Honestly, the only one I can think of at the moment is "Permission to recover" by Cheyne Curry. But that takes place in the 70's and isn't so much Don't Ask, Don't Tell as it's Don't tell because we're asking and we'll kick you out and do some nasty things to ya if we hear even a whisper.
But here it is nonetheless
http://xenafiction.net/scrolls/chene_curry_permission_to_recover1.htmlIt should be noted that "Permission to recover" isn't a romance story in a military setting, but rather a military story with a little bit of romance in it. It's there, but no way near the focus of the story.
It's odd. I thought I'd have more stories to mention but I'm drawing a blank.