It had been a long, busy day for the God of War. Starting a war could be difficult enough on the best of days he grumbled to himself as he shimmered into existence on his stony throne, but on this day, the holiday dedicated to his sister Goddess of Love, it was nearly impossible. Everyone was so impossibly...sweet. He scowled as though the very word offended his ears. It fact it did.

Surly and sulky, he decided to amuse himself by examining the offerings dedicated to him on his many altars. With a wave of his muscular arm, the images of them appeared in the air before him. A smile crossed his handsome face as he regarded the beautiful knives, swords, shields and bows laid out for him. Then he caught sight of something...something....pink! His lovely cheeks crinkled with disdain and the lightning fired in his deep eyes. Who would dare dare leave such a thing for the God of War.

"What is this!" he bellowed and the earth shook with his fury. With a wave of his hand the object appeared on the floor before him. It was a small pink box which appeared to contain small, red.... HEART-SHAPED objects. "Fool," he raged at the unknown worshiper, "Don't you know the God of War from the Goddess of Love" Small lightning bolts shot from his fingers as he spat the last three words. Then he noticed the large pink envelope. As it appeared in his hands he was astonished to read the legend Ares God of WAR printed on its surface.

"STRIFE." he bellowed at full force of his lungs. He knew too well his nephews' pranks. As the trembling Godling appeared before him, the God of War brandished the box and now flaming envelope. "WHAT." he thundered, "IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

Strife flinched and shrunk in his boots. "It wasen't me, Unc, honestly-"

"THEN WHO? WHY?" the temple shook with the force of his rage.

"I dunno, Unc. maybe-

"EHOUGH." the God shouted, "You may go."

Grateful for an escape Strife quickly vanished, as his uncle quietly regarded the box. Having vented his rage at his nephew, Ares' curiosity was now picqued.

Gingerly he opened the box and removed one the objects. He had always been fond of red. He smelled the object. It was edible. Wary, but curious, he tasted the object: It was sweet. It curdled on the God's tounge and he would have expelled it immediately had the sickening sweet not instantly turned to blazing fire in his mouth. "AHH" he murmured, eyes rolling ecstatically, hands desperately clutching his throne. It was...orgasmic. Satiated beyond the wildest dreams of any foods the God had ever tasted, he lounged contented in the knowledge that the box was full of them. He simply had to know who had sent them. Grasping at the smoldering envelope, he wrenched out a card.

More pink.

Then he recognized the fiery, beautiful visage of his Warrior Princess embalmed on the paper before him. Heart pounding his threw open the card and beheld the message. His head slumped back his throne, eyes closed in fervent desire. He threw up both hands, streamed lightning into the air, and a ferile cry of "YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!" was wrenched from his lips.

Be my valentine, it said, or I'll kick your butt.