version of happiness, though."

Sniffling, she felt ready to burst into tears again. "Do you think that?" she asked, her voice getting caught up in her throat.

"I think you think that," Jeremy said, poking his daughter in the chest with his index finger.

"Well, she's not leaving her husband and she's always fighting with me over stupid things. I just want to make her happy. Why doesn't she let me do that?" Jaz asked, complete and total bemusement scrunching up her face.

Taking a deep breath, he then got into his explanation, attempting to say the right thing and make her feel better. "There could be any number of reasons, but the biggest one could be that she's scared. Sometimes, change can be scary, even if the person knows that the change could be the best thing that ever happened to them. When I was dating your mom, I had to do a lot to try to get her just to visit me in the States when I couldn't make it back to Greece for her. It wasn't that she didn't love me or want to be with me, but all she knew was Greece. She was scared to leave there, even though she loved me and wanted to be with me. It took time and persistence to get her to leave her comfort zone and then she ended up here, loved it enough to stay."

Jaz's brow wrinkled more so than ever before. "You saying I should fight harder to break up a marriage?"

"I'm saying you shouldn't give up on the person you love. Yes, it's a shame that she's married and normally I wouldn't think to tell you to chase someone married. But, I'm not even going to tell you to chase Georgia."

"Then what should I do?"

"You chase her enough as it is and run whenever she asks. Let her see what life is like without you, but also let yourself see what life is like without her. Maybe you will be happier or maybe you won't. Maybe it'll be the push that she needs. When your mom was still in Greece, all my coaxing ultimately didn't mean much if she didn't want to see me. Granted, I wasn't away from her by choice, but it was the fact that she wanted me that pushed her over the edge. Yes, the fact that I showed a lot of interest helped, but the only thing that could get her moving in the end was herself. Georgia needs to make steps toward you and if she doesn't, you'll figure out that you're better off not seeing her."

Jaz nodded. "I do run after her all the time."

"Well, by my count, you've done all the coaxing you can. Now, it's up to her to see if she wants you bad enough to make that jump or if you need to move on with your life."

There was a short sniffle and Jaz rubbed her eyes again. "Thanks, Dad. I can't believe you're actually giving me advice about this."

He sighed. "Baby girl, I don't approve of you dating a married woman, no. But, I know you didn't start out that way or even set out to do it. You fell in love and you pursued that. We don't control who we fall in love with. Plus, you set out to make your beloved happy. I don't approve of how you did it, but I can't be mad at you for trying to make Georgia's life better. If she can't appreciate all that you've done for her, you don't need her in your life."

"I still can't believe you're giving me advice on this."

"You're not a bad person, Jaz. You're just how you always are, young, dumb, and full of come. Added to that, you're in love. Stupid things always follow that recipe," Jeremy remarked.

A smile worked its way onto Jaz's face. It meant a great deal to hear her father tell her that she was not a bad person for what she did. She was in love and love hurt. Now, she had to find out if it was all worth the pain.

-8-8-8-8-

20: Have your cake

Georgia was sitting on her sofa, staring at her cell phone. She was trying to will it to ring in order to avoid making a call herself. She had not spoken to Jaz in a couple of weeks and had not seen Jaz since giving the artist her birthday gifts. She knew the moment Jaz left that day that something was wrong, but she had not guessed that something was so wrong that Jaz would ignore her completely.

"Well, not completely. I'm just too scared to pick up the phone and call her. She might not answer after all. Is she just mad or does she hate me now because I won't leave Allen?" Georgia pondered aloud.

She did not want to call to find out that Jaz was actually fed up with her and done with her. She was well aware that she caused Jaz an abundance of stress in her life, but much of it was not done by design. In fact, she would say that their current problem was Jaz's fault. Jaz was the one that wanted her to leave Allen. Jaz was the one being pushy and unreasonable.

"What would my parents think if I suddenly left Allen for a girl six-and-a-half years my junior, still in school, delivers pizza for a living, and living at home with her parents?" Georgia muttered, shaking her head. No, that certainly would not go over well with her folks.

Of course, it was not fair to consider her parents after she knew what Jaz had gone through with her parents. Jaz told her about how disappointed her parents were because she had gone after a married woman, but Jaz did not let that hold her back. Jaz was much more courageous than she was, Georgia considered.

"All the more reason to call. I can be brave too," Georgia insisted, but she did not feel that in her gut. If she was really brave, she would have picked up the phone a long time ago, her brain pointed out. Oh, yeah? She snatched up her phone and called Jaz before she lost her nerve.

"Hey," Jaz's voice came through. She sounded tired… or maybe it was fed up. Georgia was not too sure.

"Hey, Jazzy. How's it going?" Georgia asked.

"Studying for finals and crap like that. How's it going with you?"

"I would feel a lot better if you came to see me," Georgia replied.

"Can't. Studying for finals."

Georgia made a small noise. "I guess I understand that. Maybe after you're done with finals and everything."

"We'll see. I need to go. I have two finals in one day and I need to be ready for them," Jaz said.

"Oh. Okay. Good luck."

"Thanks. Bye."

Georgia bid Jaz farewell and sighed as she put her phone down. While the call eased her nerves somewhat, it also made matters worse. While Jaz was obviously talking to her, it seemed forced and clipped. There was something wrong, but Jaz probably was not ready to talk about it yet.

"I'll give her time. Maybe she's just stressed over finals," Georgia tried to assure herself. It seemed logical enough.

Georgia accepted that and tried to make the most of her time alone. She called Jaz everyday, wanting to invite her over, but Jaz was still studying for finals. For every phone call, Jaz sounded the same as she did in the first one. It was almost as if it were a chore for her to talk to Georgia.

After a week of that, Georgia was confident that she could see Jaz again because finals had to be over. She just hoped that Jaz's mood had improved. She had to wait a week after that because Allen was around, but now she was certain that Jaz had free time. There would be no more excuses.

"Hey," Jaz answered her phone.

"Hey, Jazzy," Georgia said.

"What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over today," Georgia proposed, hope lacing her tone.

"I don't think I can. I've got work in a little while and I'm going up to my school to see my adviser again. I need to try for my internship again," Jaz explained.

"Oh." Georgia was unable to keep the disappointment out of her voice. "When can I see you again? It's been almost a month."

"I'm around. I just have things to do. I have a life too, you know."

"I never said you didn't. I just want to be part of that life, Jazzy."

"Do you?" The skepticism practically seeped through the phone there.

"Of course I do. What's the problem, Jazzy? Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you. You know where I am most of the time. If not, you can call me and find out where I am. You can be part of my life," Jaz informed her, which seemed a little weird.

"Are you saying I'm not part of your life now?" Georgia asked, not totally sure she understood.

"You're on the outskirts. I think you like it there. I'm not sure if I like it anymore, though."

Georgia swallowed nervously. "What are you saying, Jazzy?"

"I'm just saying that I don't like you on the outskirts of my life. I don't like anyone there. You're not a dirty little secret to me. I want my friends to know you. I want my family to know you. I want to know you want to be there. I'm not getting that vibe from you."

"What are you saying?" she repeated.

"What I just said."

"Is this something that we should talk about face-to-face?" Georgia requested.

"There's nothing to say that hasn't been said already, but I suppose we can talk about it face-to-face. Is tomorrow good?" Jaz suggested.

Anxiety gnawed at Georgia's belly, letting her know that she probably did not want to have this talk. Unfortunately, she knew it was unavoidable. Besides, she wanted to see her Jazzy too.

"Tomorrow is good. When should I expect you?"

"How about you meet me for breakfast? We can go out to eat," Jaz said.

"Out?"

"Yes, out. The opposite of staying in. We used to do that quite a bit if you remember."

Georgia sighed. "I know. I know. Where would you like to eat?"

Jaz gave her the information and then bid her farewell. Georgia sighed as she put her phone down. So, she was going out with Jaz tomorrow for breakfast. It had been quite a long time since they went out. Once she figured out that her friends might possibly see her out with Jaz, she had ceased to come up with restaurants that she wished to try with the taller woman and shows that she wanted to see.

"I'm not brave at all," Georgia muttered with sorrow in her voice. Wiping her eyes of unshed tears, she tried to quell the sense of dread rising in her. "I don't want to lose Jazzy…"

The next day came much sooner than Georgia desired, but she could not stop it. She dressed as nicely as she could without having everyone stare or guess that she was on a date with Jaz, even though she doubted that it was a date. She just wanted something to keep Jaz's attention, which would hopefully keep Jaz around.

Grabbing her purse, she heard a honk, letting her know that her cab was there. Jaz had not offered to pick her up, which she knew was a bad sign. When she arrived at the restaurant, Jaz was already there, sitting by the window. Trying to steel herself, Georgia took a deep breath before swaying over to Jaz. The younger woman did not even seem to notice.

"Hey, Jazzy," Georgia said as she slid into the chair opposite the artist.

"Hey, Georgie. You look nice," Jaz noted.

A small blush followed the generic compliment. "Thanks. You look good too," the older woman noted. There was something different about Jaz, but she was not sure what it was. Jaz's complexion, always sort of a dusty tan, seemed to glow a little now. It was as if she was healthier or something.

"Do I?" Jaz looked down at herself. She was just wearing a button-down shirt with some horses on it and a pair of jeans. "If you say so."

"Well, I do. So, you wanted to meet, so we can talk," Georgia pointed out. She just wanted to get the talk out of the way. She also wanted to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible so that no one that she knew spotted her with Jaz. She doubted Allen would react well to the news, even if it was not suspected that she was seeing Jaz.

"You're right. We don't have to worry about the food or anything. Since I got here early, I ordered for both of us if you don't mind."

"I do mind," Georgia said with a frown. She hated when people ordered for her. Allen did it all the time. It was like she could not be trusted to make her own decisions, even when it came to a meal.

"Okay, so when the food comes, just say you don't want it. It'll probably be here in a couple of minutes," Jaz replied in a blasé tone, shrugging. It obviously did not matter one way or the other to her.

Georgia nodded to show that she would do just that. But, when the food arrived not even a minute later, she felt like she jumped the gun in being upset with Jaz. Two large pieces of French toast with powdered sugar were sat down in front of her; one of her favorite foods. It was not well known that she liked French toast because she rarely cooked it and much of the time when she went out for breakfast, someone ordered for her, as Jaz did. Jaz was the only person to ever do it right, though.

"Do you want to send it back?" Jaz asked.

"Send it back?" Georgia echoed and then she realized what the college student meant. "Oh, no. I'm all right," she replied.

"Okay. Thanks," Jaz said to the waitress, who was still standing there. The waitress nodded and walked off. Jaz turned her attention to her giant stack of chocolate chip pancakes, covering them in strawberry syrup.

"Thanks for ordering my favorite, Jazzy," Georgia whispered, somewhat embarrassed by her earlier behavior.

"It's not a problem. It's just breakfast. How have you been?"

"Missing you," the older woman answered honestly.

"Oh?" Again that skepticism that practically dripped out of Jaz's mouth.

"Of course I have."

"Yeah, after all, your little puppy hasn't come around in almost a month. Shockingly enough, Allen didn't offer you any good company?" Jaz snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Jazzy, is that what this is about? You think I consider you a puppy?" Georgia inquired.

"No, that's not what this is about. This is about wanting more. I want more, Georgie. I want more than stolen moments with you. I want more than days when your husband isn't around. I want more than being your dirty little secret. I want to be more than your mistress," Jaz stated plainly. "I deserve more."

"Jazzy, you're not some dirty little secret or my mistress-" Georgia tried to explain, but the taller woman cut her off.

"I am and I don't want to be that. I want to be someone's girlfriend. Without sounding arrogant, I like to say that I am a good girlfriend and I want someone who can be a good girlfriend in return. I want someone who will come see me as much as I see her. I want someone who won't argue with me when I say I love her. I want someone who doesn't have a husband coming home every three seconds," Jaz hissed, thankfully making sure to keep her voice low, so the whole place would not know what they were talking about.

"Jaz, you want me to leave Allen. I told you, it's not that simple," Georgia argued.

"Why is it not that simple? What does this man do for you that I don't? I love you. I support you. I'm there for you. I don't judge you. What more do you want from me? I come whenever you call. I hold you whenever you need it. I treat you like you're the most precious thing in the world because, to me, you are. I get none of this in return, but I'm still here. I do everything. When are you going to do something in return for me?"

"Are you saying I do nothing for you?" Georgia demanded, keeping her voice low too to avoid making a scene.

"You don't do enough," Jaz said so bluntly that it felt like she slapped Georgia in the chest with her words.

"I don't?"

"No, you don't. You hurt me consistently and it doesn't even seem to cross your mind. Can you even imagine how I feel whenever I want to see you and I can't because Allen is around? I want to be with you with no strings attached, yet you seem to think I should be content being your dirty little secret. Look, I don't live in the closet. I figured out I was gay when I was fifteen and I came out right after that. I don't like secrets. I don't like hiding. I live my life the way I do and that's how I'm going to keep it up. If you want to be in several closets, in the shadows, or wherever, that's on you. I'm not going to let it be me anymore," Jaz stated soundly, leaving Georgia no room to doubt her words.

"So, what do you want me to do? Leave Allen?" Georgia asked, even though that much was obvious.

"Of course. What good is he to you? He's belittling, shallow, inconsiderate, keeps you in a golden cage, and a boat load of other things. Yet, to you, he is so much better than me? Why is that?"

"Look, Jaz, I've been with Allen for years-"

"I know the excuses. You've been with him forever, he might get better, I'm a woman, I'm too young, I listen to my mom, and all other sorts of bullshit. Did you think I was just going to be your mistress for the next twenty years or something? I have my own dreams and aspirations. I'd like to be with you, but it sounds like you don't want to be with me. I don't want to be the other woman anymore. So, it's either him or me," Jaz laid down the ultimatum.

"Jazzy," Georgia sighed.

The tone or the look in her eyes must have said something beyond the nickname because Jaz put her knife and fork down. There would be no more eating it seemed as Jaz went into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. Dropping some bills on the table, she turned her attention back to Georgia.

"Jazzy, wait, don't leave yet," Georgia begged, reaching over and grabbing the much larger tan hand.

"Why should I stay? What's here for me, Georgie? Pain and heartache. That's it. I can't do this anymore. I can't…" Jaz trailed off and looked off into the distance as a tear slid down her cheek. "I deserve better than this. I deserve a woman who not only will tell me she loves me back, but actually does love me back. A woman that won't start a fight with me over every single thing. A woman that isn't trying to buy me or hide me. A woman that not only asks me to come to her, but will also come to me. Unless you can offer me any of that, let me go," she ordered.

"Jazzy…" Georgia whimpered, her hand falling away from the younger woman's hand.

"Georgie, be happy with Allen because that's who you obviously want. I don't know why you want him and I'm done wondering. I'm done trying to be better than him. I'm just done. Accept it and move on, like I have to," Jaz seemed to implore her.

"I thought you loved me…"

"I do. I'm sure I will for a long time to come, but if this is love…" Jaz sighed, shaking her head. "I don't want it anymore."

The artist left on that note. Georgia sat there, incredulous that Jaz had actually left her. She was more alone than ever before, she realized. She had ruined things with Jaz, not just their relationship, but their friendship. The best thing that happened to her in a long time just walked out of her life and she had done absolutely nothing to stop it from happening. She was not surprised to find tears falling into her breakfast. So lost in her torment, she did not even care that a restaurant full of people just saw her lover break up with her.

-8-8-8-8-

Jaz went home to regroup and figure out where to go next. She was without a girlfriend… well, no. Georgia was never her girlfriend. She was nothing more than a mistress and was way too stupid or blinded to realize it. Now, she was free of that, she told herself. She was free of being in someone else's closet, someone else's secret. She was free.

"So, why do I feel so horrible over it?" Jaz wondered aloud as she flung herself into a chair in the kitchen. Glancing at the refrigerator, she considered getting something to eat. Food was always nice, after all.

Despite the fact that she wanted to eat, she did not get up, did not move. All she could think about was leaving Georgia in that restaurant, seeing her depressed and miserable face. It broke her heart… again. But, she reminded herself that was all Georgia was-heartbreak. Georgia was nothing more than pain, suffering, and true Hell more often than not.

"I gotta move on. This is for the best. She was never going to leave Allen anyway. She didn't love me. I was a fool to think I could change her. I was a fool to chase her, to want her, to love her," Jaz growled and slammed her hand on the counter next to her. Suddenly, she laughed, though. "It wasn't all bad, though. For a while, it felt really good to love her and think that she loved me in return." A sigh escaped her. Briefly, her time with Georgia had been perfect. It was the paragon of love for her. Too bad that could not last.

She supposed that she should have known better. Everyone warned her, but she did not want to listen. Being with Georgia had felt so good, so right, that she was certain that she knew what she was doing. Instead, she had been completely wrong and done some horrible things while being wrong.

Putting her head in hands and resting her elbows on the small table in front of her, she shook her head. Her chest was starting to feel tight, but she could not calm herself down. Life was just too much right now and she was not sure how to deal with it.

"Hey, Jaz-butt," Flint greeted his sister, opening the fridge. He paused from his search for food to stare at her. "Uh… Jaz, I can hear you breathing over here, not a good sign. Use your inhaler before we have to rush you to the hospital," he ordered, marching over to her and shaking her.

"Huh?" she asked, not realizing how loud she was wheezing.

"Inhaler, idiot!" Flint rifled through his sister's pockets for her inhaler. Once he got his hands on it, he held it to her mouth for her. She quickly inhaled, taking in her medicine and feeling much better.

"Thanks," Jaz said with a small, grateful smile as she took her medication from her brother.

"No problem. The last thing I want is for Mom to come in and find your dead body. Could you imagine?" he commented with a light grin.

"She'd either nag me back to life or die and follow me to the afterlife to scold me there," she remarked with a laugh.

"Those would be the only two options. So, what're you doing just sitting here and dying?" he inquired, pulling up the chair across from her.

"I broke up with Georgie," she informed him with a pout.

Flint nodded. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I'm sure it's for the best."

"I'm sure too."

"You deserved better, brat. You seem like you're ready for a real girlfriend, not the screwing around we usually do or the puppy love you had with your past girlfriends. Georgia wasn't the one for that, though. First off, you need a girl who's single."

Jaz nodded. "No doubt about that. I love her so much, little big brother. I wish she would've left her husband and we could've been so happy. Instead, she wanted to live in misery. Well, to hell with that!"

"Yeah, to hell with that!" Flint cheered, obviously wanting to lift her spirits.

"Glad you agree with me on that one."

"Jaz-butt, you're a good person. You've made some bad decisions, but you're great. One day, you're going to meet a girl who not only lets you sweep her off of her feet, but she'll do the same for you. It'll be freaking sweet," he remarked with a charming grin that made her smile in return.

"I hope so."

"It'll happen and it'll be all this was and more. You'll see," he assured her. "Now, I need to make some lunch and get back to work before someone notices I'm gone," he said.

Jaz watched him work, but did not bother him with anything because she knew that he had to get out of the house as soon as possible. Flint hurriedly waved goodbye to her, flying out of the house with his lunch in hand. Sighing, Jaz turned her attention back to the table before her and tried to focus on her brother's words of encouragement.

Flint knew what it was like to be in love, Jaz reminded herself. So, he would know what he was talking about in finding someone new, she silently assured herself. Of course, Flint had not found anyone new and he was just as good as she was. It did not seem like he was actively searching for anyone new either. She hated to think that he was disillusioned about love.

"Will that happen to me? Will my love for Georgie actually torment me? I don't want that. I want to be able to love again… but, not if it hurts like this. I want to be free to love, free to feel. But, I don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon. Right now, all I want is…" Jaz bit back the name. She needed to let it go. She needed to let Georgia go.

It was easier said than done. As of the moment, her heart yearned, bleed, and cried for Georgia. She wanted to be with Georgia, hold Georgia, and love Georgia with everything inside of her. Too bad Georgia did not want that. Georgia would rather live a lie with Allen.

"You okay there, Jaz? You're making a very odd face, like you bit into something really sour," Jeremy commented as he came into the kitchen.

Jaz snapped out of her revelry. "Dad? What are you doing here?"

"This is about the time I always get home. I thought you knew that," he teased her.

A slender finger scratched a tan forehead. "How long have I been sitting here then?" she wondered aloud. It had to be hours, just lost in her own head, thinking about the woman that she loved, the woman who did not love her in return.

"What's going on? You look… what's one of those big words your mom would use to get a giggle out of you? Flummoxed," he offered.

Sure enough, Jaz chuckled. "She would use that one all right. She would be right too."

"What's the problem then?" he inquired, stepping over to his daughter. "I should try to fix it before your mom comes in, eh?" he teased a bit.

"I don't think it can be fixed right now. I just need time to heal."

"Heal? Georgia didn't take that final step toward you?" he inquired, frowning already. He took a seat and rubbed his chin.

Shaking her head, the young woman glanced down for a moment. Agony tore through her as she realized that not only had she lost the one that she loved, but that Georgia had not even fought for her. Georgia had been able to just let her walk away, no remonstration, no pleading, no nothing. She had truly been worthless to her beloved.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Jaz. Maybe I shouldn't try to help anymore, huh?" he asked, patting her on the shoulder as if to comfort both of them.

"No, Dad, you helped plenty. You got me out of what was essentially a very horrible relationship. Georgie was emotionally draining on me. With all of the arguments and secrets, sometimes I just felt so beat down. I wanted to be worth something to her, but I wasn't even worth a small step, then it makes sense to get out, right?" she inquired.

"It does make sense."

"I went out with her to have breakfast today and I told her everything that was on my mind. I told her that I want to love her freely and that I don't want to be in someone's closet. I wanted her to let me love her out in the open. She didn't want that, though. I don't understand why wouldn't she want that? I was good to her, Dad. I was so good to her, but instead…" Tears poured out of her eyes. "Instead she stays with an asshole treats her like a toy and who's probably cheating on her!"

"Cheating on her?" Jeremy echoed.

"He goes on all of these business trips. What kind of man leaves on a business trip for a week after being home for two or three days? And his business is pretty much still at the same point it was when I first met Georgie. You'd figure he'd have a client or three by now, right?" A disgusted snort escaped her. What kind of man would have Georgia at home and would never want to be there?

"That does sound a little iffy, but you could be projecting. You were sleeping with his wife, after all," her father pointed out.

"I know, but I suspected him before I touched Georgie. No man would leave his wife for so long if he didn't have something on the side. He's so paranoid too, never wanting her friends in the house, like he's hiding something. He's always gone. When he is there, he's always on his phone and I think Georgie even suspects because sometimes she brings up what he talks about and then she stops herself, like she doesn't want to think about it. Even if he's not cheating, he's neglectful of his pretty little bird. But, you know what, he can have her. Georgie can have fun sitting at home alone, wondering when the hell he's going to come in, if he's going to come in, and when he'll be walking out again. I don't give a shit!" she proclaimed, but for some reason, her tears only fell harder.

"Baby girl…" He reached across the table, taking her hand.

"Sorry for cursing in front of you…" While her mother would allow swearing, her father did not tolerate her or Flint using such language in his presence.

"It's okay. You're upset and heartbroken. I'll let it slide this time."

"I don't understand why she didn't pick me, Dad. I would've given her my total support." Jaz let loose pained laugh. "She wants to open a bakery, you know? It's her dream. Allen keeps telling her once his business takes off, they can then open hers. But, whenever they argue, he mocks her dream. Sometimes, he tries to talk her out of it, wanting her to be nothing more than a housewife, a pretty little thing on his arm. She thinks he probably won't ever help her with it. But, she stayed with him. Why?" she begged to know, clutching onto her father's hand tightly. "Why?"

Jeremy took a deep breath, probably weighing his words. "Sometimes, people just get scared, baby girl. She might have been scared of all you had to offer her. It sounds like she trusted you a lot, telling you all about her dreams and everything, but in the end, she might have just gotten scared. It takes a strong and brave person to be free. Maybe Georgia just wasn't ready for it."

"I don't understand. Why the hell would she want to stay with him and in despair?"

"She's familiar with it, even if it is a horrible situation. She's just familiar with it. Some people find comfort in things that they know, even if it's not good things. The unknown is scary to many. You were the unknown. You are the unknown."

"So, she's scared of me?"

"Of what you represent. She doesn't know how to be happy and free, baby girl. You don't need that sort of thing in your life. You need someone to soar with you, someone that wants to be free right along with you."

Jaz rubbed her eyes. "Does such a person exist?"

"I'm sure she's out there and you'll meet her. You'll have a whirlwind romance and some kids, you know, to make your mom happy, and you'll grow old together and even when you're both old, you'll still be romancing the hell out of her because that's the type of person you are," he answered with a proud, sincere grin.

"I don't feel like that sort of person now, Dad."

"I'm sure you don't. Things'll get better, Jaz. Trust me."

Jaz nodded, fully believing that things had to get better. Right now, she felt just about the worst she had ever in her life. So, things had to get better.

-8-8-8-8-

Georgia did not want to get out of bed and she had felt like that since Jaz walked away from her a few days ago. Allen had not been of any help, leaving her yesterday for another business trip after berating her for the whole time that he was home. Curling up into a ball, she wept for what felt like the millionth time. How could Jaz just leave her like that, she pondered.

"How could she leave me? Doesn't she know I need her? Doesn't she know I love her?" Georgia wept.

No, she doesn't know that. Brown eyes blinked in shock as that thought ran across her mind. Jaz could not know because she never told Jaz. When she had the chance to do so, she only started a fight or let Jaz walk away without a word. What a fool!

"I let her leave! It wasn't her and I've been wailing over her leaving all this time. She didn't leave me. I left her," Georgia realized.

For the past few days, she had been cursing Jaz out when she was not weeping over her own loneliness and despair. But, it was not about Jaz. It was about her own selfishness, self-pity, and inertia. But, what should she do, she wondered.

Sitting up, she wiped her face. "What am I supposed to do? I can't just leave Allen. I should just get over it. I'll leave Jaz alone. She does deserve better. I'm nothing more than a nuisance to her."

Taking a deep breath, Georgia tried to gather all of her strength, hoping to at least get out of bed. She swung her feet over the edge and pushed off, surprised to find herself on her feet. After another deep breath, she was able to make it to the bathroom. She took a shower and tried to find something to do with her day.

Flopping down on the sofa, Georgia tried to think of what to do. Her friends were busy and she could not call Jaz. She tried to call Allen, maybe strike up a conversation with him, but he did not answer the phone. There was nothing to do and it remained like that for days. Georgia only had her thoughts for company. Her thoughts were not pleasant company.

Regret slashed at her soul, recalling Jaz strolling out of the restaurant after practically pleading with her to give Jaz a chance. She was all too aware that she was supposed to run after Jaz and beg for another chance, promise that she would be better, vow to devote everything to Jaz. She was supposed to declare her love for Jaz for all to hear, but instead she let Jaz walk away.

"No, it's better this way. I need to move on. I'm with Allen and I need to stay with him. Things will get better. Once Allen's business takes off, he'll settle down. We'll open my bakery. Everything will be better. I'll get to spare my parents the heartache of seeing me with a girl six years my junior," Georgia tried to convince herself.

The words had little effect on her and the silence of the empty house did not help. For the next few days, all she did was think of Jaz and of how she let the best thing in her life leave without any real struggle. All so that she could keep up appearances, all so she could try to hold onto the rather weak tenet that things would get better, and continue on with what she was comfortable with.

"I'm not just comfortable with Allen. I love him… or I did at one point in time. I'm sure once he settles we can get back to that. I won't think about Jaz anymore. I'll have Allen, the first person to ever be totally there for me… once upon a time anyway. I'm sure it'll go back to the way it was," Georgia promised herself.

Again, the words had no effect. For days, she wandered the house telling herself those things. Nothing happened, though. Her mind only went in circles, bringing forth no answers, only a headache. She was all too happy when Allen returned home, if only for the distraction.

"Hello, Allen. How was your trip?" Georgia inquired, reaching for his coat.

Allen frowned. "It was bullshit again." He then gave her a curious look. "Why the hell do you look like shit?" he inquired in a grumpy tone.

It was her turn to frown. "Well, that's a wonderful thing to say to your wife that you haven't seen in over a week," she commented.

"Sorry. I'm just upset over this crap. My damn antivirus software is great, but it seems like everyone thinks they don't need it. I can't believe after all of this moving around and trips for two fucking years and I have like ten clients!" Allen snorted.

"Have you used those ten clients to your advantage? You should tell your potential clients to call your clients," she suggested.

"Don't you think I've done that! I'm not an idiot, you know!" he barked.

"I didn't say you were."

"But, you implied it! I didn't come here for this crap! I come home for relaxation, but all I get is badgering from you! And then you try to tell me how to run my fucking business when all you do is sit around the house all goddamn day and can't even muster up the decency to look good when I come home! I don't need this bullshit!" he proclaimed, snatching his coat from her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, confusion and some panic in her tone. Don't leave! I don't want to be alone anymore!

"I'm going to hang out with my friends if all you're going to do is jump down my throat about everything!" he hollered.

"I didn't jump down your throat. I gave you a simple suggestion and you took it the wrong way, as you often do. Why can't you just sit down and talk to me about things? Why does it always have to turn into an argument?" she inquired, eyes pleading with him to explain.

"Because you always have to say something stupid!" he roared.

Georgia stepped back and blinked. "Look, I know you're upset and you always say hurtful things when you're upset, so I'll pretend you didn't say it. I just want to talk with you. Can we sit down and talk? When was the last time we did that?"

Allen growled at first, but then sighed. He dumped his coat back into her hands and marched into the living room. Taking a deep breath, she hung the coat up and then went to join her husband. Things would get better, she silently promised herself, taking a seat next to him. Things have to get better.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" he inquired with a scowl.

"Can we just talk? About nothing, about anything. We never spend time anymore, Allen," she pointed out.

"Sure we do."

"Oh, yeah, when we go to your country club and you show me off like I'm something you bought from the mall."

Allen looked shocked. "What makes you say that?"

"A person can tell when she's being treated as arm candy. Is that all I am to you now?" she asked.

"Of course not! I love you like I always have, Georgia," he swore.

Georgia swallowed hard, hearing those words. The last person to say them to her was Jaz and she hated to think that Jaz's voice had so much more conviction in it than Allen's. Gazing into his eyes after he spoke those words did not help. She had been able to see Jaz's love, but she got nothing with him. Nothing at all.

Making matters worse, she did not feel the same hearing the words from him. Nothing in her felt light or loved. When Jaz spoke the words, even though she started a fight over it, she had felt caressed by the expression. The look in Jaz's eyes had embraced her and Jaz's voice had warmed her to her very soul.

"Want to watch a movie with me?" Georgia requested.

Allen frowned a bit and rolled his eyes. "Uh… I guess…" he conceded, folding his arms across his chest.

It was not the best acceptance, but she took it and latched onto it like a life-saver in rough waters. The movie turned out to be a bad idea. He did not enjoy it and complained through out the entire film. It had been one of her favorites, but she could not enjoy it with him.

"So, what're you making for dinner?" he asked as he stood. "I'm going to go take a shower. Wash away the stench of that bad movie."

Georgia scowled, but let his words roll off of her. One of problems with Jaz had been her inability to let things go. She and Allen would argue less if she could let things go, she convinced herself. Then, things would get better.

"I just have to try harder and make sure not to keep making the same mistakes…" Georgia assured herself. Things will get better.

-8-8-8-8-

21: Wise decisions

Georgia sat at the counter in her kitchen, staring at the pile of baked goods that she had made. She needed something to keep her occupied and baking usually picked her up. It had done nothing for her and now she was stuck with cakes, pies, and other sweets that she definitely could not eat on her own.

"I want to call Jazzy. I want her to come here. I want her to sit and eat and laugh with me," Georgia sniffled.

More than anything, she wanted to not be alone. Allen was gone again, leaving as he always did. For weeks, she had been alone, even when he was home. He was often on his phone or out with his friends, just like always. He was a shadow in the house, not interested in spending any time with her, even when asked. It's like he doesn't even want to be around me.

"What the hell did you do in here?" Allen demanded to know, marching into the kitchen to see it overloaded with baked goods. His voice boomed and his eyes ignited with a fire that might have scared Georgia if it did not outrage her so swiftly.

"I just did some baking," she replied, upset that he entered the house and did not even think to greet her. She did not bother to acknowledge that because she had not been arguing much over things. She did not have the energy for it.

"For what? The whole damn state? What the hell is wrong with you?" he hollered, marching over to her.

Georgia had a curious reaction to his usual tirade. Tears started sliding down her face. He balked, jumping back.

"What the hell are you crying for?" he shouted, glaring at her as if she had done something horribly wrong.

"I just needed something to do and you're screaming at me over it. If only you stayed home and kept me company, I wouldn't have done this. I just needed something to do. Why can't you just stay for a little while? Do I so offend you?" she countered with a wail, pointing to herself. "Am I so hideous and heinous that you don't want to even be around me anymore!"

"Stop being such a baby! God, you're fucking crying over this and you're whining about me not staying with you!" he bellowed in disbelief. "You're so goddamn annoying and needy! I don't need to put up with this crap and I won't put up with it!" He turned to leave.

"And you're just going to walk away? You're going to scream and ridicule me and then just walk away? You're not even going to try to find out what's wrong with me?" she demanded incredulously. Her tears were suddenly boiling hot, like the blood coursing through her, burning her flesh with fury.

He turned around and glared at her with disgust and vitriol in his eyes. His lip curled up as he regarded her. She had seen people look more respectful to things found on the bottom of their shoes compared to how he was looking at her now.

"What's wrong with you is the fact that you're being a spoiled brat. You're such a fucking baby! You always have been and it's getting on my nerves! It's always so annoying. You're so annoying! I wish you could hear yourself most of the time! You're such a fucking baby!" he screamed at her as loud as he could.

Georgia was so shocked by the outburst that she nearly fell off of her chair. "What?"

"You're like a little kid, Georgia. All you do is whine, cry, and cower. It gets on my goddamn nerves. I don't hang around here because I want to be around adults! I want to be around people that don't need my attention every second of the day and I can have fun with! I want to be around people that don't do stupid things like fill the kitchen with cake and then cry when questioned about such stupidity!"

Jaw trembling, Georgia managed to wipe her face. Her eyes remained heated, glowering at her husband. Taking a deep breath, she was able to calm herself enough to recriminate.

"When did you become such a bastard? I always thought you were stressed because your business plans weren't going the way you wanted, but this is beyond that! You're picking on me and you've always done that! Any time something didn't go your way, you'd turn around and criticize me to make yourself feel better! You're just an abusive asshole!" she realized.

"I'm not picking on you. I'm just telling you the truth. You're annoying and stupid."

"Now who sounds like a kid? If you feel that way, why did you bother to marry me? You claimed that you love me, but you always say some of the worst things to me. You go out of your way to avoid me. Why put up with me? Why?" Georgia begged to know.

Allen opened his mouth, as if he had a devastating rebuttal. He chose not to share it, though, closing his mouth quickly. Suddenly, he smiled.

"I'm sorry, babe. I don't know what came over me. I think I'm just stressed over the business like you said," he replied, reaching out for her. She stepped away.

"No, I'm not going to fall for it this time, Allen. I don't have to put up with this," Georgia decided.

"No?" He burst out laughing. "And what's your other options? Let's face it, Georgia, you have the likability of a worn shoe. You're too shy to talk to anyone, especially now that you're out of college and you have nothing in common with anyone. You don't share classes or dorms or anything to help you become familiar with anyone. Even if you did talk to anyone, they'd let you know that your thoughts and opinions don't matter. You're invalid. No one wants to talk to you. No one wants you. I'm all you have. You're stuck," he pointed out.

Somehow, she managed to keep her head high through his scurrilous tirade and looked him dead in the eye as she replied. "I am not stuck."

"Where are you going to go? Nowhere. None of your friends will put you up because they have kids of their own and I know their husbands. I'll have them send you right back here. And you know they will. No one would bother to listen to you no matter what you said, especially about me because no one likes you. You're mine, Georgia," he proclaimed, marching up to her and grabbing her by the chin. He then yanked her close, putting pressure on her face.

Georgia winced. "Allen, you're… hurting me…" she whimpered, trying her best to hold tears in.

He snorted and gripped her face just a little tighter. "See? You're just like a baby. The slightest thing and you're back to crying. God, it's so annoying," he said, flinging her away.

Georgia fell back a little, but was able to maintain her balance. "Allen…"

"Stop whining already and get rid off all of these damned cakes," he ordered, pointing a hard finger at her.

"This is really where our marriage has been headed, hasn't it? You wanted to isolate me, so I can be your little personal punching bag and slave. You need to pick on me to feel better about yourself, about your failure as a businessman, as a husband, as a man!" she proclaimed.

"Shut up! You're the same! You're a failure in every aspect of the word!" he countered.

"Because I've allowed you to hold me back! Well, no more! I want a divorce!" she declared and then she stepped back, surprised by her own words. Wow, it was that easy to say.

Allen took a step back too, utterly stunned by her words. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, like a gaping fish. He had to run his hand over his face before he could trust his voice.

"You don't mean that. Where would you go, Georgia? The house is mine despite your little trust fund and you know you can't go back to your parents. They like me enough to talk you right back to me. They wouldn't support or back your foolish idea, not in a million years. So, why don't you put that thought out of your head? Not like anybody would want you anyway. All you're good for is looking good on my arm and I can find a lot of women to do that. Trust me on that. You can't find anybody, though. No one likes you, no one wants you, no one cares," he stated, sounding so sure of himself.

"You're wrong!" she said with more confidence than she thought she ever possessed. "I've been wanted before, cared for, and liked. Hell, I was even truly, properly loved! And I was a fool to give it up, especially for you. You can have your house and your country club and whatever the hell else you want. I just want to be rid of you. You've done nothing but make me miserable for the past few years and I'm tired of it."

He laughed, going so far as to throw his head back as if she just told the greatest joke in the world. "Someone wanted you? I doubt it was for anything more than to use you. That's all you're good for. That's what all of your friends do! Hell, I even do it every now and then," he said, almost as if he was boasting. A cruel smirk adorned his lips.

"I don't have to take this shit anymore!" Georgia proclaimed, moving to leave the kitchen. He grabbed her by the arm and she glared at him. "Let me go."

"You think I would let you leave so easily? I'd be the laughing stock of the whole neighborhood!"

"I don't really care. I'm done with you and the appearance that you want to keep up. You can get that girl you're always on the phone with to play hostess for you!" Georgia informed him and that shocked him so much he released her arm. Smirking, she looked him up and down.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he hissed after a few seconds of complete and utter silence, trying his best to look angry, but only looking guilty. Had he reacted like that a few months ago, she might have bought the act, but no more. She was done lying to herself and excusing his piggish behavior.

"You didn't think I knew, did you? I'm not so stupid in that regard, just in denial and delusional. I've seen the text messages on your phone before. You read them and then run out, telling me it's business. I desperately wanted to believe you. But, no more. No more lying to myself and no more letting you get over," she informed him. In all honesty, she was taking a guess now. Assuming that he was cheating on her, mostly because Jaz had implied it so many times. Yes, she had seen a few odd text messages, but nothing that confirmed his infidelity. She had feared he was cheating after a while, but pushed it away. Now, it was all but affirmed and she felt nothing. If this was Jaz, I'd be crushed, but with him, I feel nothing. I don't love him anymore.

"You've been checking my phone?" he inquired, too incredulous to be upset.

"Just going to retrieve it whenever you leave it some place in the house. But, that is beside the point, is it not? You have been seeing another woman," she stated with certainty, as if she had known it forever and a day.

"Georgia, you're crazy, sweetheart. I would never…" he could not even get the lie out now, too stunned to get his mouth moving properly. A bead of sweat seared its way down his cheek as he tried to recover. She smirked haughtily at him, happy to be the one to get the better of him for once.

Georgia decided to rattle him even further because there were some things that she knew, but never thought about it and never considered bringing up. It was just that she saw more than she let on. She understood now why he always worried about her friends snooping around the house. She imagined that she would know loads more than she ever wanted to if she actively looked for things.

"I know about the woman, I know some of your business trips are to see her, I know you have more clients than you let on, and I know you have more money than you want to tell me about. You're too careless with your things, leaving them around and assuming that I'd never so much as glance at them. Is that why you never want my friends in the house? You think they might do more than glance at things, right? I don't care about any of that, though. I just want to go." It was not like he was overly wealthy or anything. She just wanted him to know that he was not hiding anything from her like he seemed to think he was. She was not as stupid as he had assumed, just quiet when she thought things did not merit a discussion. She was way more trusting than he ever deserved. Maybe she was just a little naive.

Too stunned to move, Allen watched her walk out of the kitchen. Rushing to the closet, she grabbed a coat. Her purse and keys were in the living room. She took those and made herself scarce before her husband broke out of his stupor. She actually ran down the street to get away, calling a cab when she stopped to catch her breath. After that, she laughed.

"It was so easy. It was so easy to leave him and I was too stupid to realize it. I lost the one person that loved me for who I am and I lost her over just a ridiculous fear. I stayed with him all of this time… all this time… and for what? Pain and misery, just like I put Jaz through…" Georgia muttered as her eyes watered.

Torment gnawed at her as she waited for her cab. She silently wept when she was secure in the car and went to a hotel, hoping that Allen would not bother to look for her. The four walls of the room seemed to mock her somehow, laughing at how foolish she was and how she was truly and utterly alone now.

Of course, the idea of being completely alone did not bother her. If she never saw Allen again, it would be too soon. It was who she was without that caused her actual, physical, visceral pain.

She sat on the edge of the bed in a hotel room, staring down at her cell phone. Temptation was tearing at her, begging her to call the one person she wanted by her side, the one person that had the power to make everything all better. She wanted Jaz, but it would be wrong to call, she told herself. It would be wrong to burden Jaz with her once again.

"But, I miss my Jazzy…" she groaned pathetically. "No, I have to be strong and be on my own. I have to stop depending on others and burdening others. I'll leave Jaz alone because all I do is hurt her. My life is a mess right now. I have no right to try to get her caught up in my nonsense again. In fact…" Georgia did the most drastic thing that she could think of-deleted Jaz's number out of her phone. Now, she had no way to contact Jaz and no way to drag her back into her mess.

-8-8-8-8-

Jaz dragged herself out of the house, going to school, even though it felt like such a chore. She never felt like that about school before. It was not that she liked school, but she certainly did not dislike it. Everything seemed like a complete burden, though.

"Hey, little gem, I think you're forgetting something," Maggie called to the departing young woman.

"Huh?" Jaz looked down, checking to make sure she had on shoes. The last few times her mother had caught her leaving and missing something, it had been shoes. "I got on my boots…" She turned to her mother, wondering what it was she was trying to leave behind now.

"It's Tuesday. I do believe you have art classes today," Maggie said, holding out Jaz's sketchbook.

Jaz gasped. "How could I forget…" To an artist like Jaz, forgetting her sketchbook was like forgetting her child.

"You haven't been yourself for a while now, Jaz. You've been forgetful and depressed much of the time. Robbie's called and said you've stopped hanging out with them. What's going on?" Maggie begged to know.

"I'm sure you can guess, Mom."

"Heartache is something that only time can heal," Maggie sighed. "I guess the best I can do for you is make sure you leave the house with the right books and shoes on your feet," she remarked with a gentle smile.

"It means a lot to me when you do."

"I just wish I could do more. I don't like seeing you in pain, precious child," Maggie said, caressing her daughter's cheek. She gasped as she felt a tear slide down her hand.

"It hurts more being away from her than it did being with her. I don't understand why. I thought it would get easier, but it's not. I miss her so much, Mom!" Jaz fell against her mother, sobbing.

Maggie wasted no time wrapping Jaz into a reassuring hug. Things had been this way since she left Georgia. At the strangest times, she would have a breakdown and burst into tears. Two months after splitting with Georgia and Jaz's heart had not healed yet.

"Why didn't she want me, Mom? Why?" Jaz cried.

"I don't know, little gem. I don't know why," Maggie replied honestly.

"I'm good, right, Mom? I'm good, right?"

"You're the best, baby girl. She just couldn't see that. I hope your heart heals soon. You'll be able to show someone that you're the best," Maggie promised, rubbing her daughter's back in a way that she knew helped soothe Jaz's toiling emotions.

"What if she doesn't want me either? What if no one wants me?"

"Trust me, Jaz, you're good. You can't judge yourself by someone who was already broken. Remember, you wanted to heal her. She didn't want to mend, though. There's nothing wrong with you. It was her," Maggie tried to assure the younger woman, as she had been doing since Jaz broke up with Georgia.

"Then why does it feel like it was me?"

"Because you're hurting, Jaz. You listen to me, she didn't know that she had a precious gem and she is the one that carelessly tossed you away. Not because there's something wrong with you, but because she didn't know what she was holding. She wasn't intelligent or strong enough to hold onto you," Maggie stated in a strong voice.

Jaz nodded because intellectually she understood that. Emotionally, she was a mess, though. Two months of being officially over with Georgia felt like two decades of being chained in a dark room with rodents gnawing at her. She just wanted the agony to end and move on with her life.

She took a deep breath. "Thank you, Mom. I needed that."

"You know I'm always here for you, little gem. You're precious to me," Maggie said with a smile.

"You're precious to me too, Mom. You're the best," Jaz declared, pulling away from her mother and smiling. "If only you weren't my mom, I would totally marry you," she joked, laughing a bit.

Maggie chuckled. "So you and your brother say, but you know you'd both have to beat your father to me."

"My legs are longest, I'd get there first every time," Jaz quipped.

"I guess you have me there."

Jaz managed to leave the house with her sketchbook and a smile. Maggie watched her go, smiling too. Momentarily, Jaz felt like eventually things would be fine. It was not the first time that she felt like that, but the feeling never lasted. She would sink right back into despair by tomorrow, but at least for the day, she felt good about herself.

Driving to school, Jaz could only wonder when it would stop feeling like a trial just to be alive. People had loved and lost since the beginning of time. She was not the first, she told herself, nor would she be the last. She needed to suck it up and move on, yet she could not do so.

"I should go out and find another girlfriend," she said and then sighed. "That's a terrible idea! I would be giving someone a broken me, just like Georgia was broken. I would just end up hurting somebody. I can't give myself to someone else until I get rid of Georgia's memory," she decided.

With the way she felt, she was almost certain that she would never have another girlfriend again. Georgia haunted her, lingered within her. Sometimes, it was so strong that she had breakdowns, like with her mother. Other times, she actually drew comfort from it. Despite all of the trauma, remembering that she knew what love was and could feel it for someone else was powerful and she could find solace in that.

"One day I'd like to feel this comfort with someone who can return it. I'm sure being in a loving relationship with a partner who loves me just as much as I do her would be amazing," Jaz assured herself. Of course, she would not be able to feel such a way until she could rid herself of Georgia. She could only wonder how long that would take. She hoped it was not too long. She would like to have her minute sense of sanity and self back before she graduated.

-8-8-8-8-

Georgia looked around her new apartment. Well, it was not so new, but she had only been living in it for a month and a half. Before moving into the apartment, she had stayed with her parents for a couple of weeks. They had not been happy with her decision of moving out or divorcing Allen until she explained what the man had put her through. At first, they seemed to be under the impression that she had left over one argument, letting her know that Allen had called them and tried to get them on his side. She was right to assume that as her mother quickly went into how sorry he was and how much he wanted Georgia to come back home. Her parents had been very close to driving her back to Allen themselves until she got the whole story out, letting them weigh which version they believed.

Thankfully, her parents listened to her and opened their home for her until she could find her own place, which she had insisted on doing. Her parents had first tried to convince her to stay with them until everything was settled. It was an offer she would have taken up not so long ago, but now she wanted to be independent and brave. It was time to become her own person. Her parents reluctantly let her go, after she was able to assure them that she was fine and far from crushed over the loss of her marriage. It was not a marriage, after all.

Her mother had assisted her in finding the apartment. The condo was small by her mother's standards, but more than enough for one single person. Of course, after that, she had to force her father not to throw money around to furnish the place. She wanted to do everything and her parents stepped back to allow her that much. She was not sure why, but she suspected that they looked at it as busy work to keep her from worrying about her pending divorce.

It was her first time living alone and she found herself having mixed feelings about it. Now, she had no expectations of company, so she actually was not as lonely as she used to be. But, sometimes, the walls seemed to close in on her and the small space made her feel isolated.

"I should decorate," Georgia considered, looking at her bare walls and shelves. That might help with the isolation that was troubling her now. "I'm sure if I put something up, I'd feel better. I don't have many pictures, though. I should take some. Then I can get frames and it'll start to look like a home. I do live here, so it should feel like it."

Getting up, Georgia was able to locate a few pictures that she already had. There were a couple of her parents. Some school pictures of her friends' children, all of whom she adored. Other than that, she did not have anything more in terms of items to put on the walls or settle on her shelves. She would need to go out for something else.

"Maybe shopping will be a good distraction. It'll keep me from looking at the walls and I won't have to be around for any of Allen's calls," she said to herself, leaning back on her small sofa. Even though it was not quite the size of the couch she had when she lived with Allen, it was rather cozy.

She really would like to put Allen out of her head. Ever since she left him, he had been calling her, shifting between taunting her, insulting her, and begging her to come back. He was making her as confused as he seemed to be. Some nights, lying in her full-sized bed alone, she actually considered going back to him. Being alone and on her own seemed so overwhelming that it made her think that going back to Allen was logical. Of course, her brain did not allow such madness to take hold for more than a couple of seconds.

Thinking of Allen inevitably took her mind to Jaz. Oh, how she missed Jazzy. She missed having those strong arms wrapped around her, holding her so lovingly and as if protecting her from the rest of the world. Allen never held her like that. She thought he did, but having Jaz let her know how wrong she was.

If she ever sat down and thought about it, which she had done numerous times since Jaz left her and she left Allen, Jaz had been everything that she used to think Allen was. She used to think that Allen supported her dream, but all he did was berate her and it. Jaz made her feel like her dream could easily be reality, just through her praise alone. Jaz was the one that truly looked out for her, that pulled her out of her shell, and that treated her as if she was beyond valuable.

"Jaz made me feel so special and I threw it all away for Allen. How foolish was that? I worried about all the wrong things. I should've been wondering how to keep Jaz in my life and how to make her feel just as she made me feel. I treated her love as a joke, though. It was a secret and that wasn't fair to her," Georgia told herself.

Honestly, it was not fair to anyone, but she had put Jaz in the worst position. Making matters worse, she made it seem as if loving her was not worth it. Jaz had made an effort for her, more than anyone else ever had, and she made it seem nominal. Everything that Jaz did for her, she made it seem like it was nothing.

"I was just so… scared. But…" Georgia looked around her spacious apartment. "Life is about changing and taking risks. I might not take as many risks in life as Jaz does, but I certainly am open to change now. Before the thought of changing was so frightening that it practically crippled me, but now I see that it can be a good thing. Despite it all, I know this was a good change. I feel like I'm alive now. When I was with Allen, I was dead and that house was my tomb, but I'm alive now."

Taking a deep breath, she silently reaffirmed that she was alive. Yes, things were still scary because she had a long way to go, but she felt free now. She had been a caged bird before, but now she would spread her wings and fly. There were many horrors in the wide open sky, but it was so much better than being stuck in that cage.

"Yet, sometimes, I still feel sick to my stomach," Georgia mumbled, holding the aforementioned area.

The sensation was chalked up to how she left things with Jaz. The artist was on her mind more often than not, almost all the time actually. She wanted to at least apologize, but she was not sure how to go about. Deleting Jaz's number from her phone seemed like a silly thing to do now, especially since Jaz had not contacted her since their meeting over two months ago.

"I really mucked things up there. The least I can do is apologize to her. It might help us both. Who knows," Georgia decided with a shrug.

Taking a deep breath, she rose to her feet and got on with her day. Before she knew it, she was outside and in a cab. She was stunned when it stopped in front of a small house in a middle-class neighborhood. Somehow, she knew that she directed the driver there, but she could not recall doing it. Getting out, she marched up the cement walkway and stood on the small porch.

Swallowing hard, she felt overwhelmed. Her legs trembled and her hand shook as she reached for the doorbell. She was certain that if she did not ring the bell in a hurry, she would flee in terror. Thankfully, her finger found its mark, in spite of the fact that she was shaking so badly it was almost like being in an earthquake.

"Who is it?" an unfamiliar female voice called from beyond the door. The quick answer helped keep Georgia in place.

"Umm… I'm here… to see Jaz…" Georgia answered, her voice cracking as she spoke.

"Jaz?" The door opened, revealing who had to be Jaz's mother. Georgia could understand why Jaz sometimes said she was darker clone of her mother. Intense blue eyes examined her closely. "You're Georgia, aren't you?"

The correct guess caused the shorter woman to step back. "Uh… yes. How did you know?"

"Jaz has pictures of you on her phone." The tone was dry and somewhat disappointed.

Georgia noted that she said the word "has" and not "had." It was a bit distressing about how one word sent hope and sweetness spreading through her. She attempted to squash the feeling and focus on the moment at hand.

"You must be Jaz's mother. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Hall," Georgia said.

"I wish I could say the same. Right now, I'm going to have to forget any and all manners my parents ever taught me and demand that you get the hell out of here. I'm not going to let you hurt my baby anymore," Maggie stated, folding her arms across her chest.

The words caused Georgia to pause and swallow down what felt like bile rising in her throat. "Honestly, I wasn't here for that. I just wanted to apologize for everything I put Jaz through. I've lost her phone number, so I couldn't do it over the phone. Besides, I think I owe it to her to do this in person. She made me a little stronger and I need to show her that. I also want…" she paused again, unable to keep the quiver out of her voice or the tears out of her eyes. "I want to her to know… She didn't do anything… She didn't do anything… wrong…" The tears were flooding her eyes and cascading down her face before she knew it.

Maggie sighed. "Why don't you come in for a moment? I'll get you some tissue for your face. But, Jaz isn't here right now."

Georgia managed a pitiful nod and followed Maggie into the house. She noted that it was just as small as the outside implied. The foyer was little more than a hallway that led to the kitchen, which was where they ended up. Maggie handed her a paper towel, which she used to wipe away her tears.

"I'm sorry for coming here and crying on your door like that," Georgia said, sniffling.

Maggie waved it off. "Sometimes, emotions need to come out. Besides, my reasons for asking you in weren't entirely in earnest. Your tears gave me an excuse to get you in here and grill you over your intentions toward my child. I don't exactly believe you want to just apologize."

"I suppose you have a right to think that. I've treated your daughter horribly for months, but I've grown since she left me." Georgia laughed slightly. The noise sounded rather bitter and almost sarcastic. "You know, I used to always get on her about her age, call her a brat and say she was immature. I've learned that I was completely and totally incorrect. I was the brat and I was immature. I want her to know everything I said was wrong. She was perfect, beyond perfect, and I was too stupid to see what was right in front of me. She wanted me to choose and I chose wrong. I want her to hear that from me."

"I think it would do her a world of good to hear that. But, tell me, why Jaz? Why would you put her through all of that? Why would you play with her like that?" Maggie demanded. The energy that she put out, like a protective mama bear, made her seem to grow in stature, which she really did not need since she was already the tallest woman that Georgia had ever seen.

Tears rose again and brown eyes were flooded before the water cascaded down creamy cheeks. "I didn't mean to. Jaz was the best thing in the world to happen to me. My best friend and so much more… and I screwed it all up so badly," she sobbed, putting one hand over her mouth and trying to wipe her eyes with the other. Ceasing apparently was not an option as her jaw shook so badly her teeth began to chatter together.

It took her several moments to get herself together enough to finish what she was saying. Maggie stood there, waiting patiently. Georgia had to take a deep breath to help keep her jaw from quivering enough to speak.

"I don't know how I let it all happen and how I made it all fall apart. I love her so much and yet I hurt her so badly… I know you think I'm a terrible person and you're right! I'm terrible for everything I did to Jaz and even what I did to my husband. Yes, he was terrible too, but that didn't give me the right to do what I did. It was even worse for Jaz since she was just so wonderful. I just want to set things as right as I can with Jaz…" Georgia had to take another deep breath and then blow her nose, which she did into the paper towel that had been for her eyes.

Maggie sighed. "You make it damn hard to stay upset you," she muttered and then motioned to the small table. "Here, sit down." She ushered Georgia to the seat.

Georgia eased into the chair. "Thank you…"

"You're like a lost child, you know. I can see you standing in the park, crying because you've lost your mother," Maggie commented, shaking her head slightly.

"It's happened before," Georgia admitted. "It's not a pleasant memory and I would rather not relive it."

"Understandable. But, you'll forgive the analogy, I think you were still lost in the park and Jaz found you. Only, you didn't come to the park with her, so you didn't want her to be the one to take you home."

Georgia nodded, immediately understanding where Maggie was going. "I came to the park with Allen…"

"Indeed. If Jaz is to be believed, he brought you to the park and left you in a field while he went to see other sights. I would guess that Jaz found you, played with you, and then when she offered to take you home, you freaked out because she's not the person you came with. How could you know that she'd really take you home?" Maggie asked.

There was a loud sniffle. "I think I was more fearful that she would take me home. How does one deal with that after years of being abandoned in a park?"

Maggie nodded and a look of compassion settled into her pale blue eyes. Georgia could hardly believe that Maggie actually felt something beyond contempt for her after what she did to Jaz. Of course, the compassion did not wipe away that protective mama-bear aura that practically glowed around Maggie.

"Georgia, I can understand where you're coming from, but that doesn't change the fact that you broke my little girl's heart," Maggie said, her voice laced with sorrow as she thought of her daughter. "She's not the same person anymore. She's forgetful, inattentive, and I'm certain that her grades are suffering. I don't know what she's going to do if she ruins her perfect GPA because it is something that she takes particular pride in when she's in her right frame of mind. She didn't even take her internship this semester and that's all she's been talking about since last year. If I could, I would shield her from you every chance I got, but it's clear that she needs to talk about it and she needs to talk about it with you. So, when you do talk to her, you need to be honest about everything, like you were with me. I would leave out the park analogy, though. Her brain hasn't been sharp enough lately to even get the most basic of sarcasm, so anything more complex might actually collapse her skull."

Georgia gulped so hard it pained her throat. "I really hurt her… huh?"

"You know the answer to that. You're also the only one that can heal her aside from herself anyway. This is the only reason I didn't throw you out. I'm not fond of you, Georgia, even if you're just a little girl lost in a park. My little girl needs to hear from you and that's what matters," Maggie stated.

Georgia nodded. "When will she be in?" she asked in small tone.

"Her classes are late today. She won't be in until six, I'm afraid. How about I tell her you stopped by? The ball will be in her court and she can decide when she's up to seeing you?" Maggie proposed.

"That sounds like a good idea. I don't want to ambush her…" Brown eyes went wide as she realized that was what she did today. "I'm sorry for this…"

"Don't be. One of you had to make the first move and I think it's best that it was you."

Georgia nodded, even though she did not understand. "Can I leave my address with you? I moved and Jaz doesn't know…"

Maggie nodded and did not ask any questions. Georgia left her address and explained that Jaz could come whatever time of day because she was almost always home. She also made sure to say that Jaz would not have to worry about Allen because she did not live with him anymore. She then left on her own. She could only hope that Jaz did not tear up the address if she had hurt Jaz even a faction of what she suspected.

-8-8-8-8-

Two weeks. It had taken two weeks to work up the nerve and now that she was standing there, all Jaz wanted to do was run. Unfortunately, running was not an option. As her mother told her, she needed to hear Georgia out. She needed closure. She needed to ring the bell before she bolted like a startled stray.

Inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth, she raised her hand and rang the bell. Waiting for an answer, she looked around. She was not surprised to find that Georgia lived in a rather nice condo complex. She wondered why Georgia moved. After all, everything was so complicated to her before.

"Hello, Jaz," Georgia greeted her, opening the door. She seemed small and demure, somehow different from when she just being bashful. There was almost a shame to her, which did not touch Jaz in the slightest.

"Georgia," Jaz replied, trying her best to keep her tone civil. Still, her response was clipped at best.

"Please, come in," Georgia motioned to the inside of the apartment.

"Are you sure about that? Allen isn't going to show up any second or pop up from somewhere is he?" The sneer twisted Jaz's tan face.

"Allen will not be showing up ever. He doesn't live here and he doesn't dare come by. He's no longer a factor in my life," Georgia assured her. "Now, please, come in."

The tall woman had to take a breath before crossing the threshold into the apartment. She was honestly surprised that she was not swallowed whole by it. When the door shut, she jumped, even though it was far from a loud noise.

"Please, sit down," Georgia said, directing Jaz's attention to the sofa a few feet away.

"No, I don't think this'll take that long. I was told you have something to say, so say it," Jaz replied, turning to face her former lover.

There was a long sigh. "I guess you have the right to be so blunt."

"Yeah, I kinda figure I do after you tell me everything isn't so easy and then the moment I leave all of a sudden you've moved out and moved on!" Jaz barked. "What the hell was so hard about doing this four fucking months ago! Was I not worth the fucking effort?!" Hot tears welled up in blue eyes.

"Jazzy, sweetheart…" Georgia opened her arms and was clearly going to embrace Jaz.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me!" Jaz frantically hollered, tripping over her own feet to get away. She fell to the floor, taking down a couple of baubles from an end table with her. "I don't want you to ever touch me again!"

Georgia held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, sweetie, no problem. I will not touch you," she replied, sniffling a bit herself now. "As much as it hurts, I will not touch you," she promised.

"Good," Jaz huffed, wiping her face with the heel of her hand. She did not even bother to pick herself up off of the floor.

"Now, to answer your questions…" Georgia bend to put herself on Jaz's level. "I didn't know it was as easy as you made it sound. In my head, it seemed so complicated. And, baby, you were worth the effort. I didn't know that, though. I didn't think I was worth the effort at the time. Inside of me, I carried everything that Allen ever said and I didn't think I was worth it. I didn't think I could do. I thought I was weak and that I need him. I was so scared. I was stuck, Jaz. I didn't see it, but I was stuck. You tried to pull me free, but I didn't try to help. I just sat there and sat there and sat there while you exhausted yourself. It wasn't you. It was me."

Jaz scoffed. "Isn't that what they always say?"

"In my case, it's the truth. It was always me. I was always fighting you, every step of the way in almost every sense of the word. Instead of trying to carry myself with your help, I stayed where I was and dragged you down. I need you to understand, Jaz, it wasn't you. You were so perfect…" Georgia said, her voice almost a whisper, as if she were awestruck.

"Then why did you keep picking him? Why!" the amazon bawled.

"Because I was scared. I was scared of everything you represented-love, freedom, support, companionship. Everything I never had before. You were surreal to me in your excellence. Sometimes, it seemed too good to be true," Georgia explained with a small smile and her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I was so scared…"

"I was good to you…" Jaz stated, somewhere between a growl and a whimper.

"You were beyond good to me. I was unkind to you, though. I was very unkind to you. I treated you with such… disregard. I didn't act like your girlfriend or even as your friend. I used you to unburden my soul and then left you to bear my load."

Jaz shook her head. "I wanted to…"

Brown eyes blinked and then squinted as they focused on the fallen female. "You wanted to?"

A sorrowful smile swept across the artist's smooth face. "I wanted to carry that weight for you, so you didn't have to. Georgie, if you only knew half of the things I wanted to do for you. Things I knew Allen would never think to do, but you stayed with him. You went out with him time and time again over me. How was I so scary if you knew I wanted to give you nothing but love, freedom, support, and companionship? How was that scary?"

Georgia sighed and shook her head. "I don't think I could explain it to you, Jaz. For years, all I knew was Allen. He was my shining light. He was my comfort and protector in the beginning and I always saw him like that, even when he started changing. It was like you were trying to take me away from the comfort and protection, even though it was already gone. Hell, it might have never been there in the first place, but I didn't know that. I was too screwed up to see, though. It was never you, Jaz. I swear it was all me…"

"Georgie…"

"Yes?"

"When I told you I loved you, I meant it. And you started an argument over it. Did you not believe me?" Jaz asked.

"No, Jazzy, I definitely believed you. I could see it in your eyes, but the last person to tell me that they loved me was Allen. In my mind, then, love was not a positive emotion."

"And now?"

"I understand it just a little better. I understand that I didn't answer you properly when you told me you loved me."

"What should you have said?" Jaz asked curiously.

Tears now slid down Georgia's face. "That I love you too! I love you so much, Jazzy, and I've ruined everything! I know we might never have another chance, but I do love you. I love you so much in ways I never knew existed. I cannot even begin to put my love into words. Again, there was nothing wrong with you, Jaz. It was all me. I was the problem, not you."

Jaz took a deep breath and wiped her face. Struggling, she climbed to her feet and stepped over to Georgia. She looked down at the older woman.

"I wish things turned out different, Georgie," Jaz said.

"I wish they had also. I wish I had left when you asked instead of waiting so long to leave, instead of letting you leave. I wish I had told you my true feelings every chance I got. I wish I had made you feel as happy and special as you made me feel. I love you, Jazzy, but I love you enough to let you go. You deserve better than me," Georgia replied with a long sniffle.

Jaz did not dispute that, or say anything else for that matter. She walked out of the apartment without sparing Georgia wave. Somewhere in the distance, she knew that she could hear Georgia sobbing, but she continued on in shock. She was not even sure how she got home.

"How did it go with Georgia?" Maggie asked immediately.

"She loves me…" Jaz muttered in disbelief, sounding as if she were in a daze. Georgia loved her.

"What?" Maggie inquired.

"She loves me. She tells me she loves me after she leaves her husband and moves on to start a new life. Why?" Jaz turned to her mother for answers.

"She wanted to say the things she didn't get to say when she was with you, Jaz. As far as her new life, you gave that to her. You pushed her to leave behind a bad situation. You should be proud of yourself."

Jaz nodded, but that was not on her mind. She was just stuck on the fact that Georgia loved her. Still loved her and she still loved Georgia. She could feel her stupidity coming back. And just when she thought she was getting wise.

-8-8-8-8-

The knocking so late at night startled Georgia. She had not had many visitors to her new home and the few that had come came during the day. Who could it be so late at night? She really did not want to deal with company after such an emotional day. That all went out of her head when she saw who was at the door.

"Jazzy?" Georgia opened the door and felt herself being pulled into a warm embrace.

"I love you, Georgie," Jaz whispered.

"I love you too."

Jaz grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that." Leaning down, she kissed Georgia with as much passion as she could muster.

"Jazzy…" Georgie murmured when they broke apart, panting for air.

"Without you, Georgie-girl, I am the definition of unhappy. Everyday is a new sort of misery for me when you're not around. When you apologized to me, I felt something I haven't felt in a long time with you and that was hope. I had hope in us together again. I had hope that you could finally be my girlfriend and that we could try to have a healthy relationship. I had hope that we could be lovers and friends and everything in between. I had hope that we could just be together. Is it wrong to hope? Is this another one of my stupid ideas?" the younger woman begged to know.

"I don't think so. I had hope too, Jazzy. You gave me hope in love and in life. I want to share this new life with you. I want us to be together. I want to show you that I am capable of making you feel loved and special and treating you how you should be treated. I'm done being scared and hiding. I know the pain in that and I don't want to live with it. I want to be happy and I want to make you happy," Georgia proclaimed.

"Then hold onto me and never let go," Jaz said, embracing the smaller woman even tighter. Georgia returned the hug and they stood there until a familiar ring tone interrupted them. "Or hold me until my mom calls works too," Jaz remarked.

Georgia could not help laughing. Despite the interruption, they both felt wonderful. They would be a real couple now and they were certain that they would bring each other happiness.

-8-8-8-8-

Epilogue

"So, this is it, huh?" Jaz inquired, standing back on the sidewalk and taking in the sight of the whole building that had a "sold" in the left display window.

"Yes!" Georgia grinned as she clutched onto Jaz's waist. "This is the bakery that love built!"

"The bakery that love built, huh?" Jaz echoed with an arched eyebrow.

"Yes, my love had the vision, but your love made it happen. Without you, I never would've had the courage to not only leave Allen, but also ask for money in the divorce with the confidence that I would get it. That was amazing," Georgia replied, affection shining brightly in her eyes.

"Hey, I didn't come up with hire a private investigator idea. You had all of that dirt on him. You might as well put it to some use after all he put you through. What I can't understand for the life of me is why a man would cheat on you at all!" Jaz scratched her head. "That's just the one thing I will never be able to get."

"Not everyone loves me like you do, Jazzy," Georgia pointed out.

"Just proves the man's an idiot. But, I guess we can somewhat thank him for this beautiful little shop. What's this beautiful little shop called anyway?"

A smile lit up Georgia's face. "Love."

Jaz rubbed the bridge of her nose as her forehead wrinkled. "The bakery is called 'love'?"

"Yes, it is and don't make fun of the name," Georgia warned, causing Jaz to throw up her hands in surrender. "Everything in this place will be made with love and it represents several forms of love," the older woman explained. "I'm also hoping to specialize in making romantic confections and everyone will think of my little shop when they want to do something for a lover."

Jaz nodded and then went into a bag that she had. She pulled out her sketchbook and flipped to the back. She then showed Georgia the picture of an adorable little character with caramel skin, blue eyes, and sandy blonde hair who was holding a cake.

"And who's that?" Georgia asked.

"This is Love. A cake fairy of sorts. She goes with that other character I made for you," Jaz informed her girlfriend.

"That other character?" Georgia parroted as if she had no clue what her lover meant, but she knew just who Jaz was talking about. It was the character that looked like a kiddie version of her. "And what's 'other character's' name?"

"That's up to you. I gave her to you, so you have to name her."

Georgia smiled. "She can be Sweetie the baker to go along with Love. Do you think you could draw them on the front windows and somewhere inside the bakery too?" she requested.

"I can do this thing you ask, my love!" Jaz replied with a goofy grin.

"It won't get in the way of your internship, will it?"

"Heck, no! Babe, I'm here for you first and foremost," Jaz declared. "I want your shop to be a success and if that means taking time out of my life to draw my miserable, wretched little characters on your shop's windows and walls, as much as it pains me, I will do it," she insisted, purposely being overly dramatic.

Georgia laughed. "I just want to be sure. I don't want you endangering your internship after having to beg for it this summer. So, please, baby, take it easy."

Jaz laughed and then leaned down, embracing the smaller woman and pressing herself cheek-to-cheek with Georgia. "I'll take it easy later. Show me the inside of this beautiful bakery and then we can find some place for me to tear your clothes off, so we can christen it," she purred, nipping at Georgia's ear.

"Oh, such promises. I better show you the inside quick then. We don't have a lot of time since you did promise to meet your friends for a rousing game of mini-golf," Georgia teased a bit as she led Jaz into the establishment.

"Don't knock it just because you're not good at it," Jaz replied, smiling against her lover's face. She then looked around the soon-to-be bakery and nodded her approval. "Needs some cleaning and painting and junk like that, but this is a good little shop. I don't think I'd feel right getting your good clothes all dusty, though, so how about I take you home and tear your clothes off?" she suggested before kissing Georgia's cheek.

"What about mini-golf?"

"Trust me, there are a lot of things much more rousing than mini-golf," Jaz commented, rocking her hips against Georgia's backside. "Ripping your clothes off is definitely one of them, just in case you didn't know."

A blush shot up Georgia's face all the way to her ears. "I think we should look around a bit more. I want to show you the whole thing. And, please, stop commenting on what you'd like to do to my clothes. I don't think my body can withstand anymore blood rushing to my head."

An easy-going grin appeared on Jaz's face. "Aw, Georgie, you know I love you and I do these things out of love."

There was a laugh. "I love you too, but I think you do these things to make fun of me," she replied. The words "I love you" came so freely between them, she noted sometime ago. It had taken Jaz months to work up the courage to say them again to her as she used to, but when Georgia responded in kind that opened Jaz up. Not a day went by when they did not tell each other how they felt. It made Jaz's friends sick, or so they claimed.

Georgia had yet to tell her friends that she was in a relationship. It had nothing to do with hiding. She just had not spoken to them at length since she made moves to acquire a space for her business. She supposed it would be a long time coming before she touched bases with them again. But, there were brief conversations, less than a minute to check in on each other. Once everything was settled, she would tell them.

Her parents were another matter entirely. She was not sure how to tell them that she was in a relationship with Jaz. Oddly enough, Jaz seemed to understand her on that, even though Jaz had told her so many times in the past that she did not want to live in someone's closet. The amazon did understand that coming out to one's family was a huge thing and she stood by Georgia's decision to wait until she felt totally comfortable with it, especially since Georgia was not sure how her parents would react. As much as she wanted to believe that they would understand, she feared that they would not like or support her decision.

"I can't wait to tell everyone about this place. I'll have everyone buying cakes from my fantastic girlfriend and you'll make a ton of money and I can just be a lazy artist!" Jaz joked.

Georgia swatted at her. "Oh, please, the second I try to buy you as much as a pencil, you'll have fits."

A lop-sided grin overtook Jaz's face. "You're right about that. Although, I do think my attitude toward gifts has changed somewhat."

"I'm glad you don't feel I'm trying to buy you anymore. Of course, that wasn't the case before either, but I was trying to keep you with me with gifts. Now, I know you're here, but I like to spoil you just a little anyway," Georgia explained with a smile.

"I'll take a little spoiling every now and then. Just not too much. So, come on, show me the rest of this place."

Georgia nodded and smiled as she showed off the rest of the building to Jaz. The place was purchased with money that she got out of her divorce with Allen. At first, he seemed ready to drag things on, but when she started pulling out his secrets, he seemed more than eager to go their separate ways. She considered he probably had even more money than what she knew about and did not want to chance her getting anymore than what she asked for. She had wondered briefly just how mendacious Allen had grown since she met him, but decided that she did not care as long as he was out of her life forever after the divorce.

Honestly, all she wanted from him was enough money to start her bakery because he wasted so many years of her life that she could have used to form the business on her own. Everything else, she would earn on her own-with Jaz by her side. She had gotten more than enough to start her bakery and Jaz was there, so life was good. Best of all, Allen did not seem to want anything to do with her anymore, so she truly did not have to worry about him.

"So, this is everything?" Jaz asked as they made their way back to the front of the building.

"It is everything. Now, I do believe you said something about taking me home and… I forget the last part. I know it had something to do with my clothes," Georgia remarked.

Jaz laughed and took her woman by the hand, leading Georgia out to her car. She found Georgia much more lighthearted and agreeable since they got back together. Georgia was a whole new woman when free. She finally felt like her love was not wasted and she felt good about it. Georgia made her feel good and happy, most of the time.

Like any other couple, they had their moments. They had arguments, but not over silly things like before. Georgia even gave Jaz space to let her sort out of her emotions before they settled their debates. Jaz no longer employed the total silent treatment to punish Georgia and opened up about things that bothered her. Best of all, they both took steps toward each other, instead of Jaz always coming to Georgia. They were learning from their mistakes. They were growing.

-8-8-8-8-

Georgia missed the lock twice with her key as she tried to open the door. Jaz's hands were driving her to distraction, gripping her hips and working their way underneath her shirt to caress her bare belly. Once a moan escaped her lips, she knew that she needed to get them into the apartment or they would give all of her neighbors a show.

"Oh, god…" Georgia groaned as she pushed the door open and Jaz practically shoved her inside. The younger woman kicked the door shut behind her, thankful that it locked on its own when it was shut.

Jaz then made quick work of Georgia's shirt. The older woman did not have time to consider that Jaz probably ripped the buttons off of her shirt because a hot, demanding mouth seemed to be devouring her neck and shoulders. Epicurean hands seemed to be everywhere on her torso, causing her whimper and moan loudly, echoing through the rooms.

"Jazzy… bed…" Georgia requested in a breath.

"Later," Jaz promised before she began nibbling on every bit of Georgia that her mouth could reach.

The cry of pleasure let Jaz know that she would not hear anymore talk of a bed for the moment. Instead of the bed, she pressed Georgia against the closest wall, knowing that Georgia was going to need the extra support. Slender arms went around Jaz's neck, so Georgia obviously knew that she definitely would need help staying on her feet.

"Kiss me," the pale woman requested in a whisper.

Jaz did not need to be asked twice and her mouth found Georgia's. The kiss that they shared seemed like they were trying to drink each other in to ensure their survival. Busy hands drifted upward, taking Georgia's skirt with them.

"You feel so good," Georgia hissed, pulling her lover closer to her, wanting to be impossibly close.

"You do too. You're wonderful. Oh, so wonderful," Jaz replied, kissing Georgia's cheek while trying to maneuver her fingers around what had to be the most annoying pair of panties in the history of the world because they kept moving back into place. "Damn it, Georgie, you can't wear underwear anymore with skirts."

Before Georgia could respond, Jaz found success in so many ways; the most important being able to bury her fingers in all that was her girlfriend. Georgia let out a high pitch wail that turned into a long purr as Jaz began to turn her inside out. She was always certain that Jaz reduced her to a puddle at times like this.

"You feel so hot and soft," Jaz whispered, kissing Georgia on the cheek as she moved within the smaller woman. Sometimes, she wished that she could just crawl into Georgia and never leave. "Being with you like this paradise," Jaz continued, adjusting her hand to go deeper, as if she was trying to massage Georgia's heart.

"Jazzy, more," Georgia begged, moving her leg onto her girlfriend's hip and pulling Jaz closer, deeper.

"More?" Jaz echoed in a delightfully mischievous voice. It was not a tease and Georgia shuddered, knowing what absolute heaven was going to come next… before she did anyway.

Slowly, Jaz began moving down Georgia's body, halting first to play with satin-covered treasures. A whine of a moan convinced Jaz not to stay with the twin jewels for long and she carved a path down Georgia's stomach with her tongue. Moving the leg that had been on her hip to over her shoulder, Jaz's mouth joined her questing digits while Georgia's hands gripped her head for dear life.

"Oh, god, sweetheart, your tongue…" Georgia groaned, unable to finish that dirty thought. She knew that Jaz liked it when she talked, but damn it, Jaz should not make it so hard to remember how to talk!

Jaz smirked to herself and put her tongue to good use, tasting every inch of Georgia's soul. The grip on her head tightened and Georgia screamed, pulsing around Jaz's fingers. Jaz could feel the older woman sliding down the wall and steadied Georgia against her.

"Oh, god, Jazzy…" Georgia muttered. Sometimes, it seemed like that was all she could say post-coitus.

"We're not done yet, Georgie-girl," Jaz commented, still wearing that delightfully impish grin.

Before Georgia could properly respond, her bra was yanked off and her skirt followed. She was pretty sure that she would never be able to wear those panties again either… if she could find them. "Oh, god, Jazzy…"

-8-8-8-8-

The couple finally made it to the bedroom. It was a good thing that they knew the place by heart because they had kissed and backed up the whole way to the room with Georgia yanking off Jaz's tee-shirt. Jaz took care of her own pants, but was so distracted that she did not realize when they made it to the bed. It was not until Georgia shoved her down did she figure out exactly where they were.

Jaz reached out for Georgia, planning to yank her down on the bed. Georgia saw the move coming and stepped out of the way. She shook a finger at Jaz.

"No, you've done all the touching you will for the rest of the night. It's my turn now. So, move to the middle of the bed," Georgia commanded.

The order and voice sent a shiver down Jaz's back. She loved Georgia's newly restored self-confidence, especially now. Obeying, she moved to the center of the bed and watched as Georgia crawled up her body like a graceful cat.

"It seems you've captured me," Jaz joked with a smile.

"Oh, whatever shall I do with you then?" Georgia pretended to ponder the matter. "I think devouring you bit by bit would be a suitable punishment."

Jaz did not argue and Georgia proceeded to do just as she said she would. It started with small nibbles and licks to Jaz's chin, going down her neck. Her hands immediately went to her favorite places on Jaz's body. While Jaz was forever fascinated with Georgia's ass, Georgia let loose enough to find that she was very much a breast woman. While Jaz was not well-endowed, she had enough for Georgia to find hours of entertainment with them.

"Will bite marks be included?" Jaz taunted her lover.

Georgia responded to that by grazing Jaz with her teeth as she dragged her mouth to one lovely mound. Tongue and teeth engulfed the caramel hill and then latched onto the peak. A strangled noise escaped Jaz as she arched into the touch, wrapping her long arms around Georgia to press her closer.

"Are those marks good enough or do you want more?" Georgia inquired, knowing that she would probably mark more of Jaz's body anyway. They were both very much into leaving evidence behind now.

"I dunno," Jaz breathed. "You might want to make it even."

Georgia quickly obliged while her hand snaked its way lower on Jaz's anatomy. Slender hips lifted as a pale hand settled into between soaked thighs. Another almost feral noise escaped Jaz as Georgia pleasured her from top to bottom.

"You like that, don't you, sweetheart?" Georgia whispered before putting her mouth to better use by keeping a dark nipple company.

"You know I do!" Jaz groaned, moving to keep up with her lover's hand. "You're so damn good, Georgie. So good!" The last declaration came out with a wild cry as her hips moved frenetically against Georgia, who curled her fingers to hit Jaz's favorite spot.

Pure ecstasy shot through Jaz so strongly that she almost bucked Georgia off of her as colors and lights blinded her senses. The older woman did not have to worry too much about that, though, because Jaz also embraced Georgia as if holding on for dear life. Georgia could not help but feel confidence beam in her from eliciting such a powerful response in her lover.

"Wow," was all Jaz could say once she could speak again.

-8-8-8-8-

"Why did I think you were kidding about tearing my clothes off?" Georgia wondered aloud as she snuggled closer to Jaz. They were lying in Georgia's bed; she had recently gone out and brought a queen-sized bed because Jaz's feet dangled off of her full-sized one.

"I dunno. Don't I always do what I say I'm going to do?" Jaz asked with a cocky grin, wrapping her arms around Georgia's nude form.

"Most of the time, yes. I still can't get you to take out the garbage when you say you will, though."

Jaz groaned. "I should've known you'd bring up the garbage. You sound like my mother."

"She can't get you to take the garbage out either? Now, I feel better. If Maggie can't get you to do it, then it must not be able to be done," Georgia remarked.

"I'm shocked she didn't tell you considering how buddy-buddy you two are now," Jaz commented. A month after reestablishing her relationship with Georgia, she had brought the bashful woman over to meet her family. The reception was awkward and tense, but Jaz did not give up. She brought Georgia home almost four times a week until she seemed like a fixture there. Now, her mother and her girlfriend were friends, having lunch together, going shopping together, and nagging her about the garbage both at home and at Georgia's condo. It worked out well, though, since her mother no longer called her in the middle of the night as long as she made it clear that she was staying with Georgia.

"Speaking of Maggie, she invited me to dinner tomorrow. Do you mind?"

"Georgie-girl, you know I never mind. I guess we won't be going to that Indian restaurant, though."

"We can always reschedule that. We should invite your family. I'm sure Flint would love it. We should probably invite your friends too since I know how upset they'll be with me for keeping you yet again."

A light chuckle escaped Jaz. "You just want to see me, Flint, and Cocoa try to out eat each other and then burn our stomachs out." She knew her friends probably would not be upset that she missed the mini-golf game, but they would appreciate Georgia's peace offering and apology dinner.

"Never. I like this stomach too much," Georgia commented with a smile, reaching out and stroking the aforementioned body part. "Does it bother you that I would want to invite your family out?"

"Of course I don't mind. I really like that you like my family. I'm glad my family adores you and want you to come around. This is how I imagined our relationship would be, you know? This is how I wanted it to be."

"This is great. I wish we could have done it sooner. But, at least it's here now. I'm never going to let go," Georgia declared, holding onto her lover just a little tighter.

"Me neither. I love you," Jaz said before leaning down to give her girlfriend a kiss. They both smiled when they broke for air.

"I love you too."

-8-8-8-8-

The end.

I hope you guys enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading. Check you later. Once again, contact the lunatic at starving.lunatic@gmail.com and lemme know what you think. Again, find more of my insanity here for fanfics: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/932292/ and for more original work here: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/576301/