The Long Day is Over
by Nora Jones

Feeling tired
By the fire
The long day is over


The wind is gone
Asleep at dawn
The embers burn on


With no reprise
The sun will rise
The long day is over

Gabrielle was snuggled in her bedroll sound asleep one moment and wide awake the next. She blinked her bleary eyes for a few seconds then looked over toward Xena lying close by, surprised to see the warrior still sleeping. She listened closely to her surroundings, trying to figure out what woke her, but didn't hear anything out of the ordinary. Sighing, she almost drifted back to sleep when she heard low mumbling and rustling coming from across the fire. She raised up on her elbows and looked over to where Joxer and their new friend Armand had spread their bedrolls.

Armand was curled up under his blanket, facing away from the fire, but still as a stone as he slept. Gabrielle watched Joxer closely and after a few moments saw him shift fitfully under his blankets, his breathing raspy and mumbling through his dreams. Gabrielle sighed sadly, knowing all too well that these were not merely dreams but nightmares.

Joxer writhed harder under his blankets then suddenly sat up, breathing in harsh gasps, still in the grips of his dark dream. His arm was outstretched, clutching an invisible knife, his eyes wide and blurred as they again watched a warlord run into it... watched the life fade from him his evil eyes... watched the blood well up and pour from the wound as time slowed to an agonizing crawl and the knife was pulled free from the body.

Gabrielle felt her heart clench painfully in her chest, seeing the torment in his eyes as they were locked on the blade he held that was only visible in his dream. His face and neck were soaked with sweat and his hair stood up in a mess of sweaty spikes. His arm trembled and fell to his lap and the tremors spread to the rest of his body. His gaze was still locked in the realm of Morpheus, but his breathing was slowing down.

Finally, he sucked in a breath and blinked his eyes rapidly, snapping out of his nightmare. After a few moments, when he realized he was awake, he threw back his blanket and stood on shaky legs, going to sit next to the smoldering fire. He took a stick and stirred up the fire to get warm, the sweat on his body quickly making him cold. He added more sticks and the fire kicked up, then cradled his head in his hands.

She quickly, but quietly, reached for her bag and took out a cloth and grabbed her canteen. Easing out of her bedroll so as not to wake Xena, she stepped silently over to stand behind him and whispered his name. He started slightly, so she knew he heard her, but he didn't turn or say anything. She sat down next to him on his right. "You okay?"

Joxer glanced at Gabrielle and tried to speak but his mouth was bone dry and his throat didn't seem to want to work as he swallowed thickly.

"It's okay," Gabrielle patted his arm. She uncorked her canteen and handed it to him. He drank greedily from it for several moments then handed it back, wiping his chin with the back of his hand, paused, and rubbed his fingers over the sticky sweat in his eyes. Gabrielle used what water was left to wet the cloth. "Here," she said as she handed it to him.

Joxer sighed heavily and wiped his face, pressing the blessed coolness of the cloth to his skin, wishing he could stay hidden behind the cloth. He hated for Gabrielle to see him like this, weak and shaking from that awful nightmare. He lowered the cloth and handed it back to her. She took it with a small smile, "Feel better?"

Joxer wanted to smile back, but he couldn't, so he just gave a short nod.

Seeing his haggard face and his tired, haunted eyes, Gabrielle felt a deep pang of sorrow in her heart and felt a sheen of tears well up in her eyes. She wanted to just wrap her arms around him and hold him and tell him everything would be all right, but she knew it would be a lie... everything would be changed for him now... and it would change him, as well.

The truth of that broke her heart because she didn't want him to change, she liked him just the way he was. He was always such a warmhearted person, full of life and joy in the simplest things. He was terribly clumsy, yes, and though it could be annoying at times, it had also become an endearing quality about him. She could always count on him to lighten any blue mood she or Xena might have by making them laugh at his general goofiness.

Gabrielle didn't want him to lose that bright outlook he had on life, but she knew all too well once a person lost their blood innocence, they would never see things the same way again. She wanted to comfort him, to help him through this terrible time.

She curled her right hand over his upper arm. "I understand what you're feeling, Joxer." She turned her eyes to fire, her gaze going inward as she remembered her own experiences. "Like the nightmares will never end. Like everything has changed."

Her voice went very soft as she went back to that dark time. "You feel lost, like you're suddenly in a strange land and all you want to do is go back home, but you don't know how to get back. You feel so alone and confused because you can't even trust yourself anymore." Gabrielle shivered and her hand tightened on his arm in reflex to the painful memories. Joxer tilted his head toward her a bit in reaction, still silent.

Gabrielle sighed and continued. "You feel like there's a darkness so deep inside you now that no light will ever be able to reach it... a coldness that no fire can ever touch. It hurts so deep inside, you don't think you'll ever heal. I've been through it all, Joxer."

Joxer fisted his hands against his face, the truth of her words hitting him like a punch in the gut. He wanted to speak, to say something, anything to her, but he was holding himself together so tightly at that moment, he was afraid if he let one sound escape he'd fall apart completely.

Gabrielle could feel the tension in his arm and the way it was radiating from him in waves and her heart swelled with concern and affection. She scooted closer, wrapped her left arm around his back and leaned her cheek against his shoulder, hugging him to her. She felt him shudder and take a deep, shaky breath, his body coiling even tighter beside hers.

"I've been through it... and I came out the other side of it, Joxer, and so will you. You'll find your way back." She squeezed him, "And you're not alone, you know. Xena and I are here for you."

She felt him shift and raised her head to look up at him, swallowing hard to see the naked emotion pouring from them and the wash of tears he held back so fiercely. "You have a good heart and a strong spirit, Joxer. You'll be surprised to find just how strong you are, I think." His struggle to believe her was evident in those turbulent eyes. "We love you. We're going to help you through this, okay?"

His eyes searched hers for several long moments, but for what she couldn't tell, but whatever he discovered seemed to satisfy him and dropped his eyes, giving the barest of nods. She felt relieved to have gotten this much from him and tucked her head back down on his shoulder, then looked up at the sky. Her lips curved into a soft smile.

She nudged his arm to get his attention and pointed up at the brightening sky. "See? It doesn't stay dark forever. The sun will rise."

Watching the black of night fade into the blues and yellows of morning, having the strength and support of Gabrielle's arms around him, Joxer felt much of the terror and tension of his nightmare drain away, felt the tightness and panic in his chest ease.

He sighed and tilted his head dark down to rest against her golden one, murmuring to himself, "The long day is over."

~FIN~