~ Joxer the Watcher ~
by Starway Man
Date written: Tuesday, 9 Mar 1999
Author: Starway Man
Disclaimer: All X-WP characters belong to Universal and Renaissance Pictures, no infringement of copyright is intended, no profit will be earned as a result of this work.
Classification: Adventure/Fantasy
Warnings: Some violence and language are present in this fanfic.
Summary: Saved from certain death, Joxer is magically taken away from Xena and Gabrielle by one of the Guardians, and trained to be a Watcher.
Rating: R
Title: Joxer the Watcher
Joxer the Mighty sat at the bar in Meg's brothel, waiting for her to finish up business matters, so they could go have some fun together. The fact was though, his heart wasn't really in it tonight.
He thought about all the things he had seen and done - and of course, screwed up. Come to think of it, he couldn't find in his memory a single example of the former, without also finding the latter. Meeting Gabrielle, a bard and Amazon Queen, and Xena, the Warrior Princess was about the best thing that had ever happened to him - and even that had meant helping send his brother Jett to prison.
Joxer sighed to himself. Even though Gabrielle and Xena loved him like a brother (at least, when he wasn't TOO annoying), and in the case of Gabrielle he still had dreams about more, he understood that his two friends didn't really NEED him for anything. Despite all his bravado, he knew his combat skills just weren't good enough, in this violent world they lived in. In his mood tonight, he even suspected that sooner or later the day would come when Gabrielle and Xena wouldn't be there to save him.
A man slid into the seat next to him. Joxer turned to face him, and saw a face he didn't recognize. This surprised him, as he knew almost all the customers at Meg's place. "Hi, I'm Joxer," he said to his companion.
"Sampetrius," said the other man holding his arm out. Joxer reached over and clasped arms with him, in the traditional way of greeting. "Looks like a busy night."
"Yeah," Joxer replied, "I think the word is spreading, the girls are the best you can meet in all of Greece."
"Could be," said Sampetrius with a grin. "You got anybody special in mind?"
"Oh, I'm waiting for Meg," said Joxer.
"The owner of the establishment? You're kidding!" Sampetrius said in astonishment.
"No, seriously," said Joxer grinning himself.
"How'd you arrange that?" his companion asked.
"Oh, we're old friends," Joxer said continuing to grin. "You wanna hear some stories about everything we've been through together?"
The other man shrugged and nodded, "Go ahead, it looks like tonight the girls are going to be ages in coming. First round of drinks is on me."
Joxer settled into his seat comfortably, and said, "Thanks. Well, when I first met Meg I thought she was Xena - you know, the warrior princess..."
***
(Somewhere in the distant future)
"Damn it! Don't you even care that so many of our people are ending up dead?!"
The person voicing this outburst was looking furious. His companion, in contrast, was calm and collected. "There's no need to swear. Losses are inevitable, for one reason or another. You should know that."
The angry man faced his colleague. "That's easy for you to say. But for those of us who aren't immortal, o mighty Guardian, death can be very scary, and it's also goddamn permanent!"
The Guardian stared at him. "Your commentary never ceases to amaze me."
The human looked stunned. "You mean you all-knowing, all-seeing time-travelling magicians are capable of being amazed by a mere mortal like myself?"
"Enough. I take it you have some replacement candidates lined up?"
The man looked angry again for a moment, realizing that his actions had been so predictable, then shrugged it off. "Nine definites, and three probables. The new dirty dozen, so to speak."
"I take it the term means something special, in the semi-barbaric culture you came from."
"Watch it, you - look, let's not argue, okay? Come on, I better show you the profiles for the candidates I have in mind. The first is for a man from ancient Greece, who calls himself Joxer...would you believe I had to conduct the interview in a brothel?!"
***
In the midst of the raging battle, Joxer could barely see in front of him. A rushed thought came into his mind: How do I get myself into these things?
Looking back on it, he supposed it had started innocently enough. He, Xena and Gabrielle had been in the market square, and he had been planning to buy something special for Gabby when a group of Roman legionarys started causing a commotion with one of the vendors. Naturally the three of them had tried to sort it out without violence, but Caesar's warriors seemed to want nothing but a fight.
Xena and Gabrielle battled furiously; Gabrielle used her Amazon staff with great skill, knocking her adversaries over left and right. Xena used her sword and various martial arts techniques to defeat her opponents. Even so, they found the encounter long and difficult.
Joxer knew, even as he drew his sword, that the odds of him succeeding against war-hardened soldiers such as these were pretty slim. But he also knew that he had to stand by his friends, he had to TRY.
After deflecting a blow from his opponent more or less by accident, he stumbled around in a circle, drawing his sword around with him. In horrified surprise, he had a quick glance of the dull blade slicing open the belly of a soldier who had been sneaking up behind him. Without meaning to, as he completed his turn he ran the end of his sword into his original opponent just below the chest plate, killing him almost instantly.
Joxer looked at the blood and gore of the dead men around him, and felt ill. He dropped his sword, shaking his head in revulsion. All of a sudden, he heard a child scream, and a few feet away saw one of the Roman soldiers getting ready to kill a little girl who was in his path. Without thinking, he rushed over and shoved the Roman aside, yelling to the little girl as he fell over, "Run!"
The Roman crashed into a series of sharpened spikes, that tore through his armor like tissue paper. Seeing the death of one of his comrades, another Roman soldier snarled and came up to Joxer, who was still lying sprawled on his back after saving the little girl. Before he could move, he saw the legionary standing over him with his sword raised, ready to plunge it through.
Just as the sword was about to pierce his body, everything stopped. No noise, no movement. Joxer glanced around in confusion, and slowly got out from under the intended murder weapon. Nothing was happening, until there was a blinding explosion of light, and a man dressed in a white toga appeared in front of him.
"Who are you?" Joxer asked nervously, still not knowing what was going on.
"I am the Guardian," the man replied in a deep, rolling voice.
"Are you one of the Gods?" Joxer asked half-fearfully.
The Guardian shook his head. "No," he said, "I have never even seen Mount Olympus."
"What's going on?" Joxer said, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. He walked over to stand next to the new arrival and asked, "Am I dead?"
"Of course not," the Guardian replied. "I would not be here otherwise, there's no point in talking to a corpse."
"Then what -?"
The Guardian held up one hand for silence. "Everything will be explained soon," he promised. "Take my hand."
Joxer did so in confusion, and found himself caught in an unbreakable grip. All of a sudden, everything started up again. The battle was underway, swords clashing, people screaming. Unable to believe his eyes, he watched as the Roman he had been under finished ramming his sword down, into someone that exactly looked like him.
The victim was mortally wounded; he didn't even twitch as the Roman withdrew his sword and wiped it on the dead body's tunic. Joxer couldn't move a muscle. "He just killed me," he said dazedly.
"That is not so," the Guardian replied, "You are still alive here, next to me."
"But what -?"
"That was a golem," his companion told him.
"What's a - a -"
"Golem? It is merely something I conjured up, and bewitched to appear as a likeness of you."
"I don't understand -" Joxer stammered in confusion.
"I know," said the Guardian calmly, "but you will, eventually."
At that moment, Gabrielle noticed what had happened and screamed out Joxer's name. Xena also noticed and yelled out in rage, letting fly with her chakram, instantly tearing open the throat of the Roman who had carried out the murder. The remaining soldiers looked around and then decided to leave, realizing the odds of getting killed were now far too high for their liking, and the battle was over.
Xena and Gabrielle were now gathered around the corpse, as well as the little girl who had been breathlessly scooped up into the arms of her mother. "I saw the whole thing," the mother said hurriedly. "He saved my little girl, my baby! He must have been the bravest man I ever saw. What was his name?"
Gabrielle looked catatonic, so Xena replied, "He was called, uh, Joxer the Mighty."
The mother nodded, "I can understand why." Then she hurried off, taking her child with her, who had started to cry.
Xena looked at her blonde companion. "Gabrielle, are you all right?"
Gabrielle just shook her head, not saying a word. She couldn't take her eyes off the dead body before them.
Xena put her arm around Gabrielle shoulders, and led her away. Watching them, Joxer started to come forward, calling out, "Hey wait, that's not me, I'm still alive!" But the grip of the Guardian was unbreakable, and Joxer was unable to catch them. "Let go!" he shouted, struggling to get free.
"For what purpose?" asked the Guardian, looking straight at him. Joxer stared back, then noticed something had changed. Suddenly, they were in a completely different place.
"Where are we?" Joxer asked in amazement, looking around.
"In a field outside the town," the Guardian said.
"How did we get here?"
The Guardian paused. "I can't explain in words that would mean anything in your language. It would be best if you just accept it as magic for now."
Joxer acknowledged this in confusion and asked suddenly, "Why are we here?"
The Guardian let go, pointed and said, "To witness this ceremony."
Joxer noticed then the body placed on the funeral pyre a few feet away, and as the fire started he heard Xena starting to sing. He saw Xena and Gabrielle, and hurried over to them. "Xena! Gabrielle! Hey, I'm here, I'm not dead!"
"They can't see or hear us," he heard the Guardian say. Turning around, he saw his companion watching him closely. "It's time for us to leave now."
"No! I'm not going anywhere!"
"Do you want stay here like this for the rest of your life, living like a ghost?"
Joxer looked stunned. "But, but can't you just -"
"No," he Guardian said sharply. "History records that the man called Joxer perished this way, at this - point in time. That I would not - and must not - change. I'm giving you an option. I can leave you here, and you would go insane within a few years - I have seen it happen - eventually you would kill yourself rather than live like that any more, I do not doubt it for a second.
"Or, you can come with me and begin a new life elsewhere with others like you. We would teach you things you can't even imagine; you would be given knowledge and abilities that at the moment are completely beyond you, to be used in situations that are of vital importance to the world. Life or death. Make your choice."
Joxer looked around, and saw a number of people were at the funeral; Gabrielle and Xena of course, as well as Meg and the girls from the brothel, many of whom were openly weeping. The little girl he had saved was there too, holding her mother's hand, and looking confused. He was astonished to see Jett there as well, shackled hand and foot, with six guards with drawn swords watching him every second. "How did my brother manage to get here?" Joxer wondered aloud.
"The remains of the golem were preserved for nearly a week, in order to allow his request to be brought here to witness this. Apparently your friend Xena was owed a favor." the Guardian answered him.
"We're in the future?" Joxer looked at him in astonishment, and his companion simply nodded.
Xena finished her song and looked at the flames sadly. "Goodbye Joxer," she said softly.
Hearing this, Joxer looked at her, and then at everyone else. He realized then the Guardian was right, he couldn't live like this, he would go crazy almost instantly. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, turning to face the Guardian. "Will they be okay?" he asked pleadingly.
"All those present here will fulfil their destinies from this moment on, whatever they may be. Are you coming?"
Joxer nodded, once. "Yeah. I guess so."
The Guardian took his hand and in an unnoticed flash of light, both of them disappeared.
***
The King of Assassins known as Jett watched the flames consume the body, showing no outward sign of emotion. He knew the guards were waiting for him to try something; he had heard their mutterings, "...insane to let him out even like this, who knows what might happen..." but he ignored them. His mind was focused on the other rumors he had heard, of the way his brother had died.
Eventually the sergeant of the guards came up to him and said, "Time's up. Back to Maramis. Now."
Jett looked at him and said, "I want to talk to his friends before we go. Find out what really happened."
The guardsman just stared at him. Jett spat out the word like a curse, "Please."
The other man nodded after a moment, and gestured to the other guards. They formed a tight perimeter around him, and marched over to Xena and Gabrielle.
"He wanted to talk to you," said the sergeant, gesturing to Jett.
"Privately," Jett added.
The guard looked at him in amazement. Xena drew her sword, and said, "It'll be alright. Withdraw your men far enough back in a circle, and I'll keep him covered. I'll take the responsibility - after all, where can he go, chained like that?"
"With this guy, you can never be sure," the guard said hesitantly. Then he nodded, shouted orders, and Jett was left alone with Xena and Gabrielle.
"Is it true?" Jett asked.
"What?" replied Gabrielle.
"I heard the guards talking, bard. They said Joxer killed three men, and saved that child's life. Is that right?"
Xena looked at him in contempt. "Yes," she replied curtly.
Jett looked at them both. "Congratulations," he said emotionlessly, "I hope you're both satisfied."
"What do you mean?" said Gabrielle, starting to get angry.
"You turned him into a hero. Too bad you had to kill him to do it."
"We did not kill him!" Gabrielle shouted.
Jett simply stared at her. Gabrielle couldn't look directly back, it hurt too badly. It was so much like looking at Joxer, but whereas their friend had had a set of goofy smiling eyes, the man before them had nothing but violence and hatred in his eye sockets. It truly was like looking into a dark and evil mirror of the man they'd known.
"You didn't hold the sword, but you led him straight to it," Jett replied in that deceptively mild voice. "I remember one time when he came to visit me in prison, he said that he was willing to follow the two of you to his death, if he had to. I told him more than once, that that would happen to him eventually."
"You're sick," Xena said in disgust.
Jett grinned horribly. "Now that's a compliment, coming from someone with a past like you, warrior princess. Well, at least he went out in style. Despite everything, I'll miss him. And of course, the opportunities we might have had together."
"What do you mean?" demanded Gabrielle.
"I mean, he finally started killing. Soon enough, he would have begun to enjoy it, just like I did. Can you imagine the two of us together? Jett and Joxer, the twin assassins. Nothing could have stopped us."
"You're insane. Joxer was nothing like you, he would never have -"
Jett cut Gabrielle off, saying with a sneer, "That's where you're wrong, bard. I was part of him, and he was part of me - I knew my brother better than he knew himself. You think I was always this way? ALL the men in our family are killers - Joxer was just a bit slow to catch up with the rest of us. In time, he really could have become me." He continued to grin at her in that satanic manner.
Xena had had enough. "Guards!" she called out.
Before the guardsmen grabbed him and dragged him away, Jett said as a parting shot, "If I see him in Tartarus, I'll tell him about this, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear how much you really do care!"
Gabrielle looked at Xena and said, "What did he mean by that?"
Xena looked uncomfortable. "It doesn't matter. We shouldn't listen to anything he says, everything that comes out of his mouth is -"
Gabrielle interrupted her, which was not something she often did. "No, it does matter. Xena, please don't lie to me. What was he talking about?"
Suddenly, Xena realized that Joxer was gone now, and couldn't be embarrassed by what she had to say any more. She sighed and said, "He loved you, Gabrielle."
"I know, Xena, but what -"
"You haven't understood me," Xena said more firmly. "HE - LOVED - YOU."
Gabrielle went pale. "What? But he, he never -"
"Told you?" Xena said wryly. "What was the point? He understood how you felt about him. And about Perdicus, before and after your husband was murdered. Gabrielle, it was none of my business, but I thought it was pretty obvious from the way he kept following us around."
"How did Jett know?"
Xena grimaced. "Despite everything, Joxer WAS his brother," she said grudgingly. "Family is usually able to pick up things like that. Come to think of it, I'd say maybe your parents and your sister Lila suspected it as well."
Gabrielle looked astonished. "Did everyone know about this except me?" she demanded.
"Probably," Xena said with a fleeting grin that vanished almost at once. She grabbed her friend by the shoulders and told her, "Look, Gabrielle, like I said, it doesn't matter any more. What does matter is that Joxer became the hero he always wanted to be, and I'm sure he's in the Elysian fields now. All we can do is honor his memory, and look forward to seeing him again when our own time comes." Xena embraced her, and for the first time Gabrielle let go and cried for the death of their friend.
***
Joxer's life for the next five years was very busy. At first bewildered and confused, it took a long time for him to accept his new situation. The Guardian who had saved his life did not tell him where he was, or anything else about the place he now found himself in, which didn't exactly help his state of mind.
His time was spent learning everything the Guardians could teach him. Initially he was sullen, and did not want to cooperate; but his curiosity eventually overwhelmed him, and he found himself completely absorbed in the information provided by his saviors.
He was taught languages first; the native language of the Guardians, and then various others. He then read human history, or as much of it as he was allowed to know; from over five thousand years before he was born, to thousands of years into his future.
To that end he received a thorough education in things unknown to the people of his time, especially about the ability of the Guardians to time-travel. He found the latter fascinating, as even in his own era he had heard of such things as the Chronos Stone, but now he understood it in a way he could never have done before.
Then slowly enough in stages, so as to prevent his body from destroying itself, the Guardians magically endowed him with super-human hearing, vision, and speed. Eventually they also succeeded in making him master many new skills, including combat with weapons from various ages, and a hypnotic ability similar to that possessed by some of the Amazons.
One day a Guardian appeared before him, and told him, "The time has come." Joxer was confused and said, "What do you mean?"
The Guardian replied, "This phase of your training is over. It is time to progress to the next level."
Joxer was still confused. "I don't get it."
The Guardian simply said, "It will be explained to you. Come with me."
The two of them left the room in a flash of light, and reappeared in a 20th century style office. The Guardian looked at the occupant of the room, and simply said, "You may proceed," before vanishing again.
Joxer and the other man looked at each other silently, sizing each other up. The man who had once called himself Sampetrius was astonished at the changes in Joxer, despite having organized part of the program himself. The foolish, stumbling young man he had met at Meg's brothel had been replaced with a keen-eyed, quick-witted and physically dangerous Watcher-to-be.
"Who are you?" asked Joxer.
The man was not surprised that Joxer didn't remember him. From his point of view, it had only been a few days, but Joxer had been trained in another time as had the other eleven Watcher candidates, and many years had elapsed. "You can call me Primus," he said.
Joxer frowned. "Somehow, I get the feeling that isn't your real name," he replied.
Primus laughed. "You're right about that," he said, "but that's what it says on my ID around here anyway."
Joxer looked at him, and then at the office carefully. "You're from the late 20th century or thereabouts, right?"
Primus said smiling, "Very good. Now let me ask you something - what do you want to know first?"
For the first time, Joxer looked confused. "Huh?"
Primus laughed again. "Come on, kid, I know you've got questions. You've been wanting to find out what's really going on, ever since you were brought here way back when. So let's cut to the chase. Ask away."
Joxer looked at him and said slowly, "Why did you people save my life and bring me here? I mean - why really?"
Primus burst out laughing. "I KNEW that was coming! Every Watcher asks that, and most of them ask it first up when they come into this office."
Joxer said in confusion, "Watcher?"
Primus replied, "That's what your job description is now, kid. At least, it will be when you're fully trained. It's why you're here. Look, the Watchers are people that should have died but didn't, thanks to the Guardians. They choose someone they want, wait till they're about to die, and then bring them here to be trained up to the job requirements. That's the reason why you were saved from that Roman - the Guardians were convinced there was a great deal of potential in you." He paused. "Granted, there was a great deal of weakness as well. They just - removed the weaknesses."
"So, what am I supposed to do as a - a Watcher?"
"Well, basically we're the ones the Guardians use to watch over and protect the integrity of human history. Nowadays we also go after the people who are hiding in the past, criminals trying to disrupt history for their own personal gain."
Joxer looked confused. "But why do the Guardians bother with other people? Why not do everything themselves?"
Primus shrugged. "They told me that beyond a certain point in time they can't stay in the past very long, and they won't explain why. Bottom line, kid, is that they do need us. So, here we are."
"I see," Joxer said, "And who exactly ARE the Guardians?"
Primus grimaced and said, "They SAY they're a brotherhood of immortal magicians that can travel anywhere they like, in any time they want. Where and when they come from, nobody knows. They have no individual names; they all just call themselves the Guardians."
"How long have you been working for them?"
Primus laughed again. "Now that's a good question! I've gone backwards and forwards in time so often, there's no way I can tell. How old do I look to you?"
Joxer shrugged, "In your fifties, or sixties maybe."
Primus looked astonished. "That old? Seems like only yesterday I was a punk kid in 'Nam. Sheesh, where did all the time go?"
"Speaking of time," Joxer interrupted him, "just what year is this?"
"That's another thing I don't know," Primus said flatly. "Where we are, when we are, there's no way we can know and no way we can do anything to find out. Believe me, I was one of the first they chose, I spent years asking and trying to learn the answers. It doesn't get you anywhere. Anyway, let's get down to business."
Joxer asked, "What do you mean?"
Primus said, "Have you ever wondered if there were others like you?"
"Yeah, sure I did. The first Guardian I met even said that I'd be meeting others like me. But I never did - and eventually I just stopped thinking about it, there was so much to learn -"
"That was a mistake," Primus said. "I don't know if they told you, but there are eleven others who were taken at the same time you were, and trained like you. You need to start working with them."
"Doing what?"
"Well, the thing is sometimes the Watchers have to act as a unit, especially if something goes wrong in the past. Up until now, you've been trained solo, and so have the others. You have to learn to work as a team."
"When do we get started?"
"Soon," Primus said reflectively. "Before the action begins though, you should get to know each other. That's why we're having a little get-together for your group. Oh yeah, when you get there, don't use your real name."
Joxer said in confusion, "Why not?"
Primus replied, "For you own security. Look, from now on, all of you have to use a code name just like me. If anything ever goes wrong in your future, and anyone in the past discovers what you are, there should be no traces to the life you originally had. Otherwise a time paradox might occur, and the whole Universe might go up with a bang. So, call yourself something else from now on, understand?"
***
Joxer materialized in the room at the same time as the others, and they all looked at one another. They were all dressed in uniform, black jumpsuits and combat boots, with the top half of their bodies covered by black body armor. There were roughly equal numbers of men and women, representing all the different races of mankind, throughout the ages of human civilization. But whatever their origins, they now looked remarkably alike; both mentally and physically.
One of their number stepped forward, and with a cocky grin said, "Hi there, I'm Aleph. Nice to meet you all. I need a drink." He went straight to the punch bowl and drinks trolley in the center of the room, and started to help himself.
This broke the ice, and the rest gathered round as well, starting to chat and get to know one another. Joxer found himself in line behind a blonde woman, who gave him a smile when they got their drinks.
"Hi, I'm Dia," she said to him.
"Hello," he replied, a little uncomfortable. "I, uh, haven't picked a name yet."
She shrugged. "No hurry, I suppose," she said easily, "but still, I bet we'll have one picked out for you before the evening's over."
"Maybe."
They were chatting near a wall when Aleph wandered over and joined them. "Now, what are you two doing here all alone?" he asked in mock anger, wagging his finger. "This is supposed to be a party, and you should mingle!"
"Hello, Aleph," Dia said with a smile. "I'm Dia."
"I'm delighted to meet such a charming lady like yourself."
"You can save the flattery, friend," she said with a grin.
"Can't blame a man for trying," he said grinning himself. He turned to Joxer and said, "How about you, buddy?"
Joxer shrugged. "Uh, I haven't chosen a name yet. Any ideas?"
He laughed. "Sorry. In that department, I'm afraid I'm not exactly what Primus calls the seventh cavalry, whatever that is!"
Dia said, "Hey, that's perfect! We'll call you Seven."
Joxer thought about it for a moment and said, "Septos."
"Huh?" both his companions said.
"My name's going to be Septos. In my language, that's as close as the word translates as."
Aleph decided to toast the decision. "Good enough for me. Let's celebrate!" he drank the entire glass of wine in one gulp and then belched loudly, to the amusement of the others. As the evening wore on, despite their differences all twelve formed bonds of friendship.
***
The new band of Watcher trainees practiced together for two weeks, before the Guardians decided they were ready for the next stage. They learned that whenever they departed from their home base, wherever and whenever it was, the Watchers were subjected to the magic of the Guardians, so that they could speak and act as natives of whatever time they were sent to.
To that end the final training included being sent to many different times and places, with a veteran Watcher. Joxer performed his tasks well, even though some of the wars and other atrocities he continually witnessed often sickened him.
At the end of it all, the squad of Watchers learned that they had each passed the tests; from now on, they were to be sent back into the past alone, taking part in the duty to monitor and safeguard the important events in human history.
"You're sending me WHEN?!"
Joxer looked at Primus in amazement, and the old man just shook his head. "I know, I know. One of the places we have to monitor is in the time only a few months after your `death'. I suggest you keep your head down and maintain a low profile. Luckily you'll be in Roman Italy and not Greece, so the chances you'll be recognized are lower than they could have been."
"This is crazy! Why not send someone else?"
"Well, we're spread thin, and you ARE the most familiar with the time period."
"What was it you said to me about a time paradox, and the Universe being destroyed?"
"Yeah, yeah. Get used to it, you're going to the time when Brutus assassinates Julius Caesar. We have information that some of the criminals I told you about might be in the area as well, so you also have to keep a lookout for them."
Joxer put his hands on his face briefly and said, "Maybe I would have been better off if that Roman had simply killed me all those years ago."
Primus laughed and said, "Tell me about it. Oh, one other thing." He went over to his desk, and pulled out a strange-looking stubby weapon, with a big muzzle. He tossed it to Joxer, who caught it deftly. "Take this."
"What is it?"
"It's my old piece, it's called a beamer. Fires super-powerful projectiles or high-energy laser beams. Keep it out of sight until you're in the past, and make sure you get some practice with it before you need to use it. Watch your back, kid. Good luck."
***
Xena and Gabrielle were travelling with Xena's horse Argo on their way to Rome, and Xena was worried about her friend. She still hadn't gotten over the death of Joxer a few months before, and now she hardly ever smiled, and was talking a lot less than she used to.
"Gabrielle?" she said.
"What?"
"You've been awfully quiet the entire trip."
She shrugged. "Just thinking, I guess."
"About what?"
Gabrielle kicked some dirt on the road she and Xena were walking on. Eventually she said, "Xena, do you think I was cursed by the Gods?"
Xena stopped and stared at her in shock. "Why would you say that?!"
"I don't know, I just - I mean, the way two men fall in love with me, and they both end up dead -"
Xena grabbed her by the shoulders. "No, you are not cursed!" she said urgently. "Listen Gabrielle, I know what happened was a tragedy, but you have to put it behind you. Do you think Joxer would have wanted you to be thinking like this?"
She shook her head. "No, of course not," she said, as they began walking again. With a slight smile she said, "You know, this is exactly the sort of thing he would have loved to accompany us on. I can just imagine him here stumbling over his own feet, singing that stupid song of his, `Joxer the Mighty', and I'd get so mad I'd want to pull his nose off -"
"I hate to interrupt your thoughts of what you'd do to Joxer," said Xena dryly, "but I suggest we get moving if we want to make it to Rome by nightfall."
"What's the plan, when we get there?"
"I'm not sure yet, it depends on what we find is going on. If the rumors of the new weapons Caesar has developed to conquer Greece are true, we have to destroy them, and the plans as well."
***
(Caesar's palace, Rome, 44 BC)
"You know what to do?"
The young man looked at his companion and replied in the language of the Guardians, "Of course. Brutus will never know what him, and Caesar will be safe and manageable for the rest of his life."
The first man grabbed him by the throat and threw him up against the wall. "Don't - speak - that - language," he hissed.
His comrade looked scared, and said, "But -"
"It's too risky! Never speak it again, not even in your sleep!"
He nodded submissively. "Okay."
The other man let him go, and said, "Good. Now, get going. We've spent ages fitting in here, learning the customs and the language, since we don't have those damned enchantments of the Guardians any more. I don't want to have to start somewhere fresh, not after all this time preparing for our plan. So don't screw this up."
***
Joxer was finding this assignment disturbing, for a number of reasons. For one thing, it had brought back too many bad memories of his old life. In addition, he knew that Xena and Gabrielle were not far away, in space and time. The temptation to seek them out was still there, despite all the efforts of the Guardians to eliminate it.
He was also starting to get restless. He had been trained to be patient, but there were limits to human endurance, even for Watchers. There had been no sign of other people from the future, and now the time had come for him to watch Caesar's assassination, to make sure nothing went wrong.
He thought to himself, `Okay, let's begin with a few assumptions. One, those criminals actually are here, or else this will be all just routine. Two, they'll want to change something, for their own personal gain. Three, it'll be big, as the greater the risk, the greater the glory, as Xena always used to say about Caesar...'
He stopped, shocked at where his thoughts had taken him. Suddenly he just KNEW what was about to happen. Caesar's death - they would try to prevent it. At the edges of the crowd, he started to look around frantically.
There were a number of high places an assassin might wait. He understood that although Caesar's guards were not stupid, they could not defend their masters against technology that was utterly beyond them. They had covered all the places from which a crossbow or javelin might be used, but a high-powered rifle or worse could be used from much further away.
Joxer estimated angles and trajectories in his head, glancing at the balcony at which Caesar and Brutus and the others were expected at any moment. Suddenly he saw the barrel of a rifle appear on the roof of one of the buildings, along with the profile of the sniper.
Joxer ran, starting to panic, trying to get somewhere where he could take the man out, without being seen and before the other man could kill Brutus.
A great roar erupted from the crowd, and Joxer knew this was his chance. While everyone was focused on the palace balcony and its occupants, from a semi-concealed area he took aim with the beamer Primus had given him, and fired at the target. He was deadly accurate, and the man simply vanished in a burst of light and sound.
Suddenly, people started screaming; for a moment Joxer thought he had been seen, then he realized that Caesar had been stabbed, just as history had recorded he had been. Joxer hadn't forgotten what the man had done to Xena and Gabrielle, and just this once didn't feel too bad about what had happened. All he had to do now was get the other criminal before the man left the time period, and this assignment would be over.
***
Xena and Gabrielle were in the midst of the crowd that had gone mad, and were desperately trying to stick together.
"If we get separated, meet me back at the campsite tonight!" Xena shouted desperately.
"Okay! Be careful!" Gabrielle screamed back over the din.
Xena disappeared in the crowd, and Gabrielle had no idea if she'd been heard. All she could do was be driven along with the rest of the mob, and hope for the best.
Finally things began to wind down, and she found herself in an old part of the city. Then, she saw something she could not believe. The sight of Joxer, dressed in a dirty white tunic, running after what appeared to be someone dressed as a nobleman.
She charged after them, but lost them in the crowds that were still fairly thick. She came to a filthy alley, and was standing there alone in the passageway when both men appeared at either end. She saw Joxer, and the first thing she could think of to say in wonder was, "How the - is that really you?"
Joxer's eyes went huge. He couldn't believe it, any more than she could. The mere sight of her brought back feelings he'd thought were dead and gone. Then he remembered why he was here. `SHIT SHIT SHIT!' he thought frantically to himself. He glanced at the other man, and drawing his weapon he shouted at her, "GET DOWN!"
The warning was only just in time, as suddenly weapons fire from TWO beamers started tearing apart the alley in a series of explosions. Joxer grabbed Gabrielle, and pulled her to relative safety behind some piles of rubbish in the alley, and continued shooting.
Gabrielle was still looking at him as if hypnotized. "I don't believe this! Jo -"
"Don't speak that name - he might hear it!" he hissed at her.
Gabrielle blinked in surprise. All of a sudden, she noticed things she had missed before. This man looked older than Joxer had been, his demeanor grimmer and more focused, and his body more fit and muscular. In many ways he reminded her of Perdicus, just before they had gotten married. "Who are you? Can I help?" she asked.
Joxer looked at her and said desperately, "Please, Gabby, just stay down and keep quiet! This isn't your fight."
Gabrielle was stunned. At first, she had thought he was merely a look-alike or possibly a relative, but now she KNEW this was Joxer. The man she and Xena had seen die. No one else had ever called her...that name. She joyfully made the only conclusion possible to someone of her time - that the Gods had resurrected him.
All of a sudden, the shooting stopped; both men had run out of ammunition. Suddenly Gabrielle heard shouting in a language she didn't understand.
"Listen to me, Watcher!" the nobleman-impostor yelled in the language of the Guardians. "I'm out of time and weapons and my guess is, so are you! I propose we meet face to face and settle this!"
Joxer contemplated these words, and although he was sure of treachery he had no other choice. Others apart from Gabrielle might come, which would lead to disaster. This had to be finished NOW. "Okay, I'm coming!" he shouted back.
Gabrielle was even more surprised to Joxer speak the same language. He then turned to her and said, "If I don't make it back, take this somewhere far away and destroy it." He gave her the beamer. He paused uncomfortably, then remarked, "Gabrielle, I just wanted to say -"
"No way!" she said looking at him in anxiety, "Don't you dare make me lose you again!"
He smiled at her then, a smile full of pain and pity. She didn't understand it. Suddenly he kissed her, just as he had when he was under that spell of Aphrodite with the bell, many years before. It left her breathless, and without another word he went off to tackle his opponent. She made a small sound of surprise and reached out in confusion as he left, but she was too late to stop him.
***
Joxer faced his enemy, as they advanced down the alley. "You're no ordinary criminal," he said in the language of the Guardians.
His opponent laughed, and answered in the same tongue. "How are things for you people in the Watcher corps these days? Reached the suicidal depression stage yet?"
Joxer ignored that, and simply said, "Who are you?"
Still laughing, the man said, "Call me Citizen X. After all, neither of us are supposed to exist here. You?"
"I'm known as Septos. If you were one of us, why did you betray the Guardians?"
Mr. X stopped laughing, and gave him a murderous glare. "They stole my life, I was slaving away for them when your mother was still feeding you. By the way, you surprised me with that beamer; I thought that they were supposed to be a forbidden weapon for the Watchers now. So, how's the old bastard doing?"
"If you mean Primus, he's alive and well."
Another laugh. "If you live, tell him from me that he's too late. Our people are everywhere."
"You can tell him yourself when I bring you back."
Another glare. "Either I'll kill you or you'll kill me. But even if I die here today, there are lots of others that can take my place. We even call ourselves the Others now. We've recruited from history just like the Guardians do. The day will come, when all of you damn Watchers and history as you know it will be dead."
He started laughing again, and then pulled out a knife and attacked Joxer. There was no time for thought; his Watcher reflexes kicked in, and pulling out his own knife Joxer fought for his life.
***
Gabrielle watched in amazement as they conversed in that strange language, and then suddenly without warning attacked each other. The speed of the two opponents was inhumanly fast - it looked like a nightmare blur, as they probed and slashed at one another. Her doubts suddenly resurfaced, about whether this really was Joxer: at least, the one she had known.
Suddenly it was over, and both men were lying on the ground. Citizen X was dead, with a knife through his rib cage, and Joxer had a terrible wound in his side, which was bleeding badly. She quickly went over to him, and tried to stop the flow of blood.
"Gabrielle," he said weakly, "Get his weapon, it's like mine."
"But -"
"And take this," he fumbled something out of his tunic, that looked like a flat circular disk with a glowing red light in the center. "Press it against his body. Hard."
"What?" It was too late; he had passed out.
"What's going on here?" a voice said at the end of the alley. Gabrielle looked up and saw the dark-haired figure of Xena, and almost wept for joy. "Xena!" she called.
Xena came up to them, and her eyes bulged. "Is that -?"
"I think so!" Gabrielle said. "Take over for me."
Xena did so, and Gabrielle did as she'd been told. As soon as the disk was pressed down, the light started blinking rapidly, and all of a sudden Gabrielle jumped back as the corpse burst into flames. Almost immediately they disappeared, leaving only a few scattered ashes.
In the meantime, Xena had continued to look after Joxer, and at that moment he regained consciousness. "Is it done?"
"Yes," said Gabrielle.
"Good," he gasped, "Now take me to the inn at the north end of the city, the one near the main gates."
"We have to take you to a healer!" Xena said emphatically.
"NO!" he suddenly shouted. It seemed to drain him, and he could only manage a feeble "Please." He collapsed again.
Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other, and the blonde-haired Amazon Queen said, "We better do as he says."
Xena looked at her in astonishment. "But Gabrielle -"
Gabrielle interrupted her. "Xena, I don't know what's going on, but he saved me, and I know he was willing to die for his cause. It's the least we can do for him."
Xena just shrugged, and they carried him back to his room at the inn, along with the beamers. Gabrielle filled Xena in on what had happened on the way. He woke up again briefly, and told them where to find the magical signaling device and how to activate it in a certain way.
All of a sudden, there was a flash of light, and the room was filled with black-clad men and women with strange weapons, that looked a little like the one Joxer had had. Immediately Primus went up to Joxer and yelled out, "Medic!" One of the men came up and examined him quickly, and used a gun-like device to inject something into his neck.
Immediately Joxer woke up, in terrible pain. Primus shouted, "Septos, what happened!?"
Joxer gurgled, "Mission...accomplished..."
Primus looked at Xena and Gabrielle. "What about these natives?"
"Seen...everything..." and then he became unconscious again.
"Sir, we're losing him!" said the medic.
"Goddamn it!" Primus cursed. "Get him to the Guardians, now! Clean up the mess, and let's get out of here!"
"What about them?" His second-in-command pointed at the two Greek women.
"How should I know? From what he said they're too badly exposed to the truth for us to just leave 'em here. We take them with us, let the Guardians sort it out."
"Yes sir." He turned around and barked orders at the troops. Xena and Gabrielle didn't understand the language, but they knew something was up. Suddenly they were surrounded, and Xena drew her sword.
One of the women, a blonde in black uniform and armor came up and said in the native language of the region, "Don't worry, we won't harm you. Who are you?"
"I'm Gabrielle, and this is Xena," Gabrielle replied.
Only Xena saw the start of surprised recognition on Dia's face; and before she could drop an expressionless mask into place, the momentary look of dislike. She wondered again what was going on.
"Do it," she said to the others. The darts hit home, and both women dropped to the floor at once. They were scooped up, and in moments the room was clean of blood. Everyone vanished in a swirl of light, and there was no evidence of human occupation in the room, apart from the money left on the table to settle the bill.
***
Both Joxer and Primus stood in their regulation black uniforms before a tribunal of Guardians. One of the immortals said, "Sam Peters, step forward."
Joxer looked at him sharply, and sucked in his breath. "Sampetrius?" he whispered in amazement.
"Shush!" his companion whispered back, before moving forward.
"You are charged with violating the rules concerning weapons transport into the past. What have you to say in your defense?"
He shrugged. "Nothing. I knew you wouldn't approve, so I couldn't tell you."
"Be more precise."
"Well, I did what I had to do. It got the job done, didn't it?" Primus said with a touch of belligerence. "If I hadn't done it, our Watcher on-site wouldn't have stopped them, and none of us would even be here right now, most likely."
One of the Guardians said, "Your arguments are logical if circular. But the dangers of that model of weapon in the past far outweigh the possible benefits, and there is the matter of principle to consider. If our Watchers start doing whatever they please, where will it end? They would be no different from those they pursue."
"Now just a minute!" burst out Joxer.
"Be silent." All the Guardians said simultaneously. The one who had been speaking before continued, "What punishment would you recommend for yourself?"
Primus shrugged. "You could always retire me. What would you prefer, with a pension, or with a casket?"
There was a silence. Eventually one of the Guardians said, "We will take that under advisement. Joxer, step forward."
Joxer did so, trying not to show his nervousness. "You are charged with the above offence and with violating the rules of Watcher conduct while on assignment in the past. What have you to say?"
Joxer hesitated, and said, "Hey, I'm sorry for trying to save my own life."
The Guardian frowned. "We will not tolerate disrespect."
Joxer said hurriedly, "Uh, no offense, but don't we have more important things to worry about? Citizen X said there are lots of people like him now, and that the Others are mobilizing against us. We're going to need every able-bodied Watcher we can get, and preferably more as soon as possible!"
"That is certainly true, but it does not change the fact that due to your actions, the destinies of this Xena and Gabrielle may have been significantly altered. History has been changed, unless we can undo the damage."
"Okay. Okay. Look, I'll talk to them, they're my friends and they trust me. I'll convince them it was all a dream or something -"
"Enchanting their memories would be more effective."
Joxer was aghast. "You can't mess with their minds like that! Who knows what other vital memories you might destroy? My way is better. Please. I'll submit to any punishment you want, but I won't let them be hurt -"
The Guardians looked at him gravely. "Your affection for these two is as strong as the day we found you. The training procedures will have to be modified."
"Whatever. So?"
The tribunal members looked at each other, communicating silently. "It is agreed. Your sentencing will be suspended for the duration of the emergency, as long as their destiny is returned back to what it should have been."
"Thank you."
***
Dia worked quickly and efficiently, reviving Xena and Gabrielle who had been kept sedated throughout the hearing. Immediately they got up and looked around warily at her and the empty white room.
"What's going on?" Xena asked straightaway.
"Don't worry, you're both safe," Dia said calmly. "Pretty soon, we're going to be sending you back to where you came from."
"What about our friend, is he all right?" said Gabrielle.
"Yes," Dia replied. "Septos is fully recovered now."
"Septos?" said Gabrielle in puzzlement. "That's not a name, it's a number! Why are you calling him that instead of -"
"I don't want to know that name!" Dia shouted, interrupting her.
Xena gave a small smile, as some of the pieces began to fall into place for her. "You don't like us much, do you?"
Dia looked at her expressionlessly. "That's irrelevant."
"Not to you, it isn't." She started to walk around, staring at Dia. "He told you about us, didn't he? Everything we went through together, how the three of us felt about each other -"
Dia interrupted her. "I don't care about any of that. Whoever or whatever he may have been before, he's one of us now, a Watcher. We're like family."
"Is that all?" Xena gave a small smirk.
Dia flushed. "I don't have to explain myself to you. He'll be here soon, you can ask him yourself."
Just then Joxer and one of the Guardians appeared in a blaze of light. "Proceed without delay," said the Guardian and vanished again.
They stared at the black uniform he was wearing, the same as Dia's. Then Gabrielle ran up to him and embraced him. "Thank the Gods, you're safe!" she cried.
Xena couldn't help watching the other woman, and noted with a small smile the signs of jealousy that she fought to hide. "Uh - Septos," Xena said stumbling over the new name, "I think we need to talk."
Joxer disengaged from Gabrielle and nodded. "You're right, Xena. Uh, Dia," he turned to his fellow Watcher, "could you give us a few minutes?"
She shook her head. "Both of us have to be in here -"
"Please."
Dia looked at him. "If it was anybody else -" she turned and left.
"Joxer - is it really YOU?" Gabrielle asked.
He sighed, and said, "Yeah, Gabby, it's me."
"But how - why? What have you -"
Joxer interrupted her. "Look, I can't explain, so don't start asking me a bunch of questions I'm not allowed to answer. I - I've changed -"
"We've noticed," said Xena wryly.
Joxer gave a small chuckle. "I've really missed this sort of thing with you two. The thing is though, I'm in trouble now because you got involved back there in that business in Rome."
Gabrielle frowned. "What can we do to help?"
Joxer stared at her. "For starters, you have to forget that I'm still alive."
"No!"
"Look Gabrielle, it's not like any of us have a choice here -"
"Joxer, listen to me," said Xena, "If I'm right, it's been a long time for you, since you - went away from us. Everything from your age to your abilities tells me that. But you've got to understand, for us it's only been a short time since you d - uh, left. It hit Gabrielle pretty hard -"
"Xena!" Gabrielle exclaimed.
"Oh, don't deny it. You've been like a Spartan without a war to fight. The point is, seeing you again has finally brought her back to the way she was. I don't want to lose that."
"I see," Joxer mused. "All right, I think I can do something about that. When you go back, you won't remember what's happened; but, I can hypnotize you to believe that everything's okay, that you saw me in a dream as a visitor from the other side and -"
"I don't understand!" exclaimed Gabrielle, starting to pace around. "Why are you doing this? Why don't you just come back home with us?"
"Gabby," he sighed, "it isn't that simple. I'm needed here - now more than ever. Crazy as it may seem, I chose this - I mean, I WAS supposed to die that day, in the fight with those Romans. The thing is, I just don't belong there any more, I've seen and learned too much. I mean, could you go back to being a simple village girl after everything you've been through with Xena?"
Gabrielle looked stubborn. "I don't care! You belong with us, and you should come home!"
"Gabrielle!" said Xena sharply. She turned to Joxer and said, "There's something I have to tell you - she knows."
"Knows what?"
"Joxer!" Xena said in exasperation. "Think!"
All of a sudden Joxer blushed, and said, "Oh."
There was an embarrassed silence, and then Gabrielle went up to him and said, "Why didn't you ever tell me, that you loved me?"
Joxer squirmed, "Gabby, what I was like back then...well, I don't need to tell the two of you about THAT. I knew you weren't interested in a bumbling conceited idiot -"
"How do you know for sure that's how I felt?" she shot back.
"Oh come on, don't you remember what happened when you were shot with Cupid's arrow? I mean, what you said afterwards when the effects wore off?"
It was Gabrielle's turn to squirm. "Sure, bring that up!"
"Look," Joxer said firmly, "despite how I may feel, especially about you Gabrielle, I have to do what's right. That means fixing the damage I caused. Please, for the sake of our friendship, do it as a favor for me. You can't remember any of this, and I can't come back with you." He stared at them hard. "That's just the way it has to be."
Xena looked at this man in his strange black armor, and realized just how far he had come from his foolish ways. This was a man she respected, in a way she never did with the old Joxer. She reached out and clasped arms with him. "All right."
"Xena, no!" cried out Gabrielle.
"Gabrielle, think about it..." Xena said sternly.
Gabrielle looked at him. "Will we ever see you again?"
Joxer shrugged. "Who knows? Anything's possible. Maybe one day, in the future."
Gabrielle's shoulders slumped. "Okay," she said dully.
Joxer embraced her. "I promise, when you wake up, you'll feel much better," he told her. "Goodbye, my friends." He took out a white glowing crystal and held it before them. As their eyes glazed over, he started to speak slowly. "Now listen to me very carefully..."
***
It was a few moments after they had left when Xena and Gabrielle jerked up awake in the alley at the same moment, although strangely neither of them could remember falling asleep. Gabrielle looked at her friend and said, "Xena, I had the strangest dream -"
"Yeah, so did I -"
***
Joxer sat at a table alone, with a half-eaten meal. Dia came over and joined him. "You okay?" she asked.
"I guess so," he replied vaguely.
"You miss them, don't you." she stated rather than asked.
"Yeah. But we'll be together again someday, somehow. I hope so, anyway."
"Until then?"
He shrugged. "Business as usual. Watch over history, and go after the Others. At least, until the Guardians decide I'm no longer necessary, and they get rid of me."
She said earnestly, "Over my dead body."
Joxer smiled, and reached over and hugged her. "Thanks, Dia. I'm lucky to have such a good friend as you."
Making sure Joxer was unable to see her face, she grimaced at his blindness, and said, "Yeah, me too."
- THE END -
***** Xena and Gabrielle suffered no permanent injuries from being sedated or hypnotized, and neither did Joxer from getting stabbed, in the writing of this fanfic. Hope you liked it! If you have a spare moment please e-mail me with your comments at: theop@kew.starway.net.au.
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