Thank Ye's: To Bongo Bear et al, the authors of The Alternative Fan Fiction Cliche list for some of the inspiration. (If you haven't read it yet you're missing out on something*G*)
Subtext warning: Yes this story assumes that Xena and Gabrielle feel more than friendly towards each other.
Authors explanation: The title of this piece will become evident as you read the dang thing. But for those who insist upon an explanation: It is not so much a story as it is a commentary on "First Time" stories. As in the first time Xena and Gabrielle make love. I was inspired to write this as I watched the episode "Between The Lines" and found myself wondering how long it would be before a fan-fic author wrote a "First Time Story" featuring Gabrielles' new do. Keep in mind the fact that I happen to kind of like first time stories and this commentary is meant to be affectionately funny.
The story that you are about to read doesn't exactly have a beginning, in as much as it begins in the middle and simply meanders about until it reaches the end. Which isn't exactly an end so much as it is a new beginning. Got that? Good! So now lets begin in the middle:
Our fair maiden and former BGSB-wearing, fab-abbed stick fighting, spirituality seeking bard, also known as Gabrielle has just presented herself along with her new look to Xena.
Xena, our formerly and soon to be back again, leather encased, sword carrying, chakram flinging, back flipping, now looking so cool in blue former warlord likes Gabs' new do.
Xena looks at Gabs with her new do and is totally turned on but refuses to let it show because she just knows that Gabs doesn't love her in "that way". Meanwhile Gabs looks at Xena in her new blue outfit and says to herself "Wooo! Wooo! Wooo! Yes blue! Blue is THE color! OH YEAH! Love the warrior babe in blue!" Of course she keeps these thoughts to herself because she just knows that Xena doesn't love her in "that way".
What follows are a series of sly, lustful glances and heavy sighs that accidentally slip out while they simultaneously stare into their campfire causing each of our heroines to wonder if maybe, just maybe, the other does love her in......"that way ".
In the meantime all of their friends, family, acquaintances, assorted amazons, blind cyclopses and even Argo begin to wonder when they are gonna get together since it's so obvious that they love each other in "that way".
Eventually our two heroines will admit their undying love, not to mention pure physical lust for one another. But only after one of them has suffered a near death experience, a sprained ankle or at the very least a really, really, really bad head cold.
This admission of love leads to Xena asking Gabs at least 17.3 times if she is really, really, really sure that this is what she wants 'cuz by golly if she isn't really, really, really sure "then we can stop this right now". But Gabs is really, really, really sure. So what follows involves lot's of tentative tongue kissing followed by lots of not so tentative tongue kissing 'cuz "Gabs is a fast learner", even though she is still a virgin 'cuz Perdicus was impotent.
Then comes the seeking and finding of small buds and nubs and other pointy things that won't cause you to poke your eye out if you play with them. And finally the raging floods which will cause several nearby villagers to stop what they are doing and begin constructing an Ark...just in case.
At last our heroines lay side by side basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking....which lasts for all of three seconds 'cuz Gabs wants to do it again. Because even though Gabs was a virgin, on accounta' Perdicus was impotent, she really, really, really is a fast learner.
So ends the middle and now moves onto the new beginning as our heroines begin a new journey of love and lust but especially lust 'cuz Gabs really is a really, really, really fast learner. The End...I Think..?
© 1999 Tympany (Dreamer) Tympany2@webtv.net