The Story:In this story, Callisto never killed Perdicus. A couple of seasons late? Yes, I know.

Anyway, this is my take on what could have happened. Possibly. Maybe.

The Author: Would love to hear what you thought. You can write to me at xenickz@hotmail.com
But please, be gentle. I'm new at thisJ

I cleaned the bartop, sighing to myself as I looked around. It had been another extremely long day and all I really wanted to do was collapse onto my bed. However, judging from the state of the inn, that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. It had been unusually quiet that night. Strange, I mused, since Plagaris the bard usually packed a full house. He was good but had a nasty little habit of passing off work that wasn't his as his own, I thought to myself sourly. Once, he had recited a story that sounded strangely familiar, so familiar in fact, that I had found myself whispering the words along with him. I had written that story.

I had also sold the scroll so it really didn't make a difference now, I told myself.

He was good but…

I could have been so much better.

That thought startled me. It had been so long since I'd even thought about writing. So very long, I thought to myself, shaking my head.

"Hello Gabrielle, " a soft voice broke the silence. I froze. I knew that voice. I knew that low, rich tone, How many times had I heard it say my name like that, exactly like that? I'd lost count. Just two little words but they brought back a rush of memories, like a flood of water. This voice brought back the scent of leather, deep blue eyes and a brilliant white smile. It brought back a thousand nights by the fireplace, watching the stars. It brought back some of the best…and worse times of my life.

Inwardly, I started to tremble. Everything in me was screaming to turn around but instead, I remained as I was, closing my eyes and savoring the memories and rush of emotions that voice brought. Then something in me hardened. I turned around.

It was definitely her. Even in the semi-darkness, I could make that out. Her eyes seemed to glow, an amazing mix of liquid silver and icy blue. She stood in the shadows and I marveled at how well she blended in the darkness, as though she were part of it. She was leaning against the door, relaxed, languid but I knew every muscle was taut. Her calm was like that of a cobra before it struck. She was nervous. Good.

"Well, if it isin't the mighty warrior princess herself, " I drawled, instantly hating the way I sounded, so cynical and angry. Was that really me?

She cringed. I couldn't see it, but I sensed it. I knew her better than anyone else. Or so I had thought.

"What brings you to our little town, Xena? Warlords to fight? Slavers to stop? "I mocked. It poured out of me, words that had been surpressed far too long.

"No, " came the soft reply. "I came to see you, " .

I let out a bitter laugh. "To see me? Xena the great, Xena the. . . what do they call you now? Xena the all mighty hero has decided to bestow the honour of her presence on me? Do I thank you? Or is bowing more appropriate these days? "

"Gabrielle, " she began but I cut her off. I knew I had suceeded in hurting her from her wounded tone . Still, I had ten years worth of anger bottled up in me and it was only fair she share some of it. "Ten years, Xena. Ten long years without so much a note, forget about a visit! Not so much message to tell me whether you were dead or alive. Did you have any idea whatsoever how worried I was? Did our friendship mean so little to you…did I mean so little to you that you could walk away from me like that? After everything we went through, you owed me at least that much! I never asked you for more. You told me you would always be there for me. That you would never say good-bye. Where were you then? Where were you, when I truly needed you? ". Tears filled my eyes but I refused to shed them. Not here, not now.

"Where were you, Xena? Where were you? "I whispered.

Silence. She wouldn't even dignify my outburst with a reply.

I blinked back tears. "Go back, Xena. Go back to your life and all those people who so desperately need you." I need you. "If you're looking for the Gabrielle that you deserted, then you're wasting your time because she's not here anymore, " .

Once again, silence fell and I sighed raggedly.

She turned slowly and began to walk away. Then she stopped. "Gabrielle? "

I bit my lip in an effort to keep myself from bursting into sobs.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, " .

A sob escaped. She turned around. The sadness and hurt in her eyes did me in. I began to feel my anger dissolving. Damn it to Hades! I'd been through so much.

"Gabrielle? "She called softly.

My resolve weakened further. I shook my head .

She took a step forward, out of the shadows and I noticed then how tired she seemed. How much older. Her face was gaunt. She hadn't been looking after herself. She took another step forward and I backed away. "No, " .

"Gabrielle, " she tried again and I began to wonder if she'd missed me as much as I'd missed her. My eyes locked on hers and I could see I had wounded her, even though she tried to hide it. It was easy to find if you knew what to look for. "Gabrielle, I'm sorry, " .

"No, " I cried out, losing it then. "No! I hate you! Do you hear me? I hate you! Just leave! "I screamed hysterically, then burst into tears. She took the remaining steps quickly, her legs eating the distance between us, and held me close. "I hate you, " I said weakly but found myself clinging even tighter as the sobs wracked my body. "I hate you so much, " I said again, without confidence, relishing the security her presence brought. "I know, " She murmured into my hair, wrapping her arms around me, as though never to let go.

"Why can't I hate you? "I whispered. I pulled away, seeing the shadows in her eyes and felt my heart clench. What had I done?

"Oh Xena, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, " I whispered, mortified at the childish way I'd lashed out at her. She gave me a lop-sided grin and it was a sight so familiar I wanted to cry in relief. "It's alright, Gabrielle. I deserved that, " . She truly believed that, I could see. Sometimes, I thought the only person more bent on punishing Xena was Xena herself. "No, " I said firmly. "I was wrong, " . She started to shake her head but I caught her face between my hands. "Hey, you don't want to make me angry now, do you? After all, I am an Amazon Princess, " I mock growled. It was like a metamorphosis, watching her face change. The lines around her eyes crinkled and her lips slowly curved, revealing bright white teeth as she let out a low chuckle. Bright blue eyes twinkled at me.

"And what are you going to do? Talk me to death? "She teased gently. I poked her in the side. "Hey! Watch it. I am royalty, you know, " I said, my smile betraying my words. She continued to smile, watching me.

"What's so funny? "I asked her, still delighting in her laugh. It had been so very long. "Same old Gabrielle, " she said. That stung a little. I looked away.

"No, I'm not, Xena. I've changed, I've changed a lot. I don't…I don't write anymore, " I suddenly blurted out.

The smile faded and she looked at me again, as though for the first time. She saw what I saw when I looked in the mirror. The youthful naiveté was gone . With age had come wisdom but it had a price. She sensed the change and nodded to show she understood. "Still, you'll always be my Gabrielle to me, " She said with a smile and those few words were like a balm to my aching heart. I had no idea how much I needed to hear that.

She suddenly paled. "Did you…did you stop writing because of me? "

I considered that carefully. She had been a large reason. "Partly. Partly also because of my life. I had the inn and my family to look after, " I said, noticing the look of relief. "Besides, I could hardly write an epic about the turnip harvest, " .

Again, the lop-sided grin. She sat down on one of the chairs and busied herself with the candle holder. "Where's Perdicus? "She asked after a while. I met her gaze. "Perdicus died eight years back. He enlisted to fight in the war against Caesar but he…he was killed there, " . She touched my hand gently. "I'm sorry Gabrielle, I had no idea, " .

I smiled at her concern. Very few people saw this side of her. "I'm alright. It was a long time ago. I'm surprised you weren't there though, " . She shrugged, looking uncomfortable. Caesar wasn't exactly her favorite subject. "Anyway, after his death, I opened the inn to support myself…and little Xena, " .

She stared at me as though I had told her I had become a Hestian Priestess. "You have a child? "she whispered wonderingly. I nodded, trying hard not to laugh at her dumbfounded expression.

"Would you like to meet her? "

She nodded, looking too flustered to talk, and followed me into the back room. I led her to Xena's cot, where she lay curled up, sleeping contentedly. She had brown hair and my green eyes. Xena bent over, watching her in fascination. Then she slowly reached out and touched a tendril of dark hair. I watched them smiling at the picture they made. "She's beautiful, " Xena breathed. She continued to stroke her head,

watching her sleep as though it were the most interesting thing in the world. She looked up at me, her eyes suspiciously shiny. Tears filled my eyes once more and trickled down my cheek. Her expression of wonder changed to one of alarm. "C'mere, " she said wrapping her arm around me and leading me out of the room. Once we were in the hallway, she lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. "What happened? "

"It's nothing, " I said through my tears. "I'm just so…h. . h. . happy, " . I saw the blatant relief before she hugged me once more. "I'd hate to be around you if something really bad happens, " .

I laughed and attempted to wipe my tears away.

"I'm so glad you're back, " I said suddenly.

"Me too, " she said and we shared a smile. "It's late. Let's go get some rest, " . She suggested.

I nodded and sighed in contentment.

I turned around. Three soldiers approached me. I swung my sword in an arc, warning them off. They hesitated, exchanging glances, unsure of what to do. One of them retreated, the other two bradished their swords and advanced. I grinned ferally. I launched myself into the air, tucking myself into a double summersault as they rushed at me. I landed directly behind them, pulling out my sword and winking at them, knowing it would only enrage them further. Then, I let the darkness take control. It was like I simply existed to fight. It was my sole purpose. I felt the most alive when I did. Adrenaline coursed through my body and I threw my head back, uttering my warcry. My blood sang in my veins as I twirled my sword in an intricate display. I watched the fear in their eyes as they realised they had made a mistake. Unmistakable fear. I could sense their fear, sense their panic.

I liked it. I loved it.

I stuck my sword first in one, then the other. They fell to the ground slowly, one then the other. One of them clutched their chest in disbelief, the other looked up at me pleadingly. The fool. As if I could do anything.

As if I would do anything. I stood over their bodies and watched their blood stain the earth and the life slowly drain from their eyes. It was then I heard the person creeping up behind me. Careless, I thought shaking my head, so very careless. I threw my dagger overhead almost lazily in his chest without even bothering to turn around. What was one more?

I turned to retrieve my dagger. I froze. It was a Greek soldier. I had killed one of my own men….

I sat up quickly, my heart pounding, my body bathed in sweat. A dream. It was a dream, I chanted to myself. Nothing can hurt you now. You're safe.

I could hear Gabrielle's deep even breathing next to me. The guilt free sleep of the innocent. How I envied her. I ran a trembling hand through my sweaty hair brushing it off my forehead. The moonlight spilled through an open window, illuminating her features. I watched quietly, my heart beat slowing. She had such angelic features, I mused.

It had been so very long since I'd last seen her. Ten years. They had been as hard on me as on her.

After a while, I'd planned on coming back but my shame kept me away. So I waited and waited until I could stay away no longer. It was selfish of me, I knew. The joy in her eyes when she had first seen me filled me with grief and self-disgust.

How could I tell her what she had to hear? I knew the moment I did she would hate me. How could she ever forgive me for what I had done?

I buried my face in my hands as I remembered the rest of the dream that had been haunting me for the last eight years.

He reeled slightly, the knife embedded deeply. The darkness receeded and it was as though a veil had been removed from my eyes. I watched in horror with new eyes as he pitched forward and fell to the ground. As he did so, the helmet fell away and rolled onto the ground. He looked up at me then, blood spilling out of his wound, his very life draining away as I watched helplessly hating myself for what I had done. You see? You will never change, a voice hissed in my head. I could only watch numbly. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Confused, accusing eyes stared at me, telling me everything that he couldn't. Then, he lay his head back down and breathed his last, leaving me on the battle field, looking into Perdicus' lifeless brown eyes.

The End