wolf_sprite@msn.com

Acknowledgement:  My thanks to my dear friend Mel for her gracious help in editing this story and simply putting up with me.

I’m sitting alone on the balcony of my room at the Riverside Hotel. A meteor shower streaks across the clear night sky in a stunning and awe-inspiring show of nature. This is the second of what is to be three nights of the nocturnal performance. I missed last night because of the wedding rehearsal. It’s hard to believe my best friend, Greg, is now a married man.  Cynthia is good for him though; she loves him deeply, thinks his irritating little habits cute, protects and defends him and takes care of all his needs. Greg is the same with her. Yep, they are the poster children for a successful marriage and I for one am overjoyed at their good fortune in finding one another.

My thoughts of Greg and Cynthia and their wedding bring me right back to the reason I am sitting here alone in the dark with a half-empty bottle clutched in my right hand, under the pretense of watching the meteor event. Raising the bottle once more to my lips, I take a good swig in a futile effort to erase her from my minds eye. Nothing beats Southern Comfort as far as I’m concerned.

I know I should set the bottle down and head to the queen size bed that awaits me just inside the sliding glass doors. At least then maybe I’ll be somewhat tolerable in the morning at brunch with the Bride and Groom before they jet off for their Jamaican honeymoon. Yet the knowledge that she’ll be there tomorrow, all smiles and looking sexy as shit with that floozy Suzi on her arm again, keeps my elbow bending.

Out of all the women she knows, why in the hell did she pick her to accompany her to the wedding? Oh wait, I know…it’s because she knew it would drive me crazy having to feign politeness in her presence.

I take another slug from my bottle wishing that things could be different between us. I don’t know how I let myself get to this place. I really don’t understand how a person I could barely abide for so long now invades my every thought and ignites my desires like no other. The only thing we have ever shared is a mutual antagonism for each other. Because of whom we chose as our best friends, it was unavoidable that circumstances would continuously throw us together. We soon realized that in order not to disappoint or hurt our respective friends we had to call a truce and learn to deal with each other on a tolerable level. Much to my surprise, somewhere along the way I actually began to like her and her irritating ways. As our association continued, I stupidly let down my guard. Now, I find myself in the worst possible position I could have ever imagined…the pain of an unrequited love. The desperate yearning of unfulfilled desires is wrecking havoc on my life, rending open my heart and tearing at my soul.

One last gulp sadly brings me to the bottom of my bottle. I struggle to my feet and stumble through the glass doors to fall on the bed and pass out.

The ringing of the phone painfully jars my senses awake. Grabbing my head with one hand and the phone with the other, I growl a greeting unto the receiver. It’s my buddy Greg reminding me that everyone is to meet in the lobby and walk to the restaurant for brunch. One hour, he informs me. Well, that’s enough time to shove a few aspirin down my throat and take a nice long shower.

Finally managing to get up the courage to pull from the relative comfort of the bed, I slowly make it to my feet. I sway a bit before I stumble to my bag for the economy size bottle of aspirin then make my way to the bathroom. After gulping down a handful of the round white pills with a large glass of water and recovering from rush of dizziness it caused, I turn on the shower and crawl in.

I actually feel pretty decent after the hot water pounded some of the alcohol from my brain and I make it down to the lobby on time. Getting off the elevator, I spot our little happy group. Greg and Cynthia are still glowing with their happiness. Cynthia, laughing at something he said slaps his stomach, Greg just pulls her closer with the arm he has hung over her shoulders. They’re flanked by their parents and siblings, all wearing big happy grins directed towards the newly wedded couple. As I make my way over, I realize the one person I both crave and dread to set my eyes on isn’t present in the mix. Noticing me, Greg rushes over engulfing me in a giant bear hug that brings a true laugh of happiness to ring from my throat.

We join the rest of the group to await the others who are running late. Five minutes later with the ding of the elevator door she steps out with the giggling floozy Suzie draped all over her petite body. I find myself gulping hard fighting back the nausea caused by a wave of jealously that hit the pit of my stomach. Friendly greetings are exchanged all around. I plaster my best fake smile on my face and nod a good morning. We all head off out of the hotel walking down the street to the restaurant. I shove my hands into the pockets of my slacks and trail behind the rest of the gaggling group.

The restaurant is nice and we are led to a private alcove towards the back where a large table is set to seat us all. Grabbing a chair at the end of the table, I stick my nose in the menu handed to me by the waitress. Sitting here staring at the meal choices without really seeing them I try to regroup. Mentally shoving all my unwanted emotions into little boxes and tightly closing the lids. The waitress, setting a mimosa in front of me, asks for my food order startling me from my inner task and I quickly scan the menu pointing to the club sandwich. She takes the menu with a smile and moves on to the next person. Spying the mimosa, I grab it up thinking--‘hair of the dog’--‘kill or cure’. I take a long swallow and glance up almost choking at the sight across the table from me. Intently watching me are those gorgeous brown eyes that stubbornly continue to invade every corner of my psyche.

She tilts her head flashing a sexy shy smirk. I stupidly smile back and quickly find my drink again closing my eyes as I gulp it down. Opening my eyes, I grab the attention of a passing waitress and order another. A gentle touch on my left arm garners my attention and I turn my head to see Greg’s sister sitting there smiling at me. She asks if I enjoyed the meteor shower last night. Since this was the excuse used for my early departure from the nuptial festivities, I lie and tell her how I enjoyed the spectacle.  Our conversation continues throughout the meal along with an additional three mimosas on my part. Occasionally, I steal a glance across the table noticing a tension building between the couple and a pouting floozy Suzie.

The time had come for Greg and Cynthia to head back to the hotel, collect their things and head off to the airport. As I stand up from my seat at the table, I hazard one last glance in her direction and I’m met with the same undisguised look of longing I face every day in the mirror with one big difference…the eyes gazing back into mine are deep pools of brown. My breath leaves me as I stare into those murky depths in wonder. Is that look for me—can it be possible. A whining voice calling her name and a possessive hand pulling on her arm forcefully drags her away from the table breaking the spell.

Walking back to the hotel with my hands once again shoved deep in my pockets, I take up the rear of the group as my mind keeps flashing back to the look I was just privy to. My whole being prays that I didn’t just imagine it - but what if I did? I will not put myself out there just to be the butt of someone’s private joke while my heart is cleaved into a million pieces. I hang my head knowing I’m such a chicken shit and I just may be throwing away the thing I want most because of fear.

Before I know it the doors to the hotel are in front of me and it’s time to wish my best friend and his new wife bon voyage. With hugs and kisses all around, those who live locally head home while those of us staying in the hotel head to our rooms.

I shut the room door behind me, kick off my shoes with a heavy sigh and let myself fall face down on the bed. I’m tired--I don’t want to think—I don’t want to hope—I don’t want to want. I beat the pillow in frustration finally rolling to my back. Grabbing the television remote, I hit the power button and mindlessly start flipping through the channels. After about fifteen minutes, someone is pounding on the door. I know its Greg, for some reason his knock is very distinctive to me.

I open the door and there stands my best friend with the goofiest grin I have ever seen on his handsome face. Bouncing into the room, he chatters on about how he is now a happily married man and even though we can’t go skirt chasing together anymore I will always be his best friend. My eyes tear up because I know it’s the truth and he means it with all his heart. I hug him, give him a kiss on the cheek for luck, tell him I love him and wish him a great honeymoon. Pulling away, he tells me to have a safe trip home tomorrow then turns to reach for the door. He stops before opening it and looks directly into my eyes, his expression serious and he makes me promise that I will go down to the hotel pond tonight where I can sit to watch and enjoy the meteor shower. I promise I’ll do just that. A wide grin splits his face and he exits the room telling me, you never know what you may find in the night under the stars.

I spend the rest of the day napping, brooding and walking the hotel grounds until dark then I find a nice little spot by the pond to sit and watch the sky. I had promised after all.

I’m completely engrossed as I watch the dark sky ebb and flow with shining waves of light as the meteors travel by on their journey. A warm presence settles beside me. I look down as gentle, trembling fingers wrap around mine. My eyes follow the arm up to land on uncertain brown eyes full of warmth and love.

I know in that one moment all the answers to my unasked questions; all my doubts and fears flee as I realize she has had the same ones. A broad uncontrollable smile breaks from my face as I give a reassuring squeeze to the small hand in mine then raising it to my lips a gentle caress is bestowed across the soft flesh. No words are spoken or needed as we settle into each other watching Mother Nature’s beauty reign in the night sky.

Greg was right—I found my life this night under the stars.

The Beginning

Comments:  wolf_sprite@msn.com