~ Death Bringer ~
by T.C. O'Neill
Disclaimers:
Characters from Xena, Warrior Princess are the property of the very cool folks at MCA/Universal/Renaissance. No copyright infringement is intended. No legal problems are desired with anybody. This writing is not intended to generate revenue. At best, it is meant to be a pleasant read for you and therapy for me. Some of the characters are of my own creation and may be used by fellow bards. If you have any suggestions, questions, opinions you would like to share, you may email me at OneillTC1949@aol.com. I would enjoy hearing from you.
Historical Accuracy Alert:
I do not claim to have correctly linked happening in this story to any actual historical facts or plot lines from Xena, Warrior Princess. For example, in my story Caesar let Jett out of prison. Purest of the television series will note that Jett was not in a Roman prison. Therefore, Caesar did not have the power to arrange his release. I also have Caesar sending Jett to Egypt to assassinate Pompey. History tells us that in a bid to gain Roman's support, Cleopatra's brother actually had Pompey killed. A true Xena fan should not be discouraged by the minor liberties I have taken.
For You Joxerphobes:
The central character in this story is Virgil. Joxer is not in this story. However, he was Virgil's dad and Virgil talks about him from time to time, mostly at the beginning. Joxer's brother Jett is in the story. I don't like Eve so she isn't in it. Besides, there is only room for one crazy chick and the Gabster gets the part.
Sexual Content Alert:
Yes, there is sexual content, but only because it advances the plot. Well, that's a lie, there is plenty of sex, both male/female and female/female. If you're under age, stop here. If the laws where you live prohibit any writings or reading of a sexual nature, stop here and seriously consider moving to someplace normal.
Understanding Virgil:
As Ares said, "That Virgil is one angry guy." Virgil is a little cynical and at times a little full of himself, but give him a chance. After all he's a guy, right? He has mixed emotions about Gabrielle. He's attracted to her but pretty much blames her in part for his father's death. I guess it's the old love/hate thing. He comes across with a negative vibe at times, but basically he's a pretty cool dude. Virgil is a reluctant hero. He snickers at the notion of doing things for the "Greater Good", but finds himself helping others and doing the right thing because he's a decent person at heart.
This story takes place after the series final "A Friend In Need", the last episode of Xena, Warrior Princess. As you may recall, Xena was killed in Japan (Japa) and Gabrielle was left alone. Well, not exactly alone. The sprit of Xena is still at Gabrielle's side.
Joxer's son Virgil tells this story. If you have read my first story, "Transformation", you know that Virgil has a different prospective regarding Xena and Gabrielle. Virgil is not a charter member of the Xena/Gabrielle fan club.
Oh, I did mention Gabrielle is insane?
Death Bringer
(Part One)
By T.C. O'Neill
Completed July 26, 2003
My name is Virgil. Yes, the Virgil, son of the great man himself, Joxer.
I must admit I had every advantage growing up. It would be hard not to when your father was one of the most respected and wealthiest men in all of Greece. My brothers and sisters and I grew up in two very different homes. We had our home in Athens that was really a small palace with its great halls for entertaining and highly polished marble floors. My mother dedicated as much time to it's decorating as most people spend tilling their fields or selling their wears in a market stall.
Mother was a sucker for any talented painter that would arrive at the door with a completed painting depicting one of my father's adventures. She would haggle but always paid a king's ransom for them. The grateful people of Greece presented the Athens home to my father. Dad didn't really care much for our Athenian palace. He hated the slick marble floors in particular. At least once a day he would slip on the marble floors and land sitting on his butt. "A man needs a porous floor to walk on, so he doesn't slip." He always said.
My mother's pride and joy was not in our home. It stood in a little park across the street from our home. It was a life size statue of my father mounted atop a warhorse urging his troops to follow him into battle. A small scroll engraved in the base read "Joxer, Protector of Greece".
Every morning at the crack of dawn my mother would dispatch members of the household staff with ladders, buckets and cleaning products to scrub the pigeon dropping off the statue. My father would laugh as he watched my mother lead her troop across the street and call to her, "Well my dear, it seems the noble Grecian pigeons do not hold your husband in very high esteem."
Then there was our country home. It was not really a private home but more of an inn.
My father loved the county place. He and a legion of his army buddies build it in one summer season. It was here that my father labored day and night waiting tables, chopping wood and stabling horses. My mother, a master chef, ran the kitchen serving up excellent meals for the inn's guest. Both paying and nonpaying guest ate well.
The nonpaying guest drove my mother to distraction. "The whole point of an inn is to make money, Joxer. We loose money every time you put up one of these trail bums with his hat in his hand."
Dad would smile and tell her that if it weren't for these "trail bums" all of Greece would be paying taxes to Rome now. "Besides, my love, you have so many investments we could never be able to spend our income in a dozen lifetimes." he would add.
It was true. Dad loved to work with his hands or play his flute, both good endeavors for the soul, but not the pocketbook. Mother, on the other hand was all about the bottom line. She could smell profit. She had investments in everything from market stalls to plays.
It wasn't that she didn't have a heart of gold, because she did. It's just that she had grown up poor and knew the value of a dinar. Dad had traveled the world with never two dinars to rub together in his younger days. He would regale me with stories of how he was always being arrested for chicken theft. He was always laughing at himself. "That's right son, I'm Lord Joxer, partime protector of Greece and fulltime liberator of chickens."
I don't mean to give you the impression that dad was some sort of landed gentry. He was always being called away to drive off some warlord from a hapless village. Or, settle a dispute before two cities went to war. When I was a small child I would watch him exit his dressing room in full battledress just before going off on a campaign. He would pick me up and carry through the house and out into the courtyard where a number of warriors waited.
Placing me on the ground he would mount his horse and looking down at me and say, " Tell your mother to get the ransom money ready. I'm off to liberate more chickens." After a wink to me he would ride off with his troops. I would watch dad and his warriors ride until they were out of sight. Mother would come out of the house then and say, "C'mon Pumpkin, I'll tell you the story about the time your father recovered the Hinsblood dagger and saved Xena and Gabrielle." It seems that both my father and mother had a lot of adventures with the two women warriors.
Xena was an exact look alike for my mother. My mother and father were always getting the two women out of one jam or another. Dad had more adventures with them, because he traveled with them for years. I loved the stories. We even had a few scrolls written by Gabrielle. Gabrielle's stories always made Xena out to be the hero. I asked my mother about that and she explained that there were plenty of male heroes and with the exception of Xena, no women heroes. It was only fair to write of the good things Xena had done. It didn't matter if dad didn't get the credit for his deeds.
I disagreed. As soon as I was able to put quill to scroll, I began writing the stories of my father's adventures. As I grew older I realized that dad was not off stealing chickens when he would leave, but out on another adventure. Mother never let it show, but I would catch her looking out the window, watching for my father's return.
You see, father didn't have much choice, really. The Warrior Princess and the Battling Bard were killed when their wagon went off a cliff. The God Ares took their bodies away. My father saw him do it. This was not long after my father had stopped the Roman advance into Greece at the Amazon Forest. Dad had rallied the combined armies of the Greek city-states after a crushing defeat, suffered at the hands of Caesar's legion. Even the bard Gabrielle had to admit that dad was the hero that had saved the day and Greece. From that day on my father was known as the Protector of Greece. To the Amazons he was their only male champion and hero.
Whenever we were out in public, people would cheer when he approached. Kings and surfs alike would ask his advice. Everyone loved Joxer. Dad took it all in stride. It never went to his head. Sometimes, when I was a small boy, he would bend over and look me in the eyes and very seriously say, "You know Virgil there is a downside to all the notoriety."
"There is?" I would ask.
"Sure, if everybody knows who you are it's very hard to steal their chickens." Then he would stand to his full height and laugh at his own joke.
As time went on the adventures became less and less frequent. . My father was becoming an old man. My parents were working in the country inn one day. That is when the unexpected happened.
"Joxer" a voice said.
My father was very busy and yelled "What?" as he turned around. He froze on the spot. Standing before him were Xena and Gabrielle.
The two wasted no time in telling him the story of how they were frozen in ice. It was their turn to be shocked when dad informed them that it had been twenty-five years since they were last seen. He told them how Ares had carried them off. Dad had spent years searching for them. They both had lost some weight and were white as sheets but the incredible thing was that they had not aged a day.
My mother and father cared for them until they had regained their strength. Then they made plans to go on one of their missions. It seemed that the most infamous villain around was Xena's daughter Eve, a.k.a. Livia, the Bitch of Rome as most folks referred to her. The two women were going to redeem Eve/Livia and pretty much make the world a better place.
Joxer the old war-horse was in of course. It didn't matter that there was a whole company of renegade Roman elite soldiers with Livia. The three had no doubts they could deal with them when the time came. Just like the old days, no doubt. But unlike the old days my father was an old man. Xena and Gabrielle didn't seem to notice that, or they just didn't care. I insisted that I accompany them. My father believed that was an excellent idea. He thought it would be fun. Maybe he could teach me a thing or two.
It turned out not to be a very enjoyable campaign. My father was killed in an attempt to rescue Gabrielle. I think being frozen all those years had affected Gabrielle's brain. She waltzed onto Livia's camp to try to talk things out with the cold-blooded murder.
While I brought my father's body home to my mother, the warrior and the bard went on their merry way. Eve found religion and became all goodness and light. Too bad my father was the last person she killed.
I have mixed emotions about the two women. They were my father's friends and he loved them dearly. I even knew that they loved him in return. I just wish they had stayed dead.
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And So It Begins
It all started when my estranged uncle Jett called on our home in Athens. Uncle Jett was my late father's twin. It felt very strange, almost as if seeing a ghost to look at him. But, physical looks were where any resemblance ended. When my father was alive he would seem to always find something to smile about. Uncle Jett didn't smile so much as sneered. My father looked you in the eye. Uncle Jett's eyes were always looking around for the nearest exit or escape route, should it be needed.
My mother, Meg, never seemed to notice Jett's faults. But then again, she felt very strongly about family bonds. Mother had been on her own sense she was fourteen. Having no family life to speak of before she married my father and started her own family. Despite Jett's short coming, he was a prince compared to grandfather. Dear o'grand dad was a former warlord and probably one of the most evil men I have ever met. That is saying quit a bit, because I have met a lot of evil people in my time.
I often wondered how my father became such a great man considering his bloodline. Dad was the heralded "Protector of Greece". The man the mighty Amazons still sing tribute to, to this day and will for generations to come. It's as if all the virtue in our family flowed in my father's blood alone, but was denied to his kin.
I remember how Jett made a simple statement over dinner that changed my life forever.
"Oh, by the way, when I was in Egypt I saw Gabrielle." Uncle Jett was in Egypt on business. You see Jett is a professional assassin. In fact, he is known as the King of Assassins. His business trip involved tracking down and killing a Roman general names Pompey. Pompey was Caesar's rival for power in Rome. After being defeated in battle by Caesar, Pompey thought he could hide from Rome in Egypt.
Caesar was smart. He knew my uncle was in prison for attempting to kill none other then Cleopatra, the Queen of Egypt. Offering great riches and the release of my grandfather, also in prison, Caesar convinced Jett to apply the tools of his trade one more time. It was on his way home from completing his assignment that Jett ran into Gabrielle.
Jett and Gabrielle had had a quite dinner when she gave Jett the News. Xena was dead. The two women had been on one of their "missions" in Japan, when multiple arrows felled the great Xena. To make sure that she was really dead, the villains had beheaded her. Gabrielle had cremated her and carried Xena's ashes back from Japan.
"How is Gabrielle holding up?" my mother asked. Here was the woman most responsible for my father's death and mother was concerned with Gabrielle's well being.
Jett thought it over then said, "Not so good I think. She seems lost, without direction. She has change greatly. She?well?she scares me."
Mother and I looked at Jett in shock. Despite Jett's short coming, he was one of the bravest men you could ever meet. He had to be in his line of work. If Jett admitted fear of Gabrielle, she must really be a monster.
"Ah, c'mon Jett, your pull'en my leg now." Mother said.
"No Meg, she is now very different from the girl you knew. Remember when she just hit people with her staff? Well now it slice n' dice. She has a sword named Katana. The sword is made from the purest ore of some temple in Japan called Hakeman. Gabrielle told me that it would cut through any other kind of metal. I took her word for it, I didn't want to find out first hand."
"Wow!" mother said, "Sounds like a great sword. I wouldn't mind going after the pigeons across the road with that."
"Gabrielle told me it's got magical powers. If fact, she has magical powers."
"Really? Tell me more." Mother was fractionated with the Jett's telling of this vile woman.
Jett chuckled, "Meg, remember how Gabrielle ran around half naked?"
"I sure do. Hey, if you got it flaunt it, I always say."
"Mother!" I said in dismay.
Remembering I was there, mother said, "Sorry Pumpkin." A slight blush colored her face. "Go on Jett."
"Well, she has always favored the backless outfits. She still does. But now she has this tattoo that covers most of her back. She tells me that no weapon can pierce her back. If you through a rock at her back, it will get almost to her then turn around and come back at you. How cool is that?"
"Way cool" my mother agreed. I rolled my eyes. Jett was never one to tell tales, but this had to be his attempt at fiction.
Uncle Jett pressed his advantage. He had my mother hanging on his every word. "I have not seen her fight but the stories abound in Egypt. They say she fights with the skills of Xena herself. The Egyptians call her Death Bringer."
"Death Bringer? This doesn't sound like our Gabrielle. That poor girl, I feel so sorry for her." I could see that my mother was moved by Jett's story.
"Come off it mother, Surly you must see that Jett is making this all up." Both my mother and Jett turned to me, giving me a look as if I were the village idiot.
"I wish I were Virgil, but it's true." Jett said sincerely. "Gabrielle has some issues."
"Well I have heard enough." Mother said. Finally, I thought to myself. Mother has seen the light of day. But then she went on, rising from the dinner table. "Virgil, you will go find Gabrielle and bring her home to me.
"Uh? I can't?I ah?"
Now mother gave me a stern look. "My cavalry unit has active duty in two weeks." I managed to spit out. Surly mother realized as a captain in the Athens Army I could not just ride off just because my mother told me to.
"I'll just write a note to your commanding officer and tell him that you have family business to take care of."
"I don't know if General Theodore will allow it Mother." I protested.
"Oh, I think he will Pumpkin. Your father promoted him to commander of the Combined Greek Defense Forces. Before he met your father he was a sergeant. Theodore and most of the people of power in Greece are where they are now because of him." Out of nowhere, mother produced a quill and scroll and began scribbling away. Handing the parchment to me she said "Take this to Theodore right now." Uncle Jett will go with you. Jett shot me his best evil grin.
The Visit
Armed with a note from my mother and burdened with Uncle Jett at my side I knocked on the door of General Theodore's home. As luck would have it, General Theodore answered the door himself. The general is a very large man and looks more like a blacksmith then a soldier.
"Well hello Virgil, what? Jett is that you? Shouldn't you be in prison somewhere?
"Been there, done that, didn't care for it." Jett replied.
Theodore put his huge arms around our shoulders and guided us from the doorway into a sitting room, as he said, "Well no matter Jett, its still good to see you."
We all sat down in comfortable chairs. Theodore waited for one of use to speak. Just as I was about to begin, Jett spoke up.
"Teddy, we've come to see you regarding urgent family business."
Teddy? Did Uncle Jett just address the great man as Teddy? Only my parents had that privilege, I thought. And since when did the mad woman Gabrielle become family business? I waited for Jett to continue. Once the General became aware of this foolish idea of my mother's, he would most likely toss us out of his home and that would be the end of it. I could go back to mother and say we tried.
"Urgent family business, Jett? What is it?" the General asked.
Jett went into his story about magic swords and enchanted back tattoos. He left out the part of being in Egypt to murder someone. The General sat quietly thinking after Jett finished.
"I can't believe she is really dead. Poor Gabrielle, she must be heartbroken." The General said with a look of regret on his face.
I'm sure I must have had a look of regret in my face as well. Because, I could not believe what I was hearing. When the General spoke again, I felt my hopes of being tossed out on my ear fade away.
"Maybe we can help each other. I will let you go on this quest if you do me one favor Virgil."
"Name it and it's yours" Jett said.
What am I, a potted plant? I thought. Wasn't he speaking to me?
"Years ago I met this beautiful Amazon women, her name was Wasand."
Fantastic, now I get to hear about my commander's love life, I thought. This is working out so great, I'll do whatever he wants me to do and then I can go and find crazy Gabrielle with my uncle the assassin and they can fight over who gets to kill me.
"? So according to Amazon law the children had to be separated." The General said. So I raised the boy and Wasand raised the girl.
"Sorry General Theodore, I think I missed part of that." I said, letting myself be drawn back into the conversation.
Robbery On The Way Home
I left the General's house crestfallen. Uncle Jett and I walked through the quite streets passing very few people on our way home. Jett hummed a happy tune as we walked. The General had readily agreed to give me leave from my duties in exchange for a small favor. General Theodore had had a love affair with an Amazon woman many years ago. The result was a baby girl. What was stranger was that the Amazon had sought him out years later and they had another child, this time a boy. According to the Amazon custom, boys were returned to their fathers. While the girls stayed with they're mothers to become Amazon warriors and keep the madding cycle going.
The small favor was to "drop by" the Amazon tribe and let Theodore's son meet his mother and sister. Never mind the fact that the heartless mother had not seen the boy since the day he was born and probably couldn't care less. It seemed that the boy, also named Theodore, had some issues. The General felt that for young "Teddy" to see his barbaric, savage and most likely murderess mother and sister would do the lad some good. Good as in scared for life? Well, I have some issues of my own, now, don't I?
What happens after we get to the Amazon village and Mom does not want to see Junior? Provided we all don't have arrows embedded in our sculls the moment we cross the Amazon border. Do we take the kid back home then, emotionally damaged for life after meeting dear old mom, or do we keep him with us and let crazy Gabby kill him? Decisions, decisions, decision.
We were about to pass an older gentleman when suddenly; Jett pushed the poor man against the wall of a building and held a dagger to the man's throat. Excellent I thought Jett feels like doing a little robbery to celebrate his and mother's victory. "What on earth do you think your doing?" I yelled.
Jett never took his eyes off the man. Speaking very calmly had said, "Hello Argamos, long time no see."
The man was now sweating, but managed to answer my uncle. Uh? Jett, I thought?you were in prison."
Jett removed the dagger from the man's throat. And cut the man's purse from his belt. The purse fell right into Jett's waiting hand. "It's got some weight to it doesn't it Argamos. You must be doing very well. Yes, very well indeed."
"Jett put down your blade and tell me what this all about or I'll arrest you myself." I said, taking a step toward him. The dagger disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. The man's bag of dinars found its way into one of Jett's pockets.
"Relax kid", my uncle said with a big smile as he put his arm around the man in a friendly embrace.
The man, Argamos spoke a little clearer without the presents of a blade at his throat. "He's not robbing me young man, if that's what you think. I've owed him this much and more for a long time. It's just that he as been? well out of town for some time." Jett just grinned at me, as if he was auditioning for the part of the town idiot. "Jett is a great man and a good friend." Argamos added. Some way to treat your friends I thought. What did he just say Jett the Assassin, a great man? Good friend?
"See Virgil, no harm done. I was just collecting and old debt." Come on Argamos, I'll be leaving town shortly, let's you and me find a tavern and drink to the old days." Jett said as he slapped Argamos on the back. The two men started to walk away as if nothing had happened, when my uncle turned to me and said, "Aren't you coming Kid?"
"First, tell me why Argamos considers you such a great friend" I said.
Jett laughed, and kept on walking with his friend. As he was walking away he half turned to me and said, "Somehow, I think you really don't want to know." He dragged his thumb across his own throat in a cutting motion. He said something funny to Argamos and they both laughed as they entered a tavern. I picked up my emotional baggage and went home to dream of Amazon warriors chasing me through the forest as Uncle Jett and Argamos robbed their village.
The Oasis
Gabrielle looked at her reflection on the water. She was amazed that despite her time in the desert, her skin was still a golden tan and had not turned a dark brown. The reflection also told her that she still looked to be twenty-five, maybe a little younger, on a good day. The fact that she was fifty was not a problem for her. It wasn't like she had been active for fifty years. She had not. One year had been spent in a state of suspended animation in the land of the Norsemen. Then twenty-five years in an ice tomb with her partner Xena. Both events had halted the aging process.
Xena, how I miss the old days with her, Gabrielle thought.
Oh Xena's spirit was still with her. Not just in her heart but in her sight as well. Xena being Xena had not gone on the Elysian Fields as she could have, but stayed with Gabrielle. Even Hades understood the bond between the two women was so strong, that an exception had to be made. That is, Hades would have understood, had Xena not killed him along with a bunch of other gods.
Having refreshed herself, Gabrielle stood and brushed some sand off her pristine Arabic white linen clothing. She replaced the matching whit turban on in her head and walked back to the small encampment.
"All is prepared my queen." Wasand, the captain of Gabrielle's Amazon guard informed her.
"Thank you Wasand, I'm going up on that dune to the east, I expect the Romans to march from that direction. Sent scouts to the north and western side of the oasis just in case."
Gabrielle watched as Wasand hurried off to dispatch a scout in each direction the Queen had indicated. The other Amazon warriors would be making last minute preparations before battle. On her way to the dune, Gabrielle checked on the readiness of her Bedouin troops. Ali, dressed in all black saluted her when she approached. Ali was the leader of the nomadic warriors defending his tribe from the Roman invaders.
Minutes later, Gabrielle was at the peek of the eastern dune. She lay on her stomach, her eyes searching for any movement below.
"What are you doing Gabrielle?" Xena asked standing behind her.
"Xena, get down." Gabrielle hissed. Humoring her friend, the spirit of Xena lay on the sand next to Gabrielle.
"It's not like anyone can see me except you, you know." Xena said softly. "What are we looking for, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Romans. And you never know, maybe they might have a holy man or a mystic traveling with them." Gabrielle replied, "Aren't you the one that told me to always expect the unexpected?"
"Good point" Xena conceded. Gabrielle felt Wasand flopped down on Gabrielle's other side.
"My Queen, no reports of the enemy to the north or west." Gabrielle looked behind her and saw twenty-three, battle ready Amazons a few feet below her. Gabrielle remembered when she returned from Japan, stopping at her Amazon village and taking her personal guard with her back to fight the Romans.
Gabrielle turned back when Wasand whispered; "I see them. Looks like the better part of a division."
The warrior-bard said, "I would say about half a division down there."
Xena looked down and said, "No Gabrielle, that can't be more then a beefed up patrol."
Gabrielle looked at Xena and wonders if being dead affect one's ability to count. When the Romans ware directly below, Gabrielle stood up and shouted "AMAZONS? ATTACK".
"Gabrielle, No!" Xena yelled as the Battling Bard ran down the sand dune, one hand holding her Katana sword and Xena's chakram in the other. Gabrielle could hear the battle cries of the Amazon warriors ringing in her ears.
The first two Romans that attempted to engage Gabrielle in combat were cut down with a slice of the chakram and a sweep of the magical Katana sword. Gabrielle didn't even loose a step. Looking to her left, Gabrielle saw the mounted Bedouin warriors descending on the Roman troops. A toss of the chakram and another Legionnaire went down. The battle went on for five minutes longer. Then there was no one left to kill. Gabrielle had killed seventeen soldiers in a short period of time.
Wasand walked over to Gabrielle "Your orders, my Queen?"
As she pulled the chakram out of the breastplate of a dead Roman, Gabrielle said, "Collect any gold they carry. We will need it to replenish our supplies."
Xena appeared at Gabrielle's side. "Gabrielle?"
Gabrielle turned to Xena and smiled sweetly. "Yes Xena?"
"I want to tell you something and I need you to hear me out."
The bard could see the look of worry and concern on Xena's face. "What is it? I wasn't hurt if that's what is worrying you."
Xena gave her a weak smile and continued. "When you said collect any gold, whom were you talking to?"
Gabrielle looked over at Wasand. She watched Wasand turn a dead Roman over with her foot and then bend down and pick up a pouch from the man's belt. Shacking some gold coins out from the pouch Wasand looked over to Gabrielle and smiled.
Gabrielle pointed to Wasand and said "Wasand of course."
Xena tried to hide her screaming emotions. Speaking in her usual dry voice she said "And what is Wasand doing?"
Now, it was Gabrielle that was concerned for her soul mate. "Xena, as you can plainly see Wasand is searching the dead for gold just like everyone else."
Xena said "Everyone else?"
Gabrielle looked around the battle site. All her Amazons and about one hundred Bedouins were following her instructions, looking for gold and stabbing any Romans that had not gone on to the after life. "Xena, I don't understand the point you're trying to make. But you're starting to scare me."
"I'm kind of scared too Gabrielle". Placing her arm around Gabrielle's shoulder, she said, "Wasand is not here. No one is here, except sixteen or seventeen Romans you killed, you and me".
Gabrielle looked to Wasand; she was near enough to have touched. As she looked at Wasand, the Amazon seemed to become transparent and then faded from sight. Gabrielle scanned the battle sight. Amazons, Bedouins and except for the legionaries, Gabrielle had killed, all the Romans faded away.
Xena looked down at her friend as she said, "I guess you know what this means Gabrielle."
Removing a pouch of coins from a dead solider, she replied, "I sure do. I have to collect the gold myself." She placed the pouch of gold in her dirty, tattered robe.
Here's Teddy
My mother had offered to take my evil grandfather into our home while Jett and I were off on our fool's errand. Grandfather had been living with Jett in Jett's home in a less desirable part of Athens. Jett had some legitimate concerns that the old man would steal everything Jett was not taking with him or commit some offence against society that would land back in prison. For some reason, Jett had a soft spot for the ancient warlord/criminal. I, on the other hand wondered if gramps wouldn't steal everything my mother owned.
The General had assured me that young Theodore would meet us at our home prior to our departure. We were now at our gate and about to say our good byes when a rider approached us at a quick gallop. The rider pulled hard on the rains and the large steed halted inches from us. The horseman dismounted in a smooth jump and approached my mother. Giving mom a courtly bow, he said, "Lady Meg, my father sends his greeting and affection. It is indeed my pleasure to meet you at last. My father spoke often of your good works here in Athens".
Mother beamed at the youth. What was he, seventeen at the most? "Hi ya, Teddy", my mother replied with a smile. "We have met before; although I'm sure you were too young to remember. When you were a baby I use to change your diapers. Do you still get that rash on your bottom in the damp season?"
Teddy was at a loss for words. My mother always had a way of grounding people that were too taken with themselves. "Uh, well no? mostly, that is". Grandfather was sizing him up. Probably wondering if he could slit the young man's throat without us noticing.
Jett was ready to leave. Kissing my mother's cheek and giving grandfather a hug, he said, "Don't worry Meg, we'll check on that rash everyday." Teddy went red. "Mount up boys, its time to ride." Jett shouted as he climbed upon his horse.
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On The Road
We traveled by day; at night we found an inn or simply made camp when no inn was available. Young Ted was enchanted by Jett's never ending stream of stories about the good old days. He told stories about the people that he had murder for profit mostly. Jett held the option that mayhem was a culturally acceptable way to earn one's daily bread. After the first few days I gave up debating the issue and simply kept my views to myself. Every now and then, he would tell a story about his and my father's childhood. I must admit I paid close attention to those stories. In these tales, Jett was always the hero, or should I say anti-hero. While my father was the little goodie two shoes. That was fine with me because it proved that my father was made of better stuff then the rest of the family.
I must admit I did enjoy one story about my grandfather. It seems that granddad was waging war on one of his equally despicable warlord rivals. At some point he had a tent surrounded. He believed his rival was hiding in the tent. Standing at the front of the tent, Gramps challenged his rival inside the tent to come out and face him in a fair fight. At this point Jett laughed and told us that my grandfather had no concept of fair. The word fair was not in his vocabulary. My grandfather had instructed a dozen of his archers to go to the back on the tent and shot into it when they heard him draw his sword.
The warlord in the tent was on his way out when he tripped and fell to the ground. Granddad seeing an easy kill drew his sword to run the man through. As soon as the archers hear the metal against metal sound of a sword being pulled out of its scabbard, they let their arrows fly. With the warlord lying safety on the ground, my grandfather was the closest victim.
"Yep, he took an arrow in the shoulder and one in his arm. Four or five guys behind him were hit too. Boy was he ever mad." My uncle cackled.
Despite Teddy growing fondness for my uncle, the young man could see that Jett's value system was way off the norm. Fortunately the General had instilled the ability to tell right from wrong into his son. As days passed, Ted began to ask questions about Amazons. Jett didn't know much about them really. Except for Gabrielle, he didn't know any. He explained that he was pretty much a city boy and the Amazons were as far away from the cities as they could get. I knew a little more. Even as a teenager, I recalled from time to time, Amazons would come to our country home to call on my father concerning some Amazonian matter. Dad would sometimes spend days in discussions with them. Only once did he ever leave with them that I could recall. Teddy asked me if I had any knowledge of his mother or sister. I had heard Joxer mention Wasand's name on the day he defeated Caesar and sent him packing back to Rome. I think I even met her once or twice. I couldn't be sure. When the Amazons would call on our house they always showed up in a large group. They never traveled outside their own nation any more then they could help it. Never numbering less then a war party as they called it.
Except for Gabrielle, of course. She always traveled with Xena alone or with my father and Xena. Apparently, the Gabster disregarded the Amazon ways whenever they were in conflict with her own wishes. At least Xena was honest enough with herself not to become an Amazon. If you're not an Amazon, you can't be expected to follow their rules of conduct. But Gabrielle had to have it all. She had to be a queen. She had to be the most popular bard in the land. And if that was not enough, then she had to be the Battling Bard. "Read my scrolls or I'll kick you butt", she probably told everyone. "I'm Gabrielle the great warrior-bard."
"Okay, I'm getting carried away with myself." I thought. What was it that everyone sees in her? Sure I had a few adventures with her myself. I admit she has a sweet way of speaking and presents herself as a giving person. When it comes to a fight, I'll choose her over anyone living to stand at my side. But then there is the evil side of her as well. Dad told me that when she and Xena were in India, she met Eli the holyman and tossed her fighting staff into the river because she didn't want to ever harm anyone. A few weeks later, she bought herself a pair of sies. She went from bopping people with her staff to having the option of hitting them with the butt of her sies or stabbing them if she preferred.
"Virgil?" Teddy asked, "When will we get to Amazon territory"
"At the rate we are going?hmmm, 'bout two days I guess." I felt sorry for the kid. The general told me how much he wanted to see his mom and big sister. It must have been hard on the general as well. It's couldn't be easy to tell your son that mom couldn't or wouldn't keep him.
"Do you think my mother is a queen or regent by now?" , the boy asked.
"Well? I don't know Teddy. But if she is a queen, I'll bet she is as good of a queen as Gabrielle." That wouldn't take much I thought to myself. This got a big broad smile for the lad. I noticed that my uncle was silent. He must be tired. We'll stop at the next inn we come to so the old fellow can sleep in a warm bed for the night. I had to give Jett credit, for a guy his age; he was one tough man. I was about twenty-seven years younger then he and I was beat from riding. And I'm a cavalryman.
"Uncle, do you mind if we stop for the night at the next inn we come to?" I asked slowing my horse down so that he could catch up. "I've had my fill of wild rabbit for a while."
"That sounds good to me Virgil. I wouldn't mind a hot bath and something different to eat. I'm not like your father you know." He said rubbing his back. He saw the questioning look on my face, so he explained his statement. "Joxer most likely didn't tell you this because he was never one to brag. But that man could walk. Did you know that when he went to Chin with the girls (Xena and Gabrielle) he walked? They had horses but he chose to walk. Your dad was known as one of the greatest horsemen in all of Greece. Even the god Ares said he was the best rider he had ever seen. And Ares saw them all."
This was a shock to me. I always remembered my father tripping and slipping a lot. "Why did he trip so much then if he walked so much?" I asked.
"Well I have a theory about that. Joxer tripped a lot because he couldn't feel his feet. Think about it. The man actually walked from one end of the continent to the other. Beyond, if you count Britannia. His feet were so callused they had no felling left. By the time he was your age he had seen more of the world then any Roman legionnaire. When you're walking along and you feel a rock sticking out of the ground with the toe of your boot. You instinctively step over it. Not true with my late brother. He couldn't feel it, so he pushed on and not feeling a thing, falls down."
Mystery solved I thought. If you're a professional assassin, like Jett you have to be very observant. I said this to Jett and he laughed.
"Your father was always the most observant man I ever knew, Virgil." I found this hard to believe. I had always heard stories about how my father would charge into the enemy forces and find himself greatly outnumbered. Usually, to save Gabrielle and Xena, of course. That didn't seem observant to me.
Before I could share this insight with my uncle, he said, "I know what you're thinking. You see Joxer was a team player. He knew that if he could distract the other side long enough, Xena would find away to free herself from whatever predicament she was in and the three of them would deal with the situation. A lot of preplanning want into the things Joxer did."
I was really enjoying this. My father had told me of all his adventures but never what the thought process was. "Well, why is it that he was always being arrested to stealing chickens?" I couldn't wait to hear the thinking behind that move.
"Virgil, Virgil, Virgil. I can't believe you didn't figure that one out." My uncle looked truly disappointed in me.
"I know", Teddy piped up.
I was so interested in what my uncle was telling me, I had forgotten he was with us. "Well, enlighten me young Theodore" I said.
Now Teddy looked embarrassed for having interrupted us. "Well you see Virgil? my father traveled around with your dad for a long time before he became General of the Athens Army. He would tell me about how sometimes they would need to get into an enemy castle or stronghold. Joxer would take off his battledress and put on some raggedy clothing. He would steal a chicken from the nearest town and get himself arrested. Once in the dungeon, he would pick the lock or trick the guard into coming into his cell. Whatever. Within a few minutes he had the run of the place."
"That's right." Jett agreed. "Once he stole a chicken and he couldn't find anyone to arrest him. He went up to the warlord's keep and turned himself in. The guard at the gate told him to keep the chicken if he needed it so bad. Joxer got so mad he hit the guard over the head with the chicken. Then he got tossed in the clink."
I had to admit that that was a pretty funny story. I thought I had my father figured out, but it seems there is still a lot more to learn. I felt a lifting of my spirits by the time we reached the courtyard of the inn.
As Teddy and my uncle entered the inn, I made arrangement with the stable boy for the care and feeding of our horses. As I walked out of the barn I had a strange thought. Had Gabrielle written stories about my father and for some reason never made them public? I had to give her credit. It was the story she had written about my father driving off the Romans from the Amazon forest that had helped make Joxer a national treasure. What was I thinking? Sure, Gabrielle had written one good story about him. And the Amazons had given him the title of Champion of the Amazons, but she was always putting him down and undermining his abilities. Xena was always the one that had given him credit and praised him to others. Xena had her good points, but to my way of thinking, she was misguided at least and a semi-nutcase at worst. Now, having spoiled my own good mood I stomped into the inn.
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Midnight at the Oasis
The sun had set hours ago, but Gabrielle had not noticed. After counting the liberated gold she had washed and changed clothing. Only because of Xena's urging had she made a campfire out of what wood she could find around the oasis. She would have been very happy just to let the moon and the stars light the night for her. While squatting down near the campfire she chewed on some dried figs and starred at Xena's ghost.
Xena stared right back at her. But unlike Gabrielle, Xena was actually having a thought process. Xena notices more and more that Gabrielle had gone from long conversations to one-word reply, to... well, to grunts. It seemed that Gabrielle was like a large cat just waiting to pounce on her next victim. The shocking part was the physical change. Gabrielle was always fit looking but now she had almost too fit. She was close to being muscle-bound. Her arms were larger and stronger then any Amazon warrior Xena had ever seen. Her legs were now so powerful that Gabrielle could kick in a solid oak door with little effort. She could also jump higher then Xena ever had in the past life. Suddenly Xena took her eyes off Gabrielle and searched the night around them.
Gabrielle must have felt it too. She sprang to her feet and drew her sword. "Whoever you are, you better come out now while you still have the chance." Gabrielle hissed.
The figure of a man stepped way from a dune and walked towards the campfire. It was Ares, God of War.
"Ah?gee Gabrielle that must be you're made in Japan sword. I'm all scared." Ares said, in mock fear. As Gabrielle returned her sword to its scabbard, Ares greeted Xena. "Hi yeah, Xena. How's death?"
"You can see her, Ares" Gabrielle asked.
"That's right Gabrielle, I can. Just one of the many things you and I have in common." Ares said, smiling at Gabrielle.
"Even in death, you plague me, Ares." Xena said dryly.
Looking at Xena, Ares dropped the smile from his face. "Don't flatter yourself Xena. You could have had it all, but you blew it. You could have been a goddess and lived forever but now you're just a ghost of your former self, as it were."
"I'd rather be dead then spend an eternity with you Ares." Xena growled.
"I'm really sorry you feel that way Xena." For a moment, a look of regret showed in Ares' eyes but was gone when he said, "But it doesn't matter any more. Now, you're a dead issue. Forgive the pun." Ares turned his back on Xena and squatted down next to Gabrielle who had lost interest in the exchange between the god and the dead. Gabrielle was starring into the fire when Ares put hid finger under her chin and turned her head so that their eyes met. "You, on the other hand are magnificent." Gabrielle smiled blankly at Ares while she snatched the finger under her chin and bent it back. Freeing himself from her iron grip he said, "Oh, yeah, that's my girl, all business, daddy like."
"If I had skin it would be crawling right now Ares." Xena said, "Why don't you go back to whatever it was you were doing before you came here."
"Why don't you go to the hell you should be in right now, ghost of princess past?" Ares snapped. Ares looked extremely annoyed. "I'm going to open up many exciting opportunities for Gabrielle. While you, on the other hand can offer her nothing."
"Many exciting opportunities?" Xena barked. "Ares, you should be a salesman. Maybe you could open your own market stall. You could convince people you actually have something of value to offer. Although, we both know that isn't true."
While the exchange between Ares and Xena went on, Gabrielle setup her bedroll and quickly fell asleep.
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The Amazon Floorshow
As I entered the inn I noticed the marking over the doorway. This small sign spoke volumes. It told me that the Amazons protected the inn. Unlike many of the towns and villages we had passed through, Amazon law applied here. A mixture of farmers, tinkers and warriors passing through populated this inn. I passed a large group of men on my way to the table Jett and Teddy were sitting at. The men gave me the look one warrior gives another. They could judge by my bearing that I was a solider of some rank. I could tell they were mercenaries, or worst yet, bounty hunters by their manor. I became concerned that Jett might become a subject of interest to them. There was no telling how many cities still had a price on my dear uncle's head.
Jet, for his part, paid them no interest. No doubt, Jett had already calculated how many he could kill or disable with his throwing daggers. Apparently, he had judged them to be of little consequence. Despite my uncle's advanced age, he was still a master of the deadly arts. As I sat down, Jett pushed a tankard of ale across the table to me. "I've already arranged for our rooms and baths, kid." My uncle said pleasantly. After we got a few drinks in us, we'll get cleaned up and come back down for dinner."
Young Teddy was looking all around. As a city boy, he had never been this far out in the sticks. "I wouldn't look too hard at that lot"; I said glancing at the band of warriors across the room. "They might take it the wrong way." Jett just smiled his evil grin and took another pull on his tankard.
The next hour was uneventful. After finishing out drinks, we went to the baths and changed into clean clothing. When we returned to our table, we placed our dinner order with the serving maiden and relaxed in anticipation of our first meal in days that we had not had to hunt ourselves. The crowd had changed little as most of the people were also going to room at the inn for the night. I did notice that the group of warriors had thinned in number, but those that remained had become louder and more annoying.
This changed when four women entered the inn. They were Amazons. They were everything I thought Amazons should be. Scantly clothed, I could see they were well muscled and had an air of confidence about them. The swords they had belted to their sides or strapped to their backs did not lessen the perception of power and ability. They glided over to the innkeeper and engaged him in conversation. I estimated three of them to be in their teens or twenties. The fourth, I guessed to be the leader, was one of those women that could be any age from thirty-eight to forty-eight. The innkeeper seemed to be well acquainted with them. Some words were passed between the innkeeper and the Amazons and some chuckling could be heard from them.
No doubt, this inn was a regular stop on their patrol. The innkeeper said something else of a more serious nature and the women looked at the band of warriors that were now less rowdy then before. The elder Amazon scanner the room and her eyes fixed on my uncle.
Seeing this, my uncle smiled an actual smile, not a sneer. He raised his tankard in a salute to the woman warrior. Speaking to Teddy he said, "What can I say? Chicks dig me." To my amazement, the Amazon actually smiled back. Teddy had been watching the Amazons with an open mouth the whole time.
Turning to Jett he asked, "Do you think they might know my mother and sister?"
Jett thought this over for a moment then said, "Hard to tell Teddy. There are thousands of Amazons. I'm not sure they all know each other."
"There is only one way to find out." I said. I stood up and after unbuckling my sword and scabbard. I placed them on the table. I wanted the Amazons to see that I was no threat to them. I walked in their direction. The three younger Amazons observed my actions and moved their hands to the pommel of their swords. The leader said something to them and they stayed their hands.
"Good evening ladies, might I have a word?" I asked.
A tall blonde Amazon said, "We're on duty, unless there is a problem, we don't speak to patrons of the inn."
Giving what I considered my most disarming smile, I said, "There is no problem? but I could use your help."
Now a healthy looking black haired Amazon spoke up. "Forget it lover boy. Like you were just told, we don't speak to the customers. Now go back and sit down with your father and brother, like a good little boy."
I was being dismissed. Young men must approach them all the time. They had quickly placed me in this category and viewed me as one in a series of hopeful romantics. Feeling like a schoolboy, I slinked back to our table. The bounty hunters had observed the exchange and offered their observations of my encounter with the Amazons from across the room. One collective glance from the women warriors and they fell silent.
I arrived at the same time as our food. The serving maiden also having observed my failure offered her condolences, "Don't take it too hard sir, they protect the inn and can't speak to the customers.
"Thanks" I said and sipped my ale. Teddy looked more dejected then me. He was starting to understand that this trip to find his kin was going to be harder then he first thought.
Jett scribbles a hasty note on a small piece of parchment. "Young lady, would you be kind enough to give this note to the leader of the Amazon patrol for me?" Accepting the note, the maiden walked over to the Amazon and slipped to into her hand.
Before the woman could read it. There was a disturbance between the bounty hunters and a few farmers at the table next to them. Many of the farmers in this area are retired soldiers themselves and not likely to tolerate the rude behavior of the bounty hunters for very long. At this stage there were punches being thrown, but no swords had been drawn. The farmers had no weapons other then their fists and the bounty hunted, being the sportsmen that they were didn't press the advantage of weaponry.
This proved to be a wise choice. Had they pulled swords, the Amazons would have responded in kind. Only an expert swordsman in an elite unit could hope to have a chance of survival against an Amazon in combat. I watched the Amazon leader tuck the note into her belt as she knocked two farmers down and slammed a bounty hunter into the wall. I would estimate it took the Amazons about ten heartbeats to clear the room of the bounty hunters and get them mounted or in a few cases lying across their horses sending them back to the road.
I don't think Teddy had closed his mouth the whole time. Jett had finished his meal and ordered more ale, as if nothing had happened. I worried what the fates held in store for us once we entered the Amazon homelands. From the display I had just witnessed, I guessed the Amazons would kill us first then ask questions.
Amazon Territory
We ate a hardy meal before taking to the road that morning. In case it was my last, I wanted it to be a good one. We road slowly as not to display any aggressive tendencies. Jett took delight in reading the Amazon warning signs out loud. They started out fairly polite at first. The first few suggested to the traveler that he had made a mistake in direction and should return to the fork in the road. The next few warned us that we were not allowed in Amazon territory and could be forcibly removed. I wondered what would happen if you told them that you couldn't read.
My question was answered when the road stopped being a road and became a path. Every so often we passed a skull on a stick. Not very tasteful, but the meaning was clear. The deeper we went into the woods the more we heard the calls of birds. Or, what I knew were the calls of Amazons.
"I think this would be a good time to slowly place our hands on top of our heads." Jett said softly.
No sooner had we complied with Jett's suggestion then Amazon swung down from trees and popped out of the forest all around us. We each had half a dozen spears positioned inches from us. In case the spear bearers should all fail to impale us, scores of archers backed them up. Behind the archers stood the leader of the Amazon patrol. She must work 24/7 I thought.
"Where are you from?" the leader asked.
"Athens", Theodore replied. Who made him spokesperson for us I thought.
"Well, the pup has a voice. What about you, lover boy? You have anything to say?" The tall blonde Amazon from last night asked.
My brain kept repeating the same three words over and over again, "Don't?Kill? Me!" I managed to say, "I uh?well, uh?"
The Amazon leader gave me a look as if she was noticing for the first time that I was a blundering idiot. "That's okay? You work on it and we'll come back to you." She gave me that look everyone gives a puppy the first time he tries to walk and fails. Stepping past the line of archers, she stood behind the women pointing their spears at Jett. "How about you handsome, cat got your tongue? She purred to my uncle.
Unlike me, Jett was not unable to speak. "I have a tongue and know how to use it baby." Jett said with a charming smile. I waited for him to be impaled by all the women with spears, but that didn't happen. Instead, there was a general round of snickers and giggles from the assembled women warriors. They even stopped pointing their spears at us.
They bid us to climb down from our horses. Once we were on the ground, the leader stepped up to Jett and said, " For an old guy you must have a pretty big set to talk that way to me. What is you name?"
Jett smiled and said, "Perhaps you have heard of me." Placing his fists on his hips and looking rather noble he said, "I am Jett". The Amazons looked at each other and after murmuring among themselves found that no one had heard of a man named Jett. My uncle was not dismayed. He gave it another shot. "I'm also known as the King of Assassins. I am Jet, King of Assassins." Once again the Amazons talked among themselves. No one had heard of Jet, King of Assassins, but several had heard of Autolycus, King of Thieves. Now Jett looked more forlorn then I had ever seen him. Almost mumbling he said, "I'm Joxer's brother."
This brought on very favorable remarks from the Amazons. Several of the Amazons that had known or at least seen my father in his later years knew that Joxer had a twin brother that was an assassin. Theodore and I were greatly enjoying my uncle's embarrassment of having to invoke my father's name in order to be accepted by the women warriors. The smirk on my face was wiped away when my uncle walked to my side. Placing his arm around my shoulder, he proclaimed in a loud voice, "And this is Joxer's half-witted son, Virgil."
This brought on the collective aaahhs and ooowwws from the Amazons. Apparently, Amazons have a soft spot for the mentally limited. I was passed among them like a bad cold. Everyone wanted to hug the poor dimwit. Especially, if the poor fellow was the Great Joxer's son. "I'm a solider," I protested, while finding myself in the embrace of a stunning redhead.
"Of course you are sweetheart." She cooed at my.
Jett and Teddy were laughing so hard tears began running from their eyes.
"Be careful ladies, he's very delicate? like a flower." Jett manages to say and then laughed even harder.
After every Amazon had patted my head, hugged me and kissed my cheek, the Amazon leader turned her attention to Teddy. "And who is this fine young man? Is he a younger brother?" The Amazons were ready, willing and able to start a second round of affection for another dimwitted son.
Jett stopped laughing and asked the leader to speak to him away from the others. I watched the two of them walk a few yards away. I would have followed them but two very strong women warriors restrained me.
"It's alright Cupcake; your uncle won't go very far. Look he stopped right there. You just stay here with Aunt Leila and Aunt Helena."
My two new aunts were about five to eight years younger then me. My eyes shot daggers at Jett while Aunt Leila explained the dangers of a boy wondering into the woods alone without a grownup. I watched Jett while he spoke to the Amazon. When I saw her reach into he belt, I remembered the note Jett had sent to her. She must have forgotten all about it when the Amazons had to drive off the bounty hunters from the inn.
The Amazon leader's name turned out to be Libia I learned later. In fact she was a good friend of Wasand's. Both Wasand and Libia were among the four Amazons that rode at my father's side during the battle against Caesar in the Amazon forest. Caesar had planed to destroy the Amazon Nation and then storm across Greece and make Greece part of the Roman Empire. My father, Joker had rallied the armies of Greece and saved the Amazon Nation and Greece.
I could see Libia looking keenly at Teddy and sadly at me, alternately. I didn't need a program to understand what was going through her mind. It was not everyday a son came seeking his Amazon Mother. Never did the son bring the kin of the man most respected by the Amazon Nation. Teddy didn't know it but he was wheeling a lot of political clout right now. Libia unrolled the note and read it. She said something I could not hear to my uncle. He would answer and then the process of looking at Teddy, then the note and then me would start all over again. I could see that Teddy was starting to get nervous. He didn't want to be turned away when he was so close to where his mother and sister lived.
I decided to move things along. "Ah? look Auntie Helena; the joke had gone on too long. I'm not slow. In fact, I'm kind'a bright?" I gave up. The women just smiled sweetly at me, while their eyes regarded me with kindness and pity. I guessed I would have to hope we would be taken to the Amazon village. After Teddy's business was sorted out, I could always challenge the wisest Amazons to a spelling bee to prove I was not the dimwit my uncle claimed I was. Then I could go find Goofy Gabby.
Suddenly, a thought wrapped it's self around my brain. Granted, the Amazon could be bad news when you crossed them. But, they were also very compassionate individuals. I was proof of that. Because they think I'm an idiot. They would feel the same kindness toward one of their own, the Batty Bard, Gabrielle. A smile crossed my lips at the very thought. Seeing my smile, my new aunts gave me even bigger smiles. They didn't even have a reason to smile, but they were mugging away. Ah-ha, I thought. At least I have a reason to smile. Who's the dimwit now? Then another though entered my mind and my glee trickled away. When they find out I'm not a half-wit, will they take turns kicking my butt? I had witnessed Leila and Helena each beat the stuffing out of three of four of the bounty hunters at the inn last night.
I should broach the subject now before this whole thing gets out of hand. "Ladies, I really need to speak to you both." I said, my voice dripping with sincerity. They gave me their attention, lacking the poor baby grins. "My uncle is a very twisted man. It was his idea of a joke to tell you that I am a nitwit. And you came believe that I am if you want. All I ask is then when you find out the truth; you remember I was honest with you here. After all, I am the son of Joxer." I waited, "Darn where did I go wrong? Back came the grins. "Of course", I thought, I was doing well until I reminded them that I was Joxer's son. "As much as I loved my father, I had to admit he was not the brightest star in the sky. Mother was the brain of the outfit. Dad was a great warrior, kind hearted and the best father a son could ask for. But, in truth, not overly bright. The Amazons most likely figured the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Libya and my uncle walked back to our little tea party. "We go to the village." She said. Most of the Amazons mounted up. Some returned to the business of waiting in the trees and bushes to scare the pants off of illiterate travelers. I managed to actually mount my horse all by my self, impressing the Amazons greatly. The last five years in the Athens cavalry had not gone to waste.
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Death Bringer Takes a Holiday
It had taken Xena several days to get through to the addled brain of Gabrielle that there was more to life then running around the desert looking for Roman soldiers to murder and rob. Even a monster like Gabrielle needed a time-out from her wicked endeavors. Checking into the finest hotel in the city had done wonders for Gabrielle and the olfactory senses of the Egyptians unfortunate enough to come in contact with her. After several baths and scrubbings administered by two terrified Egyptian women, Gabrielle's sweat-stained clothing was peeled from her body. Sitting naked, with her sword laying across her lap, Gabrielle plotted her new wardrobe with a tailor in her suite. The tailor was a young man that made a very comfortable living designing clothing for the Egyptian elite. Normally the sight of a beautiful naked woman would have proved stimulating to the tailor. But in this case, Gabrielle reputation had preceded her. All he wanted to do was take the measurements and get out.
Standing, for the measurements, Gabrielle notices the man's hand shacking whenever he pressed his cloth measuring tape to her flesh. Looking up into the tailor's face, Gabrielle asked, "Like what you see?"
"Ah? well, you see? hum, I'm gay." the young man stammered. This was not true, but it seemed to be a wise solution to a possibly deadly situation.
"Hmmm, that's too bad." Gabrielle said as she walked to the couch that held an assortment of clothing the tailor had brought for her to wear while she waited for he new cloths to be made. "Are we finished yet?" The tailor nodded in the affirmative. "Well, run along then. I'll see you in a few days." After the man left, she started dressing.
"Gee, Gabrielle? could you possibly have gotten a bigger tattoo?" Ares asked, from behind her. Gabrielle turned around to face him. Drawing her magical sword from its scabbard. "Ooow, not the Japanese sword again Gabrielle. I'm really scared." Ares said in mock fear. "Really, why do you wave that thing at me every time you see me? I'm a god you know; you can't hurt me with it."
"Who knows Ares, maybe it can cut down gods too. Want to find out?" Gabrielle asked.
"Some other time perhaps, but not now." Ares apprised the lovely Gabrielle standing in just her under britches, giving her a leer. Gabrielle tossed the sword into the bed and wrapped a sheet around herself.
"You're a pig Ares" Gabrielle said. Sitting down in a chair Gabrielle resigned herself to the fact that she would have to endure a visit from the war god.
Ares flopped into a chair next to her. "I may be a pig, but I'm also your biggest fan. Biggest, live fan anyway."
"Where is Xena when I need her?" Gabrielle thought. "What do you want Ares?"
"I want you, of course. Think of the things you and I could accomplish". Area watched Gabrielle very carefully, At this point, had he been speaking to Xena she would have come back with a put down and told him to go peddle his fish elsewhere. Gabrielle, in the past would have done the same, but not now. Gabrielle had a faraway look in her eyes and a strange smile on her face. When she began mumbling to herself, Ares realized that the torch in front of the house was on, but no one was home. With regret, Ares knew that Gabrielle was insane. Or, close to it. Too bad, Ares thought, I'll miss the fire of her misguided soul. If only I could have been the one to mold her from the beginning.
Gabrielle got up from her chair and stood looking down at the seated Ares. The light behind her eyes was on. "Their all dead Ares. Everyone I cared about is gone, Xena, Joxer, Ephiny?my husband? my daughter Hope, my parents, my sister, Solan?all dead." Ares stood and held Gabrielle in his arms. Surprisingly, she melted into his embrace.
As she began sobbing, Ares cooed to her. "Yes, little one, they are all gone but I'm still here. I will always be here for you, if you want me." At that point, Ares was not sure if he following his plan or speaking honestly.
The Big Girls Club
We road through the woods for about half an hour. Helena and Leila rode on either side of me. I was not sure if they positioned themselves there to save me should I start to fall from my horse of prevent me from wondering off the trail. Whatever the motivation, I must admit I enjoyed their company.
As we traveled closer to the Amazon village, we began to see more and more of the women warriors in plain view as opposed to lurking in the greenery. Riders had gone ahead to inform the regent or queen and her council of our pending arrival. I had expected them to be pointing spears in or faces as we entered the village, but instead most just watched us ride in, quite a few actually waved and shouted greeting. Not the welcome I had expected. I didn't know if I was relieved or disappointed.
The village was quit large, more like a small city really. The shelters were constructed of wood and were well maintained. It looked like a typical Greek city except for the lack of male citizens. Young Teddy would have to work on tightening up his jaw muscles. He was looking around in open-mouth amazement as we rode. Jett was grinning and waving as if he were leading his troops in a victory parade.
Finally, we halted in front of a long, one-story building. Judging by the skulls hanging over the entrance to the building, I suspected that this was not where the girl's glee club met. As we dismounted, we were ushered into the building. It took a moment for my eyes to become adjusted to the gloomy interior after being in the daylight. The room we stood in was long and lit by two great fire pits and dozens of torches mounted on stands and many candles on shelves on the walls. There were no windows. I didn't see any other doors then the one we entered through. Libia instructed us to wait here until the regent arrived. She then left the three of us alone. I could hear the door being locked from the outside.
The room was very hot and smelled like fish and sweat. I made a mental note not to allow myself to be confined in smaller quarters with one or more Amazons, if this was an indication of Amazon hi-gene. While Teddy and I stood sweating, my uncle looked around the great hall for something to steal.
"Man, with all the gold and silver those gals wear, you would think there would be something of valve in their council chamber." A clearly disappointed Jett said.
"This isn't the council chamber. It's where we clean and cook fish." We looked to the other end of the great hall and saw several women warriors filling in. I guess I missed the door at the other end. There were several of the pumped up women warriors, all looking like Xena want-to-be types. The one that spoke was a little older and most likely the one actually in charge of thinking. "How could you miss the smell of fish? It reeks in here." The speaker was a little less bulked up then the other Amazons present and actually quit attractive. I guessed her age to be about twenty-seven or twenty-eight.
Jett, the now official spokesman for our party spoke up. "We would like to see whoever is in charge. We come on a matter of great importance young lady. Although Amazon fish cooking must be a fascinating subject, we do not have the time for a tour of the kitchen."
I remembered that we were still armed and wondered how long we could fight the Amazons off before they overpowered and killed us because of Jett's big mouth. The Amazons didn't look very pleased by Jett's remarks.
"You must forgive my uncle ladies. He is an old man and tired from his travels. However, we would like to speak to your queen or regent as soon as we may."
The leader looked at us for a moment and then said; "Our Queen Gabrielle is away, but our Regent Tia welcomes the kin of Joxer, Champion of the Amazons to our village. Your were brought here only to leave you weapons before the meeting. Come this way and we will guide you to her."
The three of us placed out swords on a table and started to move forward. One of the Amazons blocked my uncle's path. "All you weapons, assassin." she said. Apparently word traveled fast here. Jet pulled out several daggers from his sleeves and the inside of his jacket. The Amazon just stared. As if suddenly remembering, Jett reached into his boots and removed two more long daggers. When he produced a knife tucked into his belt, under his vest the Amazon accepted he was weaponless or just gave up. We trooped out of the smelly fish house and felt relieved to be out in the fresh air.
We walked for several minutes before we came to the council chamber. It was actually the first building I had seen so far in the village that was not made of wood. The Great Hall as the Amazons referred to it was made of yellowish sandstone. It towered over the other one-story structures that comprised the village. It was three stories tall and one had to labor up an apron of fifty steps to get to the large double door entrance. As I had expected there were guards all around.
Turning to the nameless leader I asked about the building.
"This building has taken five years to complete. It all started when several Egyptians joined our tribe. They had engineering skills that have proved invaluable."
"Women engineers?" I thought, "How in the world did women learn that?"
"That sounds like a skill that would never be open to women. How did they learn?" I asked.
"Did you ever hear of Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt?" , she asked.
"Sure I have. But I don't get the connection."
"The Queen was way ahead of her time. She felt that women could do anything, learn any skill a man could. Of course she was murdered by a man."
"Okay, I understand you're a member of the men haters club, but tell me about these engineers of yours." I said.
"When the Queen was alive she had many women trained in many professions that previously had been closed to them. Once the queen was gone, these women left Egypt in search of a community that would allow them to use their skills. Many found their way here. We are not all just warriors you know."
I didn't know that. I thought war was their deal. The Amazons I had met as a child were all warriors. We came to the steps and started our ascent. Once we reached the great doors, our escorts turned around and left us. All accept our tour guide, the leader of the pack.
My uncle and Teddy had been silent during our walk. I could tell the Jett was listening closely for information that might be useful at a later date. The sights of the village and the thought that he would soon meet his mother and sister overwhelmed Teddy. As we entered the building I was astonished at the interior hallway. Evidently, there were some skilled painters and sculptures among the Amazons. The building would rival anything in Athens or Rome. We came to a set of doors guarded by a pair of ferocious looking Amazons and stopped while our guide knocked on one of the doors.
The doors were opened from the inside and we entered a huge room that had to be the council chamber. Looking up I saw that the ceiling was at least two stories high. We walked on a plush red carpet that extended almost fifty feet to a group of women at the other end of the carpet. I glanced at my uncle, who was appraising everything he passed.
When we had almost reached the women, one of them spoke to the group and then walked away from them and glided in out direction. Stopping two feet from me she said, "Kneel before the Queen's Regent."
Teddy started to drop done onto his knees but my uncle stopped him. I didn't see this because they were both behind me. Before Jett could get us into trouble, I spoke up. "The son of Joxer the Mighty, Protector of Greece and Champion of the Amazons does not kneel before king or queen or even Caesar himself. Most certainly not an old friend and comrade of my fathers."
The Amazon in front of me looked like she was ready, willing and able to beat the tar out of me for my insolence when one of the women behind her said, "Well spoken Virgil, son of Joxer." This must be the Regent, I thought, using my keen powers of deduction. She was another of the women that was about the right age to have been in the great battle against Rome with my father. Extending her hand she grasped my forearm and said. "We are pleased to see that the apple did not fall far from the tree. Joxer was never one for formalities." The Regent smiled as if remembering better times. "He used to call the council of queens the Big Girls Club." Now the smile became a laugh shared by several members of the regent's circle.
One of the women behind the regent called out, "Remember the time during a war council Joxer sent Queen Myron out of the room to get him wine and cheese?" This brought on a flood of Joxer stories that went on for several minutes. As the stories continued, the Regent walked us to an alcove that was a seating area. Now sitting, some of the tension began to fade from me.
While my uncle chatted away with the Amazons, Teddy and I sat quietly waiting for Regent Tia to get to the subject of out visit. After an hour, food was brought in and we ate while Jett charmed the women with tales of his and a few of my father's adventures that the Amazons were not aware of. It occurred to me that Jett would make a fine bard if he could write as well as he talked.
After a very good meal, some of the Amazons left to attend to other duties. The Regent had summoned the patrol leader, Libia and the Amazon that had met us at the fish house. Libia smiled at young Teddy and me, but saved her best smile for Jett. Apparently, Libia was quit taken with the old villain. Our former guide and president of the men hater's club regarded us as something unpleasant she might find sticking to the bottom of her boot.
The Regent tapped her tankard on the table to get everyone's attention. Once all eyes were on her she spoke very formally. "Today we have privileged visitors before the council. I use the word privileged because they are the blood kin of the late Joxer, Champion of the Amazon Nation. I ask the elder kinsman, Jett to stand and address the council."
About twenty Amazons were present at the council. In addition to the council members, the room contained perhaps another ten warriors, including guards and the two invited Amazons we had met before. Jett stood and said, "Thank you Queen?ah Regent Tia. We are on the first leg of a two-part mission. Both concern the Amazons of this tribe." Jett paused to gage the response of the assembled women. He had their attention. "Some of you know Meg the widow of my late brother Joxer. She has instructed her son, Virgil here, and me to find your Queen Gabrielle and bring her home to Athens. I happened to come across Gabrielle in Egypt while on business. I was shocked at the state she was in. The death of Xena has had a terrible impact on her. She roams the dessert alone and attacks Romans and innocent travelers alike. She does not know friend from foe. Had I not been Joxer's twin, she might have killed me as well. The people of the desert have named her Death Bringer. Once we have concluded our business here, we will go on to find Gabrielle."
Regent Tia held up a hand to stop him. "Jett? I'm not sure that taking Gabrielle to Athens is something we would agree to at this point. But we will speak in more depth about that later. What is the other part of your mission?"
Jett looked to young Teddy as if he expected to boy to take over from here. Teddy was a big lad for his age, and sometimes people expected him to act older then he really was. I think this was the case now.
"If I may?" Gods, did I just say that? Guess so, everyone was looking at me now. Libia, who had been standing behind the seated Regent, whispered in Tia's ear. Now both women politely smiled at me. They probably would have done the same if I started drooling. After all, I was the dimwitted son of Joxer and any Amazon worth her salt would have done the same.
"Yes, go on Virgil, something you wanted to say?" Tia said sweetly. The other Amazons looked at her as if she were the dimwit, not knowing of my reputation as a simpleton.
Jett shot me his false sincere smile and added, "Go ahead boy, you can do it."
"We were asked by my commander, General Theodore to seek out the Amazon Wasand."
The smile left the Regent's face. "Wasand? What on earth for, Virgil?" She said slowly. I couldn't tell if she was trying to grasp the idea or if she was speaking slowly so that I could keep up. Feeble-witted, as they believed me to be.
Our tour guide took a step toward me and hissed, "What do you want with my mother?" She looked like she wanted to cut me into little pieces for just bringing up her mother's name.
"Oh, this is great." I thought. Now that she was not playing tour guide I realized that she was kind of scary.
"She's my mother too." Young Theodore blurted out. All eyes were now on him, except mine. I was watching the tour guide to counter any attack she might make. Too bad I had no weapons. Maybe I could mumble incoherently at her and she would run away.
"Is this true?" The Regent asked. It seemed to be a question directed at Teddy. I have to give Teddy full points. For a kid, he stepped up to the plate, and took a swing.
"My father says it's true and that's good enough for me." Now it was Teddy that looked like he was ready to take names and kick the butt of anyone that would question his father's word.
This just gets better and better I thought. What can go wrong now?
Jett walked over to the tour guide and spoke softly to her while she stared alternating daggers between Teddy and me.
"What's you name sweetheart?" The Amazon took her eyes off of Teddy and looked into the eyes of a kindly old man. Jett is a master of deceit, you know.
"My name is Masand" she replied just as softly.
"Where do these women get their names from?" I mumbled to myself.
Kindly old Jett, the assassin began to spin his magic web. "Well Masand, did you happen to notice that young Theodore over there and you have the same color hair and the same nose. If you look closer, you will see that you also have the same eyes."
Masand did look closer and could not disagree that there was a striking resemblance. A family resemblance you might say. The Regent had walked over to young Teddy and looked of into his face.
"Yep? they are brother and sister alright", the Regent decreed.
"Excellent. Mission one accomplished." I said.
"This is a problem." the Regent said.
"No, no, no, everything is fine, it's great." I proclaimed. "A brother and sister united after all these years. My heart is going all pitter - pat. Praise the Gods! Truly their work is divine." I pranced around the room, trying to share the sunshine and joy with everyone. No one was having it.
A hand grasped my shoulder firmly. "Take a seat Junior," a big blonde haired guard, said. That was it! I was tired of playing the nitwit and calling me junior was the last draw. It's about time the Big Girl's Club learned whom they were dealing with. I grab the meaty hand that was on my shoulder and spun around the Amazon so that I had her arm pulled behind her back with one hand. With the other, I pulled her sword out of the scabbard strapped to her back. Now with sword in hand, I pushed her away with my foot on her back. She went flying several feet. I spun the sword around in my hand about five times. The balance was excellent. And it looked real impressive too.
Teddy's newfound sister was the closest to me now. She was not impressed my sword twirling abilities. In a flash she had her sword in her hand and began advancing. "Drop the sword. Now!" she shouted at me.
"Yeah, right, who's going to make me, you? I don't think so sweet cheeks." I sneered. She lunged at me. In retrospect, I have to admit that the sweet cheeks remark was a little over the top. Her face was filled with anger. I easily blocked everything she sent my way. Jabs, kicks, slices, thrust, whatever she had I dealt with. "You have to do better then that sister." I mocked. She gave me one of those smiles that said, "I'm really going to enjoy kicking you butt."
As we circled each other she said, "You want my "A" game you got it pal." I didn't know what that meant, but I knew it couldn't be good.
I had to stop our little dance to brush off a couple of guards that were trying to cut in. Well, really they were trying to cut me with their swords. When I made eye contact with her again, I smiled and simply said, "Bring it on."
Then I heard the loudest yell I had ever heard a women yell in my life. I thought my brain was going to spill out of my ears. I looked at the Amazon Masand and she was backing up. Her eyes were filled with fear. In fact all the other Amazons were moving to the other side of the room. I have only seen this once before back in Athens when grandpa passed gas in a small room. I didn't think Gramps had followed us, so it must be something even worse. Teddy and Jett were moving to the side of the room the Amazons were on. I have to admit I was scared to turn around and see what was behind me. But I did. "Mother is that you?" I asked the form approaching me.
"No Virgil, it's me, Xena"
________________________________________________________________________
Back In Egypt
Gabrielle had really enjoyed the last two weeks. Xena had not been around, but the Gabster was not concerned. Xena always turned up whenever she was needed. She wasn't needed now. Ares had proven himself to be a great companion. He showed her a side of himself that Gabrielle was unaware of. Ares proved to be very knowledgeable about Egyptian culture, history and even geography. Their days were spent taking in the sights and shopping. You must remember that Ares is a god and has the ability to endure a shopping spree with a woman everyday of the week unlike mortal men. He would stand patiently with packages in hand while Gabrielle haggled prices with merchants and venders. Despite the fact that money was no object. Ares could fill the city with tons of gold if he wanted to, but Gabrielle insisted that negotiating was half the fun of shopping.
Their evenings were spent having dinners in the most eloquent restaurants the city had to offer. After dinner, Ares always seemed to know of a play they just had to see or the location of one of the better traveling bards that could spin a good yarn. None of the bards were as good as Gabrielle, of course, but they did offer a few hours of entertainment. The mental road to recovery Gabrielle was on impressed Ares. Gabrielle's attempts to murder innocent people for imagined offences were down to no more then once or twice a week. He had convinced her that her sword and chakram were accessories that conflicted with her fine evening ware, and should be left in her suite. Because he was the God of War, he felt fairly confident he could deal with any would be mugger.
After the first few days Gabrielle had stopped issuing instructions to her phantom Amazons. She still mumbles to herself but she had always done that. (It's a little known fact, but Gabrielle moves her lips when she reads.) Ares enjoyed the nights the most. It took about ten days to bed the lovely warrior-bard but it was worth the investment of time. Ares had made love to thousands of women, but none could compare to Gabrielle. She proved to be a hellion in bed. Making love to Gabrielle was not just exciting, it was an adventure. Every now and then she would plunge a knife into his chest during a moment of passion. Okay, there were a few kinks to be worked out. But the road to sanity was not a short road. All in all, Gabrielle was making excellent progress.
________________________________________________________________________
Ghost of Princess Past
My jaw and my sword dropped at the same rate. Fortunately only my sword hit the floor. Standing before me was Xena, Supernatural Visitant.
"Virgil, close your mouth, you'll draw flies." Xena said.
There she was the embodied spirit of Xena. She looked solid, like a real person. Reaching out to me she placed her finger under my chin and pushed my mouth closed. Her touch was cold, like? well, the touch of the dead. She then bent down and scooped up my sword and smiled as if nothing were out of the norm. Crossing her arms, and studying me she said. "How ya' been Virgil?"
"Okay" I mumbled. As a practiced bard, I can be depended on to have a verbal response for any situation. Not always a great response, but a response never the less. Then the bravest man in the room spoke up.
"Are you Xena? I? I thought you were dead." Teddy said.
Xena glanced at the youth. Despite the fact that Teddy was a head taller then my six feet frame, Xena could see that Teddy was just a boy in a man's body. "Cute kid.' Xena said to me. "He looks like someone I used to know."
"That's General Theodore's son, Teddy." Regent Tia said as she causally walked up to us. I guess that's why she got to be the regent, being all brave and stuff. A few of the Xena-Want-To-Bees followed her. No one had a weapon in hand. What would be the point? We all knew that on a bad day she could out-fight us all when she was alive. Now that she was dead she wouldn't even have to make any defensive moves. Did I say we all knew? That's not quite true. Anytime you get a group of people together, there is always one that is not quite up to speed. In this case it was my uncle Jett.
Regardless of his advanced years, Jett sprang like a cat, landing between Xena and myself. Jett produced two short swords and twirled them around impressively. "Ha-ha, perhaps you remember me!"
"Hello Jace. I didn't know you could juggle." Xena said dryly. With the mention of the name Jace, my uncle stopped spinning the swords around. "I'm not Jace, I'm Jett, you know, the King of Assassins."
Xena pointed the sword she had picked up earlier at Jett. "Unless you want to add sword eating to your resume, you better quit waving those thing at me." Poor Uncle Jett was deflated. His hands dropped to his sides. The swords fell to the floor.
"Who's Jace?" I asked my uncle.
As he picked up the swords from the floor, he said, "Another time, boy." He slid the swords into his belt. As soon as they were in his belt, he walked to the rear of the assembled group. There, an Amazon took the swords from him while making a tisk-tisk sound.
Now Tia held the floor. "Why have you come to us Xena?"
"I need your help; or rather Gabrielle needs your help."
Of course that was the reason I thought to myself. I had forgotten that the whole world revolves around Gabrielle. Apparently the world of the dead were also concerned with the Gabster's well being. Next Tia would ask how the Amazons could aid their queen.
"How can we aid our queen?" Tia ask, without missing a beat.
Am I a physic, or what? I have to remember to stop off at Troy on the way home and buy some lotto tickets. But, I'm a team player, so I said, "That's one of the reasons we are here as well."
Xena gave me a measured look. "Thanks Virgil, I know you're not really very fond of Gabrielle. I appreciate your help."
I felt this was as good a time as any to lay my cards on the table. Just so Xena and the Big Girl's Club know where I stand. "Not fond of Gabrielle is an understatement. I'll tell you the truth Xena, my mother sent us to bring Gabrielle home to Athens so that my mother can care for her. You remember my mother don't you Xena? She's the one that looks like you and was always pulling you and your sidekick out of the jams that the two of you always managed to blunder into. Seems to me this is just another one of those times. The only difference is she's getting a little old to go tracing across the world to do it, so she sent me."
Surprisingly, Xena did not seem to take offence at my little outburst. When I didn't add anything more she said. "Virgil, it's true that we owe Meg a great deal and your father even more?" Before she could go on, a voice spoke up from the peanut gallery. It was Masand. Didn't I just say there was always one not on the same page?
"Just who do you think your talking to?" she said as she grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face her.
I was not about to take anything from her that was for sure. I decided to intimidate her with my excellent bardy powers and mastery of the Greek language. "Actually it's whom do you think your talking to, not who." I said rather smugly. She looked at me as if she had no idea of what I was referring to. Okay, if she didn't get it because she lacked proper Greek, I would go down to her level. "I was addressing the Ghost of Xena, not you little girl. As soon as the words escaped my lips, I realized that she wasn't that little and unlike me, armed. I made a mental note to myself not to insult savage women warriors that possessed weapons while I had nothing to defend myself with except my big mouth. That is when my savior Teddy stepped in between us.
"Stop it right now!" Teddy barked at his big sister. "I'm sorry Xena and Gabrielle have problems. I'll do whatever I can to help", pointing at Masand he added, "If you would stop attacking Virgil every five minutes, maybe I can find out about my mother, our mother. Don't you get it? We're all on the same side."
My man Teddy was absolutely correct on all counts. Being dead and being insane were differently problems of a major a magnitude. And the wacko, grammatically challenged Masand really should stop attacking innocent, little me. And, what was the deal on Wasand anyway? I wondered. Teddy's short speech had the desired affect on Masand. She slowly slid her sword back into its scabbard and took a step closer to Teddy. After a moment's hesitation, she through her arms around Teddy, giving him the most sincere hug he problem ever had in his life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a girly-man or anything but this moved me. Genuine affection from an Amazon, you don't get to see that very often. I wasn't the only one that was moved. There were plenty of sniffles and watery eyes all around. Except for Xena, she probably didn't have the ability to tear up, being dead and all.
"The kid makes a good point," Xena said. "Where is Wasand?"
Reluctantly, Masand disengaged from embracing her brother. She turned around to face Xena. Knowing what she would say next would impact her brother; she placed her arm around his shoulder to comfort him. "My mother was leading a war party to find the Sage of Dracmon when they were attacked by the warlord Draco the Second. Many were killed, a few escaped, but my mother and three others were captured and taken to Draco's stronghold." Teddy said nothing but I could see a slight tremor go through his body.
"I remember the first Draco," my uncle said as he moved to the front of the group. "If this guy is anything like his father, he's really bad news"
Thank you Uncle Jett. I thought. The master assassin was also a master of stating the obvious. Of course, Draco's son would be just as bad or worse. How could I expect anything else? I made a mental review of my things to do list. I added Save Captured Amazons below Find Crazy Woman.
"Draco" Xena hissed. "I should have killed him years ago."
I hadn't said anything for a while so I offered my input to the discussion group. I was sure that my keen insights would enlighten the assembled unwashed. "Yeah, that's messed up."
Standing right in front of me, the savage Masand lifter her leg at the knee and kicked her heel up into my groin area. I dropped like a ton of Roman bricks to the floor. No one noticed as I rolled in pain on the hard floor. Because I was in the company of ladies?ah make that women, I didn't grab the damaged part of my body. I opted to grab my head instead.
"Don't blame yourself Xena," my uncle said. "Who would have thought Draco could get a date, let alone reproduce?"
I managed to get on my knees. I grabbed onto Masand's hips for support. "What about my ability to reproduce?" I crooked.
Masand apparently took this as an offer to couple and not the sincere concern for my manhood and the future generations of my line that it really was. With a back thrust of her elbow into my face, I fell back to the floor in a semi-state of awareness. "Dad would love this floor tile", I mumbled to myself, "It's very porous?less trips and falls."
"Virgil, are you all right?" Teddy asked, as I bumped his butt with my nose. Pulling me to my feet, I came into eye contact with the demon Masand. Fearing more abuse from her, I said something about tripping and falling. Someone said something about like father, like son. Masand smiled innocently and I noticed what beautiful pouting lips and gleaming white teeth she had. Payback's a bitch, I thought as I smiled back at her.
Xena was use to the occasional trips and falls my father suffered and learned not to be distracted by them lone age. She was not distracted now by what she assumed to be my hereditary bumbling. "Why were they going to find the Sage?" As if on cue, all eyes turned to an old woman I had not noticed before standing alone in the shadows. She started to amble forward with the aid of a cane. The Amazons parted out of respect or were repelled by her, I couldn't tell which. Either way, they made a path for her to approach Xena. As she came closer, she looked creepier and creepier. I wisely kept my observations to myself. Unlike the half naked Amazons, she was covered from head to toe in black robes. Only her damaged face showed. She looked like she had been badly burned sometime in the past. Jett was now standing next to me. He had moved out of the way with some of the Amazons as she drew near.
I whispered to Jett, "Hey Jet, who's your girlfriend?"
"Show some respect boy. I don't know her name, but that's the chief shaman of the Amazon Nation." I guess I should have been more impressed then I was at that point. I knew that a shaman was some kind of a spiritualist, or medium, but that was about the extent of my knowledge of Amazon witchcraft.
"Xena, you refuse to take your place among the dead?" The shaman asked. "Do you think your will is stronger then the will of Gods?" She said nothing more, waiting for Xena to respond. Maybe this is some kind of test, I thought.
"I bow only to the fates. As for the Gods, I've killed the ones that tried to kill me."
The old woman cackled. If Xena had made a joke, I missed it. "Well said, Xena. Now I know we have made the right decision. Tell me, where are your ashes? Have they been returned to your family's place of rest?"
"No, Gabrielle has yet to bring them to our family crept."
Turning to Regent Tia, the old woman said, "You must try again Regent. Perhaps with the help of Xena you will not fail." Having said that, the old shaman walked back into the shadows.
I turned to Jett. "What did I miss? What just happened?"
Xena glided over to Tia. "I'm with Virgil on this one. What was that all about?" I was glad to see that I was not the only one confused. Even Xena didn't get it.
Tia thought about what she was going to say for a moment. Finally she spoke. "The Queen sent word that you had been killed and cremated before her ship left Japan. There was a Greek vassal that was heading back to Greece. News reached us before she even made landfall in Egypt. She ordered that a Shaman Council was to be formed and our wisest were to see if anything could be done. After many moons of study the shaman found that you could be brought back, or resurrected if your ashes were not returned to your rightful resting place. The Sage of Dracmon has a scroll with the incantations that will return you to your living self. But there is one problem?"
"No, you're kidding." I thought.
"What's the problem", Xena ask through clinched teeth.
"We don't have a person that can recite the incantation from the scroll."
"Ah-ha" I thought. "I should have known these savages were probably all illiterate. Fortunately for them I am a man of letters. Being the educated fellow that I am, I can speak, read and write Latin and Arabic as well as my native Greek." Perhaps I should offer my services. Before I could say anything Xena ask if the scroll was written in an ancient language unknown to them. Tai responded that the problem was not the inability to read the scroll, because it was fairly easy to read, being written in Farceman. After all, she added, all Amazons were fluent in many dead languages as well as the five major current ones. Okay, so they are a little more educated then I gave them credit for. But my Greek grammar was still better then theirs.
"If you know how to read the scroll, what's the problem?" Xena asked.
Tia looked around the room and then turned her eyes to Xena. "The problem is that none of us meets the requirements to do the incantation. The speaker that reads the scroll must be an adult of Amazon blood that has never drawn blood. There are thousands of adult Amazons in the village, but everyone of them has drawn blood in combat, even the shamans have fought and killed at one time or another.
"I have the solution? I think." Did I just say that out loud? That's the second time I've spoken without thinking it through. Yep, I sure did, all eyes were on me. "Tia, what is considered an adult by the Amazons?"
"That's Regent to you." Masand hissed.
Here I was, the man with the plan and little Miss Manners was bugging me about courtly etiquette. "Excuse me for not following protocol ladies (and I use the term loosely) but my main man Teddy is the person you need."
"Hello? Theodore is not an Amazon." Masand said, as if the general option that I was a dimwit had been proven correct.
I started walking to take my rightful place between Xena and Tia, sort of like advancing from the kid's table to the grownup table. I whispered to Masand as I passed her. "Your so cute when you act stupid." I stood with the regent and ghost and repeated my question. "Regent Tia, what is an adult by Amazon standards?"
Quick witted, as Tia was she informed me that seventeen was the age of an adult. "And your point is?" she asked. This was the chance I was waiting for. I was about to demonstrate my superior powers of deduction and show them that I was the man, when Xena, Dead Princess Warrior snatched my thunder from me.
"The point is that Teddy is Wasand's child, therefore is of Amazon blood." Turning to young Theodore she asked,"Teddy, how old are you?"
Teddy, now the center of attention, blushed and replied, "I'm sixteen".
I could feel the collective hopes of all present crash to the floor. Too bad, the correct answer is seventeen. No return to life for Xena. No all expense paid trip to the home of the Sage of Dracmon. Perhaps the Nation of Amazons will have some nice parting gifts for us for playing the game.
"But? but I'll be seventeen in five days" Teddy added. This was met by sighs of relief from the Amazons audience.
Now, for the grand prize question asked by our host, Tia. "Teddy, I want you to think very carefully. Have you ever drawn blood in combat?"
Teddy mulled the question over in his mind. "Does a fist fight count?" he asked.
From the shadows, the old shaman and apparently our contest judge shouted, "Fist fights are okay. The question should be did you ever kill anyone."
Thank you Judge Hag. I thought to myself.
Teddy smiled and stated for the record, "No, I have never killed anyone."
Savage whoops and cheers were shouted. Xena was smiling from ear to ear. Probably thinking about making hot monkey love when she returned to the flesh. Everyone was hugging and kissing Teddy. He was the man of the hour. I shook his hand before he was pulled away. They were probably going to cover his naked body in mud and have him howl at Sister Moon until Sister Sun brightened the sky or some other quaint Amazon custom. Standing alone, I mentally reviewed my things to do list.
1. Find crazy woman
2. Save captured Amazons
3. Bring Xena back from the dead
Hey, my list is getting longer, not shorter. My uncle slid up beside me. "This is getting good isn't it Virgil?" I looked at him as if he was speaking a foreign language. Maybe one of the dead languages the Amazons were so well versed in.
"Well I don't know Jett. Define good for me." I said dryly.
"Come on boy, this is going to be a great adventure. We will save the captured Amazons, restore Xena to her former self, unite Teddy with his mother and pick up Gabrielle along the way." So, Uncle Jett also had a things to do list.
"You make it all sound so simple Jett. Everything you just said is a monumental task in it's self."
Jet smiled and shook his head. "Don't be so negative boy. Your father would be loving this if he were here." I was about to tell the old man that I was not my father, I'm just me when Libia called to him. Jett winked at me and said, "What can I tell you? Chicks dig me." With that said, he walked arm and arm out of the great hall with Libia.
________________________________________________________________________
Mr. Yummy Meets the Amazons
Apparently chicks don't dig me, because I was standing alone in the great hall. Where was I going to sleep? Where was I going to get breakfast? Would a bath be too much out of the question? These and many more questions plagued my mind as I walked out of the great hall into the cool night air. I didn't know where to go, so I sat down in the steps of the stone building. I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself when a female voice called out to me, "What's ya up to, Mr. Yummy?" I looked in the direction the voice had come from. It was getting pretty dark so I couldn't see too far. Out of the dark stepped two Amazon warriors. The blonde was tall and lovely. Her beautiful companion was short with raven black hair. They were my two new aunts, Helena and Leila. They were leaning on each other for support. The wineskin they passed between them suggested they were off duty. Flopping down on either side of me, I could tell that the stories about the strength of Amazon wine were true.
"Virgil, I have some bad news for you and some more bad news for you." Blonde-Helena whispered into my ear. "Which one do you want first?" For some reason, both women found this question to be very amusing, and started to giggle. Helena had her arm draped around me and was leaning heavily into me. Leila sat on my lap and run her index finger in circles on my chest.
"Well, pick one." Leila insisted. The choice between bad new and more bad news didn't really seem very appealing to me but I'm a sport so I played along.
"I guess I'll take the bad news." I said flatly. A squeal escaped from Leila before she planted her lips firmly on mine. Except for a slight taste of wine, it was a really enjoyable kiss. Her tongue began to roam around in my mouth as her strong hands held my head in place. Our kiss was interrupted when Helena pried her away from me.
Pulling me to my feet and knocking Leila to the steps in the process, she asked, "Do you want some more bad news Virgil?"
I understood the question now. "Ooh, Yeah, I want more bad news. Lay it on me." Now Helena was the one locking lips with me. Alternating kisses lead to alternating touching and stroking. My hands started an expedition of the two scantly clad women as we walked away for the lighted steps into the dark. I couldn't see but I heard a door being opened. We staggered through a doorway and were met by warm, humid air. I pulled my head away from Leila and her serpentine tongue and glanced around the dimly lit interior of the building. We were in a bathhouse. I thanked whatever Gods Xena had not murdered for my good luck.
Both Amazons broke away from me and removed what little clothing they had. It took about two heartbeats. I would have stood there and ogled them but as soon as they were nude they started to undress me. Once I was naked, we climbed into the hot pool. Our touchy-feely activity was progressing very nicely, when the cloud came to rain on my happy parade.
"Just what do you think your doing?" a harsh female voice asked. I slowly looked up to see Masand the Man Hater. "You two out of the water now." She barked. Both of my very shapely playmate/aunts shot out of the pool and stood at attention, dripping water. I was at attention as well but no one knew. As my two best aunts received a tongue-lashing I grinned like the cat that ate the mouse. Once the evil Masand dismissed them the two women garbed their clothing and scampered away. Now she turned her attention to me. "You get out of the water too, you pervert." She hissed at me.
"Somehow I don't really think you want me to do that right now Masand." I said with a wink.
"I'm in charge here. Do what I say. Now." She yelled at me.
"Oh well if you're in charge, I guess I should. When I was half way out of the water Masand's eyes bugged out. "Uh? I'll wait outside she said backing out the door.
I walked out of the bathhouse, all clean and refreshed. I was getting a little hungry, but my spirits were up and my passion was down, so to speak. Standing outside was Little Miss Sunshine, Masand, looking all put out. She was doing one of those girl things, arms across her chest and tapping her foot. I couldn't see her eyes in the dark but I knew she was giving me the evil eye and thinking unkind thoughts about me.
"Well, are you happy Pervert?"
"Pervert?" I said in shock. "If you mean did I enjoy my bath the answer is yes. If you mean did I enjoy the company of two lovely ladies, I was starting to until you came along." She just stared at me; I guess I was expected to say more. Two can play that game. I'll just stand here and smile until she cracks.
"Sex, is that all you men think about?" she growled.
I better think this one out. I'm a normal guy. I probably spend one third of my waking moments thinking about sex. I better not admit that, after all I knew a trick question when I heard it. "Of course not." I said as indignantly as I could. "I'm insulted that you would even suggest such a thing."
"What else do you think about?"
I had a feeling my show of indignantly didn't fool her. Worst yet, I couldn't think of anything else that I ever thought about. Finally I blurted out, "Hey, I'm a guy, that's what we do." Whoever said speak the truth and it will set you free, had never met Masand. She grabbed my ear and began pulling my down the street. "Where are you taking me?" now I was a bit nervous. I didn't want to go to Amazon jail or worst, one of those pits the Amazons toss you into with spikes waiting for you at the bottom.
I was relived when she informed me that she was taking me back to her hut. Hmm? I thought. That doesn't sound so bad. Maybe this was some kind of Amazon ritual. Like the caveman dragging the cavewomen by her hair. I elected to probe the subject. "And what do you have in mind when we get there Sweetheart?" This innocent question earned me three swift kicks in the butt and a punch in the abs. Now I was flat on my back, looking up at the stars. I felt the side of my head; my ear was still there. As Masand reached for me, I held up my hands in surrender. I didn't really want to fight her and bring the other three thousand Amazons down on me. Only Xena would be that dumb. "Okay, okay, I get the point." I said. "I won't give you any trouble, let's just walk together like normal human brings.
Masand looked at me as she thought it over. She had beaten me down several times now and I had not retaliated. She probably surmised that I was a lover and not a fighter.
"I have always heard that you were a tough guy." She said. She looked disappointed.
"Where did you get that information?" I asked.
"I read all of Gabrielle's scrolls we have in the village. You're in several of them."
Now I was curious. "Oh, I wouldn't put too much faith in the scrolls; Gabrielle makes half of it up." I said.
Masand studied me then asked, "So your father didn't save Greece and the Amazon Nation?
Standing up I said, "Of course he did. That one is true."
Now she was walking away. I, being the bright fellow that I am, tagged alone beside her. "Did Gabrielle and Xena save you from cannibals?
Darn, why did I say she made half of her stories up? All her stories were true. "Well yes, that one is true too." She went on listing the stories and I went on admitting they were all true. Finally, I fessed up. "Look, I don't know why I said that she made half of the stories up. She didn't, I'm a liar. Happy now?" I asked.
We walked on in silence for a while when she stopped and said, "Virgil, Gabrielle thinks you blame her for you're your fathers death. It that true?"
Some of the anger was coming back to me, as I remembered my father charging at Livia in an effort to save Gabrielle. An old man going up against one of the best combatants of our time. "Well, she got that right. If she wasn't so stupid as to walk into Liver's camp and get herself captured, my father might still be alive today." Now I was the one that started walking. I didn't know where I was going but I was making tracks never the less. Masand caught up to me and grabbed my arm to stop me. I turned on her, ready to defend myself from her next attack. But none came.
"Can I ask you a question Virgil?"
Will wonders never cease? Masand wanted to politely ask me a question. Gee, I thought she knew it all. "A question from you? I feel honored."
Masand let my smart-ass remark pass and said. "Okay, did you ever think that a man like Joxer, a warrior might have wanted to end his life that way? Going up against a villain he had no hope of defeating, but being the hero he was, determined to try.
I thought that over for about a second. "Masand. That is probably the dumbest, most ignorant thing anyone has ever said to me. My father would never get himself killed on purpose. I started walking and she scurried right behind me.
"Virgil, hear me out. I didn't say it the right way. Let me try again. Please."
I stopped walking. I should not be so hard on her. She wasn't there at the battle, I was. She was basing everything she knew about the matter on the demented writings of Gabrielle. "All right, fine, let's hear the world according to Masand. Lay it on me."
I had to give her credit; she could let insults roll off her back when she wanted to. "Would you say that Gabrielle would have been killed if not for the intervention of your father?"
I had to think about that. I remembered, I was fighting with several Legionaries at the time and Xena was taking on more soldiers then me. Neither of us could have stopped Gabrielle from being killed, we were too far away. "Yes, she would have been killed, if not for my father."
Masand placed her hand gently on my shoulder. "Virgil, as old as Joxer was, he was still a brave man. Who could expect him to do anything less? Joxer was the kind of man that would gladly sacrifice himself for another."
I could feel my anger draining away as fast as it had surfaced. Masand was pretty thoughtful for an Amazon. She seemed to have a good understanding of my father. I noticed that her hand was still on my shoulder. "Your not too bad Masand? for an Amazon that is." I said softly. Masand removed her hand from my shoulder and we
started to walk again.
"Thanks Virgil, coming from you, that's high praise, indeed." This Amazon was not a total savage. In fact, she was kind of pleasant when she wasn't attacking me.
Now that we were getting along so well, I asked where her brother was. The last time I had seen him, the jubilant Amazons were carrying him away.
"Wow that sounds really funny, my brother. He's waiting for us at my hut. He'll be staying with me as long as he's here." Masand added with a smile. "He's a big kid ain't he?" I let the poor grammar slip by with out comment.
"Yes, he's a big boy alright, just like his dad."
Masand looked down at the ground as if the dirt held some magical secret. "His father would be my father as well." Masand said slowly. I was beginning to feel a little sorry for this Amazon woman. She had a lot hitting her at once. First her mother gets captured by a warlord, which has to be stressful. Then, a brother she never knew turns up out of nowhere. "Do you know Theodore's father Virgil?I mean our father, very well?"
I think she was hiding a smile when I started to talk about the senior Theodore.
"I've known the General all my life. While Xena and Gabrielle were taking their ice nap, my father and Theodore went on many adventures. He was sort of like my dad's sidekick? like Xena and Gabrielle."
"You mean they were lovers." Masand asked in amazement.
"I had to chuckle at that one. I guess I wasn't the only one that had that feeling about Xena and the Gabster. "Well, they were close, but I don't think they were that close. More like buddies or pals. You know, best friends."
"So what is he like, my father? I always wondered? but never thought I would get the chance to find out."
"Well as you might guess, he's real big. He's the general of our army, so he has to be brave and smart." I thought a little more, "He's all business when he's on duty, but he can be a real humorist when he wants to be. He knows more about the arts and politics then anyone I know. He's the one that was always encouraging me to become a bard."
"So it was your father that wanted you to be a warrior?"
I had to laugh at that. "Dad? No way, He wanted me to become a blacksmith. He was always very impractical in his own life but wanted all his kids to learn useful skills. He always said that anyone can wave a sword around, but not too many could shoe a horse properly"
Masand smiled at me and said, "Sounds like both my father and yours gave you some excellent advice."
Now I was starting to enjoy the woman's company. If I were to close my eyes I could imagine I was speaking to a normal woman, not a half-naked, savage.
My stroll down memory lane ended when we arrived at Masand' hut. Teddy's eyes lit up when we entered the doorway. "Virgil, where have you been? Masand has been looking all over for you."
I was about to respond, when my olfactory senses alerted me to the fact that something was cooking in the pot suspended over the firepit and it smelled really good. I held up my hands in surrender to the lad. "All in good time Sport. What is that wonderful smell? Could it be food?"
Masand was way ahead if me. She handed me a bowl and a big wooden spoon. "Help yourself Virgil." I didn't need to be told twice. I attacked the pot with vigor. Now with a heaping bowl of some kind of stew in my hands I sat down next to Teddy at the large wooden table and began to eat.
Teddy blabbed on, "Masand was afraid you would run into some Amazons that would give you a hard time."
I smiled, "A hard time?" Masand shot me a look that said shut up. "Actually Theodore, every Amazon I met was very accommodating." I glanced at Masand. That clever remark didn't get past her either. I felt myself slipping in the Masand popularity pole. I decided to do some damage control. "But none were as lovely or as charming as your sister.
"Cut the bull Virgil and eat." she said. But, the way she said it told me that I had not offended her at least.
After two more helpings of the excellent stew, I pushed my bowl away. Masand sat across the table from me, elbows propped on the table with hands cupping her lovely face. "How can you eat so much and still stay so slim?" she asked.
"I credit it all to my mother. She always kept us on a low starch diet."
Masand's eyes glazed over. Teddy's lip quivered. What a stupid thing to say. Here I was talking about my mother while theirs was being held captive. "Oh. I'm sorry. I'm an idiot; I sometime speak with out thinking."
Teddy looked like he was about to cry. Masand stood up and walked behind Teddy. Hugging him from behind she said. "That's okay Virgil, no harm done." She looked down at Teddy and added, "Don't you worry Theodore. We'll get Wasand back. You can bet on it."
Teddy pulled it together. It must be the Amazon blood. He put on a brave face and said, "Your darn right we will, Sis. Now it was Masand that almost lost it. I thought I saw a little moister in her eyes.
I cleared my throat. "Well, my work here is done. I managed to bum both of you out. If you could direct me to the guest huts, I'll be my way. I still have another three thousand Amazons, a ghost and a wicked uncle to depress before Sister Sun brings a new day."
Teddy looked at me and pleaded, "Don't go Virgil." Masand stood up, breaking her embrace from Teddy and added. "There is room here and your welcome to stay."
I didn't know if she was being polite or if she really meant it. I decided that Amazons probably were not polite by nature and she was being sincere. "Okay, I appreciate the hospitality, I'll just crash here and you two can get to know each other a little better. Masand the proper Amazon hostess tossed me a blanket and opened a door to a little room. Inside was a sleeping pallet. The room was illuminated by one small candle. I flopped down on the sleeping pallet and pulled off my boots. I stretched out on the pallet and laced my fingers behind my head. Looking up at the wooden ceiling, I started thinking about the next phase of my mission. Goofy Gabby could stew in her own juices for all I cared. I was going to rescue Wasand and the other Amazons from Draco the Second. I leaned over and blew out the candle. In the dark I started thinking about Masand? wait, how did that pop into my head? I focused on the mission ahead, freeing the Amazons and making one nice kid very happy.
________________________________________________________________________
The Improved Gabrielle?
Ares dropped his legs off the side of the bed. Now in a sitting position he noticed the light of day was filtering into the room. "Had we been doing the nasty all night long?" The god asked himself. He untangled himself from the silk sheets and silently eased himself from the bed. Grabbing a robe, he slipped it on and tiptoed to the bedroom door. If his luck held out, he would not awaken Gabrielle. Fun was fun, but the woman was insatiable. Slowly opening the door enough to squeeze through, he took one more glance at the voracious woman in bed. Ares heart skipped a beat every time he looked at her nude form. Gabrielle slept while Ares entered the sitting room and quietly closed the door behind him. Standing in the room, glaring at him was Aphrodite.
"Just what where you doing with Gabrielle?" Aphrodite said accusingly.
Ares replied in a loud whisper, "Keep your voice down before you wake her."
Aphrodite crossed her arms over her chest and growled, "I asked you a question, Brother."
Ares grabbed her elbow and pulled his sister across the large room to the other side. "If you don't know, maybe you should stop being the goddess of love and take one of the other vacant positions. We have a lot of openings you know."
Aphrodite pulled her arm free of Ares' grasp. "You were always a pig, but now you have sunk to a new low, taking advantage of poor Gabrielle while she is in a weakened position."
Ares allowed a small laugh to escape. "I can attest to the fact that Gabrielle has many positions and none of them are weak."
Aphrodite slumped into an overstuffed couch. "I meant the state of her mind, not her bedroom gymnastics."
Ares sat on the arm of the couch and said, "Look when I found Gabrielle she was running around out of her mind in the desert. Sense we have been together she has been making excellent progress mentally.
Their conversation was interrupted when Gabrielle began yelling from the bedroom. "Nephinie, where are you, you bitch!"
Ares sprang to his feet. Pointing an accusing finger at his sister he whispered, "You and your big mouth woke her up."
Aphrodite slapped Ares' finger away from her face and said, "You don't need to whisper any more Ares. She's awake now."
Ares glanced at the bedroom door and then back at his sister. "Yeah, she's up now and it's all your fault."
Aphrodite began to chuckle. "What's wrong Ares? Is Gabrielle proving to be too much woman for you?"
"Nephinie, you better not make me come looking for you." Gabrielle shouted as she banged draws closed and knocked over object that shattered onto the floor in the next room.
Aphrodite could not help but smile at her obviously nervous brother. "Yeah Ares, she really sounds like she's progressing quite well to me."
The heavy oak bedroom door was almost ripped from its hinges as Gabrielle flung it open. "Bitch, I'm going to kill you when I find you" Gabrielle screamed as she exited the bedroom. Gabrielle took two steps into the sitting room. She had thrown a short, white rob on, that was carelessly left opened to show all her womanly charms. She began to yell as she entered the room. "Ares, where is?" She stopped when she spotted Aphrodite sitting pleasantly on the couch, smiling warmly at her. "Uh?hello Aphrodite. My? it's nice to see you again." Gabrielle attempted to comb her tussled hair with her fingers as she spoke.
Aphrodite stood up and walked over to within a few feet of Gabrielle. "It's nice to see you too Gabrielle, I see that the clean-shaven look in is this season."
Gabrielle looked down at herself and noticed her robe was completely opened. While fumbling for the robe's belt, she said, "Yeah, well, you know, hot dessert climate and all?" She shot an accusing look at Ares, who grinned sheepishly. Gabrielle gave an embarrassed smile as Aphrodite stepped up to her. The goddess reached around behind Gabrielle and produced both ends of the robe's belt. Gabrielle pulled her robe closed and Aphrodite tied the belt for her. As if Aphrodite hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, she sat back down on the couch and patted a spot next to her for Gabrielle to sit. Gabrielle was presented with a new problem when she was seated. Clutching the top of the robe with one hand she attempted to pull the bottom of the robe down with her other hand. There didn't seem to be enough fabric to meet her present needs. "Ares, would you please find Nephinie for me and ask her to prepare my bath for me?"
Ares didn't move. "Hey, I'm the God of War, not your massager boy. Gabrielle jumped up and ripped the short robe off and flung it at Ares. "Then you go prepare my bath and take your gift with you." Gabrielle hissed.
Ares pulled the robe that hit him in the face off of his head. Ares did not retaliate. He simply removed his own, larger robe and handed to Gabrielle. "All right then. You girls have a nice chat while I go heat the water for your bath." As the naked god walked away, Aphrodite had to give him credit. Ares could have become really ugly and struck back but he chose the path of least resistance.
Now, alone in the room that contained the sunk-in oversize bathtub, he waved his hand and has usual leather gear appeared on his body. Another wave and the bath water rose in temperature just the way Gabrielle preferred it. Next, he returned to the sitting room. "You bath is ready as you have commanded my queen." Ares said with a straight face.
Apparently Aphrodite must have had a calming affect on Gabrielle, because she seemed to be in a better mood. She only mumbled, "It took long enough" when she walked by him on her way to the bath.
"Ares, are you now aspiring to be Gabrielle's body servant?" Aphrodite chuckled.
"Your still here Aphrodite? Don't you have to go get your nails none or something?" Ares said as he sat down across from his sister.
"I'll let the smart remarks pass Ares. Just tell me what you up to. You could never stand Gabrielle before. Why the change of heart?"
Ares thought it over and then said, "Why not?" It's like this; Gabrielle is not the irritating little blonde she was when she uses to hang with Xena. She has grown and matured into a fine warrior. She will kill at the drop of a hat. I even have to prevent her from killing some times. Talk about role reversal. And you know what? She hasn't any of the shortcomings Xena had in the last six years or so."
"What shortcomings are you talking about?" Aphrodite asked.
"You know how she would always go around trying to atone for her past. "Oh, I killed so many people. I have to make up for it." Blah, blah, blah. She was getting to be a real drag at the end."
Aphrodite noticed that Xena's ever-present ghost was missing. "Speaking of Xena where is she? Or, her ghost I should say. She can't be too pleased knowing that you and Gabrielle are lovers."
Ares grinned broadly, "That's another example of my genius. When she left the city for who knows where, I found a mystic to put a spell or a curse or whatever they do so that Xena's ghost can't return. She can't come within five miles of the city. If she were to try, she would be forced back by an invisible barrier. Pretty neat hah?"
"How do you know it will work? I got in didn't I?" Aphrodite asked.
Ares smiled at her and patted the top of her head. "You're not dead, are you? Aphrodite slapped his hand away and stood up. "Come on Sis, surly you can figure it out. No? Okay I tell you it only works on the dead. People can come and go, do their business in the city and leave. Gods can do the same. But the dead, once they have checked out, they can't check back in."
Aphrodite was about to speak when Gabrielle returned from her bath. She was wearing Ares' large size rob. Her small frame looked even smaller in it. "Oh, good Aphrodite, your still here. Let's make plans for dinner tonight. Can you make it? Aphrodite nodded, "Sure I guess so." Gabrielle smiles and said, "Great, I'll see you then." She dropped Ares' robe on the floor as she walked to the bedroom. "Ares, come here, I desire your services." Gabrielle gently closed the bedroom door behind herself.
Aphrodite's looked at the door slack-jawed. "I think I've just been dismissed."
As Ares walked away from his sister, he waved bye-bye with one hand. "Got'a go Sis, you have no idea how bossy she can get sometimes. I kind'a like it." As Ares pushed the door open, the offended goddess disappeared in a sparkle of gold-colored light.
________________________________________________________________________
Uncle Evil, Defender of the Amazons
I awoke from my catatonic sleep to the smell of hot bread. I pulled on my boots and found Teddy and Little Miss Homemaker, Masand fussing with bowls and plates at a counter near the table. "Smells like honey-bread to me." I said cheerfully.
To my shock and amazement, Masand the man hater shot me a big fat smile. "Your right Virgil, it is."
As I flopped down at the table I ask, as a good guest should, if there was anything I could do to help. Masand tossed a bucket at me and told me I could go to the well and bring some water. Savage, I thought, I was just being polite. I really didn't expect you to take me up on it. I smiled and said, "Good, I would be glad to help in anyway I can. Where is the well?" Masand walked me to the door and pointed in the direction of the well. If I walked past the Big Girl's Clubhouse or, Council Building as they called it, then turned right I would be able to see it. Even a dullard like me couldn't miss it. In a demonstration of manliness, I grabbed a second bucket. And headed out the door.
As I walked down the road past rows of small Amazon living quarters, I received a variety of comments, giggles, smiles and several offers to bare my children. I just smiled and kept walking. I was determined to complete my task with no mishaps to spoil what looked like a promising day.
"Hey Virgil, wait up!" Oh no. It was Uncle Evil. I tried to pretend that I didn't hear him but that trick never works. Not for me anyway. Jett was now walking next to me and even took one of the empty buckets out on my hand. For some reason, it seemed to me that it was less masculine for two guys to each carry one empty bucket then for one to carry two. I snatched it back. "Hey what's your problem boy?" my uncle shouted at me.
"My problems are many Jett. Oh, by the way, thank you for leaving me alone to wander the streets by myself last night."
Jett laughed and slapped me on the back. "Your welcome boy. Did you meet any cute Amazon girls?"
Jett didn't even understand sarcasm when he heard it. "So where did you wind up last night Uncle?" I asked because I thought he wanted to tell me all about his sexual conquest. "Did you get any?"
Jett stopped walking, and grabbing my shoulder the turned me around to face him. I had forgotten how strong he was. "Virgil, I'm surprised at you. What kind of a question is that to as me? Is that how you were brought up?"
I quickly replied, "Uh? no" Now I felt like I had committed some transgression.
"Let me tell you something. You may not like Amazons too much but never forget that they are women worthy of respect. In fact, all women are worthy of respect. Did I get any, indeed?" My uncle started to walk away then turned back and said, "There is a meeting of the Council at mid-day, to make plans for out next move. Bring young Theodore." With that said Jett gave me a condescending look and marched off. I strolled on to the well and filled my buckets.
I trekked along the road trying my best not to let the Amazons see that the two buckets of water were somehow growing heavier as I labored back to Masand's digs. I walked through the door of the hut, and in a demonstration of manly virility managed to lift both buckets onto the table. Masand scooped up one of the buckets effortlessly and poured the water into several pots. I was rewarded with a simple thanks as she went about her business. I took the second bucket into by little room and gave myself a quick sponge bath before our meal.
Once somewhat refreshed and in a change of clean cloths, I sat at the table and listened to Masand and Teddy exchange news about their respective parents while we ate. My input was limited to informing the sibling about the meeting at noon. After our breakfast, the feeling returned to my arms and I informed Masand and Teddy that there was still some water in the bucket in my room in they wanted to wash up. This brought on laughter from my two tablemates.
"We wondered what you were doing in the next room "Teddy chuckled.
I raised a questioning eyebrow at him. Then, Masand gleefully told me there was a bath hut two doors down that I could have used. The pair found my sponge bath to be highly amusing. Once again I was the victim of Masand's vindictiveness. She could have told me about the bath hut. I pushed away from the table and walked with as much dignity as I could muster out the door. Masand reminded me between snickers not to be late for the meeting.
As I walked along under the hot sun, I began to mentally cool down. I had over reacted. Masand and Teddy were not really so bad. In fact, it was kind of funny now that I thought about it. Me standing there giving myself a sponge bath while there was a bath hut a few yards away. I should put my mind to the task at hand. I will unite Teddy with his mother. I found myself at the edge of the Amazon village and sat down under a shade tree. My thoughts drifted to Masand. I couldn't help thinking about her and wondered if she had any feelings for me.
"I think she does Virgil"
I looked up into the face of Xena. "Who does what?" I asked.
"Masand has feeling for you." Xena said as she sat down beside me.
"And just how did you come by this startling revelation?" I sneered.
"The dead can hear the thoughts of the living. And lose the attitude Virgil."
I closed my eyes and rested my head on the trunk of the tree. She was right. I have been sending a lot of bad vibes out lately. "Sorry Xena, I want to do the right thing but I feel resentment about it at the same time."
"Its not easy to serve the Greater Good at times." Xena said as she placed a ghostly hand on my shoulder.
I opened my eyes and they bore into Xena. "Oh please. Not the Greater Good stuff again. Maybe you and Gabrielle believed that mumbo jumbo, but not me."
"You father believed in it."
"Yeah, and look where it got him. Killed by your daughter thanks to the blunderings of Gabrielle. Where was the Greater Good then?"
I guess when you're a ghost, your much more calm, because Xena didn't snap my head off. She smiles and hit me with her next little tidbit of information. "Your father saver both Gabrielle and Eve that day."
"Saved Eve?" I said as I stood up. "I was there, remember? It looked like Eve was doing alright for herself during the battle." I took a few steps away, and poof, she was right in front of me. "Okay, I know your just dieing to tell me, so go ahead. I'll play along. Please tell me how my dad saved the nutcase and the now messenger of Eli." I plopped down on a handy tree stump. "I'll sit down for this, it should be really good."
"When Eve was about to kill Gabrielle, I raised my chakram and was about to kill Eve when your father came between us. I couldn't throw because it would have hit him. Yes, Joxer died in the end but he saved two lives. Had it not been for him Eve would have been dead. The message of Eli would never have been spread."
I stood up. "Gee Xena, somehow that doesn't make me feel any better. I started walking. As I walked, I shouted back to her, "But thanks for the pep talk. It made my day. See yeah at the big meeting."
Welcome to the Sweat Hut
One of the interesting things about an Amazon village is that none of the building have windows. They have doors and a little opening in the roof to let the smoke out but no windows. I later learned that the reason was to reduce the amount of drafts on a cold winter night. It also reduces the soft gentle breeze on a warm summer night to nil. I can kind of understand it for there little huts but the great women builders also carried the same, windowless concept to the council building. My uncle and Teddy were waiting for me at the entrance of the council chamber. By the time I climbed the stairs to the entrance. I was sweating thanks to the sun baking down on me.
So, at high noon I'm standing in the great hall packed by as many warrior gals as the Amazon fire code would allow. My underbritches are begging to be adjusted but that's a no go. When your one of only three men in the Nation of Amazons, people are going to observe you're every move. My shirt is soaked and sticking to me like a second skin and salty sweat was running into my eyes. Uncle Jett and Teddy didn't seem to share my discomfort. They engaged in mindless conversation while the estrogen level rose as more Amazon packed into the huge hall.
Tia and the Big Girls Club, a.k.a. the council, filed in and took their place on a small platform that allowed us to look up at their savage splendor. I looked for Masand among the great unwashed but she was lost to me among the mass of attendees. I saw the crowed start to part to my left and knew that the old scared head-hag was making her entrance. The noise level dropped to zero when Xena floated up to the platform and Tia call the meeting to order.
After some silly speeches and the shouting of feminist slogans, the matter of the rescue of Masand and the other three Amazons was brought up. Volunteers were requested and not to my surprise, every one of the Amazons was up for a little slicing and dicing. Tia said she and the council would inform the village which lucky gals win the all expenses paid trip to met Draco and his merry men. After an hour the meeting was over and everyone started to exit the building to sharpen their swords or whatever they do to pass the time between battles.
I was walking down the stairs as my under breaches were riding up my butt when I heard my name being shouted. I looked back and saw Tia waving to me. I hoped she didn't want me to climb back up there. As luck would have it, she was signaling just that. As I neared her, I could see she had a little group behind her comprised of Jett, Teddy, Xena and Labia. Jett's special friend.
"Virgil, did you forget about the meeting", Tia asked.
"I thought that was the meeting."
"No boy, that was a general meeting. Now we will meet to talk about our raid in Draco." Jett said in a way that suggested I had reinforced the theory I was an idiot.
As the sun was setting we descended the stairs with our plan locked firmly in my feeble mind. The Amazon were of the belief that Draco's forces numbered anywhere from five hundred to fifteen hundred men. That's quite a gap. Why didn't they just say they had no idea how many troops Draco had? Xena of course designed the plan. Libia and the gals under her command, about fifty warriors, would be held in reserve while Xena, Jett and I would sneak into Draco's stronghold and free the captured Amazons. Then on to Egypt to save Gabby from whatever pickle she was currently in. Hopefully, Gabrielle still had Xena's ashes. With the Gabster in toe we would head back through Draco's territory and on to Damascus and get the scroll from the Sage. Teddy would mumble the magic words and Xena would become flesh and bone again. No one brought up the fact that Gabrielle was crazy. My theory was that Xena would try to sex her back to sanity.
After a bath and a change of cloths, I went to join my teammates at the practice field. There I was greeted by the savage hoots and hollers of three thousand drunken Amazons dancing around several large campfires. I was shocked at the way they gyrated and seemed to lack any resemblance of modesty. I soon found that I could not take my eyes of them.
"Enjoying yourself Virgil?"
I turned to see Masand. "Where have you been Masand?" I asked. I had to admit, I was happy to see her.
"I've been assigned to Libia's command and I've been getting the war party ready."
I don't know why, but I was glad to know she would be traveling with us on this mission.
I was about to say something charming when Teddy popped out of nowhere.
"Virgil, Masand, Xena said to meet her at the stables. We ride in an hour's time." The lad was clearly excited. Going of on his first campaign.
I took one last, lustful look at the dancers and strolled of with Masand and Teddy.
Gabrielle's Dinner Party
Aphrodite appeared in Gabrielle's suite. She scanned the room but it was empty. "Gabrielle?"
"I'm back here Aphrodite." Gabrielle called sweetly from the next room.
Aphrodite followed the sound of Gabrielle's voice into the room containing the bath. The room was dark except for a half dozen candles perched on the edge of the over-size, sunk-in tub containing Gabrielle. Gabrielle could barely be seen. Only her head was above the water.
"Oh, did I come too soon?"
Gabrielle chuckled. "You can never come too soon or too often, Goddess of Love."
"I'm not sure I how I should take that Gabrielle." Aphrodite said slowly.
Gabrielle flashed her a million-dinar smile. "Take it the way it was meant. I missed your company Aphrodite. Its good to spend time with you. Come join me in a bath, there's plenty of room."
Aphrodite glanced around the dark room. "Ares isn't around, is he?"
"No, no, Ares is off doing his God of War thing. He won't be back until noon tomorrow. This is girl's only night. Come on, shed the cloths and get in here while the water is still nice and hot."
Aphrodite pulled one drawstring and her scant outfit dropped to the floor at her feet. She was about to step one foot into the tub when Gabrielle shouted "Wait."
Aphrodite retracted her foot from the water. "What's wrong?"
Gabrielle's eyes feasted on the naked goddess for a moment then stood and waded through the chest high bath water to the far end of the pool Aphrodite stood at. Aphrodite watched as the water's churning slapped at Gabrielle's perfect breasts as she moved toward her.
"Let me help you down, it's deep and you might lose your balance getting in." Once Gabrielle was beneath her, Aphrodite looked down between her own breasts at the smiling face of Gabrielle at her feet. Gabrielle broke eye contact and lowered her head to the goddess's feet. She gently kissed each of Aphrodite's feet in turn. Looking back into the goddess's eyes she said almost shyly, "I worship at your feet Aphrodite."
The goddess felt her knees growing weak. Her legs began to tremble. For a moment she feared she might fall. But Gabrielle's strong arms wrapped around her thighs and she felt herself being lowered gently into the steamy water. Half standing and half supported by Gabrielle, Aphrodite looked down into the bard's emerald green eyes.
"Why don't I bath you before dinner Aphrodite?" Gabrielle said softly as she eased the goddess back to an underwater bench. Now seated, her eyes were level with the standing Gabrielle's chest.
"Okay, sure", Aphrodite managed while her eyes fixed on the nipples that danced in front of her with every movement Gabrielle made while she began to soap the goddess's body. As Gabrielle washed Aphrodite's body she would stop ever so often and kiss the goddess's neck or face. Finally, Aphrodite could take the sweet administrations no longer. "By all the god Gabrielle, I want you." She said in a husky voice.
Gabrielle giggled. "I was hoping you would say that. I'm yours to command, anything you want from me I want to give you. You have always had my heart; may I offer you my body?" Aphrodite lowered her head and began to suck and bite Gabrielle's nipple. Gabrielle slowly stroked the back of Aphrodite's hair and said, "I'll take that as a yes."
After some foreplay, Gabrielle broke contact and climbed out of the bath. Aphrodite tried to see the tattoo on the bard's back but the lighting was too dim. After quickly drying herself off, Gabrielle held out a hand to help the goddess out of the water.
Aphrodite stood with trembling legs while Gabrielle dried her off. "All clean my goddess." Gabrielle said as she took one final look at the goddess's exquisite body. Taking Aphrodite by the hand, Gabrielle led her through the darkened suite to the bedroom.
Several candles illuminated the area around the bed, leaving the rest of the room in darkness. "You don't use many candles do you?" Aphrodite commented.
Gabrielle chuckled and replied. "What could be more fitting when you are about to experience my darkside?"
Aphrodite found this comment to be both unnerving and exciting at the same time. She watched as Gabrielle climbed onto the bed and lay on her stomach. There was enough light to display the large, multi-colored tattoo on Gabrielle's back. Aphrodite extended a hand and lightly touched the dragon tattoo with her finger. She felt a slight tingle and quickly pulled her hand back.
Gabrielle giggled and sat up on the bed. "The tattoo has magic powers Aphrodite. If you tried to stab me with a knife an invisible field would stop the knife before it got to within an inch of my skin."
"I would never do such a thing Gabrielle." Aphrodite protested.
"I know you wouldn't honey. But it can give both of us pleasure as well." Gabrielle cooed.
Aphrodite moved to the side of the bed. ""What do you mean?"
The limber little warrior was now on her hands and knees as close to the goddess as she could get without falling of the bed. "Slowly run your finger down my spine."
Aphrodite complied and felt a very pleasant tingle move through her. As soon as her finger reached Gabrielle's firm, round button the sensation stopped. Gabrielle, for her part, had arched her back with the downward movement of Aphrodite's finger and uttered little moans. "Now use your hand to do the same thing. Press a little more firmly then before. But this time when you get to my ass move your hand back up to my neck."
Aphrodite did as she was instructed and fought her own shacking legs and marveled at the way Gabrielle shock and whimpered at her firm touch. When Gabrielle could hold out no longer, she collapsed onto the bed. The goddess, also weakened fell on top of her. Now, lying next to Gabrielle on the bed, Aphrodite enjoyed the feverish kisses and licks from her bedmate. Several minuets later, Gabrielle stopped her assault and sat up. Looking down at her prone lover, Gabrielle whispered, "I always knew it would come to this Aphrodite. I knew that at some point you and I would become lovers. Tell me, did you feel it to?"
Aphrodite turned onto her side to face her new lover. "I? I guess I always wanted this but I didn't think it would ever happen because of -. "Aphrodite stopped because she didn't want to cause any pain by bringing up Xena's name.
Gabrielle smiled in understanding. "That's alright. Don't be afraid to mention Xena. I loved her as much as anyone can love another and I still do. But she's gone now. Not even her ghost comes to see me now. I'm alone Aphrodite."
Aphrodite felt a pang of guilt. Should she tell Gabrielle that as long as she was in this city Xena could not come to her because of the intervention of Ares? Was it so wrong to want Gabrielle for herself? "Well uh, you have Ares and now me, little one. You're not alone.
For an instant a strange look came over Gabrielle's face at the mention of Ares' name. But was quickly gone. "Yes, I have Ares. Or, he has me. I'm not really sure which way it works. Do I really have you as my own Aphrodite?"
Now Aphrodite sat up as well. "Yes, you have me my love. I would do anything for you. You should know that."
Gabrielle leaned into the Goddess and offered her lips. Aphrodite met them with her own. After a long kiss, Gabrielle turned around on the bed so that her head was resting next to the goddess's feet. Looking up to the ceiling the bard said, "I have needs Aphrodite. Needs that must be met."
Aphrodite watched as Gabrielle spread her leg to reveal her shaved womanhood. Aphrodite's heart began to pound. Was Gabrielle suggesting what she thought she was suggesting? The goddess's mouth grew dry as she watched Gabrielle massage her hairless mound.
Gabrielle drew up her legs and in a husky voice asked, "What's your favored color Aphrodite?"
"Uh, pink. You know that Gabrielle." Aphrodite's eyes were riveted to Gabrielle as the bard inserted a finger into her own moist hole. Next, Gabrielle mover both hands between her legs and spread her folds before the goddess. "Did you ever taste the color pink Aphrodite? Look, this is all pink down here. Come taste me."
Aphrodite felt her own wetness growing. Could this be real? Aphrodite knew it was real. With a grin she said, "And I thought all I was going to get tonight was dinner." As the goddess flicked her tongue at the Amazon queen's clit the last thing she heard before Gabrielle clamped her hands over her ears and positioned her head was. "Aphrodite, tonight I am your dinner."
Gabrielle smiled inwardly. Here I am, Gabrielle thought, in Ares' suite with the goddess of love on her elbows and knees, and her head between my legs demonstrating some very talented tongue maneuvers. Life is good. But I want more.
Honey, I'm Home
Area materialized in the living room of the suite. He was covered in blood, fresh from an exceptional battle. Nothing like a little carnage to get the blood flowing he thought. What better way to finish a perfect day then a little one-on-one with the carnivorous Gabrielle? He began tearing of his leathers and shouted, "Honey, I'm home." as he walked to the small table and pored himself a goblet of wine.
"I'm in the bedroom dear." came Gabrielle's sweet reply.
"Perfect." said the nude God of War as the walked the few paces to the bedroom door. When he entered the bedroom he dropped his goblet and stood in stunned silence at the sight before him.
Gabrielle's back was resting against the massive headboard of the bed. A sleeping Aphrodite's nude body was curled up beside her. The goddess's head lay across the smaller woman's stomach. Gabrielle's shaved mound glistened with a small pool of drool that had run down from the mouth of the Goddess of Love. Gabrielle's short legs were spread to accommodate the two fingers the sleeping goddess had inserted into her pleasure box. As Gabrielle stroked the hair of the goddess, she smiled brightly and said. "How was the battle dear?"
Ares understood that this was yet another of Gabrielle's mad attempts to shock and embarrass him. Bedding his sister was a little over the top in Ares' opinion. Regaining his composure, he said in a matter of fact way, "Well, here's a pretty picture." As he bent down to recover the goblet on the floor, he added. "When will you learn Gabrielle, you can't do anything to unnerve me?"
Gabrielle waited for Area to give her his usual smug look then she raised the stakes in their mental game of chicken. Reaching down with both hands she gripped Aphrodite's hand and eased out the fingers that had been impaling her womanhood. Making eye contact with the war god, she raised Aphrodite's hand to her mouth and slowly ran her tongue over the sticky fingers. A brief smile, before she engulfed the fingers, sensually sucking each in turn. "Mmmm, I do taste good, even if I do say so myself." Extending Aphrodite's limp hand in Ares' direction she asked. "Want some dear, or would you prefer to dip into the well yourself for a fresh supply?"
Ares, forcing a laugh said, "I'm not impressed Gabrielle. I wonder how long you laid there with Aphrodite's fingers up your uh-"
"Up my pussy? Up my cunt?" Gabrielle offered.
"Whatever. The point is I'm not impressed." Ares crossed his arms over his chest and was sure he would win this little skirmish.
Gabrielle pushed the still drooling and sleeping Aphrodite onto her side and climbed out of bed to press the attack. I disagree. Judging by your erection I think you are very impressed. Rising on tiptoes, Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Ares' neck and moved in for a kiss. The god of war turned his head to avoid her lips.
Gabrielle pouted, then said, "No kiss for little me Ares?" Gabrielle began to lower herself down Ares' body until she was on her knees. Looking up at him she said, "Okay you're a little bit disappointed in me because I fucked your sister while you were gone. But she is the Goddess of Love after all. I'm just a poor mortal, how could I resist her charms? Let me make it up to you."
Ares took a quick breath as Gabrielle began to lick his cock. He felt his body respond as Gabrielle took him into her mouth and engulfed his member. After several minutes of enduring Gabrielle's oral skills she stopped and asked, "Do you forgive me yet Ares?"
Ares pulled her to her feet and turned her around so that her back was to him. "I will in about ten minutes."
Gabrielle knew the drill. She bent over and slightly spread her legs. She rested her elbows on the foot of the bed's mattress, as Ares entered her from behind. She cupped her face in her hands when Ares grabbed her shoulders and began to pump away inside her. While Ares slammed into her, Gabrielle watched Aphrodite begin to stir.
The violent shacking on the bed waked Aphrodite up. She opened her eyes to see Gabrielle starring at her. Gabrielle wiggled the fingers of her right hand in greetings and move her finger to her lips in indicate silence. As Aphrodite watched, Ares shouted "How do you like this, you little insane bitch?"
Gabrielle's face suddenly took on the look of lust and passion as she yelled, "Oh yeah, baby. You're the king of cocksmen. Tear my pussy up with that tremendous cock of yours." No sooner has the words escaped her lips when the look of passion was replaced by a blank expression and then a sweet smile was given to Aphrodite.
Aphrodite held back a giggle when Ares yelled, "Whose pussy is this, huh? Tell me whose pussy this is!"
One again the temporary look of passion as Gabrielle screamed, "You're pussy Ares! You own my pussy! Sticks that cock so far up me that it comes out of my mouth! Gabrielle gave Aphrodite a look of apology; follow by silently mouthing 'Dinner tonight?'
Aphrodite nodded yes and then dematerialized, leaving Gabrielle alone with Ares. "Are you ready for this? You want it now?" Ares shouted.
Gabrielle rolled her eyes and took a deep breath before yelling, "Yes baby, yes! I need it! I want it! Ooooh, finish me now lover. AHHHHH!"
Later, Gabrielle lay snuggled against Ares in bed. The two had been silent for a long time. Finally, Gabrielle lifted her head off of Ares' chest and said, "That was the best ever Ares. You made me come so many times I lost count. We must have made love for hours and hours."
Ares brushed her hair and smiled contently. "Not hours little one. More like forty or forty five minuets."
"Really? It seemed like forever. I mean, I lost all concept of time." Gabrielle sat up and looked down at Ares and asked. "Ares, is that all you want me for. Just a mouth and a pussy to stick your cock in?"
Ares momentarily closed his eyes. 'Looks like the fun is over for tonight', he thought. "No, of course not." Sitting up he placed his arm around her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "Granted, the sex is great, but it's just an extra bonus. Your real value is as a warrior. Someday you will conqueror the world by force of arms. That is your destiny Gabrielle, it always has been."
Gabrielle leaned into him and in a husky voice said, "But I can do so much more for you."
Ares chuckled, "What could be better then conquering the world and making it your own?" His eyes began to roam her body and he pulled her closer.
Gabrielle pushed away and slid off the bed. After slipping on a robe, she said, "I could make you King of the Gods, Ares. Just think about it."
Ares sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her. 'Could her mad mind have forgotten Xena had killed off most of the powerful god?' "Well, that's not too exciting a prospect Gabrielle, seeing how there aren't many gods left except for me, Aphrodite and a few lessor gods. Even the Furies are gone." Ares patted the silk sheets. "Come on back to bed."
Gabrielle planted her hands on her hips and for an instant and look as if she might lose it. But that passed and she smiled sweetly. "Ares, you need to have the big picture."
"Gee Gabrielle, I thought conquering the world was big time." Folding his hands in his lap, he looked at her attentively. "Fill me in on what's bigger."
"What if you fathered a race of new gods? Gods inherently stronger then the old ones." Both mortals and gods serving you."
"Sounds good. Where do I sign up?" Now standing, he walked over to Gabrielle and asked, "What is going through the demented mind of yours Gabrielle."
Gabrielle wrapped her arms around him and drew him closer. "I will bear your children for you Ares. I will give you a race of warriors."
Ares' mind began to churn this over. 'How many of them would be insane?' he wondered. 'Well, I guess I could always kill the ones that where as crazy as their mother.' Finally he reached a decision. "Alright, you have a deal. As soon as you and I conquer the world we start planning our own little family."
Now Gabrielle pulled away. "Not so fast Ares. We have to come to terms first."
Ares truly looked puzzled. "Come to terms?"
"Right. It will take years to conquer the world. Maybe decades. I'm not immortal and I'm not getting any younger either."
Realization flooded into the war god's mind. "You mean-"
Gabrielle embraced the god in a hug. "Yes Ares. I can give it all to you? after you make me a god.
END OF PART ONE
That's the end of part one. Let me know what you think so far. OneillTC1949@aol.com.
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